#billy wears short shorts

[hollygl125]

William Petersen in TO LIVE AND DIE IN L.A. (1985), dir. William Friedkin SHORT SHORTS

[mysterygrl20]

EP 10 OF MUMU TOFU - LETS CONSERVE WATER

[uzi-x33]

me guys^_^ i am him. he is me.🎀

[toast-com]

Clothing Images I got from Pinterest that give me Billy vibes:

(if you notice a pattern, no you don't)

[cbdinodoodlez]

I LOVE LUKE’S NEW OUTFITE HE IS WEARING A SUIT FDJBVDFHJVBDFHVJDBVJH

[randomnameless]

The real story behind Billy's sport shorts :

Upon arriving at the monastery, Billy tries to "people" but he doesn't know how, he never had to before, with Jeralt's company.

He ultimately asks his newest boss how "peopling" works, and Rhea of course pretends she knows very well how to socialise !

"Try giving them presents, looking at them straight in the eyes, to convey your feelings !"

It's a foolproof method, she did it back when she was Seiros the Warrior and gave Willy a shiny warm rock. Surely it was this gift that made them become friends.

Taking her advice to heart, Billy starts to stare at people while giving them gifts, from cut flowers to fruits to random junk left on the floor.

He even stares at people during teatime, giving them pastries, but when he tried to pour tea in their teacups, he kind of spilled it. Besides, a student told him he was making them uncomfortable with all that staring.

Bringing the issue to Rhea, she nodded and pulled out a pair of short and weird pants.

"The less you wear, the more comfortable people will be around you !"

After all, when Seiros the Warrior donned her battle gear, her allies' morale raised for some reason, even if it made some people more distracted.

Billy found the new pair of pants ridiculous, but wore them nonetheless. As expected, students became more sociable, especially a pink haired one who said if she could relax like he does this school wasn't so "old and boring" after all.

The plan worked so well that Billy decided to pack it for his "away trip" to some foreign school. Rhea helps him pack, removing useless stuff (Cichol's treaty on strategy) and packing two dozens preserved Zanado fruits "for the trip !" and a box of homemade cookies "to share with your New friends !".

The strange old man with a large and even stranger hat stared at him, but finally let him in after eating a Zanado fruit.

Billy reported to Rhea how he made friends there, surely because nobody was wearing a lot of clothes, but before she could implement a new dress code, Seteth returned from his annual visit to the easter church.

Way way way later, Archbishop Billy wonders if he should pull out the "friendship pants" to welcome emissaries from all around the world, but Seteth informs him how the Imperial Army destroyed it when they sacked the monastery.

[hauntingblue]

Today I dreamed that I was in a ship with Anne and Eleanor and Anne got killed by her and I went insane with grief ajdjaksjk

[merry-andrews]

This art was so inspiring I had to!!

A parody version of this thai music video lmaooo

[lovelyyandereaddictionpoint]

Yandere Animal Town (2) | Only Human

Part 1

You awake from your midday nap to the sounds of shouts from a man and a woman. Sounding like the latter is in distress you immediately run for your bat opening up the door facing the road. To find a billy goat man pulling a cow woman towards your doorstep; similar to their animal counterparts the man is short and wide sporting a dirtied tank top sleek with sweat. The female cow being pulled by tiny horns on her head is bent awkwardly wearing a revealing top with underwear and a jockstrap. Before you need to say anything the billy goat man is gruffing in your direction.

“Oh, so this is where the rumored human is. Well, aren’t you pretty?”

You don’t bother answering that. “What are you doing to here and what are you doing to her?”

Your question has him looking at the crying girl and spitefully pulling her closer as her knees buckle to the ground. All the while she’s crying and pleading incoherently. None of that seems to bother the goat man though as he spits in disgust.

“I’m showing this heifer ain’t nobody gonna want her! Dry as the Sahara this cow is she ain’t give make me any money for the food she eats.”

For emphasis he throws her to the ground, waiting for her to crawl back to him. When she opens her mouth to continue pleading he kicks the sandy dirt in her face. It makes you sick. 

“I’ll take her.”

They both look up at you in surprise. The billy goat man belts out in laughter as a disgusting smirk spreads on his face. 

“Oh, I see! Looking for another kind of milk, huh? Good luck with that!” He kicks at her again as he turns back to his truck. “Enjoy it Heifer you might actually be of worth for once.”

As he speeds off in his rickety, rusted truck she cries out making a desperate attempt to follow. Tripping over the dirt, barely a couple steps in; scraping her knees in her unconventional wardrobe. She crumples into herself crying with her hoarse voice, you let her go on for awhile before lifting her up and into the house.

You don’t know the ethics or the inner workings of farming when it comes to hybrids. Only barely catching the surface of the unregulated and often cruel practices that ensue because it’s a market for hybrids to be typically successful. With this in mind your careful to be gentle to not take it personally when she refuses to speak to you. You can’t imagine what she’s gone through.

“Here’s a towel and some soap and a washcloth. I ran a bath for you.”

“.....”

“I’ll come check on you in a bit. Take your time.”

She only wordlessly follows your commands with a sullen look on her face. Even when Titan comes around poking and prodding at the new face, she hardly reacts. 

“Hey, you! What’s your problem, huh? Why aren’t you smiling, huh? Why are you wearing (Y/n)’s clothes? It’s not fair!”

“Hey Titan give her space she’s having a rough day!”

“Well when I’m sad I just go to you. Why can’t she do that?”

“Sometimes I just don’t make everybody happy, Titan. And that’s okay.”

“That’s stupid.”

“.....Waaaaaaaaa”

“Titan!”

“Sorry!”

After canceling your dinners with the neighbors for the week much to their displeasure you settle her into a bedroom close to yours. Just in case. It isn’t until the next morning that you wake to tears on your face. Sitting above you her bust taking up most of your vision is the cow woman silently crying as she pulls at her teats only for nothing to come out. 

“I’m useless. I can’t even do this for you!”

You spend the day comforting the cow woman who’s drenching herself in endless tears. With lots of assurance that you ask for nothing from her and talk to her about her ‘job’ she finally opens up.

“...It’s Eudora.”

“Eudora…that’s a beautiful name.”

“It was what they called my mother before…he…took over. She never officially bequeath it to me…because she never got to retire.” 

Lots of hugs and praise are what fills your days with Eudora. Breaking the unhealthy practices regarding eating and what she did throughout the day. Instead of letting her lay in bed and stew in her dark thoughts, you invite her to your picnics and follow after Titan as he explores the groves of your property. Without the fear of not producing milk or verbal abuse she finally starts to smile and actually taking your advice. 

“You are a queen Eudora, just like the others at that farm.”

“Hahaha me? A queen?”

“Yes!”

“Is this some city thing you guys call people?”

“Kind of but the point is, is that you barely realize how gorgeous and desirable you are just because. It’s a way to remind you of that.”

“....Wow…that’s really sweet, (Y/n)....”

“Just being honest–”

“That’s not fair if she’s your queen I wanna be your king!”

“Titan, she’s not mine. She’s nobody’s but her own.”

“💜”

“Gross. Can I still be your king (Y/n)!?”

She really starts to settle in as your roommate, helping you with your growing list of chores. Learning alongside to cook with you as you entertain the neighbors that continue to visit so eagerly. Despite letting herself get pushed to the side when they come around she’s really come into herself. Taking the clothes you’ve given her and styling it into something that works for her. Spending time and your money into her appearance. And if that wasn’t great enough she woke up to a curious surprise. 

“AAAAAhhhh!”

“W-what’s wrong!?”

“Milk spots!”

“What?”

“I’ve got milk spots! I’m leaking!”

Turns out all her body needed was a little TLC and it felt the need to lactate better than she’s ever had before. Days in the past spent blissfully walking through your fields are spent milling herself into whatever glasses you have. As it continues it gets worse better enough so that she eventually has to call on you to help. It’s a tad awkward for her to fling the maternity breast pump you bought for her as she demands you do it for her. 

