#because sirius doing very well on all his exams in school while not seeming to be in the library much definitely suggests he was

[acrossfromladystardust]

i thought this was generally agreed on by now but apparently not:

sirius was more naturally smart, remus was more passionate about learning

[novvabee]

could you write about the mauraders when they go to the shrieking shack for the full moon and there’s another werewolf? Idk something like that

ooooo, this gave me a really fun idea, hope you enjoy 💗

The Deer, The Dog, And The Two Wolves

summary: remus meets another wolf

word count: 2.3k

“I mean, did you see her? Talk about fit!” Sirius laughed, walking through the portrait into their common room. He was talking about the new girl, the girl who had started halfway through the semester.

Poor girl was paraded in front of the whole school for her sorting. She was obviously embarrassed and uncomfortable to be the center of the whole school’s attention.

“Too bad she was sorted into Slytherin,” Sirius said as he threw himself across a sofa in the middle of the common room, “I would have liked to get to know her.” This made Lily and Mary scoff from the opposite couch in front of the fireplace.

“Why’s she starting in the middle of the semester?” James asked.

“Maybe she just moved here.” Lily supplied.

“Lucky her,” James said, “she just missed midterm exams.” Everyone chuckled at that.

While everyone was conversing and laughing, Remus had dread looming over him. His muscles began to ache and he could feel the effects of the approaching full moon. The moon would be tomorrow night, but Remus had been feeling it all week. After a while of chatting, all he wanted to do was crawl into bed. 

“I am quite tired,” Remus said, standing and motioning for the boys to follow. “I’ll see you guys tomorrow?”

“Yeah! Just meet us in hogsmeade.” Mary says.

Remus nods, the other boys say their goodnights and they all make their way up to their room. As soon as the door was shut behind them, Remus was falling into bed.

“What is the plan for tomorrow?” James asked, they usually had no trouble sneaking out and waiting in the shrieking shack for Remus, but this time, the girls insisted the boys come with them to hogsmeade for the day. Only Lily knew about Remus, so sneaking away was going to be harder than normal.

“I was thinking I could cut away from the group with Remus and we could head to the shack while you help Lily distract the others.” Sirius said, having planned that out fairly quickly. “That sound alright?” he asked Remus.

Remus was too tired, too weary to answer vocally so he just nodded. The boys looked at him with pity, they knew how he was feeling, so they just opted to let him sleep.

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

The day spent in Hogsmeade was lovely, despite the pain and tenseness that Remus felt, he still enjoyed himself.

They made their way from shop to shop, buying candies from Honeydukes and gadgets from Zonkos. The girls begged to stop by Gladrags and the boys reluctantly agreed.

“Fine,” James said, rolling his eyes, “but only because I need a new tie.”

The group piled into the shop, the girls immediately rushing towards the new dresses and coats, Remus and Sirius turned to browse the rings and necklaces. 

Remus felt… odd. He felt the hairs on his neck stand and a chill run down his spine, immediately set on edge. He had never felt this before, a new experience for him. He put himself on high alert, scanning the shop, but seeing or sensing nothing out of the ordinary, just that unfamiliar tingle.

“Dear Merlin,” Sirius muttered from beside him. Remus followed his gaze across the shop to see Regulus. It seemed like the brothers noticed each other at the same time, because Regulus turned to his group of friends, and they swiftly exited.

“Still in a spat?” Remus asked Sirius.

Sirius huffed and replied “I don’t wanna talk about it.”

Remus left it alone, seeing as the day was going very well, he didn’t want to ruin it in any way. 

James got his tie and the girls all bought different clothes and were ready to continue on. It was getting later in the day, the sun would set soon, so Remus wanted to finish the trip.

“Butterbeer, anyone?” he asked and the whole group perked up and started down the street towards The Three Broomsticks.

Remus opened the door for the group, allowing everyone in, before stepping in himself. Once inside, that grating feeling was back. He looked around again, but was met with the same outcome, there was nothing awry. Confused, he just figured the moon was messing with his senses.

The group found a table towards the back of the pub and they all squeezed in. Remus found himself sandwiched between Marlene and James. The whole bunch was lively as ever, laughing and joking, talking about everything and nothing at all.

The witch who ran the pub asked the table for their orders and James ordered butterbeers for the whole table. So typical of James, to order and pay for everyone, spend his fortune on his friends and a good time. 

Mary gasped from across the table, making everyone turn their attention to her. “Don't look now,” she said, “but that new girl is sitting with the Slytherins.” 

The whole table snapped their necks toward where Mary was looking.

“I said don’t look!” she squealed.

She was right, the new girl was sitting next to Dorcas and across from Regulus, looking like she was in a deep conversation with them. But, almost like she felt their eyes on her, she looked over to them. The whole group tried to turn and make it look like they weren’t just staring at her(it was so obvious), but she caught Remus’s eye before he could look away.

It was like she looked directly into his soul, and there was that feeling again. Remus could have sworn she sat up straighter, taken by surprise for some reason. She narrowed her eyes at him, looked him up and down, then returned to her conversation.

Odd… 

Their butterbeers arrived and Remus put the interaction aside, deciding to just enjoy the rest of the time he had with his friends. Once the group finished, Sirius casually yawned and turned to Remus. “Fancy a smoke?” he asked. Remus nodded and exited the pub with Sirius.

They began their journey to the shrieking shack, Remus feeling the nip in the air, but also that feeling. He took a cigarette out of his jacket pocket, handed one to Sirius, then lit them both. Perhaps a smoke would ease the odd sensation. Walking in comfortable silence, taking drags of their cigarettes, the boys eventually ended up at the shack.

Remus dropped the butt of his cigarette and snuffed it out with his shoe, Sirius taking one last drag, then doing the same.

“Now,” Sirius started, “James will meet up with us but it’s business as usual right?”

Remus nodded. “Yeah, just try to stay in the forest like normal.”

“Gotcha,” Sirius replied. “Gotta lock you in now, Moons.”

Remus opened the door to the shack and stepped inside. He pulled the door closed and heard Sirius mutter the spell to magically seal him in until he transformed, then one of them would open the door and they would spend the whole night racing and playing in the woods in their animal forms.

Remus didn’t enjoy a lot of his lycanthropy, but being able to run in an animalistic way with his best mates, that was one thing he did enjoy.

Remus made his way upstairs to the old, beaten up bedroom, and layed on the bed. He began waiting for the transformation. 

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

Something was off, Sirius could tell. He and James, who had broken away from the group finally, were sitting at the edge of the forest.

They heard Remus transforming, which was never easy, but this time it seemed that he was having a particularly rough time. James winced from beside Sirius and shook his head. Once they were certain he was fully changed, James magically unlocked the door.

They both transformed into their animagus form, but Remus didn’t come out. Sirius and James looked at each other and Sirius went inside to check on Remus, coax him out of the shack.

Sirius padded upstairs, expecting to see the wolf destroying something or clawing at the furniture, but he was met with a completely different scene entirely. The wolf was pacing around the room in a circle, sniffing the air and whining. When it saw the black dog that had entered, it perked up, but still looked around, as if looking for someone else.

The dog raced downstairs, goading the wolf to chase it. The wolf gave in easily and followed the dog down the stairs and out of the house where they were met with the large stag. The wolf tackled the deer, rolling and play-fighting until the wolf’s ears perked up. It snapped it’s head to the forest and bolted.

The dog and the deer had no chance to wrangle it before it slipped through the tree line and into the dark forest beyond. The dog and the deer looked at each other and then dashed after the wolf.

Sirius didn't understand what had gotten into the wolf, but raced as fast as he could to catch up.

That is when the howl came from deep in the forest. Everything stopped, the whole forest seeming to be silenced. Then the answering howl sounded.

The deer and the dog followed the sound to an opening in the forest, a small field with a large oak in the center. They expected to find Moony there, chasing something, but they were not expecting to see two wolves circling each other.

They hung back at the tree line, watching but ready to protect Remus if anything were to happen.

The other wolf was smaller, a female, but just as dangerous, still a werewolf.

The two wolves continued circling each other, tense. The smaller wolf noticed the dog and the stag at the forest’s edge, and growled, hackles raising. Moony stepped between her and his friends, protecting them, and growled deep back at her. The other wolf turned her attention to him now, focusing all her anger at him.

Moony wasn’t backing down, determined to protect the dog and the stag behind him. He clawed at her, catching her right under the eye. She wasted no time in returning the favor, and swiped right back at him, getting him good.

Moony, shocked, stepped back and sat down, like a dog asking for a treat. The other wolf blinked, then mirrored his actions. Moony pounced and ran off, the other wolf following, chasing.

They were playing. 

The dog and the deer looked at each other, then back to the two wolves, then joined in.

It was slightly harder, keeping track of two wolves rather than just the one, but at least they could rough-house with each other and not be too afraid to hurt the other, like Remus often was with Sirius or James.

The two wolves raced each other and swam in the lake, the whole group having fun, until Sirius noticed the morning light. Dawn would break soon and Remus would transform back, they needed to get him back to the shack. Moony, however, was being more difficult than normal. 

The moment Sirius and James tried to corral him and chase him back to the shack, Moony refused. He kept wandering over to the other wolf, trying to continue to play. So James and Sirius decided that both the wolves had to be wrangled into the shack, if that was the only way to get Remus back in.

That task was incredibly difficult, Moony bouncing all over the place and the other wolf threatening to snap at the boys if they got too close. They eventually managed to lock both the wolves in the shack with minimal damage.

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

Remus woke on the floor of the bedroom feeling more tired than he had ever been after a full moon. He felt like he could sleep for ages. His aching body needed all the rest it could get.

Small moments from the night came back to him and suddenly…

He snapped his head toward the bed to see a sleeping figure curled up in the old and torn blankets. That feeling tingled the back of his neck again. 

The figure sat straight up, feeling the same feeling. Remus knew that face, the new girl. She made direct eye contact with him, then quickly scanned the room, unsure of where she was.

He could see she was scared, so he calmly said “It’s ok, you’re ok.”

She looked at him unsure. “W-where are we?” she asked, voice a little raw.

“This is called the shrieking shack, it's where I come… to transform.” Remus answered, still trying to calm her and get her to trust him.

“You’re the wolf I was with last night?” she asked, more like putting the pieces together.

Remus nodded. “My name’s Remus.” He smiled.

“Y/N” she answered.

“Nice to meet you Y/N.” He said, noticing how she seemed to start relaxing.

“And… that dog and the deer?” she asked.

Remus chuckled, not knowing exactly how to answer that. “They’re harmless.”

She nodded and they sat in silence for a minute before she spoke again. “I didn’t know there were others… like me.” she said.

Remus didn’t know how to talk about this with anyone, he had never met another werewolf. All he could seem to do was nod.

“H-how long have you been… you know…” she asked timidly.

Remus smiled sadly. “‘I was bitten when I was really young, about three.” He answered.

Her eyes widened and she gasped. “Three!?” she looked in disbelief. “I am so sorry, you’ve had to deal with this for a long time…”she trailed off. “I was bitten a couple years ago. That's why I transferred schools, the other one kicked me out, thought that I was a danger to the other students.”

“I am so sorry,” this time it was Remus’s turn to feel bad.

She smiled sadly. “It’s ok, besides, now I know someone else like me.”

[forestdeath1]

Canon Sirius through quotes

Part 2. Intelligence and recklessness. Sirius Black (and James Potter, with a bit of Remus and Peter too)

Or who is the smartest of the Marauders?

Sirius and James are described multiple times as exceptionally intelligent. They didn’t need help from Remus or Lily to pass their exams. James didn’t envy Sirius for being ahead academically, and Sirius didn’t ask Remus for help. They could handle everything on their own.

For example, McGonagall rarely gives praise without good reason. Here are her words about James (often unfairly depicted as less intelligent than Sirius or Remus) and Sirius:

‘Precisely,’ said Professor McGonagall. ‘Black and Potter. Ringleaders of their little gang. Both very bright, of course – exceptionally bright, in fact – but I don’t think we’ve ever had such a pair of troublemakers –’

Being "exceptionally bright" is an extremely high praise for intellectual ability from McGonagall.

As for Peter, she speaks rather average of him:

‘Pettigrew... that fat little boy who was always tagging around after them at Hogwarts?’ said Madam Rosmerta. ‘Hero-worshipped Black and Potter,’ said Professor McGonagall. ‘Never quite in their league, talent-wise. I was often rather sharp with him. You can imagine how I – how I regret that now...’ She sounded as though she had a sudden head cold.

Moreover, Peter "was always hopeless at duelling," according to McGonagall. This means that over 7 years, Peter failed to impress McGonagall with his academic achievements. As the head of his house, she was aware of all his grades. Perhaps he was just an average student, but then it's unclear why McGonagall was "often rather sharp with him." She doesn't seem like the type to be sharp over trivial matters.

Slughorn:

‘Well, anyway, he (Sirius) was a big pal of your father’s at school. The whole Black family had been in my house, but Sirius ended up in Gryffindor! Shame – he was a talented boy. I got his brother Regulus when he came along, but I’d have liked the set.’

While Lupin’s words might be biased, he often speaks quite judiciously about people around him, thus:

"Look, Harry, what you’ve got to understand is that your father and Sirius were the best in the school at whatever they did – everyone thought they were the height of cool – if they sometimes got a bit carried away –"

He confirms that Sirius and James were the best at everything in school. Meaning academically first of all, because school is primarily about studying.

"It took them the best part of three years to work out how to do it. Your father and Sirius here were the cleverest students in the school, and lucky they were, because the Animagus transformation can go horribly wrong – one reason the Ministry keeps a close watch on those attempting to do it."

And a bit more praise from Lupin towards Sirius and James' giftedness. They were both gifted – Sirius and James.

