#because way more people get to actually enjoy it as an artform now; and the infamous level of gatekeeping is losing its stranglehold

[angorwhosebabyisthis]

no problem!! honestly i love infodumping about this stuff and trying to explain it in terms that might be more accessible to people; tabletop can be intimidating if you're not familiar with how it goes, but if you try it and it clicks it is a really, truly special experience that's hard or downright impossible to capture with other forms of media, and the idea of making it available to people who might find joy in it when it's been such a gatekept form of storytelling for so long is something i'm really passionate about.

(i feel similarly about it to the way a lot of people feel about theatre, actually, now that i think of it.)

so yeah! it may take me a little while to draft up some proper in-depth answers (especially since i've been immersed in this for the better part of a year now, so i'm doing my best not to fall into this xkcd comic ashdhdjdhd), but it's no hardship to me to answer questions about this stuff and if anything i'm really grateful for the opportunity. :D

initial answer to the question re: D&D and Warhammer 40K (which will probably make more sense after the upcoming post going more in-depth on all this): they're both massive, extremely complicated systems which are almost entirely built around playing out combat in excruciating detail, and actual storytelling is kind of an afterthought in comparison. their communities have done a lot over time to try and compensate for that, but it's at the heart of those games and that's not really the kind of thing i'm interested in when i want to sit down and play/develop tabletop.

(seriously, the norm for D&D is for one (1) battle to take an entire 2-4 hour session. it's a game where unless you have a really good DM you could straight up take a short nap in between actually getting to do anything during combat, as long as people catch you up on what happened while you were out. it's a LOT.)

add that to the fact that D&D especially is a game people have been expanding and patching and adding onto, and making whole new editions of, for decades--and that there are a lot of worldbuilding things built into fundamental mechanics that Really Bother Me, like the alignment chart--and it's one that's just too overwhelming for me to want to get the hang of enough to design things for.

which, again, i'm not opposed to it on principle! if anyone who knows more about, and/or is more interested in working with, D&D or Warhammer than i am wants to give it a shot, that's totally cool and i'd love to see it. i just would rather not work with it myself, except maybe to take inspiration from some bits and pieces here and there.

(fun fact: the vatborn and trueborn were lifted straight out of warhammer uncredited, lmfao)

BUT YEAH, again some of this will probably make more sense with the followup i'm going to write out about the deal with systems + adapting things to them, and how it's relevant to LL in this case. i'm looking forward to it and i love talking about this stuff, so don't hesitate to ask questions if at any point you're still not sure about something! if anything it actually helps me think more solidly about the design and where to focus on it, so they're very much welcome. ✨️

hey there, LL fandom!

first off i have been gone for a while, whoops, hello

second, i have been on a huge tabletop dev kick lately, and i am considering whipping up something for lorien legacies! i'm not sure yet how much of it would be its own system vs how much of it would be a supplement for an existing, larger game, but LL has some worldbuilding that i think would adapt really well to RPG format and i thought it'd be neat to give it a shot.

right now the main things i'm planning on adapting in some form are:

legacies, Of Course

charms

the Goop, especially augments and vatborn

chimæra

garde vs non-garde

species (where relevant and appropriate)

whatever is going on with the entity, the spark, and how they relate to different planets' alive-or-dead status

staying undercover vs strategically revealing information

establishing bases, resources, and backup vs being ready to make a clean getaway

guidelines for making/tweaking new legacies, charms, etc while keeping them balanced and fun, as well as leaving room for people to use their own interpretations of the worldbuilding

And So On

it might take me a while to get around to it, and it might turn into a Huge Complex Thing of Its Own, or might just be good for some flavoring and small mechanical twists added on to an existing game. but i think it'd be a lot of fun to work on, and if anyone has suggestions for systems you think it might work well with or other things from the books to adapt, feel free to weigh in!

[bitethedevil]

So I just read chapter 15 and chapter 16 of "Living with The Devil You Know" and now this idea won't leave my head (I might end up sending it to a few other people as well because your fic made me borderline rabid for this idea 🫠):

Raphael x Tav where Raphael starts to target more of the types of people Tav hates and Tav helps him reinvigorate his torture methods/techniques/ideas (heck, maybe that is why Raphael started targeting those types of people Tav despises because Tav would offer a few suggestions he hadn't considered and he finds himself enjoying the collaborations, even if he doesn't want to admit it—it's like them getting to share a hobby but it's, you know, a HELL hobby and all that would imply).

Aaa thank you for this prompt <3 This one is with a different Tav than that Tav. I changed it a bit so it's Raphael teaching her how to do it. It became a bit silly and a bit horny. When the torture dungeon doubles as a sex dungeon (There's no actual smut, just implied smut)

Warning: Slight NSFW, Torture, Blood

Knives and Blood

“No, no, no,” Raphael said with a disapproving tone and a sigh behind her. “You are rushing. Do not let him distract you and angle your knife better.”

“I know how to use a knife!” Tav said and looked at him over her shoulder.

The poor victim who she had a knife in screamed as she nicked an artery because of her getting distracted. She felt the spurt of blood on the side of her face. She turned and sputtered out the drops of blood she got in her mouth. She quickly put her hand over the injury like she was fixing a leak in a bucket.

“Now you have to do it again because you did not want to listen to me, little mouse,” Raphael said with a smile. “Give him another potion. We will start over, and you will listen this time.”

Tav groaned in irritation. She got another healing potion from the table beside the prisoner. When the prisoner tearfully refused to open his mouth, she poured it over him instead. It did the trick and he stopped bleeding.

“I know what I’m doing, you know,” she said with a pointed tone and look to Raphael before turning back to the prisoner and making a slow cut into his skin.

The prisoner whined and yelped. Most of the fight had been tortured out of him since they’ve been at it for hours.

“Do you, now?” Raphael asked. “Your prisoner is nearly about to fall asleep. He should not be able to disassociate from the pain if you were doing it correctly.”

The prisoner whined louder in anticipation of more pain.

“I am literally just doing what you told me to,” she bickered back.

“You are all but filleting him,” Raphael said. “If you are attempting to peel the skin, you need to angle your knife.”

“You need to angle your knife,” she mocked him quietly in a childish fashion.

She angled her knife. The prisoner screamed loudly and began squirming against his restraints as she peeled a piece of skin from him.

“Much better,” Raphael praised her over the scream. “Though still rather sloppy.”

“Sloppy?!” she protested and pointed her knife at the skin she had peeled off. “This is perfect!”

“The skin you’ve peeled off is unevenly cut,” Raphael said. “You can do better.”

“It—” she was interrupted by how loudly the prisoner was screaming. It was terribly distracting. “My gods, could you not?”

She stuffed a rag into the prisoners mouth to quiet him.

“It hardly matters if it’s uneven,” she continued. “The goal isn’t to make him into a carpet. It’s to cause him pain.”

“Tsk, tsk.” Raphael got up from his chair behind her. He took off his doublet and rolled up the sleeves of the white shirt he was wearing underneath. “It’s an artform, my dear. You will come to appreciate it when you learn how to do it correctly.”

Raphael walked over to her and held out his hand. She handed him the knife. Raphael made a cut in the middle of the prisoners chest and sliced carefully outward while taking his time with it. Tav watched the way his hand held the knife so elegantly and the way he applied pressure to the blade. He had very dexterous hands, she thought, not for the first time.

“Look here,” Raphael said and showed her the peeled skin. “Even.”

She looked at the peeled flap of skin and how the muscle was perfectly exposed underneath. She looked up and noticed that the prisoner had passed out from the pain. Raphael handed her the knife back and stood behind her. He placed his chin on her head and his arm wrapped around her to help her hold the knife correctly. He gently rearranged her fingers along the hilt and blade so she would have more control.

“Since you ‘know what you are doing’,” Raphael said. “I will give you a more challenging task. You will need to keep your hands steady, or your prisoner will die from blood loss rather quickly.”

Raphael still held her hand in a loose grip as he led her knife to the top of the prisoners throat.

“Careful,” he purred into her ear and touched her own throat with his free hand. “The skin is thinner and more fragile here.” He ran a claw lightly down the top of her throat. “Don’t apply too much pressure.”

She applied the lightest pressure she could while letting the knife do most of the work for her. Raphael’s hand around hers helped her angle the knife correctly as she began slicing the thin skin off the prisoners throat.

“Very good, my dear,” he purred in her ear and his other hand began ever so lightly caressing her throat. “You know how much I like it when you listen to me.”

He knew perfectly well what his praise did to her. Her knife slipped and she cut an artery. Raphael chuckled and stepped back before the blood could hit him too.

“You are all too easy to distract,” he said with a self-satisfied smile and stepped away from her to seat himself in the chair behind her again. “Let the poor fool die.”

She huffed at him. She picked up a rag from the table beside the now dying prisoner and soaked it in water before wringing it. There was blood on her face, her hands, her chest, her hair, everything.

“Now I’m soaked in blood, because you distracted me,” she said.

“Yes, you are quite a messy little thing when you work,” Raphael said with a smile and held out a hand to her. “Come.”

She walked over to him. He took the wet rag from her first and then he took her hand to pull her to his lap, so that she was straddling him. He carefully cleaned her face. He watched her all the while, with a hungry gaze and a smile.

He moved the rag down her neck and chest, while his eyes followed it’s trail. When he came to the top of her chest, he put the rag to the side to take her shirt off. She had been wearing one of his shirts and it was drenched in blood too. He discarded it and ran the cool rag over her chest and breasts. His thumb brushed lightly over each of her nipples before handing her the rag.

He put the rag into her bloodied hands so she clean those off herself. She looked him up and down while she cleaned her hands. These sessions always put him in a good mood. A very good mood, judging by how hard he was underneath her and the way he was watching her every move. One of his hands was caressing her hip while she finished up.

When she was done cleaning herself off, he lifted her off his lap. He slipped a finger under the waistband of her pants and tugged on it. She got the hint and began untying her pants. He walked past her to where the prisoner was hanging dead on the cross that he had been tortured on.

Raphael unlocked the shackles that had restrained the prisoner to it and let the corpse fall to the ground. He kicked it away with his foot and turned to look at her. He tapped his claws on the middle of the cross before beckoning her closer with a finger.

“Come here,” he said with a wicked smile and held out a hand to her. “My turn.”

[zombolouge]

what are your favorite narrative tropes, romance and ship tropes, tropes (all) in media pls

Finally answering this today after letting it come to a slow boil on medium heat for (mumbles) number of days. My brain is full of bubbles and gravy now. (this metaphor got away from me, I think.)

I do have some things that I tend to gravitate to. I'm a slut for found family, and I really enjoy ship tropes that are like "character who thinks themselves logical and above feelings is obliterated down to the molecular level with feelings" kind of vibes. I adore explorations of trauma and a good spoonful of angst. If a story contains these, it certainly raises the likelihood that I'll be into it.

