#between this and all the ongoing health issues

[archmage--khadgar]

(( In the process of moving from west coast back to Northeast. (I'm not happy about it. Don't celebrate it.) Already spent a few hundred on shipping boxes back and I'm nowhere near done. But the cheapest, reliable movers are giving a quote of roughly 4k.

Mom thinks this is unreasonable, and said, and I quote: "Your stuff isn't worth 4k. 9_9. You only have what? A folding desk you got at goodwill?" (Also keep in mind I never said SHE had to foot that entire bill).

Keep in mind, she's been here several times. She was here June of last year. She's insisting I don't have anything more aside from the chair in which I sleep in, and a computer desk. I've been over here 7 years now, my apartment is fully furnished. She keeps gaslighting and insists there's nothing here. That I only own a few shirts, that I don't have bedding, no dishware etc. You see, when something is MINE it doesn't exist or has no value. Unless it was something she gifted or finds a use for. She also got angry when I reminded her of the L.A ordinance where appliances are not the responsibility of the Landlord, broken or no. She aggressively told me I was wrong, started making up some shit about fees -- I never said there would be a fee I said the broken fridge isn't the landlord's responsibility. She doubled down on being an asshole. There was other shit she spewed from her mouth that I don't have the spoons to repeat.

So I hung up.

Does this risk her throwing out the things I've already sent back or had to leave there in the first place? Yup.

Does this risk a roof over my head as she has the power too call up the landlord and say I'm going to be out and gone in a few days, forcing me to shelter my cat and either go back with nothing, (a lot of this is irreplaceable or I need it for work) or find a park bench to sleep on for the rest of my days? Ayeah.

Do I care? Honestly not anymore. I'm tired. I'm beyond burnt out. It's the dead time of year so I'm getting a singular shift each week. No one else with hire me, commissions have all but dried up and because of all the social media fuckery, all my calls for help. Donations, discounted comms, sticker sales are just. Going nowhere. I have no other family, or support system outside of getting the occasional digital hug or back pat. Whatever curse I got goin' on here is about to win.))

[reidsmanuscript]

Cracks in the System

Summary: What happens when a string of murders tied to the District Attorney's office lands on the BAU's desk, a high Spencer Reid struggles through withdrawal, and reader, the genius A.D.A., stumbles upon Reid's darkest secret? Tensions rise as professional and personal boundaries blur, leading to revelations that could shatter them both. Pairing: Spencer reid x lawyer!reader Genre: HEAVY ANGST, a little bit of comfort, open-bittersweet-ending Tw: spencer's addiction arc, no y/n but reader has a lastname and a nickname bc it would be impossible otherwise, mental health issues, mention of food and skipping meals?, imppliead reader's past with drugs and abuse (not graphic tho), canon typical cm violence, reader dislikes gideon as father figure wc: 9.2k! A/N: i always HATED how reid´s addiction got portrayed so here´s my take on it, english is not my first language part I - part II - part III - ...

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In the chill of autumn morning, while the BAU reunited for the debriefing of a case where their help had been specially requested per the District Attorney, old college friend of Hotch, a string of murder had been recently connected due to the victim’s correlation to the office.

Morgan, Prentiss, Gideon, and Hotch sat in their usual spots, reviewing the files as JJ prepared to brief them. Spencer Reid entered late for the second time that week, a distant look in his eyes, his demeanor unusually absent. No one acknowledged his lateness.

JJ took it as her cue to begin. “A string of murders have been committed around the capitol's perimeter, 3 women all killed and found at the surroundings of their home, Sarah Jennings, 23, defense attorney. Found in a downtown alley.." She clicked to the next slide, revealing another victim. "Second, Nicole Hart, 25, paralegal. And finally, Emily Russell, 30, judge. Found just outside her apartment. All victims were killed within a three-month span. Each one of them were found with a different note”

"Your silence speaks for itself."

"Mitigating circumstances should not overshadow the gravity of the crime."

"Your behavior demonstrates a pattern of reckless disregard for justice."

“M.O.?” asks Prentiss. “Strangulation and multiple stabs to the chest were revealed by the reports” answers JJ.

Morgan adds “So overkill and legal connection, did they knew each other?”

“Families have denied any possibility of any of them being friends with each other” JJ answers.

Reid, who has been anxiously tapping his fingers in the arms of his chair, huffs in frustration, ignoring how annoying his subtle tremor is “So outside a simple note no connection.”

Gideos shoots him a glare but before he can say anything Garcia appears through the tv screen “My dear fuzzy friends, i have found something," She adjusts her glasses and clicks away at her keyboard. "All four victims have recent ties to cases handled by the District Attorney's office, big ones, too. Corruption charges, high-profile lawsuits, political scandals. It's a feast of legal drama."

Morgan leans forward, his interest piqued. "Anything specific about their involvement?"

"Funny you should ask," Garcia says with a wry grin. “Jennings provided testimonies in ongoing cases. Hart did legal research for one of those cases, and Russell? Well, she worked directly with the DA's office on prepping trial strategies. But here's the kicker—none of them worked together. Different cases, different departments. And all of them seemed to be very successful on their own"

Prentiss raises an eyebrow. "So 3 successful women with overkill, that sounds like envy to me"

Reid, his voice laced with a nervous edge, blurts out “Envy could be a factor, but it's also the level of violence. Overkill is usually a sign of a deep personal rage. It's like the unsub is targeting not just their professional lives, but something deeper, maybe the idea of success they represent.”

Gideon glances at the screen. "Any connections between the cases themselves?"

Garcia shakes her head. "Nothing that stands out yet, but I’m digging deeper. Let me keep working on it. I'll be needing access to the information the D.A. office has”

Gideon folds his arms over the table. “If they're found around their personal home it could mean the unsub is following them or getting the information from somewhere else. Someone inside the DA’s office could be leaking it."

Morgan shakes his head. "How do we narrow it down? A place like that probably has dozens of people handling sensitive information."

Hotch rises from his chair. "We need a list of who has access to it and interrogate them, but first, we should brief the DA. If someone in their office is compromised, they need to be aware of the risks."

JJ nods. "The District Attorney requested our help specifically. She mentioned an ADA, Woodvale, her right hand, who might be able to help us get a clearer picture of the internal dynamics in their office.” A photo of you in professional attire, looking sharp with an almost predatory confidence appears on the tv screen while JJ explains how you have been working with all the victims for different cases.

Morgan smirks. "Sounds like she’s got her hands full with this mess."

Reid rolls his eyes, muttering under his breath, "Perfect. Another overachiever."

The team exchanges uneasy glances but says nothing. Hotch sends Morgan and Reid to the D.A. office while Prenttis, Gideon and him go to the victims' workplace. As the team disperses, Reid lingers behind, rubbing his temples in frustration. Gideon notices but says nothing.

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At your office, returning from Judge Gibson’s chambers after pushing for a warrant, your assistant, Molly, looks up from her desk.

"Austin’s waiting in your office," she says, a small smile tugging at her lips.

You thank her and add, “Call the detectives and let them know the warrant is secured.”

As you step into your office, Austin is lounging in the chair across from your desk, a familiar paper bag dangling from his hand.

“Your mom sent you this,” he announces, lifting the bag as if it’s a prized trophy.

You let out a sigh, already knowing what’s inside and taking off the clip that holds your hair in a half pony off, relaxing a bit. “Can you stop going to my parents’ house without me? It’s kind of weird.”

“It’s not weird. She always gives me sweets and pastries. You should see the look on her face when I take them.”

“Well, I’m glad someone enjoys them” you mutter, dropping your leather bag in your chair, taking the bag and peeking inside, finding a full banana loaf and a neatly packed sandwich that your mom always sends every couple weeks to ensure you eat enough and take time to rest.

You grab the loaf and glance back at the door. “Molly, I’m taking fifteen for lunch” you call. As you step toward her desk, handing over to her the dessert, you notice two men standing in front of it.

Neither of them looks familiar, no badges in sight, so they're not cops or detectives. One of them’s dressed too casually to be a lawyer, and the tall one has a leather messenger bag just like yours. He seemed distracted, his sharp features catching the light as he frowned slightly, visibly uncomfortable with the brightness in the room.

Molly glances at you, then back at the men. “They asked to see you, Ms. Woodvale.”

You study them for a moment, your fingers still wrapped around the paper bag from Austin. The tall one stood out, his tousled hair, a quiet intensity in his eyes. You quickly push the thought aside. “And you are?”

The broad one steps forward, offering a warm but professional smile. “Agent Morgan. This is Dr. Spencer Reid. We’re with the FBI.”

Your eyes narrow slightly, not out of distrust but because an unannounced visit from the FBI rarely means good news. “FBI? What’s going on?”

Morgan’s gaze shifts between you and Austin who is now standing behind you with his arms crossed, casually leaning against the doorframe. “Can we speak in private?” he asks, his tone calm but firm.

You frown but nod slightly, feeling the sensitivity of the conversation, opening the door widely for them to enter, looking at Austin apologetically, and you see him frowned as well but gets the hint.

Austin pushes off the doorframe, clearly reluctant to leave. “I’ll be outside if you need me, Woody.” you would’ve preferred he did not use the dumb nickname he gave you in front of the feds, but at least it softened the tension in the air. It was a subtle reminder that you had allies.

Once inside, you clip your hair back and slip into professional mode as they take in your office, your diplomas, the little wooden chess board your father gifted you when you were 15, your little trinkets arranged through the shelfs. You set the paper bag down on your desk, smooth your blue suit, crossing your arms as Morgan steps forward, his tone polite but serious. “We’re here about the leak in your office. The D.A. suggested you might have information that could help us.”

Your expression hardens, a mix of frustration and worry bubbling beneath the surface. You’d been working to deal with the fallout, but if the FBI was here now, it meant the situation had escalated far beyond your control. “I’m already working with the detectives assigned to the case,” you say, keeping your tone even. “Why is the FBI suddenly involved?”

“Because people are dying,” answers Reid sharply and a bit too harshly, with a too obvious expression.

Morgan glares at him briefly, before stepping in to clarify. “We believe the leak in your office is connected to a string of murders. The unsub is targeting individuals tied to the office, we believe is a male driven by envy towards powerful and successful women and possibly has someone from here leaking personal information. Does that ring any bells?”

Your brow furrows as you digest the information. “Envy over women?” You let out a short, disbelieving laugh. “That doesn’t help or narrow anything down in a place like this. And ff there’s someone leaking information in this office, I would’ve—”

“Maybe you’re too close to it to see the cracks,” Reid interrupts, frustration clear in his voice. His gaze is sharp, challenging, and for a brief moment, you feel like you’re being dissected under a microscope.

“Excuse me?” The words come out clipped, your irritation flaring at his insinuation.

Morgan steps in, shooting Reid a pointed look that speaks volumes. “What Dr. Reid is trying to say,” he begins, his tone patient, “Is that we’re not ruling anything out yet. We’re here to figure out how the information is getting out, not to place blame.”

Your eyes linger on Reid for a moment. His posture is rigid, his hands curling around the straps of his bag, fingers flexing into fists before relaxing again. There’s something raw about him, an edge that feels out of place but oddly familiar. You can’t decide if it’s irritation, exhaustion, or something else entirely.

“And what exactly makes you think the information is still coming from here?”

Morgan reaches into his jacket, pulling out a thin file. He places it on your desk and flips it open, revealing photos of victims and case files. “These are the people we’ve identified so far. All of them were connected to cases your office has handled in the past 3 months. The timeline suggests the leak is ongoing.”

You skim the photos, the pit in your stomach growing heavier with each passing second. “And you’re sure this isn’t coincidental?”

Reid answers again, his voice tight. “Murders tied to your office’s cases? That’s not a coincidence. It’s a pattern.”

“Reid,” Morgan says firmly, his voice a quiet warning.

Reid exhales sharply, scratching his neck he mutters, “Sorry. I mean... it’s statistically significant.”

You straighten up, your gaze flicking between the two agents. “What do you need from me?”

Morgan’s grin softens the tension in the room. “Your insight, the D.A. said she trusted you to be our inside guide. We think you can help us fill in some blanks.”

You go through the file and nod “Fine. But if we’re doing this, I want access to everything you have so far. I don’t work blind.”

“Fair enough, we will also need a list of the people who have access to sensible information for our tech analyst, and if you can come to our office it would be useful” Morgan says.

“I'll have my assistant send it, let me just get some stuff” they nod and step out of your office, you grab your coat, satchel leather bag swinging it over one shoulder and eyed the untouched lunch.

“She’s going to be pissed if you give that to anyone else,” Austin says from the doorframe. You roll your eyes and bite the sandwich, your mother is an incredible woman and baker, but in your opinion she always excels herself when it comes to savory. “What was that about?” He asks.

“Apparently we have a mole in the office that's connected to murder by someone who’s envious of women” you answer halfway through that sandwich.

Austin’s expression sharpens as he steps closer. “Need me to look into it?” he offers, he’s an experienced private investigator who’s helped you through more cases than you can count. His connections, street smarts, and knack for digging up information have been invaluable to you, especially when things get too tangled for the usual channels. You could call him your best friend; though sometimes you threaten to kill him for knowing way too much about you.

You nod, finishing the sandwich, crumpling the paper bag and walking to the door “I'll text you if I need your help” you leave the office, going through the hallways to find the agents who lead you to their SUV on the way to Quantico.

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At headquarters, you stand in a room in front of the plastic board, all the victims, your ex-colleagues, none of them were truly friends, just girls you have worked with and you have lamented their deaths when you find out. You never thought their deaths could be related, less so to your office. You never thought their deaths would affect you so… personally.

You had already been introduced to the team, they all seemed professional and grounded, though you already knew Agent Hotchner from when he was a prosecutor, you shaked hands with Prentiss, Gideon, and JJ, letting your coat and bag in one of the chair’s arm in the conference room after being hand out the files.

The team gathers around the plastic board, Reid standing slightly to the side, tapping a pen against his palm with restless energy. He was looking at you and the way your eyes moved through the board, like you were physically trying to connect the dots, the way you were flicking your nails unconsciously, it was driving him crazy.

They had given the full profile of the unsub. Male from 30 to 35, probably has a job in the criminal justice world but his work goes unnoticed which lead to him being envious of women and blaming them when it comes to injustice, therefore the accusing notes.

You could think in a couple names from that description, but none of them were capable of murder, let alone how violent the crime scene pictures showed. From the list of people with recent access you had gave out, you secretly wished they were wrong about a mole. Although something sat wrong for you when you looked at the notes, why would someone-

A bright sound cuts through the room and your thoughts, Garcia’s voice, announcing through the screen, “Okay, folks, I’ve cross-checked the office access records with everything we have so far, and guess what? We have a match.” She sounded confident “Someone on the inside had access to all of the victims’ files. And it’s not just anyone. We have a name, and a face.” she announced showing a picture of a Paralegal friend of you, no. “Ana Lopez” Garcia continues, the name sounding almost foreign as it leaves her lips. “She’s been in and out of the office with access to every victim’s file, and I’ve cross-referenced her movements—she’s had a direct connection to every single one of them. And what's more... she had an unusual interest in the victim's case files long before things escalated.”

