#because the statement was clear as day
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aryin and cayde don't fucking. deserve that. lol. lmao.
#this is so out of context but i have no one to rant to atm#everyone's playing destiny and i don't wanna be dragging down tonight's session#over something like this#so i might dip this week#idk. i'm just talking with one of my best friends and while we find it funny (in a bad way) what the context is#we also find it really fucking annoying what the context is#because the statement was clear as day#and yet it was IGNORED#anyway.#lol. i'm going to go make icons again. ttyl.#vent tw#rant tw#negative tw#vagueposting ? tw#âĄ. ren writes â â underneath crimson skies .
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hmmm hwon
#speaking.txt#trying to sort through how i feel about the whole situation im hoping rambling here will help#subjectively i don't feel much of anything regarding it all. if you know me you know that im generally emotionless so this is#not unique. objectively though i feel upset it got to this point. i think?#looking at the timeline of events without dates cuz i don't have them; rumors about him working at a host club start popping up#they spread. generally on the international side at least no one cares if this is true or not because whatever if he does#people notice that a lot of basic facts about the group in the posts are wrong so who knows if it's even true#gfent just announces they're taking legal action then silence. which i guess makes sense if they are pursuing legal action#america tour ends. more rumors about him having a partner start spreading. blows up. hwon is announced on hiatus for health#reasons. the general assumption is that the health reasons stated were mental health reasons given everything that was going on#silence about his condition for a few months. then one random morning his departure is announced for vague reasons#if it's his choice to leave then that's his choice to make. i hope he can live peacefully from here on out#but if it's related to all the rumors and stuff spreading one would think better artist protections with definitive statements about#everything would help some; no?#if there's one thing gfent is it's vague idk how many times they make clear statements on matters#and i get. that not everything in life is clear cut there's grey areas everywhere. but when it comes to the artist under your label#shouldn't you want to help them better? if the rumors were false be clear about that from the beginning. if you investigate and#they're true and they're harmful be clear about that. if they're true and not an issue be clear about that#i don't get why you'd say nothing the entire time about them which would probably really influence his choice to leave#i don't know him ill never know his reasons for leaving ill never know if gfent actually pursued legal action. and that's fine im a fan and#theyre a business at the end of the day but it's just so weird i guess. i do feel bad for hwon. and i will miss him in the long run i think#i just can't help but feel if everything was handled better it wouldn't have to come to this y'know#or if it did come to this it'd be more justified. or something idk
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okay genuinely, I am so fed up with this site. like don't get me wrong, I love being on here and interacting with friends and stuff, but people are so nasty to others for no reason. we get hate mail for venting too much, we get hate mail for being too happy. we get fakeclaimed. we get people trying to trigger an ed relapse. we get victim blamed. we get invalidated. we get all this hate, despite avoiding conflict at all costs. it's infuriating because no matter what we do, someone is out to get us
#đŤ.vents#to the anon that fakeclaimed Asra and the arcana crew last night:#your statement made it clear that you do not understand DID/OSDD/systemhood at all. your statement made no sense whatsoever#to the anons that have sent us triggering ed/body comments:#I do not care. we do not care. recovery has been tough but it has been worth it. this is not just my body anymore#this is a vessel housing 60+ people. health is the priority#and to the anon that told me that my victim complex and self absorbtion have caused everyone to abandon me:#maybe you're right. maybe some who walked away walked away because of that. but those are personality traits caused by trauma#those are symptoms of the disorders I have. and the people who care about me know that and accept that. and I work on myself to be better#and to all of the above:#your actions and words are vile. sending hate to people who are clearly undeserving of it is disgusting and immature#one day you will look back on your actions and despise yourself. and that is what you deserve
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a little pick-me-up for you (suggestive nsft - don't open where the other court goers can see you đ¤)
this art reminded me about one of your kinktober fic ideas, you know the one))
https://x.com/unalepidoptera/status/1847990954298417448
Ahaha, thank you, anon!! I looove that (and that artist! They've been doing so much amazing work for kinktober!!)
#thank you for distractions from court too haha#cross-examination yesterday was A Lot! 0/5 stars do not recommend getting cross-examined by lawyers#my sister's lawyers said i did really well though and came across very clear and calm#which is nice because i felt like my heart was trying to climb out of my chest for most of it lol#and they told me beforehand that they'd do mop up after my sister's ex's lawyers were done with me if i fucked up#and they didn't so i do think they were being honest haha#court was really intense in general yesterday#like it truly is a bloodsport once you're in a courtroom with barristers#day 3 today and it'll be a long one#but hopefully tomorrow will just be final submissions and closing statements now#my sister's unlikely to get a result immediately though so it'll be a bit of a waiting game from the sounds of it#fingers crossed but it does seem to be going well for her
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supporting the decolonization of palestine is not antisemitic
#i am seeing a lot of posts the last couple of days arguing that anyone saying israeli settlers should leave israel are antisemitic#that such a statement inherently dehumanizes jewish people#it does not. it acknowledges that israel is an apartheid state. a settler colonialist state enforced by a military#and that all states such as that should be deconstructed and done away with because they're engaging in ethnic cleansing#and that the people of palestine deserve their land returned to them after the combined british rule and the colonization of israel#and let's be clear here: the deconstruction of israel doesn't equal the expulsion of jews from palestine#there are and have been jewish palestinians the entire time and they deserve to retain their ancestral homes just as anyone else does#this is not an issue of religion. we cannot allow ourselves to act as though it is. this is an issue of power control and capital
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"ed shot izzy in the leg because izzy blamed the poisonous atmosphere on the ship on ed's love for stede, as if it was something bad, when it was in fact good and made ed happy"
god help me. literally what are those people watching the show with because it sure as hell can't be their eyes. ed shot izzy for talking shit about his pure and restorative love for stede. ed "fuck you, stede bonnet" teach. ed "freezes when izzy mentions a part of stede's catchphrase and goes to threaten the crew with a gun as izzy follows him stammering that he did not mean to mention The Previous Owner Of This Vessel" teach. this ed. the same guy who literally went krakenmode after stede abandoned him and had all of his things tossed off the ship -- along with the crew, "his playthings". ed "you're not a fucking mermaid >:(" teach.
THIS ED. shooting izzy to say "you're wrong and you're fired, loving stede was GOOD actually". ??????????????
#shrimp thoughts#what's going on in this club. is it the water? it has to be something#also i genuinely am unable to understand how people can still think the pink robe wearing songwriting and talent show organizing ed was GOO#he WASN'T HEALING. he wasn't being himself! he was adopting the thing he thought were stede -- fancy fabric! Healthy⢠communication!#'why are we even pirates? we should do a talent show!' -- to distract himself from his own pain! what are you people ON#if ed's true self was a pink silk femme songwriter then WHY would he embrace it AFTER and ONLY after stede has left him at the altar?#metaphorically? do you people genuinely think that ed was super fine after stede just fucking disappeared into the night after his#confession? that he was fine n peachy to Talk It Through with his crew? that he was in his right mind when he told basically total stranger#who still knew him as The Blackbeard to just call him ed? ????????????????? GUYS. WHAT.#and ngl izzy was sorta right to blow the fuck up at ed. the way he did it wasn't good and it's clear izzy's response to traumatic emotional#events is to just process it quietly on your own and move on because there's work to do so he's NOT well equipped to deal with baby's first#heartbreak but dear godddddd piracy was their JOB it was how they earned money and supplies to LIVE. you can't live if you quit your#job to make friendship bracelets and give each other cute makeovers all day! how is that a controversial statement!#but then people are still convinced cottagecore retirement is 100% going to be the endgame so. what am i expecting here
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a moment of joy in days of tired darkness!!!
