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#biology makes me feel things
runandhideguys · 2 years
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sometimes etymology is great and sometimes you get words like sarcolemma
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fishyfishyfishtimes · 4 months
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Me in my mind: Do you ever wonder what it’s like to be a fish? What it’s like to inhabit the aquatic world? Fish literally exist inside their element. Do you wonder how it feels to breathlessly suck in the water too thick for our lungs, enjoy the feeling, revel in the fresh cool water washing over your gills? Wander the world around you in perfect three dimensions, no longer restrained by gravity. Watch the sunlight ripple through the waves, dancing on the bottom. Even the darkness of night and winter is no longer frightening, as you can feel every movement of your fellow kin and the environment around you. Inches apart, never touching, yet you feel it all. How does it feel to fill your swim bladder with gas and rise from the deep dark muck motionlessly like a regal ghost ship from the fog? How does it feel to caress the weeds and reeds with your fins, jump briefly from the waves into a world so unlike your own, of thin atmosphere and dry air? And to think, we were fishes once, our ancestors. Look at how far we’ve come from home! We have different coating on top of our skin which harms the ray-fins’ mucus, our scales adapted into hairs long ago, we posture ourselves like seahorses with no tail, our hands are made for holding onto things. We’re so different now, and yet, so similar. Every time I look into the eye of a fish I see understanding: a fellow traveler of the Earth whose circumstances brought her and me together. Her eyes study my body and my surroundings. Does the fish look at me, through the same glass, and wonder about the other world like I do? Does she imagine what it’s like? What does she feel?
Me to my family: damn can you believe fish are real
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sciderman · 6 months
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I swear I have read your big post regarding Peter Parker's neurodivergence and why it is best to avoid labelling him, but he definitely has a weird brain
Can't find it and feel kinda sad about it cuz I deeply related to it
i know exactly which post you're talking about and i can't find it either! i've raked through my archive, and it's just - nowhere to be seen. i think tumblr eated it (it happens.)
really, tumblr's search functionality is so so useless, i don't know what to tell you. there are plenty of keywords i can search to find it that post, but the search functionality actually just does not work!
undiagnosed audhd-addled peter parker, my darling, my light, my life, my everything.
i think peter parker's such an interesting creature to write, because a lot of people will point to a certain behaviour about him and say "this is an autistic thing, right?" but a lot of those behaviours are actually, in my head, tied to certain traumas in peter's life too.
people say "oh, the food thing, peter's a picky eater because he's autistic" and yes, absolutely. but also it's tied to his trauma with his parents.
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peter gets overstimulated, and yes, it's an autism thing, but also he was bitten by a radioactive spider and his senses are dialled to 11.
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it's a similar case i've found for myself, too – where a lot of friends i have kind of diagnose me because i have autistic traits, but actually - i'm hesitant to claim the label or pursue diagnosis because, actually, i know where these certain behaviours come from, and they come from certain traumas. there are events i can pinpoint in my life and say "yep. that's where this behaviour comes from."
so - i think there's a lot of overlap between trauma and autistic traits. the brain is very complex! i think the reason for that overlap is maybe as simple as the fact that people with autism and people with trauma are both doing the same thing - developing behaviours to protect themselves or soothe themselves. so - i think it's nice to be able to see a character like peter parker, who may or may not be autistic, but recognise behaviours in him and see yourself in him.
people who go undiagnosed for whatever reason - people who are really good at masking - so good, in fact, that they have no idea they might be on the spectrum - everyone and anyone at all can look at peter parker and recognise themselves. because i think we discredit the thought that every single brain does the same thing! develops certain behaviours in order to survive. every brain has that same software - we've just all been faced with different hardships that we need to overcome, and that's were all the differences come in.
autism is a spectrum, i guess - everyone falls into it to some degree. and i think events in your life probably push you along on it. but i don't know, i didn't study brain science. probably what i'm saying is very stupid and uninformed. of course there's brain chemistry involved. but i know people in my life living with autism and certain events in their life have exacerbated certain behaviours or made coping with it a lot more difficult. so maybe trauma is a catalyst.