“it´s not Ana” the words leave your tongue before you can stop them.

Prentiss looks at you with a concerned expression “is she your friend? look i know it can be hard to digest that she-”

“She's very advocate to the victims,” you interrupt, with a voice tight, as you shakes your head. “Ana's been one of the most outspoken advocates for justice in the office. She’s passionate about these cases, about the women who get overlooked. She doesn’t fit the profile. This isn’t her."

“People can do out-of-character things when they’re pushed to their limit” Gideon interjects calmly, cutting through your spiraling thoughts and rambling. His voice is soft, but there’s an undeniable weight to it. “We’ve all seen it. The pressure can change people. It’s not always what it seems.”

Hotch nods, already stepping into action. “We’ll have to bring Ana in for questioning. Morgan, JJ, go to her house, Garcia will send you the address.”

Morgan gives a nod, and JJ’s gaze flickers to you, but she doesn’t say anything, respecting the heavy tension that hangs in the air.

You stand still, a knot of frustration tightening in the chest. You couldn’t shake the feeling of wrongness in all of this. Partially because Ana was a steady paralegal who wouldn´t hand out sensitive information, and partially because you felt there was something else buried deeper, and you needed answers.

“Look… let me dig further into this,” you reach for your phone, desperately avoiding the feeling of becoming someone who clings to conspiracy theories. “How are you planning on doing that?” Hotch’s voice is firm, questioning, but not dismissive.

“You have your sources, and I have mine,” your tone sharp as you speed dials a number. The phone rings once, twice, before it clicks. “Austin,” you step into the bullpen to take the call. “They think the mole is Ana”

“Lopez? That can be it. One time, I saw her take down a guy who was trying to cut corners on a case. She was too righteous about it, if you ask me.”

You exhale sharply, a mix of frustration and confusion clawing, making the room too warm for your liking, leading you to take your navy blazer off and settle it over a desk chair. “I don’t know, Austin. My gut tells me there's something more. I need answers.”

“You think someone’s using her name? Hacking her or setting her up?” Austin asks, picking up on her suspicions.

“Exactly,” you answer quickly. “I don’t know how they’re doing it, but I need you to dig into everything—anything that could explain this. There has to be something we’re missing. Get me answers, Austin.”

“Understood, Captain,” he replies, his voice laced with a touch of humor despite the seriousness of the situation. “I’ll get to work on this and call you with anything I find.” he hangs up.

You save your phone, square your shoulders and take a deep breath, noticing Prentiss walking towards you, concern in her eyes. She stops just a few feet away and speaks gently, “Hey… I know this is a lot, and I know it’s close to home for you. Do you want some coffee? It might help clear your head for a moment.”

You glance at her, tired but appreciative of the offer. A small sigh escapes your lips as you nod. “Yeah, I think that’s a good idea.”

She leads you to the break room, a quiet part of the office where the noise of the investigation feels a little further away. The sound of the coffee machine brews in the background as she pours two cups, and you deny when she asks for how much sugar. She hands one before sitting down across from you at the table.

You take the mug in your hands, feeling the warmth seep through, the bitter and burn taste grounding your thoughts. “I get that you’re all just doing your jobs, Prentiss. I understand that. It’s just... as an attorney, you learn to read people. And sometimes, you have to trust your gut. Right now, my gut is telling me I missed something, not about Ana but about all of this.”

Prentiss nods like she understands what you are saying, letting the silence settle between you for a moment “You know you seem young to be A.D.A.” she jokes lightly.

Raising up your cup “That’s what the defense always says before losing” you say back, thanking internally for the attempt to ease up “I'm 22… I graduated from law school at 20 and immediately got an internship… so since then i’ve been working up my position”

Prentiss chuckles softly, leaning back in her chair. “Don't tell me you are a genius too… I can see why though. You’ve got a sharp edge to you—good for the courtroom, probably not so great for poker.”

You chuckle, a small smirk tugging at your lips. “Well, let’s just say I prefer chess.” Sensing where the conversation might go, you subtly steer it away, curious about what she meant by too but before you can say more, Austin’s ringtone erupts, cutting through the quiet hum of the break room. You quickly pull your phone out and answer. “Got you answers” he says.

That was enough for you to put him on speaker mode and head back to the room with the rest of the team.

“Turns out Ana had an intern who’s been frequenting closed files, Daniel Reeves” he states, and when you don´t recognize the name it weirds you out. “I don’t recall that name”.

“That’s because he was at the office while you and I were on vacation in L.A. in February,” Austin explains. You’re too focused on connecting the dots to notice Gideon’s raised eyebrows or Spencer’s subtle eye roll.

“Anyway,” Austin continues, “This kid’s good with computers and had access to her credentials. Nobody paid too much attention to him, but an officer told me he’s been prowling around the file room for the last couple of months. I can’t guarantee he’s your guy, but it’s definitely worth looking into.”

“Daniel Reeves…” Garcia says through the desk phone speaker. “Graduated top of his class in computer science, specialized in cybersecurity, and interned with several law firms before Ana’s office. If anyone could hack a system and cover their tracks, it’s him.”

“Looks like he had access to the same systems Ana uses,” Garcia adds “And—oh, this is interesting—there’s a flagged incident from his previous internship. Something about unauthorized access to confidential records, but no charges were filed.”

Hotch steps forward, his posture commanding as always. “Garcia, send the new address to Morgan and JJ. I’ll let them know we found the mole”

“On it, Hotch. They’ll be there in no time.” She answers.

You take a deep breath, rubbing your forehead and letting settle the satisfaction that you are being useful to stop this madness. You glance at the phone, and press the speakerphone off. “Thanks for your help, Austin.”

The voice on the other end crackles with a slight delay, but Austin’s tone is unmistakable “Glad I could help Woody, take care”. You smile faintly at the nickname. “You too,” you say before hanging up and saving your phone in your bag, returning your attention to the team.

Reid, still fidgeting with the files in front of him, looks up briefly, his gaze lingering just a little too long. The flicker of his interest escapes you, your thoughts focused on the notes but you don't acknowledge it, choosing instead to focus on the case.

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There was something oddly familiar about the notes; and, of course, you were the only one noticing it. Since Austin’s discovery, they had brought in Daniel Reeves, who confessed to being blackmailed, claiming he had no idea who was behind any of this, so it was almost a dead end. You flicked your nails unconsciously, if you had a pen you would swirl it and if you weren’t so anxious you would be seated with your leg bouncing.

"Your silence speaks for itself."

"Integrity means different things to different people. Some get to define it for themselves."

"Your behavior demonstrates a pattern of reckless disregard for justice."

"Your behavior demonstrates a pattern of reckless disregard for justice." That one had stuck up with you. Reckless disregard. Reckless disregard. Reckless disregard. The way it rolled through your tongue gave you the clue of something else. You knew you had used those words before, if you could only place where; thousands of citations, warrants? Your eyes would move from point to point like you were physically searching, your nails would flick faster and faster. Where?

“God, could you stop doing that!?” Reid snaps, his gaze sharp with annoyance, and you look at him with the eyes of a deer caught in headlights.

You have learned over the years to not take stuff thrown at you personally, whether it is an out loud objection, a dirty trick in court with a judge, an inmate yelling at you for getting a sentence, an annoyed face in the search of a judge to sign a warrant, you do-not-take-it-personally.

But the look on Reid’s face made you feel like a 15-year-old misfit again, the girl who would cry, jump, and be on the verge of a panic attack if anyone accidentally touched her or if something too sweet triggered memories of hands creeping up, a teenager surrounded by college students who believed she was a narcissist egomaniac violent freak, a look you were afraid to find in your parents eyes when the therapist had told them about your anger issues and impulsiveness after you had destroyed the lamp in your bedroom, a look of plain annoyance not for what you had done but for who you are and what you represent, a mere obstacle, you were awkward and overwhelmed by everything. For a moment, the confident prosecutor, the woman in charge, vanished.

And you knew everybody in the room had noticed it, even after you had recovered from that second, you noticed it in the look on Derek's face, the way he looked at you apologetically, “Reid.” Gideon said, like a father scold his kid.

“It's okay I'll.. i need a coffee” you excuse yourself out of the room as fast and collected as you can, looking for some air.

In the room Reid senses his outburst has landed harder than he would’ve imagined. “Reid, go back to the scene. Start digging through the evidence again. There might be something we missed.” Hotch’s voice cuts through the air, and he opens his mouth to protest “Now.” Hotch remarks, which stops him from going further.

It was just so fucking annoying, the way she flicked her nails nonstop. Why did nobody see it?. So on his way out he grabs the leather bag that’s in one of the chairs of the room and finds it so irritating when Gideon follows him to notice there’s another satchel, in his desk chair covered with a blue blazer, his satchel.

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You had poured yourself another cup of extra bitter coffee, why did it affect you so much? god it was pathetic, you had faced worse than some guy calling you annoying. Maybe because you haven't seen it coming, maybe because it was so… reckless.

Reckless disregard. Reckless disregard.

Now where the fuck did you know that from? While being focused you sensed someone coming and discovered it was Morgan’s footsteps echoing through the bullpen, drawing your attention back to the present.

“Hey,” he said softly, his voice low as he stepped into your line of sight. “How you holding up?”

You took a deep breath, trying to center yourself. “I’m fine, just… thinking. I guess.” you tried to brush off, your mind was already elsewhere.

“Look, Reid is going th—”

“I’ve had it worse, really. I mean, law school is not for the weak,” you interrupted, joking, before he could start feeling pity for you.

He huffs with humor and decides to drop the apology on Reid’s behalf. Instead, he leans casually against the wall, arms crossed, his eyes watching you carefully “Occupational hazard I suppose... you know sometimes I wonder what happens after we catch the Unsubs”

“Well the fight doesn't end there, it does bring peace to the victims but believe me.. the legal battle sometimes is worse than the haunt.” you stare at the wall as you recall some of the people you have helped over the years.

“What do you mean?” Morgan's brows furrowed as he leaned closer, genuinely intrigued.

“Well…” you began, taking a deep breath, “The system is messy. It’s not like TV where the bad guy just goes to jail, and everyone walks away happy. Families have to relive their trauma during trials. There are plea deals, technicalities, appeals... It drags on. And sometimes,” you pause, gripping your cup a little tighter, “Justice doesn’t feel like justice at all.”

Morgan tilted his head, his voice softer now. “You’ve seen that happen, haven’t you?”

You exhale sharply, giving him a sidelong glance. “More times than I’d like to admit. You work so hard to get the right outcome, and then… loopholes, errors, or even just bad luck. It’s like pouring water into a cracked glass. It never fills up.”

He nodded, his expression thoughtful. “And the people who go through that… they don’t always come out the other side, do they?”

“No, they don’t.” You look down into your coffee, your mind turning over the notes again. “Sometimes they snap under the weight of it all, the pain, the guilt, the blame, the...”

Blame

Your head snaps at him as you realize. “Blame.” That was it.

He furrowed his eyebrows not catching your thoughts “What?”

The cup clatters onto the counter, the sound sharp in the quiet hallway, but you’re already moving, your steps brisk as you head toward the conference room. Morgan calls after you, his voice a mix of confusion and concern. “Hey, hold up! What’s going on?”

You don’t answer immediately, your mind racing as you burst into the room. The others look up, startled by your sudden entrance. Without a word, you grab the bag containing the notes from the board, your hands moving with purpose as you spread them out in front of you.

“Blame,” you say, your voice firm, almost breathless. “These notes and murders—they’re not coming from someone who’s envious, but from someone who’s blaming the system. Not because it didn’t recognize them, but because it failed them!” The words tumble out faster than you can organize them, your thoughts racing ahead of your mouth. You’re not even fully conscious of what you’re saying, already dissecting the next connection in your mind.

JJ steps closer, his brows furrowed in curiosity. “Failed them how?”

“They’re not jealous of the people they’re targeting,” you continue, pointing to the scattered notes as your mind sharpens. “They’re angry. Angry at the system for not delivering justice, for letting them down when they needed it the most.” You reach for one of the notes, holding it up as you ramble. “Look at the phrasing they’re accusatory they’re challenging the idea of accountability, of consequences it’s not about wanting what these people have it’s about punishing them for what the unsub sees as complicity in their pain.”

In your state of mind you barely recall the sound of Hotch’s phone and him stepping out of the room, too focused on looking at Morgan, Prentiss and JJ.

“The profile is wrong” Prentiss says, nodding slowly as she starts piecing it together herself. Her eyes flick to the board covered with crime scene photos and victims’ profiles. “That’s why he’s targeting people from both sides, defense and prosecution. It’s not about personal grudges against individuals; it’s about what they represent.”

“Exactly,” you reply, your voice firm. “He sees them as symbols of a broken system. Defense attorneys, paralegals, judges—they’re all complicit in his eyes. They’re the ones who allowed the system to fail him.”

Prentiss gestures to the timeline on the board. “But what was the trigger? What pushed him from feeling betrayed to committing these murders?”

You take a deep breath, your eyes scanning the notes again. “It’s got to be personal—a case he was directly connected to. Something happened that made him feel like the system didn’t just fail, but actively betrayed him. He have go to the records”

Morgan pushes off the table, already reaching for the phone. “Hey, Babygirl, we need you to go through court files and find something that stands out, any cases around three months ago when the murders started.”

“Okay, do you have anything more specific to know what I’m looking for?” Garcia’s voice crackles through the speaker, the familiar clacking of her keyboard filling the room as she prepares to search.

“We need to focus on high-profile cases that could have shaken the system. Look for any parole hearings, controversial verdicts, or any case that resulted in a big upset—something that would’ve made the Unsub feel like the system betrayed him,” He explains, already pacing with his phone pressed to his ear.

"Got it," Garcia responds, her fingers already flying across the keyboard. "I'll start pulling up all cases with defense or prosecution lawyers involved. High stakes stuff."

But before all of you could start digging and theorizing, Hotch’s voice cuts through the air, leaving you all frozen. “They’ve found another body with another note.”

The tension in the room thickens. Your breath takes off and without missing a beat, you all gather your things, it takes you a minute to find your blazer but in the heat of the moment you didn’t question why and how had your bag gotten under it, instincts kicking into gear as you rush to the scene.

“JJ you are with me, Gideon and Reid are already going to the scene” they all nod at the commanding voice of Hotch and you rush to get in the back seat of the black SUV with Morgan and Prentiss.

