#begging people to at least TRY and understand characters and their roles in a story

[chivaleone]

guys. guys you can’t just make jason todd your “everything character.” he’s not one of those mix-and-match skylanders— you can’t just take traits and trauma from other characters and give it to him, erasing the purpose and impact that those parts of those characters have in/on the narrative.

[marksbear]

Hear me out, 141 boys x southern/cowboy male reader, he wears the his hat and/or boots round base cause it reminds him of home

I can imagine Soap toying with him and making Wild West jokes and the like

Maybe even a reference to the “you wear the hat, you ride the cowboy”?

I'm listening loud and clear my friend! I love anything about southern people and their culture and all that jazz. SO I hope you like this!

And only Soap and Price IM SORRY! Its just that i'm in the hospital trying to get my shit together and physically I can't handle writing too much. But I will add more characters

141 Boys x Cowboy reader.

Soap!_________________________________________________________

🤍 "What's with the hat?" Soap asks looking at Y/n while he takes down an enemy. "What 'ch ya mean?" Y/n answers already knowing where this is leading. "The cowboy hat. Really? In the middle of battle." 🤍 BURST OUT LAUGHING WHEN HE HEARD YOUR ACCENT (But he literally can't be talking.)

🤍 He likes to mimic your accent. 🤍 "It's hot today in'it?" Y/n says sitting down on next to Soap in the base. "The hell did you say?" Soap asks whipping his head towards you. 🤍 BOY dies trying to understand you sometimes BUT always makes an effort to understand you. 🤍 When he first saw you wear a cowboy hat he almost fainted. He was weak in the knees when he saw it. 🤍 When it's Halloween he'll dress up as a thief/ outlaw and you be the sheriff. Both of you acting like the role. Next time he'll want to be a cowgirl while your the cowboy. 🤍 Loves it when you give him a cheesy nickname it doesn't even matter how strange it is to "Hey huckleberry." even to "Hi my horseshoe."

🤍 IF you can ride a horse he'll just go feral about it. Begs you to teach him how to ride or at least let him sit on the horse with you. 🤍 Steals your boots all the time. Like he does it so much and so often it's basically his boots as well. 🤍"I thin'ak you're in the wrong part of town." Soap says in his annoying fake southern accent whenever you go in the wrong direction or something. 🤍 "So...You live on a ranch or what? Or you live on a farm y'know with the animals and all that." "I told you millions of times. I live in a ranch over here, but I got me a farm in Texas." Y/n answers with a groan. 🤍 "Am I your stallion?" Soap asks after millions of things about southern states and their slang. "You? my stallion? Darling have you been searchin up southern things again."

🤍 He melts when you call him any nickname in your accent. Like knees weak. Even if it's an insult he wouldn't even care tbh.

🤍 Takes your hat almost everyday. Wear it around the base and run or hide when he sees yo

🤍 Downright submissive when you whisper anything to him with your accent.

Soap walking around the base suddenly stopped by a pair of arms wrapping around his waist holding him in a tight grip. "Did you know...You wear the hat, you ride the cowboy?" You whisper in his ear after sneaking up on him. Soap squirms in his arms. "C'mon since you always wearin my hat, how bout I show you the consequences."

Price!_________________________________________________________

💚 Understand the struggles of having an hard accent to understand.

💚 He tries his best to teach the team about your accent and the words you say to help them understand you.

💚 Likes to listen to your rambling or stories just to hear your accent sometimes. It makes him feel so calmed and at peace.

💚 You make him chuckle every time you give him a weird southern nickname. "Captain honeybee?" "Yes L/n?"

💚 Likes to compare accents with you and the others. Like one big group of men just swapping words in their accent or language.

💚 MAKES Asks you to read things for him.

💚 He loves the fact that your country.

💚 Likes to watch you from the far when your wearing your boots and hat he loves them so much and he thinks you look great with them.

💚 If you have a thick accent he will help you try to lose it even though hes struggling with his own.

💚 Quick to give you comfort when ever you miss home or something.

💚 Once a moth both of you go on a trip back to the country and y'all stay at a farm taking care of all the barn animals together. His favorite animal is probably the goats.

💚 Wears your cowboy hat when he thinks your not looking.

You give him your hat, watching him put it on his head. Price looks at you suspiciously when he sees your smug smirk. "You wear that hat, you ride the cowboy." Price stares at you wide eyed and a bit caught off guard.

THE END?? GONNA ADD MORE BOYS SOON!

[that-ari-blogger]

Win, Lose, Take, Fail (Remember)

Discussion of stories and historical research are very similar practices. A ton of history is source based, and is, in a very real way, media analysis. A historian will look at a text written centuries ago and deduce not only linguistics, but also the themes prevalent in the day-to-day life.

I will eternally be impressed by some of the ideas that people find written between the lines of even the most well known about pieces, and its humbling to know that the stories that we tell in the modern day might be time capsules in their own right.

If you’d indulge me for a moment, I would like to briefly address those future historians who may be reading this: Coral reefs are magical, you guys really missed out on that, sorry.

Anyway, this is a post about She-Ra and the Princesses of Power, so what am I going on about?

Well, there are a few sources in both media analysis and historical reconstruction that are more valuable than an almost objective source. I say almost, because every narrator is biased, and that impacts even what they decide to include. No source is perfect.

So what about a think piece that lays out its biases for your convenience? How about a look directly into the mind of your characters to see what they perceive about the world and what they wish it could be? How interesting would that be?

This intro is getting a bit long.

Let me explain.

SPOILERS AHEAD (She-Ra and the Princesses of Power, Stray Gods: The Role Playing Musical)

My analysis of this episode can be summed up in one sentence. Catra’s worldview and desires are fundamentally opposed to her reality, and so when she forces the real world to fit it, things fall apart.

This is nice and all, but it fails to take into account the nuance of her perspective, and the fallacies inherent in this desire. But its also important to understand that this is where Catra’s redemption arc fails, or… where this redemption arc fails.

In my eyes, Catra has two main redemption arcs, one that stops in this episode, and one that starts up at the start of the next season. If you want to be granular, she has about a hundred different attempts, but that’s needlessly specific and way to close to exactly what I do on this blog for comfort.

But I think its easier for the purposes of analysis to divide Catra’s journey in two and discuss why the first fails and what the second would have to do to succeed.

Starting with something that threw me for a while. Catra isn’t conscious of this different world, at least not until the end of the episode. Which is a brutal trauma response. Catra doesn’t want to succeed in the life that gets better, she doesn’t care for healing, she wants to forget. Catra will burn the world down to keep a blindfold on and leave her memories behind. Blissful ignorance.

Let’s talk about Stray Gods: The Role Playing Musical.

Stray Gods is a Greek mythology, murder mystery, musical, video game, and conveniently, I have a series about it on this blog. (Link)

A slight quirk of Stray Gods is that the online argument I have seen about it has mostly focused on picking the second best song in the set list, because the most powerful is so obvious its almost funny.

Read my analysis of The Ritual for more information, but briefly, Aphrodite is a trauma survivor who repeatedly subjects herself to a form of amnesia in order to forget the horror she has experienced. Ring any bells?

Instead of trying to get better, Aphrodite slaps a band aid on the wound and tries to ignore it. This might help her eventually, but it directly harms those closest to her.

“Mother, I’ve stood by your side, now I no longer see, the purpose of love, when it tears at the centre of me. My arrows are rusty, forget the bow, and I won’t be begging you not to go, but when you’re away, you leave us a broken home, and you leave me alone. Lost in a moment, lost in a song.”

That was Eros singing. Cupid, the one with the arrows of love. This is someone who’s life has been wrecked by his mother’s trauma. Not in the same way as Catra lashing out at Adora, but with similar effects.

Both characters have tried to apply a quick and easy solution to a more difficult to solve problem, and the side effects of that are what perpetuate this cycle of trauma.

Hey, look at that, it’s the theme of cycles again. It’s almost as if I have a point here.

I could go on for hours about this one song, and I have, three times on this blog for a start, but I know I’ve annoyed people in my life with this obsession. But, I want this post to be vaguely on time, so I have to move on.

Before I do, though, the trauma in the idols (gods but fancier) of this story has a little quirk in its realisation that matches with Catra, linguistics of trust.

None of the idols in this musical use the word “friend” at all. Well, that’s not true, Pan says it once in a mocking way, but nobody uses in earnest. This exhibits itself more noticeably in The Ritual, where Aphrodite specifically says the following:

“He struck a deal with our enemy’s enemy.”

These characters can only conceptualise the world in terms of give and take, and of relationships in terms of allies or enemies.

Catra, meanwhile, can’t conceptualise the world in anything other than win, lose, take, and fail. Her ability to trust has been eroded so much that she will destroy the world to obtain something that has been attributed value for her.

That’s why she willingly forgets things, and its why her revelation is heartbreaking. Catra thinks the only way she can trust again is if she loses the memory of betrayal, but that’s not exactly how it works.

The moment in which Shadow Weaver is nice to Catra is a demonstration of why I don’t think genre exists. This is a comedic moment, right? It’s got the build-up, you think it’s going one way, then it undercuts itself with the unexpected. So why is it so devoid of humour?

Because the reaction of everyone in this, including the audience, is one of fear, and serves to validate the fact that Shadow Weaver is abusive. Even if someone is being kind in the moment, if you automatically flinch in their presence, there is a history there that you can’t escape from.

Catra doesn’t know why she is scared of Shadow Weaver here, she can only remember the good times, but the PTSD from her mother figure’s actions runs deeper than surface memory. It’s a wound that still hurts, even if you look away from it or cover it up.