#i complain way too much here so sharing my triumphs <3#(taking a page from songbird because i want to be more like her)#getting home from work today i was able to get ALL of my chores done!!!#i loooved having my friend stay with me for a week i truly needed the break and sheâs such a blessing <3#(we bought âsoul sistersâ matching bracelets - hers gold and mine silver - and the statement couldnât be more true đĽš)#but in that i let my room get VERY messy#and i was busing working yesterday and didnât have time (literally cried on my way home because of how tired i was)#so i made it a goal to do everything tonight so tomorrow (my one day off) i may relax!#so i was able to clean my room; do two loads of laundry; wash my bedding; vacuum; water my plants; and tidy my bathroom!!#it may not sound like much but it was a MESS#also i did my nails cause they broke :(#so now they are VERY short (had to cut them) and i painted a few coats of clear nail polish so hopefully they wonât break#i have to get gas and get my oil changed and exchange some icecream tomorrow morning#but then iâm just gonna relax!!!#would like to change my themes but we shall see. i want to watch tv and read mostly#also iâm gonna stop in and book a hair appointment for next week!!#thatâs right iâm gonna chop off my hair#itâs been years and i didnât get it trimmed as it was growing out so i have lots of split and dead ends#and if i have to get it cut i may as well just go all the way yknow#i love having short hair and iâm lowkey excited#and i work 6 days after that but thankfully i booked myself for opening shifts which leaves my evenings free to myself which i really love
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he was talking about Biology Facts this evening and got pretty irritated when I made several feeble attempts to make his statements less absolute, which like. sure. okay. most people find it irritating so I usually don't bother unless they're making it a discussion on purpose but he likes having the most complete picture of things that he can and also has never formally studied biology. but sure. fine. you're crabby tonight so I can just smile and nod while you ramble at me about science thoughts and we'll both feel the conversation was incomplete but whatever.
#he did also buy and deliver soup for one of my good friends who's sick rn#since I can't actually do it by myself#so like he still comes out ahead at the end of the day.#he even said we should make them more soup over the weekend.#he's just crabby often because he's being way overworked#and most of the time he handles it very well.#but with arin so much less convenient to contact he just kinda takes on more of the burden of relation by default#so it's not as simple as it was#(also to be clear it was like. not Overtly Shady statements.)#(mostly just stuff that artificially aggrandizes humans)
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Lies the Genshin Men say
*little explicit here and there*
Explicit sections: Childe, Dottore-ish, Kaeya, Baizhu
The Harbingers
Pierro: He says he prefers to see you in his colors, mainly blues and black. Truthfully he adores you in red. He canât keep his hands off you when you wear red. He also buys you anything thatâs red, dresses, shoes, lipstick, flowers, all because the color reminds him of you. For events he prefers you to wear jewelry with darling bright sapphires but your jewelry case is filled with too many rubies to count.
Il Capitano: He says he prefers his hair straight and unrestrained. The truth is he will fall asleep if you play with or style his long back hair. Capitano feels the most loved when you are braiding his hair or giving him a scalp massage. When he misses you he braids his hair but he starts at the nape of his neck because his big fingers canât braid from the top of his head like you do.
Pantalone: He claims he doesnât care what perfume you wear. This statement is partly true. During galas and social functions he tells you to wear sents that are known to be pricey but not oppressive, expensive and understated he says. However at home he loves your natural sent, with out shame he will set you on his lap and tuck his face into your neck and take a deep breath, it seems like a sigh but he really is smelling you.
Childe: He tells you he loves everything about you equally, but itâs clear that he adores your boobs the most. Ajax loves to hug you from behind and squeeze or caress your chest while hugging you and will whine and beg to let him if you deny him. He loves to burry his head in your chest after a long day. When you donât wear a bra you can persuade him to do pretty much anything.
Scaramouche: He tells you that he doesnât care if you learn Japanese or not. In reality his knees will buckle if you call him âanataâ, after you two got married. When you speak with him in Japanese he is so much more animated and emotional. His heart swells with pride when you two speak Japanese in domestic settings. Sing to him in Japanese and he will cry and or fall asleep.
Dottore: He claims to be dominant, which he is, most of the time. He will boss anyone around and make them conform to his will, but he will burn the world for you if you wanted. You tell him to jump and he will ask how high. He will also be extra pliant if you tug on his hair a bit.
Mondstadt
Albedo: He tells you he doesnât mind not having a âdomesticâ relationship. In truth he loves seeing you play with Klee. He loves when you cook for him. He loves coming home to you, if he could freeze time to stay in those homey moments he would.
Diluc: He tells everyone that he doesnât play any instraments. However at home he will play the sweetest melodies for you on the piano. His playing is for your ears only. The only other people he will play for is your future children.
Kaeya: He promises you that he will never hurt you. However, he will bite, scratch, and suck on your skin all day every day if you let him. He adores leaving possessive marks on you as well as giving you painful pleasure, the best kind of pleasure in his book.
Venti: He claims to be chill and not possessive at all. But he will stare and scowl at people being flirty with you. He will place his hands possessively on your waist when anyone gets too close to you. He would keep you locked up at home if he could, he just could never share you with anyone.
Liyue
Baizhu: Baizhu claims to dislike your bossiness, but in fact in almost any scenario it kinda turns him on. He loves when you use him for your own pleasure. He loves when you tell him what to do to make you happy or to get you off.
Xiao: He tells you that he doesnât want anymore people in his life. However, he truly wants a few kids of his own running about, helping him make breakfast for you every morning. The thing he wants most is a family with you.
Zhongli: Not exactly a lie but Zhongli doesnât like you eating non home cooked food. Any food that isnât made by someone he trusts, he wonât let you eat. However whenever youâre feeling down or kind of out of it he will order food and bring it home to make you smile.
Inazuma
Goro: He tells everyone who asks that he hates his ears and tail touched, everyone is too rough with them. On the other hand, youâre so gentile with him, when you play with his hair that he canât help but enjoy when you gently pet his ears.
Kazuha: He will tell you that the world is inspiration. He tells you his poems stem from the sights he sees and emotions he feels as he travels. But in truth Kazuha has not written one poem without you on his mind, you have been his muse and inspiration since you met.
Ayato: He says he doesnât mind what you wear. But he canât help but feel happy when you wear the expensive silk sets he bought you. Silk just fits you for some reason. To him silk complements your soft skin perfectly, the smooth reflective fabric just radiants and amplifies your beauty.
Heizo: Whenever he is tired he will go on and on about how he âisnât sleepyâ or how heâs âjust gonna rest his eyes.â This man is stubborn when it comes to going to bed. He just wants to spend more time with you. You might have to make him tea and scratch his back while he lays on you to get him to fall asleep without a fuss.
Thoma: He claims to be neither here or there on who cooks meals. In actuality in his brain he cries and begs for your cooking. It could be any cuisine and he will be happy. He just loves your cooking and your adoration especially after a long day of taking care of others.
Itto: Itto tells anyone and everyone that heâs married to you. He just loves you so much and fantasizes about your wedding to much sometimes he forgets youâre not actually married yet.
Sumeru
Alhaitham: He tells you that you can sleep by yourself. In reality you and him both know you canât sleep without each other. If youâre angry with him and you sleep on the couch you two will end up making up in the night when he comes to pick you up and take you back to your shared bed.
Cyno: He claims to not get jealous often but truthfully he craves your attention and gets jealous when he doesnât get it. He knows how his friends donât favor his humor so he gets a little insecure when you laugh at their jokes sometimes. Just know he will be clingy behind closed doors to make up for being jealous of his own friends.
Kaveh: Everyday he tells you that he wonât overwork himself, he will take breaks today. He doesnât, no matter how determined he is he will not take a break until you make him. On days when heâs stuck in his head you have to visit him while heâs at work or at home so he can come back down to earth here and there.
Tighnari: He will complain anyone who will listen about how he hates going into Sumeru city for one thing or another. However he will be giddy when he goes onto Sumeru City to visit you. While he doesnât like the city, it isnât so bad when youâre with him.
Fontaine
Lyney: He claims to love all the ways you touch him. However he does have a favorite, he loves when you scratch and massage his back. When you work through his back with your skilled hands he is a happy groaning mess. After a massage he will be like a napping pile of jello. Cuddles with a now loose muscled Lyney are so heart warming.
Neuvillette: He hates the taste of coffee, thatâs a plain fact. However, he canât help but enjoy the taste of coffee if itâs from your lips. The quick good morning kiss you give him as you sip on your coffee makes his head dizzy instead of disgusted like he normally is at the taste of coffee.
Wriothesley: He claims he doesnât mind you going out alone or without him. Truthfully you are never actually without his surveillance. He has a tracker on your phone and he sends one of his coworkers to make sure you are always safe.
