#bit of a tangent but I find it interesting how if I had to name a main LI in MotY I'd say it's Thomas but it's Levi who gets canonized

[the-unconquered-queen]

*Examples of books in which you can tell there is a main LI:

Bloodbound - Adrian

Bachelorette Party - Aisha

Foreign Affairs - Blaine

Open Heart - Ethan (practically canonized in WEH)

The Haunting of Braidwood Manor - Eleanor

[rainbow-crane]

In-Depth Character Analysis On All The DR Characters Because What, Are You Gonna Try And Stop Me? Who Are You, My Mom? Yeah, I Didn't Think So- Part 1: Kiyotaka Ishimaru

Yes, I'm aware the title is ungodly long, it's called comedy. Behold, a series inspired by my overwhelming hubris! Despite my better judgement, I love this series and (almost) every single one of its characters, so I decided to do this little series of posts on the side, just cuz!

So part 1 of like, 88 I think?, going through the characters from THH, DR 0, SDR2, UDG, DR3, and DRV3 with as much objectivity as possible, analyzing their character using only canon material from the games/anime/novel/canon adaptation they're present in. So sit back and enjoy while I go feral! Or just scroll, if you aren't interested. Whatever works for you.

Part 1- Character Design

Kiyotaka Ishimaru is depicted as a very aggressive honors student, and is shown as such through his very expressive facial features and his choice of clothing. He has large eyebrows and big eyes, and is given a uniform meant to make him look more like a soldier, reflecting his rigid dedication to the rules and his ethics. This uniform also includes an armband meant to signify his authority within the class as Hall Monitor and as the unofficial class rep. His sprites are very animated, with big gestures using his arm(s) and his mouth often wide open, whether in a wide smile or while yelling. This makes him one of the more expressive characters in THH specifically, as most of those characters are pretty restrained on a day-to-day basis and only become more exaggerated when put under high levels of stress.

Something interesting about Taka is that his talent changes from the original Japanese to the English translation. His official talent is the SHSL Public Morals Committee Member, meaning his original talent was that of discipline and social order. This was translated to Ultimate Moral Compass in English, as most western schools don't have a Public Morals Committee. This change in translation unintentionally shifted the perception of his talent from discipline to morality. This change in distinction has had a bit of a negative impact on the Western perception of his character, as rather than appearing to impose order on the other students, it instead appears at the beginning as though we, the audience, are supposed to view him as a beacon of morality. We're not.

Part 2- Character Introduction

Taka is one of the first characters to actually speak to Makoto directly, berating him for being late on the first day of school, despite the fact that he and everyone else had experienced a strange warping of memory. He also goes on to interrupt your first conversation with Sayaka, stating that their time is being wasted by 'ridiculous back-and-forth'. Despite this, when it's his turn to introduce himself to Makoto, he goes off on a tangent about how cool Makoto's name is. He's described by Makoto as a 'flawless honors student' and is most publicly known for his work on his local Public Morals Committee. He believes in putting 'every ounce of effort' into living, and imposes this belief on those he interacts with, something Makoto finds irritating(This guy is... kind annoying.").

So in short, Taka's first impression on the player is that he's a mildly obsessive honors kid, and a bit of a hypocrite that isn't fully aware of his own presence or the effect it has on the rest of the cast. The game goes on to use this lack of social awareness as a source of comedy, as he takes Monokuma's initial greeting as Headmaster fully at face value. He struggles to grasp the concept of the killing game at first, opening the discussion upon Monokuma's departure from the welcome ceremony with dialogue that sounds like it was pulled from a customer feedback survey("So guys, how would you define what we just experienced?"). He's not a malicious or hateful figure; he wants to work with the class but isn't quite sure how to.

Part 3- Early-Game Events

The game spends the early-game establishing Taka's more negative traits. He's shown to be inobservant and wrapped up in his own ideals and need to command authority to even notice Kyoko is missing and, upon being informed of her disappearance, cares more about her punctuality than her safety. "Not only is she late, she didn't tell anyone she would be late! A most unbecoming personality trait..."

He's also established as hypocritical once again, and a bit egotistical, as he has trouble fathoming the others' lack of discoveries but overinflates the importance of his own.

He then goes on to agree to Celeste's suggested nighttime rule for all the boys in the class, without letting them speak for themselves. While ultimately, no one has a problem with the rule, this is the first real instance of him doing something that, on paper, is beneficial to the group, but without considering how the others actually feel about it.

Taka doesn't show up in-story again until the day of the motive, when he goes around to the entire class demanding that they will now all have breakfast together every morning after the morning announcement. Although this is a good idea, allowing for everyone to bond and creating a morning headcount, he makes this decision for the entirety of the group. Leon and Makoto both complain about this if you speak to Leon outside the cafeteria, but ultimately go along with it because they don't want Taka to continue bugging them about it. So we can see that his efforts are perceived negatively by his classmates and go unappreciated.

Already we've seen Taka act overbearing and commanding over and over, inadvertently separating himself from the majority of his peers. He's direct and to the point, forming the breakfast meetings expressly to 'become friends and build trust' with the rest of the class. So we can see in no uncertain terms that he wants to befriend his classmates, but that his lack of social skills leads him to fail at every turn. He doesn't ask the class to join him for breakfast, he tells them. The strategy he employs doesn't leave room for choice, and ends up building resentment from his classmates.

It's not until the first body is discovered and the rules of the class trial are revealed that reality fully seems to set in for Taka. He, along with everyone else, are given the rules of a game they don't really want to play- that should they fail in the trial, all of them will be killed. And it sends Taka to a breakthrough- that some regulations can be harmful to those they're imposed upon.

There's now a shift in his actions- he's still trying to push for the class to follow the rules he's set, yes, but there's a newfound urgency to them. When Byakuya disappears in chapter 2, his concern has shifted from punctuality to his classmate's safety. He's the one to lead the search for Byakuya when he doesn't answer. Despite all his harshness, we can see that his strictness now comes from a place of genuine concern for the people around him, a direct parallel to earlier in the game when Kyoko went missing- "I'd like to think so. But I'm worried something might have happened to him."

This growth of character, though not focused on, is undoubtedly present. The dedication he has to his discipline and his ego are still fully intact, but now that dedication has moved beyond just order. It's an act of protection, for him and everyone else. The invisible threat of death has become all too visible with Sayaka's absence from their last breakfast meeting. If he can keep track of everyone, then he'll know they're still alive. He can prevent another murder. It imposes upon him the responsibility of the leadership he craves.

Part 4- Relationship(s)

Unincluding if the player actively seeks him out through FTEs, Taka only ever develops a real relationship with one character of the other fourteen in-game, though he does have some important dynamics with others. We'll continue moving in chronological order.

4.1- Ishimondo (these bitches gay?)

Throughout the game, whenever Taka is saying or doing something stupid, Mondo is typically the one to call him out on it or shut him down. While this doesn't start to take real shape until chapter 2, it is visible here and there in the early game.

But their connection doesn't really start to take focus until chapter 2, as Taka's failings as leader and Mondo's constant correcting him puts them at odds. Mondo's attitude is the antithesis of Taka's, living a life of complete risk and impulsiveness, yet has a matching level of energy, and despite being more intimidating on a surface level, he's able to actually befriend characters like Chihiro, Hina, and Sakura, while Taka's left on the out. One of the best examples of this is found not in the game, but in the stageplay adaptation, where both characters attempt to help Chihiro feel better about her weakness in the daily life segment.

When Byakuya starts mocking Chihiro for her fear, Mondo threatens him, and insists that Chihiro's weakness doesn't matter because she's a woman. But when this makes her upset and Sakuraoi call him out on it, he offers to help Chihiro train as an apology, acknowledging that his behavior was irrational. But when Taka tries to give her advice by telling her not to be weak anymore and is told to be reasonable, he can only insist that Mondo's words don't matter anyway.

In the game itself, Taka's barely present for this exchange, as it chooses instead to focus on Chimondo's relationship. Regardless, the animosity between Mondo and Taka is still made very clear in-game.

Mondo and Taka are both demonstrating the desire to protect their classmates here, but in different ways. Taka is the more logical of the two, focusing on keeping track of resources and devising a system of check for everyone to keep watch over each other in the breakfast promise. Mondo, meanwhile, wants to push the importance of actually getting everyone the fuck out of there. While their endgoal is the same, they disagree on how to go about it, and both their stubbornness drives them to butt heads as time continues to pass, leading to the sauna scene.

After being slowly built up in the background, Ishimondo's mutual anger finally comes to a head, with both not understanding the position that the other is in. Taka still believes Mondo's value to be what he provides to society, and as a biker gang leader, that's not much to a man that lives by lawful discipline. Meanwhile, Mondo can only see Taka as an egomaniac with a stick up his ass and doesn't know the background to why(and neither does the player without actively seeking out his FTEs). They each follow a different code of ethics, and view themself as the protector of the class, leading them to see each other as rivals. Yet, despite that, both of them still share their core value of total dedication, and so when finding a way to prove themself the better man, they end up with an endurance competition. For Taka, this reflects his belief that men connect by baring their souls, and do so by baring their bodies(something only learned in-game by approaching him for FTEs).

(This also leads to the implication that, while Mondo insisted on entering the sauna with all his clothes on, at some point, he was, in fact, naked while with Taka that night.)

The information as to what happened in that sauna is intentionally left unanswered, remaining fully private between both men in-game. The only thing either of them will say is that a brotherhood was formed between them, and that who won their initial contest no longer matters. Finally, Taka has found someone. Someone he can confide in and lean on, someone who'll support him and that he can support in turn("And if you can't do it alone, just find someone to support you, and you can support them back! That's how you can overcome any storm!" -Taka ch 1).

And then Chihiro's case happens.

At first, when the motives are introduced, Taka is one of the few to vocally insist no murder will take place. He has newfound confidence in the willpower of his classmates, and puts faith into everyone else for the first and only time. Even when presented with his own unknown secret, he finds it ridiculous that anyone would kill over the embarrassing memories and secrets. It's here that we truly see the highest high of this character- when he comes up with the idea to share secrets. When he presents this idea, he moves forward as usual, preparing to be the first one to reveal their secret and take the pressure off. But when his classmates insist they can't (Toko & Celeste) he doesn't keep chugging along, and he doesn't completely shut down, either. He looks around at his classmates, and he asks Chihiro. He actually steps back and asks for someone else's opinion.

And when she isn't yet comfortable, he backs off. He respect her wishes, and he stands with the class, ready to help them face their secrets the following day. Finding a friend in Mondo has softened his rigid exterior a little bit, enough to actually consider the opinions of the others. He's gotten comfortable. All that comes crashing down with the discovery of Chihiro's body the next morning. After finally taking a step back and letting his classmates- his friends- make their own choices, it directly leads to the murder of one of them("Dammit! I'm sorry, Chihiro... It's all because I wasn't strong enough!").

Taka fully blames himself for allowing Chihiro to be murdered, and as the guilt of failure starts to set in on him, he looks to his ethics and order to solve it. Chihiro may be dead, but the murderer will be condemned through the class trial("Justice always prevails! Right, bro!?"). A solution, a path forward, still exists for him. He still has Mondo by his side, and he and the rest of the class can surely prevent this from happening again, right?

The trial only validates him at first, revealing the existence of a serial killer among the group, someone so clearly immoral for her killing obsession. But it's not her. Why isn't it her? "Could such a heinous villain really be innocent!?" But his confusion is quickly stamped out- of course, it's Byakuya, the guy that's been threatening everyone and refusing to cooperate, the guy that has no regard for the rest of their classmates. "He kept calling this a game, right? So he'd totally be willing to do whatever it takes to 'win'!" But no, wrong again- he didn't know that the murder was in the boys' locker room, and was taken aback by Chihiro being AMAB. It should be him, someone so clearly antagonistic, that's how it's supposed to go, right?? But no, it's wrong! Why? And, who could kill someone like Chihiro at their most vulnerable?

He's failed. Taka's failed in every way conceivable. Mondo, the first person he's ever truly felt connected to, a murderer? Chihiro's murderer? That can't be it. Even long after Mondo's stopped arguing, Taka continues to push back against Makoto and Kyoko's accusations. It's a coincidence, that's not actually proof, anything to get them to stop, to save his brother, to save himself from the reality he's about to have to face. When sent into the BTB, it's Taka we fight in his despair, not Mondo. Until the very end, Taka won't acknowledge it. He can't. He can't bring himself to vote his Mondo a murderer, a killer. How could the man who gave him the chance no one else would, ever be so cruel? "I- I refuse to believe it... There's no way... no way he would kill someone! Why!? Why why why why why!? WHYYY!? Why did you do it!?"

He learns the truth of Mondo's story alongside the rest of the class, unable to process it all. It makes no sense. They were friends who trusted each other, who helped each other. And what about the man's promise? Doesn't that count for anything!? This doesn't sound right. This isn't Mondo, not his Mondo, not the man from the sauna. How could he have been so wrong about him?! It just can't be, but it is; the truth is but a slap to the face.

He was wrong. He stood by Chihiro's killer and defended him. He let his brother become the monster he saw himself as. He didn't stop it when he could have. He was blinded by his own beliefs, and as he watches Mondo's death, his spirit dies with him, the game cutting out all music as Taka screams, filling a deafening silence. "As Taka's sad screams invaded our skulls, we were each forced to realize once again..."

4.2- Kiyondo Ishida

Taka enters chapter 3 as a hollowed out shell of himself. He's gone near comatose, staring at nothing and saying nothing. He won't eat, won't speak, won't sleep, and although there are a couple weak attempts to get him back in action from Hiro("It's times like this where the committee chairman needs to get things going with a BANG!"), he's mostly left to grieve by himself, as the rest of cast is more concerned with the expanded school than the bossy guy they didn't like that much.

Monokuma even goes out of his way to torture Taka, to punish him for his grief, lying about the existence of a time machine just to fuck with his head and give him false hope, sending him further into despair- "Hmm... You sound disappointed. But actually, I was lying about the whole thing anyway. There's no such thing as time machines!" He's forced to become Monokuma's most successful project from the class, completely and utterly destroyed.

When he learns of Alter Ego, something in his head clicks. He can still talk to Chihiro. He can repent. He can apologize directly to him. So, with Makoto's help, he's brought to the laptop. His guilt finishes totally consuming him as he asks: "Do you... hate Mondo? And since I couldn't stop him... do you hate me?" His own self-hatred stemming from his failure is projected onto Alter Ego in one last attempt to come to terms with what's happened. The response he receives, unfortunately, is the culmination of all the toxic and unhealthy ideas of manhood the other boys carried with them via an attempted simulation of Mondo.

"You're not letting yourself get crushed under the weight of that responsibility, are you!? A man's only worth as much as the load he can carry! You get it, right bro!? Hell, what am I saying? Of course ya do!"

"So you're just gonna stand there, huh? Just wait for things to get better? Just take your time and get all depressed... Take the time to indulge your regrets... You might even start walking again without realizing it. Sure, that kind of mediocre thing might work for some people."

This speech, while attempting to inspire Taka to keep living for Chihiro's and Mondo's sakes, encapsulates the desperate need to be perceived as strong and untouchable that Mondo himself carried, and that Chihiro admired so much. It sinks its way into Taka, convincing him that the way to respond to his guilt is simple- pretend it isn't there! Mondo has clearly returned to him, and he's never letting him go ever again. He fully deludes himself, and he's fused with this idealized version of his bro. He permanently ties himself to Mondo's memory, and goes from the SHSL Public Morals Committee Member to something else entirely- Kiyondo Ishida, the unholy mixture of both men.

This revelation also leads him to an obsession with Alter Ego, viewing it as the vessel in which his bro was returned to him. He views it as another chance to protect his bro from ever being hurt again, as some divine second-chance he's been granted. All desire to be around the rest of his class is gone, replaced with this obsession. He's put at odds with Hifumi, who's also connected with the AI, and separates himself from the group that much more. When Alter Ego disappears, he can't handle it. He panics. He won't let his bro die, not again. And so he dooms himself, refusing to let go of the shadows of the past enough to see his own death looming before him, and he's killed in the early hours of the morning, led by desperation to his demise. And even so, the class can only worry about the semantics of when he died, barely mourning him.

5- Isolation (What's the point of this guy, anyway?)

Rather than learning from the mistakes both Chihiro and Mondo made by subscribing to the societal expectations of what makes a man, Taka ends up doubling down, burning away the optimism and more reasonable logic Taka used to have. Taka's story is that of a doomed fate to become the symbol of manhood and its self-destructing nature, leeching off of his first and only friend's unhealthy behaviors and sending him spiraling. And it's allowed to happen because of his social isolation.

From the very beginning of the game, Taka is singled out as annoying to be around. He's put in a negative light and viewed as unpleasant to spend time with. Every attempt to befriend or connect with a classmate is written off as a nuisance, a hindrance. Taka doesn't know how to make friends. He doesn't know how to do anything besides follow the rules and regulations he's been taught. He sticks to his regimen, because it's comfortable, and doesn't understand why others can't conform in the way that he does. He's very thoroughly isolated mentally and emotionally from his classmates at every turn, to the point where even in the very first trial he's standing with no one but the dead by his side(as Sayaka and "Junko" were positioned on either side of his podium).

All this is done with the deliberate intention to showcase his solitude, and more importantly, the loneliness that comes from it. It's to the point that when he finally does make a friend, he thoroughly idealizes him in his subconscious, coming to view him as some perfect person who'd even support him. It's inherently contradictory from his established beliefs going into the game, that a delinquent could be kind, but he accepts it wholeheartedly. He gets to know Mondo on some deeper level while in that sauna, and it's enough to rapidly develop a massive codependency on him. So when Mondo self-destructs and dies, so too does Taka.

Taka's purpose as a character is to suffer. He wraps himself in his moral beliefs, remaining steadfast in what he views as right and wrong, making judgement calls he's 100% sure of, and when they're challenged/disproven, he's thrown wholly out of whack. He exists to serve a purpose- what would've happened if Makoto didn't accept the truth about Sayaka? What happens when you let your idealism blind you to the truth? What happens when you blind yourself to the reality of the people around you, of the darkness in the people you care about? You self-destruct. He's tossed aside, killed as an accessory to the plot of someone who does nothing but manipulate the truth. He dies, and that's just it. His story is cut short; he doesn't get to heal or grow or come to terms with the truth. Such is the fate of the failed.

6- Afterword

...I didn't even touch his FTEs for this. Holy shit.

I'm gonna be honest, as much as I love Taka, I never expected this post would become as long as it did, or that I'd uncover such a dark fucking reason for why he gets as totally fucked over as he does. Don't get me wrong, I still really wish he'd lived and gotten to grow after this, but maybe his death was more well-written than I used to think. Good god.

[apomaro-mellow]

Wrong Number 3

(2:21 am) I just realized something (2:21 am) Ur a cooking teacher (2:22 am) Who can't fry a egg (2:23 am) You're a fraud 🫵

[7:29 am] I can fry an egg just fine I just can't make the yolks runny. It's too hard to time it right. And why are you up thinking about eggs at 2 am?

(7:47 am) I was up thinking about you at 2 am

Steve felt his stomach flip as he sipped his coffee and set his belongings down in his classroom. Eddie didn't play games. He always said exactly what he was thinking. And it drew Steve wild.

(7:48 am) And about how your students might clown on you for not being able to scramble an egg

[7:49] Aww you're worried about me?

(7:49 am) Kids can be little monsters (7:50 am) Actually how old are the little monsters you teach?

[7:51] Youngest is 6 and oldest is 14. Speaking of, they'll be arriving soon so...

(7:52 am) Godspeed you academic warrior

Eddie didn't typically text so late on weeknights. Not since learning Steve was a teacher. It was just that he truly HAD been up and thinking of him. Steve drove him crazy and he thought he was doing a good job keeping a lid on it. 2 am texts were what happened when the lid got loose but Steve didn't seem put off by it.

