#this literally happens so infrequently and unpredictably

[always-a-slut-4-ghouls]

Damn, my history of taste in irl men is questionable at best, but at least the girls seem pretty normal???

[bow-woahh]

Spop Fic recs (Catradora)

(finally)

Hello Catradora trash can's today I finally give you what I've been promising for MONTHS - a fanfic rec list. Because, if you didn't already know, I read A LOT of Catradora fanfic, probably too much and although I'm definitely not the best judge of...anything, I really wanted to make this post, so here it is, weeks late.

(it's a long one though)

I’ve written my full opinions n shit on like the first 10 multi chapters and one shots because there’s a lot lol, and some I remember better than others (tbf I've re read all of them at this point), but yeahhh. For the others, I’ll describe it in less detail and a bit more jokily lol.

I'm sorry I haven't just linked all the fics bit I just want this to be out of my drafts loll, and I can assure you most of these are pretty easy to find, I apologise for the laziness though haha

Also I’ve tried to find the all the authors tumblr or other social media, but I couldn’t for all of them which sucks, so if you happen to be the author and I left you out, please comment :)

Anyway, Y'ALL NEED TO GET ON MY LEVEL SOOO WITHOUT FURTHER ADO HERE YOU GO:

(here's a key first)

Key:

(o) = ongoing

(f) = finished

[G]=General

[T] =Teen and up Audiences

[M]=Mature

[E]=Explicit

Multi-chapters:

1. Upper West Side by ceruleanstorm (o) 100,000+ words

@princessofgayskull

[Modern AU] [T]

This fic is so amazing!! It goes so deep into their psychology and past and damn is it hilarious at time. Also, I love the premise of it - Catra is a Uber driver and Adora ends up as her passenger. It's a fairly slowburn as it goes deep into the two girls' lives and really gives time for the relationship to develop naturally and that is honestly really appreciated because it makes the good moments between the two even better and more rewarding if I'm honest. A lot of angst though. All the other characters we know and love are also written amazingly in it too, and are made equally important. All in all, I love this fic and everything about it!

As of writing it has fairly infrequent updates, but each chapter is 10-20k+ words and has 9/12 chapters so...there’s a lot.

2. For my Sake by doublepasse (f) 100,000+ words

@doublepasse-writes

[Canon Compliant][E]

The story and world building is just - WOAH. This one is quite the slowburn but boy is it worth it. It's set a couple months to a year after season one, where Catra finally captures Adora but the tables turn very quickly when capturing her nearly results in her death, which Catra (unsurprisingly) didn’t want. The story has some BIG plot twists and is definitely one of the best canon universe Catradora fics I’ve ever read and the ending was very satisfying, but also open ended, BECAUSE there’s a part 2 coming and I couldn’t be more excited!

(Also, there is one chapter with nsfw content in it, but it has a sfw version)

3. Skinny Love by Maychup (o) 89,000+ words

@maychup

[Canon Compliant][M]

Another amazing fic that takes place in the canon universe that has such great world building, and is very plot heavy. It takes place days after the S1 finale and goes from there basically. The premise of it is similar to many fics and one shots you’ve probably read - sleeping with the enemy. From the first chapter it seemed like it could have easily been a five chapter easy redemption fic but nooooooo, it goes a lot LOT deeper. I feel like this fic did such a great job on character development, Catra’s specifically, she grows so much throughout the fic. She is also such a mother to all her Horde pals in this and I love that haha.

At the time of writing, it’s still ongoing, and boy am I excited to see where it goes. It’s also super angsty and has a fair-ish amount of smut so be warned!

4. The Heiress and The thief by Fuhadeza (f) 58,000+ words

@fuhadeza

[Regency AU][M]

As it says in the fic summary, it is literally the She-Ra regency AU I never knew I wanted likeeee, it’s so good! Premise - Adora is taken by Lady Brightmoon, leaving her boarding school, and her best friend behind, Catra, and everything is fine until her old friend face resurfaces. This one had me screaming at times (most of them did, but this especially). It was a really enjoyable read and I honestly loved the way the author dealt with love and the way Adora dealt with her feelings and just ahhh- read it.

5. Faded with feelings by yesimgay (f) 24,000+ words

[Roomates AU][T]

This fic. I read this a WHILEEE ago but to this day this is one of my favourite fan-fics ever like it’s hilarious, and fluffy and unproblematic and sometimes you need that tbh. Everything you need to know is established in the first chapter but the way it is done feels so natural, as if it’s just Adora‘s or Catra’s thoughts and I love it. Also the premise is GREAT - Catra has ADHD and smokes weed to help with it, and Adora accidentally takes an edible, which is when shenanigans start to ensue.

6. Dream of Me by DBsean (f) 18,000+ words

[Canon Universe][T]

Although it is on the shorter side with only five chapters, this was another fic that was so so good in quality and premise. For whatever reason, Catra and Adora start sharing dreams, enabling them to share moments together that they (unfortunately) can't have in real life, due to them being on opposite sides of the war, and in turn - enemies. The angst in this fic literally KILLED ME, and the characters dialogue is so good as well! I also recommend you check out some of the authors other fics, they're all great!

7. we've been making shades of purple out of red and blue by darklady21(o) 19,000+ words

[Roomates AU][M]

Another Roomates AU, bUT instead of being best friends, the two barely know each other, or interact at all...GREAT RIGHT?!? Honestly though, I think the author did a great job in making it not seem too rushed, especially in the setup and establishing how although they know each other, they DONT know each other, so the first couple chapters are basically that stage where they are learning more about each other and leaving stupid post it notes around the house, and it just feels so natural and great! Updates aren’t super regular, but there’s already nine chapters (as of writing) so definitely check it out, as well as their other works too!

8. Razorback by Starr_Reborn(o) 22,000+ words

[Canon Divergence AU][M]

Apparently, the author wrote this with the intent of it being fluffy. From the title you can tell that is NOT the case. At all. This one HURTS. This is very very angsty, and also has some themes of rape in it, so if that kinda thing triggers you I might wanna skip out on this one. It is a really good fic though and stands out from a lot of the others because of the way it is written. Chapters aren’t usually longer that 1000 words and the writing style is quite disjointed at times, and it a lot of the time a stream of consciousness. At times it can even be a little confusing or hard to follow, but I find it makes it even more interesting, and also means it will probably be a fic I come back to once completed. It is genuinely so unpredictable, I have no clue where it’s going, but I really love it for that!

9. Sunflower by TechnoSkittles (f) 6000+ words

@technoskittles

[High School AU][G]

Oh, BOY. Oh boyyy. This fic - it's 8 chapters and only 6000 words yet the story is just- Ahhh READ IT. It's so good! And like the author in general is so amazing at writing like check out all their works (especially their latest one shot omg I loved it). Anyway, read this, it's not too long, it's cute and also genuinely surprising, the ending was not something I saw coming AT ALL, so YEAH!

10. I like me better when I'm with you by lesbians_harold(f) 22,000+ words

@lesbians-harold

[High School AU][T]

Just a nice, fun, fluffy high school, friends to lovers AU. Catra moves to Adora’s school senior year and the twos friendship is quickly rekindled, after a rocky start albeit. Adora is a big ol’ jock and Catra draws which is a headcanon I LOVE. It’s written so well, and the characters are also written well too! It is a lil angsty at times, but not to worry - but it does pay off, I assure you.

11. I thought we were best friends by vanilla107 (o) 45,000+ words

@vanilla107

[University AU][T]

Breakups. Lots of breakups, and angst. This one will mend your heart then hurt you. BE SCARED. But go read it. I mean it. It's good!

12. Dirty Dancing by LilLegalLoli94 (o) 9000+ words

@lillegalloli94

[Dancing AU][M]

Basically lots of (sexual) tension after years of not seeing each other because Adora moved to Brightmoon Dance Academy. It's good. Real good.

13. Back to Black by eveynull (f) 6000+ words

[Canon Universe][T]

(Post War) Gays go and visit their past, staring angst, and featuring your favourite co-star - fluff!

14. how things are supposed to be by maggiesbombshell (o) 11,000+ words

@yeunslegacy

[High School AU][M]

A jolly slowburn that will hurt your soul because (internalised) homophobia and gay.

15. Some things you don't see coming by Trashibesensei (o) 20,000+ words

[High School AU][T]

Adora being a big ol' jock, and Catra being a big ol' gay. I’m not even gonna explain it, you have to find that out yourself.

16. A quarter after three by Maychup (o) 11,000+ words

@maychup

[Youtuber AU][M]

Adora's gay panic settles in when she bumps into her childhood bestie, Catra, live streaming in the streets of LA. My favourite part of this fic has to be the YouTube comments she gets. This one will make you laugh. And go AWWW CUTE.

17. A Song to My Heart by DemiRebel (f) 8000+ words

[Neighbors AU][G]

The cute girl next door keeps singing loud, and it sounds BELLE, so what else would you do other than creepily listen?? 10/10 for premise.

18. Occupied by Nny11 4000+ words

@nny11writes

[Modern AU][T]

The most hilarious soulmate AU I've read tbh. One word - bathrooms.

19. Whispering Dreams by dragonesdepapel (f) 7400+ words

[Canon Universe][T]

Adora finds a wounded and sick gay so obviously, she helps her out, much to her protesting. This fic will honestly make you go through the five stages of grief. Big ol' oof.

20. Why you SHOULD bring in your untrained cat to the rebellion by locuas (f) 6800+ words

[Canon Divergence AU][G]

This fic is a literal joke. But it will probably be the best crack you will ever read, so. READ IT.

