#because you know jamie would be very artistic

[fourmoony]

𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐛𝐨𝐲 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐛𝐚𝐝 𝐝𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐬

james potter x f!reader, modern college au, 1.3k

cw: smoking, past rejection, implied self-esteem issues

summary: reader isn't as subtle as she thinks about her crush on jamie

James is propped up against the hood of his car when you pull into the space next to his. He's talking to Sirius and Remus, who stand a few paces in front of James, both smoking a cigarette. Technically, they're not supposed to smoke on campus, but you doubt anyone would be stupid enough to mention that to Sirius Black and his infamously smart-mouthed boyfriend.

James turns his gaze to you as your engine cuts out, keys jangling in your hand and he lifts his hand in a wave. You wave back, half focussed on collecting the multitude of things on your passenger seat and stuffing them into your bag. The carrier bag in your footwell snags your attention, heart stammering a little with the reminder of what lies inside. It's cool. In your opinion, a very cool poster. One you know James has been looking for, for months. His favourite band.

But there's a voice in the back of your head, one born of being fourteen and asking a crush out, only to be told you'd gotten the wrong idea. A voice born of years of being lusted after, but not wanted. It's a voice that tells you James might assume you got this poster because you fancy him and find it weird.

And, sure. You might have went to the lengths of scrolling the internet for hours and paying extra for express shipping because you couldn't wait to see his smile when he unveiled it, to watch his eyes crinkle at the corners with excitement. There's something so overwhelmingly pretty and soft about James Potter. You've been living with that heavy admittance in your chest all semester and next week, your final term of sharing classes with James will end and you want him to remember you. You want to be able to say you tried.

But you don't want him to know all of that.

With a glance, you look back to James. He's waiting patiently for you, still talking to Sirius and Remus. The bag crinkles when you pick it up, the anxiety prickling over your skin like a heat rash. His friends offer you kind smiles when you exit the car, bag slung over your shoulder and the framed poster in hand. "Your engine doesn't sound great, love. You checked your oil recently?" Sirius asks, foregoing a proper greeting.

James laughs at the same time Remus rolls his eyes, akin to a love sick fool even when he's pretending not to be. "Ignore him," Remus drawls, flicking his cigarette to the ground, "He's decided he's going to be a mechanic."

In the year you've known Sirius Black, he's decided he's going to be an artist, then the lead singer of a band, then a lawyer, then a pilot, and now, he's going to be a mechanic. You hope, one day, that one might stick. Though, you've seen how much he loves his motorbike and would put money on the mechanic idea sticking around for a while longer than the time he wanted to buy a zoo.

"Oh, right. You can have a look if you like, but Jamie filled the oil last week." You tell Sirius, who scowls at his best friend.

James smiles kindly when you settle beside him against his car, leaning over to bump your shoulder with his bicep. His height difference is nothing, compared to Remus, but you still have to look up to meet his kind eyes. "Hi." He says.

"Hey."

Sirius scoffs, "Hi."

James pointedly ignores him, "What's in the bag?"

Your eyes nervously flick to Sirius and Remus, the former becoming incredibly interested in what's in the bag as well. Remus must sense your hesitation, because he grabs his boyfriend by the wrist and turns to walk away. "See you later, Prongs. Bye, love."

Sirius can be heard causing a scene even when Remus has dragged him half way across the student parking area. You smile after them fondly.

"You gonna make me guess?" James asks, pushing off of his car to stand and face you.

You have to crane your neck even worse to meet his eyes at this angle, but it's worth it. They're so light in the morning sun they look crystallised. He looks amused, lips twitching as he looks down at you. Heat prickles over your skin as he assesses you. "What's in the bag?"

You hand it to him, wordlessly, and nod for him to look inside. He pulls the frame, turning it until he can see the poster inside. His brows furrow, then lift, his lips parting in surprise. Genuine joy passes through his eyes and you wonder how someone can be so readable, so expressive. His beauty astounds you.

James looks at you, mouth opening and closing like he can't find the words.

"It's for you," You offer, rather dumbly, "Obviously."

James laughs a little breathless, the sound sending your heart slamming into your rib cage. "Where on earth?" He asks, bewildered.

"It's a secret. But I know how long you've wanted one, so I had it framed for safe keeping."

"Thank you," James slides the frame back into the bag, sets it to lean against the front of his car. "Seriously, thank you."

You shrug, hoping it's somewhat believable. "No big deal."

James rolls his eyes at your nonchalance. "Can I hug you? Is that too much? I feel like I should hug you."

You laugh, the feeling of anxiety lifting as James reaches forward to wrap his arms around you. He's warm and soft and smells like cologne and freshly washed clothes. His arms squeeze you tight, his nose buried in your hair where he's hunched over.

"Let me take you to dinner or something, as a thank you." James says as he pulls away, unlocking his car to place the frame safely in the passenger footwell.

"Really, James, you don't have to do that. It's just a poster." You wave him off, pushing off of the car and collecting your bag.

James follows as you walk, shoulder to bicep, skin brushing and your heart in your mouth from the contact alone. "I'm taking you to dinner. Not because I have to, but because I want to."

You find yourself fighting a smile, "Well if you want to." Your voice is teasing an it makes James smile.

"I do. It's a date." James tells you, like it's nothing.

You've halted in the doorway he's holding open for you, head tilting to look into his face. To be sure. To make sure he's not kidding, to make sure he doesn't mean a 'friend date'. He smiles, knowingly.

"You're not subtle, you know," He ushers you through the door, eager to make it to your class on time, "That poster is not easy to find, nor is it cheap."

"It's what friends do." You protest, cheeks warm and palms sweaty.

You brace for rejection, for a joke, for the 'I just don't see you that way'. But James rolls his eyes, reaching around you for the door to the classroom, "Friend's don't go on dates."

"We haven't been on a date." You laugh, incredulously, leading James to your usual seats.

It's a nice feeling, a warm feeling, to feel suddenly safe within your conversation. To feel the normal level of comfort you do with James, even when putting yourself out there. James frowns, "We've been on multiple dates. The library, the cafeteria, the coffee shop just off campus. We even went to that Ethics seminar that one time!"

It takes looking at him to realise he's kidding, the corners of his lips twitching up until he can't fight it anymore. It should be unsettling, for him to make a joke of it. But as he sits, his hand brushes over your shoulder, a gentle touch that sets your skin on fire. "I'm kidding, when I take you out for real, there'll be no confusion on whether or not it's a date."

His breath fans over your ear, warm and his voice thick and you think you might pass out, saved only by the entrance of your professor. James settles in, sends you a wink that has you more flustered than it should.

"Noted." You whisper, though you don't imagine James has heard you.

[accio-victuuri]

May CPNs round-up! ❤️💛💚

there is bonus content included here that i haven’t talked about separately in this blog so please enjoy!

• same apple headphones 🎧

• 5/6 zsww rumor

• genki forest ad silhouette similarities, and then it was replaced lol and sadly, they had to apologize.

• more examples of brands using the cp tactic ( allegedly lol )

• same city @ beijing 5/12/2024 but didn’t last long cause wyb had to fly to shanghai for the olympic qualifiers.

• jamy wee jeans

• fake story of wyb giving gifts to the ADLAD team and him visiting the crew which led to more people sharing some of their own szd stories that i didn’t add on the main post so i’m adding here instead. i think this started some conversation on what people heard irl about the two & how those who don’t really follow this pairing have encountered them. whether that means they are in a romantic relationship or not, we don’t know. these are all fake!!!! 💀💀💀

Let me tell you a story. A friend of mine told me that one of her college classmates participated in a hip-hop dance competition (SDC). Although she didn’t get a particularly impressive ranking, she was one of the top 100. Then she saw Xiao Zhan, and everyone knew that they were in a relationship, so they didn’t hesitate to visit him on set. What I said is just a rough estimate. I don’t have a membership so I can’t send pictures. I can swear that what I said is true, not a single word is fake, unless my friend lied to me, but I believe in my friend’s character

I'd also like to contribute a relatively old story, although many people should know it hahaha, that is, the two of them share resources. Someone around my friend is a staff member, and has read the confidentiality agreement of Zan Studio, which seems to say that there can be no conflict of interest with Bo, and to satisfy Bo to the greatest extent. Because Zan has a studio, resources are more free, and if there is something suitable for Bo, he will contact him directly. ( this was in 2020 )

Then I will also share my own experience. I participated in a New Year's Eve party. The lady sitting next to me is from the industry. She is not familiar with Bo Xiao, but the artist she knows has a good relationship with Xiao Xiao. The artist told her that Xiao had a boyfriend in the CQL crew. The artist told Xiao not to date him. Xiao Zhan said firmly, "I will not break up with my boyfriend."

I'll tell you one, my friend's sister is Jixiangkong's assistant, her sister doesn't like xx, um, she's a wyb fan, my friend knows I'm a fan and told me that her sister took a photo with wyb, I asked her indirectly to find out, she said her sister refused to tell, it was around 2019, she suddenly told me that her sister was a little bit abnormal, one day she said for no reason that wyb has turned gay.

My friend is a director of a certain Spring Festival Gala, and his family also works in this field. He has some connections. He used to think I was a fan of him and told me not to be a fan because he likes men. (To prevent screenshots, I can't say whether he is older or younger)

I'll also contribute one. My friend's dance teacher has been with the CQL crew, and after knowing that my friend likes Xiao Xiao, she told my friend that they were dating in CQL. My friend was almost broken. (She wf) ( wf means weifen = solo fan )

• a more comprehensive post about the airpods max cpn 🎧

• 5/14/24 xz’s selfie candies and i forgot to add another bit here, particularly the view from the window— it’s the backdrop for yibo’s chanel magazine cover. i would imagine it’s a popular scenic view but i’m just putting it out there 📷

then after the selfies, xzs released a short video of that day when it was taken. people did cpn of course but i’m just adding those here. so what we noticed is the two birds at the start, lovebirds? and then panning to xz who some say hid his phone or was looking at it then took it away because the camera was on him.

then a very galaxy brain one, and a total coincidence — outside the car, a police car passed by and people are like omg fpu ( formed police unit ) lol. but like if you watch that part, it was a perfect shot.

then some fans noticed similarities with the shots from wyb’s b&w photography 📷

• this next one is not really a cpn but more of me being proud of them and the works they produced. their popularity/traffic is important & definitely has helped them get projects, but we know that they give it their all when it becomes to being actors. the photos below are of the chinese films booth in cannes with both their movies and then the May schedule of their dramas’ reruns in satellite tv networks.

who would have known, they were once these two newbies who wanted to become actors and here we are — both of them have a solid body of work. 🤍

• clowning related to xz’s legend of zanghai poster

• 5/15 candies that revolves around wyb’s performance for the olympics opening. most especially his green + pink shoes 💕

• evisu x palace shirt that sneakily has their names on it

• 5/16 LRLG post and interpretations and then add-on speculation of relating this to the milan vlog and what some shots could mean

• their tissue endorsements matching so well. 💙♥️ and representing their cql character colors too!

• 5/20/24 zsww fake rumor - new clothes for jianguo, bickering and eating spicy food

• numbers playing for 520. 9785 and 828

• palace x wedgwood collab 🍓

• cpfs having discussions and comparisons to yy’s scandal to prove that bjyxszd

• 5/23/2024 fake rumor house

• XZ’s look for an endorsement Ad ( Liushen ). the whole fit and even the brand used screams WYB! 😂

• rumor compilation from 给博肖加点小料bot. from the past dates 2/24, 3/3, 3/26, 4/3, 4/29, 5/21 and 5/29.

• xz buying mcdo toys 🍔

• in the li-ning video released 5/31 xz was asked if he plays badminton and what he does during off times and the first thing he said is talk to his friend(s). who is that friend? is this the friend from the crew? 😜 no seriously. then after that he mentioned playing badminton, running and keeping fit. but the fact that he said talking to his friend? wow.

• the pink wedding theme potential from xz’s evelom outfit 💕💕🌸🌸

<<< previous month

[gallifreyanhotfive]

Random Doctor Who Facts You Might Not Know, Part 68

The Second Doctor, Jamie, and Victoria once encountered a Dalek patrol after they landed on a peaceful planet. The Daleks recognized the Doctor as Ka Faraq Gatri but did not have time to fire on him as the Doctor had activated a beacon, having redirected the electromagnetic pulse out rather than up. This fried the Daleks alive and brutally killed the mutants within. Victoria was appalled after seeing the Doctor's hatred for the Daleks for the first time and, seeing him differently, decided that she will soon leave the TARDIS. (Comic: Bringer of Darkness)

According to one account, Ace died very young during her TARDIS travels. She was kidnapped by the Threshold and sacrificed her life to destroy one of the Lobri - psychic parasites eating the collective fear of humanity - with Nitro-9. In this version of events, she died cradled in the Seventh Doctor's arms. (Comic: Ground Zero)

One time, the Seventh Doctor discovered that Ace's TARDIS bedroom had been deleted, noting that the TARDIS seems to be planning ahead... (Comic: Cat Litter)

The Calendar Man was the figure in a Time Lord fairytale that the Eleventh Doctor encountered. The Calendar Man judges people; if they have not lived their lives well, he kills them and erases them from all memory. (Audio: The Calendar Man)

The Kraken was a rogue timeship (or TARDIS, simply put) with the exterior of a giant squid. She became Cousin Cecelia in the Faction Paradox. Her interior is just as organic-looking as her exterior. (Novel: Weapons Grade Snake Oil)

One time while looking through their wedding photographs, Alistair and Doris Lethbridge-Stewart suddenly started seeing images of the Seventh Doctor. They knew he wasn't there, but then they started to vaguely recall his presence. They believed the Doctor might have altered time, so he could attend the wedding. (Short story: A Romantic Evening)

When Leela found a "Wanted Dead or Alive" poster with the Fourth Doctor's face plastered on it, the Fourth Doctor complained about the picture they had chosen for it. He wished they chose a picture showing his left size. (Audio: Requiem for the Rocket Men)

