#bisexuality means regardless of gender

[perfect-bi-paradise]

I saw your post saying that bisexuality is the attraction to men, women and nonbinary people (all genders) and it's NOT the attraction to men and women only. I always thought pansexuality was the attraction to men, women and nonbinary people (all genders) and bisexuality was the attraction to men and women only so I'm confused by this post. Does this mean pansexuality is the attraction to men and women only? Did I get them the wrong way round?

The best answer I have to explain this is from my favorite bi page on Facebook and a link to a very good article about bisexual history.

So I wanna start off and say that I understand your confusion. A lot of people I'm sad to say have grown up with a very limited understanding of bisexuality because with the exception of a lucky few, most of us didn't have access to bisexual history or activism and got the bare minimum and narrow description of bisexuality which is the common "attracted to men and woman."

While bisexuals being attracted to men and woman is a technically correct definition since bisexuality does include them, it's not the whole truth and leaves out about 99% of the entire story. What people think that pansexuality is, is in truth what bisexuality has always been.

When it comes to there being a "difference" between bi and pan, honestly there really is no difference between Bi or Pan that many bisexuals cis, trans, and nonbinary alike have pointed out, doesn't end up relying on biphobia, transphobia, bi-erasure of bisexual history or just a lot of misinformation.

The whole reason pansexuality even became popular is because a 2002 Live Journal post by a teenager who also had no knowledge of bisexuality or it's history, said bisexuality was transphobic and only included cis men & woman which ended up spreading biphobia, and transphobia from there because the overwhelming majority of people just didn't have anyone to say "hey that's wrong, this is what bisexuality is" and set the record straight.

In reality bisexuality has always included and welcomed trans, nonbinary, and gender non conforming people even before we had modern terminology to describe them.

The definition "Regardless of gender" itself was invented by bisexual activists to define bisexuality and the modern bisexual movement that started in the 70's. So regardless of gender is bisexualities real definition.

Many people inappropriately try to use the "bi" prefix to argue what bisexuality should mean, and that is called an etymology fallacy. The "bi" in bisexuality doesn't represent a quantity of genders and never has. It refers to bridging the attraction patterns of homo (same as) and hetero (different from) which covers all regardless of gender because it's not based on gender in the first place. People using etymological fallacies to define bi as binary to justify biphobia is wrong and in the end hurts bisexuals. Though I'm just explaining and in no way accusing anybody of doing so.

Unfortunately since a lie and misinformation spread faster than the truth it's taken 20 years to put the pieces of knowledge of what bisexuality truly means back together that were lost or buried due to bi-erasure.

To quote Bisexual activists Janet Bode who invented the definition of regardless of gender in her book (The Pressure Cooker) : "Being bisexual does not mean having sexual relations with both sexes, but that they are capable of meaningful and intimate involvement with a person regardless of gender" - 1976

[apathyandmischief]

Not bi as in any, bi as in ALL

[perfect-bi-paradise]

Hey everyone, I'd like to take a moment to talk about a somewhat misunderstood bisexual symbol. This symbol consists of four symbols linked together; these are the signs for female, infinity, intersex, and male. Now what makes this symbol misunderstood to the point many bisexuals reject it's use is that they see the gendered male and female symbols and believe it only represents attraction to only two genders, a notion the bisexual community has rejected about bisexuality itself. What many people fail to realize is the infinity symbol ♾ part between them and what that represents. The infinity symbol is there to represent the gender spectrum and bisexualities natural fluidity, meaning that bisexuality links both binary sexes and all genders! In viewing infinity as an endless bridging between both sex and gender which is where the intersex symbol comes in since bisexuality was not only a term for a persons sexuality, but was also at one point used to describe a person who is intersex. This was one of the reasons "Hearts Not parts" was originally founded as a bisexual term and beautifully shows in-between female and male there are infinitely more genders and possibilities and Bisexuality in regards to not being limited by sex or gender automatically recognizes and includes them all.

[elvhenmage]

this may not go over well but i want to say something before dav comes out because this GI article quote is really bothering me:

"As pansexual companions, they are attracted to people of any gender (or regardless of gender)."

bisexuality and pansexuality are functionally the same thing. both sexualities are defined by being attracted to people of any gender and/or regardless of gender. i don't care if you personally identify as pan, i’m not attacking the label itself here because that’s not the point. i’m just saying they mean the same thing and i'm asking all of you in advance (especially people who are not bisexual) to please be careful with the way you talk about bisexuality wrt pansexuality because it is unfortunately very common for pansexuality to be lauded as "more progressive" than bisexuality by people who don't know bi history.

bisexuality has been documented since at least the 70s to be trans/nb inclusive and to not be limited by gender or sexuality. pansexuality is not more progressive than bisexuality. they're the same. please do not bring back the "hearts not parts" mentality. okay? cool.

here's some links to check out: one, two, three, four, five

[starkidmunson]

damned if i do (give a damn what people say)

It seems Steve Harrington is back off the market

The latest news on the pop star’s love life comes mere weeks after word of a fallout with longtime beau, journalist Nancy Wheeler. While neither party has confirmed the rumors, many of Harrington’s closest friends have hinted at the end of the relationship in interviews and on social media.