ALSO HERES A LIL SELF PWOMO OF MY MULTI CHAP:

What drove her insane, 13,000+ words (f)

One shots:

1. hang tight (all you) by TechnoSkittles 9000+ words

@technoskittles

[High School AU][T]

This is a fic that will break your heart and mend it. It's about Adora coming to terms with her sexuality throughout high school in a pretty unsupportive environment, added onto the fact she has a crush on her best friend. It's paced so well, nothing feels rushed and although it's only 9000 words, it manages to flesh out characters that aren't even in the show, and it obviously does a great job with the topic at hand - sexuality and homophobia. Like it honestly touched my heart, reading it I genuinely wanted to cry. I loved everything about it, from the moment it started to the last line. It's just written in a way that is probably relatable to so many people who are or have struggled with coming to terms with themselves, and shows how for some it's really not an easy thing. It's also written beautifully, and I PROMISE you won't regret reading this! Definitely check out some more of their works too, they're all great reads!

2. you're my favorite song (and it's stuck in my head) by artemiswords 16,000+ words

@artemisbye 

[High School AU][T]

A belle valentine's day fan fic which I just,, ahhhhh this is some of the best 16k words I've ever read, it's so nice and fluffy! Premise - Catra has to take the bus to school, and ends up sitting next to this cute girl on the bus, Adora, and listening to TayTay (Swift), sharing earphones with this complete stranger. Obviously, Catra develops a crush, but she is sure Adora is straight. It's written so well, and is such an enjoyable read, with so many great moments and dialogue. Music is a very prevalent theme (which you can tell from the name tbh) in it, and the amount of song references in it also make it feel so fleshed out in a way, like their both just teenagers with somewhat questionable music taste. Just all the exchanges they have are great, especially the ones over text and social media, there were so many funny moments too. DEFO, recommend if you wanna read something nice and lighthearted!

3. The Interlude That Never Ends by FMLClexa 2000+ words

Twitter: catrxs

[Historical AU] [M]

Angst. Quite angsty. But also fairly fluffy, it has a good balance. And the writing style is just so - it gets your heart wrenching despite being fairly short, and is also very poetic, and I don't know about you, but I love things like that! The fic is a historical/soulmates AU where they are bound to fall in love, no matter the period they're reincarnated in. It's one of the most creative fic ideas I've ever read, and the concept is executed so well, which makes it even better. And it's, so so damn sweet ahh, read it read it READ IT!

4.  is there a knife in your bed or are you just happy to see me? by ceruleanstorm 6000+ words

@princessofgayskull

[Canon Universe][T]

This fic was everythinggg, it is so cute, like it’s basically 6k words of fluff! Also, if you didn’t already notice, the title (and the fic) heavily references the fact Adora keeps a knife under her bed (I DIED when that happened in s2).  Set post war, Catra sneaks away from her post to visit an overworked and stressed Adora in Bright Moon and cuteness ensues. I honestly just love everything about this fic, we need more fluffy and funny fics like this! The dynamic the two have in this is perfect and the dialogue and general writing style of it is great! And Adora’s internal dialogue in this honest to god had me dead. Needless to say this is one of my fav Canon Universe one shots.

5.Girl’s Become Lovers (Who Turn Into Mothers) by A_Zap 2000+ words

@azapofinspiration

[Canon Universe][G]

This has to be one of the cutest, well written, fic I’ve read! Catra brings home the only survivors from a tragedy her and Scorpia stumbled upon, but one thing Adora doesn’t expect is for them to be children. The,, emotions in this are so raw and powerful. Even though they obviously have these new little people in their life though, their problems don’t just go away, they still have their own issues, and have to deal with them while looking after these kids. In general they handle mental health so well, and Shadow Weavers lasting effect on Catra SHOWS and it shows hard. Honestly, it made me want to cry at some parts and the ending was EVERYTHING, so reAd IT.

6. baby, i'm a house on fire (and i wanna keep burning) by wittchers 7000+

@huremsultan

[Medival AU]

A really fun fic to read, with a very original premise: after the Horde defeats the kingdom Bright Moon, Hordak is crowned, Queen Angella was killed, and Princess Glimmer is missing, which leaves Lady Adora forced into an arranged marriage with Lord Catra, to keep her people happy. Obviously, being an arranged marriage, with her enemy, she ain’t too happy about it, nor is Catra. But they have to put up with it, and each other. Honestly, like the development of their relationships is sooo good, and there is the perfect balance e of angst and fluff (if you can call it that?) so don’t worry it won’t kill you! Like ahh, the emotions in this - so well described with so little words. And the ending is great, in general it’s great!

7. Adora Casts: Zone of Truth by Hemogobbler 2000+ words

@hemogobbler69

[Canon Universe][T]

Literally just 2000 words of utter cuteness and hilarious dialogue haha. Premise - Catra has just defected recently, and is still warming up to Adora, is still slightly shut off from her. So, to try remedy this, she gets a truth serum from Madame Razz, and slips it into their food, leading to them talking honestly about their feelings for the first time in a while. I just love it so much because I feel like this is genuinely something Adora would do, and also something I’d probably do in her situation - Catra opening up is a rare occurrence! Also, as I said, their are some really funny, laugh out loud moments, which out of context are so weird, yet somehow manage to make a lot of sense. Anyway, if you just had a bad day, I think this fic would definitely lift your spirits.

8. bloom by kimah 4000+ words

Twitter: whitehotmoons

[Modern AU][G]

A post break up fan fic where Catra's therapist suggests Catra write down her feelings, which leads her to write the things she hates about Adora, and their interactions they've had since their break up. The way it's written is so... angsty but like, not? I'm bad at this. Literally, reading this I really felt Catra's pain, and I just wanted to give her a hug at times. Adora too. The small details the author outs into the characters makes the characters all that more realisitic too, and I love it! Seriously though, the angst, will, get, you.

9. I do adore by thankskelley 6000+ words

Twitter: cosmicsporks

[Modern AU][G]

A Catradora fake dating AU. Is there anything more you need in life? Catra and Adora are are roomates, and one day, Adora bursts in, saying she finally came out to her parents, and also that her parent had assumed they are dating... leading her to ask if Catra could pretend to be her girlfriend for while. What could possibly go wrong? Hmm?? I've always loved the whole fake dating premise (to all the boyss) and with characters like Adora and Catra, (especially Catra like she is a TEASE) I always thought it'd be great. Who doesn't love oblivious gays? Their dynamic in this is also great, especially all the flirting and teasing. BUT, of course, it also a bit angsty too. I can promise you you'll love it!

10. Chocolate and Roses vs. Heartache by Trashibesensei 9000+ words

[High School AU][T]

Another high school AU...I know I have a problem leave me alone. This time, if you couldn’t tell by the title, there’s some heartache involved, because: this Valentines Day, Adora doesn’t spend it with her best friend (now ex bestie) Catra. Even despite her popularity that she now has due to being the star player of Bright Moon’s soccer team, she can’t shake of how much she yearns for her old friend. Somehow, even with all the angst, it is still sO fucking FUNNY, the way Mermista was written was great, and she had some of THE best lines. But yeah, it’s so pure and just - Catra needs a hug, Adora needs a hug, they need to hug EACH other tbh! It had a very nice and hopeful message, and also kinda surprised me with the end.

11. someone you like by caela 5000+ words

[High School AU][T]

As a gen z, or x, or whatever the fuck I am, I always appreciate a fic where the characters say stupid shit over Instagram to their crushes which results it getting a date to prom. Although I can assure you that would never happen to me. But this So FUCKING cute and funny so READ.

12. this is what it's like when we collide (this is how you bring me back to life) by azul (7daysoftorture) 5000+ words

@bluelipgloss

[Canon Universe][G]

This galaxy brain fic is amazing and that’s ThE TEA. Catra gets a wish stone from Hordak and we all knowww, WHO she (subconsciously) craves - Adora, which obviously leads to hell breaking loose, because, disaster gays. Anyway read this it’s great and made me feel forget about the cruel world we live in.

13. Five Times Catra was a Cat and One Time the Cat was Catra by sunscreams 2400+ words

@catradoramma

[Canon Universe][T]

A BELLE, well written 5 + 1 which is just pure fluff (some hurt/comfort too) and Catra being Catra (so a loveable pain in the ass) after joining Adora in Bright Moon.

14. Vital Signs by SereneKarma 2000+ words

@serene-karma

[Modern AU][G]

Like a dumbass Catra breaks her leg and gets put in hospital, but hey - it’s okay as long as she’s got a cute nurse to look after her! It’s pretty funny just based on the concept alone so read ThIs BiSh.

15. You put the cracks into my moral code by Littleamethystc 3000+ words

@littleamethystc

[Gang AU][T]

Catra is a hotshot mafia member, Glimmer and Bow are the PoPo, and Adora is underestimated as HELL. It’s also pretty funny, like the whole concept is just perfect, so check it out!

16. The Best Gift I Could Ever Ask For by blueninjasharpshooter 1500+ words

[Modern AU][G]

Just a short n sweet fic of Adora celebrating her birthday which she forgot, and also Adora has a pocket knife in her boot, which is so accurate lmaooo. As well as having the most accurate character portrayals, AWWWWwwwww, was my reaction to the end of this fic, so read it to find out wHY.

17. but i still don’t wish death on ‘em (i just reflect on ‘em) by ayushi_writes 1500+ words

@ayushipop

[Canon Universe][G]

(Post S1) A year after the battle of Bright Moon, Adora and Catra are standing on a cliff, and Catra finally has a chance to end it all. But WilL she?!?!  Let’s just say, Catradora are the queens of promises.