At about half past three, Steve called him. Eddie was glad he made that leap with his first call. The sound of Steve's voice never failed to warm him through. Eddie was in the middle of collecting axes for sharpening at the end of his shift.

"What's cookin' good lookin'?", Eddie greeted as he picked up.

"Today was good. Had a really riveting conversation about meatloaf versus pate with the kids", Steve said.

"Meatloaf rocks and pate is just cold meatloaf for rich people. End of discussion."

"Well, we talked about it for like fifteen minutes. Had a real interesting tangent on forcemeats in general."

Eddie paused. "Excuse me?"

"You'd be surprised at what kids are into. This one I taught last year was really into rice-"

"I need you to backtrack just a bit. 'Forcemeat'?"

"Yeah it's-oh grow up", Steve chided while shaking his head. He had just gotten home and was taking off his work clothes for something more comfortable. He thought about what Eddie might think he'd look nice in. "Not even my 12 year olds are this childish."

There was something about the way Steve talked about his students. Like they were his actual children. The conversation continued for a few minutes more before Steve suddenly had to hang up. Eddie tried not to think much of it, but it wasn't the first time that it had happened.

Steve ended the call just as Robin came into the apartment. She narrowed her eyes at him, then looked to the phone in his hand. Steve hid it behind his back and winced at practically telling on himself.

"You're hiding something."

"No I'm not."

"And now you're lying to me."

"No I'm not!"

Robin pounced and wrestled him for the phone. It wasn't a real fight of course. Steve could've pinned her in seconds but a part of him was tired of keeping the secret. And obviously, she knew how to unlock his phone.

"Who's Eddie?", she asked, sitting on his back triumphantly.

"A guy."

"Thank you, I had no idea it could be a man's name. You've been texting him aaaaaaa llllllllllllot."

"Are you reading them!? Robin!"

"Where did you meet him?", Robin said as she got up, continuing to read through their conversations.

"I um, technically, haven't. Yet."

Robin gave him an odd look and Steve spilled everything to her. To her credit, Robin listened to the full story before throwing one of the couch pillows at him.

"Stephen Elliott Harrington! Did no one teach you stranger danger? You just kept texting him? And calling? And I saw the pictures you sent. You know he can find out where we live? What if I came home to your skinless corpse??!"

It went on for a while like that and when Robin was finished, she collapsed onto the couch. Steve sat across from her on the coffee table. He waited for her to silently process it all.

"You think he's cute?"

"What I've seen of him, yeah."

Robin sighed. "I can't believe you're turning into the guy who has a internet girlfriend."

Steve rolled his eyes but then balked when she started to read through his messages again.

"And I can't believe you haven't even started flirting yet."

"I've been flirting with him the whole time!" Maybe not the whole time but-

"You're giving him Diet Steve. Why are you holding back?"

Steve shrugged, looking sheepish now. Now Robin was rolling her eyes.

"Steve, we're getting you a date."

"But he's-"

"A virtual one. Jesus is he an axe murderer?", Robin said as she looked to one of the texts.

"No, he just works with them. Axes! Not murderers."

--------------------------------

Eddie was about to sit down to a movie when his phone buzzed.

[5:17 pm] Thinking about you.

Oh. Now that was some text to get.

(5:18 pm) Oh yeah? (5:18 pm) What about me?

Steve looked to Robin. They were sitting cross-legged next to each other on his bed.

"What do I say?"

"Be honest, duh."

"If I'm honest I'm gonna talk about his hands."

Robin shook her hands at him like she wanted to wring his neck. Steve got the idea and decided to put himself out there.

[5:21 pm] Your hands. I think about them a lot actually

Eddie had not given his own hands much thought. But knowing that Steve admired them, he gave them a second look. He thought about them gripping Steve's thighs.

(5:23) You're gonna make me blush (5:24) What would you do with my hands Stevie?

Steve panicked and looked to Robin. "Are we sexting? Is he getting me to sext?"

"That's the idea, dingus. I said I was getting you a date. Now tell him what you want him to do."

"I don't know I'd....I'd want to..." Steve trailed off, looking at his phone while the fingers of his other hand brushed against his lips.

Robin stole the phone from him again and started typing. "'First...I'd suck..on them'."

"Robin!"

"Is that not what you want?"

Steve shrugged and Robin continued. "You've got me on the clock for five more minutes before I go out. You dictate, I'll type."

Steve hated how much he liked the idea. Especially when he heard the ping of Eddie's reply. "What did he say?"

Robin cleared her throat. "'Yeah? You wanna suck on them? I bet you got a beautiful mouth.' Oh he's good."

"Yeah", Steve breathed out. "Really good." He thought about Eddie sticking his fingers in and pressing down on his tongue, his rings tasting metallic and so nice.

"'I wanna choke on them'", Robin said out loud as she typed. "Is it too soon to call him Daddy?"

"What?!" That snapped Steve out of it.

"Oh come on. Tattoos, the hair, his job. He wants to be called Daddy."

"Robin don't call him Daddy."

"Pops?"

Steve took his phone from her and looked to Eddie's reply.

(5:30 pm) I'd only choke you if you were being bad (5:30 pm) Are you gonna be bad baby?

[5:31 pm] Maybe. I can be good too. So good.

(5:32 pm) Lemme call you baby wanna hear you

Steve dialed without hesitation just as Robin was leaving. Her work was done.

"Don't get murdered while I'm out!", she shouted just as Eddie picked up.

"Hey pretty baby", Eddie said.

"Hey. You said you wanted to hear me?"

"Yeah. I wanna hear you say those things with your own voice."

"Like how I wanna choke on your fingers? Among other things?"

Steve could hear Eddie let out a breath on the other end. The power he felt right now was intoxicating.

"Bet you'd look so good on your knees."

Steve hummed while pressing his fingertips to his lips. If Eddie asked, he'd suck on them. Let the wet noises fill his ears, let Eddie know how good he could be.

"Darlin' you went quiet."

"I'm thinking", Steve said, laying down on his bed. "I wanna show you, Eddie."

Eddie swallowed. This man would be the death of him. He'd nearly jerked off to just a picture of his fully clothed lower half. If he saw more...if he saw everything-

"Eddie! We've got a Code Red!"

"Jesus! Knock!"

Steve sat up quick at the shouting coming from Eddie's end. It sounded like someone had barged in.

"Eddie?"

"Sorry. Sorry Steve. I gotta handle something. Um, call you back? Please?"

"Eddie, I want to video call you."

"V..video...?"

"Yes. I wanna see you. Please."

"Yes. Yes, a thousand times-hold your horses! Uh, tomorrow? It's Saturday, so you're free, right? Can we make it a date?"

"A date", Steve nodded. "I'll see you then. I'll be thinking of you."

"And I'll be counting the seconds. 1-one thousand, 2-one thousand, 3-one th-ouch! Okay! Damn!"

Eddie hung up and Steve still had the phone to his ear, smiling. He had a video call date. He had a date with Eddie!

Shit what should he wear?

Part 5

Tag Team (CLOSED)

@anne-bennett-cosplayer @estrellami-1 @newtstabber @omletlove @ifyoudonlysurrender @rehfan @morganski-19 @corvidcantina @dragonmama76 @just-ladyme @tinyplanet95 @goodolefashionedloverboi @idoquitelikebread @kittydeadbones @manda-panda-monium @rhapsodyinalto @paintsplatteredandimperfect @keylime-green @ihavekidneys @samsoble @honorarybrit81 @swimmingbirdrunningrock @aizawa-emma @deleataecount @thesuninyaface @fromapayphone @justmeinadaze @hbyrde36 @queenie-ofthe-void @resident-gay-bitch @bestwifehaver @dangdirtydemons @ellietheasexylibrarian @perseus-notjackson @pyrohonk @holysteddie @cinnamon-mushroomabomination @mrsjellymunson @geekymagicalpotato @notaqueenakhaleesi

[aroaceleovaldez]

what do you mean by fandom infrastructure?

Oh goody I get to rant about this. Definitely gonna need a read more for this one. There's gonna be a lot of general fandom thoughts here so I'll put a big title for when I get to the actual list and pjo-specific stuff for if anybody wants to skip. Okay, my anthropological fandom thoughts:

"Fandom infrastructure" isn't official terminology by any means, but as someone who's been in a wide variety of fandoms for like 15+ years and in varying stages of participating within said fandoms, I generally use it to describe the sort of environment created by a fandom that supports and sustains the ecosystem within it (and may also extend to what kinds of attitudes are fostered within the community). This obviously looks different for every fandom (and different per platform), but I think it's really valuable to break down what systems exist in different fan spaces and how those impact the community that utilizes it, and take lessons from different spaces about what those systems do and how they're effective or not.

General forms of fandom infrastructures have shifted over time - a lot of more recent formats, at least in western fandom, tend to be very reliant on source material and you rarely see a lot of sort of classic archetypes of "old fandom" like concepts such as "big name fans" (I partially blame social media platform drifts for this - I'll touch back on that later*). A fandom with more consistent infrastructure over time (plus just a general favorite fandom case study of mine) and just a general good example of fandom infrastructure is the Furry fandom. It's a bit of an outlier to begin with as Furry fandom doesn't have an actual source material, which means it's an entirely self-perpetuating fandom, and as a result you get some really interesting community structure! (I highly recommend the documentary The Fandom for a dive into the history of the Furry fandom and even some adjacent fandoms!) One of the number one things I always like to note with the Furry fandom particularly compared to other fandoms is it's a very easy fandom to join/integrate yourself into and become a part of the community - it's one of the few fandoms that has generally agreed upon written etiquette/guidelines for behavior in the community that is very easy to find (early 2020s MCYT fandom had a little bit of this as well, but most guides were specific to individual MCYTs rather than the community as a whole and difficult to track down) and a ton of guides explaining what the community is and ways you can begin exploring it. Not to mention the absolute plethora of resources available in the community for just about anything you could think of, and tons of community-dedicated spaces where people can get involved in various ways. The furries are a very well-organized fandom in general! They're also an older and very well-established fandom, so there is much to learn from them.

I like to consider fandoms that have good infrastructure to be fandoms where the fandom is self-reliant or self-perpetuating (not fully dependent to a source material - so the fandom doesn't experience total dry spells when there's no new official media.) and one that's easy to join and integrate into.

Tangent: I have this whole personal concept about "entry-level fandoms" particularly when it comes to the cosplay community. A lot of those fandoms tend to be the ones labeled as "toxic" but when you break it down it's actually that the fandom is just very easily accessible and for a lot of folks that is their first fandom and they haven't learned general fandom etiquette yet. For cosplay, entry level fandoms tend to be relatively mainstream or otherwise easy to access the source material for and then also easy to cosplay while also offering ample room to grow (doubly easily accessible while also not limiting) - usually that the main cast of characters have very casual every-day outfits that can be easily made with a closet cosplay (cosplaying using clothes from your closet or otherwise "normal" clothes) (low barrier to entry) plus more elaborate and evolved outfits for when new fans get comfortable enough to begin exploring further (niches to grow into). Also bonus points if people are able to use their natural hair at all because that makes it even easier. Another aspect that tends to be helpful is how much one actually needs to get into the source material to begin interacting with the community - if you can get the general gist/premise of the franchise pretty quickly and not have to actually engage with the entirety of the source material, that's way more likely to be an entry-level fandom (like, One Piece for example is not likely to be an entry-level fandom, lol). Homestuck is (or more was) an easily accessible webcomic, and despite it's length for the majority of it's run it was actively updating so there was no expectation to be completely caught up, plus it was extremely common to just fully skip over entire segments. Cosplay progression: human characters in basic outfits > trolls > god tiers/etc. My Hero Academia is a mainstream readily accessible manga and anime, particularly to western audiences, and the general premise throughout the series remains relatively close to the pitch from the beginning, alongside not shifting core characters too much. Cosplay progression: civilian outfits > hero costumes and more complex characters. Percy Jackson actually very much fits the bill for this as well - its a VERY popular book franchise to the point where most people have probably had to read it for school at some point, but also it's generally not expected you'll read past Blood of Olympus or any of the side series, if you even read past the first series (and you won't be super lost if you even don't read far past the first book). Cosplay progression: camp t-shirts > adding armor, props, or maybe trying to make goat legs or etc. A more recent and very interesting newcomer to the entry-level fandoms scene is Genshin Impact because it somewhat breaks the format - it's still easily accessible (free to play game) but the character outfits are all incredibly complex. But as cosplay becomes more mainstream and just in general as manufacturing techniques improve, it's suddenly become very easy and affordable to just buy a decent looking cosplay, which is very appealing particularly for a fandom like Genshin. You can have a very nice and complex looking first cosplay with little effort, similar to the effectiveness of closet cosplays in the other examples. As varying techniques improve, the barrier to entry becomes lower in more communities, and there are more opportunities for a wider variety of entry-level fandoms. Okay tangent over -

There's a lot of ways fandoms can be self-perpetuating, but some of the most self-perpetuating fandoms I see are ones that either have a lot of room for original characters, concepts, and similar (see: TTRPG fandoms) and/or fandoms that are heavily divorced from the source material (often due to the source material being widely deemed "meh at best" but having compelling base concepts) (see: Miraculous Ladybug) which is where you often see a lot of AUs - Warrior Cats fandom is a good example of both! I have not kept up with Warrior Cats in ages, but I'm still in the fandom. I have no idea what book they're on. If Warriors stopped publishing books tomorrow I genuinely don't think the fandom would even notice. They've been doing their own thing for ages. There's a ton of room for creating your own characters, storylines, and etc within the worldbuilding of the franchise where it never stops being identifiable as Warrior Cats, which means the fandom can basically do their own thing eternally without ever cutting off newcomers to the community.

The majority of this stems just from being able to not rely on the source material to drive the fandom. If the community inspires itself, then it's able to continue to sustain itself without outside reliance. But to do so indefinitely it will eventually need new fans. And this brings me to the whole "easy to join/integrate into the community thing" -

*It's later - Tumblr used to be a huge fandom hub in general, but the content bans around 2018 led to a giant migration of communities to other platforms. That 2016-2018 era is when we see a shift in fandom in general, with fandom attitudes shifting from old-era concepts like ship-and-let-ship, YKINMKATO/Kinktomato, use of "squick," etc (in general a major loss of old fandom linguistics and terminology - nobody even says OTP anymore!). There's a couple of reasons for this sort of multi-fandom cultural drift, but in general it seemed to widely be the combo of a new generation of younger fans entering their first fandoms all at once while simultaneously being cut off from learning established pan-fandom culture. Newer fans never learn about the old community, how it functioned, or how to upkeep it, and now the fandom is fully reliant on the source material and fizzles out almost completely in the absence of new official media. (Also I think somewhat the lack of BNFs/Big Name Fans can also contribute to this, as they are often the people new fans will look up to and emulate the behavior of when learning how to interact with a fandom - this can be good or bad, depending on the BNF! - alongside being able to learn about the community's history through them, since they're almost always older and well-established members of the community. In the absence of BNFs, the community often turns more towards the source material/creators and it can get Bad™.)

Tumblr as a platform, due to being a blogging and sharing platform, is inherently structured for long-form discussion, long-form text, documentation, and sharing concepts and ideas in nuanced ways. Also preservation - there's no time limit for when posts disappear, and there's no algorithms restricting you to only the newest posts. Tumblr's features even make it really easy to go back and find old posts, even despite the semi-broken search features. Tumblr creates environments where these types of communities absolutely blossom. There's a reason why it was the go-to platform for fandom stuff. Instagram is image-focused, actively discourages text, has a mediocre search, and no proper means of sharing except awkward reposting most of the time. Tiktok is even worse, being short-form video-centric (so even more difficult to repost in absence of sharing features) but otherwise similar (and even less text-friendly and more difficult to search, especially for older posts). Twitter has strict text and image limitations, heavily limited sharing options, and any attempts at threads get messy extremely quickly, so nuance is dead there. Reddit has long form text capabilities but no real sharing features and next to zero longevity. Facebook and Discord are locked behind requiring an account to even view it (instagram as well, to a point). And Youtube is right out (generally it acts as supplementary to other social media). Theoretically you could try to use Ao3 for that, but it's an archive, not a discussion board or social media - at best you'd probably just be going back and forth like scientific journalists which will not be easy for most people to follow. As far as mainstream western social media goes, Tumblr is the best place for "classic fandom" so-to-speak. There's a reason a lot of very established fandoms have built their own dedicated spaces - forums, art sites, etc (usually in combination) - the more splintered your community is, the less of a community it is. It's very difficult to build a community when you never know where the majority of your community is going to be at any given point! In most cases you'll still have the source material, but how is a new fan supposed to know if everybody's on twitter or instagram or tiktok at any given time? That uncertainty immediately cuts off new fans. And you need new fans to perpetuate a fandom (or in general, new people to perpetuate a community). Not every community is capable of having dedicated hosted forum boards and such (though GOD i wish,,,, i miss forum boards,,,, forum boards are awesome,,). Maybe there's a Discord, but discords are difficult to find, easily overwhelming if large, and often intimidating for new folks to join. Not to mention difficult to moderate and if they're busy then it's basically guaranteed most people are just going to get drowned out.

ALL THIS TO SAY: For a true fandom community to exist, essentially, it needs to a.) not be entirely reliant on the source material (instead being driven by activity within the community), and b.) have a cycle of new fans that can come into the community and take up the mantle of upkeeping that infrastructure and continuing the activity within the community, usually with low barrier to entry. This is where that fandom infrastructure becomes important, because that's exactly what supports and encourages that activity in the first place.

To begin with, you must have a community acceptance for deviating from the canon/source material. This is normal and fine and okay. This is what fandom is known for. This is exactly why we have the terms "fanon" (concepts largely agreed upon by the fandom but not officially canon) and "headcanon" (the canon that exists in your head/is personal to you) and AU (alternate universe)! You have to help foster this - you don't have to actively engage with every canon deviation you see, but respect when it is other people's prerogative to deviate from canon and don't shut them down just inherently for "daring to disrespect the sacred canon" or whatever. Remember the ancient fandom proverbs: don't like-don't read, YKINMKATO/Kinktomato ("Your kink is not my kink and that's okay"), ship-and-let-ship, etc. Cringe culture is dead, engage in some whimsy, and remember that ultimately you always are the one to curate your own online experience. Etc etc.

The other major thing is you need to foster spaces where new fans can easily enter and begin engaging with the community. These spaces are extremely important in fandom communities because it's what allows fans who are completely new to fandom to comfortably begin partaking in fandom at a level appropriate for them and without pressure. It's in these spaces that those whose who wish to can begin fostering skills that then leads them to engage with the fandom in larger and more complex ways, growing into different niches within the community and thus allowing the fandom to continue. (I have a whole little essay about this topic [here] which is extremely relevant to my major points here.)

"Alright so where's the PJO-specific stuff and actual examples?"

I'm glad you asked, theoretical reader. So, to answer the beginning question - what is some fandom infrastructure I've seen in other communities (and/or Riordanverse fandom, back when we had that kind of stuff)? These are generally types of blog or other niches that prompt activity, discussion, and other forms of interaction within the community. I have comprised many examples though forgive me if my organization is messy because these are somewhat difficult to categorize concisely: (Also if you do know of examples in the riordanverse fandom of any of my examples, like specific blogs or etc, feel free to comment them!)

- General community hubs and community spaces. I have these as two slightly different but adjacent categories since I think these things generally fall into one of two categories - spaces meant for general chatting and interacting with other fans (community spaces) and spaces more meant to find specific topics (hubs).

