#because that's... that's genuinely extremely awful and we don't spend a lot of time on it but i think it really does provide an insight

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

big question. i'm cis (afab) and my gf is trans (amab) and i'm sorta having a hard time reconciling something. i've been a hard line feminist since i was about 8, by 12 i was a practical library on everything and anything womens lib. i'm spending a lot more time around trans people especially my gf now and i'm sorta struggling to reconcile the trans experience with my feminism. like- i'll see trans women being like "i hate my body :(" "my voice is awful" "i need [x thing to try to pass] ugh" and like my first thought is always "NO! THATS HOW THEY FUCKING GET YOU!!! THE PATRIARCHY WANTS YOU TO HATE YOURSELF SO YOU ENSLAVE YOURSELF TO CAPITALISM AND LIVE IN A CONSTANT STATE OF NEED FOR NEW PRODUCTS TO WARD OFF THE EVER PRESENT SELF HATRED BROUGHT ON YOU BY SOCIETY" and they go "well then how do i pass/transition?" and i honestly don't know and i also don't know how far it goes before its no longer dysphoria but instead the intentional subjugation of women by patriarchy for profit. i wanna help my fellow ladies but i honestly don't know how to like- apply the feminism i was taught as a child to trans women and i want to learn as soon as possible so that i can start doing it like yesterday

hi there,

I'll be honest: if it feels hard to apply the feminism you learned as a kid to your trans friends, that's probably because the feminism you were taught didn't have trans woman in mind.

luckily, the answer to this is something that I consider to be feminism 101: what a woman does with her body is, ultimately, her fucking business.

listen: I agree with you that the beauty industry(TM) is evil. it's misogynistic, it's exploitative, it thrives by making women feel bad enough about themselves to make them spend money on shit they don't need, etc. we all know this.

now, having said that: women who like makeup or wear heels or get laser hair removal or whatever other asinine thing are not my oppressor, nor are they my enemy. dare I say, we have bigger problems.

we also need to consider that many trans women are coming to these choices from a VERY different place than many cis women are. while I think my fellow cis women really benefit from reminders that they're allowed to stop shaving or wearing eyeliner or dieting or whatever, that's because most of us have had those actions forced on us from very young ages and may genuinely need a hand to feel secure breaking out of those behaviors.

the majority of trans women are not coming from a background where they were encouraged to partake in the same personal grooming habits and modes of presentation as cis women; many of them have, in fact, been ostracized, bullied, threatened, and otherwise hurt because of forays into forms of presentation that are considered feminine. no matter how good your intentions may be, approaching your advice indelicately can, unfortunately, make you come across as no different than any transphobe on the street trying to enforce cisnormative societal expectations. it also must be said that, for many trans women, the ability to "pass" is a matter of security - for having their status as women recognized at all, and to avoid harassment and abuse in public spaces. if you live in America, like I do, politicians in power currently have an extremely explicit anti-trans agenda that can make it harrowing to be visible as a trans person, and trans women in particular are frequently targeted for violence.

there are absolutely critiques to be made the way the many trans women are expected to perform hyperfemininity. the notion that someone is duty bound to drastically change their appearance in order to transition at all is itself extremely rooted in cisnormativity, and "passing" is often contingent on being young, thin, able-bodied, reasonably wealthy, and hewing as closely to Eurocentric standards of beauty as possible. that's not awesome! but that's also not the fault of any individual; no trans person asked to be born into a world where gender norms are so narrow and failing to pass can come with a very real risk of physical danger.

also, if I can circle back to this: again, women who participate in aspects of the beauty industry are not our enemies. there are always going to be some number of women who enjoy doing their makeup or like spending time fussing over their little outfits or want breast implants or whatever. some of those women are going to be trans. my official feminist stance on this is that I don't give a shit, because I believe in bodily autonomy even when it involves things I would not do personally and the choices that individual women make about how they want to style their little meat body don't even crack the top 100 things that I'm worried about right now. it's actually kind of vitally important, politically, that trans people be able to safely pursue their preferred gender expression; while it's not particularly revolutionary for a cis woman to go outside all dolled up, whether a trans woman can do that safely is a pretty basic litmus test for how safe a given space is for queer people. it's a ridiculously low bar, and many places will still fail to clear it.

so, yeah, I don't know, dude. be there to talk to your trans girlies if they want to start unpacking some of the pressure they feel to conform to a very rigid idea of womanhood, but whether or not they can walk down the street in your neighborhood safely is a WAY bigger issue than whether they decide to do voice training or not.

if you really want to cut to the root of the insecurity and vulnerability that the beauty industry thrives on exploiting, your time is much better spent working to ensure the trans women in your life feel safe and supported and have a community where they can find support regardless of how they look.

necessary disclaimer I'm a cis girl, any transfemme folks please share your voice here and feel free to clap my ass if I've said something out of line.

[showsandstuff]

Ways to make a Dale Dimmadome redemption work:

Hi! So, as a self proclaimed Dale Dimmadome redemption truther, I wanted to make this post explaining why a redemption is, in my opinion, very much possible. (I am not nearly as confident about this as I am pretending to be)

Buckle up, this'll be a long one folks!

First, why do I think a Dale redemption could happen? Let's go through it:

It's still a kids show. I find the conclusion to the story that Dale will never love his son a bit grim for a show for children. You could of course make it work by using the found family trope with Peri instead, plus there are plenty of kids shows that have used the evil father of secondary character/antagonist trope, without the father getting a redemption but I do think a Dale redemption is the most satisfying conclusion for this show.

Even Remy Buxaplentys parents started caring for Remy at some point, so I got hope. Though to be fair, they were incredibly one note.

His past with Vicky makes him a bit more sympathetic. Knowing what he went through in his childhood, it makes sense he probably wouldn't know what a child needs. I'm just saying it means there's room for improvement

He emotionally neglects Dev, but his physical needs are met. Which is something, right? Like Yay... And all...

We don't know if Dale doesn't love Dev. I think there's a possibility that he does care but just doesn't know it because he's taken his child for granted. That's not an excuse of course, but it would make a redemption more plausibel. If Dale genuinely does not love Dev whatsoever, I'll give up on my redemption hope.

How could they pull it off, if at all?

Assuming that Dale does love Dev, deep deeeep down, and just doesn't realize it because he's so focused on his company, the best way to show this is through a choice.

Dev doing things that benefit the company has never helped their relationship, Dale just gets happy because Money and it doesn't make him appreciate his son more, Dev just becomes someone useful to him.

But if Dev causes Dale to lose money, that's a good start to see what Dale truly prioritizes deep down.

Dale choosing Dev over his company is what I need if they decide to redeem him. I need Dale in one way or another show us that he truly cares. Maybe have Dale spend so much money to find and save Dev, that his company goes bankrott? Or have his company explodes and Dale's main concern could be Devs wellbeing. Or Dev goes behind his father's back and intentionally hurts the company, but instead of lashing out at Dev, Dale reflects on himself.

Now... That's all incredibly out of character for Dale and I would hate for an unearned redemption. I'd need there to be a lot of build up to that moment, some foreshadowing that hints at Dale not feeling entirely indifferent about Dev. Small moments, nothing too grand. Maybe he'd be worried if he finds out that he had left Dev with Vicky at one Point, and that could be the catalyst to show us that he isn't as awful as we were shown previously.

And after we had enough of those moments and already have a feel that Dale isn't all uncaring, we get to the grand moment where Dale shows us through his actions that in truth, he cares far more about his kid than his cash. It would feel earned and not be out of nowhere then.

Now before yall call me delusional, I know that this is extremely unrealistic and I'm just setting myself up if these are my expectations. Good thing they aren't. I do expect Dev to have something equivalent of his father's love at the end of the show, but that's it.

Here are some examples of what I actually believe would happen:

Hazel and Dev become friends (again) but this time their friendship is explored more. Maybe Dev also befriends Hazel's friends and finds fulfillment through that. (although I think that'll happen regardless and would be unsatisfying if that was all we got)

Involving Peri in this mess and giving him a character arc of his own would work as well. He realizes that Dev doesn't need a Fairy to be happy because, as Cosmo said in the finale, what Dev truly wants isn't something he can get through wishes. Dev, being super rich, is already used to getting "stuff", but love isn't stuff. So Peri basically becoming a parental figure for Dev, which is what he is supposed to be as a godparent anyway, could work. Besides, Peri already solidified himself in this role in the finale when he told Dev that he cared about him. It was a heartwarming moment. We all loved it so ofc we would want more of that.

Anything involving Irep, another Fairy or even Timmy. Dev needs someone that cares for him. My top three go to characters are obviously Peri, Hazel and Dale, but they're not the only ones that could fulfill that role. We just need to wait and see what the writers do.

So yea, a Dale redemption is my first pick for a season 2 finale (or technically my first pick is a hint at a Dale redemption in the s2 finale and the actual redemption happens way later because slow burn) but I do understand that it's pretty unlikely and would be very much satisfied with Peri becoming his godparent with Emphasis on parent, or even the power of friendship with Hazel, though that'd be harder to execute without it feeling cheap (I got faith in the writers)

So this was very long. And I am going to sleep now. Thanks for reading.

[bababerries]

Jack is a lot of things but tbh I don’t really get why people call him a stalker and I do take issue with insinuating he was abusive to Lacie in their relationship (when she was alive that is. His behavior towards her daughters, her best friend/doll and all the things she loved post her demise was extremely awful)

Jack’s behaviour towards Lacie is never normal or healthy and is definitely creepy. But I don’t see how he’s abusive or a stalker. If anything id say one of the issues in their relationship was Jack was too much of a pushover who had such little respect for himself that he never had the will to truly fight for a bond that they both cherished because he just couldn’t see anything beyond. I can’t help but feel like labeling him as abusive in this stage of their relationship a bit cruel towards him and unsympathetic. And I love Lacie to the moon and back but I’ll be honest I do think she was abusive to Jack in this relationship. (I am in no way trying to demonize her for this that’s my babygirl and she’s been through a lot. But I think Jack’s feelings also matter here)

I don't think we talk a lot about how Lacie sexually assaulted Jack (COCSA) in their first interaction with one another. And then later goes onto encourage him to do sex work. And Jack listens.She purposely choose to talk to him as he was someone in a vulnerable position. (Homeless and abused) so that she could play with him. She gives him her earing and tells him to come and find her Do I think Lacie was serious when she was saying this? No. I don't think Lacie genuinely made plans to see Jack again. She was just simply fouling around. This encounter meant very different things for both of them. And for Jack it flipped his whole world on his head. He was shown love for the first time in his life and was encouraged to chase after it by that person so he did. While the efforts he goes to get her is concerning I feel like calling this stalker behavior gives a much different impression and also feels a bit unempathetic to me? And is also just incorrect. Jack spends 7 years trying to find Lacie under the impression that she to wanted this shown physically with the earring. Not 7 years watching her from afar. I think it's also worth noting Jack processed Lacie's love as maternal to an extent. She did things for him a mother should do for a child (give him food, cut his hair, give him life advice and orders, protect him from bad guys, hugs) I don't wanna go super in depth bc i'd love to make a whole analysis on Jack's feelings for Lacie but Lacie even makes this comparison herself

(And once again I wanna preface with I don't think Lacie owes Jack motherhood. In fact i'm very uncomfortable with viewing motherhood in a positive lens in regards to Lacie's arc as it felt like it was always something forced upon her to further abuse and mystify her. )

And the second time. Lacie once again is the one to ask Jack to see her again. (This time however out of genuine desire.) She makes the first move and suggest this of him

I think it's fair to say Jack would probably want to try to see her again after this as an alternative response to "What are you going to do now Jack?" But I feel like it's a bit up in the air/up to interpretation. Of course I 100% think he wants to see Lacie. But he to is scared of overstepping boundaries to an extent that damages their relationship. He doesn't answer his question to her saying "I want to see you again" "I'm going to see you again" "Can I see you again" It's "I don't know." Which I think you can also take as now that Jack has completed the only life goal he's made for himself he doesn't know what to do with himself. He could be hiding his want and desires to surprise her and see her but he has no reason to do that here. Levi also giving him the paper in this scene suggests Jack lacks the knowledge to come back on his own. Point is Lacie made the first move here and asked him to come back once again she's the one pushing things.