But, ultimately, my answer to this is extremely neurodivergent, because it's "it depends". A trope isn't a Content to me, and so the trope in and of itself holds no particular value other than a classification indication. A trope is a tool that an author can use to tell a story, and like all tools, it's all in how you use it. Having a hammer in your toolbox does not mean you've built a house, it just means you had some of the parts for it. So, I love found family, unless there's no development to make it feel natural. I love stoic characters getting hit with feelings, unless it just happens and there's no internal crisis for them about it or no exploration of their growth. I love including trauma, but am gonna walk right the fuck away if it's edgelord grimdark for no reason and the full weight of the trauma is brushed aside.

I actually get really salty about people maligning tropes, even saltier when I see people getting pissed off when tropes are used to describe the contents of a novel that ISN'T fic. Because it's classification information! It's perfectly valid to say "there was only one bed!" about a story as a shorthand way to say there's romantic tension that's been increased by a situation where the characters are forced into close quarters for one reason or another. Whether you'll love the use of the trope or not depends entirely on the context, how the author portrayed it, and how they resolve it. But it's still an indicator of the tone and content of a story, and if you can't extrapolate what that means in the context of an original novel, that seems more like an issue with your critical reasoning skills rather than "fanfic trends seeping into mainstream culture". (It also tends to tell me you see fic as an inherently lesser artform to original fiction, and I'm pretty staunchly against that opinion lol)

But I pretty much like all kinds of tropes, all types of stories, and all genres. What it really comes down to is how well it was executed, how skilled the author was when they picked up this tool, and if they figured out how to use it in ways that serve the story they were trying to tell. I can't think of any that I'd turn my nose up to, so long as it was done with thought and flair.

[the-assignment]

Blog #1 - Afrofuturism??

Okay, honestly, straight up. I had no idea what Afrofuturism was and how it related to pretty much anything else. Well, I guess that’s only partly true because while I didn’t know the name or that it was even a “thing,” I definitely enjoyed and consumed Afrofuturistic content – just without knowing it. For example, Black Panther, Kendrick Lamar, and Beyoncé are all Afrofuturistic art/artists that I know and love.

I also didn’t know there are different definitions or various ways different people can classify Afrofuturism – so I really like that it can mean different things to different people. I find that to be super inclusive! In general, I learned that Afrofuturism is more like Black Speculative Arts (as referenced by my professor) and can include Science Fiction, Futurism, Black Futurity, as well as some fantasy elements and even horror. What I personally found really interesting was one of the propellers of creating this type of genre – the aspect of the lack of inclusion often found in mainstream – *ahem* white – futuristic, fantasy, and dystopia films. Like, a lot of those films don’t feature Black people at all (or only briefly or they die) and while I could recognize that obvious lack of representation before, I didn’t really think about the bigger implications.

Like, the actual erasure of Black people in the future. If they are not in most versions or creations of peoples ideas of what the future is – Where are they? What does that say about how people see (or don’t see) them now? What happens to them? What about their future? Where do they belong? What does this exclusion say to them about their role in society? I know many may say it’s not that deep – but isn’t it tho? It’s an interesting train of thought that I have, unfortunately, never considered before in the context of Afrofuturism. And if I’m being honest, I’ll have to admit that stems mostly from me never having to be worried that I wouldn’t see a person like me – a white woman (even if only for the eye candy) – on a screen or in the future. (Though it is also in minor part because I don’t really watch a lot of futuristic / dystopia / utopia films in general).

But this lack of inclusion is what makes Afrofuturism so important and interesting! Because, much like I learned in my last AfAm Studies class about Black horror, this genre too is being reclaimed and rewritten. The idea of an apparently white utopian future is being challenged in really impactful ways and in various artforms – from movies and TV shows, to books and music. It’s been really fun to get introduced to artists I’ve never heard before (like Sun Ra) even if their sound isn’t really my thing. But it’s important to remember that it isn’t so much as whether I like the music or not, but about the way he challenged and changed the sound of music with (mostly) only his keyboard and how his style and imagery has had a lasting impact on musicians I do love – like Janelle Monáe! And now that I know what to look out for, I can see the references and callbacks – like the hooded mirrored faced entities present in both Sun Ra’s music videos and Janelle Monáe’s. I think its good to know what inspired some of my fave works of music and art – and the how and why of its creation.

[natmasthestinkylizardliker]

Hi so being as you directly quoted me I just wanted to respond, I did read your whole post, contrary to what you thought would happen in your tags.

ok immediately im done being charitable. what the fuck. what the fuck is this nonsense? why? what the fuck are you saying? oh my god.

well I'm glad you went into this post with such a charitable perspective to begin with, it's a shame the only response you actually gave a charitable interpretation to is the one you agree with.

"disappointed in my transfem siblings honestly n truly. educate urselves" is not saying "huh its kinda disappointing trans women don't get to enjoy this artform like everyone else". Like, if that's genuinely how you interpret that statement then perhaps you need to take a moment to consider how you understand tone conveyed through text, because a look at the tags of that addition show that they are just making the same point you are.

Now that post might not have been trying to be condescending but the way its written it kind of is.

yes, it is condescending. as are you.

maybe some of these women ARE educated and still hold a negative opinion and that is totally fine. but the pushback goes beyond just that

this is you being condescending, I, and many other trans women, are educated on the history of drag. we are forced to be because it is constantly foisted upon us as vital knowledge for trans women, to "know where we came from". I'm sure there's nothing untoward implied by that idea at all.

BUT putting that aside, yes, drag is not some mystery that we're all discovering for the first time right here on tumblr.com, many of us (including me, as this is my perspective!) have actually been to drag shows and know drag performers in real life and have read about the history and influence of drag, so it's great that we're still allowed to hold negative views about it, thanks!

um? which cis people? cis people within the queer community? cishets? those are already two wildly different groups to sample, but apparently it's just cis people.

gosh, forgive a girl for being flippant in a one line post on tumblr, perhaps she should have written a nice breakdown of all the different cis groups who respect and accept drag more than they do trans women, instead of writing a pithy response to condesention.

fine ok whatever maybe there's a point to be made about how crossdressing (an important tradition that's been a thing in the queer community for a long ass time) is easier to accept in a temporary performance than as part of a permanent stable identity.

see, you do understand, without further articulation, what the pithy one-liner was trying to convey. shocking.

now we get to my bit (yay!) so I feel like I have to remind you of the first part of my response, that you ignored to rant about how offended you were that I don't like drag queens being platformed instead of trans women when talking about issues that affect trans women.

see that bit, where I say I don't think drag is bad in general or that people shouldn't do it?

what is the point of this harsh anti-drag queen stance?

there isn't one, because that's not my stance.

are you on the side of the anti-drag bills in congress?

this question was answered in my post, perhaps you should respond to that.

this is fucking extreme.

yes, the extreme stance "drag queens are not trans women"

do you think these bills exclude drag queens and cisgender crossdressers?

nope, but then I don't think restrictions on puberty blockers or hormone therapy or gender affirming surgery or changing your name and gender marker on your government ID affect drag queens or cis crossdressers as much as they do trans people, do you?

do you think the transphobic us govt will just give these people a pass?

that depends, do I think drag queens and cis crossdressers are affected by right wing terrorism? yes.

do I think that this is equivalent to what trans people are going through, to the extent that they are functionally interchangeable? no, of course not, it's deeply transphobic to suggest that.

do you the most homophobic cishet legislators can even differentiate between a trans woman and a drag queen and a cisgender gay man and a bisexual man who happens to be a twink?

yes.

just to unpack this, yes, there is a clear difference between being trans and being a twinky cis guy. a difference that is immediately and viscerally apparent even to the most blinkered homophobes.

as for drag queens, yes they hate us all, and there is a concerted effort to conflate trans women with drag queens, but many people do understand the difference.

not everyone does, but that is a problem that is not helped by the way that drag queens specifically are platformed to speak over and instead of trans women on trans womens' issues. (which is what I expressed frustration with in the post you are responding to.)

ALL of these people fall under the umbrella of icky sinful queer. all of them. which is the entire reason we need solidarity in the first place.

and the solidarity that I want to see, from drag queens specifically, is not accepting the invitation of cis news organisations to speak on our behalf.

i can get being frustrated (which is all the original poll really measures) but this goes beyond that. this is about the question what do with we DO with our frustration.

I'm posting about it on tumblr :)

this shit is bad. this is the textbook example of the queer community turning against itself instead against the actual cishet oppressors. while yes cishets are chided lightly in these reblog chains for being bad (what else is new?) the vast majority of the words and analysis in this thread go towards shitting on other queer people, either drag queens directly or cisgender queer people who don't differentiate enough between transfems and drag queens or whatever.

actually, drag queens speaking for us, and TME queer people not differentiating between trans women and drag queens are the ones turning on our community and shitting on other queer people.

I am not a drag queen. trans women are not drag queens. some drag queens are wonderful allies, some drag queens can be incredible and accepting and sometimes can really help new and exploring trans women on their path to finding what presentation is right for them. hell, some drag queens are trans women, but trans women are not drag queens, conflating the two is transmisogynistic.

Like... telling trans women to be quiet? the snarky post saying for trans women to educate themselves on the history of drag is not silencing trans women.

yes it is, it clearly is, you even agree with it, you just don't like it being called out because then you might have to examine your own kneejerk "these filthy trannies need to shut up about being mistreated" reaction for what it is.

it is literally inviting trans women to stay in this discussion and potentially find value in this artform. that is not just shutting trans women down entirely.

we are in this discussion. we have stayed, we just disagree with you. saying "stop talking and go read history" is literally shutting us down and telling us we only hold the opinions we do because we are ignorant.

in fact, it kinda feels like that is what is happening to the cis queer people and cishets who like drag.

no one has said you're not allowed to like drag, no one has said drag is inherently bad or wrong or shouldn't exist, (some) trans women are literally just saying "I don't like it and I don't like how people assume I must just because I'm a trans woman and I don't like being treated like a drag performer by cis people" which, I'm sorry but if that offends you, maybe you need to go away and think about why that is instead of expressing that through lashing out at us.

i dont' have any pulitzer prize winning arguments to make the trans women who inevitably will disagree with me see what im so concerned about. i don't know what string of words to use to get people to understand why i find this so threatening to the future of the queer community's existence. we NEED to disagree with each other respectfully. we NEED to have constructive dialogues. but what i see in this post specifically is evidence of trans women being radicalized against the rest of the queer community in real time.

I'm sorry I used the word fuck a could of times when expressing my dislike of something, but you really don't need to treat it like I'm calling for the banning of drag. literally no one in the responses to this poll has done that.

expressing frustration about our mistreatment isn't us causing infighting. pointing out that something bad is occuring isn't wishing that bad thing into existence, it already exists, you just weren't affected so didn't realise before now.

but again. what is the response? what do we DO with this information? well apparently spend a lot of time shitting on drag queens ig.