Things like forums, discord servers, group chats, etc - these exist in the PJO community but are far and few between and difficult to find. If you run one I highly recommend putting a link in your tumblr sidebar (enable custom theme > edit theme > new page [bottom of sidebar on the left] > there should be a little dropdown menu where it says "standard layout" - select "link" and plug in a discord invite set to never expire. there ya go). A couple I know of include my own (one for general riordanverse and one for my askblog), the Titan Army discord, these two, Riordanverse artists server, Nicercy (Percico) events, Jasico challenges, and Above The Clouds (also jasico). There used to be a big general PJO server but it's mostly inactive now (I affectionately refer to it as functionally a knitting circle these days, cause that's most of what's discussed there now, lol). There also used to be a well-known TOA-specific one and a general Riordanverse cosplay discord but both had problems and I'm not sure either still exist. I've heard there may also be a Percabeth server floating around somewhere? But I've never seen it.

"Hubs" is what I label things like blogs surrounding specific designated topics, usually consolidating stuff like general fanworks, specific fanfiction, fanworks of specific characters/groupings/ships, etc. I believe there might be one or two general riordanverse fanart blogs floating around. I'm not sure about blogs for specific fanfiction. A lot of ship-specific blogs went inactive by like 2017 but a couple are still alive like @solangelo. (I'll get into some other examples in a similar vein to this later*) We don't have a designated blog for keeping tabs on whenever there's a Riordanverse fanzine or similar project but some fandoms do (I would love this btw and i am almost tempted to do it myself) - an old pan-fandom one was fanzinewatch. I run a blog dedicated just to reblogging fanart (and occasionally other fanwork) of Hazel and Nico - @deathsibs. I don't know of any individual character-specific blogs off the top of my head unfortunately. Etc etc.

In general the purpose of these things is to help connect the community and make it easier to find and promote things or meet people. These are good places to ask questions, particularly directions or recommendations. That brings me to another one-

- Ask/Tag games and memes. Back in ye olde tumblr days there used to be TONS of fandom-specific inbox and tag games, or people would do milestone promos or etc and do these massive blog recommendations or literally just list everyone they follow or similar. This was a really useful way for people to find more blogs for specific topics and engage with each other in general. Here's an old one I found as an example. My friend has a nice tag with a bunch of old ask memes as well, and Hermitcraft-ask-games is a great example of a blog categorizing fandom-specific ones (Hermitcraft/adjacent MCYT in this case). Tag games can refer to both posts where you respond to the prompt in the tags while reblogging or a game where you tag other people - the latter has mostly fallen out of favor cause it can get very spammy and posts can get very long with it. Less spammy versions tend to be something more akin to an ask game or a follow forever, where you are responding to a specific question or prompt by tagging blogs that fit that, usually as a recommendation. It's a little nicer and more favored because then you're promo'ing other folks and usually it's not a long chain of reblogs, plus the posts tend to have dedicated formats so they aren't super messy.

- In another similar vein, Art games/memes. PJO fandom doesn't have a lot of these! These are your "Draw 6 Characters," "Character color wheel," etc prompts. The fandom I see this the most in is MCYT fandom, particularly Hermitcraft/Trafficblr! There's a ton of little variant prompts I see all the time there (not just for fanart! also fanfic and etc!) - Characters in your style, Fanon species swap, color palette swap, etc etc. (I am totally going to try and make one of these for riordanverse, give me a bit, lol)

- Prompt weeks/months. Also similar - prompt weeks/months/etc are pretty self-explanatory. They're events that give you a set of prompts to create/post fanwork themed to over that time period. PJO fandom used to have plenty of these, though I only see a couple floating around these days. I know Jasico Week/Jasico Challenges and Solangelo Week are still alive, and TA week happened recently. Fun fact, in some smaller/largely inactive fandoms I've actually seen prompt weeks DM active people in the community to tell them the prompt week is happening which I actually really like. In circumstances like that where a fandom is so small, scattered and inactive, it's a good means to get the word out.

- Headcanon/ship/"Imagines" blogs *It's later (again)! Headcanon blogs used to be EXTREMELY common back in ye olde days of fandom. Some of the most popular iterations tended to be ship-specific headcanon blogs. PJO fandom had A TON of these (and many are still up! They just haven't posted since like 2017 at the lastest. Quite the trip down memory lane though). They were generally formatted by people submitting their headcanons/"imagines" anonymously, which would then be formatted into an image to match the blog's general format (sometimes themed to specific characters or subjects, depending on the submission itself) and posted. A good example from PJO fandom I stumbled across the other day while looking at old askblogs is Percicoheadcanons. Absolute classic format right there. Also bonus time capsule points - the most recent post is from before Blood of Olympus was published. That's just particularly amusing to me given the ship in question here.

- Shortform Headcanons / Short Memes & Shitposts Helyeahmangocheese reminded me of this one in my previous post - shortform headcanons are essentially any headcanon thrown out into the world in a short format. So you're "headcanon that [x]" or whatever with no elaboration. Just quick little snappy things off the top of your head that people can pick up and run with. Sometimes there would be blogs dedicated to these, with people submitting them in blog formats like the above, and then shortform headcanons to be posted in that format. Short memes & shitposts are the exact same type of thing - just short little silly textposts and similar cracking jokes that the fandom can take and run with. Both of these are more important to the fandom than you'd think - a.) they have a very low barrier to entry, which means they're a great way for new fans to begin engaging with the larger community. b.) they circulate new ideas for other fans to build off of, creating collaborative concepts. These collaborations help build the community with giving opportunities for people to chat/inspire each other's work and can create iconic fandom moments or community references/in-jokes. And old one from PJO fandom that floated around was somebody threw out the concept of Will Solace's weapon being a lasso/whip (because cowboys/he's Texan/etc) made of light, which then got illustrated and elaborated on by many other fans such as Cherryandsisters and was very popular fanon for a time.

- Confessions Blogs These ones can be decisive in fandoms, depending on how they're run. Confession blogs in general are blogs where people anonymously submit fandom thoughts, opinions, etc (formatted similarly to HC/imagines blogs like above). There's also usually a decent amount of funny confessions like initial misunderstandings or confusion about things. Most well-run ones of these will have rules against negativity towards other fans and similar. When done properly these blogs can be a nice way for the community to have discussions about topics that they may be afraid to broach publicly, and easily can generate community in-jokes.

- Positivity blogs / Fandom voting Somewhat opposite to (at least, more negative) confession blogs, fandom positivity blogs are a very sweet way to spread compliments around the community. Sometimes they're anonymous, sometimes not. Generally though the format is people can submit compliments or kind notes to other people in the community and it'll get posted tagging the individual in question. Trafficblrpositivityproject is an MCYT example of this concept. Fandom Voting is a little bit more odd and varies a lot between communities. An old one PJO fandom used to do was PJO Prom, where people could nominate blogs for different categories, they would either accept or deny their nominations, and then folks would vote for their top favorite blogs of each category and winners would be announced (though the event also included more than just that - like blogs asking each other to prom and etc). In other fandoms I've also seen elections where various members of the community would jokingly campaign for election (including choosing other members of their campaign), people would vote for a winner, and then do it all over again. Fandom elections tend to be a lot more chaotic and silly, versus stuff like fandom prom voting is more geared towards just appreciation towards members of the community.

- Fandom Events / Community Projects Related to PJO Prom, (and prompt weeks/months) general fandom proms or valentine's events used to be pretty popular, especially amongst RP and askblogs. These weren't always strictly organized, but they generally involved asking other blogs to prom/to be valentines and then people would draw cute prom/holiday art or similar to celebrate. Some blogs would send out valentines to multiple blogs just as a nice cute lil treat in a similar vein to how some blogs still do trick-or-treating events. Trick-or-treating events have been a thing for awhile, generally following that same structure, but it's become significantly more popular in general now that tumblr has image embeds possible in asks rather than having to submit a post. Other fandom events can include fandom elections like mentioned before, or any number of things really, but the majority of regular ones will include gift/fanwork exchanges in some form. Secret Santa projects are very common (and PJO did have them! There isn't one singular PJO Secret Santa blog since it seems different folks did different years so I can't link it, but I participated in 2016 iirc. It looks like the most recent one was in 2021 - pjosecretsanta2021). I did find Rrversesummerbang as a recently active one as well. Zines and similarly collaborative projects are also common - PJO fandom does occasionally have zines but they aren't very frequent and generally don't get a ton of traction (which is very sad cause zines are very fun - most of it seems to be just the fandom doesn't have good ways of getting word out about events through the community). We've also had a couple of coloring book projects! I participated in the 2016 one and there was another in 2022. Some other fandom and pan-fandom examples of similar stuff is Mcytrecursive (Gift exchange for fic-of-fic, in this case MCYT-specific), Fic in a box, Mcytblraufest (AU fest), general holiday exchanges, etc. (A lot of my examples are MCYT cause man that fandom is active). There are a lot of pan-fandom ones of these, but usually involvement of specific fandoms is entirely dependent on sign-ups and it can be difficult to know or guarantee any specific communities participating. Fandom-specific ones are generally more well-known in their own communities for obvious reasons. In other projects, Riordanverse fandom even once had a Multi-Animator Project! These are more common in fandoms like Warrior Cats that are very artist and animator-centric, but the fact that we have at least one major one at all is pretty cool! Collaborate games in similar veins to big events/projects like this (see stuff like the art meme/games) can also be great ways to get the community active and engaged. Voting/poll stuff like character or ship brackets can be really interesting too and depending on how it goes down can become an EXTREMELY major event in the community (see: MCYT Tumblr Sexyman bracket). Very fun times.

- Incorrect Quotes / Text Post Memes / Chat Posts Rolling back to headcanon/imagines blogs, incorrect quotes for specific ships/character groupings used to be extremely common. And not even just dedicated blogs, but incorrect quotes/chat posts were pretty much the number one thing the average fan who didn't create fanart/fanfic/etc would post. I was actually quite surprised to see that Incorrectpercicoquotes is still alive. They post more than just incorrect quote/chat posts (not uncommon for blogs of those nature, especially back in the day), but still it feels like seeing a thought-to-be-extinct-species in the wild eating a bag of chips. Anyways, like shortform headcanons and memes/shitposts (of which these are somewhat a subcategory of), these are another low barrier to entry type of fandom engagement, which means they're great for new members of the community.

- Askblogs MY FAVORITE TOPIC. I have a list of PJO askblogs on my sidebar actually cause I'm very passionate about them and askblogs in general. For what an askblog is, my blog @askblog-index goes over that and also I answered some questions about askblogs recently, which you can find in my askblogs tag (also I'm always open to answering questions about askblogs please ask me about askblogs I love them so much). There's so many different varieties too - text, illustrated, cosplay, voice acting, combination, etc etc etc. Askblogs are a really fun means for collaborative storytelling in the community, especially with how much they tend to generate headcanons or put characters in silly little scenarios. Cherryandsister's Will Solace askblog is practically personally responsible for a solid 50% of all Will fanon. Photokinesis!Will was entirely popularized there. They're also a really great place for people in the community to build up their skills - yknow those jokes about "the best way to improve your art is to become obsessed with something and draw it one billion times?" yeah askblogs are that. My art improved so much by starting an askblog because it pushes you to draw things you might avoid normally or wouldn't expect to draw - or if it's not an art askblog, is just plain good practice for writing or voice acting or whatever. It's a regular outlet where you can build up your skills with not a lot of pressure but also outside encouragement and concepts to build off of. Character or fandom-specific daily art blogs and similar request art blogs are similarly also very useful to building up skills (and can be applied to other artforms like fic writing!) (Request blogs are not the same as askblogs though please dont send random art requests to askblogs just gotta put that disclaimer). I also personally consider them extremely vital to fandom ecosystems, though often overlooked - remember those old "ask the seven" posts that would be the terribly colored text in random fonts on a white or poorly-chosen-color background that'd just be random stuff and it'd get reposted absolutely everywhere? For a lot of people that's both some of the first stuff in a fandom that they might make, and also some of the first stuff people used to see in fandoms in general. With my whole silly theory of fandom ecological niches, those types of posts are your base of the pyramid, because it's where most fans are going to start out. It gives them a low-stakes place to begin engaging with the community and figure themselves out and begin exploring the characters and media on a deeper level. That's what fandom is all about! It's what separates fandom from just the general audience of any particular thing. Those types of posts were popular because they're just easy to make! All you need is mspaint, if even! They get across their concepts quickly and easily in an easily sharable format - that's exactly why they got reposted absolutely everywhere! The concept of those posts (and general character chat posts/incorrect quotes) still exist in other spaces in fandom communities, but in different formats - usually tiktoks, being spoken and acted out loud. The problem with that format though is it can't go anywhere - even in shortform video format there's no way to easily condense it down (and also they have a higher barrier to entry, as the format at it's simplest usually requires some aspect of showing your face/using your voice. This means you inherently have to sacrifice some amount of privacy to engage with the format, which isnt friendly to new/younger fans). Meanwhile these ask-the-seven posts are one jpeg that gets across the entire concept. And we've evolved! We have better technology! We can pick better colors and fonts and add image descriptions! We can bring the format back!

- Cosplay This one is pretty self-explanatory - just. Cosplays are a type of fanwork too! PJO cosplay used to be pretty common on tumblr actually! Particularly there used to be a decent number of cosplay askblogs (which are just askblogs where instead of responding to questions with text or a drawing, asks are answered with either a gif or image of the mun/mod in cosplay reacting in-character). Cosplay is cool! And in PJO fandom it's particularly easy!

- Roleplaying Spaces PJO fandom does have a pretty active tumblr RP scene as far as I've been able to tell, which is good! Also you can find people who want to RP pjo just about anywhere. It's just somewhat of a matter of giving them a space to do so. I talked about how to get into roleplaying recently on my blog as well. RP is also one of the forms of fandom infrastructure in this list that transfers well to other social media platforms, in large part due to social media RP making it a whole lot easier. The fandom is mostly just severely lacking in hubs to locate RPs and help people find ways to begin engaging with them.

- Public AUs / OCs Public AUs/OCs are a bit of a weird one to describe - they're basically any AU/OC that the creators (if there is a singular known creator of it) have given total free reign to people with. More often it's an AU that doesn't have a particular known creator but the fandom likes to run around with and do a lot with. In PJO fandom, the ye olde fandom OC was Peter Johnson, a son of Demeter. The AU generally was about how Peter Johnson was a new camper and Mr. D's favorite camper, and just generally a sweet lil guy while Mr. D proceeds to torment Percy because of the name jokes. A series of public AUs that's completely unique to PJO is Godswap aus - there's no one singular set godswap au, but the two most common swaps tended to be Demeter!Percy (in part due to Peter Johnson) and Aphrodite!Nico (admittedly this one was like 90% gay stereotypes/homophobic tropes and there's a reason why the fandom kind of dropped it. It was absolutely the most popular godswap for a time though, and some of the concepts from it have bled into general Nico fanon for better or worse). General pirate aus have also always been very popular in the fandom - there were some old ones back in the day, including local BNF (Big Name Fan) Saberghatz having at least one, maybe like two or three, including a cosplay. Pirate!Nico in particular was very popular. There was actually a slight resurgence of PJO pirate AUs on pjo cosplay tiktok in like 2020 or so I wanna say. Truly we came full-circle there. There's also just general popular AUs that fandoms like to run with. For awhile PJO fandom had a HTTYD au they really loved. The current fandom favorite AU seems to be Velinxi's Young Gods/Hades Game AU.

- Fangames This one might sound odd because Riordanverse fandom doesn't really have this, but fangames can be REALLY fun and cool. Fangames also often spark mini-fandoms in themselves and are just really awesome in general. There's a lot of different varieties of vastly varying complexities, but a lot of it is pretty much just "I made a game, it's about [fandom], here ya go." Some good examples from other communities off the top of my head are games like ClanGen or Untold Tales for Warrior Cats, or Featherbent from the Homestuck fandom which was a visual novel / AU fanfic. Btw, visual novels are actually not all that difficult to create. If you're interested in trying to make one I highly recommend checking out Ren'Py - it's basically a program to make visual novels with.

- Other project types / General Collaboration Related to community events, particularly Multi-Animator Projects (MAPs), AMVs/PMVs/Lyricstucks ("animated music videos" and "picture music videos" - lyricstucks are the same as the latter but usually in a scrolling tumblr post format with the song linked at the beginning rather than video format) are very cool and can be both individual or collaborative projects (in Riordanverse fandom most are probably very familiar with Viria's old lyricstucks - Nothing Left To Say and How Far We've Come). Some folks do dubs of fancomics (also used to be a thing in PJO fandom, particularly back when the PjoVoices group was active and the brief stint in the fandom when we had some Voice Acting askblogs) which can be a nice way to collaborate and engage with other fans in different mediums. "Aesthetics"/Moodboards (usually an arrangement of either 2x3 [former] or 3x3 [latter] grids of images) and the more recent "webweaves" also are a great low barrier to entry type of fanwork that has a lot of variety and versatility (just make sure to credit art/photos used) - especially if you make moodboards/webweaves inspired by people's AUs/fics/etc!

- Gifset Makers / Editors In Riordanverse fandom we don't see this often, because we're primarily a book fandom, but back in the days of the movies and more recently now with the show, editors and gifset makers are a very cool niche of fanwork creators. Gifset makers is pretty self-explanatory - they're people who make gifs. Editors can range from people who make edits of clips or put together clips of images or a whole bunch of very different things. Very wide range there. Edits (with credit to the original artists) can be a really fun alternative to AMVs/PMVs/etc if you don't draw but you have a concept (CREDIT THE ARTISTS - trust me, having your art used in an edit can feel super cool but ONLY IF IT'S CREDITED. IF IT'S NOT CREDITED IT'S NOT FUN. if you ask and credit people will probably be happy about it!). Edit blogs can also be very fun and are often a big hit in fandoms - "Where is [x]" and "[character] in places" are classics. Again just remember to credit artists appropriately and ask permission to use their work.

- Fanwork Promotion Blogs/Hubs PJO fandom does have a couple of these still floating around I think! I don't know them off the top of my head but I swear i've seen them recently. Regardless - these are any sorts of blogs that promote other fanworks. Maybe it's dedicated to just general fanart, general fanfic, stuff of a specific AU or concept. Going back to previous bullet points, character or ship-specific blogs are a form of these. They can range from elaborate and complex with how they promote or spotlight and recommend works, to just literally being random reblogs of stuff of a specific topic. These can actually also be a really nice if you're looking for a simple way to get more involved in the community, because chances are if you're on tumblr you know how to reblog things and that's about all it takes. These hubs can be really nice ways for more fans in the community to get spotlighted/recognition and become more well-known, and it also helps fans looking for specific types of fanwork. (The only caveat with these is if you are going to make a generalized hub blog, you have to actually make it generalized. You can't just exclude the things you personally don't like just because you don't like them - if you don't want to deal with that, make a more specialized hub blog for your more focused interests instead.) (Also personally I'd recommend if you're making one of these types of blogs that you're an adult, cause these blogs can require fandom tag-spelunking that may not be appropriate for all ages - ESPECIALLY if you run a fanfic hub.)