Even Dumbledore acknowledges:

‘Sirius told me all about how they became Animagi last night,’ said Dumbledore, smiling. ‘An extraordinary achievement – not least, keeping it quiet from me.’

So, not only did they become Animagi (Peter wasn’t much help, according to Lupin), created the Marauder's Map, which contained very unusual magic (they, of course, all created the Map together, but based on the description above, I can assume that the main magical component of the map was the responsibility of James and Sirius), excelled in their studies, created a magical FaceTime – an artefact for communication among themselves, they also managed to keep a lot from the school's headmaster and other teachers. Intelligence plus cunning.

Sirius and James' reaction to others' "stupidity":

‘How thick are you, Wormtail?’ said James impatiently. ‘You run round with a werewolf once a month –’ 

‘Keep your voice down,’ implored Lupin. 

‘Well, I thought that paper was a piece of cake,’ he heard Sirius say. ‘I’ll be surprised if I don’t get “Outstanding” on it at least.’ 

‘Me too,’ said James.

Here, I don’t want to dwell on their rudeness, but rather on the reaction itself. Often Lupin is seen studying more than anyone (I too like to see him buried in books), but perhaps Lupin simply needed to study more to pass his exams. He buried himself in textbooks not because he was the smartest, but because it was necessary for him. Remus is clearly not dumb; he became a professor at Hogwarts, he’s also described as intelligent in the canon, but things came much easier to James and Sirius, and they were well aware of how smart they were. Hence their reaction. When a teenager is confident in their superiority, and their intellect is often validated by external factors (grades, teachers' praise), such a reaction from James and Sirius, considering their personalities, is quite expected for their still maturing characters.

‘We’ve still got Transfiguration, if you’re bored you could test me. Here...’ and he (Lupin) held out his book.

But Sirius snorted. ‘I don’t need to look at that rubbish, I know it all.’

Sirius' reaction is unequivocal. He doesn’t need to read anything like Lupin, memorising paragraphs. To him, it’s all "rubbish" that he already knows. Sirius likely had a very good long-term memory.

Sirius' memory and attention to detail even after 12 years in Azkaban are also quite remarkable.

"Congratulations on getting past the Horntail, whoever put your name in that Goblet shouldn’t be feeling too happy right now! I was going to suggest a Conjunctivitis curse, as a dragon’s eyes are its weakest point –"

‘That’s what Krum did!’ Hermione whispered.

Clearly, during his 12 years in Azkaban, he didn’t need this knowledge. It’s unlikely he ever used this knowledge in practice. But he remembered it, ready to mention it right away, not having peeked in any books. Even Hermione didn’t know.

‘My God,’ said Lupin softly, staring from Scabbers to the picture in the paper and back again.

‘His front paw...’

‘What about it?’ said Ron defiantly.

‘He’s got a toe missing,’ said Black.

And this is about his attentiveness. To notice that a rat is missing a toe from a small photograph while sitting in Azkaban… I wouldn’t have noticed even without Azkaban.

As for adult Sirius, the fourth book shows many of Sirius' reasonable assumptions that eventually are confirmed. What people mistake for stupidity is his recklessness, as well as his willingness to die for those he loves, to protect them at any cost. His recklessness is usually related to this.

‘The Ministry’s forced through another decree, which means we’re not allowed to have Quidditch teams –’

‘Or secret Defence Against the Dark Arts groups?’ said Sirius. There was a short pause.

‘How did you know about that?’ Harry demanded.

‘You want to choose your meeting places more carefully,’ said Sirius, grinning even more broadly.

‘The Hog’s Head, I ask you.’

‘Well, it was better than the Three Broomsticks!’ said Hermione defensively. ‘That’s always packed with people –’

‘Which means you’d have been harder to overhear,’ said Sirius. ‘You’ve got a lot to learn, Hermione.’

Hermione is very smart, but Sirius immediately explains their tactical mistake. But it still sounds somewhat condescending.

‘But, Sirius, this is taking an awful risk –’ Hermione began.

‘You sound like Molly,’ said Sirius. ‘This was the only way I could come up with answering Harry’s letter without resorting to a code – and codes are breakable.’

It might seem reckless, but he's right, codes can be cracked. And he really wanted to reply to his godson – it's more about his inability to refuse the only living person he loves now and his desire to protect him.

Sirius repeatedly makes correct deductions in the fourth book, here are a couple of examples, but generally, the fourth book is full of rational remarks, assumptions, and overall, he's ready to provide Harry with information, especially in the fifth book, when Harry is having the toughest time and most people simply refuse to tell him anything.

‘Yeah, and Dumbledore said it happened whenever Voldemort was feeling a powerful emotion,’ said Harry, ignoring, as usual, Ron and Hermione’s winces. ‘So maybe he was just, I dunno, really angry or something the night I had that detention.’

‘Well, now he’s back it’s bound to hurt more often,’ said Sirius.

‘So you don’t think it had anything to do with Umbridge touching me when I was in detention with her?’ Harry asked.

‘I doubt it,’ said Sirius. ‘I know her by reputation and I’m sure she’s no Death Eater –’

‘Now, I’ve been keeping an eye on the Daily Prophet, Harry –’

‘You and the rest of the world,’ said Harry bitterly.

‘– and, reading between the lines of that Skeeter woman’s article last month, Moody was attacked the night before he started at Hogwarts. Yes, I know she says it was another false alarm,’ Sirius said hastily, seeing Harry about to speak, ‘but I don’t think so, somehow. I think someone tried to stop him getting to Hogwarts. I think someone knew their job would be a lot more difficult with him around. And no one’s going to look into it too closely, Mad-Eye’s heard intruders a bit too often. But that doesn’t mean he can’t still spot the real thing. Moody was the best Auror the Ministry ever had.’

And much more.

For Harry in the fourth and fifth books, Sirius became the one who supported him and provided information, and all his attempts to break through to Harry, risking being caught – this is an expression of love and desire to help his godson. It's precisely in such moments that his recklessness is revealed – when he wants to help.

Moreover Sirius often gives Harry good advice, there is just one example:

‘Don’t lose your temper,’ said Sirius abruptly. ‘Be polite and stick to the facts.’

‘Good luck,’ said Lupin.

‘I’m sure it will be fine.’ ‘And if it’s not,’ said Sirius grimly, ‘I’ll see to Amelia Bones for you...’

Here's the interweaving of Sirius' rationality and recklessness. He knows the right way. But he himself is ready to throw himself into the line of fire. He never gave Harry impulsive advice. But when it comes to himself or when someone needs protecting, Sirius has a different standard of normalcy.

In conclusion, throughout the series, Sirius makes a number of insightful remarks, and his intelligence and giftedness are exceptionally highly regarded by Dumbledore, McGonagall, and Lupin. I wouldn’t attribute his pathological desire to help those he loves to stupidity. Furthermore, adult Sirius shows recklessness mainly when it concerns his own safety and life — he doesn't cherish his own life if it means the well-being of someone he loves, thus he readily throws himself into danger.

Sirius was a brave, clever and energetic man, and such men are not usually content to sit at home in hiding while they believe others to be in danger. (Dumbledore)

[thedoewitch]

THE TRUTH ABOUT HARRY POTTER CHARACTERS

In the last few weeks, I've seen many arguments between the stans of different characters in the HP Fandom. And this, this exact post is about my opinion, mixed with canon (books) and how they normally should have been perceived.

This is part one of the series explaining the characters in the Harry Potter Universe. It will be long, seeing as many are hateful towards characters who did nothing wrong, or love them for all the wrong reasons.

Two big arguments will be explained in this post. Two biggest arguments about Anti-Character vs Pro-Character.

Anti-Dumbledore vs Pro-Dumbledore;

Now, there are many people who are on the anti-Dumbledore side of the fandom, and I can understand why. It is not a surprise, considering what has been done by Dumbledore in the series.

However, Albus is one of the many-layered characters. He was a Blood Supremacist throughout his life, even as an adult, until his sister Ariana Dumbledore died.

He is, like many others, a flawed character, just like us real humans are. He was in love with Gellert Grindelwald (Which he has no fault in, you cannıot control who you fall in love with), and was willing to take the world under their control just because Gellert wanted to.

In the Marauders and Lightening Era timeline, he did many horrible things. He went as far as using Fudge to gain things to his favor, he used Severus and Harry, and even Remus and Sirius and Rubeus (Hagrid) as the events unfolded, and he even neglected other students while trying to control everything that he can, even though he is a HEADMASTER, a person who s supposed to keep the school's students safe. And the fact that he left Harry in the Dursleys' footsteps and not checking on him properly was disturbing, no matter if Arabella Figgs was there. He didn't care to check up properly.

He did all of that, yes. There is no arguing about it, it is in The Fantastic Beast, in the Harry Potter books, in the Secrets of Dumbledore, in the Crimes of Grindelwald. He did all of those things that nowadays seem impossible to do.

But- He also did good things. He accepted Remus into the school, albeit it was stupid of him to do so with only a place he can transform that he can break free easily if not strictly controlled. He accepted him because he wanted people like him to have a chance.

We even see another werewolf student in the game called Hogwarts Mystery, which I liked and enjoyed. He is not prejudiced against them, and it makes their life easier.

He gave Harry and other students support throughout their life at Hogwarts. It excluded Slytherins, sadly, but he did try to be a good role model and also tried to relieve the students from stress by doing things like canceling the exams and even saying seemingly ridiculous words during the meals. He was truly afraid that Ginny was taken into the chamber, it is obvious in the CoS book when Lucius paid a visit to Albus.

He supported the adults like Alastor and Kingsley and Tonks, warned Sirius and the like against doing things that could be dangerous for their lives. He did care about them. Even, I'm sure, Marlene and Dorcas had a place in his heart because he does everything to help them win the war and live in peace.

Anti-Snape vs Pro Snape;

Severus Snape, like Albus, is a many-layered character. He is defensive and strict and is a bully throughout his adulthood. He is brave and courageous, stubborn and selfless.

Snape is not dark or light. He is not black or white. He is a Morally-Grey character through and through. There is no arguing against that.

Severus as a kid has done nothing wrong. The argument of him being obsessed with Lily when he was NINE is a very wrong thing to say. He was, as explained in the Pottermore likely abused by his father who was a drunkard, and from the writing in the books, his mother was likely neglectful as well. A kid who has gone through that will not have good social skills, or know how to talk to anyone politely. The fact that he is living in a dark neighborhood is probably an aspect of this as well.

He used accidental magic on Petunia, and he had no fault in it just like Harry had no fault when he deflated his aunt. Petunia insulted his mother, just like Marge insulted Lily. He had no control over his emotions, and thus, the accidental magic is not him being a hater.

During the train ride, all he said was he wanted to be in Slytherin. Why? Who knows, maybe his mother was sorted there and he wanted to feel closer to her. James and Sirius immediately attacked him with their words after that. Again, he is a kid. An 11 years old kid. He did not have a fault in that.

During his years at Hogwarts, he faced many more of the Marauder's bullying. And, yes, it was bullying, J.K Rowling said it, in the books even Harry thinks it is bullying, and Sirius accepts that fairly easily.

In his fifth year at Hogwarts, he is a fifteen-year-old and Sirius is 16 years old, Sirius sent him down the Willow Tree in the full moon. Why? Of that, I have a few theories but we don't know if any of them are true. He sent him down there on a FULL MOON, where Remus transformed, wanting to get a laugh of it.

He was almost killed, but saved by his enemy James Potter at the last second. He was forced to keep shut about this, which definitely added to his many traumas throughout his life. He was punished while he was the definite victim in this situation, along with Remus who was used by his best friend.

After this werewolf prank, it is obvious that the bullying got worse. It is probably because the Marauders had to do something to not let their friendship crumble, and blaming the whole situation on the victim, who is someone they hate or at the very least dislike seemed a good idea in their eyes. And thus, Snape's Worst Memory happened.

Lily and Severus' relationship was already falling apart by the fifth year. After the prank, they confronted each other and talked about the things they witnessed.

It is very disturbing how Severus did not care that Mulciber and Avery used dark magic on an innocent Gryffindor called Mary MacDonald. However, he also points out that the Marauders used a hex to grow Bertham Abrey's, a Slytherin's head grow his head twice its size. It is not Dark Magic, but clearly illegal. This hows that Marauders bullied everyone they could from Slytherin, and Sirius even admitted that himself.

Both of them are set in their ways. Lily doesn't acknowledge that Severus has to spend time with the Slytherins as he is a Slytherin himself. And Severus doesn't acknowledge that using Dark Magic to harm others is disturbing when others use Light Spells to hurt others instead, not realizing that both of them are wrong.

In SWM Lily definitely doesn't do everything she can do, along with Remus. They both are prefects but Remus stood back, and Lily only confronted the Marauders, not bothering to inform a professor at the very least.

Severus was very wrong in saying Mudblood to Lily. Sure, he was under a lot of stress, and he is a Half-Blood so the term also applies to him, but it was the last damage to crumble the wall of friendship the two had between them. But he did not deserve to get his trousers to get taken down and get threatened to be stripped completely. That was sexual assault, and no one deserves that.

After all of that, he apologized and left Lily alone. He was not obsessed with her. I'm sorry, but no one is saying that you cannot love a person who is in another relationship. It is not a crime, and he didn't even tell Lily about his feelings. (And I do not believe that 'feelings' were romantic. It was most definitely platonic, It is written like one, and the strong lesson the HP Series has is the power of Love.)

He went Dark after graduating, but when he discovered that he was going to be the cause of his ex-best friend's death he deflected quickly. I do not understand how people find this creepy. Regulus 'deflected' (not fully) for Kreacher, Narcissa, and Lucius for Draco and Albus for Ariana.

He agreed to be a spy for Albus and took a Vow to completely submit himself to a cause he had not yet believed completely in. After Lily's death, his life was devoted to protecting Harry.