#genshin impact#genshin x reader#genshin harbingers#genshin inazuma#wriothesely x reader#neuvillette x reader#tighnari x reader#cyno x reader#alhaitham x reader#kaveh x reader#itto x reader#ayato x reader#thoma x reader#heizou x reader#kazuha x reader#goro x reader#baizhu x reader#xiao x reader#zhongli x reader#venti x reader#diluc x reader#albedo x reader#kaeya x reader#dottore x reader#pantalone x reader#wanderer x reader#capitano x reader#childe x reader#lyney x reader#pierro x reader
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![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/b35c4bfda66e5707be41218dc3616d7a/b56019210cbb29be-bf/s540x810/df45ed7b35352b5b76921c068f2a6c7204de27e0.jpg)
Nerd!Nanami who whispers filthy praises into your ear while youâre sitting in his lap and his fingers are curling deep up into your cunt.
Heâs got his glasses on but theyâre sitting center on the bridge of his sharp nose, allowing them to slide down slowly since heâs too distracted with you to push them up like normal.
Youâre facing him and your arms are wrapped tightly around his neck, legs spread nice and pretty over his lap while he drives his thick veiny fingers up into your leaky hole. With every moan you let out into his ear, his cock bulges harder against his tight tan slacks.
Rolling his hips up slightly in an attempt of getting some friction, Nanamiâs all in your ear whispering to you. âSo wet fâme ân Iâve barely even touched you all day. Did you miss my fingers that much, sweetheart?â He talks as if you werenât dry humping him less than twenty minutes prior to thisâŚ
Even so, you nod and your lips graze his ear. âUhuh,â You babble, feeling his fingertips curve right against your g-spot before rubbing against it genteelly.
âWords, pretty girl. Talk to me.â Nanami hushes out to you while dragging his fingers outwards slowly before plunging them right back in and listening to the gorgeous squelch that rings out from your pussy.
Your arms cage his neck all the more tighter and your hips jerk forwards. âFuck. You w-were busy with work all day Kenâ, hnngh⌠couldnât s-stop thinkinâ about your hands ân how much Iâoh fuuck, I m-missed them.â
His lips curve into a knowing smile and he has to adjust his legs below you slightly to stop himself from snatching his fingers out of you and bouncing you up ân down his cock for that entire statement alone. Nanami loves it when you talk while he pleases you, he loves the way your words come out all pitched and full of pleasure, just canât get enough of it.
âIs that so?â He hums simply with a tortuous swivel of his two fingers against your walls that has your legs caging around his thighs tightly. âDid you touch yourself to those thoughts too? Hm?â Nanamiâs voice has you dripping all down the skin of his hand, your slick shiny against his wrist as it drips off of him and right over his bulge.
You drop your head into the crook of his neck and roll your hips forward in an attempt of riding the fingers heâs fucking you with. âN-No but, I wanted to.â You admit honestly.
Nanami suppresses a groan. He can only imagine how needy you were for him, probably squeezing your thighs together all day just because you missed him. âAw,â Nanami coos deeply in that smooth honey-coated baritone of his, âYou shouldâve done it and then sent me a video. I wouldâve stopped working and came to help you, sweetheart.â
Your breath hitches at the thought alone and you immediately start lifting your hips to escape the overwhelming rush of pleasure, to which Nanami places his other hand on your waist and keeps you in place.
âStay still, pretty girl. Lemme take care of you,â Heâs whispering to you again, digging his fingers in and out and in and out while slipping his thumb up and rolling circles over your twitching clit. âDonât run when yâknow she missed me this much. Sânot nice.â
âKento,â You whine in a desperate tone before sliding one of your hands down to hold his wet wrist.
Nanami only increases the pace of his fingers at the sound of your wines, allowing the slicks of your pussy to overtake your small noises rather quickly. Then, he turns his head and kisses at your neck just as you lift and toss your head back. Sucking on your skin, staring up at you intimately, fucking his fingers you adore so much deeper inside youâNanami makes it so very clear that he just loves pleasing you like this.
âAfter this,â He speaks hotly into your skin and he can feel your cunt pulsing and clenching around him with every word. âIf you help me finish my paper withinâ thirty minutes, Iâll fuck you all night jusâ like you want me to.â As his little challenge leaves him, youâre making a mess of his two fingers.
Gasping, âMmnh, really?â Which only makes him smile because he knows damn well heâs going to do that regardless of the paper he has due tonight.
âReally.â Nanami confirms.
Hell, heâll fuck you while he completes the damn paper if he has toâŚ
Heâs practically picturing it nowâhaving you bent over his work desk, rolling his hips firmly into yours and driving his fat cock in and out of your sopping walls while he simultaneously reaches over to your side and messily writes or types out what he needs to.
Your moans and soft whimpers of his name would be distracting, sure. But Nanamiâs pretty sure he can fill you and his paper up at the same time with no problemsâŚ
#nanami x y/n#nanami kento x reader#nanami x you#jujutsu kaisen nanami#nanami smut#jjk nanami#jujutsu nanami#nanami kento#nanami x reader#jjk kento#kento smut#kento x reader#kento x y/n#kento x you#jujutsu kento#kento nanami#jjk smut#jjk x you#jjk#jjk x reader smut#jjk x y/n#jjk x reader#anime smut#nerd nanami
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Tim: so why should we select you?
Guy A: I'm rich and handsome
Dick: Bruce is literally a billionaire. are you saying you are more rich than him?
Jason: and handsome? Don't make me laugh you look worse than our family dog.
Guy A: ex-xcuse me??
Damian: you are excused. Now get out
Tim: and what about you?
Guy b: I can protect him
Damian: protect?? dad??
Dick: [scoffs] It's like saying you can protect Batman.
Guy b: but he ain't Batman though
Jason: bitch he might be
Damian: where did you even find these people Tim?
Jason: seriously? imagine saying u can protect Batman
Dick: nah bruh imagine flexing money and looks on Bruce
Tim: ok guys this is the last candidate for the day
Tim: so what makes you special?
Clark: I can cook for him
Jason:[snorts] What if you can cook for him? How can it help our Bruce?
Clark: I'm sorry I'm not as rich as him but I can cook, clean, and care for him
Dick: have you brought anything to claim your statement.
Clark:[places the pie] I brought this Kansas special apple pie-
Damian:[already on his second slice] ae-ets gsoo ghuuud
Jason, Tim, and Dick fighting for the last piece
Clark: uh..soo
Damian:[clears his throat] You are selected.
Dick: Definitely
Jason: prepare your vows
Tim: btw who recommended you? Because you have a really ordinary background
Clark: oh it was Bruce
[collective HUH from batkids]
Clark: [snickering] It was to get approved by you guys
[collective even louder HA]
Clark: [laughing] That's because we are already dating
[collectively yelling WHAT]
Clark: [changing into Superman] hate to leave like this on our first meet but Metropolis needs me
[collective screaming]
#superbat#batman#bruce wayne#clark kent#superman#superman x batman#damian wayne#jason todd#tim drake#dick grayson#robin#my dumb stuff#attempt at humor#dc fluff#humor#batfam#batfamily#protective batfam
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The Guilty Plea
SIMON 'GHOST' RILEY x FEM!READER TASK FORCE 141 x FEM!READER
Traitors Among Us (Part 1) and Innocents Among You (Part 2)
Verdict Due (Part 4) Clear Skies (Part 5)
Summary: As you're discharged from the infirmary, under watchful eye, you head to Laswell to talk on the rest of your now ruined military career. Of course, you're forced to confront your team as it happens, the last people on earth you'd like to see.
If you liked this would you Buy me a Coffee?
---
Running your fingers along the raised, pink scar across you cheek, the feeling of it...it really looked terrible. A part of you thought it would disappear, hoped it would, but it didn't. It just became severely more noticeable. Looking at this, you knew you'd always have to think of it. You'd sport this reminder for the rest of your life.
Looking away from it, you find your own tired eyes in the mirror, you haven't been sleeping well. Or at all. You can't remember the last time you got 4 hours, let alone 8. Dark circles still surrounded them but at least the bruising and the swelling had gone down.
You couldn't recognize yourself. Not really.
