#bills and the bees

[shadowofthelamp]

Creation

Summary: Bill decides he wants a kid with Ford, and when someone's given themselves to you entirely, you can do a lot with that.

Beatrice creation story! Rated T basically for a cut to black at the end/a brief non-descriptive use of magic making him feel good, but nothing explicit is shown and the kid is created by magic. Set in the 'muse' era shortly before everything spirals.

Warning: Mpreg

Wordcount: 1200

“So, smart guy!” Bill had been grinning. It was in the way the corners of his eyes pinched up, how his pulsing glow on each word was brighter. “You want to help me with something, don’t you?”

“Of course!” Ford floated easily towards him, gravity a mere suggestion that could be brushed aside here in the place where dreams become reality and reality twisted to the wildest fancies of the imagination. "Why wouldn't I? It has to be more interesting than watching the gnomes trying to capture bath squirrels again. The forest is starting to really settle down for winter."

“See, this is why I like you, Fordsie, always asking just the right questions!” Bill lightly tapped a finger on Ford’s nose, and a rush of lava spiraled down his nerves at the touch. “Now, you promised your body to me, and I’ve been using it plenty well- keeping you up and running past those silly human limits so we can get the really important work done, fixing the little stresses here and there, things like that. There’s something I’ve been wanting for eons, but no one else was good enough- not until you.”

“Bill, I-” Even without the limitations of the human body present in the projection, instinctively Ford found himself swallowing at the compliment. “Thank you. I’ll do my best to live up to whatever it is. So! What do you need? Does it have anything to do with the portal?”

“You’re the human vessel to help carry my- our genius to the masses, you already knew that, but I’ve got even bigger plans for this hunk of rock.” Bill snapped his fingers with another ‘smile’ (perhaps sharper than usual, eye a bit more narrowed?) and a deal-flame burned bright blue-

-Before he plunged it directly into Ford’s stomach.

The red-hot pain that ignited every soft organ below the lungs was almost enough to throw Ford back into the waking world, but Bill’s fingers merely curled inside of him as he whistled, rummaging around until a new pain of something swelling, growing, mixed with a wave of pleasure to counter the agony currently cauterizing his organs. Wave after wave of mixed sensations radiated out from the intrusion as a noise even he couldn't define slipped from his lips, and he clawed at the air with moans muffled into the infinity of the Mindscape.

“There we go, figured I might as well toss you a bone for dealing with this! Woo, this is going to be a lot to handle for an oily sweat beast meat-sack like you, but you’re a good human, you’ll manage.”

“Wh- what is?” Ford managed to stutter as Bill pulled his hand out, thick red with sparks of starlight dripping from the sleek black fingers all the way up to the elbow. Nothing existed in his mind but questions, even as the pain sucked into itself like a black hole and disappeared. “What did you do to- what did you put in there?”

“Why, our child, of course!”

There was a moment’s silence as Ford processed that before an actual record scratch sounded somewhere in the Mindscape, which just made Bill slap his knee and cackle.

“Oh, oh that is perfect timing. Your brain is a riot, Sixer, you know that?”

“Our child…?” Ford’s eyes had widened to the point that the lids had nearly receded into the skull, and one hand instinctively dropped to the still-oozing stomach, droplets of flickering silver mixing with deep maroon. “That can’t be-”

“Exactamundo, our child! Offspring, half-clone, spawn, whatever you want to call it!” Bill summoned his cane specifically to spin it and jab the end into Ford’s chest. “I’ve told you my whole tragic backstory-” (Ford’s eyes instinctively darted up to the hat and he felt a pang unrelated to the whole hand-shoving-through-guts thing) “-But I figured it was time to move on fully, starting a family of my own. And you’re the lucky candidate that I’d like to spend the rest of your life with! You’re smart, you’re a freak, you’ve already given me complete control over your body, and I wouldn’t mind a little rugrat running around with your cute little face on the part of the time they don’t look like me!”

“The part of the-” Ford shook his head to himself. That was not the thing to focus on, and his fingers curled around the stomach of his sweater tight enough that the threads unwound in the non-air. “Bill, I don’t have the- the- equipment for this!”