One thing everyone failed to mention, however, is that Harrington appears to have moved on and is now dating Corroded Coffin front-man, Eddie Munson.

The two have been friends for years, tracing as far back as the early 2010s, though it’s difficult to put a pin in exactly when they met. Neither are particularly vocal about their personal lives and often change the subject when the other comes up in an interview; a diversion tactic they’ve been playing for years.

Still, the alleged new couple has been spotted around some of Harrington’s favorite Manhattan hot spots several times over the past week.

The rockstar has a bit of an edgier vibe than Harrington’s usual flings; more outspoken and unpredictable than the ‘type’ Steve has typically shown an interest in; at least publicly.

Only time will tell if “Steddie” (so dubbed by the fans in support of the relationship) is true… and if they’ll last.

_____

“I can’t believe they think I’m dating Eddie,” Steve grumbled into the pillow on the floor of his hotel room. With a huff, he turned his head and looked off to the wall on the far side of the room. “I mean, it’s crazy that I can’t go out to dinner with anyone besides you and not be on a date.”

Robin leveled her foot to the center of his back, before shifting her weight onto it, then grinned in satisfaction as Steve groaned and his back popped loudly in several places. “It’s not like it’s that surprising. The tabloids went feral over you and Nancy breaking up after they were convinced you guys were already secretly married.” She shifted her weight back off him, dropping to sit cross-legged beside Steve. “Plus, it’s not that much of a stretch.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Steve asked, pushing himself up until he was sitting with his back against the wall, leg stretched out against Robin’s.

“It means you two have never looked at each other the way friends do. It makes sense that they’re picking that up.” Robin shrugged, brushing off her comment like it wasn’t shattering part of Steve’s bubble.

“We look at each other totally normally!”

The look Robin leveled Steve with had him pushing himself up off the floor and making his way toward the bathroom.

“I don’t have time for this right now, I need to start getting ready, but we don’t do anything normal friends wouldn’t because that’s what we are, Robin!”

“Are you trying to convince yourself of that, or me?” Robin asked and sighed heavily when Steve slammed the bathroom door closed in response.

It was only about five minutes before there was a familiar knock at the door; three in quick succession, followed by two after a short pause.

“I think we need to talk, sweetheart,” was understandable, despite being muffled by the door, before Steve was racing out of the bathroom to beat Robin to undoing the locks and letting Eddie in. “Why didn’t you tell me we’re dating?” Eddie asked through a pout, leaned against the doorframe.

Steve rolled his eyes and moved out of the way, letting Eddie follow him inside, before pointing at Robin. “See! Very much not dating!”

“Well,” Eddie started, teasingly, only to get hit in the face with a pillow from Steve’s bed. “I’m kidding, Steve. It’s not even a bad thing. I mean, they’re actually being really fucking cool about you being bisexual.”

“Being out as bi doesn’t mean that every person, regardless of their gender, is automatically my love interest just because I breathed near them.” Steve snapped, obviously frustrated despite Eddie’s attempts to ease the situation.

“Hey. Don’t get mean. You know what’s not what Eddie meant.” Robin responded. Steve looked back and forth between the two of them for a long moment, before he collapsed, face first, onto his mattress with a loud groan.

“C’mon, there’s no need to meltdown over this. If you want me to, I can post something about catching up with old friends to try to make it go away.” Eddie offered, gently, sitting down on the opposite side of the bed from Steve.

It took a long beat, but Steve eventually lifted his head from his pillows and shrugged. “I don’t want to make you do anything like that. It’s fine. It’ll all work out in the end. I'm just having a weird day, I guess.”

Eddie raised an eyebrow, and when Steve didn’t elaborate, he turned his head to Robin, who shrugged.

“Nancy texted him this morning asking to not talk about her at shows and he’s been in a sour mood about it since.”

“Robin!” Steve groaned, pressing his face back into his pillow miserably.

“Have you been, though?” Eddie asked, confused. “Talking about her, I mean? I thought I was doing a decent job at getting the highlights and I have no memory of you dropping anything profound about you and Nance on any crowds.”

“Not directly,” Steve spoke into his pillow, before turning his head and staring at the wall as he answered. “I made a few comments about my songs. How to get someone back. How to gaslight someone into thinking you love them before letting everything go at the drop of a hat for one of your best friends.”

A silence settled over the room for a moment, before Eddie burst into giggles, which set Robin off. Eventually Steve joined in, turning his attention to the two of them with a heavy sigh.

“I guess I was an asshole about it, huh?”

“I think it’s justifiable.” Eddie offered, to which Robin nodded in agreement as she started toying with Steve’s hair. “If you feel like you’re going to say something about Nancy, you could always say something to me instead. Really confuse the shit out of everyone.” He teased, but Steve beamed.

