#been chipping away at this since day 2 of the server it just kept going and going..

[alienssstufff]

ETHO - BDUBS - GEM Designs for Season 10!

They be pirates :]

Every new smp/series I come across- i like to assign an overarching theme to it and this hc season is no different:

The mainland of Season 10 is riddled with pirates and cowboys. Each hermit is wanted of some charge, for one reason or another. As initiation, losing a life will remove that bounty and that hermit can start fresh. But becoming the last survivor, that hermit will be gifted the Treasure of the Island (whatever the reward Grian says it is ���)

[mcufox123]

Table 5

Summary: You are a 5-star chef. What happens when two avengers enter your restaurant. 

WandaxFemReader

AN: this is going to bea multichapter series. 

Warning: Slow burn 

I do not own any of the marvel characters.

Chapter 2. Chapter 3 Chapter4 Chapter5 Chapter6

Hiss. You heard as you dropped a piece of halibut into the frying pan. You had ten order fires for your famous white fish dish. You sauteed the veggies and spinach that went along with the dish. It was hot in the kitchen, but you kept your head down and just kept working. It was a busy Saturday night at the 5-star restaurant you worked at. the kitchen was on the floor so all its patrons could see you hard at work.

You loved your job. You threw everything you had into the prep work during the day and the excitement of 10 order fires at a time at night. You laid the plates out and set them up so all you had to do was place the fish on top. Your eyes never left your station to look at the patrons. With your rough hands that had suffered many burns and scars, you placed a dish on the table to be taken out when you looked up momentarily and was completely caught off guard.

You looked up to see one of the most beautiful women you had ever laid eyes on. Her reddish hair fell perfectly around her face which held the most beautiful emerald eyes. You watched as a tall man pulled out the chair for her as she went to sit down. Your trance was cut off by Bill asking if the dish was ready to be taken out. You nodded as you wiped your hands on your towel.

“Bill keep me updated on what table 5 orders.” You said giving him a stern look at turning to finish the other 9 halibuts on the stove. Every time you put another plate on the table your eyes went to her.

“You know we have two avengers in here tonight?” Bill asked as up put up another fish.

“We do?” you asked interest peaked, thoughts drifting from table 5 for a moment.

“Yeah, Vision and the Scarlett witch. Vision told the hostess that he was going to propose here tonight. They’re over at table 5.” You looked over and your stomach dropped. The women who you had stolen glances of was about to be engaged, not to mention she was one of the most powerful beings in the world.

You covered up your disappointment as you told Bill to keep you posted on their order. Ten minutes later he informed you that they ordered a fish and a steak.

“I’m going to run their platters; you keep an eye on the fish when I do.” You informed Gerry who was working at the station next to you. You plated the fish and waited for the steak. When both were ready you wiped your hands, brushed down your hair and made sure you looked somewhat presentable.

You grabbed the platters and made your way across the restaurant. The servers were eyeing you suspiciously. You never leave your station; the governor even came to dine at your restaurant and requested to see you and you turned him down choosing to continue to cook. The only other time you left your station was when your mom was in town and decided to eat at your restaurant. You set the meat in front of Vision eyeing him up. He looked like an alright guy. Then you turned and put the fish in front of the Scarlett Witch.

“I am Chef Y/N, welcome to Contento. I hope you enjoy your food and if you need anything I will be working right over there.” You said talking mostly to the women glancing at the man occasionally.

“Thank you, Chef Y/N.,” Vision said trying to get your eyes off his girlfriend. The beautiful women just kept smiling at you.

“Enjoy!” you said while backing away from the table. You made your way over to your station picking up where you left off with the fish you were cooking. You glanced up at table 5 when you put another dish up.

Vision was on one knee and the Scarlett Witch had her hand to her mouth. You could see him talking and you could see tears form in her eyes. You became extremely uncomfortable at that moment and seemed to hold your breath.

Vision stopped talking and you could see the woman shake her head no as he got up off the ground. Then an argument between the two seemed to start. Vision held his hand up before walking out of the restaurant as the woman sat back in her seat with her head in her hands.

She sat there for the rest of the night. She ordered the chocolate cake and a bottle of wine. All night while you were working you continued to glance at table 5 to see if she was there. Usually, you would tell the servers to kick people like that out but when your most trusted server asked if you wanted her out you shook your head no. You finished up for the night and cleaned up your station. Instead of doing your normal prep for the next day you decided to pour yourself a glass of wine. You watched as the woman continued to sit at table 5.

“Should I tell her to leave or just start wrapping up the night?” Bill asked you.

“Just start wrapping up, I’ll take care of her.” You assured him. You stood behind your station continuing to drink your glass of wine trying to figure out the woman who sat in your restaurant. The servers and staff finished up for the night and one by one waved at you as they left through the back door. You waved back and finally decided to make your way to table 5.

“You have officially been the customer to stay the longest at my restaurant.” You say walking over to table 5 with the bottle of your best wine and wine glass in hand. You take a seat across from her

“Oh, I am so sorry! I didn’t even realize. Wow where did everyone go?” she said looking around the restaurant now realizing it was empty.

“The restaurant officially closed an hour and a half ago and my staff just left about 10 minutes ago.” You informed her.

“Oh my gosh its midnight.” She said now finally looking at her phone then at the dishes on her table. “And I left a mess, I can clean this up just let me know where it goes.” She said while stacking glasses and trying to brush up the crumbs. You put your hands on tops of hers to stop her and feel warmth spread throughout your body. Your eyes meet and you gave her a little smile.

“It’s totally ok just leave it. You are more than welcome to stay; I saw what happened tonight. I just wanted to let you know that I will be over there cooking.” You said as you picked up your wine glass leaving the bottle behind.

“Would you mind if I came over there and watched?” she asked hesitantly. You glanced back and saw hopeful eyes.

“Not at all Scarlett Witch.” You saw her flinch at the name.

“Please, call me Wanda. Scarlett Witch is just for the media really.” You smile and nod. You pulled up a barstool where Bill usually stands on the other side of the station, while you grab some veggies to cut. You had decided to make your own dinner tonight instead of eating a bag of chips.

“What are you making?” she asks as she sits on the stool and watches you curiously.

“I’m not sure yet, but whatever it is it’ll be my dinner.” You said honestly.

“Come here.” She instructed you and you don’t know why but you listened. You made your way around the station and saw her stand up from her seat and pointed for you to sit. “You have been working all night, you let me stay way past close, and you gave me a $500 bottle of wine to drink. Get off your feet drink some wine and let me cook.” She informed as she made her way around to where you had been just seconds before.

“Thank you, not many people are willing to tell a head chef to chill.” You said to her. You watched her as she pulled her hair back and began to expertly cut the vegetables. “And you know your way with a knife, remind me not to cross you.” You chuckled.

“Well, I like to cook myself. I try to cook something new whenever I can. I started cooking when I was young with my family in Sokovia.” She said as her cutting slowed obviously lost in a memory.

“I can relate to that; I grew up in an Italian family. I started when I was old enough to hold a knife.” You said adding to the conversation.

The conversation continued to flow as she began to throw them in a sauce pan. She searched your station for her next ingredients. Usually no one was allowed to go through your station, but you were curious to see what she was making.

“So, I know it is absolutely none of my business but are you ok?” you asked full of concern. You saw her freeze her search on a momentary pause before she continued to look pretending as if she didn’t hear you. You decided to keep talking.

“I was almost engaged once. I have been in this industry since I was 15. I have thrown everything I have into becoming the best. Two years ago, I started dating this girl. We dated for a year even moved in together. She tried to rush everything, like she was trying to prove something to herself. So, when she proposed I had to decline. Instead, I moved out and opened this restaurant. Hurting people is hard but sometimes it’s for the best.” You said trying your best to comfort her.

She seemed very concentrated on the chicken she was now expertly filleting. “We weren’t in love love. He’s my best friend and we do everything together, but I was never attracted to him. When he asked me out, I said yes and now it’s been two years. All because I was scared, I would lose him if I didn’t. Now I ruined everything.” She said turning from you to put the chicken in the pan.

It was quiet for a minute before you heard a sniffle. She turned around wiping her eyes and trying to pull it together.

“I’m sorry I didn’t mean to unload all of this after crashing your night. I should probably just leave you be.” She said while wiping her hands on the towel and turning to leave your station.

“Hey its ok, you’re ok. I enjoy your company.” You said while reaching out for her hand. She turned and looked at you curiously.

“Why are you being so nice to me?” she said looking in your eyes for any trace of insincerity.

“I, I, I don’t know, but I feel like, like you can be good to me. That maybe you’re the one who can teach me something. What that is I have no idea, but I want to know.  And I want to do the same for you.” You said knowing that you probably sound like a mad idiot to this strange woman who you have only known for an hour.

She continued searching your face. “Your strange and bold. I like that.” She said while squeezing her hand before going back behind your station.

You sat back down and continued to watch the woman who piqued your interest continue to cook.

[battery-forgot]

Now, I come mid-week to give you all of my DSMP/MCYT headcanons because I have many

Don’t mind if these are repeated, misspelt, or has no logic, it is block game things and I am not checking over them-- and some will be organized, and some will be random, some might not have a Enter space because these are all ctrl c + ctrl v’ed from a Discord server I am in :]

Skeppy headcanons: Skeppy is 4 billion years old as scientists have thought that is how long ores and diamonds existed for

Skeppy's species is pretty rare

Every diamond that is broken or damaged causes Skeppy to feel a physical pain in his body

His species has lamp tail as they don't have night vision, some of them also have tiny wings that aren't usable, though they can kinda glide short distances with them

Because of his small height, he has taught himself magic to be able to change size, it can hurt him if he goes taller than 5'3, but he is able to get to Foolish's height if he tried

Sometimes random crystals grow on Skeppy's face, though they look different from normal crystals and can be used for things like explosives, though he doesn't know about it

Techno has seen Kristen but doesn't remember it well, though Kristen gave him his crown as a gift

Techno has a collection of skull masks that he has worn, he wears the skulls because of nostalgia now but he used to wear them because he thought they were cool and made him look threatening

Technoblade, Skeppy, Sam, Ranboo, Michael(the son- not Michaelmcchill), Phil, Bad, and some others really like shiny and golden objects

DreamSMP theme/"timeline" is kind of like a steampunk like thing

Drista is DreamXD's sister and DristaXD is Dream's "sister", though they aren't really siblings as they are robots

Drista and DreamXD are clones of DristaXD and Dream, though they actually look nothing alike

Callahan is a mute mini-god that everyone knows exists but doesn't really understand they are a mini-god. They kind of just chill and do what people ask them to do

Phil: Phil is more into traveling than anything else

Though he doesn't mind being a father figure, he doesn't think he is a good one especially after he killed Wilbur

He is able to turn into the size of a crow, though since his wings are now unusable, he doesn't do it as often as it is basically useless

Phil sometimes takes bird baths, though I guess they are always called that-

He has bird legs/talons,but they aren’t fully noticeable

joke headcanon I thought of is that Phil's handwriting is chicken-scratch because he is half-crow

Phil has really good memory, as a crow would

-DreamXD is actually pretty weak in powers, but he acts like he is the strongest person in the server

-Tommy's eye is just completely gone from when Dream killed him, but he covers it with an eyepatch

-Tubbo talks about things to Ranboo thinking he'll forget them, but some stories Ranboo remembers but doesn't speak about it because he doesn't want to make Tubbo worry too much

-Philza wasn't willing to kill Wilbur so Wilbur forced Phil by grabbing his arm and impaling himself

-Dream and Techno sometimes share stories about having ADHD

-Phil didn't really know about Fundy, he knew he existed but had no idea to how he acted, looked, or his actual name

-Wilbur had a letter written to Fundy about how he was sorry for what he was gonna do during November 16th, but the withers blew it up before Fundy knew about it

-Fundy doesn't let anyone hold his hand because it makes him remember the past where he would hold Wilbur's hand a lot

-Change of headcanons: Schlatt and Puffy are cousins, Tubbo was just a random kid that would follow Schlatt for hours a day, waiting for him to acknowledge him

-Dream jumps into the lava in the prison as it reminds him of Sapnap

-Bad was uncomfortable when Sapnap married Big Q and Karl because he went on a date with Quackity before but he still supported them (Yes I know Big Q basically had a divorce with Sap and Karl--)

-Skeppy knows a lot about other's pasts because of how old he is, even traumatizing facts

-Skeppy has a fear of fire (Pyrophobia) and he is kind of scared of Sapnap

-Dream used the revivebook on the cat Tommy killed, but Sam killed it thinking Dream would use the cat against Sam to escape quicker in the future

-Dream doesn't *fully* know why he is in prison, ever since Tommy and Tubbo killed him, a wire/chip broke in his body which made him forget a lot of things. Dream does get told what he had done a lot, but it makes him almost have a panic attack because he thought he was a pretty good person

-Ghostbur is Callahan, they were commanded by DreamXD to become Ghostbur so that everyone could feel like he was still there (Callahan can change who they are completely, but they don't actually know how they acted when as Ghostbur, though that doesn't mean he didn't know what happened, when Dream killed/revived Ghostbur, Callahan got to see what it felt like to die for the first time)

-Fundy has the habit of picking up things and using them at some sort of fidget (examples: knives, leaves, grass, wood, pencils, berry stems, etc.

-Ranboo will be writing/saying something about someone and use pronouns instead of their name or just with the person's name (example: "Puffy she/her was--" or "he/him writing down things") [Basically canon-]

-Tubbo used to headbutt people but stopped after around 2 years because he kept hurting people

-Phil used to squawk randomly when he was a kid, but he mainly just squawks when hiccuping now

-Even though Bad used to get really nervous picking people up because he was afraid he was gonna drop and kill them, he now just picks up everyone randomly... except Foolish and Ranboo

-Foolish is able to shrink to around 7ft, and unless he is building a big build, he will shrink so he can get around easier

-Because Ranboo is only half enderman, he isn't the full height of an enderman (He is only 8'5)

-If someone asks Charlie about his pronouns, out of confusion, he just responds with "Bones!" which sometimes leads Las Nevadas members (or just anyone really) calling him by He/it/Bones

-When Bad was being controlled by the egg, it made him get even more flashbacks about how his species was supposed to act which would end up with him panicking because that isn't who he wants to be (bonus: The more a member infected by the egg would panic, the more the egg would be able to take over the person because they can't focus)

-Kristin has taught Phil how to do makeup in their free-time of hanging out

-Kristin is insanely tall, if she shrinks then she turns more transparent, so she ends up looking more like a ghost when at average height

-Skeppy can't cry, though he still can feel sad

-Bad and Eret talk to eachother quite a lot

-When Tubbo was around 11-14, he would make redstone contraptions, though he doesn't remember how to make most of them now

Ranboo doesn't like photoshoots because he feels like everyone is staring at him, though this does mean he just doesn't have a passport photo, his alternative was to draw what he looked like on the passport but they didn't allow it, as well as Ranboo doesn't really remember what he looks like anyway because they don't like looking in mirrors--

I think this is half-canon but another headcanon is where every SMP is just an island far away from others. In this case, Hermitcraft, 30 day SMP, and other SMPs are all linked up, as for people who are in multiple SMPs, they travel around by boat for awhile, now, the thing I've just not figured out is how tf their look magically changes-like- outfit is decently obvious-- but do they magically transform like an anime girl? Idk- 

Skeppy's voice randomly glitches out, is there an actual reason for this? No.

Quackity’s outfit is similar to Sub Urban’s (In Freak)

Skeppy acts as if he is royalty, he doesn't act rude or demanding unless joking- but he does act as if he is the superior person-

-Skeppy and Slime are the only "people" that don't have steampunk styled clothing because of how old they are

-Skeppy's hair grows insanely quickly and no one knows why, he honestly hates it

-Most of Skeppy's outfits have been made by Bad or Puffy

-Skeppy knows DreamXD as if he is a brother, but he despises him because of something that has happened around 3,000 years ago

-Skeppy has a lot of different shades in their hair on the "inside"(like- the side where his neck is is what I mean, I don't remember if it has a name or not-)

-Like I've said before, Skeppy's eyes are crystallized, but they are somewhat transparent, not enough to where you'd be able to see the inside of his head, but they are still transparent

-In the past, Skeppy didn't like their name which is why they called himself "Skeppy"

-He has an attachment to caves

-When Skeppy was a kid, they had the dream of him filling cave walls with houses of their own

-Skeppy goes by it/they/he

-Skeppy joke flirts with Bad all the time to confuse everyone, Bad doesn't like it because then everyone thinks they are dating which makes him feel a little uncomfortable

-Out of boredom, in the past, Skeppy would climb on the roofs of caves, hang upside down, and try and sleep like a bat

-They have no blood in his body, it is literally just a diamond covered with a thin layer of skin and hair

-Skeppy gets stressed out easily when it comes to learning because it just reminds him of everything he had to get used to as the billion of years he lived went by

-Skeppy used to not be allowed out into the open world, the first time it experienced going outside was when it was 2 billion years old

-Skeppy has accidentally caught things on fire during the day because of the reflecting of the sun, but even then, they are nocturnal so they don't really have to worry about it

-Wilbur adapted to hanging out with Sally in the water, he has some gills, but he can only breathe underwater for a bit longer with them

-Skeppy always has the equivalent of Diamond (armor) except when he was infected by the egg, he was equivalent to the strength of a Ruby

-Infected Skeppy has a redstone glow when touched, so when hugged(or hive fived- or- yeah you get the point), he would give a subtle glow around him until let go

-The Eggpire still can be controlled, but they are able to control it unless angered/upset

-Skeppy was 6ft when infected, now he is 3′9 un-infected

-At this point, Dream likes the prison because he sometimes feels safe there, like no one can hurt him

-DristaXD is more of a ghost robot than an actual robot

-DristaXD's hobby is murdering people and has basically been in some sort of jail before, she has broken chains around their ankles and hands, it seems to have been made of a really strong material as wel

-Sapnap used to have fire wings, but when he had to get extinguished, they disappeared, they are still there, they just aren't visible until dunked in lava and Sapnap can't use them anymore

-Infected Bad still took care of Sapnap, but Sapnap never cared

-Sapnap takes the name "lava cake" too seriously... though he thinks the literal lava cakes he makes taste good

-Puffy's hair has been dyed blue by Ghostbur before because he wanted people to remember Friend if they ever disappeared

-Going with my Ghostbur as Callahan hc, when Ghostbur was killed, Callahan kind of glitched between realities and so Ghostburs body glitched from Callahan's body and Ghostbur's then just disappeared. Callahan is still alive but they randomly glitch into different realities, he has glitched into places Karl has gone, including The Inbetween.

-When Ghostbur was glitching back into Callahan after killed, it shocked and concerned Dream

There you go :]

[almondmilks-posts]

C!schlatt- executed

I got lots of DMs asking for more angst so here

* You and schlatt get into an argument about him being president and executing tubbo ect, in a drunken rage he stabs you.

*Woah this is the longest thing I've ever written.

It all started when Fundy tipped you off about schlatts plans of executing tubbo for helping Wilbur and Tommy out,which you knew about ofc. You treated tubbo like one of your own and even sometimes helped him sneak out the Whitehouse without schlatt knowing; but killing tubbo over that broke you. You had to say something to hopefully put a stop to your husband's madness and his drinking. God did you hate how much he drunk, it drove you nuts.

You- he's just a boy. (Get the reference...)

Schlatt- I. Don't.give a fuck. He's. Traitor

You- do you blame him schlatt? Him and Tommy are close brothers even he probably felt terrible about what happend you know when you-

Schlatt- oh well should of thought I'd that before helping that that CHILD. HE'S MY RIGHT HAND MAN HE HAD ALL THE POWER AMD NOW and now he's going to pay the price and it's an expensive price to pay.

You walked over to the window and stood looking out into manburg. Just thinking about how you can save the poor boys life. How  could warn him without schlatt finding out? you came to nothing. You and schlatt were married you were first lady, wherever you went he went. You were in a deep thought about tubbo and what his death would mean to the server when quackity quietly Knocked on the dark oak door.

Quackity- uh boss I hate to interrupt but you have a meeting in 20 minutes down at the twitch prime church.

Schlatt sighed. Stood up off his chair and walked over to you, but not before grabbing the bottle. Schlatt got super close to your face, so close you could see the little wrinkles that had developed around his eyes and forehead since becoming president, your nose scrunched under the smell of alcohol from his breath or from his clothes you honestly couldn't tell anymore.

Schlatt- we will no longer speak on the matter. I AM THE PRESIDENT FOR MANBURG WHAT I SAY GOES.

He slaunted away from you pushing past quackity. Quackity gave you a sad smile as you both knew how mean schlatt could get when he drank, and recently he had been drinking alot. Quackity turned towards the open door to make sure schlatt was outta ear distance.

Quackity- go.

You- huh?

Quackity- I told Phill that you would be seeing him thecno Wilbur and Tubbo in the bunker. Go warn them.

You- i- hhhh thank you quackity I love you so much man.

Quackity- I know I know. Hurry because it looks like we are going to be in for along night if schlatt messes up this meeting

You- he's so drunk he can't even walk straight of course he's going to ok I'll run along I'll take the horse to speed things up.