This is actually why things keep breaking in this reality. The whole thing is based off people ignoring specific details. It’s centred on complacency, but it doesn’t understand its characters.

Which is where the hamartia and all of those complicated terms come in. Essentially, Catra wants to keep Adora with her, but part of Adora is the strengths and flaws that lead to her leaving Catra.

Adora is fundamentally kind, but she’s also an incredibly quick thinker. This doesn’t always lead her to the most reasonable solutions, but it means she can almost immediately recognise that things are wrong. In this case, the fact that people keep saying everything is perfect, and nobody says that this much unless they are hiding something. So, Adora looks inwards, and notices holes in her memory, glimpsing beyond and getting those flashes.

The world reacts in a similar way, things exist contrary to their nature, and collapse in on themselves. This world is a paradox, the story has turned cannibalistic and is eating itself alive. It can’t be supported by the fallacies that hold it together.

Those fallacies in question, are Catra’s desires, and now I get to talk about how the first arc ended up here. Because we can all agree, if a character’s developmental trajectory ends up with them willingly destroying the world out of spite, things haven’t gone so well.

Catra has been trying to achieve her own autonomy from the trauma and abuse that coloured her upbringing and guided her actions in the Horde. But she hasn’t been confronting how this has actually affected her biases. The band aid solution comes back, but here it takes the form of those four words. Win, lose, take, fail.

“I won’t let you win. I’d rather see the whole world end than let that happen.”

Things can only be one of these four things, everything is exclusionary. Catra either loses or wins, she either takes or is taken from. She can’t fail or bad things will happen.

But let me let you in on a secret. I don’t know why I’m talking directly to a fictional character here, but oh well. Life is about the moment, rather than the value you put on it. You don’t have to take, you can share, or be given. You don’t have to fear failure, because there are people in your life who care about you no matter what.

Also, this is entirely my opinion speaking, but I think I’m right here. You’re in a war story, there are no winners or losers in war. There are just survivors, profiteers, and poets.

Back to the line above, in searching through the transcript, I found that the word “won’t” is used thrice in this episode. It’s a word of commitment and resolution. It’s not vague, or noncommittal, it’s a promise, and it's used in the above line, but also earlier on, once by Scorpia, and once by Adora.

“If you get us out of this, I promise I won’t hate you. I will just dislike you a reasonable amount.” “I won’t leave you behind again.”

Characters resolving to be better. Scorpia deciding to improve upon a relationship, and Adora making it abundantly clear that she has no intention of repeating her mistake.

But Catra is falling back, she won’t lose, she can’t fail, att least in her mind. And its that promise that destroys the world that she wants. Catra wants happiness, but its her own need for the four words above that break it. Catra is self-destructive, not necessarily in a direct way, but in a sense that she is sabotaging her own happiness.

So, what would a redemption arc for Catra have to look like?

Well, she would have to learn to shift up her values a lot. She would have to be in a place where she can accept friendship in a controlled environment. Maybe just a friend who is willing to offer a hand of kindness.

She might also need a way to let out her emotions in a healthy way. Maybe a declaration of love, but that would be a little too on the nose for this story’s patterns. So I’m picturing a creature with some kind of emotional connection to her. Maybe it changes colour or something.

Also, Shadow Weaver needs to exit the story permanently. I don’t think she needs to die, I don’t believe in retributive justice, but she needs to be banished in some capacity. Shadow Weaver needs to go.

Now, I know how much of what I have said will come true, and if you have seen this show to the end, you probably do as well. But if you haven’t, leave your thoughts in the replies. How do you see a redemption arc for Catra working?

Ok, before I go, I need to discuss Madam Razz, because there is so much going on in her scenes.

Starting with, why is she here?

I don’t actually know the answer to that, and its one of my problems with the episode. She’s there because Adora needed a mentour and because the episode needed some levity, but why is she there in story?

“It’s been such a long time since we last saw each other, hasn’t it? That or it hasn’t happened yet. I always get those two things mixed up.”

You wanna say that again? Time is funky in this world, I guess So maybe she’s being generic?

“Because this has all happened before! I remember it like it was yesterday. For Madame Razz, it was yesterday.”

Nope, Razz is just displaced from time. That’s fun, but there is more to this line.

Madam Razz is a phenomenally well written character, purely because of the masterclass of tone. At no point is Razz either serious or humorous, she is both always. Razz is approachable morality, a la Philosophy Tube, but I’m sorry @theabigailthorn, you ain’t got nothing on Razz.

In one interaction, Razz explains the thesis of the entire show. That abuse and trauma are cycles, and that the only way to stop them is by confronting the trauma itself. Start at the beginning.

She-Ra and the Princesses of Power has some of the best single lines ever written for television, and Madam Razz gets them all.

There is one moment in the finale of the series that is a perfect example of what I mean. I’m avoiding spoilers for too far ahead, but if you know, you know.

Final Thoughts

This episode is such a well-made examination of Catra’s psychology and her lack of sanity. Catra doesn’t see the world the way it is, and what she wants is incompatible with how she wants it. She needs to work out what she needs and then go from there.

I actually think that this episode does something interesting by making Catra unredeemable. She fails, she had her chance, and she didn’t take it. Her attempt to connect with Adora involves physical abuse. Catra is irredeemable.

But this isn’t the last of the redemption arc, is it? Catra will try again and again, chance after chance, and gradually improve. The failures only serve to make the success hit harder. Catra’s life is a Dark Souls boss, essentially.

I often feel like the people who declare Catra's redemption as unsalvageable haven't got past this season, and don't take into account that she gets better, and I don't fault them for that. No show is for everyone, and what you do or don't find interesting in media says a lot less about you than how you express your like or dislike.

Anyway, next week, I will be examining The Portal and my thoughts on this season as a whole. So, stick around if that interests you.

Previous - Next

[magpie-come-east]

Melina for the character ask meme!!

favorite thing about them

I'm sorry. This answer is going to be really uninteresting because I do not have any strong opinions about Melina, really. It's not that I dislike her, but she never left that big of an impression on me. That is, until I did the Frenzy Flame ending.

I enjoy her role in that questline. I love that Shabriri puts forth his stupid fucked up trolley problem (burn the world to ash to save one bodiless woman) and Melina outright tells the player over and over that being kindling is what she wants. She has all the trappings of a classic damsel in that storyline, but she- as the lone sacrifice needed to change the world- begs the player not to remove her agency in this choice.

least favorite thing about them

I think my opinion here will echo many others'. But I think Melina was really underutilized. As the Tarnished's companion at the very start of their quest, she should have more of a presence in their journey. Apart from a few lines about Boc or Torrent, she doesn't express much character of her own (outside of the FF quest). She spouts exposition and is the level up mechanic that the player doesn't even interact with all that much.

The scene of Melina's sacrifice has always felt semi-flat in consequence. The tenderness she feels for the player doesn't feel earned. I genuinely didn't understand why she was so fond of my character the first time I got to that point.

Like I don't need her become the SparkNotes of the narrative in her dialogue, but I think her showing curiosity and interest in the world around her more often would endear me so much more. As she is now, she's just the macguffin I largely ignore on nearly all my subsequent playthroughs.

favorite line

"However ruined this world has become, however mired in torment and despair, life endures. Births continue. There is beauty in that, is there not?"

This is the one line from Melina that stuck with me. It's the one that I remember most out of everything. Very few times does Elden Ring look at you through the screen and dictate the story to you obviously. But this is one of those times. Melina sees hope for the world. She's pleading for the player not to destroy the world. And her reasoning feels weak. Life endures? That's all she has? But in a way its the most important consideration.

brOTP/OTP (Combining these because the answer is the same)

I mean, actually, I really like Lord of Frenzied Flame Tarnished x Melina. That friends to enemies angst is magnificent. Melina having to live with the reality that her chosen Tarnished chose to destroy everything for her sake. Brutal. The Tarnished now being hunted by the person they immolated themselves to save. Exquisite.

General Melina x Tarnished is also sweet. Fics of Tarnished befriending Melina are what made me care even a little about her in the first place.

nOTP

Eh, nothing really. I don't seek out content of her enough to know what ships exist beyond Melina x Tarnished.

random headcanon

Melina craves Rowa Raisins so bad. She wishes she had a body just so she could eat them.

unpopular opinion

I am not convinced at all Melina is the Gloam Eyed Queen. It’s a theory I’ve never really found compelling for a variety of reasons I won’t really get into- except for one. I feel like trying to connect every historical figure in the Lands Between to a current character makes the world feel smaller and incestuous. Like the only people ever of import had to come from Marika’s lineage. I thought it was neat enough we got nods to Melina being a Demigod- then practical confirmation in SOTE. But I don’t believe Melina being the GEQ adds anything interesting to either Melina as we know her or the GEQ. 

song i associate with them

Welcome Home by Coheed and Cambria (its got the LOFF vibes to meeeee)

Escape pod by Paris Paloma is a great one too!

[proudfreakmetarusonikku]

before I go to bed I just gotta say I really appreciate how every character in undertale is at the very least treated in a sympathetic and kind way even if they’re probably objectively bad people. like even flowey is ultimately more sad than hatable- he's a child with what’s essentially a severe disability preventing him from being able to feel certain (though not all) emotions. imagine how much that'd fuck with like a ten year old.