- General Resources This can look like a lot of things, particularly depending on what the fandom is about, but in general a lot of fandoms will have dedicated places to finding different types of information, and often important fandom terminology and sometimes fandom history. Fan Wikis may cover some of this, but not always (and depending on how the wiki(s) are run in a particular community, may not even have reliable information to begin with. I'm looking at you Riordanverse wiki). In furry fandom for example there's a ton of resources for how to get started in the community, commonly accepted community guidelines and general etiquette, fandom history and terminology, resources to find fursuit makers or other artists, various tutorials, etc etc etc. PJO fandom does not really have this! Like i mentioned in previous bullet points, while we have some hub/promotion or character/ship-specific blogs, they're relatively far and few between and commonly inactive, not to mention usually very specific in what niche they're focused on. The wiki only covers the source material (and is questionable quality at best most of the time) with there being next to no resources in the community in general for stuff like fandom history or terminology or etc. Did you know PJO fandom used to be part of the Superwholock of book fandoms (it was PJO, HP, Hunger Games, and Divergent. there was a whole symbol for it)? Did you know we used to have our own fandom lingo? Members of the fandom were usually called demigods or half-bloods, people would put their cabins in their bios (people would make little banners or other decorations to put on your blog themes to show your cabins or pjo stuff in general!), and we'd say stuff like "Spread this like greek fire" and "Amazhang" and etc. Those are actual things people said unironically very frequently. You're probably most likely to be familiar with "Persassy." We don't necessarily need to bring all of those things back, but point is we did use to have a community identity and sort of genuine subculture! And we lost that! There are so many community jokes and similar that most people have forgotten or at best kind of know of but don't remember the origins or contexts for. In other communities they have documentation for this kind of stuff - you should see some of the documentation that MCYT fandom does, particularly if the MCYT in question is a popular streamer or the SMP is primarily streamed content. Holy cow it's thorough. Resources and documentation are what help keep fandoms alive, because they give a means for new members of the community to learn the history of the community, learn established rules and etiquette, and just generally find their way around where they otherwise might be lost. It's really invaluable but often overlooked.

Okay, i think that's all the ones i can think of. This post has taken me over a full day of working on it, lol. Anyways i'm very passionate about fandom history and PJO fandom history/community in general so this was very fun for me to go on a deep-dive about. Also now i'm really tempted to put a lot of my old fandom knowledge and unnecessarily complicated lists/documentation to good use and try to help build up some of these bullet point concepts for riordanverse fandom myself because dammit somebody's gotta do it. But that's all i've got for now! As always feel free to ask me to elaborate on anything, or if you just wanna hear me babble on more about general fandom structures (i have another ramble about different types of fandoms relating to what fanworks they tend to exhibit the most!)/pjo fandom history/askblogs/RP community/whatever, I am always more than happy to talk!

[cosmal]

hey! i saw you have your requests open so i wanted to req a james or remus x reader where she goes off on a tangent about something she loves and then cuts herself off because she doesn’t think he’ll want to hear about it, and he is just very kind and explains that he likes to hear her talk and doesn’t find her annoying? i’m talking to a guy rn and he’s so nice but recently he dismissed a topic i’m really interested in (inadvertently i think) and i felt so silly for even bringing it up :’) ik james or remus would be so comforting!!!

it’s okay if not though! i hope you’re having a beautiful day 💞

ramble

summary james lets you ramble about your favourite tv show

content james potter x fem!reader

note men just dont get the point, do they!!!! fuck him. thanks for the req though lovely <3

You've managed to steal James away. A moment where you've worked the courage to talk to only him, not talk to him through other points his friends have made. It's just you and him and he's asked you about your favourite TV show.

"So, they're about to release a new season," you say. Your hands are talking more than your mouth is. Pointing and waving around to get your point across. "And," you think you should pause to take a breath but you don't, "and she's back."

"Who?" James asks you. He sets his drink down to fold his arms across his chest and leans in.

"Veronica!" you say excitedly, eyes creasing with pleasure. You're radiating excitement. "She's not dead. She was just missing, trapped somewhere. I’m not sure yet, the trailer doesn’t show much. How cool?"

James nods and hums and then his name is called out from across the lawn. You think it's Sirius. James doesn't pay him any mind.

"And then there's Alexander," you're talking quietly now, still just as excited, "her lover. God, he's been looking for her for centuries. Romance isn't dead."

You pause to take a breath but mainly because Sirius is still trying to gain James's attention. Standing by the fire bucket with a bunch of sticks in his hand.

"Sorry, one moment," James says, soft smile and apologetic eyes, and turns to face his friend. He's got his hand on your knee. "What?"

"Do you wanna roast marshmallows?" Sirius asks and can tell James is incensed. He has it in him to look sheepish.

"What? No, I don't, Sirius." You've never heard James get angry at Sirius. You think you might laugh but feel worse because it's because of you. "Can't you see I'm talking?"

"Whatever," Sirius grumbles.

James turns back and looks like he's about to apologise again. You beat him to it. "Sorry, James." You turn your head and feel yourself heating up. "Shit, sorry. I've started rambling again. You can go see your friends."

"What?" James' face softens and it hits you right in the chest. He's still got his hand at your knee. He squeezes it when your face ducks down. "No, ignore Sirius. He's being his usual annoying self."

You bite your lip and still feel bad. You've sat here and rambled about a TV show he's unfortunately had the displeasure of asking you about. "He's your friend."

"He's a dickhead," he grumbles but has it in him to smile. You know he doesn't mean it. They're basically like brothers; you've only known James for a few months.

"You can go roast marshmallows if you want." You feel stupid when you say it. There's the tiniest bit in you that hopes he doesn't want to. By the off chance he doesn't, you promise to shut up.

"I don't want to roast marshmallows. I couldn't think of anything worse." James laughs and grabs his empty cup. Your breathing jumps. "Hey, let's got grab another drink and you can tell me more about this show, yeah?"

You blink at him. "Really?"

James stands and holds his hands out. You stare at his arms, where his biceps strain underneath his white button-down. He's gotta be cold. "Yeah, what were you saying about Alexander? Centuries? That is romantic."

You think you beam. You know you look like an idiot. Smiling up at him until your cheeks apple. You try to tamp down the way he's making you feel but fail immensely. He looks at you with all the patience in the world until you snap out of it.

You take his hands and think being here is warmer than the space around the bonfire. "Totally romantic," you swoon. A little too dramatic. You feel worse when James guides you through the swarm of people in Emmeline's backyard. He wraps his hand around your elbow. "I envy their relationship. I mean, who can say the love of their life searched for them across time and space for hundreds of years?"

James starts to pour your drink before his. You'd told him once, an offhanded comment weeks ago, your drink of choice. He apparently remembered. "Looks like I have a bit of competition.''

"Yeah?"

James nods and hands you your drink. Stronger than usual. You don't mind, you might need it. "I've gotta lift my romance game," he says. "Gotta impress you somehow. I don't know how to time travel but I'm a good hand holder."

You giggle and let him take your hand. "I don't think you'll need time travel, James."

He doesn't. He lets you ramble all night.

[schrodinger-swriter]

Hello! I just saw your fluff alphabet and would like to request A, I, K, O, P, Q, and U for Sir Pentious. Thank you! :)

I, K, O, P, Q, and U for Sir Pentious

You can find A in the previous alphabet post for Sir Pentious, I hope you don't mind not having it all in one post!

I hope you enjoy this, Anon C:

INJURY:

He would cope.. not very well if you were to get hurt. Given that it was hell that was a likely probability. He often sends one, or even up to three, of his egg boiz with you to keep an eye on you when he isn't around. He may even scold his eggs for allowing you to get hurt, no matter how unfair it would be. He would fret over you, treating the most basic injury as if it were a death sentence. You will more than likely have to tell him that you're not dying, and that he needs to calm down... just a little bit... If he were the one injured, I can see him trying to walk it off in the beginning... but seeing the attention he's getting from you, he might try to milk it.. just a tad. He won't ask you to do every little thing for him or overplay some of the pain, but he will definitely ask for more affection than usual!

KISSES:

He loves taking your hand and kissing it, likely dipping down as he does it to really push the dramatics. He loves kissing you on the mouth, too. Short pecks, long kisses, anything in the middle, he loves it. Going into the relationship he didn't think he had a preference of where he was kissed, but he quickly learns that he loves receiving kisses on his cheeks. Please give him a peck before you go out to do something, his hood will fan out in an instant as a grin tugs itself over his face.

ODDITY:

Everything. He's a creative and an inventor, it's kind of in the job description to be at least a little odd! He will approach you in excitement as he rattles off about an idea for a new invention he's come up with (and also, to seek for your approval if it's not meant to be a surprise for you..)

Sometimes he will go on a tangent about an invention and the skills needed for it, which might lead to him having to explain those smaller details.. has a habit of sometimes overexplaining or underexplaining.. he doesn't mean to, he's just so excited and is a little all over the place as he doesn't get much of a chance to ramble to someone about this interest of his!

He has a habit of tugging on his hood when he's embarrassed or stressed, sometimes even pulling it over his face if he's feeling particularly flustered.

PETNAMES:

"My Darling," "My Dear," "My Love," and above all else, he calls you his Beloved. He almost completely replaces your name with them when you two fully establish your relationship, only reserving your actual name for rare occasion.

As for what he likes being called... Naturally, he has a soft spot for terms of endearment from his time, but I think he would be just as ecstatic if you called him anything sweet. I like to believe he likes to be called "Sweetheart," or any variation of the "Sweet___" nicknames!

QUESTION:

Hmm... this one is a hard one... but I think sometimes he would ask for reassurance. Not just that you still love him, but to confirm things about you. Totally not because he's making something for you... and he wants you to confirm a hype specific question of what your favorite color is down to the pantone code or something along those lines... heh..

I think at some point within the series, depending on where it is in the timeline he might start asking you if you believe it's possible to ascend to Heaven after being sent to Hell. Things about the quickly approaching extermination. A lot of those questions turn into promises of victory.

UPSET:

When Sir Pentious is upset he tends to seek you out, whether he be angry or sad or stressed. He finds comfort in you, and spending time with you is by far the best stress relief for him than anything else in Hell. Usually, to cheer him up you two just talk or do an activity together! Though if he's feeling worse than usual, he might have himself sit alone in his room for a while.. this is more common before the relationship/within the early stages of it.

If you're the one upset he's going to try his best to make you feel better. Making quick inventions to bring a smile to your face, letting you vent to him.. and perhaps, if someone upset you he would try to confront them... that... usually doesn't end in his favor, leaving him bloody and bruised... but hey if he can survive getting blasted into the sky by Alastor, then he can survive most anything!

May send one of his egg boiz to keep an eye on you and/or check in on you if you're upset with him. Being apart is killing him inside, and he feels so so bad. He's already doing way more than he needs to in order to win over your forgiveness. He will grovel, too.

[morlock-holmes]

A Review of John McWhorter's Woke Racism

While I was reading through White Fragility @limeadeislife recommended I might check out John McWhorter's book, or maybe more of an extended pamphlet, Woke Racism: How A New Religion Has Betrayed Black America especially because I was looking at White Fragility through the lens of how it resembles what I understand about certain right-wing Christian cultures.

I'm not entirely sure how to approach McWhorter's book.

On the one hand, unlike Robin DiAngelo, McWhorter can put together a cogent argument in the format of "A leads to B, which suggests C" which DiAngelo never bothers to do, which means the book is both a breath of fresh air after White Fragility but also that I found myself wanting to argue with some of his tangential political views about, say, education, just because they were coherent enough to argue against.

But in terms of the central thesis, the book is, openly, aimed at left-wing centrist types who find people like DiAngelo utterly inexplicable, and less directly at members of DiAngelo's ideology who are starting to question the dogma.

In fact, I did enjoy this roasting of White Fragility

"Robin DiAngelo's White Fragility, for example, reads in the present tense like a bizarre exercise in mind control created by someone bent on manipulation and getting paid. That's a misinterpretation: It is a work-book based on principles foundational in seminars of critical race theory, which its author sincerely believes in, promoting it out of a sense of benevolent mission."

I both feel that I should, for consistancy's sake explain why this invocation of Critical Race Theory doesn't bother me too much while at the same time feeling that this would be a boring tangent of interest only to a handful of people who are constantly annoyed with me.

But this leads to my big issue with the book, which is that it is very "101". This book is aimed at me eight years ago; by 2020 I had already deprogrammed myself and if you are reading this tumblr you already think this stuff is obnoxious nonsense as well, and you'll be very familiar with most of McWhorter's arguments (Including his trade school advocacy and belief in ending the war on drugs). You already read about and were outraged by the egregious examples he cites.

There's room for a deeper book about all this stuff, which delves more deeply into both the history of ideas and the culture of the religion that McWhorter sees.

The Ideology With No Name

McWhorter doesn't actually use the word "Woke" in the book. He says he finds it dismissive, and the phenomenon is serious, but I also do get the feeling that he knows that a bunch of the people shrieking about "wokeness" are as mendacious and dishonest as DiAngelo and her ilk.

There's a silly bit in White Fragility where DiAngelo writes:

"[Charles W.] Mills describes white supremacy as 'the unnamed politcal system that has made the world what is is today.'"

Which... Like. You named it in that sentence.

In fact, one of the major propaganda victories of DiAngelo et al has been to assert that they do not have an ideology, that they are merely anti-racist, and that any anti-racist movement or person obviously agrees with them, and anybody who disagrees is disagreeing with anti-racism as such.

So there just isn't an agreed upon name for the particular thread DiAngelo is part of.

McWhorter calls the ideology "Third Wave Anti-racism" and the people who follow the ideology, "The Elect" after an essayist named Joseph Bottum who I have not yet read.

Basically, McWhorter sees third wave anti-racism as a religious movement rather than a political movement, and I also agree that it has a lot in common with Right Wing American Protestantism in particular. I thought I might just go over some of the parallels, some of these are things McWhorter goes over in his book, some are my own thoughts or expansions of my own thoughts based on things he says.

Anti-Racism is the Gospel, by which I mean "The Good News". There is a strain in American missionary work that professes to be baffled that anybody rejects the Gospels. The Gospels are obviously true, and obviously good. The fact that Jesus Christ died for your sins and rose from the dead is as obviously true as the fact that the sky is blue. And so anybody rejecting the Gospel is pathologized the same way that you would pathologize someone who insisted that nobody has ever seen a blue sky. You can't admit that maybe the Gospels could be false, or that the evidence for them is anything less then overwhelming, so you invent psychological reasons for why non-believers insist on saying things that are obviously false. DiAngelo specifically is like this, she constantly acts baffled that anybody would respond to her wisdom with anything other then sheer gratitude. White Fragility asks the question, "Given that everything I, Robin DiAngelo, say about race is true and helpful, why do people get so angry when I say it?" It sounds like I am exaggerating but I promise she says this in almost the same words in the introduction to the book, which I'd quote if I hadn't already returned it to the library.

Racism is Original Sin, This is so obvious that basically everybody who is opposed to third-wave antiracism has picked up on it. It's held that every white person is inherently racist, and we can't ever stop being racist, we can only acknowledge our racism and attempt to minimize the damage. But something that I think has been talked about less is that this can be used to enforce hierarchies. Something that happens often in Christian circles is that when a leader of the community is found doing something corrupt or bad, the response is, "Of course, it just goes to show you that every one of us can sin, but the leader has repented his sin and been forgiven by Jesus Christ, so if you don't forgive him as well it shows how unchristian you are." Meanwhile, if you are found to be sinning, well, doesn't it say something very bad about you that you let yourself do this despite the community looking our for you? A similar thing happens with this "We're all a little bit racist" two-step. DiAngelo's racism is the unfortunate problem with being raised in a racist society; your racism is evidence that you haven't done the work.

Your everyday life is the battleground between God and Satan One of the reasons Christianity appeals to people is that it elevates the everyday struggles into amazing battles for the universe. Your decision about whether to masturbate while thinking of that hot barista is actually a demon from another plane of existence locked in a deadly battle for your soul with the creator of the entire universe. As much as third-wave Antiracists talk about systemic racism, in practice they are really heavily focused on inter-personal racism. DiAngelo specifically professes that once enough white people have healed our internal racism, systemic racism will sort of... disappear in an act of pure white person will. Whether you talk over Monique from HR is elevated from petty office drama to a very battle for the soul of America and the fate of her minorities.

Have you heard the good news? One of the silliest tropes in American Christian media is when our Christian heroes run into people who have never thought about Christianity and don't know anything about the bible. Of course, that idea is absurd; Christianity is one of the major political forces in America, it's basically impossible to be ignorant of it, but because it doesn't have a hegemony, it's adherents often pretend that it has no power at all and only a tiny elect even know about it. Third-Wave Anti-racism constantly does the same thing, asserting that Whites just don't think about race or racism even as millions of them rush out to buy White Fragility. Because Third-Wave Antiracism does not have a hegemony in the US, this is taken as evidence that it is utterly powerless and nobody has even heard of it, even though that is patently absurd.

I've Done Everything The Bible Says, even the stuff that contradicts the other stuff! McWhorter points out that often, third-wave anti-racists will applaud both of two entirely contradictory opinions: e.g. if whites move out of minority neighborhoods, that's white flight and evidence of white racism. If whites move into minority neighborhoods, that's gentrification and evidence of white racism. From outside, this looks like, and frankly is, pure hypocrisy. But what it does in practice, and I say this from inside experience, is build out a social hierarchy. On the lowest rungs (The ones I used to occupy) are the people who actually believe this. We are surrounded both by obvious contradictions and by friends, coworkers, and celebrities telling us that actually all this makes perfect sense, and we assume everybody else just has access to a secret knowledge that allows them to resolve these apparent contradictions. What I very slowly learned, which lead to my conversion from the culture, was that this is not the case. You don't actually figure out some crazy third way out of that dilemma, you just move to the all-white suburb because you just had a kid and you're worried about crime, and then you occasionally publicly confess how guilty you are that you did it, and that it just shows how far we have to go. The people on the highest rung are, from what I can see, people who are so utterly lacking in self-awareness and so incapable of putting together a logical argument that they simply don't understand the contradictions in their own world-view, and just confidently do whatever.

Man, I've tried to write this a couple of times and it feels like it gets away from me.

One last trope in Christian media is the unbeliever who doesn't know anything about Christianity, but he reads the bible and then comes away with the exact political beliefs of a 21st century right-wing Evangelical. Which is of course absurd; the idea that you could reconstruct Evangelical beliefs on gun control or border security by reading the Bible is patently insane, but there is a cultural bonding ritual that comes from explaining how actually all of modern day Republican politics actually comes from the bible. People who don't get it are the outgroup, people who do are the in group.

I thought about this a lot while reading White Fragility. The ideas in it are not complex; rather, they are contradictory (Or at the very least, in extreme tension with each other) and explained incredibly badly.

This allows us to identify the in-group and out-group; our in-group are the people who are already so familiar with her ideas that they can take her rambling nonsense and explain that actually it's a bunch of simple, correct ideas (I can absolutely do this, by the way), while being confused or hostile marks you as a member of the out-group.

I may just make a different post about the other thing I wanted to talk about, which is how this stuff is different for black and white people.

McWhorter and a couple of other people I talked to reminded me that there were foot washing ceremonies during some of the George Floyd protests, and I just want to remind you all that any white person who washes the feet of a black protestor is symbolically casting themselves as Jesus Christ.