Quackity quickly shut the door before running to where schlatt would be waiting downstairs for the meeting while you grabbed your axe and saddle. You made your way out the escape hatch in your office and found your horse (name your horse here pls comment the names I wanna see what y'all name your animals)

Horse- neyyyy

You- heyyyy boy shhh it's just me ok ok steady ok I'm getting on 3...2...1... And uppp fewww ok not so bad is it (horse name) ok off to warn Tubbo.

Your horse stamped it's hooves and took off for the bunker. You had ridden this path hundreds of time so it was easy for you and the horse to get to, quackity said he already told Phill about your arrival do he should be waiting for you to turn up. You were right because Wilbur was waiting outside for you to arrive. His usual green jacket and black Beanie on his head.

Wilbur- hey y/n in here look you can rest (horse name) in here Niki built it.

You- Niki joined? Awesome o haven't seen her in so long, well since she messed up the soup and schlatt fired her

Wilbur- how is he by the way y/n? Come inside and we can talk about him later or should I say rant

You- true true.

You walked through the entrance carefully, you had fallen down the rails the first few times Wilbur took you here. Over his presidential campaign you and wilbur had actually been pretty close and luckily kept in contact even though schlatt won. SBI was a group you practically grew up with just not enough for Phill to adopt you, but you don't blame him, you wouldn't fit the dynamic plus your parents didn't really like the idea but they never really liked anything you did.

Phill- oh hey y/n were all down here what do you want to talk about quackity said it was urgent so I called a meeting.

You got to the bottom of the steps to find everyone waiting on the floor for you to arrive. By everyone I mean: Phill, Tubbo, Tommy, Niki, thecno. You waved at Niki who had changed her hair colour since you saw her last she waved back with a huge smile on her face but a hint of sadness in your eyes. You had changed so much, you just look exhausted which was not wrong.

You- oh um yes hi everyone, sorry to be so blunt but uhhh there is no better way to say this. Tubbo is in grave danger. Schlatt is planning to...

Your hands started to shake vigorously, you felt dizzy, you wanted to throw up. Almost as if your body is warning you about doing this right now it's screaming at you to not betray your husband of four years like this but you have to.

Tommy- planning what y/n spit it out?

Niki- hey, y/n it's ok shhh Tommy what schlatt planning in doing to Tubbo?

You- he's PLANNING TO EXECUTE you tubbo. He knows, I don't know why or how but he knows about all of this and your his right hand man he's going to kill you tubbo, hang you for tertiary. I'm so sorry I-

Tommy- Tubbo? No? You can't die not now

Thecno- all our plans. Just gone.

Phill- he can't hang tubbo he's just a boy.

At this point you were sobbing now. Full on ugly crying. Your heart physically hurt from all the angst and the possibility of Tubbo dying. Your knees gave out on the floor as you wept for the young boy and he was still alive. The others argued in the back as to what to do. Tommy grabbed Tubbo and hugged him, Wilbur was crying over the threat of danger even thecno was a little on edge.

You- I'm sorry. But I must go I can't I can't stay im sorry.

Phill- it's ok. Thank you for warning us sport.

With that you climbed the stairs thinking about nothing honestly. You were numb. Your husband was going to murder someone you looked as your brother for years what did this mean for you? You were also helping them did he know about that? How did he know about tubbo's tretariy? You got on the back of your horse and rode back to manburg.

Climbing up the shoot to your office was miserable. You felt miserable, confused and alone. You had no idea how long you were sat in your chair looking at the chipped desk until the door was slammed open hitting the wall with a lud bang. You didn't need to look up to know it was your husband. Even before marriage he always slammed doors open like they were nothing.

Schlatt- what's got you all down in the dumps? HM sweetheart?

You- you know what and don't call me that.

You crossed your arms still refusing to make eye contact with the ram hybrid. This really pissed him off. He however pissed you off more by calling you sweetheart which to some would seem sweet but you knew schlatt better. This time was dripping in sarcasm because he was mind fucked drunk by now not caring about anyone or anything. Schlatt waddled up to your desk and stood right on front of you, still not looking up at him you pulled out some paperwork and started to mindlessly sign it.

Schlatt- me YOUR PRESIDENT just signed a huge deal with badboyhalo.what is wrong with you recently huh? Cats got your tounge ok what about pig hybrid got your tounge? Or angel of death got  your tounge or exhild child got your tounge?

You froze. He did know.

Schlatt- AHH struck a nerve, don't stop signing MY papers dear you are my wife after all.

You- no. Fuck you schlatt you can't hang the poor boy he's so young and innocent what was he supposed to do? You know I have to sign paperwork before you do anything and I won't sign off on it.

You threw your pen at schlatt in a rage. You didn't see if it hit him to enraged to care, papers were ripped, you there everything off your desk onto the floor. Schlatt just stood there blank expression not saying anything to you.

You- fuck you schlatt you don't control me.

You picked up the photo of you and schlatt on your wedding day. You ponderd on it for a second before stomping up to schlatt and shoving the picture on his face.

You- look at it. LOOK AT US LOOK HOW HAPPY I WAS NOW LOOK AT ME? DO I LOOK HAPPY TO YOU? OR DO I LOOK EXHAUSTED? STRESSED? because I am all of them things being married to you schlatt you are a terrible president and you have no power you're a pussy and won't face your problems like a real man.

Schlatt picked up the bottle of vodka and downed the whole lot you just stood there absolutely raging over this man's attitude and willingness to just disregard everyone in his life.

Schlatt- I DONT CARE HOW YOI FEEL I DONT CARW ABOUT ANYONE NOT EVEN QUACKITY OR MY WIFE. I AM THE BEST PRESIDENT MANBURG HAD EVER SEEN AND YOU WILL OBAY THE RULE OF SCHLATT. I KNOW YOU HAVE BEEN HELPING THE FUCKERS AND YOU WILL SUFFER JUST LIKE TUBBO, JUST LIKE TOMMY, JUST LIKE DREAM YOU WILL PAY THE PRICE FOR YOUR CRIMES. AGAINST. YOUR COUNTRY. AGAINST. YOUR PRESIDENT.

With every word schlatt got closer and closer to you. Terrified of schlatt, becoming increasingly more angry to the point his horns have grown pitch black out of pure hatred. You moved back as far as you could against the glass in your office. Schlatt pressing you up against it with his body but this time shoving a finger in your face and still yelling about how incompetent you are as a wife and as a person.

Suddenly you felt a stabbing pain just above your heart. You look down to see a black colour sword through your chest and red blood gushing out onto your clothes and floor ( ok the sword is still in so in irl not a lot of blood would actually escape unless the object was removed top tip but for theatrics blood eveywhere) you weakly reach up to grasp the blood covers wrist of schlatt to pull the sword out but to no avail as you suddenly feel super dizzy and everything goes black.

Quackity- she's.... She's.....y/n's dead

Quackity heard you and schlatt yelling in his office when silence happend. He knew this was a bad sign and anxiously walked to schlatts office with shaky hand. He got close enough to hear a loud thud and XP drop on the ground. He ran back to his office to think when schlatt walked by ( in this his office is made.of glass) staring at his hands, suit all covered in blood. His heart dropped and ran back to the office to collect your stuff, running on adrenaline he ran all the way the he bunker to tell the others. No time for him to cry yet he was still in shock over what just happened.

Niki- no no no no pls say your lying pleas no no not y/n

Niki dropped to her knees sobbing and rocking backwads and forwards much like you did less than three hours ago when you came to warn the crew. You were her friend and was the only person who helped her when she was working for schlatt at the white house.

Wilbur- no no why how? Pls no?

Wilbur and you were probably the closest, he found you in the forest over 12 years ago chasing after foxes and collecting berries Wilbur always wanted a younger sibling as this point Phill only had thecno and Wilbur.

Phill- oh no poor y/n.

Tommy- what the fuck how?

Phill when he first saw you recognised you emidiatly looking much like your father. However he knew the man and knew what he was like so he had no problems when you visited them for tea many nights a week. He did think about adopting you right after Tommy arrived as you looked after him so well. Crafting him many clothes and many pumpkin pies. So so so many he always asked Phil if he had the recipe as he knew you couldn't make them as frequently as you used to.

Everyone was going to miss you greatly they just didn't expect to see you at the festival but now as ghosty/n. All your tries and efforts were in vain. Manburg still got blown up. But you did make good friends with Ghostbur. Glatt knew off you but was too embarrassed to see you.

Ugh ok this took me over two hours to write non stop. I just got this idea and ran with it omg I got so carried away. As of now probably my fav story.

[serenedash]

I started rambling about my experience with kh and then it turned into khux and then it just turned into me rambling about Ryou and my art journey????? enjoy I guess,

it’s very long but there’s art in there :)

It’s funny to think about my kh journey as a whole tbh, I grew up watching my mom play video games, which included kh1 and 2. I wasn’t allowed to play the playstation2 we owned BUT I did have a gameboy so the first game I played was CoM (after my mom finished it ofc,) so I guess you could say I’ve always been passionate about kh “””side games””” lmao but I did fall off of kh very quickly bc again, I wasn’t allowed to play our PS2 and also I Am A Terrible Gamer I’ve Never Finished CoM I’m sorry you all had to find out like this, but then 358/2 came out when I was in middle school and!!! I didn’t care and I didn’t play idk why lol

Anyway, fast forward to high school I’m like 15 and my older sister, who HAS been keeping up with kh, has a wallpaper on her phone of roxas and ventus. And bc I haven’t kept up I say “nice roxas wallpaper” and she says “thanks but it’s roxas and ventus” and I proceeded to get so mad that I was determined to prove to her that her wallpaper was just roxas twice and then I fell down the BBS rabbit hole and suddenly I was reading about vanitas and then I’m reading the fan translations of the BBS novel and I’m crying??? I am sobbing???? and that’s how I actually got into kh for real lol we are vanitas stans before we are people,

It’s so funny how I thought I was some kh super fan, knowing all this stuff that I spent so long reading and rewatching cutscene movies, but I never once, SOMEHOW NEVER ever came across khx. It’s so absurd and bizarre I seriously have no idea how I never once encountered khx prior to khux. I suppose that has to do with the fact I wasn’t involved in the fandom? In early high school I had stepped away from fandoms as a whole and I didn’t have any interest in really posting content or interacting with fans anymore bc of how burnt out I was from a previous fandom,

but khux released! and I was so hype and excited for it! on launch day I was a senior in high school, I had ran around to every “nerd” and weeb I could find in school to ask them to join my party and fun fact about me is I have crippling social anxiety I literally refuse to start conversations irl so holy shit I was OUT HERE doing the MOST

My player just originally had my name (Matt) but everyone in my party had fun names so Ryou was born! High school was one big yugioh phase for me and ryou bakura is one of my favorite characters ever so it was just the logical name choice lol I quickly started creating Ryou, the character, as well. I was also leaving my homestuck phase and that + vanitas obsession made This character design (art circa 2016)

If y’all are familiar with my kh oc’s you might notice that keyblade now belongs to my kid Monty LOL

Anyway that got scrapped quickly for the chip and dale outfit (which is where Ryou’s trademark goggles are from <3) Goggles have been a staple of my character designs for a LONG TIME so like, it had to be done, (that’s a separate ramble about a separate oc tho)

OG Ryou was an interesting guy; he was a young party leader with this overwhelming responsibility on his shoulders bc of his status as a party leader. In his original story, he also struggled heavily with darkness, much like Terra but for Ryou it was more that the darkness was controlling him and not like a source of power like it was for Terra

A big part of early Ryou I kept, however, was the crushing awareness of loss. One of my party members (the strongest one at the time,) had left without saying a word and I was very confused and hurt. This was around the time the ephemera plot was happening so I decided to incorporate it into Ryou’s story; having him experience losing a friend to darkness since it’s so normal for wielders in Daybreak Town to just disappear, and this would unintentionally become a theme for both me and Ryou as khux friends would just randomly disappear.

I was desperate for khux at this point and I decided to watch the fan translations for khx and GOD, god, was I obsessed. I couldn’t stop thinking about the foretellers. And I’m not going off about that here bc I already did that, but I actually started entering fandom again! I did it slowly, I started on tumblr before this blog was made altho it was me sending anons to the few khux related blogs I could have lol a friend convinced me to get twitter where I got involved with the ffxv fandom, which led me to the kh fandom and eventually the khux fandom there which is what REALLY got me going on khux.

I joined discord servers, most of the servers I’m in are khux related, and from there I joined the khux oc rp (shout out to anyone there who might be reading this lol here’s some art from the beginning of the rp,)

It’s SO FUNNY how the RP influenced me so heavily. I hadn’t RP’d in YEARS, I used to have a strict no oc rp policy, but here I was? And the funny part is, I had barely developed Ryou. I had scrapped his original story and all I had was POST WAR Ryou so I literally had to reverse write him; I had only ever written him as a depressed, guilt ridden adult, but it was a fucking blast and I have such fond memories of this rp when it was active,

But anyway, this encouraged me to get more serious about art! I started drawing, writing, cosplaying, and roleplaying when I hadn’t done any of that stuff in a very long time. The first time I ever drew a background was for a deviant art khux competition actually LOL

also! I always think extremely fondly of the drawing I did of Aced in the keyblade war. It was also one of the first backgrounds I ever drew and it felt like my real starting point in the khux fandom. It got a ton of notes on here and someone wrote a tiny fic in a reblog which just made me SO HAPPY like it really felt like people were noticing me :) I was going to draw a matching Ira but!! I just never did!! One day tho, it’s on my art bucket list to redraw this along with Ira,

Aside from my personal growth, khux was great for my social life ngl, I made SO MANY friends online and got to meet a ton of people irl over the years! It’s crazy to think about all the people I now know and talk to? It honestly makes me really emotional. I’ll never forget taking the train into NYC and meeting up with discord friends. Going to conventions and talking with people about the latest khux update? Absolutely insane and those were some GOOD TIMES, if I thanked every khux friend or even just person who made an impact on me then we’d be here for a LONG TIME,

Fun fact, for my Lauriam cosplay all I needed to buy was the wig I just owned his outfit LOL also? Probably retiring that cosplay ngl people treated me like absolute garbage when I wore him and it led to a lot of confidence issues for awhile ngl. That’s probably one of the only memorable negative experiences I have with khux; it was great when khux people recognized me but for kh fans that weren’t in khux? They were FUCKING MEAN??? fuck kh fandom at large, I only care about khux fandom,

This leads me to another huge part of my experience in khux fandom: THEORIES!! I used to write SO MANY and oh my god my brain was so full all the time. It was a huge appeal for me in the fandom; I had been previously writing theory posts in the RWBY fandom and it just migrated over to khux for me lol I had done a ton of theorizing around Lauriam tbh, it was really the only reason I liked his character at all bc initially I did not care about the dandelions, anyone who wasn’t Skuld I was like “please leave Now thanks”

A funny part of khux fandom I never intended to be apart of is the MEMES, I really only started doing memes as stress relief bc college had me so busy all I had time/energy for was these quick little shit post drawings.

The first meme I made, file name “invi despair” LOL we need to get her a girlfriend smh anyway, I think in my senior year of college I did a bunch of rapid fire memes all in one month bc the stress of finals was getting so bad afdgfhdgf as far as I know my impact on this fandom will be my memes bc all I do now is enter a kh/khux server and introduce myself and I go “yeah I draw art. here’s a meme” and everyone goes OH YOU, honestly I am nothing if not a clown

I’ve talked so much idk where I’m going with this. Khux is just a good game even if the gameplay actually kind of really sucks yknow lol but it was the first game I played where I like, REALLY got into the meta and the mechanics. I used to read so much on the mechanics and watch youtube videos on which medals were worth pulling for. I was never a whale or a top player exactly, but I could rank well if I tried lol I’ve made it to the top 100 for solo rankings, my party has made it to top 10, and in pvp I’ve made top 300. I’m not the highest level in my party but FUCK do I know how to manipulate this game LOL

And with all that hard work, the strategies, the theorizing, the content I’ve made-- it’s been my life for 5 years. I’ve logged into khux almost every single day. At the end, I have logged 1820 days in khux out of 1910 days. Kinda crazy. Crazier I’ve never spent money on khux either lol the only “money” gone into it was one time my mom gave me a google play store gift card and I used it on my birthday for a VIP xemnas medal which eventually made it to regular pulls anyway but it was nice and a little treat :)

I’m not a gacha fan, I don’t care for it, so I don’t think I’ll be touching another gacha again. But for kh? This was pretty fucking awesome, even if it sucked a lot sometimes LOL It was worth it for the people I’ve met most of all I think. I would honestly be a completely different person without khux and that’s REALLY insane to think about.

[yamithediaperdork]

The New Baby (Harry Potter)

Life after high school wasn't all it was cracked up to be, at least if you were a ex wizard like Draco Malfoy who while he had avoided jail time for being part of the death eaters had been permanently stripped of his magic and made into a squib. As one might guess, after living a live of luxury and being able to use magic from a young age Draco was totally and completely hopeless at living without magic and in a twist that even he hadn't know about, it had turned out he'd never actually been potty trained. His Mother had cast a charm on him that had given him potty control from the time he was 6 months old having grown tired of the smell's the baby was making and well when his magic was taken from him so were any long lasting charms. the end result meant not only was he trying (and failing) to adept to the muggle world, he was doing it while back in nappies and after a week, suffering from a massive case of nappy rash as he was hopeless at getting himself clean. what little bit of his families wealth he had hung onto was quickly used up with his choice to live in a hotel and going with disposable nappies instead of cloth (He was a Malfoy damn it and he WASN'T going to wash his own shit out of a dirty nappy!) and the longest he had manged to hold down a job was under a hour, he just didn't have the temperament to work at a shop. He'd either get in a fight with a customer, get in a fight with his boss, or having a crying fit when he couldn't get a piece of muggle tech to work. One month after High school and Draco was broke, out on the street, and down to his last three nappies and rooting though a trash can for something to eat, and thats when Potter and Granger had found him.

Life after High school for Harry had been a breeze. He was rich already and world famous, and of course landed his dream job of being a auror. Likewise Hermione had managed to land a part time teaching job that left her free to come home on weekends while spending weekdays at Hogwarts. True it sucked that Ron had cut both of them out of his life after finding out they had hooked up while he'd been off having one of his many little tantrums but they were happy together for the most part,. the most part was the fact it came to light that they would never be able to have kids because of a curse Harry had taken during the battle of Hogwarts. It was a crushing blow for the young couple but they just agreed that when they were ready, they would just adopt. Of course they had both heard about what happened with Draco and shared a good laugh over heard how he needed nappies but that day on the street when they found him fishing though a rubbish bin and chomping hungrily on a half eaten burger all the joy had gone out of it. Draco had been humiliated and tried to run off but since they were in the magic part of town no one batted a eye when Hermione had lifted him up with her wand and they'd forced him to come with them..only pausing on the trip back to the nice 2 story cottage Harry owned for Harry to go and pick up some nappies and rubber pants for Draco and Hermione to treat Draco to a meal at the little fish and chip place the drug store had in the back.

Draco never stopped waiting for the other shoe to drop. he knew there was no reason that these two would be this nice to him without setting him up for something bad after everything he'd done in school to them. Still, he wolfed down the fish and chips, three baskets worth as he'd only eaten what little he could find for the 2 weeks since he'd been on the street and chugged the cola that Hermione kept getting refilled for him as fast as he could. God, she looked so good. Mature, sexy, giving him looks of kindness and encouraging him to eat and drink as much as he wanted and ignoring how horrible he must of smelled. Potter came back from whatever he was doing and they were asking him question, like where was he staying, did he have a job and the like. "Stay wherever I can and try and avoid trouble." Draco said, Pausing from stuffing his face, on his third basket. he took a long sip of his cola then went on. "No job. no one wanted a nappy brat when I could wash regularly. now.." he gave a mirthless laugh and went back to chowing down, noting the look that the two gave each other. "I've got a question for you two.. Where's Weasley? Usually you three are the three musketeers and all that." Draco asked, putting a napkin to his face and belching and wincing as a loud fart came out and there was a warm wet rush between his cheeks. He was shitting himself. "I..Uh..Never mind. I should get going." He said, his cheeks turned red and he went to excuse himself. "It's ok Draco." Harry said, putting a hand on his shoulder, and giving Draco a smile even as a horrid smell filled the shop. "it's not like you can help it." Hermione and Harry did get up and moved with Draco as he moved to leave, Hermione leaving a fat tip to the poor server and then they were out on the street and he found himself numbly following their lead towards the a fore mentioned cottage, his limbs seemingly not wanting to listen to him. 'bastards! they used a unforgivable curse on me!' Draco thought, the realization hitting him like all the greasy food had hit his guts and was now hitting his nappy. the poor thing was holding up either and the back of his dirt brown trousers were growing dark with shit stained as his filth leaked down his legs. entering the house which was painted a lovely yellow, Draco felt shame flooding him as the house looked like something out of a magazine, and was nice and clean. it had been filled with the smell of wild flowers at least until he'd been marched inside and his mess was coming out his pant legs, staining the lovely cream colored carpet. it was a shocked when he heard himself actually speak up, they had lifted the curse at some point and he'd just kept walking with them on either side as they'd led him to a bathroom. "I-I'm sorry I ruined your car- Hey I can talk!" He said, even as hot tears went down his grime and food covered face, cutting a path. "Yeah mate, we only had it on you for about 30 second but you kept being a good boy. Listen Draco, Carpet's can be cleaned so down worry about it. what me and Hermione wanna do right now is look after you. That means getting you washed up." Harry said in a calm and soothing voice. "I..I don't..Why? I've always been a rotter to you both.." Draco whimpered. "Well, you weren't exactly at your most charming but with your upbringing.." Hermione said, and was helping Draco with his jacket and shirt, scanning his body for a second and giving a sigh of relief. "I told you he wasn't the type to use needles Hermione." Harry said and Draco  blinked and squirmed. It wasn't that he hadn't been tempted to use some of the muggles drugs, but just he'd never been able to afford to. which was a fact he figured he had better hide from these two. "in any case.. We wanna look after you for a bit Draco. Maybe help you get up on your feet." Harry was saying as his gently tugged down Draco's pants and despite the stench of it, grinned wildly at the sight of Draco's swollen store brand nappy. "Wonderful. Now can you step out of your pants please buddy?" the question had it been from anyone other then these two would of triggered a brat fit but Draco just felt exhausted and nodded, bracing himself on Harry's shoulders as he did as he was told and Hermione used a spell to dispose of the pants. "We'll buy you more later. your shirt can be washed at least." she said holding a nose. "I..I uh, Ok.." Draco said. it wasn't like he was in a position to argue.