I mean, you could actually read some of the responses, where several suggestions have been made, including my own.

people who are not trans women should not accept invitations to speak on our behalf, people should not associate being a trans woman with being a drag queen, here's a suggestion from @estrogenesis-evangelion's reblogs

how is that for suggestions for what to DO with this information?

the saddest thing of all is that in a lot of ways i agree with the idea that being expected to just adore drag in an uncritical uncomplicated manner because you are a queer is very annoying at best and deeply hurtful and insulting at worst.

so you do understand what we're saying, you just don't like that we're saying it.

i basically have no reason to like modern drag in and of itself save for its association with the queer liberation movement and that history. i have positive feelings of drag not because of any of the times i went to a drag show and enjoyed it (a grand total of zero times) but because of the importance in my heart to support any kind of intentional gender bending in society. whether that's gender bending like they do in the new york balls in paris is burning, gender bending by being born one gender and transitioning to the other later, or gender bending by being a man indiscernible from any other cisgender average joe but still preferring to want to be with another man, i NEED to support all of it because all of this makes me safer as a queer person.

good for you, but none of us have been saying we don't support drag's existence. we have simply been begging, pleading with you and other TME queers, to understand that we are not drag queens.

we are not men putting on a costume for a performance for entertainment.

we are women.

sadly, it seems the separatist movements have already taken root. it seems as though individual factions of the queer community are dividing against each other in a time when gay rights have become mainstream but QUEER rights on the whole are more threatened than ever, basically the perfect breeding grounds for resentment and infighting to get out of control.

trans women being driven out of queer spaces are not separatist, we want to be involved with other queer people, with organising and solidarity and mutual aid. but we also want our identities to be treated with the same respect as everyone elses.

a queer person or organisation that does not recognise that we are women is not an ally to trans women, it is an ally to the right wing forces that seek to kill us all, and they are giving them a toe in the door by throwing us under the bus to delay their turn at the wall.

i want to emphasize the need for queer solidarity. the need to accept people even if their queerness feels like its brushing up against yours. and then i want to ask every queer person on here alongside every straight ally to ponder deeply what the POINT of this rhetoric is.

queer solidarity is not disrespecting trans women's identities by conflating us with drag queens. as has been repeatedly said in other reblogs of this post, we don't hate drag, we don't hate drag performers, we just want tme people to understand that we are not interchangeable.

no i mean it. do it. ask yourself what the point is in being this militant against drag queens?

we are not.

or ace people? or intersex people? or any other hypothetical group that isn't your neck of the queer woods? why is this group of queer people gaining rights a bad thing for you? why? can you say why? and if you can, is that a valid enough reason to go to war with the rest of the queer community?

perhaps you should be asking yourself, why does seeing trans women expressing that their identity is different and distinct from drag something that upsets you this much?

perhaps you should be asking yourself why trans women asking for the right to represent themselves and their interests instead of being spoken over and spoken for makes you so defensive that you cherry pick their responses to rant about queer solidarity.

why, in a discussion about trans women, do you repeatedly draw equivalence between them and cis gay men?

do you think that, with so many trans women sharing similar experiences and opinions, there might be a genuine issue here that needs addressing? or do you think that there is something which just makes all of those shared perspectives less important to you?

maybe you are the one who should be brave in examining your own biases, when trans women are talking about being treated unfairly, why does this make you angry at the trans women instead of the unfairness?

I've gotta admit I think about this one a lot for many reasons. I'd really love to see what others think

[idleglowingpixels]

If you get this, answer with 3 random facts about yourself and send it to the last 7 blogs in your notifications, anonymously or not! Let's get to know the person behind the blog :D

Thanks for the ask Jay! A lot of the blogs in my notifs are FNAF fans from a post I made about the movie last month so I'm not sure if that's the target audience haha, but I'll try to find some writeblr/fanfic authors within my fandoms to send this to...maybe XD

To the people finding my blog for the first time, hi, I'm Lin! More info on my main fandoms, current available works, and whatnot are on my blog's introduction post. My asks are always open!

Something I don't talk about too often here, but one of my pastimes every now and then is crocheting! I really enjoy it, and it helps me watch TV, movies and videos. It's an artform that takes a lot of patience, as with drawing and writing, but the end product is worth messing around with the projects to get it right! XD

My unofficial first anime is the 4Kids Sonic X dub. My siblings, a pair of my cousins that are practically sisters to me, and I grew up religiously on that dub! Must have watched it a dozen times over the years... XD But as far as an actual anime fandom (aka one that isn't based off of a video game like Pokemon), the first one I got into was Fairy Tail per my late dad's recommendation. I was about 12-13, and at the time episodes were only dubbed episode up to Ep. 213 (I'm a dub viewer most of the time, sue me), so I only watched up to episode 200. I'd love to go back and finish it some time, because I think it only goes up to 265 episodes if I remember correctly, but furthest I get on most attempts to rewatch is around the time Gajeel and Wendy join the guild.

I'm an unreasonably huge fan of ensemble casts! If you didn't know, a lot of my main fandoms and series typically have 4 or more main characters in some way (MLP, Monster High, FNAF (sorta), Sonic, etc.). Most of the time ensemble casts shift the prominence of certain characters in the cast instead of spreading screen time evenly across its main cast (Stranger Things & TOH come to mind), but when it's done right and there's a reason to love something about all of the main characters, I can't get enough of it!

I'm gonna tag @onefaintrobin to do this too -- go share random facts about you!!!

[dapandapod]

Jaskier needs a hug

Honestly, @the-glorious-half-pints-twin, this started out as your prompt and morphed into something else. Im intending to write your prompt more properly because it’s super cute ang got Soft Potential that I crave.

But this is not what brain did today, so this is looooooosely based on your prompt, with another on it’s way. 

In the mean time, please have goofy random cuddles with a Dramatic Jaskier and Geralt with.. kind of a sense of humor?

Anyway, please enjoy!   On Aoe here!

                                                      ~~*~~ 

It’s been weeks. Months. Years.

Yes, Jaskier is dramatic, what do you want?! Point is, Jaskier needs a hug. Just a hug. Arms around him, or his arms around somewhere else. He isn’t fuzzy, but frankly, there isn’t too much to hug around these parts. 

All the good ladies are taken (it’s not much of a problem but Geralt uses that unhappy frown on him for days if he goes for it), most of the men lack most of their teeth (not really required for hugging, but that is usually not their only problem) and in general, most people he met wanted hugs to go somewhere behind closed doors.

Not that Jaskier minds, but he really, really just wants a hug.

What’s left in options is various monsters, trees, Roach and that one Witcher that accompanies her. Yes, he is talking about Geralt, keep up. 

Monsters, depending on the kind, would probably give him a great hug. Only once though, because he would likely die from it. To be honest, the trees weren't so bad. The trick is to choose correctly, and when Geralt comes looking for him he claims he is lost. It worked twice, after that Geralt tied a rope around his middle to keep him from straying. If he tries to hug Roach he will meet one out of two outcomes. If not both.

Roach will bite him. Or Geralt will bite him. 

And that likely applies if Jaskier actually would work up the nerve to actually try to hug that giant frown of a man.

So yes, Jaskier is grumpy, Jaskier is dramatic, and Jaskier wallows in these two moods and expresses it like an artform. Drapes it around his being like a fashionable cape. Swirls it around himself as he turns, dazzling all around him with grump and drama.

He really doesn’t expect Geralt to pick up the root of the problem. That might not even be what is going in, but three days into moping (because let’s be honest, that’s what this is) Geralt tires of the entire thing.

They are watering Roach just a little way off the main road. Jaskier is sighing loudly, kicking at the leaves and high grass and anything that happens to stick up.

He still has the rope around the middle, courtesy of his latest try to hug a tree, and suddenly there is a tug.

“Stop.”

Tug.

“Quit it.”

Tug tug.

“Fucking… What?? Geralt??” Jaskier turns around, all flare, to give Geralt a taste of that glare he may or may not try to be copying from said witcher.

There is this really tacky dance move Jaskier has seen at very very late night festivals. When one person refuse to dance, and the other pretends to pull at a rope to bring them to the dancefloor.

Picture this, but nobody is dancing and there is actually a rope.

Geralt is pulling Jaskier closer, looking all serious and stone faced and how else you wish to describe that dumb dumb face of his.

“What are you- Why?! What are you doing?” Jaskier doesn’t struggle, but he doesn’t really cooperate either. Just like that dance move he ends up being dragged over to Geralt.

They stand only an arms width away from each other, Roach moved from the creek to graze at the grass, ignoring them completely.

Jaskiers pulse speeds up. Last time Geralt asked him to come closer and Jaskier blindly complied, he earned himself a punch in the gut. On the other hand, this time Geralt physically pulled him closer.

Should he...possibly.. maybe try to hug Geralt?

Before he gets the chance to try, Geralt grabs his shoulders with both hands and looks at him gravely.

“Jaskier.”

“Yes?”

“You stink.”

And toss him straight into the creek.

It’s not very deep, but it’s enough to completely soak him as he falls face first. He swallows one big mouthful of muddy water, he spits and coughs with loud protests and moaning.

“THIS IS SUPPOSED TO MAKE ME SMELL BETTER?! ARE YOU DAFT?!” 

He rises from the creek like a water hag, water dripping from all of his expensive clothes. He marches straight up to Geralt, heart set on revenge.

Yeah, Geralt weighs a ton. Have you seen the guy? He is huge, and even if he isn’t traveling in his armor it is impossible to get a good grip. Geralt is entirely too good at steering off attacks.

Fine.

Jaskier doesn’t fear death.

So he marches straight back into that creek.

Falls into it, hugs it if you will, and turns around again all soaking wet.

Take aim.

Launch.

And throws himself at Geralt. Not in the intent of trying to push Geralt in the water, but with the intent to bring as much water on Geralt as he can. Like a sponge.

Either Geralt did not anticipate this course of action, or he accepted it. Kind of.

There is some slapping and flailing but then Jaskier presses himself against Geralt's side, wrapping his arms around his chest and clenching that stupid (and STINKY, Geralt! Take a bath!!) tunic and soaking it as best he can.

“Hah!” Jaskier is so pleased with himself, he throws a leg around Geralt and dries himself off like a dog on grass, rubbing his hair and face against Geralt's shoulder.

So it takes him a moment to realize that Geralt is laughing.

He stops, looks up in wonder. No, not looking, staring. Geralt is laughing, throwing his head back that gives him that adorable little double chin. 

Jaskier doesn’t let go.

Of course not. This is way better than hugging a tree. 

“Done moping now? Idiot.” Geralt puts a hand on his forehead and shoves him off. Jaskier is too busy staring at that smile to struggle. There are wet patches on his tunic so Geralt takes it off in a smooth motion.

“What do you say, we make camp here for today? Wash our clothes and clean up? I'm sure they will put away the pitchforks in the village if we don’t announce ourselves by smelling. ...Uh. Earth to Jaskier? Hellooo?” 

Jaskier is not done staring. Smiles and bare chest will do that to a man. But he closes his mouth at least, so that is an improvement.

It takes a few minutes to get his brain functions back.

During that time Geralt takes off Roaches gear and she goes a bit further away to find more tasty things to eat.

They actually get around to bathe and clean their clothes. They bask in the warm sun, laying in the grass and just enjoy the nature around them and each other's company.

Jaskier seeking revenge probably doesn’t count as a hug, but he will take it. It feels a bit better and he is ready to hang the Cloak of Dramatics on the rack for a while and just enjoy the moment.

