#bens like my nephew at this point

[grakkul]

I’ve been listening to like 7 different video essays at work each day and I feel insane, wowow cinema

I’m also too close to reading Star Wars fanfic for someone who has only seen like 2 movies on middle school field trips. This can’t be it, I can’t betray my bestest friend and Ben obi wan like that for an andor and a rouge one video essay to do me in.

I have not gotten sick of them at all and I fear I require new ones each coming day

I am becoming more powerful

[stealingpotatoes]

some ppl very kindly loredumped abt the organa-solo kids for me so gonna put that + responses below the cut!! ↓

@erkhyan asked:

Don’t mind me, just dropping some Organa Solo kids lore, hopefully summarized enough. Anakin: both motivated and intimidated by the fact that his name was supposed to redeem that of his grandpa. Had his grandpa’s qualities (excellent pilot, great warrior, very strong in the Force) but none of his negative trait. Traumatized by being unable to save Chewie. Died a hero at age 16 during a successful mission to destroy a Jedi-killing weapon. Jacen: a big, empathetic goof as a teen, but was traumatized by the war that killed Anakin. The war and the trauma of Anakin’s death turned him into an introspective monk who went to learn weird non-Jedi Force powers. Returned, fathered a secret daughter, fell to the Dark Side because the Force told him that every timeline in which he’s not a Sith ends badly for his daughter. Became a Sith Lord by killing mara jade Skywalker. Eventually died when he found himself having to choose between saving his daughter from an Imperial plot, and dodging his sister’s lightsaber. Jaina: best pilot, best lightsaber user, best warrior, earned the nickname of Sword of the Jedi. Unfortunately, people mostly remember the fact that she was stuck in the world’s most annoying love triangle for two decades in-universe. And that time she processed the trauma of Anakin’s death by trying to seduce her Jedi Master. And that time she was in a bug hivemind that tried to solve her love triangle with a sexy threesome. And that time she went to train under Boba Fett so that she could kill Jacen in Luke’s stead. And also because the Jedi Order finally recognizing that she should have been a made a Master years ago, was almost the LAST thing that happened in the Legends continuity. Heavily implied that her husband would have eventually become Emperor (but a good one) if the continuity had been allowed to go on.

CHEWIE DIED??????????? also christ thats a lot to put on poor lil anakin jr-- ALSO AGAIN. POOR LEIA. HASNT SHE BEEN THRU ENOUGH (poor han too but LEIA)

WHY ARE THERE MORE STAR WARSES!!! LEAVE THEM ALONE!! a secret daughter hi i love those but AGAIN. POOR LEIA. A SITH. FR HE KILLED MARA JADE WHAT???????????? oh my god.

i support jaina's turboslaggery she's been thru so much also WHAT potential emperor husband????????? wow ok legends gets wilder n wilder

--------------

@novastargalaxydesigns asked:

I saw your Jacen, Jaina, and Anakin from Legends! And as someone who freaking adores that trio, I'd love to help point out a few things! In Legends of the Force, Jacen starts to affiliate himself with the Dark Side with his cousin, Ben, as his apprentice. Anakin was killed before the book, The Joiner King, and I didn't get the book that he was killed off in, but if I remember correctly, it was told in The Joiner King that he was killed during a mission as a fighter pilot. Jaina, in Legends of the Force I believe if I remember correctly, she gave up being a Jedi to be a pilot. I don't have all of the Legends of the Force books so I may be a bit spiffy on a few things. But we cannot forget Chewbacca's nephew, Lowbacca aka Lowie, and Jacen's childhood and teen hood crush, Tenel Ka whom is a princess and he accidentally cut her hand off with his new lightsaber during the book Young Jedi Knights Lightsabers. And Zekke who went to the dark side in the series Young Jedi Knights (I only got the first 3), but was redeemed. Anyone please correct my nerdiness if I'm wrong. But anygays, you has been educated by a fluffy bean. Had a lovely day!

JACEN CORRUPTS LUKE'S KID??????? HUH?????? CAN THE SKYWALKERS NOT CATCH LIKE. ONE SINGLE BREAK FROM THE DARKSIDE EVER???????? PLEASE

sorry all i can think w the tenel ka thing is:

-----------------------

@m0th-person asked:

To follow up on the solo kids ask, Jaina had a weird love life. Her love interest that she eventually married was Jagged Fel. He is the son of the former baron of the empire , Sootir Fel, and Syal Antilles-Fel (Wedge Antilles sister) . (a picture I found on Wookieepedia when he was imperial head of state, the white streak in the hair seems to be genetic) Jag grew up in Thrawn’s empire of the hand (and was grown up with the chiss expectations, that’s literally the second quote on his wookieepedia page)

he had 3 out of his 5 other siblings die. He eventually became the imperial head of state (he first lost to his rival political candidate for the role because abeloth messed with it) and flash forward to the legacy comics, his descendants have revamped the imperial remnant into the Fel Empire. It’s mostly believed that his descendants are also Jaina’s because both Roan fel and his daughter empress Marasiah Fel are both force sensitive. And Jacen Solo’s descendant , Ania Solo, says she’s a distant cousin of Marasiah. (Roan)

(Marasiah and her love interest) ( the imperial knights were grey Jedi that served the Fel empire) — and in legends Han actually had a family tree (ancestors, specifically, Jonash e solo (who was Corellian royalty and the admiral-prince during the old republic time period)) , and him and Jagged fel’s father used to rivals in the imperial academy. Darth Vader attended his class graduation and I only find this funny because Han became his son-in-law.

jaina was rlly living that booktok enemies to lovers life back in the 90s huh. go girl i love her and support her weird love life decisions so much

omg go han having fancy royalty ties <3 see hanleia IS politically advantageous

[saphronethaleph]

I'd Have Two Credits

The field was silent, and Mara Jade Skywalker was almost invisible.

She would have been completely invisible, hidden in the long grass, but her red hair was sort of a giveaway… still, it was close enough.

Then she shifted slightly, and fired her blaster rifle.

The skeet she was shooting only appeared after she’d pulled the trigger, and skeet and blaster bolt converged before vanishing in an explosion.

“Not bad,” Kyle said. “What does Luke think about this kind of thing, by the way?”

“Shouldn’t you have asked that before agreeing to help?” Mara replied, firing again. A second target flew across the range and exploded, and Mara smirked slightly.

She was sure her husband wouldn’t have a problem, not really. He’d grown up a farmboy using a blaster to protect himself, after all.

“Aunt Mara?”

“Safing the range,” Mara declared, flicking the safety onto her rifle.

“Confirmed,” Kyle agreed, from inside the bunker, and Mara rolled over onto her back.

“Hey there, Young Ben,” she added, smiling up at Ben Solo. “What brings you out here?”

The teenaged trainee Jedi looked serious.

“Aunt Mara, I’ve got a problem,” he said. “I… don’t know who to ask, but… can you help?”

Mara picked up her comlink.

“This sounds private, Kyle,” she said. “Sorry.”

“Copy that,” Kyle agreed. “I’ve got some training of my own to do, anyway.”

Mara flicked the switch off, and sat up.

“Okay,” she said. “What’s the problem?”

“I’ve got… suspicions,” Ben answered. “I feel like people are keeping something from me.”

“Yeah, probably,” Mara agreed.

Ben blinked.

“Huh?” he asked.

“You don’t know everything about my past,” she pointed out. “That’s because some of it is private. You don’t know everything about Kyle’s past, either. I don’t know if Kyle knows everything about his own father’s past… but what you’re actually saying is that you think people are keeping something important from you. Is that right?”

Ben nodded agreement.

“It’s something to do with me,” he said. “It’s when… Uncle Luke is talking about me. When my parents are talking about me.”

Mara frowned, thinking.

“I do know what it is,” she said. “And I also know why you haven’t been told yet, Ben… and it might have been a mistake, but here’s why you haven’t been told.”

She patted the grass next to her, and after a moment Ben sat.

They looked out together towards the skies of Ossus, and the Jedi Temple some kilometres away.

“It’s because they don’t want to put too much pressure on you,” she said. “There are some things which are too much strain to comfortably put on a child… and I say that as someone who had too much strain put on them as a child.”

“You turned out all right,” Ben muttered, almost accusingly.

“Eventually,” Mara conceded. “Eventually. But it took a long time, kid, and it’s an ongoing process too. I still wake up sweating in the night, because of the person I used to be… because of the weight that was put on me, by someone who wanted me to be a tool. Rather than to grow up as a child.”

“I still don’t think it’s fair,” Ben said. “I’m old enough to know.”

“Maybe you are,” Mara allowed. “But maybe you aren’t – and once you know something, you can’t unlearn it. Your family is keeping this from you, but it’s out of love… and Luke didn’t take it well when he learned something similar, and he was over twenty at that point. So it’s partly about making sure you learn in the right way.”

She shrugged. “But, hey. I’ll keep a close eye on you, and see if I come to a different opinion, okay? You are my favourite nephew.”

“I’m your only nephew,” Ben objected.

“Makes it an easy choice, doesn’t it?” Mara asked. “Doesn’t make it wrong, though.”

They sat in companionable silence for another minute or so, and an insect buzzed past with wings that droned deeply and resonantly.

“You’d never know there’d been a supernova blast hit this place thousands of years ago,” Mara said, then saw Ben’s expression.

“Aunt Mara,” the teen began, sounding like he wasn’t quite sure if he should ask. “What should I do if I hear… voices?”

“Voices how?” Mara asked.

“Talking to me,” Ben answered. “Suggesting things. Telling me things.”

“Well, in my experience, a voice in your head is usually Emperor Palpatine,” Mara told him. “Persistent bugger, too. Took five years after he died to finally get rid of that voice… but, fortunately for you, Ben, I’ve got experience in how to deal with that kind of voice.”

Ben didn’t say anything, but his expression looked relieved.

“If it’s about something horrible happening,” Mara began. “Like, an injury, or hurting yourself, you just think… yeah, that would suck. And then you keep going. If it’s telling you to do something, you think… do I actually want to do that? Will I still want it later?”

“And if it’s telling you something?” Ben checked.

“Then… best thing you can do is ask someone about if it’s true,” Mara replied. “But, you know, Ben… if a voice in your head tells you something that’s true, something you didn’t know, you know what that means?”

“...no?” Ben replied, frowning.

“It means you have every reason to think there’s an actual person, trying to manipulate you,” Mara said, her voice suddenly firm and her eyes very much like her maiden name. “And if it turns out that someone is trying to manipulate my nephew, I would very much like to know about it so I can ask them to stop. With a lightsaber.”

Ben was silent for about fifteen seconds.

“Is my grandfather Darth Vader?” he asked.

Mara promptly stood up.

“Right,” she said, and flicked the comlink on. “Kyle!”

There was a crash sound.

“What?” Kyle asked, sounding distracted. “I was getting the skeet shooter into position for testing my defence, and dropped it!”

“Never mind that now,” Mara replied. “Contact your friend Jan, we’ve got a force-user to track down and kill.”

“Right, right, on it,” Kyle replied.

That done, Mara crouched down again.

“Yes,” she said. “I wish you didn’t have to find out this way. Like I said, Luke didn’t take it well and he was over twenty at the time…”

[weirdwildwonderland]

How TUA should've ended

Lila and Five relationship-Lila and Five don't spend 7 years in the subway. They do get lost, but it's more like two years this time (whoever thought of 7 years was crazy). Two years is enough for Five and Lila to almost kill each other many times, enough for them to cry to each other one night and swear to never talk about it again. Enough for many bouts of food poisoning and starvation and cold nights when the train didn't show up. Enough for Lila to keep waking up with a sick feeling in her stomach because she keeps having dreams where she wakes up in her house, with Grace and the twins and Diego just downstairs. Enough for Five to stay awake as he wipes silent tears away because he's thinking of his siblings. The only ones who have been there for him. They find the strawberry timeline near the end of the two years, and it only makes them miss everyone more. There's a lump in Five's throat as he mutters something about how "wish we could've taken the idiots here" and Lila starts to cry, because something about this timeline is so warm and safe, because she would give ANYTHING to have a Saturday morning with her family again, Diego making her coffee, waking up the twins, reading to Grace. She finds a delicate silver bracelet on the floor of the greenhouse, and remembers how her father gave Grace a bracelet just like this when she was born, and that's when she breaks, and Five begrudgingly helps her off of the floor and pats her on the back. They find the notebook a few days later, and both of them well up as they ride the subway back. It's only been a few hours for the rest of them, and as Diego hugs Lila again, this guilty feeling wells up in her chest, because she remembers how they were before, how distant they had become. But he's still here, somehow. So they go inside and she starts crying when she sees everyone. Diego asks about the bracelet and Lila and Five exchange a look. You tell him. No, you. Diego asks if something has been going on, and it all comes out. Lila crumbles even more. Isolation does funny things to the emotions.

They all finish watching the dance of the sugar plum fairy before the news about Ben flashes onto the screen. It's the most peaceful hour or so of this whole fucked up week

2. They get swallowed by the cleanse.

3. And then they all wake up in the void. All of them are dazed and drained. The man on the TV is talking about shattered timelines (or something related to the themes of time in the show). God watches on her bicycle as they slowly figure out that they lost their powers again. Diego starts crying because he realizes Ben isn't there and Lila comforts him. Luther looks more worried about Diego than about the fact that they're dead. Allison, Klaus, and Viktor seem glad that their powers are gone. Five just looks happy that they're all still together. Klaus goes up to God.

He says something along the lines of "Hey, I'm happy that I can still come up here and all, but you need to get us back down somehow, because there's no way I'm spending all of eternity with THEM. Plus, I have nieces and a nephew and I hope they're...not up here too."

She says something like "They're not."

He stares at her.

She says "I think you're insufferable. I don't know anyone who comes up here multiple times and then goes back down."

"Look, God, I've had it up to HERE with my life so far, and I can say the same about all of them over there. But I've gone through some things recently, and it made me realize that I would really like to keep living it, if you wouldn't mind. And," he points at everyone "they have their reasons. And they deserve to live the rest of their lives out, too."

She stares at him. "I've had it up to here with you too. You know, I watch you down there, sometimes. I think you're better off there. Not up here, annoying me. Plus," she looks over at everyone else (they're freaking out/arguing etc) "it's too early for all of you to be here."

She picks 8 marigolds from her basket and plucks the heads off. They fall to the ground and new sprouts start coming up from the earth. "Whatever was in you, it's gone now." She looks over at everyone, annoyed. "Oh yeah, I forgot you need help to get back." She rolls her eyes.

"You know, you kind of remind me of my niece." Klaus says

She snaps her fingers

Cut to black again.

Cut to outside Diego and Lila's house. It's hot out, and they all wake up on the asphalt in their winter clothes. Everyone starts complaining about how hot it is. Diego gets up and knocks at the door. No one knows what day it is. For all they know, their kids could be teenagers now, and that scares him.

Someone bumps into Lila on the street, and it's the Handler. Only, she's not. She's just a normal woman talking on her cellphone, and she looks at Lila apologetically before continuing her conversation. A woman looks at Viktor and asks him if he needs help off the ground. It's Grace, and she's walking with a baby stroller. Viktor nudges Diego and they're both speechless.

The door opens, and Lila's mom answers. Lila bursts into tears and hugs her. Grace and Claire come to the door and Grace says something about "you didn't pick me up from camp on time, Mommy! And Coco's been crying for FIFTEEN minutes, that's what Grandma said. I think she misses you. Oh, and Ben (boy twin) broke a bowl, but Grandpa said it's okay" and Claire rolls her eyes and asks what they're all doing dressed in coats and tells them that they're all so weird. Grace turns to Claire and accusingly says "You never told me that grownups cry too." Klaus and Allison both burst into tears too, Luther and Viktor look like they're about to cry, and Five just looks the most relieved he's ever been in his life.

Lila's mom sighs and says "Come in, everyone. I don't want to know what you've gotten yourselves into now, but you look hungry. It's too hot out to cook, so you're eating the leftovers." Diego is still crying, but he starts to laugh. And then Five starts laughing too. And then the rest of them. Lila's mom tells them that they really need to get inside now before someone starts looking at them weird.

Cut to shot of all of them walking into the house, taking off their shoes, flopping onto the couch, hugging their kids, etc. Continue to "I think we're alone now" montage of all the side characters walking on the street living life as normal people.

POGO: On the twelfth hour of the 8th day of August, 2024, nothing out of the ordinary happened. You might say it was just a normal day.

Cut to black

Credits roll

Post credits scene

There's a knock on the door. Ben walks in looking dazed, holding Jennifer's hand. "What's up, assholes? I'm back!" he says, before everyone groans and the screen cuts to black again.

END S4E6

[bookcub]

Chappell Roan Book Rec

like many other, I am currently obsessed with The Rise and Fall of a Midwest Princess so here are a few book recs based on the songs!!

(you can message me for questions about content warnings!)

Femininomon

A Guest in the House by E. M. Carroll (horror graphic novel)

What happens when you marry a mediocre liar and there's a ghost you are definitely attracted to in the house (that might be his dead wife)?