18. Whiskey and Eggnog by briony8969 3500+ words

@briony8969

[Modern Christmas AU][G]

A cute Christmas fic where a nervous Adora goes home for the first time in months with her new friends from college, scared of what they’ll think but more scared of a certain SOMEONE she hasn’t spoken to in months. So basically: sexual tension gAlore.

19. She's a Regular by BaronVonChop 1500+ words

@baronvonchop

[Coffee Shop AU][G]

Adora is gay. Catra is gay. Catra works at a coffee shop (badly), and Adora goes to said coffee shop soo much, that it gets on her friends nerves, coz she very obviously likes to flirt with a Catra. It’s funny too. That’s it. That’s the fic and I love it.

20. Hand in Hand, We Make Our Way to The End by thethirdphiladelphiavireo 6500+ words

[Canon Universe - Soulmate AU][T]

Catra and Adora figure out they are soulmates after years of not knowing what it meant, but OBVIOUSLY, cannot communicate like mature humans, because - same.

21. How Do You Tell A Girl You Really Like Her Eyes? by Gay_Panic 1000+ words

[Canon Universe][T]

(Pre Canon)Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, a very gay, very wholesome, very nice first kiss fic. They are very gay for each other in this one, they don’t even care if KYLE catches them kissing.

22. Tender Moments by yesimgay 1500+ words

[Canon Universe][G]

(Post-war) Catra still feels guilty about everything she did to Adora in the past, so instead of sleeping at the foot of the bed as usual , she decides to sleep next to Adora...So there’s fluff, lots of fluff, and it is very tender.

23. Perfectly intertwined by dragonesdepapel 2000+ words

[Canon Universe][G]

On Catra’s first official day in Bright Moon, Adora drags her to a festival and they do cute things and it’s cute, and you should defo read it.

24. a girl without freckles is like a sky without stars by dear_universe 900+ words

@catralovesgirls

[Canon Universe][G]

More bed sharing because I CANNOT help myself, I love fics like these! Catra can’t sleep without Adora on her first night at the rebellion, so, she knocks on Adora’s door and things go from there.

25. Something to remember you by by DBsean 3000+ words

[Canon Universe][G]

Adora sneaks back into the fright zone in attempt to retrieve something, when Catra catches her. It’s cute af. Despite the circumstances.

26. Skiffs & Ships by mysteryinc 900+ words

[Canon Universe][G]

(Pre-show) Just two gals being pals who missed each other a fuck ton while on separate missions. It’s pretty cute.

27. Starstruck by InvisiblePinkToast 2500+ words

@invisible-pink-toast

[Canon Universe][G]

(Pre-show) A lil bit of angst, and nightmares, and a little bit of fluff, Stargazing and bed sharing - what more could you need?

28. a truth so loud you can't ignore by adverbialstarlight 2500+ words

@adverbialstarlight

[High School AU][T]

Catra ignores the growing feelings she has for her best friend, until the truth is so loud she can’t ignore it (see what I did there?) But for real tho this fic really gave me angst that hurt my soul then fluff that healed it, so we StAN.

29. Horde kids are just Like That by gerti 1500+ words

[Canon Universe][T]

(Canon Divergence) What would happen if when Adora defected the Horde, her and  Catra where still girlfriends? Read this to find out because it’s FUCKING hilarious lmaoooo, like it’s so absurd but somehow still makes perfect sense.

30. The First Step by oldmountainsoul 2900+ words

[Canon Universe][T]

(Post S1) Apologies which end in getting shoved out off trees are now exclusively for the Catradora fandom only.

31. (You’re My) Haven by giraffewrites 400+ words

@giraffewrites

[Canon Universe - Pre Canon][G]

(Pre-Canon) Adora only kisses Catra when she thinks she’s asleep, but my girl Catra ain’t playing no more so one night she just goes in for the KILL, Aka, cute dorks just being cute dorks.

32. Beyond the Screen by SereneKarma 5000+ words

@serene-karma

[Youtuber AU][G]

If you can't tell I really like YouTuber AU's. Catra being the angsty gal she is starts a YouTube channel to rant about her old best friend who practically vanished when she was 15, and her viewers (who definitely have no life) end up finding her.

33. come on, sugar, don't you leave early by thesqian 1500+ words

Twitter: @crnkgmeplys

[Modern AU][G]

Two gays at a gay wedding, who clearly have some shit going on, but it’s okay because gay weddings always bring gays together. I said gay a lot in that sentence. Read the fic, it’s short n sweet and cute, so you can’t go wrong!

34. but we could never stay away (from each other) by adorassword 1500+ words

[Canon Universe][T]

Catra and Adora have a nice, not so nice chit chat on Adora’s balcony late at night, - these two need LOVE, and I needed a hug after reading this coz damn. Damn.

35. bad ideas by ranpoandpoe 1000+ words

[University AU][T]

How we all wish thinking about your crush at 2am would go. That’s the only context I’m giving, so READ IT.

Also, here are some of my fav one shots I’ve written:

Two Sides Of The Same Coin 1000+ words

[Gang AU][T]

If I was perfect 2500+ words

[Modern AU][T]

And check out my Catradora week series, however my fav is:

damn you, unrequited love 7000+ words

[Modern/Sixth Form AU][T]

Here are some more series packed with fics that I’ve really enjoyed too!

Catradora Oneshots by clicheusername5678 @hey-adora

Catradora Tumblr Prompts BY sunscreams @catradoramma

if I grind my teeth at night, would you hear it? By poetroe

in the bottom of a coffee cup  + pieces by inkwelled (their stuff is great)

Twitter: adorascatrq

Anyway, I hope you guys appreciate this, it took quite a while lol. I had a lot of fun making it, and I hope you check out some of the fics on the list (maybe all if you're a crazy mf)

Until next time (:

[jcmorrigan]

Me(n)tal Fatigue

The F/O? XR from Buzz Lightyear of Star Command. The S/I? Rachel Sparks - fifth ranger of Team Lightyear with a big heart for justice (and no glasses in this ‘verse because I suppose Nebula would surgically augment my eyes to make sure Zurg couldn’t rip the glasses off and stomp on them, which is a Zurg tactic). This one goes as an epilogue to the ep “Head Case,” and watch me project neurodivergent headcanons upon a ROBOT. Listen, I have evidence as to why he has OCD, GAD, or both and I can produce receipts.

***

       She crossed his path later that night, just after hours, in the hallways connecting the barracks. Not an infrequent occurrence, given the proximity of her barrack to his storage unit. As always, they greeted each other as friends.

           She put up her hand; “Hey.”

           He made finger guns at her and clicked his tongue, winking.

           This was the part where they would just breeze by each other and keep on going, usually. But tonight –

           “Hey. XR.”

           They’d already passed each other by a couple paces in her case and cycles in his, and XR heard Rachel’s call to him when his back was already turned to her. He turned a quick 180 to see her regarding him with an air of concern that was, frankly, surprising. Shouldn’t she be used to this by now?

           “You know, I didn’t come THAT close to dying this time,” he said, cavalier as ever, a flippant shrug punctuating it. “YOU were the one who almost exploded.”

           Oh, that realization didn’t sit well with him.

           “I know,” Rachel replied.

           The words were so hard to dig up. She knew what she wanted – had – to ask him. But was it out of obligation as a friend, or some twisted excuse to get more attention from him? She wrestled with herself in her mind over the topic. This was why having feelings for someone was horrible. You could never trust your own intentions.

           She ended up just staring at XR blankly for a minute and a half, at which point he remarked, “Ooooookay, Rachel’s finally glitched out. And here, I thought that didn’t happen to organics.” In a blink, he was up in her face, escalated to her height so he could wave a hand in her face; “HEL-LOOOOO! STAR COMMAND TO RACHEL SPARKS! IS THERE A SIGN OF INTELLIGENT LIFE IN THERE?”

           She snorted, then broke down giggling.

           “I’m not sure whether to take that as a good sign or one that you’ve just completely lost it,” XR commented.

           “I’m fine,” Rachel said, calming down. “I just…wanted to ask you something. It might not be something you wanna talk about.”

           “You grossly underestimate my desire to talk about anything for long periods of time, especially if that ‘anything’ is related to myself.”

           “Well, you’re in luck,” Rachel replied. “But seriously, if you don’t wanna answer the question, you don’t have to.”

           He reverted to his usual height. “You’re gonna kill me from curiosity, Rach. If your goal here was to finish the job XL started, you’re doing a bang-up job.”

           “I was the one he almost blew up, remember?”

           XR really, really didn’t like considering the actual implications there. “No, seriously, what’s the big, scary question?”

           “Well…”

           She had to ask. Even if it was just an excuse to get him to talk to her. Either way, she knew he needed to talk about it. If his case was anything like hers, anyway. And she knew it was.

           On impulse, Rachel repositioned, dropping to the floor to sit with legs folded in a pretzel-reminiscent configuration, making her actually have to look up to meet XR’s line of sight. “So. Everybody thought you had ‘mental fatigue.’”

           “We’re getting comfortable for this. That should be a red flag.”

           “You don’t have to answer.”

           “I at least need to know where you’re going with this.”

           “It’s just…” Rachel faltered on the wording, then decided to simply be blunt: “DO you?”