“E-eudora c’mon I’ve never done anything like this I’m not going to—”

“NO!! I NEED YOU TO DO THIS! Otherwise it’s going to take all day!”

So there goes an hour in the morning to help her release the gallons of milk her happy body produces. Constantly hearing the wanton moans of the cow woman you’re doing such a big favor. When you're finished, you have Tank frantically sniffing you both for some odd reason as he comments about the suspicious noises he was hearing.....from miles away. Eudora doesn’t bother clearing up the misunderstanding you just aren’t picking up on.

“So I believe you too were awfully loud this morning”

“Oh, you heard us, did you? Lucky dog, I’m sure you wish you were in my position.”

“Uhm I don’t know why Tank would want to do what you were doing.”

Tank is whining. “It doesn’t smell like what I think it was.”

“Ha just because you can’t smell it doesn’t mean it didn’t happen.”

“Well if you’re smelling milk then that’s accurate. Eudora made way more than we can cook with so we’re going to take it to the market today.” 

“oh…milk….The kind that comes from-?”

“Her? Yeah. What kind of milk could I be talking about?”

“Come on, (Y/n)! We’re going to lose daylight talking to him.”

“I–I–wanna come too!”

With all the publicity from the suddenly amazing milk from the odd human that’s recently moved in floats around. Of course, the sweaty gross billy goat is circling back to your place. Spitting and pointing when you finally come out to the enraged short man. The cow woman and the dog boys on your property at the time are all on guard.

“I want ‘em back! You cheated me you hairless skank!!!”

“You can’t have her if she doesn’t want to go!”

“Why you–”

“Grrrr!”

“Wait (Y/n)...I’ll handle this.”

She agrees to go with him. Kissing you on the cheek as she promises she’ll return by tonight. It feels like you’ve failed as she walks into the passenger seat with her now confident strut and proud smile in an outfit she feels comfortable in. It feels like you’ve lost that is until that rickety truck pulls up again in the dead of night. Tiffany staying up with you after attempting to put you to sleep and joining you as you run to see if your friend truly had returned. 

“I’m back~!” 

“Eudora!” 

The hug is your victory and it’s also a little off center. 

“Uh, heels?”

“A gift from the girls back home. Turns out the ownership of the farm was recently called into question and I’ve recently been included in a new business venture. An opening was recently made.” 

“Does this mean you’ll be moving in back there?”

Eudora hates how eager Mama Tiffany sounds with her speeding tail.

Eudora delights in the wagging slowing down with her next words

“No, I just figure I’ll be contributing a bit more to the home. Is that alright (Y/n)?”

“Of course, I’m so proud of you Eudora!”

Mama Tiff is livid along with her sons as she watches the cow-woman move in with designer bags and start paying to reinforce the fence on your property starting with the flap Titan loves sneaking in through. From then on she too comes with you when you head into town, not afraid to pull down her designer pink glasses to verbally put down anyone still brave enough to talk down to you. But by now it isn’t all hateful talks, she’s still chasing off anyone with mildly too positive intentions.

“Look feline if you don’t back off now I might be convinced not to starve your family.”

“You can’t do that!”

“Ah, but I can. Would you like to see?”

She’s sure she doesn’t need the extra help from your puppy neighbors but she’ll take it. If only to keep her nails clean, she’ll stick to her own strengths. Happily pulling you behind your market stalls because she desperately needs to be milked. She only trusts you–her human to do such a thing. No one else in this town is worthy of squeezing the liquid magic she can create than you– her dear one and only human.

“Come (Y/n) I need you. You are my special human—the only human I trust to help me fuel my empire. You won’t refuse me, right?”

Part 3: Here

Taglist: @midnight-nightmares @xrenka @candlesworlds-blog @00hellohello00 @lem-hhn @kawaii-cakes

[dollarbils]

can i suck it? | b.e.

billie eilish x fem!reader

context. your best friend, billie, wants to take a look at your new nipple piercing. so you let her..

warnings. smut, praising, degrading?, flirting, oral, hella teasing.

masterlist

“oh my god did it hurt?” billie was questioning you, as you’d just walked through the door, back from the piercing studio. she was sitting on one of the stools beside her kitchen counter.

“of course it did, idiot.” she rolled her eyes at your response. “well what did you expect?” you chuckled but she ignored the question.

“like on a scale from one to ten though.” she wasn’t looking at you, she was staring at your clothed tits. it was as if she thought the harder she stared, the more likely she was to be able to see through your shirt.

“like a seven out of ten, cause it was super fast.” you answered her question and she tore her eyes away from your tits, trying to focus on you words.

“what?” she asked, not having been paying attention to what you were saying.

“i said the pain was a seven out of ten.” you repeated, biting your inner lip as she tried not to look at your cleavage again.

“oh right, does it still hurt?” she asked, giving herself an excuse to look down at where your top started. you nodded but she didn’t seem to care. this made you chuckle again.

“do you want to see it?” the question came out too fast for you to think rationally.

“what?” her eyes were wide, her expression almost confused before she read your own.

“do you want to see my nipple piercing?” you blushed at the realisation of what you were asking her.

“fuck yeah.” she grinned, licking her teeth.

“okay.” you replied, pulling your shirt off, since you’d just been pierced, you weren’t wearing a bra. your breasts were now fully exposed in front of your best friend. and she was staring at the right one, the two dainty balls of metal seeming to hypnotise her. she didn’t say anything, but kept staring.

“well? what do you think?” you asked finally.

“it’s hot.” she said, reaching out to touch the metal on your nipple as her fingers ghosted over the skin of your breast. the small touch made you suck in a breath as she proceeded to softly touch the piercing. she looked up at you, her hand still on your nipple, reminding you of her touch. her lips pulled up to one side when she saw your reaction to her touch.

“so does it still hurt?” she asked again, almost a whisper, looking back down, now playing with it. she was practically drooling at the sight. mesmerised and unable to look away.

“a little.” you replied but it was more of a breath. your best friend was getting a little too comfortable with your tits. you didn’t mind it. but it still came as a shock when you felt her thumb swipe across your already hard nipple.

“billie.” you breathed silently.

“fuck, sorry. i got carried away.” her thumb left your nipple immediately, the loss of contact making you shiver.

“no it was, I-” you fumbled your words, trying to recover from what had just happened as she looked at you hesitantly.

“what?” she questioned after a short silence. a smile returned to your lips when you built up the courage to tell her what you wanted.

“i liked it.” her eyebrows raised slightly as you looked down at her. your breaths hot and desperate. you’d tell her anything to feel her warmth on your body again, even so small of a touch.

“yeah?” she licked her bottom lip as she eyed you. returning her hand to your breast. you nodded as she brought her wet lips to your skin.

“fuck bils,” you gasped when she bit down on the skin next to the piercing. quickly her tongue swiped across your nipple, pulling out a moan. her lips traveled away from your cleavage, and up your neck. the more she kissed you, the more you felt it down in your heat.

“you’re so fucking gorgeous, my girl.” she said before coming up to your face, lifting herself off the stool so that she was now an inch taller than you.

“your girl?” you asked quietly, looking at her eyes, although they were looking elsewhere, down at your plump lips.

“just go with it, pretty.” her lips finally landed on your own, after too long of them being everywhere else. you kissed her as she brought her hands back to your tits, being cautious with the right one. she backed you against the door of her bedroom, while fiddling with the handle and opening it. your lips only parted when you fell gently onto her bed. she removed her own shirt before coming down to kiss you again.

“baby?” the term of endearment new to you, however you answered.

“hm?” you replied.

“can i suck it?” she pleaded. and you laughed softly.

“as much as i’d like you to, you’ll have to wait a week, it’s still sensitive.” you told her and she nodded in understanding, however obviously disappointed.

“okay.” she said before closing her mouth around the other one. the shock of her actions making you moan louder than you’d wanted to. she smiled as she sucked your bare nipple, while playing with the pierced one.