Relevant lyric: Stuck in the suburbs, you're folding his laundry/Got what you wanted so stop feeling sorry

Bonus Rec: Romancing the Inventor by Gail Carriger (adult steampunk romance)

Red Wine Supernova

Satisfaction Guaranteed by Karelia Stenz-Waters (adult romance)

Imagine inheriting a sex toy shop with a enchanting stranger who you feel incredibly connected to. . .

Relevant lyric: I heard you like magic/I got a wand and a rabbit

Bonus Rec: Sunstone by Stjepan Šejić (adult romance graphic novel)

After Midnight

Ash by Malinda Lo (YA fantasy)

I had to choose a queer Cinderella for this one, especially one whose mother warns her away from the forest at night.

Relevant lyric: This is what I wanted, this is what I like/I've been a good, good girl for a long time now

Bonus Rec: A Restless Truth by Freya Marske (adult historical fantasy, sequel)

Coffee

The Witch's Heart by Genevieve Gornichec (adult fantasy)

When your ex is the trickster god Loki and you have prophetic futures, you know you can never just have coffee.

Relevant lyric: Here come the excuses that fuel the illusions/But I'd rather feel something than nothing at all,

Bonus Rec: Seven Days in June by Tia Williams (adult contemporary)

Casual

The Last Tale of the Flower Bride by Roshani Chokshi (adult gothic)

Remember that toxic homoerotic best friend you had a child? Who believed in magic and was also the most manipulative person you've ever met? It never was a casual relationship, was it?

Relevant lyric: Hate that I let this drag on so long, you can go to hell

Bonus Rec: Ben and Beatriz by Katalina Gamarra (adult romance)

Super Graphic Ultra Modern Girl

A Spindle Splintered/A Mirror Mended by Alix E. Harrow (adult fantasy)

Entering the fairy tale multiverse always leads to the strangest (and funnest) relationships (platonic and romantic) of your life.

Relevant lyrics: We're leaving the planet and you can't come

Bonus Rec: Cash Degado is Living the Dream by Tehlor Kay Mejia (adult contemporary)

HOT TO GO!

The Princess and the Grilled Cheese Sandwich by Deya Muniz (graphic novel)

What if I dressed up as a count to inherit my father's fortune and you were a princess and we both liked grilled cheese???

Relevant lyric: I could be the one, or your new addiction/ It's all in my head but I want non-fiction

Bonus Rec: Act Your Age, Eve Brown by Talia Hibbert

My Kink is Karma

Mrs. Martin's Incomparable Adventure by Courtney Milan (adult historical romance)

She said, let's destroy my terrible nephew's life, and how could you say no to such a romantic proposal?

Relevant lyric: Wishing you the best, in the worst way

Bonus Rec: Girl Serpent Thorn by Melissa Bashardoust (YA fantasy)

Picture You

A Lady for a Duke by Alexis Hall (adult historical romance)

Oops, I faked my death and reinvented myself and you were way more distraught than I thought you would be. . .

Relevant lyric: Do you picture me like I picture you?/Am I in the frame from your point of view?

Kaleidoscope

The Scapegracers by H. A. Clarke (YA urban fantasy)

What if we formed a coven and what if we were all a little in love with each other?

Relevant lyric: And love is a kaleidoscope/How it works we'll never know

Bonus Rec: The Girls I've Been by Tess Sharpe (YA thriller)

Pink Pony Club

The Prince and the Dressmaker by Jen Wang (graphic novel)

He was a drag queen, she was a seamstress, can I make it anymore obvious?

Relevant Lyric: And I heard that there's a special place/Where boys and girls can all be queens every single day

Bonus Rec: Last Night at the Telegraph Club by Malinda Lo (YA historical)

Naked in Manhattan

Astrid Parker Doesn't Fail by Ashley Herring Blake (adult romance)

Isn't it romantic, designing a house with someone with your entirely opposite tastes?

Relevant lyric: Boys suck and girls I've never tried

Bonus Rec: Girls Made of Snow and Glass by Melissa Bashardoust (YA fantasy)

California

Honey Girl by Morgan Rogers (adult contemporary)

If a PhD can't save you, maybe a drunken marriage in Vegas can?

Relevant lyric: Cause I was never told that I wasn't gonna get/The things I want the most

Guilty Pleasure

Something to Talk About by Meryl Wilsner (adult romance)

Fake dating your boss? 0/10 recommended. . . right?

Relevant lyric: I want this like a cigarette/Can we drag it out and never quit?

Bonus Rec: That Time I Got Drunk and Saved a Demon by Kimberly Lemming (adult fantasy romance)

Bonus:

Good Luck, Babe

Sorry, Bro by Taleen Voskuni (adult contemporary)

Relevant lyric: You'd have to stop the world just to stop the feeling

Ophelia After All by Racquel Marie (YA contemporary)

[the20thangel]

The Dragon and The Raven Chapter 14: Warging Lessons.

Chapter Summary: Benjoct begins his warg lesson, growing frustrated at the slow process when his dragon princess decides to provide stress relief services. A certain person from the past comes to visit in dreams.

Tags: Smut, 18+ NSFW, angstishFluff

Taglist: @poppyflower-22 @alastorhazbin @callsignwidow @whimsicalmystic02 @mercedesdecorazon @rhaenyrathecruelwithteats @ithilwen-blackwood

word count: 2.7K

Masterlist

Ben stared at his aunt and the lord of Winterfell before laughing, his cackles frightening the whole group. The only person who seemed not bothered by the young lord’s outburst was Jaesys, who, in turn, began cooing, looking at his father. Alysanne would have swooned at the scene if she weren’t so worried about her nephew’s reaction to their plan. The Blackwood lady turned to Princess Aemma, who was staring at her husband with slight worry but was trying to hide it. 

After a minute, Benjicot finally calmed down. 

“I’m sorry, but it seems so far-fetched; you want me to try something I have only read in books. We don’t know if I even have enough blood from the First Men…” 

Aemma squeezed his hand, making him pause and face her. 

“It wouldn’t hurt to try, right? Look at my family; we asked Dragonseeds to come and try to claim dragons to support us in the war… If my family can have magic to bond our dragons, why can’t yours have a different magic to warg into animals.” explained Aemma to her husband while caressing his cheek. 

Benjicot smiled, leaning into his wife’s touch. She had a point; he just didn’t want to get his hopes up in trying something that could potentially amount to nothing, but again, just like the Dragon seeds, the outcome would never be certain unless he tried. Nodding, he turned to Cregan, letting him know that he was willing to try to learn how to warg. 

Cregan beamed, “Great! Using a raven or crow from Blackwood Lands would work best because they will sense a familiarity with you.” 

Aemma grew excited as she answered for Ben, “You can use my raven, Ben, the one you gave me when we started courting.” 

Benjicot smiled at her, placing a chaste kiss on her cheek as he stood with Cregan. Both lads eagerly wanted to start the process, Leaving Aly with the princess and little heir. 

After allowing a small moment of solitude to pass, Aly moved to sit next to the princess. As she finally allowed Jaesys to return to his mother’s arms, she asked how the princess was doing. 

Aemma nuzzled her baby, smiling as he cooed. She turned to answer Aly,  “Okay, there are days when I just want to wallow in my grief, but thankfully, Ben and Jaesys are always there to bring me out. Ben has also been amazing in being so hands-on with our son…truthfully it surprised me. As far as I knew, lords tend not to be so hands-on, but then again, many people also expected me just to hand my baby to a nursemaid.” 

She knew the greens were surely like that; she saw how out of touch Alicent was with her children.  Her mother rightfully criticized the green queen for that. 

Aly smiled as she replied, “Ben was always excited to have children; he would always take time to play with the children of the village and our younger cousins; he had more patience than Davos.” 

Bringing up Davos opened a wound in Aly; it had not even been a full year since her brother's and eldest nephew’s death. She knew Davos would have made an amazing uncle, adoring Jaesys with so much attention and gifts. He also would have enjoyed teasing his shy younger twin endlessly for wooing a Targaryen princess, but alas, fate was cruel in the form of Brakens. 

Aemma smiled, knowing the ghosts of their loved ones were close; grabbing her hand, the princess and lady leaned on each other, quietly reminiscing about their families. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As the days passed, Benjicot spent many grueling hours reading and practicing the process of warging, but so far, nothing seemed to make process. It was frustrating for him; he wanted to support Aemma but felt like he was failing so far. He was also growing upset, having to place most of his lordly duties on Aly and Aemma while he trained with Cregan. Both women didn’t seem to complain, but Benjicot knew that putting all the engagements to them was unfair, especially since Aemma herself was taking her lessons from her father, preparing for the announcement from the Queen proclaiming Aemma as the new official heir to the Iron Throne. 

Rushing into his tent after another day of failure, he grabbed his cloak and threw it to the ground in frustration. Sighing from mental exhaustion, he sat tiredly on the bed, rubbing his hand up and down his face and trying to cool off. The rustling of the tent’s entrance made him look slightly up as he and his princess walked in wearing mostly red today. Warmth spread in Benji’s stomach; he always felt like this whenever Aemma decided to wear red instead of fully black. She looked gorgeous, and he was greatly considering asking a seamstress to make a dress for the princess that would have ravens and dragons embroidered just like their son. 

As the princess walked in, she noted her husband's mood, quietly sitting beside him and taking his hand into her own. After a moment of the two sitting in quiet peace, Ben raised their intertwined hands and kissed Aemma’s hand. Smiling, Aemma turned to her love, raising her other hand to move some of his hair from his forehead. 

“How was your day today?” asked the dragon princess, frowning slightly as Ben huffed quietly. 

“Frustrating… I just can’t seem to grasp how to warg… all I seem to be doing is growing headaches,” explained Benjicot as he felt his frustration coming back. 

Aemma moved closer to him, knowing he was placing so much pressure on himself. 

“It will come; just don’t push yourself too much. I don’t want this process to hurt you; skin changing can become dangerous.” pleaded Aemma. 

Ben shook his head, “I want to support you, be your eyes in the air; I want to prove to you and everyone how much I can bring into our marriage…” 

Aemma kissed him before she replied, “Yes, but what good will come if my husband ends up injuring himself because he constantly pushed himself beyond his limits? Warging is a skill; you have magic in your blood, as I do, but the magic needs to be trained, just like how I built my dragon riding skills. I was born with the magic to bond with dragons and ride them, but I did not magically wake up with a strong bond between Sliverwing and me. I worked hard for years with her to build our bond; there were days I was too frustrated, but my father and mother both made me realize that forcing skills to appear quickly was not the route to go; it would have only hindered my bond and caused serious repercussions. So be patient, my love; your hard work will come to fruition.” 

Benjicot sighed, knowing his dragon princess’s words to be true. He kissed her back briefly before separating himself from her and asking for Jaesys. 

“Daemon has him, says that the Blackwoods have been hogging him for too long, and the boy also needed to know his Targaryen roots. His words, not mine,” replied Aemma as she stood from the bed, walking behind Benjicot and placing her hands on his shoulder. 

Mischievous, the princess smirked, pressing her body to her husband. She began messaging his tense shoulders, causing the raven-haired lord to groan. Leaning to his ear, Aemma whispered. 

“Besides, I felt you were going to be tense, so I decided to use this free time to release you from any tension.” 

Benjicot blushed slightly at his wife’s words. Determined not to falter, he decided to play on. “Oh, and what plans do you have, wife? Will you serve me on your knees and-” 

Ben sharply inhaled, seeing Aemma knee before him, and spreading his legs open. Aemma placed her hands on each thigh, squeezing them a little, making sure to keep eye contact as she replied. 

“What a wonderful idea, husband. Let me serve you tonight.” 

With that, she reached forward and grabbed Ben’s clothed cock messaging it and squeezing it for a moment before she freed it from his clothed restraints. She stared at it as it slowly started to harden and rise. Spitting in her hand, she grabbed his rod again, moving her hands in a circular motion and up and down. 

Ben groaned, spreading his legs farther, allowing Aemma to come closer to him as she spat on him, squeezing his cock before continuing with her motion. Once she knew he was fully erect, she leaned her mouth to him, placing a kiss at the tip before dragging her tongue slowly down to his base and enjoying his loud groan from his mouth. 

Benjicot felt like he was in paradise with an angel. As he placed his hand on Aemma’s head, he entangled his fingers in her sliver waves, tugging a bit, which prompted the princess to lick upwards before taking him into her mouth. 

“Fuck Aemma!” exclaimed Ben as he felt her warm mouth around him. 

Aemma smiled. Hearing her name coming out of his mouth in a pleasurable tone, she continued her attention to him, moving her head up and down and swirling her tongue around him like he was a sweet candy. She moaned, feeling his hands grip her hair harder, pushing himself deeper into her mouth. She begins feeling wetness pool under her. 

At hearing her moan, Ben began panting, feeling his release coming fast like a train; as he tried to pull her off, it only caused her to suck harder, which pushed him to the edge. Letting a loud grunt, he released himself in her mouth. Opening his eyes, he moaned loudly, seeing how his beautiful wife swallowed every single drop. She looked so angelic, her purple eyes slightly hooded, staring at him. With a smile, Aemma released him with a loud pop, kissing the tip again before she moved up and sat on his lap. 

“How was that for you, my love.” She whispered, wrapping her arms around his neck.

Ben chuckled as he, too, wrapped his arms around her waist, dragging her body closer to him, causing her to grind on him. Both lord and princess quietly moan at the sensation. 

“Wonderful, you are a divine, sweet girl; now let me return the favor.” He stated as he kissed her hungrily. 

Aemma moaned again, allowing her raven lord to push his tongue into her mouth and explore the inside of her mouth. Still feeling mischievous, she lightly sucked on his tongue, which prompted him to growl in pleasure as he retreated slightly. Before she could tease him, she squealed when she felt him bite her neck. Her squeal quickly turned into moans again at feeling him attack her neck with love bites. 

Gasping, Aemma began to grind herself on him, feeling her husband’s cock awaken again. She moaned, feeling him against her. As much as she wanted him inside of her, she remembered the caution from the midwives: she shouldn’t lay with her husband until 3 moons after giving birth. Jaesys was barely turning two moons. 

“Ben, we can’t; the midwives warned against laying with you until Jaesys is 3 moons,” she whispered, although she didn’t want to stop. 

Ben kissed her again before replying, “I don’t have to be inside you to make you find your release angel. Take off your small clothes; I promise I won’t enter inside you.” 

Aemma, slightly confused, raised herself and did as was told. Once she removed her small clothes, she gasped at Benjicot’s stronghold, roughing, pulling her back onto his lap. She whimpered, feeling his stiffness nestle in between her folds. Ben placed his head on her neck, licking her neck and huffing as he felt her slick wetness coating him. Placing his arms around her waist, Ben began to move his princess, allowing his cock to slide in between her lower lips, savoring her moans and gasps. 

Aemma closed her eyes in pleasure, wrapping her arms around Benjicot’s head as she, too, began to move and grind herself on him, enjoying the feeling of him sliding. 

“Mmmhm, yes, Ben, just like that,” she whispered, for she only wanted him to hear how good she felt. 

Ben, wanting to hear more, began to roughly and faster grind himself to her, grunting at how much wetter she began. She was gorgeous, and she was his, and he was hers. No other man will ever compare to him, and no other woman can hold a candle to her. They were made for each other, and both princess and lord knew that thought to be entirely true. They were always meant to find each other. 

“Please, Ben, please..” Aemma began to plead, moving her hips faster, wanting to bring her release faster. 

“Please, my love, I can’t give you something I don’t know.” Ben taunted, although he, too, was coming close to his second release. 

“Make me undone…I need your release; I need you to bring me to ecstasy,” commanded Aemma, leaning her hips as she felt like she was going to burst. 

“Go ahead, sweetling. I will never deny you,” assured Ben, groaning as he and Aemma simultaneously allowed their release to flow over them. 

Both moaned at the sensation, holding on to each other until their ecstasy soothed over, panting. Both stayed frozen, smiling at each other. 

After a moment, Aemma kissed Ben sweetly, playing with the hairs on the back of his neck. Smiling at the kiss, Ben caressed her face. Allowing each other to feel their love for each other. 

“We should probably bathe before someone comes with Jaesys; I’d rather not see my father with our fluids still on us.” proposed Aemma, rising from his lap. 

Benicot laughed but silently agreeing he did not need to give his good father an excuse to stab him. Taking his wife into his arms, he walked them both to the bathing section of their tent. 

As the night progressed, Daemon finally returned the baby to his parents, wishing them goodnight as the young family prepared for bed. Jaesys snuggled in his bassinet, and the babe cooed in his sleep. Aemma snuggled into her husband, breathing in his scent as she allowed the realm of dreams to welcome her. Lastly, Ben, too, entered the realm of dreams. Two ravens flying around him welcomed him as one landed before him. Benjicot’s eyes widened, seeing the raven transform into his twin. His shock grew as the second raven flew down, Jaesys transforming out and landing in his uncle's arms. Davos smiled at the babe, tickling the baby as he turned to his younger twin. 

