itsanerdlife

[itsanerdlife]

What I mean is my older stories. For those that have been around for a while, if you’re even still here at this point lol.

If I was to say I’m going on a rewriting spree, what would you want to see updated and adjusted???

[itsanerdlife]

If I was to say I’m going on a rewriting spree, what would you want to see updated and adjusted???

[itsanerdlife]

Ama’s Master List

Playlists

***

Series // One - Two

***

Short Stories  //  Series One - Two

***

Short Stories  //  Series One - Two - Three

***

Short Stories  //  Series

***

Short Stories  //  Series

***

Short Stories // Series One - Two

***

Stories

***

Halloween//

Characterless//

The Avengers Team//

Let Me Break Your Heart//

[itsanerdlife]

After years of back and forth. Dished out pain and trauma. Dating other people and trying to make the other jealous.

“You know baby girl,” he chuckles softly in your ear “it was never really over with us.” Leaning back he locks eyes with you. “Never will be either.”

[itsanerdlife]

Filthy Lies

Pairing: Howie Stark x Rogers!Reader

Young love is never easy. It's especially not easy when you're the daughter of a crime boss. Or when you fall for the son of your fathers biggest enemy. Nobody knows, so nothing bad can happen, right?

Lets see where this goes. Might be just this hot mess or it might be more I haven't decided.

Half in half out. Wiggling forward. Tips of sneakers, pressed hard against the siding. “Bitch, are you putting on weight?” Wanda huffs, yanking hard on my upper arms. Huffing back at her. “Shut up, if you opened the window wider.”

“Didn’t know your ass was getting bigger.” She grumbles, putting her foot against the wall, under her window. With a scrap, the both of us squeal when I pop through the window. We collapse to the floor together, with a loud thump, both of us laughing. Her door swings open, making us laugh harder. Our twin brothers and their friends standing there, looking at us, tangled together on her floor. “What in the fuck?” Pietro asks. “We didn’t want you to find out like this.” I cackle, eye level with Wanda’s boobs. “It’s a love affair we can’t resist.” Wanda laughs. The guys look to Sam, Wanda’s long term boyfriend. My brother John glares at him. “You two are going to get my ass kicked, thinking you’re funny.” Sam puts his hands up. John James Rogers. My twin brother, my father’s carbon copy. Only he somehow got some qualities from our uncle Bucky. Silent, deadly glare, seriously intimidating, dangerous. Only he looks exactly like our father, dirty blonde hair, sea blue eyes, wide shoulders, what girls call damn good genetics.

Gross. Apparently my twin is a hot commodity with the girls in our school. If they only knew.

“Who said anything about a three some?” I snicker, pushing myself up off my best friend. John turns his glare on me. “You don’t scare me.” I roll my eyes. “Sometimes I like to share Wanda.” I shrug, sitting back on my heels, as Wanda sits up. “Hey Y/N?” James smirks, leaning on the door frame watching me. Looking just like his father, my uncle Bucky. Jet black hair, cut short on the sides, the slightly longer top, styled perfectly. Winter blue eyes that give the impression they can see into your soul, built just as thick and wide as my own twin. Only he can be a lot friendlier, he got that from my dad, but he had his mother’s, Aunt Natalia, temper to the worse point. I lift a brow at him. “What do you want Jr?”

He glances at my brother, before looking to me. “What happened to the button on your shorts?” He lifts a brow, dropping his eyes to my denim shorts. The button snapped off.

My eyes snap up to Wanda’s, her eyes drift slowly up from the missing button to my own sea blue eyes.

“Ah,” looking around at the floor “it’s around here somewhere.” Shrugging, keeping my eyes on the floor.

“Y/N?” John’s brow drops down, staring at me. His phone rings. Saved by the ring. “Bet that’s dad. You gotta go.” I press my lips together, running a hand through my dirty blonde hair. He sighs, looking at his phone screen before looking at me again. “We’re not done having this conversation.” He warns me before they leave us.

When the door clicks shut, Wanda smacks me in the arm. “Hello!” She huffs quietly at me. “Hi.” I smack her back. “Close call don’t you think?” She thrust a hand at the door.

With a sigh I drop to the carpeted floor, rolling on to my back.

She slowly gathers her dark red hair up, snapping a hair tie around it in a perfect messy bun. She stands up, heading for her walk in closet.