#a lot of my traits have been exacerbated lately and i remember it was much easier for me before#and some of my friends have said “oh it's because you've been masking too long and now you're facing autistic burnout.”#and that made sense to me i think.#but then i found out about the stress thing. me overproducing stress hormone. and that's a very physical thing.#and that explains why i've been overstimulated more than usual lately. and why everything feels like too much.#and i wonder how many of these traits of mine are going to subside once i have lamar removed#and it makes me wonder a lot of things. and it's so weird how much your brain is tied to your biology.#i wonder how much i'll change. i wonder how i'll feel. i wonder if i'll still feel like me. i wonder how much me is me right now.#and how much of me is being altered by weird freaky hormones. who am i?? who will i be??#i'm almost looking at this as like. a superhero origin story of some sort. like this is my spider-bite moment. maybe.#will i be different? will i cope with things differently?? now that my body isn't fighting something anymore??#maybe i'll be normal. i don't know. i don't know.#i don't know what it'll mean for me.#but all of these things mean i relate to peter parker in a certain kind of way#i don't think you have to be diagnosed with autism to recognise and empathise with those traits i think#i think everyone can see themselves in peter. and i think that's the benefit of having characters that aren't diagnosed.#because there's so much overlap in the human experience. and certain feelings aren't exclusive to just one group of people.#peter has such a rich identity actually. it's an autistic thing. it's a queer thing. it's a jewish thing. it's a trauma thing.#there are so many overlapping parts of peter's identity that inform who he is and how he behaves and it's never just one thing.#it's a product of all of his things.#just like me! just like everyone.#so me? i guess i can be a million things. you can explain what i am in a million different ways.#a hundred different psychologists can all come up with different ways to explain why i be the way i be.#i don't think it's something that can be simplified.#sorry wow. i'm really going off here in the tags.#i hope people don't think i'm stupid. i don't know brain science. i'm just philosophising as usual.#sci speaks
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dailydegurechaff · 9 months
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I wanted to know how do you interpret Tanya's gender. After reading chapter 58 of the manga i got the impression that she is definitely trans coded, but maybe thats just me
Very good question.
To be honest, when I think too hard about Tanya’s gender (and sexuality, for that matter) it gives me brain worms. Fun brain worms, but brain worms nonetheless. I can’t explain it. Everything she’s got going on is complicated as shit there’s way too much to think about.
Like, she was a man, but now she's a girl. But at some points she says she still sees herself as a man internally so is this MtFtM? How does that work. And if she accepts she's a woman now, is that just MtF or do we add more letters. More importantly: Was Being X being Transphobic or being the Greatest Trans Ally of All Time with the free divinely issued sex change.
Ok ok, jokes aside. Confession: I actually do not keep up with the manga, so I had to go find the chapter and read it first. Having read it now though, I see what you mean.
The conversation she has with the Salaryman/herself in that chapter really does read as essentially saying “I’ve accepted who I am now.” It’s a far cry from a much earlier part of the manga I remember where she has a breakdown about being a man/people seeing her as a girl.
A friend of mine was actually showing me stuff from more recent chapters of the manga (don’t know which chapter tragically, but I know it’s not currently translated to English) and from what I gathered of it, Being X was showing Tanya a dream of being back in her past life and in response she basically demanded to go back to being Tanya immediately. It is definitely not just you, I 100% see the trans-coding you’re talking about.
As for my personal interpretation of her gender, I touched very briefly on it once before, but I honestly think she wouldn’t want to label herself as anything. At first, this is out of hesitance and not wanting to acknowledge that anything might be ““wrong”” or ““different”” about her. Later on it turns into character growth, more along the lines of, “I don’t need the label to define me, I just am what I am/like what I like. I don’t care about it any more than that.” Yes this is 100% projection on my part. No, I won’t apologize for it lmao.
Of course, that's entirely my own headcanon. I definitely am not saying it’s the only way to interpret her, it’s just my personal thoughts. Especially since my opinion is subject to change on a dime depending on what I’m reading/working on myself. The Tanya gender is, in fact, transient, shifting like water.
Like. A transfem Tanya fic that focuses on her adapting to life in her new world and coming to discover she doesn’t actually hate her new body? I’d totally read that. I’ve seen a few fics that include that as a part of the narrative and those scenes of acceptance were among my favorite parts.