This woman looked so exhausted, so frail and so goddamn angry. It was accurate, it was how you felt. All of it. So, you supposed that the mirror's reflection was the truth, this was you indeed.
"If you need another day or two, no one will ask questions."
You glance over towards your psychologist, your fucking therapist, a nice little 'gift' sent over by the bureau to check in on your mental state after your ordeal. Glaring at him through the reflection of your mirror, he sighs, putting down his pen that slaps against his notepad, "I can't help you if you don't talk to me."
"I'm going to Laswell." Ignoring his statement, you speak. "I'm ready. I'll pack up. Get back to base. Vera had me discharged from the infirmary. I can start ov--"
"Vera?"
"My nurse. You met her," you continued, annoyance spiking at the interruption. Your wrist brace squeaking quietly under the pressure of your fist tightening beneath the table.
"Right..."
"Do you listen to a word I say outside of...my 'trauma'?" You wonder, bluntly.
Your psychologist blinks, surprised, before clearing his throat, appalled. "If you feel I can be more attentive to your state of well-being throughout our process, than by all means--"
"Oh, so 'no'?" you lean back into your seat, a strained laugh leaving you. His lips press together and you continue before he can find the words. "Because whenever I mention leaving this fucking team, you either adjust our schedule for another two weeks or suggest hypnotic therapy, as if I need anyone else digging around to fuck up my mental state."
"I never meant to imply--"
"Oh, you implied it," you interrupted, gritting your teeth. "I know what I want. And I want off Task Force 141."
He taps at the leather of his notebook. "Scars heal, just remember that, Ms. (L/n). The reminders of your experience shouldn't have to haunt you."
"It's not the scars, I've had my share way before this," you admitted, rising to your feet. You exhale deeply that tells to the effort of it, the steel gear hinges along your leg braces shift with your change of position. Still getting use to them. "It's the person."
"Has she changed, you think?" the psychologist begins to write, getting somewhere.
"She doesn't exist anymore."
Finally, placing the mirror down and onto the side table, you pushed off of the table, rolling your IV pole along with you. Passing the chair your psychologist sits on, he closes his notebook with a frustrated huff, looking over his shoulder. "Session over for you already, Ms. (L/n)?" he sighs. "We've still got the hour."
"I'm done," you take the knob in your hand. Turning.
In more ways than one.
"You understand that, informing your captain on your leave is required of you. Have you spoken to any of them, in the last few weeks?" he spoke up, quickly. "I'm sure giving them a space to open up, share from their view--"
"Why should I care--"
"--will give you better understanding, better clarity of the situation they were in--
Appalled. "What the fuck?" Jamming the door closed with a loud, shuttering thud, you whip around. "IT'S NOT ABOUT THEM!" you could just rip your hair out. "Who--who says that to someone?!"
Your psychologist sits there, eyes wide in confusion. "What--"
"Christ, can you hear me? Can you--can you see me? I've got metal plates in my spine, braces holding my knees in place and nerve damage that'll never heal! Who gives a fuck about them!" your skin feels red hot, your face twisted in rage. "I gave my life! My life to this! And then I'm tortured, I'm threatened, drugged and beaten by my own team, my f--my family for eight fucking years..."
You continue with a heavy chest. "And I'm supposed to invite them for dinner to talk and listen them bitch and moan about why they thought it was necessary to beat me to death for two weeks?! Fuck you!" you spat. "I don't owe them anything!"
"That's not what I was trying to say, Ms. (L/N). I apologize, I overstepped. Come sit down--"
"Of course you meant it," you interrupted, mock humor. "Don't be a pussy, own up to it. Revel in your truth. Be tter yet--" you snatch a journal from the cabinet. Tossing it his way. "Make a note of it."
Turning the knob, you leave the room with a slam of the metal door.
---
You were officially famous. On the base, you were now a legend.
A story that would be mentioned and told at lunch for months. Probably years.
First, you were a rat. Next, you were innocent. This was the most gossip any of those in service had ever seen in their years of service.
An interesting reminder to those in service that you weren't safe off duty either.
You learned a few days ago that there was an update put into the interrogational unit, something about how to properly go about dissecting evidence and being on the lookout for enemy spies in the militia.
You guessed you had been told about it in an effort to be appeased by the thought that the head of control paid attention to anything beyond their own noses for once. But, you had little to no faith in a system that's nearly killed you on and off the field by now, so it didn't matter.
You doubted the new rules would be followed though, there was a plethora of things they'd done to you in that cell that were both illegal and unsanctioned. Most of all, that were expected towards an enemy, a prisoner of war at best, and not a fellow marine.
You arrive at the housing quarters, swiping your key card, pulling the handle and entering the wing. Immediately, you're greeted by a dozen eyes, conversations stopping short and clothes ruffling to silence, suddenly whispers fill the space and eyes turn away.
"Oh, god, it's her..." says one man in the far corner.
"Shut the fuck up, man!" came a harsh whisper back.
"I didn't know it was that bad..."
All those eyes on you, makes you pause in your step, looking around at all of your fellow soldiers, the men and women you've served with for years. Many you recognized, ate with, fought beside that turned their backs to you now. Out of respect? Out of distaste, morale, nerves, pity, it all didn't matter. It all felt the same.
The wheels attached to your IV pole suddenly sounded much too loud on the polished flooring, as you walked down the hall as fast as you were able to.
Breathing out deeply, you get to an elevator, pushing on the button, once, twice, three times, just open goddamn it.
With a ding, the metal doors open, and suddenly you're aware that people could be in the elevator, they could be in this elevator, he could be in this elevator. Your eyes flicker down to the floor, your grip on the pole of your iv tightens, your shoulders stiffen, waiting for a blow that will never come.
You stand there as the doors open up, the small space empty, the metal walls reflect only her and a streak of lighting from the ceiling.
Looking up slowly, finally taking a breath, before sliding the iv up and onto the elevator, following it as you press your floor number along the way.
The ride up is fast, a little rumble as it stops, and then the doors open. Faster than you were prepared for.
Peeking out down the hallway, luckily no one to bump into, which you were thankful for. But, it didn't make this hall any less haunting. You'd been cornered in this same hall, you could recall being hauled out of the room after the solid handle of a knife hits your temple.
You don't go down fast enough, whipping around as you stumble to take the wrist of your attacker, mostly for balance, it's Price. In shock, you're unprepared as Johnny's arm encircle your neck, locking you into position as you both stumble backwards onto the floor. He blocks your airways, hushing you harshly as you struggle, feet kicking out and your vision blurring as your team surrounds you. Your family.
That was quite the headache to wakeup with afterwards.
You hadn't quite remembered until now. Being back served as a hell of a kickstart to your memory.
Just a few more reasons to get the fuck off of 141.
Getting off the elevators, the metal doors sliding closed behind you, you make your way down the hall. The polished flooring creates a subtle squeak through the wheels of your iv pole, your hand absently running over the fading stitches along your side.
Passing the shadows of your tortured memory, the doorway of the office was closed, locked.
You pass Kyle's room.
Johnny's.
Finally, you rush up to the next room on the left, grabbing the handle, before beginning to twist, but then you're yanking your hand back as if the metal had burned you. Your back ramming into the back wall, catching yourself, this wasn't your room.
It was Simon's.
You'd spent hours, days, in that room. More than your own.
Why wouldn't you? You were about to get married to the man. You had more in this room than you had in yours.
Sharp breaths leave you, shivering in your effort to keep yourself together, your head goes back into the wall, swallowing down the ache in your chest.
You wait, muscles tensed and your body pressing back into the wall, hoping it'd absorb you if that door opens. Listening for every sound, any pin drop, even an exhale from beyond that doorway. Luckily, Simon seemed to be out for the day.
Hurriedly, nearly running, you steady yourself against the wall as you rush down to the corner of the hallway, finally finding your room.
Turning the handle, it's not locked, it's broken. It opens with ease.
Entering the room slowly, pushing the doorway aside, the crackle of glass beneath your boots as you step forwards, clothes and picture frames laying scattered.
The mattress flipped and ripped open, springs and cotton cut from it. Your wall of metals and certificates, from acts of bravery and mementos of valor, discarded, later you'd find them in the trash, one with a bullet lodged into the gold.