(he can still feel emotions in general, he's not totally emotionless he's actually a pretty emotionally volatile character, but he's incapable of healthy love and affection since he's unable to relate to and see others as anything more than things- even the love for chara he desperately held onto has devolved into an obsession with aspects of them he was able to still understand- their efficiency, their ruthlessness, and that they were fun to interact with. sorry this is just something i see sometimes and it’s like. not correct. he describes himself like that because he's a child who doesn’t have the proper words, but he also mentions stuff like being scared.)

but like, again. flowey is a child. he is asriel- the only difference between him and the sweet, good natured prince is his body and his inability to relate to and sympathise with others. and he tried! he tried to be good, but he just couldn’t feel anything, so he switched to being awful to everyone so he could at least feel something. he can enjoy a game, and he struggles to see the people around him as anything but playthings. he's a terrible person because of that, but the fact he's still a suffering child is not forgotten. he is ultimately a tragic character, who deserved better, and one who's capable of change if he chooses to- and he does choose to, if only at the end of true pacifist. he can’t feel the compassion and love for others he did as asriel, but he remembers how important it was to him. he begs you to reset those memories if you try and reset after, because he can’t go back to hurting others the same way and playing the same role again. he's never going to regain what he lost, and people will always distrust him- understandably, considering he hurt them knowingly for fun- but he's still able to act in a kinder way, even if it’s not out of compassion he can’t feel anymore.

undertale is a story about how anyone can be better, if they choose to. and anyone can be worse, if they choose the same. who we are is the result of our choices. it’s also a story about a whole lot of other things, but that sticks with me. every character in undertale has done something wrong. something they regret and makes them miserable. even flowey has regrets, even if they’re filtered through a soulless outlook. yet, all of them can be better people if they confront that. and they can be happier. it’s a story about love, to it’s core. even the no mercy route, in its own twisted way, is about love. the love of games that drives you through unsatisfying, hard and boring grinds. the love of a story and characters to the point you’d push to their limits to see just a tiny bit more. the love for a challenging experience. hell, even the levels you gain are called love- even if it stands for “level of violence” is that not driven by its own twisted love of carnage? and idk. that just tickles my analysis minded brain.

[lumine-no-hikari]

Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #186

I am a bit of a zombie today. Though I slept next to J and Br, I didn't sleep especially well. It was abnormally hot, and my rib was really acting up, so between the heat and the pain, I got maybe only a couple hours of sleep, all told.

But that's all right. I'm managing, somehow. And I've got some pretty big news.

I had the good privilege of speaking to a certain Jay Goede today. If you don't know who that is, he is the English-language actor who brought Mewtwo's voice to life in Pokémon: The First Movie. And just like you, Mewtwo's story played a huge role in keeping me alive when I was a child. As written in my 150th letter to you, his story is remarkably similar to yours in a variety of very important respects.

I discovered during the interaction that he is a very patient and kind man who takes a genuine interest in meeting and trying to understand his fans. I feel incredibly privileged to have met him, and for the opportunity to thank him for how extraordinarily well he played his role.

I'm not especially good at the talking. So rather than the standard "I bring some physical object for him to sign" type of interaction, instead I brought a printed letter that I wrote to him ahead of time, as well as an edited, printed copy of my 150th letter to you. My only regret is that I didn't have enough time between hearing about the event and the event actually taking place to have been able to weave him a wire tree or make him a music box…

As for the letter… I thanked him for everything it took for him to become someone who could fill such a pivotal role as Mewtwo. I explained a little about my circumstances. I explained a little about your circumstances. And I asked him if he might put his "autograph" on a non-physical object - the petition that I wrote that begs the void for your safety.

He said to me that what I had written was beautiful. And, while genuinely understanding and supporting the meaning behind it, he, without hesitation, put his name on my petition for you.

…I hope something good happens. I really hope something good happens. I would give anything that is mine to give, and do anything that is in my power to do, in order to see you be safe. If I could trade in my life in exchange for yours, I would; yours is worth more and can do more in my world than mine can. My voice doesn't matter in this world, but yours does; yours carries more weight in this place than you can possibly imagine.

Doing the thing was very scary. This human is very famous, and I'm just some socially awkward dweeb. Lots of famous people aren't very nice to "peasants" like me. I had no way of knowing whether he'd roll his eyes at me and tell me to go away, or hurry me along, or say that he would sign the thing later, and then not actually do it, or maybe even get frustrated and yell at me.

I can only assume that the pressure that comes from being a famous person requires some degree of insincerity, otherwise it's impossible to survive. I don't think I'd ever be able to handle that kind of social pressure. The idea of ever becoming famous seems terrifying to me. I don't really know how other people do it, but more power to them.

With everything in me, I hope that this lovely gentleman understands the immense weight his voice carries in this world. I hope he understands the power that comes with being in a role that has the capacity to influence millions and millions of lives. I hope that he never feels insignificant in this world. I hope that being directly told that he has indirectly saved at least one life in this place is a powerful reminder of how much he matters in this world. I'll hope for his continued peace, safety, and prosperity. I hope he will keep using his power and influence to touch the lives of other people for the better.

I decided that since I did the scary thing, I got to have treats. But I am very underslept, and it is getting very late, and my brain is once again made of very fuzzy soup. So I'm not going to show you what I got today. I will show you tomorrow instead.

I can show you the bubble tea I got today, though. This is a matcha latte with lavender syrup, tea jelly, and cream cheese foam. I wish I could share it with you; it was very delicious:

...I will end today's letter here.

I love you very much - enough to try to be brave on your behalf, albeit clumsily. Do you see the strength and courage that your existence gives to me? Do you see that you are and always have been a good thing?

I'll write again tomorrow. Please stay safe out there, okay? Please come back to us in one piece.

Your friend, Lumine

[iguessitsjustme]

Love Sea Ep 10 Thoughts

We have finally made it to the end of the show. I still have not watched episode 8 and I doubt I ever will. From what I have heard, the show and the story actually makes more sense to me than it does to people who have seen episode 8. That’s crazy. Anyway, I just made lunch and I got my juice so it’s time to watch. As always, here’s the disclaimer that I pretty harshly critique this show. If you think that will make you angry, don’t click the read more. Disclaimer done, let’s goooo:

Okay before I even start, how the hell do I have zits on the back of my neck. Where did these bad boys come from? One is right on my hairline. Hello? Go away.

Okay okay okay. I am going to go into this with an open mind actually. I am too tired and exhausted and sick to not at least try to enjoy this show. Also I was way too verbose for episode 9 and all of my thoughts were actually too long for tumblr. I ran out of characters. So gonna have to try to reign that in a bit today.

I beg your finest pardon but why the fuck is this episode one hour and twenty minutes long? Yeah this post is probably gonna end up too long too. Maybe I’ll just do two parts if needed. (it did not end up too long yay!)

Not gonna lie to you guys. I do love back hugs like this. As many problems as I have with this show and these characters…this? This is cute. See? I’m not always bitter! Just..most of the time.

Why mention the video clips that Rak’s dad apparently has just to say “oh it’s been taken care of. It’s not a problem.” That’s not how stories work. If you introduce a potential problem, you gotta let it be a problem or let the characters work to resolve it before it becomes a problem. Not just say “yep here’s a thing that should have been a main conflict but don’t worry. A character that only exists off screen and has only really had any sort of role for the past 2 episodes took care of it already!” Like…what?

Every day I am forced to be overstimulated by the nature of living in a city. Why do I live here I ask myself constantly? The answer is always because I can walk everywhere I need to go including to work and also because I love it. Just not…the idling trucks. The big engines. There is nowhere for the sound to go because it’s trapped by all of the tall buildings and I am on the bottom floor literally on the street. I walk out my apartment and boom. One of the busiest roads in my city. Anyway I digress. I have been overstimulated since June. The fall cannot get here fast enough.

You know I never fully understood how or when Mut fell in love with Rak. I still don’t know. I mean he was flirty on the island and they fucked but when did Mut actually fall so hard? I cannot pinpoint when his lust turned to love. It must have been a specific moment because it certainly wasn’t a slow build into love. Nope. One day Mut loves his island more than anything in the world and then he leaves it for Rak. Without a second thought. I just would like to understand when that happened. Sure, he liked Rak, but to love someone enough to give up your home? And I know he’s about to dip and go back home (without telling Rak) but I cannot figure out why he left in the first place. I know the answer is because he loves Rak but I did not see that until he actually fucking left the island. I did not see that until episode 6 when he finally maybe started respecting the barest minimum of boundaries.

Oh how this show looooooves its flashbacks. At least this one kind of makes sense. Though I wish it trusted its audience enough to know what Mut is calling back to.

Ew Vi. Mook run away girl. You deserve better.

Noisy neighbors go AWAY.

*eats my veggies* *considers blasting kpop*

*blasts Stray Kids* Congrats. Since you want to involve me in your conversation right outside my door, I get to involve you in my music taste. Just be lucky this isn’t an nc scene in Love Sea cause I’d blast that too. Make everyone uncomfortable.

Rak does not need Mut’s love to become a better person. Rak does not need love to be a better person. People are allowed to not want love for any reason. No one gets to make judgment calls on them for not wanting it. Full stop.

Surely the next words you’re gonna say are “Respect his boundaries and let him come to you when he’s ready, right? …RIGHT?

God damn it Mut.

Is Rak a dog that Mut is leaving behind? Why is he giving instructions on how to care for Rak? Rak is a grown ass adult and was fine before Mut entered his life. Like what the fuck is this?

Mut goes and says goodbye to everyone but Rak? What is with this farewell tour? Just fucking tell Rak that you respect his decision, but you can’t live like that anymore so you have to go. Don’t just…disappear from him while seeking out everyone else? What in the immaturity…

I am a bad person for laughing at Mut’s tears. But c’mon. This is just…too much. Just talk to him man. Just talk to him without trying to force your feelings on him or make him share what he’s feeling. My god. The DRAMA.