[scrunckled-idiot]

DOING THIS BECAUSE MY G/T BUDDIES ARE EHEEHEHHE :D

pocket and their relationships with their co-workers:

(relationships might have changed from their original post)

scout: literally the yapper and the listener. will hang out with the boy when things have been too quiet for too long. will listen to him go on and on and on about miss Pauling, the enemy team, how much he hates spy, how he's hungry and wants to go out for food, how he doesn't know what to draw next and that he needs some better pens- just general stuff, and they just nod along to every word. usually goes out into town with him or just uses him as fast travel. both are actually really creative together since pocket will go out and find scraps of magazines or trinkets scout can use in his scrap book. team work baybeeeee. scout sees them as like his tiny older uncle/aunt thingy, because believe it or not, pocket actually has some authority over the boy, like jiminy cricket. if jiminy cricket had no voice. especially when it comes to think before you act. you do NYATT annoy heavy when he's just woken up to do the night shift.

soldier: pocket... pocket isn't really sure. i mean yea he's ok, a bit handsy and brash, and loud, but in a- charming way? i mean- they're not that big of a fan of him when he has his little episodes or mood swings, because then more than likely THEY will be his outlet. WILL out of the blue start bolting after them around the base no matter the situation. off day? MOVE THOSE LEGS! sleeping? UP AND AT 'EM SUNSHINE! getting dressed? NO TIME FOR THAT! GO GO GO!!! thinks he's helping keep them on their toes on this gravel hellscape of war, but its just causing them even more stress (and cramps in their legs OW-) will also kidnap pocket and explain some sudden delusional idea he came up with and drags them along with him, which pocket reluctantly allows (not that they really mind it anyway. they kinda dig the fact of how much of a wild card he is :3). sometimes insists on covering pockets back during matches, which often pays off. how nice! :3

pyro: he doesn't talk, they dont talk, perfect. pyro sometimes follows behind pocket like a lost puppy, going wherever they do. pocket doesn't mind the company. sometimes has to endure a few tea parties with them though and reluctantly let themselves be roughly dressed in (partially burned) doll clothes and sit for an awkwardly long time with them in their room as they play pretend. pyro handmade them a tiny house out of an old mint box the second day they arrived. pocket still uses it sometimes, even though they have their own room. its just a nice gesture y'know?

heavy: heavy usually doesn't allow pocket near him and makes up some excuse that he's ill or something. pretty believable with how pale his face goes and how shivery he gets. but after hearing some gossip from medic about his Microphobia, pocket understood, keeping their distance. but slowly over time came closer and closer after medic asked pocket to conduct some exposure therapy. now you could see pocket sat on the armchair of heavys seat as he reads his book, possibly explaining the story or going off on a tangent about how its written to them.

engineer: pocket and engie are like this 🤞fr fr. goes to him for anything and everything. usually hangs out with him after missions or on off days. weather that be tinkering in his workshops, helping him in the kitchen when making dinner, or even just lounging around with him in general. pocket looks up to him (no pun intended) as a farther figure and sticks with him during missions when they aren't entirely up for it. willingly a test subject for any crazy contraption the guy makes, weather that be a sentient smart kitchen, walking sentry girl bot thing, miniature rocket boots- you name it. one time engie made a growth ray to see if pocket would like being well- normal. hated it, threw up and got REALLY REALLY ill for some reason, the perspective change was NOT GOOD ON THEM. interesting for everyone though (but hahah turns out they were taller than engie HAHAAHHA). engie has since locked it away somewhere and forgor about it.

demoman: demos pretty fond of the wee fella in all honesty, like a... like aaa... like a pocket buddy! (how creative) sometimes snags them up subconsciously when hes drunk off his ass and just carries them around with him all night in his hand, rocking them side to side as he mumbles under his breath. its- yea a little weird, but no harm done in the end (except for that one time where pocket nearly became his "hangover cure".) he's always saying how much they remind him of the wee folk in his childhood stories and shows them pictures from his books. listens to him during his piano time, tapping their foot to the tune, flipping the pages for him, sometimes even trying their hand at it by hopping from key to key. pockets getting better at it slowly but surely! doing these little jazzy duets with demo.

medic: least favourite, but doesn't hate per say, just a bit jumpy with him. keeps scaring them and popping out of nowhere and grabbing them, cackling. its not like that can do anything about him, he's their co-worker! AND he's the one who found out that they're indestructible! so they're gratfull for him getting accurate and speciful results from him but... still though he just kinda freaks them out with that- huegehh- smile of his. but they can somewhat tolerate him. from afar. a good distance away. in another room. out of reach. Mabey with engineer as a meat shield.

sniper: both are socially awkward so they dont mind each others rare company at times. sometimes joins him, demo, and scout on their mini trips into the dessert. he's a little weird and freaks pocket out sometimes whenever they catch him eating bugs or roasting a gecko over a candle but i mean- we all got our quirks right? (tastes great tho) likes to scared pocket by laying traps around the base or telling them fun facts like "you know an iguana or something could eat you and we wouldn't know, right? pocket has a fear of animals. he knows this. it makes it so much fucking funnier when he pulls one of the fuckers out from behind his back or car seat. pocket usually gets back at him by cock-blocking him and demo. other than that they're just chill like that bro.

spy: barely ever interact really, aside from the few times spy lent a gentleman's hand in their time of need. pocket knows spy, and spy knows pocket. they acknowledge each other sure. spy sometimes keeps some of his "relaxation tobacco" spare for them when he notices they seem particularly Shakey.

bonus!:

entire blu team: out to get the fucking traitor

miss Pauling: doesn't know

admin: KNOWS

Archimedes: THE ULTIMATE SHOW DOWN OF ULTIMATE DESTINY!!! *gets pecked to "death"*

wanted to do this cus @circushaven and @bluespace-skull did and i hav severe FOMO :')

[tshortik]

Hiiiiiiiii 👀 👉👈 thats SUCH a cool redesign for Zariel, it got me so excited to DM a DiA campaign. Any tips for running it? I LOVE YOUR ART ITS SO AMAZING AND THE COLORS ARE SO PRETTY, THANK YOU FOR SHARING IT OKBYEE

Aww thank you so much! ❤❤❤ I LOVE Descent into Avernus, but my love is a complicated one. I do think it is a really good, albeit difficult module, to learn how to become a better DM, though... I will explain.

The lore in DiA is pretty flat and the campaign is pretty railroady by design. If you have a roleplay-heavy group, I think it is best to heavily alter the module and incorporate things in there, that are very relevant to your players. That is also its magic though, because you can make the conscious decision to just use DiA as a base and structure, that you then heavily alter. The premise of the main quest is cool and imo easy to follow, so taking that and shaping everything around it can be pretty neat. I don't think I would have learned as much as a DM, if I had just used a "perfect" module that already did everything for me. If that is not what one looks for though, that's also understandable.

Tips:

In DiA, the characters start in Baldur's Gate, which is imo the absolute worst decision I've ever seen. Elturel's fate is integral to the story, so I recommend having your PCs at least see what happens to Elturel. I recommend the oneshot The Fall of Elturel for that, where the PCs become witness to Elturel's fate from afar. It will also cover the low-level sessions in a neat way. Having at least one player character with a connection to that city also really helps. Otherwise, your PCs will just go "Oh wow how terrible. Anyway, I'm not from there anyway, don't know anyone from there, never been there, whatever lmao."

Some people cut out the Baldur's Gate part, but my group enjoyed that area a lot, so you can use it for roleplay-heavy sessions and fleshing out the lore. It is also a great sandbox to figure out how you as the DM will implement your characters goals and backstory into the plot, before venturing forth. Having a player character from Baldur's Gate or with a connection from there is also perfect. SPOILERS: Same thing with Candlekeep as well. It is a wicked cool location that is not explored in the module at all, but it might end up a very interesting mini arc for your PCs if you approach it on your own terms.

To flesh out the lore and make everything feel more lived in and logical (note: there are some very silly bits in the module, that would make a thoughtful player immediately go "that makes NO sense lol"), I recommend checking out the Alexandrian Remix. It can go on huge tangents that are unnecessary for your own means though, so don't feel like you have to stick to it 100%. It does have some really neat ideas and fixes for the lore though, and I have ended up using it more than the actual book lmao.

Avernus as a Sandbox is also great. In general, if you find a way to give your players choice in where they go in the Nine Hells, they will probably have a good time. I think they should def feel pressure and know of a goal, but also make sure that they have power over what road they take there, you know?

I mentioned Candlekeep – Elminster's Candlekeep Companion is also an amazing resource if you wanna flesh out that location. I have also heard of some people adding adventures from Candlekeep Mysteries in there, but I didn't do it myself cuz my players felt time pressure.

Contrast the evil, awful and depressing with moments that are nice and calm, even if it's just roleplay opportunities. Otherwise everything will feel like a drag. On the other hand, don't be afraid to then overwhelm your players by throwing a bit too much at them afterwards. High tensions and emotions are perfect for the setting imo, but you need to design it with ups and lows as to not overwhelm.

I have completely rewritten some of the Forgotten Realms lore, changed characters' genders and names and races in the book (Ravengard is a woman in my story, Reya is a dragonborn, etc.) especially about the deities. Don't be afraid to make the story your own. I also incorporated the player backstories heavily into the plot, which makes them sometimes go on completely homebrewed sidequests. Embrace that and don't be afraid of it!

Sometimes players also see connections where there are none, or they speculate about super wild stuff – and this might be controversial – but sometimes it is really neat to take some of those ideas (not all! otherwise there is no surprise) and make them actually relevant, even if they weren't before. If your players are engaged, that is always the best possible situation. Making some of their thoughts true can be on one hand extremely satisfying for them, and on the other hand they will make your own made-up-world much more interesting, because they collaborated unknowingly in making it so much richer and complex.

It really helps the flow of the campaign to have at least one PC that is: Morally dubious, or interested in deities, religion or lore. If not, you as the DM can attempt to make them more interested until they actually get to Avernus, through new goals or revelations. The themes of the Nine Hells have a lot to do with corruption and betrayal and emotions, so having characters with themes that go into that direction will make it easier to keep your players engaged.

This is my own opinion, but maybe play a couple devil npcs with this motto: There are certain good deeds only a devil can commit. Devils are the enemies, but they also have to become your allies. Your characters will be literally walking through a plane that is inhabited primarily by devils, and they will have to speak to some of them or parlay, if they don't want to be ripped to shreds immediately. Devils are smart and cunning, and many would prefer to talk it out, instead of risking their lives in the Nine Hells. This can also be an opportunity to explore corruption or redemption arcs, or to explore fiendish pacts. Both can flesh out the story tremendously. 👀

The setting gives you the opportunity to explore some esoteric and theological concepts. IF that is your jam (it is certainly mine), think about how you make that digestible to your players. They could find lore in a library, find strange ruins, meet a powerful deity, get visions by other deities, be manipulated by archdevils, etc. You don't have to leave it all as subtext, because devils and angels and otherwise literally become a central point of the campaign. Also don't be afraid to get weird about angels and devils. They are from a different plane – making them a little alien, letting them have absolutely wild opinions about the universe, not needing to fit them into our ideas of science – that is rly interesting stuff to explore as a PC and also DM. Resources (optional)

Flee Mortals by MCDM, Tome of Beasts (2023), Tome of Beasts 2, Creature Codex have really awesome monsters

Encounters in Avernus

The Encyclopedia of Demons & Demonology by Rosemary Ellen Guiley is a book that I own privately for some creative projects, but I got some neat inspiration from it for my campaign too!

A lot of the lore in Dnd is very questionable, but especially in the older versions you can find some wild and creative shit (and also lots of problematic rubbish you can just filter out lmao) that is mentioned once and then never again. Little nuggets like that usually inspire me the most and a simple sentence can spawn an entire lore or mission idea for me. Some books that you might find interesting (try to find a pdf version online cuz they aren't printed anymore) are Fiendish Codex I: Hordes of the Abyss, Fiendish Codex II: Tyrants of the Nine Hells (3.5), Guide to Hell (2e), Manual of the Planes (3.5).

[kaixserzz]

this one is very self indulgent. i go on a TANGENT talking about my favorite character's lore and i thought about dottore... gamer!reader x dottore set on me and my friend's modern!au :3

dottore rabble x3 - "favorites"

oftentimes, you find yourself gushing about the video games you always play whenever dottore was around. you can't help it—it just feels so natural, to let your mouth run until you're out of words in his presence.

he never tells you to stop or make you feel like you are unheard, he asks questions and pays utmost attention to you. you knew dottore isn't one to play video games, so he doesn't know much, but he genuinely enjoys it whenever you talked about it.

you feel so safe and not weird when you rant to him, and he's been watching you play video games to understand more of your interests. the words just escape your lips before you could think. your heart always feels like it's about to burst whenever he gives you an adoring smile, staring at your cute, scrunched-up face, completely focused on your video game.

but there was one thing that bothers dottore.

why do you keep talking about this certain character? recently, every time you talk about video games, he hears their name. and what irks him more is the fact you get so giddy when you speak about their lore, and the way your face flushes in excitement sours his worsening mood even more.

he wasn't jealous. of course not! he scoffs at the idea. why would he be jealous of a video game character that isn't even real?

but can you blame him though? you've made that character your desktop wallpaper, and the majority of your accounts are themed after them. just how obsessed are you with this character?

that isn't fair. he's your lover! it should be him that—

hmm... perhaps he is a tiny bit jealous. just a small fraction of the horrid feeling. nothing more.

and though dottore doesn't want you to know anything about his growing jealousy, he asks you anyways,

"if you were to choose between us, who would you pick?"

the question caught you off guard, taking your eyes off the screen to look at him incredulously. it was hard to discern what he felt at the moment, only staring back at you intensely as he awaited your answer. you glance at your screen, seeing your favorite character standing idly, then bit your bottom lip to hold back a snort.

"between you and my favorite character?" you asked back, tilting your head towards him, forcing yourself to be as serious as he was.

dottore nodded, his eyes now glaring at the screen of your computer, showing absolute disdain towards your favorite character. you hummed as you rubbed your chin, pretending to be deep in thought, and you see how utterly offended dottore was at the fact you had to think about whom to choose.

"well, i'll pick my favorite, of course," you answer innocently, with a mischievous smile on your lips. and just as you suspected, his eyes narrowed, red eyes darkening as he leaned towards you, as if his ears deceived him.

"what?"

then you burst into a fit of giggles, cupping dottore's cheeks into your hands and pressing your nose against his. he was so cute getting jealous over someone fictional. maybe you should've been paying more attention to him anyway.

"that's you, silly!" you reveal, and you feel him lean against your touch, his skin tingling in delight at how close you were to him. "you're my favorite. i'd never replace you over a bunch of pixels."

his tensed shoulders relaxed at that, a satisfied smile emerging on his lips as he press his forehead against yours, his hand caressing your cheek. "good," he mutters, "because you're my favorite too."

your heart felt like it was about to soar at his genuine confession, biting your bottom lip to prevent you from squealing. on the inside, you were screaming at how sweet dottore was being at the moment. but of course, you just had to ruin it.

"... well, if they become real though, it'd be a different story!" you joked, and you feel his smile shift into a scowl.

dottore pulls away from you and simply said. "you're not getting any kisses tonight." and turned around to walk out of your room.

"wait, no!" you called out for him, "baby please, it was a joke!"

- ̥۪͙۪˚┊❛❛ If you like this a lot, consider reblogging! I'll appreciate it very very much! Don't repost and/or translate my work anywhere. ❜❜ ┊˚ ̥۪͙۪◌

[elemom]

@legofreak33 Thank you for ordering the Autism Deluxe Special!

Here’s why I think Zane Julien is Nuclear Powered

(Contains spoilers for 2011 ninjago seasons 1-3)

(I also have not finished the show so i might be missing some details)

A singular object that has seemingly infinite energy

Infinite energy is impossible, but there’s something that comes pretty close - radioactive materials. Since they are *literally* emitting energy and can do so for thousands of years, radioactive objects are basically the closest thing to an “object that acts as an infinite energy source” you can get.

Blue Light

It’s blue. It glows.

Now I couldn’t find a specific element that glows blue AND could be used in nuclear energy, as the only one I know of is cesium chloride. HOWEVER. I don’t need a specific element in order to prove my point here.

Cherenkov radiation.

Cherenkov radiation occurs when charged particles (say, an electron) moves faster than light. IRL this is only possible in a medium wherein photons themselves are slowed, such as water, but in the realm of make believe anything is possible. Even if we DO have real world physics in play, it’s totally possible that the energy core just has water inside it along with everything else (the core’s Blue DOES have a bit of movement after all!)

Critical Mass and Going Boom

This is where it gets too easy. They literally say it can reach “critical mass” IN THE SHOW. THEIR WORDS. NOT MINE.

If you aren’t familiar, critical mass is basically a point where there is enough material (a certain *mass*) in one area to cause a chain reaction: An atom releases a radioactive particle, which hits another atom, causing it to release another radioactive particle. Now we have two radioactive particles. They keep hitting other atoms. And so on and so forth. (Strangely, the show seems to reference critical mass as running *out* of energy, which is the literal exact opposite of what it actually is, so i’m opting to ignore that.)

So how does this apply to Zane and the references to a critical mass in the show? I personally like to believe that his “critical mass” was caused by *using too much power at once.* Kinda. There’s probably a control mechanism with neutron absorbers inside the core, so maybe the critical mass was caused by him retracting said absorbers, thus causing a chain reaction. (also as a tangent, titanium is apparently a decent neutron absorber! perhaps the real titanium ninja was the friends we made along the way)

Oh, and by the way. Nuclear objects reaching criticality are known to glow blue.

Pic related.

Difference between this and the core glow would be based on the types of particles, with the former being charged particles in a medium and the latter being neutrons. I think. Idk im a biologist not a nuclear physicist i dont go here i just autism about it

discussion section

So yeah! Dr. Julien just created a tiny nuclear reactor to make his son go. Sure. Fuck it. Who Gives A Shit

Anyway i think that’s all i have!!! This obviously isn’t all encompassing (how did Nya survive holding a piece of the core? Why was the explosion all icy and not like, anything else? How does Zane not kill everybody he meets?) but those can all be explained away in the name of “i have had a special interest in nuclear energy since i was a very small child and nobody can take this away from me.” like maybe people are fine because he just has really good shielding. Or maybe Nya is fine because girls are immune to radiation (totally true fact)

Thanks for reading! Take this piece of uranium ore as thanks for reading this entire post. 🪨

[rriavian]

While thinking about an entirely unrelated fic I had a thought about Dream and Gault and shapeshifting that led down a bit of a rabbit hole. It's really quite fascinating that she's been given a power that is arguably a very significant aspect of Dream.

As far as I can tell she's the only one aside from him to be able to shapeshift.

I don't think any other creation can, or at least not to the extent that she's implied to be capable of, able to take on the image of whoever/whatever. So Dream, Shaper of Form, gives a power reflecting one of his titles - his name, reflecting Morpheus - to Gault and Gault alone. She's one of his major arcana, was trusted because her rebellion obviously really hurt him, and when he made Gault's true from into a dream he gave her a pair of absolutely stunning wings.

I'm starting to think 'major arcana' might be a code word for 'one of Dream's favourites'.

It might be a complicated relationship but I do think they were close (definitely a dynamic I want to write more of) and I also think it's interesting to consider what aspects of Dream the other major arcana could be intended to reflect. Though my thoughts went off on a tangent about that so I may have to delve into it separately, because the shapeshifting thought I started with was actually a little silly.

Do you think Gault ever impersonates Dream?

Like transforms into him and does her best impression? Maybe it used to make him laugh (maybe it still does), maybe Dream's eyes glittered with mischief one day, maybe he wondered just how convincing her portrayal could be.

Did Dream ever turn into her?

Maybe he did. Maybe that had practical uses as well as entertaining ones, inspired tricks only they could pull off. It's a bit of fun, it's a private joke between them, a way to prove how skilled Gault is with this aspect of his power that no other has. And maybe there's something else in that too, in how she's never used it this way, this power she's only used to terrify, something sparked the first time she makes Dream laugh. A sort of pride that finds her growing tired of inspiring fear.

Maybe the nightmare Gault was had been inspired to become a dream the moment she'd made him smile.

[cringecompanionapologist]

So I Made Up a Needlessly Complicated Version of the Ruby's Mother Reveal

Yeah, it's been several months and I'm still frustrated and overthinking it. RTD finales have prioritized spectacle over sense before, so it's not like this is some kind of apocalyptic show-ending problem. I know the fandom treats every mistake, or thing that they personally don't like, as an apocalyptic show-ending problem, but the show just keeps on going whatever they think of it. There's gonna be more Doctor Who. We're not done yet.