           XR flinched. “What, you think I’m some kind of nutcase? Granted, that would fall in line with your brand of affectionate insult – “

           “Just hear me out, okay?” Rachel interrupted. “It’s all these things I’ve been noticing. How you straight-up ditched the team after having an air freshener ripped out. That was the first clue. You KNOW I’ve been there. It really looks like if you think you’re not perfect, you might as well not try. And then there’s the whole NOS-4-A2 thing. You’ve been taking him…REALLY hard. And then there was that attack that kicked this whole evaluation off, and…”

           “You are reading way, WAY too much into things,” XR replied, waving a hand as though to brush off Rachel’s speculation entirely. “Everyone has problems facing down a legitimate archnemesis. The rest of that is just my lovable quirks.”

           “And that’s…fine,” Rachel said unsurely. “It’s just that…I’ve…been a lot of these places. Not all of them, but…sometimes it really looks like you’re dealing with some heavy shit. Like you’re scared. Like you feel you’re losing control. Like you’re anxious.”

           “Robots don’t get anxiety disorder,” XR said dismissively. “I am literally programmed not to have anything your armchair diagnosis has led you to believe I have.”

           “And I’m totally ready to bring out the apology train for assuming,” Rachel went on. “I just had to ask if…” She swallowed hard. “If you were okay. That’s really all I want to know. Because if you’re not, then I figured you might wa – need to talk about it. And if you do, then…I’m here. But if I’m wrong, then just tell me straight, I’ll shut the fuck up, and I’ll go directly to bed without passing Go or collecting two hundred unibucks.”

           XR regarded Rachel with mild suspicion. “And after I answer, you intend to do WHAT with that information, exactly?”

           “Nothing,” Rachel told him. “This isn’t like taping me stupid dancing. I’m not gonna broadcast it or use it as blackmail. Like I know you wouldn’t do for anything ACTUALLY important.”

           His immediate instinct was to make a wisecrack about that, but that was perhaps the one sacred covenant between them, and he knew better. She was right about that much.

           “I’m just…” Her voice was barely able to eke out the next words due to the pounding of her heart. “Worried about you.”

           The silence only lasted a few seconds, but they could both feel how heavy it was and what it carried with it.

           “Well,” XR said at last. “Don’t be, because there is nothing to worry about.”

           Rachel looked up to him, giving him a nod in response. Maybe she’d been wrong. It was entirely likely she’d been projecting.

           His smile was broad, his body language solid. “You think it’s gonna take a few near-death experiences to break XR, Robot Ranger? Well, think again, my grammatically correct friend. I’ve been on the force longer than you have, you know.”

           By a couple months, she thought, but she didn’t voice this, instead nodding.

           “And I’ve seen things,” XR went on confidently. “Things that would reduce your average civilian to tears. But me? I am resilient in all conditions! Mental fatigue? Please. At the end of the day, nothing REALLY gets to me. Only the satisfaction of bad guys stopped, a job well done, and, if the day has gone according to plan, side cash earned from a moonlight venture. Granted, it’s a fifty-fifty shot that that part ever goes according to plan.”

           Seventy-thirty, Rachel corrected internally, and not in your favor.

           “In conclusion,” XR stated, “you don’t need to get your pretty little head worried about me, because I am completely, totally, one HUNDRED percent – NO I’M NOOOOOOOT!”

           The shift had been completely unpredictable; suddenly he was shaking like a leaf, fluid welling up at the bases of his eye-lights. Rachel flinched; it was like he’d been replaced again, like an entirely different robot stood before her, but she knew it was him. And she knew it was exactly as she’d suspected.

           “I DON’T WANNA KEEP DEALING WITH THIS!” XR went on, his voice cracking. “I DON’T WANNA LEAVE DUTY, EITHER! I CAN’T HAVE ANYONE THINKING I’M NUTS! BUT EVERY TIME THAT ENERGY-SUCKING VAMPIRE REARS HIS HEAD, OR XL RIPS ME TO PIECES, I DON’T EVEN KNOW IF I’M GONNA MAKE IT OUT THIS TIME! AND I REMEMBER THAT! I THINK ABOUT THAT!”

           Rachel didn’t reply. She simply listened. He had to say his piece. He’d had to say it for some time now. Though she had to admit she wasn’t as prepared for this reaction as she’d thought she had been. She had asked for candor, but hadn’t expected things to get quite this candid.

           Nor was she expecting it when he leaned right into her, his arms suddenly extending to wrap tightly around her in a desperate search for comfort, for understanding. She froze, her heart the only part of her in motion, and that dangerously so, throbbing so fast it might just explode. Feelings. She cursed them. If she didn’t have those feelings for him, this wouldn’t be so difficult to navigate, and she could just be there for him without pausing or stuttering. She could just –

           Well, realizing what a rational Rachel without a crush would do indicated what the real Rachel had to.

           She wrapped her own arms around his cylindrical body, pulling him a bit closer. Thinking about how there might not even be any benefit he’d get from that, being unable to sense tactile stimulation and all. Knowing that didn’t matter.

           “And you know – YOU KNOW – I’m only the way I am because of an accident!” XR babbled. “I got smashed to smithereens, and when they put me back together, I was me! Nobody knows how that even happened! And every time since then, when I’ve been pounded to bits, I come back as me! But what if I DON’T come back as me next time? What if I actually get deleted? Erased? Eighty-sixed?”

           Rachel had never even thought about that before, and she had to admit even she was horrified. No. She couldn’t tell him she was worried about that now on top of his mental state. She had to be the strong one here. It’s what she would want if it were her doing the crying.

           “ – and that energy-sucker’s obedience code is STILL in my data banks, and I’ve erased it THREE times since then, but it keeps reprogramming itself, and I can’t get rid of it, I CAN’T GET RID OF IT – “

           Her hand gently slid up and down his back. Now, that gesture probably was absolutely useless, but still, any way to let him know, without verbally interrupting, that she was listening, that she was understanding as best she could.

           “ – and THIS time, it was almost YOU that bit the dust, and that would’ve been on me! Forever! Knowing I let you get blown up!”

           A cold flush ran over Rachel. He’d really been that afraid for her?

           “And what kind of ranger lets all of his friends go down like THAT? Listen, I know I’m not the galaxy’s most morally upstanding guy, but – “

           Oh. He’d meant the collective “you.” That made more sense.

           This went on for a while. What he poured out, she absorbed, and soon she was the one shaking, having to hold all of this knowledge, even if it was only confirmation of what she’d theorized. Then there was silence, the pair of them locked together in the middle of a public hallway, surprisingly not having attracted any outside attention or gotten in the way of passersby. The benefits of waiting until after hours to have a breakdown.

           At last, very quietly, XR said, “I needed that,” and Rachel knew it was over. They let go of each other, slowly, and when XR met Rachel’s gaze again, his tears had dried, and he was putting on his best game face.

           “And you KNEW I needed that,” he said in an even tone.

           “I guessed,” Rachel said. The first words she’d spoken in a while.

           “And you’re NEVER going to tell anyone.”

           “No,” Rachel affirmed. “This stays between us. Unless you want to take it to anyone else.”

           “I don’t need them kicking me out for this,” XR said firmly.

           “I don’t want them kicking you out for this,” Rachel agreed. “You’re still doing GREAT. Being a little…um…”

           “Insane? Loco? Bananas?”            “…I don’t have a more polite word right now. The best I have is ‘messed up.’ But being a little bit that-stuff hasn’t really held you back that much. People get stress like that.”

           XR fixed Rachel with a particularly corrective look; “People?”

           “And robots,” Rachel said with a nod. “And you do a great job of working around it. I just know that sometimes, when it gets like that…if you don’t find a place to let it out, you’ll just collapse.”

           “Well, in that case…” XR suddenly lost a bit more confidence, tapping his index finger points together sheepishly. “I probably owe you one for being the – “

           “No. You don’t.” She was stern on that point. “Never. And I don’t wanna hear it brought up again.”

           “Right.” A double take, as though he was only just now realizing where he was, and what time it was. “Basically, this never happened.”

           “What never happened?”

           “Exactly.”

           Though Rachel couldn’t be completely selfless. “A thank-you WOULD be nice, though. That’s literally all I want.”

           “Well, thank you,” XR said, sounding completely offhand.

           Even though Rachel knew he was anything but.

           She set about getting to her feet. “Anyway, we both need to get to bed. I’m gonna hate myself in the morning if I don’t go to sleep – “ She checked her watch. “ – thirty minutes ago.”

           “As opposed to how you USUALLY are in the mornings?”

           “It gets so much worse than you know.”

           “Well, that’s not reassuring,” XR told her, completely casual now. “Meanwhile, you know the drill. Don’t need sleep; still love it.”

           She nodded. Then said “Goodnight” as though that were in any way sufficient to close out the situation that had just taken place.

           Rachel turned to walk away when she heard it:

           “Hey. Rach.”

           She turned back to see XR regarding her with a look of concern this time; a mirror image of the incident that had begun the conversation.

           “It hit me that you figured all this stuff out about ME because you were reminded of YOU,” he pointed out. “How messed up are YOU? For lack of a better term, of course.”

           She bristled. “Enough.”

           “And who do YOU talk to about it?”

           “No one,” she admitted. “But it’s fine. I’m an old pro at this.”

           “Oh, reeeeaaaaally.” The skepticism dripped.

           “Who am I even gonna talk to?” Rachel asked, half hoping against hope –

           “Well, they do say turnabout is fair play,” XR told her. “You COULD unload all your sorrows on your local sympathetic robot.”