Harry was wiping the back of Draco's legs, getting most of the sludge that had leaked out and dabbing at the spot here it leaked when he paused and frowned. "Draco, spread your legs for a second please." Harry said. Draco did and a gasp came out of Hermione's mouth as they say the red welts and weeping blood spots on Draco's inner thighs. they had both assumed he'd been walking funny due to his nappy's thickness but their was telling anther tale. "Draco..doesn't that hurt?" Harry asked slowly, looking up with concern at the blond. "I..I just got used to it..and it doesn't hurt as bad as the rest." Draco said in a small voice, looking away from them. "The..rest?" Hermione asked slowly, then looked at Harry who nodded. He slowly undid the spoiled nappy and the smell got worst but neither were focusing on that as they both gasped at the raw skin and horrible nappy rash that Draco had, his privates were a mixture of red and brown. "Oh Draco!' Hermione cried out and started the tub going, trying to will the water to heat up faster. Harry was gently wiping at the filth and paused as Draco would flinch or hiss as Harry did so, but then with his eyes shut tight and tears running he whimpered out a request in a ragged breath. "J-Just get it done fast!" Harry didn't need to be told twice and was fighting back tears of his own as he cleaned Draco up, the tissues a mess of shit and blood and the poor guy was turning pale. Harry didn't bother to ask how this had happened, between needing to make his nappies last and Harry doubted he'd been using talcum powder or rash cream.. Not helping matters was his pubic hairs which he had clearly tried to shave at one point and many were coming back as ingrown hairs. getting him as clean as he could with the toilet paper and flushing the loo, Hermione and harry helped him into the tub and it was Harry who had a arm under Draco's and a hand on his chest as Hermione switched from tub to their detachable shower head. Keeping the flow on gentle but firm enough to wash away the filth she worked over the mess as Draco whimpered and started to sob. "Shhh It's ok Draco, it's going to be ok. we're here for you." Harry cooed and rubbed the slimmer mans chest. god, you could see how unwell he'd been eating, his ribs were almost showing and there was no way that was just from two weeks on the streets. Draco had been ignoring his diet clearly for awhile and there was his brief 2 months in prison to take in as well. "Jesus.. " Harry muttered and locked eyes with his wife,She was almost crying as she washed away the filth, and nodded back to him. "I..I..It hurts.." Draco whimpered in a pathetic, mockery of his former tone, and he looked back at Harry, seemingly unable to look at Hermione. "I..Just..Help.." he whimpered like a broken puppy. "we're gonna Draco." Harry promised. "But right now we have to remove your pubic hair. it's lea-" Harry started and Draco happened to look down as Hermione turned the water off and reached for the shaving cream and a razor. "N-No! No razor! get that away from me! you'll cut me!" Draco Howled, suddenly alive and with a power Harry hadn't expected and would of over powered him if his fear fueled power hadn't run out as fast as it had come on. Draco slumped in Harry's arms, panting and weakened and sniffling. "D-Draco what was that about?" Harry asked. "M-My first night on the streets... a.. a big heavy set muggle.. he..he had a razor. said I was going to.. to.. " and Draco whimpered and sobbed., but went on. "Or he'd cut me. I..I was scared and so I..I.." Draco's sobs filled the bathroom and Harry and Hermione were silent in shock. "Draco I.. I'm JUST going to remove your hair down here..so you can get better. NO one i this house will ever make you do THAT." Hermione said in a soft and calming tone. "I..I..Promise?" Draco sniffled. "We will NEVER lie to you Draco, thats a promise." Harry promised. "...I might flinch...I can't help it." Draco said after about 30 seconds. "I'll keep that in mind." Hermione said and then got to work.

With Draco semi cleaned up and shaved, the poor boy still needed a soak and a washing. the tub was washed out and then switch back to the facet and Draco was gently laid down in the tub, on the slant that all tubs have and the water slowly filled  the tub as Harry and Hermione exchange looks and squeezed each others hands. they had been told they could never have a baby but here was a boy who needed a set of loving parents in the worse way, never mind he was their age. Noticing how Draco semi flinched around her as she moved in, Hermione stepped back and let Harry wash Draco and get his hair cleaned and then tried to let Draco enjoy the warm water for a bit as she shut off the tap. it was all for naught though as a combination of what he had been though and the hot/warm water had Draco quickly fall asleep in the tub, and it was only her quick movements (Harry had been talking to her, his back to Draco) that kept his head from going under while Harry pulled the plug to drain the water.

Getting Draco out of the water and wrapped up in a soft towel, Harry couldn't help but be amazed at how light Draco was, almost as if he had hollow bones. Carrying him to the makeshift nursery that Hermione and Harry had started before finding out they could never conceive, it was Hermione who took to using a few spells to change the size of the crib and the like while Harry for at least this nappy change set Draco on the plush carpet. Laying out 3 of the soft and thick terry cloth diapers under the sleeping boy, Harry proceeded to coat Draco's butt and crotch with rash cream and followed up with a thick coating of baby powder that made the sleeping blond give a adorable little sneeze. Pinning the nappy's up he got the light blue rubber pants over them with a little bit of trouble and then Hermione was holding up two Onesie's she'd made big enough to fit the adult baby. "What do you think Harry?" She asked held up a one one with a dinosaur print up it and a light blue one with a teddy on the front. "Teddy or dinos?" "oh, teddy for sure." Harry chuckled and they started to get him dressed.

Draco woke up about a hour later, Yawning and rubbing at his eyes. he'd had a crazy dream that he'd run into Harry and Hermione and they had taken him back to their place to make him their big baby. He was a little bit confused on why he was on something so comfortable when the local shelter would of been closed by now and slowly forced his semi gummy eyes to opened and look around. "...On second thought, Maybe that wasn't a weird dream after all.." Draco said in a soft voice. He was in a nursery alright, light green walls and different magical beasts painted on the walls. the carpet was a light brown color and looked very plush and soft and he was in a wooden crib that had been painted white and had a queen sized mattress in it, and a mobile hanging up over head with quidditch players hanging from it, spinning around. the crib had a little activity toy on the run of it, different knobs and the like he could play with and semi mirror in it that let him see his new attire. "Bloody hell..I look like a over sized baby!" Draco squeaked out. before he could take anymore in the door to the Nursery opened and in walked Harry and Hermione. "Now now, watch the potty mouth." Harry scolded with a smirk, wagging a finger. "Oh be nice, He's just a little shocked. I think we can give him some leeway." Hermione said and then leaned over the crib rail. "Do you feel better after your nap little one?" Truth be told he did feel better, and his nether regions weren't as sore as before but still, he was founding himself in a not quite mute shock, but unable to form words and he babbled away before just slowly nodding his head. "S'all right Little guy. I know this is a bit of a shock but trust me, you're gonna love it here." Harry said. "I..Buh...Da?" came Draco's less then witty reply. "well spoken." Hermione giggled and ruffled Draco's hair and gushed as the little guy closed his eye's in bliss and nuzzled into her hand. "OK, that's just adorable." Harry chuckled and Joined Hermione on the crib rail. "Now some basic rules we're gonna need you to follow Draco...Don't worry, they're nothing horrible." Draco opened his eyes at that and gulped nervously, he'd never been all that good at following the rules. "Rule number one: You're not allowed to change your own nappies. I know sometimes it might seem easier for you if you could but that's mine or Hermione's job now. you'll never be left in a soiled nappy any longer then you have to be in it, If I'm busy cooking or the like.All you have to worry about is looking cute" Harry said holding up a finger. "Rule number two:You're no longer allowed to bathe yourself. We were gonna show some leeway with it but after you conked out in the tub earlier, it's just for your safety." Hermione said, holding up two fingers. "Rule number three: we know you're still a grown man with certain needs, but if you feel the need to pleasure yourself let me or mommy know first and we'll give you a little privacy. I don't really wanna walk in on you humping a teddy." Harry said, smirking and holding up three fingers as Draco blushed BIG time at that. "Rule number four: Your to call me and Harry mommy and daddy, or if you have a varmint of those you prefer that's ok. You'll need to get used to it for when we take you out in public as we'll be using a shrinking charm to make you look like a little boy. We could use the charm all the time if you prefer but we both figured that should be your choice to make after you've tried out both sizes." Hermione said and held up four fingers. "And last but not least, Rule number five: Your not to try and feed yourself without permission from mommy or daddy. We want you to relax and enjoy being spoiled. Questions, comments, concerns?" Harry asked and waited. Draco squirmed in his thick nappy, blushing as he listened and then finally found his voice as he did indeed have one question. "W-what happens if I break a rule?" He asked in a small voice and then looking around his crib he spotted a snake stuffie and pulled it to his chest. "Heh.. well first time will be a scolding and likely a time out. second time will be a spanking on your diapered butt and a time out. third time.." And Harry trailed off, but it didn't take a genius to guess the unspoken threat. "I'll be good! I'll be very good!" Draco promised, then paused for a second and a little smirk crossed his face. "You knowwwww Mommy and daddy.. you didn't make swearing against the rules. so I can say fu-" "Don't push it little man. you won't get a spanking for swearing but there's a bar of soap with your name on it." Hermione chuckled. that was met with a muffled poot from Draco who gave a sheepish grin. "Jusssst hada test it you know,." "Mhmm..I can see this is going to be a interesting relationship." Harry said and then both him and Hermione leaned over the crib bars and smooched Draco's cheeks.

The end for now

[damfinofanfiction]

Chapter 5: Their Night Out

Goodness! I thought it was an easier chapter, but it turned into a longer one. I hope you like this!

It’s been a couple of days since Gail heard something concerning about Buster Keaton that she should never know. Gail was in her room which was meant to be for a maid. It was 11 am, she decided to get up, get dressed, and apply her dark makeup. She tried to stop thinking about Keaton, but she couldn't. Why would he betray the mother of his children, The same woman who he cast in “Our Hospitality”? Then, a thought occurred to her, what if Mayzie is lying? It is hard to believe that she would make up a fib about one of Hollywood's elite. Suddenly, her train of thought stopped when she heard knocking on a door.

“Come in,” Gail answered, brushing her hair.

Sally slowly opened the door, sending Gail two pieces of toast because she missed breakfast. She said to her housemate, “Bae it’s unlike me, but, I’m a bit worried, you aren't yourself since after we got home from the Venice café last Thursday.” She went in to sit on the edge of the bed, “What’s eating ya?”

Gail turned away from the mirror to look at her, “Sal, how much do you know Mayzie?”

Sally shook her head, “Nah, I don’t pay attention to the whole gang.”

“Do you think she would ever lie to anyone?”

She leaned on the bedpost, “I do think she might have lied about her age.”

She took a deep breath before saying, “At the party, she told me she went out with a famous actor.” Sally’s face brightens up in astonishment. Then Gail continued with “And he’s married.” Her brows, then furrowed, “What?”

“She also told me not to tell anyone.” She moved next to sally, “What do you think?”

“If she were lying, she would say he’s a bachelor.”

Gail looked down feeling disappointed, “Well, I hope that isn’t true.”

“It doesn’t matter Bae, this is Hollywood, people sleep around.”

She turned to sally, “You sleep around.”

“Yes, but not to married people!” Gail wanted to weep if it weren’t, for Sally’s presence and her freshly applied makeup, she finally took the toast and ate it “Did Mayzie tell you who it was?”

Gail responded while brushing off the crumbs from her lap, “Yes, but I cannot tell.”

“Then leave it as it is.”

Gail puts aside the half-eaten toast  and lies down, feeling aggravated, “I need to clear my head.” 

Sally lies to join Gail when she suggests, “How about we go out for the night?”

Gail was uncertain, but, she nonetheless responded with, “So long as I get you home at a reasonable time, I think it's a good plan.”

Sally suggested, “We can go dancing and then to a speakeasy”

Gail nodded in agreement, “When’ll that happen?” 

Sally responded with a blank expression, “Not if my aunt is occupied.” They realized that Lenore could get worried ill with both of them being out at night. 

Gail said to her, “If she falls busy, We’ll see if that time comes.” 

Sally held her hand, “It’s a deal.”

2 weeks later, Lenore was set to go to a friend’s house for a game of bridge, leaving the women free to go downtown. They went out of the house in their short evening dresses like flappers. Sally was dressed in red and wears her stockings rolled, unlike Gail, who left her stockings unrolled along with her black and white dress. They went by taxi for dinner and dancing. The nightclub they attended was not elite, but it was to their taste. They danced to jazz and the foxtrot. Before they exhaust themselves, they retreated to the Speakeasy by taxi.

After they are dropped off, Sally and Gail walked on the pavement until they reached the toy store. The blonde took out a tiny piece of paper from her clutch, “It’s got to be that address.” Gail detected the alley on the side of the store, “I see four trash cans lined up here”. Sally smiled, “Then this must be the Joint.” Located at the end of the alleyway, they climbed down the steps to get to the door. 

Gail clung to the rail in caution, “How secure is it?”

“The speakeasy changes passwords every week, thankfully I remained in contact with my ex Roger. I hope he’s kept out of jail.” Sally knocked on the door. A pair of eyes appeared from the peephole. “Password?”

 She replied, “Davis sent me.” 

It was opened by a man in overalls, who padded both of their bodies thoroughly to make sure neither of them had police badges.

 “Hey Jackass! Do you do this to all the patrons or just the women?” Sally squawked. 

“Quiet that’s my business!” The man yelled as he examined their clutch purses.  After inspection, he said, “You’re good to go,”

The friends were let into the room as Gail went curious when she noticed two passageways, then she was notified that one was to be discreet. They went through the main passageway to a chamber designed to look like a saloon. The Gin mill does not have a traditional clientele, as its patrons come from various races. The musician was Hispanic, while the bartender was Asian. Gail was intrigued at the diversity but remained cautious for rough drunks. They are only carousing men, hopefully not threatening. 

Sally walked to the serving area to order drinks while Gail went to find seats for them. She found a booth in an area that was somehow unoccupied except for an overweight man sitting in the back. Gail thought that guy looked very familiar, but she prefers to enjoy her evening. 

Gail raised her hand to get Sally’s attention. As she joins her on a booth, a server brought them complimentary potato chips and water. Though they were satisfied from dinner, Sally couldn’t help herself for a bite. 

Sally was elated when the drinks appeared on their table. She handled her glass saying, “Oh I miss you.” before downing her giggle water. However, Gail was nervous since she had never had real alcohol before. “How can I be careful?” Sally told her, “Drink slowly”.” As she took her first sip she tingled to the burning sensation in her mouth and then her throat. Her reaction caused her friend to laugh, which infuriated her. Sally then congratulated her, “Welcome to my world.” And after a moment, they clink their glasses together. 

Not long after, Sally nearly spits out her drink, whispered to Gail, “Bae, look behind you.” She reacted in surprise at the sight of Buster Keaton, who was shaking hands with the overweight fellow. 

Gail nearly slammed her face on the table when she said, “Of all the Gin mills in Los Angeles at this hour of the day, he has to go here.”

Confused, she said to her raven-haired friend, “I thought he was your favorite.”

“I did before I hear-,” Gail paused before she spilled the beans.

However, Sally was quick to figure out, “Oh shit. That was Buster?”

Gail covered her face rather than admitting, but eventually nodded her head.

Sally did not react as strongly as her friend did but, was still in disbelief, “That explains why you’re feeling down and out.”

Gail is so upset that she took a few sips from her drink.

Sally patted her shoulder, “It doesn't matter if that's a bunch of crap or not, don't let that get your goat, you're supposed to sit back and calm your nerves.” She gestures to Buster, “Let that Keaton fellow hang out with the fat guy.”

She raised her eyebrows as she finally identified the man, “Sal, that’s Roscoe Arbuckle!” 

Gail didn't recognize Arbuckle at first because he hasn't appeared on film for over 3 years. Before the scandal, he was a headliner in films under the nickname, “Fatty”, and he had previously worked in keystone comedies. Her first exposure to Buster was when he started his own film career working with him.

Sally went perplexed, “Huh, I forgot all about him.”

As Gail was touched upon Buster's appreciation for his friend during hard times, she concluded that perhaps something good existed in Keaton after all.

************

“How’s business treating you, pal?” Buster asked, sitting across his friend.

Arbuckle shrugged, “Better than last time. The Tuxedo Comedies had me directing another short. It’s a comedic take on John Ford’s The Iron Horse.”

Keaton lounged on his seat, “My guess is you would be working with good ol’ Al St. John.”

“You are correct Bus. Speaking of which, he asked me for a favor for you.”

Buster responded with a sure nod.

“You know that Rocket Train you used for Our hospitality, he wants to borrow the Locomotive for the short.”

Grinning, he replied, “Well, I got to use it anyway.” Later, joking, he said, "Next thing you want me to be in the movie as well?” 

They laughed at the thought, but Arbuckle would consider it. Soon, their drinks show up with Buster having told the server that both of them are for him as he is worried they would be spit on by the server.

Roscoe asked, “Enough about me, How did Seven Chances go?”

Buster tapped the table as he responded, “I've got it, I came up with the perfect gag to end the sequence.” 

Roscoe cheerfully said,  “Good for you, how will that go then?” 

Buster wiggled his finger, “Ah, You have to watch my film to find out.” 

He raised his glass slightly, “Also I would like to thank you again for including Doris in Seven Chances.” 

“No problem, chief.” 2 friends clinked their glasses together.

*****************

Gail was drinking water when she asked, “Are they still here?”

Sally looked behind and said “Yep.”

Seeing the waiter come back, Gail made a suggestion, “You know what, how about if I buy him and Mr. Arbuckle a drink?”

Sally smiled seeing her clever side, “Getting his attention? I like it” she chipped in, “Let me pay for one of them!” 

Soon after, the server brought Buster and Roscoe 2 smaller glasses of liquor. Before they had a chance to speak, the server informed them that the drinks were paid for by the ladies at the booth. Gail shyly waved as the Server pointed to her and Sally. 

Roscoe half-wittingly questioned him, “Which one of these dames you will be taking in?”

Buster was offended. “Stop that! You know very well my heart belongs to my wife!” 

Roscoe half-heartedly said, “Yeah, the one you cheated on after she kicked you out of the bedroom.” Buster hushed him, concerned that someone would hear. 

As Roscoe was apologizing to Buster, Gail recognized Buster’s body language, in a suspecting manner, perhaps Arbuckle knows something.

Within an hour, Sally had ordered another round and asked Gail to mingle with the patrons, but she preferred instead to observe the body language of a screen comedian and his rotund friend. By the time sally returned she felt intoxicated but not too drunk. Gail, who was now seated next to her, gave her chips to counteract the effects of the alcohol. 

After all that carousing, Roscoe stood up and put on his hat and coat, “I’d better go home. Doris won’t like it if I leave her alone too long.”

The friends exchanged parting words and Roscoe left to the same door that his protégé had entered an hour before. Gail frowned seeing this, thinking that the stone face will have to leave as well. 

Gail sighed, “And I wondered just how innocent Buster really is.”

Sally went, “Screw it, go talk to him.”

Gail was bewildered. She thought sure after the time she encountered the comedian in person, she is certain she will pass out again. She told sally “I don’t know, after what happened on the set-”

Sally patted her cheek, “Bae, you made it so far without blacking out, you’ll be fine.”

Gail feeling unsure, took one more sip to ease her nerves, got up from her table, and straighten her dress.

Sally also stood up to whisper to her friend, “If you do not find out anything about him, I can talk to that Mayzie girl.” Then she pats her in the back before sitting down, “Good luck.”

Gail got Keaton’s attention when she stood near him.

She waved and smiled when introducing herself, “Hi, my name is Gail Anders.” She was trying hard not to blush, “In case you didn’t remember me, I was on one of the brides in the chase sequence in Seven Chances.” 

Keaton nodded, “Oh of course. I want to thank you for the drinks.”

"You're welcome, It's all we can do.” she pointed to sally behind her, “She helped pay for them. Her name is Sally.” 

Gail had her hands on her back to hide her fidgeting fingers, “I want to tell you I’ve been a fan of your work. I even saw your films with Mr. Arbuckle.” 

He didn’t say anything, he was studying her looks. He only nodded at her to respond.

Behind her happy expression, she was seconds away from telling him that he was with Mayzie and asking if he is dating other women when Buster finally chirped out, “Didn’t you work at the Café on Venice Beach?”