　　　　 　　　 .˳˳.⋅ॱ˙ ˙ॱ⋅.˳˳.⋅ॱ˙ ˙ॱᐧ.˳˳.⋅.　　　　　　

In the car you take a moment to breathe and collect your thoughts to be able to think of anyone who can feel betrayed enough to commit murder. The problem is that anyone can feel betrayed enough to have an outburst. Hell, you were no one to talk about outburst if more than a couple times you had imagined yourself throwing something to inmates or smashing their heads against the table when all the evidence pointed at them being guilty and insisted on dragging the trials off.

“Can I ask why L.A. in the winter?” Prentiss' voice from the passenger seat brings you back to the car.

“What?”

“I mean it wouldn’t be my first choice for a romantic getaway” she thinks out loud.

“Ohh.. wait, romantic? Austin is not my boyfriend.. I just don’t like travelling alone” you are quick to correct her. You weren't lying, the statistics show how dangerous it is for women to travel alone and it gave your parents some peace to think someone will be there to keep you company that they trusted, plus he’s a good travel buddy because he knows when to bother and when to not do it.

Prentiss nods, as if taking mental notes, probably profiling you. “I just thought L.A. in the winter was more of a vacation spot, you know? Beaches, sunshine... not really the first place you’d think of for a quiet getaway.”

“They hold the biggest Doctor Who convention there during that time of the year ” you mumble, noticing how both Morgan and Prentiss look at each other as if sharing a thought and before you can ask, the blue and red lights hit you, announcing the arrival to the apartment complex, the crime scene.

You all step out of the car, the place is full of officers and you rush to where Gideon and Hotch are standing, note in hand. You notice how Reid has some urgency to tell you something but when JJ hands you the bag that secures evidence with the note.

"No one is above the law. Except for the guilty who’ve been given second chances."

Glancing at the note, your mind races, piecing together fragments of information, second chances. “Parole,” you murmur “The unsub is a victim, and their victimizer got out on parole!” Your eyes dart from point to point, connecting the dots. “That’s what he means by second chances.”

Hotch nods sharply “Garcia is already going through parole records.”

Just as the words settle, a new idea strikes you like lightning, and you barely take a breath before blurting, “I think I know something about the notes!” The sudden burst of realization sends you sprinting to the car, leaving the team, and a startled Spencer Reid, in your wake.

“Wait-” Spencer starts, his voice tight and laced with something unspoken, but you’re already too far gone to hear the rest, leaving him with panic in his eyes and an open mouth as he was about to say something.

Fumbling through your bag, your hands shake with the adrenaline coursing through you. “Your silence speaks for itself. Integrity means different things to different people. Some get to define it for themselves. Reckless disregard for justice. Second chances...” You mutter fragments aloud, recognizing the phrases. They weren’t random. You’ve read these words before, somewhere specific. A draft of a closing statement? A court transcript? Your fingers move frantically, searching for your phone, your notes, something. Why did you brought your copy of Crime and Punishment? and why did it look a little bit newer than yours? Where's your phone? Where are your files?. Not every criminal can get out on parole—they need good behavior, a stable support system… Maybe you put it in the front pocket.

Your hand grazes something cold and smooth. Glass. Then something sharp, metal. You freeze, pulling the objects into view. Two small bottles of Dilaudid and a needle. Your throat tightens, and you feel the air around you thin and the familiar warm that comes with anger starts to settle down your back.

You glance up, almost instinctively, and your furious eyes land on him. Spencer’s standing a few feet away, his expression is a contorted pale mask of fear, guilt, and helplessness, his eyes wide and pleading as they lock onto yours, making you look away at the full disclosure of a crime scene.

The chaos of the crime scene rushes back to you. The flash of blue and red lights dancing across every surface, the sharp crackle of radio chatter blending with raised voices, the metallic tang of blood still fresh in the air. Officers move purposefully, their dark uniforms a blur of activity as evidence is collected and barriers are secured.

There are 3 things going on in your brain right now.

This is not your bag, it's Spencer’s.

Spencer is an addict.

You are in the middle of a crime scene, surrounded by cops with a full stash of illegal drugs.

You have to think, think fast and now. The unsub, the drugs, the notes, his sharpness, the victims.

You see Morgan stepping out of the building, his sharp gaze scanning the scene. Panic rushes through you like ice water. You shove the Dilaudid and needle back into the bag, your hands trembling as you close it. Your mind races, desperate to piece together what to do next. “Morgan I need you to drive me to my office”

“What? Why?” he looks at you like you are out of your mind.

“I need a file I thought I had it with me but I don't and it would be faster I don't think the words of the notes are random I think I have seen them before in some legal file that could lead us to the Unsub” the words rush, you are rambling desperate to get out that place, clutching the strap of the bag to your chest.

Morgan’s sharp gaze lingers on you as he signals the car. “Get in,” he says before telling Prentiss and Hotch about it and getting in the car.

You slide into the passenger seat, gripping the bag so tightly your knuckles ache. Morgan settles into the driver’s seat and starts the engine, the rumble of the car barely masking the tension between you. As you approach your office building, you mentally rehearse your next steps. Get upstairs, dispose of the drugs, and look for the file. Your mind spins with the weight of the discovery, but you shove it aside as Morgan pulls up to the curb.

You get out of the car and enter the building. It’s past 10 pm so no one is around, except you two, as you get closer to your office you hear a noise somewhere that makes Morgan instincts spark up. “It's probably the janitor” you brush off.

“I’ll take a look” you nod and ask for his phone to call Garcia if needed, he gives it to you as he takes off his gun and you thank whatever mess that cleaning man was making, giving you the opportunity to execute your plan alone.

You open the door and rush to the bathroom taking the bottles out. How could Reid do something like this? Did his team know? The anger, a familiar flame, burns through you as you flush the contents of the bottle and went back to the office to look for the paper bag that had contained your lunch this morning.

It was irrational for you to be this angry at him without even knowing him but it was there, simmering under the surface. How could someone do this to himself? To his team? To the people who rely on him?

The crumpled paper bag from earlier sat on your desk, you broke the needle off, and shoved it inside with the empty bottles to dump it deep into one of the trash cans in the hallway. Out of sight, out of mind. At least for now.

You go through your cabinets, looking for the draft files. “Where is it?” you muttered under your breath, flipping through yet another folder. The contents were a jumble of case summaries, old briefs, and legal drafts, but none of them held the connection you were chasing. You were good with names, especially if it was tied to a legal document, which could be sad but right now is useful when you finally stumble upon a file that felt too familiar. You pulled it out, the edges worn from use, and opened it. A closing statement you’d written 5 years ago during a case.

Lawrence Finch. Larry.

Father of two kids with a wife, family that was taken away from him because in a car accident where the other driver was a rich guy who was too high to understand anything and got out harmless, Evan Grayson was his name. You remember how hollow he looked and how much he had thanked you after you got the guy sentenced. In your closing statement you spoke about the depth of his loss, about the void that could never be filled. You'd used his words, his pain, to hammer home the injustice, the lives lost because of one reckless decision. You remembered how his face had softened in that brief moment of relief after the sentence was handed down. He’d shaken your hand and said, “You gave me my justice.”

Glancing at the words you realize how the words you’d written, once so full of conviction, now echoed in your head, twisted and distorted. The Unsub had taken your closing statement—Lawrence Finch’s words—and turned them into something chilling.

"Your silence speaks for the victims. They can no longer speak for themselves." had become "Your silence speaks for itself."

"Integrity is the foundation of justice. It means holding those responsible accountable, no matter who they are." was now "Integrity means different things to different people. Some get to define it for themselves."

"His behavior demonstrates a complete disregard for human life, a pattern of recklessness that cannot go unpunished." had morphed into "Your behavior demonstrates a pattern of reckless disregard for justice."

And the final sting, the one that had sealed the fate of the driver who’d taken a family’s life, was now twisted into something far more personal "No one is above the law, not even those who believe their privilege protects them from it." turned into "No one is above the law. Except for the guilty who’ve been given second chances."

He wasn’t just echoing your words—he was using them, warping them into a weapon.

You grab Morgan’s phone and look through the contacts before pressing call “Garcia, I need you to look up something for me,” the urgency was clear in your voice.

“You are not my chocolate thunder but speak and you'll be heard” Garcia responded, always upbeat even when the stakes were high.

“Evan Grayson. I need everything you can find on him—parole status, criminal record, anything recent,” you said, pacing the room as your mind spun with connections you were still piecing together.

"Got it! Give me a second, I’ll dig into the system,” Garcia said, her voice clicking into business mode. A few moments of silence passed, you hear some rustling outside but ignore it, before she spoke again, her tone more focused. “Okay, here we go. Evan Grayson, 27, convicted of vehicular manslaughter five years ago. Served three years, got released early on good behavior.”

“Garcia, they guy murdered almost an entire family five years ago, the only one left was the father Larry Finch, he’s our unsub, he’s been using the words of trial for the notes!” you said, your voice tight. “We need to localize him and inform the rest of the team that-.”

Before you could finish, a scuffle echoed from down the hallway, followed by a muffled shout that cut through the silence of the building. Morgan’s voice calling your name with an edge of panic. Garcia’s voice asking what was going on felt far.

You bolted toward the sound, heart pounding in your chest. The door to your office was ajar, and you caught sight of Morgan wrestling with someone, a blur of motion. The other figure was struggling, trying to break free, but Morgan’s grip was like steel.

"Get down!" Morgan barked, his voice gruff with exertion.

Your eyes widened as you recognized the man, Larry Finch, the very person whose family had been torn apart in the accident. He was here. Right here. In your office. Probably looking for you.

Your mind raced, trying to process the situation, but Morgan didn’t give you time to think. He quickly subdued Larry, pinning him to the ground with the precision only years of training could provide. The fight drained from Larry’s body as Morgan cuffed him, his breath coming in ragged gasps with his gaze towards the officers that were running towards him.

His words pierced the air, heavy with accusation. “You promised me he would never get out! You failed me! All of you failed me!” Larry’s voice was raw, full of grief and rage. This wasn’t the grieving father you’d met 5 years ago, this was a man hollowed out by loss, filled with nothing but rage and betrayal. His words struck deep because he wasn’t wrong, you understood profusely the feelings and you had failed him somehow and maybe if you had known about Evan Grayson getting out you could’ve done something. Those eyes full of hurt and betrayal were locked on you as they pulled him away, Morgan´s concerned gaze on your figure frozen behind the door of your office, with your hands still clenching the statement.

He went to put a hand on your shoulder to comfort you “Wanna step outside for some air?” he offers. You shake your head, moving on to the next task, locking your feelings away “i’ll meet you outside, I just… I need to do something real quick.”. He hesitates but nods and leaves you alone giving your shoulder a brief squeeze as you walk back to your desk, focused on the pace of your breaths and working on keeping them even. You see Morgan’s phone screen with a message from Garcia “i heard noises and called for backup”

So everyone was downstairs. Everyone including Reid. Reid. Dilaudid. Your fault. Anger.

You exhaled slowly, willing yourself to stay in control and not destroy or throw anything that was at your reach, you grab the black desk phone, speed dialing 9 without even looking. When a calming “Hello?” sounds in the other line you breathe deep again, the grip on the phone getting tighter, you close your eyes, steadying yourself as you grab a pen and paper with shaking hands.

“Dr. Fitzgerald i… i need your help”

　　　　 　　　 .˳˳.⋅ॱ˙ ˙ॱ⋅.˳˳.⋅ॱ˙ ˙ॱᐧ.˳˳.⋅.　　　　　　

You step outside just as JJ and Reid emerge from a black SUV. JJ barely spares a glance before rushing toward Morgan, Prentiss, and Hotch, but Reid stops. His gaze lands on you, then drifts lower to the satchel slung across your body. His satchel.

Your breath catches for half a second, but you don’t give him the chance. Before he can take a step in your direction, you move first. Quick, deliberate. You make your way to another SUV, open the backseat, and set the bag inside without so much as a glance in his direction. Then, with Larry’s file gripped tight in your hand, you head straight for the team.

You don’t look at him. You can’t.

But it doesn’t stop you from feeling the weight of his stare. From sensing the way he lingers, trying to find a moment, an opening, to talk to you alone. You know exactly how that conversation will go, how the fury and frustration bubbling under your skin will erupt the second he speaks. If he tries, you will yell. And you don’t trust yourself to stop.

So, instead, you focus. You lay out what you’ve found to the rest of the team members, flipping through the notes, explaining the connections, your voice steady despite the storm inside you, trusting that he’ll have the decency to not approach you.

Out of the corner of your eye, you catch movement. Reid. He’s walking toward another SUV, the leather bag, your leather bag, slipping from his shoulder as he places it inside without hesitation.

He caught on.

You force yourself to keep talking, to keep your focus on the case, but inside, you're torn. Part of you wants to be grateful that he understood, that he’s playing along. Another part of you hates that he did.

Because it means he knows. And that’s almost worse.

　　　　 　　　 .˳˳.⋅ॱ˙ ˙ॱ⋅.˳˳.⋅ॱ˙ ˙ॱᐧ.˳˳.⋅.　　　　　　

You watched the chessboard, considering the game’s progress. The case was wrapped up, but you still had some files and reports to gather. More than that, you liked talking to the team, there was something about the spirit of family among them that you hadn’t expected. It was a strange feeling, one that tugged at you.

“Would you like to play?” you heard someone ask you, making you turn around to see Agent Gideon, speaking of “family”, you had noticed how he acted like a mentor or father to Reid, maybe he was. You knew fathers weren't perfect, you guess that extended to figurative ones too, but how could someone so proud of playing that role ignore something as obvious as Reid’s addiction? No help, no support. Did he even know what it was like to battle something like that? did he even know what it was like having an addiction? did he know Reid has one?

“Yes” you answer to him, chess has always played an important part in your life, a way out, literally and metaphorically, a board of 46 squares and more possible moves than the amount of atoms in the universe, a regulated and controlled space, where you had all the control.

You both sat at opposite sides of the board, rearranging the pieces. “Black or white?” he asked. “I'm fine with either”. You didn't believe in luck or coincidences, so when he grabbed both queens and made you pick, drawing black, you didn't think much of it. Mathematically you were at a disadvantage, when two machines play chess, black always loses. But you’d gone through enough to know better than to give up on a weak starting position.

So move after move, you weren't playing to win really, and judging his moves he wasn't either, you can tell a lot from someone's way to play chess. “It's nice to play against someone new you know?”. Gideon glanced for a second at Reid with a brief smile. That made you doubt your next move, because your rage has always made you freeze for a second and erratic the next. How could he?. Yes, you have been avoiding Reid at all costs. No, you didn't know if he and Dr. Fitzgerald had talked. You had helped him in the best way you could've possibly found fighting to not panic too much.