Lacie has power over Jack. She's the on with power over him because he was vulnerable towards her. I don't mean to demonize Lacie with this post and perhaps I focused too much of her flaws in the relationship but the main point I wanna make is I do feel like people are too hard on Jack in regards to how he acted in their relationship when she was alive. Unfairly antagonizing him when he's the bigger victim in this relationship.

[yourlocalartsonist]

✨Obsessing Over Unrequited Love✨

Let's talk about it, shall we~?

So, I was recently listening to From The Start by Laufey to get some inspo on Jaiden Reeves (one of my characters in MFIP) and I kinda noticed how... low-key creepy the lyrics are🦐

I mean it's fitting for my character which is why I used it✨✨ But I don't really see people talk about how this song and our culture's obsession over unrequited love is really creepy and unhealthy. I'm not saying it doesn't suck dick and balls to experience unrequited love; rejection always hurts and it's a fully healthy thing to talk about it, and represent these feelings in media. What I am saying is that this shouldn't be how we're doing it, or at least make it clear this isn't a healthy response. I wanna explore that today.

Let's take a minute to do some perspective taking!

Imagine you and one of your bestest, closest, dearest friends. One that you have no romantic interest in, but a very fulfilling platonic relationship with. One day, you start dating someone, and are really happy and excited about it. Maybe it's a person you've had a crush on for a while and never imagined you two would actually be dating! Anyways, you're giddy as hell and wanna share this news with your best friend since you two share everything together, both happy and sad moments.

And then for some reason, in the middle of you rambling about your partner in such a happy and sweet way, your friend gets bitter and mean. They becomes snappy, rude, and maybe even starts shit-talking your partner, implying that you're too good for them. Your partner isn't a horrible person by any means and your best friend is the only one who's had anything bad to say about them, which leaves you extremely confused.

The days go on and they only get worse. Your relationship with your partner is going great, but your friendship is declining. It's only that one friend, all your other friends get along great with your partner and are happy for you.

It only starts making sense when, seemingly out of the blue, your best friend confesses they have feelings for you and have had daydreams and delusions that you'll realize they're the one and leave your partner for them. They express hurt over how you've given them so many hints spending all your days together only to break their heart in the end by dating someone else. They believe you two are truly meant to be and are so in love with you, they NEED to be with you.

And you are utterly shocked, disappointed, and creeped out.

You never intended to be more than friends. You spent time with them because you loved being together. All the "hints" they talked about were just sweet things you did to see them smile. All of that was done out of genuine love, but not the romantic kind. It was platonic love because you value your friends just as much as you value your partner.

All of what I described here is basically the other side to the story From The Start tells.

It's sad and tragic to hear the unrequited love story and see one person pining for someone that will never love them back. BUT it's creepy and disheartening to see the other side of the story where you start to realize your entire friendship was built on false hopes and delusions you never consented to.

I've gone through this scenario a lot even without the dating part; I've just had so many guys I thought were friends confess their love to me and get surprised when I POLITELY tell them I'm not interested in relationships. It's a horrible situation to go through. What's worse is when sometimes the obsession doesn't stop after you already tell them you don't have feelings for them 'cause they believe they can change your mind.

It feels awful being creeped on and having your autonomy disrespected that way, as if you made the wrong choice by being happy alone or with someone else. To me, it reflects them only wanting my happiness as long as it's with them. It's very selfish and entitled.

If you find yourself in a situation where you have unrequited feelings for someone else, this post wasn't to make you feel bad or demonize you!

It especially wasn't to invalidate the pain you're going through because of the rejection. All I'm trying to do is encourage you to think about the other perspective, too! Remember that your crush is still a human being with their own emotions, choices, and preference. They're not rejecting you to hurt you or because there's something wrong with you, they're rejecting you so they don't enter a loveless relationship with you which would only harm you both.

The healthy response to unrequited love (in my opinion, I am no mental health professional) would be to process those emotions, mourn them, and take the necessary steps to move on. Sometimes you can do so while still being friends, sometimes you might need some distance, and sometimes you might have to cut them off entirely. Whatever you need to live a healthy life, do so and communicate that with them. Please don't obsess over it or delude yourself into thinking you can change their mind. Respect them as a human being, and respect yourself enough to not be desperate for someone that doesn't want you that way. These situations happen in life all the time, and they pass just like any other!

But yeah, final thoughts:

I guess I just wanted to talk about it 'cause I don't see this being talked about much. I can only hope Western media will grow and change to reflect healthier options. Love triangles, cheating scandals, and obsession over unrequited love aren't things that should be shown as a healthy or positive thing in my opinion. They only hurt everyone involved and leads to a much messier situation than if everyone was honest about their feelings and moved on to whatever's better for them. I also wanna quickly say there is nothing wrong with consuming this content, as long as you remind yourself what's toxic behavior and what's not. I’m still gonna listen to From The Start and enjoy it, while still acknowledging and remembering the lyrics are a bit creepy to me and use it to my advantage for my own stories and characters. Point is, consume whatever you want with your brain turned on!

Thank y'all for joining me on this random ass tangent. In the meantime of Hollywood not listening to my prayers to stop promoting unhealthy bullshit, I'm gonna keep writing my Rise fic to promote healthy relationships myself! Enjoy your day folks~!

Taggies for funsies~

@yosajaeofficial @chaoticspeedrun @ramblehour @goldanrabbit @randomcerealbrand @m1sf0rtun3 @ackalice @zee-rambles @jellyfishheartsss @foundthethief

[twilight-good-yall-dumb]

I have genuinely seen some of the most horrific takes on Liam Payne's death, and even though I don't often get controversial on this website, I'm about to.

First of all, labeling Liam Payne as nothing but some shitty abuser is such an obtuse observation. Obviously, I understand that the power of the internet has had a large part in this. People listen to whatever other people say without second thought or further research. So sure, if you hear from more than one person that Liam was this awful abuser, most people just take that on faith.

The problem is that it's so much more complicated than that. Firstly, a lot of the current information we have about Liam and his ex-fiancé is alleged. Not to say that it isn't true or that I don't believe her. That isn't the message I'm trying to get across at all, but still, it is alleged information, and it's coming only from her. Secondly, a ton of people have been massively misled because Maya released a FICTIONAL book that is supposedly "inspired" in part by her relationship with Liam, and people are taking instances from the FICTIONAL book and assuming they are true to life. Which is...unintelligent to say the least. Secondly, I've seen one account of a fan claiming she was "manipulated" into sending nude photos to Liam, but this fan was literally 25 years old. And according to her, there was no blackmail, threats, or serious pressure involved. We're not talking about naive 18 year old girls like I've seen people claim. And again, I've only been able to find this one account. This was not some kind of trend with him.

Again, my intention is not to blame any of these women or claim that they're lying. It is only to reiterate that other people have been exaggerating the evidence we actually have.

Secondly, the only thing Maya has outright claimed about Liam was his obsessive contact during and after the end of their relationship. She ordered a cease and desist to keep him from further contacting her and to try and put an end to the emotional abuse she had faced. This included him threatening suicide, obsessively apologizing, etc. Which to be entirely truthful, is manipulative and unacceptable behavior. That being said, it is also the behavior of, and a clear symptom of, his poor mental health and substance abuse issues.

Seeing people straight up say that they don't care that he died because the world is "better off without an abuser" or that women shouldn't mourn him because it's somehow anti-feminist to care about a man who has harmed a woman in any way is...such a crazy fucking take. Like I genuinely hope these people never come across somebody in their lives who is dealing with trauma, addiction, or mental health struggles, because holy shit that lack of compassion is crazy. Like, yes, he was not a great guy to Maya. He has literally admitted that in interviews before, admitted that because of his addiction and mental health issues that he has hurt people he loved. This is not behavior in any man that should be excused, but it is behavior that, in my opinion, can be forgiven if that man has the time to make amends.

Liam Payne was not Diddy. He was not a fucking monster. He was not the sort of man who seriously harmed and traumatized countless women. He was a man who was unwell and who made mistakes in his relationships. But as we've seen from so many of his loved ones in the last few days, to his core, Liam Payne was a kind person. He cared about his family, his friends, his son. He wanted people to be happy, to smile. He wanted to entertain people, to be there for people, and to be loved. He was a human. And he was a victim of the music industry. He was overworked, objectified, and commodified as a literal child, and then he was left on his own after spending his most formative years in an extremely high stress environment. I mean, honestly, the fact that any of the boys wound up somewhat stable is beyond my comprehension. There was bound to be at least one of them who struggled to adjust.

And so, to say that you don't care that he died, to say that the world is better off without him, is a wild fucking stance. To have so little empathy for somebody who was a victim himself, to care so little for somebody who brought love and joy to the lives of so many people, who left behind a seven year old son, is fucking cold hearted. Nobody is asking you to cry over a man who you have no personal connection to, and we're also not asking that any of his potential victims receive hate or blame. But that doesn't mean those of us who are grieving should have to hear discourse about your "morally superior" Liam Payne take.

Some of us just want to mourn somebody who was a massive pillar in our lives, who brought us joy in dark times. Who, because we cared, we worried about for years. Not all 1D fans are the same in this regard, but I never hated Liam. I never blamed him for any of the foolish things he said in interviews. I understood his actions as those of somebody struggling, of somebody who was calling out for help, who needed that help, who needed support. Liam Payne, had he lived longer, could have become the man that he wanted to be, that everyone close to him knew he was capable of being. He'd been to rehab, he'd had periods of sobriety. He was working on himself. He was slowly getting better. So yes, I am mourning for the man that he was, not just the boy in the band, but the man he was working towards becoming. I am mourning for the man who made silly videos during Covid that helped me get through the monotony. I am mourning for the man who took silly selfies that made me laugh. I am mourning for the man who was talented beyond belief or recognition. I am mourning for the man who wanted to be loved and accepted so badly, and who the rest of the internet treated like SHIT for years before his death. Which, by the way, almost always had nothing to do with serious allegations but rather actions that the internet deemed "cringe."