The Decayed Master thinks other people should find his face distressing - he finds his face distressing. (Audio: Requiem for the Rocket Men)

When the Decayed Master thought he had killed the Fourth Doctor, he mourned about how insignificant the death was, said he felt empty like he himself had died instead of the Doctor, and wondered what he would do tomorrow. (Audio: Requiem for the Rocket Men)

The Seventh Doctor took Ace to London and Moscow in 1967 with the purpose of testing her to see if she could attend the Time Lord Academy. He had submitted an application on her behalf without telling her. A Gallifreyan Adjudicator even got involved to assess her potential. One of the tests set up for her had to do with the Ice Warrior Hsessh. Ace was, of course, furious about this. (Audio: Thin Ice)

The Ergon - one of Omega's creations, one of his agents in the matter universe - was once mistaken by Ace to be a man in a costume while she was working as a waitress (she served up a box of fries). (Short story: Anti-Matter with Fries)

Shortly after Leela's wedding, the Seventh Doctor showed up and met K-9. K-9, of course, recognized him because he always knew the Doctor. The Doctor urged K-9 not to inform anyone, even Leela, of his appearance and unclipped a gold medallion identity tag from K-9, keeping it as a "memento to remember his second best friend by." (Short story: Affirmative)

Peri's consciousness was projected into the past after being pushed into a stasis chamber attached to a chronotopic projector. Her consciousness was dropped into different avatars, including a male soldier named Perry, a man on a hot air balloon expedition named Perrault, a trapeze artist named the Amazing Perpugilliam, surprised that she appeared female again, a 19th century woman in Venice, a fisherwoman, and Pushinka, an astronaut dog. (Audio: The Authentic Experience)

One time, the Seventh Doctor was offered a fully functional brand new replacement TARDIS. While he was having this discussion, the TARDIS had a conversation with this replacement about whether Time Lords love their TARDISes. The TARDIS believes the Doctor does love her, but the replacement wasn't sure, thinking that they were meant to be used and then replaced. However, the Seventh Doctor chose to keep the older TARDIS. (Short story: Time, Love, and TARDIS)

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[oskea93]

← Take Me Away (Intro) →

OC x Jamie Campbell Bower (AU 1970s)  Warnings: TW—> This story will contain the following: (domestic violence, physical/verbal assault, cursing, sexual content, drug abuse, alcohol abuse, self harm). Please do not read if you are triggered by any of these warnings. This is a work of fiction only. I do not own Jamie or any other famous people mentioned. 

A/N: Hello again! So I decided to restart this story again because i'm currently in my JCB era and there just needs to be more stories out there featuring this man! With that being said, Jamie will not be the Jamie we know and love today. His name and image is being used, but there will be moments where he is not a very nice guy. Kind of like Caleb from Horizon. But there will also be moments where he is the lovable guy he typically is. I just want to thank those that either stuck with this fic or just recently found it!

☺︎ IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO BE TAGGED, JUST DROP A COMMENT ☺︎

“So, tell me about Jamie.”

“What do you wanna know?”

The interviewer looked down at her notes, “What was life with him like – in private.”

I chewed on my bottom lip, somewhat afraid to answer. “Chaotic- “I started. “Wonderful in many ways but a total shitstorm all at the same time. He knew what to say and when to say it, but his words and actions weren’t always pleasing.”

I paused, searching for the right words to convey the whirlwind that was our life together. “Jamie was incredibly charismatic. He could light up any room he walked into, and people were naturally drawn to him. His charm was almost intoxicating; it made you feel special just being around him. But that charm had a flip side. In private, it wasn’t always so magical. There were days when his mood would swing dramatically, and you never knew what to expect.”

“How so?” The interviewer questioned.

I shrugged my shoulders, slouching a bit in my seat as I reflected on the complicated nature of the person in question. "He was his own villain," I began, my voice tinged with a mix of sympathy and disappointment. "He tried so hard to make a name for himself in the industry. After years of working closely with all these high-profile artists, indulging in the debauchery they played with, he lost sight of who he truly was."

I paused, choosing my words carefully as I continued, "Your sins catch up to you eventually, and the way you treat people changes. It's like a slow erosion of your values and morals until one day, you look in the mirror and realize you're not the person you thought you were."

My companion listened intently, absorbing my words before posing a poignant question, "Was he the love of your life?" The inquiry hung in the air, laden with layers of emotion and history, hinting at a deeper connection that transcended professional ties and delved into matters of the heart.

As I delved into the depths of my memories, recounting the chapters of my life that intertwined with the complexities of rising to fame at the tender age of 17, I knew that the tale of Jamie and me would be a pivotal thread in the fabric of my story. It was a narrative rooted in scandal and secrecy, a forbidden love that blossomed amidst the chaotic backdrop of rock 'n' roll excess and the stark contrast of a preacher's daughter entwined with a man hired to shield her from the very temptations she found herself succumbing to.

We wove a web of deception, attempting to shield our burgeoning relationship from prying eyes and wagging tongues, but the silent exchanges, the subtle gestures, and the lingering gazes between us belied the truth we sought to conceal. Jamie was a force of nature, a whirlwind of contradictions that both thrilled and terrified me in equal measure. His charm was a siren song that beckoned me into uncharted waters, his humor a balm to soothe the turbulence within my soul, his love a flame that flickered dangerously close to consuming us both.

In Jamie, I found a kindred spirit, a partner in crime who mirrored my own reckless abandon and insatiable thirst for life. He was the grenade to my pin, the catalyst that ignited a chain reaction of emotions and experiences that would forever alter the course of my existence. He was the bomb to my clock, ticking away the moments until our inevitable collision, our destinies irrevocably intertwined in a dance of passion and peril.

I had always been taught that God sends people into our lives for a reason, be it for our growth or our downfall. Jamie was no exception—a temporary fix that morphed into a permanent fixture, a fixture that brought both the brightest joys and the darkest sorrows of my young life. His presence was a paradox, a riddle wrapped in an enigma, a conundrum that I struggled to unravel even as I found myself ensnared in the web of our shared destiny.

I shifted in the plastic seat, my denim-clad legs crossing tightly. “Well—” I spoke, my voice wavering slightly. “That’s quite a title to give someone who could love you one minute and then treat you worse than a dog the next.” I smiled sadly, the memories flooding back with a mix of warmth and pain.

As I penned the words that would immortalize our tumultuous love affair on the pages of my memoir, I couldn't help but marvel at the intricate tapestry of fate that had woven our paths together. The story of Jamie and me was a testament to the volatile alchemy of passion and pain, of love and loss, of growth and destruction—a story that would echo through the annals of time as a cautionary tale of the perils and pleasures of forbidden love. And as I laid bare the raw truths of our tumultuous romance, I knew that Jamie would forever hold a piece of my heart, a shard of my soul, a chapter in my life that would never truly be closed.

[equallyshaw]

ᴅᴀʏ ᴛᴡᴏ: ᴄʜʀɪꜱᴛᴍᴀꜱ ꜱᴏɴɢꜱ ᴀɴᴅ ʜᴇᴀʀᴛʙʀᴇᴀᴋ - ᴛʀᴇᴠᴏʀ ᴢᴇɢʀᴀꜱ

country singer x trevor blurb!

warnings: swearing, cheating, etc. im sorry about this one besties🥺

word count: 4.1k

masterlist for holidays with equallyshaw.

𝘁𝗿𝗲𝘃𝗼𝗿 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗱𝗮𝗶𝘀𝘆 𝗺𝗲𝘁 at a country festival, in spring of 2022. after a rough end to the season, him and jamie headed out to a country festival in southern california and just so happened to stumble upon 'miss daisy' the newest, up-and-coming country artist. the two hit if off very well and spent the rest of the weekend tied to one another's hips. daisy thought that it was just a weekend thing and nothing more, but then the day that they all went their separate ways, he was texting her how long she was at home in california for before traveling for summer festivals, and then it blossomed into so much more. daisy was unsure about it, just because her and her boyfriend of three years had just broken up. her ex did not like the success she was having and believed that she had changed. he also did not like how much more successful she was than him, it hurt his precious ego. she was nervous about rushing into another relationship, but trevor made it all very easy, and loving him was the easiest thing she'd done in her life; she'd believed.

❅

it was november a year and a half after meeting and getting together, when her ex boyfriend hit her up. she was in a club box at the ducks arena with her best friend abbi, when she felt her phone buzz. she peered down at it, a simple text stating "enjoying the game?" and sh quickly looked up to see if anybody in front of her had noticed her. her eyes quickly found his, in the box next to her's. she felt a rush of emotions hit her, and she swallowed tryings to blink back tears. she'd be lying if she did not say seeing him had made her heart flutter, and a wave of butterflies formed. abbi looked over and saw who her best friend had her eyes on, and daisy quickly looked back toward the ice. a few minutes later, she headed towards the open bar in the suite and ordered a simple cocktail. "actually can you wait on making it, im gonna head to the washroom." and the bartender nodded going to another patron. she headed out of the suite towards the washroom, "daisy!" she heard her name roll of the southern drawl. she continued her descent towards the washroom, but his longer legs had made him catch up to her.

he grabbed her softly by the arm and made her turn towards him. she yanked her arm away from him, giving him a scowl. "don't do that." he said looking around, to see if anybody had seen them. "don't do that? fuck off tyler." she spat, turning back around but he grabbed her again. she put her arms up, "don't touch me!" she growled, her hands going frantic. he raised his arms up in innocence, and she took a step back. "what? what could you possibly want?" she quizzed, crossing her arms over her chest. he hesitated before speaking, rolling on the balls of his feet. "i-i wanted to let you know that-" she cut him off, "spit it out tyler." she spat, getting impatient. "i have a song coming out tomorrow...and uh, its about you. us. everything." and the way her said 'everything' was shot to her gut, she took a large breathe of air in, and shook her head. "well good for you tyler." she huffed, before turning around and walking off towards the washroom.

it was later on in the evening when she say in trevor's car waiting for him to come out after media and post game stuff, her thoughts began to run wild. she had quickly texted her manager, to see if she knew about this; and she had. her team thought it would be best to not say anything just yet, but that proved to be the wrong choice because of how angry daisy was. why was he releasing something over a year and a half later? but she knew why. some ego or selfish feeling had washed over her as soon as he had said those words. he would be releasing music before she would be. she hadn't released anything since she headlined the weekend her and trevor had met, nothing had come to fruition. she didn't like anything, no she abhorred everything. and that made daisy the perfectionist angry, beyond livid. she knew that she'd have to hit the studio at some point, and knew she'd have to do some writing this week to get to that point. but she knew that he was doing it because one, his ego could not handle not putting anything out and two, he wanted to attack her name and who she was. make it seem like it was her fault, she knew that much.

her thinking was cut short when trevor opened the door and hopped in, leaning over quickly to kiss daisy. she leaned into it, before pulling away and buckling. "good job hun, you did so good!" she gushed, her subdued energy only glinting for a few seconds. trevor noticed...because he noticed everything about her. he looked over as he turned on the car, feeling wary. "you ok, z?" he questioned softly, turning towards her completely. she nodded giving him a tight-lipped smile, "yes, why wouldn't i be?" she hummed taking ahold of his hand that laid open between them, on the console. he knew not to push her tonight, so he nodded and gave her hand a quick kiss before driving off.

❅

the next morning she was up and out of the door, barging in on her producer whom she had trusted her first single and ep with, in the midst of listening to tyler's new single. she was fuming when she barged in to see her producer who at this point, was pretty much an uncle figure to her. "miss daisy, what can i do for you hun?" he questioned, pulling her into a hug. "i have so many ideas, i just need to get them onto paper. somehow." she said pulling away to sit on the couch. he nodded, sitting back down and crossing a leg over his other. "what sound are you going for?" he questioned, remembering that she had wanted to change her style just a bit the last time they spoke. "i-i." she shook her head, "we'll get to that. but i already called abbi and maya to come to help write." she said throwing her hair up in a bun, and he nodded. "alright, lets do this thing." he grinned, pulling out a pen and paper and daisy began to explain what she had been thinking and feeling recently.

christmas isn't canceled (Just You) was born into fruition that day, and it was different. it was very much different than her previous music, but she adored it. she headed home that day with a huge smile on her face, ready to play it for trevor. but trevor wasn't too thrilled about it. as soon as she walked in, he looked up from the couch but did not say anything. "hi! you wouldn't believe what we did at the studio today! i nee-" she stopped speaking when she had rounded the couch, and saw what was on the tv. tyler's song. she sighed, turning towards trevor. "i-i didn't know i promise! i found out last night at the game, my team didn't tell me or els-" he cut her off, "or what? what would you have done daisy?! he practically confessed his love for you and how no matter what he'll love you, no matter what you did, and that he'd drop everything for you. i thought he hated you? isn't that what you said to me the night we met? how your egotistical ex was a douchebag who only cared about his career and hated that you were apparently a fame whore, huh? honestly, i don't know what to believe anymore, z." he said standing up now and beginning to walk into the kitchen.

she blinked back tears, "trev, stop. wait!" she said called after him before following him. he turned around, "you know everything trevor, everything. i promise, what i said was true. he is doing it to spin this onto me, so he gets good press. because again, the girl is always the issue. you need to trust me that what he wrote and put out doesn't matter to me, only you and i. i would never, and you know this- i would never go back to him for any reason. he's doing it to get a rise out of me." she pleaded, no begging for him to believe her. she softly pressed her hands to his cheeks, pulling his face down just a bit to look at her. "you know me, you know my heart trevor. you know that it's all yours, my whole being." she said softly, as tears pricked at her blue eyes. oh, how he loved those eyes.

he sighed, before shutting his eyes, "i don't want you at the game tomorrow. i need some space." he annouced before heading upstairs. her hands stayed where they were in mid-air, before bringing them back down to her chest, and letting out a silent and violent sob. she sobbed for a few minutes, before sniffling through anger and despair- and knew exactly where she needed to go. she slammed the garage door, hopping into her car and pulling out of the garage. she drove for about 20 minutes to laguna beach, as if it was second nature to her. she parked in front of the small beach house and shut her door, walking up towards the door. she banged on it a few times, sighing as the person on the other side took forever. "you!" she said pointing a finger at his chest, and taking three steps inside before shutting the door behind her. he held up his hands in innocence, but that only made her more pissed off.