“And I’m a triangle, but do you really think I can’t make a few adjustments on that little problem? You wound me! Seahorses do it, it’s just a design flaw that humans can’t, really!” Bill rested his palm atop Ford’s knuckles. “I just needed to scoop out a little extra space- you don’t need all of those organs, so I just combined a few. They should work just as well!” He waved his free hand. “Besides, you said you wanted to do something for me. I’ve barely asked you for anything, and this is an honor!”

“Bill, I-” Ford’s free hand raised to tangle in his hair as the dream deity pressed up against his middle as if listening for a heartbeat already. “It’s not that I’m not flattered-”

“Then what is it, brainiac?” Bill tilted upward. “We’re already changing the world, and you’ve already pledged your life to me. We can be happy together. What’s one more string sewing us together? I picked you for a reason.”

He floated up, gripping a cheek in each hand as his single eye met both of Ford’s, sticky silver and ruby blood mixing together and oozing down the skin. “I already told you, I can’t imagine anyone else I’d want to do this with, and isn’t this what humans are meant to do, squirt out squirmy little genetic reproductions of themselves? Let’s face it, you’re never going to meet a girl, and this way you’ll change the world with the portal and by carrying the first new member of my species in a trillion years!”

His thumb stroked the skin as he tilted slightly, as if turning his head. “You’re the only one I’d want this with. Don’t you trust me, Fordsy?”

It may have been the leftover heat of the deal-fire from whatever Bill had done before, but Ford found his cheeks burning as his mouth fell open slightly, a puff of breath escaping.

“...Yes.” The truth of the admission came from deep within, even as doubts squirmed like pinned insects. “I- I have given myself body and soul, you know that.”

“Good boy.” Bill’s bloody fingers shifted, one thumb sliding between Ford’s wet lips, and Ford instinctively sucked, getting a pat with the other hand as liquid stardust slipped down his throat, igniting his stomach with a far more pleasurable flame that shot further south. “Now then! This is the fun part!”

Ford was about to ask, but Bill’s other hand had slipped beneath the neckline of his sweater at the same time his form began to crack along the bricks to spill free something ancient and starving, and there very quickly ceased to be any possible questions.

[truth4ourfreedom]

World governments have been ordered to crack down on honey bees as the globalist elites escalate the war on farmers and prepare the groundwork for the devastating global famine that WEF insiders have warned us about.

https://rumble.com/v4xdq9h-wef-orders-govts-to-burn-millions-of-bees-to-usher-in-global-famine.html

[biggestwilliamfinnfan]

do you think bill finn knows about the hundreds of thousands of mentally ill teenagers who think about his silly music 24/7 without end

[proselles]

the real reason fiddleford went insane is cause he knew about billford he saw that and went a FUCKING TRIANGLE?? OVER ME??? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME and i cant even be too mean i wouldve been the same. that wouldve lived rent free in my head. his actions are totally normal with that context. i wouldve wiped my memory to forget about my last embarrassing encounter with someone i said something mildly strange to let alone watching my crush pick an animate triangle alien who's clearly fucking evil over me. gravity falls didnt even need to be that fucking weird. justifiable and rational behavior tbh.

[nenoname]

Journal 3’s references to Stan

(…does the Lost Pages count as J3 when some had to be in J2 and also may or may not be a truth lie turducken? idk. Ford’s TBoB letters sure as hell don’t count as J3 but I’m including them here anyway)

Lost Journal Pages

"STANLEY COULD HAVE MADE HER LAUGH"

“My stomach sank a bit when I realized… it was my birthday. This day has felt… odd, since S and I… parted ways.”

"I was adjusting my TV antennae for weather reports (looking for ideal conditions for F's first portal test) and spat out my coffee when I saw THIS! My brother hawking scams under the name "Panley Stines." I had half a mind to call that number, just to pretend to be the police and maybe scare S straight for once! There is something so galling about seeing your OWN FACE committing crimes on your own TV! When my Muse saw me break my stress ball, I decided it was finally time to vent about Stanley."

""How about that; you've got an inferior clone! Why didn't you just eat him in the womb? Think of how powerful you'd be!"

"You can't just eat your twin, Bill."

You'd be surprised what you can eat! I say sure, call him if you want him to start mooching off you again! ME, I went no contact with my home dimension and I don't regret it. All they did was hold me back and sabotage my talents! Can you imagine?"