I am so tired and so upset.

None of the women who are mourning Liam's death are "betraying their own sex" or whatever else some of you seem to believe. They are simply exercising a thing called empathy. Try it out sometime!

[threadbearsweater]

I think the hardest thing for me to realize is that not everyone is going to agree with/get along with/tolerate/like me. Or anyone for that matter. And it's gotta be okay. It applies to every space I find myself in- work, online, church, social settings, family gatherings.... it's all a juggling act. It's important to stick with the people who make you feel valued and loved, and not just in a superficial sense. It's important to understand the difference between someone being a genuine friend and then using you (or you using them) to inflate a fragile ego.

I've had meaningful relationships. I have (had/have) a fragile ego. I can't say that I never bought into the hype of having "popular" mutuals and being part of a community that felt very superficial in some instances, especially considering that some changed their minds SO fast regarding a poorly-worded post that was interpreted in bad faith.

If someone decides they don't like you anymore, they often bring friends right along with them.

Again, something I've experienced on both sides. I'm not justifying it or excusing it, nor am I saying it's the right thing to do. It's a simple fact of life, especially when we crave that sense of belonging, that sense of community and friendship and closeness with people we spend a lot of time with.

I felt as if I'd been under a microscope for some time. The further up the social ladder I felt myself climbing, the more I felt as if I had to watch every step, every word, every interaction. Maybe it's depression. Maybe it's me being chronically online. Maybe it's not that deep.

Maybe I just need to relax. Whatever it is, I resorted to extremes because it felt like the right thing to do at the time. I still think it was. I wasn't tumblr famous, I didn't have tens of thousands of followers, but I had enough that it felt as if I were a specimen in the zoo to be studied. Sometimes, it felt amazing to get attention. Sometimes, I wished for nothing more than to hide.

I hate that I've always resorted to extremes. It's when I know that depression has hit like a freight train, and I have to step back. I sever ties in irrational, hurtful ways. I make awful decisions. I want to erase my existence in a very literal sense of the word. To be dramatic, I suppose it's a form of virtual suicide. And here I am, back from the dead. I just miss what I had before. So I want to try again.

[cbk1000]

So, I'm going to do a long post on my health issues because I haven't really gone into much detail, and there’s a Lot, and maybe this will help someone else. Under a cut, not for anything graphic, but just because this is long as fuck.

I'll note first that for at least a year, maybe longer, I've been having really bad fatigue and brain fog, like struggling to concentrate and not fall asleep at my desk in the middle of the afternoon kind of fatigue. I have to drink a cup of coffee or two before I write just so I can have enough caffeine to get me through a couple of hours of wording. I blamed it on my poor sleep, which for about the same amount of time has been really bad: trouble falling asleep no matter how exhausted I am, waking up multiple times a night, and always waking up feeling extremely tired. Turns out these are all common signs of iron deficiency, which I didn't realise at the time.

Back in February one night after working out I suddenly had a weird sensation in my throat. It felt mildly swollen, and my tongue felt kind of tingly/numb. Nothing like this had ever happened to me before and I assumed it was a mild allergic reaction, though I was confused because I hadn't eaten anything new and I couldn't think of any new environmental exposures that would have done it. I take a Benadryl; no change.

It's after normal office hours, so I decide to have Mr Jenn take me to an urgent care clinic to give me something for the inflammation in case it gets worse.

Doc asks me the usual questions about what I ate, feels my throat for swelling, looks in my mouth, etc. Throat is maybe a tiny bit red, but looks pretty normal. He says just to cover all the bases and because it's going around, he's going to test me for strep.

Strep culture comes back positive. I am genuinely shocked because I have had strep before, it was the worst sore throat of my life, and I felt super sick. I feel fine, aside from the weird feeling in my throat, and it doesn't actually hurt, it's just an uncomfortable sensation. Doc says I probably just caught it early.

I start antibiotics, some prednisone for the inflammation, and also my period. (Which I didn't think was relevant at the time, but looking back I believe it was.)

I feel fine; just a teeny bit run down, but I'm on my period and I have strep.

A few days after starting my period, I start feeling a little worse. Not terrible, just generally Not Well. I ask Mr Jenn if he'll do the grocery shopping (we usually go together) because I just don't feel up to it.

It's a long holiday weekend thankfully, so I have more time to get back on my feet before returning to work. I spend the weekend chilling on the couch with Mr Jenn watching movies. I don't feel absolutely wrecked, but I don't feel well enough to do much more than lie on the couch watching movies.

Tuesday I go back to work. I feel pretty crappy: shaky, weak, just generally shitty. I try to push through but only manage a couple of hours of work and then clock out and take a sick day. I'm concerned because I'm 7 days into a 10 day antibiotic course at this point, and I should be almost back to normal, not feeling way worse than when I started. I decide to lie down and see if I feel any better.

I start feeling AWFUL. So poorly I call Mr Jenn at work and ask if he'll come take me back to urgent care (I don't have a primary care doctor at this point) because this is completely abnormal and I should probably make sure this isn't some complication of strep.

Go back to urgent care, doc feels my throat and looks in my mouth; throat looks fine and he's not seeing any indication the strep is worse. He tells me to stop the Prednisone; some people can have a gnarly reaction to it even during a short course. He also advises me to get my thyroid checked out when I'm able to get established with primary care, because that could potentially be causing some issues.

I go home and spend the day on the couch feeling violently nauseated and ill.

I work a couple of hours a day the next few days, but can't manage much more than that. I'm not feeling nauseated anymore, but I'm very weak and shaky and can't even sit up for long because I feel so crappy.

Friday I'm feeling a little better; but then Saturday I notice I'm having some heart palpitations. It's not super bad, but it's never happened before and I'm very fit with no history of heart issues so I was a bit concerned, but just kept an eye on it.

Sunday I'm having bad tachycardia. My heart is racing when I'm just standing at the sink trying to wash my face. I'm feeling incredibly weak and overall terrible. One of the urgent cares in town has an EKG machine and will do cardiac assessments, so I decide to go there because I'm trying to avoid the hospital if possible.

Urgent care turns me away because the doctor on duty that day isn't comfortable handling cardiac issues, so I have to go to the hospital to get checked out.

I'm so weak I have to hold myself up on the front desk when checking in. I am too weak to stand without holding onto it for support and genuinely feel like I'm dying. I honestly cannot remember the last time I felt that horrible.

Hospital runs a bunch of labs, and does several imaging tests to check for a heart attack and pulmonary embolism. After a couple of bags of IV fluids my heart rate drops to normal and I don't feel back to normal, but I do feel far stronger. Doc says he can't find anything, but that doesn't mean there isn't something to find, so come back if I develop different symptoms or it gets worse.

I lay around on the couch Sunday and Monday.

Tuesday morning I wake up at like 2:00 shaking and feeling horribly weak. I decide to drink some Gatorade and eat some Saltines and see if that helps.

It doesn't. I've gone out to the couch to eat and drink so I don't disturb Mr Jenn, who is still asleep in the bedroom. Seamus is keeping me company, though, so there's that. I go back and forth about what to do. I feel genuinely awful.

I get dressed and wake poor Mr Jenn up at 4:00 and ask him to drive me back to the hospital. My heart is pounding again and I feel like I'm about to keel over.

Hospital doesn't want to redo the imaging tests because it's unlikely anything has changed there after a couple of days (and I had a normal EKG), but they run some more labs including a mono test and give me some more fluids. Doc is stumped. Says maybe it's some kind of virus doing this. (I have been tested for Covid, mono, and a couple of flu strains and all tests have come back negative.) I am discharged.

I update my boss because I took another sick day Monday and let her know I won't be able to work Tuesday either. I am absolutely exhausted when I get home and pass out for three hours, wake up, and feel like I could sleep a million more.

My boss is a former ER nurse and is super concerned about my heart rate and that I feel poorly enough to keep calling out sick, because that’s not like me.

Over the next couple of days she has me check in with her every couple of hours. She has me noting down my symptoms in detail and also making sure I'm eating every hour even though my appetite is poor and drinking plenty of water as well as electrolytes. That way if I have to go back to the hospital I can show that none of these issues are caused by dehydration or blood sugar issues from not eating.

Electrolytes help my heart rate a bit; some days it's almost back to normal. I don't feel as bad as when I first went to the hospital, but I'm still very weak and poorly and it's a struggle to keep my heart rate down.

I start getting terrible chills every day. Like, cold-to-the-bone, can't warm up even under a pile of blankets or in a hot bath. I never run a fever, but the chills are every day and last several hours usually. I always sleep with the fan on even in winter but can't run it now because I'm so cold all the time.

My heart rate goes back to 140+ bpm standing at my sink washing my face. I'm also having shortness of breath and chest pain at this point. I update my boss, and she says she thinks it's time to go back in. She offers to meet me at the hospital to help me advocate for some tests that might find something (she wants them to do an echocardiogram, which is an ultrasound of the heart, and blood cultures).

Hospital runs some more labs, and does an echo. Doctor says structurally my heart looks good, but he's seeing what might be an indication of pericarditis (inflammation of the sac around the heart). It causes a brightness in that area, and while that can sometimes be caused by flashback on the monitor, he says that coupled with some of my symptoms makes him comfortable giving a presumptive diagnosis of pericarditis. Standard treatment is a week of high dose ibuprofen for the inflammation, and I'll also be put on acid blockers to protect my stomach.

[peanutbutterandbananasandwichs]

choose violence ask game: 7, 16 & 20

7. what character did you begin to hate not because of canon but because how how the fandom acts about them?

The obvious answer is Dean but I don't hate him - even when I wanna kill him with hammers - and there's PLENTY of canon reasons for me to want to do that lol. But I do find him significantly more tolerable when I've not seen a fanon DeanGirl take in a few hours <3 Let me enjoy him in all his awfulness in PEACE please and thank.

Occasionally I feel it about Cas but again I do have genuine affection in my heart for him (although sometimes it more the theory of him than the reality you know lol). 16. you can’t understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc)

lol I could answer this one til the cows come home. A select few:

1) Dean being involved in any way with Sam's journey to Stanford or them having any contact whatsoever whilst Sam was there. I reject it utterly. (Him coming CLOSE to making contact with Dean I'm fine with but not it actually happening.)

2) Talking of Stanford, any depiction of Stanford Sam that doesn't understand the fundamental fact that this was Sam's one chance to get out, that he was a kid on a scholarship with no other financial or practical help or resources to fall back upon. He was absolutely taking this extremely seriously, probably to the point of crushing anxiety at times. (But yes he was also happy, its a balance.)