           As absolutely wonderful as that sounded, Rachel had to call it out for the pipe dream it was. “You don’t really wanna talk about my issues. I know you’re just trying to be a good friend, and probably get me to talk you up about being such a good friend, but you don’t want to. Not really. And that’s fine. You don’t have to. You’re a good friend for other reasons. I’m the hear-you-out-on-your-vents friend. You’re the pull-elaborate-stunt-to-get-me-un-fired friend. It’s fine.”

           “Oh, yeah?” XR retorted. “You think I can’t handle your problems? Try me.”

           Well, now Rachel realized she’d challenged him to prove his worth, and he wasn’t going to back down. “Another time,” she told him, vowing to herself to never let him know when she was having such troubles. “It’s late o’clock right now, and I just want to go to sleep.” By which she meant push her curfew another hour and a half reading fanfictions and critical analyses.

           “Just know I’m here when you need me,” XR stated, all too boastfully. He couldn’t be honest about this, Rachel worried.

           “And I’m here when you need me,” she replied, meaning it deeply. “Whenever.”

           I’d probably do way too much for you, she added internally. I like you so much. I need you to be okay.

           “Now GOODNIGHT,” she asserted as she turned on a heel and briskly strode off to her barrack.

           XR watched her practically speeding away, still not really able to move on from what had just happened. He was trusting her with a lot now, but he knew she was exactly the right person for that, regardless of venom swapped between them in the past. He was perhaps just a little more fond of her now – not romantically, not in the way she’d have wanted, but he still had no clue of that.

           It was just a very, very good thing XL hadn’t blown her up.

           XR now made direct tracks for his storage unit, resolving to forget about all he’d said and all she’d listened to but immediately replaying the conversation in his mind, word-for-word, ten times at least.

[odogaronfang]

alright lads its daisy time

the not-at-all awaited post about @105ttt​‘s and my OC daisy!! the chaotic faerie!!! 

this is LONG so as usual i’m gonna slap it under a readmore

origin story (lore):

Daisy was created as a result of a random AU Fanta made once during server shenanigans wherein Vio dies during some kind of skirmish and Miss Fairy volunteers to revive Vio because he’s a hero, and fairies are “supposed to help heroes” whenever they can, even if it means giving up their own lives. Upon learning that Miss Fairy gave her life to revive him, however, Vio becomes grief-stricken and feels personally responsible for her death. He knows that historically it’s what fairies are ‘supposed’ to do, and it was her personal decision to help him, but he still feels that it is unfair that she has to give her own life to save his. 

As a result, he starts to research fairies on his own time whenever he can, reading as much as he can find about them and looking for them himself. He eventually learns more about fairy culture, lifestyles, etc., and starts venturing off to find Fairy Fountains around Hyrule in order to observe fairies in their daily lives. He’s not really able to gain access to them until he first finds a way to revive Miss Fairy, since she can vouch for him to other fairies so they’ll let him into the Fairy Fountains. 

Thankfully, the Maidens who created Miss Fairy in the first place, upon finding out how badly Vio is handling Miss Fairy’s death, are able to recreate her as she was before. From there on out, Vio and Miss Fairy travel around to Fairy Fountains, giving Vio an opportunity to learn more about them in the hopes of bridging any gaps between Hylians and fairies.

After Vio has been doing this for a while, he takes Green along with him on his visits since he is trustworthy (and manages to find out that Vio’s sneaking out at night). On one visit in particular, the two of them happen to be there when the Fountain water gives rise to a newborn fairy, and, being so attached to fairies already, the two of them take Daisy on as if they were part of their family and try to raise it.

personality (they’re pure chaos):

At first daisy acts like a cross between a normal faerie and a baby- they’re capable of speech and basic thought but are lacking maturity and knowledge about the world around them, and as a newborn they’re naturally very impressionable.

 When they emerge from the fountain and see vio and green they sort of imprint upon the two of them like a newly-hatched duckling and recognize the two of them as parent figures, so they slowly begin to take after their behavior. As they spend more time with the links they go from a quiet, innocent baby to extremely loud and kind of obnoxious, and in the situation where the links are familiar with memes, daisy picks that up too. [For a long time they use the memes completely incorrectly, but they slowly learn and proceed to yell them at or around everyone in the castle, including the people who have no idea what they’re talking about.]

That said, daisy tends to be very vocal about their thoughts, regardless of whether they might offend someone. They know they’re basically untouchable because they’re a sacred being and it would be a literal crime to hurt them (they take advantage of that to no end). Their opinions of their castle family are also very polarized- either they adore the family member or they can’t be in the same room as them without yelling about some petty offense.

There’s also a large disconnect between daisy and their culture as a faerie because they’re being raised among hylians, so they don’t learn their background and history properly. When miss fairy brings them to the fountain on ‘vacations’ to get more in touch with their divine ancestry they just get irritable and stubborn and refuse to learn anything from their sisters, but the second learning their magic gets them out of trouble they suddenly know how to teleport. 

Originally they learned to heal so they could heal a few minor injuries on green, but it snowballed from there once they realized they could use magic for lesser causes. Because of the informal learning their magic is very unpredictable and they can’t control it well, so they’ll teleport in their sleep or accidentally broadcast thoughts or unwittingly expend their energy healing a nearby person’s minor injuries (such as paper cuts). 

Miss fairy keeps trying to teach them how to control those things but at the mention of the word ‘learn’ daisy just leaves to go find someone to bother. The only exception to this is when daisy is forced to visit the fountain and miss fairy accompanies them, in which case daisy will steadfastly refuse to listen to anyone apart from miss fairy, who they enthusiastically refer to as “Big Sister”. 

 Another aspect of their disconnect from fairy culture is their tendency to roll around instead of flying when they need to go places. They fly so infrequently that flying (when it is ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY) is difficult. They insist that either their wings are broken (“flying machine broke”) or that flying is dumb and that they literally can’t fly (which is untrue, but they either genuinely believe it or are just that stubborn).

Likes:

Pasketti :)

Artura (AKA metal granddad)

Rolling around instead of flying

Flowers!!

Ice cream!!

Baby buns!! (Pieces of bread that have been hollowed out so that they can sit inside them like a nest)

Soft things to roll around on!

Covering themselves in their female relatives’ makeup

Glitter!

Bath bombs!

Colorful things!!

Gram Gram! (Purple Maiden)

Auntie Zelda and Auntie Erune!!

Hat Uncle!! (Blue)

The hat Blue knitted for them!!

Snow Uncle!! (Red)

Spiky Granddad! (Wes)

Bringing food to the people they love

Sitting in hot soup/beverages like it’s some kind of jacuzzi

Riding around on people’s heads/shoulders or in a pocket of their clothing so they don’t have to fly or roll themselves

Big Sister!! (Miss Fairy)

Dislikes:

Vio

Green (sometimes)

When they don’t get what they want

When someone insults them

Dark energy/dark magic

And by extension, Shadow, since he is a creature of darkness made from dark magic

‘Vacations’ to their home fountain

Authority

Not receiving their daily food tithings

[makochosena]

Writing Chicago

okay, so i saw this reference post a long time ago that was all about new york city to help people who write about it but don’t really know about it. and i haven’t seen one about chicago, my home city, so i thought i’d make one!!

you are allowed to like this, reblog this, etc. this is for everyone to use as a reference!! i might add more information if i missed something!! if you think something is wrong or should be changed, please let me know!! this is just some general knowledge you should have about chicago from a native that you can’t really get from wikipedia. i hope you find this useful!

Linguistics

No, we do not talk like Mike Ditka. At all.

Soda is called pop.

People say “you guys.” “Y’all” is used more in southern Illinois.

Chicagoland area = Chicago + the surrounding suburbs + Northwest Indiana

The Lake Effect: a term often used, especially on the weather report. This term describes the effects the lake, Lake Michigan, have on the weather. Basically, it keeps it cool during the summer and warmer during the winter. But it’s not like you notice it in the winter because temperatures easily remain under 20 degrees from November to April.

Chicagoans will always and forever call the Willis Tower the Sears Tower. If you hear somebody say that, they either work there or they’re not from around there. And if you say it to somebody from Chicago, you’re going to get a funny look.

“The Lake” = Lake Michigan. Referenced often.

While this may not come up in writing, we say caramel like “car-mel” not “car-a-mel.”

When people say “the city,” they mean Chicago. You often hear this in the suburbs.

CTA = Chicago Transit Authority. It is comprised of train lines and bus lines.

Transportation

Sometimes you might hear something called the “skyway.” It’s Interstate 90 and it connects Chicago to Indiana. What’s noticeable about it is that it’s this giant, tollway on a giant bridge over the Calumet River. And there’s a McDonald’s right smack dab in the middle of it.

O’Hare is one of the biggest airports in the country and pretty much the primary airport of Chicago. However, there is also Chicago Midway International Airport (just called Midway). O’Hare is in northwest Chicago and Midway is closer to the Loop and Chicago’s south side.

Chicago does not have a “subway system.” Like, trains that run underground. Instead, Chicago’s subway is above ground and goes above traffic. It’s called the “L” which is short for elevated. There are 8 lines, each one named by color (red, orange, yellow, green, blue, purple, brown, and pink). The Red Line is the longest one, going from north to south. And it is the only one that does actually go underground in downtown Chicago. Nobody uses the Yellow Line because it only goes from Northern Chicago to Skokie, one of the northwest suburbs of Chicago. People who use the Yellow Line are commuters between Chicago and Skokie. The only other Line that goes outside of Chicago is the Purple Line, which goes to Wilmett and Evanston, two suburbs literally right outside of Chicago.