Sniffling as you leaned down, picking a specific frame off the ground, the only one that hadn't been broken. Laying along the ruined rug, with no care for the glass digging through your jeans, you stare at the still shot of your family.
The only family you had outside of Task Force 141, your father and his sister, military brats themselves, until their retirement. Your mother had passed, or just up and left, days after your 5th birthday, you weren't completely sure, the story kept changing every year. But, these two were the only family you've ever known, ever had, until you joined the military, following in their footsteps.
They'd been so proud when you arrived back after your first assignment, in truth you were heavily traumatized, but seeing them, you just had to smile. Having a family that understood the harsh toll on the line of a trooper, now a lieutenant, it was always easier to bring your troubles to them. But, they were also military nuts so "suck it up" was also a quick go to answer from your aunt, while your father was the smoother talker.
They had met Simon, loved him, his rank, his love for you, his seriousness. They trusted him completely with your heart.
So, when he called them, after the evidence leaked...
They believed him.
"What're you talking about?" You took the handle of the chair in your grip, easing you down into it as your legs do weak at what you were hearing. "I didn't...I didn't do it, Dad."
"Do you know how humiliating and disappointing--how it felt to hear him say that to me, hm?" he says, static crackles on the reciever. "My daughter...my own flesh and blood...working with terrorists--"
"I'm not working with anyone! Are you-" you huff out a breath of disbelief. "Are you even listening to me? I've never betrayed the code. How can you think that way of me?"
For a moment, he's silent. "Alright, then," he began. "Than, what'd you do? huh?"
"What--what..."
"Oh, come on, (Y/n)!" your father yells. "What did you do?! What could they possibly have had on you that made you the most likely target? You had to have had done something, been somewhere, were with somebody you weren't supposed to be with! They didn't just get that information from anywhere."
"What the fuck--" Your expression twists with frustration and misery, running your hand through your hair, pulling at it. "I've sacrificed every part of myself for this job, for this team, what do I have to gain from throwing that all away? They send me everywhere, places you've never heard of, places you'll never hear about and people you'll never have to meet, because of me! Why would you just believe Simon? Why couldn't you just wait to talk to me?!"
Hearing your father scoff at your words was painful. "What reason do I have not to believe him? He knows you, maybe even better than any of us. Besides, he was going to be my son in law--"
"I'm your daughter! Fuck Simon, what about me? You'd believe him instead?"
He sighs. "Listen, you're upsetting Cass. We didn't expect your call. I gotta make this brief..."
"You're upset?" pulling at your hair, sucking in sharply. "I'm the one who's permanently fucking altered here. What do either of you have to be upset about?!"
"Watch your fucking mouth!" he seethes. The anger in his voice isn't new, but the way he spits it at you is. "You did this to yourself, I didn't. Maybe that's what your nightmares were about, am I right? Your guilt?"
Wiping the streaks of tears that had fallen down your face, lips quivering and chest aching with sobs you frustratedly shoved down. "Why don't you believe me?"
"I don't deserve the disgrace that will come with you as my kin, I've lived my part of this war. No daughter of mine should even be in this fucking position," your father spat, disgusted into the receiver. Suddenly, he was the cruel, bitter old man your mother had always known him to be, you wished she had stayed to at least remind you of that. Maybe it wouldn't have hurt as much. "You should be ashamed of yourself, but at least you got yourself out it. The least you could do for us."
"Well--what does that mean?" you spoke, quietly.
"Don't call again..."
"Dad, no--" you break this time, a sob escaping you.
"Me and your Aunt Cass..."
"Daddy please, don't do this--"
"..We've decided to cut ties. We're not taking any heat from this, you're on your own," he finishes, clearing his throat, waiting a moment, listening to the pleads and cries of his only daughter, his once pride. "You take care of yourself. Goodbye, kid."
"Why can't you just believe me? Why?!" you cried.
"Don't come to the house."
"No, no,--" the line goes dead. And staring down at your phone, his caller id going blank and the call disconnecting.
Your phone all of a sudden feels heavy, the device and your hand falling down to your thigh, before the phone slips out of your grip and onto the floor. You sit there silently, until your tears drop up and even after.
Staring at the photo now was haunting in its own way, it was just another painful reminder.
Using the bed frame to stand to your feet, your grip on the frame is painful as you squeeze it, the glass cracks audibly.
"Bonnie..."
Whipping around at the sound of John MacTavish's voice, you back up a few steps at the sight of him, your back hitting the edge of your desk.
He reaches out as you stumble, before his fingers curl back into his palm as you find your balance, his hands receding back to his sides. He doesn't enter the room, just lingering just beyond the doorway, his eyes flickering around the room, guiltily.
"I didn't know--we didn't know you were out," he speaks quietly, as opposed prideful personality that translated into his voice usually.
You say nothing.
In the dark, your eyes are wide and your shoulders are tensed up, he can see the glint of your leg braces, the iv pole at the side, the scar beneath your eye. You looked terrified to see him.
"We were coming back to clean up today, just got back from...from a mission..." he stutters on his words, shifting his feet.
"It's been a week."
His lips press together hearing your voice. "I know..." Johnny glances around at the room he'd let those officers destroy, it hadn't been them, but they might as well had done it. "I know...we just...didn't know it was so bad."
"Really?" your voice is mockingly sweet, drawing out the word. "You didn't know? Well look..." you hold up your family photo, the light in the hallway catching on the glass. "You missed one."
Your hand dropping, the heavy frame comes down just as fast, ramming into the ground, the glass practically exploding on impact.
Johnny flinches, the photo of your family...He looks back to you, surprised. "Bonnie..."
Snatching the next closest thing from your desk, a ceramic cup. "Oh, wow, can't believe you guys missed this one," you chuck it into the wall. It breaks on impact, the remains scatter along the flipped mattress and onto the floor. "That used to be my favorite mug by the way."
The Scotsman worriedly steps forwards, 'Lass, I'm sorry--"
"FUCK YOU!" you spat, coming into the light. You're sure you look deranged, and you didn't care. You could've wrapped your hands around his throat, killed him right on the floor and you wouldn't have blinked. "It doesn't mean anything! 'I'm sorry', 'I'm sorry', 'I'm sorry', over and over and over again! As if you shouldn't be! Your apologies mean fuck all."
"I know...I know," he breathes. "But, I've gotta say it anyway, bonnie. I should've believed you, there was no reason not to. I know that now. I just--"
"Believe me!" you cut him off with a yell. "Trust me! Fucking 'HELP ME'!" you screamed with the same fever as your days in the interrogation room, that terrible cell, the cold, the burn and pain. "I cried it all to you, to all of you, and nobody came. Nobody came for me," you breathe in sharply. "It doesn't matter what you should've done. You didn't do it!"
Johnny's eyes are red, he opens his mouth, closes it and then swallows down whatever chokes him up as he looks at you. "I should've came for you. I wish I did. I wanted to, Bonnie..." he steps forwards, and you recede back away from him, your eyes narrowed with violence. "I'll never forgive myself for not listening to you. For not coming to help you. For laying a hand on you. I'm so sorry, (Y/n). I'm sorry..."
I'll never forgive myself... "That makes two of us," you assured.
Johnny's eyes widen, before they close, his guilt ever consuming. He can't help but understand, to respect your decision, to know things can never be ok again. "(Y/n)...."
Grabbing hold of the nearest thing, a pencil cup, you hurl it at Johnny. He doesn't put his hands up, flinching as it hits him, the metal clinking against his kevlar, eyes closing then opening, he stands still. "I don't forgive. I don't accept your apology. I don't fucking care about it!" with each sentence you throw something else his way, a broken frame, the trash bin, a pillow, the CD player.
His hand has to come up for the knife you unsheathe, a memento from one of your missions, it's rusted, ancient probably. But, you hadn't given it up to a museum or to pawn, you had nearly died on this mission, saving Johnny ironically. You had to keep it.
Seeing the weapon, his defensive position is instinctive but his hands drop just as fast, he understands, you need this. You deserve this. "If you need to..." he speaks. Your eyes flicker up to him, away from the knife. "If you need to, I get it..."
And you need to. You really fucking do.