3) Perfect parent Dean in general, but in particular not acknowledging that not only could Dean not protect Sam from his feelings of otherness throughout his childhood, but that Dean was an active participant in the othering and perpetuating those feelings in Sam, because that's what his role in the family unit demanded of him.

20. part of canon you found tedious or boring

Angel politics. Genuinely insane how tedious most of it is post S6 (I actually like the background war in S6 it makes it feel much more tense and interesting that we largely DON'T see it happening). I've recently rewatched S9-11 and realising how LITTLE the angel story actually progresses in that time despite us having to spend soo much time with it dear lord. I also personally find much of the MoC storyline incredibly tedious (so sorry to Dean) - there are flashes where it's interesting and the underlying potential is good. But ultimately it has no lasting impact on Dean - it doesn't force him to confront anything about himself, even though its literally set up to be able to do so (it doesn't control you, it makes you more of what you already are). The framing in S10 with the show trying to explicitly parallel Sam trying to free Dean from the Mark to Dean forcing possession on Sam in S9 makes me what to tear my eyes out, and quite frankly every second that we spend watching Dean have nightmares about the Mark or lingering sadly on his face just hammers home the lack of that for Sam in S9 and it makes me scream. Ok so maybe it's not so much boring as infuriating lol. But a lot of it is just kinda tedious too!

[eradicatetehnormal]

I love how Youtube has opened up a new space for journalism.

Anyways, I read through the comments of the video after watching the whole thing, and it made me remember how awful the discourse around sex work and porn is. Those two topics are one of the few that make me feel like I'm socially moderate.

Anytime time we talk about sex work and the effects of porn, it's almost always "Sex work is empowering for women and gives them the autonomy to objectify themselves" or "Sex work is demeaning to women, puts them in danger, and is immoral." It's just like, why those two extremes? I wish these topics could be treated with the moral grayness they deserve. Neither side really understands the other.

The side that's saying sex work is empowering is just kind of ignoring how it's really just a job. Take away all the social stigma and criminalization, women are just kind of doing what they've been able to do for a while now. Working. Can it be empowering? Depending on the person, sure, but it's about as empowering to women as a whole as say, working as a cashier at Walmart. Cool that we can provide for ourselves :) Actually getting into it though, a lot of people making this point do deliberately ignore how dehumanizing it actually is to work for say, the porn industry. A lot of people get boiled down to their categories. Shem*le, ebony, Asian, BBW, things of that nature. This does unfortunately contribute to how these groups get treated in real life. It may not be the main or only source of problems such as trans women and queer people generally having higher rates of experience with sexual violence, but it certainly doesn't help.

With the anti-sex work side, they hyper-focus on human trafficking, when most sex workers get into the industry out of choice. It's not because of glamourization either. Quite frankly, aside from Pretty Woman, which is a debatable example, I don't know what media these people are watching where sex workers and their jobs are seen as ideal. Any time I see a sex worker in a movie or tv show, they're either dumb, drug addicts, dirty, or dead. If you ask the vast majority of women across all ages if sex work, whether it be OnlyFans modeling, escorting, stripping, etc. would be their first choice of work, I guarantee that most of them we'll say no. Because most of us understand. Most of us know, if not the physical danger, the social harm it could cause us to sell our bodies. Places won't hire us, people will refuse to date us, people will assault us, and we will be disowned by family. I'm not gonna lie, thinking of sex work as being an easy job where you spend 15 minutes with a dude at some motel or you take pictures of yourself and get paid thousands, is a dude thing. It's an outlook you can only have if you don't have to deal with social stigma or the threat of pregnancy.

When it comes to the actual video that I linked, the woman herself shows a good dichotomy of these two sides. On one hand, she understands and is empathetic to abused sex workers. She isn't just dog-whistling about survivors of trafficking, she genuinely wants to help them and she sees their value as humans. That's a great thing, especially with her being a Christian, a group of people who put down and scorn sex workers. At the same time though, she does seem to blame things like porn for being the main reason people would call prostitutes and feel entitled to sex. Even though she recognizes the loneliness of those who'd even think about it.

Upon doing further research. The organization has lobbied Congress to decriminalize sex work, but it also has urged people part of its safehouse to not read magazines with progressive-leaning outlooks on sex. The organization she runs, "Hookers for Jesus" is also unsurprisingly anti-LGBTQ, which discriminates against a lot of people who might benefit from an organization like this as homeless queer people are 3-7 times more likely to take up sex work in order to survive.

IDK how to end this. So yeah.

[mercuriallycooperative]

okay but like the story? about the last time Wednesday cried? when she was six? that was genuinely horrifyingly traumatizing as hell, like what the fuck.

(i think this has haunted her all through her life, and not in the fun way; and i think we see it more often than we know throughout the events of the show.)

like I think in some ways its gravitas can get hidden, a little, because Nero was a scorpion, and when you start off a story with “Wednesday was out taking her scorpion for a walk”, that’s an image that’s a little ridiculous and a little surreal, something not-quite-real; and because Nero was a scorpion, Nero was a bug (okay an arachnid but still) and I think at least in the US we don’t necessarily instinctively group those in with animals-that-can-really-be-pets-the-way-dogs-and-cats-are, unless we know someone that has one and we learn that yeah actually they can be; and in that same vein Nero-the-scorpion, Nero-the-bug, can sort of get lost in the shuffle of the idea of a generic sort of scorpion-bug, because we’re not exactly conditioned to tell one apart from the other, right? No more than we are for, say, beetles or cockroaches. “Wednesday’s pet scorpion” is the idea that is primed to stick in mind, not the fullness of the fact that “Nero, the scorpion” was a discrete being.

and like- okay, I do not speak for the world and the general success a media has with instilling an empathy is variable and emotions are hard but like- even watching that awful moment play out on screen, even knowing it’s awful because between the basic facts of the moment and the framing and the right proper acting how can it not be, even then I suspect that with how casual our socialization is with the death of carapaced creatures, Nero’s death doesn’t receive the full impact it deserves.

that is, emotionally, the audience doesn’t quite have time to really sit with the fact that at six years old, Wednesday was held back by some bullies and forced to watch her pet be crushed in front of her, for the crime of being hers. she had to watch the life leave his body along with his organs. she said it was snowing when she buried what was left of him; and the audience doesn’t get a chance to sit with the fact that this means Wednesday probably had to scrape up her pet’s mangled corpse by hand from the pavement and carry him home.

like. jesus fucking christ.

and you know what? you can bet she never did get any justice for Nero. no justice other than what she may or may not have taken out with her own two hands at some point later, anyway. because Nero was a scorpion and he was a bug and an arachnid and maybe venomous and people are scared of creatures like that and those boys were just playing around and it was probably just an accident, you really shouldn’t have had that thing out in public-

she was a child walking her pet, peacefully, harming no one.

(can you imagine if that had been a dog or cat? and those boys had held down a kid and crushed their dog or cat to death in a public street like that?)

i said, earlier, that I think this event has haunted her all her life. I don’t just mean with respect to how she decided that crying doesn’t solve problems, and that she wouldn’t be doing it again.

one might wonder, for someone like Wednesday who is so cavalier about causing grievous injury (to the people who bullied her brother) (to the person who killed Rowan and all those people), why she seemed to care that the school, her prison, might burn. one might wonder why she seemed to care that Rowan died, when he had literally just tried to kill her- not just cared for the mystery, cared for the death. one might wonder why she says her greatest fear has always been that she would be responsible for something bad-terrible.

Nero died for the crime of being hers.

i would be willing to bet that Wednesday doesn’t want anyone else dying for the crime of being in her vicinity. (unless she’s the one doing the murdering, anyway.)

i would be willing to bet she doesn’t want to be the reason, the cause of anything she doesn’t mean to do.

(i would also be willing to bet she doesn’t want to lose people, especially not because of her own... just existing in the way she does; i think that might contribute to any natural tendency she has toward being standoffish, and possibly also why she took the falling out with Enid quite as badly as she did. but my personal thoughts about how Wednesday tries to bond with people can wait.)

there are events that shape your childhood. for better, for worse, they write themselves into your bones and make a home in your lungs and stain you in their blood.

i would reckon that Nero’s death was such an event, for Wednesday.

[bunnidid-reviews]

is it frowned upon to wish that one could dissociate or have an alter take over in moments that are awful and stressful? genuine question

Hmmm, this blog is really more intended on reviewing and sharing media about complex dissociative disorders, or could easily be related to CDDs. Certainly not an advice blog for this or anything else > < I think any more general questions about DID can be forwarded to @sundropglass (main blog) if at all, just to stay on topic here.

But since you asked, I may as well share my perspective a little bit. I urge you to read it all.

Of course it's something anyone would want. Shut off and let the stress be taken care of for someone else? go off to fairyland a bit? It's actually an extremely sophisticated way of functioning in the midst of trauma; tuck it away, get through the thing that you might otherwise feel like you're dying from.

But where does that stress go?

Say that you had a very stressful day. Maybe one thing after another kept going wrong. And all day, there was absolutely nothing you could do because you had to carry on with a smile on your face and act like everything's fine, while more dismays pile on top of you. Maybe on top of that, you end up having an argument with a loved one and now you have social anxiety and no sense of safety or relief.

This is not out of the norm. People live very stressful lives all the time. It builds up though, all that stress is piled into your immune system if you don't have any release.(Expressing emotions in a healthy manner) It comes out in the ways that maybe you get ill, or spend all day in the bathroom, or get a migraine. This is what we call the body keeping the score (a book I should read tbh). What the mind doesnt handle(dissociates from), the body will.

This is what people with CDDs regularly go through. Trauma = stress that's beyond your range of coping. Chronic trauma means chronic stress, just stored away in pockets upon pockets where its never dealt with until much later in life. This is why I don't think I know a single system who doesn't have some sort of chronic health issues. The initial trauma may not have killed them, but maybe the health issues that come from all this chronic stress might just finish the job.

This isn't even addressing what the disorder implies mentally.

Look up the symptoms of PTSD, look into personality disorders, attachment disorders, anxiety, depression, suicidal ideation. Any trauma-based symptoms could come with a CDD, because there's nearly nothing special at all about DID or OSDD. They're not sectioned off 'incredible' disorders as much as media or people on the internet will imply. We are normal people who have been hurt. A lot.

We have this disorder because no one came to save us, so we had to turn to ourselves, sometimes at an extremely young age. There's no measuring the amount of hurt it takes for a young child to feel this alone.

Going off this ask alone, but because you wish you could dissociate to such the intensity as you're suggesting, tells me that you haven't actually. Daydreaming or spacing out is a very minor case of dissociation, but the level at which you're having alters would imply that you're hoping to dissociate much further than you actually think you want. Do you not want to recognize your own spouse, or be completely unable to be present in the best moments of your life? This doesn't shut off when you're happy again.