“billie? do we need to talk about the fact your sucking my tits?” your breath was shaky, but she stopped her actions at your words. and you regretted them quickly.

“is it a problem?” she smirked, replaying your previous moans in her mind. you shook your head. “do you want me to continue?” she asked, her voice now sultry.

“yes.” you admitted as her lips attached to your nipple again, this time biting on the flesh as she had done back in the kitchen. one of your hands went to her hair as she continued her abuse on your left tit. it felt like she wanted to devour them.

“billie.” you moaned again as she her warm breath tickled your wet skin. she looked up at you, her eyes dark and her lips swollen. it was a fucking sight. your head fell back onto the pillow as you felt your heat tingle at the lack of friction. she brought her mouth back up to yours, licking your lip as she entered your mouth. her tongue was warm on your own, but her hands were cold on the skin of your stomach.

“fuck, we should’ve done this sooner.” she whispered on your lips as you smiled in agreement. her hands traveled further down your stomach, as she slowly undid the zip of your jeans.

“may i?” she asked, pulling slightly on the waist, indicating she wanted them off.

“yeah.” you told her, as you felt her soft hands pull the fabric off of you.

“god you’re so hot, baby.” she stared at your body, then moving her gaze to your flushed face. “been dreaming of this for too long.” she whispered on your neck as her hands toyed with your panties.

“yeah?” you asked. she quickly nodded, licking a previous spot she had kissed. “me too.” you added and she came back up to your face poking her cheek with her tongue as she looked down at you. it nearly made you explode.

“tell me about those dreams.” she challenged. her hands were now teasing your thighs, as she traced patterns on them. you hesitated for a moment, but you were so consumed with her touch you’d do anything to feel it forever.

“you would kiss me, everywhere, except for where i needed you most. but i begged, and you gave me what i wanted. because you always would.” she raised her eyebrow at your response, not expecting something so blunt.

“and what do you want?” she asked, holding back her own groans at your filthy words.

“your mouth on my pussy, sucking my clit instead of my tits.” she slowly tilted her head back, not knowing how to digest what you’d just asked of her. your best friend.

“fuck, baby. i’ll give you anything you want.” she breathed before nearly ripping off your panties, they were gone in seconds. when she dove her fingers through your folds, you gasped at the sudden sensation, gripping the sheets slightly as she played with your wetness.

“who’s got you this wet, pretty girl.” she teased, lowering herself until she was kissing the skin above your heat. “hm?” she repeated, waiting for an answer.

“you.” it was breathy, but she accepted it. and when her lips wrapped around your clit, your hands flew to her hair.

“fuck.” you whimpered as she continued sucking and licking. she was avoiding your hole, knowing it would mean you’d grow frustrated. and soon, you did. whining her name and pleading for her to do more.

“i thought this was what you wanted?” her grin was filthy as you whined again. “there’s no use in saying my name, wether it’s a whine, a moan, or even a scream. you’ve got to tell me what you want baby.” her words did nothing to help you form a sentence in your mind. you couldn’t think straight with her breath on your cunt.

“i haven’t even fucked you yet and you can’t seem to speak. is that what you want me to do?” she asked, mocking you slightly but lovingly all the same. you nodded, hoping she’d let you off easy.

“i need to hear you say it.” she moved away completely from your heat, and she came up to look at your face.

“please billie.” you were breathing quickly.

“please what?” she was biting her lip. as if she’d burst if the words came out of your mouth. her hands were rubbing your thighs again, as she placed a kiss on the corner of your lips.

“please fuck me with your tongue.”

“you’re so pretty when you beg for me. am i living up to your dreams?” you nodded and she chuckled. “you’re exceeding mine.” she whispered before dipping her head back down to your heat, and immediately running her tongue through your folds again. she didn’t waste any time when darting her tongue into your hole, gripping your thighs as they squeezed her head. she moaned at the taste of your arousal and spread your lips further with two fingers. you couldn’t hold in your moans and she was loving it. it urged her to go faster, and harder, just to hear you moan her name louder and louder. over and over again. she’d never heard her name sound so good, and it turned her on more than she’d admit.

“mh.” she groaned as you clenched around her tongue, pulling at her hair while she ate you out. she was feral for you, for your taste. and she ate you out as if she was starved. when you finally came into her mouth, she licked you clean. despite your whines of sensitivity.

“fuck billie.” you said, out of breath.

“you looked so goddamn good, when you came on my tongue.” this made you laugh softly, your cheeks flushed as she wrapped her arms around your naked body.

“i’m going to remind you in a week, when i can finally suck your tittie.” she said jokingly but you knew she was dead serious. you laughed however, warmth flooding your body as you nuzzled further into her.

note: can you tell i have a thing for best friend billie. also, thought you’d like to know where i got the inspo for this:

[sativaonsaturn]

how i spot the signs

based on risings and sun

♈︎ aries:

scars on the face/ head

freckles

very direct way of speaking; yk what they’re saying the first time they say it. don’t usually have to repeat themselves

sometimes redheaded or dyed red

natural leaders, even if they’re not the leader they tend to naturally command respect

also naturally loud speakers; not obnoxious but you can definitely hear them

usually very friendly if not approachable too

♉︎ taurus:

the women are ALWAYS pretty!! very conventionally attractive faces (venus)

what you see is what you get

usually know exactly what hairstyles/ makeup complement them

voices tend to be flat/ monotone

tend to lean towards earth tones and often even have an olive/ green undertone

♊︎ gemini:

very talkative 😭

men tend to be quite lanky but not very tall

love eccentric clothes/ accessories (ex: one earring, rainbow dyed hair, blonde eyebrows)

everyone knows them and they know everyone, tend to be quite approachable

they get bored quite easily. if you’re dating one, (not even considering venus) they’re likely to be really into you initially and seemingly dial it back out of nowhere or ghost completely 😭

♋︎ cancer:

big titties 😭 (esp rising)

tend to have round faces (moon)

tend to be a bit timid in new environments, talkative when they’re comfortable; cautious people

typically very warm people (sometimes literally), gives mom vibes fr

super funny naturally, true comedians even if they’re just saying what���s on their mind

i’ve noticed cancer artists make really raunchy songs (ex: Work It by Missy Elliot, Big Poppa by Biggie, Candy Shop by 50 Cent)

♌︎ leo:

noticeable hair (ex: big hair, long + healthy hair, unique curl pattern)

everyone knows them, may not know everyone

also natural leaders but tend to be a bit friendlier than aries (and typically more concerned w/ who likes them than aries)

love to laugh! always cracking jokes or finding a way to lighten the mood

command attention (good, bad, or both) immediately and w/out trying

♍︎ virgo:

usually look really focused or deep in thought

can also look far away when you first meet them especially if they’re virgo rising

can be quiet when you first meet them too; usually cause they’re reading the room before they speak

almond/ small eyes

usually have to wear glasses/ contacts

tend to wear earth tones

♎︎ libra:

men look like professors or authors, especially the octobers

september libras seem to loveeee pink

usually quite talkative but also typically read the room well, may even mirror it

tactful/ organized people, again especially octobers

typically love pretty, clean cut things. so clothes are ironed, delicate perfume, earrings always in, hair always done.

libra risings always look like libras 😭 very symmetrical faces, just look like they know a lot

♏︎ scorpio:

usually the hardest to guess

often in the know abt everyone w/out even asking

does someone seem like they’re openly themselves, knows everyone, big personality.. but you also get the feeling you don’t know them at all? probably a scorpio

tend to be the life of the party, definitely know how to have a good time

♐︎ sagittarius:

can be tall or short but the men almost always have very athletic builds

they know everyone and everyone knows of them

talking shit 24/7

tend to be confrontational and blunt people - will absolutely tell somebody like it is

likely a lot of rumors about them. like you may hear about them before you even meet them

very pronounced calves and/or hips

very noticeable/ distinct laugh and voice

tend to have big, bright smiles (ex: Miley Cyrus, Billie Eilish, Colman Domingo)