But again, Geralt surprises him.

As they prepare for settle in for the night, rolling out their bedrolls (with a respectable distance, thank you very much) Geralt sits against a tree and leans back.

Again, Geralt tugs him closer. This time by the tunic that he got to borrow, pulling him straight down between Geralt's knees and capturing him in a bear hug. 

Two hugs. In one day.

“Uh… Geralt?”

Jaskier doesn’t dare to move, not daring to wrap his arms around the witcher. They are chest to chest, Geralt holding him in an iron grip.

“Yes?” Geralt mutters, holding him just a little closer.

“Are you.. Why are you hugging me?”

It feels like his chest is swelling three sizes, a tingling sensation spreading through his limbs, closely followed by a warmth. 

“I'm not.”

It’s Jaskiers time to chuckle.

“Oh really?”

“Mmhm.”

Geralts offers up absolutely nothing, but Jaskier now dares to let his arms circle around Geralt's shoulder with a soft sigh. Not the restless, dramatic and grumpy kind that he did before, but a content exhale. 

“I really needed this.” Jaskier admits to Geralt's shoulder There is no way he is telling Geralt, he has been behaving really badly today.

“No shit. I absolutely didn’t notice you hugging everything in your immediate vicinity.” Geralt drawls sarcastically. 

Geralt's warm, callused hand finds its way under Jaskiers tunic. Little electric sparks climbing up his spine and he buries his head in Geralt's neck.

Up until this very point, this could very much be something one friend does for another.

Still could be.

But also not.

And if there is one thing Jaskier wouldn’t mind, it’s that. 

Only, he is afraid it will go away if he points it out. 

Jaskier has seen it one too many times before.

And Geralt is the one person he does not wish to lose. His heart is beating hard, with every breath he takes in the (now much better) smell of his friend, breathing him in deep.

“Are you sniffing me?” Shit.

“No.” Jaskier says and yelps when Geralt pinches his side.

“Fine, fucking… yes. So what. You smell good.”

Geralt falls weirdly quiet and Jaskier has time to have a small internat panic attack and prepare to be shoved away.

“You can sniff me if you want.” Geralt says quietly.

They are stock still in each other's arms. It’s an odd thing to do, an odd thing to say. Jaskier finally caves and pushes his face a little deeper in the crook of Geralt's neck.

Geralt's hands climb higher over Jaskiers' back, and he leans his head against Jaskiers.

“You smell good too.” Jaskier almost dies. “Well. Now you do. Before the bath, not so much.”

“Fuck you.” Jaskier chuckles.

“Nah. Would be real awkward in the morning.” Geralt says, and again they both freeze. Yeah, this is one weird night.

They don’t say anything more after this. Just sits there under the tree, listening to the evening birds and Roachs munching in the distance. 

And if they pulled their bedrolls closer together, and slept with their legs tangled, and woke up too warm curled together, that is just what friends do for each other when you feel lonely.

Probably not.

But that is not a conversation they are ready to have.

For now, there are only hugs.

[elpercotreviews]

My Anime 9/10′s

With probably no spoilers cuz I don’t wanna talk too long about them zzz.

1. Fullmetal Alchemist

YALL ALREADY KNOW THIS A 9/10. The only real reason this show is not a 10/10 is because it’s just a story that I’d never rewatch. There’s like 70 episodes, which is way too long for my short attention span, especially since I’ve seen it already. But yeah, by all accounts, this story is a masterpiece and is one of the only “shounen” anime’s that I genuinely enjoyed. No random sexualization. No dumb filler. All the characters have an actual purpose and role in the plot and everyone has their own morals and ideals that interact to make the story interesting. I couldn’t bring myself to really hate anyone, even the villains, because everyone was pretty well written. Also super satisfying ending that ties up everything properly without leaving me confused or upset. If you only watch a few anime in your life, Fullmetal Alchemist is pretty much a MUST WATCH to see a beautiful example of a modern classic anime as an artform. Also I should say that I really don’t like Hunter x Hunter (AN EXTREMELY CONTROVERSIAL OPINION BTW) but I love Fullmetal Alchemist so take from that what you will.

2. Parasyte: The Maxim

Same kinda shit where you already know this a 9/10 for me. It’s just a very satisfying anime that doesn’t have random sexualization or random filler or anything like that. Ending is also very good and ties up the story in a way that doesn’t leave more questions but also allows the characters to have a “life” outside of the scope of the story. I think Parasyte, because of its more horror and psychological-esque vibes, counts as a seinen and not a shounen, so for more mature audiences. I also really liked how the story was successfully adapted to modern times since the manga is from the 80′s. I have actually rewatched this anime, but what stops me from giving it a 10/10 is a few things that I found kinda “stereotypical” that I don’t wanna discuss further too much cuz it’s spoilers. I still obviously really like this anime and highly recommend it.

3. Zankyou no Terror

TBH, this anime is pretty hard for me to properly describe in a lot of words as to why I like it. The art was really pretty as well as the music, which was just straight up amazing. The cinematography of this anime is excellent as well, and a lot of scenes have that sense of being acted out by real people, as opposed to feeling completely drawn/animated. I was a teenager when this anime came out and I think a lot of the themes presented in the show really related to me. The show does kinda have some leftover questions when it ends that prevents me from rating it a 10/10, but I have such a soft spot for this anime. It’s from the same creator as Samurai Champloo and Cowboy Bebop, and although those two animes are also very good, they did not impact me as much as this anime did. Recommended for people looking for idk something that gives off Inception vibes?? In the sense that it’s much more about its themes and its message more so than the believability of the events that occur.

4. Magic Kaito 1412

THIS IS JUST A PERSONAL PREFERENCE BTW LOLOL I DON’T KNOW ANYBODY WHO’D PUT THIS AS A 9/10 ANIME. I JUST REALLY LIKED IT OKAY. It’s made by the same person who does Detective Conan but I like this a lot more because it’s a much shorter series and slightly more mature (more for teens than just straight up kids). I really liked the main guy, I think he’s funny and charismatic. He’s a pervert at times but Imma forgive that cuz of the 90′s. Idk it’s just a really fun anime that I don’t have to take seriously and can just watch and enjoy.

5. Mob Psycho 100 (season 1 AND 2)

Imma put season two as slightly better than season one. So season one would be like a 9 and season two is like a 9.25 for me. Super super funny anime and I like it SO much more than One Punch Man. I liked that there was a good balance of serious moments, but you can definitely still count this anime as a comedy. I’m typically not the type to watch “comedy” but this anime genuinely had me laughing out loud, while also crying and freaking out right alongside the main character. The main guy is super great because he’s just this shy and sweet middle schooler, and it’s really interesting watching him balance trynna have a normal life while also using his powers for good and such. Apparently the anime was decently faithful to the manga and there’s apparently enough material for a third season so I’d be pretty stoked for a season 3, but season 2 ended on a pretty good spot and was satisfying. TBH, if I had the time, I’d probably rewatch both seasons and bump it up to a 10/10.

6. Vinland Saga

This anime is just the first season of what I hopes to be a whole series that will be stay beautifully and faithfully adapted from the manga. As someone who read very far into the manga (but quit like years ago simply because I hate slow updates lol), I actually didn’t enjoy watching the anime at first. I was impatient and kept waiting for when like the “major” events would happen. So I watched like three episodes and quit. But when I had some free time, I decided to get stuck in and commit to watching the whole series and I was so pleasantly surprised with just how good it was. I was impatient but I needed to realize that there is no “filler” or like “wasted time” in the entire anime. I hadn’t read the manga in years, so so many things were only vaguely familiar but I think this helped me stay surprised and excited throughout the anime. I’m looking forward to the rest of the manga being adapted because it’s just a good Viking saga lolol. Major themes of stuff like growing up, violence vs. peace, what it means to be a good person, etc. Lots of blood and LOTS of violence like a LOT they are VIKINGS CMON but tbh not really any gore which I liked cuz gore makes me ughhhh. A very good watch and only a taste of an excellent story.

7. Demon Slayer

It’s just Demon Slayer duhhh. Of course this a 9/10 for me. I don’t wanna write much just cuz the show is so popular. Just read a REAL review of this anime somewhere else lmaoooo. Also yes I did watch the movie in theaters and yes I liked it a lot as well mmkay. I’m mad hype for season two. My S/O doesn’t like Demon Slayer as much as me, but also has Hunter x Hunter as their all time favorite anime. Do with that information what you will lolol.

8. Attack on Titan Season 3 Part 2

Same shit as Demon Slayer. Just go read someone else’s review about why it’s so good lol. Also, unlike Mob Psycho 100, I can’t include all of the seasons in this, because I have very various opinions about how good/bad the other seasons were. But this season 3 part 2, was just plain and simply amazing. While I might not like each season equally, as a whole Attack on Titan is also a modern masterpiece of storytelling. Read the manga if you can.

9. Great Pretender

I love this anime so much. Such a good and fun wild ride. The whole show is ridiculous but in a fun way. I’m a HUGE fan of heist films, so of course I absolutely enjoyed a heist anime. I’ve watched this show in sub AND dub, due to the fact that everyone is “technically” speaking English the entire time. If you’re a purist, just watch in sub OR dub cuz I did get confused here and there, especially when I would go back to compare language discrepancies.  Because basically I did this super high maintenance thing where I switched back to Japanese whenever the main character had flashbacks, since he’s ya know, Japanese. The dub also has this confusing thing where the first five minutes or so are still in Japanese, but switches to English when a little cue card on the screen goes “For the Viewers sake, everything from now on will be translated to Japanese.” It’s cuz in the sub, the inverse obviously happens where the characters are initially speaking broken English to each other, but for convenience sake, everything from that point on will be in Japanese. It’s confusing at first but I liked it cuz it just proved the whole international vibe of the show. It’s funny either sub or dub when they joke about how bad the main guy speaks English, cuz in the dub he’s speaking perfect English, while the sub has him not speaking English at all. But anyway, great anime that WOULD have gotten a 10/10 if not for the last episode. Like without spoiling ... WTF WAS THAT LMAOOOO. The anime as a whole is super wacky and zany but at least I could try to think it’s real life, but that last episode was just so unbelievable and bizarre and pulled my suspension of disbelief into the STRATOSPHERE that I just had to convince myself that this show takes place in some improbable alternate reality where something like what happened in the last episode is at least 5 percent possible CUZ HOW DID ANY OF THAT WORK LMAOOO??? Once again, great show, one of my absolute favorites, BUT THAT ENDING THOUGH WTF.

10. BNA

Good super underrated anime that I don’t hear people talk about at all. If Beastars is anime Zootopia, then BNA is Disney Beastars lmaooo does that make sense? It’s a lot more fun and zany than Beastars and I liked it way more. Made by the same people who made Kill la Kill. I really like that more classic, animated “cheap” art style that the anime has, and I also really liked the plot of the story. Not a 10/10 cuz the show does leave a few unanswered questions at the end of it, but this show was such a fun and interesting ride. When I finished the last episode, I was left with a big smile on my face because I just genuinely enjoyed this anime. Recommended if you wanna watch something a little unique and more on the silly and wack side. Talks about some serious stuff, but luckily the show never takes itself TOO seriously, and remains overall lighthearted for a fun action/sci-fi show.