He was a bully during his adult years. Now, it is mostly because traumatized people act mature, but their mentality goes backward, and the proper age of becoming fully mature comes later on. With his state, it would be at the very earliest when he was 53 that he would be fully mature, but it is also because he cannot let go of the past and heal from it.

He treated Harry and Neville horribly when not in class. And in class, he was strict with everyone. Even the others were the victim of his bad attitude.

However, no matter how mean he wanted his students to be safe. He protected Harry because of the Vow, that is true, however, he also protected and attempted to protect every other student, like the time he was worried for Ginny when he was taken into the Chamber.

He was a shitty person with a shitty backstory. He had no control over his emotions when he was with Harry, and bullied him because of his looks leaning towards James. It was not acceptable, and he was most definitely a bully, but he was not an abuser.

He despised physical punishments and refrained from physically attacking others, and the only exception was when Harry invaded his privacy when he looked into the pensieve.

He truly believed in the reasoning of the Light after all those years under the Vow. When it was clear that Harry was going to die no matter what he did, he did not go off to Voldemort to give him the secrets Dumbledore told him, no, he tried to protect his students and aided Harry secretly to destroy the Hocruxes.

He died a hero. Without him, the first Wizarding War would be won by Voldemort and everyone would be at Riddle's service to torture or kill or use. If he was loyal to Voldemort, the Battle of Hogwarts would end up with Voldemort truly killing Harry, and the whole fate was on his shoulders.

He is the bravest man throughout the series. He is a Hero, He is an Anti-Hero, he is an awesome spy, he is a bully, he is bitter, he is selfless, he is stubborn, he is loyal, and he is many more combined together.

He is not a villain, and he is not an evil reincarnate of a Nazi. He is a good person with bad doings. He is not innocent but he definitely deserved to be both praised and put down for all of the things he did.

[endversewinchester]

Proof that HP isn’t Brazilian because I would have told her to [BLEEP]. She would want to torture me with the pen but I would straight up threaten to tell my parents, the paper, Luna’s dad’s paper.

I would make her regret implying I was siding with the guy that killed my parents (love you, Siri) and that would be on the papers too. You want to be a clown, Dodo? I’ll bring the whole circus to town.

Like this? It would not hold up. You want the wizarding world to think I’m insane? Then they’re going to think it right back at you because why is a ministry official implying I’m hanging out with the guy that got my parents killed? Nevermind that it was happening at school under her nose too. I’m telling you. Harry didn’t inherit all of the sass he should have.

Now let’s go with a bit of marauders characterization. And then I’ll make a different post for the cursed scene. First, Harry being able to see how much like his dad he really looks (except for the eyes) is very sweet. Let me say that.

And then we have James kinda bored by his exams. As these are the most important exams they have on fifth year, that does talk a bit about personality.

Messing with his hair to try to look cooler than he is kinda breaks with the whole “big ego” thing. He wouldn’t be trying to look cool if he thought he naturally was. And then we have him goofing off with Sirius.

Sirius’ casual elegance, being handsome and Harry highlights his perfectly placed hair speak of how he was raised. They’re 15, so Sirius is still living with his parents and we know how the heirs of these high class pureblood families are supposed to behave. And while he does try to break from it as much as he can “lounging in his chair, tilting it back”, part of it will always be naturally ingrained into him (at least until he’s stuck in jail for 12 years and disowned). As for him being a ladies man. Yeah well. He is one in real life too.

And then we have Lupin, who is more serious and actually concerned about school. She associates it lightly to his lycanthropy. I agree. I think the weight of the illness, of keeping it a secret and of what it would mean to his adult life did make him considerably more mature than his friends. He needs to do well in these exams. Needs to. People don’t hire werewolves and so he needs to do his best.

And then we have Peter. She never gave him a personality past the stereotypes and that’s what he reflects here too. Anxious and cheating as not to stay behind. And while cheating at an exam hardly equates to betrayal and murder, that is the lead up here for him.

Back to James, L. E is clearly Lily. I wonder if he was going to give her a secret message on the snitch. We do know from further canon they can open. Or if he would dedicate the next quidditch win to her? He is a seeker. Interesting little passage. Let’s go further.

This passage makes me think my first thought was right. A message, which he’s unsure of how to write. Love the highlight on how close he and Sirius are. In a few months time they will be living together at the Potters, and we can clearly see why Sirius ran to James and not Peter or Remus.

First of all, banter. I’ve had people say they don’t use the nicknames with each other in canon and erm. You’re wrong. They do. Lupin doesn’t seem like he enjoys being teased over being a werewolf, but he does dish it right back at Sirius with his sarcasm lol. When Snape said they quarrel like an old married couple in PoA, he wasn’t wrong.

The fics that do write his teen self as sarcastic and dry are on point. But he does enjoy himself and his friends. Another one of peter’s traits: dumbness. Yeah. JKR really digs those stereotypes, especially with characters she doesn’t want us to like. Personally? It would be more compelling and mature if he was likable and then turned. But that’s me.

I do want to talk about how carelessly they are handling him being a werewolf here, talking about it loudly in the crowded hallways. We know the prank with Snape is near (Sirius is already 16 by their final 5th year exams), and I think that part of the reason why he went that far is because they got careless with the secret.

More teasing, this time with Peter. But James and Sirius clearly are smart, otherwise they wouldn’t be animagi, let alone at that age. There seems to be a bit of a competition between them about who’s “best” and that’s interesting. Gonna ignore the stereotypical “Peter wants to impress the bullies only not to be bullied” thing that is going on with him gushing over James there.

Once again with James wanting to look cool. He stole a snitch and is showing off his quidditch skills. Lily is gonna think you’re an asshole, not cool. But you do you.

“Haughty and bored” rubs off on what I just said about him and James competing over who’s best. They’re both acting like they’re too cool for stuff. But with Sirius I could equally say it traces back to how he was raised. I am 10000% sure “looking superior” is something he was raised to perfect. Hence the “handsome too” she adds, but it is a bit funny that Harry is crushing on his godfather.

Peter is annoying me already but that’s the goal here. She doesn’t want to do layers for him.

Even Harry is annoyed 😂 but notice James likes the attention. Harry is wondering why his dad didn’t tell Peter to fuck off, it’s because he likes it, kid. Thank god you didn’t inherit that.

Even tho they’re kinda rivaling each other on who’s cooler, theres a mutual respect dynamic between Sirius and James that seems to be unique to them. We’ve seen Lupin tell Harry that he didn’t intervene with his friends’ behaviors as often as he should because he didn’t want to lose them, and what that shows me is they wouldn’t listen to him if they really didn’t want to.

We see that at the shrieking shack in the movie. Sirius snips back that Lupin should shut up and then Remus gives up because he knows it’s pointless. Do I think S and J should be each other’s moral compass? Hell no. Does that speak to the closeness of prongsfoot? Of course.

[okay-j-hannah]

May The Best Man Win

The Marauders : Oneshot

James x Reader x Sirius

Word Count: 9358

Warnings: I’m not a big swearer, but I did add something in the end 😂 this turned way angsty, like A LOT, which is what I think the requester wanted 

Request: “y/n can’t choose between James and Sirius. preferably tons and tons of angst” - Anon

A/N: A friendly competition turns sour as these best friends fight for your heart without any good intentions

“This is simple.”

“No it isn’t.”

“Yes, it is!”

Sirius sunk further into his chair, covering his eyes with one hand and another holding an ice cold butterbeer.

James stood from the couch, fingers to his temples, glasses askew, “Listen, I saw her first, therefore I get dibs.”

“You shouldn’t call dibs on a girl,” Remus muttered, his quill whizzing across his essay, “That’s not fair for her or for any other potential suitors.”

Peter peered up at his scarred friend from his place on the rug, “Are you saying you fancy her too, Mooney?”

“You can’t claim the girl just because you saw her first,” Sirius reiterated, continuing to block the firelight as it burned his gaze. “Besides, I was the first one to actually speak to her.”

“Is that true, Prongs?” Peter asked, eyes flipping between all those that were talking.

James messed with his hair again, “Well… that’s only because you caught my snitch as it drifted towards her.”

“So you could say that you led me to her.”

The two friends shared a look, one smirking and one grimacing. James paced in front of the fireplace, loosening his tie as Peter followed him with his gaze. Sirius appeared amused that he not only got the first introduction with this girl, but also in flustering his friend.

“Can I ask – are you two interested in this girl because you actually fancy her, or because you want to beat one another?” Remus asked, taking a heavy sigh and corking his ink bottle.

James appeared affronted while Sirius simply looked tired, “I don’t know, I was rather enjoying seeing Potter break his neck while I wooed the lady.”

“Of course I like her, Mooney, why else does a chap make a fool of himself.”

“Oh, come on, Prongs. You only slipped in the corridor twice,” Sirius mused, taking a sip of his drink. “Forgive me, I didn’t count the time you fell through the Fat Friar – that would make it three times.”

Remus rolled up his parchment and added in a delighted voice, “For a gifted quidditch player you can really trip over nothing, can’t you James.”

Sirius chuckled, sneaking a glance at his pacing friend, “Seeking love is a fools errand.”

“If you really believe that then why are you fighting against me asking (Y/N) out?”

“Are you telling us that you’ve found love at first sight?”

James grimaced, leaning against the mantle, “Not… not necessarily.”

“You just think she’s very pretty?” Remus questioned, now settling into the conversation with his homework done.

“No!”

“Beautiful, then?” Peter suggested. And with a swift look from his peer, he shut his mouth.

“Look, I’ll admit that (Y/N) is very attractive, and she caught my eye…”

Sirius cleared his throat, looking off into the distance, “And every other bloke in the Great Hall.” He practically snickered at the sneer coming from James.

“But you need someone to distract you from Lily Evans consistently rejecting your advances,” Remus delivered mercilessly, “You needed a beautiful rebound to make her jealous.”

Sirius finally sat straight in his chair, eyes uncovered, “That’s it, isn’t it?”

James was overly flustered again, hair seeming to frazzle with static, “Well, it sounds a lot worse when you say it like that.”

“You mean the truth?” Remus muttered, folding his arms to warm his cool hands, “If no one’s going to take into consideration the feelings of this girl, I might as well.”

“Alright, I have a bet,” Sirius stated loudly over Remus. He took a mighty swig of his butterbeer, “We both want a girl for the wrong reasons.”

James frowned, wiping a hand over his face, and Peter interjected, “Prongs wants her for the rebound – what’s your wrong reason, Padfoot?”

“Haven’t you been listening to the conversation?” Sirius continued, “I just wanted to spite him, taking the girl right from under him.” His elbows rested on his knees, hands clasped together, “How about we make it a proper competition. You’ll be able to take your mind off Evans and I’ll have something to do other than pantsing Filch and backtalking Minnie.”

The disapproval was immediate on Remus’ face, but he let them finish their statements, knowing precisely when to intervene. James furrowed his brow, a finger between his lips as he contemplated.

“It definitely would make Lily notice.”

“Possibly jealous.”

“And you could build cred that you’re the romantic type.”

“And the ladies will be lining up at my door to get a piece of the action.”

Peter again seemed bewildered at the talk, “I’m sorry, what – what is this proper competition?”

Remus sighed, willing his patience to continue, “These two are disregarding the feelings of a fellow classmate in the hopes that she’ll better their love lives outside of their fake relationship.” When the poor blonde boy seemed even more confused, he added, “Essentially these two want to try and win over (Y/N)’s affection, seeing which one gets it first, and then drop her flat with no consequences.”

“Ah, but the reward will be great,” Sirius stated, grinning, “Breaking one girls heart is worth the dozens that will be willingly given to me afterwards.”

James appeared a bit more skeptical, much to Remus’ satisfaction, “And Lily will realize what she’s been missing out on.”

“You two are impossible,” Remus finally uttered, “I will not condone this; I think you sometimes forget that I am a Gryffindor Prefect.”

“No, I could’ve sworn it was Ravenclaw.”

“Smartass.”

“Besides the point,” Remus waved his hands, light igniting his gaze, “I will not have you play with this girls emotions and then drop her brokenhearted and despising you for the rest of our time at Hogwarts, if not the rest of our lives.”

Sirius let there be a pause after the statement before continuing with a kind of vigor, “Well, now that we’ve gotten the grouchy warning out of the way. I’d say we put it to a vote.”

James nodded, “All in favor of this proper competition for the affections of the one (Y/N) (Y/L/N).” He raised his hand along with Sirius.

After another tense pause and a threatening glare from Sirius, an intimidated Peter reluctantly rose his hand. Remus gave a heavy sigh, crossing his arms tighter against his chest, “This happens every time – you can’t will Peter to your side in every argument.”

“Well, at least for this one, we have,” Sirius laughed, rising from his chair and waltzing over to his friend for a bone crushing handshake, “May the best man win.”

James returned the aggressive grip, staring into the mischievous glint in Sirius’ eyes, “And upon agreement, we do not let her know of this competition, this is (Y/N) falling for us naturally using our own wit and charm.”

“Therefore, I will be gaining the advantage because I am overflowing with both.”

Peter chimed in with a nervous smile, “And we can’t persuade her to go for one of you over the other?”

“No, we’ll use you as spies,” James continued, massaging his crushed hand, “If she decides to talk to you about one of us, you are legally bound to tell us everything she said.”

“And if we tell you to pass along particular information, you will please do exactly that.” Sirius returned to his chair but opted for leaning against the back of it. “And the competition will only end when she is given the ultimatum and has chosen one of us.”

James nodded, pulling his tie even looser, “And we have by the end of the school year – if she hasn’t chosen by then we’ll give her the final question before exams.”

“Oh, for pity’s sake,” Remus huffed, “Don’t lay a question like that on the girl before exams; at least wait until after when she has nothing else to worry about.”