♑︎ capricorn:

very dry humor

always moving, if they’re not moving they mentally occupied

usually you hear they’ve been independent from an early age

adapt very well, can usually be whatever they need to be for the moment

the women are typically striking or have memorable features (ex: Dolly Parton, Zooey Deschanel, Ice Spice)

the men look strong minded and strong willed (ex: Denzel Washington, LL Cool J, Zayn Malik)

♒︎ aquarius:

often look very lost or in a daze

jokeskers

tend to say things to get a rise out of people but that’s not to say what they’re saying isn’t true; sometimes it’s the way they say it

can sometimes be the smartest in the room; they notice everything and forget nothing + very quick thinkers

women tend to be thick (ex: Megan Thee Stallion, Kenya Moore, Oprah, Uzo Aduba)

♓︎ pisces:

tend to be quite spiritual/ pious people but if not, equally as passionate abt not believing in like a higher power

women usually look ethereal either in dress or face (ex: Lupita Nyong’o, Rihanna, Dakota Fanning, Drew Barrymore)

can act a bit like God’s gift to the earth, especially the men

tend to be frugal and in turn usually very well off or at least comfortable

sativaonsaturn 🪐🍃

[hollygl125]

William Petersen in MANHUNTER (1986), dir. Michael Mann

“These are all gonna make it, guaranteed.”

[baronessvonglitter]

Bad Santa

sleazy mall Santa!Joel Miller x fem!Reader

Word count: 2.3K

Summary: Frantically seeking relief during the Christmas rush, the Santa at your local mall is the last person you'd expect to help.. and the only one who can.

WARNINGS: 18+ Only! Explicit. Reader is a hot and horny mess and wears a short skirt. Mall Santa is a perv, but he's your perv. Semi-public masturbation (f). Squirting. Cockwarming. Semi-public sex. Infidelity. Unprotected piv. Oral (m & f receiving). Analingus (f receiving). Possibly illegal use of a candy cane. Creampie. Come swallowing. Santa Joel is a menace and a sleaze but that's what we all need, right?

Author's Note: one of the first things I learned about @strang3lov3 is that we share a deep love for Bad Santa (and Billy Bob in general) so this is written in her honor. Bug, I hope you enjoy Santa Joel, and don't forget to leave out some cigs and whiskey for him on Xmas Eve. (And the latest edition of Hustler. He's an old-school magazine man.)

JOEL MILLER MASTERLIST | FULL MASTERLIST

You're home on Christmas break from college and all you want to do is fuck the boyfriend you left behind and have been faithful to for four long, painful months. But the only thing on Derek's mind is doing last minute Christmas shopping.

The mall on Christmas Eve is the last circle of hell.

Derek guides you through the crowd. "Sleigh Ride" plays over the speakers, tinny, bright and cheery. You hate it. You're impatient. You're horny. You need to find a way to get him alone, even just a fingerbang would suffice. For now.

You pass by the huge Christmas tree in the center where the mall Santa waits with bored-looking elves. There's no line, which is surprising given it's the last day for photo ops.

Santa watches as you pass, cheap plastic beard hanging off, revealing gray scruff, his red suit wrinkled and stained. You track his gaze roving over your figure, fully concentrating on the jiggle of your ass under the short skirt you'd picked out in the hopes of getting a quickie.

"God damn," you hear him mutter. "Merry Christmas, babygirl." he calls out.

You glance back and see him pull the beard down, wiggling his tongue at you in a lewd manner.

Fucking sleaze. But your pussy is wet and throbbing, and this is the first bit of attention you've had all day. You respond by stuffing your tongue in your cheek and making a blow job motion. Santa licks his lips and subtly palms his cock over his fluffy red pants.

Derek, oblivious, is walking you towards a department store.

"Mommy said she'd like a new bathrobe for Christmas," he says, bringing you past the awful perfume and makeup counters. You heard right.. Mommy. What the fuck?

"Didn't you already buy her a foot massager?" you ask, barely hiding your disinterest, looking around for a corner where you can blow him.

"She said she wants the robe instead," he says, diligently checking each one on the rack. Pink, green, blue, they're all in ugly prints and you wonder how little he must think of his mom to actually buy her a bathrobe instead of something nice.

But the bigger problem is your aching cunt.

"Derek, come on, just pick one out," you beg him, whispering in his ear, giving his lobe a little bite.

"Calm down, we're in public," he chides you over nervous laughter.

"So? That makes it more exciting." Closer to him as the clothing rack hides you, you cup his crotch, disappointed to find he isn't even remotely hard. Not a problem. You know exactly how to get him started.

"Let's go to the dressing room," you tell him before he can remove your hand. "I'll let you do whatever you want, please, I just need you now.."

"Get a hold of yourself," he whispers harshly, finally pulling your hand from him.

"Derek, what the fuck?" you whisper back. "Your horny girlfriend wants you to fuck her in a semi-public place and you're limp as a fucking noodle. Don't you want to at least watch me get off?"

You're not even allowing him time to think about it, leading him to the men's dressing room, where you're less likely to set off an alarm than the women's. You step into the first stall and push him against the wall, caging him in with your arms.

"Sweetheart, what the hell?"

"Fuck me," you tell him. "Jesus, Derek, I'm pussy on a plate right now." You lift your leg, rubbing against him, but only the fly of his jeans provides any feeling. "And you can't even get hard??"

"You're coming on a little strong," he says faintly, as if he's being cornered by a feral animal. And in a way he is.

You lean back on the little dressing room seat, hiking up your skirt. "At least eat me out, for Christ's sake," you whine, fingers dipping into your dripping-over cunt.

"Darling! You're acting like a crazy person," he says, shielding his eyes as you desperately finger yourself.

"You're such a pussy," you grunt out, breath hitching as you fuck yourself on two, then three fingers.

"You're not wearing any panties??" he says too loud, but you're past caring who hears, or if anyone even walks in. You'll gratefully fuck the store manager and the security guard who'll probably come to haul you away.

Derek keeps his gaze averted as you continue shamelessly fucking your hand, reaching inside your dress to twist your nipple. "Derek.. fuck.. you just gonna stand there and be useless?" You shove a fourth finger in your snatch, eyes rolling to the back of your head.

Your boyfriend is deeply afraid as he risks a peek from between his hands covering his face. "You look possessed! You have to stop or someone's going to hear you!"

"Baby, please, put your cock in my mouth," you beg, still working yourself into a frenzy. "Jizz on my face, anything, please!" You're on the floor now, riding your own fingers, your other hand madly strumming at your clit like a perverted version of air guitar.

There's a knock at the dressing room door, to which you answer "Go away, we're fucking" Then you come, squirting all over the bathrobe Derek was going to gift his dear mommy.

"You're lucky that guy didn't turn us into the police," Derek says, tight-lipped as he leads you back towards the center of the mall. "Got it all out of your system?" He's leaving the store embarrassed and minus any gifts.

"Yes," you sigh in exasperation, though it's a bald-faced lie. The need is growing again and you're just a slave to it. Your hands itch to go up your skirt again, to relieve the tension before it becomes unbearable.

And there he is, right where you left him before. Fucking Santa Claus. Like he's been waiting for you this whole time.

"Let's take a picture," you pull on Derek's hand. "Please? End the day on a good note?" You do your best to look contrite but all you're thinking about is sitting on that sleazy man's lap, maybe getting felt up. It'd be fucking amazing to have someone touch you besides your own fingers.

Before he can even protest you're practically skipping past the velvet rope and traipsing up the candy-cane lined walk to the big green chair where Santa sits. His eyes already on you, he pats his lap, tongue peeking out between his lips.

Derek follows after, but is stopped by one of the elves, who tells him he has to pay in advance for a photo.