[roadhogsbigbelly]

i'm going to be completely honest with you but the i kind of completely disagree with absolutely everything you said like for one, i think labels like "kids media" and "adult media" are like incredibly unhelpful terms that only really make sense in terms of literally discourse because age ratings are generally based on reading level, but in terms of like movies/tv shows/video games age ratings aren't based on maturity or reading comprehension but rather on very subjective ideas of what "kids are allowed to see without being traumatized" like how PG used to mean "this guy face melts off and explodes" and now it means "there's minor cuss words and adult innuendo so you don't feel embarrassed for watching inside out as an adult"

like one of my favorite childhood films is "Mary and Max" a claymation film about a little Australian girl who becomes pen pals with an autistic middle aged new yorker, and i'm pretty sure the only reason our mom let me watch it was become it was animated and on netflix but in contained alot of subject matters that one would consider "inappropriate for children" like attempted suicide or sexual themes, but as a kid it never occurred to me that the film wasn't FOR me, because plenty of the books i read at school talked about suicide and sex and out of curiosity i looked up the age rating for the film to see the intended demographic and from what i can tell it's still "not rated" probably because it was made for film festivals and than sent to netflix.

but like. i think in general one of my issues is that i don't consider the classic books we read in school to be "books for adults" like to me Catcher in the rye or Of Mice or Men or The Great Gatsby aren't books for adults, they're books for everyone? for general audiences? like pixar films or miyazaki movies, because i read those books when i was a child, and if they WERE for adults i wouldn't be allowed to read em, in the same way that like most "children's songs" are just like sea shanties that are in the public domain, which is noone REALLY CARES that they "have dark themes"

like i don't disagree that "that enjoying literature or movies that have more complex, and mature themes makes you a richer person" what i disagree with is that, that's something you only get from reading books "for adults" and WON"T get from reading books "for kids", because i think those are mostly akin-ed to genre's at some point, like they're generally helpful for finding stuff you already like, but it's not gonna be like an objective marker of quality.

like i think the reason i think people get pissed when adults say their favorite book is "percy jackson" instead of "jane eyre" isn't actually because percy jackson is a book for middle schoolers, it's because well. it's very recent? like they're plenty of booktok books that are very clearly made FOR adults that it would be embarrassing to say are "your favorite book" because they clearly more for enjoyment that intellectual enlightenment.

like part of the reason it's so hard for like. video games to be taken seriously as an artform compared to movies or tv or literature, is because as an art form it's still extremely so their isn't any movie that's old enough to be considered a "classic" like yeah there's like. ocarina of time, or goldeneye 64 or shadow of the colossus, but video games are still generally seen as entertainment first than anything else.

like i feel like i would understand this discourse more if it was less "people who consume media for kid's need to watch media for adults" and more "people need to watch more foreign media" or "people need to watch more media made from before the last 40 years" because i do think people would find more enriching stories if they didn't just watch mainstream american films from very recently. but like alot of really good classic films and foreign films ARE kid's movies, like what's even considered a "kid's movie" is again EXTREMELY subjective. my sister is dead set on her belief that "total drama island" is a show for adults, in the same way my grandma is convinced "spongbob squarepants" is a show for adults, because total drama island is a canadian show that has different stands for what's appropriate for kids.

but like the larger point is that if you do open yourself up to trying more media outside of your comfort zone, you're not going to stop consuming kids media and start consuming adult media, you're going to just. like. start watching more movies. and more books.

i know i've said this before, but i truly can not believe y'all when you say that you're not shaming people for their interests and that you just want people to have a more varied media diet, when you stuff like "people won't even LIE about their favorite book anymore" cause like. is it actually better if people lie and say their favorite book is a classic book they are told is good but have no interest rather than like. animorphs

[thelemoncoffee]

An au where the characters swap personalities, but not completely; they keep some part of them from their original personality as well as keeping their own talents. Like- a 80% personality swap

This is a fairly old Au that I did a shit job at describing when i made it, but I had the doc with what i wrote on it, so I just copy-pasted what was on there. I had no clue how to rewrite this in a way that made more sense

I'm sorry- this is all over the place- here's the swaps

[Kokichi - Shuichi]

Kokichi is basically an emo leader who has bad anxiety issues and doesn't fully believe in himself. He's still hyperactive and childish, but does get serious when the time calls for it. He tends to use his childish nature as a coping mechanism for his anxiety, trying to play his worries away.

Shuichi is a confusing, theatrical liar of a detective; tending to make himself seem alot bigger and better than he is. He's shy but due to his evil theatrics he comes off as eerily quiet at times, as a result people get really anxious near him. he finds it kinda funny that people are scared of him, considering he's completely harmless and just wants to pull pranks

[Kaito - Maki]

While Maki's tamer, she's got some serious determination and spunk, and because she's still an assassin, she's more dangerous when you piss her off than Kaito ever was. She tends to protect her sidekicks (Kaito and Kokichi) with her talent rather than feel bad about having it 

Kaito's serious and spits out threats alot, often coming off as snarky in arguments, but the worst harm he can do is basic hand to hand fighting he learned for self defence. Just because he's not as dangerous as Maki, doesn't mean he hasn't tried to kick shuichi's ass a few times for some of his stunts

[Rantaro - Miu]

normal Miu and Rantaro; everyone knows that Miu is a slut, and everyone thinks despite what he says that Rantaro is a fuckboy

Now it's reversed, now we know Rantaro is a fuckboy, and everyone thinks that Miu is a slut despite her not actually being one. Rantaro is a fucking massive bi flirt (male leaning), and Miu is just trying to work on her inventions in some sort of peace

[Tenko - Himiko]

Tenko is a great Akido Master as always, but, she's lazy as fuck, and lounges around more than practices her skill. She tends to run out of energy quickly, making up excuses to not do much such as "i need to save my energy for fighting". She still hates boys, but she isn't as vicious about it, just voices that she wants them to keep their distance

Himiko is high strung and tends to make a fool of herself as a result, she tries to bring magic into everything. She herself doesn't believe her magic is real, but tells kids it is to make it that much better for them. She saw how lacking in spunk Tenko was, and decided to try and get her to be more assertive and active, making herself Tenko's bodyguard despite her not needing it. Himiko is usually the one to snap at boys for getting too close to her, Tenko tries to stop her but it usually doesn't work

[Kirumi - Angie]

While ever the loyal maid, abiding by directions, Kirumi is more laid back than a usual maid. She tends to enjoy herself as she serves, joking around with everyone both in and out of work. Although she can get a bit too ahead of herself at times, stumbling off track, she acknowledges when she gets too much, and reels herself in before it's too late

Cold and analytical, Angie is; while her mind is buzzing with beautiful creative thoughts, she nearly never shows it, preferring to keep her voice down and her aura calm. Being more so spiritual than religious, she wants to have a relaxed and peaceful aura, believing it helps her create better quality art if she isn't buzzing with energy as much on the exterior as she is on the interior

[Gonta - Ryoma]

Gonta's a pretty terrifying guy, he's buff, looks mean, has gone to prison and back, but he isn't all that bad. While he's become a jaded hull of who was once a happy guy, he's alot more peaceful since he returned from jail. He spends his time studying the one thing that seems to always bring his mood up, bugs; they fascinate him, a beautiful distraction from his own internal woes.

Ryoma on the other hand, is alot of sunshine packed into a pint sized man. He tends to enjoy the world around him alot more than most; eyes sparkling at the shiny things, and his odd amount of energy being poured into either playing tennis, or trying to get up onto something so he can see whatever snagged his attention this time better. 

[Tsumugi- Kiibo]

Tsumugi's very overzealous about her talent, wanting desperately for Cosplay to become a much more mainstream artform, and pushing for it to be so. She claims often that it isn't just a hobby, and more so a lifestyle, going off on people who such as hum poorly of cosplay for one second. She wants to be seen as an equal to tailors, and fashionistas, rather than a member of a lowly halloween knock off kink. 

Kiibo's…. A dork- to say the least. He loves humans and has found himself hyper fixated on them to an unhealthy extent: often using his views on their greatness to degrade himself, saying things along the lines of "i'm just a plain old robot, I'm nothing compared to people". He tries to behave more human-like to make up for his lack of flesh, getting into the internet culture and practically becoming a meme parrot; trust me, if you don't know memes, half the stuff he says will not make sense.

[Korekiyo - Kaede]

Korekiyo's a pretty confident guy, often finding himself proud of the work he does; he likes to encourage others to do their best, but his odd addiction to learning about human habits leaves people's personal space feeling a tad invaded.

Kaede on the other hand, is a whole 'nother bag of what the fuck; her eerie demeanor often throws people off, considering at first glance she doesn't look all that weird. She considers the dark and twisted beautiful, and takes pride in her ability to offset people with her array of dark and haunting songs she knows how to play by heart. 

They do have different designs, but I never actually finished the design descriptions, nor did I save them to the doc. The only things I remembered were shuichi weards his hat backwards, kokichi has emo bangs, Kaito keeps his hair down, and Kaede wears a really pretty black dress that fades to a deep pink at the bottom.

[fipindustries]

three bittersweet feelings for which i dont have words

helping my mom

the other day i was visiting my mom and i had to go buy groceries, she decided to come with me to do much of the same, we both bought our separate stuff but when we get to the cashier she realises she forgot her credit card home, so i saw her there, in front of the cashier, getting incresingly desperate while looking through her wallet and then i stepped in and payed for both of our things.

the crazy thing was that it wasnt even that big of an expense for me and it was a lot of stuff, but as far as my finances go today i was able to perfectly accomodate it without worrying too much.

it was strange because usually i am the one who has to be bailed out of money problems, to be able to be there for someone else was... nice.

i remember like ten years ago being in a similar situation with my dad and he refusing adamantly, to the point of getting angry with me for trying to do the same.

yearning to share

i like the food that i cook. and by all accounts most people i know like my food too and while sometimes i might find cooking tedious or time intensive i do take pride in doing it and doing it well. i treat it much like any other artform or craft i practisce, like a talent i cultivated through the years, with tricks and techniques ive incorporated and something that i can show to others so they can appreciate it and, thus, appreciate me.

now, generally one of the biggest perks of living by myself is that i can cook my favourite foods whenever i want, in the amounts that i want, so that i can eat as much as id like, just the way i like it.

but today i found myself setting the table and looking at the giant pot of spagetti that i had made and... feeling lonely. i felt an acute need to share that food with someone, to feed and take care and cheer people who might feel lonely and hungry with the warm zesty meal that i cooked. it was a feeling very similar to that of going to bed alone for the first time after breaking out with someone, of reaching out across the bed and finding the sheets empty.

so much food and noone to eat it with, noone but me to enjoy it, noone but myself to feed.

happy to be overwhelmed

i have a lot on my plate right now.

i’ve been getting calls from the company i was training at and in a couple of weeks i might start working there which means i will finally have a stable job but also that from that point forward my life is going to change drastically for a really long time. on top of that i’ve been taking care of my uncle’s house but his boyfriend is coming back from abroad in a few days to stay here which means im going back with my mom BUT my uncle is happy to let me live at another of his apartments and i only have to cover the taxes but this might signify the first step in me actually getting my own place and moving out of my mom’s house for good which is really scary (i know, what an amazing problem to have).

on top of that im being comissioned six drawings which will be taking quite a long time to make, time that im not 100% sure i have. ALSO i was hired to direct an animated short, which means im having meetings and coordinating with the producer, the assistant director and the animation team making sure that the boat sails smoothly

ALSO ALSO, im still working on my own personal project, jennyffer, episode 4 and five, for which i have to coordinate with multiple people because i want to have voice acting in these shorts and they are a bit more ambitious than the last ones i’ve been making.

in the past any single one of these things on their own would have been enough to keep me crawling up the walls, hyperventilating, shutting down and refusing to function, and yet today i am tackling all of this which penache, resolution, comfidence and aplomb. im energized, invigorated, motivated. i have direction

to the day it has been literally a year that i was trapped in my ex’s apartment, crawling on the floor, having literally daily panic attacks, convinced every hour that i was about to die and desperate to find a way out. i was a wreck in body, heart and mind

today i have purpose, im tackling problems one at the time and living the life that i always dreamed to have.