“Well, I don’t think we’ll have to think about that,” Sirius gloated, “Because I’ll make her fall months before final exams.”

~~~

(Y/N) wandered the corridor, a very peculiar incident waying on her mind. She just had the most bewildering interaction with James Potter right outside the Great Hall. The boy was all in a tither, apparently at the end of a rather exhausted sprint down the main staircase.

“Good – Good afternoon, (Y/N),” he had huffed. “How are you?”

She smiled, puzzled, “I’m fine, thank you. You don’t seem to be, though.” She gave him a hesitant look and watched as he awkwardly tried to gather himself.

“Right, yes – it’s hard to run down stone stairs without falling – takes all my concentration; especially when my focus is elsewhere.” He gazed at her behind his squared glasses, hoping he wasn’t being too subtle.

(Y/N) bit the inside of her cheek, scrunching her face as she thought, “What’s on your mind?”

When he grinned at her reply, she couldn’t help but find him quite cute. His gleaming smile complimented his light eyes and dark hair well. Of course she had heard of Potter, him and all of his boisterous friends, but she’d never found herself caught up in a one-on-one conversation with him.

Just the other day she ran into his best mate, Sirius, in the Great Hall. And from that interaction it appeared he’d never laid eyes on her before. Perhaps he said something to James?

“I saw you crossing the corridor. I was trying to think of something clever to say.”

It was incredibly apparent that James was feigning a kind of bravado that his friend Sirius had once shown her. But all too noticeably she was able to pick out the hesitance and anxiety behind his words.

It made her smile even more as he peered down through his unbalanced glasses.

“And you came up with ‘good afternoon’?” she snickered, readjusting her heavy book bag. “You sure it took all of your concentration? Seems a bit obvious.”

This time he laughed along with her, finding his hands itching to fidget with his snitch. How was he supposed to focus on befriending (Y/N) when he had Sirius’ obnoxious face in the back of his mind? He could practically hear his friend mocking his conversational direction.

“Yeah, you got me,” he sighed, “I saw you and my mind went blank.”

She paused momentarily, letting that sentence tense the room. He appeared to sense the shift, messing with his hair even more, which she noticed with a skip in her heartbeat. What could she say? It was cute.

“Well – I’ve got to get studying.” She gestured her path set for the oak front doors, “I promised myself I would ace McGonagall’s exam.”

James saw his opportunity immediately and chose to seize it, “I’ve been meaning to study too! Do you want a study partner? I’m completely hopeless, but I have no doubt you could put me to good use.”

She couldn’t deny the plea in his gaze. Did he really want to? Why would he, all of the sudden? They were never great friends before. But when his tousled hair fell over the rim of his glasses, the skip in her chest wouldn’t allow her to refuse.

“Sure, if you don’t mind going outside. I like walking along the forbidden forest and sitting in the pumpkin patch.”

Her acceptance was enough to make James bounce on the balls of his feet, “Perfect.” He leaned towards the front doors and she took the hint to lead the way. In another stroke of genius he reached out a hand, “Let me carry your bag; you look about ready to collapse under the weight.”

“Are you calling me weak, Potter?”

He smirked at the use of his last name, “Absolutely not. It’s just, I told you I was hopeless with the studying. Maybe my uses will fall under ‘pack mule.’”

It made her laugh enough that she willingly shrug the bag off her shoulder and into his hands.

He liked the sound of her laugh. It was the kind of laugh that infected everything within its vicinity. It even made him want to join her, but he chose to offer a pleasant smile.

In that unsavory part in the back of his head, James could see Sirius unwillingly placing a point under ‘Potter.’ It looked like he was getting the head start.

Back in the Gryffindor dormitories, Sirius was brooding against his window, staring down at the grounds. He was witnessing the playful interactions between James and (Y/N) in the pumpkin patch.

They each sat on their own massive pumpkins, which were grown to colossal size for the Halloween festivities. They appeared to be laughing, James distracting her from whatever she was reading.

James quickly snatched the book from her hands, and she jokingly nudged his arm in protest. He held the book high and laughed at her pout.

It made Sirius clench his fists against the stone wall. If only he had gotten to her first. He would have to put some extra effort into getting on her good side after today. Just the way she sneaked glances at James when he wasn’t looking already put Sirius on edge.

There was no way James was more charming then him. Sure they were a pair, but James was the one good at sports, family dinners, and sneaking around the castle with his invisibility cloak. Sirius was the one good with wit, flirting, and sneaking them in and out of trouble.

He couldn’t help but think of how much more capable James was with relationships too. He was always a bit more open and willing to share then Sirius ever was.

“If you ground into that wall any harder, I fear the stone will start to turn to dust.” Remus laughed aloud, in the middle of a game of Exploding Snap with Peter.

Sirius had to will his hand out of its clenched fist. “Just look how far he’s gotten. She all over him!”

“Shoving him away is hardly the definition of ‘all over him.’” Remus corrected, placing another card on his tower, “They’re simply being friendly.”

“Your heart isn’t in the game, Mooney. I can’t trust your judgement.”

Sirius watched as the sun began to dip and James offered another stroll towards the Black Lake. How dare he! That was Sirius’ move.

“You spoke to her first, didn’t you?” His tone was flat, but Remus always had the need to cheer his friends. “I doubt she’s forgotten you so quickly.”

“You’re not seeing the way she looks at him.”

“It’s only been a few days, Padfoot,” Peter muttered, always afraid to be snapped at for his opinion. “(Y/N)’s sensible – she’ll weigh her options carefully. You’ve got plenty of time to show her what you have to offer.”

Surprisingly, Sirius didn’t feel the need to belittle Peter, “I’m just going to have to think of a more memorable event. Sure James could bump into her and do some homework outside. But that’s not so significant, students do homework every day.”

“What do you consider an insignificant event?” Peter paused his turn at the Exploding Snap tower, sensing the uneasiness in Remus’ brow.

“Please don’t tell me your intentions include the hospital wing?” Remus asked.

Sirius tried to watch the couple out the window with the darkness descending on them. “It won’t be needed if I can catch her in time.”

Remus widened his tired eyes, Peter attempting to match the mood. “What are you thinking, Sirius? Don’t be doing anything stupid. Getting expelled isn’t worth this bet.”

“Don’t be so ridiculous. It’s nothing to be worried about – not by you two.” He retreated to his bed, stretching out with a new air of confidence, “Damsels in distress can’t resist a prince charming.”

“I have to insist, Sirius.”

He rolled his eyes, “If I tell you, there’s a chance James will find out. I don’t need any interference.”

“So help me,” Remus glowered, “If I find out this girl is incapacitated because of your tomfoolery…”

“Relax, Mooney – all’s fair in love and war.”

~~~

The rain was falling into a lazy drizzle, calming the cold that had plagued them that morning. (Y/N) followed the stone steps outside and up towards the owlery, protecting her letters from the last remnants of rainfall.

She dwelled on her conversation with her good friend Mary MacDonald last night. It was a much needed vent about the last few weeks, and Mary was more than willing to listen. She was always a sweet friend.

“James Potter? Are you serious?”

“Yes!” (Y/N) had said, “And we walked along the forest and the lake well into the night. We just talked and talked, and it was actually… really nice.”

“I always thought Potter was a bit of a pompous prat.”

(Y/N) laughed, “Sometimes that does shine through, but I’m getting good at knocking him off his high horse when it does.”

Mary ran a hand through her hair, thinking, “Have you done anything since then?”

“To tell you the truth it’s like he can’t leave me alone. He keeps cropping up in all sorts of places – it’s like I can’t refuse him as a friend now. It’s usually when I’m studying in the Great Hall or the library; he shows up with treats or ideas about walking the quidditch pitch.”

There was a strange glint now entering Mary’s eyes. She let (Y/N) ramble on some more, waiting for some dire information.

“I’ll admit it’s been fun, it’s definitely confusing, but also fun. I’m starting to get used to having him around – he’s always cracking jokes. He knows how to make me laugh. And...”

“Oh, and his hair, right? How he’s always ruffling it around,” Mary put an edge of mockery in her tone, but she was thrilled with the wide eyed reaction from (Y/N). “And his glasses…”

(Y/N) stared at her friend for a moment too long before a blush betrayed her, “… they’re always crooked.”

Mary nodded to herself, a fist under her chin and a smug look on her face. “You like him, don’t you?”

She gave it a lot of thought, “I don’t know. He’s cute and I enjoy being around him. But it’s too soon to tell.”

“It seems pretty obvious to me,” Mary concluded, pointing at her friend accusingly, “You have feelings for James Potter.”

(Y/N) began to retort, “We’ve only been hanging out for a week!”

“And he’s obviously been doing something right because you are still thinking about that week.”

Now as (Y/N) climbed the staircase towards the owlery, she sighed. Maybe she did feel something for James. She couldn’t deny the skipping of her heart every time he brushed her shoulder with his.

After tying her letters to nearby barn and screech owls, (Y/N) went for her favorite spot just outside the tower. She sat on the railing and let her legs swing in the open air, taking a deep breath of the crisp wind.

The stone was still damp from the ceasing rain and it made her fingertips cold touching it. She had hoped the fresh air would clear her head of her recent puzzling thoughts and feelings. But the longer she sat there, the more she found her mind fogging up.

What was she doing sitting on the railing? How did she get up there?

Shaking her head a bit, (Y/N) tried to turn herself around but found another wave of confusion hit her.

Where was she, again?

And reflexively scooching to one side to peer at her surroundings, (Y/N) found herself unbalanced and sliding off whatever she was sitting upon. Was this a railing?

She began to slip off the damp stone, a sudden shriek on her lips. Her feet found no traction as they descended further, and her hands grappled for any kind of purchase. In just a few seconds she was dangling from the edge of the staircase, fingers cold and numb against the rough bricks.

She couldn’t find her voice as she struggled to wedge a foot along the side. Heavy breaths came from her lungs as whimpers escaped her.

But in another few seconds, she heard another’s voice.

“Woah! What are you doing?”

Frantically turning her gaze upward, (Y/N) saw a familiar face. Sirius Black?

“H-Help.”

He copied her panicked face, fumbling with stowing his wand. “Don’t worry, I’ve got you.” His hands found hers and he began to hoist her up.

(Y/N) scrambled over the edge, feeling the numbness that started in her fingers trail through the rest of her body. She could hardly comprehend the way she fell into Sirius’ arms, clutching at his cloak out of sheer panic.

“Hey, I’ve got you. You’re safe now, (Y/N).”

He felt the shivers racking her body as he held her to him. An unexpected pang of guilt shot through him. She had fistfuls of his cloak, fear plain in her eyes as she stared at a fixed point ahead.

“Are you all right?” When she didn’t respond, Sirius tried cupping her face, turning her gaze to him. “Are you all right, (Y/N)?”

She looked at him hard, blinking furiously as warmth began to seep back into her bones. “I – um… I think so.”

“You’re not hurt at all?”

She stared at the way his face changed when he asked it. A crease formed between his eyebrows and his eyes were set upon hers. She started to feel his hands on her cheeks and a sudden rush of heat flooded them.

“No, no – I think I’m good.”

That warmth began to unfreeze her limbs, her mind no longer so foggy. She took a deliberate step away from Sirius, embarrassed by the momentary close contact.

He held his hands up, noticing the swift retreat, “Hey, I’m just checking. You look a little shaken.”

She looked around her, “I don’t understand,” she muttered.

“What were you doing sitting on the edge of the stairs? You do realize it was raining this morning.”

She looked harder but couldn’t find any reason. She must’ve just slipped, though she’d sat on that railing for years and never fallen. “I come up here to think. I’ve never fallen before.”

He nodded but kept a concerned look on his face, “You seem a little dazed. Maybe you should visit the hospital wing – Madam Pomfrey might have something to calm you down.”

“I told you I was all right.”

“I know, but it would make me feel better if you got checked out anyways.”

Was her mind still foggy or was Sirius Black showing genuine concern? She snapped her gaze back to his and realized that the arrogant flirt from that day in the Great Hall was completely gone. It was almost bewildering to see his face without the smugness or the classic smirk.

Her stomach churned, whether from leftover fear or freshly made nerves, she didn’t know. But she was compelled to return the compassion.

“Thank you,” she said, “For pulling me up.”

A smile returned to his features, “It’s no problem. Damsels are my specialty.”

So the arrogant flirt was still in there.

“It was lucky you came over here. I would’ve been a goner.”

She waited for him to say something obnoxious like ‘yeah, you are lucky, princess,’ or ‘just call me savior from now on.’ But he caught himself with his mouth agape, it was a calculated hesitance.

“I’m glad,” he said, more sincerity in his tone. “I’m glad you’re okay.”

Her stomach did another involuntary flip. Did Sirius always have such a nice smile? She never realized how kind it was, or how warm his eyes were.

“Can we stop by the hospital wing real quick?”

“We?” she murmured, still dazed by the sudden rush of epiphanies.

He chuckled, “I’d like to follow through, if you don’t mind. What if you slipped on your way down to the castle?”

(Y/N) recognized the chuckle as something to accompany a witty remark, but this time it was partnered with a warm gaze and a slanted brow.

“Sure,” she said, hesitantly. “Are you sure you’re all right? You’re acting strange.”

He laughed again, leading the way back down the stairs, respectfully keeping his distance from her now. “Whatever do you mean?”

“I mean,” (Y/N) hid her hands in her pockets, hoping the redness had dulled in her cheeks, “You haven’t said anything irritatingly pretentious yet.”

He let out a low whistle, “The damsel bites back.” She didn’t say anything more so he shrugged his shoulders, “Maybe you shouldn’t be so quick to assume I’m like that all the time.”