 Her hands stopped fidgeting, “Yes, I used to be chorus girl with Sally. Why did you ask?”

“I was there once around last year.”

She went wide-eyed, “You’re, kidding? How did I not notice?”

Buster admitted, “I was on the very back. I was good at blending.” He also recalled, “I think it was that jump rope sequence.” Gail remembered that one. The chorus girls were jumping rope for the act. She was considered lucky to not have fallen out of the stage.

He praised her, “I thought you did very well.”

She blushed hearing this, “Thanks. I currently work at Mack Sennett’s studio.” Buster asked, “Have you played lead roles?” She replied “No I just work on background roles. Sometimes as a bathing beauty.” 

“I think you deserved to be in the movies”

Gail was blessed hearing that, “Thank you again. Gail continued, “Oh, and I love Sherlock Jr. It’s such a great show. I saw it four times. My boyfriend didn't think it was that funny. Though the effects are amazing.” 

Buster seemed thrilled to hear that considering it didn't make much money as his latest film The Navigator did. As Gail attempted to talk more about the effects, a clunk came from behind her.

Gail turned and saw that Sally drank up the alcohol left behind on the table, and tipped the glass. She turned back to the stone face and said “I think I have to get her home soon.”

 He asked, “Is she your sister?”

She shook her head, “No, I just live with her and her aunt.”

He went puzzled, “Why here?”

Her eyes trailed off, “I don’t have an idea. Sally told me she wanted to take advantage of the growing real estate.”

Buster was close to chuckling, “No, no, I meant where are your folks?”

She sat straight as she told him, “They are in Nevada. They were nervous about me moving to Los Angeles after the scandal. I did so anyway and then sally took me in from that cheap unpleasant place.” she went, “Regardless, I thought it was a nice thing of you to check on Mr. Arbuckle.”

“Roscoe? Thanks. I owe everything to him.”

Sally whispered in her ear, “Has she told about me.” Gail didn’t know that her friend was so close to her that she frightened her. Buster stood up from his chair to get ready to leave “How about I escort you fellers through the passageway?”

Gail nodded at his gesture, “Sure just let me leave a tip first.” 

With Sally seemingly drunk, Gail has her hold her friend to keep her in place while Keaton led them back to the entrance where they saw that the man in overalls is now napping.  

After they reached the door, Gail turned to Buster saying, “Will I ever see you again, Buster?”

“As long as you catch me on Seven Chances,” he said. Gail giggled at his reply.

Her soft statement was, “Maybe I'll audition for your next movie. Goodbye now.” Keaton watched as they departed the Speakeasy.

As they got out of the alleyway Sally asked, “Well, did you find out anything about Keaton?”

Gail was raising her hand to attract a cab, “I can’t do it. I don’t care anymore. I know he is a very trustworthy friend.”

Sally went, “Okay if he is a cheat. He needs to stop that before he goes to hell.”

Gail was happy to chat with her favorite screen comedian but when she mentioned her boyfriend to Keaton she suspected that she might have struck his nerve. It is not clear that he showed it, but it is possible.

Soon, their ride home shows up and got on the passenger seat. As Sally leaned on her friend she commented, “Oh and you aren't kidding about the accent. Some night out huh?”

Note: that the film that Roscoe was talking about. it was the Iron Mule (1925). There is even an uncredited appearance from Buster Himself! Try to watch it!

also Gail couldn't hear Roscoe and Buster. that part is supposed to be POV for both Buster and Gail.

[revisionaryhistory]

Three Days ~ 5

Catch up here AO3

~*~Sebastian~*~

I make playlists for everything. I've talked several times about using music to get me into a character. I use music to regulate my mood too. I have ones for working out anger, songs to make me cry, things to meditate too, songs to help me sleep and give me good dreams, and good start to a morning songs. I'd be lying if I didn't admit that there's a sex playlist. There's really two. One is labeled romance though. Maybe it should be called “foreplay”. It's the glass of wine and quiet conversation playlist. The one called sex could also be rightfully called “fucking”. Every last one of those songs are for slamming balls deep into someone. That Puscifer song is on that playlist. I have a deserted island playlist too. That's where the question came from. I think you can learn a lot about people from what they choose to fill their brains with and why.

It would be an easy thing to reduce Emma's choices down to songs that make her feel. What I got from her list is she likes words. She gave me a line from every song she picked. She didn't even have to stop to think. The words just rolled off her tongue like they were waiting to be said. Again, it would be reductive to think that's all there is, but I bet words are what hook her. She listens.  Most of my choices were tied to an activity. Air guitar, dancing, working out, sex. I watch. I notice how things happen. Process is more important to me. That's how I get into a character, the feel of things. Mannerisms. How they walk. How they talk. How they do things. Current example ~ I remember Emma asked if she could help me find the chocolate chips, but not the exact words. I can bring up the exact feel of her hand on my arm when she said it. When I put my hand on her back leaving her house I noticed she leaned back into the contact. Had she jumped, tensed, or leaned forward I would have know I was violating her personal space. But she didn't. She's given me her hand and didn't move away when I put my leg against hers while we ate. All of this is good because I just can't seem to not be touching her. I don't mean in a sexual way. I mean attraction. I like you and I want to feel your warmth. Accepting my hand on her back has absolutely nothing to do with accepting sex. Neither does kissing. Or touching. Hell, being naked in bed doesn't even equal consent for sex.

Wow, I've drifted way off topic. Maybe not. Back to the music thing. Her liking words and me liking activity. Neither is the superior way, just differences. I'm curious about books and movies, but another night. I have no doubts there will be other nights.

As planned, deserted island playlist propelled us into more music. Eventually we're rattling off songs and giving them thumbs up or thumbs down. It was really good. We laughed and told stories, sharing memories. She hit upon one of those songs that you think no one else ever heard of, but was really pretty popular. Usually it’s a breakup song that you get so lost in the rest of the world didn’t exist. This was one of those. I immediately threw up the thumbs down, then up, then down again.

She grimaced, “Break up song.”

She’d shared hers. I didn’t mind sharing mine, but this was my least favorite. “Sort of. It was later. I had a hard time getting over her. We’d been together awhile. Things were good until they weren’t. First she started saying she didn’t know who she was apart from me. Then it was she didn’t know what she wanted. Then it was she knew and it wasn’t me. I’d been doing the things she wanted, making changes, and it turned out she was making them up. I didn’t handle myself so well. I was hurt because I felt like she’d used my better qualities against me. She’d manipulated me into making changes, doing things, that meant nothing. It was like she was playing with me and she knew me well enough to know better. I really internalize that shit. In the end I’m the one who looked like the asshole. I wasn’t perfect, but I kept trying.” After dropping the lyric that had hooked me, I stopped for a second and focused on our hands. God, I was young back then. Both of us and we’d fought with secrets to hurt each other most. I just had more to work with. Emma’s nail tickling my palm brought my attention back to her and I smiled. “I was pretty pitiful for awhile. I couldn’t get past it, past her. That song got me in touch with how angry I was. Not just at her, but myself for getting so stuck in being victim and feeling guilty for mean things I’d said. So, I raged for a while. Took it out on my liver and my lungs . . . mostly. Then I was better.” The smirk on her face let me know she understood my particular healing methods. I wasn’t very original. Sometimes you have to get high, drunk, and fuck someone out of your system.

Emma excused herself to the bathroom. I leaned back and finished off my beer. I looked out at the dark water letting everything sink in. Not thinking, just letting the good time feel good. Even telling the ex story felt good. Well, her reaction to me getting a little lost in. Another round of beers showed up a little before Emma. As she sat down she knocked hers over.

She jumped out of the way as it poured onto the deck beside her, “Fuck!”

I grabbed the bottle before it could empty and Emma stemmed the flow with extra napkins. “Easy clean up with the deck.”

She laughed, but her cheeks were red. Our server showed up to take away the napkins, wipe up the remnants, and bring Emma another beer.  She shook her head, “I have an unfortunate habit of knocking over drinks. Even sober.”

“It’s good to have a hobby.” We laughed again and got back to talking.

I was so wrapped up in conversation I didn't notice a group of three guys approach our table. I jumped a little when one of them spoke. They had beers in hand and introduced themselves after one apologized for startling me. I wanted to tell them it was really uncool to interrupt my date. They seemed like the kind of guys who would understand. I stood up because I don't like talking up to people towering over me. Gives me a little more control over the situation too. Most people will read the social cue of me sitting down again as ending the conversation. They were nice enough and the short interaction ended with a picture so they could post “beers with The Winter Soldier” on Instagram.

Emma was smiling when I sat down, “Happen a lot?”

“Um, depends where I am. Sometimes one turns into many. Fingers crossed.” I patted my chest without pockets. “I don't have a pen.”

She chuckled, “I've always thought autographs were the excuse to approach someone when all someone really wants is a minute of your time. Or your phone number.”

There's my opening. “Can I have your phone?”

She gave me a strange look, but still pulled her phone out of her purse and unlocked it before handing it over. Luckily she's got an iPhone and I know how to navigate those. I get that people like the customization you can do on an Android, but for barely tech literate people like me I find comfort in the limitations of ways I can fuck up my iPhone. Also makes it easier when I'm trying to sneak my number in someone's phone. I'm not very sneaky. I put my number in her contacts, saved, and handed her phone back. “Now you don't have to ask.”

She was doing something and a second later my text notification went off. “You don't either.

I put in her name and was reaching for her hand when our server walked up, “I'm sorry, Mr. Stan, but we'll be closing soon.”  She laid the black folio containing our bill on the table.

What the hell? It couldn't be after eight o'clock. I glanced down at my phone. It's 2:45.  “Oh shit!” I showed the time to Emma who looked as shocked as I did. I looked up to our server. “I'm sorry. Shit. We've fucked you out of half a dozen table turnovers. I'll take care of you.”

“Don't worry about it. I'm glad you had a good night.”

I quickly pulled out my credit card and tucked it in the plastic sleeve. She walked off and I turned to Emma, “I'll be right back. Gonna get some cash for her tip.” Since Emma had worked in a restaurant I knew she'd understand. Even if they cashed her out they might withhold some of a tip to cover the card fees or make her wait for the full amount. I had some cash, but not enough to cover shorting her all the turnover while I sat my ass here talking. By the time I got back from the ATM she was back with the receipt. I asked her to wait while I quickly scribbled my name. I tucked the cash in the folio and handed it back to her. “Have a good night.” She thanked me and was off. I downed the rest of my beer and reached a hand out for Emma, “Ready to go?”

Emma took my hand. As we walked I twined my fingers with hers. I wanted to walk like this for hours. The simplicity of holding hands is something not be overlooked. Fingers laced, palms pressed together, and the necessity of walking a little bit closer. This feeling. The newness. The thrill. The anticipation. I love them all.

The sky lit up with a streak of lightning in the distance. I looked around, unsure of my bearings. “Is that coming or going?”

“We'll be driving toward it.”

The next flash was closer and the thunder rolled loud. Walking hand in hand by the river was out. “Better get you home.”

In the SUV I waited for my phone to hook into the entertainment center before handing it off to Emma with Spotify open. “Play me your five songs.”

After listening to her five songs I had her search for mine. She did like the Puscifer song. She thought it sounded like stripper music. She's not wrong.

I can not believe it's three in the morning. We talked for nine hours. This has to be the longest first date ever. Unless you count the one's that go overnight, but that's different. This is the longest date I've even been on that hasn't included sex. Or a two and a half hour movie. Nine hours sitting with one person talking about family, friends, and music. How in the fuck did we fill up nine hours? I don't feel like I've even scratched the surface of knowing her or showing her who I am. With the exception of a couple of times it was nine hours of nothing conversation. I don't mean that in a bad way. I'm not bothered. I'm amazed.

Now I'm faced with what next? Imminently, not existentially. Realistically most of my dates end up in bed. Usually I go out with someone I've met on set, an event, or a party. We've got on well enough to ask her out. We go to dinner, back to one of our places to get to know each other.  Conversation pauses, there's a kiss, and boom we're in bed. Sometimes there's not a real date before the sex. Hit it off when we meet and go home together. Nothing wrong there. Sex is what you do while you're getting to know each other.

Or what you do so you don't have to.

None of this means I don't want to go to bed with Emma. Not even close. How do you go from nine hours of talking with nothing more than holding hands to naked and sweaty? Well, I know how you get there, but I'm not sure I should. Even more amazing. I'm not sure I want to. Evans would give me such shit about what I'm thinking. It's been a sweet first date and maybe it's better to leave it that way. If sex is what you do to get to know someone, but we're doing fine doing, why not wait. Show a little restraint. I could ask her what she thinks. Nope. Awkward, presumptuous, and weird. Somebody once told me if you can't talk about sex you shouldn't be doing it. I thought it was bullshit. Now, I'm thinking they might have a point.

All this could change with a kiss. Just one kiss.

The storm was almost on us by the time we got to her place. I ran around to her side of the SUV and walked her to the door. Holding hands like two teenagers. I do not know what to do next. I'm anxious and afraid my hand is turning into a sweaty mess. She unlocked the door and I leaned against the wall. “I had a really good time tonight. I can't remember last time I talked so much. It was a lot fun. Thank you.”

“I had a great time too. Thank you for dinner.”

Emma turned back to face me and stepped closer. This is closer than we've been all night and I have never wanted to stay in a moment so much in my life.

I reached to put my hand on her face. Her eyes fluttered closed when my fingers skated across her cheek. I start to lean in, to close the distance. I closed my eyes. Suddenly a huge crack filled the air and both of us jumped. I yelled, “Fuck” and put my hand over my heart. It's beating out of my chest for more than one reason now.

Emma jumped too and we both started laughing.

The moment I wanted was gone. Dammit. I grabbed her into a hug, “Scared the fuck out of me.” Another crack of thunder and the rain started. I stepped back, “I'll give you a call tomorrow.”

The deluge started after I shut the SUV door. That's lucky. I guess mother nature didn't want me to kiss the girl tonight. No problem.

I'll probably get in the pool at mom's and wait for lightning to strike me.

**tell me something good, fun, full of anxiety.  This lock down is starting to bore me**

[paleorecipecookbook]

Paleo Travel Snacks: How to Eat Healthy While You’re On the Go

Many of us following a Paleo lifestyle slide into a comfortable eating routine. Maybe you have perfected your meal prepping. Maybe you have a reliable rotation of favorite recipes. Maybe you eat have your basic breakfast down to a tasty science, switching up the veggies and protein as desired. When you’re in your own element and have total control over your food supply, it’s easier to stay on track. But what happens when you take a road trip or travel for your job? Take it from me, you’ve got this! I travel extensively, from book tours and conferences to vacations, so I know what it’s like to face this challenge of staying committed to this way of eating. But it’s doable—and I’ve gathered the best tips and tricks for staying Paleo while traveling, all in one place.

It can be hard to eat healthy while traveling. But with a little planning and flexibility, it is possible to stay Paleo on the road. Check out this article for my tips and recommendations on the best Paleo travel snacks. #paleo #healthylifestyle #chriskresser

Five Tips for Packing Paleo Travel Snacks

As you’re packing that suitcase, leave plenty of space for the snacks. Bringing your own food gives you the best control over the situation, so that you won’t find yourself hungry and cranky, tempted by a bright drive-through sign five hours into a long road trip.

1. If Possible, Bring a Cooler

Logistically, it’s definitely easier to pack a cooler for a road trip than for air travel, but however you’re hitting the road, being able to bring one will expand your eating options considerably. If you can bring a light-weight cooler—which you certainly can do if you’re traveling by car (or bus or train), there are loads of food possibilities:

Hard or soft-boiled eggs, perfect with cherry tomatoes and avocado

Thinly sliced leftover meats to pair with Paleo mustard or mayo

Lettuce wraps with leftover meats and veggies

Pumpkin hummus*

Full-fat yogurt or kefir (though not technically Paleo, some people tolerate dairy and incorporate it into their “Paleo template”)*

Cheese from grass-fed cows’ milk

Paleo “granola bars”

Raw veggies or fruit, like carrots, sugar snap peas, sliced bell peppers, and apples

“Dump ranch” dressing to dip veggies in*

Nut butters for dipping fruits (macadamia, almond, and hazelnut butters are best)*

Baba ganoush, but if you’re on the autoimmune protocol, you’ll want to skip this one because eggplant is a nightshade*

Fruit smoothie, with coconut milk, almond milk, yogurt, or kefir as a base*

A note on the foods starred with an asterisk: If you’re bringing these liquid or liquid-like foods through airport security, they will have to meet national Transportation Security Administration (TSA) restrictions—that means packed in clear containers and in amounts that are 3.4 ounces or less. (Check with your carrier for the latest TSA guidelines.) On top of that, bringing melting ice and cool packs can get a little tricky with the TSA.

Here is one workaround: Don’t use cool packs. Instead, use a freezer-grade resealable bag with ice to keep your food cool when you leave home, and bring some extra bags. Throw out the bag of ice at security, and then replenish the ice in a new bag at a food vendor in the airport. Most vendors will charge you for cups of ice, but it’s definitely worth it because you’ll have a cooler-full of Paleo snacks to satisfy your hunger. (And it’s worth pointing out that if you’re checking your bag, you can pack extra items that don’t require refrigeration, and just bring enough on the plane to get you through your flight!)

2. Try Paleo-Friendly Packaged Food

In general, I try to avoid packaged foods, which likely contain industrial seed oils, added sugars, excess sodium, preservatives, artificial colors, and other questionable ingredients. But, traveling can be an exception to this rule. I would rather have high-quality beef jerky and some dry-roasted nuts on hand than be forced to choose between fast-food restaurants after not eating for 12 hours. The key here is high quality. Learn how to read a nutrition label and ingredients list.

Sneaky names for gluten, sugar, soy, and more are hidden in ingredient lists. Don’t ever assume you’re in the clear with packaged food without first reading the label. I’ve seen added sugars lurking in places you’d never expect, like in canned kidney beans and feta cheese!

Some of my favorite packaged Paleo travel snacks include:

Grass-fed beef jerky

Prepared meats like salami, pepperoni, and coppa

Organic lunch meats, served with mustard

Smoked salmon (make sure it’s soy free)

Nuts and seeds (dry roasted or raw are best, as most manufacturers roast in industrial seed oils)

Olives to eat with nuts, cheese, meats, and pickles (watch out for artificial colorings)

Canned salmon or tuna (packed in water or oil)

Nori chips or sheets

Pork rinds

Siete “tortilla chips” made with cassava flour

Kale chips

Individual containers of plain yogurt, kefir, or nut milks

Freeze-dried fruit

90 percent cocoa dark chocolate

Coconut flakes (these are surprisingly satisfying and filling)

Energy bars are often considered Paleo because they only contain “Paleo” ingredients like dates, cashews, and egg whites, but I would only buy these in a pinch. This type of calorie-dense, semi-processed treat walks a fine line between real food and a dessert.

3. Go Plastic Free

Don’t put your grass-fed beef taco lettuce wraps into plastic storage containers! Plastics are among the worst environmental toxins. Even BPA-free plastics have been shown to disrupt the endocrine system. (1) Ditching the plastic wrap, bags, and containers also cuts back on waste.

My favorite containers for packing food to go are stainless steel LunchBots. Also check out reusable beeswax wrap, glass mason jars of all sizes, and Pyrex glass containers with lids.

4. Fuel Up before You Hit the Road (or Consider Fasting)

I deliberately eat a big meal at home before leaving for a trip. If the trip is half a day or less, this is often enough to tide me over until I reach my destination.

As an alternative to eating before you leave (or if you didn’t have time to prep any snacks), don’t be afraid to fast! Occasional fasting was common for our Paleo ancestors, and regular intermittent fasting has been linked to many health benefits, including weight loss and improved cardiac health. (2, 3, 4)

5. Shop Smart and Get Creative

Even if you’ve packed snacks and have a good meal before leaving, eating on the road is inevitable, especially for longer trips. Typical rest stops, gas stations, or convenience stores generally don’t have much to offer, but some might sell hard-boiled eggs, cheese sticks, or roasted nuts. Thanks to smartphones and GPS, it’s easy to search for other food options beyond the fast-food places that populate most interstate exits. But instead of searching for “restaurants near me,” type in “grocery store.”

It’s not even a contest—if a grocery store is near the exit, you’re much better off shopping there than at any fast-food chain. As a bonus, you’ll get in some light exercise walking around the store.

Not every exit will have a Whole Foods, but even an average grocery store will have some reasonable options, including the Paleo-friendly packaged foods I listed above. If you’re unable to find those, or you’re looking for something different, try one of these creative meals instead:

A rotisserie chicken (remove the skin since the seasoning may contain sugar)

A shrimp cocktail ring (just skip the cocktail sauce)

A raw vegetable or fruit platter (these can be pricey, but items are conveniently already washed and sliced)

Pre-washed sugar snap peas, green beans, or other veggies

Salad bar items that are Paleo friendly, including grilled chicken, veggies, and olives

How Eat Paleo in a New Place

When you’re away from home, don’t expect to wander into the nearest food establishment and find grass-fed steak and organic, locally grown grilled vegetables on the menu. When eating Paleo in a new place, planning is the key to success.

First, whenever possible, I book a hotel with a kitchen or at least a kitchenette in the room. That way, I can brew my own tea, keep my kombucha in the fridge, and save any delicious (but large-portioned) leftovers from a nice dinner.