[rhysand-vs-fenrys]

People SERIOUSLY send you that much anon hate just because you.....*gasp* joined a new fandom???? FUCK THEM. Keep being petty, sweetie. I support you 100000%.

Other fandom tumblrs post about ‘The Cruel Prince’, whatever Grisha-verse book is out, or that new story everyone is talking about recently and no one bats an eye. 

I do 1-3 posts a week (plus answering any asks) about a novel/show that is steeped in Asian culture and mythology and I get “stick to fandom” messages on the regular. Only phrasing it that way because frankly that’s the only difference I’m seeing here- that it isn’t originally in English.

The novel is available in English for FREE. The story was published by the author online for FREE. The shows (anime (donghua), chibi-anime (donghua), and the live action show) are available online with subtitles for FREE from legitimate and official sources.

FREE.

And I genuinely believe people would love the story if they gave it a chance. So why are other fandom tumblrs permitted to post as many times per day about whichever story they enjoy, but I’m basically told to stick to my lane because the one I recommend wasn’t originally in English?

Even though- once more for the people in the back- FREE.

I also think people have been misunderstanding this page for a while. The number of followers from 1 to now almost 10,000 has not changed  a single thing. This isn’t some official page owned by my followers. It’s a personal page run by me when I feel like it to shitpost on.

I’m not responsible for other people’s bad life choices that led them to follow me. I’m not changing how my page runs because someone assumes they know better than me.

And Petty is also like 100% how I roll. My fic “For You” was a middle finger to an Anon who was being a dick. “For You” is actually an abbreviated title. The file in my Docs folder was titled “For You To Choke On Anon”.

Petty is an artform.

[spaceorphan18]

What do you think about Kurt and Blaine’s chemistry in season 5? for some reason I’ve always felt like it was really off in the New York arc. I’m not sure whether it was the fact that the writers were only giving Klaine tension instead of happy moments or whether it was due to Darren/Chris, or if I’m just imagining it. Kurt just definitely seemed so cold during that period of time.

You know, I kinda figured I’d get this question eventually, lol.  

So - let’s talk about the New York Arc and Advanced Television Production.  

This question has /layers/ lol. 

For a simple answer, so you can check out if you’d like, I think their chemistry was fine, I think production was super rushed and flimsy at points, and I don’t really think Chris or Darren had anything to do what you might feel is /off/ but since actors are the face of the show, they get the brunt of the feedback.  

For a longer answer (and I mean long) follow under the cut! 

So, among being an avid fan of film production where I’ve picked up a lot of the industry knowledge (to which I’m not very -- just a fan) I’ve been listening a lot to The Office Ladies podcast, and they’ve been bringing some stuff up that I think is important to remember about film and tv production.  There are a lot of parts that go into it.  There’s the writer’s intentions, the director’s vision, the editor’s cut, the producer’s needs, and the actor’s performances.  And between those things - the show becomes what it is.  

1. The writing - The writing of Klaine in the New York Arc makes more sense when you look at the thing as a whole within context.  Kurt and Blaine were headed down a path towards a break up.  Kurt felt like he was losing his individuality and wasn’t communicating that well to Blaine, there were also some unresolved issues due to the previous break up, and the fact that Kurt was so stubborn on his stance about marriage.  Meanwhile, Blaine was so insecure, he depended on his relationship to mend those feelings, and tried to preserve that perfect feeling instead admitting that he needed help and the relationship wasn’t perfect.  

I’m oversimplifying, there are a lot more complex parts going on but neither of them were truly happy despite them feeling grown up adults in the city of their dreams.   The point being that they needed some time apart to grow up and mature a little to understand what being in an adult relationship means (explored more in season 6 after the break up).  

One of the problems, in general, with the writing is that it was so focused on the more dramatic moments of the Klaine story, we didn’t get to see much happy down time or times when they did work better.  This is a fault of Glee in general being a story about big moments and broad brushstrokes rather than zeroing in on the nuances of a complex relationship.  

2. The direction - believe it or not, the actors are kind of vessels for what production needs them to be.  Chris and Darren are both professionals (I’ll get to them in a minute) and if the director wanted more angst he’d give them another take.  Ultimately - the director makes the call whether or not he’s happy with how the scene is playing out.  If the directors weren’t happy with Chris or Darren’s performance, they would have done it over again.  

3. Editing - so, I’ve studied Glee long enough as an artform to now have paid attention to things like editing.  And let me say this -- I have long had issues with the way this show is edited.  I’ll have to do a separate post on it if you really want it, but let’s say -- how you put together a TV show from various takes makes a huge difference.  And by season five, the editing was choppy and often misleading.  Part of it is because the scripts weren’t great.  Part of it is because at this point I think they were under pressure to get things done in a short amount of time.  And part of it is, I believe, by season 5, most of production didn’t have their hearts invested as much as they used to.  

This goes and in hand with... 

4. General production -- I do think this context is important.  A beloved member of their family - Cory Monteith - had just passed away.  That is /hard/.  It’s hard to work around, it’s hard to write around, it’s hard to produce a show when someone you care for just isn’t there anymore.  On top of that - Glee was not as popular as it once was.  They were probably getting pressure from the network to do the show with less money, which meant less time to do all the normal production stuff -- and because glee had to incorporate things like musical performances, they were always pressed for time, which can cause sloppy production values.  

5. Notes from the Network - there are always some -- I have no idea what they were, and what the network insisted they had to change, but the network always hand some kind of hand in shaping the show for better or worse. 

6. Chris and Darren -- okay, let’s talk about this, even though I’m a little over this one, cause I’m tired of the two of them getting blamed for things - especially in season 5. 

First of all, I don’t know either of them personally.  And I think it’s unfair to speak for them.  Unless they come out and say specifically how they felt about that time period, I would say take this analysis with a grain of salt.  

No. I don’t think Chris was checked out.  I’ve often said that Chris’s time on Glee is a lot like going to college.  Sometimes it can be the best times! Sometimes it can be the worst.  I know when I finished, I just wanted it to be done and over so I could move on with my life.  I do think Chris was tired of certain aspects of the show -- I think he was tired of having to grow up on camera and in the media.  I think he was tired of people constantly thinking he was dating his costar when he (clearly) was not.  And both he and Darren were vocal about not really wanting Kurt and Blaine to get married (or being boring in the background of scenes). 

Do I think he hated his job? No.  Do I think he hated Klaine? No(ish).  I think he wished Kurt had his own story line, and I do think both he and Darren actually enjoyed the heavier emotional stuff they were getting by the time season 5 came around.  I also think that Chris does not want to be known as Kurt nor as one half of a popular TV couple because it impedes on his individuality.  And I also think Chris was ready to move onto other things in his life.  

Do I think that bleed into the show? No, I really do not.  I think Chris knew how the season was going to play out - and played it accordingly.  

(As an aside - I want to point out that Kurt during the NYC Arc is generally unhappy with more than just Blaine.  And in fact, I’d argue, he’s more irritated with Rachel at any given point than he is with Blaine.  Go watch Old Dogs New Tricks again -- he could have stuck it to Darren/Blaine, he did not.  He stuck it to Lea.  But that’s a completely different topic for later.)  

Meanwhile, Darren! So, I’m going to preface this by saying -- I love Darren, I really do, and under good circumstances, he can be a great actor.  And he has some just stellar moments in the NYC Arc.  He also has some not so great ones, too - and out of the two of them Darren wavers in acting quality during this time period.  I promise, it’s not a slam on Darren (I do love him!) but there’s some over-acting (and a little underacting) that’s going on, which doesn’t help much. 

Also, I want to point out, that a lot of issues Chris was vocal about concerning Klaine, Darren had as well, he was just better about being diplomatic to the fans about it.  He also wasn’t (as) bothered as Chris was about the whole tinhat thing (unless it involved verbally assaulting Mia, which then he put his foot down - yes that happened.) 

So.... let’s talk a little about the episodes in NYC Arc and hit up some of the problem points, shall we? 

New New York 

The biggest issue people always seem to have with this one is the performance of You Make Me Feel So Young - which is off putting out of context.  They’re supposed to be happily living together, right?? What’s going on?? Well, we’re a good nine months after Blaine moved in, it’s the morning after the bedbug scare where they were up half the night, and Kurt is a person who just needs his space and they’re living in a place that doesn’t have any walls. On top of that - Blaine is pushing a little hard on his fantasy of wanting to be an old married couple already. I’m not surprised Kurt isn’t all roses and daisies about it.  

Am I sad we didn’t get to see the first few months of sunshine and rainbows? Yes absolutely! They definitely allude to the fact that they’re having a lot of sex -- and I’m sure there were a ton of sexy times in the beginning. But living in one room with five-ish other people is not fun, especially for someone who needs alone time and space to recharge.  Or someone who just wants to have sexy times with his fiance and can’t because roommates.  

No, You Make Me Feel So Young isn’t the most feels-y, but I’ll also argue that Kurt isn’t the most checked out either.  There are moments in there where Kurt is genuinely happy and having fun messing around with Blaine.  And the point of the song is that they are young and shouldn’t be singing that dumb-ass song about being old marrieds anyway.  

The other thing is the whole Blaine moving out stuff.  Which... is entirely because it propels the plot of everything else going on, not because logic.  I do not really believe any young, engaged couple wouldn’t kick their friends out to their other friends house if that was an option so they could be together. But the show needed Kurt and Rachel to remain living together so Kurt could continue to be Rachel’s emotional prop.  Whatever. And they wanted to set up the ending where Blaine moved back in again as a full circle moment (even though they end up breaking up again, lol I’ll get to it.) 