“Look at you, snagging a Targaryen princess, aye,” smirked Davos, watching as Benjicot openly gaped at him.

“What, the dragon got your tongue, Ben? Close your mouth before a fly enters; I don’t think my good sister would appreciate that.” Davos laughed as Benjicot glared at him. 

“How…what… how are you here? Where am I?” asked Ben. 

Davos shrugged, placing his nephew back in his father's arms. “Not sure, this could be your dreams or the realm in between; regardless, the old gods have decided to be generous with me and allow me to meet my nephew; he's a handsome bugger, isn’t he…a proud Blackwood, he will grow into.” 

Benjicot smiled, slightly agreeing with his twin: “He has Targaryen qualities, too; he has his mother’s eyes.” 

Davos nodded; the Blackwood genes were beautifully enhanced thanks to the Targaryen's otherworldly beauty in his nephew. 

As the twin brothers continued making small takes, Davos felt his time was coming to a close. As he expressed his thoughts, Benjicot frowned. He was not ready to let go of his twin. 

Davos chuckled, walking to his twin and hugging him. Benjicot was always the sweeter of the two. 

“We are proud of you, Ben; Mother, Father, and I are all proud. You will lead our house to glory. You will be the first in generations to warg, allowing our allies and enemies alike to see the true power of having the blood of the first men. Continue on your path, brother; you will be successful. 

Sniffing, Benjicot smiled tearily at his twin, knowing their time was up. Walking away from the young father and son, Davos smiled. 

“Tell your princess I thank her for honoring our customs and that her brothers are safe with their families.” 

Ben gaped at the words. Nodding, he stared in awe as his brother transformed into a raven again, taking flight and flying away from father and son, with sweet little Jaesys cooing, his purple eyes following as the blackbird became smaller and smaller in the distance.

[daftmooncretin]

rip to rian johnson but star wars sequels would be way better if ben solo was just kinda cowardly and han solo coded so he defected from the jedi and went to be a fun swashbuckling anarchist space cowboy instead

and finn and poe have to find him and try to convince him to come back to the rebellion but hes afraid who he is and what he could become

also instead of luke trying to kill his nephew for NO REASON (so insanely out of character it boils my blood) he just realises after ben dips thats hes not cut out for teaching. and is living on a mandalorian colony as rebellion liason/ambassador with chewie and sometimes lando i guess (din djarin is there) he aids the rebellion (because of course he would fuck that plotline) but he wont stay on the rebel base because he doesnt like all the chosen one clout and mandalorians are very chill and mind their own business

han and leia are still together and play active parts in the rebellion because fuck that plotline too although they do disagree about the ben situation (leia is annoyed and han is understanding) poe and ben childhood friends and for what.

in this au, rey is raised in the empire and is a sith lord but she has doubts and isnt as abjectly disgusting as kylo ren because of course not. (appears slightly too interested in the rebellion when poe is captured and maybe??? possibly lets finn and poe escape but thats up for debate.) rey gets more evil over course of movies before turning to light for plot drama and a satisfying zuko arc.

force awakens timeline

prophecy that a new jedi will rise and take down the dark side. rey and sith lord (dk who but fuck snoke im writing him out) assume it is the missing ben solo (its finn and rey tho fr) and are intent on finding him. movie opens on rey being evil probably and capturing poe. also finn as a character actully needs no real changes hes great. and then next scene space pirate ben solo doing his thing (but without identity revealed so we dont know who he is yet he may go by kylo because funny)

instead of luke poe has a lead on missing almost-jedi before he dipped ben solo and is searching for him on leias orders.(rebellion also believe the prophecy is about him. but nuh uh) torture scene and escape scene doesnt need to change but show reys nuances and how lost she is.

in the interest of narrative poe and finn still crash on tatooine but finn manages to pull poe out of the crash. (finn still gets the jacket at some point because i say so) poe is too injured to fly so they seek out help and and meet ben solo who saves them from pirates or something idk. (but neither know who the other is)

finn and poe convince ben solo to be their pilot still thinking hes a random smuggler named kylo. they get along very well, especially finn and ben. rey by this point is tracking their whereabouts

they end up on that lightsaber planet and ben gets the weird darth vader nightmare and freaks out, (hes afraid of being evil or something idk) poe is getting suspicious now also finn feels the force and takes up the lightsaber. rey comes and finn trys to hold her off. finn get hurt and drops lightsaber. ben is forced to take it up and his identity is revealed as rebel reeforcements led by han and leia arrive and they see him fighting. rey and ben have a weird charged moment (yes i guess i am still making reylo a thing but its reyben now and its woke so shh) and in a dramatic desperate effort he manages to knock her lightsaber away with the force. poe crawls into a plane at somepoint and blows up reys ship. the rebels destroy the stormtroopers but rey captures finn and escapes in a stolen ship.

ben has a oh-shit-i-said-id-never-use-the-force-again related existential crisis which makes him freak out and leaves. a distraught finn-less poe calls him a coward. poe picks up the discarded lightsaber and the jackettm and sadly packs them up. leia tells him about the starkiller and poe volunteers to go on the starkiller and save finn. han and leia have a sweet moment and han decides to go with poe on the suicide mission, chewie goes too.(chewie arrived at somepoint i guess)

mid hostage situation finn blocks reys force attempt and shes shook up. he sees something in her (finn is a beautiful sweetheart) and he trys to appeal to her. she force chokes him and books it out of there. but it is clear she fears him a little. he escapes with mind tricks and runs into han poe and chewie on the deck. finnpoe moment fr. poe gives him his jacket back in order to get the keep it it looks good on you line.

meanwhile ben is back on his ship(i guess its the falcon?) and he thinks about finn and his mom and luke or something.. a dream maybe?? idk something emotional and motivational for his arc. and he goes to a box under the floor in his ship and pulls out a green lightsaber. he turns the ship around.

on the ship poe finn han and chewie are planting the bombs and escaping when they get stopped by stormtroopers ordered by rey. poe is about to be shot by a big droid thing when it is cut in half by ben wow big reveal hes here oooo ah. rey is shot in the shoulder by chewie and angrily orders more stormtroopers. they cant take them all. han sacrifices himself by blowing up the bridge. he tells finn and poe to find luke in the mandolorian colony ben is distraught him and han have an emotional goodbye he tells him to tell leia he’s sorry and that he loves him and he proud of him then he makes chewy get ben out of there and he blows himself up. leia senses it v sad rip man but he had to die to intensify plot drama

rey chases them onto the ice planet and another weird charged moment. mind link established??? this time ben is too angry and grieving though so its not a good match and she wounds him real bad all over hes v scarred now. poe shoots at rey and throws lightsaber at finn. he gets ben onto the ship and finn and rey have the big force awakens show down. finn uses the force v powerful all that jazz the good guys get away. on the ship finn mentions how he felt a connection with rey to poe and claims he sees good in her

movie ends with meeting luke on mandolore. ben is very traumatised wont really speak to finn or poe and avoiding luke. finn returns lukes lightsaber and rey has doubts movie over. movies ends with ominous rey ben mind link

final notes (on first movie and overarching rewrite plans)

finn

finn is the protagonist of this movie so it would be much more character heavy on him them the original. more in depth on his stormtrooper trauma, how he always chooses the people he loves over the cause and his reluctance to join the rebellion. his friendship with poe and the han/leia parallel’s especially. relationships with han and ben important for his character exposition and he plays a key role in supporting both rey and bens character progression. possesses the strong sense of mercy and kindness at the heart of the star wars franchise.

rey

rey is raised in the first empire and does not know anything different. when she meets finn who was able to rebel and escape from the same system she is trapped in she becomes plagued by doubts and projects all of her hatred and resentment onto finn to compensate, but it is clear she fears him. to escape from her doubts she fixates on finding and capturing ben solo imagining him to be a frightening and terrible adversary. however when she meets him they see eachothers minds, and she sees how plagued by doubt and fear he is, how he runs from everything and he sees her too. they connect and develop a strange mutual fascination/understanding. this is put askew by finns appearance at the end of the movie in defence of ben. reys fear of finn increases when she sees the true extent of his power. she fears and hates equally finns strength of character and easy goodness and by extension hates ben for his alliance with finn. she blames finn for “taking” ben from her.

ben solo

kylo ren is a disgusting blight on the star wars names so ben solo is being completely reclaimed by me into a different character because i fucking hate that stupid pretentious eboy. instead ben solo is an incredibly han solo coded character with a heart of gold and deep love and loyalty to his friends and family. his main weakness as a character in this rewrite is his fear and lack of self belief. ben is terrified of being a jedi and of his own power. he fears his own nature and was so afraid he would become his grandfather that he ran from the jedi altogether. ben solo is a runner that wont face his problems, he runs from the jedi and from his parents to avoid failing or becoming something terrible. finn and ben recognise the need to run in eachother (although important distinction finn runs because he doesn’t want to fight for a cause. and ben runs because hes afraid he will be the reason the cause fails) and ultimately encourage eachother to break the cycle and stand their ground (well finn motivated ben in this movie, finns not fixed yet.) Bens arc in these movies is about learning to live with his own nature and fighting for what he believes in despite his fear. also dealing with mommy issues (ben is kind of jealous of poe and leias relationship the son she wanted or something blah blah blah etc) and being a malewife to his murder girlfriend. his job is kind of to support and fight with finn and later rey and help them save the world

finnpoe (will be a gay couple)

their friendship will be front and centre in these movies because they represent duty vs personal loyalty. poe puts the cause above all else and values his own life and personal relationships little. finn on the other hand is disillusioned with establishment cause of stormtrooper trauma and wants to protect himself and others from it. poe is the first person that finn truly bonds with and loves. he puts poe above everything, including being a jedi and the rebellion. this leads to a lot of fighting and discord between finn and poe as finn doesn’t understand how important the rebellion is to poe and poe doesnt get why finn is trying to protect him from it. ultimately though poe teaches finn faith and belief and finn teaches poe to accept love and value himself. (also many hanleia parallels) the two of them are the harbingers of a new age. poe as future leader of the new republic and finn as the jedi messiah or whatever. in terms of romance, im thinking slowburn. baity first movie, kiss at the end of the second and established relationship by the halfway mark of the third.

also when rey eventually joins the light in the beginning she refuses to talk to ben (cause of romantic drama i havent thought of yet but centres around some sort or betrayal in the second movie) or finn (because hes her narrative foil and slow burn best friend forever) so her first friend is poe and she kind of follows him around in her first few months before she eventually bonds with finn 4eva. her poe shadowing has lots of cute friend moments where they fly together and he tries to talk her down about finn and the ben drama but also more importantly it foreshadows her leadership ability and tactical mind as she gives him advice and aids him with the rebellion behind the scenes (also leads to leia taking rey under her wing probably because poe is her surrogate son and mirror) which will eventually lead to her and poe leading the republic together because in my mind rey is a jedi but actively a member of republic government because ben can’t do politics and finn won’t but shes great at it so she’d be a perfect jedi liason and vice president to poe. meanwhile finn and ben lead the jedi. finn as a knight travelling across the galaxy and ben as a teacher. (luke is happy in retirement rn on mandalore but leia is still probably an advisor in the republic because retirement is definitely not for her) and everyone is happy the end. force ghost han solo is clapping.

[itsanerdlife]

Wicked Intentions 9

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Stark!Reader // (Seriously close) Steve Rogers x Reader // Clint Barton x Reader // T’Challa x Reader.

Warning: Violence. Language. Bullying. Girl Fights. Name Calling. Degrading Comments. Angst. Degrade of Woman (to a point). Criminal Life. Illegal Shit. Fights. Alpha Males. Stalking.

Characters: Peter Stark. Howie Stark. Bucky Barnes. Steve Rogers. Clint Barton. TC (T’Challa). Ben Reilly. Cledus Kasady (CK). Brock Rumlow. Gwen Stacy. Wanda Maximoff. Becca Barnes. Amore Lorelei. Kitty Pryde. Frank Castle. George Barnes. Joe Rogers. Winni Barnes. Pepper Stark. Wade Wilson. Eddie Brock. Warner Strucker. Barney Barton. Bobbi Morse. Pietro Maximoff. Logan.

A/N: This is a Bully Romance. High School setting. Mafia Family Life. Woman are on a lower level than males in their world. Just a heads up. This is the third installment of the series. Bad Intentions, Cruel Intentions, and Wicked Intentions.

Credit: Huge shout out to @ml7010 for all the help, pushing, hyping up, putting up with my changes midway through. If it wasn't for this peach, y'all never would have gotten this series or nearly as far as I am now.

He sits, glaring.

Pietro is twirling his fiancée around the dance floor. The two of them laughing close together.

“Don’t do it.” Peter chuckles sitting down next to him.

“Give me one good reason.” He cuts his glare to his soon to be brother-in-law.

Peter sighs. “Pietro is a big cat in the game. You don’t need that smoke. We don’t need it with all we have going on with our sisters.”

Bucky cuts his eyes towards the two.

“Not enough of a reason.” Bucky shrugs, standing up.

“Oh. Oh!” Peter jumps up with him. Hurrying after him.

He closes in on the two. Pietro stops dancing, hand on the small of Y/N’s back, she looks almost smug. Pietro cuts his eyes between the two of them.

“Oh!” Peter cuts between Bucky and Pietro. “Hey now.” Peter pats him on the chest, a little out of breath.

“Problem?” Pietro asks in his stupid Russian accent.

Peter cuts him off before he can speak. “Buck here, was just hoping to get a moment of your time, have a small conversation.” Peter fast talks.

Y/N rolls her eyes. He glares at her.

“Of course.” Pietro removes his hand from Y/N stepping away. Peter stays between them till Pietro is a few steps away.

“Problem?” Y/N sasses him, folding her arms over her chest.

He chuckles. “You’re next.” Following Pietro.

Peter sighs, dropping his head back. “Come on, you can’t just not do this to me?”

“You act like I don’t know how Gwen got pregnant.” Y/N laughs, hearing her heels walking away.

“It’s different you’re my baby sister!” Peter calls after her, before hurrying after him. Once they’re through the side doors to the sitting room, something like a lobby or waiting room, off the ballroom the reception is being held in.

He unbuttons his suit jacket, pulling it off, he tosses it at Steve. Pietro meets the center of the room, turning to face him. Bucky’s fist follows through, decking Pietro in the jaw.

“Really?!” Peter huffs behind him. Bucky shakes his hand out, adjusting his button-down sleeves.

“He had his hands on my fiancée.” He glances at Peter.

Pietro rubs his jaw, opening and closing his mouth for a moment, working his jaw. “Hella, swing you got there Barnes.” He nods.

“Can you imagine what their kids will get?” Clint’s brows jump up.

Steve and Peter stop, staring into space.

“Oh fuck.” Steve whispers.

“People are going to die.” Peter breathes.

The door opens and Howie steps in, late to the party.

“What did I miss?” He looks around.

“We’re having nightmares about the swing our nieces or nephews will get between their parents.” Steve catches him up.

Howie stops in his tracks thinking about that. “Oh fuck.” He spoke softly.

“Apparently people are going to die.” Bucky rolls his eyes.

Howie shrugs, joining the others on the side. “Smalls, right hook, your follow through, yeah they might actually kill someone.”

“Barneys going to love your family.” Clint chuckles softly.

“He already does.” Peter, Howie and Bucky comment together.

“So, you’re the one.” Pietro smirks, turning their attention to him.

“Marrying the woman you just had your hands on? You’re fucking right.” Bucky replies with irritation.

“Oh shit, I missed a lot.” Howie mumbles.

Pietro chuckles softly for a moment. “I meant the one Satan will be tormenting to death for life.”

Bucky’s head tips. The guys next to them all slowly nod in agreement.

“Does she still run around beating people up?” Pietro wonders.

“She starts before nine in the morning some days.” Clint sighs.

Pietro chuckles.

“How do you know that?” Bucky asks.

“She has been my twin sisters’ best friend since they were little.” He explains. Bucky looks from Pietro to the twins.

“Don’t worry they barely know me.” Pietro sighs. “Wanda has been kept from the business, unlike your Satan.” He waves his hand to the side.

“Wanda is a wife?” The three of them gap at him for a moment.

Pietro chuckles. “Shocking, yes. For best in our line of business.”

“What line?” Steve wonders.

“Drugs.”

“How is she married to Sam?” Clint’s brow drops down.

“That was a conversation I was hoping to have with some Stark’s.” Pietro looks to her brothers.

“We work for Smalls.” Peter shrugs.

“And she’s going to be a Barnes.” Bucky corrects.

Pietro nods slowly. “Perhaps we can talk?”

Buck looks from him to the guys. They nod.

“Fine.”

Together they all take a seat settling in.

“Wilson was not the first pick for my sister.” Pietro starts. “Someone else showed interest and pushed hard for her.”

“Who?” Peter asks.

“Someone you boys know and dislike. Eddie Brock.”

Its silent for a moment.

“Eddie put a bid in on Wanda?” Steve leans forward.

Pietro nods.

“How does Eddie know your sister?” Clint wonders.