“Wait, that’s actually a great idea.”

Robin looked apprehensive, holding her hands in the air. “Steve, you remember you just freaked out about this, right? And now you’re going to play into it? Publicly?”

“It’ll be fun. I’m not gonna say anything directly about Eddie. But just. References. And then we can watch the fans lose their shit on TikTok later.” Steve reasoned with a grin, and Eddie smiled back at him.

“I promise to spend the entire show dancing my ass off and singing along. For the bit.” Eddie said, his hand over his heart.

“You do that anyway, you’re just usually backstage.” Robin pointed out, and Eddie rolled his eyes.

“Well, obviously, I have to join you and Dustin in the family tent tonight. Duh.”

“Yes!” Steve agreed with a laugh. “This is going to be so much fun!”

“You’re both psychotic.”

_____

“Indianapolis, you're making me feel awfully special tonight.” Steve bit at his lip as he looked around Lucas Oil Stadium to thousands of people screaming back at him. “This is as close to a hometown show as I really get these days, so thank you for always making sure to remind me how special of a place home is.”

The music started to pick up again, but Steve kept talking. “I kind of spent the last few years coasting by without anyone paying too much attention, but now that I’m back on the road, everyone’s suddenly deeply invested in my life, and it's strange to be back so close to somewhere I called home for so long, in the same position I was in five years ago.” He ran his fingers through his hair, before huffing out a laugh.

“But you guys, you've always been there. Unwavering in a way I will never be able to express my gratitude for.” he paused to glance around the crowd again, grinning as they cheered. “Not many people can say the same, you know?”

“Where is he going with this?” Dustin asked, leaning close to Robin, who shrugged, trying not to have a visible reaction. There were always cameras on them in public like this. Any reaction would be taken out of context and exaggerated.

“Did you see the tabloid rumors about Eddie and Steve?” She replied, and couldn’t help but smile as Dustin’s head whipped back forward to Steve.

“I mean, there’s Robbie, the kids I used to babysit. And, uh…” he trailed off, which Eddie took as his cue to move to the front of the family tent. “Maybe someone else. This one's for you.” Steve said, leaving the “you” ambiguous enough to be open for interpretation.

Eddie, hamming it up, made a heart with his hands, before immediately starting to headbang along to the love song next in the setlist.

_____

In a surprising twist, Dustin managed to wait until the security team had moved them out of the crowd and behind the stage with the crew nearly two hours later before his outburst.

“What the fuck?!” He asked as soon as the were away from the crowd. “Why are you two playing into this? It’s just going to get more headlines and attention on the two of you, which neither of you usually like!”

“But it’s different if it’s on our terms.” Eddie responded, not even looking up from his phone as he answered Dustin.

“Is it, though? Is it really on your terms if it’s not even true?” Dustin sounded exasperated, and while Robin could relate, she was planning on sitting this one out until Eddie shoved his phone into her face.

“It’s already on TikTok. 4 videos in.” He said with a grin as Robin watched Eddie make a hand heart toward the stage before his hair started flopping all over as he sang along. The clip was captioned “steddie is real!!!”

“So you’re proud you’re deceiving fans?” She asked, which made Eddie’s grin fall.

“Don't be so dramatic,” Steve called as he approached from the stage exit. He was covered in sweat and still in his performance clothes, holding a half empty water bottle. “It’s all in good fun. They never need to know if it was real or not.”

“I think you’re downplaying this by a lot. What happens the next time one of you is seen out on a date?” Dustin pressed, and continued despite the way Steve rolled his eyes. “I mean it, an honest to god date. People are going to lose their minds, trying to figure out what broke up Steve and Eddie, when you were never even together in the first place! They’ll turn you against each other, they always do. And if you weren’t dating, isn’t that just as bad of a look?”

“Woah. Henderson. Chill. It’ll be fine, man. You’re WAY overthinking this.” Eddie said, before he grinned at Steve. “Could you see my hand heart from the stage?”

“I could. Did you catch the wink I sent your way at the end of the song?”

“I did, nice touch! I patted my hand over my heart, so maybe that’ll end up on social, too.”

“I’m going to throw myself into the White River.” Dustin groans loudly, to a round of laughs and elbow nudges.

_____

Steve could pinpoint the exact moment things finally felt out of hand two weeks later.

He was getting ready for the show that will wrap up his first weekend at his “home away from home” in 5 years when Eddie texted him about being late to that night’s show.

It shouldn’t have mattered.

Eddie had missed the last two shows in Chicago

It shouldn’t matter.

Eddie’d been there, religiously, at the 4 shows before Chicago on the tour, and 6 others before that when his band wasn’t playing their own concerts. Steve even made 3 trips of his own to Corroded Coffin shows, around his own obligations.

But it still made him frown at his phone for a moment too long. Long enough Robin caught him.

“More headlines about Steddie?” She asked, slipping the phone from his hands before he could stop her. When she read over the message, though, her expression softened. “Oh, Steve, I’m sorry.”