So writing nonsense aside, I think they handled the important scene at the end of the episode really, really well.  It’s one of my favorite Klaine scenes because it’s a time when Kurt actually expresses what’s in his heart - that he’s conflicted because he’s figuring out that love is not all you need to make a relationship work and he doesn’t know how to navigate that -- or if ultimately, the relationship is what he wants.  But, it is, and his saying that his relationship with Blaine is one of the most precious things in his life is one of the strongest affirmations about anything that Kurt ever gives.  Happy or not happy in that moment, Kurt values his relationship with Blaine above everything - and will protect what he thinks the relationship means at all costs -- even if it means breaking his own heart in the process.  

Bash

This episode is a mess, and the weakest written episode of the arc.  It’s essentially two very different plot lines unevenly stapled together.  Kurt being bashed doesn’t get enough screen time, and it ends up being a morality tale for Rachel rather than delving into the impact it has on the actual gay members of the group.  Blaine’s POV is very limited, which is a shame because there’s an entire story there they really should have told.  

I’m using the still above to show that, yes, as awkward as the set up the scene above is - Kurt’s happy to see Blaine when he enters.  

Why is Kurt so cold during the scene where they lay flowers at the dude’s attack scene?  I don’t think he is? I think he’s recovering from getting the shit beaten out of him, and I’m under the impression that they guy actually died in the initial shooting of the scene and they changed it in post to have him live.  On top of that - Blaine’s feeling clingy because he almost lost the person whom his entire self worth is relying on at the moment.  

Tested

Tested is super, super complicated, and I’m just not going to rehash it here... again.  Please read my meta on this one - I do go incredibly in depth on it.  

I will say this -- Tested is an episode that is densely packed, and relies on subtext to tell a lot of its story.  While I love this episode, the episode needed to be 100% focused on Klaine to really do the stories they were telling justice, and a lot of it is up to interpretation.  

The biggest push back I always get on this one is the ending, and Kurt seeming ‘cold’ here.  And I’ll say this -- You can love a person deeply, and still be as affirming as you can, and still be upset about how they were treating you.  You can be sympathetic to their plights and frustrated that these conversations keep having to be had.  Blaine’s insecurities are feeling heavy to Kurt -- that is a part of being in a relationship, that is a part of being in an adult relationship.  Your prince and knight in shining armor is going to eventually be a human being with problems that you can’t always solve.  And sometimes that is tiring - no matter how much you love a person.  

Opening Night

There is zero Klaine in this episode - because it’s Rachel’s episode, and Kurt was needed as the gay best friend emotional prop.  Do I think there was an missed opportunity to show Kurt and Blaine happily dancing together at the club? I do! But I don’t think it has anything to do with any interpretation of their characters.  I think they told the actors to go have fun - and they did. 

The Back Up Plan

I don’t necessarily have any major faults with this episode, nor have I heard much push back against it?  Out of all of the episodes - this is the one where I do have some minor quibbles with acting, some of it being from Darren not clicking Blaine on for ten seconds or so at the beginning, and some of it from Chris being over-the-top in a few places, but nothing that fully takes me out of it.  Neither of them are being different in scenes with each other than they are in scenes with other people.  And there are some really solid Klaine moments in the episode itself.   

Old Dogs, New Tricks

AKA The one that Chris wrote.  Here’s my thing...  there isn’t very much Blaine in this episode (wisely so).  I think a) Chris wanted to write Kurt a story line that didn’t involve Blaine so Kurt could have a story line that didn’t have Blaine -- and that’s fine and valid and b) I don’t think he wanted the pressure of writing for Blaine, so wisely didn’t have him in it much. 

He wrote a very sweet Klaine moment that incorporated the overall story.  I have no complaints.  And I’ll add -- Chris (purposely so I assume) directed all the passive-aggressive writer-y things towards Rachel.  I do believe if he ultimately was having issues with Darren (or Blaine) he would have had zero compulsion about bringing that into the script. 

The Untitled Rachel Berry Project

Do people have issues with this one? -- I really only have one, and that’s the end of the scene referenced above with the still.  And it’s a good example of how I think production effects story.  This is a beautiful scene, until the last few beats.  We have this big emotional moment for Klaine -- and then it’s capped with a really dumb joke about Blaine being the luckiest guy in the world and a throwaway, badly edited kiss (scored to some upbeat, tacky scoring).  If it were me - I’d let the emotion of the scene continue, let the boys stay on the steps, let them kiss in an emotionally driven moment, and then they can go run up stairs to have sex and not make a joke about being turned on by birds.  The last ‘joke’ can be left on the cutting room floor because it’s really not needed.  But Glee being a ‘comedy’ felt the need to cap the moment before the break with a joke because it’s Glee.  

See what I mean? That’s not Chris or Darren’s fault.  That’s one part writing, one part directing/editing, and one part my opinion of it not working.  

Otherwise, I really don’t have issues with this particular episode. 

I’ll say this though -- a) Kurt is incredibly happy to have Blaine move back in and that means something.  b) the reason this is left on such an upbeat note, and not necessarily foreboding of what’s coming next season is that there was a real chance they weren’t getting a next season -- and they wanted to make sure the characters ended in happy places in case this was the series finale.  c) we were shortchanged two episodes from this season -- who knows what more they could have developed if the had had more time. 

*****

I don’t know if any of this helps (or if any of my additional meta helps) but I suppose I’ll say this -- I’ve meta’d these episodes so much that I see the cracks in the production, but I don’t really take issue with them anymore.  I like the story being told, and all things considered, I don’t think it’s all that bad.  

I think one thing to keep in mind is how Glee tells stories in general.  Are the couples happy? Well, then they’re in the background not doing anything.  Are they having conflict? Yes - well that’s front and center.  Also, keep in mind that Glee prefers telling stories about couples getting together more than them being together (or breaking up).  We start season 6 after the break up, and even season 4′s break up happens at the beginning of the season - why? Cause Glee loves writing angst-y couples who eventually get together in a big moment.  

And I’ll add to that -- did you notice that Sam and Mercedes go through a similar arc as Klaine during the NYC arc? No really - do you know why Mercedes breaks it off with Sam? Because their lives are just in different places and she wants to preserve her good feelings for Sam -- and that’s very similar to Kurt’s reasons at the beginning of season 6.  

No - this season isn’t happy, flirtiness of Kurt in season 2 (and I’ll argue that was Kurt’s story - not Blaine’s, and it’s also somewhat flimsy in structure when considering the love story aspect of it).  It’s not the background moments of season 3 - because they’re together, and there’s not a classroom to be backgrounds of.  (Could they have done a little more in the group scenes? Sure - but it’s not that bad.)  It’s not the angst fest of seasons 4 and 6.  And not helping is the fact that the first half of season 5 really had very little Klaine development at all.  

so, back to the beginning, I feel like the story they wanted to tell was about Klaine having conflict and resolving said conflict, and getting them to grow into an adult relationship.  Do I wish there were more happier times to balance that out? Of course I do! Do I feel like there’s a lack of chemistry or that Chris and/or Darren are to blame? Absolutely not.  Hope this helps a little Nonny - and feel free to ask me about specific moments if you need to <3 

[alcxandros]

12. Does your descriptive writing change with each muse, do they influence the way that you narrate and use language? 18. What draws you to roleplaying as a hobby? What do you find fun?

I had to think on this one for a minute, but I have to say, especially after picking up Garnet, that the way I write her and use discrptive language has absolutely changed compared to when I wrote characters such as Zell, Cloud, and Rinoa. I feel like the language I used was more ‘casual’, to the way I narrate and string words together now with Garnet feels more.. proper? I don’t really know how to describe it, honestly, but I do feel like there is a pretty big change in how I narrate and what words I choose to use. Maybe people who’ve written with me before Garnet can attest to this or disagree? 

As far as me and roleplaying, well let me tell you - me and this hobby go WAY back - back to around 05 or 06. It’s easily been something I’ve been doing nearly 15 years and I said in a previous post - when I don’t write for an extended period of time, or create.. it feels like something’s wrong at this point. Like something’s missing. I was going through a lot of loss and change in those years and writing was an escape - to the point of an addiction. Thankfully that’s no longer the case, and my reasons for continuing to writing have changed with type, but having this creative outlet has been a constant for half my life now and I honestly feel sad and get prone to worse bouts of depression when I’m not writing ( and have the mental energy to ). I remember a few years ago I was working so much I didn’t have time to write, or anything else. Sleep and work. It was misriable.. and when I took time for myself and after four months, felt that creative spark again... the thought that I lost it forever terrified me. Not being inspired by anything was a feeling I don’t know how to discribe other than I don’t want to ever feel it again. To say writing and roleplaying means a lot to me doesn’t really summarize it. It feels like a part of me much like a limb.

There’s a lot of things I find fun about it - from creating, world building, finding connections and friends who have the same interests I do, to finding inspiration in songs and books and seeing things through another scope. Story telling has been an art form as old as man. There’s just a draw to it and this is just another artform manifested. I think I have strengths in building on pre-established stories to craft a deeper narrative on something that wasn’t explored as heavily or at all. And as most others, I put a bit of myself or use my real life experiences as inspiration in my creative world, including my own traumas. Writing in a fantasy world is a safe way to navigate complicated feelings and while I can’t site it, I wouldn’t be surprised if therapists encouraged creative writing to help their clients, for those it applies to. Transparently, that’s why I am prone to writing darker or more disturbing / dramatic content - not because I like pain and suffering ( actually triggers for me in my real life ), but because it’s a tool to safely navigate my own shit in a safe, artistic, and healthy way. At the same time, I enjoy writing softer things like romance building and complicated / real relationships because as an aromantic with no local friends, it’s an avatar to explore things I otherwise don’t and it fulfills me living vicariously through something else with no real life consequence. 

Writing’s also one thing I have genuine confidence in and that’s a nice feeling to have lmao.

[goingbadly]

it’s pathetic to not enjoy being brutalized during sex? you should get an education. read a book.