Say fine fine fine, yes yes yes to all of this, you could deal, because at least you'd be another person who would bear the responsibility for you.

I hate to tell you this, but that's not how alters work. They are, at the end of the day, still part of you. They don't magically whisk away all this stress they face, they'd still hold onto it, be strongly effected by it, and you're a lot more likely to have the same stress come back over and over again and go unprocessed because of the fragmentation involved.

If it's to ease off some of the responsibility of being yourself, then.. Well that's not what happens with DID either. Those of us with a CDD tend to feel overly responsible for everything around us, actually. It's not the escape you're hoping for.

In a short answer: Yes it is very believable to want this disorder, to want alters. That's understandable even!

But I'm also going to say this is frowned upon. There is a LOT more to these disorders than some spacing out and some cool characters. I hope you can understand a little more why this mentality is frowned upon; no one who has it actually wants it when it comes down to it

BUT i HAVE GOOD NEWS FOR YOU ANON!! Please listen

It's okay to want to be someone else to get through the stress. It's even okay to turn off your brain and space out. These are natural human things. Just.. They don't have to be a disorder. There are some recommendations for coping that aren't hoping to have a CDD, but might suit you if you struggle with this:

Try to analyze your life and see what it is that's causing you so much stress that it makes you want to not exist in such a way. If you're in a bad environment that you can't change, there are still little things you can do to make it better for yourself

Are there things you CAN change? Maybe you can look into getting professional help or finding a new job, or even so much as regularly tidying up the space you're in

Look up coping mechinisms and grounding techniques

Take breaks and let yourself really unwind. Read a book or go outside and look at clouds or something until you feel calm. I promise this feels way better than dissociation

Fun Coping Tools That Feel Like What You Want Out Of Dee Eye Dee:

create a story in your head. If you come up with a world all your own to explore, it feels like having an inner world

Create original characters you can "be". By this I mean be imaginative like when we were all kids. >>Here's a really cool version of what adults can do if 'playing pretend' seems too childish for you<<

Have some staring out a window time. Just let your mind go for a bit

None of this has to be disordered to be helpful, and have nearly the same effect that you're hoping for.

If you are at a point where you want to not exist for suicidal reasons, I really urge you to get some help. There's always someone who wants you to be around, even if thats some time in the future.

[pentition]

I'd love to babble about portia, sandrock and especially Pen to you! My brains is a little covid addled though so depth might be a bit lacking. (I've been feeling better slowly but steadily, but this shit is not a normal flu, fuck this everything tastes extremely bitter or like nothing. Sadness.)

As for Pen and the new sandrock update, I felt like that mission with Pen training you genuinely really revealed a lot about his character. I can't really put it into words right now. But I genuinely like him, despite what he did. I don't think he is entirely black and white. And while it's not the same 100%, as a perfectionist and someone who is always thinking about how others perceive me I can relate somewhat.

Oh gosh, that's awful. Don't push yourself if you're unwell! (●´□`)♡ I've somehow dodged Covid all this time (as I punch a hole through the nearest wooden object, lmao) so I'm not even going to pretend I understand how crummy you must feel. I hope it passes asap with no aftermath issues to deal with!!

Also to anyone reading: SPOILERS! I hope putting it like that always draws the eye, haha.

I agree, I can't see him as a black and white character either. What he decides is worth spending his time on says a lot to me, honestly. Like in Simply the Best, I feel like what he says leading up to the mission to be really interesting. It shows Pen is potentially self-aware of himself and what he is as a super soldier.

He has "unconventional tastes" with dates and only "feels alive on the battlefield". It's also the only time we see him freely complimenting the Builder separate from himself, iirc. Also using the term 'love' in a few ways.

To me, it came across like Pen was trying to take it more seriously and that was likely new to him. He broached the subject of what interested him and made it clear enough to the Builder, acknowledged attraction physically and wanting to see if it went beyond that. Almost like he was voicing in his own way a manner of uncertainty and poking around to see if this whole 'true love' thing was real. Real and mutual. All sandwiched between his usual egotistical comments about himself we know and expect (and love).

But that's also interesting to me because in his role, if he's really a Knight, or by just being an experimented upon super soldier - I imagine he could be someone important to Duvos. Not to say Duvos cares about their soldiers, we have no real proof of that. But if he was a successful experiment, as it seems, that may be what warranted this ego in the first place. So maybe the idea of sharing yourself with someone else, or finding them even good enough, probably is something he thinks is reasonable to be picky with.

Also even if there was the chance the Builder was accepting of him if they learned the truth then it's even more imperative they are worth something to Duvos. Pen vouching because he loves them as their super soldier I don't think is enough for them to accept a non-Duvos citizen. At least, that's my impression given how everyone seems to regard both the country and its people so far.

I feel like Pen is always saying more than what it seems. Combat tutorial was funny and great but you could say he was also just trying to assess someone new on the board. You can argue the whole heart knot acceptance and romance mission is a manipulation scheme but that still makes me ask why. Why is that worth his time when there are surely easier people to turn into his fans or have fawn over him? Was he just bored and is actually nasty and cruel? I don't think from his perspective that the Builder is a threat, not until Knives Out hits and they have potentially met Logan after taking a fall. Then there's a slightly awkward 'welcome back' from him that seems torn between acknowledging it as your pal/partner Pen and Duvos's spy Pen.

Gosh I'm rambling but yeah, I don't think he's black and white. I think he is all the things he presents all at once. It's just a matter of how self-aware he is in that moment, or how much he cares. The context of the situation and who is present. But either way, the perception of others means a lot to him given both his true role and the protector role. And I think that carries over to how the Builder perceives him, just in a more personal manner the more they get on.

It makes me want more romance missions with him and all that content just to see more of him in contexts outside of what we consider his norm.

[jj-babebank]

Camp Willowdale / JJ Maybank AU / PART 2

Synopsis: Camp Willowdale is buzzing with new campers. It’s Caroline Windsor’s first year as a camp counsellor after attending the camp as a camper for ten years. Little does she know that this year Willowdale Lake is going to be a little different from what she is used to it being…

Warnings: future chapters may include curse words, mentions of drugs, mentions of alcohol, mentions of sexual activities, mentions of death.

Pairings: JJ Maybank x fem OC

Part 1 can be found here. xxx

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Part 2 -

Lunch was over and Pricilla organised the boys to go set up the objects for tomorrow night's scavenger hunt around the camp grounds. The boys had drawn the groups their pairs would be in charge of before leaving and JJ and Caroline had gotten Teens 2, whereas Sarah and John B had gotten Teens 1, which meant that, for better or worse, their groups would be partaking in a lot of activities together, seeing as they were both in the same age group.

The girls were given the job to set up the seating area where the bonfire was going to be, so Sarah and Caroline stuck together as they made their way towards the clearance where it was going to be held.

"Can you believe I got paired up with JJ Maybank?" Caroline sighed.

"Beats Routledge by a thousand, I can promise you that," said Sarah, still extremely disappointed, "At least Maybank looks like he takes care of himself."

Caroline chuckled at her comment. John B had also grown his hair out over the years and it was now down to his shoulders.

"He does seem like he is... in touch with nature," Caroline remarked and Sarah laughed genuinely for the first time since drawing the boy’s name out, "Maybe they won't be that bad to work with, besides, it's only nine weeks, what could go wrong?"

Sarah seemed to think for a second before her lips curled into a devious smirk, "Hey, didn't you used to have, like, the biggest crush on Maybank?"

Caroline's cheeks turned red immediately, "I don't know what you're talking about," she mumbled quickly.

Sarah started laughing, "You totally did! You lucky, lucky bitch! I wish I got paired up with my childhood crush! Instead I get to spend my last summer before moving away with snot-nosed, bug-eating Routledge... Why was the Universe on your side and not on mine?"

They walked behind the rest of the girl counsellors towards the bonfire area. When they arrived, the logs that Pricilla had informed them would be stacked up in a convenient for them to move around way, were all scattered across the ground. The pillows that were meant to go on top of them were also in disarray. All the girls looked around in confusion.

"Surely this couldn't have been the wind?" one of them said.

"Surely this was the boys." said Sarah matter-of-factly, "I'd bet 50 bucks that Routledge had something to do with this."

All the girls turned to look at her in confusion.

"What?" she protested, shrugging her shoulders, "You know I'm right."

Caroline rolled her eyes, "Boys or not, we better sort this mess out before sundown, we have cabins to set up as well."

The girls agreed, Sarah being skeptical but also finally giving in, and little by little, they set up the bonfire area. It took them a little over two hours before they started making their way back to the cabins, which they were supposed to decorate with welcome signs for the arriving campers.

Since Sarah and Caroline were both in charge of the oldest groups, their campers were meant to be sharing two cabins - one for the boys and one for the girls.

"Let's split up, I'll do the boys and you do the girls," Sarah offered, nearly shocking Caroline, "Try being as quick as you can. Meet me back out here in 15 minutes tops." she ordered before scurrying up the steps into the boys’ cabin.

Caroline rushed into the cabin next door, pleasantly surprised by Sarah's sudden determination to get work done. As she was arranging the banners and posters on the walls and ceiling, she couldn't help but think that Sarah must have had some sort of ulterior motive to being this enthusiastic about working. Sure enough, she was right.

She had barely taken a step out of the girls' cabin when Sarah spoke up, "Took you long enough. Now let's go find those stupid guys."

The sun was setting and the woods had gotten a bit chilly as Sarah lead Caroline towards where the male counsellors were supposed to be. After setting up the scavenger hunt objects, they were supposed to set up the archery area. As they were getting closer to the archery grounds, the two girls could hear the laughter of the boys in the nearby distance. Sarah pretended to gag yet again.

"Quick, around here," Caroline pulled Sarah behind the small hut where they kept all of the camp's archery supplies. From their spot they could see the guys quite clearly and could hear everything they were saying, "Remind me again why we're doing this?" Caroline whisper-yelled at Sarah.

"Because I'm still furious about their little prank," Sarah explained, "Which is why I want to prank them back."

"How are we gonna do that exactly?" asked Caroline, "By eavesdropping?"

"A good villain is one that knows the enemy's weaknesses," said Sarah, "First we listen for a bit, and then we make a plan."

Caroline couldn't help but smirk at this new side of Sarah she was seeing. She much preferred this Sarah to the constantly whining, gloating Sarah she had gotten used to over the years. Plus, being somewhat of a daredevil herself, Caroline couldn't help but find the idea of pranking the boys back exciting.

"Can you believe I got paired with Jenna Kinley?" one of the boys, Kelce, said, "Not only are we supposed to work together, but we're also meant to be taking care of babies..." he face palmed himself.

The other boys laughed.

"C'mon, Johnson, 10 year olds are hardly babies," said another one of the boys, Topper, "Besides, working with Kinley will not be nearly as scandalous as working with Hague!"