“It’s no big deal.” Steve rushed out, snatching his phone back and shoving it into his pocket. “It’s fine. I’m not upset, there’s no reason to feel sorry. Besides, he just said he’ll be late, he didn’t say he isn’t coming.”

“Would you be upset if he wasn’t coming, then?” Robin asked. Steve glared daggers at her, and sighed when she held her hands in the air, feigning innocence.

“I don’t know.” He mumbled, honestly.

___

The intro tape was just about to start as Steve was making his usual trek toward his starting point, when he heard someone running and calling his name from behind him, rather than out in the crowd. He paused and turned, to see Eddie rushing toward him.

“I’m so sorry, I just wanted you to see that I made it before you went on!” He was out of breath, his hair more wild from running than usual, and Steve…

Well, frankly, Steve was tired of pretending like Eddie wasn’t the hottest person he’d ever seen.

So Steve met Eddie halfway, threw his arms around his neck and pressed their lips together in a move Eddie seemed to have anticipated because he wasted no time returning the favor.

It was only Steve’s cue music that had him breaking away, biting at his lip and grinning at Eddie, who grinned back at him, before using the hands he’d placed on Steve’s waist at some point in the interaction to turn Steve toward the stage.

“Go, before you miss the start of your own show, superstar. I’ll still be here after.” Eddie said.

“Promise?” Steve called over his shoulder as he made his way toward the stage’s catwalk.

“Cross my heart, big boy.” Eddie drew an x over his heart for dramatic effect, then laughed and ran his fingers through his hair as he watched Steve run to make it to his place on time.

[tevanbuckley]

i've said this before about other shows, but just because irl bi people are obviously queer regardless of who they do or don't date/sleep with, doesn't mean studios etc. can't exploit that fact to include nominal levels of representation with minimal effort and a decreased risk of alienating homophobic viewers.

i've no idea what's happening with buck's story, if i had to put my money on anything atp it would be creative squabbles within the writers room itself rather than malice. and either way there's much more egregious examples of this kind of thing.

however, acting like it's biphobic to worry about the show sidelining buck's attraction to men ignores the fact buck is not real. If he never touches a man again then the cards didn't just fall that way, it's a deliberate choice made by a production team operating in an environment increasingly hostile to visibly queer relationships.

yes, ignoring buck's attraction to women is biphobic, but let's not play dumb and pretend there's no potential ulterior motives that could influence the gender of future LIs. it's especially worth giving them a side-eye when 18 episodes later buck still hasn't said the word bisexual on screen!

[emo-trash101]

since your rodrick request are open

some bf head cannons for him?? 🤗💗

OMG I WOULD LOVE TO DO THIS???? UHM YIPPEE

Rodrick Heffley x Reader

Pronouns: Second person, referenced boyfriend meme but it can be taken in any way

TW: Stinky bro, Greg, uh more stinky

- So first off, general headcannons is he def is like, bisexual. His eyeliner is too good for him to be straight/j

- Also his main love languages are definitely acts of service and touch

- But onto like, genuine relationship thingy

- As much as I love him, he is a stinky little guy dude

- He showers like, once a week maximum, and washes his clothes somehow less. It takes copious amounts of coaxing to get him to start legitimately showering

- He obviously listens to you better than his parents, so he starts showering a little more than he did before (his family thanks you)

- mind you he goes from like, 1 shower a week to 2.5 so I mean progress is progress

- Speaking of his family, Susan loves you regardless of your gender

- She's just glad that someone is getting him to be a functioning member of society instead of a dirty mole rat

- Greg is uh...freaky bro

- he writes about you in his journal (you get ur own goofy stick figure) and either low-key has a crush on you or actually despises you with his entire being

- It depends on if you're a lot like Rodrick or if you have that sweet charm turned on for him family

- Frank is actually terrified of y'all's relationship ending, because he was getting tired of yelling at Rodrick to turn his music down, or clean his room, and you actually get him to do that

- He has a heart attack every time Rodrick does some stupid shit or you both get into a spat

- Luckily apology kisses are an actual thing

- He also is chronically obsessed with PDA

- Whether it's the dining table, living room, school, random store, bro is in contact with you in some way

- He also considers taking you to random places as dates

- For y'all's first date he took you to a random forest and carved your initials into a tree

- And then you both got crappy gas station food and hung out at the park

- You also became manager of the band???