Next, research nearby restaurants ahead of time. If I’m heading to a book signing in a new city, I always get great recommendations from social media. Or try searching for keywords like these:

Local

Foodie

Gluten-free

Grass-fed

Organic

Pasture-raised

For a group dinner, take the initiative and suggest a restaurant from your research. If you can’t choose the restaurant, visit the menu online and call the restaurant to inquire about special accommodations. If the menu is severely limited, eat a healthy snack before you go.

Here are some other tips for navigating a restaurant while staying Paleo:

Opt for grilled, steamed, or roasted meat, steamed or baked veggies, and a simple starch like potatoes or white rice.

Avoid sauces, which usually contain sugar, gluten, and/or soy.

When ordering a salad, request dressing on the side to avoid industrial seed oils. Try asking for olive oil and vinegar instead.

If you’re gluten intolerant, always ask if a dish has gluten. Restaurants notoriously have sneaky gluten additives, in spice blends or as thickeners in sauces.

Don’t be afraid to be “that person” who asks the server a million questions. Maybe if more people kept requesting the same menu adjustments, restaurants would better accommodate Paleo customers.

Remember: You Can’t Control Everything

Obsessing over every morsel of food during a long trip can be downright exhausting. In fact, I don’t think it’s healthy to be so rigid that there isn’t any wiggle room to try the world’s best beer when you’re in Belgium or authentic, freshly made pasta if you’re in Italy. Likewise, when your flight gets delayed five hours, it might be better to buy a chef salad or have a burger without the bun than end up grumpy, “hangry,” or light-headed.

Live by the 80/20 rule—80 percent of the time, adhere to the ideal Paleo diet, but the other 20 percent of the time, loosen up and eat whatever you want (or, if you’re stranded while traveling and starving, whatever options you have on hand).

More Holistic Health Travel Tips

Eating nutrient-dense, whole foods is just one aspect of healthy living. Don’t ignore other aspects of health while traveling:

Find time to move around. Walk around the airport terminal, do chair squats on long flights, and try some jumping jacks at car rest stops. Taking a long morning walk in your new location will familiarize you with the area and is especially beneficial for your circadian rhythm if you’re traveling to a different time zone.

Stay hydrated. When flying, it’s recommended that you drink a cup of water for every hour in the air.

Make sleep a priority. It’s important to maintain the same healthy habits you follow at home. If you normally go to bed at a certain time, try to stick to your established routine as much as possible.

Meditate, practice mindfulness, and find time to relax.

Now I’d like to hear from you. Do you have any other tips on how to eat Paleo while traveling? What are your favorite Paleo travel snacks? Let us know in the comments!

The post Paleo Travel Snacks: How to Eat Healthy While You’re On the Go appeared first on Chris Kresser.

Source: http://chriskresser.com February 21, 2019 at 05:05PM

[pauldeckerus]

The Top 200 Things I’m Thankful For This Thanksgiving

Today is a big holiday in the US; it’s a day where we take time off to celebrate all the things we’re thankful for. We get together with family; over-eat a traditional Thanksgiving Day meal, and then we watch football until we pass out. It’s just about a perfect day.

I got up this morning feeling especially grateful for the many blessings I enjoy all year long, and I wanted to take a few minutes to share the things I’m thankful for this Thanksgiving Day. I believe counting your blessings is one of the best things a person can do (and that this list of 200 is only a start, is a real blessing to me for sure).

Here they are, (in no particular order):

I’m thankful….

1. that I got to marry the girl of my dreams (it’ll be 30-years this coming September)

2. for Keurig Coffee Makers

3. for little hole-in-the-wall restaurants

4. for having a big brother I could always look up to

5. that she said “yes!”

6. for the “Skip” button on YouTube ads 

7. when I hear the ringtone that lets me know my son is texting us

8. for Seinfeld reruns 

9. that I learned how to use Photoshop and Lightroom

10. for lazy Saturday mornings when we just chill

11. for Saturday College Football games and that our son chose a big football school (#rolltide!)

12. for Hulu and Netflix and Amazon Prime

13. for Maggie the Wonderdog

14. for how happy Maki the SuperDog makes my wife

15. for that first cup of coffee in the morning

16. that my wife got us a Latte maker

17. for big greasy double-cheeseburgers served in restaurants whose cleanliness is so suspect that my wife would never eat there.

18. for anytime I drive up to our house, and see our son’s truck sitting out front

19. that first morning hug from my wifey

20. that the Buc’s miserable season is mercifully almost over

21. that this year the Patriot’s aren’t as good as they usually are

22. for any chilly day here in Florida

23. for my daughter’s wonderful sense of humor

24. when my daughter shares her drawings with me

25. for CoffeeMate individual creamers

26. that my son was born with the built-in love of helping and looking out for other people

27. for the text my son just sent us as I’m writing this that brought tears to my eyes 

28. for my daughter’s laugh

29. for all the family traditions that my wife fosters and we all lover

30. that our kids get to attend great schools

31. for Dunkin Donut’s drive-thru in the morning, and that they’ll make your coffee just the way you like it

32. for Terry White

33. for the kind people who read my blog each day

34. for all the little things

35. for our cozy couch for watching TV

36. for Logic Pro X (the wonderful recording studio software on my Mac)

37. for Pizza, and the fine people who deliver them. 

38. for mornings where Maggie doesn’t bark at other children and parents in the car line

39. that my son is such a faithful person by nature

40. for Sunday night’s texting my buddy Jeff Revell as we watch ‘The Walking Dead’ together, while 1,000 miles apart

41. for our tradition of watching “Love Actually” again every Christmas

42. for living so close to Disney World

43. for how awesome my wife is at planning trips

44. for being married to such an amazing cook

45. for a really comfy bed pillow

46. for Rick and Susan Sammon

47. for all my guitars

48. for beautiful offices for us to work in each day

49. to have Jessica, Kim and Cindy work on my books

50. that people actually buy my books, which lets me keep writing them

51. for the smell of my wife’s cooking when I walk in the door

52. for times when just my daughter and I get to go out to lunch

53. for Moose and Sharon

54. for Dave, Peter, and Glyn 

55. for having such a wonderful mother and father growing up. 

56. for being able to play musical instruments

57. for having mentors whose wisdom and whip-cracking have helped immeasurably throughout my life

58. for Jeanne Jilleba who helps me so much each day

59. for having a great relationship with my mother and father-in-law

60. for having a mother-in-law who stepped in for my own mother when she passed away

61. for the trips my brother and I take together once a year

62. to Delta, their SkyClub, and all the upgrades I get each year

63. to Erik Kuna for being my friend

64. for all the folks who come out to my seminars each year.

65. that I still get to work with my friend Ted Waitt

66. for Levi, and Sally and Dianne for caring so much about our members

67. for Chris, Susie, Karen and Pam – I’m lucky to work with them

68. for my wife’s beautiful smile

69. for how my son always shares new songs he finds with me

70. for all the times my wife texts me a heart emoji

71. for somebody’s else’s fries

72. for how my friend Dave Clayton’s texts always make me laugh out loud

73. that my kids know they are loved completely and unconditionally 

74. for my Pastor and friend Douglas Poole

75. for Victoria’s sweet texts, and for what a joy she is

76. that I get to drive a car each day that makes driving a joy

77. for really good air conditioning

78. that I get to use such great camera and lighting gear

79. for Google’s news app on my phone

80. for my great Web team; Adam, Aaron, Yo, and Curt 

81. for everybody who checked on my wifey when she got in an accident

82. for black t-shirts with logos on them

83. for Dave Black, Kristy Sherk, Lindsay Adler and Peter Hurley, 

84. for the beautiful baby grand piano Kalebra bought for my birthday 20+ years ago

85. that I’ve been able to be a part of the Photoshop World conference all these years

86. for when great ideas pop in my head, and for being able to move on when it turns out some of them aren’t as great as I thought

87. for all my friends who came to the rescue

88. for the pretty drive to work in the mornings

89. for Juan, Steve, Jason and Christina

90. that my daughter and our niece are such great friends

91. that my son loves so many different kinds of music (everything from classic rock to Sinatra to rap to metal)

92. for all the times my big brother helped me, and guided me, when I was growing up.

93. for my apple watch and all the reminders it gives me

94. for weekends and days off

95. for the smell of coffee brewing

96. for Margie, Angela, Jacque, John and Rachel

97. for Maxx Hammond for being such a great friend to my son all these years, and for being an important part of our family

98. for comfortable shoes

99. for having a friend like Manny

100. for loving every minute with my family

101. for the men and women of our military 

102. for Julie, Kleber, Heidi and Cheryl

103. for the little Blackstar tube amp sitting on my desk

104. anytime I get to go to New York City

105. for our dear friend and partner Jean A.

106. for James Taylor

107. for all the awesome texts I’m getting from friends today

108. that my daughter still cares that I bake my special “Christmas Cookies” each year when we put up the tree (and I’m grateful she thinks Pillsbury mean ‘special’).

109. my guardian angel 

110. for bagels with cream cheese

111. for Larry Tiefenbrunn

112. for first responders

113. that my camera bag has four wheels

114. for Viktor and Ron

115. for Larry Becker, Rob Sylvan, and Dave Williams

116. for my friends Chicky Nando, and Big Mike, and Cathy B, and Mimo

117. for all the stuff in Erik’s backpack (since he always has that thing I need that I forgot to bring)

118. for waking up feeling great in the morning!

119. for Joe and Annie

120. that our dog Maki has a best friend in our son’s dog Nami

121. for beautiful clouds when I’m shooting a sunrise

122. for a yummy breakfast after a sunrise shoot

123. for my wife’s homemade chocolate-chip pancakes

124. for the sound of my wife’s voice

125. for mornings when I get up early and get a bunch of stuff done and I look up and it’s only 8:15 am

126. for landings in London

127. the quiet time my wife and I share with our coffee in the mornings before the kids wake up

128. My MacBook Pro and how much easier it makes my business life each day

129. for forgiveness 

130. that I realize what a privileged, blessed life I lead, and to whom I owe the thanks

131. that I start each day getting centered reading the Bible and daily devotionals

132. for how my daughter is always dancing

133. for the night’s where our family gets together to play games

134. for when we all lay on the floor, looking up and debate how tall the ceiling is in our living room

135. for our holiday trips to Disney’s Hollywood Studios

136. for cheese. Any kind of cheese. Even if it dispenses from a can

137. that somebody kept reading even though we’re down to number 137

138. that we have doggie treats when we really need them

139. for breakfasts at First Watch

140. for Carmine’s on W. 44th Street

141. for all the awesome instructors I get to work with

142. for empty middle seats

143. for my iPad and all the awesome apps, like the Kindle Reader

144. for the Texture app so I can read all my favorite magazines on my iPad

145. that I get to make new friends along the way

146. that people come to my workshops and I get to make new friends

147. for everyone who has stuck up for me in an online forum

148. for all the people who helped me along the way, and who may be gone, but are not forgotten

149. for the great companies and partners who sponsor The Grid

150. that I get to do a weekly live photography show and have such wonderful photographers as guests

151. for my Platypod Ultra

152. that my employees have a long weekend this weekend

153. for my lunch this week with an old friend

154. that we work so close to one of the best Cuban restaurants 

155. for Tara our awesome official Chilis server for over 10-years now

156. for how happy fresh flowers make my wife

157. to see how happy it makes Kalebra when we all eat our vegetables at dinner

158. for a beautiful yard for the doggos to run in. 

159. for Sundays when I sleep in really late

160. that my son left his awesome drum kit here so I can play it

161. that my old rock band from high-school still gets together to play our high-school reunion party

162. that I live in a very sunny place

163. for Google search

164. for every time my wife is cooking and says “I’m trying something different tonight.” It always leads to a delicious meal!

165. that I always remember our anniversary

166. that our family makes birthdays really special for each other

167. that we have a photographic art gallery and that we get to celebrate our member’s work there

168. that I have such a great art director for my shoots in Kalebra

169. for William C. Miller, my high school band director, who taught us more than music.

170. that I was born and raised here

171. for Deb, John, Bob, Sam, and all my friends in Boston

172. for the Sci-Fi Drive-In Theatre restaurant 

173. for Frank Doorhof

174. for all the summers in Sarasota at the beach when I was growing up

175. for getting to board early

176. for Larry Grace, Ed Buice, and Rob Foldy

177. for Superchargers

178. for when the dogs realize it was just a random sound and stop barking

179. for all the live concerts, Broadway shows, and performances I’ve experienced

180. for my wife’s guardian angel, who has been working overtime lately

181. for Zephyrhills bottled spring water

182. for the times my brother and I get to play golf

183. for the Genius Bar in the Apple Store 

184. for Chili’s chips and salsa

185. for now thoughtful my wife is

186. for afternoon’s at the movies

187. for the times when I could think of the perfect gift

188. for all the people who participate in my Worldwide Photo Walk and for the joy it brings me to see their smiling faces in their group shots

189. for everyone who has donated to the Springs of Hope Kenya orphanage

190. for all the wonderful gifts I treasure that Kalebra has gotten me over the years

191. for all my friends at Canon USA

192. for everybody who follows me on social media, and shares a kind word or says something nice about one of my images.

193. for every handmade birthday card my daughter has made for me

194. that my son is a way better version of me

195. for all the times when my wife knows exactly what to say and how to say it

196. that people are kind when they point out my typos on my blog

197. that I love to drive

198. that I still get to play with Scotty and Tony in a band. 

199. for how easy it was to come up with 200 things I’m grateful for

200. for God, and His Son Jesus Christ, for leading me to the woman of my dreams, for blessing us with such amazing children, for allowing me to make a living doing something I truly love, for always being there when I need Him, for blessing me with a wonderful, fulfilling, and happy life, and such a warm, loving family to share it with.

Here’s wishing you a Thanksgiving full of family, food, gratitude for our many blessings, and I hope your team wins this weekend unless you’re playing Alabama! #rolltide!

All my best, 

-Scott

The post The Top 200 Things I’m Thankful For This Thanksgiving appeared first on Scott Kelby's Photoshop Insider.

from Photography News https://scottkelby.com/the-top-200-things-im-thankful-for-this-thanksgiving/

[fanficsofmine]

Fight Club Chapter 6

You find yourself at a party one night, alone. You never would have guessed the adventure that it would take you on when you meet a handsome, silver-haired stranger.

Read Chapters 1, 2*, 3, 4, 5

Reader POV: I woke up with arms wrapped around me. I sighed deeply as I snuggled in a bit deeper into being held. The body pressed against mine provided a comforting presence. Last night had emotionally drained me. This, naturally, led to a physical exhaustion. 

I imagined the person behind me, and images of Chanyeol filled me mind. I was snapped awake quickly by the realization that I remembered that it was not him, but Yixing behind me. 

 I sat up quickly and rubbed my eyes to wake myself up a bit more. I looked out the window to see the sun shining through the window of my dorms. Yixing was stirring from my abrupt shift in position. He shook his head and squinted through lidded eyes. 

 "What time is it?" His voice was deeper and gravelly from sleep. It was impossible to not notice how different and innocent his demeanor was after waking up. He was a precious sight for sore, tired, stressed out eyes. Although his presence had provided comfort through the night, it was inappropriate. 

I was still, technically, "with" Chanyeol, and I was still obligated to confront Yixing on how he was involved with a fight Club. I turned to talk to him, but he held up his hand. 

 "Lets go eat. Breakfast. Then an explanation." I nodded in agreement, and shaking my head forced me to realize the severity of the hangover I was facing for the rest of my day. 

 I threw a hoodie and jeans on. My hair went up in a half bun. I took a make up remover wipe and wiped any remaining that didn't come off with my tears through the long, emotional night before. Normally, I would have edged closer toward the self conscious side being in Yixing's presence without make up on. Today, however, I was to sleepy and too drained to care as much. 

 We walked to the nearest IHOP a few blocks from campus. It was a silent walk. I assumed that both of us were working on recuperating and preparing ourselves for the heavy conversation pending.  

Yixing POV: I felt anxiety welling up in my chest. I was afraid. I knew I was, more than likely, going to lose her the same way Chanyeol was going to. I was genuinely surprised that she let me hold her last night. 

 God, I needed that, though. I know that it was fucked up. I had just had my childhood friend locked up in prison for the chance to have his girl in my arms for one night. The worst part was that it was worth it to me. 

I knew that Wolf would come out the second that he laid eyes on me when he got released. I knew that I was going to struggle to keep up with the rage that was building in his chest. I would try, but I would more than likely fail. 

 We settled into a booth and, still in silence, glanced over the menu. When the server asked what we would like to drink, I couldn't help but chuckle at her response of, "literally every drop of coffee and water you have in this restaurant." 

 The waiter smiled at her response, "rough night, huh?" He winked at her, and I felt a twinge of jealousy that felt similar to when I saw her with Chanyeol. She simply nodded and then looked away from him. I smirked slightly when I saw his face fall, realizing she would not be acknowledging him in the way that he would have liked. 

 "Breaking hearts everywhere you go. The waiter seemed to think you're as cute as I do." I don't know what enticed me to flirt with her. I knew that it was going to go nowhere. 

 She folded her arms on the table and rested her head on them. Face down, I heard her mumble, "him thinking I'm cute is literally the furthest thing on my 'list of things I care about,' today."

I sighed. I knew that, sooner rather than later, I was going to have to explain myself to her. I was dreading it. A heavy air hung over me. I decided to get it over with.

“It isn’t as bad as you think that it is,” I started. I waited for any type of reaction from her. She kept her head rested on her arms. She waved her hand in a circle to encourage me to continue to talk. I sighed. It was becoming increasingly difficult to spit the words out. I knew that I was not going to leave this restaurant until I had told her all of it, yet, that was almost initiative enough to not say a word. She lifted her head and stared at me when I had taken too long of a pause. 

“Okay, okay. I’m going.” I ran my fingers through my hair and then covered my face. The waiter walked up and set our coffees and waters down. I heard her thank him. I uncovered my face to order food. I watched her stir her coffee. I fiddled with my mug. I felt the hesitation taking over again, so I forced myself to just start talking. “I’ve known Chanyeol since we were small kids. He’s consistently been good to me, despite how shitty I have been to him. I’m not sure why. Even when we were little, I would bully him, but he has a good heart. I think he knew I was troubled from the start, and he knew that everyone needed a friend. I got very protective of him, kind of in a brotherly way. Y’know, like, ‘I can be an ass to you, but nobody else better fuck with you,’ kind of way.

“We have been roommates the past couple years, since we started school. We used to have screaming matches over stupid roommate shit, but nothing ever got solved. 

“One day, I guess Yeol got fed up and he swung at me,” I chuckled remembering how caught off guard I was, “ He clocked me straight in the jaw. We had it out after that. Full blown fist fight. Afterward, while we were cleaning our wounds, we realized how much better we felt. Our friends came over a few days later. They questioned us about our bruises and we explained what had happened. It was actually Sehun that joked about how he wished he could hit people to feel better sometimes. It sparked the idea in my mind, and so we started planning it out.”

I paused, waiting to see if she would respond. She didn’t. She was simply stirring her coffee continuously with a spoon. Occasionally, it would hit the edge of the mug with a light, “tink” sound. I suddenly became aware of the awkward air with no words filling it.

“It was only supposed to be a one night thing, but so many people showed up. It turned into weekly trainings and we all got to let out so much aggression. We even noted that we started doing better in our classes because we weren’t holding onto as much frustration.

“Naturally, the cops got called quite a few times. Our neighbors actually moved because they got tired of watching battered people leave our house.”

She scoffed and shook her head. At least it was some type of reaction, I supposed.

I stopped talking to let the waiter put our food on the table. She smiled softly at him and thanked him. He simply nodded, and gave me a once over. I’m sure he was attempting to assess if I was her boyfriend and if this was a break up conversation. I’m sure, from the outside, it appeared that way. A beautiful girl scowling at a guy sitting across from her. I thanked him for my food and maintained a dominant eye contact until he walked away.

“So,” she finally spoke for the first time in a while. It was a relief to hear her voice instead of mine, “why lie about it? Why would he not just tell me this was what was going on?”

My heart sunk realizing her focus was still set on Chanyeol. 

I leaned back in the booth. I poked at my pancakes with a fork, but I honestly had no appetite. 

“Would you have stayed around if you had known? For either of us?” I realized that the second part of my sentence caught her off guard and I elaborated with, “I mean would you have continued to be my friend and spoken to me in class?”

She glanced down and took a bite of her eggs. She shrugged.

“I don’t know, I guess,” she set her fork down, and continued, “I’m more upset about the fact that I was lied to, maybe? I don’t know. Ugh.” I saw the inner turmoil rolling around in her brain.

“I may not have stuck around, but god dammit, at least it would have been the truth that pushed me away. I don’t know that I can trust either of you anymore. You knew. That day at the coffee shop that we were studying. You knew and still played along. You encouraged him to lie to me, and you lied straight to my face too.”

I did not like her being upset with me. I tossed my fork down. I could not even entertain the idea of eating anymore. I felt an enormous pit in my stomach. 

“Don’t hold this against Chanyeol too harshly,” I felt my throat tighten at what I was about to say, “it was mostly me. He was going to back out of the fight to not have to lie to you. I wouldn’t let him...” I trailed off. Although I was being honest, I couldn’t let her know that I had used her as a bargaining chip. I also was not one hundred percent sure as to why I was defending Chanyeol. I should have been dragging him down and building myself up. Fuck friendship. It was making me soft.