So you hummed in response, letting the wheels in your head turn as you shifted your strategy, so when you started playing to win, the game was too advance for him to do a proper counter attack.

“Checkmate” a smile appeared on your face, the same one when you knew the inmate was going to get convicted, when your closing statement had convinced the jury. When someone underestimated you.

Gideon tilted his head, eyebrows raised, lips pursed. He glanced between you and the board. “Didn’t see that one coming,”

With your fingers still resting lightly on the queen, you paused for a second. “Yeah there's a lot of things you either don't see or choose to ignore, Agent Gideon” your piercing stare and a cool voice, heavy with the weight of frustration.

Gideon’s smile faltered, and for the first time, his eyes showed something more than just the calm resolve he always projected. Your words had hit the mark. He knew it wasn’t just about chess.

You had outplayed him, just as you had outplayed the situation. And just as you had done with Reid, by realizing and taking action, something that clearly no one else had.

After talking to Hotch, reports in hand, as you walked out of the Headquarters and stumble upon Morgan, who gives you a warm and friendly smile as he says hi.

"Hey umm.. I wasn't really able to thanked you the other night after you saved my life, I truly thought it was just a cleaning lady" It felt so shameful how unaware you had been at the danger that night because of your meltdown.

He moves his hand as it was nothing. "Hey I'm just glad I decided to go with you instead of waiting in the car"

Reaching for one of your presentation cards, neatly saved in your new black leather bag, holding it between your index and middle finger to him "Well... I still own a big one. So if you ever need legal help or anything else, don't hesitate to reach for me"

He takes it nodding and reads it out loud your full name with a funny pace "I'll hold on to that one Miss A.D.A. Woodvale".

You laugh at his way to pronounce it, feeling too formal for the moment "Please just.. call me Woody"

He chuckles "Wait like the Toy Story character?"

You chuckled too "Yeah it's uhh.. dumb name but.." you shrug as a friendly smile paints your face as you realize you had made a new friend which was weird for you but felt oddly satisfying as you said your goodbyes and walked in opposite's directions.

Your thoughts wandered to Spencer, against your better judgment, they always did recently. It was infuritating the fact that your mind always went back around him, you couldn’t quite say why exactly, because if you would've have never found out what you did, he would've have stayed as the rude and annoying agent you met once.

But then you remembered the other side of him—the trembling hands, the lost stares, the outburst, the bottles you found in his bag. You couldn’t unsee it, couldn’t separate him from the shadow of his addiction. And it broke something inside you, because you knew what that darkness looked like, how it devoured people whole.

You wanted to reach for him, to offer more than the cold anger and frustration you’d shown, but you were too afraid. Afraid of what it might mean for both of you if he couldn’t, or wouldn’t, fight his way out. Afraid that you would fall too, trying to save someone.

You hoped he would get help. You prayed to gods you didn't even believe in for it. You knew all too well what it felt like to be trapped in that cycle, in your body. You couldn’t bear the thought of him staying there, lost.

And so you walked away, keeping your distance, even though a part of you that you didn’t understood ached to stay.

　　　　 　　　 .˳˳.⋅ॱ˙ ˙ॱ⋅.˳˳.⋅ॱ˙ ˙ॱᐧ.˳˳.⋅.　　　　　　

part II

Feedback feeds motivation! Likes, reblogs and comments are all appreciated <3

[dduane]

Process for the new DEEP WIZARDRY International Edition cover

(rolls up sleeves) Right. Writing work (and recurring health issues) have repeatedly pushed these pieces of work to one side for the last year and a half. Time to take a brief break from ongoing work in other universes to rectify that.

Here's the template that I'm building on: the international edition cover for So You Want To Be A Wizard. (Available only outside North America, if you're wondering what makes it international. These paperbacks use the New Millennium Edition texts—except for the international edition of Games Wizards Play [when it comes out later this year], which was written to fit into the NME timeline to begin with, and will go into its international editions with that text.)

The cover concept's straightforward. Relatively dark, desaturated backgrounds: one glowy (or somewhat glowy) thing in the foreground, in a color that pops, or in lighting that makes it stand out.

For Deep Wizardry, things get slightly complicated by the fact that so much business happens underwater. But there are some things we can work with there. A scene in which two pivotal characters square off seems like a fair bet.

So: background first. Underwater lighting...

The sea floor: sand.

Sunlight from above the water.

But naturally that's not how the bottom would look, because there are ripples on the surface...

And naturally the sea bottom isn't going to be featureless, so we need some weeds and rocks.

The distribution's not ideal on these, but that comes under "fine tuning." That can happen over the weekend.

Now for the main attractions. Nita...

...and Ed. (ETA: There are some scale issues here. Properly speaking, Ed'rashtekaresket is significantly bigger, in comparison with Nita, than he's being framed in this shot. But Nita had to be big enough to actually show on the cover... So some liberties inevitably get taken.)

Now, while this is all promising enough so far, there's a bit of a problem. Nita's not terribly visible at this point. So, time to engage in some visual jiggerypokery that will both help with that problem and do something to hint at the connection between these two.

IIRC, Nita was wearing a wizardly forcefield in this scene to provide her with air and other necessities. So let's exploit that.

In the render, I can apply to her figure what in Daz Studio parlance is called a "geoshell": a kind of skintight digital overskin to which special effects can be applied: such as light emission. (And Nita's hair will get one too.) Since everything else in the scene is cool-colored, this light is going to need to be warmer, in (at the very least) a golden range. (Or rosy. May be playing with that for a bit.)

...But obviously we can't leave her looking like that. So what I get to do now is lose the rest of the scene and render Nita separately, in the same position but with different, less blued-out lighting...

...then add her figure back into the scene, over the geoshelled version (which can be clone-brushed out later).

...So when we slot that imagery into the paperback cover template, after some tweaking, this is what we get.

...Still some things to correct or refine here. (Such as the main body of back cover text, as I haven't written the new copy yet. And the quotes may want tweaking: the NYTimes review [which the WaPo picked up] had some lines that might work better.) Colors, composition, etc etc, can all use some final touches. But I think we're most of the way there.

With any kind of luck, this edition will be available online in paperback and ebook formats for the non-North American audience this time next week. (I'm still considering whether I want to offer hardcovers on these as well.)

(sigh) Now I want some tea. And then, tomorrow maybe, on to the int'l edition of High Wizardry...

ETA 2: off @softness-and-shattering's question:

If I may ask, is it not your publishers job to do this work? Is this a continuation of the thing where authors now seem to be expected to do their own marketing too, or are you doing the new millenium editions 'on your own' or similar?

I'm doing them on my own. While there are numerous foreign-language editions of the original YW books, the only publisher to use the NME texts so far (for books 1-3) has been Lumen éditions in France, and I'm not clear whether those editions are still in print.

Whatever their status, that still leaves me with a lot of countries where I can publish. And if that job's going to get done—lacking other publishers' interest, which my agents would handle—It falls to me to take the work forward. Such are the wonders of our age that I no longer have to wait for a publisher to turn up. And should something suddenly happen for publishers to get interested (like a TV series or whatever) then i can easily withdraw my own editions and let my agents do deals with them.

Meanwhile, why (as we say) leave money on the table? There are other English-speaking countries on the planet where the YW books can be marketed (and more countries still where—when there's cash to spare to hire the necessary creative talent—translations might not do too badly). So I might as well get on with it! I've got groceries to buy and bills to pay like everybody else... :)

(And just pausing here to point at the page pinned to the top of my feed. If you want to help with those groceries, there's a good place to start: the ebook bundles are still at their pre-holiday sale prices! ...Unless you're in the UK. [I'm so sorry about Brexit, folks, but there's nothing I can do about that...])

[thebestofoneshots]

SERIES MASTERLIST

Gilded Constellations | (wolfstar x reader)

Summary: You meet Sirius and Regulus at a family vacation in the Caribbean, but things don't go as planned and you end up losing contact once the trip is over. Years later your family moves to England and you get accepted at Hogwarts where you finally meet Sirius once again, along with all of his friends. One of them with a mysterious secret, that you'll uncover as you embark on your own Hogwarts adventure. Mostly canon-compliant. This IS a wolfstar x reader fic, but it's incredibly slow burn. They won't start all dating each other until we're very deep into the story, but I promise the long wait will be worth it.

Read Gilded Constellations on AO3

Read the French Translation by @nagareboshi-chiyo

Paring: Sirius Black x Reader / Remus Lupin x reader / Wolfstar x reader

Chapter average: 5k - 6.5 k

Content: Smut in later chapters, Poly!Marauders, throuple, graphic descriptions of violence, MAJOR and minor character death (this is The Marauders Era guys, you know), jealousy, angst, pining, love triangle, LGBTQ+ themes, The Wizarding war 1.0, implied child abuse, possible proofreading errors, mental health struggles, hurt no comfort, hurt with comfort, period typical attitude, first war with Voldemort, canonical character's death, fluff, Requited Love, F/M/M, mostly canon-compliant.

Status: Ongoing (Weekly updates)

♡ Indicates SMUT

PLAYLIST

01 | Summer Breeze

02 | Escape

03 | Bitter Sweet Symphony

04 | Rainy Days and Mondays

05 | Good times

06 | Crazy Little Thing Called Love

07 | Peaceful Easy Feeling

08 I Fooled Around and Fell in Love

09 | The Fairy Feller's Master-Stroke

10 | Black Dog

11 | Do Ya

12 | You really got me

13 | Rebel, Rebel

14 | Maybe I’m Amazed

15 | No One Like You

Interlude (Q&A Event)

16 | Boogie Wonderland

17 | Tonight’s What It Means To Be Young

18 | Friends will be Friends

19 | Silver Bird

20 | Bad Moon Rising

21 | Fox on the Run

22 | Long Long Way From Home

23 | Hungry Eyes

24 | Peace of Mind

25 | I’ll get Even With You

26 | Hooked on a Feeling

27 | Can’t Take My Eyes Off You

28 | If You Want BIood, (You’ve Got It)

29 | With a Little Help From My Friends

30 | Bridge Over Troubled Water

31 | Strange Magic

32 | Come a Little Bit Closer

33 | More Than a Feeling

34 | You Belong to Me

35 | Chill of Desire

36 | Good Old Fashioned Lover Boy

37 | Gimme, Gimme, Gimme

38 | Let the Good Times Roll

39 | Running With the Pack

40 | Hot Stuff

41 | Urban Adventure

42 | Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas

43 | Sympathy for the Devil

44 | No One But You

45 | Hold The Line

46 | Comfortably Numb

47 | Let Me Take You Home Tonight

48 | Dust in the Wind

49 | High Hopes

50 | Love the One You're With ♡

51 | Some Guys Have All The Luck ♡

52 | Twentieth Century Fox

53 | Too Much Love Will KiII You

54 | Sail Away Sweet Sister

55 | Noone Together

56 | Who Wants To Live Forever

57 | Play the Game

58 | Staying Power

59 | Break on Through

60 | Stone in Love

61 | Mr. Blue Sky

62 | Born to be Wild

63 | Something About You

64 | Put Out The Fire

65 | Spell Binder

66 | Hot Love

67 | What's On My Mind

68 | Mysteries and Mayhem

69 | Livin' Thing

70 | Back Talk

71 | We've Only Just Begun

72 |

73 |

74 |

75 |

.

.

.

BONUS TRACKS:

Your Theories, The Note, The Costumes, Sirius and the Chimney, Sirius and Vix after the bad moon, Evans and Vixen, Remus and Vixen at the infirmary, Remus holding Sirius at DADA, Remus and Sirius’ height difference, the FOXSTAR picture, Art by @nineloseteeth, We're going French,

Leave a comment telling me if you want to join the tag list

A/N: Most Poly!Marauders fics are oneshots, where the relationship between characters is already established, and they're all happy and pleased with it. No issues, no drama, but I WANTED the drama. Couldn't find it, so I set myself up to write the story behind the stablished relationship. I wanted to know how they started dating each other, the jealousy, the will they won't they, because getting into a poly relationship can't be an easy task, and I wanted to explore that story. If you're interested: Welcome to Gilded Constellations!

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - Getting hot under the collar and in the kitchen and on the pool table and...

Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

Aug 2024 Week 3

Ongoing Series - Thai

Monster Next Door (Thai Thurs Gaga ) eps 3-4 of 12 - one of the things I'm enjoying about this show is the fact that the introverted super shy uke is having hot fantasies, and the extroverted seme is having the sweet fantasies. It's another way this show is highlighting God being the world's greenest flagged seme BL has ever produced. (And he's being given stiff competition this year - trend alert.)

Anygay: God is so cute and so not cool and so in love and all the consent asking word salad coming out of this boy. I LOVE him. 

Diew: It’s ep 4 so I’ve decided we can talk face-to-face.  God: So how many children do you want? 

The teaching him to play basketball bit, where God politely asks to hold his hand, is so freaking adorable I can’t.

I'm thinking of calling this show the anti-Mame pill.

Blue pill? Red pill? GREEN pill!

My Love Mix-Up Th (Fri YT) ep 11 of 12 - We gotta talk. I do like this version, but it’s starting to feel lackluster. Perhaps it always was by comparison to the bright sparkle uniqueness of the original. Perhaps I didn't notice because I was distracted by G4. But now I gotta say it's become a bit disappointing and even my love for G4 can’t seem to bind me to this. Frankly, this show is making me want to watch either the Japanese version, or My School President. It’s never a good sign when a currently airing BL makes me want to stop that and go rewatch an old one I’ve already seen.

NO SINGING.

Meanwhile, the "locked on the rooftop" trope! I haven’t seen that one in years. Cool. Also cute kisses. They learning. 

This Love Doesn't Have Long Beans (Fri iQIYI) ep 7 of 8 - I can’t believe this is ending next week. But also I can. And I have thoughts.

I really love SailubPon. They might be one of my favorite newer pairs on the scene right now. But I just don’t believe in these characters or this couple. I don’t feel like they are going to have a lasting relationship. It feels like they’re just using each other for sex and distraction, and that’s how the script to set it up, and as a result they’re never gonna make it as a couple. As soon as the sexual fire between them burns out, what do they have to build a relationship on? Frankly? That would be fine if this were a modern love drama, and not a BL. But this IS a BL.

Putting the health code violators aside, I really do believe in the secondary pair, but they haven’t been given enough bandwidth to develop as a couple. There’s no way they’re going to adequately resolve Methas and JJ in the final episode.

At this juncture, I’m mostly finding this show annoying. Which in itself is annoying, because I wanted to love it.

Why is it that Thailand, the land of the best food in the world, king of BLs, struggles so hard to produce the restaurant set BL of my dreams? I’m really pissed about this.

That said, the Methas & JJ stuff is killer. Loved JJ running away. So good. Plus the age old decision - love or money? 