"youre so sick and twister tyler, you know that? you are harming a healthy fucking relationship for what? harming my image, with a fake song! what-what tyler?!" she yelled at the country singer, and he only shook his head as if she was dumb. "what?!" she screamed, and he looked at her deeply. "you already know that answer, daze." and the way the nickname rolled off his tongue made her heart swell, again. she shook her head, "no. you made your choice, you get to live with that. forever." she said holding her ground. "despite what you think and thought of me, i thought you were a better person than that. i thought your mama raised you better than that!" she said, anger flowing through her at a rapid pace. he chuckled, "and we also know that you wouldn't be over here if you too didn't feel the same way about things, and me." he teased, a coy smile forming. she rolled her eyes, "god you are such a dick! why can't you have a simple conversation before accusing me of the only thing you think you know about me? im still the same person tyler, think a little or can your pea size brain not comprehend that?" she quipped, ready to open the door but he shut if with one hand above her head. "if you walk out that door, there's never going to be an 'us' ever again, there's never going to be a future where we can even be friendly." he threatened, and she hated him for it. "why would i want to be friendly with you, when you've dragged my name through the mud, huh?" she questioned, without looking back at him. "because you'll need a friend when your hot shot of a boyfriend breaks up with you." and she turned towards him. "excuse me?" she spat, and he chuckled. "maybe ask your boyfriend what he did while you were away over the summer, in europe. ask what he did when he was at the boots n barbecue (idk) festival." he announced, and she swallowed heart. "what?" she asked, barely above a whisper.

"your superstar boyfriend cheated on you daisy. and say what you want about me as a boyfriend or person but i would never cheat on you or anybody. you know that much, daze." he said, as he watched her think. she waved her hand, "you're lying. he'd never." she said barely above a whisper, again. but the look that he was giving her, she knew. she knew he wasn't lying and that he'd never lie about such a thing. she swallowed, "i-i have to go." she said turning back towards the door and opening it, "its true. i wasn't lying when i said if you walk out that door, they'll never be an us or any friendliness from me." he announced, a glint of hope coursing through his veins.

she looked at the ground and sighed, before shutting the door behind her. god, she hated herself. and how much she still loved him.

"now give me your coat." he hummed, taking two steps forward into her space and began to pull it off himself. "oh, valentino. nice." he grinned through soft words. he pushed the coat off, still staring down at the girl. goosebumps washed over daisy, as his gaze poured into her eyes. his blue eyes matching hers, perfectly. he grinned, leaning closer stopping just before her lips, and then moved his lips towards her right ear. "still the same perfume as always?" he whispered, exactly where it was the most dominant behind her ear. maison francis rouge, 540. the exact one he had gifted to her for christmas before he broke up with her. amber, woodsy and floral just like her, he had always said. even coming up with three different songs for her. he placed a soft kiss underneath her ear, and she felt herself instantly place her hand in his semi-medium dark brunette locks, and he chuckled. "tyler..." she said in a whisper, as he did it again but on the other side. "come on darlin..." he hummed, as he pulled her towards the bedroom.

❅

the morning of december 17th, she felt arms around her waist in a bedroom that looked exactly the same as the time it did when they broke up. he hadn't wanted to change anything, because she had been the one to decorate it. she heard her phone ring with a call from somebody. "turn it off." tyler groaned, his face in her neck. she scooted over and felt dread wash over her, as she saw trevors contact. "he'll think something is up, if i don't answer." she said sitting up to take it. "hi t-" he cut her off, "where are you right now?" he asked without hesitation. "what?" she asked growing nervous, looking down at tyler who's head perked up at her question. "where are you daisy? and don't lie to me." he said pacing on the other end, "come on trevor. what are you trying to get at?" she questioned, rubbing her eyes. "are you with him? are you?" he questioned, looking up at his parents who had dropped in early for the holidays. trevor had been suspicious lately of how much time she was spending at the studio, she'd never spent so much time in all of their relationship. but a tip from jamie from abbi her best friend, had him worried. "oh come on trevor, you know im at the studio. im trying to get a single out before christmas." she said looking in front of her. he shook his head, "just-just please come home. that's all i ask." trevor said vulnerable, and she swallowed. "ill be there soon." she hummed before hanging up. she hadn't said home, trevor thought as she did so.

"I have to go." she said throwing the covers off and throwing on her underwear from before, and tyler objected. "no, don't gooo." and she rolled her eyes. "i knew this whole thing was a mistake." she said walking over towards her black dress from the night before, putting on her bra in the process. "then are you gonna tell him that you know? that you know what he did?" tyler said getting up, and putting on his boxers. she had trouble zipping up her dress, and tyler swooped in and she instantly felt electricity run up her spine. she shrugged it off and continued to walk out the door. "daze, you have to tell him." he said as he followed her downstairs. "tyler." she said his name in a way he hated it because he knew her answer. "come on daisy!" he yelled out, and she turned around to him giggling. "you only want me to tell him so you can have me again, so i can be all yours. well you know what, what if i don't want to be yours, again?" she quipped sliding on her light trench coat. he shook his head, "you're lying daze. i know when you're lying." he chuckled. "so what?! you think me telling him about us, this - right after i tell him i know about him and what he did, that he isn't going to be any less mad about it?" she spat, stepping into her heels.

"are you gonna stay with him, if he chooses to not leave you ofcourse." he countered and she giggled. "whatever i decide, ill text you." she said sarcastically before walking out into the garage and into her car. tyler watched from doorway before heading back inside.

❅

she shut the garage door behind her, her black boots she threw on in the car clunked on the marble floor. she sighed hearing voices from the kitchen, and she made her descent towards the stairs. she had made it into the bedroom, when she heard footsteps after her. she turned around to trevor who took in her little black dress, a black oversized jacket she had also thrown on in the car. he crossed his arms, not saying a word. he just stared at her. "tyler you're making me uncomfortable." she said turning around and heading towards her closet, to grab some change of clothes. he walked in behind her, shutting the door as well. "ty-" she stopped herself when she saw the look he was sporting.

guilt, shame, anger, betrayal, and despair were all evident on his face.

"i cheated when you were in europe." he confessed, biting the inside of his cheek. she nodded softly, "i know." she said just above a whisper, and his eye's found hers. "what?" he questioned, eyebrows crinkling. "i know, i found out a few weeks ago." she said turning back around to take off her jacket. "who told you?" he questioned, and she shook her head. "it's not important." she hummed, shoving her boots off. "who daisy? who?" he said but he knew the answer, and as she turned around she saw the tears that had begun to form.

"him. right? because its always him." he hummed, putting a hand on his hip. "trevor-" he cut her off, "you've been seeing him haven't you?" he questioned. when she didn't answer, he knew the answer. "i don't know how i can be angry when i did the exact same thing but at least it was with a stranger and not fucking tyler!" he screamed the last part, now fuming. "oh fuck off trevor, if you could have done it with emma you would have!" she screamed back at him, and he laughed. a wicked laugh filled with slight amusement. "now you're gonna go on and on about emma, again are you?" he questioned, a slight amused look on his face. "me? you're going on and on about tyler! i think its warranted, if you're bringing up my ex all the time!" she shrieked, throwing her hands up. "at least she isn't out there writing songs about how the one got away! how the girl that i love, is busy with some 'past time'!" he said now throwing his hands up. "good god trevor, are you jealous? are you jealous of him, huh? because believe me i could bring up the fact that i saw you text emma a month after we got together, how do you think i felt? feeling less than and thinking that she was who you really wanted!" she said and he stood there shocked, "don't act surprised. jamie tried to play if off but i knew trevor. i fucking knew, and i still let you fool me! i allowed you to whisk me away that summer and fool me into believing that you liked me and that i was the one for you. but you going on and cheating on me in fucking public, might i add- really shows how you really feel huh?" she spat, taking a moment to breathe.

"i get i get that you are upset with me, i get that you feel betrayed. i get that you don't like tyler, i get that what tyler did was shitty. believe me, I've already given him earfuls. but-but you cant expect me not to get upset about you texting her and then doing what you did this summer. we both fucked up. we need to be civilized adults and move on trevor." she finished, sniffling. he tilted his head just a bit, his lips turning inward. "ill have my stuff out by the end of the game tomorrow, trevor." she said turning back around, and throwing a bag of clothes together. she began to walk out of the closet before looking back at trevor, "i hope you know that song i wrote in july. that- that was everything i felt and more, i meant that song trevor. don't forget that." she said softly before walking out.

out of his life forever.

❅

she smiled softly, as she took pictures for her holiday ep. ᴄʜʀɪꜱᴛᴍᴀꜱ ꜱᴏɴɢꜱ ᴀɴᴅ ʜᴇᴀʀᴛʙʀᴇᴀᴋ. (which would without question, go #1 on the country charts and pop) today was the 22nd, and somehow she had written and recorded the few songs to put out the very next day.

the track list went: mine, river, christmas isn't canceled (Just You) and my grown up christmas wish. (mine and canceled is by kelly clarkson) abbi her best friend took ahold of her best friends hand as they exited the studio together, as tyler continued to text her. he hadn't heard from her as she left that day. she never did tell him of the inevitable breakup.

"you know as much as tyler is an ass and has made some questionable choices recently and despite what he said when yall broke up..i know you still love him daisy. i know that even while you were with trevor, you were hoping for a way out - the whole time." abbi said as they got into the car. daisy sighed as she put her hands on the wheel. "yeah thankyou for reminding me." she said monotoned, and abbi giggled. "seriously, as much as i loved you with trevor and how much he brought out a different side of you, we both know and so does the world that tyler brought way more out of you. the better side of you. yall were each others first love for christ's sake." abbi said wiggling her eyebrows. daisy rolled her eyes, before pulling out into downtown la traffic. "alright alright abbi, thanks for the talk." she hummed, pressing tyler's contact name on the screen in front of her.

❅

her and tyler walked into the popular breakfast place, christmas morning. the two decided to spend christmas together, just the two of them. frankly, because tyler hadn't booked a flight home to dallas in time. they held each others hand before Tyler let her walk in front of him towards the booth. she slid in across from him, and smiled. the two had decided they didn't want to hide their relationship from the world anymore, and though it might look messy from the outside- they were prepared to set the record straight. again, even if it was messy. he took ahold of her hand, smiling like the cheshire cats- the both of them.

trevor noticed the two walk in as soon as they had, as he was sipping his cappuccino from the table with his family. he swallowed hard, watching as the two sat down smiling like fools. even if it stung trevor, it didn't hurt as much as he thought it would. he knew deep down that her and tyler were the one's for each other- he'd just been a stop on her way back to him.

tags: @toasttt11 @jayda12 @dancerbailey3 @jackhues @cuttergauthier

please like and reblog if you enjoyed, id appreciate it vv much❤️

[drumlincountry]

how about some old style blogging

feeling blown about by the winds of history recently. might be the election. Some of it is Palestine.

The evil empire in which we all live is particularly obviously evil and particularly obviously an empire at times like this. I'm thinking a lot about how the Irish became white, how we are both colonised people and now neo-colonisers.

Last night my mother showed me a small paperback book which belonged to my great-grandfather & I was reminded again that my grandfather's great-grandfather (I think?) landed in our area from probably-galway and the family managed to hold onto speaking irish for A CENTURY until my granddad married an english woman & decided it was rude to teach their children a language she didn't know. I love my granny, but come oooooooon.

& you know my mother did become fluent in adulthood and did her best to pass that on but. you know. failed. Love to have my tongue cut out.

The book was Tóraíocht Dhiarmada agus Ghráinne, and my great-grandfather had annotated it with loads of little pencil notes. That generation is gone & i can barely understand their language. The generation after it is gone except for my great-aunt who lives in Texas. There's a lot I will never know.

I've been thinking a lot about the image of sustainability vs the reality of sustainability. Greenwashing, etc. A lot of people think 'traditional ways' are greener. some of them are. A lot of people think modern high tech solutions are greener. Some of them are. the reality is that we are based in 2024 & no other generation has had to face the crisis we're facing & trying to lift solutions wholesale from any other time will be. ineffective.

So yeah. Image vs reality. sometimes the difference is hard to spot. A solid fuel stove burning wood which is locally grown (using native species, in an area suitable for woodland) & coppiced on a sensible rotation = VERY SUSTAINABLE. A solid fuel stove burning most firewood you can buy = I HAVE MY DOUBTS. A solid fuel stove burning turf = I'M SORRY BUT THIS IS SO SO BAD.

Empires are bad for the environment. This is so basic it feels like it shouldn't have to be said. Empires are bad for the environment!

Irish people only really started burning peat at scale in the 17thc I believe? because colonisation had denuded the landscape of its ancient forests. That great big british navy you know. Those ships had irish bones, among others. My point being: poor people have to make environmentally destructive choices to fucking survive.

The ecological footprint of my lifestyle is largely invisible to me as a citizen of the global north. I don't see the exploitative mining practices, farming practices, manufacturing practices. This is part of the evil of empire. The decision making is concentrated in the imperial core & the imperial core does not give a flying fuck about the ecology of the colonies.

Eating locally sourced food doesn't have much impact on ur carbon footprint btw, but it gives u more transparency.

The artist who designed jamie's engagement ring for me only uses Irish silver in her work, because she knows that 1. Ireland is bound by EU environmental regulations 2. Ireland has SOME level of worker protections 3. If a massive scandalous breach of these standards occured in a silver mine in Ireland, she'd hear about it somehow.

This is part of why I have this quiet worry that my work will betray me. For those who don't know: my job is about paying farmers to be good to the environment.