She shook her head, “he still lied to me, Yixing. You and I weren’t romantically involved. It’s one thing for you to not say anything, I guess. But I opened up to Chanyeol- in so many ways.”

I broke eye contact with her and took a sip of my coffee. The idea of Chanyeol making love to the body that I held so tightly last night struck a nerve, although I know that it had no right to.

“I just, I don’t know, Yixing,” she huffed.

“I know that it’s going to take some time to process. Just, remember where your heart started.” I wanted it to be with me. I wanted her to go back to before she knew Chanyeol, when she twirled her hair and smiled at me. That’s what I hoped she picked up from, “where your heart started.”

I knew better though.

I insisted that she let me pay for the breakfast that neither of us ate. 

As we walked back to the dorms again, I glanced over at her a few times. Her hands were tucked into her hoodie pocket. The breeze fluttered a few strands of hair across her face. My fingers started to move toward her to brush them away, but I stopped myself. I tucked my hands in my jeans pockets. Her body language screamed to leave her alone, and I had no option but to obey.

At the dorm door, she thanked me for breakfast and an explanation. I wanted to hug her. 

Instead, I said, “I’m sorry,” in a whisper. I hoped for an, “it’s okay,” but instead, she simply shook her head and turned away. She hesitated before letting the door shut.

“Don’t ever lie to me again.” Her words were fierce. There was a fire behind her eyes. Anger. However, I took this as a sign that she would continue to give me a chance to repair what was broken. Hope flickered.

Chaneyol POV - I took full responsibility. I told the police that Junmyeon and Sehun were barely involved. This allowed them to be released quickly. They nodded at me on their individual ways out of the station. The holding cell was empty other than me at this point. I assumed that I would be transferred to another, more permanent cell soon.

I kept Yixing’s name out of my mouth. I wasn’t sure how he hadn’t ended up here, and I don’t know why I kept him clean. He deserved to be sitting next to me. The gambling, the betting, the fighting ring, all of which was completely illegal, he was involved in all of it. I let him walk. I assumed that he would go visit her. It had been close to 24 hours at this point, and all I could picture was him acting as his shoulder to cry on.

I hadn’t slept. 

I hadn’t eaten.

I was a disaster. I ached for her touch, her voice, even just to see her. How could one girl have such a heavy affect on me in such a short amount of time? I had never met anyone as gentle and compassionate and caring as her. Her laugh mimicked chimes and it flipped my heart. I wanted to brush her hair out of her eyes one more time; to gaze so deeply into them that everything else’s importance disappears.

The level of hurt that I had caused her was causing guilt to radiate from my bones. I couldn’t stop my leg from bouncing with nerves and frustration. 

Eventually, an officer came to my cell.

“Hey, jitters, c’mon,” he unlocked the door and threw it open. He gestured for me to get up and walk when I stayed sitting, confused. My eyebrows furrowed together and I tilted my head, looking like a lost puppy, I’m sure.

“You made bail. You gonna stay here instead though, because I can tell them never mind.” His tone was annoyed.

I jumped up and walked out. After retrieving my personal items, I stepped to the lobby of the police station to see who had paid a very large sum of money to get me out. I anticipated that maybe Sehun and Junmyeon had scraped together some cash since I had gotten them out of a more serious judgment. 

My heart skipped a beat when I saw her standing there, waiting for me.

i couldn’t help but smile, but it faltered quickly. She was not happy to see me. She had a rage sitting in her features, her beautiful features. 

“We need to talk,” she said sternly, and turned and walked out without another word.

I followed. I was ecstatic to see her, but something settled in my gut that told me that this was not going to go the way I would like it to.

[ebenpink]

Paleo Travel Snacks: How to Eat Healthy While You’re On the Go https://ift.tt/2ItT1iv

Many of us following a Paleo lifestyle slide into a comfortable eating routine. Maybe you have perfected your meal prepping. Maybe you have a reliable rotation of favorite recipes. Maybe you eat have your basic breakfast down to a tasty science, switching up the veggies and protein as desired. When you’re in your own element and have total control over your food supply, it’s easier to stay on track. But what happens when you take a road trip or travel for your job? Take it from me, you’ve got this! I travel extensively, from book tours and conferences to vacations, so I know what it’s like to face this challenge of staying committed to this way of eating. But it’s doable—and I’ve gathered the best tips and tricks for staying Paleo while traveling, all in one place.

It can be hard to eat healthy while traveling. But with a little planning and flexibility, it is possible to stay Paleo on the road. Check out this article for my tips and recommendations on the best Paleo travel snacks. #paleo #healthylifestyle #chriskresser

Five Tips for Packing Paleo Travel Snacks

As you’re packing that suitcase, leave plenty of space for the snacks. Bringing your own food gives you the best control over the situation, so that you won’t find yourself hungry and cranky, tempted by a bright drive-through sign five hours into a long road trip.

1. If Possible, Bring a Cooler

Logistically, it’s definitely easier to pack a cooler for a road trip than for air travel, but however you’re hitting the road, being able to bring one will expand your eating options considerably. If you can bring a light-weight cooler—which you certainly can do if you’re traveling by car (or bus or train), there are loads of food possibilities:

Hard or soft-boiled eggs, perfect with cherry tomatoes and avocado

Thinly sliced leftover meats to pair with Paleo mustard or mayo

Lettuce wraps with leftover meats and veggies

Pumpkin hummus*

Full-fat yogurt or kefir (though not technically Paleo, some people tolerate dairy and incorporate it into their “Paleo template”)*

Cheese from grass-fed cows’ milk

Paleo “granola bars”

Raw veggies or fruit, like carrots, sugar snap peas, sliced bell peppers, and apples

“Dump ranch” dressing to dip veggies in*

Nut butters for dipping fruits (macadamia, almond, and hazelnut butters are best)*

Baba ganoush, but if you’re on the autoimmune protocol, you’ll want to skip this one because eggplant is a nightshade*

Fruit smoothie, with coconut milk, almond milk, yogurt, or kefir as a base*

A note on the foods starred with an asterisk: If you’re bringing these liquid or liquid-like foods through airport security, they will have to meet national Transportation Security Administration (TSA) restrictions—that means packed in clear containers and in amounts that are 3.4 ounces or less. (Check with your carrier for the latest TSA guidelines.) On top of that, bringing melting ice and cool packs can get a little tricky with the TSA.

Here is one workaround: Don’t use cool packs. Instead, use a freezer-grade resealable bag with ice to keep your food cool when you leave home, and bring some extra bags. Throw out the bag of ice at security, and then replenish the ice in a new bag at a food vendor in the airport. Most vendors will charge you for cups of ice, but it’s definitely worth it because you’ll have a cooler-full of Paleo snacks to satisfy your hunger. (And it’s worth pointing out that if you’re checking your bag, you can pack extra items that don’t require refrigeration, and just bring enough on the plane to get you through your flight!)

2. Try Paleo-Friendly Packaged Food

In general, I try to avoid packaged foods, which likely contain industrial seed oils, added sugars, excess sodium, preservatives, artificial colors, and other questionable ingredients. But, traveling can be an exception to this rule. I would rather have high-quality beef jerky and some dry-roasted nuts on hand than be forced to choose between fast-food restaurants after not eating for 12 hours. The key here is high quality. Learn how to read a nutrition label and ingredients list.

Sneaky names for gluten, sugar, soy, and more are hidden in ingredient lists. Don’t ever assume you’re in the clear with packaged food without first reading the label. I’ve seen added sugars lurking in places you’d never expect, like in canned kidney beans and feta cheese!

Some of my favorite packaged Paleo travel snacks include:

Grass-fed beef jerky

Prepared meats like salami, pepperoni, and coppa

Organic lunch meats, served with mustard

Smoked salmon (make sure it’s soy free)

Nuts and seeds (dry roasted or raw are best, as most manufacturers roast in industrial seed oils)

Olives to eat with nuts, cheese, meats, and pickles (watch out for artificial colorings)

Canned salmon or tuna (packed in water or oil)

Nori chips or sheets

Pork rinds

Siete “tortilla chips” made with cassava flour

Kale chips

Individual containers of plain yogurt, kefir, or nut milks

Freeze-dried fruit

90 percent cocoa dark chocolate

Coconut flakes (these are surprisingly satisfying and filling)

Energy bars are often considered Paleo because they only contain “Paleo” ingredients like dates, cashews, and egg whites, but I would only buy these in a pinch. This type of calorie-dense, semi-processed treat walks a fine line between real food and a dessert.

3. Go Plastic Free

Don’t put your grass-fed beef taco lettuce wraps into plastic storage containers! Plastics are among the worst environmental toxins. Even BPA-free plastics have been shown to disrupt the endocrine system. (1) Ditching the plastic wrap, bags, and containers also cuts back on waste.

My favorite containers for packing food to go are stainless steel LunchBots. Also check out reusable beeswax wrap, glass mason jars of all sizes, and Pyrex glass containers with lids.

4. Fuel Up before You Hit the Road (or Consider Fasting)

I deliberately eat a big meal at home before leaving for a trip. If the trip is half a day or less, this is often enough to tide me over until I reach my destination.

As an alternative to eating before you leave (or if you didn’t have time to prep any snacks), don’t be afraid to fast! Occasional fasting was common for our Paleo ancestors, and regular intermittent fasting has been linked to many health benefits, including weight loss and improved cardiac health. (2, 3, 4)

5. Shop Smart and Get Creative

Even if you’ve packed snacks and have a good meal before leaving, eating on the road is inevitable, especially for longer trips. Typical rest stops, gas stations, or convenience stores generally don’t have much to offer, but some might sell hard-boiled eggs, cheese sticks, or roasted nuts. Thanks to smartphones and GPS, it’s easy to search for other food options beyond the fast-food places that populate most interstate exits. But instead of searching for “restaurants near me,” type in “grocery store.”

It’s not even a contest—if a grocery store is near the exit, you’re much better off shopping there than at any fast-food chain. As a bonus, you’ll get in some light exercise walking around the store.

Not every exit will have a Whole Foods, but even an average grocery store will have some reasonable options, including the Paleo-friendly packaged foods I listed above. If you’re unable to find those, or you’re looking for something different, try one of these creative meals instead:

A rotisserie chicken (remove the skin since the seasoning may contain sugar)

A shrimp cocktail ring (just skip the cocktail sauce)

A raw vegetable or fruit platter (these can be pricey, but items are conveniently already washed and sliced)

Pre-washed sugar snap peas, green beans, or other veggies

Salad bar items that are Paleo friendly, including grilled chicken, veggies, and olives

How Eat Paleo in a New Place

When you’re away from home, don’t expect to wander into the nearest food establishment and find grass-fed steak and organic, locally grown grilled vegetables on the menu. When eating Paleo in a new place, planning is the key to success.

First, whenever possible, I book a hotel with a kitchen or at least a kitchenette in the room. That way, I can brew my own tea, keep my kombucha in the fridge, and save any delicious (but large-portioned) leftovers from a nice dinner.

Next, research nearby restaurants ahead of time. If I’m heading to a book signing in a new city, I always get great recommendations from social media. Or try searching for keywords like these:

Local

Foodie

Gluten-free

Grass-fed

Organic

Pasture-raised

For a group dinner, take the initiative and suggest a restaurant from your research. If you can’t choose the restaurant, visit the menu online and call the restaurant to inquire about special accommodations. If the menu is severely limited, eat a healthy snack before you go.

Here are some other tips for navigating a restaurant while staying Paleo:

Opt for grilled, steamed, or roasted meat, steamed or baked veggies, and a simple starch like potatoes or white rice.

Avoid sauces, which usually contain sugar, gluten, and/or soy.

When ordering a salad, request dressing on the side to avoid industrial seed oils. Try asking for olive oil and vinegar instead.

If you’re gluten intolerant, always ask if a dish has gluten. Restaurants notoriously have sneaky gluten additives, in spice blends or as thickeners in sauces.

Don’t be afraid to be “that person” who asks the server a million questions. Maybe if more people kept requesting the same menu adjustments, restaurants would better accommodate Paleo customers.

Remember: You Can’t Control Everything

Obsessing over every morsel of food during a long trip can be downright exhausting. In fact, I don’t think it’s healthy to be so rigid that there isn’t any wiggle room to try the world’s best beer when you’re in Belgium or authentic, freshly made pasta if you’re in Italy. Likewise, when your flight gets delayed five hours, it might be better to buy a chef salad or have a burger without the bun than end up grumpy, “hangry,” or light-headed.

Live by the 80/20 rule—80 percent of the time, adhere to the ideal Paleo diet, but the other 20 percent of the time, loosen up and eat whatever you want (or, if you’re stranded while traveling and starving, whatever options you have on hand).

More Holistic Health Travel Tips

Eating nutrient-dense, whole foods is just one aspect of healthy living. Don’t ignore other aspects of health while traveling:

Find time to move around. Walk around the airport terminal, do chair squats on long flights, and try some jumping jacks at car rest stops. Taking a long morning walk in your new location will familiarize you with the area and is especially beneficial for your circadian rhythm if you’re traveling to a different time zone.

Stay hydrated. When flying, it’s recommended that you drink a cup of water for every hour in the air.

Make sleep a priority. It’s important to maintain the same healthy habits you follow at home. If you normally go to bed at a certain time, try to stick to your established routine as much as possible.

Meditate, practice mindfulness, and find time to relax.

Now I’d like to hear from you. Do you have any other tips on how to eat Paleo while traveling? What are your favorite Paleo travel snacks? Let us know in the comments!

The post Paleo Travel Snacks: How to Eat Healthy While You’re On the Go appeared first on Chris Kresser.

from Chris Kresser https://ift.tt/2U22Zsr via IFTTT https://ift.tt/2GVS6ER

[takemetoanotherworld]

I don’t want to be alone. pt4

I don’t want you to go, oh please, please... It’s been so long without you... Please, I don’t want you to go... Please! I don’t want to be alone! Please, stay!

“Fuck,” Harry breathes, sitting up quickly. “Just a dream.”

The boy gets out of bed, heading straight for the shower.  

“What the fuck, Harry... You’re fine.” He breathes out, pushing the water from his hair.

He finishes in the shower, pulling on a random t-shirt and jeans. He grabs a hoodie and pulls it on, grabbing his phone and shoes.

Incoming Call From Louis

“Heya, Harry! We’re outside.”

“Oh, oh haha. I’ll be down, one sec.”

Harry smiles, throwing his bag over his shoulder, running down the stairs

“Mum, Louis came to pick me up, bye, see you tonight.” Harry calls, laughing when his Mum grabs his face to place a kiss on his forehead.

“Love you, Harry.”

--------------

“Hey guys...” Harry smiles, slipping in the back seat next to Niall.

“Hi Harry! Good morning.” Niall says, nudging his shoulder. 

“Ready for our coffee run?” Louis laughs, pulling away from Harry’s house.

The boys fall into conversation, chatting about anything and everything.

“You guyssss, give me your orders!” Liam says, telling the server and then they pull up to pay.

“Harry, you sleep okay? You look loads less tired than yesterday.” Louis points out. 

“Yeah, I slept really well. Had a weird dream, though.” Harry replies, grabbing his coffee from Liam’s hands.

“Ah, yeah it happens.” Louis responds. “I hope you feel okay, though.”

“Thanks, Louis.” Harry says, smiling widely at the older boy.

“Alright, lads. Do you wanna head to the locker rooms to drop my field bag with me? Or, you could go ahead to homeroom?” Louis asked, and the boys all agreed to go with him.

“This school is actually huge, it’s insane.” Harry laughed, putting his hands into his pockets. 

“Is it? I guess you just get used to it.” Liam says, waving at a group of people. “Just my project group, they don’t actually do any work.”

“Haha, no wonder. You grouped with a bunch of thick headed twats.” Niall giggles, walking a little closer to Liam.

The bell rings, and the boys all head towards their homeroom.  

-----Time skip 7 weeks. Over the course of this time, Harry and the boys get super close, texting constantly in a group chat, hanging out during the entirety of their break hour, and driving to and from school every day together. Harry has opened up about his past some more, and feels extremely accepted by his new friend group. At the beginning, Harry had some moments in which he would get quiet, still not completely used to having people who actively wanted to listen to him, but that faded during this time, as well. Harry’s mum had seen a massive difference in her son’s happiness, making her heart swell. Everything is incredible, in all sense of the word.-----

“For fuck’s sake, Niall! Stop it!” Harry yells, shoving his friends arms away from him while giggling hysterically.

“Not my fault you’re so ticklish, ‘arry.” Niall jokes, sipping at his coffee.

“Hey, Liam. Is Lou still in the locker room?” Harry asks, noticing that they had begun walking towards their homeroom without one of the members.

“Yeah, he’s gotta put his new jersey on. First game of the season Friday, they have to hype it up a few days before.” Liam explains, looking down at his phone.

“It’s Wednesday though, why wouldn’t they wear stuff on Friday?” Niall chips in, leaning against the wall as they all wait for Louis.

“Well, I don’t really know. Their coach just told ‘em, and I passed it to you guys.” Liam finishes, rubbing his nose slightly.

“Are you guys going to go? I want to support Louis but I don’t really know anyone else...” Harry asks, biting at his thumb.  

“Awh, little Harry trying to pursue his crush, huh?” Niall teases, watching as Harry slaps his hands over his face. 

“Shut up, Ni. It’s not funny!” Harry whines, stomping his foot slightly. 

“I’m not wrong, am I?” Niall chuckles, grinning wildly.

“Wrong about what?” Louis asks, stepping out of the locker room.

Harry’s face flushes, and he quickly turns toward the main hall to avoid his red cheeks from being seen.

“We were just talking about Harry’s caffeine addiction, he tried to deny it but I hit him with hard facts.” Niall lies, winking at Harry.

Harry smiles somewhat gratefully, knowing that lying to his friend is wrong, but in the end it’s best for them both. Because, to put it simply, Louis probably didn’t think of Harry the same way.

“Anyway, Harry. We are going to the game, you can sit with us. Actually, you are going to sit with us.” Liam smiles.

They sit down in homeroom, talking about whatever came to their minds.

...And on Friday, our football team has their very first game of the season! Head down to the field at 7 pm to support our favorite boys!

“Oh, god. I don’t like hearing it being said out loud...” Louis grumbles, holding his head in his hands. 

“Awh, Lou...” Harry pouts, rubbing Louis’ shoulder. 

Louis leans into the touch, laughing at himself a little bit. Harry smiles, leaving his hand on Louis’ shoulder. Niall nudges Harry’s leg with his, leading Harry to snap his head up and pull his hand back to his own lap.

“Lou, do you still have those posters from last year?” Liam asks, wiggling his eyebrows at Harry and Niall.

“Oh, you kept them, I thought?” Louis questioned, picking his head up.

“Probably, I don’t really remember, though. We could make new ones, anyway, seeing as we have a new member in our group now.” Liam says, getting up when the bell rings.

“True. Still can’t believe you 2 have yet to miss one of my games, it’s been, what, 3 years?” Louis says, smiling widely.

“Yeah, you’re our best friend. And either way, we aren’t exactly the party type, so we have no reason to miss.” Niall says, earning a laugh from Liam.

“Not after Halloween in 9th, that was the last of our party reserves.” Liam giggles.

Louis, Liam, and Niall all bust out laughing, and Harry laughs at them laughing, although he has no clue as to what they are talking about.

“Anywayyyy, see you guys in break.” Louis says, walking into his class.

Niall turns left down the hall, waving back at Liam and Harry before walking into the next corridor.

“Harry, do you wanna ride home with me on Friday?” Liam asks, excitement evident in his voice.

“Yeah? But, like, why? I mean, I want to. Just curious, is all.” Harry says, holding the door for Liam.

“Well, I want to help you with Louis...” Liam wanders off, looking up at Harry from his eyelashes. 

“And...?” Harry adds.

“Well, like, I want to really make this a special night for you and him.”  Liam says, taking his seat next to Harry.

“Students, get with your lab partner and start immediately, we don’t have an extra day for this experiment.” The teacher yells, closing the door loudly.

“What do you mean ‘make it special’? Talk to meee.” Harry presses, pouring chemicals into beakers and writing down whatever notes he could. 

“Okay. So...” Liam laughs, looking up quickly when he sees their teacher walking towards their lab station.

“Boys. What did you notice about this reaction?”

“Oh, uh. It’s exothermic, because it’s producing heat. Uhm, and then based on the chemicals in the solutions... It’s uhm, Well, ionic bonds are being formed... I think...” Harry mumbles, his head down.

“Correct, Mr. Styles. You have a great understanding, I’m impressed.”

Harry just smiles shyly, writing down some more notes. Liam chuckles under his breath, waiting until the Professor went back to the front of the class.

“How do you know all that?” Liam asks, scribbling a picture of the reaction.

“I like chem, it’s fun I guess...” Harry says, looking over at his friend.

“Yeah, I like chem but in terms of people...” Liam winks, returning to the conversation they had to cut short. “Harry, I don’t know for sure, but I think that there’s something happening between you and Louis. I know your side of it, and I have a feeling about Lou. I mean, I’ve known him since we were 3, so I think my gut is right.”

“Are you sure? Liammmm...” Harry begs, watching as Liam smirks. “I don’t want to look like an idiot just for you to be wrong...”