Battle of the Writers (Sun YT) ep 2-3 of 12 - The issue was me and I've managed to get hold of this show again. The story within the story is so ridiculously badly written I'm going spare. I’m not sure if the outside show is not ALSO badly written. That said, I do love how the 3 writer friends are all shipping our leads. It’s VERY silly. Meanwhile, cohabitation trope is a go. 

I like the side couple too. Stern Daddy + lost puppy is a very cute dynamic, I hope we get more than just crumbs. I actually am enjoying this show now. Ep 3 kinda derailed into this weird chimera novel that they’re all writing together and I’m finding that bit the least interesting, but I adore the domestic components which I think may turn out to be TutorYim's strength (if they're allowed to lean into it). 

Addicted Heroin (Thai Tues WeTV) ep 1 of 10 - Man I hope this gets some kind of distribution at some point. It was a pain to find and watch. But I enjoyed it. The focus is more on the seme in Thailand’s version. Which I don’t mind since that's rare in BL, and it’s more August on my screen. It’s all round softer than China’s version but still feels very familiar. I know some fans are struggling with it, but not me.

Sunset X Vibes (Sat iQIYI) ep 10 of 12 - I like that Sam’s crafty business espionage has paid off. Them teasing Sam & Yo really had me belly laughing. It was so funny.

Legitimate question. Would one put perfume on one’s cheeks in Thailand, as one does on wrist or sternum? Because of the sniff cheek thing? Scented face powders?

I do feel like with MosBank & SailubPon scorching up our screens, we’re being spoiled by some of Thailand‘s best high heat pairs at the moment.

I Saw You in My Dream (Weds Gaga) ep 5 of 12 - It remains kind of sweet and cute. It's also calm and slow moving. Oddly it reminds me of La Cuisine in its style and execution (if not content). I’m enjoying it more than I thought I would.

The Trainee (Sun YouTube) ep 7 of 12 - I don’t know. I’m getting bored.

Love Sea (Sun iQIYI) ep 10fin - Fort’s acting during the break-up was truly great. But I feel for Rak. It’s rough to learn that someone else is playing a long game with feelings while you were playing a short game with d**k.

Ultimately this is probably a solid 8/10 show but I’m mad I wasn’t madder at it, and I'm mad I was so bored throughout. So it gets a 7/10 and let us not speak of this again. I’d like to simply forget about it. Trash watch.

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Sugar Dog Life (Japan Sun grey) ep 1-2 of 10 - OMG a uni student who looks young and a... COP! GAH. The subversion and kink of it all. I had to go grey to get it and I hate everything about what I had to do. But ya know what? Fucking worth every single repeated crash-causing advertisement.

I love it. The grumpy lonely little student cook and the cheerful mature police officer. What a fabulous dynamic. Is the cook looking for a boyfriend or a Daddy, and do we care if it has the same result? It is filmed VERY manga style camp. I’m a little nervous about that, but this means it’s also very fluffy and so damn sweet. It made me squeak with the cute. I’m gutted this didn’t get distribution.

Ironic that Tawada Hideya is in a new BL while Sunspot is re-airing.

Cosmetic Playlover (Japan Tues Gaga) eps 3-4 of 8 - Ah, the gays are doubting the bisexual again. How familiar. I like how this one is paced and moving through time, even if the relationship seems to be going comparatively slowly by contrast. I love the way Sahashi is always looking at Natsume, even when they’re in conversation with someone else. Ah yearning. I think the conflict was kind of inevitable, given the two personalities of the protagonists, and I like that. (No manufactured angst here.) But I still hope they can repair the breach and I’m still interested. Frankly this is so classically Japan - I don’t know what story beats it’s following and I’m not entirely sure where it’s going, but I kinda like that unpredictability. Makes me think it could go into "must you, Japan?" territory but fingers crossed.

I Hear the Sunspot AKA Hidamari ga Kikoeru (Japan Weds Gaga) ep 9 of 10 - I'm enjoying it very much. I could do without the girl character. I know she’s more interesting than most (this is Japan after all), but she’s not really for me. It’s the complexity of the connection between the leads (and why they like each other) that’s being executed so brilliantly in this show (and in the manga, FYI). Both actors are so on point with their roles and the nuanced emotions required of these characters that every time it’s only them interacting I'm riveted. I could do without the rest of the cast tho.

Seoul Blues (Korea Fri? YouTube) ep 1 of 8 - I have a confession to make, I’ve been watching this whole series as it goes along. But this is the pair I absolutely like the most. I’m not sure I would necessarily recommend any of the installments, and I’m not sure how this one is going to go, but I’m VERY invested in this particular couple. They are so pretty!!!! This is a true friends-to-lovers struggle. I like that a lot. (Reminds me of I Cannot Reach You but a different dynamic.) Did I mention how pretty they are? And we already know they gonna kiss well. I bet the uncut version is stellar.

Meet You at the Blossom (China) - It's no one's funeral, turns out! Reports are in - not only are there kisses but it ends happily with wedding plans. So I'm eating crow, binging the fucker, and live blogging. I'm enjoying it. Ya'll know I adored Chinese BL before censorship. It has a certain unhinged quality I very much apreciate (and is the reason I'm so tolerant of the Thai pulps) that I think will marry well with Wuxia's effervescent and ever-present tropes. Watch me suffer here.

First Note Of Love (Taiwan Mon Gaga) eps 1-2 of 12 - About a singer with stage fright and his timid fan starring Charles (H4 the puppy one) and Michael Chang (the youngster in My Tooth Your Love), plus side couple featuring a Thai actor Jame (Koh in Gen Y) and Liu Min Ting (of Guardian fame). What a damn team. With their powers combined they are...

fine.

This is a fine BL. The fight scene was fun and I like the meet cute. I’m not sure about the chemistry of the leads, but I think they’ll probably do okay. I admit I’m struggling a bit with a singing and the music. Are you surprised? I think I like it enough, but I’m not wowed.

Takara's Treasure AKA Takara No Vidro (Japan Mon Gaga) ep 7 of 10 - Oh! Out of the blue attack kiss. What IS this show? I don’t get it at all. Bah. I guess they’re dating now. It’s… so odd...

It's airing but...

4 Minutes (Thai Netflix/Grey) - A rich boy at uni suddenly gains the supernatural power to see four minutes into the future. I have a source, but I've decided to hold off and binge if it ends okay, since it's only 8 eps. I depend upon y'all to tell me if it's safe.

8/16 The Last Time (Thai Fri YT) ? eps - Convoluted story of loss and possible reincarnation or something. Again delayed? Not sure what's going on with this one but the continued push-backs do not bode well.

In case you missed it

The Time of Fever AKA Unintentional Love Story 2 (Korea movie) trailer IS COMING IN SEPTEMBER!!!! (Yeah this is gonna sit here until then).

Next Week Looks Like This:

Upcoming BLs for 2024 are listed here. This list is not kept updated, so please leave a comment if you know something new or RP with additions.

Still Coming This Month!

8/22 The On1y One (Taiwan Thurs Gaga) 12 eps - announced in 2023 this one has a high school set stepbrothers trope and is reputed to be high heat. From Taiwan! It's made for me. Based on a novel Mou Mou from the Your Name Engraved Herein folks, so it could go dark. Still, I'm very excited.

8/22 The Paradise of Thorns (Thai movie) theater release - Jeff Satur is back but this does not look like a BL (the gay lover's death is the inciting event). More in Goodbye Mother vein. Looks dark and dramatic. He opposite and extremely well known actor Toey Pongsakorn who has never done gay before.

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

WHY IS HE SO FINE?

I truly belly laughed. Sam & Yo did not go in the direction I expected, but this scene alone made me not mind that they curtailed the suffering Sam was rightfully due. (SunsetXVibes)

Tall boyfriend armpit, anyone? (Monster Next Door)

The two extremes of BL in one show (Long Beans indeed).

(Last week)

Streaming services are listed by how I (usually) watch, which is with a USA based IP, and often offset by a day because time zones are a pain.

The tag BLigade: @doorajar @solitaryandwandering @my-rose-tinted-glasses @babymbbatinygirl @babymbbatinygirl @isisanna-blog @mmastertheone @pickletrip @aliceisathome @urikawa-miyuki @tokillamonger @sunflower-positiiivity @rocketturtle4 @blglplus @anythinggoesintheshire @everlightly @renafire @mestizashinrin @bl-bam-beyond @small-dark-and-delicious @saezurumurmurs

Sigh, Tumblr in its infinite wisdom doesn't like too many tags.

[sophie-frm-mars]

Hi, ex-supporter here. Genuinely hope you’re doing well. I have been tempted to start up my support again because you genuinely are a talented writer/creator and I do enjoy your work.

I hope you understand supporting your Patreon is somewhat fraught. Your private life should be none of our business, but sadly it is relevant here. Moral action, both private and political is central to your work; you have called out plenty of people for abuse & morality drives your politics. We know abuse took place on your end, but that’s all.

A lot of people like myself might be emotionally rooting for you to bounce back from this, but are unable to support you right now because that moral dissonance has not been resolved. We really don’t know if you are like other ‘cancelled’ leftist influencers and just use leftist values to deflect attention away from abuse, or you are actually trying to do better and working on yourself.

You don’t owe us anything. However, many of us who are eager to support you are forced to hold back because trust has been damaged, and there has not been any real sign of reparation or reconciliation. Maybe you think those kind of questions are invasive, maybe you don’t think we are real fans for not sticking by you despite the allegations.

I don’t know, I just want you to know that there are plenty of people who do want to support you, but feel they need to trust you first. And that can’t happen without addressing some things.

Anyways, best wishes. Take care.

Hiya, thank you for speaking to me on this.

Before I say the rest of what I say I want to be clear that between me and the people I was involved with in 2023, there were some instances where I was responsible for harm, there were instances where I received harm and there was also a general pervasive ecosystem of harmful behaviours in the community I was in. This includes people who signed the statement against me, and in one instance one of them did something which everyone to whom I have described it has agreed is sexual assault, though there is more besides.

For the time being I'm not talking publicly more about what happened because it was a very messy situation, and although I have been seriously harmed by issues in my personal life being litigated in public in this way, I don't want to give my full account of my relationships with everyone involved because I don't want that type of harm to be done to other trans women. There are plenty of complicating factors as there often are in real life that social media isn't really capable of parsing. I have made it clear repeatedly that I am open to hearing anything that people involved want to say to me, and I talked in this post in January about that and about what I would be doing to ensure that I put in the work and make sure I don't cause harm like it again

https://x.com/sophie_frm_mars/status/1745414530455261531

I think that that post says everything I would like to say for now, although I regret saying I agree that my behaviour was abusive, because with more distance and perspective I don't think abusive behaviour was actually described to me.

As I understand it via the support that my therapist and friends have offered, my problems in 2023 were that: I wasn't taking my mental health seriously, I didn't learn good kink practice, I had very little appreciation of my own boundaries and when I shouldn't be doing something that someone asks me to do, and I was high basically all the time. I am in therapy and doing DBT and taking my mental health deadly seriously, I have done a huge amount of reading assigned by my therapist about kink, sex, relationships and mental health, I am working in an ongoing way on learning how to effectively communicate, know my boundaries and understand myself well enough to not be in the kinds of situations that risk harm, and I'm no longer high all the time.

(If anyone is interested in those book recs, so far I've read: Tomorrow Sex Will Be Good Again by Katherine Angel; The Right To Sex by Amia Srinivasan; Screw Consent (I hate this edgy title) by Joseph Fischel; Playing Well With Others; The Loving Dominant by John and Libby Warren; I Hope We Choose Love by Kai Cheng Thom; The New Topping Book by Dossie Easton and Janet W Hardy; and Dissociation Made Simple by Jamie Marich. There have been some others, and I've written a bit about them in the book club channel on my discord as I've been reading)

I haven't heard from the people involved. The last I heard from anyone was one of my exes calling me a pathological liar and saying that they just want to move on with their lives, so while I'm doing the work to make sure I act better in future I am just trying to get on with my life and let them get on with theirs. I hope this clarifies why I have not talked further about the situation.

I will say that the last few months have been hellish for me. I have been frequently suicidal, I spent Christmas and new years alone, I lost a tooth because I couldn't afford proper dental treatment, people from within the community I've been ostracised from have been putting pressure on my remaining friends to cut ties with me, Keffals had my abuser on her twitch stream, a bizarre exaggerated and monsterised version of my personal life has been publicly gossiped about by trans people, fash and "leftist" drama streamers alike, I have been doing other work to make sure I can still pay rent and afford my bills and my HRT, and to survive. As I've been getting more stable and more able to focus on things besides this, I've been working on new writing because all I want with regard to my work and my channel is for my writing to help people. I don't want to talk about my private life, but I do understand that some number of people will feel after what has been said about me that they can't move forward with me without hearing the full details. Lots of people in my life have repeatedly encouraged me to publish a full account of everything that happened but I know how the Internet works and I don't want other trans women to be harmed in the ways that I have been harmed.

[covid-safer-hotties]

Also preserved in our archive

By Julia Doubleday

For many disabled and immunocompromised people, hospital settings are a significant threat to health and safety. Since the beginning of the COVID-19 pandemic, nosocomial- or healthcare acquired- SARS-COV-2 infections have been an additional risk for sick and vulnerable people seeking care. As of today, there have still been no updates to national-level guidance to reflect that SARS-COV-2 was determined to be airborne in 2021.

In 2020, such a risk was to be expected; hospitals were overwhelmed with patients, PPE was in short supply, proper isolation wasn’t always possible, and public health guidance about transmission was confusing and, it turns out, incorrect. Early on, the WHO confidently and wrongly asserted that COVID was not airborne; this decision led national health bodies to advise against full airborne precautions in healthcare.

But in the nearly five years since, one might assume that any patient visiting their local hospital could reasonably expect safety from infection with COVID-19. After all, we’ve had five years to study transmission, update guidelines, redesign infrastructure, upgrade ventilation, purchase PPE and train staff, right?

As a matter of fact, the CDC has yet to even issue updated infection control recommendations, much less have we seen implementation. The CDC did ask their infection control advisory body, HICPAC, to update the Guideline to Prevent Transmission of Pathogens in Healthcare Settings, last reviewed and updated in 2007. But when HICPAC submitted a first draft of the updated guidelines in November 2023, it was over loud public objections registering that draft’s inadequacy to control airborne infections.

Now, HICPAC is continuing to insist that surgical-style masks are equivalent to N-95 respirators as it pushes forward with its draft guidelines. This decision is emblematic of its commitment to preserving ineffective droplet-based infection control in spite of new information and evidence. While bizarre from a purely scientific standpoint, it makes more sense from a cultural, political and economic point of view.