“Something,” I swallow staring up at her ceiling “something happened, Red.”

Her voice carries back from the closet. “What kind of something?”

“Big.” I breathe.

“Did he try to put in your butt? I knew he was a weird dude. I told you this was a bad idea.” She huffs coming back towards me. I laugh softly as a pair of black sweats hit my chest.

“I wish butt stuff was my biggest problem.” Rolling my eyes as I remove my broken shorts, and wiggle into the sweats without leaving the floor.

“Bitch if you say you’re knocked up, I am pushing you down the stairs.” She warns dropping down on the bench at the end of her bed, near me.

“Wanda!” I lift my head looking up at her.

“It’ll be out of love I swear but you can’t have his baby!” She turns her hands up, shaking her head at me.

“I am not pregnant.” I sigh, dropping my head again.

“Praise the lord.” She mutters.

It falls silent between us for a moment.

“He didn’t.” She whispers softly, the silence speaking to her more than I could with words.

“Yeah.” I swallow, sucking in a deep breathe.

“Before or after? It could have been one to get you to let him get his dick wet.”

I laugh.

“If it was after everyone knows it’s a sex high and not real.” She points out.

Letting out a slow breath.

“Lying in his bed, holding me.” I admit.

Wanda gasps softly. Rolling my head I lock eyes with her.

“Yeah.”

Her eyes wide, hand over her lips.

“Post cuddling?” She wonders, dropping her hand.

Licking my lips, I look back to the ceiling. “I tried to get up after he tugged me back into his bed with him.”

We fall silent.

“That’s not good.” She swallows.

“I’m so fucked.” I groan, rubbing my hands over my face.

“He’s so fucked. Your brother will kill him.” Shaking her head.

She wasn’t wrong.

“My daddy will kill his family.” I groan, rolling over on my stomach burying to face into my hands.

“Girl,” she whips a pillow at me when I don’t reply. Grabbing the pillow I tuck it under my chin.

“Don’t red.” I plead.

“Are you in love with him?” Shock in her voice.

“Ugh!” I groan, lying my head on the pillow, facing her.

“Tell me you didn’t say it back! Tell me you didn’t tell Howie Stark, the son of your father’s biggest nemesis in the game, your brothers rival, that you love him!” She stares at me in utter shock, fear in the depth of her eyes.

Burying my face into the pillow I scream into it.

When I’ve finished Wanda sighs loudly.

“Fucking West Side Story eat your heart out.” She laughs softly.

I hate her but I laugh with her.

“Nothing about this is funny.” Sigh, looking over at her.

“John’s going to kill you.” She swallows. Letting out a shaky breath I nod.

“I know.”

Climbing the last few steps, the house is mostly dark. My father likely not home, and my brother doing only God could know what and I don’t want to know. Pushing open my bedroom door, I reach for the light on my nightstand. Bathing the room in a soft glow, my head snaps up.

“What the fuck?!” I gasp.

My twin brother sits in my chair, arms folded, completely relaxed, except for the look on his face.

“Baby sister,” he grumbles, looking me over with a cold glare. I swallow hard. “I think we need to talk.”

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

Everything Peaches 12/8/22 @mo320 @ml7010 @kmc1989 @irepeldirt @joannie95 @coley0823 @rileyloves5 @sexyvixen7 @duckestylez @abschaffer2 @drayshadow @shirukitsune @xoxabs88xox @carostar2020 @rosalynshields @destiel-artemis @hookslove1592 @royal-sunflower @iwillbeinmynest @bellamy-barnes @geeksareunique @happydeanpotter @fanfic-n-tabulous @steel-blue-eyess @mariekoukie6661 @wonderswritings @bless-my-demons @notyourtypicalrose @lets-talk-about-xyz @loving-life-my-way @shinycupcakebaker @also-fangirlinsweden @stupendous-science @daughterofthenight117 @dandelionsmarkthegrave @physically-a-cheesecake @letsgetfuckingsuperwholocked

[itsanerdlife]

Sad news today.

My laptop she ended this toxic relationship between us. She crashed out and no longer wants to be involved with me and my bad behavior. There was a lot of cussing and screaming on my end, hey at least I know I’m toxic. It was a good 7 years we had together. I’ll remember her fondly.

But in my toxic behavior, I’m ordering a new laptop today and will be up and ready to traumatize her in a short time.