The Loop is Chicago’s downtown. It’s called the loop because majority of the CTA lines have stations that circle around the downtown. So it’s called the loop because of it. People say “the Loop” when they’re talking about downtown or taking the CTA. Some lines of the CTA only circle the loop.

Metra vs. Amtrak. The Metra is a train that connects Chicago to the suburbs. The L is more like a subway that arrives at every station in ten-minute intervals. The Metra is more like a train with more scheduled times. The L takes you around Chicago. The Metra takes you out of it. The Amtrak takes you out of Chicago to the rest of the country. Some stops are in the suburbs. But if you’re taking the Amtrak to the suburbs, chances are, Chicago was not your starting point. You’d be coming from another city, such as Springfield, and stopping in Chicago before going out to the suburbs. The Metra is for commuters.There are two stations for the Metra and Amtrak, Union Station and Ogilvie Transportation Center (OTC), both located a block apart from each other, both in downtown. 

You don’t drive in the city. It’s a nightmare. Road rage is everywhere. Most people take the L, the bus, cabs, or Uber. People only drive in the city if they’re coming from outside or going outside of the city. 

Here is the CTA map just for shits and giggles. 

Weather

It’s so unpredictable. It will be 50 degrees in the morning and snow by 3 pm.

Also, 50 degrees is considered warm in Chicago. People are wearing shorts even at 40 degrees tbh. Also, it is always colder in Chicago than in the suburbs. And the suburbs are colder than central Illinois. You can tell the difference when you are traveling. 

Chicago is a very windy city. And there is a big difference in temperature with the wind chill. 

Schools will not close, even if there is a foot of snow on the ground and/or it is below zero degrees.

Likewise, it can be extremely hot in Chicago. Like, summers are usually well over 80 degrees. There just is no in-between. 

Natural disasters? Uncommon. There are occasional earthquakes that happen like once every other year and they’re usually so little that people just sleep right through them. Tornadoes are the most common, but even those are infrequent and only really occur in rural Illinois. 

Attractions

Some popular sites in Chicago, even for natives, are Navy Pier, Millennium Park, Shedd Aquarium, Adler Planetarium, Brookfield Zoo, Sears Tower, Museum of Science and Industry, Field Museum, The Art Institute, Lake Michigan, the Chicago River, and Wrigley Field.

Millennium Park is extremely popular. It’s located inside the loop and every year, there’s a special Christmas tree lighting. People ice skate there all the time in the winter and there’s the Bean. The Bean is officially called the “Cloud Gate” but everybody calls it “the Bean.” It’s this giant, stainless steel sculpture that’s like looking into a mirror. This is prime selfie spot here.

The Field Museum is home of Sue, the most complete T-Rex skeleton in the world. She’s pretty cool. People love swimming in Lake Michigan or going to the beaches, even if it is 50 degrees out. The Polar Plunge is popular. Wrigley Field is kind of a major attraction because of the Cubs but also because it is the second oldest baseball park in America. Except for the giant screens and a brand new bullpen, the field pretty much is the same as when it opened in 1912. You can go to the top of the Sears Tower, to the 110th floor, and go on the “Sky Deck.” There are glass boxes attached to the outside of the building where you can walk on and view the city. It’s the best view in the whole city. 

You can also get the world’s largest ice cream sundae at Margie’s Candies, or so they say. I’ve had it, it is absolutely enormous, and it tastes incredible.

Lollapalooza. This is the biggest event in Chicago every single year. It is this giant music festival. It is filled with young adults, drugs, cops, and booze. It’s the Coachella of Chicago. Tickets sell out within hours of going on sale. When I was in high school, people honestly skipped school so they can stay home and buy their Lolla tickets. People do not fuck around when it comes to this.

Population

Very Polish. You see it in the street names.

Very democratic. Illinois is a democratic state because of Chicago’s population. Rural Illinois is way more Republican.

The main ethnic groups of Chicago are Irish, German, Latinx (especially Mexican), Assyrian, Arab, Jewish, English, Black, Korean, Chinese, Filipino, Puerto Rican, Indian, Italian, Cuban, and Polish. The suburbs tend to have a higher population of white people with low populations of people of color.

Sports

It’s a major thing in Chicago. Home of the Bulls (basketball), Bears (football), Blackhawks (hockey), Cubs (baseball), and White Sox (baseball).

The Bulls and the Blackhawks are Chicago’s most successful teams and the most popular.

Everyone is a Bears fan and everyone hates the Bears. They have been extremely unsuccessful the past like 7 seasons. People care a lot about the Bears. Most Bears fans really hate the Green Bay Packers.

The north side of Chicago belongs to the Cubs. The south side belongs to the White Sox. The city is very divided on this one and fans of either team don’t really get along with fans from the other team. However, everyone can agree that the Cubs winning the World Series was amazing. The Cubs have an intense rivalry with the St. Louis Cardinals, and the fans hate the Cardinals like the Bears hate the Packers. 

Food

So you’ll mostly find your average food chains around Chicago. McDonald’s, Starbucks, etc. However, Chicago is also known for its Chicago-style hot dogs, Maxwell Street Polishes, and the deep dish pizza. Chicagoans will always tell you that their pizza is better than New York’s.

However, the most popular food chains are local ones: Portillo’s, Giordano’s, Oberweis, Steak ‘n Shake. Portillo’s is famous for their beef (hot dogs, Italian beef, burgers) and their chocolate cake shakes. Portillo’s is Chicago’s In-N-Out Burger. If you are looking for the most Chicago pizza ever, Giordano’s is the place to go. Oberweis sells ice cream, milkshakes, and milk. And Steak ‘n Shake is crazy popular because of their steakburgers, shakes, and for their ridiculously low prices.

Other Notes

Illinois south of Bloomington is like a whole different state. Northern Illinois is dominated by Chicago. Outside of the Chicagoland area, it’s more rural--save for smaller cities like Freeport, Rockford, Springfield, Bloomington, Peoria, Urbana-Champaign--and extremely different. People even talk differently in some places!

The Chicago River is dyed green every St. Patrick’s Day. Like, it is legit green. St. Patrick’s Day is one of the biggest celebrations in Chicago, even if you aren’t Irish. There’s the huge parade and people just like to see a bright green river. People get so lit for this. 

Ferris Bueller’s Day off was known as “John Hughes’ love letter to Chicago.” Regardless of your opinions on the plot, characters, actors, director, etc., this film really is all about Chicago and will give you great insight on what it’s like. 

Ever since, like 2014-2015ish, Chicago has banned plastic bags. So if you go to the grocery store, chances are, you’ll be charged to use plastic bags or you wil have to bring your own or you will use paper. Depends on the store, really. Here’s a useful wesbite on the ban that tells you what you need to know. 

If you have any questions, comments, concerns, feel free to ask me!! Happy writing!!! 

[timeripe]

I PROMISED CRYING ABOUT THE BRAIN, LEGGO, YALL KNOW THE TAG TO BLACKLIST IF YOU DON’T WANT TO READ IT ---> jupiter is crying over the brain again 

tonight’s guest star is Jean Havoc

Okay so just jumping right in, this dude disassociates like nobody’s business.

whoa jupiter that’s so outlandish how could you possibly say that about a sharpshooter?????

Easily. Let’s start at the the turning point and work backwards.

This is the first verbal proof he checked out. The entire time you see Havoc in the hospital, he’s hardly there. You see this sort of absenteeism in depression all the time, and be honest with yourself, Havoc’s entire line of work relied on full mobility. He effectively lost his job the minute Lust impaled him. He was in Ishval, he’s made a career out of the military up to and since then; Havoc is literally the knight in Mustang’s team because of how he’s trained to move in missions. He has to be unpredictable and able to move in unconventional ways.

You know what happens the minute you take the legs away from someone like that? Everything they are and do for a living is now gone. He’s going to be depressed, and he’s going to check out because this reality, for lack of a better phrase, sucks.

but how do you know he’s checked out? he could just be ruminating

Fair, but counterargument:

Look at how his entire persona changed when he checked back in. He grabbed onto Mustang’s collar, shouted in his face, presented the reality he doesn’t want to accept any more than anyone else. He’s breathing heavily, sweating a bit. He’s feeling everything.

You know what happens when you disassociate? You don’t feel anything. The way he spoke, down to the cadence of his words, was night and day different. It was slower, with less inflection and his mouth hardly moved. He didn’t even make eye contact during most of the time he was talking.

I can feel this picture. The tightness that settles into your throat and chest, saying out loud what everything in your head is taunting you with. Then Mustang says he’ll leave Havoc there, and you see for just a second that he’s not quite expecting that; his new reality just got validated and he’s Useless. But he’s checked in now and has to work on tamping it all down, to get it all back to a bearable level of pain.

But then wait, Mustang says he’ll leave Havoc so he can catch up. This is an alternate reality that Havoc hadn’t thought of, one that he isn’t Useless in. You can watch the exhaustion catch up to him because this reality doesn’t hurt as badly??? And doesn’t it bring some sort of relief? To know that what you once thought of as a fork between giving up and resigning to being an invalid and giving up completely and dying actually has a third option: wait it out for the right time to catch up and pick up where you left off.

okay but what about the whole “working backwards” thing?

You honestly think Havoc is the type to get out of Ishval without tamping it down and covering it up? That memory is something he will always be Checked Out from, just like everyone else in team Mustang. Even Hawkeye told Ed about it as if she was an outsider watching it, not an active participant. 

That’s the key takeaway here, folks! They all talk like outside participants, save for Armstrong and the infrequent occasion Mustang doesn’t. And it comes to a head when Havoc loses his legs and you watch him slowly shut down inside, his happy reality of being part of a great team and a valuable asset crumbling away to the new reality of being a Useless Invalid who can only answer the telephone now.