JJ spoke up next, "Aw, don't be like that, Top," he said, "Madison's not that bad!"

Topper scoffed at JJ, "Easy for you to say! You and Routledge got paired with the best girls out of the bunch! And you got the teens groups!"

Sarah and Caroline smirked at the remark.

"Boys, boys, boys," came John B's voice suddenly, "Let's put this topic behind us, I'm sure you'll all be glad to hear about what I managed to sneak into our cabin." all the boys were now staring at John B in anticipation, "16 bottles of pure, fine whiskey, m'boys. Safe to say, tonight will be a ball."

"Bingo..." Sarah and Caroline smiled mischievously at each other, the perfect prank idea forming in both of their heads.

They quietly made their way back to where all the cabins were and sat at one of the patios.

"So here's the plan," said Sarah, "We sneak into their cabin, raid Routledge's luggage and steal his bottles of whiskey. Let's go now!"

Caroline stopped her, "No, no, not now!" she hissed, "They're gonna go to their cabin before dinner and Routledge's gonna want to show them his stash! We'll sneak out during dinner. Oh, and, I suggest we throw a party of our own to this occasion."

Sarah smirked at Caroline, "I like where you're going with this, Carrie," she said, patting Caroline's shoulder before standing up to go into their cabin, "Not bad for a nerd."