I get the feeling this is the route that the manga is going as well. It’s a bit of a shame that we don't have those aforementioned scenes in the light novel (or at least, I don't remember them), but I don’t think that Carlo Zen really intended that to be the focus/narrative in the first place. And honestly, I also think that’s a good thing because it allows for so much more room for interpretation and headcanon around Tanya’s character.
Anyway, the other direction is also compelling to me. A transmasc Tanya fic where, after feeling uncomfortable and hating how feminine he looks for years and years, he finally goes ‘Fuck this, I’m gonna go back to being a man’? I would read the fuck out of that too.
Could also be paired with him finally choosing to defect, where they think about it like, ‘Well there’s nothing to hold me back now, right? I don’t have to maintain appearances anymore. Also, since I’m defecting this would be a great way to hide myself. They’d all be looking for the wrong person. Two birds with one stone, how efficient.’ …Now we’re getting to fic ideas I won’t ever get to so it’s time to move on I think.
Semi-related to the Trans Tanya Concept, this actually brings me to a bit of a lore/headcanon/idea/question I want to present to the public for opinions. In Norden, during the inciting battle of the war, Tanya uses magic to “dope up” so she could enhance her strength and reaction time and kill pain. I took this to mean she used a formula to synthesize the narcotics/adrenaline hormone/whatever else directly into herself, right?
Can you see where I’m going with this? As long as you know which hormones to make, how they’re made up, and what quantities you need… Well, don’t you think magic HRT is completely possible? Of course, as I'm not sure it makes sense for Salaryman to have known the detailed specifics about it from the modern world, it would require a lot of in-universe research/science advancement for someone to actually do that, but theoretically...
The magic system in this universe has so much potential to be explored, I’m fascinated by what you can theoretically do with it. Although, this is long and off-topic already I think this should be the end, lol.
I think I talked too much? I’m sorry, you were probably not expecting such an answer. I told you, Tanya gives me brain worms (mental illness).
I guess the TL;DR is this: that kid definitely ain’t cishet.
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uncanny-tranny · 2 years
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I've seen some trans people who are almost in this doomerist mindset about cis people ever respecting or loving them, and I understand what that feels like and I understand where they're coming from. I remember, though, just how many cis people I know who are not only capable of respecting and loving trans people, but do so enthusiastically, and it really just makes me remember that transphobia isn't inherent to being cis. Cis people are entirely capable of learning and growing and allowing trans people into their worlds. There are always going to be those cis people who aren't at that point and might never be, but that is on them, not their cisness.
I think this small shift in viewpoint has helped me reframe my emotions about this topic. It's helpful for me to be able to take a step back and remember that being cis isn't a reason for people to not accept trans people, you know?
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gifti3 · 1 year
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Asmo seems like the kind of person who acts normal (as normal as an asmo can be) about mc having a breakout but dreads the idea of them seeing even a single blemish on his skin
This can be interrupted as haha goofy ahhh or i can turn this into a serious thing where asmo cant let ppl know hes less than perfect or he'll disintegrate
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pommegrantaire · 2 years
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I recently re-read The Dreaming Dark by @pterodotyl and absolutely had to draw mermaid Keith and his favourite human 💙💜
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adinafay · 7 months
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One day I was in the checkout line at Target and the two people in front of my husband and I were arguing about the social-acceptability of bugs.
At some point tensions have risen to the point of needing a neutral-party and they turn to my husband and I and ask our thoughts.
My husband just shakes his head and grins, knowing exactly what's about to happen, and I jump straight into telling these two random people about my collection of various wet and dry specimens and my various entomological courses and how fan-fucking-tastic I think bugs are and how underappreciated they are in this world.
I have never had a stranger smile so widely at me as the pro-bug person did that day.