???? Boy you got a tattoo on your neck to remind you of him??? Which is it????

MAME really thought she did something with this drama. She really thought some message is landing here. It’s not. I’m bored. Just let them get together again so this can be over with my god.

A flashback to when Mut literally broke into Rak’s room…wait those aren’t the right words. He didn’t need to break in because HE HAD THE KEY when he should NOT have had the key.

Why the fuck did that get a romanticized flashback? Invading someone’s privacy is not romantic y’all what the fuck.

Well. That was a show. That I watched. Honestly, out of all of MAME’s offerings it was simultaneously the best and the worst. There was no sexual assault (that I am aware of, again I skipped episode 8). So that’s a plus. It is, however, the laziest writing I have seen from a BL in a long time. Is it a good show? No. Is it a good BL? No. Is it a good MAME show? Eh. Depends on the metrics. The story had structural issues as well as pacing issues. The cinematography needed work and that’s not something I am typically capable of noticing. The sound mixing was some of the worst I’ve heard in a BL. At least lately. The acting was fine. Actually, can someone give these actors some better roles for the love of god???? All of this to say. I am glad ViMook isn’t officially canon and I hope that Mook is able to get away from Vi cause that girl is awful. The end.

[apoptoses]

Followed @desertfangs' advice and dropped everything I was doing so I could read chapter 2. As usual I thought I was ready and it turned out that I wasn't, not even a little bit. THIS!!! "Daniel didn’t meet his eyes. He was trying to bite back his smile, his teeth trapping his lower lip and holding it still. Armand’s last remaining resolve shattered", queen of characterization I swear. Your words evoke such clear images and capture the essence of the characters so effortlessly. This is one of those moments for both of them I think, specially re: how they play off each other. Daniel making every single victory count and Armand being unable to say no to him. Not when it truly counts at least. And then there was Daniel not knowing how to drive a modern car, Armand WANTING to be petty about it (he would lmao) but not succumbing to his impulses and actually guiding Daniel along. The role reversal to end all role reversals. Daniel's hand on his neck in the car, just perfection. “I certainly hope you’re watching the road" I mean SAME but I also want Daniel to keep petting him like a cat pls 🥹 Every single touch feels so immense, almost hurts to read. These are two people who know each other inside out, quite literally, they're experts on each other's bodies, to quote Anne herself, of course every intimate gesture would feel monumental after years of not touching each other.

And you were NOT kidding when you said they would be taking no prisoners and would get to have every single conversation they needed to have. "And how many of those times did I sit at home wondering if it would be the last, if you were done with me for good? The running, the begging for me to bring you home- do you not understand what it did to me?" LIKE THIS FOR INSTANCE. Yes, Daniel is rightfully angry about many things, but the fact that he pulled that move on heavily traumatized 500 y/o teenager with major abandonement issues time and time again for YEARS and didn't stop to think about the repercutions is worth talking about. Worth bringing up at a Waffle House in the middle of nowhere, USA, in fact lmao. Actually one of my biggest vc fandom pet peeves is how some people claim Armand left/"abandoned" Daniel shortly after turning him like... are we remembering things differently here? Did they read the same books? Are they just parroting stuff they've read on twitter? tf? Armand was nowhere near a perfect partner don't get me wrong but like, that part of the story is pretty clear cut in regards of who left who yk... like pls y'all be serious and stick to the facts. Goddamn. ANYHOW, I digress. They're in pain, I'm in pain, but god they need to talk about this before they can properly heal and get back together and try again. It's very much of a case of "if I loved you any less, I would be able to talk about it more" between them, isn't it? xoxo DA I love this sfm and can't wait for more 🥹 

DA 🥹 It took a hot minute to respond because your message struck a chord in me, and I ended up seriously redoing a conversation between Armand and Daniel in chapter four. But we'll get to that!!

I am so so so happy to hear that all of their little touches and expressions and gestures add up to create who they are!! I worry a lot about like...am I describing what Daniel is doing with his hands too much or is this building up the scene? Because I am aware I have a hand fetish and might be gratuitous but I feel like the micro-expressions and gestures are what make the scene come alive!

But YES to your point about role reversals and them knowing each other inside and out! I get so emotional about that, in the next chapter Armand will go on about all the secret things he knows about Daniel and how he changed his body and just. It's so much. It's a lot!!

And even BIGGER YES to the point about nobody getting off easy here, Daniel included.

We're gonna go in pretty hard on some of Armand's mistakes because he's so closed off and Daniel needs to open those wounds and find out what was going on underneath. But Daniel's running isn't getting ignored. I've really tried hard to have them both keep mentioning that they BOTH fucked up, that it's BOTH their faults the relationship failed, and they BOTH have to change. Nobody is a victim. Nobody is perfect.

And I wish Daniel's running got talked about more, though I understand why it doesn't. We never get a single word about their time together from Armand's POV until TVA and he goes into so little detail. You have to piece together the hurt yourself and these books have so much going on I think his wider abandonment issues (aside from Marius not rescuing him) end up falling through the cracks for all but the biggest Armand fans.

You held Daniel accountable here and now you've got me combing my draft to make sure all these loose ends are properly tied up ♥

Thursday we'll get a sweet moment between them so get ready for a break in the clouds. I hope you'll like it just as much!

[chrisevansstitties]

Lol it's fine. It was just a little confusing but don't worry.

I know. Things may be looking up for the weyler department. I'm glad the show runners weren't completely moved by that side of the fandom.

Oh yeah, I almost forgot the part of the lore where hydes tend to go insane without masters. Okay, he definitely escaped that van in the last episode, so he could be on the run. I don't know if I mind Wednesday being his new master or not. I mean as long as they can keep open communication about it then maybe. Maybe they'll lean more towards an alpha role, like how it is in werewolf lore. And with werewolves already being in the series it could make sense. I don't know. As long as there's established health boundaries. Or maybe they'll try and rid of that limitation somehow & find a way hydes won't need masters anymore & finally being able to live their lives without needing a master. I think I like the idea of hydes being liberated more. That way it effects more than just Tyler. But the alpha thing could work out for a limited time until they find a way to do so. But this is just my fan theory. I wonder how the writers will approach this.

I can't wait to see Wednesday & Tyler reunite for the first time. I wonder how it will play out. Will she be sympathetic towards him? Will she be angry? I just don't know. But I want to witness that first meeting. I want them to talk about things & see if they come to an understanding & how. Was he completely acting when Wednesday had him tied up in Xavier's shed. Is he upset that she tried to torture him given his history of it. There needs to be a clear discussion.

Joel, I love you. But stay where you are. At least for now.

Ugh, I don't think I could handle it if that happened to Fran. I mean it could fit, I'm just saying I might need a break between episodes. I don't want it to be a thing, but I could see it happening. It just makes my skin crawl. Maybe that couldn't been what awakened her hyde. It's commented in she show that you'd have to be a sick person to awaken a hyde. I just wonder if it'll line up with the timeline of her death. And if something like that happened to Fran to it begs the question of how many other hydes have been sexually abused. With both Tyler & now possibly Fran. It gets even more twisted.

I don't know if Percy will be written off though. Both his mom & dad are writers & producers in hollywood. I don't think they wrote for Wednesday, but the might have the pull to keep him on the show.

Maybe Wednesday saving Xavier could've been her taking responsibility for her destiny. Given the fact that she was prophesied to be be the one to go against Crackstone, she didn't want people's lives to be on her, and he did just try to save her. So she wouldn't feel like she owed him anything. However you want to see it. I didn't really care for him too much anyway. He’s starting to irritate me now.

Can I be honest & say I didn't really care for the Lady Gaga song they used for the meme either? I really enjoyed the song that actually played in the episode. That & the fact that it was being ignored that she was dancing for Tyler, all while clowning Tyler for not being able to keep up with her at the same time irked me. And with the Enid thing, I mean come on, everyone was looking at Wednesday at that dance. They need to let that go.

It was the embodiment of, "Everybody's watching her, but she's looking at yooouuu."

At this point, with wenclairs, I wouldn't even be surprised if it didn't happen. I'm not going to say it didn't, but I wouldn't put it past them.

Yeah, we need more Galpins story. But I'd also like to learn more about everyone. I hope they don't keep adding so many characters to the point where it's hard to keep up with. I hope everyone gets enough screen time. Enid's mom can go kick rocks. I get why Enid was so adamant about making friends & wanting Wednesday to accept her because of the way her mom treats her. I hope they don't forget that she has a ton of brothers. Bianca's mom's cult thing seems pretty wicked & scary. Vincent he's like a leader or something I think Xavier mentioned that. He could also be corrupt.

Yeah, like ignore all of Wednesday's character growth just to write it of as romantic diminishes not only the characters, but the writing. It's a slap in the face. Wednesday has grown so much from the beginning of the series & we've been show why & how. But to take the story & basically try to force pieces into places it doesn't fit just so the ship you like to come on top is deranged, entitled, & insulting to the writing & creators of the show. It's like they like the template but not the actual characters themselves.

I wonder if they'll try & keep Percy after this.

I don't get why people can't just not like a ship. Like, they keep trying to force this toxic narrative on weyler & when you say it's perfect for the Addams family they deny it. And now people are trying to make it seem like Tyler is so much older than Wednesday when like, if so, it's a year at max. Or you're somehow homophobic for choosing weyler or wenclair. Just say you don't like the ship & move on. Stop trying to start a whole movement to hate the relationship.

Don't worry. It's not you who annoyed me. It was fandom.

