#better than drugs almost

[inevitablestars]

i have this playlist that's all songs that have moon in the title and i get so excited and giddy for a second when i find a new one to add

[cuubism]

At long last rewatched all the Dreamling scenes (it's been... a year) and now I'm so salty about how Dream treated Hob in 1589. Just because not everyone likes wallowing in suffering doesn't mean you have to be a dickhead to them, Dream. If there's any version of Hob who deserves to be treated in such a way, it's 1789 Hob. 1589 Hob is just happy and enthusiastic, which, yeah, very offensive to Dream and all. Dream started it, being all judgemental last time like 'well what have you been DOING all this time' 😒. I don't even think this Hob comes across as that arrogant, self-satisfied maybe but it's mostly in a genuinely enthusiastic way. I don't even think he's really trying to brag in a superior way, he just wants DREAM'S approval specifically, he's like look look I did something with the gift! He talks about his family with genuine affection. The way he talks about his knighthood makes me laugh, it's not bragging, its more like "do you see this shit? They're just handing out knighthoods to any idiot with enough money. Isn't that hilarious?" A private little joke, really. And Dream had to be a dick about it... sigh. Justice for 1589 Hob. Dream should go be a dickhead to Hob in 1789 if he really wants someone to snipe at, and be kinder to 1589 Hob, who's basically a puppy that just wants to be patted on the head. That's all.

[s0fter-sin]

it’s the sound that tips him off.

it’s late, half-past hell by his last count, and mactavish knows there shouldn’t be a single soul in the showers this time of night. though he’s sure if he asked, he’d be told a soul isn’t in there.

just a ghost.

he almost chokes on the thick steam filling the locker room; humid and hazy and the perfect cover. or it would be, if the man collapsed in the far stall cared about hiding.

mactavish hates himself a little for the low sigh that falls from his lips. he wishes he wasn't so disappointed; that the promises he's heard over and over and watched be broken as many times hadn't wedged their way into his heart and convinced him that maybe, maybe this could be the time it sticks.

he doesn't know what's worse; the disappointment or the lack of surprise.

he holds his breath through the steam and leans over the limp body; stinging hot water hitting his back, instantly soaking through his clothes and already starting to burn. he flicks the tap enough to take the bulk of the heat out and straightens; a groan startling out of the man beneath him at the sudden lash of tepid water.

mactavish crouches, knees clicking and hooks a hand under his bicep to pull him up straight against the wall. if there was any vomit on his skin, it's been washed away by the pelting stream and he supposes he can count himself lucky for that. he tilts his limp head back and slips his fingers into his mouth; holding down his tongue and ignores the way it lazily jolts under his fingers to check his airway.

clear.

another small victory.

mactavish pulls his fingers out and cups his chin, keeping him tilted up and moves in the way of the water again so he can pull at his eyelid.

the eye he's met with is cloudy, so dilated there's hardly a ring of blue left.

he sighs again; hand falling away and letting his eye fall shut. "god damnit, riley."

riley moans, all his weight resting on the hand holding his jaw.

"aye, 'm talking ‘bout you," he grunts tiredly.

he lets riley's head fall forward to grab his arm, pulling him away from the wall to sit behind him; propping his body up against his chest. he leans his head back over his shoulder, keeping his face out of the water and his airway open just in case he hasn't actually finished throwing up.

he takes the rag riley'd half-managed to soap up and mechanically runs it over him; cataloguing new bruises and cuts and checking if the old ones are healing. sickly yellow fingerprints ring his hips, red splotches paint his ribs; too new to have settled into the deep purple he knows they’ll become.

riley slowly makes more noise as he rubs life into his body; still lying limp against his front but his head's starting to roll restlessly on his shoulder. he swipes between his legs and carefully doesn't think a single thing about what he finds.

"sean?" he rasps and mactavish's hand stills; eyes falling shut. he bites his check, hand clenching around the rag tight enough to shake and breathes hard out his nose.

he doesn't say a word, just forces himself to go back to cleaning.

he's not sure what would come out of his mouth if he did.

riley isn't conscious enough to hear him anyway.

he runs his fingers over his inner elbows for tracks and manages to muster some relief when he doesn't find any. seems to be a pill and booze night; far from the worst condition he's found him in.

he rinses him off, running a curtesy hand over his shaved head only for it to fall back to his jaw; his thumb stroking over the thick scar carved into his cheek.