[selfsaving]

GENIE’S  POWERS   !

general  notes

genie  is  not  AWARE  of  all  her  powers  or  the  extent  of  them.

she  is  only  able  to  control  a  small  portion  of  them.

most  of  them  come   &   go   //   or  only  exhibit  themselves  once  or  twice   //   or  are ,  really ,  pretty  much  RANDOM  and  unpredictable.  there  are  a  small  handful  that  have  been  consistent ,  but  even  they  aren’t  exactly  100%  reliable.

if  she’s  under  strain     (   physical  or  emotional   ) ,     injured  /  in  pain ,  or  experiencing  any  STRONG  emotion ,  then  genie  is  less  able  to  control  her  powers.  sometimes  that  means  they’ll  randomly  burst  out   //   sometimes  new  or  infrequent  powers  will  suddenly  flare  up   //   or  sometimes  they  all  just  shut  down  and  she  can’t  do  anything.

basicALLY  her  powers  are  pretty  unpredictable  and  come  and  go  with  no  apparent  pattern.  there’s  a  lot  going  on  inside  her.

list  of  not - really - powers - but - still - unusual - for - a - teenage - girl

she’s  really  fuckin  smart.  her  mental  maths  is  EXTREMELY  fast ,  as  is  her  memory  capacity.  she  generally  doesn’t  need  to  be  told  things  more  than  once  or  maybe  twice  to  remember  it ,  even  if  she  doesn’t  full  UNDERSTAND  it.  she’s  very  quiet  and  listens  a  lot ,  and  it’s  a  powerful  combination.

her  vocabulary  isn’t  actually  that  much  bigger  than  an  ordinary  11 - year - old’s  because ,  well ,  she  hasn’t  really  SOCIALISED.  she’s  picked  up  quite  a  lot  of  Adult  Jargon   &   science  terminology ,  stuff  like  that ,  but  is  very  out  of  touch  with  references ,  humour ,  etc.

she's  great  at  learning  languages.  when  she  was  first  admitted  to  the  program ,  she  spoke  very  good  french     (   from  her  bilingual  mum   )     and  since  being  kept  in  the  facility ,  she’s  had  german   &   russian  lessons  too.  speaks  french  basically  fluently ,  and  the  other  too  to  a  good  standard.  she  keeps  asking  for  more  lessons  in  other  languages ,  she  just  LOVES  it.

she’s  v  sensitive  to  touch   !     her  carers  thought  it  was  a  superpower  thing  but ,  in  reality ,  she’s  just  never  been  touched  :/  reacts  quite  strongly  to  casual  touches     (   hand  on  shoulder ,  hugs ,  etc.  anything  Non - Clinical   ).

also ,  she’s  v  sensitive  to  sunlight  and  burns  easily.  aLSO  hates  loud  noises.  her  ears  r  sensitive.  she’ll  flinch  /  hide  /  try  to  run  away  from  the  noise.

genie  has  synesthesia   !     she  sees  +  associates  colours  strongly  with  names   &   people ,  and  also  a  scattering  of  other  random  words.  she  DOESN’T  get  it  with  numbers  or  individual  letters.  also  sees  colours  when  listening  to  music.

can  hold  her  breath  for  a  scary  amount  of  times.  like ,  5  or  6  minutes.

animals  are  kinda  drawn  to  her.  not  sure  whether  this  is  a  power  or  not.  but  wild  animals  aren’t  really  spooked  by  her ,  will  often  let  her  pet  them  or  get  really  close.  domestic  animals  are  always  drawn  to  her  too.

powers   !     listed  from  most  frequent  /  controllable  to  least

LIGHT  MANIPULATION.  consistent  occurrences.  can  create  light  from  her  fingertips   &   palm.  genie’s  earliest  manifesting  power     (   combination  of  her  fear  of  the  dark  +  often  being  left  in  total  darkness  overnight   ).     has  never  not  been  able  to  perform  on  command.

POWER  DETECTION.  consistent  occurrences ,  varying  in  success  /  strength.  ranges  from  literally  seeing  other  people’s  powers  to  just  getting  a  weird  aura  /  vibe  off  them.  generally  human  mutants  are  easier  to  read ,  whereas  non - humans  /  supernatural  beings  are  more  of  just  an  aura.

EMPATHY     (   AURA  READING  +  THROUGH  TOUCH   ).     regular  occurrences ,  varying  in  strength.  easier  with  people  she  knows ,  adults ,  and  stronger  emotions.  linked  to  her  synesthesia   !     she  can  see  people’s  emotions  as  colours  around  them ,  like  an  aura.  she  can  pretty  consistently  read  how  her  carers   &   adults  in  the  facility  are  feeling ,  but  it’s  harder  with  strangers.  colours  are  fainter  or  more  muddled   //   or  she  has  to  concentrate  to  see  them  at  all.  TOUCHING  people ,  however ,  she  can  almost  always  get  a  colour  of  what  they’re  feeling.  can  find  it  overwhelming     (   especially  stronger  emotions  like  sadness  or  anger   )     and  can  cry  /  laugh  in  reaction.  also  another  reason  why  she’s  tentative  with  casual  touch.

ENVIRONMENTAL  ADAPTION.  regular  occurrences ;  varying  success.  she  can  adapt  extremely  well  in  COLD  environments ;  doesn’t  really  feel  cold ,  nor  does  her  body  really  react ,  down  to  extremely  low  negative  temperatures.  is  also  fine  in  freezing  water  for  extended  periods  of  time.  HOWEVER  she  is  very  bad  at  handling  warm  temperatures ,  very  prone  to  heatstroke  etc.  high  heats  also  pretty  much  shut  down  all  of  her  powers     (   again ,  something  uhhhh  people  at  the  facility  have  made  sure  of   ).

NIGHT  VISION  /  DARK  VISION.  fairly  regular  occurrences.  generally ,  it’s  something  she  has  to   ‘ switch  on ’   ——  she  always  prefers  to  create  light  than  simply  use  night  vision.  she  also  struggles  to  use  it  in  artificial  darkness  or  inside.  when  in  use ,  she  can  pretty  much  see  as  well  as  in  daylight.

POWER  REFLECTION  /  FORCE - FIELD  GENERATION.  multiple  occurrences.  creating  an  energy  shield  to  reflect  projectiles  /  other  powers.  happened  when  she’s  been  put  in  dangerous  situations   &   panicked ,  only  managed  to  form  one  on  command  once  or  twice.

ELECTRICITY  MANIPULATION.  multiple  occurrences.  i’ll  write  a  meta  about  this  at  some  point ,  but  this  is  one  that  her  carers  have  deliberately  subdued.  the  superpowers  she  has  are  generally  once  encouraged  during  tests ,  etc.  ——  ones  the  facility  deem  HARMLESS.  so  no  super  strength   //   teleportation   //   anything  that  could  get  her  out  of  control.  electricity  manipulation  showed  up  pretty  early ,  around  age  8 ,  when  she  short  circuited  the  door  to  her  room.  was  too  young  to  think  about  escaping ,  but  the  worry  is  there.  so  her  scientists  began  to  punish  her  for  using  it   //   researched  it  a  LOT   //   eventually  came  up  with   ‘  medicine  ’   that  would  subdue  the  ability.  again ,  i’ll  write  about  this  separately  at  some  point ,  but  her  control  of  this  power  would  be  pretty ,  well ,  powerful  if  not  for  the  intervention.

LEVITATION.  fifteen  or  twenty  occurrences   ?     never  anything  major ,  just  a  foot  or  two  off  the  ground.  usually  when  she’s  sitting  down   &   daydreaming.  usually  gives  her  a  headache   &   makes  her  dizzy.  only  been  able  to  do  it  on  command  twice     (   and  she  fainted  afterwards  one  of  those  times   ).

TELEKINESIS.  around  a  dozen  occurrences.  has  been  able  to  perform  on  command ,  but  isn’t  encouraged.  can  only  lift  small  objects     (   biggest  being ,  like ,  a  box  of  cereal   )     and  it  exhausts  her  pretty  quickly.

INVISIBILITY.  five  or  six  occurrences ,  all  when  she  wanted  to  avoid  her  carers  /  tests.  she  tries  to  make  this  one  come  back  fairly  often ,  but  hasn’t  managed.  the  first  time  it  happened ,  scientists  IMMEDIATELY  started  searching  for  a  drug  that’d  subdue  it ,  but  genie  didn’t  do  it  again  for  like  eight  months ,  so  they  dropped  it  on  the  decision  it  wasn’t  a  big  concern.

ENHANCED  TOUCH  /  HEARING  +  PSYCHOMETRY.  a  handful  of  occurrences  each.  lumped  together  because  they  manifested  themselves  in  similar  ways.  either  she  could  hear  a  conversation  happening  through  soundproof  glass  or  half  a  building  away   //   or  touch  something  and  know  another  person  had  touched  it  recently   //   or  simply  knew  where  other  people  were  without  explanation     (   psychometry   ).     could  never  explain  it  afterwards ,  and  usually  when  tested  she  isn’t  accurate.  maybe  three  times  has  been  able  to  listen  /  feel  /  sense  for  details  when  instructed     (   e.g   ‘  tell  me  where  x  is ;  what  are  x  and  y  talking  about  ’   ).

FOG  /  MIST  GENERATION.  three  or  four  occurrences ;  all  when  she  was  upset  ——  fog  filling  the  room.  has  never  been  able  to  create  on  command.