But, yeah, Empire of Death was a bit of a mess. Specifically, the reveal of Ruby's mother was poorly done. The fact that she's just some normal woman is actually pretty good in theory. The problem is mainly in the way it's set up.

(This is gonna be long)

When I was The Church on Ruby Road when it aired, despite all the emphasis put on it, I assumed Ruby's mom was just some ordinary woman giving up her baby for ordinary reasons. Everyone was guessing the name of every female character in the history of the franchise and I was thinking, "Guy's, it's probably no one. We might meet her someday and do an emotional thing about it, but this is gonna be a Rose's dad situation where we meet the parent the character never met to find out that they're just a normal, average person. No big deal."

I thought the "Ruby is adopted and doesn't know who her biological parents are" thing was mainly a way to have the new companion bond with the Doctor. He hears about Ruby's situation and he realizes that he also doesn't know who his biological family is, and that maybe it's not really important to the person he became, but it's a part of his life, some small part of who he is, and he's curious. Since RTD's not just gonna retcon the Timeless Child, this would be a good way to handle it. Whatever the hell it does to the lore of the show, a character's backstory only matters in how it shapes who they are in the present. If a character learns something new about their past, you can ignore a lot of the implications of what this means for The Lore, if it leads to something interesting with the character.

(I suppose we're doing a little tangent about the Timeless Child now)

The biggest problem with the Timeless Child was that it both changed everything and changed nothing. Seeing the Fugitive Doctor, a Pre-Hartnell Doctor, travel in a TARDIS shaped like a police box, sometimes with companions, mostly acting just like a new series Doctor has a negative effect on the Hartnell Era. Apparently One's arc was becoming who he already was anyway.

But, let's say you're a more casual fan. You haven't seen the classic series. You don't know anything about the Hartnell Era. Maybe you started watching the show in Series 11. If you don't know All the Lore, then it doesn't matter how the show in 2020 fucks up what the show was in 1964. What matters is how this will effect the characters in the show as it is in 2020 moving forward.

And it really doesn't. The Doctor freaks out, because she has this past that she didn't know about, and then she admits that she never let where she came from define her before, so it doesn't have to matter. The only reason the Doctor has a Big Dramatic Reaction, as far as the audience can tell, is because there was a Big Dramatic Reveal, so it has to have a Big Dramatic Reaction.

So, when it comes to the show's past, the Timeless Child changes too much, but when it comes to the show's present, it doesn't really change anything, so depending on your relationship with the show, it's either a major insult to the Hartnell Era and the First Doctor's character arc, or it's just a lame twist that didn't go anywhere.

RTD fixed the second part, the part that effects the show in the present, in The Church on Ruby Road. He had the Doctor realize, through meeting Ruby, that he was basically adopted and, even if it doesn't really matter to who he is now, he still feels like he needs to know. Now the importance of the twist isn't based in the lore, but in the character, which gives you a reason to give a shit. It feels like this might go somewhere.

But then Space Babies aired. We have the strange, magic snow. The Doctor's memory of being at the church and seeing Ruby's mother changed, so now she's pointing ominously, when she wasn't before. The events of the night are apparently being rewritten in memory. So, it became clear that who Ruby's mom was was going to actually be important to the season's plot, not just as a character thing.

Then The Devil's Chord doubles down on this, having A LITERAL GOD be freaked out by the fact that The One Who Waits was apparently there when Ruby was born. So, yeah, Ruby's mom has to be important. Even if her mom wasn't important, her birth apparently was, since a powerful being that scares A LITERAL GOD found it important to show up.

Then the season ends and we get the twist that Ruby's mom was completely ordinary and she was only special because everyone thought she was. But why did everything think she was special? Because the show made it perfectly clear that she was! You've got magic snow, changing memories, all technology seeming to glitch around the incident. This isn't just a case of "she's the main character so she's gotta be special". We only thought who Ruby's mom was was important because we were repeatedly told that it was. So, it feels like the audience is being told they were foolish for listening, paying attention, basically doing what they were told to do.

I've tried to figure out all the supernatural stuff about the reveal, how it might all go back to Sutekh, but that doesn't make sense either. If Sutekh's been clinging to the TARDIS since The Pyramids of Mars, then he's been a lot of places and it didn't have these results. This isn't the first mystery the TARDIS has landed in the middle of either. Why was Ruby's mom worth all this, but not the cracks in time, or where all those different Claras came from?

Also, why does the GOD OF DEATH give a shit who anyone's mom is if he's just gonna kill them all anyway? Why is the GOD OF DEATH so invested in the details of one random person's life?

But, I like the idea of Ruby being ordinary. That's what most companions are, especially in the new series. They're normal people who end up in extraordinary situations and, because of that, end up doing extraordinary things. They aren't special because of who they are or where they came from, but because of what they do. That was the twist with Clara in series 7. There was nothing extraordinary about her before she met the Doctor, but she became extraordinary, showing up all over time and space, because she met the Doctor. I don't even like series 7 but it pulled off the "companion is just a regular person" twist better than Season/Series 1/14/40 did.

So, Ruby should be ordinary, but the season doesn't set it up properly. So, I thought of a way that the extraordinary set up could be used for the ordinary reveal, by basically having the ordinary inside the extraordinary. He's the way that I, some random person on the internet, but make this work:

So, I'm not even sure this works with Sutekh as the antagonist, but it works with Some Kind of Evil God Thing. Honestly, Sutekh in Empire of Death is more Some Kind of Evil God Thing, than the Specific Evil God Thing in Pyramids of Mars, so maybe this is fine.

Anyway, The One Who Waits has been waiting in The Void, or The Shadows, watching the Doctor, Waiting for...him to meet Ruby. Because Ruby was meant to be a trap. She's deliberately similar to Rose, who's basically the template for the new series companion. Ruby is 19 years old, blond, and has a four letter name that starts with R and refers to a shade of red. She practically has an IDEAL COMPANION sign floating over her head.

If there's too things the Doctor can't resist it's people who remind him of Rose, and mysteries. Clara became a companion because there was a mystery around her that got the Doctor's attention. So, we have a combination of Rose and Clara and a Big Damn Mystery for the Doctor to solve, with her backstory of being adopted giving her an even stronger emotional connection to the Doctor. There's no way she won't become a companion and there's no way the Doctor won't want to solve the mystery around her.

Ruby being abandoned on the doorstep of a church, though it is something that probably happens sometimes, looks like something out of a movie. It looks like how Ruby might imagine it, shrouded in mystery of a cloaked woman, surrounded by the beautiful but haunted Carol of the Bells and falling snow, all happening on a major holiday to drawn even more attention to it.

This whole scene was arranged by The One Who Waits (whoever that is, Sutekh or not. We'll just go with The One Who Waits for now). The One Who Waits is a god, sort of warping reality to create this big dramatic story.

So, Doctor meets Ruby and they go on adventures. The appearance of the various Susans creates another mystery to attract the Doctor's attention. Everywhere he goes with Ruby, a Susan appears. The One Who Waits has just created a bunch of copies of an original Susan and as his creations, he can control them and they do his bidding, even though they also can have lives and identities of their own.

The thing is, the Susans don't show up wherever the Doctor goes. If this had been happening since his 4th incarnation, he probably would've noticed that before hitting the 15th, especially since it only took a few months for the Doctor to notice it after Ruby showed up. The Susans show up wherever Ruby goes. Now that she's the Doctor's companion, the Susans are being scattered everywhere.

So, the Doctor is trying to figure out The Mystery of Ruby's Mom and The Mystery of the Susans at the same time. When they get things set up at UNIT and see Ruby's mom's face...It's another Susan. This only motivates the Doctor to investigate those further, eventually leading him to the right place at the write time for The One Who Waits to reveal himself.

But, no, Susan isn't Ruby's mom. The mysterious woman who placed Ruby on the steps of the church is a Susan, but not Ruby's mom. We get a sort of flashback revealing that Ruby's mom is...the same women she is in Empire of Death. But, she doesn't leave Ruby at the church. She puts her up for adoption, possibly at an agency, and the Susan either works at the agency or adopts Ruby and leaves her at the church in a staged dramatic scene. The One Who Waits basically waited for a baby to born and given up for adoption under the right circumstances.

The One Who Waits, being a God, had no problem erasing all records and memories of baby Ruby prior to the church. He could also fuck around and make DNA samples not lead to anything. He had to make sure Ruby couldn't solve the mystery on her own and he's a god, so he can kind of do whatever he wants to achieve that.

So, it turns out Ruby was an ordinary human with an ordinary mother who put her up for adoption for ordinary reasons, but she just happened to be someone the Doctor's enemies could use as part of a trap. The One Who Waits, being a god, makes the magic happen. The snow, the changing memories, all this god fucking with everyone. Ruby became extraordinary because she was basically selected at random for happening to fit a set of criteria. And we get an exchange that's sorta like:

Ruby: All this trouble for someone who wasn't special.

Doctor: Of course she's special! She's your mum! Everyone's special to someone.

Or something like that. I dunno. I'm just writing AU fanfiction at this point.

[ruruumin]

hell/heaven.

₊˚ ᗢ kazuha x fem!reader, modern au.

⤷ based on keshi's "hell/heaven." mentions of alcohol & sex.

want to read the other part? read: limbo.

“Tell me more, I adore you.” 

You lean your head against the inner frame of the car, your eyes staring off into the distance as Lumine drives the two of you home. The car ride would have been completely silent had it not been for the soft music playing on the radio. You both finished a night partying at Hu Tao’s place, and it was time for you to return home. Your eyes flicker to the photos that were left in the nooks of her car, ones that were filled with photos of you, her, and her twin brother Aether. 

A night of drinking didn’t do much to erase the feeling in the pit of your stomach. The one that would create butterflies out of nothing. The one that would somehow do cartwheels and flips whenever you saw that stupid, literature major who always stops by your apartment to study (despite living further away from you). A few shots here and there left you feeling a bit tipsy. 

The girls wanted to have an outing and you couldn’t say no. How could you? Yoimiya and Hu Tao were looking into your eyes with puppy-dog eyes. They said that after having a long test, they were willing to get shit-faced just for a weekend. You didn’t entirely agree on the second half. However, the thought of getting a bit of relief sounded nice. And a relief it was for maybe a few minutes. 

It wasn’t until Kokomi, from your chemistry class, asked you about your relationship with Kazuha. She peered up at you with a shot glass wrapped between her fingers, the look in her eyes almost mischievous. Perhaps Gorou told her something that made her want to ask you this. She never seemed all too interested in your relationships beforehand. Yet something sparked her interest. It might have been the longing looks that the man gives you whenever you turn your head, or the way she notices him buy things that remind him of you, or whenever Gorou barks her ear off about what Kazuha was saying that day.

“Don’t tell me you’re thinking about him again,” She says, steering the car. Her words snap you out of your thoughts and you shake your head. The blond shifts the music to a lower volume so that when she turns her head, she could hear your voice clearer than the harmony. 

“What if I am? What are you going to do about it?” A giggle escapes from your lips but it quickly subsides to silence. The girl pushes her lips together as she resists the urge to roll her eyes at you. Tonight, you were quiet. A little too much for her liking.

She had grown used to hearing you talk about your “boy troubles.” And although she might have pinched your cheek or nudged your elbow whenever you went on a tangent about him, she was starting to miss it. She doesn’t understand why you like this man so much. She has seen him slip out of the bathrooms with a girl hanging by his arm, or the flask that slips of his bag whenever they share a class. Don’t even get her started on the excessive smoking that happens whenever he is partying. She honestly finds it a miracle that you didn’t know about a lot of these things.

Or perhaps you already have, and accepted it as Kazuha. 

You raise your hand and bring it to cover the lower half of your face. You were head over heels for him. Ever since you met him back in freshman year of high school. You liked that goofy smile of his, that little tooth that sort of sticks out looked a lot more charming than people gave credit. You liked the way he would push the bridge of his glasses with his slender fingers, his autumn eyes turning their attention to you whenever you said his name.

“Why don’t you just ask him out then? Tell him to meet up with you on Saturday,” Lumine chuckles, “You need to buy your biology textbook right? Let em’ tag along.”

“Yeah but what if he gets bored?” You pout. 

“Bored? Of you?” She nearly slams the brakes. 

As if. She sees the way he looks at you. While she may not approve of his daydreaming or smoking habits, she’s impressed by the dedication he has to keep your friendship. If she was in his shoes, and she didn’t already have a boyfriend, she wouldn’t have hesitated to jump ship and kiss you on the spot. That's how much of a supportive best friend she is. 

“You’re crazy.” 

Lumine speeds up the car, rolling down the windows as you open up your phone to text Kazuha. She turns back up the music to a louder volume, the thumping causing both of you to laugh. The wind blows through your hair and you feel the adrenaline kick in. You figure that while the alcohol is still coursing through your veins, you might as well shoot your shot. 

“I’m devoted, hours turn to minutes when I listen to you talkin.”

You hate that you weren’t the type of girl Kazuha might be into. You’re probably not as pretty as his project partner for a poetry class. Most definitely not as confident or outgoing as Kokomi and Beidou. And especially not a smooth talker like Ningguang. You wouldn’t even consider yourself extremely reserved and meek like Ganyu. You’ve faced the battles that come with standing beside him. Rumors don’t slip your ears as much as people think.

And even when you are swarmed like hives by your insecurities, when he looks into your eyes with those autumn-colored irises, he makes you forget everything you were worried about. You can only hope that he doesn’t see the underlying truth. 

You weren’t good per se. You had terrible habits. When you say you’re at home studying, you’re in the car with Lumine running errands late at night, oftentimes sitting on the curb eating dry powdered donuts. You like to drink a little more than you should, which ends up with the blond carrying you back to her car with a paper bag. You push yourself too far when you know you shouldn’t, the times Lumine found you passed out in your chair or public libraries were too many for her to count. You weren’t one to back down from a drinking challenge, especially when Beidou and Ningguang are participating. Competitiveness runs through your veins. 

You love that adrenaline that gets you high at night. It takes away from the stress that comes with being an underpaid teacher’s assistant, working overtime on weekends, and having agonizing 8 am classes. You’ve even started to balance being a wingman to Childe’s extravagant plans to impress Lumine. Each time he comes over to your table, you had to resist the urge to roll your eyes every time he brings up the poor idea of sneaking into her dorm to throw a surprise party. 

You blink once before nodding to whatever Kazuha said. He gives you an endearing smile as he reaches out to hold your hand, bringing you away from the thick crowds. Your face feels hot when you walk beside him. You think it's the sun, others might say it was your nervousness getting the better of you. A small smile creeps up on your face as you interlace your fingers, hoping that what you feel was more than mutual. 

“Is this hell or heaven? You decide.” 

You let out a small whimper when he kisses you for the first time. Your stomach explodes with fireworks. Wrapping your arms around his neck, you rock back and forth as he keeps you on his lap. You brush through his long hair with your fingers, combing through it as you continue this game of push and pull. You feel shivers when his slender fingers press against your hips, holding you still. You fear that you’re going to get drunk off of this feeling. 

You had to admit that the excuse to see him was a poor one. You asked him if you could come over to listen to his newest song, the one that he planned on performing with Aether and Xiao. However, seeing him in that comfy caramel sweater that you gifted him on his birthday, wearing the same cologne you’ve grown familiar with, it became increasingly hard to keep your heart from leaping out of your throat. He asked you politely in that smooth voice if you would like a drink as he played, to which you replied a little too eagerly.

Parting away from him, he chases after your lips. You hold back another sound from escaping your mouth. You suppose underneath your texts, you wanted a little bit more. Maybe a few slips of the tongue and words will spill out of your mouth if you drank. However, it didn’t take much alcohol for you to lean forward, quietly asking him under your breath if you were allowed to kiss him. 

He flinched at first, unsure of what to answer, but with the way his ears turned red, that flushed expression on his face, the slow nod of his head… you knew those were signs that he wanted you just as equally as you did. 

You knew it was wrong to think of your best friend like this. To think about brushing through his hair as he squeezed you firmly against his body. To wrap your legs around him to keep him still. Kazuha, your best friend and closest confidant. Your maple leaf and darling, how could he not be yours? The boy that used to walk you home after volleyball, the one that would buy you ice cream whenever you cried, the one you leaned your head against during movies, you wanted him. All of him. 

Everyone has their vices. You were more than willing to give up your lifestyle for him. More than willing to let him into your heart even when people say he’s just trouble. When you note the way he kisses you, or how he wraps his arms tightly around your waist when you jump into his arms, you felt safe. Shielded from this world that seemed a little too hard. A little too overbearing. He was your breath of fresh air. As ironic as the situation is.

You let out a surprised gasp when Kazuha flips you over onto the bed, his fingers interlacing with yours as he presses his forehead against yours. The moment is intimate. You feel raw and exposed despite keeping your clothes on. You both stare into each other’s eyes, giving a few “heys” here and there. Without much hesitation, using your opposite hand, you pull him down, kissing him once more.

He’s yours, and you don’t want to let go of him.

⤷ this one is waayyy different from limbo in the case where reader is a lot more "adrenaline-hooked" so her thoughts are sporadic. sort of contrasts kazuha's calm but conflicted personality in limbo.

[fryuteih]

I'm Into Older Guys!

Na Kamden x Reader

High School AU where reader is into older guys to the dismay of Kamden, who's in the same grade.

Note: The writing in this post probably sucks so read at your own discretion if you hate bad writing ✍️. (First work too & it's too many words long)

----

It was a well-known fact to those who spent time with you, that you took an interest to older males. Your friends, most especially, knew this.

Said friends would often find themselves stuck, listening to your banters about how this celebrity in his late 30's had the "most beautiful" jawline, how this senior from photography club was so "passionate" about his craft, how this upperclassmen looked at you with the "dreamiest" eyes a bit too long in the school cafeteria, and so on. Your banters were, to put it, "over excessive and delusional" in the words of your best friend named "Keita".

"Can you shut your delulu-ness for 1 second?" Keita exasperatingly whisper-screams infront of you.

Currently, Keita, Kamden, Jay and you were seated at the school cafeteria. The four of you often spent breaks together and had frequent hangouts or study sessions after school. So, it was no suprise that the lot of you were currently seated together during lunch.

"No! Look behind you! He literally is shooting me love-eyes!" You whisper-scream back, trying to make a point.

"I think he's shooting love-eyes at Karina" Jay pipes up from beside you, gesturing behind him with his eyes.

"Exactly! You're just a delusional idiot" Keita happily claps and gives Jay an affirming shoulder pat.

"Hey, I'm not taking sides, ok? I'm just saying what I think is happening."

"You guys are just haters, for real. Kamden, tell them he's shooting love-eyes at me!" You expectantly waited for Kamden who was beside Keita, to prove them wrong.

In response, Kamden sighs tiredly and rubs his forehead with his unoccupied hand. The boy was quiet up until this point as he was trying to eat in peace, and so, was tuning out to your group's banter. He was especially skilled in zoning out, but somehow, he couldn't whenever you were talking. You were assertive and loud when you wanted to and it was difficult to ignore, right now was a prime example.

"Well..?"

"Leave me out of this" He whispers solemnly

"Look you made him sad!" Keita points at Kamden with a mouth full of food

"One: Gross, Two: I didn't mean to!"

"Awwww, Kamden are you sad? C'mere" Jay tries to comfort his friend by attempting to hug him, arms outstretched towards the boy infront of him and upper body leaning forward. Leading your hand to forcefully stop him by the stomach in an attempt to avoid the tray of food infront of him splattering on his shirt. Kamden instinctively rejects Jay's efforts with his body and seemingly had lost his appetite, dropping his utensils down.

"Jay can you stop? You're making a scene." You try to mediate the situation as people started side-eyeing at Jay and his antics.