A few problems with this. 1. commodifying the environment is a dangerous game. if you STOP paying someone to be good the environment they're more likely to stop being good to the environment than they would be if you never paid them in the first place. Think like - paying people to donate blood. the rate of donations actually goes down. 2. if we're going to pay people around here to de-intensify agriculture & we all end up eating food produced in exploitative conditions at the imperial fringe. Well that would fucking suck! 3. the whole idea of the work rests on the idea that people who own big chunks of THE LAND have the right to do whatever they want to THE LAND & the rest of the community (& the state claiming to represent them) can only nudge these land "owners" to do things for the common good. bit too fucking libertarian for my taste. Whatever our paperwork may say, you can't own mud. mud owns itself!!

4. the conservative libertarianism baked into this system isn't a side issue. the fact that land is mostly passed down thru male lines, the association between the farm and the patriarchal family all leads to .....bad fucking politics! lotta queerphobia, misogyny, racism, climate change denial. I see this all the time with the people i work with and it is heartbreaking. If we manage to reverse some ecological destruction without in any way undoing the power systems that birthed it. uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugh. We'll have done some good. but I'll be unsatisfied.

Yes you can quote me on that. I will not be satisfied unless my little job teaching people about wildflowers and hedgerows topples the empire of the global north.

Will they betray me? They're already betraying me all the fucking time. Today at work my coworker told me he thinks a local fascist 'had a point about immigrants'.

I betray me too! Not that way, but I'm a tool of empire. I'm dangling money in front of ppl without much of it, enticing them to do what the EU & the state wants them to do.

Today for work reasons I stood in a field and articulately defended the need for farming to continue in Ireland b/c of the benefits it can provide for climate change mitigation and ecosystem maintainence AND the value of our heritage and our traditional attachment to the land. Two people asked to exchange numbers at the end because they want to hear more. I agree with what I said, but it wasn't even half, a quarter of the picture.

The root of the problem is: we have become white. We have become colonists. The Common Agricultural Policy of the EU drives what happens with farming on Many continents & only one of those continents gets to vote on it. If we continue to exploit Africa, South America & Asia for our food, we are like the British cutting down the Irish forests for their ships. The root of the problem is: none of us are free until we're all free.

Last night I held my great-grandfather's book in my hands and remembered that I am living a life beyond his wildest dreams. I have a bright & warm home. Clean running water. Electricity. Cupboards full of food & I don't have to break my back toiling in the fields. I studied in a university. I've travelled farther than he could possibly have imagined.

But if all that comes at the cost of oppressing people the way he was oppressed? I don't want it.

Of course I want it. Everyone wants ease and comfort. I just want it without the cost. I need to not want the cost more than I want the ease. That's the only way to have a soul.

I have some knowledge of what life is like at the bottom of the heap. I am a strong believer in destroying the heap entirely.

I get so very annoyed when anyone refers to a two story house as a 'cottage'.

[pupphe-additions]

✴Jamie's Relationship With BTS✴

Jamie x RM

Quote: “We cannot become what we want by remaining what we are.” Dynamic: Fatherly Love

RM’s contact in Jamie’s phone is “Father Joonie”

Jamie says that RM is very protective of him and he’s always babied him.

Jamie says that RM is like Ametrine, which is a crystal that’s a combination of both amethyst and citrine. The younger idol has hand made RM a necklace with the gem but hasn’t gotten around to gifting it to him yet.

Jamie says that they are both really clumsy and when they are together it’s a mess.

Jamie finds RM to be really goofy but admits they aren’t close. 

Jamie says that RM gives him a lot of advice and that RM keeps his head on his shoulders.

Jamie admits that sometimes he will send RM memes when he doesn’t know what to say to the older idol.

RM was the first idol that Jamie ever met even before becoming a trainee.

Jamie admits that RM is a big reason why he auditioned to an agency to begin with, he finds RM to be very cool.

Jamie likes to make RM gifts but he’s always too afraid to give them to him so he just has a little box full of handmade goodies to eventually give the older idol.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

Jamie x Jin

Quote: “The most beautiful thing you can wear is confidence.” Dynamic: Motherly Love

Jin’s contact in Jamie’s phone is “Mother Jinnie”

Jin is known to scold Jamie if he is late for anything and he finds out.

Jamie says that sometimes Jin feels more like a mother figure than a father figure.

Jin and Jamie have eaten together a few times and Jin always makes sure that Jamie eats as much as he wants.

Jin has offered to help Jamie become a better actor.

Jamie says that Jin is like Golden Calcite and he has made the idol a bracelet using the stone, Jin wears it often.

Jamie has given Jin an alpaca plush and in return Jin has given Jamie a racoon plush.

Jamie and Jin send each other food pictures most of the time when they talk to show each other what they are eating that day.

They share dad jokes with one another and always laugh over them.

Jin always treats Jamie with kindness and he sort of took Jamie under his wing when he joined Hybe.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

Jamie x Suga

Quote: “I can do anything I set my mind to” Dynamic: Golden Retriever X Black Cat

Suga’s contact in Jamie’s phone is “Agust Kitty”

Jamie said that when he first met Suga he almost cried because he’s always looked up to Suga as a role model.

Jamie says he wants to be a great producer like Suga one day.

Suga shows extreme gentleness and kindness toward Jamie, and Suga has said he sees a bit of himself in Jamie.

Jamie says he’d really like to do a song with Suga in the future and he would love to work with Suga on a big project if he could.

Jamie says that Suga is like Fluorite and has gifted Suga multiple pieces of Fluorite like a handmade necklace and a handmade bracelet as well that matches it.

Suga enjoys when Jamie sends him pictures of his cats so Jamie does that often. In fact most of their messages are just the two of them sending pictures back and forth.

Suga is extremely protective of Jamie and constantly checks up on the younger idol even though they aren’t the closest.

Suga teases Jamie sometimes because of how shy Jamie is around him, he finds it cute and endearing.

Jamie says that Suga is one of his biggest inspirations as an artist and it’s an honor to know him.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

Jamie x J-Hope

Quote: “When you focus on the good, the good gets better.” Dynamic: Sunshine Duo

J-Hope’s contact in Jamie’s phone is “Sunshine Hobi”

Jamie and J-Hope are both sunshines and always make each other smile and laugh.

J-Hope says that he has a big soft spot in his heart for Jamie and that he wants to get to know him better.

Jamie says that J-Hope is like Green Jade and he hasn’t gifted him any yet but would like to, he just hasn’t had the chance to yet.

Jamie says that he wants to dance with J-Hope on a stage if he can as he feels he could learn a lot from him.

Jamie says that when he first met J-Hope he was extremely anxious and afraid of what the older idol would think of him and was on his best behavior.

Jamie finds J-Hope very charming and outgoing but he gets nervous around him for some reason.

J-Hope and Jamie don’t talk a lot through messages so they aren’t that close, but both have said they’d like to be closer friends.

J-Hope says he sees a lot of potential in Jamie and hopes to see him thrive as an idol.

Jamie enjoys when J-Hope messages him first because it makes Jamie feel less awkward.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

Jamie x Jimin

Quote: “People cry, not because they’re weak. It’s because they’ve been strong for too long.” Dynamic: Golden Retriever x Calico Cat

Jimin’s contact in Jamie’s phone is “My Calico Cat”

Jamie loves watching Jimin perform and he finds Jimin’s dancing to be captivating.

Jamie thinks that Jimin is really beautiful inside and out and he’s always afraid to message him first.

Jamie says that Jimin is like Hematite and he’s given Jimin the stone and a handmade necklace with it as well. Jimin says it’s something he cherishes and he doesn’t really take it off often.

Jimin has a habit of asking if Jamie has eaten if he hasn’t Jimin urges him to eat when he can, Jamie also does the same to him.

Jamie has stated that Jimin likes to tease him a lot.

Jimin calls Jamie a puppy and says that he can be clingy when he feels scared or nervous.

Jamie and Jiimin don’t message each other a lot unless it’s in the group chat.

Jamie wants to learn to dance as beautifully as Jimin and will often push himself when it comes to dancing as he knows he can do better.

Jimin always listens to Jamie if he needs to rant or vent about anything.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

Jamie x V

Quote: “I like you because you’re weird like me.” Dynamic: Yapps, Yapps More

V’s contact in Jamie’s phone is “#1 Handsome Man”

Jamie says that V makes him flustered because he finds V to be very charming and handsome.

Jamie says that V is like Moss Agate and he’s made V a handmade necklace using Moss Agate that the older idol adores with his whole heart.

V gives Jamie advice when he can and has told the younger idol if he needs anything he can come to BTS for anything.

V is protective of Jamie and he says that he sees Jamie as a little brother and he wants to see him thrive.

V and Jamie tend to feed off of each other’s energies so they can get a bit wild when together.

Jamie likes to send V any cool photos he takes and see what the other idol will rate it out of ten.

Jamie sends any pictures of himself to the group chat before posting them to get their opinions.

V always checks up on Jamie to make sure he’s taking care of himself.

Jamie would like to work with V one day if he is allowed to.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

Jamie x Jungkook

Quote: “You’re my favorite place to go to when my mind searches for peace.” Dynamic: Hidden Gem Friendship/Lowkey Besties

Jungkook’s contact in Jamie’s phone is “Best Kookie”

Jamie is closest to the maknae line as they are all in a group chat together created by Jungkook, out of all the members of BTS Jungkook is who Jamie is closest to.

Jungkook is extremely protective of Jamie and he has stood up for the younger idol a few times already.

Jamie and Jungkook play games together from time to time.

Jamie says that Jungkook is like Red Jasper and he has given the idol the stone twice. Jamie says he hasn’t made him any jewelry yet but he wants to make Jungkook a Red Jasper ring or bracelet when he has the chance to.

Jamie goes to Jungkook the most out of all the other BTS members for advice.

Jungkook checks up on Jamie often and will go out of his way to make sure he’s okay.

Jamie says that he talks to Jungkook the most and that if it wasn’t for Jungkook Jamie likely wouldn’t be close with any of BTS.

Jamie wants to rap on a song with Jungkook.

Jamie enjoys cracking jokes with Jungkook and Jungkook says he can see Jamie going far as an idol all he has to do is believe in himself.

[thedeafprophet]

20. Kissing in a stairwell, giving them an artificial height difference.

for Jamie and May because I think Jamie deserves to be taller than May for once sdfghkfds

20. Kissing in a stairwell, giving them an artificial height difference.

Upon The Stair

'...Is this an intrusion?” He moves forward, closer into their space, a gloved hand coming up to cup their cheek and tilt their gaze further up towards him. “And here I was, under the impression that my presence was invited. How kind of you, to remind me of my manners.” A moment between The Manager and The Author, for one must make up for any rude transgressions upon ones space.

Word count: 866

Rating: Teen Tags: Kissing, Height Differences, Mostly Just Fluffy Cute Stuff For Once

Also on ao3

Prompt list from here.

“You know,” Jamie says leaning against the archway in the hall with the quirk of a brow,“it is quite rude to intrude upon someone's home, no matter how many times you take it upon yourself to see yourself in.”

It was late too, Mary-Anne having already retired for the night, or no doubt she would have thrown a fit to see him in the home with no prior calling once more. For the best really, Jamie sheepishly knows they put the woman through enough stress already. 

Jamie had been settled in the sitting room for a late night cup of tea, reading into the latest novel they'd gotten their hands on, when they heard the oh so familiar tap of a silver capped cane, vision fuzzy on the edge of their peripheral. The clearest sign of any for an unexpected visitor, though not, of course, an unwanted one. 

Getting up to investigate, they found him standing in the entry hall, seemingly fascinated by the new painting Jamie had gotten hung upon the wall - an impressionist piece they'd purchased from an up and coming artist, always finding themself inclined to support the arts that were pushed back against. 

The Manager turns to look at them as soon as they make their statement, his ever present smile seeming slightly more genuine when his gaze meets theirs. 

“Is that so? Is this an intrusion?” He moves forward, closer into their space, a gloved hand coming up to cup their cheek and tilt their gaze further up towards him. “And here I was, under the impression that my presence was invited. How kind of you, to remind me of my manners.”

Jamie's not entirely sure why he's here tonight, as they glance up to meet his gaze. They're not in any particular state this evening, no more out of it then their baseline is these days. They shan't presume he's come just because he wanted to see them but- well, certainly he must get lonely too. A single performer can be grand, but it's only with a company that a show can truly be performed.

Jamie steps back slightly, moving out of his hold, before turning to dive under his arm in a quick movement. They move backwards toward the stairwell, turning to face him as they speak, the inkling of an idea forming in their mind.  

“Yes, it is!” Jamie can't keep down the amused smile at their play. “In fact, I think I'm rather quite insulted. It's very presumptuous of you - and a disgrace upon my honour!” They take a couple steps up onto the stairwell, before leaning on the banister to stare down at him.

Even now, it doesn't make them that far above him. They smirk down at him regardless, basking in the brief moment of being taller (or at least, being higher up). 

The Manager simply looks amused at their antics, seemingly in the mood to play along with their games. It was always fun for Jamie when he was - though, they never really did begrudge when he had other plans in mind.

“I see I have made a great error in my judgment. “ His words are laden with humour. Both of them know that Jamie cares very little about his habit of showing up unexpectedly. (Both of them know there's very little they could do about it anyways.). “Perhaps, then, there is something I must do? To account for my transgression?”

 Jamie's eyes flick down to his lips, smirk spreading out on their own face. “Oh, I don't know. Perhaps there is something, if it is to be on offer.” They lean forward towards him, leaving it to him to close the rest of the gap. 

A hand reaches up to lightly hold at the hair on the back of their head, before The Manager leans up, his lips at last meeting theirs. The scrape of his beard against their chin is familiar to them by now, but Jamie's pulse flutters all the same at the contact, eyes closing as they lean into the kiss. 

Jamie moves their hands to hold the base of the back of his head, trying to pull him closer as possible, aiming to avoid knocking his hat off just yet. They are oftly unused to this angle - it is rare that they're on the taller end of kisses, and most certainly not with him. Most events require some form of bending on his part - or other, different ways to put them on a more equal level. At least he's able to pick them up, not everyone has such capabilities.  

They're still smiling as they pull back from the kiss, breath quickened just a bit as they open their eyes to look down at him. 