- You literally didn't apply for the position but you have it now

- It causes some... interesting arguments

- Rodrick is possessive, to like a goofy ah degree

- So if any of the band members are checking you out for like, any reason, he's calling them out

- or just loudly playing his drums to annoy the guy away from you

- he gives, I got that dog in me and the dog is a Chihuahua vibes

- but he's sweet with you

- He likes to just lay on your lap and let you play with his hair

- And he kisses kinda low-key bad at first, but he makes up for it with enthusiasm

- He's so happy you're with him, like incredibly happy

- This picture is actually him on a daily basis

- Every time you show up at his house for literally any reason he gets a huge dorky smile on his face and he's just like "Yeah Greg, my partner is here"

- Greg is not amused

- But you are :)

GUYS I PROMISE I LOVE HIM AND HIS STINK IM JUST MEAN 🙏🙏🙏

Anyways make sure you eat food and drink water 🫶

[genderkoolaid]

I feel like you would get this, seeing this comment section kinda hurt. The OP they are responding to is a non-binary trans man who was talking about feeling uncomfortable because they still feel attraction to lesbians and have felt very excluded. He’s wary around certain lesbians because they center their ideology around hating men regardless of gender identity and has faced a lot of anti-transmasculinity and transmisogyny. While most lesbians are wonderful amazing people there’s no denying that some do hold an innate hatred for men, not saying they need to like men. I fully understand lesbians and predatory cis men but there’s definitely lesbians who would date trans men. It can be scary for a trans man to come out or start transitioning because at what point do they become too masculine or too much of a man for their friends. There were even people in the comments saying the same anti-man statements who identify as a he/him nonbinary lesbian. This topic is very hard to hear for me as a closeted genderfluid person because my best friend is a man hating lesbian and I dread the day I can actually begin transitioning and she turns her back on me like these people. Queer spaces in general can be hard to occupy as a multi gendered person because of those people as well as mlm/nblm spaces that say ‘fem aligned dni’. In general I don’t think we should police labels and everyone has their own interpretation and I think labels are just a suggestion anyway but I suppose that makes sense for a genderfluid bisexual person.

These people just straight up do not understand the gender diversity that has always existed in lesbian spaces (by which I mean spaces built & catering to queer women & those seen as women).

There have always been trans men in lesbian spaces. You aren't obligated to fuck them, but they have always been there. There are pages and pages of writing out there not only by trans male dykes, but by the lesbian cis women who love them and still identify as lesbians while in relationships with them. There are trans guys at dyke bars right now as we speak having a great time.

Its not surprising to me that there are he/him NB lesbians supporting this. There are a lot of people out there who, because they don't identify As Men, mentally distance themselves from those who do despite any similarities. It's okay for THEM to be lesbians, and it's transphobic to erase THEIR lesbianism because they are Non-Men™! but once you cross that line you become the enemy. It's very "no you gyns I'm TOTALLY different than those gross tbros i promise im not a man at all and i will never want to be one so im allowed in the club!" The same people also throw multigender people under the bus. Trying to figure out your nonbinary in this environment is hellish (I speak from experience) because people pretend like they are super accepting of nonbinary people, until you realize that if you ever think of yourself as even slightly male people will start seeing you as a predatory invader trying to Force Lesbians To Date Men! Very "complex gender for me but not for thee"

Anyways. Twitter is not a good place. Anon, I hope you find better friends. Not every queer space is this hostile to us, I promise. There are people out there who genuinely work to make our community better and I hope you find them.

[alltimefail]

Okay so I have more thoughts on Dead Boy Detectives but this is less about scene analysis and more about my own personal interpretation of Charles as I truly believe Charles' inability to fully "reciprocate" Edwin's feelings is less about accepting his sexuality/lack of awareness about his sexuality and more about feeling unworthy of being on the receiving end of Edwin's love (and about bad timing - them being in an afterlife or eternal suffering situation on the literal stairs of hell, but I digress lol). This would explain, pretty seamlessly, why he seems to seek out fleeting or "fun" romances and flirtations. It would also explain why, immediately following the confession, there are micro-changes, blink-and-you'll-miss-it differences in Charles' behaviors and expressions. It's clear that our boy is reflecting, and he meant it when he said he intended to "figure out what the rest means..." even if it takes him forever (and I doubt it will, but again... I digress). This is why calling his reassurances to Edwin on the staircase a "rejection" and putting Charles in a box as default-straight is a complete disservice to his character, to the writers, to the queer brilliance that rings beautifully in every facet of this show, and to Jayden Revri who is an exceptional actor with a palpable, deep love and reverence for the character he's portraying.

As a repressed PTSD bisexual™️ myself, I can't help but connect Charles' history with abuse alongside his poor perception of self, people-pleasing tendencies, and his quickness to stifle and repress his own feelings and desires to his fear of being a "bad person." It would not surprise me if Charles would fear the possibility that he is capable of taking something fragile, beautiful, raw, and vulnerable (Edwin's love) and destroy it in the way his father did.

Charles has always loved fully and without caution; I would even say he loves recklessly at times, throwing himself in front of danger, even to his own detriment. But has anyone fully loved him back in the way he loves? Charles has always loved Edwin, but did he ever allow himself to humor the idea that Edwin might just love him back?