“Maximoff’s run drugs, Eddie is a seller.” Howie explains for them.

“Oh shit.” Steve whispers.

“Wait, wait.” Buck puts his hands up. “The story, from when your sister and I started out. You messed up a deal for a pipeline, for Eddie. That got Gwen’s dad killed, and you guys sent to reform.”

“See Eddie wants to be a big cat.” Peter sighs. “He needs a line, to funnel more drugs, to be a top supplier to smaller dealers. He gets from the Maximoff’s and wants to hold over the smaller timers.”

“He needs a line to do that. That connects him to smaller dealers, in other areas.” Steve nods slowly.

“To make good without the line, he would have to marry your sister.” Clint connects.

“I denied his bid.” Pietro nods. “I picked Wilson, because of his tie to The Brothers.”

The three of them look to the twins.

“You know Sam from before?” He asks.

They nod. “We do business with Sam’s father, and now Sam.”

“Now Sam? He’s already taken over?” Clint wonders.

Howie nods. “His father passed just after his promising to Wanda.”

“Shit.” Bucky breathes, unable to imagine.

“We had no idea.” Steve shakes his head.

“Not many know.” Peter assures them. “He doesn’t talk about it. That’s just how his father was. We do shipments with the Wilson's.”

“Shipments?” Bucky wonders.

“Heavy weapons.” Howie replies.

“Is there anything the Stark’s aren’t involved in?” Steve smirks.

“Weapons, drugs, underground fights, laundering, money, the table.” Clint grins.

“Been busy boys?” Pietro smirks.

“Smalls created her own mafia.” Peter grins. “We got into bed with The Saintz. Opened a lot of channels.”

“Perhaps there’s room for another?” Pietro glances around.

The four look over at him. He takes a breath, nodding slowly. “Touch my fiancée again, and your body will be in a shipment back to homeland.” He settles a look on Pietro.

Pietro grins at him. “No wonder she picked you. You two will make a ruthless couple.”

“Make? They already are one.” Peter sighs.

“Literally.” Steve shakes his head.

Bucky smirks, shrugging. “We’re not that bad.”

“We’ve seen our baby sister lick you, over a girl watching you.” Howie points out.

“I broke John Walkers arm for touching her for you.” Clint comments.

“You killed CK, for trying to take her.” Steve snorts.

“She smashed up Sina for touching you.” Peter nods slowly.

Bucky grins as they stand up, licking his lips he chuckles. “And you wonder why I won her in the bid?”

“Like anyone else had a chance.” Clint laughs.

“We would have burned the town down if she didn’t get her way.” Howie sighs.

“It worked out for more than her though, you’re marrying his sister are you not?” Pietro looks to Howie as they head for the doors.

“Yeah of course, we just, we were talking about them.” He splutters.

“Howard.” Bucky pauses, but Howie is out the door hurrying away from them.

“Did I say something?” Pietro wonders.

Peter sighs. “No, he’s going through something.” Hurrying after his brother.

“Another promise broken.” Y/N sasses as she walks past them.

The four of them exchange a look, three laugh.

“Excuse me boys, I have Chaos to wrangle.” He takes his suit jacket from Steve, heading for his fiancée.

“Oh no you don’t.” He chuckles, catching up to her, he grabs her waist, shifting her and tossing her over his shoulder.

“Boss man!” She gasps.

“You’re going to yell at me and I’m going to kiss you till you shut up.” He chuckles, walking out the of the reception with her over his shoulder. He passes Tony and his father, together they laugh.

“No take backs. She’s yours.” Tony calls after him.

“Hey!” She huffs loudly. He laughs harder, heading into the hotel hall.

---------- Everything Peaches 12/8/22 @mo320 @ml7010 @babizza @kmc1989 @joannie95 @coley0823 @rileyloves5 @sexyvixen7 @duckestylez @abschaffer2 @drayshadow @shirukitsune @xoxabs88xox @carostar2020 @rosalynshields @hookslove1592 @royal-sunflower @iwillbeinmynest @bellamy-barnes @geeksareunique @happydeanpotter @fanfic-n-tabulous @steel-blue-eyess @mariekoukie6661 @bless-my-demons @notyourtypicalrose @lets-talk-about-xyz @loving-life-my-way @shinycupcakebaker @also-fangirlinsweden @stupendous-science @daughterofthenight117 @dandelionsmarkthegrave @physically-a-cheesecake @letsgetfuckingsuperwholocked

Bucky 'Fuck Me Up' Barnes: @nickyl316h @jbbarnesgirl @lets-roggerthat @this-is-mycrisis @kaylaphantomhive

Series tags: @sebastians-love @otterlycanadian

[hannagoldworthy]

WARNING: POSSIBLE SPOILERS FOR STAR WARS LEGENDS

One take I regularly see from the “Jedi Critical” corner of this fandom always manages to baffle me: “In Legends, Luke Skywalker corrected the mistakes of the dogmatic Jedi Order!”

Since my days as a dumbass first-time tumblr user, in which I was rather sternly corrected by older users if I got too aggressive in my arguments, I’ve tried to steer away from pointing out how STUPID that take is. But? Nothing’s saying I can’t make a post of my own about it!

So.

With the bare minimum of due respect.

What fucking book did you read where Luke Skywalker corrected his own fucking mistakes, let alone those of any Jedi who came before him?

Because from what I’VE read? Luke had a nasty habit of doing the same things everyone criticizes the Prequel Jedi for doing, only ramping the ante up in a way only a Skywalker trained by TWO of the Disaster Lineage can.

Mace Windu threatened a “helpless” old Chancellor in his own office and was trying to assassinate him? Gag me. Luke Skywalker electrocuted Shimrra Jamaane to death with Force Lightn-pardon me, “eLeCtRiC jUsTiCe.”

The Jedi Order of the Prequels used Padawans as “child soldiers”? Please. Luke Skywalker possessed the body of his nephew to duel Exar Kun…when Jacen Solo was TWO, a FUCKING TODDLER. That’s not even getting into the number of very young teenagers who died horrible deaths as SOLDIERS in the war against the Yuuzhan Vong - for pity’s sake, Anakin Solo was knighted at sixteen and KILLED AT SEVENTEEN, where his grandfather’s knighting at nineteen was considered a rush job!

The Galactic Army of the Republic was a slave army? So was the army of YVH-1 battle droids built to battle the Yuuzhan Vong invasion! “Oh, but those were just droids” yeah and? The anti-Jedi folk cried when Anakin Skywalker was rightfully punished for not wiping R2’s memory of sensitive battle information, and they’ve outright said they have more sympathy for the battle droids than for the living, breathing people defending themselves against the battle droids. Not to mention, Legends had a Droid’s Rights movement in full swing at this point in time, so? YVH’s were people programmed from “birth” to die in battle. Next question.

Obi-Wan was too mean to Darth Maul and Darth Vader when he cut off their limbs? Alema Rar would like a word! Luke Skywalker permanently crippled her lightsaber arm, his sister cut off one of her feet AND one of her lekku (brain tails, that HAVE HER BRAIN IN THEM), AND put her in the way of a spider-sloth that BIT HER IN FUCKING HALF. And this was after Luke helped raise her as a youngling and HAD A VISION OF HER TURNING TO THE DARK SIDE, and did FUCK-ALL to prevent her from turning!

On the topic of doing fuck-all to prevent something…oh, was Obi-Wan Kenobi unable to prevent his Padawan from being groomed by a Sith Lord? Well, Luke Skywalker GAVE his son Ben as an unofficial apprentice to Jacen Solo, who turned out to be Darth Caedus and mentally, emotionally, and physically tortured Ben for six years! And, while Obi-Wan did not like Palpatine and continuously advised Anakin not to trust him without even knowing Palpatine was Sidious, Luke fully suspected Jacen was headed down a dark path and still encouraged Ben to be his apprentice because he was afraid of the Skywalker legacy dying with him.

Obi-Wan Kenobi flirted inappropriately with enemy generals? Luke Skywalker banged them. No, seriously, Legends Luke’s sexual body count is in double digits, the man was an unrepentant fuckboi. Mara Jade, Calista Masana/Mingla, Gaerial Captison, Shira Brie, some blonde named Mary who was in one comic to die at the end, fucking ABELOTH? Yeah, Luke only married one of those women, BUT HE FUCKED ALL OF THEM. And now, we have the DinLuke ship (which only exists in fanon, so I will count it as Legends) to mirror the Codywan ship (which actually has some basis in canon), just to cement that Luke Skywalker is a persistent playboy for BOTH teams. He loves them and leaves them like a pro.

Oh, there’s a persistent fan-theory that Korkie Kryze was Satine and Obi-wan’s secret love child? There were rumors that Brisha Syo was Shira Brie’s daughter with Luke…rumors that were credible enough that Luke had to do his own investigation into the matter. Shira Brie, aka Lady Lumiya, whom Luke blew to smithereens when she tried to kill him, and fought her with no mercy when Darth Vader pieced her back together and sent her to fight him again. So, while Obi-Wan has a rumored lovechild from a respectful relationship with a woman who opted not to tell him, Luke legitimately blew up his alleged baby mamma in the void of space with the bare minimum of regret.

Yoda and Obi-Wan sent Luke to kill his own father because they couldn’t manage to do so? Luke sent his niece, Jaina Solo, to kill her TWIN BROTHER because he could not bring himself to kill Jacen himself. And, while Luke was understandably torn up about killing Anakin, Jaina had a Force-bond comparable with a canon dyad withh Jacen - it hurt her a lot more when she killed Jacen than it ever would have hurt Luke to kill Vader. She nearly DIED of heartbreak, that’s how bad it was.

Obi-Wan hurt Anakin’s trust by faking his death and going undercover? He beat the crap out of Anakin to maintain his cover? Luke hurt Leia’s trust by faking turning to the Dark Side, becoming a reborn Sidious’s new apprentice, ACTUALLY FALLING TO THE DARK SIDE, and mentally fighting Leia WHILE SHE WAS PREGNANT, to the point she WENT INTO LABOR EARLY.

Obi-Wan beat Anakin in a duel and left him to burn to death? Luke Skywalker BEAT THE LIVING HELL out of Vader until Vader was wordlessly pleading for MERCY, which he DID NOT DO ON MUSTAFAR.

Now.

Is there any nuance in Luke’s situations, throughout all of these examples? Yes, there is...but there’s also nuance in the Jedi’s situation in the Prequels, which no one seems to acknowledge in their case. So, whatever grace I extend to Legends!Luke being an imperfect and fascinating character, also extends to the Jedi being imperfect and fascinating characters in their own right.

I love Legends!Luke BECAUSE he reminds me of the Prequels Jedi, not because he corrected any of their “mistakes” (he did not. He very clearly did not). So don’t come at me saying Legends!Luke was better than the Prequel Jedi. I have read the books! I have kept the receipts! AND I WILL USE THEM.

[laurfilijames]

Like My Dreams

Part 1

Intro

Pete Dunham Masterlist

Pairing: Pete Dunham x female reader

Words: 4.8k

Warnings: Mentions of a broken leg, use of crutches. Bruises and cuts. Swearing. Alcohol consumption and use of pain medication. Discussions of fighting.

Summary: Life is getting back to normal for Pete, including going back to work and participating in his first scrap since almost getting killed, and little does he know that an unexpected person is going to step in and show him that while football is life, there may be more to life than just football.

After moving home to help your sister with your nephew, Jack, after her divorce, you meet his bruised, but gorgeous teacher, and later discover you're connected in more ways than one.

A/N: Part 1 is here!! Pete deserves the world and I'm using this fic as a way to rebuild his for him.

---

"Have you heard from the Yank at all, there, Peg Leg?" Swill asked through a grin, ducking when Pete raised his arm up in an attempt to hit him.

"Aye, I'll beat you with my crutch, you cunt," he threatened, turning away for a split second before making a quick jab at his mate with the proposed weapon, making Swill jump and spill his beer. "And yes, I have. Turns out our Yank mate has sought his revenge and managed to get a recording of that geezer Jeremy admitting he put the blame on him, so he's right back into Harvard now and will be graduating soon as."

"Ahh, result!" Swill cheered, clanking his glass against Pete's before extending his arm out to cheers with Ned and then Ike.

"Gonna be a proper Journo now."

"Good on him," Ike nodded.

"Yeah, yeah. Says he's planning a visit back across the pond soon as he's done," Pete explained.

"Oi, when are you going back to work, Pete?" Dave asked, handing him a fresh pint before taking a sip of his own.

Pete took a long drink, tilting his head to the side and shrugging slightly as he swallowed his beer. "Soon, I hope. Apparently the little lads have been giving the substitute a right time. I already had to go in and give 'em the what-for…tell 'em to be nice while I'm away."

"Bloody buggers," Dave sighed, shaking his head.

"Told them I'd taught them better than that." Pete took another sip, wiping his mouth with his hand. "Their response was that they wouldn't have to be such shits if she wasn't such an old, miserable cow."

"Yeah, there's no doubt you're their role model, then eh?" Dave laughed.

Pete shrugged in agreement, finding no point in arguing.

"Once I get out of this cast I can go back in," he explained, turning and leaning his back against the bar. "I'm itching to get back to it, but more just to get out of Steve and Shannon's place."

"That bad?"

He sighed, choosing his words carefully, "Shannon is being nice to me for the first time ever, but they fuss constantly. It'll just be nice to go home."

"Yeah, all in time, mate." Dave clapped his shoulder, happy Pete was being cared for and wasn't spending the long days of recovery alone.

There were days his leg ached like hell, and after ditching his crutches about a week ago, Pete sometimes wished he still had them to lean on. He sat on the edge of his desk, reading out loud to the class from there rather than pacing through the desks like he had been, his limp becoming more and more noticeable with each step, but despite the pain from the long days of being back on his feet, he was grateful to be back in his classroom with life pretty much back to normal.

Being back in his flat helped with his overall recovery too, having felt desperate to get out of Steve and Shannon's stuffy place and in the familiar comforts of his own, having appreciated time spent with them and his sweet nephew Ben, but ultimately relieved to relish in the peace and quiet.

The bell rang, signaling the end of their school day, and Pete marked his page and closed the book, glancing at the clock in slight disbelief that the day was already over.

"Okay, boys, we'll pick up there tomorrow," he announced, collecting some papers on his desk as his class packed up their notebooks and began filing out of the room. "And remember your assignments are due on my desk first thing Tuesday morning, so get cracking on them!" he shouted over their excited voices, some of them moaning in disappointment over their homework.

He pulled his phone out of his pocket to see a text from Bov confirming their plans to meet at the pub later for beers, and excitement buzzed through him knowing that in two more days, West Ham was playing Manchester at home. The two firms hadn't seen each other since the GSE surprised them at the station and embarrassed the hell out of them, and word was that they were gunning for a comeback more than ever. Pete knew he would have to be careful, but the thought of getting back into fighting and experiencing that rush as his firm kicked the shit out of the other's whose bruised pride had never recovered from the last time made him feel like he was close to invincible.

"I don't know why you keep eating it, then, Bov," Pete scolded, walking through the doors of The Abbey with his mate who kept going on about his sore stomach, unable to help the laugh at his expense as he watched him hold his gut and beeline it right for the toilets.

"What's the matter with him?" Dave asked, nodding in Bovver's direction as he struggled to get by other patrons.

Pete shook his head and sighed, "Bloody guy insists on ordering the hottest curry going and then fucking complains about his insides turning as soon as he's stuffed it down."

"He'll never learn, will he?"

"Nah, serves him right," Pete chuckled, clanging his glass against Dave's after being handed it.

"I don't know about you boys, but I am more than ready for the weekend," Ike said exasperatedly, "work has been kicking my ass."

"You best be rested up for our big event on Saturday…" Dave warned, earning a scoff from him.

"Yeah, yeah, you know I'm good for it. When have I ever let us down?"

Dave opened his mouth to quip at him, but started laughing when Ike shoved his arm and directed his attention to Pete. "What about you, eh? You feeling up to it?"

"Mate," he said pointedly, his eyebrow raised, "more than I ever have." Pete grinned, knowing each of them would be keeping extra close watch on him despite him feeling like no one would be able to knock him to the ground.

"I've been trying to get Fiona down here for some drinks," Swill started to explain, "her bestie is here staying with her for a bit and said they were looking to go out on the pull-"

"Aye, I'll show your sister a good time," Ned interrupted, causing Swill to glare at him seriously.

"Don't you fucking think for a second you're gonna touch my sister."

Pete laughed into his beer, listening to the two of them carry on until Keith interrupted them.

"Isn't she the hot one that moved away a few years back?"

"Yeah, that's the one," Swill confirmed.

"Oi, she's fit as fuck," Ned chimed in, making a crude gesture with his hands.

"She's here helping her sister out with her nephew or something, I dunno," Swill nonchalantly explained. "I keep telling her that Fi's place is too cramped and she should come stay with me."

"In your dreams!" Pete laughed, "Poor girl would be traumatized if she spent more than five minutes with you."

"Yeah, well, you'll just see when she comes 'round, eh. I'm very charming when I need to be."