NEUROCOGNITIVE  DEFICIT.  three  occurrences ;  only  once  against  another  person.  the  other  two  were  deliberate  to  herself     (   ability  to  render  a  person  unconscious  at  will   ).     first  was  at  a  guard  who  attempted  to  move  her ,  other  two  were  both  on  herself  during  tests     (   one  because  she  was  worried  she  might  hurt  another  person   //   other  because  she  just  didn’t  want  to  comply  with  tests  any  more   ).

LIE  DETECTION.  two  occurrences.  one  was  a  normal  conversation  with  a  scientists  about  her  home  life ,  second  was  when  she  was  being  caled  away  for  a  test  on  the  promise  it  wouldn’t  hurt   &   wasn’t  dangerous  ——  both  times  genie  knew  they  were  lying  because  of  the  colour  of  their  auras.  she  often  checks  people’s  colours  for  lies ,  but  has  never  been  able  to  detect  one  other  than  those  two  occurrences.

HEALING.  two  occurrences.  never  on  command.  once  restoring  a  dead  plant  outside  the  building ,  other  healing  a  small  cut  on  a  scientist’s  arm.

TELEPATHY.  one  occurrence ;  on  command.  could  read  an  exact  sentence  from  a  scientist’s  head.  has  never  been  able  to  repeat.

FIRE  GENERATION.  one  occurrence.  panicked ,  got  overwhelmed ,  nearly  set  herself  on  fire.  lost  a  chunk  of  her  hair  before  she  someone  put  her  out  with  a  fire  extinguisher.  has  never  been  willing  to  try  again.

[scarlcteye]

⫸ 𝐒𝐎𝐔𝐋 && 𝐌𝐀𝐆𝐈𝐂

Oh boy this maybe long but here we go. It’s about time I explain how Jack ticks I guess. This is going to go over how his magic works, how he uses it and how it both effects him and everything around it. Not only that, the condition of his soul ( which is bad and canon for all verses ) will also be explained. [ Don’t hesitate to ask me questions if something isn’t clear !! ]

MAGIC

Well as we all know, Monsters’ body and soul are made from magic and I have a few theories about that ( only canon for Jack’s timeline/himself ). As known, there are different types of magic, bone magic, fire magic, sound magic, effect magic etc. And some monsters can use more than one type of magic besides their own ( whether or not they were born with it or learned it over time ). Some monsters have special abilities, be it a unique magic or an effect that’s caused in certain circumstances ( ex. Karmic Retribution ). 

Jack has three different types of Magic that can branch off into abilities, effects and sub-magic that he’s capable of. That is Space Manipulation, Weapon Magic and Bone Magic [ eventually I will need to update his profile ^^;; ]. But besides that the thing what will be mostly covered here is his raw magic.

Even though it seems like Jack has full control of his magic or has complete control, he really doesn’t. His magic is unstable, unpredictable and wild especially since it can easily get out of control due to negative emotions. His magic has a specific flow or the way his magic conducts. Jack’s magic travels like electrical energy. It’s possible for his magic to flare up like smoke but most often it discharges in an electrical form. And yes, this does account for how fast he can cast attacks and even teleport. One of Jack’s many qualities is his speed. So most of his magic abilities do happen instantaneously.

His magic can effect electronics and devices but passes through those with souls and most organic material unless it was prepared in an attack. He can use this raw energy for simple tasks such as turning on and off lights and devices, flipping channels on TV and radio, electric ovens, toasters, microwaves, fridges and pretty much anything ran by electric, he can even send short messages through text or chat without having to touch his phone or computer.

Magic flows through his body quite like how nerves and heat does in a human body. Reasoning to why his hands, feet and skull are the most sensitive parts of his body since magic is mostly being filtered through those points.

Due to the fact that he’s made from two Boss monsters fused together with DETERMINATION and was thrown into the VOID, Jack has a shit-ton of constant regenerating magic at his excess. Though his magic constantly being used to keep his physical form from falling apart, which isn’t actually hard, it’s as natural as breathing but due to his condition ( will later be explained in the next section ) it’s been harder or getting harder trying to keep himself together.

SOUL

Jack’s soul is extremely damaged and fragile ( surprised he’s survived this long ; he stays alive with spite and sheer anger alone ) not to mention the DETERMINATION within him is in fact very slowly killing him. He is literally dying inside.

Even though he has a lot of magic his input and output of magic is way over unbalanced that his own body is literally on the verge of a meltdown. The magic that he outputs is slowly becoming less and less as he constantly is needing to feed magic towards his own body and soul to keep it mostly stable. While then his own soul is literally eating away his own body, burrowing a hole in his chest ( which he usually can cover up with bone magic but as it gets worse he can’t hide it with that anymore and will begin using bandages which can burn off or a garment that resembles a binder over his chest ). This also puts Jack in constant excruciating pain as it gets worse over time but becoming used to it, most of the time he mentally nullifies it ( he may also use different types of painkillers ). The only times he feels the pain is when he uses too much magic all at once which usually only occurs when he enters a Battle. Teleporting and his telekinesis normally don’t bother him, his body doesn’t consider that an excess use of magic ( but using different types of magic all at once is considered excess which is normally during a Battle ).

Below will be stated the symptoms of his condition getting progressively worse:

STAGE 1 Hole is 2 - 3 inches in diameter ; mild chest pain, slight occasional headaches, somewhat irritable, apathetic, able to hide hole

STAGE 2 Hole is 2.5 - 4 inches in diameter ; increased chest pain, headaches occur often, very irritable, short temper, able to hide hole

STAGE 3 Hole is 3 - 4.5 inches in diameter ; constant chest pain, infrequent migraines and headaches, irritable, quick to lash out, hyper-sexuality &/or blood-lust, emotional trouble, able to hide hole

STAGE 4 Hole is 3.5 - 5 inches in diameter ; bouts of extreme chest pain, frequent migraines and headaches, loss in motivation, emotionally sensitive, constant fatigue, unable to hide hole

STAGE 5 4.5 - 6 inches in diameter ; crippling chest pain coupled with migraines, extreme fatigue, sensitive to touch, starts hacking up DT ( like blood but much brighter and glows ), unable to hide hole

STAGE 6 Hole is 6 inches and above ; pain leaves him completely immobile, frequently gags DT, DT leaks from his chest, completely numb to touch, signs of body crumbling, eventual Death

These are the stages that gradually happen over time if the condition is not yet taken care of. Usually Jack is between Stages 2 - 3 in most verses. The speed of which the Stages progress change drastically depending on the Timeline Jack’s in, his current well being mentally and physically and the environment he’s placed in. The speed of which he is deteriorating can also change due to any kind of new influence he’s experiencing be it environment change or the persons he meets. So it could literally be between weeks to months to years before he ever reaches any of the serious Stages.

There is a way of saving him [ why wouldn’t there be ; I’m not that cruel ] but Jack has a deep internal hatred and rooted fear of the process. If you already guessed it, then yes, one would need to hook him up to the DT Extraction Machine. But here’s the thing, he still needs DT to keep his soul from completely tearing apart. It’s the reason why he’s an amalgamation in the first place. One would have to extract a specific amount of DT from his soul, not just below or above, exactly otherwise he WILL die. Not mention, it will hurt Jack like hell, like hurt A LOT. But it’s really the only way to ensure his survival. [ Again feel free to ask questions and theorize with me ].

[book-of-ryker]

The people in front of me are the people that are older than me, and they’re telling me that this acid trip of a life only gets worse. As we hurtle through space and time, each of our lives spiraling in and out of each other, I know for a fact that I was made for someone else.. I was made to belong to a culture beyond my wildest dreams. There, it glows with a gold and green hum, on the horizon of my wasted thoughts. If only I could have picked up those thoughts. What golden beauties they must have been. But I was here and that city is just an illusion. There are only worse times and better times for us all. Your days are numbered, yes, but the day can be filled. To the brim.

Maybe my dreams are what keep my parents alive. Maybe one day I will wake up, and see that they are gone. I hope that when I am there in their death that I know to remember that they will always be in my heart. Which makes me feel just as alive as a Florida sunrise on an overcast day.

I’m fascinated with death. I know nothing about this. When I see it happen, I know nothing beyond it. But I’m all in with my pile, I’ve got nothing to lose, When we die, and we die, trust me, We don’t know nothing about being nothing. Nada. Nil. I want to be nothing so bad. My dad doesn’t understand this about me. It’s like I’m talking with a two dimensional circle, And I’m a sphere. He has no concept of what my existence is like. I bet he thinks I’m evil now. He compares me to my older brother, more frequently now. I don’t want to be around my dad. He hurts me on an emotional level because I don’t want to disappoint him, but I need him to give me a break. I don’t come home until the morning. I don’t say hi to him. I just live here until September. The worst part is that I sound just like him. I miss my dad. MY dad. My dad is an example of how broken a human can be, changing the forecast of every conversation to things about only his life, with people I don’t know about or relate to. Empty promises, lazy eating, angry yelling and fits of rage from both of them at infrequent timings. I’m literally sitting in my car, mortified by the idea of going inside. I have nothing to lose by going inside, except the unpredictable weathering of my mother. Step mother. My dad glorifies her, but she talks to me like I’m Satan himself sometimes. She doesn’t like me apparently. Even being in this house just cranks my depression through the roof. I want to say that this house is haunted, but I have literally no evidence other than my shitty mood which is really just a huge mental disorder that I do, apparently, as per my sister, “not understand,” at one point in the conversation. I don’t know why I’m still writing this. No one fucking reads this shit.