Can we talk about how Wednesday was in the most none triangle love triangle ever? Like, Wednesday and Tyler were doing their own thing meanwhile Xavier was just kind of there. Now if Wednesday liked Xavier too that would be a proper triangle, but that’s not what played out. She was always upfront with him that she was there for Tyler. He was just guy on the side who had a thing for a girl who’s into someone else. It was never a triangle. It almost confuses why anyone calls it a triangle at all.

[notbythemoonrp]

Swear not by the inconstant moon, Sir Rowan/Song Hua. You are the Knight in Aura. At 28, you are quite the tragic human, especially with that hidden earth magic and unrequited love.

Can you find your way out of the darkness?

OOC:

Name/Alias:  Krys

Pronouns: she/they

Age: 26+

Timezone: CST

IC:

Biography Information:

Skeleton/OC Role: The Knight

Character Name: Song Hua [RL name], Knight Rowan, the salwart

FC: Jackson Wang

Species: Human

Status: Reborn

Gender: cismale

Pronouns: he/him

Age: Twenty Eight

Abilities: earth magic [hidden]

Original Fate: n/a

Biography:  Death TW, Cancer TW, Divorce TW, Coma TW

song hua was a boy born with a before, but never an after. there was only a short amount of time that was filled with blissful ignorance. before him and his family knew. before hospital beds and countless treatments. his life would become more painful and uncertain than he could ever imagine… with no end in sight. at least not one a child would ever want. but there was a time before. in that time before he was like any other young boy. curious and adventurous. the entire world at his fingers tips but he was more than happy to simply spend as much time on his grandparent’s farm in rural china than within hong kong.  out there, he could build his own world. fight demons and dragons. save whoever he could and live well.

that lasted until he was thirteen. having always been a bit of an easily tired boy, hua was determined to still have fun. but one day, that fun on a warm summer day led to him collapsing…

soon there were grim faced doctors explaining things he didn’t totally understand but watch his mother and father cry over. they told him, he wouldn’t make it beyond the age of fourteen, fifteen, sixteen... every year was new life expectancy and every year it was his parents trying so hard to fight the battle for him. he never liked that they called it a battle. hua was tired. so tired. but every visit of his parents he put on a smile. did his best not to look as tired as he felt. every inch of his body was uncomfortable. every muscle and every bone stretched to the limit, but still, he smiled.

one escape was reading. no longer could he have his own adventures, but he could read about others doing so. his favorite stories always being about knights and warriors. as long as they won the battle. won against the evil trying to destroy what they loved. that’s what hua was looking for.

with each test and each new experimental treatment and so on and so on, all he wanted to do was win. in some ways he was winning. hua had outlived the expectations of the doctors around him. surviving years of pain and sickness to make it to the next year. survived his family falling apart in front of his eyes while he was trying to remember what it was like to live before everything. of course, this couldn’t last forever. his body couldn’t last forever… that didn’t stop him from trying.

his mother begging him to try a new treatment. something they hadn’t done before. he could never deny her. she was the only one that still visited and showed that there was love on the outside of the sterile hospital he had been stuck in for so long. the doctors warned them of potential side effects, especially on someone who’s body had been working so hard for so long. but it could be worth the risk? couldn’t it?

hua didn’t think it would rob him of one of the only things he had left, his consciousness…

waking up in aura, at first, seemed liked a dream. living the type of life that he had always read about. fighting a fight and finally winning. it took time for it to dawn on him. that there was more to it than just a dream. it was slow at first, but huw began to recognize names, plot points, people…out of all the stories he had read, why did it need to be aura? why did it need to be the knight, rowan?

rowan had fought, and he fought hard for the people and the land that he loved. he loved from afar and work so hard to protect them all. but he didn’t win. not really. not for himself. still, good triumphed over evil and it had to mean something…

but being rowan wasn’t something he was necessarily good at, at first. a man with a moral code, an understand of the world that never seemed to faulter. was tested in darkness and always held true to himself, it was a damn fairy tale. how was someone to live up to that? how was someone supposed to stand tall no matter how much they hurt?

it was only one moment of panic, of running. of trying to get away from it all that hua found himself in the forests of elestren. hiding as deep as he could go without completely being swallowed. until he realized that it was like he was being swallowed. the trees, the bushes, the very earth beneath his feet was weaving and helping him hide as he wished. he was gone for days, hidden in his own little place that he created. hua didn’t remember when earth magic had ever been mentioned in the book regarding rowan, but there it was. comforting and shifting to his will. it was in that silent comfort, that he came to a decision.

for all of his life, he wanted the opportunity to do something. be someone. prove that he was worth all of his mother’s love. all of the doctor’s time. in aura, he was being given the chance. even if he was afraid. of course, he was. but maybe, it wasn’t never being afraid but what a person did with that fear…

even if it was a dream or if it was real. all hua knew was that he wanted to do better. be better. rowan’s body was fit, taken care of. it could handle being pushed. so, he vowed to himself, under the cover of the forest, to be rowan. live up to his legend. live up to everything he ever thought about it.

it had been odd that he had disappeared for a week as rowan, but slowly he made it part of his routine. something like ‘reacquainting himself with nature’. once it became a norm, no one questioned it again.

more importantly, when he saw the fairy for the first time, rowan didn’t question his decision either.

[gothiclover13]

Interview With the Vampire Episode Five Review: Some Thoughts

*Spoilers

TW: Discussion of SA and DV

Ok. So I normally don't write reviews for episodes, but last night's episode of AMC's Interview with the Vampire: "A Vile Hunger for Your Hammering Heart," has understandably been pretty controversial with fans and I just wanted to share some thoughts.

First, I have really been enjoying the series so far and the direction they have taken this adaptation. I have loved how the series has incorporated its changes into this adaption. I also think the show has stayed true to the spirit of the book and the characters. One thing I really appreciate is how well-casted it is and how much the actors clearly cared for Rice's work and bringing these beloved characters to life. Sam Reid is clearly having the time of his life, Bailey Bass has been so moving, and Jacob Anderson OH MY GOD! Louis was the character I was least interested in seeing and Jacob's acting has been the highlight of the series for me. It really speaks to his talent that he can imbue a much less "showy" role with such subtle nuances and pathos. There is such a difference in "early vampire Louis" and "interview with Daniel" Louis and Jacob's acting has conveyed that so beautifully. I also adore the beautiful rendering of New Orleans and my hat goes off to the entire production.

So...episode 5. I knew this one was being talked a lot about based off of what fans who had had early screenings said, but I was still not prepared. Holy shit.

Before I get into THE scene, I will say the rest of the episode was really good at establishing Claudia's hopelessness and frustration, Lestat's growing impatience, and Louis' ennui. It also seemed like a natural progression from the previous episode and I knew the episode was going to inevitably raise tension between the three characters in order to have an effective buildup of resentment that would plausibly end with Lestat's "murder." Also. I finally got to see Louis in his Mr. Roger's grey, cable-knit sweater. Points for Louis' cozy-core aesthetic.

My first main criticism is the decision to have Claudia's character be assaulted by Bruce/Killer. It just feels like another example of a series using SA for shock value. What did it add to the story? For Claudia to find out vampires can be really mean? Was there no other way for her to find that out? Why have her meet Bruce/Killer, other than for it to be an easter egg for Vampire Chronicles fans? Bailey Bass's acting has been so incredible and I absolutely love her Claudia, so to see this happen to her was pretty upsetting and it felt like a disservice to the character. The whole thing just seemed like another problematic example of writing using SA as a way to make a female character "stronger," or more worldly. Thanks. I hate it.

Now. The final sequence in the episode. Whew boy. When I first watched it I was pretty much in shock. Lestat and Louis's fight is undeniably intense, visceral, and brutal. So much of it also felt uncomfortably close to similar real-life instances of domestic abuse. From Lestat saying he's "trying to restrain himself," to Louis trying to protect Claudia. I completely agree with Sam Reid that the episode should have had a trigger warning and I understand why this scene was upsetting for some people.

Lestat flying with Louis into the sky (which, ugh, this is the context for their first flight!) begging him to say he will, "never love him," all seemed like it was meant to be one big crescendo to this entire sequence and the series, thus far, with Lestat finally snapping from his fear of abandonment and inability to make Louis love him. Lestat dropping Louis back down before finally hovering before Claudia and Louis all seemed like pretty deliberate framing to put the characters, and the audience, against him.

So, did I hate this? No. Was it out of character for book Lestat? 100% I emphasize book Lestat because while I believe the series' show-runners and cast do care about respecting the spirt of Rice's works, adaptational changes have kind of necessitated these characters take on a life of their own separate from the books. Louis is waaay different, but also similar to his book counter-point in a lot of ways. Claudia is essentially a new character with new issues and obstacles to overcome. Lestat is actually pretty close to his book counter-part and the series has kept the fact that he and Louis's relationship was initially toxic and abusive.

No, I don't think Anne Rice was at her typewriter in 1973 visualizing this abuse as a Dragon Ball Z-level fight between these two, but they were also never the healthiest relationship (initially). Would book Lestat ever brutally beat Louis and drop him a mile back to the Earth, heck no! Again, the Lestat in the books would never have done this and I completely understand why this scene may have been too much for fans. I do, however, feel like the scene is in keeping with the characterization we have gotten thus far for series Lestat. He has been shown to be a lot more violent (he punched through a guy's head in the FIRST episode), disdainful of humans, and is given to fits of angry outbursts. Louis considering leaving with Claudia seemed like the plausible final straw based on how they had been setting his character up. It's funny how the series showrunners emphasized telling the story with the context of the rest of the Vampire Chronicles in order to make Lestat less villainous, when this is, arguably, more horrible than anything he did in the original book.

