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i wasnt anon but im curious too, please tell us about your near death experience
Alrightie!
I attempted suicide, overdose, and almost had a seizure.
I think I /did/ have a seizure. I just didn't seek medical help.
I was tripping balls, basically, whole skin felt like stactic, if you know a thing or two about seizures, that's a sign. Nothing felt real. My brain convinced was in a coma at the hospital, I thought the only way to wake up from the coma was dying, so I tried to jump from the balcony, although I was stopped.
Sometimes it felt like the 'coma world' was like sweeter and kinder than my usual life, because my parents seemed... Worried about me, more than usual, (If you know a thing or two about my parents, you know they are pretty abusive, and lowkey neglectful), but I thought was all a façade, because, in my hallucination state, my parents were fleshy, shapeshifting, lumpy monsters (I think it's because my mom didnt believe I tried to commit suicide, even though in my tripping balls state I told her I had attempted to. She just didn't believe me, thought I just had a tummy ache, and tried to gaslight me I had just dreamt I tried that. Thanks mom.) I assumed I was in a coma because I /Knew/ I had attempted, so I assumed my mom was just my brain trying to make it seem less painful, I assumed my mom lying was just my brain trying to make reality more acceptable and less horrifying. But I still assumed she had /evil/ intentions, therefore, lumpy flesh shapeshifting monster. (Possibly a metaphor for abuse.)
And while I was lying down on bed and I felt like most my organs stopped working. I was just lungs and a brain. Until I felt like I was just a tiny particle, just a tiny speck of light, roaming some galactic-dark-blue-halls and I met some entities there, cloaked figures, and they explained to me that if I wanted to die, I'd have to let myself fade away.
So I tried.
So with my eyes closed I saw this entire network of lights, like a whole city. That was my brain, those were my neurons, braincells, whatever you want to call them. They would slowly fade out outside-in, as in, they started turning off from the corners of my vision and would close in to the middle, and I'd have to let them all turn off to die. So I tried.
But every time all the lights were almost all off I'd see flashes of my Cats and someone really important to me and I'd jerk back awake, making all the lights turn back on. When you're almost dying, your survival instincts kick in. That was basically it.
After 12 hours of tripping balls and being convinced the world was trying to kill me while I was in a coma, I snapped out of it. I was like from 9pm to 9am high as a G6 and didn't sleep one bit. I felt like I had learned more about the world, though. Surprisingly.
#cw death#cw suicide#cw seizures#cw parental abuse#open to questions about it too but be brave enough to show your face about it.#incoherent since this is a polished copypaste from a message i sent one of my best friends after they asked me abt it#unreality#hallucinations#update: im quite sure i got brain damage from it too#because i got way more sensitive to light after that happened#i used to be sensitive to lights due to autism but now i think it might be brain damage/epilepsy#especially since one of my antipsychotics is an anticonvulsant#i get way way way wayyyy worse without them#so yeah#edit: typos fixed#better formatting
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PSA for Google Docs writers
[Edit] Also for Firefox, as per @essayofthoughts in the notes: https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/delete-g-docs-type-to-insert/
If you (like me) use Google Doc to write fanfic, you may (like me) have been annoyed by the new "feature" they added in the past few weeks, "Smart Chips," where by default every time you open a new line it auto-inserts a "@" symbol and then prompts to add additional people into the doc for review or whatever other useless thing I immediately closed out of.
There doesn't appear to be a way to turn off this "feature" in GDocs however someone has put out an extension that nixes it:
#fanfic author psa#google docs#this irritating son-of-a-clippy did cause my formatting on the last chapter of IDV to be messed up#but that one was partly on me for not checking better#and letting myself be distracted
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Obi and his padawans :3
I wanted to redraw this but I thought it would be more fun if I did a continuation instead :))))
My original file was apparently too big X)
#star wars#the clone wars#sw#tcw#obi wan kenobi#ahsoka tano#anakin skywalker#I know I could have done the sleepy nodding off motion better but at some point you get too tired yk#especially when working with animation on procreate lmao#also I could improve the steam effect… but like I said#lazyyy#also wtf why does the gif format kill the colours??#anakin just out here nodding at the voices in his head#mozza draws
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I recently had the pleasure of seeing the Avatar the Last Airbender In Concert and it was so beautiful 😭🧡 but it also reminded me of the “duality of Aang” thing I did earlier this year, so I couldn’t resist making a sequel 🫶
#i feel like this works better in a carousel format like on IG and tiktok but alas#avatar the last airbender#aang#illustration#atla fanart
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Suddenly, it's December by margaux paul
#tubbo#tubbo fanart#qsmp#dsmp#not lore related! this quote just resonated with me and by proxy I will project that to my favourite characters :D#my art#something I've noticed is that my comic-style format has MUCH better flow here on tumblr than on twitter#much to think about#my comics
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well - webtoons is over, gang
#sci speaks#if everyone would please just read the blog at it's intended home on tumblr#and please stop getting me to waste my energy on all these other sites that i hate then that would be primo wonderful#tapas and webtoons are actual shitholes. convenient to read sure whatever. but i hate the format anyway#and how they treat their creators.#not to mention the way tapas gamifies their interface so you're like on a fucking gambling site?? like if temu were a webcomic service?#what happened to the internet being a free and fun place for anyone to post anything.#noo. copyright laws because we want to make money we can't just host anything out of the spirit of fun and freedom#what about the money??? what if we risk money??#internet used to be a better place. i hate the earth as it is right now. the internet is like a mine that corporations dug into.#and destroyed. right in front of my eyes.#it used to be a beautiful green pasture with wildlife roaming and now it has been flattened and turned into an ugly shopping mall.#the things i do for you guys who really. really wanted me to archive it somewhere else.#i''m not doing it anymore. it is here until tumblr dies or we all enentually die and all our efforts are lost to the sands of time.#nothing matters in a cosmic sense anyway. enjoy it while it's here.