The Manager smirks up at them, evidently feeling as if he'd won the interaction, but even he was still leaning forward himself, closer into their space. 

“And has that laid everything on account for? Or must I continue to abate my actions?”

“Hm, let me think on it.” Jamie says, a mischievous twinkle rising to their eyes.“What else might you have on offer?” 

They'd like to know their options first, before they decide.  

[girl-named-matty]

20 questions for fic writers

thank you for the tag @rypnami <33

How many works do you have on AO3? Seven currently! Idk how many more there will be but for now it's seven!

What's your total AO3 word count? 627,138!

What fandoms do you write for? Hogwarts Legacy but I'm more currently writing for a different fandom.

Top five fics by kudos? Passion || Sebastian Sallow is my most popular fic!

Do you respond to comments? Yes. I sometimes forget I have ao3 ngl but 99% of the time I respond to comments on wattpad if I can remember.

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Usually I try to give happy endings to stories because I'm that kind of person. So towards the end I'll have something angsty but the very end will usually end on a better note. But In The Shadow of Her has a decently angsty towards the end because it follows along with the game and In The Shadow of Magic has is angstier towards the end for several reasons lol.

What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Honestly--outside of my full fics, my one shot "Moving in" probably has the happiest ending.

Do you get hate on fics? Perhaps??? I'm not really sure. I've gotten a few off-handed comments that make me go "???" and any hate comments have been very rare.

Do you write smut? Lol nope and I never will. I'm okay with writing stories without it.

Craziest crossover? Ummm I can't really remember ever writing a crossover but me and my bsf would joke about Sebastian and Ominis going to a Jackson Wang party so?? Does that count? 😂

Have you ever had a fic stolen? YES ACTUALLY LOL. It was ages ago and I was literally like 12 y'all HAHA. The fic wasn't even GOOD but it was on Wattpad and got reposted on NovelHD. It was crazy for me to find out ngl. I didn't really care, especially cuz the fic was garbage (in my opinion now) but yeah LOL.

Have you ever had a fic translated? Not that I can recall.

Have you ever co-written a fic before? Yes. Many times. Me and my old fandom buddies from a long time ago would do it.

All time favorite ship? AAAAAAA. I hate this question because I can never decide lol. I don't really have a favorite ship but I do have some I like. I'm not going to say any outside of the HL fandom but I will name a few from my friends. @rypnami's Jamie and Jack have had my heart for so long <3 @morelikeravenbore's Aurelie and Sebastian. Ugh I just love them sm <3 @catohphm's Danny x Adelaide is SUPER cute and I love it sm <3 @keri-mcberry Keri x Sebastian OHHH MY GOSH. Keri is literally my favorite artist and everything from her is just so cute and adorable and omg I love it. <3 @boxdstars Amara x Natty. Super adorable, super funny. Props out to Natty for dealing with Amara. Love them sm <33

What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? My old fanfics from old fandoms that have just been sitting on my computer for four years LOL.

What are your writing strengths? Fluff, usually. I'm good at Angst too. Romance eehhh kinda?? I've never been in a relationship so I don't really know how it works but I've written several relationships that I think were good.

Thoughts on dialogue in another language? I used to do this a lot actually. But I doubt 100% of it was correct. Now that I'm older, I definitely hesitate more with it. But I think it's super cool and I planned on doing it for my fics but my MC's first language is Irish (Gaeilge, Irish Gaelic whatever you wanna call it lol) and in the 1800's it was even harder than it is today SOOOO in order to avoid mess ups, I just used one-word expressions most of the time.

First fandom you wrote in? Oh gosh, I can't even remember. Maybe it was Merlin??? Spirit Animals?? I don't even remember cuz it was so long ago.

Favorite fic you've written? My favorite fic is probably not even and HL one LOL. But to keep it HL, all of my books have a special place in my heart and I really can't choose. Some of them have strengths over others and that much is clear but idk if I'd ever be able to choose.

No twentieth question - I LOVE YOU GUYS AND THANK YOU FOR LISTENING TO ME YAP LOL <3

tagging: @plxnetn1ne, @endeavour12345, @superconductivebean and anyone else who wants to join in and talk abt their writing! <3

[gokartkid]

f1 fic rec list

self indulgent! my personal masterlist of hits, also theres 25 of them... 25 days of fic christmas, an advent calendar perhaps!

turn back and return by @rudesses

“No! We are climbing together,” Charles says, because Charles is very generous. He likes to phrase it that way—together. They haven’t climbed together in years.

charles/alex mountaineering au, SUCH good characterisation, the universe is so full and it has this like. longing-not-going-for-it that makes me crazy. THEE chalex fic to me. it holds tension so well and really makes you feel nervous in the high adrenaline moments, and you can tell the care that charles and alex have for each other, and their well established relationship immediately as the fic starts, which i think is so well communicated in so little time!

phantoms and pencil marks by cazio

Pierre woke to a boy sitting next to his bed. Amnesia AU

pierre/charles, amnesia au where pierres been in a accident and has severe amnesia, its written so well from his perspective you can feel his confusion the whole time and its amazing piarles but also a standout character study of pierre it has so many painful moments, i love how pierre he... is meeting charles again and again, but warped and you can see how painful it is for everyone. so so so good. it takes everything i love about amnesia fics and elevates it

Second Star to the Right by @gufettogrigio

It is stupid of Nico to even give Lewis the chance to notice. The hot water kettle is just a bit too heavy at breakfast one morning and Nico loses his grip. Lewis is next to him at the buffet table of the hotel and catches it out of reflex; Nico knows better than to think it’s kindness. He stares at where Nico’s fingers are still refusing to cooperate. "What happened to your hand?" "Nerves" - Nico answers with a shrug, glad for the double meaning in the English phrasing. It's up to Lewis how he wants to interpret it; Nico didn't lie.

nico rosberg/lewis hamilton but also jenson button/nico rosberg but separately, there are alternate endings.

SOO so so iconic, i have reread this multiple times. mind the tags, but it's an incredible nico character study, everyone in this is amazing but especially toto, this line: [Toto laughs, kindly. “You are my World Champion and I’ve only got two of those. I am invested in your continued survival. Always.”] it is everything to me. nicos mentality about himself, his feelings about racing, about the championship, about lewis. wow!

provenance by ecorone

At the end of the world, art curator Lewis Hamilton finds his way back to the artist called no5.

lewis/sebastian, genuinely like. an incredible work of art fic. it's an apocalypse - non driver - surreal fic. its setting is if the end of the world dinosaur times were happening now, and what to do with all your regrets, and follows lewis as the main character. it has so much depth to it, the writing style itself is incredible. the characterisations, the philosophies, the EVERYTHING. i left an insane comment on it just so i could spill my thoughts out better and i can't do it a second time hahaha but i would so so so highly recommend reading, to be honest even if sewis is not your thing just because. imo it is so much more than just a fic about drivers. also read their other stuff bc i do not like lewis/max as a pairing but i will vouch for ecorones interpretation as being. THEE lewis/max thesis.

echo of the future by @tetrapod7

Lewis, once on the path of the Jedi and now in the midst of the Galactic Empire, learns of the chance to save ancient Jedi texts. Max, a stormtrooper, becomes smuggler Daniel Ricciardo's copilot. They too pursue the Jedi texts -- with the hope of selling them to the Empire.  Their stories collide at the Jedi Temple on Genbara. As the danger of an Imperial Star Fleet looms large, Max, Daniel, Lewis, Seb, and Jamie have to figure out what matters most to them, what they owe to each other, and devise a plan for an unavoidable space battle with the Empire -- a battle for their future and hopes.

lewis/sebastian max&daniel i will like. forever and always be a star wars guy x i read this in one sitting it made me feel insane everything about it is perfect, all of the storylines running at once then colliding. lewis in this especially is EXCEPTIONAL, r0s-c0 made me laugh so hard when i read it. droids 4eva! the particular sw verse this is is built up perfectly there are SO many details here and so much world building it makes me want to eat it. the entire atmosphere is quintissentially star wars, a mission running on hope and a few credits. amazing &lt;3

in that iron ground by @lilyrizzy

"Maxy,” Daniel says and it sounds like he’s choking. Max frowns, deeper. He crouches in front of Daniel, resting his hands on his bare thighs. Daniel is still only wearing the boxers and undershirt he went to sleep in. Nothing’s changed. “Daniel, what is wrong?” Max repeats.  Daniel swallows. I don’t want things to change, he thinks again. “My dad’s dead," he says. Or Daniel takes Max home to Perth for a funeral.

max/daniel incredible scholarship on daniel and max, who they are to each other especially in daniels lowest moment, i love how it... it is the lowest point of daniel that we are seeing which brings out so much depth to his character, and who he is especially behind his like, media/character mask. the characterisation of daniels family, how he struggles to process the grief, the complexities around grief and the consistent running undertone of why-mine-and-not-yours surrounding max and daniels fathers. his internalised homophobia/fear of coming out. amazing

sixteen cadences for children in bloom by distressedgremlin

Pierre flips his cap around and marks it on his calendar: 2021, the year of living selfishly

pierre/charles SUCH A GOOD PIERRE. such a good pierre. he deserves to be selfish and to live selfishly. i think seeing him become so confident is so great in this fic and especially the narrative foils between him, daniil and yuki i love, how he evolves in those relationships, becoming a team leader, becoming someone who HE likes. also obsessed with distressedgremlin's sewis fics. so so so obsessed. the le mans fic is everything to me

constellation falling into place by wraysford

For some reason, the last part is what sticks in Nico’s head, you were quick, in that awed, painfully genuine tone of Lewis’, but, he hastily reminds himself, how fast or slow he was back then doesn’t matter anymore or, wherein Nico goes to university and Lewis races

nico/lewis HEARTBREAKING au to me. nico quits racing and lewis doesn't and they meet again. im obsessed with it as a nico character study and a look inside his strange little brain in this universe... its perfect. the underlying jealous and what-could-have-been in every scene, the way lewis is so. GENUINE about wanting to reconnect with him, it kills me.

tomorrow on every shore by @missyourflight

This season on Below Deck Sailing Yacht... Six weeks. Nine charters. Lots of hot tub stuff. *  “Is it not your colour?” Max says. The production team gave the whole crew new uniforms for this season, swapped their usual navy polos for something that apparently pops more on camera. It’s sort of peachy, not Max’s favourite, but it looks good on Daniel. “Please,” Daniel scoffs. “Everything’s my colour.” He bumps his hip into Max. “You weren’t tempted to go with the skort option?” Max bumps back, pretending to consider. “I thought about it, but it’s just not practical on deck, you know?” “Guests are arriving,” Christian says, his smile tight, eyes fixed ahead. “Could we attempt to act like professionals, please?” And then the guests are on the dock, and everyone puts on smiles to greet them, and it’s almost like a normal charter except for all the fucking cameras everywhere.

max/daniel, below deck au, i read this right after binging below deck med so obvs it was perfect. i love everyones characterisation especially christians. + yuki as the chef is perfect. i love the interview sections paired with whats happening in the fic bc its like... i love an unreliable perspective! fantastic au and they are so 3D fleshed out

striving for goodness while the cruel men win by @misonikomi

Lewis had been at a disadvantage. Cruelty had never been bred into her; she had to learn it one piece at a time. When she first started karting, she had tried to blend in with the other kids, an impossible feat. There had been so much violence even then, in the way the kids looked at her, spoke to her, and touched her. She had to learn that violence as well, in order to win

lewis/sebastian, gender swap au, i think one of the first and only i read because i get a bit nervous about them, but incredible, incredible thesis material. the characterisations of lewis and charles and amazing, how they change and are the same as women. perfect narrative foils for each other. sebastian and lewis' relationship in this is fantastic, how lewis' past with nico has affected her into her relationship with seb but also with f1 in general. suzie is standout in this to me, the woman-woman relationships in general are perfect

december makes me quiet by @warriorbarnes

“Hallo?” he greets, and gets to his feet.  “There is a snow storm,” are the words he’s met with. He’s taken aback at first, the accented english not what he’d expected, and has to recalibrate his brain from german to english.  His brows knit together when he realizes who it is on the other end of the line. “Charles?” he asks. or, right before Christmas, Seb gets an unexpected guest.

sebastian/charles, one of my favourite sebchal fics!!! i think it handles that line between awkwardness and getting to know each other so well. any sebchal fic that has charles being normal around sebastian is immediately inaccurate, we know his complexes! i love to read it... so comforting, being snowed in is THE premise!

lucky thirteen by @azzy421

Being the daughter of the most successful racing driver in the world (retired) comes with a lot of privilege and a few very notable downsides.  1. Dad is famous, and it makes people act weird around him and ask Ayla weird things, like what he eats for breakfast or what deodorant he uses. 2. Sometimes he gets talked into going to Germany for the summer to talk about engines and aerodynamics with Uncle Toto’s team for months on end. And this is only really annoying because - 3. He never, ever wants to talk about racing with Ayla. Ayla, head over heels in love with the world of Formula 1, is determined that she’s going to prove she has what it takes to start karting, even if it means going behind her dad’s back to do it. When she discovers that not only is there a girls-only karting group next to their temporary home in Germany but that it’s being run by four-time World Champion Sebastian Vettel (Ayla’s second-favourite driver of all time) (also retired), she is determined to seize the opportunity with both hands.  And, well. Her dad is lonely. Sebastian seems even lonelier. Solving that problem would be a nice bonus.

lewis/sebastian, i also usually never go for kid fics but this one intrigued me and it is SOOO good. seeing lewis through the lens of his kid, her passion for karting and especially his very, very real fear for her entering that world... so so so realistic and good. it has the exact right amount of self indulgence but also reality, i love seeing the 'future of f1' with mick, lando and george, and how lewis to ayla is still first and foremost her dad. sebastian in this is incredible but also this cannot be prophetic because if he did become an f1 hermit it would make me so sad xx

how to get it, how to live it by grandsprix

Alex wants to say no, because - well, because his ex was a closet case, and Charles is the kind of beautiful Alex is going to feel insecure about, and he has half a tub of strawberry cheesecake Haagen Daaz and a rental of Dune waiting for him at home after his shift, and is that worth giving up to give some French twink a blowjob in the staff bathroom? or, Alex works in a gay bar in Soho, and Charles is lost.