Had she made assumptions? She had only spoken to him that one other time in the Great Hall.

~~~

There was a very clear thwack as the portrait swung closed. Mumblings could be heard from the Fat Lady and a string of first and second years scrambled to move their things elsewhere and avoid the coming carnage.

James came tromping towards the corner of comfy couches the marauders normally occupied, finding the trio he was seeking.

“You have some explaining to do,” he pointed at Sirius, “And it better be lengthy and detailed.”

The venom was perfectly seen in his words, and it only made the victory that much sweeter in Sirius’ eyes. “Yes, Prongs?”

“How unrelentingly pig-headed are you? How much of a conniving, thieving git are you?” James began to rise his voice much to the growing grin on Sirius’ face.

Remus began to contort his brow, “What’s happened, James?”

“What’s happened is that Sirius has no regard for (Y/N)’s safety. Apparently it was thrown out the window when he decided to toy with her to get back at me.”

“Who said anything about getting back at you? I’m just playing the game.” Sirius was much too relaxed on the sofa for James’ liking.

Peter piped up, “What’s happened to (Y/N)?” He had grown quite fond of the girl whenever they met in the library. She was always kind to him when he struggled with assignments.

“Sirius landed her in the hospital wing!” James hissed, “She just told me downstairs.”

Remus rounded on their friend, “You said you wouldn’t let it get that far!”

“You knew about it!”

“Is (Y/N) all right?”

Sirius yelled the loudest, “Alright, you pansies, calm yourselves. (Y/N) is fine.”

“Not before she was almost thrown off the side of the owlery.”

Remus felt his jaw drop, “You shoved her off the stairs?”

Sirius jumped to his feet, “Now, now, Mooney – let’s not fall to any conclusions. (Y/N) was sitting on the railing and I simply nudged her into the perfect position for a rescue.”

James was fighting the urge to sock his friend in the face. “By having her fear for her life, dangling on the side of a mountain?”

“I’ll admit, it wasn’t meant to go that far.”

“Then how far, exactly?” Remus urged, “Be careful, Sirius – I might not hold James back from hitting you.”

“I just sent a little confundus charm her way while she was sitting there so she would forget why she was there in the first place. Then I thought I’d surprise her, she’d jump a bit, I’d steady her so she wouldn’t fall… easy.”

James had to cross his arms very tightly to keep them from swinging, “And you took the charm too far?”

Sirius felt a familiar pang of guilt, the look of terror on (Y/N)’s face as she clutched at him resurfacing in his memory. “Perhaps. But she’s all right, isn’t she? I took her to the hospital wing just to make sure, and Madam Pomfrey said after a nights rest she’d be fine!”

The silence was tense and anxious. Remus looked ready to attack Sirius just as much as James wanted to, but maybe not as ferociously. Peter cowered in the corner, wishing to run from the fight.

Sirius was the only one with a casual look on his face, “You two are overreacting.”

“I can’t believe you would put (Y/N) into such unnecessary danger,” Remus remarked.

“You’re overlooking the benefits, though,” Sirius continued, “Clearly (Y/N) has been talking about me. Clearly she has me on her mind, exactly where I want to be.” He stared smugly at James, relishing in his fuming state.

James couldn’t comprehend the fury he was feeling. How dare Sirius take such measures. How dare he hurt someone he cared about.

Wait.

Someone he cared about?

“This isn’t a game anymore.”

“Excuse me?”

“This is (Y/N) we’re talking about,” James reiterated, “She isn’t a chess piece – she’s our friend. You clearly are taking it way too far. I thought charm and flirting would’ve sufficed, but you want to throw in some death defying stunts…”

Sirius held his hands up, his smugness melting away, “Easy – you don’t think I was worried about her too? I’m sensing a little more than anger here, Prongs.”

James swallowed hard, his face set, “That might be my restraint in killing you right now.”

“No, no – I think you’re hiding some other unresolved feelings.” Saying the words did uneasy things to his chest, much to his chagrin. “Perhaps you’ve been enjoying your time with (Y/N) more than you thought.” Just the idea made unwanted jealousy bubble in his stomach.

Why would he feel that?

James had to bite his tongue to stop himself from saying something rash. From giving himself away.

“Just stay away from her – for a little while. I think you’ve traumatized her; she won’t go across a bridge without someone with her.” He began to retreat, coolness to his tone, wishing to be alone now.

“And let you get ahead? I don’t think so.”

James stopped in his tracks for only a second before thinking better of the situation and leaving the common room.

The remaining three sat in silence for a few minutes, Sirius finally feeling able to let his guard down and appear sulky. Peter flickered his beady eyes between his companions as Remus attempted to study Sirius’ face.

“Are you all right?”

Sirius barely sneered, “What?”

“We were so busy worrying about (Y/N), we didn’t ask how you were.” Remus tilted his head in thought, “You did almost send the girl to her death.”

The unwanted heat in his chest made Sirius stir uncomfortably, “It was a surprise.”

Remus knew better and waited for his friend to build up the courage to continue.

“When she fell over… for a split second – I didn’t know what to do.” He paused and waited to see if someone would stop him. He tried with difficulty to gather his thoughts, “I was terrified. I was angry at myself.”

There was another bout of silence and it appeared that Remus was satisfied with the outcome of his questioning. Sirius was relieved, it was overwhelmingly hard for him to describe his feelings.

“James isn’t going to forgive so easily.”

“I know that.”

“And (Y/N) doesn’t know her fall wasn’t accidental?”

“If she did I doubt she would’ve let me walk her back to her dormitory.” There was a distant look in Sirius as he thought of the memory. He was finally able to get her to smile again right before saying goodnight.

~~~

Mary was more skeptical than ever as they trudged through the snow covered grounds. It seemed impossible.

How could both James Potter and Sirius Black be fawning over her best friend?

“And then what did he do?”

“He pointed out the mistletoe and looked at me expectantly. And what was I supposed to do?” (Y/N) mused, almost embarrassed by how much she liked the moment.

“So you kissed him?”

“Don’t sound so disappointed – I thought you were team James from the beginning.”

Mary didn’t respond right away, “How was it?”

(Y/N) appeared to like that question, “Merlin, I’ve never had so many butterflies. He kissed me once, real quick. And it looked like he was going to say something, so I just went for another one!” She kicked a pile of snow, entirely too happy to remark on the few flakes that fell on her face. “And before I knew it, we were on the couch.”

“You didn’t…?”

“No, we just kissed.” (Y/N) said quickly, “But it was the best kiss I think I’ve ever had.”

The retellings of the Christmas weekend were definitely something to behold. Both Black and Potter decided to try and one up the others time with (Y/N). It appeared that Mary was the only one to have noticed. Merlin only knows what Sirius will do once he figured out James had kissed (Y/N).

“Well, what about Sirius? Did you two do anything over the weekend?”

“We spent Sunday with Remus and got in a snowball fight. Sirius shoved snow down my cloak like the git he is. But when we walked back to the castle he asked if I was all right.”

“He does that a lot, doesn’t he? Seems to wait for when no one is around.”

(Y/N) felt defiant, “Sirius doesn’t like people to know he’s a good guy. He has to keep up appearances, you know.”

Mary found the sudden urge to list the pros and cons of the boys laid out before them. “But James has never struggled with showing you how he feels.”

“But have you seen him around the quidditch pitch? I could climb to the moon on the ego he has while on a broomstick.”

“But he also is a gentleman – he carries your books, takes you out to Hogsmeade, brings you treats…”

(Y/N) blew hot air between her numb hands, “Yeah, but no one asks me how I’m doing more than Sirius. And he is determined to make sure I’m not lying; he hates it when I say, ‘I’m fine.’” She fiddled with her pockets as a frown soured her face, “And I’m pretty sure I caught James pining over Lily Evans the other day.”

That startled Mary a bit, “Did they use to go out?”

“No, but James fancied her a lot! Peter told me. She rejected him something fierce.”

“And you think he’s still stuck on her?”

“Maybe.” The grimace didn’t suit (Y/N). “And then there’s Sirius – the perpetual bachelor.”

Mary snuck a smile, “Yeah, but Sirius always has a string of girls wanting to go out with him. He lets his good looks get to his head.”

“Sometimes I think he doesn’t believe he’ll ever find someone,” (Y/N) mumbled, “I know his arrogant, witty side is a front. He almost gets nervous whenever I try to make a move.”

“Really?” Mary dramatized, “I thought Sirius Black never got nervous.”

“That’s cause you haven’t taken the time to get to know him.”

Mary nudged her further, “And what about James? Does he have some secret?”

(Y/N) pondered thoughtfully, “I think he’s scared no one likes him compared to Sirius. He has a good heart and comes from a wealthy family. But he wants to make a name for himself, so he puts everything he has into his friends and quidditch. He gets jealous quite a lot.”

“Interesting.”

“And that’s not even mentioning Sirius and his family. Man, I thought I didn’t get along with my parents, you should look at his.” She found herself taken slower and slower steps, her voice now lowering, “You know his entire family is in Slytherin? And he’s a Gryffindor… that should be enough to speak for his character. He despises what his family represents.”

“I didn’t know that.” Mary was now beginning to understand the predicament that (Y/N) had found herself in.

Both of these boys were setting up a dangerous game. One that was going to end only in heartbreak and guilt. And Mary didn’t like that her best friend was tangled in the middle of it.

“What are you going to do?”

(Y/N) paused, halting her steps. “You mean – who am I going to choose?”

“I don’t think you should let it go on much farther. I think both of them are falling for you and eventually one of them is going to be let down, and you’re going to feel terrible for doing it.”

They stood there ankle deep in snow as the gears turned in (Y/N)’s head. Mary could’ve sworn steam was beginning to come out of her ears.

“I don’t know if I can choose.”

Mary frowned, “Well, you need to explore your options. You obviously care for both of them, now you just need to figure out which one you love.”

(Y/N) swallowed hard at the thought: love.

“I haven’t kissed Sirius yet.”

“No, you haven’t,” Mary continued, helping the thinking aloud process. “But just because you can kiss them doesn’t mean you love them.” She was painfully aware of the numbness creeping into her stone cold feet, but (Y/N) didn’t appear to be.

And another set of footprints was coming their way, crunching in the snow.

“Oh, I think that’s James now. Act as if we haven’t been talking about him this whole time.”

(Y/N) couldn’t help but laugh as they were joined, “Hello, James.”

“Hi, (Y/N) – Mary. How are you?” His cheeks were rosy with the cold, his pale complexion making his ruffled hair stand out. He was staring only at (Y/N) as he asked the question.

She felt her heart throb, “I think my fingers are frostbit, but other than that, perfectly fine.” She laughed his favorite laugh.

“Well, no wonder; you’re not wearing any gloves.” And there was no hesitation as he reached for her hands to warm them up between his. He blew hot air between her fingers and rubbed them together.

(Y/N) was mesmerized, her flushed cheeks growing to down her neck. Mary noticed but didn’t say anything, only smirked.

“Better?” He stared at her with eyes alight with something Mary could only describe as adoring.