"More than you know. But you do ever wonder if maybe... maybe things could have been different?""

"Our heat budget was so tight that Mom forced S and me to wear one sweater at the same time. (She called it the "Abominable Snow-Stan." Our cat lived in fear of it year-round.)"

“DAMN! This morning I found F rummaging through my old copy of Urban Legends of New Jersey, where I had forgotten I had hidden some old personal items! I’ve quickly re-hidden them here, away from prying eyes.”

"But then he crossed a line. Helplessly I watched Cipher in my own body limp up to a pay phone and dial... STANLEY'S phone number from the infomercial?! No. He wouldn't.

"Hey brother, it's Sixer. I'm going to take a swim in the frozen lake tomorrow, and I might not ever come back, so if you don't hear from me, I just want you to know that it's because I never loved you. BUH-BYEEEEE."

My heart was in my throat until I heard the dial tone... The pay phone was out of order. The message hadn't gotten through. Cipher turned back to address me.

"TSK, TSK, TSK. LOOK WHAT YOU MADE ME MAKE YOU DO! TOMORROW'S TAPE IS GONNA BE MUCH WORSE.""

(Bro secret code) "miss you"

“The snow has begun to fall again and there’s very little time. There’s only one left I can turn to to protect my journals while I prepare for the journey…”

"S is an overgrown child with none of my rigorous mental training. Who knows what could happen if Cipher stepped inside Stanley's mind for even one minute...

What if Stanley somehow manages to destroy the portal just like he destroyed my perpetual motion machine? I suppose that machine did work in its own way... It kept me perpetually angry for thirty years."

(Bro secret code) "HAVE I BEEN TOO HARSH ALL ALONG?"

"What if he tries to rope me into his latest get-rich-quick scheme? His latest commercial was for "Stan Sauce: The Miracle Sauce that's too cool for the FDA!"

What if... he mocks me? What if he sees that I abandoned our family to become a recluse on the brink of madness? Could I risk admitting that I was... wrong?

PROS: I have no one else. Well, that settles it. It's time to come face-to-face with a face I haven't seen in 10 years. My own face. Which... is my brother's face. God, I miss sleep."

Ford’s Letters

"In the weeks since Weirdmageddon, I conducted numerous tests on Stanley's mind (his terrible jokes are still intact) and inspected the state for dimensional leakage (we also took turns kicking the statue, and Stanley took a few cracks with a crowbar). I burned every Cipher-shaped item I had ever collected, and even threw away all my one-dollar bills, just to be safe (Stanley, of course, found and pocketed them).

“I emerged from my lab after days of agonized contemplation to find- to my shock- that Mabel was reading the book, out loud, to Stanley, Dipper, Soos, and Wendy!”

“They didn’t see me as an irredeemable screwup. Stanley said, "So, your past is just a giant pile of mistakes? Congratulations- you really are a Pines!”“

"Bill may tell you that happiness requires conquering galaxies and living forever, but I've seen enough of the universe to tell you that he's wrong. I've found my happiness. And it looks like this:"

"If you're reading this... then I am dead. Kidding! Sorry, Stanley thought that would be funny. Ha-ha! We're currently out shopping for harpoons to prepare for our trip to the arctic."

"Stan, if you end breaking into my lab at some point later today- Bravo! Still as good a locksmith as in 8th grade. Beers are under the desk."

(It kinda strikes me that the BoB Lost Journal pages about Stan sound far more like post-portal Ford’s opinions on Stan instead, where he’s openly angry at both being pushed into the portal + at the portal being opened again + his murder suicide attempt being foiled + Stan disowning him + turning his house into a tourist trap + taking his identity vs pre-portal Ford being more… melodramatic(?) constantly being reminded of him but not wanting to linger too long? idk the vibes are different

Plus pre-portal Ford pretty consistently only calls Stan "S” or just refers to him as his brother (with the exception of him writing his name in a Caesar cipher). I think he only ever messes up the general naming scheme a single time when he wrote Fiddleford instead of F

…not to mention the perpetual motion machine comment says thirty instead of ten years)

Other sections: Pre-Portal, Post-Portal, Post-Weirdmageddon

[red-dye40]

sweet domesticated life :)

[theraprism]

An aspect of the Theraprism plot element that I think is really important is that, as readers, I fully believe that we are meant to be uncomfortable with it.