alex/charles, obviously love every grandprix chalex fic, but this is my favourite! i am so charmed and in love with charles' characterisation here, his clumsy confidence and how he is immediately offended by alex not wanting to have sex-sex with him haha also alex's like... slow sense of impending doom at becoming closer to him. perfect

come on, starboy by @yekoc

Daniel’s just slinging his bag over his shoulder to head out to the parking lot when there’s a noise behind him, the hollow metallic echo of a locker door slamming. Turning, he sees that kid. Max. The running back who always fumbles.  He’s standing in front of the locker he just slammed, muscles tense. His too-big mouth is drawn into a flat line. He has his phone in his hand: he looks at it, puts it in his pocket, and grinds his fist against the bank of lockers in front of him.  “Hey,” Daniel says, because he feels creepy now, just looking.  The kid looks up at him, startled.  “Oh,” he says. “Hi.”

max/daniel, obviously like anyone reading this list will have read this or if you haven't you should?? max and daniel are perfect in this actually perfect. it has that... stuck in a small town that you are outgrowing but will you ever be able to stretch. standout to me: the spectre of max's dad. we hardly see him properly but you can tell the impact he is having on max, and by extent on daniel. this is also possibly my favourite lewis, second only to new wave (new emotion). the way he steals the show for me in every scene he is in, his college aspirations, fears for the future, wanting to gone beyond the simplistic perceptions of him... amazing. number 2 yekoc favourite is glory from a high rise but i am only reccing one per author strictly to not make this list insane

the heartbeat is a hunger by @thelittlebirdthatkeptsomanywarm

2019 FORMULA ONE SPORTING REGULATIONS Art. 34: BONDING Teams are required to register all bonds between drivers with the FIA at the beginning of each season. New bonds must be formally recognized through a bonding ceremony under supervision of at least one FIA representative [...]. Art. 34.1 [added on 1.01.1993] Bonds between drivers competing for different teams are prohibited. I'm so unused to being - well, understood perhaps. - Vladimir Nabokov's first letter to his future wife, Véra

lewis/sebastian, lewis/nico, SUCH a good bonding au... a really interesting look into how dystopian something like this could get, and i think a realistic look into how sports is constantly pushing us to the limit so if there were more ways to do so.... they absolutely would take advantage? lewis and nico's relationship is so interesting here, and seb as the trope inversion is SOOO. it is so well executed.

new wave (new emotion) by nothoughtsjustvibes

In which Max realizes he’s in love with Daniel and flies to Colorado to make it Lewis’s problem. Lewis just wants him to leave – preferably on a plane to Australia.

max/daniel lewis&max, my favourite lewis. ever!!!!!! max in this is STELLAR as well, their relationship is so so funny and so well balanced, i mostly love how... lewis deals with AD21 mentally in this? and how he's like urgh max is here? i will be nice. to hey. max is pretty cool :) in a very organic sense and also lewis being a mentor figure when i have 2022 lh superimposed over 2008-2016 menace lh in my mind is very funny. lewis micromanaging max's problems to fix them is my favourite thing, also every small interaction with charles in here is brilliant.

crude generalisations and vulgar simplifications by @janinaduszejko

Alex remembers attending his first Cabinet meeting - he’d been awed by the imposant room, the history this place held, where wars had been declared, disasters averted and ensured, with its stately inner ring of ministers, surrounded by the bustling outer ring filled with their advisors and assistants. The gratitude he had felt in that moment, being a part of the centre of it all, the place where power housed. Almost six hours later, he’d stumbled out of the stuffy room with George at his side, eyes wide with commiseration as he’d led Alex through the narrow halls.  “These ministers.” Alex had said, a hollow look in his eyes. “Are they all-?” “Afraid so.” George’s voice had been kind, but knowing, like he’d expected this and had grimly prepared himself.  “Halfwits.” Alex had moaned, as George had patted him on the back in sympathy. “Fools and idiots, every last one of them.”

george/alex, so so osos oso os good. i LOVE a political au i love intrigue i love stupidity i love jargon <3 and this baby has it all!!! i love any kind of misunderstanding/torment in a fic and in this one... alex u are so good at torment <3 george also coming up with the weirdest solution to their workplace romance is SO him. christian horner in this made me laugh a lot. this was i think the start of my galex downfall

steal the air out of my lungs (make me feel it) by @baking-soda

Max has never been so tired in his life. He can’t believe he’s going into call like this, that he couldn’t get to sleep last night. What an idiot. “Hey,” Daniel says, sauntering into a work room balancing a green smoothie and two large coffees from the caf. He puts one in front of Max. “You ready to save lives, Maxy?”

max/daniel obviously like. titular maxiel material, but i read it again and often! i am not a med student by any means but ive done placements in hospitals + medsci papers and reading this was like. it is exactly the feeling! when ur in it and you are a cog in a very big machine made for helping people and it is the most exhausting thing you have ever done but the most fulfilling... max in this fic is so so so amazing. the dissonance between how he sees himself and everyone else around him sees him. scenes that stick with me: when hes going to text his dad about the intubation but then he deletes everything because he thinks it wasn't impressive even though he had just been riding high. and every scene where he comforts the rookies but he like.. doesn't even realise himself he's doing it. to him he is being normal. love &lt;3

Invent us as we were (real tears, hard love) by diamondcrystalink

“Seb, aren't you freaked out?” Every human who doesn’t work with mimic engineering hates seeing mimics down to their components, it's said to ruin the illusion. Sebastian didn't even hesitate to help him. “Why would I be? It's just you,” Sebastian replied without much thought, his concentration on shaping the lattice to the gash. - Charles is an android who should have had his memory wiped at the start of the season per regulation, Ferrari decided otherwise. Sebastian doesn't know.

sebastian/charles, android-au-i-love-you! illegal ferrari goings on i love you!!! i am forever and always a sci fi lover and this hits all the spots for me, the idea of charles as the golden boy of ferrari because he was literally made crafted and perfected by them, the ethics/philosophies of being an android (charles hating remembering that he is), the way it starts and ends with a dream as well, bookended perfectly. so so good

the alps by @grandprix-ao3

Yuki catches his first glance of Pierre somewhere without him in pre-season testing. He’s blue and pink, he’s glowing, a flat-brimmed cap with Alpine’s A emblazoned on it sitting backwards on his head. Pierre and his sunglasses, the microphones in his face, the questions, the novelty, the half-arrogant grins. “He looks different in pink,” Liam remarks, halfway to a joke. Yuki hates it. It reminds him of all the distance between them, all the words he’s too scared—too late to say. There’s a gap between them, now. It's mountainous. It’s brutal.

yuki/pierre, this is one of my favourite all time yukierre fics so i couldn't not include it. every single thing about it is perfect, yuki struggling with his feelings, the way he and pierre are drawn to each other again and again. the struggle with what people seem to see so easily and making that real. ALL TIME!

cleaner better breed by @toastandvegemite

The lights inside the glass box turned on and Daniel saw the android for the first time. Something hooked in his chest. “Did they have to make it look so real?” he murmured to Michael, turning his head slightly. (RedBull builds a robot driver. They call it Max.)

max/daniel this had me on the edge of my seat the whole time, the idea already of technology displacing high risk/reward activities like sport is so fascinating combined with the fact that sports is such a political tool in terms of soft power, almost unmatched, so how to wield that soft power effectively with a robot? make him a bit human and likeable. all of daniels internal monologues feel so true to form throughout this fic, and the ending. AGH! catch! love this au

Everything I do, I'm gonna think of you by @misonikomi

Charles's eyes scan up and down his body, expression somewhat unimpressed. Seb takes inventory of himself. Nondescript jeans, gray Puma sneakers, plain gray t-shirt. Not much to look at, he admits. Or: Charles is Bella Hadid, if Bella Hadid used to kart and was also a bit disillusioned with modeling, and Seb is still Seb.

sebastian/charles, SUCH A GOOD AU!!! i love fashion and i love f1... this is like a perfect in between. a really really good charles character study again i love taking the drivers out of their... natural habitats! and this as well, it doesn't shy away from how charles in this universe has lead to quitting karting, homophobia, gender etc. and sebastian is so unabashedly seb and them learning how to be together and charles gradually showing more of himself... the modelling world in this as well is so rich. its so good!!!

home (is wherever I'm with you) by actparci

On the drive back to the hotel Max had turned to him, blue eyes fierce and piercing.  “Promise me you won’t stop being angry. You’re angry because you know what you can do. Use it, control it, let it fuel you. Other people won’t understand but that doesn’t matter, you know what you’re capable of.” You and me, he’d seemed to say, we’re the same. Charles wonders now how he ever thought Max wouldn’t understand. Or: Charles leaves Ferrari, tries to win a championship, and learns some things about belonging. All the while, Max is there

max/charles, i do not read much lestappen at all but this was amazing. charles moving to red bull and its done so well, because. i am a forza-ferrari-forza-charles guy forever but i am also addicted to alternate universes! all of the moments where there are differences between the teams, having the cheesy but so emotionally cathartic races and interactions and wins... its too good!

For the thrill of it all by @boxboxlewis

Charles unfolds from his headstand with cervine grace and stands up. “Geooooorge,” he says slowly. “George, George… George.” His eyebrows fly up, and he narrows his eyes at Alex. “Your friend who needs a place to stay for a few days, he is George? The George from your classes? That one? Posh George?”

george/alex, this is a series so technically cheating... essential george characterisations here! they are both so british (deeply derogatory) all of the dialogue is so perfect!!! i love their dynamic as flatmates, charles i love you but if i were flatting with him id kill him xx [If this were real, if they were dating, he wouldn’t fuck George, not tonight; he would draw it out, the anticipation, he would allow them the luxury of a long slow discovery. As it is he pulls back] my favourite line because alex is in every universe deluded. that boy loves you!

transmotion by heroics

Vettel's eyes fly to Lewis's, and he looks as shocked as Lewis feels. Then he grins. "You again." "Me again," Lewis says. He's lived in Frankfurt nearly four years now, and the German feels clumsy on his tongue in a way it hasn't since those first few months.

sebastian/lewis, literally what can i say. football, fashion designer au. the sebastian in this fic is so well fleshed out, and i love how its the.. uncertainty of being between stages in life, and how they struggle as adults with their relationship. lewis having moments of unintentional cruelty that they have to pull apart, and sebastian the same, the perils of homophobia in sport. charles and pierre in this i love, when pierre and lewis talk about his fashion show. pierre is a lh fanboy in every universe!

okay. that's it! they are literally in no order and also so muddled i am so sorry. if you are on this list i am such a big fan of you and just want to show my appreciation xx

[uramilf]

hi love can I request some angst with a happy ending. singer y/n and matty being official but y/n is having some trouble with her reputation lately (inspired by the whole taylor & kanye beef) so she tries to breakup with matty in order to protect him and not drag him anymore (saying he deserves better or something like that) so she booked a flight and goes back to her hometown but then our sweet lover boy matty chases her then one day he knocks at her door and they talk it out ;* I really need some angsty happy ending rn thank you my love!

A/N: Okay I loved this is I decided to turn it into a proper oneshot, thank you anon!! Fair warning: I'm not fully sure what happened between Taylor and Kanye but I know he accused her of not deserving an award so that's what I went with in this fic! Sorry if that wasn't what you meant!!

Warnings: angst, swearing, very sad shenanigans ensue

Reputation

"Y/n Y/l/n is currently in some hot water with pop music fans as she is accused of robbing other artists of Artist of the Year award. Y/l/n may have won multiple awards this year, but did she really deserve them?"

"Music sensation Y/n Y/l/n is a talented artist, fans agree, but it looks like her time in the industry could be limited as other artists express their upset at her recent win - could her rockstar boyfriend Matty Healy be the real reason for her success?"

"Brit award and Grammy holder Y/m Y/l/n slammed for her recent success this award season as she is called 'undeserving and untalented'. Her boyfriend, frontman of the global phenomenon The 1975, is yet to speak on the issue after being accused of helping her to acquire her fanbase."

You shut your laptop with a slam before you could delve any deeper into the comments being made about you online. You had been ecstatic with your recent win, and as Matty had also won an award the same night, you two felt invincible. That was until you began to be talked about negatively following your win, and you started to doubt how deserving of it you were. You started to believe what was being said about you online. That out of the hugely talented list of nominees, you were the least exciting. You started asking yourself if the only reason your fanbase had expanded was because of Matty. You wondered if you would lose fans in the event of a breakup.

It only took a few hours for the tabloids to bring Matty into the situation. They accused him of writing all your songs for you. Of course you had collaborated with him in the past, but you had credited him as a co-writer. The rest of your discography was your own. Matty was accused of begging Jamie to sign you at Dirty Hit, but of course you had been signed due to your musical talent and songwriting ability. In fact, you hadn't even known Matty before you were publicly represented by the label. Nevertheless, you could see you boyfriend beginning to be dragged down by the accusations made against you. You knew you couldn't let it happen. He had built such a successful music career for himself, and you couldn't be the reason he lost respect in the industry. It was going to hurt, but you knew what you had to do.

-----------------------

You had booked yourself on the first flight back to your hometown and told your parents you were coming to stay. Your stuff was packed up in boxes, ready to be transported back home, while your essentials were in a suitcase by the door. You sat anxiously on the sofa waiting for Matty to arrive home from the studio. When he did, you could hear him ranting from the second he opened the door. "Babe! Have you seen what those fuckers at The Sun have said now? This is bullshit!" He didn't get much further before spotting your suitcase. "What's this? What are you -" "Matty, I'm sorry?" "What are you talking about? Tell me what's going on!" "I never wanted you to be dragged into this. My reputation is ruined. It's only a matter of time before the label drops me." "That's bullshit babe, and you know it! Jamie loves you like family, he's gonna get you through this." Matty took your hand. "Please don't listen to what the press is saying, babe. You deserved those awards. And you have never lied about writing your own music. Now will you please tell me what's happening?" "I'm leaving, Matty. I'm going home." "That's ok baby, you just need a break. How long will you be gone?" You just shook your head at him, a tear falling down you face. You couldn't say it. "Darling, please, what are you saying?" "We need to break up, Matty. I need to protect you from this. You deserve so much more than me. More than the person who's ruining your image over a stupid fucking award."