"The only charm you're going to have is when you're helping me kick the snot out of Manchester's top bloke." Pete wrapped his arm around Swill's shoulders and necked the rest of his pint, the exhilaration of the upcoming match and fight already tingling through his veins.

"Fucking right, mate!" Swill cheered, patting Pete on the back aggressively to help pump him up even more.

Saturday turned out to be one of the best days Pete could remember having. The Hammers won 2-0 and him and the boys made the ruck afterward almost look too easy, but it didn't go without it's evidence.

He looked at his bruised reflection in the mirror, having missed seeing various shades of red and blue marking his face, his skin tender as he pulled the razor down over it before rinsing it off under the tap. He smiled to himself in thinking a clean shave would make up for his appearance when he showed up to school that morning, the colours even more pronounced than they were yesterday, having already earned glares from other staff members as he walked through the hallways to his classroom. The little lads always got a kick out of seeing their teacher's battle wounds unlike the Headmaster, but Pete still did his best to set a good example for them and prove to everyone that even a Weekend Warrior could maintain his professionalism. Pete winced when he went over a cut on his cheek, making blood spring from it again, and washing the remaining shaving cream off his cheeks and chin, he dried his face and went through to his bedroom to get dressed.

"Have a good day, Jack!" you smiled, watching your nephew climb out of the back seat of your car, thinking how dapper he looked in his neatly ironed school uniform and finding how he styled his hair with a bit of gel too sweet. He was growing up so quickly, ten going on fourteen it seemed like some days, and despite the circumstances, you were grateful to be around him more. There was no doubt that the split between your sister and his dad was tough on him, but overall he seemed to be coping okay, and you hoped a small bit of it was because his one and only amazing Aunt was there to help look after him. Part of your designated duties were to drop him off and pick him up from school and football practices, your work hours more flexible and easier to line up with his activities than your sister's, and it was the least you felt you could do to help out.

"Thanks, Auntie."

"You've got your football gear, right?" you called out through the passenger window you quickly rolled down before he got too far from the car.

"Yup," he confirmed, holding up his cleats and giving his backpack a shrug to keep over his shoulder.

"Okay, then, I'll see you at half four when practice is over. Maybe we'll go grab a bite and see a film?"

He scowled, "The match is on tonight!"

You raised your hands in mercy, "May the football gods forgive me!"

It earned a laugh from him, making you smile, the little 'see ya!' he gave you as he turned and ran off toward the building enough to make your Tuesday feel a little less mundane.

Glancing out of the corner of your eye at the backseat as you reached for your purse, you did a double-take, noticing Jack's lunch bag and homework left forgotten on the seat.

"Shit!" you hissed before giving a long sigh, looking out the window for any sign he was still around.

He was long gone into the school now, forcing you to switch your car off and take it inside, and you trotted down the pathway quickly in your heels so as not to be late to work yourself.

Something had cheesed-off the secretary already this morning, and with little to no help from her, you took it upon yourself to wander down the hallways in search of Jack's homeroom.

"You alright there, Jack?" Pete asked, passing out a worksheet on each desk, his concern growing after noticing the sulk on the boy's face. He looked like he was about to cry, having finished rooting through his bag for the second time since he'd gotten into class, clearly searching for something that wasn't there.

"I don't have my assignment." There was so much defeat in the poor kid's voice, and Pete couldn't bring himself to be cross with him even if he wanted to be.

"It's alright, mate, you can hand it in tomorrow."

When that didn't seem to ease his troubles over it, Pete crouched down beside his desk, his leg complaining as he did.

"You did do it, yeah?"

"Yes," Jack confirmed, his disappointment not fading. "I think I left it in my Aunt's car."

"Right, then there's nothing else to be done about it for now, eh? Mistakes happen, I won't knock any marks off for it."

"I forgot mine, too, Mr. Dunham," the boy sitting behind Jack called out.

"No you did not, Louis," Pete said through a wince as he stood. "The only thing you forgot was to actually do it."

Louis, along with all the other boys, laughed, the kid being famous for never handing in anything on time or simply neglecting to do half the assignments tasked in the first place, his admission not coming as a surprise to Pete.

About to explain the instructions on the pages he had just handed out, Pete was interrupted by a light knock and the door opening, making all of them pause to look at the slightly embarrassed, but extremely beautiful woman who was disrupting their class.

"I'm so sorry," you began, smiling in your bashfulness. You looked directly at Jack, making Pete swivel on the spot he stood on to follow your gaze before looking back at you with a big grin on his face, watching as you held up a folder containing what had to be his forgotten assignment.

"Looks like you've got yourself a guardian angel, mate," Pete smirked, limping over to the door where he opened it more for you.

You apologized again, but somehow couldn't wipe the smile from your face as you got lost in Jack's teacher's vibrantly blue eyes, the colour seemingly enhanced and appearing almost fake due to the reddish bruises that surrounded them.

"Don't give it another thought," he assured you, looking back at you with a similar amusement before reaching his hand out to take the folder decorated with West Ham United stickers from you.

More bruises and cuts decorated his knuckles, making you wonder what the hell this man got up to when he wasn't teaching your nephew, and you made a mental note to ask Jack questions about it all later.

"You've forgotten your lunch, too," you spoke, peeling your eyes away from the man who made butterflies flutter violently in your stomach. Jack trotted up to the front of the class where you stood, taking the bag from you sheepishly.

"Jack, you're a very lucky lad," Pete began, moving to perch on the edge of his desk. "I don't have anyone bringing me my lunch if I've left it."

You shrugged and nervously tucked your hands in the pockets of your jacket now that they were free, biting your lower lip to try to stop yourself from smiling more.

"I won't take up anymore of your time," you said to the impossibly handsome teacher, maintaining eye contact with him as you took a step backwards toward the door, praying your feet didn't betray you. "Sorry, again, for the disruption."

"Not a problem at all," he said slowly through another bright grin, his head tilting curiously as he crossed his arms over his chest while you walked through the door, closing it behind you.

The second it latched you heard the entire class erupt in a long 'ooooooo', jeering their teacher as any group of ten-year-old boys would for talking to a girl, making you smile even more when you heard him shush them and chuckle lightly before continuing on with his lesson.

10:47 Fiona: We're going to the pub tonight.

10:49 You: …

10:49 Fiona: I said, we're going to the pub tonight. That's an order.

10:51 You: Fine.

10:51 Fiona: Don't be mardy. We need to get out of the house. I promise to show you a good time.

10:51 Fiona: Plus, there's a match on, so it'll be full of fit lads.

10:52 You: Is that really your main selling point?

10:52 Fiona: Yes. We'll see which of us can get the most free drinks.

11:09 Fiona: I'm taking your silence as a yes.

11:09 Fiona: Maybe you'll even get a snog or a shag in the toilets!

11:17 You: I swear you're a bigger perv than your brother.

Tucking your phone back inside your desk drawer, you bit the inside of your cheek and sighed out deeply, trying to regain concentration on the computer screen in front of you, but it was helpless. All you could think about was the fraction of a possibility of seeing Jack's teacher there, the teacher whose name you didn't even know, out of the simple fact that he probably spent his time outside of school in a pub watching football as most men did. Even if he did happen to be in that exact pub, in that exact part of London, on that exact night, the chances of him being there without a woman, or many, hanging off his arm were slim. Maybe he was even engaged or married, happily at home on a Tuesday night with his missus…

Regardless of your speculations, you continued to think of the way he had looked at you, letting this silly and unexpected fantasy get the better of you, recounting every moment of your meet-cute and how unbelievable it would be to find yourself tangled up with the likes of him. Had you exaggerated the glint in his eyes and the brightness of his smile, or how he made your whole body tingle with that nervous-excitement enough to feel like you were floating?

With another sigh, you willed yourself to get a grip, needing to get something accomplished in your workday, the chances of seeing him outside the school slim.

Still, a girl could dream, and smiling to yourself, you secretly thanked your friend for her persistence in taking you out.

Several very distracted hours later, you pulled up beside the pitch outside the school, seeing a small mob of boys in various coloured jerseys running around it, and your eyes immediately found and fixed on the tall coach that was unmistakably the same man who had occupied your mind all day.

You sat for only a couple of minutes before their practice was over, watching the banged-up teacher with a hitch in his step walk around collecting pylons while the boys ditched their jersey's into a bag and started to clean up their belongings piled near the fence.

Jack ran to your car even though his bags were far too heavy for him to be, and seeing how sweaty he was along with the muddy stains covering his gym gear, you wondered how many of these pick-ups it would take until your car began to smell like gross footy equipment.

"How was it?" you asked when he hauled on the door and threw his stuff in, flopping himself into he back seat before shutting the door and putting on his seatbelt.

"Good. Thanks for bringing my assignment, you're a legend."

"Don't I know it," you winked at him, taking one last look over at his teacher who just so happened to be staring at you, and you felt yourself flush from head to toe as you tore your gaze away from him and blinked into reality, putting your car in gear and driving off.

You were quiet for a couple of minutes, debating quizzing your nephew about his teacher, and ultimately decided there was no harm in it.

"Does your teacher always show up with bruises on his face?"

Glimpsing in the rearview mirror, you saw Jack smile. "Mr. Dunham? Yeah, most of the time."

"You're acting like that's a normal thing, Jack," you laughed, "Why is he always battered?"

"He's a Hooligan, so yeah, it's normal."

"A Hooligan?”

"In a footy firm?” he emphasized in the form of a question, like it was the most obvious thing. “Yeah. West Ham’s, obviously."

You nodded, trying to wrap your head around the information you were getting. You knew of the firm because of Fiona, having heard the odd thing about it through her because of her brother Swill, but the ins and outs of football were something you didn't pay much attention to anymore. You weren't even sure if Swill was still a participant of the barbaric side of football, assuming he might have given up his hooliganism in exchange for his respectable career as an accountant.

"Mr. Dunham's the coolest. He's everyone's favourite teacher. A lot of grown-ups and other teachers think he's bad or whatever, but he's the nicest out of anyone and is really smart, too," Jack went on, pulling you out of your thoughts for a moment. "I want to teach history like him when I grow up. It's my favourite subject."

"Well, then, I'm sure glad I brought in that assignment for you."

"Yeah, I was real upset that I forgot it. I want to keep my grades up in his class."

It was incredible to hear your nephew talk like this, finding a role model in someone so unconventional, but seeing as his father wasn't really one to look up to, you figured it was good he found someone who inspired him.

"Right, my man," you announced, parking in your sister's driveway. "Enjoy the match! I hope they win!"

"Mr. Dunham says they will for sure. Birmingham doesn't stand a chance!"

"Well good, because even I am going to watch it tonight!"

Jack pulled a shocked face, "You're gonna watch football?"

"Yes! Cheeky…"

"Make sure you cheer for the proper team!" he laughed, tugging on his West Ham shirt to show you the crest. He closed the door after taking out all his things and ran up to the house where he stuck his tongue out at you from the porch, making you laugh and shake your head.

"Want another one, Pete?" Bovver asked, nodding to his empty glass that had been drained for a while now.

"Nah, man, I'm good. Gotta be sharp for work tomorrow."

"Since when?"

Pete glared at his mate, not wanting to get into too many details, the truth behind his reduced consumption of pints being he had just taken some pain pills on account of his leg. He had done his best to cope with it, but after running around too much at practice he had to give in, needing something to help take the edge off.

"Oi, Fi's on her way over," Swill said, sitting down beside Pete.

"Oh, tonight? Sweet," Pete said, curious to see who her friend was and if she was actually as fit as the other guys kept claiming she was.

The Abbey was packed by the time the game started with the GSE dispersed throughout to watch on the various screens hung on the walls and above the bar, Pete sticking to their usual spot in the back corner where less people were gathered.

He spotted Fiona making her way through the crowd, judging by her tipsy smile and half-finished pint that she had already been here for a decent amount of time, the atmosphere of the whole place very rowdy as the Hammers maintained a lead.

"Pete!" she called, nearly pushing someone down to get to him to give him a hug.

"Aye, aye!" He stood and accepted her embrace, unable to recall the last time he had seen her.

"How are you doing? You gave everyone quite the scare!"

He chuckled, "Yeah, all good. I'm doing fine now, thanks, Fiona." He took his seat again and looked up at her with a smile, watching as she clapped her hand on her chest.

"What a relief, you should've seen how gutted they all were. Swill was beside himself."

"As they should've been!" he laughed, spinning his empty glass on the coaster. "You enjoying the match?"

"Wha- oh! Yeah," she laughed, her smile somehow larger than her brother's, "I'm not paying all that much attention if I'm honest!"

"I can tell!"

She shrugged and took a long sip of her drink, glancing around the bar.

He nodded at her, his brows knitted, "Where's your friend?"

"Hell if I know! Somewhere over there," she waved, motioning in the direction of the pool table, "Ned and Swill are chatting her ears off."

"Sounds about right…"

Pete settled into his seat and drew his focus back to the match as Fiona went and greeted someone else, but he'd be kidding himself if he pretended his thoughts weren't constantly on you, unable to get you out of his mind for even a second. He wondered if he would be lucky enough to see you again; if Jack would just so happen to forget something on a weekly basis and if you were going to be the one consistently picking him up from school and football practice, or maybe even be the guardian he would get to sit down and discuss Jack's grades with at parent-teacher interviews.

But it was rare for lightning to strike twice.

The Brigid Abbey Pub itself was incredibly charming, even if most of the people occupying it were far less so. Swill was the same as always, never changing his lewd, loud ways despite being forced to be well-mannered and respectful throughout the day, but it was rare that anyone had ever made you laugh as hard as he did. His mates were all there, most of them hanging around where you and Fi were, but mentions of someone named Pete and his whereabouts kept coming up.

You found yourself taking in your surroundings more than the game itself, looking at all the plaques and paraphernalia that hung on the walls, all while scanning the crowd in hopes of spotting the one person you somehow felt desperate to see again.

"Who are you looking for?"

"Hmm? What? No one," you lied to Fiona, though very unconvincingly.

"You spotted a fit bloke, didn't you?" she said with a grin that rivaled Swill's.

"Yeah, me," Swill chimed in, causing Fiona to talk back to him about being gross and them to start bickering as they usually did.

They always managed to make you laugh, and you had to admit you were having a better time than you thought you were going to, enjoying the company of your bestie and her brother, who's mates were exceptionally kind and welcoming.

It wasn't until you overheard a couple of them discussing a fight they had had that you really started paying attention to what was happening around you.

“Wait, are you still part of all that?” you asked Swill, grabbing his arm to make him turn around to face you.

"For life!" he exclaimed, "I'll be dead before I leave it."

"Yeah, well, some of you are making that come true more than others," Fiona scoffed.

You screwed up your face in complete bewilderment, "Wait. What?"

"The head of the firm," she began explaining, "their mate, Pete, nearly died about four months ago in a fight. He's just been back to work the last few weeks and everything. It’s a complete miracle he's even alive."

"Jesus Christ," you muttered. "And he still fights?"

Ike huffed out a laugh before turning serious, "Oh, fuck yeah…like nothing ever happened."

The rest of the lads all excitedly started recalling how intensely this Pete had fought the other day, going on about how their fearless leader was back and stronger than before.

"Is he here?" you asked, wanting to meet this death-defying prodigy of England's roughest unofficial sport.

"'Course he is," said Ned, "he's sat over there in his usual spot." He nodded toward the back corner of the pub, and standing on your tip-toes, you attempted to see over the hoard of heads between where you were and there, but it was impossible to manage.

It was almost hard to believe that these men, who held regular jobs and had seemingly normal lives, still carried on the insane, delinquent habits of the firms brought on from decades prior, and even more so that after one of them was nearly killed, they continued on with more pride than ever.

The match ended in a win for the mighty Hammers, the high spirits of their dedicated supporters lingering on in the pub, helping to keep Pete going despite being the most sober one of all his mates. As the groups of people started to thin out, he was finally able to spot where Fiona and the rest of them had been loitering, his eyes trained on one person in particular.

His heart hammered in his chest as he downed the rest of the beer he had been nursing, praying for the slight nervousness he felt to calm.

"Well, fuck me," he murmured under his breath, standing from the table where he left Dave asking him what he was on about and where he was going.

Not bothering to ease his friend's mind with an explanation, Pete slowly made his way through the crowd, almost afraid that if he moved too quickly, the scene he was walking toward would vanish from his sight like a mirage.

A grin that met his eyes crept up his lips, thinking that maybe dreams didn't fade and die and it was possible that lightning could strike twice after all.

---

Part 2

Taglist:

@stealfromthedevil @inbar-thomas1980 @theesirenteller

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[vanessapark19]

Rubric "Thinking Out Loud."

Well, after all these years, it's great to be back in Gravity Falls again. 

I thought, why not share my ideas with you, of course, Gravity Falls is officially over for season 2, but that doesn't stop anyone from creating their own fan versions of its sequel.

I already have two new characters Wibi and Ben brother and sister created by Bill Cipher

If I were to continue the story, the plot of season 3 takes place 9 years later. The twins go to visit their old folks Stan and Ford again. Also to see their friends. Meanwhile, Bill has already served his time in dimension 5150 and is preparing a new plan for revenge.