"This wouldn't have happened.." Keita takes a big bite of food "..if you weren't delusional over older guys way out of your league." He finishes with a mouth full of food

You grimace at the boy infront of you "One: You're actually disgusting, you need to stop that. Two: Are you trying to make a point?"

"Yeah, stop making everyone uncomfortable over your addiction on ancient men and start going for guys age-appropriate."

"Please, a mere one to three, sometimes even five year age-gap isn't that bad." You were going to continue your tangent, already opening your mouth to say the next words, but was soon interrupted.

"You should start eating, lunch is going to end soon and you've barely touched your food." Kamden says before you could continue talking

"I didn't know their salad was going to be this bland." You defend, still restraining Jay "Anyway, back to what I was"

"Here, you like potatoes right?" Kamden nudges his tray of food containing an already one-fourth eaten dish with some potatoes on it towards you "Next time, think about what you're going to eat thoughtfully."

"I-" You were going to reject the offer, guilty that the boy was giving you his food out of pity, but was once again interrupted

"I lost my appetite anyways, it's better to not waste it." Kamden shuts you down

You accept the offer, taking Kamden's tray of food with your hand that wasn't restraining the persistent Jay, "If you change your mind and still want to eat, I can buy you food later after class."

"Whatever, eat already." Kamden says while Keita shoots him a look, raising one eyebrow

You sweetly smile at the boy that offered you food and start eating, then you refocus your attention to Keita, "Anyway, age doesn't define whether or not their out of my league."

"Nahhh, anyone older than you is too mature for your kid attitude." Keita argues, yet again with a mouth full of food "If you don't want to be a kid, maybe stop your obsession over older guys for a bit, yeah?"

"I'm not gonna change my standards just because you're a hater, besides, why should the world care when I'm not hurting anyone."

Kamden scoffs, seemingly at your statement which makes Keita howl in laughter causing him to choke on his food. You laugh, trying to muffle your laughter with your hand as Kamden stares at you, head resting on his right hand. On the other hand, this makes Jay stop his incessant attempts to hug Kamden and transfer his attention to patting Keita's back profusely.

You were about to go off at Keita about how karma had bit him, patting his back lightly as you were shaking from laughing too hard, but his continuous choking was starting to become concerning. Too concerning that people were full-blown staring at your table now. Too much concerning that the Kamden who usually ignored your group's antics had started hoisting Keita up to get him to the clinic, putting one of the boy's arms around his shoulders. Most concerning when Keita had started spitting out his food. You started to wrap Keita's other arm around your shoulders and helped Kamden lead Keita to the clinic. Jay trailed behind the three of you, telling reassuring statements to Keita while the on-goers you lot passed by stared at the predicament and Keita, well, continued letting out the most gruesome choking sounds.

Once the group reached the clinic, the nurse quickly ushered Keita to sit on a bed. The nurse then made Keita lean forward and gave him the loudest back blows you've ever heard. The boy almost had his eyes gauging out but it wasn't for naught as the food he was choking on, went out from his esophagus.

"Rest here for a while boy." Keita was one step ahead of the nurse, moving his body to lay sideways on the bed. The nurse then looked at Kamden, Jay and you, "The bell rung a few minutes ago, all of you go now, I'll give you an excuse slip for being late to class. The youth should really learn first-aid" The nurse whispers the last part

You all comply with the nurse, taking your slips and bidding farewell to the silent Keita. Walking down the hall together, you finally reach the intersection where you would part ways with Kamden and Jay who had class in the other hallway.

"Jay go ahead without me, I need to buy water" Kamden says pointing to the hallway you were going

"Isn't there a vending machine with water there? Why waste the time, you might get in trouble for being too late" You question pointing to the hallway where Jay and Kamden's class was.

"I don't like the water there, it tastes fishy." Kamden scrunched his face while waving at Jay to go.

"Alright, you're dead meat to Ms. Lee tho. Enjoy walking together while I walk in loneliness" Jay bids farewell, shooting Kamden a look, eyes squinting.

"You should bring your tumbler next time to save on money." You direct to Kamden as the two of you walked down the hallway.

"Hey [name]"

"Hi Kamden"

"Don't feel guilty about what happened, Keita was bound to choke on his food these days"

You chuckle, "Yeah, I can't help it tho. He did keep talking because I kept talking to him."

He chuckles back, "That's how you always are, huh?.. Besides, this'll probably stop him from talking with his mouth full."

The both of you stop at the vending machine. Kamden raises his eyebrow at you.

"It wont hurt waiting for you a while, yeah?" You say

Kamden smiles, buying two bottles of water. He offers you the other one, "Here you didn't drink water after eating, right?"

"Oh right, how much is a bottle of water again?"

"No need to pay me, it's a hassle if you give me money now."

"You already gave me your lunch, I don't want to use you that much." You say guiltily

"Come on, we're going to be even later now. Just take it, you said that you would treat me after school, yeah?"

You reluctantly take the bottle of water from Kamden, "I'll remind you everyday from now on to bring your water bottle"

Kamden silently nods and waves goodbye at you, walking fastly to his class. You don't think much of what he did and paced to your classroom, thinking heavily on what Keita had said to you.

-------

Once classes were dismissed for the day, you rushed to the clinic, thinking that Keita would still be there. Just like what you had thought, he was there, sleeping soundly.

You sat down on the chair beside the bed where Keita laid. A few seconds passed and you watched as Keita's breathing pattern started to slow down. You panic and guiltily reminisce about what Keita had said to you earlier at lunch that had led to him choking. Was it really that bad that you liked older guys? Keita did just want what was best for you, because who would he pester if you weren't fine? Jay would only get too apologetic whenever someone was bothering him for whatever reason and Kamden would only avoid someone annoying him. You felt the same way about Keita, he was your good friend that you could always rely on to not hold grudges for something idiotic. Keita wouldn't necessarily forgive but he would get back at you, it was a mutual friendship.

Your thoughts then wandered to times you and Keita spent together.

------

"Keita! Look, look!!" You excitedly brought your phone up to your best friend's face

"Okay, okay! Be glad you're my only friend right now" Keita mumbles "What? A 50-year old man's profiting off a concert?"

"One: He's 37 years old. Two: let's go together! He's going here."

Keita thinks for a second, "Admit it, dogs are better"

"Cats are superior"

Keita sighs at your stuborness and then thinks for another second, "You're lucky I like his music, otherwise I wouldn't agree."

"So you're going?" You excitedly ask

"Yeah, it'd be cool to actually see an artist in action. Besides, I want to see how he's attracting so many people."

"One: Omg omg you're actually agreeing. Two: He has a jawline that can slice a person in two."

"That's weird"

You decide not to argue with Keita as he had already agreed to go with you and might take his word on it back if you provoked him. You were going to show Keita in real-life anyways how handsome this male artist was and how influential his career must be with all the fans at the concert as evidence. An experienced artist like him knew the ways of life and used that to uplift his career, it was admirable to you and so was his jawline.

When the concert was finished, to put it, Keita officially was a fan with you as the both of you blasted his music on the way home.

---------

You stood at the front door of your best friend's house. After pestering Keita to let you visit, he finally let down. Was there an ulterior motive for wanting to visit? Yes. What was it? Well, you rung the doorbell to Keita's residence and only a few seconds later, the door opened to reveal Matthew who was smiling so very brightly. Matthew was Keita's older brother by 3 years and that meant 3 years older than you.

"Oh hey [name]! So nice to meet you, Keita said that you were coming!"

"O-oh yeah, nice to meet you too" You bowed at him, hiding the crimson rising to your face

"Yahhh, no need for formalities around me! It makes me feel old." Matthew ruffles your hair "Come in, come in!"

Matthew leads you to their living room where Keita was residing. Keita looks at you with an unpleasant look and pats the space beside him on the couch repeatedly and loudly.

"Be nicer to your friend, Keita!" Matthew playfully berates "Their a guest!"

"Yeah, yeah, stop shouting. You'll make my ears bleed."

"Be nicer to your older brother" You pipe in

"Don't tell me what to do, guest!"

Matthew laughs at the two of you, "I'll prepare drinks for the both of you! You like iced tea, [name]?" He looks at you

"Ofcourse! Anything will do haha" You smile

"Great! I'll get that prepared!" Matthew pats your back lightly and sets off to the kitchen

You sit down next to Keita as he stares at you in disgust, "Try not to drool over my brother challenge" He whispers

"Your brother is so cool, I can't believe you two are related." You whisper back

"I'm actually going to curse you out, be happy I even let you in here."

"Gosh, your brother is handsome and well-kept." You continue whispering as Keita deepens his disgusted stare, "So well-mannered and kind, he even asked if I liked Iced tea."

"Iced tea is all we have, idiot."

You shoot him a look, "Try being like your brother and maybe you'll get someone to look at you."

"DANG OKAY"

"Hope you guys are having fun!" Matthew comes in with two iced teas. It couldn't be helped but to notice his smile. His smile that showed so much of his pearly whites, it felt illegal to see premium content for free. The way that he sets two coasters for the iced teas so that the table wouldn't get wet was so endearing, his mother must have thought him well. The way that he told you and Keita to enjoy your time at their home made you think of how he must be such a caring brother and person overall. After finishing drinking your refreshments, he refused your help to clean up, one could only imagine how he must be a person of service.

Let's just say that Keita was even more reluctant to invite you over again.

-----

It was a Friday and classes were dismissed, but unfortunately, club time was scheduled so students couldn't go home yet. Well, it was unfortunate for most but not for you. Why? Club time was a time to see the person you joined the club for.

"Hurry up Keita!!"

"Damn be patient for one second, he probably isn't there yet!"

"Well I can't risk wasting a second to see him"

"Ok dang!" Keita huffs as he quickly shoves his things into his bag.

The two of you set off to your club room as you shared the same club, photography club, to be exact. As you reached the club room, a second-year classroom, it was already set in groups meaning that every four desks were put together to face one another. You hurried to sit at the group table upfront while Keita followed you. Both of you sat, facing one another.

"Remind me why I even joined."

"Because the club president is always open to share his limitless expertise on photography." You matter-a-factly say

"Well, well, well, don't we have two early-birds here."

You turned around towards the entrance door to see Park Hanbin, a senior and the club president, in all of his glory. He struts towards the front of the classroom and sits on the teacher's desk, "Don't mind me here, let's wait for the others to come. Go do whatever you kids do these days."

You try to subtlety stare at the blue-haired man who was looking at his camera's gallery, he was chic and never afraid to make a statement hence the blue hair. A confident man was so appealing as they would hold themselves in a manner that is sharp and takes your attention in a fraction of a second.

Keita couldn't help but roll his eyes at you and the situation he was in. It seemed as if his eyes would roll out of his eyes until two people approached your table.

"Uhm hey are these seats available or are you guys saving it for other people?" A boy with brown hair questions the two of you, behind him was another boy with black hair seemingly trying not to look at the both of you.

"Those seats are free, you can sit with us if that's what you intend." Keita answers for the both of you as you were to occupied admiring the club president still on his camera.

"Awesome! Thanks!" The brunette ushers the other boy to sit beside you and then sits beside Keita, "Oh, my name's Jay by the way and my friend over here is Kamden!"

"Eyy, I'm Keita and that over there is [name]. I wouldnt blame you if you forget their name, their pretty irrelevant." Keita smiles warmly at Jay and Kamden

"I think they're pretty cool.." Kamden murmurs side-eyeing you

"Really?" Keita looked like the whole world was upside down

"Ohh yeah! I think [name] is pretty cool too! Me and Kamden think everyone's cool!" Jay tries to laugh it off

"You guys sure are enthusiastic.. I like that!" Keita says enthusiastically to which Jay smiles widely to

More people started pouring in and soon Park Hanbin started to lecture the people in the classroom about types of photography. He shows his own examples of the type of photography he was explaining, be it shadows, clouds, and the lot.

A person listening to him could see how passionate he was about photography and what he was doing. The way he led the class on photography was exemplary and showed off the authority he had in the matter which was so very intriguing to you.

While you stared at Hanbin, Kamden stared at your focused state. Your eyes didn't waver from Hanbin at all and your hand jot down notes so quickly about what the club president was lecturing. Your dedication was entertaining compared to the long and never-ending talks of Hanbin.

Soon, another bell rung, signaling that club time was over but Park Hanbin didn't let anyone go yet. He had already locked the exit door prior and was guarding the entrance door. He had the key to exit door and was tauntingly showcasing it on the palm of his hand. His wit was applaudable to you and you didn't mind doing overtime unlike the others who were waiting to go home.

Once Hanbin had actually finished his lecture and dismissed the class, he didn't forget to tell everyone that he was free for any questions anytime. You couldn't help but sigh, you were enthralled at how the boy was willing to sacrifice so much time on photography.

"We should definitely hang out together sometime!" Keita finger-guns Jay and Kamden

"Yo, that'd be awesome! You love that idea dont you, Kamden?" Jay wiggles his eyebrows

"If it's alright with [name]"

"Eh, don't worry about them. Hey, [name]!" Keita calls for your attention

"Y-yeah?" You say caught off-guard by your day-dreaming

"Y-y-y-yeah" Keita mocks you

"Not cool" Kamden says while Jay laughs and pats Kamden on the back, seemingly trying to play what Kamden said as a joke.

"Because I'm a nice person who's considerate of others' feelings, I would like to ask you if it'd be alright to hang out with these fine gentlemen." Keita shows off Jay and Kamden

You roll your eyes and finally get a good look at the two boys whom you didn't pay much attention to earlier. You pointed at Kamden, shaking your index finger. He was familiar and you were trying to remember where you knew him from. Kamden starts to fidget with his hands under the weight of your stare.

"Leave the poor man alone, [name]. I'm your only friend, don't scare off potential other friends."

"N-no, it's alright." Kamden's face starts to turn slightly red and the pace of his fidgeting hands quicken.

You suddenly snap your fingers, "You were my classmate once, yeah?" You excitedly ask after remembering

"Oh, yeah" Kamden cooly says, stopping his hands from fidgeting.

"Great! You know each other, let's hang out!" Jay excitedly claps, jumping up and down.

"Yeah, you guys totally made that boring lecture fun." Keita smiles

"You wouldn't be saying that if you listened." You defend your club president.

"I did try to, but I couldn't because it was boring." Keita shows you a thumbs-down.

"I thought it was fun" Kamden says monotonously

"Ofcourse you found it fun" Jay wiggles his eyebrows

------

"[name]" A gruff voice calls out to you

You look over to Keita and see him awake

"Whew, you're alive" You jokingly whisper, though a part of you wasn't really joking.

"I've been awake for a while now" Keita admits to you

"Oh"

"And I've been thinking that I should just let you be on your love for older guys."

"Yah, let's not talk about that for now." You say not wanting to feel even more guilty.

"I can actually hook you up with an older guy, you know?"

"What? I said let's not talk about that right now."

"You were born on 2001, right"

"Same year as you" You say, giving up and soaking in your guilt.

"You know Kamden was born in the year 2000."

"He's in the year level as us though? Our year is only filled with people born in 2001 to 2002, as far as I know."

"Yeah he and his twin were placed in our grade level during first grade, for some reason, probably enrolled late."

"Oh"

"He always acted older than us, no?"

"Oh"

"I could help you guys get together"

"Oh"

"Did I mention that he was the older twin?"

"Oh"

You sat in silence as Keita kept talking. You didn't know that Kamden was older than you, you always assumed you were the same age.

"Keita, you're awake! You wouldn't believe how mad Ms. Lee was at Kamden!" Jay threw himself at Keita

"Hey" You jumped slightly on your seat as Kamden placed his hand on your shoulder, "I just said hey, no need to be scared." Keita chuckles lowly at you, his Adam's apple moving ever so slightly.

Was Kamden's voice this deep? Did Kamden have eudermic hands all this time? Why is Kamden looking at you so intensely?

"Did you drink the water I gave you?"

You could only nod. This make Kamden tilt his head at you and scrunch his eyebrows together. He looked like a lost cat, you thought. His eyes were sparkling like a cat's. His hair was fluffy like cat's fur. His pink pout resembled a cat's smile when its purs.

"Yo Kamden, what's your type?" Keita loudly asks for the boy's attention, holding Jay in his arms

"Hey, hey?" Jay questions, smiling and wiggling his eyebrows like he always does

"Why?" Kamden plainly asks

"Oh you know.." Keita ponders for a short while, "Someone might be interested in you and I happen to be their helper."

"Well, they shouldn't really change themselves for me if that's the case."

Was Kamden always thoughtful? You asked yourself, and then your thoughts started to spiral. Did Kamden ever care for other people? Was Kamden always this considerate of others? Now that you thought about it, Kamden always acted more mature than the average person your age.

"It's club time right?" Keita asks and everyone turned to look at you expectantly. That included Kamden, who was now looking back at you.

Unknowingly you had been staring at Kamden but you didn't break your gaze as he reciprocated your stare. His eyes were intriguing, a really dark brown that was almost black. It was under small lids and small eyelashes and over slightly dark eyebags. Kamden always took his studies seriously, it wasn't a secret to you that he didn't want to be overtaken by his twin brother, hence, why he worked hard. Kamden always worked hard, you remembered how he would always be awake at late hours of the night. Citing the times you would message him during those late hours and he would always respond, under the reason that he was awake because of an assignement or studying. Now that you thought about it, Kamden was always available for you, when either Jay was asleep or Keita was ignoring you, Kamden always answered whatever idiocracy or academic question you had. His attentiveness towards you had made you more motivated as his his constant help made an assignment easier, a sad moment less sad, and a day happier. You could always rely on Kamden to be there for you, always.

"Earth to [name]" Keita mimics an echo, repeating your name repeatedly and each time in a softer volume all the while smirking

"Oh yeah what is it?" You snap out of your trance and look over to Keita

"I said, isn't it club right now?"

"Ohh yeahh" You suddenly remembered

"So, I can't go and I need someone to bring me home because my mom can't pick me up" Keita smugly says

"Maybe [name] can bring you home." Jay suggests as he quickly brings his index finger to Keita's mouth to sush him and quickly retracts it, seemingly trying to stop Keita from refusing his suggestion.

"No, club is important to [name]. I can bring you home." Kamden refutes Jay's suggestion

Kamden really is thoughtful, you thought.

Kamden's statement seemingly makes Jay and Keita smile knowingly at each other, "You know what? I remembered that I left my house key in Jay's locker. Jay should bring me home."

"Oh yeah, right, totally. Kamden and [name], you guys go to club without us, I'll bring Keita home." Jay says gesturing the both of his hands for the both of you to go.

"Alright" Kamden looks suspiciously at the pair and gently pulls on your forearm, signaling for the both of you to go, "You don't want to be anymore late, yeah?"

Kamden really was well-mannered, you remembered how he would always touch you gently whenever needed. You also remembered how he would always remind you of things whether it'd be to take care of yourself or of other things, Kamden was always so put-together, "Yeah".

--------

"Well, well, well, I'd never thought the two of you would be late." Park Hanbin's voice booms in the middle of his lecture as he sees Kamden and [name] entering from the front door, "Especially this late"

"Apologies, our friend wanted to see us at the clinic before going home. Keita and Jay won't be present." Kamden says quickly to Hanbin

"Ahh, yes, yes, I guess one of you youngsters was the one who choked earlier lunch." Hanbin clasps his hands together, "Well, hurry up and get seated, I'll excuse your tardiness today. Try not to get in any more trouble, kay? [name], right?"

Kamden nods for you as you seemed to be pre-occupied being in a daze and softly grabs your wrist to lead you to the unoccupied seats at the back.

Once the two of you were seated, Kamden found difficulty in letting you wrist go. Sure, the two of you had frequent physical contact but it led for the boy to yearn for more. You were warm on days that he wanted warmth and you were cold on days that he wanted to cool down. Simply holding you for a few seconds wasn't enough.