“Harry, I know Louis. I’m not gonna say I know for sure, but I feel very strongly...” Liam explains. “Chill out, Har. I promise I’ll keep you updated about everything, buuuuuuut... I think that making a good show at his games might help me figure it out more?” 

Harry groans, trying to hide his smile. His stomach is rolling, and he stands up rather quickly at the bell.

“Okay, Harry? You’re staying for Lou’s practice tonight, right?” Liam asks, receiving a nod from the curly boy. “Right, we can chat more there, see you at lunch, Har.”

Harry walks down, going outside and around the commons. His phone buzzes, and he ignores it, just wanting to get to class.  As he walks in, he notices that they have a substitute teacher for the day, and there isn’t much work to be done on the board.

“Page 108? Didn’t we already do that...” Harry asks, looking around at his peers.

“Oh, well it was an extra credit assignment, I guess Bennett wants us all to attempt it.” Nick responds.

Harry just shrugs, making sure he had finished all of the work. Sure enough, he had.

2 Messages from Louis

you doin okay Harry? 

just seemed a bit quiet during homeroom

oh yeah just a bit tired is all

had to study loads last night

---

Harry walks into the cafeteria, sliding into his seat across from Niall.

“Hey guys. Classes okay today?” Harry asks, glancing at Liam.

“I swear to god, Prof. Bennett is my favorite teacher. Assigning extra credit when we’d have had to do it on top of other work.” Louis laughs, putting his phone down on the table.

“That was so good, I had already finished it. I got a free period today.” Harry says, unintentionally avoiding Louis’ eyes. 

“Harry impressed our chem prof, and NO ONE does that. This kid has quite a brain, huh?” Liam gushed, ignoring Harry rolling his eyes at that comment.

“I got detention, from LINDA. Surprised?” Niall says, tightening his jaw.

“For what? I swear she’s off her rocker, why does she continue to teach?” Louis asks, being followed by Harry and Liam nodding along.

“She said I was disrupting the class. Apparently asking questions is disruptive.” Niall laughs sarcastically, shrugging his shoulders. “If my parents ask, I filled in for varsity today.”

“Haha, good cover.” Liam laughs, tucking into his lunch.

----time skip----

“Okay, let’s go you 2, I can’t be late to practice!” Lou yells, grabbing his bags.

“Louuuiiiissssss...” Harry giggles, slinging his arm around the older boy’s shoulders.

Liam smiles widely, trying to cover his excitement. Louis laughs and looks at Harry confusedly, putting his arm around Harry’s waist.

“Harryyyy... what’s up, love?” Louis asks, staring at Harry.

Harry giggles again, laying his head on Louis’ shoulder for a moment. 

“The caffeine is wearing off and I’m feeling silly, Lou.” Harry says, grinning wildly. 

“Nicknames, now? That’s a step!” Louis jokes.

“Hey, you called me ‘love’. I can call you Lou if you can call me ‘loooooove’.” Harry teases.

“You two are too much, how cute.” Liam singsongs, winking at Harry.

Harry bites the inside of his cheek, giving Liam a mini death glare.

“Bye Lou! Have a good practice, we will be waiting for you.” Liam says, nudging Louis towards the field. 

Harry and Liam make their way to the top of the bleachers, their spot.

“Harry. Louis is INTO you. There’s no way!” Liam whisper-yells, covering his mouth. 

“Liam, no way. He’s being friendly!” Harry says, only to be pushed by Liam.

“You’re acting like an idiot, I’ve known him for years and I know there’s more than ‘friends’ type of feelings going on here.” Liam explains, shaking Harry’s knee.

Harry starts to smile, excitement building in his stomach. He looks at Liam, who just nods toward the field. Looking toward the field, he finds Louis starring at him. Harry squeals, hiding his face in his hands. 

“You are something else, Harry.” Liam laughs.

----

“Bye Harry, see you tomorrow morning!” Liam called, waving out of the window.

“Bye Li, Bye Lou.” Harry replies, glancing at Louis.

“Oi, got a new nickname for you. How’s Hazza?” Louis laughs, and Harry just shook his head.

“Okay, BooBear.” Harry giggles.

“LIAM! You told him?!” Louis roars, cheeks turning pink.

“Nonono, Niall told him.” Liam laughed.

“Bye guys, drive safe Lou. Text me when you’re home, you two.” Harry waves and walks inside.

-----

Incoming FaceTime

“Harry!”

“Liam! Help me find my outfit for Friday.”

“Oh, here we go. You’re in, then?”

“Hell yeah.”

The boys chat and go through Harry’s entire closet, eventually settling on his usual skinny jeans, matched with a white longsleeve v-neck and navy blue varsity jacket.

“Oh my god Harry, why don’t you wear that jacket more?”

“Because I feel like it’s, like, a lot for school? And hoodies are a lot warmer...” 

“Oh, Har. Okay, so after school Friday Louis has to go straight to the field to help set up and warm up and stuff, right? So Niall can give us a ride to yours, we can grab your clothes, and then head to mine. We can get ready there, and then head to the game after that?”

“Sounds great, Li. I’m excited... It’s weird though, like, what are we expecting to happen?”

“I think, well... If anything, you going to his first game makes a really good impression. And it’ll give you a chance to get close to him, do a little something special for him, right?”

“True. Liam, I really appreciate you. Like, you’ve been so nice to me...”

“Awh, Harry. You’re genuinely one of my best friends at this point, I love you, man.” 

“Haha, love you too, Li.”

“Okay, I need to go back to studying. Can you come over tomorrow night? Next step of the plan is making new posters to embarrass Lou with haha.”

“For sure! Niall will give us a ride?”

“Yeah, I’ll text you, bye Haz.”

“Bye, Liam.”

---next day after school (thursday)---

“Harry!” Louis yells, causing Harry to snap his head around.

“Lou, what’s up?” Harry says, walking up the the older boy.

“Are you and Liam not coming to practice today?” He asked, frowning slightly.

“Oh, no we aren’t. I’m going over to Liam’s right now, didn’t we tell you at lunch?” Harry explains, cocking his head to the side at Louis’ change in demeanor. 

“Oh, okay. That’s- Well, never mind. Just wondering.” Louis says quite shortly, biting at the inside of his cheek. 

Harry furrows his eyebrows, licking at his lips.

“I’m sorry, Lou... I have to go. Hug?” Harry pouts, unsure why today of all days he was asking for a hug from Louis. 

Louis always hugs Liam and Niall, but there was always hesitation between him and Harry in terms of affection, even just friendly affection, simply because Harry was new to the friend group. Louis just smiles weakly at Harry, grabbing his bag and heading the other direction.

“Lou?” Harry mumbles, frowning.

“Bye, Harry. Can’t be late to practice.” Louis responds, annoyance in his voice, continuing to walk without another look at Harry.

Harry walks out to his mum’s car, seriously confused by Louis. 

“Har? What’s wrong, my love?” Anne asks, placing her hand on his shoulder.

“I don’t know, I think Louis is mad at me. I can’t think of what for...” Harry whines, leaning his head on the window.

“Ah, well there must be a reason. Don’t get too upset, love. Maybe text him after his practice?” Anne offers, turning onto Liam’s street.

“Maybe. Thanks, mum. I love you. I’ll text you.” Harry says, stepping out of the car. 

He waves at his mum, walking up to Liam’s door.

“LIAM, HARRY’S HERE!” Niall yells, opening the door and rushing towards Harry.

Harry accepts the hug, laughing a bit. He walks inside, closing the door behind him.

“Liammmm!” Niall yells again, jaw dropping when Liam appears in the hallway with his arms full of craft supplies. 

“Let me help you, ya big dingo.” Niall laughs, grabbing some of the supplies from his friend’s arms.

“Hey, Harold.” Liam says, sitting down on the floor with Niall.

“Hi Li.” Harry replies, sitting down next to the boys. “I have a rant, boys.”

“Oh, spill Harry! Is it about Louis???” Liam asks, looking at Harry in anticipation.

“So, after school he ran up to me and was like ‘Oh, you and Li aren’t coming to practice?’ and I said I was coming to hang with you, Li, and he got really quiet and was just like, pushing me away. And I felt like, brave all randomly and I asked for a hug and he just walked away... I don’t know what I did, though? Like, we told him we weren’t going to be at his practice today, right?” Harry rambles, his hands on his cheeks.

“HE’S JEALOUS.” Niall scream-laughs, throwing himself onto the floor, laughing hysterically.

“Oh god, Har, you’ve got him gooood, huh?” Liam laughs.

“Guys, what?”

“Oh god, seriously, we NEED to use this! Liam, think of it.” Niall gasps, earning an eyeroll from Liam. “Li, imagine! Louis getting all possessive of the new kid. And then they’ll be all cutesy together, awhhh.” 

Harry ducks his head down, fiddling with his hands. 

“Niall, you’re crazy. No way are we going to push Louis to be so jealous! It’s not fair to him.” Harry finally says, grabbing a marker and a poster board.

“Okay, Harry. In my personal opinion, you should text him. Like, right now.” Liam says, gesturing to Harry’s phone on the floor between them.

“He’s at practice, though. And, like, what would I even say?” Harry mopes, writing ‘THE Tommo Tomlinson’ in blue. 

Liam just puts the phone in Harry’s hand, watching him expectantly.

Harry unlocks his phone, biting at his lips nervously.

Hey Lou, did I do something wrong? can we talk about it?

“That’s great, Haz. Now, let’s talk about these posters.”

---------

“Hey, Haz. I’m outside with Niall...” Liam says, hanging up abruptly.

Harry trudges down the stairs, putting his bag at the end of the stairs for when the boys stopped by after school.

The previous evening, Louis left Harry on read. Liam and Niall finished off the posters while Harry sulked, and they watched a stupid horror movie to raise his spirits before he went home. After Harry and Niall had left, the boys group chat lit up with a notification from Louis, saying, ‘sorry lads, can’t pick you up tomorrow morning. see you in class.’

All of the boys were beyond confused, because Louis was angry with them, incredibly jealous, and acting completely out of character. 

“Hey Ni, Liam...” Harry sighs, climbing into the back seat.

“Don’t sweat it, mate. It’ll all be fine, it’s Lou we are talking about.” Liam offers, smiling back at Harry.

“Yeah, kid can’t stay angry for too long.” Niall adds.

The car ride was silent, and when they stopped to get their coffees, they got one for Louis, trying to keep things somewhat the same. 

They walked to the locker room, but noticed Louis’ bag was already in there. Liam sighed, walking over to where Louis and Harry’s locker was. They stopped, seeing him there.

“Hey, Lou. Got your coffee for you!” Liam said cheerfully, watching as Louis looked up for a millisecond.

“Oh, give it to Harry, will ya? You’re his main priority, right?” Louis snaps, slamming his locker shut.

“Louis, wait up. What are you on about?” Liam asks, fully in shock by his outburst.

“Just a question: Harry, where are you going after school?” Louis asks, venom dripping from his voice.

“L-Liam’s? We are all goi-”

“Liam’s! There, that’s what I’m on about.” Louis shouts, storming down the hall.

“Shit.” Niall whispers, shaking his head. 

The boys all walk down the hall, going to their homeroom.

As they walk towards their usual seats, Louis shoves his headphones into his ears, completely ignoring the boys.

Harry’s eyes tear up, and he puts his head down on his desk. Niall pats his shoulder, wanting to comfort him but not make things worse with Louis.

“Louis, seriously just talk to us?” Niall asks, pulling a headphone out of Louis’ ear.

“Fuck off, Niall.” Louis snaps, getting up and moving to the back of the class.

Harry whimpers slightly, pulling his phone out.

Lou, please talk to us...

No, Harry.

Please, Lou. Me and Liam are just friends.

Right.

Louis...

read 9:18am

“He left me on fucking read.” Harry whines, pushing his phone towards Liam.

“He thinks you and I are a thing. What the actual hell?” Liam groans, watching Niall’s face as he reads the messages.

“This fucking twat, I want to hit him.” Niall growls, death glaring Louis from his seat. “I’ll be back.”

Niall stands up, sitting directly in front of Louis. They whisper to each other for a few mintues, with Louis looking angry at first, but then his eyes soften and he looks sad. Niall rolls his eyes as he walks back to the other boys, mumbling to himself.

“What’d you say, Ni?” Liam questions, nudging Harry so he will look up at the Irish.

“I just said that he’s letting his emotions make him act like a complete and other twat, and that he’s being a dumb ass altogether. I told him to look over at Harry, and he saw you were upset and he tried to say something but I didn’t want to hear it. So I left him there.” Niall says, still heated.

“Thanks, Niall.” Harry mumbles, putting his face back into his hands.

The boys all stay somewhat quiet throughout the rest of homeroom, Liam and Niall taking turns to death glare Louis.

-----

Lunch comes around, and Niall is surprised to see Louis at their usual table.

Harry walks in with his headphones in, blasting music to drown everyone out.

“Liam, has Harry talked to you since homeroom?” Niall whispers, earning a no from Liam. 

“He’s been listening to music all day and keeping his head in his textbooks.” Liam sighs, adding, “Exhibit A” when he notices Harry writing down notes from his chem textbook.

Louis huffs loudly, trying to get the boys’ attention. Liam and Niall just go back to chatting.

“Liam?” Louis tries, only to be met with Liam’s middle finger in his face.

“You can’t act like a twat all of yesterday afternoon, be a twat all of this school day, make Harry very upset, and just overall be a royal pain in the ass, and then expect us all to be chill with you, Louis.” Niall says sternly, keeping his eyes on the food in front of him.

“Haz, please eat something. You didn’t get breakfast... Coffee on an empty stomach makes you shaky, please?” Liam offers Harry a bag of crisps, frowning deeply at Harry shaking his head.

Liam offers them again, this time earning a very quiet, “no thanks” from the curly lad. Liam just leaves them in front of Harry, silently worrying.

“He hasn’t eaten today, Ni. He didn’t eat yesterday night either, did he?” Liam fusses, glancing at Harry.

Harry is completely lost in his thoughts, just writing down his notes and trying to connect the dots between what happened between him and Louis.

Why was Louis so jealous? Because Liam and Harry were friends?

Of course, when he finally feels so happy and has the best friends in the world for the very first time, somehow he messes it up.

“Li... I’m not sure I want to go out tonight...” Harry mumbles, causing all 3 boys to snap their heads up.

“Hey, hey! I’m sorry, Harry. Please don’t stay hom-”

“No, Louis. If I’m being honest, I don’t really feel like going, either. You’ve been so rude to Harry for whatever reason, I think it’s justified that he doesn’t want to go to your game.” Liam interrupts Louis with, adding, “And for me? I don’t think I want to sit in a bleacher with a sweaty, pissy Louis for an hour and a half while we watch the JV match.”

“I’m not pi-”

“Do you want us to start recording you when you act like how you’ve been acting?” Niall asks, effectively shutting up the Donny boy.

When the bell rings, they all walk to their class together. Louis takes a seat far away from them, mumbling “I’m really sorry” before avoiding their eyes for the remainder of the school day.

-----after school-----

Niall, Harry, and Liam all meet up at the end of the school day, each feeling really bad for how today ended up.

“I think we are allowed to be angry with him, right? He hurt us by acting the way he did...” Harry says, kneading his hands together.

“...but he is our friend, and I think we should still go to support him...” Liam adds, looking up at Niall.

“Yeah... How about we go to the game, and then after his match we can all go to mine and have like a sleepover kind of thing?” Niall offers, shrugging his shoulders. 

The boys nod, Harry quickly asking his mum for permission. She agrees, saying she will pack him an overnight bag so when they get to his house they’d be able to be on their way.

They all pile into Niall’s car, driving off of the school ground. The music was loud, and Harry started to feel a little better. They arrived at Harry’s house, and Harry ran up to grab his stuff and go.

“Hey, mum! Thanks for packing for me, I love you! I’ll call you tonight!” Harry shouts, grabbing his 2 bags and heading back out to Niall’s car.

--- at Niall’s house ---

Harry and the other 2 boys all get dressed, Liam constantly hyping Harry up.

“Harry, you okay?” Liam asks, watching as Harry looks in the mirror blankly.

“Yeah, just thinking about the whole thing.” Harry responds, throwing his phone on to Niall’s bed.

Harry walks over and flops down next to Liam, reaching to him with grabby hands.

“What, Harry? Need a Payno hug?” Liam laughs, pulling the curly boy up to hug him properly.

“You’re my best friend, I don’t deserve to be bullied for wanting a hug, bitch.” Harry says, pulling a valley girl accent. 

The boys all burst out laughing, their moods lightening up a bit more.

“Should we order a pizza? We’ve got like, 2 hours to kill.” Niall says, and they all agree.

For the next 2 hours, they hang out playing Fifa and eating loads, just generally having a good time.

---time skip to the game oooh---

“Okay, our usual spot?” Harry says, already walking up to the top of the bleachers.

Liam follows, along with Niall, and they settle in.

“Why are we here an hour before?” Harry questions, already knowing one of the others could explain.

“We’ve always done it, he usually runs up here as part of his warm up to see us.” Liam explains, pulling his jacket on.

As the sun was setting at this point, it was feeling a bit more chilly. 

“Do you think he’s noticed that we are here?” Harry asks, silently hoping he hasn’t. 

“Probably not, he would’ve yelled at us by now.” Niall laughs, looking a bit sad.

They fall into a silence, watching as people start making their way into the stadium.

“Oh look, here comes the 2 teams...” Liam trails, eyes immediately glued to Louis.

“I wish none of this happened. It’s my fault, and it’s affecting all of us, not just me.” Harry blurts, feeling shameful.

“Haz, no. It’s not your fault, he’s just stupid and doesn’t know how to express things sometimes, and I put myself into it.” Niall quickly says, followed by Liam agreeing.

“I put myself here too, Haz, don’t sweat it.” Liam said.

They all look out on to the field, watching as the teams warm up separately.

“Louis is struggling, he never misses these passes?” Niall mutters, holding his chin in his hand.

“Yeah...” Harry replies, clicking his tongue.

“It’ll be okay, he just needs to get into it. First game of the season, probably nervous...” Liam says, getting a little bit nervous.

The teams continue to warm up, and after a while the stands are absolutely full on both sides of the field. The principal comes out to the middle of the field with a microphone, beginning to address the audience.

“Hello, welcome to the first game of our season! We’d like to take the time to introduce each member of our VARSITY teams here at COL, and thank you for coming out! Alright! #1 Nick Grimshaw, #2...” He drones on and on, until finally, “our star player, #17 LOUIS TOMLINSON!”

Harry, Niall, and Liam can’t help but jump up and scream loudly.

Louis’ head snaps over to the stands, and his eyes go wide. He smiles brilliantly, laughing to himself.

Harry giggles, watching how Louis’ entire being completely switched along with his mood.

Liam and Niall sigh in relief, along with Harry, and they feel the air around them get lighter.

Louis’ team huddles, before breaking and making one run around the field. 

“This game is for you! I love you!” Louis yells, pointing at his 3 best friends.

“Go get ‘em, Lou!” Harry screams, smiling widely.

“Do this the Tommo way!” Niall cheers, watching as the 2 teams go on to the field.

Within the first 10 minutes, Louis has already scored a goal, and Harry, Niall and Liam were losing their voices at how much they were cheering for him.

“6-null, I’m fucking blown away. I knew he was good, but you can’t compare practice to the actual game!” Harry gasps, feeling his stomach flutter.

“Harry, you’re drooling.” Niall teases, causing Harry’s face to flush.

---last 3 minutes---

“COME ON LOUIS! COME ON!” Harry screams, the 3 boys all standing on their seats. 

People are tense, as the game comes to 10-9, COL is one point ahead.

“God damn it, how?!?” Niall roars, flipping off the ref as he puts a yellow card onto LOC’s #4. “This is bullshit. He literally didn’t touch anyone.”

“Chill, Niall. Louis’ got this.” Liam shushes, anxiously tapping his foot.

Louis closes in on the other team, his face drenched with sweat. He’s frustrated, the whole ‘being a dick to my best friends’ still weighing on him. He wants to win for them, at this point.

The other team calls time out, and Louis screams. Their coach just waves them off, knowing that they understand what they have to do. Louis gets down on the ground, doing push ups.

“What’s he doing?” Harry asks, giggling slightly.

“He does that to keep his blood pumping, nervous habit.” Niall says, getting up on his seat again. “LOC YOU KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS!” He yells.

“Oh god, hahaha...” Liam laughs, standing up with Niall. 

Harry gets up too, confused but wanting to participate. 

“I” “I” “I BELIEVE” “I BELIEVE” “I BELIEVE THAT”  “I BELIEVE THAT” “I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN”  “I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN” “I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN” “I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN”

Every LOC student and parent was stomping on the bleachers, cheering along a Niall called the chant. Harry started laughing, stomping as hard as he could.

Louis and the rest of the team clap, cheering in their huddle.

As the time out ends, the student section yells, “L-O-C WILL WIN” over and over. Louis walks out to mid-field, kissing his hand and pointing up at Harry, Niall, and Liam. They all yell in response.

The whistle blows, and the boys all start running for the ball, there are 50 seconds left, and Louis is at full speed. The other team makes it close to LOC’s goal, but Louis’ team blocks them off.

9 seconds.

Louis sprints toward the ball as his teammate passes it to him.

He starts his kick, follows through... GOAL.