Bill creates a new successor for Wibi, his plan was for her to blend in with the Pines family and kill them. Bill thought he could completely control Wibi, but so went against his whims.

She joined their family but didn't kill them, she didn't see the point.

Bill was furious when he found out.

And now follows the girl around, forcing her to accept an evil version of herself, something Wibi herself doesn't want.

Wibi has made friends with Mabel and Wendy. Dipper is no exception either, but Wibi rather enjoys making jokes about him than socializing.

Jesus became the new owner of the Cabin.

Stan and Ford were traveling, so they didn't know their nephews had come to visit.

In the middle of season 3 at one point Mabel tells Wibi that her uncle has arrived, Wibi is at a loss as to which uncle she is referring to.

Running out into the main hall, she sees Bill, who has taken the form of a man, Wibi, in order not to reveal this little secret, accepts the fact that Bill is her "Uncle" This mini story continued until Stan and Ford arrived.

Ford suspected something amiss just as Dipper did. 

Ford suspected something was wrong just like Dipper. 

Subsequently, Ford reveals Bill, and in revenge with him, Wibi.

That's all the thoughts so far :)

I think to do this kind of column more often.

Thanks for your attention.

[newtonsheffield]

Is Anthony just chill flirting with PM Kate or is he also having a bit of a crisis about how he total fancies his new boss/the boss of the country!?

I think it’s a little complicated for Anthony. Kate Sharma, MP for Kensington, was Anthony’s celebrity crush for a few years.

Benedict liked to point out that Kate Sharma was only a celebrity in Anthony’s own head and when Kate Sharma successfully won the Labour Party leadership Anthony slapped a news article about it down on the table in front of his brother with a smile.

“Surely, she’s a celebrity now!”

Ben rolled his eyes, “Huh, guess Sophie just got a promotion.”

Anthony blinked, “Who’s Sophie?”

Ben shrugged, “She’s this girl I’ve been seeing. She’s one of Kate Sharma’s… secretaries? Aides? Whatever you call them.”

Anthony’s mouth dropped open before he cleared his throat, “Benedict I will never ask you for a favour again if you just give your girlfriend my CV.”

“She’s not my… We literally just started seeing each other! I can’t roll up with my brother’s CV like some sort of lunatic!”

So he knows he has a bit of a crush on her, and then he met Kate Sharma. And she was… 1000 times more incredible than he’d ever thought she might be. She was funny, and warm and she genuinely took the time to know every person on her staff. She actually cared.

But… Kate Sharma is also… the literal most powerful woman in the country. She is. Undoubtedly. Even though he can hear her singing the bluey theme song with her little Nephew, she is the most important person in Britain. He’s pretty sure she wouldn’t be interested in any of his advances, and then he sees her accidentally run into a doorframe when he took his jacket off because he spilled coffee on it. And then he realises: The most powerful woman in the country thinks he’s very very cute.

[darthpotater]

No One Else but Han

You and Luke “try” to help Han after he screwed up with his dad duties.

The Misadventures of Reader with Han, Luke and Leia | Part 1

A/N: this was such a random thought I had one night and is completely self indulgent cuz I love han and messing with him. But nevertheless, I hope you guys enjoy reading this as much as I did writing.

Yeah, i’d still consider this more of a a luke x reader but also a han x reader but with a sibling/platonic type of relationship

Forgive me, this was a pure 4 am thought.

“Han, what did you do?” You asked quietly as you peered down at little Ben who was happily babbling at you. You glance back at the smuggler who was busy pacing back and forth. “I know, alright? I screwed up. But could you please help me here? Leia’s coming home today and I know she’ll kill me.”

You nodded, trying your best at hiding a smile before turning to look back at the little boy in his crib. You stared at him, trying to stop yourself from doubling over with laughter as you carefully reached for his soft hair, hair that was once black now dyed Blue.

“I don’t understand. How did you confuse shampoo and hair dye?” You asked, finally turning around to look back at Han. “The bottle was blue!” Han defended, throwing his hands up in the air. “Yeah, because it’s blue hair dye.” You said matter-of-factly.

“His shampoo bottle is blue too.”

“Han, do you ever read the contents of the bottle?” You asked with a laugh. He dropped his head, “I assumed it was the right one.”

You let out a laugh before turning around once more to look at Ben. “Oh my sweet Ben, what do we do with you? Although, gotta admit, it fits him don’t you think?” You smiled as you carefully picked up Ben who let out a squeal. “You’re not helping.” Han groaned as he ran a hand down his face. You chuckled before leaving a kiss on Ben’s temple, making him snuggle up against you.

“I have a question for you though, laserbrain. Did you ever think to stop when you saw his hair turning blue?”

“I did, starshine.” Han started sarcastically, making you playfully roll your eyes at him. “But when I rinsed it off, well, it was too late— Now my son looks like Max Rebo.” Han groaned before plopping down on the couch. “Leia’s going to kill me.”

“Why is Leia going to kill you?” Luke’s voice asked from behind as he entered the room. “I came as soon as I got the com. Is everything alright? What happened?” He asked once again, his voice laced with obvious concern. “Oh, everything’s alright, just a small problem.” You giggled before turning around with Ben. You laughed when you saw Luke’s expression change; the concern and worry leaving and instantly replaced by amusement.

“Ben?” Luke called out as he slowly made his way over to you both. “What did they do to you?” Luke laughed, eyeing you and Han. “Don’t look at me, it was all him. No one else but Han.” You smiled, motioning to the man of the hour who was slumped against the couch, head in his hands. “Well, I certainly did not expect to see this.” Luke smiled before looking at you, leaning in to give you a quick chaste kiss on the lips.

“So, are you two going to help me or stand there and mock me?” Han asked with a sigh. You and Luke share a look before smiling and looking back at your favorite nerfherder. “We will help but I cannot promise I won’t mess with you from time to time.” You answered, handing Ben to Luke who happily wrapped his arms around his nephew. “Although, I don’t see how you expect us to help you, Han.” Luke pointed out while running a hand through Ben’s blue hair.

“I was thinking maybe you could, I don’t know, use that mind trick thing you guys do, on Leia.” Han shrugged. You scoffed, “On Leia’s behalf, I’m offended you’d even think that would work on her.”

“I don’t even know how it works!” Han exclaimed as he started pacing once again. Luke laughed as he gave Ben a small bounce, making the boy laugh. “Or, maybe we could just shave his head.” You suggested with a shrug, making both men look at you. “What?”

“I don’t think that will make things any better, my love.” Luke chuckled. “I think Leia would prefer coming home to a bald baby than a Max Rebo.

“She’ll kill me.” Han groaned, shaking his head. You turned to look at him. “I think she’ll kill you either way, Han.”

“You sure know how to make things better.” Han said sarcastically, making you laugh. “Just being honest.”

“Oh grow up.”

“Said the man who mixed up blue hair dye and his son’s shampoo.”

“It was an honest mistake!”

You were about to make another teasing comment but was stopped by Luke. “Okay you two, that’s enough. Why don’t we focus on the task at hand? Could we possibly re-dye his hair with black?” Luke asked. At this point, the constant back and forth between the three of you had Ben laying his head on his uncle’s shoulder, sleep obviously trying to take over.

Han pointed a finger at Luke, “Yes. That’s it. I can run to the store and buy some black dye.”

You shook your head as you hopped onto the kitchen counter that was nearby. “No, that’ll ruin his hair. We don’t even know how strong the blue one is, just imagine adding more?” Luke nodded, agreeing with you. Han dropped his hand, convinced by your point. “Can’t you guys use your magic to change his hair?”

“Han, how do you think we Jedis work?” Luke asked, holding back laughter as to not wake Ben up who had given in and was now fast asleep in his Uncle’s arms. Han shook his head, “I don’t know, you tell me, kid.”

You watched Luke as he carefully shifted the boy in his arms, cradling the back of his head before leaving a soft kiss on his forehead. You smiled sweetly, enjoying the sight in front of you. You couldn’t help but start imagining a future where the two of you start a family; to have a child with him would be amazing because you just know he’d be such an amazing father and oh how you’d want to be there to witness it all.

“Okay, maybe a hat. We could buy him a hat.” Luke suggested as he now carefully place sleeping Ben back in his crib. “I don’t think that would hide his hair forever, love.” You teased, making Luke nod agreeingly. “Come on, there has to be something.” Han pleaded. You and Luke share a laugh, “I think our best bet is to come clean. Like you said, it was an honest mistake.”

Han dropped his head in defeat, knowing well enough there was no other choice. Luke walked into the kitchen and grabbed himself a drink. “Just know, if ever you need a place to stay, we have extra room and we’d be more than happy to take you in.” Luke teased, making Han roll his eyes. “I say we shave his head. He’d be a cute bald baby.” You added once more, pushing for your initial plan. “No way I’m letting you mess with my son’s hair.”

“Fine then, because that’s all the solutions I can think of at the moment.” You sighed before eyeing Luke who stood in front of you, sipping on a cold glass of blue milk. You watched for a few seconds, starting to crave— and as if he knew exactly what you were thinking, which he probably did, he handed you the rest of his drink with a smile. You happily accepted and took a few sips yourself. “I have no idea how you guys like that stuff.” Han started. “Leia keeps a kriff ton of that for you both but I just don’t get it.”

“And I love her for that. It’s a beverage for people with taste—thank you very much.” You grinned before handing the glass back to Luke. He downed what’s left and giggled as he reached up to wipe your milk-mustache off.

“Han? I’m home.” Leia’s voice greeted from the door, making the three of you look her way with wide eyes. “You’re home early.” Han gasped, making you look at him with a crooked smile.

“Yeah, the meeting ended early—Oh! I didn’t know you two were here. Is this my surprise welcoming party?” She asked with a grin. You snickered while Luke cleared his throat, stopping himself from bursting out in laughter. “We were just about to leave, actually. Just wanted to check in on Han and Ben, that’s all. Welcome home.” Luke smiled as he gave his sister a hug and a kiss on the cheek; you doing the same.

“Don’t you two want to stay for dinner? I have so many stories to tell you all.” She said as Luke downed his drink and wiping his mouth with his sleeve. “We can do that another day, perhaps tomorrow? For now, we’ll let the three of you catch up.” Luke grinned as Han shook his head vigorously as he stood behind Leia, “Oh okay, I won’t force you both.” She smiled tiredly.

Luke reached for your hand and motioned for the door. You nodded with a smile before looking back at Han and mouthed a sorry. He glared at you which made you stifle in a laugh harder.

You and Han quite the unique relationship. Anyone who didn’t know you and on a personal level would think you two despised each other but to those who did, would know that you and Han always had each other’s back…despite the constant teasing and messing with each other. He was like the brother you never had, never really asked for but you were extremely glad to have.

You and Luke rushed out the Solo residence just before Leia could give Han a mouthful.

“Poor Han,” Luke chuckled as you two began walking down the halls, making your way towards the elevators. “Yeah, but that’s what he gets for not reading. That’ll teach him a lesson.” You grinned.

“I promise you, I won’t accidentally dye our child’s hair like that.” Luke said, making you stop dead in your tracks. Luke looks at you, eyes wide as he realized what he had just said. “I didn’t mean— I just… sorry, I didn’t mean to say that out loud… I’m sorry.” Luke apologized anxiously as he stared at the floor.

“… You want to have a child with me?” You asked quietly, making him look up at you, his blue eyes glistening under the faint hallway lights. “No one else.” He whispered softly. You stared at him, not knowing what words to say but one thing’s for sure, you wanted the same damn thing.

“I.. I don’t see anyone else I want to start a family with nor do I want anyone else to spend the rest of my life with.” He said, voice so soft that you could barely hear him but you did, and oh how happy that made you. “Well, I’m really glad we’re on the same page.” You smiled before grabbing his collar softly and pulling him in for a passionate kiss. You felt him smile. “And hey, maybe we could you know, start trying…” You told him, trying to shrug off the blush creeping up your cheeks. Luke stood there with wide eyes, staring down at you with so much intensity and so much love. And without saying another word, he intertwines your hands together before guiding you into the elevator, determined to get you both home.

[saphronethaleph]

The Second Order

Ben looked up at the sound of voices.

“...just saying,” someone was just saying. “Why Ossus? I get that it’s not a bad place to be sited, but Yavin Four was right there.”

“I considered both,” Uncle Luke replied. “And several other places. But there was… so much to learn, on Ossus.”

“I’m just too used to Yavin Four, I guess,” the other person replied, as they rounded a corner, then glanced up. “Oh, good… uh, is it morning? I’m not sure if it’s morning.”

“It’s the afternoon,” Ben said, putting down his calligraphy set. “Who are you?”

“Master Katarn,” the man introduced himself. “Or, Kyle, I guess. Kyle is probably better, really, it’s just… you know. Jedi Temple.”

“This is my nephew, Ben Solo,” Luke said. “He’s a fine apprentice.”

“Nice to meet you,” Kyle said, holding out his hand to shake, and Ben took it hesitantly.

Much to his relief, the strange Jedi Master – and how did that work? Ben thought he knew everyone who could even try to claim that title – didn’t try the old crusher-grip trick, instead giving him a firm handshake before letting go again.

“Master Skywalker, who is this?” Ben asked. “How don’t I know about him?”

“I’ll let him explain,” Luke invited.

Kyle had looked faintly confused, for a moment, then shrugged it off.

“So there’s this thing called flow walking,” he said. “And I was doing it to try and get out of a Vong ambush, and I ended up here. Fortunately it looks like they didn’t manage to follow me here.”

“...what are Vong?” Ben said.

“If you haven’t heard of them…” Kyle began, then frowned at Luke in an assessing sort of way. “What year is it?”

“You think you might have travelled in time?” Ben asked, realizing what that meant. “It’s, uh, 8004 CRC… um, the New Republic calendar is based on years after the Battle of Yavin, did that happen in your world?”

“Yeah, that happened,” Kyle agreed. “Your uncle destroyed the Death Star, right?”

“Correct,” Luke said. “It’s currently the year twenty-seven, by that reckoning.”

“Great, so I only travelled between universes,” Kyle said. “So… that means the Vong probably aren’t a problem for you, unless they’ve been delayed… have you had any other serious crises that we haven’t? The Yavin academy was assaulted several times, but we’ve always bounced back… did you have the Empire Reborn? Or the Cult of Ragnos?”

Luke and Ben exchanged glances.

“I… don’t know what those are,” Ben admitted.

“I’ve never heard of such a thing either,” Luke agreed. “The only real crisis we’ve faced was the Knights of Ren, but fortunately they didn’t take the lives of any young Jedi.”

“Lucky you,” Kyle said, sounding like he meant it sincerely.

“How are you a Jedi Master?” Ben asked, suddenly.

“It took me a while to accept the title, believe you me,” Kyle replied, with a chuckle. “I’m about… thirty, forty percent self taught, Mara did another twenty percent, and the rest was reciprocal learning from the rest of the Academy. Ultimately Luke’s… counterpart, I guess, named me the Academy’s Battlemaster, but it’s still a struggle to convince myself that I deserve the term.”

He shrugged. “Still, you must have the same kind of problem here, right? Though you didn’t have any of those attacks… any sign of Dark Jedi or rival Sith academies?”

Uncle and nephew both shook their heads, and Kyle seemed to be doing some internal calculations.

“You started your academy in, what, eight to twelve ABY?” he asked. “If you’re much like the Master Skywalker I knew.”

“Eleven,” Ben provided. “Though I didn’t join at that point, I was only six.”

Kyle nodded.

“That means… you must have, what, a hundred and sixty?” he asked. “Two hundred?”

“...um,” Luke began. “Two hundred what?”

“Jedi?” Kyle replied, looking confused.

Ben coughed.

“We have twenty-three,” he said. “I’m one of them, in case it wasn’t clear.”

Kyle just kind of stared for a moment.

“...with all due respect to a fellow Jedi Master,” he began. “What have you been doing with the last sixteen years?”

“I have no idea how to teach!” Luke countered. “I don’t know what your Luke’s training was like, but my training was half an hour with Old Ben in a starship blindfolding me and shooting me with a remote, then I went to a swamp and got… a few months of training, but it was a few months of training from a man who I have now realized was probably crazy before he spent two decades alone in a swamp.”

Kyle nodded along. “Yeah, that’s about right,” he said. “You learned how to touch the Force, and a lot of the rest is just instinct. Most of the education that takes place in a Jedi Academy is when to use the Force – and when not to use the Force.”

He shrugged. “It’s honestly more important that someone learn how to honestly self-assess themselves and how to resist the temptations of the Dark Side than it is to make sure they know exactly how to perform a lightsaber form. If someone needs training on a specific kind of Force skill, teach them at that; don’t feel that someone’s training has to be complete before they’re graduated as a Knight, or even able to be a Master. Learning is continuous.”

Luke looked like he was trying to work out which of several different emotions to be, including embarrassed, offended, contrite and mid-revelation.