(Y/N) smiled, “Much.” She intertwined their fingers, asking him to join them back towards the castle.

~~~

“I think we have a problem.” Remus saw first, peering down the table at where James and (Y/N) were eating together. “I think our friend is losing sight of the goal.”

Sirius sat begrudgingly beside him, “Doesn’t he realize that every time he looks at Lily, (Y/N) notices?”

Speaking of the redhead, Lily Evans made her way down the aisle of seats to take one beside some other Gryffindors. James flickered his eyes to her before returning them to a suddenly much more sullen (Y/N).

Sirius practically growled into his dinner, “If he actually cared about (Y/N), he’d spare her feelings and go for Evans.”

Remus didn’t dare remark how at the beginning of the school year the pair of them were both ignoring (Y/N)’s feelings for a petty competition.

“Don’t be mean, Padfoot,” Peter whispered across the platters, “Just because they’ve kissed…”

He didn’t want the reminder. His fist clenched involuntarily beneath the table. “I can’t believe I’m losing. There’s no way he wants her more than I do.”

Perhaps he meant to say it just to himself, but it was loud enough for Remus to hear. The scarred boy felt sympathetic, looking to Sirius with a wary glance.

“Do you mean that?” Maybe he could give Sirius a much needed epiphany. “You want her?”

There was a silence as Sirius pounded away at his feelings. He felt them creeping up on him – making his heart race, his lungs constrict, his palms sweaty. He never used to feel that way. He was afraid to feel that way.

But he had tried to deny them for months now. After the mistletoe incident during Christmas, he had seemed to lose much of his persistence. His resolve was that he wanted (Y/N). Wanted her badly. But James had gotten there first.

Stupid, wonderful James. Of course she’d go for him.

Sirius looked at his best friend and knew he couldn’t ruin it for him. James deserved to be happy. Sirius couldn’t be selfish. As much as it now pained Sirius to see them together, he knew he wouldn’t forgive himself if he stole (Y/N) right from under James.

But what if she came willingly?

Oh, shut up.

Sirius had simply given up trying to win (Y/N)’s affections. At this point, he was just waiting for the final verdict. He still spent as much time as he could with her without breaking his heart. He just knew that she preferred spending that time with James.

And he was okay with that…

He was learning to be okay with that.

Remus caught himself falling into a pained grimace as he watched the rainbow of emotion reflect in Sirius’ face.

His friend was suffering while the other prospered. “You don’t have to answer. I’ve known it for a while now.”

Sirius swallowed hard, flexing his fists on his knees. “I think we have to give her the ultimatum soon. The Easter holidays are next week – we could give her till after. She could have the whole break to think about it. James and I are staying here anyways, it’ll be perfect.”

Remus still looked at him skeptically, “I should’ve stopped this bet before it got so serious.” They didn’t say anything, and Remus continued, “I think you both didn’t expect to fall for her so easily.”

“She’s easy to love.”

Remus tried not to have such a noticeable reaction. He knew the slightest hint towards that conversation would scare Sirius right off. “Maybe you should talk to her.” He pointed towards the couple rising from their seats, James kissing the back of (Y/N)’s hand.

Sirius didn’t respond as James came waltzing back towards them. He didn’t even see the still sullen look on (Y/N)’s face as she retreated.

“Evening, boys,” James mused, “I would like to say that I’m feeling rather good about my prospects. I do believe I’m going to win this bet.”

Sirius felt his hands shake, “And once you do, are you going back to Evans?”

“Sorry?” James wiped the smirk from his face.

“That was the point, wasn’t it? Get the rebound to make Lily jealous.”

James paused to think of a proper response, “Sure, to make Lily jealous, but that doesn’t mean I’ll go for her again.”

A slow nod, “So you’re planning on going steady with (Y/N).”

Remus flickered his eyes between his two friends, he tried to interpret the look on James’ face. Did he realize what these words were doing to Sirius?

“If she’ll have me, yeah.”

Sirius had to rise from his seat after that. “Excuse me.”

He sped down the aisle of seats, heart beating rapidly beneath his burning chest. There was only one face he wanted to see, one that he wanted to hold. It was almost involuntary how fast he scoured the corridors outside the Great Hall. All he knew was that he wanted to see her. He wanted to tell her, show her.

And there she was continuing her retreat back to her common room.

“(Y/N)!” he sped ever quicker, a painful throb echoing in his chest. He noticed her slow her steps, but not turn to look at him. “What’s going on?”

He was met with a distressed look on her face, “Hello, Sirius.”

“Are you all right?”

There was a flicker of a smile gracing her features, but it didn’t reach her eyes. “I’m not sure.”

“Tell me,” he stated, staring into her downtrodden eyes.

“I don’t know what to do.” When she met his gaze it was like fire. “I – I don’t understand how I can choose.”

Sirius had an inkling about what she was referring too. As always he kept a respectable distance, not wishing to overwhelm her, though the burning in his chest tried to will him to hold her.

“Choose?”

“I’ve noticed James sort of pining over Lily. And when he does it makes me sad. Like I’m not the only girl for him.”

You’re the only girl for me.

“But when it’s just us two it’s like nothing else matters. I really do like him – but he’s not the only one on my mind.”

Sirius swallowed hard, “Yes?”

She stared up at him, guilt plainly visible. “But I don’t exactly know how he feels.” She remembered the way Sirius had held her face back when she tumbled off the owlery tower. The thought made her cheeks redden.

Sirius noticed, feeling that familiar churning in his stomach, something he usually fought against. But his hand betrayed him, reaching out to graze her blush with just his fingertips. His head yelled at him to stop, but his heart yearned to go further.

“And if you knew, it would help?”

“The plainer the better.” Her breathing hitched at the way his gaze melted into hers.

And then he was just inches away, his breath just as unsteady as hers against her lips. The fire seared through them as they connected, (Y/N) going limp but Sirius clamping his hands on either side of her face.

Every ounce of him screamed of desperation, of a longing for this moment. It was making (Y/N) dizzy, her lungs momentarily forgetting how to work. Sirius pulled away, catching his breath and leaning his forehead against hers.

“Does that tell you plain enough?”

She shivered at his whisper, “In the only way you can tell it. That’s always been you, Sirius – few words, full action.” She caught herself smiling but being confused at the contorted look on his face.

“You should take the Easter holidays. Think it through.” He finally backed away, though his hands held onto her for a fraction of a second longer, “We’ll respect your decision, no matter what it is.”

And unable to stand her gaze any longer, he ran off to the solitude of the Black Lake.

~~~

Peter shuffled uncomfortably at the Hogsmeade train station, Remus steady at his side. Steady, but concentrating on calming his nerves.

“How long does it take to get off the train?”

Remus sighed, “She’s probably getting every free second she can before facing us.”

The two of them were instructed to escort (Y/N) back to the castle, both James and Sirius agreeing the coming conversation would be handled better nearer to their dormitories.

James was afraid (Y/N) would pull a fast one and choose Sirius, even though they had a more intimate relationship.

Sirius was afraid that (Y/N) would pick James regardless of his moment of vulnerability with her. He couldn’t help but convince himself that she would want someone more apt at demonstrating public displays of affection.

Therefore, the duty was laid to Remus and Peter, the two that would ensure her safety and counsel her where it was needed.

Remus was collecting his thoughts as she quietly stepped off the train and onto the platform. He quickly offered to carry her trunk to the nearest carriage, “(Y/N)! How was your holiday?”

She gave a heavier sigh than expected, “Not long enough.”

Peter tip toed around to give her a hug, “We missed you. All of us.”

She tried to hold back a grimace, but followed them to the carriage, “They haven’t been giving you grief, have they?” There was a pause that confirmed her suspicions, “Of course they would be.”

“They’re anxious to see you,” Remus stated, sitting beside Peter, “They’re worried about you.”

“Yeah, I don’t think I’ve ever seen Sirius more depressed. And James has dug an imprint in the rug from all his pacing,” Peter prattled, not taking much heed to his words. “It’s been a long week for them as well.”

(Y/N) frowned, “Yeah, I’ve been much the same. Thank you – for meeting me.”

The ride back up to the castle was mostly silent, Peter squirming and Remus remaining rigid. (Y/N) could feel them both wondering the same thing: what was her decision? It sent more anxiety flooding threw her at the thought.

Peter appeared to be getting at his wits end as the school loomed every closer, “(Y/N)… can I ask?”

“Hmm?”

He swallowed, “Who won?”

That took her aback. What an odd way to phrase it. “Won?” Remus attempted to subtly nudge his friend a warning, but (Y/N) quickly caught it. “You mean won my affections? Who beat the other? How silly – you make it sound like a competition.”

She smiled but felt a wave of paralysis at the stony response from the other two. Peter looked absolutely petrified as Remus seemed to collect himself quicker.

“Yes, a very silly way to put it. He meant, who did you choose? Of course.”

“Are you…” she peered at them, her mind overworking. “Are you hiding something from me?”

“No, not at all,” Remus said all too quickly, “We’re just looking out for our friends.”

(Y/N) seemed more and more skeptical. The way these two were sitting uncomfortably put her on edge. There was clearly something going on and she knew exactly who to target for further questioning.

“Peter?”

The small blonde boy widened his eyes in fear, knowing his own resolve will be corrupted immediately. Remus seemed to think this too, closing his eyes to hide his exhausted defeat.

“What are you hiding? Has it got something to do with James and Sirius?”

Peter felt his own head nod without consent from his mind. He also felt a second jab to the ribs from Remus.

“Well, what is it?” She felt her heart beat faster. She knew it had something to do with what she said before. “Is… does it have to do with some competition?”

Peter turned towards his taller friend with a pleading look, very quietly saying, “It was a kind of competition.”

~~~

James and Sirius waited in the grounds near the pumpkin patch that was now filled with spring weeds and flowers.

A new imprint in the dirt spoke of James’ pacing, his hands being wrung before him. He kept straightening his hair to no avail, his skewed glasses falling farther and farther down his nose. He couldn’t understand how Sirius could stand so still near him.

Sirius was a statue, the only evidence of life being the quickened pulse and strenuous breaths working his lungs. He was determined not to show his reaction to her picking James. He was practicing now – practicing in keeping his composure.

It got harder as he saw students begin to flood the school gates. He watched James pause his frantic steps, straining to find their friends. Sirius refrained from doing it too, knowing that if he let himself he would begin to unravel.

James clutched his fidgeting hands together, spotting (Y/N), Remus, and Peter near the back of the crowd. A grin split his features and he bounced on his toes, “There they are!”

The two of them had hardly spoken a word all week, each wondering how their friendship would be after one of them was chosen. It was still hard to feel that the ‘best man should win,’ when each hoped that they’d be picked.

Sirius peered at the three figures making their way towards them across the grounds. Remus and Peter seemed less eager to reach them, carrying a trunk and keeping their heads down. (Y/N), on the other hand, was determinedly marching her way over.

It was plain to see that those steps were fueled with a kind of vigor. A kind of anger. And it seemed like James was beginning to recognize it too. He retreated a few steps to stand beside Sirius.

“Does she look upset to you?”

“It looks like she’s crying,” Sirius muttered. He could feel himself beginning to snap and unravel against his better judgement.

And the closer she got, the truer the assessment was. Her face was blotched and twisted in a kind of fury, one that made her breaths come out in sputters.

“You…” her voice was weak and betrayed.

And both boys had an idea on what was happening, though neither wanted to admit it. James craned his neck to see the ashamed looks on Remus and Peter’s faces.

“Now, (Y/N),” he stated, his anxious excitement plummeting to fear. “I don’t know what you heard…”

Sirius felt the blood drain from his face. What little hope he was experiencing distinguished in an instant.

(Y/N) finally reached them, raising her hand and giving an almighty smack across James’ cheek. She stumbled backward and looked ready to deliver another to Sirius.

James staggered, holding his face, absolutely stunned. But Sirius straightened out, knowing that he deserved it. But (Y/N) couldn’t bring herself to do it again; she resorted to shoving Sirius away, hitting and pounding at his chest where she could.

“You… complete… arrogant… selfish… FUCKS!”

Cracks appeared in Sirius’ heart, his shoulders sinking to block her blows but not to stop her. She fumed, using her full force to push him away and retreat a few steps.

“A bloody COMPETITION? I suppose it was all some grand joke to you two.” She was sobbing now, fresh tears streaming down her already puffy cheeks. “Let’s see if we can get the stupid, naïve girl to fall in love with us – was that it?”

She paused for only a second, not wishing for a response just now, “I should have seen something what with the both of you wanting to suddenly be best friends with me out of the blue – and at the exact same time!” She ran her fingers harshly into her hair, “And it was all a LIE.”

Sirius started to shake his head, but James beat him to the first spoken word, “It’s not like that, (Y/N), not anymore.”

“Not ANYMORE?”

“Honest,” James tried to continue, “At first it was just to see who’d you like more. And now we – we both – feel very, very different.”

(Y/N) had her hands on her hips, not even bothering to wipe away her tears. “And that’s supposed to redeem the fact you did it in the first place?”

“No! Of course not, it’s just…” he looked towards the paralyzed Sirius, “You need to know that regardless of the intentions, we’ve both developed very real feelings for you.”

“Real enough to forget about Lily Evans?” she practically shrieked, “Did the rebound work for you?”

James stuttered, unable to form a worthy enough response. But (Y/N) didn’t need it, the look on his face was good enough. She instead rounded on Sirius, “And you.”

He set his jaw but blinked a few times. The burning, yearning in his chest was now aching – destroying him from the inside out.

“I suppose you think it’s funny trying to kill me to get my attention.”

The air left his lungs, “I… I never – I could never – find that funny.” But the hatred in her eyes was so real he thought nothing he said would take it away. It made him want to cower. “It was foolish and accidental how you fell. It wasn’t supposed to go that far.”

But she didn’t want to hear it. How he wished he could wipe her face clear, to kiss the pain away.

James outstretched a hand, “Please, (Y/N) – let’s go sit and talk. Allow us to apologize.”

She immediately started to shake her head, “I don’t need an apology. I couldn’t trust it anyway. I just wanted to see the look on your faces when I told you my decision. That I’ve made my choice.” She contorted her face into an unflattering sneer, “That neither of you get to win.”

She retreater farther, edging towards the castle, “Don’t you dare speak to me. Don’t you dare look at me. From this day on, you don’t exist in my mind. And you’re going to keep it that way.”

James took a hesitant step towards her but knew it was too late. She was stumbling away, uneasy on her exhausted feet. He felt his own eyes burning, not realizing that tears were flooding them. He let out a breath that stuttered and whimpered.

Sirius thought he could describe without a doubt the feeling of your heart being torn from your chest. He was beyond tears, beyond regret. There was no way he could recover from the despair that now encumbered him. He turned to the pained looks of Remus and Peter.

He saw their lips moving but could hear no noise. He found he couldn’t catch his breath.

This quite possibly could be the biggest mistake that either of them will make in their entire lives.

~~~

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[futurequeenofravka]

Good Enough - Sirius x Reader

Summary:

After a spat with a Slytherin girl in your year, you’ve start to doubt your relationship with Sirius Black. While you are wildly in love with him, you start to question why he chose you, a “mudblood.”

Warnings: None, I don’t think? Just a little angsty!

A/N: this is my first piece! it’s a lil test of a fic I’d like to write eventually, and it was prompted by mmfd so I decided to tweak the dialogue from the show a little to make it wizarding world esque hahah. But I hope you enjoy! thank you so much for reading, this is the first time I’ve ever shared my creative writing online so please let me know what you think (also please send requests)! Also sorry if the formatting looks a lil weird, posting this from my phone made it kinda wonky.

Word count: 2.2k-ish words.

—

Pst. Psssst.

Sirius’s whisper grew louder until I looked over my shoulder to where he and James were sitting a few desks back from Lily and I. He tried to silently mouth a question as Professor Binns droned on about last night’s reading. James and Lily quietly laughed as they watched Sirius try to repeat himself a number of times before ultimately giving up. I shot him an apologetic look for my lip reading skills, or I guess lack thereof, as I watched him rip up a piece of parchment and scribble down a message. He waited for a spare moment in which Binns had his back turned to the class to write something on the chalkboard and then tossed the crumpled up piece of paper at me.

“What’s it say?” Lily asked as I unfolded the piece of parchment that Sirius had thrown my way.

“Blimey is he fucking annoying.” I said letting out a small laugh as I read the note.

“Well?” She leaned in closer trying to read the note from over my shoulder.

I slid the parchment across our shared desk so that she could read the message as well. Hi. I just wanted to say you look beautiful today. Meet me at the Astronomy Tower at 7? Lily sarcastically groaned as she slid the note back over to me and we pretended to go back to our class work. I turned back around to see Sirius intently waiting for my answer, I rolled my eyes at the silly gesture but smiled as I gave him a small nod to confirm our meeting later.