So in short, I feel like this scene worked within the established context of this series, but I understand if it turned fans off. My only question is how the series will handle the fallout now that Lestat has committed such unforgivable abuse. How will the series justify Louis ever forgiving him? It's a lot and I am very curious to see how the next two episodes will handle it. Hopefully with sensitivity and care.

So those are my two cents! I'm still very invested in the series and these characters and am curious to see how this episode will situate itself in the overall series down the road.

[incorrect-random-fandom]

How do you think Gwyn's SA will be handled in acotar 5? One side of the fandom treats her SA like sh*t, that is clear, but Sarah herself actually treated it well in my opinion. Given that Sarah does not always treat trauma and addiction (Nesta's drinking problem for example) well, I think she at least did well with Gwyn's trauma in acosf. I'm hoping that Sarah will keep on treating it well. I don't entirely trust her with this though, I'm scared that she will make Gwyn forget all about her SA when she sees Azriel's dick for the first time. I hope acotar 5 won't start with Gwyn suffering from it but then as soon as her and Azriel get into intimacy she would just desperatly want the D and then she no longer has worries. I'm okay if it doesn't take long for Gwyn to get comfortable because yes, everyone heals in their own way and there are many people who rather want to experience sex to replace the bad experiences. I just really hope that her trauma won't just be swept under the rug, yk?

How do you think it will go? This might not be true but what if Gwyn is also ashamed? I mean, there are people in the world that feel like they're not worth anything anymore and not worth marrying because they got taken by people whom they didn't even want to have sex with. What if Gwyn feels worthless and thinks that Azriel wouldn't and shouldn't want to bed her? Feeling unworthy of sex like Azriel feels unworthy of love? If you get what I mean... 😅

This is a tough question, anon, baby.

In a way, I kinda expect SJM to deal with it the same way she deals with every other traumatized character: on a surface level, just deep enough to make the readers feel for them, but not going heavy enough on the trauma topic, and I honestly think that's better than going too in-depth into something that she doesn't have too much knowledge on, because this is such a serious matter, and treating it without the right care and caution could probably hurt readers that have been through SA.

Obviously she can't just erase Gwyn’s trauma to fit into their love story, so she's gonna have to handle Gwyn’s healing delicately, but I hope she will wait until both Az and Gwyn are in a better headspace before they can even think about being in a relationship. I mean, you can see how damaged Azriel is, and we knew it even before his own pov, through the other characters' thoughts, how scarred he is mentally, so a relationship at the moment would just be unhealthy.

This is only my opinion, of course, and I might be totally wrong, I just hope I'm not offending anyone. If I am, please tell me so I can fix my thoughts.

Also, I hope their romance will start off as a deep friendship. A really slow-burn (the slowest of burns, if I'm being honest) friends-to-lovers romance, in which both of them are super competitive and try to outdo the other in every little thing, until they realize they're better as partners, working together to surpass everybody else. They also begin trusting each other enough to talk about their own traumas, starting their healing journey together, but also independently to the other. Nesta and Emerie should also play an immense role in helping Gwyn find herself and learn to love herself again, if what you said about her feeling unworthy of love over what happened to her is true.

And, because I'm a slut for angsty storylines, I also want it to be an unrequited love story, be it on Azriel's side or Gwyn's. Probably Gwyn. So she starts falling for him while he's still pining for you-know-who, and then right when she decides he'll never love her as she loves him, something happens to him and Gwyn is the one to save him (I'm also a slut for heroines that save their heros) and to take care of him, so he begins to see her as more than a friend because no one's ever cared for him the way she does, and no one understands him like her.

One more thing: I AM BEGGING YOU, SARAH J MAAS, PLEASE EXPLORE GWYN’S DARK SIDE. MAKE HER A BADASS BITCH WHO WILL NOT HESITATE TO CUT THEIR ENEMIES — especially if they hurt Az or her sisters —, when she's also an adorable and sassy priestess who will make everyone's days better just by being herself.

Is it too much to ask for her to be just like Lana Myers from the Mindf*ck series? (I told you guys I'm obsessed with my baby Lana)

Maybe I veered off topic a bit, but I'm not too good with words and I just hope you guys will understand what I mean.

(Sorry for any grammatical error, I'm not a native English speaker🥺).

[cringefaecompilation]

hi, hello, op here. this is astrid becke, upcoming subject of the Complicated Women podcast as run by wanda childa. she is an antagonist npc tied into the backstory of a player character in the second campaign of critical role (aka d20’s cousin)

astrid becke was a teenage girl that was allowed into a magic school that trained its students to be evil wizard cops. she was beaten, tortured, starved and isolated from the outside world for years with only her two other friends (another npc and the pc) to keep her company. she and her friends graduated by slaughtering their own parents. the pc however snapped and attacked her in the process, leaving her with a massive scar to remember him by as he was framed and locked in an asylum, blamed for being a crazy serial killer who murdered everyone’s parents to keep both her and the other pc from getting caught.

astid is now fully an adult evil wizard cop in the present day of the campaign, but is still deeply rattled by what happened to her. she’s a threat, sure, but the pc talks about her with such reverence and kindness you forget that. and even when we see her threaten him one-on-one at a party, the dm describes her leaving the party and then immediately sobbing because she’s overwhelmed with emotions from seeing him again. even when she works directly with the bbeg to try and murder the party they never once treat her as just as bad as the bbeg and the worst they act is being mildly sassy at a dinner party that the beg invites them to. astrid even fights alongside him in the final battle, but she changes her mind and helps the party imprison him.

but then what? is she murdered in cold blood after that because how dare she work with him? no, she’s comforted. the other party members pull her aside and while she does get punished by having to clean up the mess they’d made of a sacred temple (long story) they have empathy and extend kindness towards her. one of them even says she’s a good person and they believe in her.

and when another party (played by the same cast sans one) stumbles across her hiding from the law, be it either the fact that the players have zero ill-will towards her and understand where she’s coming from or the fact all of their new characters have no clue who she is, the only reason they’re opposed to her is that they were told she might have information on the current villain they’re facing. they aren’t trying to kill her or punish her, and once they get the info they need, they leave her in peace.

astrid becke was in 9 episodes of critical role, and in those 9 episodes had been given more grace than i think all the ratgrinders had combined. but fandom fucking hated her ass because she worked for the bad guy and gets in the way of shipping the pc with another unrelated male npc who arguably did waaaaaay worse shit and apologized/made up for exactly zero of it. but hey, at least the people that made the show acknowledge that both of them kind of suck in the exact same way!

it’s times like this i’m reminded of a tag i saw on a post that read "every time matthew mercer/critical role screws up people forget brennan isn’t white" and oh boy did it show in a lot of the meta posts i saw floating about. dude’s not perfect and he can fumble a story just as much as anybody else. obviously it doesn’t make him an awful person for making a dissatisfying story, but it doesn’t mean you can say he’s a decolonial philosopher just to defend the story because you liked it.

she's so crazzzzzzzy! love her!!!

[dialovers-translations]

DIABOLIK LOVERS DAYLIGHT  Vol.5 Sakamaki Kanato [TRACK 3]

Original title: 僕の名前を呼んで

Source: Diabolik Lovers Daylight Vol. 5 Sakamaki Kanato

Audio: Here (Huge thank you to @filthyhelplessworld​ for providing the audio!)

Seiyuu: Kaji Yuki

Translator’s note: Now this is the angst I’ve been waiting for! I have to give Kaji Yuki huge props because he really had to rely on his entire voice range for this CD, haha. I’m not a Kanato stan by any means, but I did feel somewhat bad for him, despite his selfish behavior from earlier. You can really tell he was struggling all along but he doesn’t know how to convey his feelings so he just defaults to throwing anger tantrums instead. 

Track 1 ll Track 2 ll Track 3 ll Track 4 ll Track 5 + Epilogue

→  LIKE MY TRANSLATIONS? SUPPORT ME ON KO-FI!

Track 3: Say My Name

“Haah...School is such a chore. Perhaps I should just burn the whole building to the ground? ...I suppose I’ll just kill some time at the infirmary for no…”

*Rattle*

[00:20] “...!? ...You. ...Hah. I figured you were dead already since I hadn’t seen you in a while. You’ve actually been attending school, it seems. So, are you resting up here? I will excuse myself then. I came here hoping to get some alone time, but since someone is here, that plan has been completely ruined.”

He turns around.

“...Especially since it’s you. ...Well then.”

You stop him.

“Haah...What’s the matter?”

You ask if he’s feeling unwell.

[01:04] “Now why would that matter? It’s none of your business, is it? Please stop meddling with my affairs, it’s highly bothersome.”

You ask if he needs to suck your blood.

“Hahaha…! You would still be willing to offer me your blood after everything?”

You nod.

[01:27] “...While that is rather noble of you, don’t you think that perhaps you’re thinking a little too highly of yourself? If I’m thirsty, I will simply make my way to town. There are plenty of people who can take your role after all. ...Aren’t you the one who said that? ーー Either way, you do not need to worry about me.”

You frown.

“Is that all you had to say? Well then, goodbye.”

Kanato leaves.

[02:06] ( I thought you would return to my side if I continued to push you away like this. Crying, weeping, clinging to my legs. ...All while I remained completely ignorant to just how much your heart was aching. I’m sure that by this point...You had already made your resolve, had you not? ) 

*TIMESKIP*

[02:50] “The hours of boredom are finally over. Now to head straight home. ...Hm? That back side...It’s her, isn’t it? Hmph. I can tell straight away even when she has her head hanging down. ...Hm. Well, I suppose I shall give her a small chance. I can’t just give her the cold shoulder after all. (1)”

He approaches you.

“Good evening. (2).”