The 3 boys go absolutely ballistic, jumping up and down and yelling for Louis. Louis runs around the field, smiling widely.

Liam rushes down the bleachers, followed by curly and the irish, and they sprint on to the field. Louis runs towards them, being engulfed by the three.

“I’m so sorry about the past 24 hours. I played that for you guys, thank you for coming.” Louis says, hugging them tightly.

“Oh, Lou. We are sorry, too.” Liam says, grabbing him by the shoulder and pulling him into a hug. 

Niall hugs Louis, too, apologizing for what he had said in anger.

Louis looks at Harry, and walks over to him, grabbing him tightly.  Harry smiles, wrapping his arms around Louis’ shoulders. 

“I’m sorry, Hazza. I’m a prick...” Louis whispers, nuzzling his nose into Harry’s neck.

“I’m sorry, too.” Harry mumbles, letting go of Louis.

Louis rolls his eyes, shushing him. Liam laughs, getting all excited again.

“First game won, looks like a great season again!” Liam cheers, leading to them all yelling and jumping around again.

“So, Lou... you up for a sleepover?” Niall says, wiggling his eyebrows.

“Hell yeah, let’s goooo.”

---Niall’s house it’s time for a sleepover---

“I’m ordering more food, Lou.” Niall yells, responding to a previous question.

“Oh okay, I’m fucking starved.” Louis moans, throwing himself onto the couch next to Harry.

“Oh HELL no, you’re sweaty. Go shower, nasty Donny.” Harry jokes, moving away from the older boy.

“Yeah, your stench is smelt from down here, too.” Liam laughs, waving in front of his nose.

“Oi, fuck you then. Ni, I’m using your shower.” Louis calls, flipping Harry and Liam off while he walks to the bathroom.

Harry laughs loudly, blushing slightly. 

“Okay, Haz. Game plan, when Lou comes back, you gotta get all cuddly with him.” Liam says flat out, raising his eyebrows at Harry.

“But why, Liam...” Harry whines, curling in on himself.

“Because. You do it with me AND Niall, why not Louis too...” Liam laughs.

Harry laughs a little bit, nodding. Liam cheers, and then Niall reenters with drinks for all of the boys.

Louis reenters about 20 minutes later, in that time the other boys got changed into comfy clothes, and the food had just gotten to the house. Harry was wearing sweats and a hoodie, his hair somehow more curly because of the wind at the game.

“CUDDLE BUDDY!” Harry yells, literally jumping into Louis’ arms, causing all 4 boys to start laughing.

“Hazza! Thank god I’m built, I could’ve dropped ya.” Louis teases, hugging the boy close to him.

Harry koalas to Louis, refusing to let go, making Louis laugh and walk over to the couch.

“Alright, down. Get off!!!” Louis laughs, pushing Harry on to the couch.

Harry pouts, settling into his seat. Liam passes him the take out, and they all start chatting about the game, and school, and just whatever they think of.

“Haz... can I ask you something?” Louis asks, turning to face Harry.

Harry curls into himself some more, nodding as he takes a bite of his food.

“Did I actually make you cry?”

Harry looks down, chewing. He doesn’t want to say yes, but he knows he needs to be honest.

“You did, but I’m just sensitive...” Harry finally mumbles, sipping at his water.

“Oh, Harry... C’mere.” Louis fusses, pulling on Harry’s leg.

Harry scoots toward Louis, keeping his head kind of low. Louis pulls him in, resting his head on top of Harry’s head. Harry nuzzles into the older’s chest, heart beating fast. Harry is incredibly aware of the feeling of Louis’ arms around his shoulders, the occasional bouts of increased pressure as Louis pulls him in tighter, the moving of the curls on top of his head as Louis’ breath hits them. Louis places a kiss on top of Harry’s curls, squeezing him one last time.

“I’m sorry, Hazza.” Louis pouts, looking down at Harry.

Harry just smiles at him, pulling away slightly. Louis tightens his grip on Harry’s waist as Harry tries to move away, leading Harry to bite at his lips to lessen the smile forming there.

“What movie first?” Liam asks, smirking at Harry.

Harry shrugs, laying his head on Louis’ shoulder. Louis traces shapes onto the upper part of Harry’s hip, making Harry giggle.

“What’s that for, love?” Louis asks quietly, pushing his nose into Harry’s curls.

“Tickles.” Harry murmurs, loving being so physically close to Louis.

Louis chuckles, the vibrations ringing in Harry’s ear. Liam looks back at Harry winking quickly before smiling and turning around.

“Get over here, Nialler. I need a cuddle.” Liam laughs.

“Oh, fine fine.” Niall huffs, scooting a tad bit closer to Liam.

Liam just throws his legs over Niall’s lap, laying his head back on the couch.

The credits roll on to the screen, and the boys all settle in to watch the first movie of the night.

---

[kf14wxbw-blog]

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[notsoaveragjoe]

#2 Bad Hair and Purple Tie-Dye Sweaters

Hello, Cruel World. Welcome to another late night from the mind of Joe. I feel as though I should start with an apology for not making my second post more than a week after my first. Then again, I promised you nothing. (MUHAHAHA) 

But seriously, it is my goal to try to get into a regular schedule posting on here in order to experience the freedom to write just for the love of it. As a musicology student currently working on the beginnings of a large research project looking on toward a graduate degree, I have done and plan to do a heck ton more academic writing. Just looking at the last semester alone I wrote hundreds (with an s) of pages of lit reviews, document-based research projects, conference papers, and much more. For the last three months I have not written much more than “2 Chicken & waffles-1 no sugar, Hot brown, + kids omelet” on my server pad in scribbled and illegible shorthand. Actually, who am I kidding, I know the menu well enough at my serving job back home that I haven’t written an order down in years. (Go check them out here. Great food, wonderful staff).

I digress..

Setting the Stage: Currently sitting in a dimly lit corner of my apartment, sipping a cup of tea and whiskey-- a bold choice. In the process of trying to not hear the passionate clamor of my roommate and his main girl during “euphemisms”.

During my homeward commute this afternoon, I was in a mood and took a detour to the supermarket where I subsequently purchased the following items:

Hair Texturizer

Dental floss

Bananas (Thanks Gwen)

Purple Tie-Dye Sweater.

Who You Are, Mannequin Pussy

As a black person, my whole life has been plagued by a complex relationship with my hair. Though of a complicated racial background and identity, one definable feature and large conundrum in my personal identity has been figuring out the best way to ‘keep’ my hair, maintain it, and style it in a way that is authentically me. Whoever the hell that is. Regardless, my hair has been a struggle to understand for as long as I can remember understanding things. Over the last year, I have began the process of growing my hair out. Though I have never had long hair before (or big hair... I guess?) I figured that the best way for me to understand what I want is to go from a large chunk of something, and then wittle it away until I find the “sculpture within”, sort of like this. 

After about the first six months, I realized that I was constantly irritated the coarse texture of my hair as it became increasingly difficult to wash, comb out, and style on a day to day basis. I did know that I would not be happy with a fully relaxed hairstyle, but I hope that my hair would be more manageable with texturizer treatments to slightly loosen the curls. Applying the treatment every few months to the new growth, as recommended by numerous hairstylists, I had begin to develop a slightly softer, but still curly hair texture.  

Between moving twice and adjusting to a new city while doing lots of new and exciting things, I had not had the time nor the patience to do one of these treatments on my hair for quite some time. That was, until tonight. This evening, I began the process as I usually do: I apply the texturizer to the most course parts of my hear, near the roots, and begin to go on to less coarse points of new growth. Once I had finished applying the stuff, one corner of my head began to BURN like none other. Though I had experienced this pain before, it had never been to this extreme extent. As I quickly applied the neutralizer and rinsed my hair as thoroughly as humanely possible, moaning in discomfort to match my the euphemism going on across the hall. Though my skin is a little tender, I now realize that the air in this city had non only been drying out my face, but my scalp was also as dry as a chip and beginning to crack. Upon this realization, I began to long to speak to someone about my experience, but on a greater level, it reminded me about how difficult my struggle with my hair has been.

Growing up, the culture to which I was accustomed incorporated going to a barber shop across town from my home to get my hair cut by a man named Sid or his son-in-law Rodney. Though it was a cool place, the only thing I learned there was to always get my hair cut really short, oil it occasionally, and comb it every day. Nearly every black man in my community kept their hair like this, so I thought it was the norm. I had always been raised to believe that guys with afros were either novelties or punks, and any other hairstyle was either dirty or unnatural for a man to have. On the other hand, my mother and sister either had their hair relaxed, or it was in a complex braid style that took them entire weekends to get put in. In any case, it wasn’t something that I was taught. 

Now, this is not a knock on my parents, who did their best to raise me with many privileges that they did not have. With them both working full-time careers my whole life, I am not angry with them for not taking the time to teach me about hair when they spent so many countless hours teaching me to read, write, and appreciate music. Still, it is wild to me that in order for me to get questions answered about my hair, I have always turned toward online forums and hair magazines to educate myself. It is also more astounding to me the sheer volume of hair care products, advice, and advertisements that are marketed toward white people. Even though there are black people literally everywhere, it is sad to see the inaccurate representation of people of color in this medium, as well as insufficient selections of hair-care products in most beauty supply aisles. 

Vegabond, Beirut 

As I feel a chill from the ceiling fan, I draw my hands into my newest oversized sweater. Then I remember I need to type.

In addition to the scalp burning hair texturizer, I also purchased dental floss (for obvious reasons) and four bananas (for the potassium... of course). Practicality aside, I now believe that the real reason my wayfaring soul drew me into the store was this sweater in particular. 

You see, for years I have lived in a world of toxic masculinity where it had been frowned upon to like anything ‘girly’ or ‘feminine’. Much of the dark parts of my life had previously been blocked out of my memory. Since beginning therapy, I have slowly began to have repressed memories return to me at the strangest of times, like a certain group rudely interrupted my internet browsing the other day. Upon seeing this purple tie-dye sweater in the store, my initial thought was “Thats pretty, but not my style”. Though a ‘correct’ statement, I remember how a drag queen had read me a few weeks ago, calling me a ‘heteroconforming, midwestern, plain-jane’. I can’t lie, she got me there. The majority of my wardrobe consists of dark earth-tones, some varieties of the color blue, and the occasional floral shirt for when I want to be ‘extra’. Oh, and black. Lots.Of.Concert.Black.

This dominoed into a number of thoughts reminding me of a statement one of my friends made, “For someone who LOVES the color purple, you don’t seem to ever express that love very much”, in response to a discussion about a mutual friend who loves the color green and rarely has the color too far away. 

Hello, this is therapy talking. OTHER PEOPLE’S OPINIONS OF YOU SHOULD NOT VALIDATE/INVALIDATE YOUR SELF WORTH. We’ll work on that next week...

When wandering the store, all of these thoughts went swirling around my head, much like the storm brewing outside. Upon further internal inquiries, I circled back to the mens clothing aisle to surprisingly see it was on sale, since it is July after all. The only sizes available were larger than my petite Sm-M that I usually wear, but I managed to find a medium size that fits as comfortably as an oversized sweater. Im sitting in bed right now swimming, but not drowning in thousands of threads of purple and white cotton. As I have always thought of myself as best in earth tones, wearing the color makes me both feel bright an happier, but also makes me look more pleasant in the mirror than I have in the past. Instead of hiding from the stereotypes of gay men, I think this is a better gateway into a life of being content liking what I like without further reasoning past I Just Like It. This impulse buy was likely one of the best purchasing decisions Ive made in a long while.

Fuck Toxic Masculinity,

~Mojo

[jesseneufeld]

Paleo Travel Snacks: How to Eat Healthy While You’re On the Go

Many of us following a Paleo lifestyle slide into a comfortable eating routine. Maybe you have perfected your meal prepping. Maybe you have a reliable rotation of favorite recipes. Maybe you eat have your basic breakfast down to a tasty science, switching up the veggies and protein as desired. When you’re in your own element and have total control over your food supply, it’s easier to stay on track. But what happens when you take a road trip or travel for your job? Take it from me, you’ve got this! I travel extensively, from book tours and conferences to vacations, so I know what it’s like to face this challenge of staying committed to this way of eating. But it’s doable—and I’ve gathered the best tips and tricks for staying Paleo while traveling, all in one place.

It can be hard to eat healthy while traveling. But with a little planning and flexibility, it is possible to stay Paleo on the road. Check out this article for my tips and recommendations on the best Paleo travel snacks. #paleo #healthylifestyle #chriskresser

Five Tips for Packing Paleo Travel Snacks

As you’re packing that suitcase, leave plenty of space for the snacks. Bringing your own food gives you the best control over the situation, so that you won’t find yourself hungry and cranky, tempted by a bright drive-through sign five hours into a long road trip.

1. If Possible, Bring a Cooler

Logistically, it’s definitely easier to pack a cooler for a road trip than for air travel, but however you’re hitting the road, being able to bring one will expand your eating options considerably. If you can bring a light-weight cooler—which you certainly can do if you’re traveling by car (or bus or train), there are loads of food possibilities:

Hard or soft-boiled eggs, perfect with cherry tomatoes and avocado

Thinly sliced leftover meats to pair with Paleo mustard or mayo

Lettuce wraps with leftover meats and veggies

Pumpkin hummus*

Full-fat yogurt or kefir (though not technically Paleo, some people tolerate dairy and incorporate it into their “Paleo template”)*

Cheese from grass-fed cows’ milk

Paleo “granola bars”

Raw veggies or fruit, like carrots, sugar snap peas, sliced bell peppers, and apples

“Dump ranch” dressing to dip veggies in*

Nut butters for dipping fruits (macadamia, almond, and hazelnut butters are best)*

Baba ganoush, but if you’re on the autoimmune protocol, you’ll want to skip this one because eggplant is a nightshade*

Fruit smoothie, with coconut milk, almond milk, yogurt, or kefir as a base*

A note on the foods starred with an asterisk: If you’re bringing these liquid or liquid-like foods through airport security, they will have to meet national Transportation Security Administration (TSA) restrictions—that means packed in clear containers and in amounts that are 3.4 ounces or less. (Check with your carrier for the latest TSA guidelines.) On top of that, bringing melting ice and cool packs can get a little tricky with the TSA.

Here is one workaround: Don’t use cool packs. Instead, use a freezer-grade resealable bag with ice to keep your food cool when you leave home, and bring some extra bags. Throw out the bag of ice at security, and then replenish the ice in a new bag at a food vendor in the airport. Most vendors will charge you for cups of ice, but it’s definitely worth it because you’ll have a cooler-full of Paleo snacks to satisfy your hunger. (And it’s worth pointing out that if you’re checking your bag, you can pack extra items that don’t require refrigeration, and just bring enough on the plane to get you through your flight!)

2. Try Paleo-Friendly Packaged Food

In general, I try to avoid packaged foods, which likely contain industrial seed oils, added sugars, excess sodium, preservatives, artificial colors, and other questionable ingredients. But, traveling can be an exception to this rule. I would rather have high-quality beef jerky and some dry-roasted nuts on hand than be forced to choose between fast-food restaurants after not eating for 12 hours. The key here is high quality. Learn how to read a nutrition label and ingredients list.

Sneaky names for gluten, sugar, soy, and more are hidden in ingredient lists. Don’t ever assume you’re in the clear with packaged food without first reading the label. I’ve seen added sugars lurking in places you’d never expect, like in canned kidney beans and feta cheese!

Some of my favorite packaged Paleo travel snacks include:

Grass-fed beef jerky

Prepared meats like salami, pepperoni, and coppa

Organic lunch meats, served with mustard

Smoked salmon (make sure it’s soy free)

Nuts and seeds (dry roasted or raw are best, as most manufacturers roast in industrial seed oils)

Olives to eat with nuts, cheese, meats, and pickles (watch out for artificial colorings)

Canned salmon or tuna (packed in water or oil)

Nori chips or sheets

Pork rinds

Siete “tortilla chips” made with cassava flour

Kale chips

Individual containers of plain yogurt, kefir, or nut milks

Freeze-dried fruit

90 percent cocoa dark chocolate

Coconut flakes (these are surprisingly satisfying and filling)

Energy bars are often considered Paleo because they only contain “Paleo” ingredients like dates, cashews, and egg whites, but I would only buy these in a pinch. This type of calorie-dense, semi-processed treat walks a fine line between real food and a dessert.

3. Go Plastic Free

Don’t put your grass-fed beef taco lettuce wraps into plastic storage containers! Plastics are among the worst environmental toxins. Even BPA-free plastics have been shown to disrupt the endocrine system. (1) Ditching the plastic wrap, bags, and containers also cuts back on waste.

My favorite containers for packing food to go are stainless steel LunchBots. Also check out reusable beeswax wrap, glass mason jars of all sizes, and Pyrex glass containers with lids.

4. Fuel Up before You Hit the Road (or Consider Fasting)

I deliberately eat a big meal at home before leaving for a trip. If the trip is half a day or less, this is often enough to tide me over until I reach my destination.

As an alternative to eating before you leave (or if you didn’t have time to prep any snacks), don’t be afraid to fast! Occasional fasting was common for our Paleo ancestors, and regular intermittent fasting has been linked to many health benefits, including weight loss and improved cardiac health. (2, 3, 4)

5. Shop Smart and Get Creative

Even if you’ve packed snacks and have a good meal before leaving, eating on the road is inevitable, especially for longer trips. Typical rest stops, gas stations, or convenience stores generally don’t have much to offer, but some might sell hard-boiled eggs, cheese sticks, or roasted nuts. Thanks to smartphones and GPS, it’s easy to search for other food options beyond the fast-food places that populate most interstate exits. But instead of searching for “restaurants near me,” type in “grocery store.”

It’s not even a contest—if a grocery store is near the exit, you’re much better off shopping there than at any fast-food chain. As a bonus, you’ll get in some light exercise walking around the store.

Not every exit will have a Whole Foods, but even an average grocery store will have some reasonable options, including the Paleo-friendly packaged foods I listed above. If you’re unable to find those, or you’re looking for something different, try one of these creative meals instead:

A rotisserie chicken (remove the skin since the seasoning may contain sugar)

A shrimp cocktail ring (just skip the cocktail sauce)

A raw vegetable or fruit platter (these can be pricey, but items are conveniently already washed and sliced)

Pre-washed sugar snap peas, green beans, or other veggies

Salad bar items that are Paleo friendly, including grilled chicken, veggies, and olives

How Eat Paleo in a New Place

When you’re away from home, don’t expect to wander into the nearest food establishment and find grass-fed steak and organic, locally grown grilled vegetables on the menu. When eating Paleo in a new place, planning is the key to success.

First, whenever possible, I book a hotel with a kitchen or at least a kitchenette in the room. That way, I can brew my own tea, keep my kombucha in the fridge, and save any delicious (but large-portioned) leftovers from a nice dinner.

Next, research nearby restaurants ahead of time. If I’m heading to a book signing in a new city, I always get great recommendations from social media. Or try searching for keywords like these:

Local

Foodie

Gluten-free

Grass-fed

Organic

Pasture-raised

For a group dinner, take the initiative and suggest a restaurant from your research. If you can’t choose the restaurant, visit the menu online and call the restaurant to inquire about special accommodations. If the menu is severely limited, eat a healthy snack before you go.

Here are some other tips for navigating a restaurant while staying Paleo:

Opt for grilled, steamed, or roasted meat, steamed or baked veggies, and a simple starch like potatoes or white rice.

Avoid sauces, which usually contain sugar, gluten, and/or soy.

When ordering a salad, request dressing on the side to avoid industrial seed oils. Try asking for olive oil and vinegar instead.

If you’re gluten intolerant, always ask if a dish has gluten. Restaurants notoriously have sneaky gluten additives, in spice blends or as thickeners in sauces.

Don’t be afraid to be “that person” who asks the server a million questions. Maybe if more people kept requesting the same menu adjustments, restaurants would better accommodate Paleo customers.

Remember: You Can’t Control Everything

Obsessing over every morsel of food during a long trip can be downright exhausting. In fact, I don’t think it’s healthy to be so rigid that there isn’t any wiggle room to try the world’s best beer when you’re in Belgium or authentic, freshly made pasta if you’re in Italy. Likewise, when your flight gets delayed five hours, it might be better to buy a chef salad or have a burger without the bun than end up grumpy, “hangry,” or light-headed.

Live by the 80/20 rule—80 percent of the time, adhere to the ideal Paleo diet, but the other 20 percent of the time, loosen up and eat whatever you want (or, if you’re stranded while traveling and starving, whatever options you have on hand).

More Holistic Health Travel Tips

Eating nutrient-dense, whole foods is just one aspect of healthy living. Don’t ignore other aspects of health while traveling:

Find time to move around. Walk around the airport terminal, do chair squats on long flights, and try some jumping jacks at car rest stops. Taking a long morning walk in your new location will familiarize you with the area and is especially beneficial for your circadian rhythm if you’re traveling to a different time zone.

Stay hydrated. When flying, it’s recommended that you drink a cup of water for every hour in the air.

Make sleep a priority. It’s important to maintain the same healthy habits you follow at home. If you normally go to bed at a certain time, try to stick to your established routine as much as possible.

Meditate, practice mindfulness, and find time to relax.

Now I’d like to hear from you. Do you have any other tips on how to eat Paleo while traveling? What are your favorite Paleo travel snacks? Let us know in the comments!

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