It's evident that Charles had very little kindness in his life. Charles' friends were conditional at best and violent/abusive at their worst, his father was a monster, and his mother (who, in all fairness, was also a victim of abuse) was quiet and complicit in the abuse Charles received from his father. His entire afterlife is intrinsically connected to Edwin's - his entire existence, and Edwin's entire existence, are so closely entwined to one another that to "screw up" the delicate balance they've struck would be more than unfortunate - it would be earth-shattering, a loss like no other. Charles is impulsive, but he is not careless...quite the opposite, actually. I truly think whether or not he's attracted to men is not the issue; it wouldn't surprise me if, at the very least, Charles is aware he is attracted to people regardless of gender and just doesn't have the language to put a label to that sensation yet (he might have never been compelled to put a label on it, frankly). The issue is that Charles is unsure if he is deserving of someone not just loving him, but being in love with him... especially when it's coming from someone he thinks is the best person in the world, the most important person to him, the only person he would deny heavy and defy hell for.

Honestly Charles might even already know he has feelings toward Edwin specifically that are not strictly platonic, but taking that gamble even though he struggles with feelings such as being undeserving of Edwin; that he would be selfish to take a love he's undeserving of; that Edwin might come to realize, at some point, that he was mistaken in loving Charles and that being with Charles isn't actually enough/what he hoped it would be and he regrets his confession all together. Or, perhaps worst of all, what if Charles finds that the nagging fear he's buried deep down was correct all along... that he actually is like his father and capable of hurting Edwin and bastardizing the concept of love as a whole?

There are stakes when it comes to loving Edwin - if he were to screw up what they have, the consequences would be disastrous, it very well might destroy him. He cannot be careless, he cannot be impulsive, he cannot risk destroying what he and Edwin have. I'm not sure Charles has ever not loved Edwin, but he probably never humored that his Edwin: touch-reserved, buttoned-up, logical, stubborn, beautiful, kind Edwin who brought a warm light to Charles in his darkest moment, could feel that way, too... especially about him. What is he to do with that?

[perfect-bi-paradise]

The accuracy of this is immaculate. Pansexuality has ALWAYS been detrimental to the LGBT since the time of Sigmund Freud to the 2001 re-popularized version that paints not only bisexuals, but gays, and lesbians as shallow, gender and/or genital obsessed transphobes. They also seperate trans and nonbinary people as 'other' all the while appropriating bisexualities real definition of regardless of gender in the process. It's self serving narcissism and bigotry wrapped in the same color scheme as printer ink.

[dontcryminecraft]

also reminder just so it can be said: as much as I enjoy and join in on welcoming tommy to the queer community: he's only said he's bi-CURIOUS, not bisexual. if, in a couple months, a week, or fuck it! A year! but if he says at some point -any point- down that line that he's thought about it, considered it, and he is in fact straight, not bisexual, don't be fucking weird! don't say he queerbaited! don't give him shit! don't cry and wine about your fav not being "like you" or "one of the gays" or whatever. don't be weird. people have the right to explore their sexuality -and gender for that matter- at their own time, at their own pace, and the outcome doesn't negate the journey. just because he's a celebrity who spoke about this publically doesn't mean you're entitled to a "correct answer" that you like. the only -i repeat the ONLY- correct answer is whatever tommy is most comfortable with. this isn't ever going to be about YOU, this will always be about HIM. and regardless, he's got my respect and support, and i expect the same from this community.

[davidtennantgenderenvy]

My Two Cents On The “ Is David Tennant Queer” Drama

As some of you know, I spent a solid third of the past year working on a movie-length video essay about David Tennant. This video essay features an eight minute section titled “Gender, Vulnerability, and Why David Tennant Is A Queer Icon”, which does not speculate on David’s own sexuality, but discusses the queer coding and subversion of gender norms in plenty of his roles and his importance as an ally to the LGBT community. At the same time, I was also coming to terms with my own identity as nonbinary and bisexual, and it ended up playing a crucial role in me finally working up the courage to come out to my parents. Characters like Crowley and the Doctor, both in terms of how they present themselves and how and who they love, have been absolutely instrumental in me developing my queer identity, and my comments section was full of people who had had similar experiences, who’d realized they were trans, nonbinary, gay, etc thanks to David and his characters. And as a result, I won’t deny that if David himself were to be queer, it would mean a lot to me.

Do I think David is queer? It’s certainly possible. I see a lot of how I express my queerness in how david chooses to express himself, most prominently through his frequent queer coding of characters who don’t necessarily have to be played as such. This can especially be seen through his Shakespeare characters, such as Richard, Hamlet, and some would argue Benedick as well. When I was 15 I played Mercutio in Romeo and Juliet, who I chose to play as a closeted young gay man harboring an unrequited crush on Romeo. I think I saw this role subconsciously as an outlet for my own repressed queerness, both of gender and sexuality, as I had experienced an unrequited crush on my female best friend the previous year which I was still in denial about. I’ve described my gender identity as “a girl with a chaotic tortured gay man inside of her that needs to be let out every once in a while”, which has never been more true than with Mercutio- a character who I might add, I took a great deal of inspiration from David when playing! In terms of using roles as an outlet for one’s queerness, I could absolutelt see this being true with David, especially when it comes to Crowley, who seems to have had an impact on David’s style, behavior, etc in a rather similar way to how he’s impacted me. I don’t want to act like David wearing pink docs means he must be gay, I think people should be allowed to wear whatever they want regardless of sexuality, but taken in conjunction with so many other things about him, it does make one wonder, and the fact that a seemingly straight man has been so many people’s queer awakening is a bit puzzling to say the least. I won’t pretend that these “signs” (if you interpret them that way), haven’t been increasing somewhat in the past year, and if I got to share my own coming out journey with the man who inspired it, I would be absolutely thrilled. I also can’t specifically think of an instance where David has SAID he is straight, as opposed to Taylor swift, who has.