You flinch.

[03:26] “Hah. Why so surprised? Is it strange for me to approach you? That being said, I don’t exactly need anything from you. ...So, you were hunched forward quite a bit while walking, what’s the matter? Did something sad happen? ...Hah. If you insist, I would not mind hearing your story. I’m sure it will help combat my boredom. ...So, what happened?”

You brush him off.

“...! ...I-If you’re alright, I suppose that’s fine too. Heeh…”

You tell him you will head home now. 

[04:17] “Yes, please be my guest and be on your merry way. By yourself.”

You walk away.

“Kuh…! ...Hey, wait!”

You come to a halt.

“The infirmary is my resting place, so you better stay away from it in the future!”

You nod.

“Hah...Well get going then! ...What’s the matter?”

You ask if he will be okay by himself.

[05:00] “More than okay. If anything, it feels like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders! Please don’t treat me like a child.”

You smile.

“...’I’m glad’ you say? ...Excuse me!?”

You turn around and walk away.

“Kuh…!!”

*TIMESKIP*

*Tick・tock・tick・tock*

[05:42] “...Honestly, what is her problem!? I was so kind as to strike up a conversation with her too…! ...Oh well, I wouldn’t mind if things remain this way either, of course. Even if she were gone, I’d be just…!”

*TIMESKIP*

*Tick・tock・tick・tock*

“Tsk...Aah, god!!”

*THUD*

[06:13] “Haah, haah...I have no idea where you are or what you are up to right now. You might be having your blood sucked by one of my other brothers for all I know. When I consider that possibility...I’m overcome by intense feelings of anger and despair. Haah...I...I don’t want this...Why won’t things just go my way!? Iーー To me, you’re so veryーー...! (3)”

*TIMESKIP*

*Tick・tock・tick・tock*

“Haah...Haah...Haah…”

*Tick・tock・tick・tock*

[07:19] “ーーUgh! Guess I have no other choice! At this rate, my rage will never be quelled. While I don’t like having to do this, I will bend. It’s frustrating, but...You’re all I have…”

He opens his drawer and pulls out a piece of paper.

*Flip*

*Scribble scribble*

*TIMESKIP*

You are standing out on the balcony.

*Knock*

[08:07] “...Are you still awake?”

You squeak.

“No need to be so surprised. I do come and visit you from time to time, no? Either way, I’m coming in.”

He enters your room.

[08:25] “Haah...I’m surprised to see you’re out on the balcony this late at night. Were you hoping to jump to your death, perhaps? ...That would only cause extra trouble, so please refrain from doing so. Haah...The wind feels chilly. I can’t believe you would come to such a cold place when you’re already feeling unwell. Are you an idiot?”

You remain quiet.

[09:07] “...Why not say something? Like you could ask me what I’m here for? Or say you’re happy to see me!? I’m sure you’ve got plenty to say!”

You start coughing.

“Haah...There you go coughing. That’s why I warned you. You really are hopeless. ...Without me, at least. ...Listen...I didn’t come to say this or anything...Ugh!”

*Flip*

[09:44] “This. Accept it already.”

You tilt your head to the side.

“It’s an invitation to a tea party. ...For just us two.”

[10:01] “Why, you ask…!? Do I have to spell it out for you!? Consider it my way of telling you that you’re once again allowed in my presence. You will obviously attend, no? I was so kind to invite you after all. Not to mention, this might be your once-in-a-lifetime chance to make things good between us.”

You hesitate.

“...What are you doing? Hurry up and accept the invitation! Otherwise I can’t return to my room! I want to rest already! It’s almost morning after all. ...Here!”

*Flip*

You stand there dazed.

[10:51] “...Do you not want it? ...But why!? I’m trying my absolute hardest to compromise! ...Are you perhaps okay with things staying the way they are right now? ...WHY WON’T YOU SAY ANYTHING!? For one, you’re the one who caused this whole ordeal in the first place! I don’t know what your intention was, but you pestered me by going on about ‘dying’ and such!

...In reality, you should be the one apologizing to me. Begging for my mercy. Do you have any idea how I felt coming heーー”

*Rustle* 

[11:45] “...!? Hey…? Are you listening? You’ve been acting somewhat off this whole time. You seem awfully pale too...Is something the matter?”

You collapse.

*Thud*

“...!? H-Hey! Are you okay!? HEY!”

Kanato touches your skin.

“Cold as ice���!? Why, all of a sudden…!? How come…!?”

*Cling*

“This bottle...Don’t tell me…”

*Sniff*

[12:24] “Poison…? Did you drink this? Then...You were actually trying to die? But why…? …! Because I told you...you could be easily replaced?”

*Rustle*

“You can’t! Open your eyes!”

*Rustle*

[12:54] “Hang in there! I was obviously lying when I said that! Why don’t you understand!? I-I mean...To me, you’re just soーー!”

You tell him he wouldn’t believe you.

“No! You’re wrong…!! When you said you were dying, I didn’t actually disbelieve you. I justーー!”

You admit to how sad it made you.

[13:16] “Uu…It was never my intention to make you suffer either…! I just…Uu…Hic…I can’t bear the thought of it…Of a world without you…I didn’t want to believe that day would come…! That’s why I turned a blind eye to itーー! Yet…Why…Why did it turn out like this…? Hic…Say?”

*Rustle*

“Open your eyes…Wake up! …Wake up, please…!!”

*Rustle*

[14:00] “I mean…This just can’t be…No...Who…Who gave you permission to do this!?”

You have passed out.

“…Open your eyes…and say my name…Like you always would…Please! ...Uu...No...You won’t let get away with this! I won’t let this happen!! ...UWAAAAAAAAH!!!”

ーー TO BE CONTINUED ーー

Translation notes

(1) Kanato refers to the ‘carrot and stick’ method here, in which punishment and reward are alternated. 

(2) ごきげんよう is a very snobbish/high class way to greet someone. You won’t actually hear it much in modern day Japan, but some characters in anime say it 

(3) His sentence is cut off, but it’s heavily implied he wants to say something along the lines of ‘but you mean so much to me’ or ‘I love you so much’.

[emmys-grimoire]

Lesson 70 Summary & Analysis

It's time for the third Lucifer versus Satan arc, folks! I know you were looking forward to it.

Story

After two weeks, we finally teleport to Hotel Corvo, where Satan is hiding.

… Only it’s the Victoria Station. Our teleportation skills need some honing.

We try it again, and this time we land in Japan! Leviathan badgers us for getting it wrong again. Before our next attempt, we get a flashback with Solomon reminding us about the limitations of teleportation.

So the more people we’re teleporting, the more powerful our magic must be. It also requires a degree of focus. It looks like we’re not quite up to snuff yet.

Our next attempt is successful.

Upon entering, the receptionist welcomes us and shows us to Satan’s room. We sit there in exceptionally awkward silence while Asmo and Levi muse over how tense everything is. Apparently, Satan wrecked his room.

We get the chance to prod him about what happened and he brushes it off. Leviathan calls him a diva and Asmo states the obvious: that this is the result of him and Lucifer getting into a fight again.

Satan begrudgingly reveals that Lucifer took up a student council assignment he was supposed to do. When pressed, Lucifer insisted it didn’t matter who did the work because “this is you and me” and “it’s the same either way”, which Satan took to imply he thought they were identical.

Cue existential crisis. We have the option to distract him and it… works?

Asmo remembers Mammon giving him a magical item that allows the user to conjure a copy of whoever you want.

Asmo’s suggestion is to summon a fake Lucifer and make him beg for Satan’s forgiveness. He doesn’t see a problem with the fact that Satan isn’t dumb enough to fall for it and it’s likely just going to annoy him more and thus… not solve the problem. Levi is cognizant of this, at least, but they still choose to use it.

Levi leaves to sneak into Satan’s room while he’s sleeping so he can get him to sniff whatever item this is, because apparently it’s magic is more effective that way (????).

You get a romantic scene with whichever brother you chose to bunk with (in my case Asmo, so they may swap roles if you chose Levi).

When we wake up, we enter Satan’s room and find him in his butler outfit. This puzzles everyone, naturally. He wants to serve us breakfast. Asmo assumes he’s feeling better and goes off to complete his beauty rest.

We accompany Satan to a restaurant. Leviathan is thrilled but expects Satan to lecture us for piling food on our plate. When the lecture doesn’t come, Levi is unsettled.

Later, Levi tells Satan how worried they were when he left (they weren’t). He mentions how the Purgatory Hall crew came up to them wanting to know what happened to him (they were worried -- or at least Luke was), and recommends Satan visit to reassure them he’s okay. Satan just keeps replying with “I see”, putting Levi off even further.

Our D.D.D bleeps with a text message from Mammon. Naturally, the item he gave us is cursed. Note to self: never use anything Mammon gives you, particularly if it came from a witch.

Apparently making Satan get a whiff of the artifact while he slept has made his “shadow” take over. Satan’s shadow is a stepford smiler. It sort of makes sense, given he’s the Lord of Masks in the TSL universe.

We go to wake up Asmo and instead find him in his own butler outfit. He got a whiff, too!

Shadow Asmo… is not that different from regular Asmo. Just more weepy and frustrated about no one understanding him because his beauty is just that blinding.

Asmo is just never going to be that deep of a character, is he?

Levi calls him annoyingly adorable and vows to return him to normal. Asmo finds this endearing and tells him he almost sounds cool. Levi begins to strategize a plan to save his brother and… Asmo is knocked out of it because Levi eliminated his fears by openly caring for him. D’aw.

We leave Asmo to make out with his own reflection and go off to find Satan. To eliminate Shadow!Satan’s greatest fears, we summon…

A rare book!