"And what's your name?" Santa murmurs, discreetly adjusting himself as you seat yourself on his lap. "Does it matter?" you ask, subtly lifting the back of your skirt as he pulls his thick hard cock. "Guess not," he chuckles low and deep, then hisses as your slick tight cunt envelops him.

"My fucking god," he says lowly, doing all he can to keep from thrusting up into you as your boyfriend comes up, all smiles as he watches you get cozy with Santa. He makes as if to sit on Santa's other thigh. "Not you," Santa grunts, his hands on your waist as you clench and throb around him. Derek holds a smile and stands to the side opposite you.

This, this is what you needed. His cock isn't even all the way in, the way you pulse around him pushes him out a little until his hands grab your waist, as if to pose you for the camera, and pushes you down, bottoming out within your sopping wet cunt.

"Gonna leave a mess on me," he murmurs. "Already got my lap soaked. And the suit's a fuckin' rental."

His breath smells like cigarettes and cheap booze and it's only making you want him more. "Fuck, I needed this.."

"You been a good girl this year?"

"Not at all."

He leans in and whispers: "Good girls get presents. Bad girls like you get to sit on Santa's fat cock." He shifts his lap up a little, jutting up into you and you bite your lip to barely suppress a moan.

Your picture is being taken with Santa but you could give a shit. Cockwarming him while he's whispering filth in your ear is the most fun you've ever had.

"Does baby girl want a candy cane?" he asks when it's time for you to go. Derek goes to pay, leaving you alone with Santa again. "We have some more in the elf cottage, You gonna come get one? Gotta earn it first.." His gloved finger traces your arm. "C'mon, ditch the wanker."

The elf cottage is a sparse room for the Santa's Wonderland employees to take their breaks, and right now it's filled with the sounds of flesh slapping on flesh, your moans muffled by the fluffy red hat he put there to quiet you as he bends you over the folding table and rams his holly jolly dick into your stretched needy cunt.

"That's it, baby, fuckin' take it. Let Santa stuff your tight lil' stocking," he grunts.

You moan around the red fluff of his hastily discarded hat, throat burning with all your pent-up screams. Christ, you've never had anyone so disgusting, so eager, so perfect to satisfy this itch that you've been unable to scratch yourself.

And lord, his cock is the most filling thing you'll ever have. You already know he's going to leave you gaping for the next few days.

He watches the ripples of your ass as you throw it back on him, taking his entire fucking shaft so that with each thrust his balls thwack against your inner thighs. "Tight and wet.. lil' bitch in heat, ain't ya?" he teases, circling his hips so you feel him against every square inch of your aching snatch. Your eyes roll to the back of your head, finally spitting out the stupid hat.

"Fuck me Santa, fuck me Santa, fuck me Santa," you chant in broken moans, pushing your hips back, demanding it hard and fast, which he gives even as you come, clamping down all around him in a vise grip.

"Jesus," he growls, pulling out and kneeling behind you. He purses his lips to your dripping cunt, wiggling his tongue against your folds before licking a wide stripe upwards, teasing your asshole with his tongue. You practically shove your ass against his face, his gloved hands spreading your cheeks to get better access.

Grabbing a candy cane from a basket on the table you unwrap it with your teeth and hand it to him. It's thick and hard, and Santa knows just what to do with it. Feasting on both your holes, he takes the candy cane and watches it disappear into your glistening pussy. Hearing your gasp encourages him to keep going, fucking you as his tongue keeps rimming your ass, delving into tease you.

There's a knocking at the makeshift cottage door, then a moment of silence and a "God damn it, Joel, not again!" from the other side. "Fucker's always doing something," the person, most likely one of the elves at the cash register, mumbles and walks off.

He's back inside you, sliding the candy cane between your lips, moving it in and out just as he moves in and out, keeping you spread open so he fill you with every inch. "Babygirl likes havin' somethin' to suck on, don't she?" he mutters, pumping steadily into you. "Gotta be a good girl and tell me where ya want it."

"Inside me," you beg, and he moves double time, hands on your shoulders as he ruts up against you, slamming every inch until you cry out again, knees buckling as you come hard and Santa Joel follows soon after, his jizz painting your insides in warm sticky ropes.

"Lick me clean, baby," he murmurs, and you immediately go to your knees, taking him deep into your mouth, your jaw aching as the tip of him hits the back of your throat. When you gag he keeps you there, your mouth filling with saliva until it spills out from your lips, mixed with his cum. You bob your head on his length, eyes watering as you look up at him, your cunt still throbbing as you start to leak him on the floor.

"Fuuuuck yes," he growls, hand on your head, teeth sinking into his lower lip as you suck him off, and it's a Christmas miracle he's hard again, and he's about to come. He holds your head still and facefucks you, your hands cupping his ass to stop him from going too shallow-- you need to be deepthroated for once in your life.

Santa Joel lets out another curse as he uses you to come, spurting his Christmas magic down your throat. "There's a good girl. Babygirl's thirsty for what Santa's got, huh?" he teases as you greedily swallow every bitter, salty drop.

Clothes are straightened before you leave the little elf cottage, but the look of satisfaction is plain on your face as you suck on the candy cane that you'd been fucked with only moments before. Santa Joel puts his hat back on his head and shuffles over to the helper elves. "I'm goin' out for another smoke break," he tells them.

The head elf puts her hands on her hips. "Joel, you're not allowed to take ten smoke breaks an hour!" But by then he's already on the way out, both middle fingers in the air to salute her.

Derek joins you, looking puzzled as he studies the holiday photo -- there's something off about the face you're making in it. "Did Santa give you that candy cane?"

Grinning, you slurp up the sweet peppermint that still has traces of your own flavor on it. "And then some."

dividers by @saradika 👑

Tagging those who showed interest: @clawdee @itwasntimethatdidit40 @milla-frenchy @myownwholewildworld

@penascigarette @hoelaris

[wonderjanga]

So there is that headcanon where Captian Marvel looks a lot like teth Aman (Black Adams kid) and him mistaking cap as his kid and trying to reconnect in a way making people think that Black Adam is Captain Marvels dad

*throws this idea at you and runs away*

*idea smacks me in the head*

Teth was furious. For good reason too. The Wizard literally sealed him away for nearly five thousand years. Then, the old man replaced him with some, from what he’d heard, bumbling idiot. So yes, he was furious, and he also wanted his job back. Something he could only get if the current champion was put down. Which he was on his way to this place called Fawcett to do.

When he got there, he could practically feel the magic emanating from the city. Were there magic ley lines here? Then it’s a no wonder the Champion chose to set up base here rather than one of the major cities. As of now, Adam was above the city surveying the terrain. Meanwhile, Billy in Marvel form is sitting on a roof, wondering who that weirdo hovering above the city.

Solomon: “Oh… Billy you have to kill that man.”

Marvel: “WHAT?” *gobsmacked and concerned because other than a couple times, Solomon has never been one to hop on the ‘kill that villain’ train*

Achilles: “Yeah, we’re sorry, but like, no joke, you actually gotta kill him.”

Marvel: “The other times were jokes?”

Mercury: “Kinda, but you absolutely have to kill this guy or he will kill you.”

Marvel: “Oh. Uhm… okay?” *sounds extremely nervous as he stands up* “So what do? Do I just…?”

Hercules: “Yeah, just like charge him, and beat him. To death.”

And that’s how Adam literally blinked and the next thing he knew, he was hurtling through the air and to the ground, far from the so called Fawcett. Damn it. The current Champion had found him first. When Adam crawled out of his crater, he was met with a face he didn’t think he’d ever see again. Aman.

Had that blasted Wizard brought his son back from the grave? Adam didn’t know whether he should be grateful, or enraged. On one hand, the Wizard brought his boy back. His boy whose life had ended too early. On the other hand, his boy had been thrust back into a life of danger as the Champion. Gods, how long had Aman been the current Champion? How long had the Wizard waited until he decided that doing this was acceptable?