Your grip on the knife is dangerously hard, it hurts.
Looking at Johnny, he'd been your brother in more than a few ways on and off the field, he had been your comfort, your friend, your family. You had bled with him, held onto him as he carried you from the battlefield, joked, laughed, screamed and cried. You've loved him for years.
He'd had a rough few nights you could see that. He was quieter, reserved. Almost as terrified to see you, as you had been of him.
And you could kill him right now and never bat an eye.
And so, throwing that knife was so fucking easy.
Johnny's eyes close as you do just that, fists clenching and teeth biting down on his tongue to prepare for the pain.
The ancient weapon whiz's through the air, the sound is sharp and he knows it will cut through him like butter.
The thud rings in the room, and Johnny's eyes blow open wide, holding his breath as he collapses to his knees, before turning to you.
You dig into the pile of clothes that had been cast aside, a pair of sneakers and a new shirt. You don't look at him a single time as you take it all, stuffing them in a bag, and leaving the room, passing him completely, a limp in your step.
Johnny releases a pained breath, tears finally leaving him as he looks up, the knife lodged into the frame of the doorway, just barely missing him. The sleeve of his uniform ripped open.
He sits there in the quiet, destroyed room. A testimony to the relationship he's destroyed between you.
Part 4!! OUT NOW
#simon riley angst x reader#cod angst#tw torture#tw angst#simon ghost riley x reader#simon riley#ghost angst#ghost x reader#call of duty x reader#call of duty
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WARNING: DOCTOR WHO SPOILERS EXPLAINING REGENERATION SHENANIGANS
-------------------
okay so I was kind of not on board with the concept of bi-regeneration, mainly because of how it seemed like all of the Sad and the Trauma that the Doctor had undergone got kind of handwaved away? i'm all for ncuti's Doctor being sort of a fresh start/jumping on point for new viewers, but i didn't get how that could work if like, literally 40 minutes ago he was David Tennant being a sad wet puppy dog of a man
however, after rewatching it, i've realized what i think happened there, and it goes all the way back to something introduced with the 4th doctor's regeneration that was never explained: the Watcher
^this spooky guy
so, for those that don't know (or haven't seen every episode of a show that is over half a century old), the Fourth Doctor regenerates at the end of a story called Logopolis (he falls off a satellite dish, but that's not important right now). all throughout the episode, this weird figure, The Watcher, stands off in the distance, and even intervenes slightly by saving the Fourth Doctor's companion. there's not much given in the way of an explanation until the Fourth Doctor regenerates, saying "it's the end. but the moment has been prepared for..."
the watcher walks up, and gets absorbed in a super rad 1980's digital effect (never change doctor who), while his companion just gives us the not-super-helpful-for-lore statement "He was the Doctor all the time!"
then, in a crossfade, the Doctor goes from Four to weird-powder-man to Five
canonically, the Watcher is explained as a future version of the doctor that comes about in sort of a weird overlapping thing with the doctor's timeline, it's very wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey.
-------------------------
SO what does this have to do with biregeneration and satisfying character arcs/moving on from trauma?
Well, remember, Fifteen said this, about Time Lords doing rehab out of order:
so, here's the thing: Fifteen is the Doctor AFTER Fourteen (duh, I know?) But to be clear...Fourteen lives out an entire lifetime with Donna and family, gets to a ripe old age, and then, when his lifetime of healing is over, he gets yeeted back through his own timestream just to zoot himself out of David Tennant's chest.
Remember, his first words to Fourteen (after popping out of his chest) are "So good to see you! So good!", not the RTD classic "what?". He greets himself like he's almost expecting this, he then says "does anyone want to tell me what the hell is going on here?" which only makes sense if he's coming from a different point in his own timestream (remember, when two doctors interact, memory gets really weird, 10 and the War Doctor don't remember the events of Day of the Doctor until they live through them as 11).
SO TO BE CLEAR: Ncuti Gatwa is playing the Doctor AFTER he has spent years healing from his traumas. His Doctor is fine because Fourteen takes the time to rest and work on himself.
tl;dr: I didn't like biregeneration at first because I thought it looked like this:
In actuality, it looks more like this:
#doctor who#fourteenth doctor#fifteenth doctor#the giggle#dw#dw spoilers#dw 60th#tenthree#the doctor
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Iâd die for you.
Viktor:
âIâd die for you.â
âPlease donât.â He says almost pleading with you to reconsider after hearing you say such a thing, to be willing to trade off your own life for his own that was already on borrowed time, so wouldnât your sacrifice be a waste if he was bound to die regardless?
He came from the undercity where loss was an constant occurrence and survival was the norm. So the idea of loosing you wasnât one heâd warmly welcome nor want to endure as heâd only bury himself deep within his work, going to such lengths with the off chance that he could theoretically bring you back from the cold embrace of death,
âYouâve got so much ahead of you Viktor.â You countered. âSo much to do to achieve your goal of helping others!â You add.
Viktor moves to look at you from his workplace with a raised brow. âAnd so you automatically think your life is forfeit in comparison because of this?â He asks as if to show you just how ridiculous it was to just throw your life away because you believed his dreams for the future outweighed the worth of that of your own life.
You stayed quiet as you could see the disbelief clear within his amber eyes as he grabbed his cane and made his way over to you to hold your hand in his long, slender and calloused ones as they caress the back of your knuckles. âFor itâs not. No life is more important than the others solely based on what the person can give to others.â Viktor tells you as sits himself down next to you.
âOur lives are of equal value and Iâd would much rather youâd live for me instead.â He says with a small smile. âDo you think you can do that for me?â He then asks softly, intertwining your fingers together. You smiled back at him. âI can sure try as long as you do too.â You replied and Viktor let out a sigh of relief, squeezing your hand in thanks.
âThen we shall live for each other.â Viktor said but little did you know that heâd be lying and he wasnât going to be staying very soon.
Ekko:
âIâd gladly die for you.â
âNo, you wont.â Those words mightâve come out more harsher than Ekko wanted but he wasnât about to let you joke about trading your life for his own. He just wouldnât.
Even now the idea of you being the self sacrificial hero made him feel slightly sick to his stomach. He was the one who should be protecting you, protecting everybody really and once his mind was made up Ekko was more or less an immovable object, never yielding and never budging from his ideals for nothing.
So to say he wasnât liking the idea of you dying on him was an understatement. He didnât like it for a plethora of reasons as heâs already lost enough people close to his heart, he wasnât willing to have you be amongst them, painted on the mural by his own hand as he feels the guilt and grief eat away at his heart. âPromise me you wonât be reckless the next time weâre out on a mission.â He gives you his pinky, something you two did when you were being serious about things.
âEkko-â
âPromise me you wonât.â Ekko cuts you off in desperation, his eyes wide and his breathing becoming rapid and uneven the longer you didnât immediately link pinkies with him like you usually did, it had him feeling as though his heart had dropped to his stomach. âI donât want to loose another person I love.â He adds and you interlock your pinkies with him before being pulled into his strong embrace where he buried his face into yours neck, not wanting to let go of you after hearing that statement leave your mouth.
âIâm not ready to say goodbye to you just yet.â He whispered into your neck, grip tightening on you as he feels you rub his back soothingly. Ekko wasnât ready for the day heâd have to say goodbye to you and so until that day heâll keep protecting you until he couldnât anymore, for heâd rather see you move on forward without him, but if he knew you as well as he did then you would just be equally as stubborn to see him live another day.
So heâll just keep ahold of you like this everyday when you were alone just to remind himself that you were still here and here you will stay.
Silco (young) :
âIâd die for you.â
âDonât say such things, havenât we suffered enough?â Heâd say as he has you by your shoulders, his grip tightening in tandem with the idea of possibly loosing you to all sorts of things, whether itâd be Zaun or the corrupt enforcers from topside. Silco wasnât exactly willing to lose the greatest thing that had ever happened to him.
It was a day heâd never wish to see pass him by as he didnât know what he would do should he find you dead in the rubble from a something that was purposely intended for him, heâd blame himself and be left to seek solitude in the darkness and shadows should that ever be the case.
âBut itâs true.â Youâd reply.