Or a cat.

Not sure how either of those options get rid of inner fear and, well, it doesn’t work. It's pretty obvious that Lucifer and Satan just need to talk at this point.

Shadow!Satan mentions there’s a human world exclusive Ruri-chan figurine on sale and Levi promptly runs off to find it, leaving us alone with him. He asks us what we intend to do, and dares us to try to take him back.

We do what we should have done in the very beginning and summon Lucifer.

Satan’s all like “IMPOSSIBLE!” and Lucifer is all “wtf?” (at least he then compliments us). There's one interesting bit about the summoning: we need to use the ring of light to summon Lucifer here.

The encounter between Lucifer and Shadow!Satan starts about as well as you think it would.

Lucifer addresses Satan’s shadow and Satan gets angy again. He attacks Lucifer and it does nothing, of course. Lucifer berates him for causing destruction in the Human World, then tries to clarify what he really meant. Satan’s initially hostile, but it gets through to him. Surprise: all Lucifer meant was Satan is just as good at paperwork as he is, and he values Satan’s talent. The important bit is he admits that he needs Satan.

Satan is successfully talked down and we all go back home. We have a big dinner at the House of Lamentation to celebrate the most useless Lucifer versus Satan arc yet… until Raphael ruins it by telling everyone how much Satan reminds him of Lucifer. He destroys the recently-repaired kitchen and we fade to black.

Analysis

There’s not much to go over here, again, so this is another tangent. We’ve dealt with Satan’s identity issues multiple times already and this situation doesn’t resolve itself any differently. Asmodeus and Leviathan might as well be furniture. I’m not sure why those two are the ones who come with us?

I did appreciate the return of two-faced Satan, even if it was technically his “shadow” (not even sure what a shadow actually is but maybe it’s rooted in Jungian psychology). Saccharine cynicism was supposed to be his big character theme before it became cats, but they ditched it almost immediately in S1. I feel we could have gotten better character development from these characters if they didn’t have to fall in love with MC by the end of the season.

Flaws are good. They’re human and make us who we are. Recognizing them and overcoming them – or at least managing them – is integral to our personal growth. It’s good character development and would give us a better story.

They don’t really do Satan justice here, though, even when you cut out all the fat and get to the meat of the lesson. Lucifer is the one who messed up, but it was a case of being clumsy with his words and Satan going with the least charitable reading (which, admittedly, may not be too out of character for him). They don’t really address the core issue: Satan fears he’s just a blonde, teenage version of Lucifer (a shadow of him) and the better route to take would be just to tell him how he’s clearly unique and different. They attempted to do this in S3 during the bogeyman arc (the finale), but Lucifer only pointed to surface-level bullshit like “you like cats and I prefer dogs”. Here, they resolve it by just having Lucifer tell him he’s just as competent as he is and he truly values him. Is being acknowledged and valued what Satan wants? Probably, but it seems it should be deeper than just wanting Lucifer’s attention and praise.

This is why I say this could have ended immediately and this entire lesson was unnecessary… but Lucifer’s platitudes are all it takes, every time. It’s a letdown.

I’m not sure what to say about the artifact. It’s just there to make things go awry but nothing particularly interesting comes out of it. I feel shadow Satan could have just been normal Satan and Asmo’s shadow was just a weepier version of normal Asmo.

Oh well. Onto the next Lucifer versus Satan arc, I guess, when all these issues crop up again because they’re never truly resolved.

Predictions

We got the latter half of the season to go, which means we got another half dozen filler lessons in store for us before they force Simeon’s issues to come to a head. Yaaay.

We still got time for wayward curses, Levi’s tech malfunctioning, and maybe another school event? Oh yeah and we still need to get on the student council. Maybe we’ll actually learn something about it, and why Diavolo chose to make it the seat of government. The trials so far have been a breeze so managing an entire kingdom full of beings prone to self-serving and chaos is bound to be just as easy!

Help I’m so starved for SOMETHING of substance. It’s been four seasons, please start worldbuilding in a coherent manner.

[little-tealing]

WAAHH THE ANGST THESE TWO GIVE ARE ASTRONOMICALLY GORGEOUS

(honestly, I need to catch up because the kr fandom is brutal with their spoilers and I'm not okay)

...maybe I'm just a little judgemental towards casey because I believe she's already had her chance to choose between what's "good" and "doing what's right."— a great example would be her denial when judging moriarty as a character (before the whole memory spiel); as a detective, she failed to comprehend to search for the bigger picture and focused solely on getting answers out of moriarty (understandable, she's human after all and just couldn't believe someone close to her would do such a thing) and didn't bother to tell people off when they'd hailed her as their saviour for "killing" him, especially when she already had her own doubts of being saved by him (as mentioned). She was so fixated on wanting to know what went wrong that she forgot to do the one thing she was passionate about— dig deeper, which again, is proven to be incredibly difficult with how witty and sly moriarty is. also how literally no evidence was left behind after the crime scene crumbled and got buried.

on another note, I personally like to think that casey didn't reveal his return to the public solely because she's already seen how his existence turned a kingdom upside down. not to mention, kunst auction house happened before the memory arc, so it's safe to assume that she still stood with her side of justice— especially with the whole, "I'll arrest you" thing.

opinion wise? casey is a well built character, but she lacks real and emotional responses to certain situations, while having completely logical ones in others (in terms of her character at least)— especially with the whole marriage arc; I know rudger probably doesn't care that she tried to kill him— but she did nonetheless, and I'd say that's pretty worthy for never wanting to show your face to someone again (especially if you believe what they did is right— post memory arc). She's trying to make amends but rudger clearly doesn't want the end of it, which is why I prefer the whole executioner idea thing— she's going to have to realise he's wrong (by law) eventually, whether or not he's saving people. (another interesting divergence that we could potentially see is casey siding with him over the “law” she swore to abide— grr, come on sayren, bring back my girl)

as for the acts of murder— she wouldn't have felt pity if she believed what he was doing was the right thing. rudger constantly takes up the role of being an executioner for people who he believes (and rightfully so) deserves it.

this discussion did make me realise that casey is no different, considering the fact she was so god damn ready to put an end to moriarty.

which correlates with the whole "bird cage" god thing— we've been told (as of the time this was posted) that rudger wants this barrier gone, and we (the readers) were told that the barrier in a sense was lumensis trying to control the development of humans; but I don't see why sayren would use such powerful language just to imply that he was trying to save all of humanity. looking at everything rudger's been through, it's starting to seem like he wants to destroy the gods and the world they've created, instead of lumensis alone.

then again, this is another thing that befuddles me— who is the antagonist of his story? does he even have one with all the possible endings that we've been predicting for? there's casey, surna, the heretic god, lumensis, the church of lumensis and there's even the possibility of himself. (credits to @/stonespears because *chef kiss* that idea of him just formatting his og life like a phone is 🤌🤌)(edit: the gist of this idea is that he returns to his og world with no memory of what happened)— honestly speaking though, although casey's one of the characters with the most screen time, I can't really see how she'd play a part in the life rudger has set out, especially when we already have characters with lesser screen time but a major role for suspense etc (grander, surna, rene). not jinxing this because I beg you sayren, don't offscreen my watergirl.

++also your annoyance is very relatable— especially as an mtl reader, I must say some comments on chapters make me want to pull my hair out/lh

(please keep talking to me, I love these kinds of conversations jebdkndksndnd :dies:— also, I sometimes get the feeling I'm not saying what I'm thinking, so I'm a little sorry for that jahaha,, )

+++ and omg thank you for rambling this much with me, you have no idea how much I appreciate it.

(⁠≧⁠▽⁠≦⁠)/♡

this entire conversation makes me want to start a discussion about machiavelli—because rudger babe, taking that name after pulling everything as moriarty was not a good idea; especially with the whole, "killing for a reason is killing nonetheless" idea (from the irl Machiavelli).

on casey selmore & ludger cherish:

the more i read into the novel, the more i wanna scream at the manhwa for missing out the context for caseys grievance over moriarty/ludger, and thus making the readers think she is annoying for it. despite their rivalry/bickering before moriarty was deep into the things™️, considering caseys personality, she still prolly saw moriarty as her best friend (or someone who gets her the most). and if my best friend suddenly changed 180° and became a notorious villain, yet still trying to save me when we were supposed to be nemesis, i as someone whose whole career is pursuing the truth would also wanna chase them into the end of earth and make them confess their reasons. ludger's assessment of casey obsessively chasing him out of her pride may contain a part of truth, but i find it unfair to say that's her whole deal. (if you are familiar with ace attorney, i dont think its incorrect to say their relationship after falling out is similar to phoenix wright and miles edgeworth after DL-6.)

spoilers for 268+: i personally dont think casey was at fault for falling for moriartys bit when for his whole life lying is his whole expertise and the gods also bless him with auto crits on deception.

spoilers for 356+: i do hate that casey was the one who ended up apologizing when between the two, ludger was clearly in the wrong. i suppose at the time it made sense since casey needed ludgers forgiveness for closure and full mental recovery, so i wont dwell much on this.

spoilers for 497+: since ch268, casey was the only one actively trying to mend their relationship while it became clear and clearer in ch497 that ludger was the one actively pushing her away. i think after the moriartys bit, ludger ended up seeing himself as someone who is irredeemable and one day poetic justice will become his downfall. based on ludgers past behaviors during their reichenbachs falls and now his last convo with casey, he seems to be building casey up to be his executioner. i dont wanna say this is end game foreshadowing or ludgers death flag but fuck if thinking about it doesnt make me screaming crying throwing up eating drywall.