“You two are so sickly sweet sometimes, honestly I think I might have a toothache.” She said loud enough to provoke a laugh from James who eyed her from a few desks over.

“Beats the headache I get from watching you and Potter dodge your feelings for each other.” I retorted, quietly laughing as I tried to refocus my attention back to my textbook.

After class had ended I said bye to Lily as I made my way to the library to study for my potions exam. Sirius had already promised James that he’d come watch the Gryffindors practice for the upcoming Quidditch match so I’d have to study alone today, which I didn’t particularly mind because usually with Sirius around I hardly got any studying done. He pressed a kiss on my temple before we parted ways. When I got to the library I took a seat in the corner as usual and began to sprawl my textbooks across the table.

In the midst of studying I heard giggles from a herd of girls a few tables over. Looking over I met eyes with Ianthe, a Slytherin also in sixth year, who was sitting alongside Sirius’s cousins Bellatrix and Narcissa. Though I had never spoken more than a few words to either of them, I knew I was not favored in the Black household. If anything, they probably hated me; although Sirius would never burden me with that confirmation, I knew how his family felt about me and “my kind.”

Being muggle born was still a rarity at Hogwarts, and one that pureblood families often had strong feelings against. Lily and I became fast friends because of this. Being two of the only Muggle born students at Hogwarts made fitting in quite hard sometimes. There were often things that we didn’t understand or we lost on. We relied on Marlene, Alice, and Dorcas a lot for explanations and now as of recently on the “Marauders,” as they called themselves, as well. But it was comforting to have Lily around, to have someone who understood experiences unique to us. Someone who understood what it felt like to miss basic muggle things while away at school, like televisions or even just pens.

I rolled my eyes at the giggling girls and went back to reading the next chapter in my textbook. Several minutes passed before my studying was interrupted again, this time I looked up to see the three slender girls approaching my table, a wicked grin plastered across each of their faces as they surrounded my table.

“Can I help you?” I breathed looking up from my book.

“Yes actually. Would you mind backing off of Sirius?” Ianthe mused as she flipped her long blonde hair over her shoulder.

“Excuse me?” I asked, Bellatrix laughed at my response, a cackle echoing across the room.

“I thought dating you would just be his latest phase but it’s been almost 6 months. I expected that he’d come crawling back to me by now but you seem to be standing in my way.” Ianthe ran her fingers over my notes and shuffled my things around as she spoke.

“In your way of what? Stealing my boyfriend?”

“Precisely.” Narcissa chimed in from behind the blonde haired girl.

“Honestly, Y/N. It’s kind of pathetic how you constantly follow Sirius around like a puppy dog. One day I’m sure he’ll bore of having a little pet mudblood and finally come back to his senses.” Bellatrix said, her tone was cold and cruel as she knocked over a few of my things and proceeded with a sarcastic oops.

“I mean our families have been practically planning our wedding since before we were even born.” Ianthe said trying to refocus my attention back on her.

“Shove off, the lot of you.” I said trying to ignore anymore of their remarks.

“Feisty today aren’t we, Y/N. I would’ve never expected such boldness from a filthy little mud blood.” Bellatrix said cackling again.

“Just leave me alone please.” My voice strained this time.

“You really do ruin all the fun, don’t you, Y/L/N? But before we go, I just have to ask, dear. Does our darling Padfoot still like to have his neck kissed? You know, just above that mole.” Ianthe tapped her finger to the side of her neck.

“You’re all sick.”

“Maybe but at least we don’t have dirty blood.”

My heart beat fast as I picked up my belongings from off the ground, desperately trying to get out of the library as quickly as possible. I ran through the corridors back toward Gryffindor tower, tears welling up in my eyes and slowly beginning to fall despite my best efforts to hold them back. I ran past the other students and back to my dormitory praying that it would actually be empty for once. It was not. Lily was sat on her bed reading a book when she looked up to see me tears running down my face while I tried to keep a cool demeanor. Her face cloaked in worry as she asked if I was okay, her words triggered a visceral reaction as I finally let myself break down in tears. She came over to me and brought me back to her bed and hugged me for a moment, stroking my back waiting until I was ready to speak.

After my sobs and sniffles had mostly come to a stop I recounted the entirety of what had happened in the library. Sharing the words exchanged between me and the three Slytherin girls and the doubt that now seeped into my mind. Lily fumed, her anger rising as she listened to me talk about what had happened.

“Y/N, you don’t actually believe that do you?” She asked, her face still cloaked with worry.

“I mean why shouldn’t I? She’s right, I’ve seen the way people look at us.”

“What does it matter what they think?”

“It’s not what they think, it’s the fact that they’re right. You know exactly how Sirius’ family is, I’m probably just another conquest to him. Girls like Ianthe were bred to marry boys like him, to protect their bloodlines. They’ve basically been betrothed since birth, Lily!”

“Sirius is his own person. He is not his family. You should know better than anyone that that boy lives to break rules. And I seriously doubt it but if he doesn’t appreciate how absolutely brilliant you are just because you were muggle born then he’s not worth your time.”

I knew Lily was right, it was rare that she wasn’t. But my mind still wandered to a dark place that echoed with Ianthe’s comments. She stayed with me for another hour or so before she got ready to go over to the Great Hall for dinner. I didn’t realize how long we had been sitting in the dorm. I looked over at the clock surprised to see it was almost 7. I promised Sirius I’d meet him in the astronomy tower soon. Surely I couldn’t face him after what had just happened but my heart hurt thinking about standing him up.

“You going to be alright?” Lily asked before heading out the door.

“Don’t worry about me, I’ll see you later.” I reassured her.

“Alright, if you need anything just give a shout.”

I sighed as she closed the door and headed off. I looked down at my mascara stained sleeves and quickly changed into a clean shirt and wiped away the smeared makeup from beneath my eyes. Regardless of how I felt, I had to face Sirius.

I walked through the empty halls over to the Astronomy tower. Springtime at Hogwarts had an underrated charm to it. The weather was ideal, chill but not too cold. Tonight was no different, the air tonight was crisp, the wind blew gently through my hair as I made my way up the winding staircase. When I made it to the very top I saw Sirius gazing across the school grounds. His face looking intently over the beautifully crafted buildings and through the lush forests around us. I stayed silent for a minute just to admire him. The handsome playboy that I always thought I loathed but whom had somehow not only stolen my heart but had also become my best friend.

When he finally sensed my presence he turned around, my heart fluttered just looking at the kind, dopey smile wiped across his face as he held out his hand for me. When I grabbed it, he pulled me in close. My face buried into his chest as he held me for a minute. I looked behind him to see a blanket laid across the ground a small picnic set up for us.

“Remus helped me bribe the house elves into sneaking me some food so we could have dinner up here.” He excitedly motioned over to the set up.

“It looks lovely, Sirius.” I spoke softly as if my words could be broken with just a tap.

“What’s wrong? Oh Merlin, you hate it, don’t you?” He asked worriedly.

“No it’s not that, it really is lovely. I just, I just don’t get it.”

“Get what?”

“Why you’re doing this for me. You’re a pureblood and I’m...I’m a mudblood.” I took a step away from him, letting go on my grasp on his hand.

“What does that have to do with anything? You know I’ve never cared about any of that.”

“You should be going out with someone like Ianthe, not someone like me. Most people when they see us must be thinking, ‘oh he must be mad going out with that.’”

“That what” he said before raising his voice to echo the question, “that what?”

“You know exactly what, Sirius. Everyone does.”

“What the fuck are you on about? What does everyone have to do with how I feel about you? You don’t get to tell me who I can and can’t fancy. That’s mine and mine alone. Now are you going to stop being a git or what?”

“Stop calling me a git, you’re the git.” I said trying to shove him away but his hands grasped my wrists before I could make my move.

Before I could say another word he crashed his lips into mine. His hands now releasing his grip on my wrists and instead caressing my face. Sirius had kissed me many times before but never with such urgency, like his life depended on it. Like if he didn’t kiss me in this exact moment that he’d never get to again. My hands now pressed up against his chest pulling him in closer to me as I savored the taste of him until we were breathless.

“You’re the git.” I whispered as we pressed our foreheads together, he let out a small laugh at my comment before he spoke again.

“Those twats, they aren’t my family. You are.” His thumb caressing my cheek softly.

“Sirius, I just—“

“You are my family.” He said firmly cutting me off before I could finish my sentence.

“Okay, you say that now but I just hate the idea that you’re choosing me over them. I don’t want you to wake up one day and regret your choice and start to resent me forever. I mean they’re your family, Sirius.” I rambled as doubt still riddled my brain.

“Y/N, listen to me, I will always choose you. I choose you today, tomorrow, and I’ll choose you forever for the rest of our lives. You are the only thing in this entire world I care about.”

“Can I quote you on that?”

“Yes, just maybe not to James, Remus, and Peter. I think they might burst into tears.” He let out loud laugh as he responded to my question.

“I won’t lie, I’d like to see that.”

“I bet you would. Now can we please eat dinner, I paid off the house elves 10 galleons each just so that they would make your favorite!”



[harrytpotter]

A 100 Years of Love — One-Shot

Plot: James Potter asks Y/N - his best friend - for advice on how to impress a certain girl he fancies, unbeknownst to him that she was hopelessly in love with him.

Pairing: James Potter x Fem!Reader

A/N: Here i am twice in the same day with a new James imagine, because that’s how obsessed with him I am! Hope you guys like it, and please keep in mind that English isn’t my mother language, hence any probable grammar mistake. :)

Being a sixth year at Hogwarts was bittersweet. As much as you were happy that studies were almost over and so were the anguish concerns about exams, grades and graduating, you were also undeniably sad as you could feel the end of it all approaching at a fast pace. To think you soon wouldn’t be able to wander through the castle’s hallways after curfew with your friends, feeling the thrill of not knowing whether you’d be catched or not; to think you wouldn’t party hard with them at the Gryffindor tower after a Quidditch win; to think you wouldn’t be surrounded by your friends 24 hours a week; and, lastly but most importantly, to think you wouldn’t be seeing him often, it just... hurt. Not that seeing him every single day didn’t hurt at all. Specially since the gossip that he fancied one of your best friends had spreaded like wildfire through the school about a year ago. Sighing heavily, you close your book and set it aside as you leant against the thick trunk of a three, staring at the sunny sky above you.

“Y/N L/N, just the person I’ve been looking for!” An overly-confident male voice shouted from behind you. You didn’t have to look to know who it was, feeling his arrogant smirk radiating through the air.

“What now, Potter? Lily isn’t here, in case you haven’t noticed,” you tease your friend, a grin on your face trying to mask the twinge of sad that hit your heart as you said that.

“I may wear glasses but it doesn’t mean I’m blind, you know?!” He shrugs, a grimace stamped on his face as he sat in front of you. “Would you help a friend out, love?” He adds with a wink.

“Well, I’ll regret saying yes to you, won’t I?” You frown with conformity. It’s not like you could say no to him anyway.

“Excuse me? Since when saying yes to me gets you in any sort of trouble, darling?” He smirks sneakily at you, his hand in his chest in mock offense.

“Aren’t you a complete arse, James Potter?!” You roll your eyes at him, but can’t stop a grin from taking over your lips.

“Oh, please, you know you love me,” he winks at you, causing you to get all flustered. That was the problem with James: he was a flirt by nature. That’s just who he was, he couldn’t help it. It was simply a trait of his personality. He would flirt aimlessly without even noticing he was doing so. He couldn’t be blamed. Still, it didn’t help to ease the effect it — and he — had on you.

“Just say what you bloody want already,” you sigh.

“So, there’s this girl I’ve been trying to impress for quite some time now but, bugger me, she doesn’t seem to give a single shite about me at all,” he starts, staring intensely into your eyes.

“Have it occurred to you that maybe, just maybe, she’s not that into your arrogant self?” You tease, cutting him off.

“Merlin’s beard, would you let me finish before judging, woman?” He rolled his eyes at you. “As I was saying, I need to win her over before a git gets in the way of our love story.”

“Love story? Seriously?” You laughed even though you didn’t feel an ounce of amusement in your body. “James, look, i don’t mean to discourage you or anything, but are you sure it’s not the time to give up?” You shoot him a sympathetic glance. Lily really didn’t seem to care about him at all, just like he said. Of course you couldn’t know it for sure, since you were so bloody afraid to ask her if she liked him back, but you knew your best friend. She would’ve sent him signs by now if she too was interested. At least that’s what you hoped, since the last thing you wanted was to be head over heels for the same guy your best friend was smitten with.

“I’m not known to give up that easily, love. Besides, I can’t seem to back away from this, and believe me, I’ve tried,” he stated, his eyes distant as he was lost inside his own head.

You feel a sudden anger at him. Despite your deep infatuation for James and the friendship the two of you shared, Lily was your best friend and you didn’t like the sound of what he just said. “Oh, so that’s what it’s all about to you? A challenge? Some kind of game?”

“No! Y/N, no...” he quickly exclaims, snapping back to reality. “She’s much more than that. She’s... she makes me feel things, you know?! Things I’ve never even known that were possible to feel. She annoys me, teases me, makes me go mad of desire and despair every time she smiles at me and... Merlin, that smile! I swear to you that it’s the prettiest thing I’ve ever seen in my life. Every time she walks in it’s just like... I’m staring at the sun, she makes everything so much brighter. She makes life so much brighter. She drives me nuts. Damn, I’m in love!” He blurts out, his face filled with devotion, admiration and a burning passion.