Bonus is I learned from the last time my laptop crashed out on me and I lost everything. I had all my stuff cloud saved with Microsoft so I’ll still have all the stories I have stock piled for y’all lol

[itsanerdlife]

So if I said this is finished and waiting. Y’all still interested??

Losing You

Character: Bucky Barnes x Barton!Reader

Warnings: Lying, cheating, violence, language (I'll add more as I get more written)

It was supposed to be exciting news. Only the one with the shock was me. Five years of marriage and the trust shattered in the blink of an eye. Where do we go from here? He wants to explain. He’s been keeping secrets in ways I never knew. Am I any better though? Can we fix what he broke, where we went wrong? Do I even want too?

Remember you asked for Bucky… and I hold no shame what’s coming from this it’s a ride for sure.

[itsanerdlife]

One of you peaches, made a TikTok about my intention series, and it ended up on my fyp. Tumblr clearly isn’t letting me go away as easily as I thought. So here we are.

Hello, we’re back in this toxic relationship again. I probably need to finish the master list. Perhaps tmrw…

[itsanerdlife]

Ama’s Master List

Playlists

***

Series // One - Two

***

Short Stories  //  Series One - Two

***

Short Stories  //  Series One - Two - Three

***

Short Stories  //  Series

***

Short Stories  //  Series

***

Short Stories // Series One - Two

***

Stories

***

Halloween//

Characterless//

The Avengers Team//

Let Me Break Your Heart//

[itsanerdlife]

Am I writing a story I’ll probably never end up posting. Yes, yes I am.

As I have basically abandoned running a blog let alone posting anything. Do I suck? Yes yes I do.

[itsanerdlife]

#SPNNJ 2025 | Main Panel [video]

[itsanerdlife]

Captain America: Brave New World (2025) directed by Julius Onah

[itsanerdlife]

I was craving some MC love in my life and your stories popped back into my head. I’ve spent the wholeeee day laying in bed and reading them over again. 🤭💖

Awe shucks thank you!! So glad I could help you indulge!!

[itsanerdlife]

when I tell you I spent 3 hours searching for you account because I had a flashback of one of your frank castle fics that I must have read years ago now

I am unbelievably happy I finally found you 🫶

Oh so long to find little old me? I’m so glad you found me! Thanks for coming back!

[itsanerdlife]

Ama’s Master List

Playlists

***

Series // One - Two

***

Short Stories  //  Series One - Two

***

Short Stories  //  Series One - Two - Three

***

Short Stories  //  Series

***

Short Stories  //  Series

***

Short Stories // Series One - Two

***

Stories

***

Halloween//

Characterless//

The Avengers Team//

Let Me Break Your Heart//

[itsanerdlife]

Bad At Love 24

Pairing: Howie Stark x Barton!Reader

Warnings: Bullying. Language. Lying. Rude behavior. Belittling. Jealousy.

THE END

“You can’t blame me when it’s HIS fault she almost died!” Clint suddenly yells, pointing at Howie.

“Whoa.”

“Oh.”

“Too far.”

Bucky, Steve, and Sam comment.

“My fault?” Howie laughs. “You think I wouldn’t have traded places with her, in the blink of an eye?!” He yells back. “That it wasn’t killing me, dragging her body from the rubble?!”

“She wouldn’t have been there if it weren’t for you!” Clint points at him.

“You shut up!” Everyone looks over confused, Morgan stands in the opening of the living room. Her mouth puckered in anger. “You’re a mean big brother!” She points at Clint.

“Morgan, this is an adult conversation.” Clint sighs.

“Don’t patronize our sister, like you do your own.” Peter scoffs. “Tell him peanut.”

“You’re mean! Y/N’s nice, and you’re not. You’re a bully.” She sasses, glaring at Clint.

“Yeah, you’re a bully.” Howie agrees with his sister. Tony appears behind Morgan looking around at them.

“Oh, don’t mind us. We were watching in the car on the way here.” He chuckles, taking a slow sip from his coffee cup in hand.

“Jesus,” Peter whispers, shaking his head.

“Tony maybe Morgan doesn’t need to be apart of this.” Clint looks to their father.

Tony looks down at Morgan, back to them. “She’s fine, she heard everything in the car. You’re not her favorite person. She thinks you’re a dick.” His father shrugs.