As for Billy, he just stared down at the guy wearing black in confusion. Why did the Gods want him to kill this guy so bad? He isn’t attacking anyone. He’s kinda just there, staring up at up at Billy with the same confused expression Billy has. He also has the same lightning bolt? Billy had thought that was only reserved for people connected to the rock. The Wizard had never mentioned this guy before if that’s the case.

Black Adam: *mistakes Billy’s confusion as recognized* “…Aman?”

Marvel: *heard “a man” and just thought Adam just had some type of accent* “Yes…?” *now extremely confused*

Black Adam: “I can’t believe it.” *flies over to him and tries to reach out to him*

Marvel: *moves out of his reach because he does not know this rando*

Black Adam: *sounds slightly annoyed* “What did the Wizard tell you?”

Marvel: “Nothing? I just don’t know you.”

Black Adam: *looks absolutely disturbed* “He erased your memory?”

Marvel: *just about to answer when some monster starts attacking Fawcett* “Look, I gotta go. We’ll talk later.” *flies off to the monster*

Zeus: “How interesting.” *probably stroking his beard* “He didn’t immediately kill you.”

Solomon: “Be on watch Billy. He could still attack.”

Now, Adam obviously didn’t do that. He immediately went to Kahndaq, made himself pharaoh again and remodeled the palace as best as he could in such a short time. It wasn’t until about a week later that Adam came back to see his boy again.

Marvel: *finishes helping an old lady cross the road*

Black Adam: *lands beside him and clears his throat*

Marvel: “Oh, it’s you again!” *smiles*

Black Adam: “Yes. It is I.”

*silence*

Marvel: *desperate to fill the awkward silence* “I’m sorry, but I don’t think I caught your name the last time we met.”

Black Adam: “I am Teth Adam.” *is super hurt that his boy doesn’t remember him and is plotting on the Wizard*

Marvel: “Cool. I’m Captain Marvel. I’m fine with Cap, or Marvel, or whatever you can come up with.”

Black Adam: “So that’s what he has you going by…”

Marvel: “What?”

*another silence*

Black Adam: *clear throat again* “When… are you coming home?””

Marvel: “Home?”

Black Adam: “Home. Kahndaq. If you’re worried about becoming a slave again, after your…” *clears throat* “The point is, I worked to get rid of it.”

Billy honest to the Gods just assumed this guy was both lonely and another Champion.

Marvel: *confused at the mention of slavery* “Sure, I’ll come by. That’s in like Africa, right?”

Black Adam: *a little relieved that he’d visit, but also filled with a little dread because Marvel not knowing where Kahndaq is kind of supports the memory wipe theory* “I believe so.”

Marvel did visit. And sure, he might’ve had to work himself up for the awkward afternoon, but it wasn’t that bad. Teth seemed a little happier after the whole thing. Billy’s pretty sure at least. It’s a little hard to get a read the guy’s emotions.

Also, someone caught the end of their conversation, more specifically the coming home bit. Thus, the rumors of this new guy in black being Marvel’s father were born. These rumors were fueled by Adam trying to be fatherly, albeit awkwardly, and Billy just accepting it because he just thinks Adam is being nice.

Like the time Adam brought him a modernized version Aman’s favorite food because he thought he might still like it.

Achilles: “WAIT BILLY IT MIGHT BE POISONED-”

Marvel: *takes a big munch* “Wow, this is really good!”

Black Adam: *relieved* “It’s good you still like it.”

Yeah, Fawcitizens are like ninety percent sure Adam is their hero’s dad. And they’re here for it. They just want their big guy to be happy.

[aphrodeiities]

𝔞𝔰𝔠𝔢𝔫𝔡𝔞𝔫𝔱 𝔰𝔦𝔤𝔫𝔰 𝔞𝔫𝔡 𝔱𝔥𝔢𝔦𝔯 𝔟𝔢𝔞𝔲𝔱𝔶

♇ my discord chat chose this to be my 9,600 or 9,700 followers post? either way thank you so much for being with me for this path, i appreciate everyone :)

ʙᴜʏ ᴘᴀɪᴅ ᴄʜᴀʀᴛ ʀᴇᴀᴅɪɴɢꜱ ʙᴇꜰᴏʀᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴘʀɪᴄᴇꜱ ɢᴏ ᴜᴘ can get a paid venus/beauty/relationship reading from me!

follow for more content!

ᴀʀɪᴇꜱ ᴀꜱᴄᴇɴᴅᴀɴᴛ ʙᴇᴀᴜᴛʏ

RIHANNA, NIKKI REED, BILLIE EILISH AND KENDALL JENNER.

♇ aries ascendant beauty involves them having long heads, or a diamond head-shape, but they usually have a really nice side-profile. they're usually people who have slanted eyes, or sanpaku eyes, [there could be another proper word for it?], though i noticed that they have a large space of whites under their eyes, specifically rihanna, billie and kendall.

♇ their lower face is sharp, and smaller/thinner than their upper-face. they're women who can suit dark hair, and they naturally have dark and sharp eyebrows. most of the times, their eyebrows are straight. they have a thin nose bridge, and a long mid-face, full and distinct cheekbones along with full lips and an apparent cupids bow.

♇ they have a clear redness on their faces, specifically cheeks, like a natural blush. a pointy chin and foreheads that could be considered as large, or in a "nicer" term, a broad forehead.

ᴛᴀᴜʀᴜꜱ ᴀꜱᴄᴇɴᴅᴀɴᴛ ʙᴇᴀᴜᴛʏ

MILEY CYRUS, PHOEBE TONKIN, GIGI HADID AND MEGAN THEE STALLION.

♇ taurus ascendants have small heads and very strong cheek-bones, if it doesnt show naturally, it shows a lot when they smile. they tend to have full lips, but the lower lip is usually bigger than the upper lip. the tip of their nose is usually bulbous, i believe taurus rules the nose, if i am correct, especially because it rules the cow! <3

♇ they usually have very arched eyebrows, known as the venusian arch. compared to the aries ascendant, taurus ascendants usually have a wider nose bridge, and a short mid-face.

♇ their eyes could be considered as mesmerising and intense as their stare is usually very strong. their cheek bones are low, it gives them an apple shaped face. while doing my research, i noticed that most of them have wide lips and square heads, but it suits them really well.

ɢᴇᴍɪɴɪ ᴀꜱᴄᴇɴᴅᴀɴᴛ ʙᴇᴀᴜᴛʏ

LADY GAGA, AMY WINEHOUSE, MADISON BEER AND KRISTEN STEWART.

♇ gemini ascendants usually have a pale undertone, and their lips are usually naturally thin and very straight [also wide] with their upper lip being sharp, it could be deemed that they have a strong cupid's bow as well. the tip of their nose are usually distinct, whether it be big, bulbous, something about it would just stick out.

♇ they look good while wearing winged-eyeliner, and gemini ascendant people are usually individuals who have a long mid-face, and i've noticed that their face tends to stick out and can be very long but circular. one thing i noticed about gemini ascendants, specifically those who have strong mercurial placements, [specifically gemini] they tend to have a long edge at the side of their lips, it reminds me of joker lips since how wide it can be.

♇ their lips are usually very pink and they have slender necks. their eyes are usually colourful or could be considered as very pale. their beauty involves them having square foreheads/or a squared upper head. and if their heads arent oval, they tend to be very structured.

ᴄᴀɴᴄᴇʀ ᴀꜱᴄᴇɴᴅᴀɴᴛ ʙᴇᴀᴜᴛʏ

♇ cancer ascendant beauty involves them having big and beautiful smiles, the tail of their eyebrows tend to be long, while the front of their eyebrows are short. as expected, they have the crescent moon face touch, so sometimes their face could be unsymmetrical, specifically the lower jaw, [unsymmetrical does not mean not beautiful].

♇ their nose tip usually are wide, and their eyes are bright, usually looks like its glistening. their upper lip tend to be smaller than their lower lip, and they have full cheekbones and meaty chins. most of the cancer ascendants i have met have clear skins or it could have a lot of freckles or moles.

