#being told gay is wrong

[remembertheplunge]

Sweetwater's

March 4, 1988.  Friday

My God, whadda day. I never did make it to Sacramento. Instead, a drink turned LONG.

I hankered for a man. Not really the prettiest man, but, a man. Sam.  Who thumped me along side the head with a bible and then said—maybe—and “can we just be friends?” I said “yea”. Frankly, oddly, I’d prefer it—I’ll keep the LUST in my heart. I came out to Sam  at Sweetwaters. DAs were every where.It was a good bye party for one of them. RISK—SMILE.

Sam  said “gay is bad”. I said “Don’t try to save me.”

He attacked from many angles.

I emerge content and happy.

If the DAs or Sam  know or tell, (that I’m gay) what care I? Great night and life.

End of entry

Margin note to above:

June 15, 1990

The man at the Town House Bar asked  me “Are you happy with Life?” “Yes” I said, really feeling “yes”.

He said “I am, too.” really feeling “too." 

End of margin note

Notes 9/13/2024:

From what I recall about Sam (not his real name), he was very religious. Apparently he was taught in his church that gay was evil. And so, if I am remembering correctly, Sam told me that my being gay was wrong and evil on more than one occasion. This was despite the fact that I believe he, himself was gay. I haven’t heard from or of Sam  for decades now.

The Town House Bar was a gay bar in Sacramento, California. What the man at the Town House was asking me was “Are you happy being an out gay man?”

The DAs were Deputy District Attorneys. I was a Deputy Public Defender in 1988, so I would have known and worked closely with most or all of the DA’s in attendance.

RJ Sweetwaters  restaurant opened in the mid 1980’s in Modesto, California on 9th street. It closed in 2002 and the building  later burned down. It’s just a gravel lot now. 

I drive by that lot often on my way in and out of town and still see my  1986 good bye party taking place there. I was leaving the Public Defender’s office after working there two years.  Judges, DAs and Public Defenders came to the party. The office gave me a brief case as a good bye present which I still have.

I returned to the Public Defender's office in 1987, only to be fired in 1997 largely because on my return I had come out as gay and let people know  that I was working with and giving support to men living and dying wit AIDS. In 1997, there was no good bye party. No brief case good bye gift. . Just a boot out of the door. And, an unending story to tell. 

[poisonousquinzel]

sometimes a family is just a silly jester, her two carnivorous hyenas and her "Hot Plant Goddess" girlfriend <3

DC's 'Twas the Mite Before Christmas (2023-) #1

"The Princess Switch"

Writer: Rob Levin | Artist/Colorist: Bob Quinn | Letterer: Hassan Otsmane-Elhaou

"It's A Bunkerful Life"

Artist/Colorist: Andrew Drilon

[thebroccolination]

THE EX-MORNING SERIES CONCEPT

By now I think many people have heard that KristSingto’s upcoming series is an original script that was written for them. What we also have confirmed is that it was written about them.

[source]

KRIST: This series was written by P'Backaof and directed by P'Lit where they created this script from the start deliberately for the two of us and they got information for the characters etc. from KristSingto directly. In the series, the name for P'Sing is Tamtawan, and my name is Phatapi. And Tamtawan Tamtawan and Phatapi are KristSingto themselves.

INTERVIEWER: Does that mean you play yourself?

KRIST: [laughing] Yes, we act as ourselves, so it's not difficult at all.

Today, Aof elaborated on his part on Twitter:

[source: @backaof]

[translation: @_beinglistener]

And Jojo added:

[source: @jojotichakorn]

[translation: @_beinglistener]

So, two gay men are the leading creative minds behind KristSingto’s comeback series. Time to study up on your KristSingto history, kids. \:D/

Long live sanctioned RPF. 🎉

[starwikia]

suicide cw

look i have been in this area before mentally. it sucks and i wouldn’t wish this on anyone. but, and this is going to sound callous, but i don’t feel any sympathy for james somerton. even if i hope he’s like. not dead. But thats all the amount of goodwill im willing to give him. The more i think about this really, the more angry i am. 

ngl this entire situation is another example of how white people weaponize their mental illness to avoid consequences. Im seeing it in real time.

this man has a continuous habit of using self-harm as a get-out-of-jail-for-free card. in both of his apologies, he has worded his supposed attempts in ways that were clearly meant to guilt people who displayed his plagiarism and overall horrendous history of racism and misogyny. i say supposed because, while i’m not saying those are lies and this would he such a fucked up thing to lie about that i don’t want to think he has, unfortunately, it’s been proven again and again that his word can’t be trusted, as he’s known to lie to try get out of consequences. Hes a proven liar. him lying about this is actually the best case scenario, because no one should go through this entire situation, wouldnt wish this on anyone, but you can only do this so often before people stop sympathizing with you. is this callous? Yeah, but like. I’m actually fucking angry he cant straight up take no as an answer. that this is how he reacts realizing he cant be one of the Cool Kidz™️ on youtube anymore. he acts like he DESERVES a career, like its not a privilege hes lost due to his own actions.