“Yeah, a dick.” Morgan huffs at him.

“Language.” Steve sighs at her.

Tony snickers into his cup. Nat snorts softly.

“My brothers better than you, you suck. Poor Y/N.” Morgan ignores Steve.

“How’s that feel knowing a five-year-old thinks you’re a dick?” Nat smirks at Clint.

“I will do anything to protect my sister.” Clint glares at Nat.

“So will How.” Morgan cuts in, with a sassy head tilt.

“She’s got you there.” Peter smirks, shrugging. “He built her a nano shield bow. Volunteers to be hunted by her. Is constantly having Jarvis track her during a mission.” Peter scuffs at Clint.

“What?” Clint looks to him.

“All his emergency deploys for the suit, are tailored to Y/N.” His dad comments, sipping slowly.

Clint stares at him.

“There’s a, ah,” Howie scratches the side of his head “back up suit in the jet.”

“For what?” Bucky looks at him confused.

“Y/N.” His brother, father, sister and himself reply.

Nat and Bucky exchange shocked looks. Steve looks to Clint who looks in disbelief.

“Since when?” Clint asks softly.

Howie glances at his brother. “Since she almost died in my arms.” Howie spoke in almost a whisper.

“You built her an Iron Man suit?” Nat lifts a brow.

“It’s not an Iron Man suit.” He admits.

“What is it How?” Sam watches him.

“A lifesaving, medical suit.” He swallows. “It’ll keep her alive, shock her, nano freeze her open wounds, keep her heart beating, give her pain meds, emergency repair her body.” Glancing away from everyone.

“See you’re a dick.” Morgan breaks the silence.

“Okay miss.” Steve sighs, cutting between others, he scoops Morgan up.

“Uncle Steve,” she whines.

“You need a cool off Miss, that’s enough from you. Starting to sound like your father.” Steve softly scolds her.

“Momma owns shit.” She pouts.

Peter laughs, his dad inhales coffee.

“Wait, Morgan, that’s not,” his father follows the two.

“I don’t even have questions.” Nat shakes her head.

“Did Morgan just say Pepper owns shit?” Y/N stands in the opening, looking confused.

Peter rubs his nose quickly, looking exasperated. “That’s hard to explain.” He chuckles softly.

“Isn’t everything in the Stark house?” She smirks at them.

“You weren’t gone long.” He watches her.

“I’m not loving the way this went down, but what am I too expect from a Stark though? Didn’t your dad steal your mom from someone?” She shrugs, tipping her head

“True.” Nat points out.

“I’m not thrilled you pulled such a stunt, but I’m not willing to give you up either. Maybe just next time tell me you’re in love with me instead of being mean to me.” She shrugs, smirking at him.

“If it weren’t for you, Baby Barton, I’d be a bigger fuck boy. I’d give my dad a run for his money, if I hadn’t fallen in love with you.” He admits, smiling softly at her.

“Ain’t that the truth.” Peter mutters.

“I’m not going to stop doing risk taking things and nearly giving you a heart attack.” She shrugs at him.

“I’m my father’s son, let’s just hope without his heart condition.” He chuckles. “I’m going to push your buttons, making you hate me some days.” He admits.

“I’m Clint with a pussy.” She cracks a grin at him as everyone groans. Nat and Rogue laugh. He chuckles. “The headaches going to be every day.”

“As long as you don’t pass down your caffeine addiction to our kids.” He grins.

She rolls her eyes. “It’s not even that bad.”

“That’s your third coffee and it’s barely one.” Rogue side eyes her.

“Shut up.” Y/N blinks at her best friend.

“So, we’re just skipping over the kids comment?” Sam asks.

“Shut up.” Bucky slaps his metal hand over Sam’s mouth. Sam glares at him.

“You fuck up once, one time.” Clint points a finger at him.

“Shut up, Clinton.” Y/N sighs. “He’s going to fuck up, often.” She rolls her eyes. “Unless he fucks someone else, mind your own business. I’ll tell you when I need your help. Till then, maybe you need to get a life that isn’t mine.” She stares at her brother.

“In the last few years, I can count on one hand who I’ve slept with, outside of you.” Howie holds his hands up in surrender.

“Outside of her?” Clint looks over.

Howie’s eye twitches as he attempts to back track.