♇ cancer ascendants usually have strong but soft features, it stands out, especially when they turn to the side. and i noticed they usually have long noses.

ʟᴇᴏ ᴀꜱᴄᴇɴᴅᴀɴᴛ ʙᴇᴀᴜᴛʏ

MARILYN MONROE, VANESSA HUDGENS, BLAKE LIVELY AND JESSICA ALBA.

♇ very mesmerising beauty here, leo ascendants do well when they have bright coloured hair, specifically golden/blonde, they also have a bronze/golden undertone. their beauty also involves them having a heart shaped mouth and a long nose bridge.

♇ they're normally short women and have a square or rectangular face, and their chins are usually flat or wide, or both. most leo ascendants have feline eyes and full eyelashes. their beauty contains them having prominent smile lines and nice shoulders.

♇ as they have good posture, leo ascendant beauty includes them having a square fore-head and rosy cheeks. they normally have straight or nice teeth, usually because of virgo being in their second house.

ᴠɪʀɢᴏ ᴀꜱᴄᴇɴᴅᴀɴᴛ ʙᴇᴀᴜᴛʏ

LADAN FARAH, BELLA HADID, MILLIE BOBBY BROWN AND BROOKE SHIELDS.

♇ they sure do love their side profiles! virgo ascendant beauty includes them having pointy chins, sometimes it goes forwards, they have a prominent nose, could sometimes be seen as a "beak nose" as it's usually thin, very structured or bony. their upper face is square and their lips are usually wide.

♇ virgo ascendant beauty involves hem having a thin/narrow face, either doe eyes or feline eyes, either way, their eyes are usually big. they have arched eyebrows and usually a clean look, a structured jaw and sometimes a micro chin.

♇ noted that virgo ascendants usually have a dimple somewhere on their face, specifically their cheek or on their chin. and their figures are very thin most of the time, or they can appear as frail.

ʟɪʙʀᴀ ᴀꜱᴄᴇɴᴅᴀɴᴛ ʙᴇᴀᴜᴛʏ

BEYONCE, ANNA NICOLE SMITH, DOJA CAT, ZOE KRAVITZ.

♇ i noticed a lot of them have a light undertone, much libra ascendant beauty involves them having an oval face, [but as libra ascendant is a light essence, their other placements can over take, like anna nicole smith's sagittarius sun making her face more chiselled]. they have a lot of beauty moles and have a glow to them, it could be that hera touch.

♇ a thin nose bridge, very pink lips, and lips that could be considered as pouty. usually like to wear light/earthy coloured clothes, and have short foreheads, or foreheads that are medium sized. like to go for the light coloured hair styles.

♇ as they have a short lower face, their bodies can come off as very relaxed, with them having strong stares, they sometimes appear like they have superior looks. they usually wear much accessories.

ꜱᴄᴏʀᴘɪᴏ ᴀꜱᴄᴇɴᴅᴀɴᴛ ʙᴇᴀᴜᴛʏ

LANA DEL REY, LILY ROSE, EVA LONGORIA AND JANET JACKSON.

♇ scorpio ascendant beauty is them having dark attractive brows, strong cheek bones and a smaller upper lip. they have owl faces, they sometimes bring their faces forward like one, especially with them having slender necks, them looking like an owl intensifies.

♇ their jaw, chiefly the side of their jaws could be long, and their beauty includes eyes that twinkles, chins that are flat, and a low mid face, it makes them look like baby dolls.

♇ could be into having really dark or light hair, but the light hair are usually with scorpio moons. their beauty involves them having curly/wavy hair, and a full face that is still structured. or you can say chiselled. they could have similar thin noses to virgo risings, but it is not as bony looking.

ꜱᴀɢɪᴛᴛᴀʀɪᴜꜱ ᴀꜱᴄᴇɴᴅᴀɴᴛ ʙᴇᴀᴜᴛʏ

KIM KARDASHIAN, PARIS HILTON, ADRIANA LIMA AND JESSICA ALEXANDER.

♇ their big sultry eyes is apart of their allure, their eyes come off as darty, and sometimes they can be the hardest ascendant to tell, appearance wise. they're people who do well with nude colours, and when it comes to their lips, their lower lip appears to be larger than their upper lip.

♇ with high cheekbones, they sometimes tend to pucker their lips a lot, which is funny because it gives the horse face structure, [im a sagittarius ascendant]. their beauty is their long noses with a buttoned tip, their nose bridges could be thin but as the nose goes lower, it can be very wide in comparison to the nose bridge.

♇ they usually have straight eyebrows, long but square faces, and heavy eye make up compliments them well. sagittarius ascendants beauty involves them having big gummy smiles and having this elf/fairy essence.

ᴄᴀᴘʀɪᴄᴏʀɴ ᴀꜱᴄᴇɴᴅᴀɴᴛ ʙᴇᴀᴜᴛʏ

KYLIE JENNER, AISHWARYA RAI, ARIANA GRANDE AND MEGAN FOX.

♇ capricorn ascendant beauty has them mostly having short and square faces, doe eyes and eyes that are a light shade, with it being paired with having strong noses, they come off as daring and sultry. their eyebrows are usually arched, almost horn-like. most capricorn ascendants have very light pink coloured lips.

♇ they tend to have a small but pointy chin, somewhat like their sister sign, cancer. capricorn ascendant beauty involves them having most of their features in the middle, and they can sometimes appear like they're fragile, example, ariana grande. with the other capricorn ascendant people i've done research on, they usually tend to do surgery.

♇ their beauty involves them having almond shaped eyes and full eye-lashes, like dolls. they remind me of blythe dolls. most of them have this cold beauty, a type of essence that makes them appear like they're hard to reach, muted colours look good on them as well. and i've noticed they have dimples.

ᴀQᴜᴀʀɪᴜꜱ ᴀꜱᴄᴇɴᴅᴀɴᴛ ʙᴇᴀᴜᴛʏ

GABRIETTE, ZENDAYA, AURDREY HEPBURN AND AALIYAH.

♇ tim burton kind of beauty, have a specific hairstyle, and like the sign they share the same planet with, capricorn, aquarius ascendants have square heads. compared to other aquarius placements, aquarius ascendants are least likely going to have alien shaped heads in my opinion. on the other hand, their beauty involves them having a ghostly or classic type of beauty.

♇ they have pretty hands, could be the aries in the third house, and are likely interest in thin brows, or could be into styling them. overall, the eyebrows are distinct. they tend to have a big sized nose, and when it comes to their eye shapes, they are usually slender and kind of downturned, or it looks sleepy. red lipstick looks good on them.

♇ tend to have a dimple in their chin, and have sad eyes, the tip of their noses are sometimes downturned. and they have low cheekbones which adds onto their ghostly/ghastly look.

ᴘɪꜱᴄᴇꜱ ᴀꜱᴄᴇɴᴅᴀɴᴛ ʙᴇᴀᴜᴛʏ

BARBARA PALVIN, ROSÉ, JENNA ORTEGA AND SABRINA CARPENTER.

♇ they look like both baby cows but fishes at the same time, specifically the female fish from fishtales, their cheeks are usually full and puffy, and their beauty involves them having very blue eyes, if not blue, it appears as very watery. when i was looking at pictures of them, most of them had their mouths open...it's a cute fish thing.

♇ they have diamond heads and sharp chins, their beauty involves them having short eyebrows, and tend to have a surprised but focused look. they look good in many colours, but specifically pink.

♇ pisces ascendants tend to have chiselled faces, and big eyes and small figures, if not by the help by other planets. women who are pisces ascendants tend to be midgets, but its a cute look on them.

ʙᴜʏ ᴘᴀɪᴅ ᴄʜᴀʀᴛ ʀᴇᴀᴅɪɴɢꜱ ʙᴇꜰᴏʀᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴘʀɪᴄᴇꜱ ɢᴏ ᴜᴘ can get a paid venus/beauty/relationship reading from me!