Silco grits his teeth at your stubbornness but it was one of your defining traits that he deeply adored. âWell Iâm not going to allow it.â He retorted. âI wonât allow you to hastily throw your life away just because you felt like being a hero.â He practically spat out the last part as though it were poison. Hero what the hell has being a hero ever done for anyone? Nothing thatâs what and Silco would refused you at every time you got like this, not once liking the implications it left within his head.
âNot a hero, just someone who cares enough about another person to be willing to see them keep living, even if it means dying in the process.â You defended yourself, crossing your arms over your chest as you continued to look him in the eyes to prove your words true, but you didnât need to do that for Silco knew well enough you were a person of your word, never once going back on it when you probably shouldâve.
âHeroes donât exist in Zaun.â Silco said as he rests his head against yours, looking you in the eyes. âSo donât try and be the first for I donât want to be the one to make your mural. Donât make me have to leave you behind. Donât make me mourn for what we couldâve had.â He pleads with you as you gently hold his face and caress his cheeks, allowing him the chance to rest his eyes and drink you in through your touch.
He didnât like the idea of you dying before him, not one bit, so heâll try and make sure that you survive together long enough to see the betterment of Zaun.
#arcane#arcane x y/n#arcane x you#arcane imagines#arcane imagine#arcane x reader#viktor x you#viktor imagines#viktor fluff#viktor imagine#viktor x reader#viktor arcane#ekko imagines#ekko imagine#ekko x reader#ekko x you#ekko x y/n#silco x you#silco x y/n#silco imagine#silco imagines#young silco x reader#young silco imagines
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We will no longer be purchasing the feed corn for our heating pads from Tractor Supply Company.
We have purchased all of the corn that fills our heating pads from TSC since 2017, but given this... uh... statement... we will no longer be doing business with TSC in any way. The idea that "rural values" preclude the existence of our embracing of minorities and queer people is profoundly ridiculous.
Our company's rural roots are strong: Jake & Spider grew up in NE PA's coal country on a dirt road & in a house heated by a wood stove. We are the descendants of immigrant coal miners and farmers. Our great-great-grandfather put up a swing in the middle of the single room of their Northwest Territories home because it was too cold for our great-grandmother to go outside to play. Our grandfather was a breaker boy. Our cousins still raise corn and pigs in Iowa. And that's just Spider and Jake!
Painting "diversity" as alien to rural values is not only incorrect, it's insulting to everyone who lives in a rural area who isn't white, cishet and Christian - and there are an awful lot of us. This is, of course, the point. They've decided that it's fashionable to turn away from us, to make clear No Queers Allowed, and so it's only right that we return the favor.
Please bear with us as we shift suppliers. If you have an outstanding heating pad order with us, it may be slightly delayed.
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Eddie Munson x Best Friend!Reader
Summary: You never meant for Eddie to know that you had a crush on him. What happened when he found out, courtesy of Mike Wheeler's big mouth?
WC: 2.6k
Warnings: smut (18+ only, minors DNI), angst to fluff to smut and then back to fluff?? I don't even know, idiots in love, p in v, semi-public sex (we get it on in the van, baby)
Part of @cherrycolored-punk's Softember event!
Divider credit to @saradika
Friday, May 16, 1986: the day you determined that Mike Wheeler was the worst.Â
You tried to give him the benefit of the doubt. After all, it couldnât be easy growing up in Nancyâs perfect shadow. Just the time you spent working with her on the school newspaper was exhausting.Â
That was where you were currently sprinting from, weaving through the empty hallways towards the drama room. Leave it to Nancy to schedule an emergency newspaper meeting on a Friday afternoon.Â
âSorry, sorry, sorry.â You kept your head down as you breezed into the Hellfire meeting. Even without looking, you could feel the guys glaring at you. The only thing less forgivable than missing a campaign was interrupting one.Â
Gareth let out a huff, crossing his arms over his chest. âNice of you to join us, Lady Atwood.â He shifted forward in his seat. âYouâre in luck todayâour fearless Dungeon Master has yet to grace us with his presence.â
You wrinkled your nose, only then noticing that Eddieâs throne remained empty. âWhere is he?â
From his spot at the table, Mike Wheeler scoffed. âSurprised you donât know, considering youâre basically in love with him.â
You were about to refute his statement, or at least give him a well-deserved middle finger, when you heard a clattering behind you.Â
Like metal hitting the floor tiles.
No. No, no no noâŚ
âS-Sorry.â Eddie stammered. He quickly scooped up the tin lunch box that doubled as a place to stash his weed. âI had a last-minute deal. Apparently thereâs a party at McKinneyâs house tonight and he needed some, uh, provisions. So, uh, yeah.â He cleared his throat, eyes darting around the room and looking at everyone except for you. âWe can get started.â
There might as well have been a spotlight beaming down, accentuating the embarrassment written all over your face. Everyone in Hellfire knew about your crush on Eddie, but they had the decency to keep it a secret.Â
Everyone except for Mike Wheeler, apparently. God, you wanted to squish that little shit like a bug beneath your shoe.
It certainly didnât help that Eddie kept glancing at you, even when he addressed the group. Like he was waiting for you to say something about Mikeâs comment. Waiting for you to refute it, to roll your eyes and whip out a snappy comeback. Maybe he was even hoping you would.
He was probably internally cringing just thinking about you having romantic feelings for him.
âLady Atwood?â
Your gaze instinctively snapped over to Eddie when he said your name. He was looking at you, brown eyes wide with anticipation of your response.Â
Warmth crept up your neck. He had heard what Mike said about you being in love with himâhe had to have. Heâd just had the good grace to brush over it becauseâŚ
Because he didnât feel the same way and didnât want to cause you any further humiliation.
âY-Yeah?â You choked on the word, trying to put the incident behind you. But you couldnât, because the pain of unrequited feelings kept yanking on your heart, drawing tears that you desperately wished would evaporate.
âGareth the Great has proposed battling the demogorgon.â There was a hint of a smirk on Eddieâs lips. It was your first clue that the move would prove entertaining, perhaps at your characterâs demise. âWeâre waiting for your input.â
Nodding, you chewed the inside of your cheek and studied the board. Okay, it looked like winning the battle was feasible, though a bit risky. The rest of the club watched as you contemplated; Gareth especially was practically vibrating with anticipation.
Then the ceiling started leaking. Soft drops with no particular rhythm, landing on your cheeks. Just your luckâfirst Mikeâs big mouth spilled your secret, then whatever nastiness was living in Hawkins High Schoolâs pipes was now seeping into your skin.
âHoly shit, is she crying?â
Dustin Hendersonâs voice broke into your thoughts. His tone, for possibly the first time since youâd met him, held only concern with a note of snark.
Who was crying? You were the only girl in the club now that Ronnie had graduated, save for the times Erica Sinclair served as a substitute. Which meantâŚ
âWay to go, asshole.â Lucas thwacked Mike across the chest.Â
âI didnât know he was there!â
The purple fabric of your shirt darkened beneath your arms as another disconcerting flash of heat hit you. You wanted to crawl into a hole and die. Maybe youâd get lucky and the floor would open beneath you and swallow you up.Â
âI need to get some air.â Whether you spoke the words aloud or said them silently to yourself, you werenât sure.Â
Your feet seemed to carry you out of the room and through the schoolâs front doors. Tears blurred your vision, and you swiped them away before any other lingering students could see.Â
The air was warm, teasing of the approaching summer. God, summerâyou always spent it with Eddie, lounging by the public pool or sitting down at Lovers Lake. Youâd read a book while he pored over his Hellfire notebook, scribbling notes for future campaign ideas.Â
Would he still want to do that, to spend those long days with you, now that he knew about your pathetic crush?Â
It wasnât until you reached the parking lot that you remembered: Eddie drove you to school that morning. If you started walking now, youâd definitely get home before dark. Or maybe you could call your parents from the payphone if you managed to scrounge up the changeâ
The sound of your name stopped you in your tracks. You shouldâve kept walking the moment you saw Eddie, his frizzy curls bouncing as he jogged over to you.Â
âHey.â His hand brushed yours, though you pulled away before he could grab ahold of it. âWhere are you going?â
âHome.â
He sighed. âOkay, let me rephrase that: Why did you leave? Because of what Wheeler said?â Eddie let out a small, disbelieving laugh when you nodded. âHeâs such a little shit. Always messing with me. Iâm gonna kick his sorry ass one of these days.â
Your eyebrows shot up. Messing with Eddie? âWhat are you talking about?â
âThat joke about you being in love with me. He obviously saw me in the doorway and said it to embarrass me.â A blush crept onto Eddieâs cheeks. âYâknow, âcauseâŚâ
But you didnât know. You had no idea what he meant. And as much as Mike was a menace, he seemed sincere when he said he didnât realize that Eddie was there.Â
âBecause why?â
âBecause,â Eddieâs gaze shifted to his vanâs tires before he finally looked at you again. âBecause he knows I have this dumb crush on you, and he thinks itâs hilarious to fuck with me about it.â
Words evaded you. This had to be some sort of elaborate set-up. Eddie had a crush on you? When girls like Chrissy Cunningham and Heather Holloway lived in the very same town?Â
Impossible.Â
Not privy to the argument playing out inside your headâthank GodâEddie babbled on. âI know itâs weird. Thatâs why I havenât told youâwell, until right now. And Iâm starting to regret it, because youâre looking at me like I have three heads. So maybe Iâll just shut up now.â
âNo.â Summoning all of your courage, you took his hand in yours and managed a smile. âEddie, Mike was teasing me because I like you. More than a friend should like a friend.â
Eddieâs tongue darted out to wet his lips. âWhat if I told youâŚI donât want to just be friends?â
You let your eyes meet his. âI-I donât want to just be friends, either.â
He took a pause before he asked his next question. Your heartbeat thrummed in your ears as you waited for him to speak.