I’ve written at length about the political and economic factors that led the WHO to immediately claim that COVID wasn’t airborne without the scientific evidence to do so in Spring 2020. Perhaps just as irresponsible as their early decision to spread this misinformation has been their subsequent reluctance to correct their mistake as loudly as they first made it, and ongoing refusal to unequivocally recommend airborne precautions in the years since.

This year, the WHO released a document that rescinded the previous distinction between “droplet” and “airborne” transmission of viruses. This represents progress, as new data showed that no viruses actually transmit solely via “droplets”- i.e., only via sneezes and coughs.

The evolution of the science was tracked beautifully in this Wired article. It’s astonishing that we had such basic science so wrong, for so long. But it’s critical to note that for decades, there was a large financial incentive against looking too closely at the claim that flus, colds, and other common viral and bacterial infections were being spread only via large “droplets.”

“Droplet” precautions are relatively cheap and easy compared to the more complex and expensive requirements of controlling fully airborne infections. If a virus spreads through coughs and sneezes, how do you prevent transmission? Well, we all remember early pandemic guidance. Loose fitting surgical masks, social distancing and keeping diners (or patients) six feet apart, putting up physical barriers to protect from spit, and simply washing hands and covering coughs and sneezes are all examples of droplet-based infection control measures.

But airborne spread is far more difficult to control. Now we’re talking about viruses spreading well beyond six feet, well beyond the radius of a single cough or sneeze. We’re talking about the virus spreading, not just via coughs and sneezes, but via the simple act of exhaling. And not only that, but because airborne particles are so light, they don’t quickly fall to the ground the way droplets do; instead, they can hang in the air, much like smoke. So now, a waiting room or crowded examining area full of patients with flus, colds and COVID suddenly represents a much more complicated and expensive infection control problem for a hospital.

Proper airborne infection control procedures are expensive, but they are not mysterious. Some changes would be relatively simple; masking with proper respirator-style masks, rather than surgical, is an obvious, necessary upgrade. New ventilation and filtration standards are a simple fix technologically, but require investment. Tools like Far UVC are exciting and could mean drastic leaps forward in both patient outcomes and occupational safety for HCW.

Most likely, in order to save money long term and make airborne infection control sustainable, hospitals themselves would be constructed with airborne infection control, patient isolation, airflow, ventilation, etc. as major priorities in the process of designing the infrastructure.

Airborne infection control would require, rather than tinkering at the edges of existing practices, a top-down rethinking of hospital protocols. How are patients being screened upon entry into the hospital? How can COVID, flu, RSV, etc. positive patients be protected from one another in a waiting room? Why are so many hospitals designed without windows in patient care areas?

Are you beginning to see how the economic incentives align against admitting the need for airborne infection control?

Let’s return to the WHO’s document, the one that rescinded the distinction between airborne and droplet spread. Instead, all viruses which spread through the air are now referred to as “infectious respiratory particles” or IRPs. The document encourages moving “beyond the dichotomy of previous terms known as ‘aerosols’ (generally smaller particles) and ‘droplets’ (generally larger particles).”

But problems arise when the WHO attempts to apply what we’ve learned practically- or rather, doesn’t attempt to apply it. Here, it balks at what would be a massive undertaking. As I reported previously, back in 2020, the WHO had been quick to claim:

“Would there be evidence of significant spread of SARS-CoV-2 as an airborne pathogen outside of the context of AGPs [aerosol-generating procedures], WHO would immediately revise its guidance and extend the recommendation of airborne precautions accordingly”

But in 2024, the WHO, now well aware that SARS-COV-2 is a fully airborne pathogen, adopts a new approach to infection control. It’s one totally unprecedented for any other pathogen in healthcare. They advise:

There is NO suggestion from this consultative process that to mitigate the risk of short-range airborne transmission full ‘airborne precautions’… should be used in all settings, for all pathogens, and by persons with any infection and disease risk levels where this mode of transmission is known or suspected. But conversely, some situations will require ‘airborne precautions’. This would clearly be inappropriate within a risk-based infection prevention approach where the balance of risks, including disease incidence, severity, individual and population immunity and many other factors, need to be considered, inclusive of legal, logistic, operational and financial consequences that have global implications regarding equity and access.

In other words, we shouldn’t always try to control airborne disease. That would be so hard and annoying! The document then goes to state that “risks” have to be balanced and goes on to list a bunch of factors that are never considered when it comes to the spread of other pathogens in healthcare.

When it comes to the spread of norovirus in healthcare, do doctors weigh whether to wash their hands, based on the local levels of diarrhea? When it comes to the spread of bacterial wound infections, do doctors clean surfaces based on how deadly they think the wound will be? I mean, if it’s not going to kill you, why bother, right? When it comes to bloodborne illnesses like HIV, do doctors no longer test for it because it’s now a treatable disease, no longer a death sentence?

Or, when you apply this logic to any other type of infection, is it clear that this is an absurd attempt to continue evading liability for nosocomial airborne infections in healthcare, including SARS-COV-2? People should not be infected with diseases in hospitals. Period. Regardless of disease severity. Of course, SARS-COV-2 is also incredibly severe for hospitalized patients; in Australia, nearly 1 in 10 patients who caught COVID in hospitals in 2022 and 2023 died. And these events are far from rare. Of 206 patients admitted for strokes in a hospital in Japan, 44 were infected with COVID-19. 6 of them - or 13% - died. Globally, we see the same thing over and over again: lack of airborne infection control, high rates of nosocomial infections, high rates of patient death.

The WHO chose to incorporate “balance of risks”, “disease severity”, “immunity,” and the rest of its laundry list of “factors”, not because it expects infection control bodies to do serious risk assessments, but in order to provide cover for them not to do any such thing. Universal airborne infection control would be expensive and disruptive so the WHO simply gives disease control bodies a series of “outs”.

This is the international backdrop against which the US has also been updating infection control guidance. The CDC, like other national public health bodies, does not directly report to the WHO; the WHO does not have enforcement power over the CDC. However, guidance from the WHO is taken seriously at the CDC, and experts at the CDC also influence the WHO.

The WHO’s document constructs a mile-wide loophole for HICPAC to drive through. Although HICPAC provides no evidence whatsoever that the characteristics of SARS-COV-2 (or flu, or RSV for that matter) would justify dropping airborne precautions, the language in the WHO document exists to justify dropping them in the face of the ongoing, global pandemic. Despite SARS-COV-2 being a systemic, multi-organ disease with the potential to cause long-term disability, and highly fatal when contracted by vulnerable patients, culturally and politically, we are treating it like a cold. HICPAC members are not making scientific decisions, but political ones.

The science on disease transmission has advanced tremendously since 2020. In a world that actually wanted to implement what we’ve learned from COVID, this would mean dramatically safer care for patients and healthier workplaces for HCWs. Instead, HICPAC does the opposite, working to ignore the advancements in scientific knowledge and fighting to keep infection control as similar as possible to the outdated droplet model of the pre-pandemic era.

For example, they advise that N95 respirators should be worn for “new and emerging pathogens,” but make an irrational distinction between these and other viruses that are already in circulation. You know, the ones that are actually, currently infecting patients. “Emerging/new” isn’t a type of transmission, so shouldn’t denote a type of infection control.

Even the CDC balked at HICPAC’s initial draft, sending it back with pointed questions about this bizarre distinction and other inadequate protections. It asked for clarification, stating:

Another issue relevant to preventing transmission through air is to make sure that a draft set of recommendations cannot be misread to suggest equivalency between facemasks and NIOSH Approved respirators, which is not scientifically correct nor the intent of the draft language. Although masks can provide some level of filtration, the level of filtration is not comparable to NIOSH Approved respirators.

Why would HICPAC equate surgical masks with respirators? HICPAC’s draft was not designed to protect patients; it was designed to protect the status quo and allow hospitals to continue to infect patients with COVID and other airborne diseases. It’s likely that the CDC’s decision to push back on this claim was influenced by the massive outpouring of public outrage at the draft, which was seen in both the public comments submitted and read at HICPAC’s meetings.

Additionally, both OSHA, the Occupational Safety and Health Administration, and NIOSH, the National Institute for Occupational Safety and Health, agree with both the CDC and patients that surgical masks are not sufficient protection. N95s are required to control airborne infections.

However, despite months of pushback, the tears of suffering and scared patients, the word of the experts who design respirators, as well as the input of occupational safety leaders, HICPAC remains unmoved on the subject.

In a series of votes held last month, HICPAC stuck to their guns. Lisa Baum of the New York State Nurses’ Association was the sole dissenting member of the committee, as reported by Judy Stone of Forbes. She not only voted against the anti-science equating of surgical and N95 masks, but also against allowing COVID positive staff to return to work 3 days after a positive test. The 3-day time frame has absolutely no scientific basis, and return to work should be based on negative tests, not on an arbitrary time window or symptoms. Since a quarter of all COVID cases are asymptomatic, staff should also be asymptomatically screened; they aren’t because hospitals don’t want staff taking time off. Again, these are economic, not scientific, decisions.

Putting these two votes together, HICPAC has voted to allow sick, infectious, COVID+ staff to go to work without proper PPE and infect fellow HCW and patients, in hospitals without proper ventilation and filtration. Patients who are infected in hospitals using outdated droplet precautions will have a 10% risk of death. Coworkers- even if fully vaccinated- will have a significant risk of developing a long-term health condition following their acute infection.

At a time when hospitals remain crushed by the ongoing burden of both COVID and post-COVID health problems, failing to protect workers is a particularly short-sighted decision. Studies have already shown that HCWs suffer unusually high rates of Long COVID, with a recent one in the UK finding a whopping 33.6% reporting symptoms, and 7.4% of respondents reporting an official diagnosis.

These decisions not only mean infected doctors and nurses returning to work actively ill; they also mean that hospitals will continue to reinforce false information about how COVID spreads, purposely miseducating doctors and nurses in their employ to save money.

The members of HICPAC understand that surgical masks aren’t really the equivalent of N95s, they simply believe HCWs are more likely to wear surgicals (they’ve explicitly stated such; this is not, incidentally, how infection control decisions should be made). But this reasoning is not shared with patient-care level HCWs. Instead, HCWs are told that surgical masks are a sufficient infection control measure for COVID-19 when infectious. When an informed patient seeking care tries to correct them, they are greeted with condescension; after all, the doctor’s information comes directly from the CDC.

Disabled and immunocompromised people relate stories of medical professionals who believe COVID spreads via droplets, who wear surgical masks instead of N95s, who draw curtains to prevent the spread of COVID and other viruses; in other words, they are continuing to adhere to outdated precautions. This is unsurprising, because they have never received accurate guidance reflecting our updated technical knowledge about how SARS-COV-2 and other common viruses actually spread.

They’ve never received updated information because the medical system does not want to spend money to protect workers or patients.

At the end of the day, this story is not about droplets and airborne particles as much as it is about dollars and cents. What sounds like an in-the-weeds scientific debate, is no more than a common tale of industry greed. We know- and have known- exactly what it would take to protect patients in healthcare settings. Instead, our leaders sit back and watch as day after day, more unnecessary infections and deaths accumulate. As day after day, more healthcare workers acquire illnesses at work which lead to staff shortages, worse patient outcomes, long-term departures, and the loss of talented, highly trained people from the field.

All of us, patients, doctors, nurses, and other healthcare staff alike, deserve medical leadership that will value our rights to safety in these settings. We deserve medical leadership that won’t actively try to slow scientific progress, and instead will welcome its arrival. We deserve to enter a hospital knowing we won’t be infected and killed because HICPAC would rather allow airborne nosocomial infections to continue on its watch than spend money preventing them.

Right now, the biggest factor protecting hospitals as their negligence rolls on into year five is the ignorance of the public. Most people have no idea how COVID and other viruses spread, have no idea that it’s so dangerous to contract COVID as a vulnerable patient (thanks to years of normalizing propaganda), and may themselves believe that social distancing or curtains prevent infections. This public ignorance is a deliberate tool which enables continued public health negligence on multiple fronts. Continuing to educate ourselves and each other is resistance when the state relies on ignorance to tamp down resistance to policies of mass infection and death.

[workersolidarity]

[ 📹 Scenes of evidence left behind after Israeli occupation naval gunboats fired artillery shells at fishing boats on the Mediterranean coast of Rafah, in the southern Gaza Strip. Following the shelling, the gunboats waited until residents and first responders arrived to put out the flames before shelling them as well. ]

🇮🇱⚔️🇵🇸 🚀🏘️💥🚑 🚨

DAY 229: HEALTHCARE SYSTEM COLLAPSING IN NORTHERN GAZA, NORWAY, IRELAND AND SPAIN RECOGNIZE PALESTINIAN STATE, ISRAELI MASSACRES IN GAZA CONTINUE

On 229th day of the Israeli occupation's ongoing special genocide operation in the Gaza Strip, the Israeli occupation forces (IOF) committed a total of 6 new massacres of Palestinian families, resulting in the deaths of no less than 62 Palestinian civilians, mostly women and children, while another 138 others were wounded over the previous 24-hours.

It should be noted that as a result of the constant Israeli bombardment of Gaza's healthcare system, infrastructure, residential and commercial buildings, local paramedic and civil defense crews are unable to recover countless hundreds, even thousands of victims who remain trapped under the rubble, or who's bodies remain strewn across the streets of Gaza.

In move welcomed by Palestinians and Arabs across the world, Spain, Ireland and Norway have officially recognized Palestinian Statehood, to take effect on May 28th.

The Prime Ministers of all three countries announced their recognition of Palestine as an independent State on Wednesday, May 22nd, calling on more Western countries to follow suit.

In his announcement, Norwegian Prime Minister, Jonas Gahr, said the goal of recognition was to establish a cohesive Palestinian state based around the Palestinian Authority, further noting that a two-state solution is in the interest of the Israeli occupation authorities.

Reflecting on his own country's recognition of a Palestinian state, Spanish Prime Minister Pedro Sanchez said "We are a peaceful people, and this is what thousands of demonstrators show in the protests against the Gaza massacres."

Sanchez went on to accuse the Israeli Prime Minister, Benjamin Netanyahu, of working to destroy the Gaza Strip, further endangering a two-state solution.

Irish Prime Minister, Simon Harris, made a similar announcement regarding his country's recognition of Palestine, adding that he expected more nations to recognize Palestinian statehood in the coming weeks, adding that "there is no future for the extremist version of Zionism that fuels settler violence and land seizures."

He went on to add that "there can be no peace without equality, and it is important that our decision is not misinterpreted."

In response to the announcements, the Israeli occupation authorities summoned the ambassadors for Norway and Ireland in order to "conduct emergency consultations."

In other news, in an urgent warning issued by the World Health Organization (WHO), doctors with the international healthcare organization say the last two hospitals remaining in the northern Gaza Strip, Al-Awda Hospital in Jabalia and Kamal Adwan Hospital in Beit Lahiya, are barely functional after 8 months of non-stop bombardment, and the blockade of fuel and medical supplies by the Israeli occupation.