[fifthnailinstevesbat]

thinking of a new steddie fic/au hmmm.

It’s just the classic, Steve buys weed from Eddie in season 1 era, he and Tommy meet him at the bench in the woods behind school. Steve and Eddie have some playful banter and clearly get along, but it’s dismissed as just a drug deal and they go on about their lives.

Next time they meet is when a frantic Steve comes and finds Eddie after he’s just fought off the demogorgon for the first time. He’s rattled, and skittish, wearing a nasty black bruise on his eye, and just overall not acting like himself. He snaps at Eddie multiple times to just ‘hurry up’ and ‘get him his stuff’, and sure he’s being an asshole, but more than anything Eddie is just concerned. He has never seen The King Steve Harrington lose his cool like this. So Eddie cautiously gives him the weed, making sure not to give too much, and lets him go about his day, but not before asking if he’s alright. Steve clearly wasn’t expecting this and brushes it off defensively, but that doesn’t mean he’s not thinking about it for the rest of his week. How the hell did Eddie Munson notice something was wrong, when his own parents didn’t? Nor his “friends”?

They cross paths again a year later, the beginning of season two. Steve is still with Nancy and has freshly dumped his old douchebag crew of superficial friends. He is still sitting quite comfortably on the higher ranks of popularity, but there is no denying his status is not what it used to be. He comes to buy weed from Eddie in the first week back at school, and it’s a casual interaction. He’s still as charmingly stuck up as he ever was, but now without Tommy there to judge his every move, he seems a little more at ease when making casual conversation with Eddie. Eddie doesn’t mention the year before and Steve is so glad for it, secretly very embarrassed that he went to Eddie for some refuge after arguably his most traumatic experience to date. He gets his stuff, giving Eddie a smirk when he notices he’s dropped the price significantly for Steve when it’s just him alone. Eddie gives him a challenging smile back, almost daring him to call it out, but he doesn’t. They both just laugh and part ways.

The next run in is tina’s halloween party. They notice eachother when Steve first arrives, making eye contact and giving a polite nod. Maybe Eddie lifts his drink up to Steve in a silly salute. They don’t speak at all or make any effort to hang around eachother. That is, until Steve storms down the stairs in a rage after he’d gone up there with Nancy Wheeler. But then are those- tears? Eddie was standing on the front porch smoking a cigarette, trying to discreetly hide from one Billy Hargrove to avoid having to sell him anything, but staying visible enough that he won’t lose all chances of making any money tonight. Steve storms right past him and hits his shoulder. Eddie whips around and is about to call him a dick before he sees who it is.

Steve tries to quickly wipe his face, he won’t make eye contact with Eddie, and he’s clearly trying to get out as fast as he can. Eddie doesn’t let him, though, since he’s obviously not thinking very clearly and is most likely about to do something emotional and stupid. He asks if Steve’s alright, and his answers are all short and rushed, so he’s definitely not. They’re not really friends, but Eddie’s not an asshole.

— “Did you drive?” Eddie asks

“Yeah”

“Well, you’re drunk, Steve. You can’t get behind a wheel right now. And if I knowingly let you, then that makes me an accomplice. I’ll take you home.”

Steve tries to protest, attempting to push past him, but Eddie interjects. “Yeah, yeah, alright! Don’t thank me yet, Steve’o. This is not for you, see, I’m not trying to get a criminal record, here. I cant go to prison, Steve. Do you know what they’d do to a pretty guy like me in prison? Nope, let’s go hot stuff.” —

Eddie takes Steve home. They don’t talk much. By the time they reach Steve’s drive way and Eddie has put his van in park, Steve is making no attempt to exit the vehicle just yet. Eddie doesn’t know what to do, he didn’t really plan this far, so he’s just tapping away awkwardly at his steering wheel while Harrington stares down the dashboard so clearly lost in thought Eddie fears his head might explode. Steve tells Eddie what happened, says it’s ‘relationship troubles’, and he’s not quite sure what compelled him into being so honest with Eddie Munson, but he’s blaming the alcohol. Eddie wasn’t expecting that. They chat for a bit, Eddie makes Steve laugh and considers the whole night a success after that. Then they start cracking jokes about their shared hatred for Hargrove, and Steve looks and sounds a bit more ok to go inside. He thanks Eddie, quite sincerely actually, and it throws him a bit. He stutters a ‘yeah, for sure. It’s no problem.’ And Steve goes home.

After that, it’s a little different. Steve, doesn’t actually really have anyone, anymore. When they go back to school he’s now greeting Eddie here and there in the hallways, making conversation when they find themselves alone together, in the lunch line or at the bathroom sink. He doesn’t approach Eddie when there’s too many people around, though. As much as he’s grown, Steve Harrington still carry’s some prejudice in him about how certain things may make him look. But it doesn’t bother Eddie too much. It’s not like they are really friends, they’re just like, strange acquaintances. And Steve would never deny that they get along, that really Eddie’s ‘not so bad’. So that’s a win.

Steve finds Eddie again not long after the party to buy some more weed, a plan that sparked purely out of boredom. Eddie says yes, of course, but tells him if he wants it today he will need to wait till after school and meet Eddie at his place, since he was busy. So Steve takes a trip to the Munson trailer to make his deal. Eddie invites him inside and they sit together on the couch as he gets Steve’s bag ready. They end up making quite pleasant conversation, joking around and ultimately finding they are really enjoying each other’s company. They enjoy it so much so, that Steve ends up smoking there, with Eddie. So now they are kind of like, hanging out? And it’s fun, so they do it again. Still they’re not, friends friends, they just get along. Eddie just sells Steve weed sometimes and they keep it civil.

He doesn’t hear from Steve for a while, and the next time he sees him it’s from a distance, in passing. The man has the most roughed up face Eddie has ever seen, bruised and swollen in multiple areas, stitches and bandages all over. It’s really, concerning? completely metal, but alarming. This is the second time Eddie has seen the guy all beaten up like that. He knew that boys fight, but surely not that bad? As worried as he was, Eddie doesn’t approach him to ask questions, because they don’t know eachother like that. So he goes on about his day, and he doesn’t see Steve again after that for quite some time.

Then it’s summer, Eddie isn’t graduating again, and he’s not really sure what to do with himself over the break. The new mall has just opened up, and there’s a cool music store up on the second floor that he likes to visit sometimes with his band friends. And wouldn’t you know, working at the Scoops Ahoy located directly across from his favourite store, is Steve Harrington. The guy hasn’t come to Eddie for any weed since last year, and then there was that sighting where he looked like he’d just fallen face first into a flying fist or two, so it’s been a minute since Eddie’s seen him. And he’d be lying if he said it wasn’t a nice surprise. He only goes into scoops once. He’s curious, okay? Sue him. And, he knows the girl who works with him, Robin. So he plays it off like he had no idea he’d see Steve there. And to his surprise, Steve actually acknowledges him. He doesn’t act like Eddie is a total stranger just because they’re not in school anymore. The interaction is quick, they make very casual conversation, Eddie says hi to Robin, grabs his milkshake and goes home. That’s all. He doesn’t go back, and he doesn’t really plan to. Steve’s nice, and he knows Eddie’s around if he needs to buy from him again, and that’s really as far as their relationship goes. That’s all it ever was. It’s been fun getting to know Steve Harrington a little bit better, even if it was just for a short time. Eddie liked having the chance to see in past the quaffed hair and pressed polo shirts to learn that Steve was really just a person under it all. He never thought he’d say it, but Harrington wasn’t so bad. It was a nice little eye opening experience for Eddie.

Eddie was ready to write off his little blips of interaction with Steve Harrington as a thing of the past, no hard feelings, and move on with his life. That is, until he gets a knock at his front door in the middle of the night afew days after the big mall fire. And it’s Steve on the other side. And he looks awful, his face is the worst Eddie’s ever seen it. And he wasn’t really knocking, more like pounding. He says he needs Eddie’s help.

What the fuck?