It's fitting for Bill to end up in an environment where he is trapped and unable to exert power over others, and the fact that he describes the Theraprism specifically as "overmedicated" is a full-circle moment IMO. As a child, his bodily autonomy was disrespected through the medical abuse he was subject to, and when he became an adult, he abused others through violation of their own bodily autonomy (see: the entire section of the lost Journal 3 pages concerning the possession battle). Bill isn't unpersoned by the narrative -- the book makes clear that he has feelings, no matter how much he denies them -- but the Theraprism unpersons him. In a literal sense, it *will* unperson him by transforming him into a being that lacks higher consciousness. The Theraprism brands itself as an institution that operates on the principle of restorative justice but is in fact fundamentally punitive.

From the angle that Bill needs to face the consequences of his actions, it's perfect. He might not recognize the suffering of others -- he might not even acknowledge his own suffering -- but he will be forced to feel his own suffering either way.

But from the angle that Gravity Falls is a show about healing from the past and moving toward a future with those who love you, Bill's situation is an utter nightmare for someone like him. You can't argue that he isn't a tragic villain at this point because it is so clear by now that he is trapped by the past, both in terms of the flashbacks he is stated to experience and in the way that the Theraprism is a punishment for his past actions. And the Theraprism, when it comes down to it, is not meant to accomodate someone like Bill.

The Theraprism's goal is not to rehabilitate Bill, but to keep him there alone forever. His recommended treatment is "infinite karmic rehabilitation". That's not atonement, it's a plain and simple sentence to life in prison.

I think that tension is very intentional.

[disneytva]

Walt Disney Imagineering, Disney Yellow Two Shoes & Disney Television Animation wish you a happy new year and happy #DisneyTVA40.

This new New Year's card features all the WDW Passholder Magnets 2022-2023 redesings from Asia Ellington (“The Wonderful World Of Mickey Mouse” franchise, “Primos”) and Paul Rudish. (“The Wonderful World Of Mickey Mouse” franchise)

The piece features a hint of Walt Disney World Passholder Magnet redesings from José, Michael, Pierre and Fritz from The Enchanted Tiki Room

[powdermelonkeg]

So I got myself the Book of Bill as a special just-for-me treat for my birthday the other day. Exclusive Barnes and Noble edition and all.

Pulled off the dust jacket to see what the real deal looked like (I have a personal nitpick when there are barcodes and brand names and stuff you can't remove, breaks my immersion, not important for this story).

It's upside down.

The cover is on upside down.

I thought it was intentional. Because it would be JUST LIKE BILL to mess with the reader by telling them mid-book that everyone thinks they're reading upside down and, ergo, can't read.

Nope.

Genuine printing error.

This is hilarious.

[music-tourney]

[shadowofthelamp]

Crop top and belly is the best combo ever, actually.

[eventhetiniestbugs]

Christopher Robin Miller is awesome he can voice Hershel Layton, Don Paolo, Inspector Chelmey, Beluga, Alphonse Dalston and Bill Hawks all in the same room. They could kill him, too.

[dulcemapis]

learning to draw the original mystery twins. chat is this an acceptable offering

[fishymom-art]

I’m 30 people away from 5K followers (THAMK YOU BTW!!!) and I kinda want to do a DIYS (draw in your style)! If there will be enough participants, I might choose winners and draw something for them!

(Btw drawing multiple is not a problem for me at all, don’t hesitate choosing my GF AUs just coz it seems like a lot, coz it really isn’t)

[red-dye40]

new yorks hottest club is demonic possession

[gigglegirlhappy]

Team Chaotix consists entirely of cold blooded reptiles and insects.

It stands to reason that they’d own a heated rock.

I need you to imagine Espio and Charmy laying on Vector’s tummy while he Dad Naps on a heat rock.

Vector’s sprawled out on his back like he was shot in the chest. He’s snoring loud enough to get several noise complaints.

Espio’s neatly curled up on one side of Vector’s tummy. He’s clinging to Vector’s arm while he sleeps.

Charmy’s lying flat on his tummy, taking up the majority of Vector’s available tummy space. He’s one wrong move away from falling off entirely.

I need you to picture this. I need you to rotate this mental image in your brain for hours on end please.