"you gotta stop doin' this," he whispers.

he isn’t sure if he’s talking to riley or himself.

mactavish gathers up riley's too-light body into his arms and turns off the shower. his head lolls into his throat and he throws a towel over his dripping body and another over his shoulder. it doesn't stop him from tracking water all the way to his quarters but he'd like to see someone try to put in a complaint about it.

he lays out the other towel on the bed and sets riley down; moving his body into the recovery position in an all-too familiar routine. he dries him enough that he won't soak the covers as he pulls them up to his chest and kicks the waste bin within grabbing distance of the bed.

he goes to pull off his sodden clothes when a different noise makes him freeze.

a low sniffle.

mactavish slowly turns back to the bed to find riley's eyes squinting open; glazed with tears as he kneads at the covers.

he stares at him for a moment as he looks around the room and those hazy eyes lock on him for the first time. "cap'n?"

he swallows. "aye; s'just me, riley."

his hand pokes out from under the covers and for all the promises he's made himself - all the “never again”s and “this is the last time”s - at the end of the day, he's weak.

he sits on the side of the bed and takes riley's hand in his; already so cold after nearly boiling himself alive.

"y' mad a' me?" he sniffs.

mactavish runs his tongue over his lip and slowly shakes his head. "no, i'm not mad at you."

"prom'se?" he pushes.

he reaches out and caresses his temple with his thumb. his hand almost covers his head and it cuts like a knife to remember just how small riley is. "aye," he says, hushed. "i promise."

riley's eyes fall shut, voicelessly murmuring 'promise’ to himself over and over.

"I’ll ge’ bett'r," he slurs and between one breath and the next, he's out.

mactavish sighs, running his hand in a final pass over his head and stares at a face that looks so much younger in sleep; bruised and sallow skin hidden in the shadows. "i know you will."

he presses a slow kiss to his forehead, shutting his eyes against the grief that wells in his heart and gets up to pull a chair over to the bed; settling in for another long night's vigil of watching his broken lieutenant sleep, ready to tilt him over if he throws up, eyes locked on the slow rise and fall of his chest fearing tonight may finally be the time it stops.

[strawbebbiesart]

201km 🏘️💕🚌

[rockoblanco]

been sober for 5 weeks today, & in a lot of ways my quality of life has greatly increased. but one thing ive never rlly heard spoken abt when it comes to sobriety is how u literally have to learn how to feel again. just a really bizarre & strange transitory period !!!

[creativity-deficient]

Soooo what are y’all’s hcs on the Tweak family 🤔🤔🤔

[thebleedingeffect]

.

[thatoneluckybee]

begging one character to think through their actions PLEASE

[truegoist]

bro why is my chem teacher one of those free healthcare is bad fuckers

[vampyroteuthid]

one thing i do not understand is people who are resistant to taking modern medicine in general but particularly for everyday pains like a headache or allergies. sorry but i loooove chemicals and vaccines and drugs and if you want to suffer through springtime allergies or a headache because you "want your body to figure it out on its own" (?) i won't bother you about it but i will be over here snacking on excedrin and begging moderna for another covid booster 👍🏻

[zosonils]

honestly at the point where i'm considering spending money on flight rising but i'm very very hesitant to let myself get into the habit of In App Purchases even in a game that's not particularly predatory about it

[troonwolf]

also hate to break this to the Americans but it’s actually really pathetic and dumb when y’all call other countries “colonisers” when those countries haven’t colonised anything in 100+ yrs but the country actively colonising other nations right now is you guys. you just look stupid :|

[tinylittlebab]

oh how i missed this

[soggypotatoes]

I'm so obsessed with candles I'm gonna be that tweet of the guy spending thousands on candles in a minute

[4typercent]

this

This

THIS

Yell it for those in the back!!

underconsumption being called a trend now…… mf that’s just how normal sane people live

[cherrysnax]

Jays been back for a few months because something Bad happened but I kinda miss our relationship before he tried to like. implode all of my irl relationships. that’s kinda how it always is though