âAnd what if I did this?â One palm, callused from years of guitar playing, cupped your cheek. Eddie moved closer, his nose bumping against yours in a clumsy attempt to close the gap between you. âShit, thatâthat was supposed to be suave.â
âShut up and kiss me, Munson.â The words left your mouth before you could think them through. Your fingers tangled into his hair, pulling him back towards you and finishing what he had started.
His lips, soft and tasting vaguely of the cigarettes heâd smoked after school, crashed into yours. One hand snaked around your waist and pressed you against him until you felt his metal belt buckle through your shirt.
You moaned softly, letting his tongue into your mouth without hesitation. More, more, moreâŚyou needed more. You needed all of him.Â
It was Eddie who broke the kiss, much to your chagrin. But what he said next made up for the loss.
âSorryâŚIâm trying to be a gentleman. But itâs, uh, getting a little hard.â He chuckled, stealing another quick kiss. âPun very much intended.â
A quick glance proved that Eddie wasnât lying: His erection tantalizingly strained against his fly. What you wouldnât give to feel him inside youâŚ
âYâknow, take you on a date, tell you how pretty you look,â Eddie continued, shifting his stance in a pitiful attempt to quell his desire. âI donât wanna go at it in the school parking lot like some feral rabbits.â He waved his hand haphazardly.Â
You bit your lip, weighing your options. A date would be nice; perhaps a night at The Hawk, his arm around you as a movie played on a giant screen. Or maybe heâd take you to dinnerânothing as expensive as Enzoâs, but somewhere more romantic than your usual Bennyâs hangout.Â
A date with Eddie was something youâd only ever dreamed of. But right now, you needed to live out a different fantasy before you combusted from an overload of lust.Â
âRemember the first campaign you created this year?â Your soft voice held a sultry air despite your nerves. âIt was your most sadistic one yet. We were all ready to forfeit, but you took pity on us and gave us a hint.â
Taking a deep breath, you plunged your hand into his front pocket. âDo you remember what you said?â
Eddie shook his head. âI canât remember my own goddamn name right now, Sweetheart.â
You laughed, your finger hooking around his keyring. âYou said that sometimes, itâs better to work backwards.â
With a triumphant grin, you plucked the keys from his pocket.Â
âYouâre gonna be the death of me.â His own smile betrayed his exasperated exterior as he grabbed your hand. His van seemed a million miles away, though it was parked in one of the closest spots in the lot.Â
Eddie yanked open the back door, waiting just long enough for you to get settled before he scrambled in behind you. The moment the door closed, he pulled you on top of him.Â
You could feel him, feel his hardness, against your core. You rolled your hips instinctively, savoring the friction.Â
Hands clamped down on your denim-covered thighs. âYou gottaâŚyou canâtâŚâ Eddie choked, struggling for words. âWeâre already about to do it in my van. I donât wanna look even more pathetic by coming in my pants.â
Warmth blossomed in your body. You could imagine him sputtering out a stream of swear words as he came, flooding his own boxers with his release.Â
Maybe another day.Â
Buttons were undone, flies were unzipped, clothes were discarded into a pile in the corner of the van. It was only you and Eddie, not a single scrap of fabric between you.Â
Sweat glistened on his chest, matting down the sparse hairs that curled around his nipples. You leaned in, kissing just above the demon head tattoo etched on his pec.Â
âBaby,â he crooned. The new pet name wasnât lost on you. Your heart beat faster, a butterfly frantically flapping its wings. âBaby, I need you.â
He did need you, unless he was going to take care of his achingly hard cock by himself. The pink tip leaked with pre-cum, and if you had more room, you would have licked it clean off.Â
You settled for swiping it away with your thumb, his abdomen tightening at the sudden contact. Eddie nearly passed out on the spot when you sucked on your finger, savoring the salty taste.
âBaby,â he groaned again. âI w-wanted to get you off first, âcause I know Iâm not gonna last like this.â
âSâokay.â You lined him up with your entrance, ignoring the way your hands shook as you slowly sank down onto him. His hips bucked up almost of their own accord. âF-Fuck, EddieâŚâ
Eddie looked up at you, brown irises wide. He paused for an extra moment; maybe he really had forgotten his own name. âI know, I know,â he said finally. âGod, I fucking know, baby.âÂ
His thumb found your clit the second he composed himself, rubbing delicate circles until your toes curled. His other hand held you with just enough force to keep you stable while still being able to ride him.
âYouâre so beautiful.â He let out a breathless laugh. âIf I wake up and this was all a dream, Iâm gonna be pissed.â
You shared the same thought. What if the Eddie laying before you, curls splayed against the worn carpet of his van, groaning your nameâyour nameâwas all a mirage? Another fantasy conjured up by your lovesick brain?
âIâve never had a dream this good before.â
âMe either,â he admitted, âbut the only ones thatâve come close involve you.â
You tightened around him, your hands flush against his chest. The fact that you occupied his thoughts, unconscious or otherwise, sent a wave of arousal rolling through you. You wanted to hear every last detail of those dreams, to know exactly what turned him on.
Maybe later. Right now, your focus stayed on the way he touched you. So intentional, so precise. And Eddie worked you through your orgasm, keeping his same rhythm as you came around him.
âThere you go, pretty girl. Thatâs it,â he murmured. ââM close. Where do youâwhere can Iââ
âInside.â Youâd never been more grateful to be on the pill.Â
Eddie let himself go, unleashing a torrent of desire. He thrust into you, chasing his own release now that he knew youâd gotten yours.
It was only when he slowed his pace, milking the last drops of cum from his cock, that reality began to settle in.
You just had sex with your best friend in the back of his van, a few hundred feet away from where your friends were gathered around a DnD boardâ
âOh my God, Eddie!â Your eyes snapped open in realization. âHellfireâtheyâre still there.â
Eddie pulled you closer and kissed your forehead. You relaxed into his chest. âTheyâre smart guys when theyâre not being idiots.â The words vibrated against your skin. âIâm sure they figured out that we werenât coming back.â
He sighed, wrapping one arm around you. âCan I take you on that date now, baby? Yâknow, once we get dressed.â He smirked. âWe can go to Scoops Ahoy and split a sundae. And then, if you want, Iâll take you back to my place and undress you again?â
You scrambled for your clothes almost as quickly as youâd shed them, Eddie following suit. And as much as you wanted to have sex with him again, to really take your time and cherish each second, you were equally excited to cuddle up in a booth and share some ice cream.
Friday, May 16, 1986: the day Mike Wheelerâs lack of filter didnât completely backfire. Because it was also the day that you and Eddie Munson became boyfriend and girlfriend.
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