But Kamden had to have boundaries, he didn't want to make you uncomfortable, that was what he didn't want to do the most. So, he lets go of you. He stares at you longingly, you were looking down at your desk, so he couldn't necessarilly see your face well. It didn't matter though as he remembers your face well, already having memorized you from his moments with you, moments where you were afar, and moments in his imagination.

Whether you were frowning, smiling or resting, Kamden found his eyes at ease in making you the default to look at. When your face rests, Kamden rests, making looking at you an easy job that paid in time seeing you, a better pay was almost non-existent. When your face frowns, Kamden worries. He doesn't frown incase it would lower your spirits down, rather, he tries to cheer you up indirectly, whether it'd be buying you drinks or taking care of measly tasks for you. When he knows what's making you frown or when you tell him yourself, he's more than motivated to give you small words of encouragement. When your face smiles, Kamden tries not to smile. It's almost impossible but he manages everytime to hold his smile in. He's the happiest when you smile genuinely because it's what makes you happy.

Kamden wants to be happy. That's what a normal person wants.

So, he started talking with Park Hanbin a while ago. He asked for an opportunity to see the upperclassmen in the guise that he wanted extra photography lessons. The ulterior motive was to get the older boy to take an interest in you. In the so called "extra photography lessons", he would slip in a good word or two about you. After the lesson, he would ask for another one, continuing his act of making you look good infront of Hanbin. It wasn't hard as he would just list down the things he liked about you. When he would take pictures of clouds, he would tell Hanbin how you were imaginative and creative, how you frequently said how a cloud resembled a persian cat you once owned named "Grill", no matter how far from the truth the cloud was. When Hanbin would tell him to change his shutter speed, Kamden would relay how you would always explain the different shutter speeds to him for different outputs, saying how diligent of a club member of the photography club you were and how you would always listen to Hanbin's lectures.

Soon enough, he didn't have to try and involve you in the lessons as Hanbin would now be the one to frequently ask questions about you. Hanbin was well-mannered, passionate and most importantly, older than you.

That's what you had always wanted in a partner, the two of you would be a good match, you would be happy. Kamden would always think about you being happy. That would make him happy.

Kamden reminisces the older times

-----------

It was a sunny day, much to everyone's luck from a certain class in 4th grade. It was this class' class field trip day to an aquarium. Kamden wouldn't lie, he was happy to spend time with his friends socializing for once. So, he looked forward for the field trip.

On the bus ride to the aquarium, obnoxious noise resounded from the back. Kamden looks back and sees the infamous group of boys from his class who were known to be free-loaders on group assignments and obnoxious in general.

Unfortunately, Kamden was groupmates for school projects with one of the boys from that group. What was worse was that he was the group leader and had just enough of the free-loading boy. This led to Kamden snitching to his teacher about how the boy had never contributed anything and pleading for fair treatment. Kamden could only surmise that the teacher had a talking-to with the boy as the boy was unusually less-vulgar around him, it made him uneasy. This uneasiness wasn't reduced in any way as he would be almost sure that he'd hear his name every now and then whenever the group of obnoxious boys talked with each other.

Once the bus dropped off the class at the aquarium, the field trip went smoothly. Kamden was having fun with his friends, pointing at sharks and unique sea creatures along the way. That was until a bucket of ice cream was splattered across the hallway they were walking on. The culprit? The group of obnoxious free-loading boys, though some of the boys were missing and that included Kamden's free-loading groupmate.

"Oh no. Hey Kamden fetch us a mop would ya? You're the tallest after all." One of the obnoxious boys smugly asks

"Why should he? You guys made that mess." Kamden turns his head to see that you were the one to defend him.

"Well Mrs. Ban sure would stop this field trip if she found out that we made a mess, that's her nature. Doesn't matter who did it, everyone will face the consequence." One of the obnoxious boys seethed, "Let's not waste time, shall we? The sooner you get this cleaned, the more chance that Mrs. Ban won't find out."

You looked like you were going to say something back but Kamden wanted to get this over with, "Alright, I'll get a mop." Kamden turns to the other direction to set out for the cleaning supplies.

Kamden remembers that an aquarium staff had instructed the class to clean up after any mess they made and mapped out where the cleaning supplies were.

"So you're just going to follow me?" Kamden awkwardly side-eyes you

"I thought that maybe the mop might be too big or heavy for you to carry alone."

"Oh" He dryly says

"Where's Mrs. Ban anyway, isn't she supposed to watch over us?" You try to make conversation

"Yeah.." Kamden really didn't know how to respond to you

The two of you walked in silence, Kamden never really interacted with you in class and never bumped into you in past school years, so, it was akward to talk to you now. Kamden and you further set out to the cleaning supplies and then reached the echinoderms part of the aquarium. The aquarium became quiet. He guessed that no one found echinoderms interesting. Though, that silence was quickly shattered,

"Well if it isn't the snitch, Kamden." His free loading groupmate tauntingly says, "The snitch Kamden, fell right into my trap."

The other missing members of the obnoxious group laugh, revealing themselves.

"And now, he's gonna pay for being a snitch." The obnoxious boys crack their knuckles while Kamden is paralyzed, not knowing what to do. He was outnumbered, but so he thought.

"Did you know that starfishes are part of echinoderms." You say matter-a-factly rather than questioning, "Starfishes unlike their organism name aren't actually fishes, they don't have gills, scales, or fins like a normal fish, and also have no blood."

You continue your banter, not letting anyone interrupt you by raising you tone of voice whenever someone did try. Kamden stares at and listens to you. He never really saw this side of you, you were loud and guarding when needed to, he guessed. The more he listened to you, the more he assumes that you were passionate about certain things, like starfishes, he guessed. Though he was confused at your sudden banter, he couldn't really complain, as it was preventing him from being beaten up. Soon enough, your banters were becoming interesting to him.

"Starfish are actually edible and safe to consume but certain species are poisonous and dangerous, so, be careful on what kind of starfish you eat. That's how my cat died." You suddenly halt your banter.

Kamden snaps out of his trance and looks to where the group of obnoxious boys were. They weren't there anymore.

"Seemed like you scared them off." Kamden tries to awkwardly joke with you, "Oh uh, sorry about your cat."

----------

"Hey Kamden, what club should we join?" Jay excitedly shakes Kamden, "There's so many options"

As Jay jumps up and down, Kamden stares at you and Keita who were conversing, just infront of him and Jay. It was club opening day, wherein multiple booths of each club were placed in the school field, to let students to choose their clubs and for club officers to recruit people into their clubs. Though it was noisy and there were a lot of people passing by, he could still hear your's and Keita's conversation.

"You're joining photography club for a singular guy?" Keita asks in disbelief

"Well, that singular guy is extremely talented."

"Extremely talented at scaring and boreing people away."

"You don't have to join me, I'm not changing my mind." You cross your arms, "Besides, I'm not hurting anyone by my own choice."

Keita groans, "You do know that you're my only friend right now, can you be a little lenient?"

"I'm joining photography club."

Jay seems to catch on to what Kamden was distracted by, "Heyy, you're staring at them again"

"Huh, oh what, no."

"Hmmm sure, what's their name by the way?"

"[name]"

"So you were staring at them! No less eavesdropping!"

Kamden's eyes widen, "Lower your voice, would you?"

"Photography club, huh. I heard the club president is scary but I guess their adamant on joining."

"Their always passionate on what they like."

Jay wiggles his eyebrows at Kamden who has not stopped staring at you, "You know what? I kinda want to join the photography club, Kamden."

---------

"Here" Kamden gives you a drink

"What is this for?"

"Nothing, I just thought to give you some."

"You keep buying me drinks, I'm starting to feel guilty."

"You always feel guilty when you shouldn't. Besides, you buy me food a lot of the time, don't you remember?"

"I guess.."

Kamden sits beside you on the bench. Silence sets in, the both of you don't hang out much alone without Keita and Jay. It just so happened that you and Keita fought, and Jay went off to cool Keita down.

"Do you and Jay fight alot?" You break the silence

"I ignore him alot but Jay isn't the type to argue."

"Do you argue?"

"Not really, arguing is tiring." Kamden pats your back gently, "Though, it's normal to fight. It happens when you care enough for something or someone."

You stay silent, sipping on the drink Kamden gave you.

"Not to say I don't care for Jay." Kamden laughs awkwardly, "It's just that people have different ways of showing how they care for things."

"I get what your saying now, you can stop being uncomfortable. Sorry I involved you guys." You take a sip of your drink, "You know, you sound like a 70-year old guy sometimes."

"So you're into me?" Kamden joke

You laugh and clutch your stomach, not being able to stop laughing. Kamden chuckles, your smile was enticing. It was serene and alleviated the stress he was currently going through. He then realizes that it was always like that, his problems seemed to be solved whenever you were around, even if you just simply smiled. What you did to him was amazing.

"You know, I started liking older guys since I was a kid." You said in between laughs, "There was this teenager who worked at the zoo my family frequented at and he would always entertain the kids. He was handsome, confident but well-mannered, would cheer up any kid crying, and would slip a piece of candy every now and then. He'd tell me facts about wildlife, but he was especially passionate about sea animals, more specifically, starfishes. He said they were the easiest to look after. His words influenced me so much that I would beg my family to buy me a starfish but they found it weird. One day the guy asked me if I wanted to look after something for him. I said yes because I wanted to impress him and so, he gave me a white fluffy cat. My family was mad because they'd thought that I stole an animal from the zoo. So, they took me and the cat back to the zoo, only to find out that the cat wasn't part of the zoo's care and that the guy that gave me the cat quit the day of. My family decided that I should just keep the cat. I don't really remember much of what happened during that time but a thought always stuck to me, I'm going to marry a guy just like him."

Kamden listened to you intensely throughout your talk.

"I'm sorry, I probably bored you to death" you chuckle

"No, no. I like hearing whatever you have to say." It was true, he always did, and he always wants to hear you. He always wants to see you, he always wants to be close to you, but he wasn't your type. So, Kamden tries ever so slightly to not smile at you, afraid that he might want you more. He didn't want to reach a point where he would try to take you, try to ruin your dreams of marrying an older guy.

-------

Kamden stares at you, you were still looking down at your table. He couldn't deny the fact that he didn't want you, he loved you. Wanting you was superficial, he didn't want to claim or force you to be there with him 24/7, he just wanted you happy. He realized that when he started setting you and Hanbin together. If he wanted you, he wouldn't be doing what he did. Who didn't want you to be happy though? Your face was too loveable, your eyes yearned for passion, your lips creased to spread melodies of joy, and you were staring back at him.

Kamden gets caught off guard, how long have you been staring back at him?

"And that's it for today! You're all dismissed, except you, [name], can you stay for a bit?" Park Hanbin disrupts Kamden's thoughts.

This was it. Kamden thought. He gently pats your shoulder and gives you a thumbs up. You look confusedly at him.

"Good luck" Kamden whispers to you, subtly pointing at Hanbin with his thumb.

As he starts to walk towards the door, you stand up to follow him but he stops you at your place, "Don't ruin this for me" he whispers to you and quickly exits the scene.

--------

It was 4 A.M. in the morning, Kamden had trouble sleeping. "How were you doing?" Circled in his mind a lot. He didn't reply to any messages Jay and Keita sent him, asking him how his time with you went. Infact, he had turned his phone off as soon as he reached his bed from school.

"Ding"

A notification went off on his phone. It was you. He only had his notifications on for you. He rushed to open his phone.

"Can you come to that Cafe next to school tomorrow? 12PM? I'm nervous. Bring your tumbler by the way"

Before he rushed to respond to you, he saw a text message from Hanbin that was sent earlier at 6PM.

"Hey, hey, hey, Kamden! tha cafe nxt to the schol tmrrw @12PM!!!"

Hanbin had asked you out on a date. You were probably nervous so he responds to your text message to agree to be the third-wheel.

"Yeah. Goodluck. Dont be nervous, I'll be there :)" Kamden responds only to you. He waits for your reply that doesn't come.

--------

11:00AM, Kamden was one hour early. Due to the lack of sleep, he had forgotten his phone but somehow remembered to bring his water bottle.

11:30AM, You arrive, Kamden doesn't make himself known, to try and not disrupt any momentum on your date with Hanbin.

12:00PM, Hanbin was supposed to arrive by now, maybe he was just a little late. You start texting away on your phone.

12:30PM, Hanbin still hadn't arrived, Kamden started to get angry. He would've texted Hanbin himself asking where was he but he didn't have his phone with him.

1:00PM, It seemed like you were stood up, so you left the cafe.

Kamden couldn't express how angry he was, you? Were stood up? Kamden thought that Hanbin was a man, a man good enough for you. But he assumed wrong. He was angry at himself for assuming so wrong, for letting you get stood up. He follows you out the cafe.

"Hey, [name]! I'm sorry, I didn't know he would be that type of guy." He says catching up to you

"Oh, there you are. Where were you?" You ask seemingly upset at Kamden

"I was in the cafe, I didn't want to interrupt your date with Hanbin but he never showed up." Kamden sighs "I'm so sorry [name]"

"Date? I just texted you to meet me at the Cafe at 12. What do you mean date with Hanbin?" You ask, growing frustrated.

"Oh, you weren't going on a date with Hanbin?" Kamden looks confusedly at you, infamously tilting his head.

"No! I just wanted to talk with you, what made you think that?"

"Oh well you guys talked alone yesterday, so I thought.."

"So you thought what? Look, I just wanted to talk to you. I don't know how you reached to that conclusion." You look away at Kamden, too frustrated.

"I'm sorry it's just that I was trying to make Hanbin like you by telling him nice things about you and that's why I thought he asked you out on a date yesterday." Kamden confesses to you

"What?" You look back at Kamden

Kamden stays silent, accepting his fate that you were going to end your friendship right then and there.

"So, you were just trying to set us together?" You gulp down on your words, "So, you don't like me?"

Kamden's eyes widen, "I like you! No, I love you! Wait, where? I love you a lot. Where did you hear that, love?" Once he ended his sentence, he wanted to end his life. Why would he say it like that?

"So, you like me?" You confusedly ask

"I love you" He couldn't stop his mouth from opening and releasing awkward things out in the wild

"I love you too then."

Kamden doesn't believe your words, "What about Hanbin?"

"Hanbin? He told me that you liked me alot. He said that you wouldn't stop talking about me."

"Oh"

"I love you" You smile awkwardly at Kamden

Kamden puts his hands on either sides of your shoulders, "I was born on June 9, 2001, emphasis on 2001, the same year as you. I'm not any older than you are."

"Oh really?" You weren't surprised anymore that Keita would lie to you, "That doesn't change anything though. I love you." You smile awkwardly yet again at Kamden.

"Why though?" Kamden raises his voice, bringing his hands up to the nape of your neck, "I'm not older than you, like that guy from the zoo."

"You remembered." You say not surprised, "That's why I love you."

Your answer was vague but Kamden understood you, he always did, "You know I'm the younger twin right?" He asks in disbelief, bringing his hands up from your nape to cup your face.

"I love you."

Kamden doesn't say it back but he does bring your faces closer to one another. Close enough that his lips touched yours.

_______

This story has reached to its end. I don't know whether or not Kamden is the younger twin or not, I pulled it out of my ass. A lot of what I wrote was pulled out from my ass. If you saw that Chainsaw Man reference, you didn't. I'm sorry if you read all of that and found it underwhelming or not good in general. I tried my best. I might make a ZB1 x reader fiction story, might. Thank you for spending your time reading.

------

[hainethehero]

Just to follow up on the last ask about forgiving - right off the bat, you had an excellent point. I don't want to distract from that. Actually quite a few points. Were people sending death threats for real?!?! Anyway, one thing that's been bothering me. Is the real world views that people are enforcing. Along with this 'rule' that a character has to be redeemed/good in order to like. Like, why should I have to 'forgive' or have some stranger on the internet tell me 'they forgive' a character in order to like them. And why does the character have to have changed? I don't want to go on a tangent, but gosh if Tommy was still pulling the 'I'm a straight cis white guy card' to fly under the radar and told Buck to do it, and Buck did. That would make for interesting TV as Buck realized what he was doing was wrong/ hurting his friends and then his, Hen and Chim and Eddie could really bond/bring forward a compelling racism story line. Like, we could see that, and it wouldn't have to be a bad thing! AND! AND! Imagine how that would help the buck/tommy ship. Tommy's new boyfriend helping him to come out, not just when it's easy. Everyone wins!

But if we even saw a hint of one of Buck's LI's being anything but good and pure. And I'm picking on Buck here I know, this happens in a lot of other cases. But as we are seeing with Tommy in real time. Then we have to hate them.

I have no problem liking a villainous character that stays bad. And maybe that's why it seems odd to me that people say, 'oh they've done bad things, you can't like them.' Cause then I can't love my bad guys from say the comics! Or some of the heroes from the comics, either! But that's not exactly the problem I keep circling here and getting distracted from making this ask about - I'm rambling even when typing oie.

I think the real, main thing that I've been getting annoyed with, is the use of real world views to make people in fandom fall in line. Ignoring the real world and real people for a moment. Why does a POC person have to forgive Tommy, a not real person, in order for everyone to be allowed to like the character? We're each a monolithic group of separate minorities with one voice. There's no collective that can condemn or atone a person officially.

On the flip side, I know not everyone takes in media the same way. So my view of liking a character if I find them entertaining, even if they're a bad guy. Won't be the same for everyone. So a person who has dealt with some form of discrimination totally could see a character who does that form of discrimination and hate them for it. They could see the in-depth arch of 'redemption' or the throwaway line saying the character has changed. And for personal reasons choose to still not like the character. Or the character could still be flawed (art imitates life after all and no one is perfect) and they could still not 'forgive' or like the character.

But why does that mean everyone else needs to seek permission to do it? To say 'oh this character did bad things, but I can look past it, they've changed' or god forbid 'this is a character with flaws or is just bad' and still like the character.

It's also funny cause in Tommy's case, I don't really remember the begins episodes. Someone keeps brining up a guy named Sal to ship Eddie with now. And I'm like, who now? But anyway. I don't even remember Tommy from those episodes and a lot of other people who just tune in to watch week to week and all the new people who just started this season. Were probably like me and didn't realize Tommy was around before! Which doesn't really matter, I'm just now wondering how to clue up this ask.

So glad I can do this anonymously and not reveal to the world how awkward I can be when trying to communicate via the written word.

This was a bit confusing but I'll try my best.

First, yes, people were sending death threats both to Lou and Tim.

NO ONE is saying we can only forgive a character who did questionable things if POCs forgive them. I am stating that if POC have the right to dislike/have reservations about characters who showed racist behaviour in the past despite having redeemable qualities. No one has the right to police pocs about their feelings towards a character like that.

The initial point however, is that a large part of the fandom sees Tommy as the show meant to portray him- a flawed character who eventually reconciled his relationship with Hen and Chim. Tommy isn't a villain. He's literally a flawed character who was given a redemption montage in order to show how different the 118 was under Gerrard's racist and oppressive leadership versus Bobby's.

If anyone's a villain, it's Jonah. It's Gerrard. It's people with actual distorted complexes who just wanted to hurt people because they could.

And while Tommy's behaviour under Gerrard was bad and cannot be excused, it can and was explained by the show, that it was because of the environment fostered by the bigot Captain Gerrard. A layer of nuance is added when we find out in s7 that Tommy was actually very closeted in the 118 BECAUSE of Gerrard, hence the reason why he joined in on the questionable behaviour. Once Chimney saved him (and also humbled him) and Hen eviscerated them rightfully with her monologue speaking out against their racism, the power dynamic began to change. Gerrard was booted out and Tommy, Hen and Chimney became close friends, as evidenced by the farewell party they had for him, and the fact that they frequented that bar to hang out after work.