Caroline sighed, there was the old Sarah again.

~~~~~~~~

“Windsor!” Caroline heard a voice behind her call out, “Been paired up for a whole day now and we still haven’t the chance to talk!”

Caroline turned around to find a beaming JJ smiling at her. Had he come over from the boys table specifically for her? She could feel her cheeks beginning to burn slightly.

“We can talk,” she said quickly.

JJ took a seat next to her on the long bench. She could feel the heat in her cheeks become even hotter. JJ didn’t seem to notice her nervousness, or awkwardness.

“How’s life been then?” he asked.

Caroline took a deep breath to soothe her nerves, looking up, only to find a smirking Sarah crossing her arms across from her at the table.

“Just the regular, nothing too special,” she said, frowning quickly at Sarah before turning to face JJ again, hoping he hadn’t noticed Sarah’s behavior.

JJ jokingly frowned, “Nothing too special? I heard you got accepted into Charleston University, that’s like super special.”

Caroline cringed internally, “Did you happen to hear anything else by any chance?”

JJ smirked, “Not sure what you’re talking about,”

Caroline wasn’t sure if he was being serious or not but she pretended to not be bothered.

“Well I hear you’re throwing a party tonight,” Caroline crossed her arms in front of her.

JJ smirked even more, “Where’d you hear that from?”

“Why?” she tempted, “Is my source wrong?”

“Hardly,” JJ bit back, standing up, “So perhaps I’ll see you there.”

With that he walked back to where the other male counsellors were sat, giving one last look at Caroline, smirk never leaving his face.

Sarah started laughing loudly, “Looks like someone’s got their eye on little Carrie,” she teased, “Lucky, lucky bitch.”

Caroline rolled her eyes at her, “Bullshit,”

Sarah leaned over the table to whisper to Caroline, “I like the way you handled the situation, we’re definitely going to be there, on more occasions than one.”

Caroline looked at her watch, “Shit, it’s getting late, we better go now!”

And with that, they snuck their way out of the Wildcat Lodge and towards the boys’ cabin.

“Crap, the door’s locked!” Sarah cursed.

Caroline looked around. One of the upper windows seemed to be open. This gave her an idea.

“Sarah, do you still do cheerleading?” she looked at the girl, a plan forming in her brain.

Sarah raised an eyebrow, “What’s that got to do with anything? And duh, how else would my legs look this good?”

Caroline’s lips turned into a grin, “Give me a lift.”

Sarah’s eyes widened, “Excuse me?”

Caroline nodded her head towards the upper window and Sarah whined, “Why’s it always me?”

Silently, they rushed into position. Sarah took her stance, her hands ready to lift up Caroline’s body. Caroline balanced herself on Sarah’s shoulders as Sarah readied her hands to push her up. In one swift motion, Caroline had pulled herself in through the upper window and was now inside the cabin. She immediately went to the door to unlock the handle from the inside so that Sarah could let herself in.

The two girls looked around the space. It was dark and the only light penetrating into it was the one from the lamps outside. Three pairs of bunk beds were sitting there, covered in unpacked suitcases, boxes and bags.

“Great,” sighed Caroline in annoyance, “How are we ever going to figure out which one’s Routledge’s?”

Sarah took a better look at all of the bunk beds again, her eyes landing on one with a particularly large suitcase with a Green Peace sign on it, “My guess is that it’s that one.”

They went over to the suitcase and Sarah nervously leaned over it, “Eurgh, bug eating Routledge better not have live animals in there,” she said as she quickly ripped open the zipper, flinching away as soon as it came undone.

“That’s it!” Caroline excitedly said, “Help me pick it up!”

The suitcase contained three changes of clothes and a large box filled with unopened bottles of whiskey, just like they had heard John B brag about by the archery area. The two girls combined all of their strength to lift the heavy box off the bed and made their way towards the door, when they heard a loud thumping sound from the back of the cabin. Something heavy had fallen in the corner of the cabin that was unlit by the outdoor lamps, making both girls slightly jump and nearly tip over the box full of alcohol. They squinted their eyes in the direction where the sound came from, however they couldn’t make out anything in the thick darkness.

“What was that?” Sarah said nervously.

“Whatever it was,” Caroline said, leading them out of the door, “We can’t wait around to find out.”

With that they were out of the cabin, closing the door behind them and making their way back to their own cabin quickly.

They hid the box inside the storage room and decided to sneak back into the Wildcat Lodge, so that nobody would question their whereabouts.

There was half an hour left until the end of dinner service as Sarah and Caroline sat back at their designated table, trying to draw as little attention to themselves as they could.

“Do you think someone saw us in there?” whispered Sarah so that only Caroline could hear.

Caroline shrugged her shoulders, “I really hope not, but I did get the weird feeling that we were being watched once we heard that noise,”

Sarah shuddered, “Yeah, major heebie jeebies in there. Glad the boys got that cabin and not us.”

Caroline rolled her eyes, “Relax, Sarah, worst case scenario is it was just one of the guys and he saw us stealing tonight’s party supplies.”

Sarah raised an eyebrow, “I swear to God if it was Routledge -”

“If it was Routledge, he wouldn’t have let us get away with it,”

“Shit, Carrie, you’re totally right!” Sarah unwillingly raised her voice, “Who do you think it was?”

Caroline shrugged again, “Honestly? I don’t think it was anyone, I just think something happened to fall down on its own.”

“Hmm… You’re probably right again.” Sarah turned to look at the big clock on the wall, “We’d better get going, we’ve got to get ready for that party you got invited to!” she winked at Caroline, smirking.

Caroline looked towards the boys table where JJ was already looking back at her, a smile dancing on his thin lips. She met his eyes and a faint blush appeared on her cheeks. She decided to give him a little wave to which he happily waved back.

“Hello?” Sarah’s annoyed voice broke Caroline’s focus from JJ, “Are you coming or what? I want us to look good for when we see the guys’ disappointed faces tonight!”

Caroline sighed and followed Sarah out of the Lodge. Tonight was going to be interesting.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N: I know I only just uploaded the first part, but I want to establish the Camp Willowdale universe as fast as possible so that the actual story can take off and it does in the next part. I'm going to create a taglist for people who have shown interest in the story thus far, so if you want to be included, make sure to leave a reply so that I can include you in the next part.

Also if you haven't noticed so far, this story, aside from fun and romantic, will be quite campy so I hope you're into that. We've also got quite the mystery coming up so stay tuned for that as well x

Alsoooo please give me some inspiration on who I can base Caroline off, I'm kind of leaving her up to the reader's imagination so that you can just imagine yourself as her, but ideally I'd like to have someone who's picture I can use for future photos. I've got my mind set on Maia Mitchel, but feel free to drop recommendations too.

Anyways, let me know what you think this far and feel free to check out the rest of my works in my masterlist. xxx

Part 3 here

[lawxbread]

hiya!!!can I ask for a scenario with some angsttt?😂😂I was thinking maybe sanji got hurt in a fight and was hiding his injuries but his fem!s/o found out? thanks so much in advance!! (I don't rly like nsfw smut stuff I just love angsty stuff for some reason loool)

(´• ω •`) ♡ Hey yo!! Thanks a bunch for requesting! I got so upbeat reading your ask since we all love Sanji, so I couldn’t wait to write it! Like you, I find myself appreciating writing/reading angst stuff lately so... your request came in handy !! I hope you enjoy it, have a nice and safe day! <3

I’d never think of you as a failure

Sanji x fem!reader

  Summary: Sanji has been acting weird since he came back from an exploration mission. Thanks to that, an excruciating event happened between you and Sanji. Obviously, you couldn’t help but try to figure out what’s going on with him. Sanji’s cheeling past with his family certainly has to do with it. Well, at least he has you to count on.

 Warnings: angst, disagreements, troubled past

Word count: ~1.7k

"I miss him..." You mumble to yourself as soon as you wake up, seeing the left side of your bed empty.

 It's been a few days since Sanji, your boyfriend, left the ship with Luffy, Robin, Franky, and Law's crew to explore an island. The band split into two groups to streamline the process of going in search of the blue poneglyphs. Consequently, you and the rest of the crew are in charge of keeping tabs on the ship, while the other group is using  Law's submarine since all of you agreed to meet at the next island.

 You and the others have been waiting for the rest of the crew as you already arrived on the encounter island four days ago.

  "Good morning, Nami." You greet the Straw hats' navigator while you approach Sunny's aquarium. She is sitting on the bench, "Morning, Y/N!". You both start a conversation, then you bring up the subject of the rest of the crew's members comeback, showing your worries about Sanji's safety. "I can't stand it anymore. I miss him so freaking much." You say as you cross your arms, with your hands gripping upper them. "I guess I've been used to be by his side." Nami can't help but give you a sad look. She tries to comfort you by saying they will arrive when you least expect it.

  Suddenly, You hear someone yells, "THEY'RE HERE!! LUFFY AND THE OTHERS!!"

 "Oh my god. And I want to earn a hundred million bellies!" Nami jokes as soon as she realizes the amused fluke. You don't hesitate a second and run towards the room's door in an attempt to check if it's true, with your heart pounding out of your chest, utterly desperate.

  You see Usopp in the ship's mainmast, with his hands screening his eyes from the sun's light as he tries to get a better view of the group coming. He can't stop smiling and screaming about the other group's return, giving you a glad feeling.

 "Oi!! Oi, oi, oi!" It's Luffy, happily waving at all of you. Your eyes automatically start looking for Sanji in the crowd. As soon as you see your boyfriend, without a second thought, you run towards him, immediately jumping out of Sunny, "Sanji!!".

 When Sanji notices you, a smile from ear to ear on his face appears. He opens his arms, implying to give you a tight hug.

 Quickly, you hug him. The warmth you feel when you both embrace each other is incomparable, "I missed you." Sanji whispers as he holds you. 

��When you are about to let go of the embrace, you slowly rub your arm over Sanji's right shoulder, "Ouch!" Sanji unintentionally lets out, as if he was in pain. "What happened??" You worriedly ask. "It's Nothing, Y/N-chan." Sanji grins while he tucks a lock of your hair behind your ear, "I'm okay. Don't worry." You can't help but fret about him. Still, you pass this matter over for a while.

Thereabout eight hours have passed since Luffy's group return. Since then, you've been spending this whole time with Sanji. 

 You are sitting on a bench in front of the kitchen countertop while you watch Sanji cooking the banquet for the celebration later, "You look tired.", you say with a concerned voice tone as you fold your hands together on the countertop. "How long has it been since you've slept decently?" Sanji scratches his neck with his index finger, "I'm not tired, Y/N-chan." Sanji replies while he puts some flour on the tip of your nose, leaving it entirely white. So then, he chuckles. "I've been sleeping well, don't worry." Afresh, he smiles, but you know he's hiding something from you. Sanji is unsettled, for sure.

  The big celebration starts, lots of food all over the dinner table, which follows the Straw hats' classic menu: basically, the favorite dish of each one of the members. All of these, prepared by your sweet boyfriend and, also, the best cooker you've ever met, Sanji. 

 Luffy approaches the table, his mouth drooling for complete. Expectedly, he starts eating a piece of meat. When suddenly he asks with his mouth full, "Where's Sanji?" He's right. Sanji said he was quickly going to go to the room of you both about 45 minutes ago. You lean back and look up, wondering why Sanji is taking so long. Owing to that, you get up from your seat, "I'm gonna go call him."

 An anxiety awareness comes as you walk towards your room. You don't know why, but you are having an awful feeling about Sanji's absence; a quickened breath takes over your lungs. Perhaps this is due to his behavior since he arrived. Genuinely, you know that he is not well, and it worries the hell out of you.

 Even though it's also your room, you try to respect Sanji's privacy, considering that you don't know what he is doing inside there. 

 In reason of that, you knock on the door. No answer. You try it again. Still no answer. You do it five more times, and Sanji doesn't reply. 

 So you decide to come in.

  You gradually open the door as you murmur, "Sanji?" 

 You take slow steps on the wooden floor. Sanji is not in the main room, so you call on his name using a louder voice, "Sanji!". Suddenly, a noise comes from the bathroom. 

  You immediately head over there. Hence, a feeling of shock erodes your body as you see Sanji failing to try to hide a big bruise on his right shoulder. You can't stop looking at the wound as you put your hands over your mouth in shock. The wound is really bad. It looks like it was an extremely strong punch's blow or something like that. Apparently, the injury has been there for about a week, so it's not recent. That is, Sanji was hiding it from you. 

  Sanji freezes and stares at you with wide eyes and raised eyebrows, " Y/N-chan..." His voice, a stuttering timbre. "Why didn't you tell me?" You ask him as you crease your brow and twist your mouth, trying to think of a logical reason that explains why he'd done that.

  Sanji is simply shocked. He presses his fingers firmly against the palm of his hand. As if he is holding on to the urge to do something he doesn't want at all. Unexpectedly, his eyes flood with tears. Sanji was holding back the urge to cry. Cry in front of you.

 "No, don't cry!! I hate it when you cry!!" You give him the saddest look you've ever had. He's paralyzed from head to toe. The only movement you see as you look at him is the tears running down his cheeks. 

 "Sanji!!!!" You shout to him while you fight back the craving to cry. Hands lead to your forehead as you feel your bloodstream on fire. Sanji is not saying a thing. He is doing nothing but cries and staring at you while he does so. "God...This is breaking my heart." Your voice is in a whiney tone, implying an inevitable shedding of tears. Then, eventually, your eyes well up.

  "J-just talk to me...Please." You beg. Sanji shakes his head slightly as if he is trying to take a kind of stupor away. He glances at you with a fake smile, "I'm sorry for not telling you." He wipes his tears with his left hand, "I don't know why I cried." Sanji artificially chuckles, "I'm okay."

 The cooker is lying to you again, so you confront him, "Stop telling me you're okay!!!!!" You exclaim. Sanji looks surprised at you. Then you add, "I'm not leaving until you tell me what's wrong." And when he opens his mouth to answer you, you interrupt him, "And don't try lying to me again." You give him a severe look.

  A bleak silence takes over the bathroom for about 10 seconds. Sanji keeps staring at you, hesitating to speak the truth.

  But then, he decides to blow off steam to you. "I got hurt in a fight." He looks down, avoiding your glance, "I didn't wanna you to think..." A line appears between your brows. "To think I'm weak." He looks back at you, "Damn it! How pathetic am I for crying like a baby in front of you??!" Sanji sighs as he palms his forehead.

  You give Sanji a once-over, "Sanji!!!". He wide-eyed stares at you, "Why would you think that??" You can't help but be nervous, "I can't..." You cross your arms, "I can't just sit by and do nothing when obviously you're suffering." Further, Sanji is hesitating again. He lights a cigarette as a down look fills his face. When, finally, he confesses, "My family... used to treat me like..." Sanji blows a cigarette smoke, "... like a failure because they thought I wasn't strong enough."  Sanji admits as he squeezes his eyes shut, fighting back his tears. "I don't wanna you to think I'm a failure and to doubt my strength as they did." He adds, "That's why I hid my injuries from you." Sanji quivers his lips as you gradually approach him.

 "Sanji..." you mumble his name while you walk towards him. He opens his tearful eyes and gazes at you. When, suddenly, you hug him like you're never going to let him go, "I'd never, under any circumstances..." You look up, trying to maintain eye contact with him, "...Think of you as a failure." You smile with your eyes and mouth at him. 

 Sanji is shaken. Now he's crying again. But with joy. He can't stop smiling and crying at the same time. He holds you even more tightly in his arms; even though it is painful for his injured shoulder, he doesn't care. It's like he's anesthetized at the moment. 

 "Mmm...You're warm." He says.

  The words you just said ended up comforting Sanji's traumatized and troubled soul.  "Now, let me treat your injury properly." You ask him with a grin.

 Later, you're sitting on the edge of the bed with Sanji as you bandage his injured shoulder. When, suddenly, you stop bandaging and then, you kiss it, "If I could..." You say as you look at Sanji's profile face, "I'd kiss away all of your scars." Lovingly, you smile at him. At last, Sanji looks back at you. 

  A pleasant silence fills the room as he presses his forehead against yours, "I love you." Sanji whispers.

[its5amandimstillawake]

Ok so this may seem random but I just binge watched bobs burger, all 10 seasons of it. And I had always heard it was like American Dad or family guy, hell when I googled "what to watch if you liked Bob's burgers" or looked for shows similar American Dad and family guy came up. Now I hated family guy and American Dad growing up, my dad watched it and I just never enjoyed it. But I watched a compilation on YouTube of Bob's burgers and it seemed decent so I decided to give it a shot and im glad I did. Unlike American Dad or family guy, two shows that have the goal to offend people, and who's humor heavily relies on steriotype or references, Bob's burgers doesn't feel dated, doesn't rely on steriotype, it bases it's humor on putting these likeable character that you love into different scenarios and having them reacting to the world around them. And unlike a lot of shows, like I said watched all 10 seasons and it never really got repetitive or boring or annoying I honestly enjoyed every episode, every episode felt new and fresh, even if the idea has been done before. Now there are several things I enjoy about Bob's burgers and I just kind of felt like talking about it so