Matty's face fell immediately. His eyes filled with tears and you could barely look at him knowing the hurt you had caused him. "I'm sorry," you whispered, and turned to leave. "No. Absolutely not." Matty caught you hand and pulled you to him. "You can't leave, not after everything we've been through. I love you. I need you." "I love you too, Matty. More than anything in the world. That's why I have to go. You love your music, and I can't let you be dragged down by my reputation anymore. We can't be together. We just can't."

--------------------------

As you lay in bed in your rented apartment near your hometown, your mind wandered to the look on Matty's face when you walked out on him three months earlier. He cried when you left, you could hear him sobbing behind you as you walked out the door. You had seen him cry before, but never like that, and it scared you. Maybe that's why you were so quick to leave. You didn't want to see the damage you had caused.

The comments online and the seemingly never-ending news articles had died down, of course. Not even a week later, some actor you had never heard of said something problematic and you were left alone. As for the public, they began to see sense and you had received hundred of comments on your social media saying things along the lines of "We support you Y/n!" or "We all know you deserve every bit of success." It was encouraging, but you felt you weren't ready to return to the studio yet. More than that, you weren't ready to return to the label and potentially face Matty.

It must have been one in the morning when you were awakened by frantic knocking on your door. Startled, you jumped out of bed and ran to the door. You opened the door a crack, and your breath caught in your throat when you saw who it was. Matty Healy, with his curls tousled by the wind, tearstains on his cheeks and a tiredness in his eyes you had only seen when he returned from a tour. He must have gotten off a flight and come straight to you. You swung the door open and he tensed up when he saw the worried look on your face.

"What the fuck are you doing here? Is everyone ok?" "Everyone's fine, darling. Except me." "What? What happened?" "You. You happened. I can't be alone anymore love, I just can't. I need you back home with me." "Matty, you know I can't do that." "And why the hell not? All that stuff with the press cleared up after you left me." "And what if it starts back up again? I can't let you be dragged down by me again." Matty took your face in his hands. "Listen to me darling, please. I simply can't be away from you any longer. I have never loved someone like I love you. I don't care what those fuckers on the internet have to say about me. I would have my reputation ruined a thousand times for you. I would do anything for you, I would die for you. You know that. So why won't you come home and be with me?"

You couldn't stay away from him for a moment longer either. You threw yourself into his arms and started to cry into his chest, his fingers running through your hair to soothe you. He was whispering between pressing kisses to your head. You couldn't hear what he was saying, but it was comforting. Matty picked you up with ease and you threw your legs around his waist, still crying. He shut the door behind him and walked you over to the sofa, where he stayed with you, holding you tightly in his arms until you had calmed down. "There, angel. You're ok." "I'm sorry, Matty. I didn't know I had upset you so much." "Of course you did, babe. How could you ever think I would be better off without you?" You almost started crying again, overcome with guilt, but Matty took you in his arms again. "Don't cry, sweet girl. It's ok, I'm not upset anymore. But I don't give a shit about what's being said about me online, as long as I have my best girl with me." He wiped away your tears and pressed a sweet kiss to your lips, the first in months. "I wanted to go back, I really did," you assured Matty. "But I thought you would have forgotten about me and moved on. And I definitely thought you stopped loving me." Matty's heart sank at your small voice and he mentally kicked himself for not calling you more times after you moved away. He kissed your cheek reassuringly and brushed your hair behind your ear, before pulling your closer and speaking in a low tone into your ear.

"I could never forget you, angel. And I have never stopped loving you."

[player1064]

loving these drabbles and in need of some nice fluffiness so any chance for carraville being cute and very openly in love and slightly affectionate during the bts bits before stick to football :)

bts bits of stick to football are my LIFE FORCE honestly like. they're so insane about each other. they're SO insane about each other. also we r on the same wavelength bc literally all weekend I've been imagining what the bts bits would be like if they were all gross and couple-y and I have come to the conclusion that they would be INSUFFERABLE. obviously. and ignore everyone else to talk all sweetly to each other about random nonsense I HATE THEM!!!

---

“You’re sittin’ very far away, are you sittin’ far away?”

“I think –” Jamie starts, then has to pause so that the makeup artist can tilt his head slightly “—I think it’s the same as always, in’t it? Not like there’s much space back ‘ere, anyway.”

“Oh.”

Gary looks forlornly at his stool and gets up onto it, looking back and forth between himself and Jamie a few times as he does. He reaches across the table for a croissant, tears a piece off the end to nibble at tragically.

“Jamie, what is wrong with you, man?” asks Wrighty as he walks up to the bar with Roy. “Look at him, he’s all out of sorts! Can’t you shift your chair right an inch or two?”

Someone in the background mumbles something about camera positioning and tape markers on the floor, and Roy waves a hand towards them in agreement. “The chairs are exactly the same as they are every week! Jesus, Wrighty, you’re too soft on the lad.”

Jamie knows a losing battle when he sees one, mainly because every battle with Gary is a losing one, so he shifts his stool an inch closer to Gary’s.

“There, was’at so hard?” Gary says triumphantly, turning to Jamie all glowy, like.

They’re now sitting close enough that Jamie can knock his knee into Gary’s, which he does before he turns to the others and rolls his eyes.

Jill wanders over and starts chatting to Roy and Wrighty about something, weekend plans or football games maybe, Jamie’s not really paying attention. He takes the momentary pause in conversation on their side of the table to turn and look at Gary, leaning an arm on the counter so that he can rest his head in his hand.

Gary mirrors the gesture, kicks one foot out to gently knock the side of Jamie’s ankle. “Hiya,” he murmurs.

It’s annoying, how easily this filthy Manc can make him go all soft. “Hi yourself,” he replies with a smile. “Yer gonna out us to all your subscribers, you carry on like this.”

“Eh, we’ll edit around it,” Gary says, with all the confidence of someone who has no idea how editing works. “I missed ya, y’know.”

“I’ve only been in London two days, lad, y’don’t need to be so clingy. ‘s not becoming of a lady.”

“Shush, you. I were thinkin’, yeah, maybe when season’s over we could go somewhere for a bit.”

“Oh, you were thinkin’ were ya?”

“Mmm, somewhere warm. With private beach, maybe.”

“Won’t you have the Euros?”

“Dunno, maybe I’ll skip ‘em this year. Take it easy, like.”

Jamie never thought he’d see the day that Gary Neville willingly turned down work, and yet – he grins at him, reaches forwards to flick at Gary’s chest fondly.

He hears someone clear their throat, which instantly pulls him back to his surroundings and to the fact that the other conversations in the room seem to have ended. He huffs a laugh and leans back, raises an eyebrow at Roy.

Roy looks between Jamie and Gary with a smirk. Gary, seemingly unaware, closes the newly formed space between them by reaching over to tap Jamie on the elbow.

“Jamie,” he says, “Jamie, can you pass me the toffee popcorns?”

“No, they’re no good for ya,” Jamie replies. “’ave a satsuma instead.”

He makes the mistake of glancing over to Gary as he says this, who shoots him the most miserable little pout he’s ever seen in his life.

He wordlessly slides the bowl of popcorn over to him.

“Jamie,” Roy says, biting into the mini roll that Wrighty’s just handed him, “You have a problem. Seriously, I think you need help. An intervention, or summat.”

“Aw, no, I think it’s sweet,” says Jill. “Weren’t you ever young an’ in love?”

“They’re nearly fifty!”

[youstopmyheartfrom50feets]

Angst/Very Light Suggestive Smut. 2847 words. Inspired by the song 'The Other Woman' by Lana Del Rey.

Trigger warnings:- cheating/infidelity, suggestive mature themes, mature language.

A/N:- Play this video in the background for an enhanced reading experience.

3rd Person POV

She quickly brushed her fingers through her curls for the last time and looked at her reflection in the mirror in a quick glance. She could see a perfectly dolled-up woman with thousands of hopes and desires in her eyes. She smiled to herself and sprayed his favourite french perfume all over her.

She rushed down the stairs into the living room and glanced at the clock. It was almost midnight. It wasn't uncommon for James to come home this late but she was kind of hoping he'd come early tonight.

Today was their Anniversary and she knew he didn't forget because he himself wished her this morning. She couldn't help but feel the butterflies in her stomach when she remembered his words this morning.

It was like any other day, she woke up to an empty bed which she made with so much perfection, not a single wrinkle was to be seen. James usually returned home late and slept in the guest room, so as to not disturb her. She was going through her daily routine of freshening up and then preparing breakfast for her and James in the kitchen, when she heard footsteps approaching her. Thinking he was just there to grab a glass of water like every morning she didn't pay much attention to him but something unusual happened in a very usual morning. James grabbed his glass of water but instead of heading back out he turned to his left and kissed her temples.

"Happy Anniversary, Love." He said in his husky, morning voice."

"You too, Jamie." She replied, barely able to keep of that girlish smile off her face.

He just smiled at her and went on with his routine, unaware of the beautiful storm brewing in her heart.

His one little jesture made her clean the entire house, change every curtain, every bedsheet, every pillow cover.She even cut a bunch of flowers from the backyard and put them in each room. She went on to have a full spa treatment and get all embossed for her Jaime.

He was so sweetly unaware of the effect he had on her, how his little jestures would put a smile on her just like the one playing on her lips right now.

She was staring at her manicured nails when the sparkling diamond embedded in her engagement ring. Her smile widened thinking about the day he proposed.

It was a crisp Autumn evening and James had invited her to meet him at a park near River Thames. She had dressed up as good as possible and with a rosy glow on her cheeks due to the cold breeze, she got the location a few minutes earlier. When James arrived a few minutes late, the sun was already setting, reflecting a beautiful scarlet hue on the river. If an artist were to paint the scenery, he would've gotten confused as to which was a brighter shade of red, the sunset or her billowy hair. In that serene environment, James bent down on one knee and got straight to the point.

"Love, I suck at speeches so I won't waste my time on confessing my eternal love for you, so without the cliched confession, will you marry me?"

She couldn't say anything. Water sparkled both in the river and her green eyes. She could do nothing but bite her lips and nod her head in a yes.

Moments later Sirius and Peter would jump out of the bushes, congratulating them.

She couldn't help but go down the memory lane. The lane that took her back to Hogwarts. She clearly remembered the day she officially met James. There wasn't a single soul in Hogwarts who didn't know that Marauders. She did too, in fact she was close friends with Remus, close enough to know about his 'little fury secret', but this closeness was limited to only Remus. His friends were mere acquaintances to her, the only contact with them being the polite smile that she gave them while acknowledging Remus.

It was one fateful day, she was sitting under a willow tree, reading a book, when Sirus practically dragged James in front her and spoke to her with a grin.

"Hello Moony's friend, I am Moony's other friend Sirius and he is Moony's other, other friend James. James here wants some new female company, will you please do the honours of being James' first girlfriend in his sixteen year long life." Sirius gave his monologue with a dramatic tone.

She had to quickly settle down the butterflies dancing in your stomach and said with a smile,

"I'd love to but only if you wouldn't tag along with us on our dates."

This made James laugh and assure her,

"Don't worry, if he does something like that, I would personally hex him."

That tone if assurance and the charming smile made the heat creep up her cheeks.

She remembered their first date, his romantic dialogues and the warm butterbeer they had shared.

She remembered their first kiss. It was out in the open, in the middle of the yard, beside the fountain, with atleast 50 students watching. She had felt a sense of pride bloom in her when he decided to show the world who she belonged to.

And how could she forget the night they lay together the first time. The nervousness, the excitement, the desire were all making her dizzy. She was visiting James' parents for the first time, it was a big step for them but she was ready. In the night, James had snuck in her room to makeout with her but things going a little too heated and James asked her the question, his hands moving all over her body.

"Wanna do it?, I can cast the protection spell."

It was a simple question but it sent shock waves throughout hey body. She did what she did almost all the time in front of him. She bit her lips and nodded her head.

If she closed her eyes she could still feel his hands on her bare body. How he took his time with her, covering her neck in hickeys, sending waves of pleasure down her spin.

She remembered the increase in her heartbeat seeing him all bare in front of. A sight only she could witness

"Try to keep it low and ask me to stop if it becomes too much." He had said to her gently.

He then proceeded to give her a taste of heaven, he made her wish for the time to stop, so that he continues the movements with his hips for the rest of eternity.

No drug in this world could have given her the feeling of ecstasy that the feeling of being full with James gave her.

Thinking of that night still makes her stomach tighten and her body to long for his touch.

James had always been dedicated to his work, which resulted in him coming home late and finding her asleep in their bedroom. Their intercourse had become rare, only doing the deed on special occasions. Today was such an occasion, they had been married for two years.

Too lost in her thoughts, the lonesome queen didn'tnotice that James had already entered their house. It was only when James stumbled upon the coat rack that she noticed his presence. She quickly rushed towards the doorway to support James. When she got near him she could easily smell the Fire Whiskey coming from him. She could've sworn she heard something crack inside of her.

She quickly helped him up the stairs in their bedroom. She lay him on the bed and removed his shoes. She moved towards his face to take off his glasses when he took hold of her hand and pulled her on the other side of the bed.

He started scattering kisses on her neck and taking of her clothes. He took off her expensive pashmina shawl and threw it at the ground like it costed noting. He wasted no time and practically ripped out the Satin dress from her body.

He took a moment to appreciate her matching lace undergarments but then went back to devouring her lips with a ferocious passion. He quickly freed himself from his clothes and again hovered over her. Usually James would hold both her hands on top of her head. To spice things up, they even tried bondage from time to time, so she had rarely touched him during coitus. But, tonight he did nothing of the sort, he used one hand to keep him hovering over her and the other buried deep inside her underpants, his lips never leaving hers.