Doctors with the two hospitals told reporters that the Israeli occupation army continues to open fire on associated buildings, while occupation snipers have been posted on nearby rooftops at one of the hospitals.

According to Dr. Muhammad Saleh, the acting Director of Al-Awda Hospital, today marks the "third day of the siege of Al-Awda Hospital in northern Gaza," while the Israeli occupation forces continue "shooting at the hospital buildings" while Israeli "snipers" have taken positions in nearby homes.

Dr. Saleh went on tell journalists that the Israeli occupation has destroyed the southern wall of Al-Awda Hospital, while "all the medical staff and patients" remain inside the hospital's wings, which have become "very difficult to move between."

The doctor went on to add that hospital staff are forced to bring water from one hospital building to the other, a result of IOF soldiers having "struck the first building with a shell that targeted the fifth floor and destroyed the water tanks."

Speaking from a press conference in Geneva, Switzerland, the head of the World Health Organization (WHO), Tedros Adhanom Ghebreyesus, told reporters that “148 hospital workers and 22 patients and their companions are trapped inside” the hospital.

Following several recent visits to Al-Awda Hospital by WHO staff to deliver medical supplies and fuel, Ghebreyesus says Israeli snipers targeted the hospital, while occupation artillery shelled the fifth floor of the building.

Similarly, the Emergency Relief Coordinator for Doctor's Without Borders, Donia Al-Dakheili, said that "nothing enters or exits" the Al-Awda Hospital for fear of the Israeli snipers who remain looming over the building from nearby rooftops.

Previously, the Israeli occupation army besieged Al-Awda Hospital for several days, during which, two staff members were killed while many others were arrested and detained.

Kamal Adwan Hospital is in similarly dire circumstances, coming under fire in recent days, forcing the evacuation of patients and staff, according to Dr. Hossam Abu Safia, the hospital's Director.

"Currently, the hospital is being evacuated of the wounded, patients, and medical staff... There are many patients that the medical teams were not able to evacuate," Dr. Safia said of the attacks, adding that "the reception and emergency gate at Kamal Adwan Hospital was subjected to artillery shelling" as the occupation army advanced towards the complex.

According to Rick Peppercorn, a representative with the WHO, the reception center in the Intensive Care Unit for Kamal Adwan Hospital was bombed by the IOF.

"At the moment, there are still 20 health staff members and 13 patients," Pepperkorn said, adding that Kamal Adwan and Al-Awda are "the only two hospitals that are still working, and we cannot afford for them to stop working."

Even while Gaza's healthcare system verges on collapse as supplies run thinner than ever before, the Israeli occupation forces continued the closure of the Rafah and Karm Abu Salem border crossings for the 16th consecutive day, blocking humanitarian and medical aid trucks, along with fuel, from entering Gaza.

According to press reporting, more than 3'000 aid trucks have been prevented from entering Gaza, along with preventing at least 700 sick and wounded Palestinians from leaving Gaza for treatment abroad during the period the two crossings have been closed.

Meanwhile, the bombardment of the Gaza Strip continues unabated as occupation bombing, shelling, drone and missile strikes continued to target civilian residences and infrastructure, resulting in dozens of casualties.

Local reporting stated that the Israeli occupation forces fired several artillery shells into civilian neighborhoods in the Tal al-Hawa area, southwest of Gaza City, while Israeli warplanes bombed a residential home belonging to the Abu Zaida family in the Al-Faluga neighborhood of Jabalia, in the northern Gaza Strip, killing 6 civilians and wounding 6 more.

In another atrocity, occupation fighter jets bombed a barracks in the vicinity of Terrence al-Baba, where displaced Palestinian families were sheltering from the war in the town of Al-Zawaida, in the central Gaza Strip, slaughtering at least 10 civilians, including an infant pulled from her mother's womb, and wounding a number of others.

Wounded civilians were transported to Al-Aqsa Martyrs Hospital in neighboring Deir al-Balah.

A similar assault targeted residential areas of the Al-Zaytoun neighborhood, southeast of Gaza City, martyring 2 Palestinians and wounding several others who were taken to the Baptist Hospital in the city.

Occupation artillery shelling also targeted the northern and southern neighborhoods of Gaza City, while neighborhoods east of the Nuseirat Camp also endured intense shelling.

At the same time, aircraft belonging to the Israeli occupation army bombed the Farhat family home in the Tal al-Sultan neighborhood, west of the city of Rafah, in the southern Gaza Strip, wounding several people who were transported to the Kuwait Specialized Hospital.

Additionally, occupation artillery forces renewed their shelling of central and eastern Rafah, and Israeli quadcopters opened fire on several areas of the Tal al-Sultan neighborhood. Meanwhile, Israeli fighter jets bombed civilian targets in residential neighborhoods of central Rafah.

Occupation gunboats also shelled Palestinian fishing boats off the coast of Rafah, after which, the gunboats opened fire on civilians who rushed to put out fires resulting from the shelling.

As a result of the Israeli occupation's ongoing special genocide operation in the Gaza Strip, the current death toll has risen once again, now exceeding 35'709 Palestinians killed, including upwards of 15'000 children and over 10'000 women, while another 79'990 others have been wounded since the start of the current round of Zionist aggression, beginning with the events of October 7th, 2023.

May 22nd, 2024.

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@WorkerSolidarityNews

[tossawary]

I think there are definitely a couple people at Cang Qiong who already know about Yue Qingyuan's Xuan Su Sword problem before the beginning of SVSSS. (Shen Qingqiu is not one of them.)

When I decided to write Mobei-Jun with chronic pain problems due to his family's method of power-gathering and the ascension ritual ("Servant to a Different King"), it was because I had been doing a lot of thinking about Yue Qingyuan's health and potential chronic pain problems (at the very least) due to having a sword that leaks his soul out or whatever the exact issue there is ("Sit With Your Soul").

I feel like it would be unrealistic if, after the initial incident, Qian Cao Peak wasn't consulted at all. I think that even if he felt secrecy was paramount to preserve the image of Qiong Ding (I don't think the sect's future was resting on Yue Qingyuan at this point, I think he was just a promising disciple), the previous Qiong Ding Lord would have consulted with the previous Qian Cao Lord at least once.

And since I like to imagine that Yue Qingyuan has ongoing issues and takes medication / receives treatment, then Mu Qingfang definitely knows. I don't think this would be too difficult to hide, behind meetings revolving around sect management and an apparent friendship between two peak lords. (I do think Yue Qingyuan was encouraged / forced to hide it in order to preserve appearances, and that his own instincts would have been to hide it regardless.) But I also imagine that there may be a small handful of elders and senior cultivators on Qian Cao who suspect that the sect leader is receiving check-ups / treatment for something, even if they don't know exactly what and know better than to gossip freely about it.

Personally, I like to imagine that Wei Qingwei also knows, as someone who can potentially consult with Mu Qingfang on spiritual swords. This would mean that the previous Wan Jian Lord probably also knew, unless MQF and YQY only reached out to WQW after their ascension. Some people on Wan Jian may also have suspicions, but it seems reasonable to me that most of them don't look further than, "Oh, the sect leader is simply seeking consultation on how to responsibly manage such a powerful sword. Drawbacks with spiritual weapons are quite common if you're not careful. That's very wise of him. Also, he and our peak lord are apparently just also good friends."

Yue Qingyuan being locked up in the caves for a year can be explained away as a privilege, training away in seclusion in order to master such a strong sword, and I think most people wouldn't think more of it. I think there would have been a few members of the sect in the wrong place at the wrong time, in order to see the Qiong Ding, Qian Cao, and Wan Jian Lords panicking about something, and that some people could match this up to the timeline of Yue Qingyuan's seclusion, but I also think anyone connecting these dots might just assume that the powerful Xuan Su Sword was unruly and dangerous at first, and the problem was quickly solved and has been solved for years. Some senior Qiong Ding cultivators might have known the initial problem, but they may not know that powerful sect leader Yue Qingyuan is still receiving treatment for this problem to this day. Only someone like Shang Qinghua, Airplane Bro, would immediately know what really went down there and know for sure that it's still a problem.

I don't think these peak lords are careless with this information. Mu Qingfang and Wei Qingwei know how to keep their mouths shut about having an injured sect leader, and Yue Qingyuan would be capable of keeping up a smile while he's bleeding out if he really needed to do that. But I think Yue Qingyuan's secret is especially compelling if there's potential for Shen Qingqiu to piece the information together, if he could look past his own self-loathing and resentment to search for another explanation, and start looking for all the little clues scattered across the sect in other people.

[aeth-eris]

★ book a reading ★ ★ masterlist 1 ★ ★ masterlist 2 ★

★ aquarius new moon | 1/29 | the collective ★

the aquarius new moon isn’t here to play nice. this energy is about shaking up the status quo and pushing the collective to think beyond traditional systems. globally, we’re seeing conversations around technology, governance, and community building take center stage. whether it’s discussions about AI regulation, grassroots movements for climate action, or the push for decentralized economies, this moon is amplifying the need for radical innovation and collaboration.

★ aquarius is all about progress, and the new moon is asking, “what’s your role in shaping the future?” we’re seeing countries debating policies on renewable energy, protests demanding corporate accountability, and an ongoing global dialogue about bridging the gap between economic inequality and technological advancements. this energy demands collective action, not passive hope.

★ aquarius energy can feel detached, and with the rapid pace of global events, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed or disconnected. burnout is real as the pressure to “fix everything” mounts. people might overthink global issues to the point of inaction, forgetting that small, local efforts also matter.

 ★ mercury conjunct pluto in aquarius: deep dives & accountability ★

this aspect is dragging skeletons out of closets on a collective scale. whistleblowers, investigative journalism, and public demand for transparency are at an all-time high. the truth is surfacing, and it’s making waves in politics, corporations, and social systems.

★ headlines are dominated by revelations of corruption, mismanagement, and systemic failure. governments are being forced to reckon with public dissatisfaction, whether it’s over healthcare policies, economic inequality, or environmental negligence. globally, movements for justice are gaining traction, and accountability is becoming non-negotiable.

★ this transit can lead to obsessive thinking and paranoia. conspiracy theories might gain traction, and the line between fact and fiction could blur. the collective needs to practice discernment and avoid sensationalist rabbit holes.

 ★ venus conjunct neptune in pisces: compassion meets disillusionment ★

with humanitarian crises escalating—ranging from climate disasters to the global refugee situation—this transit highlights the collective’s deep desire to help but also reveals the limitations of idealism.

★ empathy is at an all-time high, with people rallying to support those in need. relief efforts for climate-impacted regions and global calls for mental health reform reflect this compassionate energy. art, music, and storytelling are thriving, acting as outlets for processing collective grief and hope.

★ neptune’s influence can lead to escapism. some may turn a blind eye to crises, overwhelmed by their scale, while others might romanticize solutions without considering practical steps. idealistic movements need grounding to create lasting change.

 ★ mars retrograde in cancer: emotional recalibration ★

mars retrograde in cancer is hitting home—literally. with housing crises, inflation, and strained family dynamics, the collective is being forced to confront its relationship with security and stability.

★ expect heightened focus on housing reform and cost-of-living debates. family structures are also under scrutiny, with many reevaluating traditional roles and creating new dynamics of support. on an emotional level, people are prioritizing self-care and mental health, recognizing that rest is essential for resilience.

★ passive-aggressive behaviors and unresolved tensions are surfacing. political gridlock over economic relief measures could exacerbate frustrations, leading to protests or emotional burnout on both personal and collective levels.

 ★ uranus and saturn: rebuilding foundations ★

uranus in taurus and saturn in pisces are playing the long game, reshaping how we live, work, and interact with the planet. these planets are clashing with traditional institutions that resist change, creating friction but also opening pathways for innovation.

★ sustainable farming practices, renewable energy, and shifts in labor markets are key areas of focus. discussions about universal basic income and fair wages are gaining momentum as people demand equitable systems that prioritize well-being over exploitation.

★ resistance from traditional industries and governments may slow progress. tensions between rapid innovation and long-term stability could lead to economic uncertainty, with stock markets reflecting the push-and-pull of these forces.

 ★ what this means for the collective moving forward ★

★ the mercury-pluto conjunction signals a collective hunger for honesty and justice. expect more revelations about corruption and inequality, with public pressure forcing systemic reform. separating truth from sensationalism will remain a critical challenge.

★ venus and neptune are pushing the collective to lead with compassion. grassroots movements will shine, but there’s a need to balance hope with practical action to avoid burnout and disillusionment.

★ mars retrograde is forcing us to reconsider what emotional and physical security look like in a rapidly changing world. housing reform, mental health initiatives, and support for low-income communities will take center stage.

★ uranus and saturn remind us that progress doesn’t have to abandon tradition. expect debates over how to modernize without losing cultural roots or foundational structures.

 ★ collective prediction: the next few weeks ★

the collective is entering a period of profound recalibration. political systems will face increasing pressure to reform as public trust erodes. climate discussions will dominate global summits, with bold initiatives being proposed but met with skepticism about their feasibility. economic instability may spike as industries navigate the push for sustainability versus profit.

creativity and community will act as anchors during this turbulent time. grassroots movements, mutual aid efforts, and artistic expression will provide solace and inspiration. the collective is being called to dream boldly but also to ground those dreams in practical steps.

key takeaway: this is a time for resilience and intentional action. the cosmos is asking us to hold leaders accountable, nurture our communities, and embrace change without fear. while the challenges are great, the potential for transformation is even greater.

★ book a reading ★ ★ masterlist 1 ★ ★ masterlist 2 ★

[gluion]

there have been many discussions surrounding the boycott of riize that i think there's no harm in sharing my two cents on this issue.

seunghan’s removal from riize speaks a lot about the state of the kpop industry, from the constant accommodation to fans' parasocialism to a lack of mental health protection for kpop idols. idols are being treated as commodities versus real people. we’ve seen it in newjeans’ situation, seungkwan’s instagram post, the starlight boys mission, and anecdotes from other idols.

what happens in the behind-the-scenes of the kpop industry is generally not common knowledge, but as more idols continue to speak up about mistreatment, it’s clear to see such a capitalistic industry does nothing but service management more than the idols themselves.

with that, i think it’s important that we don’t forget the purpose of the boycott. while it does have aims to bring seunghan back, i think it also speaks up against the lack of protection idols have.

still in doubt? well, i thought i could take some time to offer a different perspective on some common reasons people don't believe in the boycott.

"seunghan made the decision to leave the group."

it's not enough to take the statement at face value because you wouldn't be considering the context of the situation. seunghan left because of all the backlash he received. i wish more people recognized the reason why he made that decision. ultimately, the circumstances/situation cornered him to make that decision—and it shows the lack of protection that SM has over their artists. and you have to recognize that seunghan, although he's 21 years old, is a rookie artist. this is his first time as an idol, and to receive all that backlash after being relatively fresh from debut are waters he has never navigated.