“Clint, go away.” Bucky removes his hand from Sam’s mouth, pushing Clint towards the opening. “They’re going to be together. You better go have a coffee and learn to live with it.” Bucky babbles as he continues to push Clint from the room. The others follow, chatting along as well. Rogue follows Nat, both talking about Rogue’s white strip of hair.

“You sure you want to do this?” She laughs, looking back from the group leaving them.

“More than I want to keep breathing.” He grins at her.

“Clint’s going to wish you’d stop breathing.” She shrugs.

“Every woman in the New York area is going to wish the same for you.” He rolls his eyes, moving towards her.

“Good thing we know I can throw a punch.” She lights up.

“Reckless.” He laughs, leaning in to kiss her. She pulls back, keeping him from kissing her.

“You ever hack my phone again, Howie I will do more than punch you.” She warns him.

“That’s hot.” He catches her lips. Pulling back slowly, she blinks up at him.

“I’ll hunt you with my actual bow.” She laughs.

He nods, kissing her again.

[itsanerdlife]

Bad At Love 23

Pairing: Howie Stark x Barton!Reader

Warnings: Bullying. Language. Lying. Rude behavior. Belittling. Jealousy.

When Clint brought his sister home, it was supposed to be simple, training the next Barton. With one simple rule, Baby Barton is off limits, no matter to who. The only one with a problem, Howie Stark. Baby Barton and Stark don’t exactly get along, but how long is Howie willing to push her away till he has a choice to make or lose out.

A/N: I finally finished this, and have gotten around to posting it. I expect it won't get notes but at least I can say I finished it and posted it.

“Howie!?” I scream throwing open the front door.

Nat pokes her head out from the kitchen, looking alarmed.

“Y/N?” She lifts a brow.

“Where is Howard?” I seethe, pausing to look at her.

“Living room, I think?” She stares in disbelief.

Storming past her, Rogue on my heels and surely Nat now too.

“Whoa.” Sam steps back quickly to avoid being run down when I don’t pause as he leaves the library.

“Howard?!” I yell.

“God?” Howie calls back.

“I don’t know what you did but I wouldn’t make a joke.” Peter whispers as I come into the living room. Bucky, Steve, and Clint are sitting among the chairs and sofas.

A game is playing on the tv.

“Y/N?” Howie sits up instantly.

“You have a whole fucking lot of explaining to do.” Pointing my finger at him.

Wide whiskey brown eyes watch me, nervously.

“Explain what?” He swallows.

“DON’T!” I shout, vibrating with anger. “Do not play stupid Howard. Games up, truths out, cat got out of the bag, so start fucking explaining.”

“Okay,” he nods slowly.

“She ran into Luke at the school.” Rogue whisper, shouts at Howie.

The blood drains from his face, Peter winces, and Steve physically cringes, even Nat takes a nervous step back.

“OH!” I look at the other three. “You fuckers knew!?” Cutting my eyes around.

“Knew what?” Clint asks. “What is going on?” He looks from me to Howie.

“Clint shut the fuck up, because so help me right now, I don’t have it in me to deal with your stupidity on top of this bullshit.” I warn him.

He watches me for a moment before settling back in his spot on the couch.

“I didn’t realize you were going to the school today.” Howie admits slowly.

“Since when did I need to run it by you, where I go, Howard?” Folding my arms over my chest, watching him.

“First of all, drop the Howard. You’re mad I got it. We know each other far too personally for you to be back tracking on names.” He slides to the edge of the chair, elbows on his knees, watching me.

I run my tongue along my teeth, keeping my lips sealed.

“What?” Clint sits up again, Bucky shoves him back.

“Quiet time Clint.” He pats his shoulder.

“Explain, or I’m done, I’ll walk away right now.” I bite out at him.

He stares at me for a moment. “Don’t threaten me, Y/N. You won’t get far, you can be mad, angry, but you’re not going anywhere.”

“Howie, you threatened my date!” Throwing my hands up in frustration.

“I did.” He agrees.

“You sent text from my phone!”

His lips press together.

“Oh my god.” I stare at him. “You did something worse,” I sigh.

“You’re not going to be happy.” He sighs.

“I don’t think she is already.” Peter whispers to his brother. He glares back, instead of replying.

“I had Jarvis hack your phone.” He admits.

I stare at him for a moment.

“And text Luke?” I ask.