Well, I mean, okay, so, I DO want to post a photo of my degree in response to this, but - hey! I went to university! And graduated! Because I am An Old. But really I don’t care what you enjoy during sex - what I care about is that the OVERWHELMING experience of women is that they get told what they can/can’t consent to can/can’t do with their own bodies. And I’m not even arguing for an examined experience of being brutalized during sex! Likely you should think about where your kinks come from and what you’re experiencing by indulging them, because there are a whole lot of things that are racist/sexist/misogynist/homophobic about heteronormative society that can be easily replicated in kink if you’re not careful and not thinking. But, I’m T4T gay and highly educated, and my partners are also highly educated, and there is NO response that is adequate enough for people that say things like that stupid shit you posted in response to us being like “hey, I like this thing.” (ALSO - just to be clear - no I will NOT tell you whether I top or bottom in my current relationships OR what the proportion of relationships either way is... forrrrrrrrrrrrrr reference, “I consented to this and enjoy it” is the experience I have... and my partners have.) So, line for line, here’s what’s pathetic about that quote:

The s/m concept of “vanilla” sex is sex devoid of passion. They are saying that there can be no passion without unequal power. -S/m, or physical violence, doesn’t necessarily have power in it, just violence. Violence and power are different things. The equating of someone being hurt with someone submitting/giving up power is short-sighted (there are lots of combinations of things you can be into that don’t have power, but do have violence!) -Also the relationship of people who sometimes enjoy getting brutalized to vanilla sex is - and this may shock you - really varied. There isn’t one kind of person. And the OVERWHELMING experience that I am familiar with is, “meh, doesn’t work for me,” or “meh, boring to me,” or “yeah, it seems limited” which... I mean, is, tbh, judgy, but comes from a place of being enthusiastic about exploring, not... like... saying you can’t love each other if you don’t brutalize each other. -This is a reduction of everyone who practices sex acts that include violence or power into one person with one opinion which - stay with me here - is not great for people who like different kinds of sex (which... wait for some really surprising news about queers...) That feels very sad and lonely to me, and destructive. The linkage of passion to dominance/subordination is the prototype of the heterosexual image of male-female relationships, one which justifies pornography. - A double whammy here! 1. Pornography ain’t bad, my friend, even though we can have a discussion about healthy porn consumption/healthy portrayals of ‘vanilla’ sex in porn, healthy relationships of performers to artform in porn, etc. But that whole puritianical “all porn is bad porn” is - again! A reduction of a really complex issue. -2. I mean. I just mean. I just mean. What... are you going to say about queers who do kink? Please don’t say we’re acting out heterosexual prototypes. Please do not be that silly. Women are supposed to love being brutalized. This is also the prototypical justification of all relationships of oppression—that the subordinate one who is “different” enjoys the inferior position. -*Alarm goes off* All sorts of people love being brutalized/doing the brutalizing! And uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh if you’re a woman who doesn’t get off on it I PROMISE you will meet tons of other folks who are into that, too. And like... man... “All kink is women getting brutalized and loving it” is like. What? -Also some kink is about fantasies of resistance and struggle! A really common one in the community is people who are sex assault survivors/trauma survivors getting to re-experience their trauma in a situation where they know they’re loved and safe, AND get to have the experience of fighting back/doing what they wished they’d done in the situation/feeling like they proved to themselves they were strong and could experience something different when they chose it. That’s a little hard for some people to hear about, but it’s actually really healing... and a very affirming and power-granting experience! Anyways all this to say a reduction of many, many people who seek many, many things out of power and/or violence into “Men hit women who are submissive and like it and then everyone feels caveman good that subordinate different people ENJOY being brutalized” is such an ice cold take. And it’s sad. And it closes you off to so many different varieties of experience that are weird and wild and wonderful. Okay I promised I wouldn’t tell kink stories but I am going to tell ONE kink story to close this off [THAT IS YOUR TRIGGER WARNING], which is about a time a friend of mine (they pronouns) and me (it pronouns) decided we wanted to do Weird Sex Science to find out what substances hurt the most in open wounds. Cut to a couple hours later as we’re on my kitchen floor with me naked and squirming as they try to catch me and rub more ginger in me, and my leg is COVERED in Frank’s Red Hot, blood, pepper, and salt, and my roommate (also they pronouns) walks in to us shrieking and laughing about how I am now a steak sauce (roommate, by the way, had been negotiated with about there bein’ fuckin on the kitchen floor...). There are so many kinds of fun, silly, sexy, hilarious fucking - but in this story, can you tell me, who was the Man Who Enjoys Brutalizing, and who was the Woman Who Enjoys Being Brutalized?

[awfulcomingdown]

The Touryst Review

The Touryst is a game about a compact, blocky dude in a hawaiian shirt. This dude is, or at least he is told that he is, on the search to discover some secrets, secrets that pertain to the islands he explores.

The game begins with a small, two-man motor boat pulling up to and docking in a place called Touryst Island. Then you, being one of the two men on board, are free to get out and begin exploring the island. 

A handful of things quickly become obvious. 

First of all, it is immediately beautiful. The entire game has a bizarre, blocky style. The bizarre thing is the way in which this blocky, childish style contrasts with the beauty of the world. The lighting is beautiful, and shines through the trees and into your eyes, so as to make your vision less clear. The background, which is to say everything that is not immediately in front of you, is blurred slightly, as if you’re looking through a camera lens and your character is the focus. 

Second of all, it is clear that this game is not going to be about following instructions. You wander around this island with little instruction, and the instructions you do receive feel more like personal requests of characters than they do the game needing to tell you what to do.

At one point, standing atop the first monument—which are the self-contained, puzzle-filled dungeons—you may notice that the answer to the puzzle is far off in the distance, down on a part of the island that you’ve most likely already visited. That is to say, it feels as though the game is giving you the opportunity to have a reminder of how to solve it’s first explicit puzzle by looking around the environment. 

In that first monument, you’ll solve some puzzles, and then you’ll talk to an older man, and he’ll tell you that there are four monument cores you need to collect, which are located on various other islands. He gives you the travel guide to your next destination, which you’ll need to show to the captain of the ship you arrived on in order to leave for the next island.

On the next island, you’ll begin to realize that going back and forth between islands is going to be a necessary part of this game. Elderly couples will ask you if you have any recommendations for islands they could visit, and you’ll have to say sorry, no, you don’t yet know of anywhere that would suit their desires. A note pops into your head—and another onto your menu—”Come back to these people when you’ve gone to an island that seems appropriate for an elderly couple to hang around and enjoy themselves,” you tell yourself.

Other things will bring you back and forth between these islands as well. Items you need to buy, pictures you’ve taken that you need to return for cash at the first island’s item shop, a young man on the second island who needs you to “Prove you know about soccer.” These things sit in the back of your mind and the middle of your start screen, waiting to be addressed.

There are, however, larger, vaster, more mysterious things to figure out. These are the secrets.

Immediately upon arriving on the island, people begin to speak to you of secrets. Not only do they explicitly tell you that the island you’re on is full of secrets, but they directly state that you, they know, love secrets. And so you do. You do because you are told you do and, maybe, because you really do.

This repeated, specific mentioning of the word “secrets” begins to itself take up space in the back of your mind, along with the other, named, secrets. Things are building to something.

Or so you might think.

The majority of The Touryst never lives up to the hopes it creates in you in the opening minutes.

There are plenty of interesting things to do, but often these interesting things are not mandatory.

For example, there is an arcade on Leysure Island, outside of which a man named Bob will challenge you to defeat his high scores on the three arcade cabinets therein.

So, you might think that this is something you need to do, and you might spend 25 frustrated minutes attempting to beat his high score in “FAST,” a fictional arcade game that is an homage to Shin’en’s Switch launch title Fast RMX. The game is fun and charming, as are the other two modest arcade games, but this is indicative of a larger problem with The Touryst.

That problem is this: nearly all of the most interesting and fun things to do in this game are slightly frustrating and entirely optional. The two of these, together, manage to slowly erode any desire you might have to commit yourself to overcoming these challenges.

If they were slightly less frustrating, or were necessary for you to do in order to progress the game, then they would feel as though they were worth your time. But they are neither, so they do not.

Another example: located on Soggy Island, a place in which it is always raining, there is a mine shaft. Once you have cleared this mine shaft of its rat infestation—which is, in and of itself, a fun and charming challenge—you are able to go diving in the mines in order to hunt for crystals.

Now, you may remember that there is a diamond shop on Leysure Island, in which a pawn-shop-owner-resembling man named Larry will tell you to come back once you’ve found at least ten diamonds.

So, you figure, Okay, I can sell these diamonds I’m going to be collecting. But this seems more important than that. Maybe there other uses for the diamonds as well.

So you begin spelunking, and it is, without a doubt, the most clearly entertaining and interesting thing you’ve done all game. It is 3D platforming in which you are always going directly down. You have a rope that you are sometimes forced to use but, for the most part, this is about making jumps into a dark cavern and attempting to land on small platforms. It’s great.

And then it slowly begins to frustrate you. As you get deeper and deeper into the shafts—which are divided as levels, at the end of which you can return to the surface if you so choose—you start to wonder, Wait, are these diamonds actually just for selling to that dude in that pawn shop? Do I not need to be doing this? Am I wasting my time?

It turns out, yes. 

They are only to be sold at the pawn shop. You do not need to be doing this. You are wasting your time.

And so it is with most of the optional activities in the game. None of them grant you anything more than money, something which you always have in excess.

It’s a bizarre feeling. Should I just be grateful that these somewhat interesting side activities are available to me? No, I don’t think so. Without participating in these side activities, this would be an extremely short, straightforward game. So why not integrate them into the story? Why is the most exciting part of this game a purposeless quest for capital?

Of course, this wouldn’t be such a big problem if the main objectives and story of The Touryst were good and interesting. But they aren’t.

The story of this game never goes any further than the original premise of “There are secrets, and you want to find them.” The secrets themselves involve answers about how the monuments were built and why there are blocky robot monsters in them. These answers are never interesting enough to remember.

The most interesting of the secrets is, again, an entirely optional one.

Upon wandering around the first island, you might notice a bottle floating just off shore. Collect that bottle, and you will be told that it is a fragment of a Touryst Guide, and that there are four of them in total. Collect the other three, and you will have yourself a guide to a new place called Tyny Island.

Once there, you’ll find a crashed airplane, inside of which you’ll find a safe, inside of which you’ll find a parcel. All you’re told about the parcel is that it’s addressed to “M…...m,” and that it’s up to you to figure out who to deliver it to.

I discovered this all after having already completed the rest of the game, and I couldn’t help but think, “Why is this significantly more interesting than the entirety of the main story?”

Sadly, even this mystery is slightly undercut by it’s ending. It turns out that the “M…...m” you were searching for was not a person at all, but instead was the “Monuseum,” a museum of monuments on the island of Fijy. That the person you were looking for was actually a museum is great. That, upon discovering this, the museum curator essentially says “Thanks” and tells you its an ancient artifact of some sort, makes you feel as though maybe this was all just another way for the game to take up five minutes of your time.

In the end, the story does very little explaining. You collect the four monument cores, and then you collect one last piece of technology, still unsure of why you’re doing all of this. And then something happens, and then the credits roll. In a post-credits scene, a sequel is directly implied in an inelegant bit of self-reflexivity.

And then the game’s over. And you’re sitting there wondering what it was that you just experienced. And you call your friend, because you feel the need to yell at someone about what the fuck just happened.

I told my friend that the game had been fine, but that no part of it had ever made me feel as though any of it was worth my time. I told her that I was unsure whether or not I should criticize something like this; something that is well made, and cared for, and in no way bad or upsetting, but just mostly pedestrian. 

I said that I was pretty sure that I should. She countered by saying that some people just want something pretty to look at and something to do, that she herself used to love playing video games just because they give you something pleasant to do. 

This was what made me sure that I am right to criticize this game.

Video games are more than just something to do with your hands. If video games are art, and they are art, then they should be treated as such. It is very easy to defend video games as an artform, it is much difficult to practice what your preach. 

I would never recommend this game to someone in order to show them that video games can be great and interesting. This game is rarely an echo of either of those things.

Some video games are art. The Touryst is an alright way to spend five hours.