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itslookingback · 1 year
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uagh 2 days until results day
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my-thoughts-and-junk · 4 months
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reading dungeon meshi
#random thoughts#it has the kind of plot i hate where you retread the same plot point repeatedly while making progress elsewhere#like hi falin bye falin#like i cared about them finding falin. then they found her. and now she's gone again.#i don't like marcille but in like. a compelling way. she's my favorite archetype of character who is specifically female for some reason?#lady who thinks her way is the right way and she's morally right and therefore everyone else is wrong#high conscientiousness with low openness to experience. see themselves as agreeable dutiful and restrained while not being any of that#they tend to take on moralistic causes but they usually don't have a defined reason for WHY they're doing it so it just comes off as preachy#and the narrative tends to take their side with no basis in why#like when marcille tried to prove herself with the mandrakes and put everyone in danger and senshi conceded he was ALSO in the wrong???#and even marcille was like 'that wasn't my point at all'#that entire chapter made me mad it was so good#it's also doing that thing i hate when a piece of media introduces too many characters at once#like who's who what's what who is important who should i remember#i love the detail put into the cooking sessions!!!#i love how all the characters are so fucked up and not even in plot-important ways#like chilchuck's cowardice is very important to the plot but senshi was straight-up willing to let a man die for his flavorful cooking lmao#laios is. my man. i need him carnally.#i get that the whole 'got eaten by dragon' thing was not meant to be the Whole Plot but i feel like the background plot is just not my thing#either that or it wasn't set up in a compelling enough way?#idk. im still reading#all in all i think dungeon meshi might just not be my thing? plot-wise i mean. i love the characters and the general premise#of monster biology and environmentalism and cooking and augh#i don't like how everytime senshi corrects marcille on something so far he ends up going 'i guess i also need to learn a thing or two'#like on the mandrakes? the man has FIELD EXPERIENCE he was entirely in the right to prefer his method!!!#and on the environment thing? first of all marcille's whole thing is building artificial dungeons she SHOULD care about the food chain#SECOND OF ALL telling marcille she shouldn't kill so many fishmen isn't playing GOD or whatever#that kraken was a fucking. extenuating circumstance. it was literally there just to make marcille's argument credible#animals killing each other through the food chain is different from marcille using what is essentially a rocket launcher#god i ran out of tags. peace and luv bruvs 🤟 kind of have a hate crush on marcille now. need her
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subarashiihibi · 7 months
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Please let 2024 be the year the durarara fandom stops making “jokes” about Izaya being in a wheelchair 😍😍😍
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violettierre · 5 months
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I : majored in english, has a masters degree in it, studying philosophy, and have been an English teacher/Junior translator for almost a decade now.
My grandma : there is our future doctor <3
#i still to this day don't know if she's in denial or thinks what i'm doing is a hobby#it gets funnier every time#especially today#i was like 'mimma i just came back from work i'm so tired' and she was like 'i make food right now for our future doctor'#like ???????#grandma i love your food pls don't give it to someone else#who doctor ? doctor who ?#me ??????#that is so NOT my career#my already existing one that i fought my entire bloodline for put aside#i can never be a good doctor let alone willingly choose it#1) i suck at biology and science and those pure memorization shit#2) i'm really sensitive to blood or injuries i might faint at just the mention of certain stuff (surgeries are crossed off i would DIE)#3) it's just not meant to be and that's okay#as a society we can't survive with one or two careers all of them are important in their own way#an exercise i would usually tell my students to do at this topic#is everytime you feel like someone's job is useless to close your eyes and imagine a world without it#if i managed to convince them hurray to them#if i didn't i ask them to imagine someone they care for work hard then get told their job is useless#(that on usually does the trick)#the thing is even if you're stuck with a job you hate or can't find a better one#there's still some impotance to that job in a way like they offer service or blah blah#yet it will suffocate you because it's not the career you were meant to have#that summed up means the work environment/pressure/nature are what we really define as useless because they can be unfair#but not the work itself#when we delete those previous stuff off the definition all careers are equally important#i hope i was clear#and i also hope my grandma remembers that too#story time
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soft-serve-soymilk · 5 months
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The dichotomy between not wanting to fall into the adult trap of “available? never :)” and riding the momentum of motivation for as long as it takes me
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friendofthecrows · 5 months
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My writing style is unfortunately described as "ex-pretentious 'intellectual' kid who clearly joined Tumblr during the peak of superwholock and never left" but thankfully, no one recognizes that except people who were also at the devil's sacrament.