“And show me all your text in live feed.” His mouth puckers slowly.

“Whoa.” Rogue whispers.

“No,” I gasp.

“Y/N,” he sighs.

“Fuck!” I turn on my heels slowly, one hand on my forehead, the other on my stomach.

“Listen, let me explain.” He stands up.

“Howie, so many, things, I said, so much about you!” I blurt out at him.

“Yeah,” he shrugs “I know.” We watch each other for a moment.

“That’s why you did it.” It comes out close to a whisper, he steps closer.

“I told you Y/N, I would do all the worse things I have to, to have you. I am not sorry for all that I had to do to have you, for all the horrible things I did that made you mine. Cause that’s what you are Y/N Barton, mine. Even if I have to pull horrible, pre brain washed Bucky moments, you will always be mine.”

“That is seriously so fucked up, Howie and you know it.” Staring up at him.

He nods slowly. “It is, and I’m sorry you found out this way. But I’ll never be sorry for making all the memories and perfect moments with you. I only regret not doing it sooner.”

“Do you not see how messed up that is?” I sigh watching him. He smirks at me, fingers brushing across my cheek.

“You aren’t any better Baby Barton. Throwing yourself at Sam just to mess with me.”

I glance away, pressing my lips together. “Maybe I was taking a page out of your book, Baby Stark.”

Whiskey brown eyes soften, glinting at me. “That’s why we go so well together, baby.”

Chewing my bottom lip, struggling. “Howie you invaded my privacy. You threatened someone for wanting to do what you never got the nerve to do.”

“I know. I’m sorry it hurt you, but I’m not sorry I did it.”

“You’re right. It did hurt me. You’ve been lying, for your own gain. I need to think this over.” Patting my hands slowly on his chest. I step back from him. Fear and pain flash in his eyes.

She turns, leaving the room, taking all inside him with her. Rogue pauses look from Y/N to him.

“I’ll talk to her.” She offers in a soft voice. He nods, watching her hurry after her best friend.

“Clint.” Buck struggles.

“No, fuck quiet time! I got something to say!” Clint suddenly yells.

“Let’s just sit down and talk.” Steve offers, trying to keep Clint back.

“Fuck off Rogers!” Clint shoves him to the side. “Why do you think it’s okay to hurt people?! To treat my sister like you do?! Who hurt you so badly? Did mommy and daddy not love you enough?!” Clint shouts at him, only kept at bay by Peter.

“Clint, stop.” Nat warns him.

“No Nat I want to know.”

Howie sucks in a breath watching Clint. Since it was all coming to light.

“You did!” He snaps loudly. Making the room stop.

“What?” Clint blinks at him.

“You did Clint! You made her off limits to everyone! You told me to stay away from her! You gave me no choice! You threatened me to stay away from the girl I’m in love with! If you’d just shut up and get over yourself, we wouldn’t be in this situation!” He points a finger in Clint’s direction. Nat’s now got her hands on his chest, keeping him back.

“In love with? No not you, you,” Clint scoffs.

“Sleep around? Date lots of woman. Actually, I rarely fuck them. Sure, I have dates, I don’t pay attention too, while I track your sister like Ted Fucking Bundy! Because she’s not allowed to be my date. Maybe stop acting like you know everything.” He scoffs at her brother.

“You put them in this position, Clint.” Nat turns looking to her best friend.

“They ended up sneaking around because of your rules, because you try to control your sister.” Bucky speaks up.

“I do not try to control my sister!” Clint scoffs loudly, offended.

“Clint, you do. Since we took Barney down and he begged you not to do it. You controlled him, because you thought you knew better. Only to find out Hydra was holding your sister, in order to get him to work for them. When we rescued her, you haven’t let her make a choice for herself.” Steve reminds Clint.

He flinches away from the memory. Howie does the same. The state she was in, the way it hurt them in different ways.

“Someone needs to look out for her!” Clint grinds out.

“What about this whole team?!” Bucky yells suddenly. “What do you think we don’t love her?! That we don’t want what is best for her? That she is only your family?! Cause I can tell you now she is my sister too. I would resort to pre brain washed me if I had to, if it came down to protecting her.” He glares at Clint.

“Is that just how you all describe crazy?” Sam wonders looking around.

“Unhinged, dark, fucked up willingness with no regret.” Nat shrugs.

Sam blinks at her.