With all of that said, where I personally draw the line is when mere speculation crosses into interfering with the subject’s personal relationships and the sense that one is OWED something. I believe that what matters to David more than anything is being a husband and a father. I believe he adores Georgia and his children and would not do anything in the world that he believes would jeopardize his family. As happy as I would be for David if he were to come out (probably as bi) I realize that that would put so much unwanted attention on his marriage and family and I think that’s the last thing he wants. I don’t think it’s IMPOSSIBLE that he and Michael Sheen are having a passionate love affair behind everyone’s backs, but I absolutely don’t consider it my place to insist that they are, because as much as I may feel like I do, I don’t know these people! And besides, if David were cheating on Georgia, he really would not be the person I thought he was.

So many queer people see themselves in David and his characters, and that is beautiful. And I don’t think there’s anything inherently wrong with having theories that David might be queer himself. However, it must be acknowledged that these theories are THEORIES, and they should not be used to invalidate people’s real life relationships- after all, it’s totally possible to be bi/pan and also be in a loving and healthy heterosexual relationship like David and Georgia at least seem to be in! If David were in fact “one of us”, I would welcome him with the openest of open arms, but unless and until he himself decides to proclaim himself that way, I will not expect anything of him other than to be the incredible artist and person we know and love.

[feshippingpolls]

Admittedly it's just a lot of posts along the lines of "Oh this is a notp I could never imagine x character dating a woman/man" even when they're canonically bisexual like Edelgard or Alfred. I'm probably overstating it, but it's always just a bit uncomfortable to see the idea of them being bisexual responded to so negatively.

To be fair, a lot of modern Fire Emblem (games where the player can romance basically anybody/pair characters up for Fates and Awakening) doesn't really have any characters that are exclusively attracted to the same sex. Since characters with same sex options (such as Niles/Edelgard/romance options in Engage) are always romanceable by both protagonists, they are always functionally bisexual. While this gives bisexual representation (which is great to have), it erases sexualities outside of bi or heterosexuality because every character has to be available to at least players of the opposite sex (gotta appeal to the straights ig + make your child soldiers for gen 2). So even if these characters are functionally bisexual in-game, it feels pretty difficult to believe that the spectrum of sexualities in-universe is so limited and fans will want to have representations of other orientations. Hence, fans might choose to interpret characters who are bisexual in-game as exclusively attracted to the same sex and it kind of comes down to personal headcanons at that point.

Engage is an outlier here because every character can be given the pact ring regardless of the avatar's gender, making every romanceable character (since not all ring supports are romantic) functionally bisexual. While this is very cool and makes every character available to anyone, it also means that characters' sexualities are even more up to player interpretation (unless you want to interpret them as just living in a world where basically everyone is bi which hell yeah pls take me there). I should add that I do really like the way pact rings work in Engage because it sucks to have your options limited based on the gender you play as so it's just nicer to have everyone be bi. But I think it's fine for these characters to be headcanoned differently.

But I don't want to ignore the possibility of biphobia, I do know there's a lot of scrutiny for bi people dating the opposite gender and I'm not sure how much it bleeds through here. However I feel like a lot of this just comes down to personal headcanons. While I recognise it isn't the same since bisexual representation is important, a lot of functionally straight characters are interpreted differently by fans and often interpreted to be bisexual, so I don't think this is a case of biphobia (on a large scale, anyway, ofc I don't know the thoughts of every single fan).

Edit: If you're interested, you should definitely read the comments for different perspectives. At the end of the day I'm just one dumb bisexual and other people have good counterpoints.

[velvet-cupcake-games]

It's About to Get Real Gay in Here

I am fully transitioning to work on John's route this week, and I realized that from here on out in the main game, all Made Marion romances are unambiguously Queer 4 Queer (except Gui's, which is Almost Certainly Q4Q But It Doesn't Really Come Up). I didn't mean to put the two most hetero guys first. John was actually supposed to be the second route, but his route and Robin's are two of my most emotionally complex to write and I wanted a break in-between.

For newer fans, it shakes out like this (in modern terminology):

Marion is and always has been bi/pansexual.

John is a bi/pansexual cis man.

Meissa is a bi non-binary person with a preference for femme-leaning partners.

Alanna is a lesbian cis woman.

Gui is some flavour of non-hetero and is cis but gender-nonconforming.

Geoffrey is a demisexual cis man (and probably somewhere on the aromantic spectrum as well).