First, they all, not only love eachother, but also actually like eachother. Now I feel like a lot of people don't quite get what I mean by that. I personally love my mom, I do not like her, I don't like the way she thinks or acts, I always say that If I had met her at school or at work or something and was not related to her I wouldn't like her. I've seen many siblings who love eachother, they'll defend eachother and take care of eachother but for the most part avoid eachother especially if they're at the same school, they don't go out of their way to talk or hang out with eachother. This family all seem to actually like eachother though.

Which leads me to my next point. The Belcher siblings are personally my favorite part of the show, I was actually confused when I first started seeing them all together, because most shows seem to have that sibling relationship of love but not like, and while that's fine and can be realistic, I don't very often see a show that shows a good healthy sibling relationship of siblings actually liking eachother which can also be realistic and is a good thing to teach kids. The Belcher siblings are great, they of course defend eachother and take care of eachother but they're also friends. They walk together in between classes, theyre all in the same friend group, they go out of their way to hang out with eachother and play togetherand have fun together, they eat lunch together and scheme together. Of course they also spend time by themselves and will hang out with their mutual friends without their siblings and have friends outside of the mutual friend group, and of course they get into arguments and disagree with eachother a lot, what siblings don't? But for the most part they get along very well. You won't see any of them embarrassed to be seen with their younger siblings in or out of school, even Tina, the teenager of the group who's going through a lot for the typical teen problems including being embarrassed often and caring a lot about what others in her grade think, will hang out with her little brother and sister, and take part in their mischief, and eat lunch with them and doesn't have a problem with it.

The kids aren't the only one with a uniquely healthy relationship when it comes to these types of shows, we also have their parents, Bob and Linda. Bob isn't the steriotypicaltypical husband that's often portrayed in these types of shows, Bob isn't the husband that complains about how his wife is always nagging or jokes about how being married is awful. Linda isn't the steriotypicaltypical wife, Linda doesn't complain about how her husband can't take care of himself, or seem disgusted by her husband or seem exasperated by the kind of person her husband is. Strangely enough they seem to actually love eachother, and support and encourage eachother and care about eachother and enjoy spending time together and enjoy working together. They enjoy making small fun competitions with eachother and having fun and laughing together. They seem to bring out the best of eachother. And yes they aren't exactly in their honeymoon phase, and may not have that "spark" they first had when they first got together, and they're not exactly the pinnacle of romance, they are however a good representation of a happily married couple who genuinely love and like eachother and have been married for years. And of course they each have their flaws and they have their disagreements and arguments but who doesn't?

And the Belcher kids love and like their parents as well and enjoy being with them and involve them in their antics as well.

And they love and like their kids as well. And given each of the children it would be expected in a show like this for one or two of the children to be considered "disappointments" or "not as good as the favorite child" there's usually a kid who's clearly the favorite and one or more kids who's looked down upon by the parents and everyone else in shows like these, however Bob and Linda genuinely love and are very proud of each of their kids and they both have good relationships with all of their kids. Even in the episode where they spent the entire time showing just how much of a screw up gene was, Bob took gene aside and said that while gene could get distracted and could mess up at times that he was still very proud of him and loved him.

Bob and Linda support their kids in everything they do, even in the episode where gene got interested in "table setting" and got into a competition and his parents didn't quite understand it or understood why someone would enjoy it they still helped and encouraged him and expressed how proud they were that he found something he enjoyed doing.

It's a very healthy family and it's enjoyable to watch.

The show itself, although it has 10 seasons, doesn't ever get annoying or repetitive, every episode seems fresh, like I said binge watched the entire show and was actually pretty sad when I got the final episode and realized I was done and couldn't watch anymore, although the first season was great it got better over time, and personally I thought each season was better then the last.

I like that all the characters seem realistic, their was several episodes with the Belcher kids where I could imagine my younger self and my friends and brother doing similar things. And like I said the parents though loving also seemed like a realistic couple that have been married for years.

I also liked the consitancy. A lot of characters over time will become an exaggerated version of their former selves. For example a character like Patrick star or homer Simpson or Cosmo from fairly odd parents, who start off the show kind of dumb and clueless but not annoyingly so and are still enjoyable, over time will become so damn moronic that you wonder how they've managed to go this long without accidentally killing themselves and it becomes annoying and frustrating and they're no longer likeable.

None of the characters in this show have a character flaw that becomes so extreme they become unlikable, in fact all of the characters in the belcher family are likeable, and stay consistent, thats the point, you want to see them go through these things and want to see them win and come out on top because of how likeable they are. Louise is mischief, she's a prankster, but it's never to the point where she's unlikeable, she's still a good kid who usually doesn't go to far and when she does shes quick to see her mistake, apologize, and try to make it right, if anything a lot of times her pranks are to help defend other people or "bring justice" to people who have been wronged.

She may be a bit extreme but she's still a good kid and you want to see her come out on top. Gene can be loud and extreme and not really get hints, but he wants to befriend people and wants to help people, even though he can be gullible and a bit clueless and as a result can easily get roped into stuff, he tries to help people and make things right when he sees things going south, he's a sweet kid.

And Tina can be innapropriate, and can be selfish at times and not always see the big picture, but like gene and Louise when she sees that she's messed up she immediately tries to fix it and make things right, she has a stronger moral compass then either of her siblings and usually the voice of reason and helps people out whatever situation they're in, including her siblings who can often end up in some pretty bad situations, and is willing to take the fall for the sake of others.

Bob can by cynical, and a bit extreme about things he cares about (work, turkeys, Thanksgiving in general) and when he gets extreme he won't think things all the way through he'll just react, but he means well, he cares about his family and will put aside his obsessions for his family and is willing to sacrifice those things for his family. Hell one of the things hes obsessed with is Thanksgiving, he will make sure everything goes PERFECTLY and will get very upset if they're not perfect and will go crazy trying to make it perfect, but the reason Thanksgiving is his favorite holiday and the reason he cares so much is because of his love for his family and because Thanksgiving to him is being with your family. And even he is willing to sacrifice his Thanksgiving to be there for his friend, teddy, who's alone and without his family.

Linda can also be extreme and not think things all the way through but like bob, she means well, the times she gets extreme is typically when it involves her family and trying to do everything in her power to make them happy, and to do what she considers the morally right thing to do, even if it means going a little crazy and taking things a bit to far while doing so. I think a good example of this was when Louise got in trouble at school for causing problems, she was causing problems because a couple of kids were picking on a smaller kid and she was attempting to defend the kid, Linda thinks it's morally wrong to punish Louise for defending a kid and breaks Louis out of detention from the window (also breaking the school's AC in the process) to get her some ice cream all while having to avoid mr.frond, the school counselor who's around the same area. It's a good example of how it makes for a funny episode and flawed characters because of how extreme they can get but how they're motivation and reasonings makes them likeable and makes you root for them.

Anyway. I know this is kind of random it just kind of bothered me that I don't really see bobs burgers being talked about very often and I see it being compared to American Dad and family guy when, from what I've seen of the two shows, it's not really similar at all

[serenityseventeen]

Love & Letter: To The Thirteen Boys I've Loved Before

The Fifth Letter

----------------

To: Kwon Soonyoung

From: Y/N

Hello, Soonyoung.

It hasn't been long since we've known each other. I know that now, after the semester of Junior year ends, we won't be able to see each other. The only way I was able to see you was because we took a performing arts class together this semester. Next semester, after winter break, I'm taking music.

I want to tell you this but even now, during winter break, I'm still not sure. Maybe if we had more time to spend together, I would have the courage to talk to you and develop a better relationship with you. I'm not sure if you know, but I think I liked you. Or, I admired you at least.

Soonyoung, you may be the craziest boy I've ever seen in my life. When I took performing arts with you, you were timid at first, which I found cute. Now, you have no trouble talking to me at all. I realized that once you talk to a person once, you can talk to them a million times again. Thank you for talking with me.

You're cool. Whenever someone in the class feels discouraged because the teacher is being strict, you always remind them that it's fine and you nicely correct them. That happened to me too. I know that I'm probably not that good at dancing but because of your help, I could find the difference of very small details like which angle I'm facing, the angle of my hands, all that. You're sharp and concise when it comes to dancing and that makes you cool.

I appreciate you for helping me dance. I'm quite a hard worker so whenever I couldn't get something right, I would keep practicing. Everyone would be resting at the side when it was time to rest, but I couldn't rest unless I perfected a move. Thank you for always dancing with me. I know you're always tired after dancing but you manage to make it seem as if you're always full of energy and sometimes, you really are filled with energy.

I think the reason for falling for you was because of your personality and how you took care of everyone. You were a kind guy that wasn't afraid to stand up for other people. My heart especially fluttered when I saw you asking the teacher to stop yelling at the students for not getting the moves right. I like you a lot and respect you too, Soonyoung.

I also really liked how you danced. I still remember that first time our teacher put on some random music and asked us individually to freestyle. Almost everyone didn't know what to do so we just moved our bodies. I'm pretty sure I looked like a complete idiot while freestyling at first, right?

Well, compared to you, all of us seemed like complete noobs. The way you read the music and moved your body to the beat and rhythm of the song you heard for the first time was mesmerizing. Whenever I think about it, my jaw always drops. You were so cool and my heart was racing. Your hand movements were sharp and the amount of body control you had was truly amazing, Soonyoung.

That's the true reason why I wanted you to teach me to dance. That's the true reason why I asked you to watch my freestyle. I admired you so much, Soonyoung. I really respected you and your dancing. I felt so inspired by it.

I just know it, that day when I walked up to you in the classroom, fumbling with my hands, I must've looked like a complete weirdo, right? Since we didn't talk much, I didn't expect you to remember my name. I don't know if you saw me blushing, but I was.

“I have a request... Can you watch my freestyle?”

Your flustered expression was really cute. Your eyes widened a little and I think I saw your ears turn pink too. You went like “hm?”

When you watched my freestyle, I'm sure you were disgusted, but I'm thankful that you didn't walk say because it probably looked as if I had no potential to be a dancer (yes, this made me fall for you as well). You helped me learn to read beats and continued to tell me which parts of my freestyle were good. You taught me a lot of things regarding freestyle and quickly, I was able to find my style and improve overall as a dancer.

You also started recording me dance. I was shy at first, but I'm thankful you did it. I don't know if you still have the videos on your phone because we don't communicate outside of school, but I hope you don't have the ones when I was still beginning to freestyle!!! Gosh, it's like haunting me just thinking that you still have the videos!!!

I also want to thank you for this hehe... During the days when we were given free time to dance, talk, and practice, I saw you dancing to SHINEE. I want to thank you for that. I was just practicing my freestyle but then you invited me to learn a dance by SHINEE. When I first saw their dance, I was immediately hooked. You then taught me slowly, step by step, for the days when we had break time. Now I know so many SHINEE dances that I've begun learning to dance to different kpop songs in my room.

All this time, I've just been talking about how kind, caring, and cool you are because that's what I thought of you. You were so cool, Soonyoung. I admired you but I also know that I liked you. To me, you felt like a friend but at the same, it seemed like weren't close enough to be that. We were hovering in the middle of classmates and friends.

I'm pretty sure that you don't think of me the same way I think of you. To you, I'm probably like a pupil. We got along well though. I got to see your cool side through dancing and you also had a shy side too. When you finish performing your freestyle and realize everyone's looking at you in awe, you get so shy. I don't know but I find that so cute.

It was a bit of a pity that I only saw you once every few days a week. I wanted to see you more often and possibly, we could have been dancing buddies too. I've learned to love dance because of you. If only... Sadly, we aren't in the same classes this semester. I sort of predicted it.

The school is pretty big so seeing you isn't easy. Plus, aside from learning dances together and caring for each other as classmates, we didn't have anything special, did we? I mean, whenever you moved my arms while behind me, I'm pretty sure that I was the only one who had my heart racing. Seriously, you shouldn't do that to people! I don't think you're aware of how attractive you are, Soonyoung.

Each time you hover behind me and take my hands or stand behind me to help me adjust my arm's position, I always get flushed with butterflies. Like, you could do it from the front, but the back brings you so much closer to me that I get so flustered. Every. Single. Time.

You're close enough for me to smell your scent, hear your breath, and feel your breath on my neck. It's extremely ticklish too. Do you know that I like you!?

I find it to be a pity that we didn't have any classes together aside from the dance class. If we did, maybe we would have gotten a bit closer to each other. I don't only want romantic relationships that's not even my goal with you. I want to be your friend and dance buddy but we still aren't close enough for that, are we?

So, if I ever happen to bump into you again whether it's in the hallways or by pure coincidence, I don't think I'd be able to say something to you. Sorry, Soonyoung, I'm a coward. I'm constantly driven by the negative thoughts and the possibility that you don't think of me as a friend or dancing buddy but just someone who learned a dance from you. I'm still extremely grateful to you though and I won't care if your true intentions for teaching me were to train yourself. I still like you a lot even though I'm sure it'll fade.

To me, you don't seem like a bad person. You seemed to always be passionate and genuine about dancing. You're kind too. I liked you a lot because you were genuine, passionate, bright, and kind. You were cool, inspiring, and showed me so many new things.

I know this letter to you had mainly just been contaminated with me telling you how grateful I am toward you, but trust me, this is a love letter to you. I did like you. I liked you because you showed me new things and because of all your other qualities. I don't know, I'm a confusing fool.

In the end, we are probably just like strangers to each other, but that's okay. We only spent a semester together, meeting twice a week, so knowing you would have been equal to not enough time anyway. Because I'm sure you probably don't like me the same way I like you, I can rest assured in my head that this letter would just make you proud of yourself. Of course, you should be proud of yourself.

I'm glad that I met you even if it was just for a little while.

Time is seemingly hating me but I can end this letter off with a smile.

Sincerely,

Y/N

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© serenityseventeen

6/20/21 - 7:10 pm

a/n: I'm going to post this love & letter series to my Wattpad as a separate book instead of in my seventeen imagines book. + I went down day6 memory lane and started listening to their songs again... I love them so much too + I'm excited for even of day comeback!!!