He lied about apologizing and forgiving people, he lied about giving the money to hbomberguy to give to ppl he ripped off (yknow, instead of doing it himself), he lied about the jessie gender situation and rewrote the narrative to make it so he isnt the bad guy, and hes the victim all along actually!

you can’t tell me that supposed last message of his isn’t meant to be a 13 reasons why esq attempt to deflect the blame “look i’m going to kill myself and it’s all YOUR PEOPLES FAULT for not letting me achieve my DREAM of being filmmaker IN PEACE!!! I just wanted Nick’s (the guy who I have thrown under the bus again and again) portfolio up!! Im just being a good friend dont you all FEEL BAD” he refuses to take ANY ACCOUNTABILITY of any of his actions and he IS STILL trying to shove the blame over to other people again.

it’s also pretty ironic people are like “uhhh well hbomber’s fans harassed him!!!” like hbomber outright told people NOT to HARASS JAMES!!! ALSO acting as if james doesn’t have a very real documented history of STRAIGHT UP sending his fans to harass and threaten smaller creators, more notably women, trans, and bipoc creators. especially after he’s stolen typically very personal anecdotes so he could profit from them. so why can he do it but the second people are like “hey this guys an actual piece of shit.” and he can’t handle it suddenly people are trying to white knight his shit? like no he doesn’t get that. he doesn’t get that at all just because he couldn’t handle the consequences of his actions. 

what? were supposed to stay quiet about a man profiting off of other minorities because he wanted to be the spokesman for all gay people? people tried to solve this on a smaller, more private scales for YEARS and he kept doing it. it was clear that the giant public video was the ONLY way to get people to notice. HE WOULDVE GOTTEN AWAY WITH STEALING 87 FUCKING THOUSANDS WORTH OF DOLLARS. HE CANT HANDLE THE FACT HE CANT GET AWAY WITH IT. 

am i supposed to feel bad for the guy who basically threatened a trans woman with the police? i don’t care what anyone says, it’s so fucking obvious that he threatened jessie by implying he was getting the police involved in their conflict. what am i supposed to act like that didn’t happen? are we supposed to pretend like he didn’t glorify nazi’s and outright said that gay people made up a good chunk of the nazis? That he didnt say america joined ww2 bc they were jealous of the NAZIS. WHAT WOULD POSSESS YOU TO FUCKING SAY THAT. but then? He gives women (not even women most of the time, he misgenders nonbinary ppl constantly) shit for writing mlm. are we supposed to act like he doesn’t straight-up sees himself superior and better than people of color and steals their works to put himself on a pedestal? Are we supposed to act like he didnt spit on our elders by saying “only the boring gays survived aids” like man! Fuck you! He BLANTANTLY MAKES UP HISTORY TO PUT HIMSELF ON A PEDESTAL!! HE ACTIVELY TRIED TO REWRITE LGBT HISTORY TO SUIT HIS FUCKED UP NARRATIVES!

yes this sucks ! no one deserves this but no one should be making him a martyr. Thats what he fucking WANTS! He wants to be immortalized as a victim!! (again, supposedly, it was reported hes alive but its not confirmed).

The shit he got isnt near the amount of fucking callous behavior hes done again and again. Again, to drill this point, EVEN IF HE DIDNT CALL THE POLICE HE THREATENED A TRANS WOMAN INTO THINKING HE DID!!! The fact he tried to use a head injury to justify years of the outright ghoulish shit fucking astounds me. Why the fuck did anyone in his life thought it was a good idea to let him TRY to come back. in the end, he had options. he didn’t need to try to make a comeback. HE DIDNT NEED TO FUCKING LIE OR IGNORE THE SHIT HE WAS CALLED OUT ON the reality is, he wanted to come back thinking he could shove it under the rug, was told that no dude, you’re not allowed to be a youtuber anymore. you’re done. you need to move on and went full nuclear. it’s not on anyone’s hands but his own. HES BEEN DOING THIS TO HIMSELF!! But nah man we cant call his shit out bc hell may or may not kill himself. Fuck the other minorities who have the same issues but worse and sometimes BECAUSE of him. This is going to SUCKKKK so bad when other ppl, specifically white gays, are going to weaponize this shit to get away with their stuff.

[gilliontidestriderchampionoftheu]

its funny how the only thing from the undersea that gill seems to be unable to let go of is the idea that he has to be the hero

[marauderswolf22]

i love the idea that everyone kisseed lily before james. imagine that, he would be absolutely pissed off lol. remus-when they were drunk-learning togheter (it's my idea and i dunno on how would it look), sirius when they would want to annoy james one time, peter when they would play truth or dare and some girl wouldn't want to kiss him (bItch) and lily would say -i can kiss you pete (yes, i stole that from anne with an e) (absolutely love this scene), and bassicly james would die in front of all of this

[introspectivememories]

everyday i wake up and i think about carlos reyes anc his relationship with his sexuality and his parents. what do you mean he came out to them when he was 17 and he's still waiting for them to say something? what do you mean he's still waiting?? what do you mean his father didn't want him to be a cop because he thought carlos was too soft? what do you mean he came out at 17, scared and nervous, and they smiled and told him it was okay only to turn around and spend the next, what, decade?, never talking about it?????