“Actually, about a year ago I was in a meeting with the temple management, on how to deal with the war,” Kyle went on, rummaging in his pockets. “We were discussing the best way to implement viable recovery procedures… do I have it on me…”

“I don’t know what those are,” Luke admitted.

“The Vong war on my side of the divide has been causing a lot of casualties,” Kyle explained. “They’ve been going after Jedi especially, and it’s the first time the New Jedi Order’s numbers have contracted… and after what happened before, with the Purges, we were talking about the best way to make sure that the New Jedi Order could flourish and rebuild more quickly. Calista said that she was aiming for the ability to double the Order’s size every four years on average from incoming students… aha!”

Pulling a small cube out of his pocket, Kyle held it up – heedless to the astonished reactions of both Ben and Luke to that statistic.

“I’ve got another one of these back on my ship,” he explained “Calista is pretty sure that these are basically the same as the old Holocrons, and the idea is to share information among all of them to make a distributed archive of knowledge for the New Jedi Order. This one’s… probably mostly up to date.”

He tossed it to Luke, who caught it.

“Feel free,” he said. “Like I say, I’ve got another… I can probably stick around for a bit to help, it should take a few days for the Vong back home to decide that I’m missing and I want to take at least that long before I try going home.”

Ben was trying to recover from everything he’d heard over the last few minutes.

“...actually, now I come to think of it, have you heard of me before?” Kyle asked, most of his focus on Luke. “Because I might need to borrow a starship and take a quick trip to Ruusan to avoid giving you a very serious problem at some point… is there anything that would stop me getting there? I’m not really very clear on politics here.”

“Where’s Ruusan?” Luke asked, tearing his eyes away from the holocron.

“Teraab sector, mid-rim,” Kyle replied. “P-11 on the grid square map.”

“That should be fine,” Ben said. “The First Order isn’t anywhere near there.”

Kyle frowned. “What’s the First Order?”

Ben did his best to explain.

By the end of the explanation, Kyle looked like he was planning on using the starship he planned to borrow to fly into First Order space and look for a fight.

Ben had the oddest feeling that Kyle might well win.

“Did you learn anything from it, yet?” Ben asked, some hours later, after Kyle had left in a borrowed shuttle. “I’ve never actually seen a modern Holocron.”

“Neither have I,” Luke replied, looking up from his study of the little cube. “And, for some reason, this one keeps interfacing with me using a face I’ve never seen before. But I have the strangest feeling she knows me.”

He sighed. “And… I don’t know what I’ve been doing wrong, not yet, but I’m now quite sure I’ve been doing something wrong. I’ve been too afraid of getting things wrong, to do them right.”

After a moment, Luke caught Ben’s eye.

“Ben, I want to tell you something,” he said. “It’s a secret that your parents asked me to keep, and I agreed, because… when I learned it, I was about the same age you are now. And I didn’t take it well.”

“You… didn’t take it well?” Ben repeated, trying to reconcile that with his uncle the Jedi Master.

“Well, I did try to jump into a gas giant not long afterwards,” Luke said. “So I’d say I didn’t take it especially well, yes… but you have to learn some time. I can’t shield you from the painful truth forever.”

He sighed. “So… I’m going to tell you about my father, your grandfather. About who he was, and who he became, and who he still was, deep inside, all but suffocated under the lies of an evil man who wanted to use him as a weapon. I’m going to tell you the full story of Anakin Skywalker.”

(Legends New Jedi Order:

Foundation of the Praexum 11 ABY

Relative peace 11-25 ABY, with several major crises they had to deal with (which caused casualties)

By 25 ABY, there were at least 100 Jedi, with several of the students now Masters in their own right and actively training new Padawans.

The resultant force was very robust, managing to handle serious casualties (they got cut in half in the Vong war of 25-29 ABY, but rebounded to over 200 by 35 ABY) and had mastered rapid recovery - by 44 ABY they are up to over a thousand, despite another war in the interim.

Disney Canon New Jedi Order:

Foundation of the Academy around 10-11 ABY

Almost total peace 11-28 ABY

Then Ben Solo turns to evil and destroys the whole thing in one go, leaving about three survivors who hadn't been present at the time.)

[popculturebuffet]

Here Comes Garfield: The Garfield Movie Review!: Colossal, Stupdendous one might go as far to say.. Mediocre (Patreon Review for Emma Fici)

Hello all you happy people and welcome back to here comes garfield, my look at all the garfield specials and now his film career. Which I realize now means I probably have to do Garfield The Movie At Some Point... and... Tale of Two Kittles.. and Pet Force...

That exesntial horror aside, today that means we're looking at the recently released Garfield Movie. The Garfield Movie comes to us from Columbia Pictures, which Sony will never let you forget is 100 years old and they own every year of that now with the 100 years logo they plopped in front of this and Ghostbusters: It Was Meh.

The film has gotten the predictably mixed reactions from a less ambitious kids film: Kids clearly love it, my own niece and nephew included, Critics loathe it and a lot of people who saw it ironically gave it one star on Letterboxd. In other words it'll likely get at least one more sequel and possibly a streaming spinoff on whoever pulls the biggest dumptruck of money up to sony's house.

So let's dig into this film: Why it's such an easy target, how good it really is, what dosen't work, and what delicoius layers it has.

The Chris Pratt Problem

Before we get into the movie, let's get into WHY it became such an easy target. And the first and biggest reason is the simplist: who they choose to play the fat cat the cool cat the nobody's fool cat: Mr Chris Pratt

Chris Pratt's casting became a meme quickly and it's understandable why: Not only was this on the heels of his questionable (if ultimately decent enough) casting in Mario but both castings felt.. Lazy. Like an exec googled "Celebreity Man" and went with the most afforadable option. Pratt isn't a bad actor. As a person... I didn't have the bandwith to full research that and shift out the genuinely douchey actions from the internet herasy. Seems like he might be bit of a dick, can't prove it. But as an actor he can be good: he was great on parks and rec, in the lego movie and in the guardians trilogy. The probelm is like a lot of actors, once he got famous, he started becoming the best imintation of himself: most of his parts like jurassic world tend to just be him doing what people now expect to be Chris Pratt TM performances. For instance Star Lord.. is a fleshed out hot mess of a character, with some depth and some genuinely emotional moments despite often being the butt of a joke. The Guy From Jurassic World.. is just that without the depth or any real character beyond "Raptor Pal who wants to bang Bryce Dallas Howard". It's not all his parts, the bullk is still good, but he's sliding very comfortably into not giving a shit if he dosen't have to and it's not a good look. I love Ryan Renolds but he can also be like that, and his better roles are when he dosen't like Deadpool. For as big a thing as it's become and as much money as he's making you can tell he's making the third one not because it'll make him even richer, but because he loves the part.

With both of these rolls it feels like Chris signed on because

He DOES give it a decent try, being pretty good as mario and alright as Garfield, but it's easy to see why there isn't a ton of enthusasim. When Ben Schwartz got Sonic the Hedgehog he was fukcing pumped, brought it and really sunk into the role. He's easily one of the Blue Blur's best voice actors and you can tell he loves the franchise. I'm not saying you have to love a franchise going into a part.. but it dosen't feel like Chris Pratt really put his soul into it and as corprate as Mario and Garfield are, these are characters with life to them. I'm not saying you can't do a good roll for a paycheck, see Orson Wells as Unicron, but fans aren't going to give you a lot of room if you don't seem to give a shit you got such a big part that is important to them.

I don't think Pratt sinks the film.. but he was far from the best choice. The best choice, in my opinon.. would've been nick offerman. He's a big comedy name, has a lot of talent, has done plenty of voice acting, currently headlining fox's best show The Great North, and has that low sarcastic voice that can be used for a bunch of diffrent moods. Jason Mantzokus is a close second choice as his gravly ness fits garfield and he can both be earnestly sarcastic AND energetic, both things garfield needs. I know the latter is ironic but the guy is emotive when necessary. But putting aside my choices he just feels like he's doing "Chris Pratt". He's good ENOUGH, but the film could've found better and has such a standout cast, including another possible choice in Brett Goldstein, that he sticks out as the guy whose just kinda.. there.. and he's in the lead roll. he's not bad and gets some great deliveries in places, but he's servicable. It's a hard roll to nail, for me only Lorenzo Music and Bill Murray have truly got it, with Frank Welker trying his best but just not quite nailing it. There's a reason there was a bit of a gap before Welker took up the roll: Music is a hard mountain to climb, Murray happens to just exude slacker energy it's not easy. But they could've tried HARDER instead of going with "well generic hollywood guy will sell tickets"

Garfield Sells Out

The next issue is one I can cover pretty quickly:

The Garfield Movie has gotten flack for it's various bits of product placement: Garfield eats POPChips, there's Olive Garden leftovers in the fridge, and his dad orders things from Wall Mart. There's also possible FexEx and Tinder advertisment I missed I found looking at articles or two and credit to the daily best for the first and reddit for the second. There are adds for big corportaions in this film and while that's not NEW , until a discussion with my friend Emma I hadn't realized how much the MCU advertizes (And just for clarity I love a lot of the mcu and Emma is neutral), it is wince inducing in a film primarily aimed at kids. It works decently for adults (raises hand), but I get the target demo and while they get advertised to plenty, it's still scummy to cram this into the movie itself.

I have nothing against the food tie ins: Stouffers doing one for their lasanga is too sensical not to do, as is having olive garden make a cameo in the film itself, Tastykae's garfield cake was adorablea nd delicious, and popchips, while certainly not the kind of greasy snack garfield would gravitate too, are the kind of casual snack food I could see him at least trying... or more accurately Jon buys them, Garfield eats everything else because he assumes like many boomers "Healthy=bad" and finds out he was wrong and orders more. It's still mildly manipulative, but it's nothing new: Kids get sold food to them all the time.

That being said.. it's still fucked up how much product placement is in the film, even if it's spread out well and while I do wish we'd stop getting SO MANY ARTICLES on it included Cracked claming the drones in the film are Sony trying to get kids to accept drones more

I get the impulse: We want to protect children and while I was originally going to be more critical of this, the more I thought about it the more scummy it felt. The Product Placement isn't to say add a layer of authentiity by using a real brand or because it's fun, it's just.. so cheap and blatant. It's just whatever brand wanted that garfield money. The film does HAVE food at the center: Garfield meets John in an itallian restraunt and has to pull a milk heist and neither place is a real life brand.. which begs the question why all the others were flavor blasted in there. There's no real need to shill and the movie would've been fine doing tie ins out of universe. I get we live in a corprate hellscape but you don't HAVE to advertise to chidlren and their parents and to sad middle aged men like me. You can just.. make a movie. Let that be the "product" if your that cynical. All you did to the brands involved is remind people "Oh yeah they sold out in that one movie". Well with Olive Garden if your sonic you also make me go to it .. or this film... but Olive Garden is delicious.

So onto the third major problem had with the film

We've Been Here Before

The third is something I can agree with: the plot is stock as hell. While the film has good points i'll get to, the basic plot is one seen in dozens of other animated films. A hero is thrown out of a lot in life their either happy with or tell themselves they are, but are thrown into a CRAZY adventure by circumstance that they must go on to get that life back while learning something along the way. To prove HOW common this is I decided to go through my film list on Letterboxd and put all of the animated ones I found that adhere to this formula into one image. It wasn't nearly as many as I expected.. but I still found about 40 diffrent films with this formula in some way

And please note this formula in of itself.. isn't a bad one. A lot of great films are made on this premise. To prove this let me take out the films I don't like from this grid

Your still left with a ton of stone cold classics. You'll also notice the breakdown for the original is 1/8th garfield. The first three specials, the first bill murray film and the second dtv film really do all fall into this formula somehow.

The key is that the formula isn't inherently bad: All these films start with the protagonists comfortable or about ot be and whisked into danger but they all go in such diffrent directions. Heartwarming child bonding comedies, a meditation on jealousy and our own realities, betting a black man's freedom in a way that the producers had to know was fucked up, space dolphin played by matt berry, everyone has their own way.

This film... dosen't do anything NEW with it: The film just stacks other animation tropes and cliches on top: you have our hero whose spoiled by what he has, has issues with his parents, has to go on an adventure adressing those issues, deals with a theatrical yet intimidating main villian and their two dumb and sympathetic henchman, gets training from a mentor with a tragic backstory to do a heist, the heist goes bad, the relatoinship that got built up over th efilm is semeingly shattered but OH NO IT WAS A MISUNDERSTANDING and the climax happens cumulating in everyone being one big happy family.

I could do the grid thing with practically every trope in this movie and it just kinda plays the hits. It reminds me of the Super Mario Movie last year: I liked that one too, but it's mostly carried by the visual spectacle, seeing the creators meticuously turn mario's patchwork world into a living breathing place, to see a giant version of dk island, to see Bowser's Kingdom in all it's glory. It's still a decent film, but it uses a pretty stock framework to do it because either the execs wanted that or the creators didn't feel they had the room to really push it. I could see the same problem here as you have Sony, Viacom and various sponsors Sony wants shoved in all wanting a say. This dosen't feel like say Across the Spider-Verse (Same parent companY) or Nimona (Same production company) where they had more freedom, so they just went with a formula that worked for other movies and worked for garfield before. The question is does that formula ruin the movie? Is there enough to still make it enjoyable despite being stock as hell?

Yes

The film is still pretty damn fun and feels like a welcome return to the character after being gone in other media for almost a decade. As Quinton Reviews pointed out in his review of this film, the Garfield Show ended in 2016. It's been a WHILE since the orange tabby's been animated, with his only apperances otherwise being in video games, showing up in Lasanga Party, Garfield Kart and being a guest racer in Nicktoons Kart Racers 3 and a fighter in both all star brawl games, all welcome as it's just.. fun to play as garfield. Does he have any real connection to nickelodeon besides them owning the property now? Nope. Is it fun to have him anyways? hell yeah. Have him hit the avatar with a pie, either one!

The strip still exists but like many aging comic strips it's clamped to it's formula. I've been reading it daily for a few months now and while there are occasional gems

It's mostly the same stuff. You can find better jokes by buying the first few three in ones. It's not nearly as bad as some other legacy strips, seriously why is Blondie still around, but it sticks out in an age where more cartoons like Heart of the City or Nancy are allowing someone to flat out reboot the strip and try something different.

With a movie you have that blank slate to do whatever and while it does a standard animated movie TM with it to a point, the film does try some neat stuff I can't help but admire.

The biggest point is the animation. DNEG did the animation here and went above and beyond the call. I love their designs, combinging modern garfield with some of the classic garfield heft and proportions: his limbs are still super skinny, but they aren't as gangly as they are in the strip, feeling more in line with his body and the head resembles the one from the early 80's more. The eyes are also without a line, which seems like a small detail but ups the expressivness, something key to garfield as "funny facial expressions" are one of Garfield's best bits.

Slapstick is where this franchise thrives and the film mostly does this well. I wish there were more, but it has some fun visual gags: while it was trailered to hell and back, the fluffy fur gag is pretty funny. All the gags with Roland, big bad Jinx's muscle played by Roy Bloody Kent himself Brett Goldstein has a lot of fun gags: How this wall of folds and muscle just.. will show up any time Garfield tries to leave, disappearing behind a sign and pulling a cell phone out of his folds his boss refuses to touch. It's not a ton, but it's a lot of fun and while he must've been a nightmare to animate, so, many, FOLDS, it results in a character that's just inherently funny to see walk around and Goldstein's gruff voice just adds to it.

There's other great btis like Garfield and Vic stuck to a tree and using the vines to beat the hell out of each other, garfield getting smacked into a car windsheild and more.

The animation is just gorgeously expressive: the non garfield cast may be somewhat stock but damn are they fun to watch and the main trio (and Liz and Nermal in very brief cameos) are at their best. IT's fun to look at, visually gorgeous and easily the best part of the film: the film may not remotely stack up to some of the masterpieces we've gotten, nor does it try to, but it does look great while having a lot of fun doing it.

Since we're talking character let's look at our cast and starting at the top Billing we have Garfield himself. Like I said Chris Pratt does.. fine. Would've preferred Nick Offerman, gold star to whoever brought that up, but he dosen't ruin the character and is still dryly sarcastic enough.

Characterization wise he's a tad diffrent: He's not nearly as much of a dick to Jon and Odie, something CellSpex pointed out in their own review might be corprate not wanting Garfield to be as dickish and thus less markketable. While I do think that's the case, I also think they threaded the needle well: Garfield is still a massive douchey orange blob to them, but it's in less over the top ways: him pummeling john or punting Odie siimply dosen't play as well, so instead he maxes out John's credit cards and Odie is essentially his butler. The former isn't super funny, but is fitting enough, and it's telling Jon, pushover he's always been, dosen't really push back against it, while having Odie instead be his hyper compentetn sidekick works. It could've backfired, turning Odie into something like say the minons that say s"please merchandise me", but instead it gives Garfield a foil, someone to make passive agressive dog noises or leave him tied to his dad on a tree. Odie is still dumb, but having him be garfield's slightly more emotoinally sasvy and competient sidekick still works well and gives him more than just "ain't he dumb" as a joke for a 90 minute runtime.