"oh, the boycott won't work. SM is a big company."

everyone knows of SM’s status. the purpose of a boycott is to put pressure on them in light of seunghan’s removal. after all, the boycott is happening because people recognize a deeper issue that reflects the kpop industry: a lack of protection for their own artists. there is a long, ongoing history of boycotting and its success. boycotting is not instant. it will take time like any other boycott. this initiative aims to put pressure on SM to reevaluate their actions and current protocols in handling defamation of their own artists, especially rookie ones.

"let's just support the boys as they are now."

i understand that most people think it's better to support them as who they are now, but i would like for you guys to remember back to the reason why people are boycotting in the first place. the group fought for seunghan's comeback and it would be understandable for them to be stressed out by this whole situation. you can still support the current members while still holding SM accountable through a boycott. how? letters is always a start. weverse exists to help send your messages to artists. after all, we know how much riize would prefer to read your thoughtful and comforting words, especially now.

i would like to reiterate that boycotting doesn't translate in hate for riize but an initiative to put pressure on SM. people have reasons of why they chose to unstan riize due to how split the current fandom is between ot6s and ot7s. when a subgroup in a fandom manages to push for the removal of a member, it's hard to feel safe in such a space. however, instead of wasting your time trying to fight seunghan antis, you can find more ways to support the boycott and offer your own perspectives on why you support it.

i wish more people realized and reconsidered why multiple kpop fans from across different fandoms are united about this issue. as always, please reconsider if you aren't participating in the boycott!

resources:

boycott sm by @hanibani-world

boycott plans as international briize by @seoktized

BOYCOTT RIIZE with petition by @axibani

google drive of riize content sorry for the mention to these accounts! — thank you again for your posts <3

[abyssalzones]

C-PTSD as a diagnosis makes so much sense for Ford because he really does fit almost all of the criteria, ESPECIALLY if you take the stuff in J3 into account in conjunction with his traumatic childhood (bullying, bad dad, etc.). It just makes sense in regards to his motivations and his issues with interpersonal relationships (like with Stan). Also buring yourself in your work (like he does) is a very common 'flight' coping mechanism to trauma in adults

I'm smiling like this right now

ford's whole.... mental health deal is extremely interesting to examine because Oh my god this man is the textbook image for "reacting to ongoing, continuous trauma". intentional or otherwise (I'm inclined to believe it's both).

like. okay hang on I'm about to get very in depth with it

I feel like there's no way this entire guy's life and in some ways his lasting identity haven't been defined by and constructed around various forms of trauma, maybe the most obvious and true-to-canon-intent being peer abuse/bullying from childhood. a lot of people downplay the impact of this type of abuse but it's... responsible for a lot of social ills in shocking ways. (if you're more interested in this topic here is an article my friend mer linked me a while back, it gets into it very deeply)

(a lot of this is going to be sourced from the wikipedia page for CPTSD [and my own experience Living with it] which I realize isn't very professional of me but Whatever this is tumblr)

one of the core tenets of ford's personality is that he's Different. he owns it, sure- his six fingers become a point of pride rather than something to be ashamed of- but they make it extremely clear that from a young age he associated being different with being a social pariah. ford's generation was characterized by notoriously cruel bullying, and anything that remotely made you stand out rendered you a target. ford could've been bullied for being nerdy and jewish (and failing to perform socially, ie dating) alone, having such an obvious mutation definitely was not winning him any points.

so it's honestly no surprise, when from childhood ford feels like he has One person in the world to trust and confide in, that he would go on to form very unhealthy attachment patterns typical of CPTSD. as you elaborated on regarding AvPD (which I know far less about but seems to have comorbidity with CPTSD): if you're hard-wired to believe socializing with others results in failure or betrayal, then you're not going to make an effort. but what does end up happening is that you're going to pour all of your trust and dependency into one person at a time, one person who is "safe".

previously, that was his brother. and it's not really hard to draw the conclusion from there that fiddleford was a subject of ford's attachment style, considering he was his One friend from college, and... one of Maybe two people ford is friends with at all who he isn't related to. he cites him as the only person he can possibly trust to work on the portal project alongside him, and he still can't bring himself to tell him the full truth, because he's terrified of losing him. I love their dynamic (I do think they were mutual best friends, and there was no small amount of trust reciprocated between them. "fiddleford was weird as hell too" is something I keep coming back to) and I don't think it's built on entirely unhealthy terms, but that kind of pressure is... setting things up to crash and burn.

enter bill stage left. back to "continuous yearning to be liked and accepted"- this guy knew that and made every effort to prey on ford's insecurities to reel him in as close as possible. this is what really pisses me off about the idea that bill was just "inflating ford's ego", because it's way, way more insidious than that. throughout the entirety of journal 3 we see ford reintroduce someone to his life he has a very positive relationship with (fiddleford) and how that trust gets gradually broken down by bill's influence "winning out" over their friendship. I think it's safe to say ford was already vulnerable: from the start, he'd been isolated in his research for six years (and it's unclear for how long he'd known bill by 1982), and bill proved time and time again to be someone who wouldn't judge him, someone who would praise him for his hard work, and perhaps most critically, make him feel like being different was something special.

like that's... that's really not good!!!! and that kind of thing works wonders on someone who has already settled with the idea that they're inclined to be alone just by design.

trying to put a cap on this. in relationships like the one he's had with his brother or fiddleford it doesn't even necessarily have to be ""toxic"" (vague term anyway) or outwardly bad to be built on unhealthy attachment patterns, and considering for a good chunk of ford's life his attachment to others can be characterized as "I can only trust ONE person at a time" it feels essential to any discussion of his CPTSD or canon trust issues. That is something that happens a lot in Real cases of CPTSD (hi) and only further snowballs into More trauma by leaving you vulnerable to manipulation and abuse (see: bill.)

I've been going on for way too long now and I feel like I've only scratched the surface of the thing I wanted to elaborate on sorry. that post traumatic stress disorder can complex

[darkmaga-returns]

A far-left progressive Democrat Rep. Pramila Jayapal (D-WA) has been caught blatantly lying about the status of thousands of migrant children who have gone missing.

A damning Office of Inspector General report in August found that Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) was unable to find 32,000 migrant children.

The children were released into the care of the Biden-Harris administration’s Health and Human Services (HHS).

HHS is responsible for supervising unaccompanied migrant children.

“[ICE] could not monitor the location and status of all unaccompanied migrant children (UCs) or initiate removal proceedings as needed,” the OIG report stated.

“During our ongoing audit to assess ICE’s ability to monitor the location and status of UCs who were released or transferred from the custody of [DHS] and [HHS], we learned ICE transferred more than 448,000 UCs to HHS from fiscal years 2019 to 2023.”

“However, ICE was not able to account for the location of all UCs who were released by HHS and did not appear as scheduled in immigration court,” the report added.

“ICE reported more than 32,000 UCs failed to appear for their immigration court hearings from FYs 2019 to 2023.”

While the children went missing between 2019 and 2023 – a period including both the Trump and Biden administrations – the permissive border policies of the Biden-Harris presidency have exacerbated the issue by enabling human traffickers to exploit children.

[twopoppies]

Hiya, just read this about Lorde & cancelling tours. Seems like it’s more common than I thought?

https://www.nme.com/news/music/lorde-addresses-economic-realities-of-touring-things-are-at-an-almost-unprecedented-level-of-difficulty-3347062

Oh, that’s such an interesting article. Thank you so much for sending it. It does a really good job of laying out the myriad complication involved in staging a tour these days.

“Basically, for artists, promoters and crews, things are at an almost unprecedented level of difficulty,” Lorde wrote in her letter, citing factors like “three years’ worth of shows” occurring simultaneously, global economic downturn, and concertgoers’ “totally understandable wariness” around health risks.

She went on to acknowledge logistical factors such as widespread crew shortages, linking to an article from New Zealand news outlet Stuff about the issue. “Extremely overbooked trucks and tour buses and venues, inflated flight and accommodation costs, ongoing general COVID costs, and truly mindboggling freight costs” were also listed as factors.

“To freight a stage set across the world can cost up to three times the pre-pandemic price right now. I don’t know shit about money, but I know enough to understand that no industry has a profit margin that high,” Lorde continued.

“Ticket prices would have to increase to start accommodating even a little of this, but absolutely no one wants to charge their harried and extremely-compassionate-and-flexible audience any more fucking money.

“Nearly every tour has been besieged with cancellations and postponements and promises and letdowns, and audiences have shown such understanding and such faith, that between that and the post-COVID wariness about getting out there at all, scaring people away by charging the true cost ain’t an option. All we want to do is play for you.”

Lorde went on to say that she’s lucky because profits being down across the board doesn’t pose an issue for an artist of her stature, but touring has become a “demented struggle to break even or face debt” for artists selling less tickets than her – which in some cases, can make touring prohibitive altogether.

[…]

She continued: “I wanted to put all of this in your minds to illustrate that nothing’s simple when it comes to touring at the moment, and if your faves are confusing you with their erratic moves, some of this could be playing a part.”

Full article here

[historyforfuture]

⭕️ Press Release Issued by the Government Media Office:

⭕ The "Israeli" occupation and the U.S. administration are explicitly using starvation and food deprivation policies against civilians in Gaza as a means of political pressure. This is considered a war crime and a crime against humanity

The Government Media Office condemns the use of starvation and food deprivation by the "Israeli" occupation forces and the U.S. administration against civilians, including children and women in Gaza, as a political pressure tool. This was explicitly stated by U.S. President Biden and his Secretary of State, Blinken, who mentioned in recent hours that the quickest way to deliver humanitarian aid to Gaza is to reach a ceasefire agreement.

We completely reject linking the provision of aid and food to civilians, children, and women to the decision of a ceasefire, which the "Israeli" occupation forces have refused to implement for many months. We consider linking these two issues a blatant crime that requires condemnation from the international community, international organizations, and all free nations.

For 105 days, the "Israeli" occupation forces, with U.S. approval, have continued to close the Rafah border crossing between Palestine and Egypt after burning, bulldozing, and rendering it inoperative. This is part of orchestrating a genocide against civilians in Gaza, exacerbating the humanitarian disaster in unprecedented ways, in violation of international law, international humanitarian law, and all international agreements.

The crime of blocking the entry of all types of aid, medical supplies, health delegations, and medicine significantly worsens the health and humanitarian crisis.

We strongly condemn the use of starvation and food deprivation by the "Israeli" occupation and the U.S. administration as a political pressure tool against civilians and children in Gaza. We also condemn their closure of the Rafah border crossing between Palestine and Egypt. We call on the international community and all nations to denounce these two crimes that violate international law.

We hold the "Israeli" occupation and the U.S. administration fully responsible for the catastrophic consequences of their use of starvation and food deprivation as weapons against civilians in Gaza, as well as their closure of the Rafah crossing and prevention of medical supplies and health delegations from entering. We hold them accountable for the ongoing humanitarian disaster, now in its eleventh month.

We call on the international community, all international and humanitarian organizations, and all free nations to pressure the "Israeli" occupation and the U.S. administration to stop the genocide and cease using starvation and food deprivation as political pressure tools. We also demand that they pressure for the reopening of the Rafah border crossing and an end to this severe humanitarian catastrophe.

20,Aug 2024 Official website -Hamas movement

[covid-safer-hotties]

Pain emerges as dominant symptom in long Covid, UCL study reveals - Published Aug 28, 2024

Pain may be the most prevalent and severe symptom reported by individuals with long Covid, according to a new study led by UCL (University College London) researchers.

The study, published in JRSM Open, analysed data from over 1,000 people in England and Wales who logged their symptoms on an app between November 2020 and March 2022.

Pain, including headache, joint pain and stomach pain, was the most common symptom, reported by 26.5% of participants.

The other most common symptoms were neuropsychological issues such as anxiety and depression (18.4%), fatigue (14.3%), and dyspnoea (shortness of breath) (7.4%). The analysis found that the intensity of symptoms, particularly pain, increased by 3.3% on average each month since initial registration.

The study also examined the impact of demographic factors on the severity of symptoms, revealing significant disparities among different groups. Older individuals were found to experience much higher symptom intensity, with those aged 68-77 reporting 32.8% more severe symptoms, and those aged 78-87 experiencing an 86% increase in symptom intensity compared to the 18-27 age group.

Gender differences were also pronounced, with women reporting 9.2% more intense symptoms, including pain, than men. Ethnicity further influenced symptom severity, as non-white individuals with long Covid reported 23.5% more intense symptoms, including pain, compared to white individuals.

The study also explored the relationship between education levels and symptom severity. Individuals with higher education qualifications (NVQ level 3, 4, and 5 – equivalent to A-levels or higher education) experienced significantly less severe symptoms, including pain, with reductions of 27.7%, 62.8%, and 44.7% for NVQ levels 3, 4 and 5 respectively, compared to those with lower education levels (NVQ level 1-2 – equivalent to GCSEs).

Socioeconomic status, as measured by the Index of Multiple Deprivation (IMD), also influenced symptom intensity. Participants from less deprived areas reported less intense symptoms than those from the most deprived areas. However, the number of symptoms did not significantly vary with socioeconomic status, suggesting that while deprivation may exacerbate symptom intensity, it does not necessarily lead to a broader range of symptoms.

Our study highlights pain as a predominant self-reported symptom in long Covid, but it also shows how demographic factors appear to play a significant role in symptom severity.

With ongoing occurrences of Covid-19 (e.g., LB.1, or D-FLiRT variants), the potential for more long Covid cases remains a pressing concern. Our findings can help shape targeted interventions and support strategies for those most at risk."

-Dr. David Sunkersing, Lead Author, UCL Institute of Health Informatics

In the paper, the researchers called for sustained support for long Covid clinics and the development of treatment strategies that prioritize pain management, alongside other prevalent symptoms like neuropsychological issues and fatigue.

Given the significant impact of demographic factors on symptom severity, the study underscored the need for healthcare policies that addressed these disparities, ensuring equitable care for all individuals affected by long Covid, the researchers said.

Study limitations included a lack of information on other health conditions participants may have had and a lack of information about health history. The researchers cautioned that the study may have excluded individuals with very severe Covid and those facing technological or socioeconomic barriers in accessing a smartphone app.

The study was led by the UCL Institute of Health Informatics and the Department of Primary Care and Population Health at UCL in collaboration with the software developer, Living With Ltd.

Source: University College London

Journal reference: Sunkersing, D., et al. (2024) Long COVID symptoms and demographic associations: A retrospective case series study using healthcare application data. Materials Today. doi.org/10.1177/20542704241274292. journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/20542704241274292