In the heat of the moment,even if she tried to place her hands on his back but every time he would place them back on the top of her head but tonight he didn't stop her from touching him. She scratched his back with her long nails, eliciting a grown from his lips. To her his sounds of pleasure were the purest form of music. This new-found intamacy was making her crave for more.

She saw stars when James suddenly entered her, making the both of them moan at the same time. He kept rutting in her wet pussy in a feverish pace. She felt all sorts of vibrations in her body, lust for her husband fogging her eyes. She bit James' ear to fasten his pace. She covered his neck with hickeys.

The perfect rythm of James' hips drew both of them near the edge. She could feel the knot in her stomach tighten more and more after each thrust and also how his pace was faultering. She felt him twitch inside her but then something happened that destroyed every strand of pleasure in her body.

"Lily! Shit I'm close." Those were the first words James had spoken to her on their Anniversary night.

That name. That damn name. The name that had been the bane of her existence.

One moment her face that was contoured in a sensual expression, the other it was stoic like an statue. Her body became numb, jerking back and forth due to James' thrusts.

James' didn't last much longer after that and came inside of her with a string of curses and that wretched name.

"Fuck, fuck , fuck fuck! Lily! Shit!"

She could faintly hear his heavy breathing over her thudding heartbeats.

She felt the crack inside her grow every second and before she knew it, a single tear fell from the corner of her eye, something inside her shattering like glass.

She came back to her senses when James lifted his weight off her and fell limp on the other side of the bed.

She got up from the bed and cleaned herself in the bathroom. She then wore his shirt that was thrown carelessly on the ground. That's when she realised that it wasn't her heart that shattered, it was the bubble she had created when she started going out with James.

She knew it because, she couldn't just smell the Fire Whiskey and his woody perfume from his shirt, she could smell the citrusy perfume that clearly belonged to a female. Now, she could also clearly see the red lipstick stains on his collar that was smuged in an attempt to clean it.

She couldn't wear the shirt anymore, since she felt another presence beside her husband's. She quickly removed it as if it was burning her body and threw it back on the floor.

Instead she opted to wear one of her night gowns and climbed down stairs. She went down to the kitchen and started boiling water in the kettle for a cup of tea. Then she sat down on the dinning table, gulping down the dinner she made for James.

She wondered to herself, how could she be so blind. She saw those little gestures in a whole different light now.

Sirius made him ask her out when Lily refused to go out with him for a thousandth time, this time clearly stating that she wanted to focus on her career and he stood no chance whatsoever.

During their first date, they were not alone in The Three Broomsticks, just a few tables away was Lily Evans along with her friends.

When he kissed her in the open yard, Lily was one of the 50 students. She refused to believe it back then but now she was sure that James' eyes did flicker toward the bench where Lily was sitting.

The once one of the most romantic proposals In her eyes, had now become a hollow moment lacking any and all emotions on his sight.

She now remembered Remus' absence that day and the conversation that they had after that.

"Didn't James tell you he was gonna propose?" She had asked him.

"He did." Remus had replied munching on his chocolate.

"Then why weren't you there with Sirius and Peter." She had questioned back.

"That's because I don't want you to marry him."

"But why?"

"Why? You don't see why? Hon, he doesn't love you, you're a replacement for Lily. Please don't do this, he won't keep you happy." Remus had voiced his concerns.

She didn't say anything back and got up from her place.

" You'll get the card in a few days, please come, I don't have many people whom I call my friends."

But when Remus didn't show up at their wedding either, she went to his place to confront him.

"How could you do this Rem. Your two closest friends tied a knot and you didn't find the time to at least show up."

"I have told you this before and I'm going to say it again, I don't think he'll keep you happy and I couldn't come and just watch my closest friend get her life ruined by my other close friend." Remus had calmly answered her.

"What makes you think he won't keep me happy!" She had screamed at him.

"Honey....... Other women are never happy." He had hesitated a bit.

"Remus, I am married to him, how can I possibly be the other woman."

"The other woman isn't the mistress, dove, it's the woman who's the second choice and you know Lily has always been his first choice. It's a matter of time before they get together behind your back, I have seen the way they look at each other." Remus had explained.

"James would never do that to me and Lily clearly told him he wanted to focus on her career." She had reasoned.

"And now that she is an accomplished healer, she would want to focus on other aspects of her life." Remus had tried to explain the situation.

"I'll never be the other woman, I will always be better than her." She had stated.

And it was true, she was better than her. Lily was academically brilliant but she was both academically and athleticaly strong. She was the keeper for her house quidditch team. Lily didn't care about her looks but she was always dressed up in perfectly crisp uniform or in an outfit that complimented the latest fashion trend. She was better than her in every aspect and Lily knew this. She had said so herself. Lily visited her in the dressing room when she was getting ready for her wedding.

"You look beautiful." Lily had complimented.

"Thanks."

"You know I have always been jealous of you. You're perfect in all the aspects where I fail." Lily had stated, masking her jealousy in laughter.

After only a few months of their marriage, people had began warning her about the budding proximity between her husband and a certain red-head but she had chosen to ignore them and stay in her bubble. But today when her husband moaned her rival's name in her ear, her bubble had bursted and the reality had hit her hard on the face.

She put the empty plate on the sink and went back to her bedroom to find her man sprawled on the bed.

She carefully placed herself in the empty space on the bed, her back facing the man she loved. The pain of loving a man who would never love her back seemed new to her but the feeling felt oddly familiar.

Her gaze went on the wall where James had stuck countless polaroids accounting for the countless happy moments of his life but one polaroid always caught her attention.

The picture of her standing alone in a wheat field in her wedding dress. Whenever she saw this photo before today, she could see a Happy woman, hopelessly in love with her man. But now a she could see was her future.

A future where she'll cry herself to sleep e every night. A future where as the years pass she'll be alone.

All Alone.

-----------x----------x---------x------------

A/N:- I reposted this because I got a Community label, so I changed the smutty part and made it Pg 13. If you want to read the original version, I'll be uploading it on my Wattpad soon.

<3<3<3

[layalu]

OC Summary

Woo look i'm finally making an oc intro post on here! This is def non exhaustive and a lot of these guys are old/inactive, but i tried to include the ones that are the most likely to come up xdd Might add more in the future, but this is them for now :]

[continues under the cut]

first of, some og kiddos! most of these originated in rpg/growing species groups on dA but are just unaligned ocs now

Dawn

the only exception to the above statement xd She's my avatar/mascot, essentially! There isn't much else to her honestly. Fun fact about her name origin though: My warriors.. sona, i guess? was called Morgenröte, or Dawnlight when i used her in english contexts, so Dawn's name is a callback to that c: I also considered naming her Morgan as a reference to "Morgen"

Kiran

Used to be a very spunky kid before Trauma TM happened and depression beat her ass. She's been getting better though! Used to be best friends with Lacrima but they've since grown apart. Loves animals and started working on Sam's farm partime.

Lacrima

Smart, self-sufficient, maybe a liiittle fucked up by when she god hellbent on vengeance oops. Lost her closeness with a bunch of her childhood friends during that time. Still a bit all over the place but has found she enjoys administrative work.

Noé

Local theatre kid, and a freelance artist. Which art? That changes with the wind. He has trouble committing to things but that's because so many things in this world are interesting!

Sam

Bit softie with abandonment issues. Loves his family and LARPing and his asshole horse named Sir Samuel II. Works on his farm full time but tries making as much time for his friends and family as possible. Childhood friends with Tumble.

Tumbleweed

A gentle giant who practically lives in the water. Life motto: motto: can't be disappointed by life if you don't expect anything! Works as a life guard and swim instructor. Childhood friends with Sam

Quentin

The swetest potato, but has trouble making friends. A casual but enthusiastic collector with a love for tinkering! Has a workshop together with Flora where he does repair work on mostly on non-mechanical things

Flora

Timid, but inquisitive and creative. Original founder of her now shared workshop which started as a mech repair shop and now entails "anything we can fix!"

Desertblaze

One of my oldest ocs! She's been (re)used a bunch and has been through some shit but always managed to keep finding beauty and love in life. She is. Very near and dear to my heart <3

Nightscar

Tbh i have not used him in a hot minute but i wanted to include him cos he's pretty u.u Also a very old oc; his og name was Schattenjäger (shadowhunter) lol. The first version of him drowned though rip.

Stormyrain

Another fave :] Spunky and full of wanderlust. Her cat version has been inactive for a long time but i love reusing iterations of her cos she is fun and i love her.

Kokosamu

Smug little shit who is equipped with an ego that is way too big for his tiny body. Despite this he is not as bad as he seems! Mostly. He does mean well.

Styrnlona

Big arms, big heart, big hopes. Grew up in a family of fishers and hopes to win lots of money at the coliseum for her family. Turns out that is Really Hard though.

Mikh'a

Is here to avoid responsibilities out of boredom and because adventurers get paid well, right? Well wouldn'tcha know, adventuring is dangerous! oops.

Ulhar

(Ex-)entertainer, professional bullshitter, and apparently a hero now? Ugh. Really just wants to get rid of the worm in her brain, please. Would love to say she doesn't care about anything but unfortunately for her she cares A Lot.

Jamie

The Cooler Sister, bestie of Cove, aspiring marine biologist (?) (still undecided on that). If you see me call her Stormy, it's because she is an iteration of Stormyrain xd

[mintybagels]

hii!! so i'm trying to learn how to draw & get better at drawing human figures, and i find it really helps me if i copy from previously drawn things in a more cartoony style rather than an actual photograph. would you be objected to me using a couple of your works as a study? i really only want to learn how to draw for fanart (ive been trying to get more into creating in fandoms rather than just reading fanfic etc.) and for art classes in school. do you have any tips on drawing/art/getting better at art in general? thank you soso much !!! - robyn

oh yea no problem! idm people using my stuff for reference although it is still important to study from life sometimes

I'm mostly self taught and learned from drawing off my fav artists like badturquoise, pegibruno (hi Stas <3), Jamie Hewlett etc. but if you only copy from artists then you'll copy their mistakes as well without knowing especially when it comes to more technical stuff like anatomy.

what's improved my actual posing/human forms the best has been learning how to think in 3D and just doodling compositions until they look right. That and taking actual figure drawing classes in the college I'm in rn has been helping quite a lot. There's lots of free figure drawing classes and recordings online, and I also really love copying poses from the rollerblading videos posted by flowskate on YouTube. cafe drawing, and just really developing your observational skills is the backbone to developing your creative eye

really try to push your angles and forms to the extreme because perspective is very intuitive when you've spent the time really learning the technical skills as a foundation

I'll also be uploading more process stuff on YouTube and more specifics on ko fi soon, and if you have any questions (or anyone reading this really) feel free to hmu !

I wish you luck with your art :)

[queenofbaws]

For the behind-the-scenes fic asks, could I get 12, 24, and 25 for The Almosts pretty please? I'm so insanely curious

heheheh aw man, any chance i get to rant and rave about t(a), you KNOW i'm gonna take it!! ;)c

12. Was there a scene you wished you could have included? Why didn't it fit in?

mmmmmmmmm this one's tricky. i wouldn't say there were any scenes that i wished hadn't ended up on the cutting room floor in the end (as the wordcount will attest, pffffft), but there are definitely some that i had sort of imagined going differently when first planning/setting about writing, and that ended up significantly different when all was said and done.

the two that come most readily to mind are: (1) the whole reason i had sam's dad scott be an er nurse was because i fully intended on him being the one letting her know about josh's hospitalization, and then there being a very, very awkward confrontation with chris about it later; and (2) the fight in ch17 was actually going to be, uhhhhhh worse, hahahaha. in the end, i decided i wasn't really feeling the direction of those decisions, and so ended up changing them. i for sure wouldn't say i regret that, though, or that i wish i'd stuck with my original plan, but i do think they could've changed the overall vibe of the story significantly.

EDIT: I AM A FOOL! THERE WAS A SCENE I WISH I COULD'VE INCLUDED, AND THAT WAS SAM AND ASHLEY GOING FULL PARENT TRAP ON THEIR PARENTS TO GET THEM TO DATE SDKLFJLKSJDFKLJSDF hahahaha, not exactly an important part of the story, nor a necessary one, but........i had plans for scott giddings and jamie brown, oh yes i did. oh yes i did. hehe.

24. Did you write every scene in order? What was the first scene you wrote, and what was the last?

god no, oh jesus, oh no. nonononono. i am like, pathologically incapable of writing things in order. i WISH i had that sort of discipline, my gosh. hilariously, the first scene i wrote was...well, okay, yeah, the first scene of the fic!!! hannah and sam having a little chat before The Big Party, but after that, all bets were off, babyyyyyyyyy. i jumped around.....everywhere, and the one thing i remember most about writing t(a) is that i was, at ALL times, actively working on 3 chapters. nightmarish. don't recommend it. absolutely the only way i found i could get my brain to work XD the last scene i wrote.....man, was josh and hill in that last session. everything after that had already been written, it was all set in stone, but that last session, man...that one took me.......a long time to write, hahaha.

25. Is there anything you would change now about this fic? Why or why not?

so, here's the thing. i feel like it's really easy to look back on an artistic endeavor and pick out all the stuff you don't dig about the final result. i have, in all honesty, not gone back and FULLY reread t(a) start-to-finish since finishing it BECAUSE of that. i am positive that if i really sat down and looked at it with a magnifying glass, yeah, there are some things i'd change - pieces i'd get rid of, segments i'd rework, commas i would delete by the dozens.................

but at the end of the day, t(a) is, was, and always will be my baby, something that not only served as my first step into the ud fandom, but something that introduced me to so many AMAZING people - writers and artists and readers and editors and gifmakers and not-so-silent lurkers all - and so looking at it and thinking about the things i'd change doesn't really occur to me. it is what it is, and i'm very happy to leave it as is :) <3

that being said, i would've loved to format some of the...stuff in the ending where they (starve) in a more house of leaves sort of way, but ao3 proved pretty tricky for that, alas!

behind-the-scenes fic asks!