Jon is done incredibly well here but I wish there was more of him. This seems to be the sentiment across most reviews, and I can't blame my fellow critics on this one: Nicholas Hoult equals Thom Huge at the part, and like Garfield it's not easy. But it works by doing it a diffrent way: Thom had a dry sarcasm to his john that contrasted nicely with his manic dorky side, while Nicholas Hoult just leans into John as a loveable mess and it works. His panic as he tries to reign in a kitten garfield from eating an entire itallian restraunt, resignment as he washes the cat, and general bafflement at his pet fits the character like a glove.

Sadly the plot.. really dose't leave much room for Jon. It's understandable: Even if his mouth now moves, Jon can't undrestand garfield and the film outlines this, with an app specifically to translate animals being needed and only being known to exist by an unhinged security guard. It still would've been fun to give him more of a b plot looking for his pets, maybe rope in liz or irma from the diner as side characters.

What B-Plot we do get though.. is easily the best joke of the film. Jon is left on hold by a lost pet hotline for SEVERAL DAYS growing more hilariously deshevleed along the way. There is nothing more jon arbuckle than the world pantsing him while he's down and his deranged rant to the guard at the pound when he picks up the boys that "I'm done waiting! The Jon who is waiting is dead!" is fucking great, as is his bafflement when the boys run out on him after getting home to go save Garfield's dad, and his wondering if he triggered garfield when Garfield runs out to bring his dad home at the end. Hoult plays a perfectly pathetic jon, the relatable doofus we all know and love and I hope any future projects both bring him on board and give him more to do. The man is brillaint

Likewise Harvey Gullien is great as Odie. He has to commuincate using barely intellgible dog sounds, and of course great visuals from DNEG, but does so well. The man's voice acting career is a slow burn but man should he do more. He was great in Puss in Boots, is aces here and should be in most animated films from here on out. If Sony needs an Alan Tudyk, they've got one.

Onto supporting we have Garfield's Father, Vic, played by Samuel L Jackson. Vic is a big kitty who left garfield behind as a kitten and whose past crimes force his son into a heist wtih him. Look like Keith David I could listen to Sam Jack all day, easy. He has a talent for being awesome no matter the movie and no matter how much he's just in it for a paycheck. He's playing a fairly stock "ex con dad" type character who wonders into his child's life and tries to reconcile, but he has so much fun with it it's hard to really notice and the design, a big giant muscly blob, works well as a contrast to garfield: both are big soft boys, but Vic clearly lifts.

The plot between the two is cliche, I won't lie.. son is bitter his father left but DADDY HAD A GOOD REASON FOR ABANDONING YOU and if done wrong can have some bad implications. If a parent left you and is a dick, you have no obligation to them. Even if their not you don't really.

The twist that Vic didn't MEAN to abandon garfield was obvious from a mile away: even seeing the trailer it was clear he probably wasn't the asshole Garfield thought he was. But to the film's credit they don't hide that it's more complicated: from the get go Vic TRIES to explain he left, but Garfield's both understandably pissed he said he'd "be right back" and never came back and that Vic's old partner Jinx is forcing garfield into the film's heist simply to fuck with vic. It's also the right push to get Garfield into the plot: i've seen complaints about how "oh this big heist film isn't garfield he just lies around the house".. .but a key element of most of the specials and the other movies is garfield kinda gets.. shoved into adventure. Here Come Garfield happens because the next door neighbor has the pound come and Odie's too stupid to run for it. He tries to ignore his friend being lost, and tries to tell Jon who naturally dosen't get his charades, but ultimately goes to save him. The key to getting garfield into an adventure is to push him into it: either he has an emotoinal investment or , like in this case, he really has no choice, like that time he fought a panther to protect Jon. You CAN get plenty of good slice of life nonsense out of the boy but i get that for a specail or movie you have to kick it up a notch and having Garfield forced into a life of crime fits well.

It's a bit fucking weird, but again so is garfield. It's something people tend to forget or don't really care to look up and that came up in a lot of reviews, but the specials could get werid. Garfield was on a talent show, went through 9 very diffrent very fucking weird lives, was a private eye, had a whole spy pastiche adventure in his daydreams, went to hawaii to stop a volcano with the help of Fonzie's ghost.. or was it james dean's ghost? it was someone's ghost, and of course met ghost pirates. Not every adventure was fucking insane, but it bears repeating sometimes the strip or specials or especially the show got weird, and that's alright. Frankly the films could go weirder and less stock, but this really isn't out of his wheelhouse. Like with Scooby Doo maybe research a franchise before you bitch about it. not saying everything's gold, lord no, but I am saying the franchise is way more experimental than it gets credit for.

The twist on WHY vic left though.. is heartbreaking. This ties back to the opening which you can see most of in a trailer: vic abandons his son, Jon finds baby garfield outside the window while he's having a sad single man meal at an itallian restraunt, Garfield eats everything in sight and Jon still adores his pet. The only part left out is Jon almost leaves Garfield behind, as his apparement dosen't allow pets.. but goes back. Why they added this.. I don't know.. but their origin is truly hearwarming and may be another reason why they toned down the asshole to Garfield being less of an abusive roomate and more Jon's spoiled teenage son.

Naturally though we didn't see VIC'S side: he went to steal some food for his son, had to wait for the worker's long as hell phone call becaues some dick won't feed a stray cat. I mean I get they come back but counter argument: who cares. As long as you don't invite a roving pack of cats, help the starving kitty you ass. At any rate by the time vic got back with half a fish, his son was gone and he watched the whole scene at the itallian restraunt.. and then watched Jon come back, realizing Jon gave his son a better life. He gave his son up so he could. As for why he never visted it's the painful but truthful worry of ruining his son's new life: vic's a career heist man, an alley cat and garfield was comfortable. The sad irony is garfield.. woudl've welcomed his dad in. Jon being Jon would've gladly adopted him. Garfield wanted both HIS dads. Vic instead watched from a nearbye tree, a revelation garfield only gets in the pound after Vic fakes a double cross... when really he knows Jinx will NEVER let garfield free of her grasp and thus returns the milk from the heist himself. Naturally garfield realizes this, gets a drone fleet to help him rescue his dad along with the bull they befriended earlier, and saves the day.. and Vic still plans to leave but ultiamtely garfield convinces him to stay. Is it a tad cliche? Sure. Did it still knock my fucking heart out? yes.

Outside of this emotoinal arc, Vic is a lot like his son, but more active, having more world skills... and it's not really played up. Vic's emotinal arc is well done but outside of it he dosen't have much charater. Only the fact he's played by sam Jack really lets him be a character. He's not BAD but I wish they'd fleshed him out more outside of his tragic backstory. It moves me.. but there's not much else to the guy.

Onto our bad guys, and Jinx, our main villian is a delight. She has a decent motive too: She was once a would be show cat, but choked on stage, genuinely found family with Vic.. and turned vengeful when he left her behind on a job, her hate twisting her into the operatic selfish tyrant we see today with her two henchman Roland, the foldy brett goldstein boy I mentioned before and Rupert, his twitchy partner played by SNL and Fire Island's Bowen Yang. Roland is great mostly due to the expressive animation and Goldstein's deadpan delivery. Youc an almost feel rupert about to threaten

Good times. yang.. gets less to do. Roland is just kinda there because they felt they HAD to have a pair of henchman and coudln't have just one big british foldy boy. It's also weird to me they didn't go with another ted lasso cast member. There's tons of options and if you already got the big bad and one of her henchman from there commit to the bit. The show's lined with talent.

Speaking of which Jinx is voiced by Hannah Waddingham, who like Goldstein was a dream on Ted Lasso. She also was recently in the fall guy which you should watch. Seriously .. go.. go do that. It's fucking incredible. At any rate she makes the most of the role hamming it up to all hell, giving Jinx a nice manical quality. Jinx isn't given a ton of layers outside of her backstory, but is hilarous enoguh with her big fluffy persian cat presensce, general evil dickery and awesome villian song that for some weird reason wasn't actually put in the film proper but makes the credits a joy to sit through, she's a LOT of fun and you can tell Waddingham is knawing on the scenery in the recording booth and loving it. I like her getting to flex her range post-ted lasso, already terrific as Rebecca but now getting to play a nice variety of parts. Jinx wouldn't be the same without Waddingham and the casting was perfect

Our penultimate major character is Otto. Otto is a bull and garfield's grumpy mentor with a tragic backstory because everyone has a tragic backstory in this movie except Odie and that's because they cut the scene of Lyman getting shot to death in the falkland's war. He's a bull who was part of the farm Garfield has to heist with is daddy guy, and was removed from it because the new owners are dicks, desperate to get back his one true love Ethel. He's played by Ving Rahmes, who does a great job and the character honestly isn't bad, it's just.. weridly sandwitched into this movie. A ways in and we suddenly get this guy who should be leading this whole other movie. The heist itself fits decently enough, but this whole tragic past, his history with the guard Margie, it feels like a whole other film that Garfield and Friends just wondered into.

Otto is fun to watch, his serious as hell tone contrasting with things like assinging Garfield roadkill or his deadpan assement that Garfield and Vic are going to die and are only ready because they'd need a month and have a day. He's not bad, he' sjust a bit undercooked> he does get his happy ending with Ethel back, so tha'ts nice, it just feels like another character in a cast that probably didn't need one more guy.

Finally we have Marge, the security guard played by Schmigadoon! star Cecily Strong. Strong fucking brings it to marge, who could easily just be this obstacle of a villian but instead is this super obessed guard who has a score to settle with vic, instantly recognizes that jinx calling to set vic up (And hilariously it just being Hannah Waddingham saying meow a lot), is a cat informing on someone, and has this unhinged energy the film needs and that fits garfield like a glove. Garfield is all about unhinged weirdos wondering into his life in other media. She provides a jolt of energy for the heist section and a nice way to payoff things later as she trades the truck for ethel and takes in Roland and Rupert while taking Jinx to the pound.. or to an unmarked grave. Marge.. is hard to read. I just love her though, having this werido who understand this elaborate animal plot somehow. Beauitful.

We also have a few smaller roll: Snoop Dogg plays a cat

Dev Joshi plays Liz for all of 5 seconds, and for some reason Jeff Foxworthy plays a bird for even less time.

The cast overall is decent, if a bit overstuffed, but iwth good enough performances to make you not care.

Before we move on a complaint i've seen here or there is that they don't really use garfield's supporting cast. I agree on Jon, Nicholas Hoult was too damn good to use that little, but for the rest of the cast.. I get it. None of them really fit into the narrative that well: Arlene, The Meanest Dog in the World, Nermal might of fit as members of the heist crew, it woudl've been intresting to see them gather one, but otherwise Jon's Parents, who I dearly love, don't quite fit (It'd be fucking werid to have garfield rob people he knows instead of a souless corperation0, Irma has no real place and Lyman got shot to death in the falkland islands. Other than their neighbors who used to show up, Garfield has no other recurring characters to use. it WOULD have been neat to use the US Acres cast for the heist, again could've gone full ocean's elven, but I get not adding even MORE characters to a crowded film, and possibly saving them for another movie down the line. Again Garfield dosen't have a big bench to pull from: if you have that full a cast that can stand on it's own and possibly anchor their own film, I can't blame the mfor saving them. Same for Arelen and Nermal Garfield falling in love or having to deal with his greatest enemy are both things that could anchor a sequel.

The Big Fat Hairy Conclusoin

So overall the Garfield Movie is.. fine. It's nothing exceptional, but it has a LOT of fun energy to it and out of the films i've seen i'ts easily the best.. and frankly I doubt Tale of Two Kitties or Pet Force is better. The film does have way too much advertising, a stock plot and way more characters than it needs.. but it compesates by mostly nailing the characters from the comic, having some of the guest characters be intresting, and when they aren't all parties involved are buffered by talented voice acting and gorgeous animation. This film is okay, and if you don't like Garfield, you probably won't like this film. If you like some goofy animation and some schmaltz though, you'll likely enjoy this one like I did. It's not perfect by a mile, but it adapts the strip's tone and style well, adds some florishes here and there, and leaves the door open for more. And frankly with it's success it gives me hope that other comic strips might get adaptations. After Paramount's treament of Phoebe and her Unicorn and Big Nate, we could use somre more comic strip movies with this level of animation, and maybe some more depth. I'd love to see films for more recent strips like Phoebe and her Unicorn, Wallace the Brave or Breaking Cat News that have both intresting casts to tap into and unique art styles that would look gorgeous on screen. I'd love to see some older strips get a new spin as well like Baldo or Zits, ones with a formula sure but a lot of visual flair. With this and the peanuts movie, we're hopefully seeing more comic strip adaptations and unlike last time this could be something good instead of CGI monsters from beyond the farthest star.

So I leave this film with an "I'ts alright you might like it" and the number two spot in my rankings of the specails i've covered

Next Time (Hopefully): It's Christmas in July so that Means it's time for us to get down on the farm with Jon's family for some musical numbers, home cooking and elaborate back scratcher b plots.

[elwolfen]

Alfred Molinathon Day 11

Love Is Strange (2014)

George Esteban Garea

His Role: My goodness, the tenacity and dedication between these two makes me believe that true love really can be an amazing thing!

Even after everything. George losing his teaching job at a Catholic school for finally marrying his husband of nearly forty years. Everyone knew he was gay, but oh, the Bishop saw it on Facebook, so fired effective immediately. So that means they won't be able to afford their apartment.

Thankfully, Ben's family helps out by taking him in, but George has to stay with Ted and Roberto (friends) so they can remain in the same city instead of staying two hours away. They both have good reasons: George and his piano lessons, and Ben with his galleries.

It's still difficult for the two to be apart. They haven't done so, probably for all those forty years! Seeing George being overwhelmed and lonely during another wild night was so terrible that he left in the rain to go and see Ben. As soon as he gets there, he just weeps into Ben's arms and holds him tightly, apologizing. The rest of the night was adorable, I love this scene. Joey (Ben's great nephew) sleeps on the couch while the two are in the bunk beds, and just this part is funny:

Ben: George, why don't you come down here where I can hear you better?

George: It's a bunk bed.

Ben: So?

George: You told me Joey's losing his patience with you. Can you imagine if you broke his bed trying to shag your husband?

Ben: I have missed having your body next to mine too much to have it denied to me for reasons of bad engineering.

George: *chuckles* Well, don't blame me if the whole thing falls apart.

The conversation and snuggling after is such a sweet touch to it all.

One night, during one of these parties, George meets someone who reveals that he's soon moving out of the perfect apartment. It was a bit too convenient, but I just wanted the best for them.

Scarily, after Ben continues working on his current art project and decides to turn in for the day, he falls down the stairs and tears his arm. Nothing broken, thankfully. It was all just a bit of a scare. It happens.

After all of this, George and Ben go to a bar, and Ben tells a white lie to get some free drinks. It was a cheery scene, drinking and chatting. It's a time to just breathe and unwind. Sadly, their last time together. After their last moments, the last we see of Ben, we see him just go down the subways stairs. Innocuous. Until we cut to a much later date. George got the new place all set up, and Joey is there to talk about him not going to Ben's service. He died. It's possible that he fell down the subway stairs, but it's never confirmed. I get Joey's reasoning. It's the same reason I wasn't in the room when my grandma's cat was euthanized. I didn't want that to be my last impression of him, just like Joey with Ben. He gives Ben's unfinished painting to George, and they hang it up together.

The last we see of George is looking at the painting. The last thing he has of his dear Ben. I wish it didn't have to end that way, but accidents beyond our control happen to everyone every day. It's strange like that.

~~~

The Rest of the Movie: Elliott's (Ben's nephew) family was irritating to watch. But I understand, I have grandma that really peeves me off! She constantly repeats herself, complains most of the time, and I literally can't stand being around her. But I wouldn't be an outright jack-ass like Joey (Elliott's son), I mean, there's no way she'd sleep on my bed. She can sleep on the couch she doesn't mind. But goodness, this child. Getting upset by Ben painting his friend, do you think he held him at gun point? No, he asked, and if Vlad didn't want to, then he wouldn't.

Joey's there in the background with his friend, Vlad, secretly stealing French books... because they want to know French? That's worth getting in trouble for? Stealing books from school? I guess. It was strange to focus so heavily on him at the end, watching cry about Ben's passing. I mean, before that, he talked about a girl he had a crush on with Ben, but besides that, he was rude to him. Watching him go ride his skateboard into the sunset with the girl was weird.

Kate (Elliott's wife), as I said about my grandma, I relate to having to deal with someone who keeps wanting to talk to you while you're trying to do something, she's trying to work. But the difference is that he didn't ask to be temporarily homeless. You all offered your places. Her being mad at Elliott makes sense. He's rarely ever home, so Ben will talk to her.

And Mindy... I didn't like her one bit. Just don't speak up, please? Thank you.

~~~

Ted and Roberto's way of living would be fun at first, but it would turn into an absolute nightmare for me if I were in the same situation as George. Endless nights or partying and sometimes D&D sessions. Also points docked for the couple. Cops... ACAB.