So let's put down a few Ask Box Ground Rules!

I will brook no homo-, bi-, aroace-, or transphobia in the ask box. If your question is offensive it gets deleted. I've been blessed with a generally quite pleasant ask box so far, let's keep it that way!

Yes, these basic sexual preferences are canon. I don't use modern sexuality terminology in the game because research strongly points to pre-modern peoples not thinking of sexuality as an inborn orientation. But of course pre-modern people knew that different people have different sexual preferences.

Why do I use bi/pan for Marion and John? Because they could easily use either label to describe themselves and because I like to reinforce the fact that bisexuality is not trans- or non-binary exclusive. This is not up for debate on this blog.

I will be particularly cranky if there is hate toward John as a bisexual man who has had male partners in the past. I've seen this happen to other LGBT/amare romance VN developers and I have no tolerance for it. If I get flooded with this kind of thing, I will simply turn off anon.

In a similar vein, I have been open about the fact that Meissa has a penis. I don't do ambiguous genitals for non-binary characters because I write explicit love scenes and it would absolutely not be fair to be all "and then they touched each other in their happy spots" for only non-binary characters. We all have bits, regardless of gender identity. This does not mean that Meissa is a man. They are not.

Everybody good? Good! Let's have fun, be gay, and, well... as this IS a Robin Hood game... DO CRIMES.

[varlaisvea]

"We have mixed marriages and gay and lesbian characters in abundance throughout the game," Slavicsek tells TheGamer. "It just makes sense to us that all possibilities exist in Tamriel. We treat it as a real and living world. You just might not notice because we don't shout it from the rooftops or put signs proclaiming it everywhere. And you know why? Because in Tamriel, this is just the way the world is. No character in the world blinks an eye or thinks there's anything unusual about meeting the baker and his husband, the serving woman and her wife, or to have Naryu and Jakarn flirt with you, regardless of your character's gender. And that's not even mentioning Alchemy, the three Living Gods of the Tribunal, or the Daedric Princes who can appear as any gender they so desire! It's part of the world and so it's no big deal."

(link) (cw transphobia- article is a response to dorks who are butthurt re: the new nonbinary companion.)

This! This is what made me write ESO fanfic, when I’d never written fic with original characters before.

Because as a nonbinary bisexual ~woman on T? I fucking noticed! I noticed ESO’s Tamriel is a world I could exist in without friction. Where no one cares about your gender presentation or who you’re attracted to—where it doesn’t even occur to anyone to care about it. Where there wouldn’t even need to be pride, or queerness at all, because there is no one thing that’s seen as normal or correct. I love my queerness of course, but ultimately, I want to live in a world where I don’t need it, because the way I am is simply one of infinite ways a person can be.

It also means there is no sexual shame. People aren’t weird about sex or the things they enjoy sexually. There’s nothing strange about polyamorous relationships and nothing kinky about men who like being dominated by women. Sex work is not stigmatized or dangerous. No one feels shame about being horny or wanting sex. Sex is a private thing but it’s also not particularly taboo to discuss. I want to live in a world like that, too.

They don’t say it in the article, but the major reason the world can be this way is that they’ve done a thorough and meticulous job of deleting structural misogyny from existence. And as the quote says, you don’t even notice a lot of the time, but once you see it, you can’t unsee it. It makes me feel like a world without patriarchy and gender oppression could exist, and we wouldn’t even miss it.

RPGs are all about making you feel like you fit into the world. I’m tumblr-old; I’ve been playing video games for longer than some of my mutuals have been alive, and ESO’s Tamriel is the first RPG world I have encountered where I could actually feel myself fitting in. This is why I’m really hopeful about TES VI: don’t care where or when the game takes place, or what the Hero Mythology is; if they keep doing this? I’m in.

[loki-zen]

Like @zipper-neck and anyone else, to expand a little more on the bi/pan thing, the story as best I can tell it is this:

Ever since pansexual got it's own flag, people have been coming along, looking at the label options and thinking "well, if pansexuality means being attracted to people regardless of gender, then surely bisexual must mean something different than that!" But the fact of the matter is that this is exactly how many bisexual people would describe their sexuality, and they've been using the term "bisexual" to describe that since long before "pansexual" was popularized and got its own branding.

Some of these people have then gone on to try to insist that the word "pansexual" is the only way to describe that sort of sexuality, and in the process of this spread many myths about what "bisexual" "really means", sometimes in a pretty biphobic fashion (and ofc arguably the whole idea pf telling bisexual people what bisexual is allowed to mean is biphobic to begin with).

To complicate matters, when I say they're "myths", a lot of these purported definitions of bisexuality are how some bisexual people would describe their sexualities. The myth is the idea that any one of these is the definition of bisexuality.

This has led some to conclude that the whole reason for pansexuality existing as a label is because people believed these myths and thus felt they had to come up with a new term for a subset of what "bisexual" already described. That's, imo, the origin of the idea that pansexual is a biphobic label.