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gifti3 · 5 months
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Im in such an obey me mood today haha
other than "pls dont tell asmo about that",,,, i have questions about these freaking vegetables (im putting under the cut since im talking about food and bad eating habits/diet related stuff)
im assuming they would have to be mixed with other regular ingredients to prevent the hunger but it sounds like ppl would use them as the main component in a dish or just eat them by themselves
So does all of it get digested? No leftovers (waste) comes out the other end im guessing? is it like a magic type thing?? it has to be right? Cause if not...ur body will take the calories needed to replace the ones burnt, take the nutrients, and the rest will just get tossed out
And since it doesnt make you full, like wouldnt it be way too easy to overeat this type of thing? so you could accidentally end up making urself go to the restroom more often :/
Ig if it gives u the nutrients u need that itll be useful then. So maybe its a 'heres ur macros for the day' type dealo? but u still have to go eat an actual meal or make sure u mix it with other stuff tho
#ik its just a silly joke type text but i do like to take these things and overthink them and apply them to real life#its just interesting to me cause ik the answers will never come so its like a brain exercise or something#eating disorder tw#just to be safe#but yea..................#im gonna just go off in the tags cause im just wondering about when this would be useful cause regular veggies are the better choice to me#ig that could be useful in a very specific circumstance where you went over calories but still need certain macros..but like...its veggies#going over for some for veggies isnt that big a deal imo but if ur mostly concerned with deficit then ud cut anywhere u can...#u could also like use it to lessen the calories in the dish overall and maybe add more of the ingredients u actually like#tho i feel like it would not remove that many calories in the first place#and ud probably wouldnt even get to add that much more of what u actually want in comparison#and then...ur gonna be hungry cause u took away a big volume of the food which was the regular vegetables#but for me when im making food the last thing im worried about in my dish is the freaking vegetables#im trying to add more veggies and less of everything else ._.#i feel like this would make more sense if it was like a sugary treat#especially if this is supposed to be a thing that helps with cravings#u get to eat and enjoy the thing without consequence (for the most part) while eating a more restrictive diet#tho it would probably be even more dangerous than the veggies when it comes to overeating...#idk how the demon biology works but it seems about the same to humans but just more durable#and with asmos eating habits...i can already see in my minds eye whats gonna go down#it just seems like a bad idea all around to tell him about this!#obey me nightbringer
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opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year
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...
#let me express to u perhaps The frustration of my life#i like to learn. it is perhaps my favorite thing. new information. more more more constantly#but. my fucking brain is the fucking worst. because im not fucking stupid if i can focus and process the words being said i can understand#many things. i like to learn about math and physics and chemistry and biology and anatomy... ect concepts#but the focus and the processing of words is where we have problems. because i cannot focus for more than like 5min#i blink and suddenly ive been spaced out for a sec and need to reorient. i cant prioritize what to do 1st and im constantly bouncing betwee#tasks so nothing ever gets done and im too intimidated to start learning things. and when im trying to learn we habe the processing words#problem. like my reading comprehension is so fucking bad. like i will read a book on paper and maybe retain 25% of the info if im not#hardcore trying. for a class where i had to do a ton of paper reading. i had to read everything out loud to myself. highlight important#info. write myself a summary based on the highlights and then read the paper again before i could even begin to feel comfortable in#discussions. it was so fucking frustrating and miserable. ppl will give me physical books and im like thanks i cant fucking read sorry#too fucking dyslexic. read and listen they say. u have to read and listen at the same time bc i cant pay attention and i cant read#so if i do both then maybe the info gets in. thats y i have to read aloud but i hate it and still get distracted#i mean. i probably just have an attention problem. its also really annoying that my short term working memory is so awful#bc in order to make things make sense i have to draw or write them out. i cant judt go off the top of my head or i get stuck saying thr sam#thing over and over and over. its like my ability to think is extremely shallow. but thrn i read papers and recognize concepts from classes#i took years ago and im like. fucking y cant i know what i know? my head feels so empty but info is in there somewhere#its just so fucking frustrating that i love understanding systems so much. complex annoying little systems that fit together like a puzzle#and my fucking brain refuses to accept the information im trying to get in there. so i return to a remark left on my dyslexia assignment:#intelligent when not constrained by language or time. thanks. unfortunately language is how ppl communicate#also i freak out under time pressure lol. anyway ive just been reading papers for fun this weekend and remembering y i dont: bc its agony#but also i fucking love the concepts so much and i need a good understanding of photosynthesis before August when i join a photosynthesis#lab lmao. ugh. i love learning but my brain was not buildmt#built for it. if only if only someone could podcast about the obscure things im interested in while reading directly from the source#unrelated#also its like 105 degrees plus. its too fucking hot out#thats like 40 degrees C. the sun is like a death ray
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