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✦ Milk and Honey ✦
#I've been going through some of the pieces from the past few months#the oldest of these are from... late may early july I think? felt like making a little compilation to get a better overall picture#fixation has been strong this is just a fraction of them all#gay catholic dog era#own art#own characters#CanisAlbus#art#artists on tumblr#Vasco#Machete#anthro#sighthound#dogs#canine#animals#I think my personal favorites this far are the body heat piece and the bathtub scene#but their composition didn't work with this format so I left them out
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#had to adapt the last line to fit the format better#im sure someone has done this already#polls#zelzah speaks#i am indeed filled with woe
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WOLFCLAN: MOON 0
As an elder, our clan should have taken care of you. But now... You're the only one left to protect the kits. Hide in the mountains. Keep WolfClan alive. I grant you nine lives. Good luck, Shimmerstar.
moon 0: the clan is attacked by wolves. only shimmerice, an elder, and four kits make it to safety. the previous leader appears in shimmerice's dreams to promote them to shimmerstar, and charge them with keeping the young cats safe.
click to see the full size gifs!
if i continue the series i don't plan to make every update this big, or in the exact same style - this was just a trial run.
#clangen#wolfclan#moon 0#warriors#warrior cats#my art#credit to clangen for the sprites i used as 'talksprites' as well as the cave and starclan background#and also the nest and base for the sprite in the first gif but im reposting it. 4 images is a better format than 3
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Photo
#Interview with the Vampire#loudaniel#danlou#Louis de Pointe du Lac#daniel molloy#iwtv#iwtvedit#tvedit#Vampterview#*gif#truth and reconciliation#there are so many parallels between them in s1 but i'll probably wait for s2 to make it#it will be a huge project. idk how to fit it all#this gifset would work better in video format but i got no programs nor experience#flashing gif
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In the shape of you, something new.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#lan wangji#Better drawn mdzs#Yeah let's toss this in the 'mixed' category. Keeping you all on your toes with the quality of my work in this series.#I had to fire off some expectation-lowering shots to rebuild my energy.#I enjoy opportunities to experiment with formatting and challenge myself B*) I really like how this came out!#In this case; I have been thinking about this comic for nearly a year! The reunion scene!#The start of the festering! The longing LWJ feels contrasted against the reality that WWX has been fundamentally changed.#This is the shape of someone you knew. This is no longer the person you had in your head. Maybe that person never existed.#We build up expectations of who we want people to be - but they are never *who* that person is.#Loving the JC & LWJ parallels with this concept as well; they are both self-inflicted victims of pushing their expectations on WWX.#But we are who we are. We cannot become the idealized version of ourselves that lives in another person's head.#And I love how WWX comes back a little (a lot) horrifying. In his actions and appearance - he has changed. Maybe for the worst.
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good evening gigolas truthers
#lotr#lord of the rings#me (real)#gigolas#i love them#gimleaf#middle earth#lotr memes#this meme format is even better when you can’t tell who is who
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quick sketch with wayne and soms dancin'
#art#hylics#hylics wayne#hylics somsnosa#not ship art btw#what's up with all this empty space around you ask? i don't know#i posted this cropped on twitter and honestly i like it better cropped#but i'm too lazy to do it here again#ok nvm i cropped it a bit#i don't like square format I CROPPED IT AGAIN I'LL STOP OK
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ULTIMATE 2024 VIBES ✨
Yes babe, if your reading this it's because your destined to make some changes! It's time to level up and become the woman of your dreams.
Which goal/habit making affirmation speaks to your soul? Share your favorite and let's conquer it together!
ps. Are we besties yet? 🩷 Follow us on Instagram for the content you know and love, plus exclusive level-up guides, feminine tips, and fashion galore!
#small habits#habit formation#2024 moodboard#2024 vision board#new year better me#black women in luxury#black women in femininity#feminine energy#goals#black fitspo#black women affirmations#black girl affirmations#affirmations
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DA:TV info compilation
there's a lot of lil bits of info floating around. this post is just a compilation of various bits in one place.
The young griffon's name is Assan. [source] "assan" is elven for "arrow". as a certified -Assan-enjoyer, that makes me happy :> we'll see more of Assan in the weeks ahead. Edit: I forgot to add that Assan is a he. :)
The Gameplay Reveal tomorrow is going to be 20 minutes long now, not 15. [source]
down the line they will be showing the character creator a lot. CC is not being shown tomorrow. [source]
Michael Gamble confirmed being able to play Rook as an elf [source] and a Qunari [source]. here's an image of human Rook. Scylla Costa confirmed you can play as a dwarven Rook [source].
We will have the ability to change our companions' armor. [source]
Emmrich was compared to Vincent Price. [source]
the game is not Xbox exclusive. it's also coming out on PS5 and PC. [source]
Taash the dragon hunter's name is indeed related to the Qunlat word that means dragon: "ataashi". [source]
"Hopefully we put out information about romance options soon" [source].
Taash's pronouns are she/her [source].
Trick Weekes is the writer of Taash [source].
Mary Kirby is the writer of Varric and Lucanis. [source]
Derek Wilks did lots of cinematic designer work on Emmrich. [source]
John Epler is the writer of Bellara. [source]
these four images : one, two, three, four were all taken in-game (they are in-game-screenshots, not concept art pieces) [source].
#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: dreadwolf#dragon age 4#the dread wolf rises#da4#dragon age#bioware#video games#long post#longpost#felassan#Best Elf#this is probably a better format than a dozen posts with single images of things i think..#thanku to dreadfutures for sending 2 of these my way!#mj best of
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