[pettytiredandjewish]

Y’all- I swear these people have too much time on their hands…

(Thank HaShem for my sister who warned me about this) I was on my way home from Starbucks to drop something off when I started hearing chanting up ahead (and when I mean chanting it was so fucking scary and had neon- nazi vibes). These ass holes were right by my building (and over at the park)- chanting about how queers and trans people are pedos and how we all need to be saved. (I was also told by someone who was walking my way that they’ve been following/harassing people). I had one guy (the one who’s looking up at me) go on about how gays should not be around kids and that we are all pedos- how I need to be saved ( I told him that I was Jewish and did not need to be saved- he then told me well since I was Jewish, I really needed saving or I would burn in hell lol) had this other guy, who was carrying bag pipes go off on how he’s only protecting the kids from the gays and drag queens ( I then told him that the only thing that kids need protection is from him and his cult). So yeah that was a thing…

[cosmic-walkers]

i love how the main message in the wolf hall trilogy is how power, no matter how humble the person is, will corrupt and will make them a mirror of the people they hated. thomas spends a lot of time speaking poorly about the boleyns, the howards, gardiner, henry, etc., but he starts to mirror their personalities. he becomes cutthroat, treacherous, cruel, yet thinks he's untouchable.

what i don't think the message is, is that a low born man shouldn't come into power. because arguably, he was the only one there who could do the job right.

it is just interesting to see how he's transformed and essentially doesn't even realize it. but he becomes a darker, colder person and he starts to mirror that.

[canisonicscrewyou]

coworker butted into a conversation one day MONTHS AGO where I was telling someone else "yeah, one of my friend groups in high school were all really mean to each other, because we were all repressed queer teens in catholic high school, we were all biting each others' heads off" <- they missed all of the actual conversation so that they could say "I never had the energy to be mean, but okay." whenever me and my other coworker were talking.

Cut to today. They are talking to me about the environment at another store. They then say out of left field "Oh, it's like that thing where you... Oh. Well. I guess you were the one who was the bully growing up, right?"

Readers. Besties.

The way I stared at them for a solid minute of confusion before finally, awkwardly saying "... I was bullied growing up for being autistic and queer...?" because like. I'm. What??? How the fuck am I supposed to respond to that??? How does one respond to that??? (Also. The fact that I needed my partner to look at me and go 'they said you were a high school bully to be mean to you Ryker'. Sometimes you cannot take the autism out of the boy even a little even if you try really hard.)

[doctorwhoisadhd]

aw andy is the sweetest guy on the earth

[s1utlvr]

Going to a summer camp would heal the 12 year old vsco girl that lives inside of me and comes out every summer

[carfuckerlynch]

hahaha apparently people I used to be friends with are spreading rumors that I'm "predatory toward trans men" sure hope this won't have any consequences!

[eliotquillon]

i think some of you need to sit down and interrogate why you dislike sabina so much because from where i’m sitting a lot of it is just thinly veiled misogyny. you don’t have to ship her with alex and you don’t have to like her but i’m so tired of people treating her as nothing more than an obstacle to their ship of choice and then trying to shift the blame onto horowitz for writing her poorly when there are literally dozens of male side characters who we know nothing about that get more fandom attention than sabina does. she’s not some evil irredeemable wench for struggling to support alex after the events of eagle strike. she’s a fifteen year old girl whose entire life was upended and has to watch someone she cares about be blackmailed into putting himself in danger again and again. if you can forgive yassen for sending alex to scorpia or k-unit for treating him like shit in brecon beacons, why can��t you forgive sabina for pulling away and trying to live a normal life. you can find her annoying or boring or pointless as a character, but alex very clearly cares about her. acting like he doesn’t says more about your attitudes towards female characters than it does horowitz’s lol

[aromanticannibal]

ppl really b acting as if there's only one specific ship that has weird shippers that will complain about ppl not shipping their otp. it's literally always the case you either get fucked over for liking a gay ship or for liking a straight ship or for liking a toxic ship or people just start going "oh there's nothing wrong with the ship but the shippers💀" and you don't fucking know what they're talking about. like can we all just chill. the weird shippers r everywhere it's called some ppl are assholes sometimes. it's not fandom specific

[soupamor]

so i have an uncle on my mother’s side who married a woman and had three kids with her. he’s gay. he found out during the marriage and he didn’t want a divorce, so he didnt tell his wife. instead he cheated on her, become short tempered, cruel, starting behaving in a way nobody had seen him act before. loathed his wife, his kids, any reminder that he wasn’t living the life he wanted. if you read this and think it’s homophobic for me to call this nigga a piece of shit, i don’t know what to tell you