Every word that got out of his mouth was like a stab right into your heart. Hearing he say those things hurt more than you ever thought it would. This was the first time he had ever admitted his feelings towards Lily to you, even though you were his best friend. You stared at the grass whilst taking a deep breath, cautiously making sure you’d be able to hide the hurt in your voice and eyes before you could look at him or speak again.

“Well, sounds like you’re serious about her,” you smiled softly at him. It didn’t reach your eyes but you made sure he wouldn’t notice that. “Orange petals lilies,” you add after a while. “In some muggle cultures lilies are tied to 100 years of love. They are also tied to good luck. Plus they mean infatuation, attraction and admiration. Pretty much what you just said you feel. I think it’s very suitable,” you managed to squeeze his arm reassuringly, showing him he had your support. Afraid that you would be unable to keep repressing the sadness that threatened to take you over, you get up and start walking, leaving a thoughtful James behind.

“Thank you, L/N!” He shouts.

“Anytime, Potter,” you answer without turning back to face him, quickening your pace as the tears began to flood your eyes.

***

After your conversation with James, it looked like he and Lily were everywhere you went. Whispering secretively, giggling together in the corners of the castle. Painfully reminding you that you weren’t the one for him. Like now. You couldn’t stop but staring at them, not sure whether to feel happy or bitter.

“Seeing anything interesting?” Sirius snook up on you, whispering into your year, causing you to jump in fright.

“Merlin! You scared me, you daft dimbo!” You slap him in the head with the book you had in your hands.

“Ouch! I’m not the one you’re mad at, should i remind you!” He exclaimed vigorously, protecting his head with his arm.

“I’m not mad at anyone!” You shoot angrily, hitting him again with your book.

“Would you stop hitting me, for Merlin’s sake?”

“What’s going on here?” Lily asks. When you turn around to face her, you’re met by hers and James’ inquisitively stares.

“Just a little PDA, right Black?!” You smirk ironically at him, leaving before anyone else could say anything.

“What just happened?” Remus asked intrigued whilst approaching the little group of friends, joining Sirius, Lily and James in watching you disappear into the castle.

“That, my friend, is what jealousy can do to a person,” Sirius shrugged, a grimace on.

“What do you mean by that?” James asks, frowning in confusion.

“I mean that she was staring at you and Lily, mate,” Sirius winked at his best friend.

“But why would she be jealous at all?” He shrugged, even more confused.

“Boys can be so stupid sometimes,” Lily rolls her eyes at him, clearly amused at his obliviousness.

As James continued to look confuse, Remus intervened: “The rumors. About you and Lily.”

“Oh!” He opened his mouth in realization, soon looking confused again. “But these rumors just started because Lily and I were spending more time together as she was advising me to act on my feelings and confess them to Y/N!” He shrugged.

“But she doesn’t know that, does she now genius?” Lily smacked the back of his head with her hand.

“WAIT!” James shouts suddenly, gaining a frown from the little crowd. “Does- does it mean she... likes me?” He asks, his eyes twinkling with hope.

“Prongs... what have we been telling you for the past year, you idiot?” Remus shook his head in disbelief at his friend.

“Well, I assumed you were all just saying that so I could grow the courage and ask her out,” he shrugged.

“You’re more stupid than people give you credit for, do you know that?” Lily crossed her arms in front of her chest, rolling her eyes and smiling.

James stood there for a few seconds before speeding off towards the near mirror that held a secret passage to Hogsmeade behind it.

“Where exactly are you going?” Remus shouted at his friend.

“To secure myself a 100 years of love!” He shouted back, a wide grin shining on his face.

“Has he gone mental?” Sirius asked Remus and Lily, a brow furrowed.

“Hasn’t he always been?” Lily retorts, causing all three of them to explode in a laughter.

***

“Oi! L/N!” James shouted from behind you and you slowed your pace so he could catch up with you.

“Don’t you have someone else to torture?” You ask him, playfully rolling your eyes, once he was walking beside you.

“Probably, but I choose you,” he winks and stops in front of you, both of his hands rested on your shoulders.

“Lucky me!” You raise your brows ironically.

“Always so sweet, huh love?” He laughs and you can feel your knees trembling. “Anyway, just wanted to let you know that today is the day!” He winks at you suggestively before turning around and leaving you.

You stare at him in confusion and shrug before continue to walk to your destination. He could be quite weird sometimes.

***

As you approached the door of the dorm you shared with Lily, Marlene and Alice, your eyes spot a beautiful vase full of orange lilies inside. “Just wanted to let you know that today is the day!” James’ words crept back to your mind as you stared at the beautiful flowers. This was it. The day he would finally confess his feelings to Lily and ask her out. With your eyes filled with tears, you duck a little and pick up the vase, getting inside the dorm. You let out a sigh of relief as you realized it was empty, putting the flowers carefully on top of Lily’s nightstand and locking yourself into the bathroom, finally allowing the tears to fall violently down your face.

Casting a silencing spell so no one could hear you, you stare at your broken self in the mirror. “This is the last time you’ll ever cry for him. The last time you’ll allow yourself to feel anything other than friendship for him. He’s smitten with Lily and they deserve to be happy together,” you say to your reflection before prepping yourself to get into the bath to take a relaxing and long shower.

After changing into your pajamas and making sure you looked presentable and your eyes weren’t swollen of puffed, you remove the silencing spell and unlock yourself out of the bathroom. Lily was sitting in your bed waiting for you, the flowers and a card in hand. You pressed your lower lip between your teeth to suppress the wave of sadness forming inside of you once again. Of course she’d want to tell you that James had finally asked her out and talk about it, you were her best friend after all.

“Nice flowers,” you say whilst sitting by her side and pulling your pillow into your lap.

“I do think they’re nice myself, I just don’t understand why would you put your nice flowers on my nightstand,” she frowns with a smirk.

“I’m sorry? My flowers?” You ask her, confused.

“Well, aren’t you Y/N L/N?” She offers you the card.

“Yes, but... these are not for me! James sent them to you!” You raise your hands in denial, not even bothering to pick up the card nor look at it.

“Merlin help me! If you bothered yourself to look at the bloody card you’d see it doesn’t say Lily Evans on the envelope,” she rolls her eyes, swinging the card in front of your face.

Reluctantly, you grab the card from her hand and look at its envelope. It had your name in the back of it, written in James’ calligraphy. Your heart started pounding furiously inside your chest as you opened it in shock. Inside of it, there was a little note from him. You start reading it out loud so Lily could hear it, noticing the curious glare she was sending you.

“Hello, my little private sun!

If I, by any chance, make your life as brighter as you make mine, please meet me on the top of the Astronomy Tower at twelve o’clock sharp. I really hope you can make it, love. There’s something I need to properly tell you.

Yours and yours only, Prongs.”

You stood there staring at the parchment, your mouth wide open. Did it mean he liked you? What about Lily? What about the gossiping?

“Well...” Lily swing her head inquisitively. As you continued to stand still, staring at the note with a dumbfounded look, she adds impatiently, “just go, woman!”

Glancing at the watch on your nightstand, you jump out of bed. 11:50 pm.

“Damn you, Potter!” You exclaim before speeding off the dorm, hearing Lily’s screams of excitement behind you.

You ran through the castle’s hallways as fast as you could, as if your life depended on it. The paintings and portraits on the walls shouted words of annoyance as you passed by them in a blur with your wand lit up, but you couldn’t care less. You couldn’t care about being caught. You couldn’t care about Filch or McGonagall, let alone the detention you’d be rewarded with by her if any of them surprised you out of bed at this late hour of night. All you cared about was getting to James. He was always all you cared about.

***

James glanced at his wrist and let out a sigh, it was 00:05 am and you still haven’t showed up. Sitting on the floor, he stares at the stunningly starred night sky. He felt a tightening in his stomach. What if all of your friends were wrong and you only saw him as a friend? Before he could torture himself any longer with his despairing thoughts, he hears the door crackling open and gets up, turning around to face a breathless Y/N.

“You came!” He exclaims softly, gazing at you with relief.

“Where else would I be you idiot?” You frown happily at him, closing the door behind you and taking a look at your surroundings.

The walls had been enchanted by James to look like the night sky outside, a similar spell seen in the ceiling of the Great Hall. Stars were twinkling brightly all around you and the floor was covered in orange lilies.

“Wow, Potter, you really outdone yourself here, didn’t you?” You looked amazed at him.

“I might have had a little help from Flitwick and Minnie, you know, us being their favorite students and all...” James joked teasingly as he started to walk slowly towards you.

“I guess being the teachers favorites really has its perks,” you frown playfully, slowly walking in his direction as well. “I believe you have something you need to properly tell me?”

“Oh, yes! About that, I wanted to thank you for your help with the girl I’m madly in love with. It worked out smoothly!” He winked, causing you to laugh.

“‘m always happy to help you! Hope she‘s worth the trouble.”

“Oh, don’t worry about that, she totally is! In fact, she’s so worthy that there’s nothing I wouldn’t do to win her over.”

“And why all of this determination in winning her heart? If I’m allowed to ask,” your narrow your eyes, that held a burning fire inside of it.

“Because she’s all I can think about and all I care about. She’s in my head when I wake up and still is in my head when I go to sleep. She’s bloody stubborn and challenging and annoying and... Merlin, I love her,” he says playfully and tenderly as you finally are in front of each other, faces merely inches apart. He rested his hands on your waist, tightening his grip as he did so.

“That’s good to know,” you whisper, staring at his eyes, breathing unsteadily whilst landing your hands on his chest.

“And why is that?” He asks, his eyes swinging from your eyes to your lips.

“Because she can’t stop thinking about this arrogant, overly-confident stupid boy either. And she also loves him, so much it consumes her,” you answer, staring at his lips hungrily.

“Are you being serious right now? I mean, are- are you sure? I don’t wanna pressure you or-,” he starts, looking into your eyes nervously with a longing frown. Not even resembling the self-assured Quidditch team captain and most popular guy in Hogwarts.

You chuckle lightly at his adorable worried face and bite your lower lip whilst smiling sweetly at him.

“Of course I’m sure, you blind daft! Just kiss me already, for Merlin’s sake!” You exclaim, pulling him by his shirt collar into a passionate kiss.

[salazarslytherin]

player, heartbreaker (wolfstar)

requested: nope! written for @acosmis-t ’s writing challenge! send in your own request here

summary: in which sirius breaks remus’ heart- not for the first time, but definitely the last.

prompts: 6. “i love you.”, “no you don’t” 8. “how was i such an idiot, to believe that you, out of all people, could ever love me?” 13. “maybe they were right. you never did change.”

cw/tw: angst, cheating, just tears, and a whole lot of em

word count: 2.4k

🃛 masterlist!

a/n: if you enjoyed this oneshot please consider reblogging and/or dropping me a follow! it’ll help me out a lot :)

I love you.

Those three words meant so much to Remus. Shunned by so many throughout his life, coming to Hogwarts and feeling the warm embrace of friendship and the overwhelming amounts of love that came with it made him lightheaded, feeling as if he were floating on air.

Those three words had made Remus excuse so much. Times he’d gotten in trouble with McGonagall because of a stupid prank Sirius had pulled and blamed on him.

“She’ll pull me out of quidditch for this! You’re the perfect student, she’ll let you off the hook! I love you Moony!”

Remus wasn’t let off the hook, but he never held it against Sirius.

Dangerous and idiotic pranks were forgiven- like the Full Moon Incident with Snape in fifth year. The Black heir had grovelled and apologised, spending many nights on his knees, begging for Remus’ forgiveness.

“Moony I’m so sorry, I was just, infuriated by the sheer audacity of Snivellus. I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness, but I love you, and I would do anything to prove to you that I can make it up to you.”

It took another full moon for Remus to forgive him, but he never forgot the heartbreak and betrayal that the incident had brought him.

Yet, he didn’t hold it against him. Because it was Sirius Black.

The first boy to show him friendship, the first boy to show him affection, the first boy to show him love.

⚔︎.

Not long after the Incident, the love between the two had blossomed- growing from a platonic, brotherly love to one that was more complicated.

One was the Prince of Gryffindor; the biggest player and heartbreaker that Hogwarts had seen in decades. Flirting and fucking girls and boys alike, Sirius Black left behind him a trail of tears and heartbreak. Yet he was never resented for it, because that’s just who he was.

Sirius Black, the serial heartbreaker.

The other was quiet. The most unassuming member of the Marauders- studious and always willing to help others regardless of house and year. A Werewolf littered with scars, but the gentlest person you could ever meet. Remus Lupin was the kindest soul you could find, but vicious when you needed him to be. Although quiet, he was charming and outgoing, the kind of person you could have a beer with, but also come to for your troubles.

Remus Lupin, the kindest boy at Hogwarts.

The two were best friends, but perhaps there was always a little bit more.

Sirius was openly bisexual, flamboyant and flaunting of his sexuality, he flirted with anyone and everyone.

Rumour has it he tried to flirt Filch out of detention once.

Remus was gay, but only told others when asked. He didn’t think his sexuality was anyone’s business, perhaps except his and his partner’s only.

As a result of these two polar opposites that were too similar for their own good, there was always an underlying sense of attraction. Remus would watch Sirius from behind a book, smiling at his jokes, laughing at his antics.

Sirius always admired Remus’ scars, equating them with bravery and beauty.

One day, the attraction had just clicked, and the words “I love you Moony” became “I’m in love with you, Moony.”

The stolen glances turned into shared, lingering looks in classes after a make-out session in an alcove- Remus turning red when he realised he was wearing Sirius’ shirt instead of his own, one that was just a tad bit too small for the Werewolf, then vermillion when someone pointed out a hickey Sirius had left on his neck.

Nights were no longer lonely– neither of the two was plagued with nightmares anymore as, much like the year before, many nights were spent with Sirius on his knees- albeit under very, very different circumstances.

⚔︎.

Not long after they had gotten together, Gryffindor won yet another quidditch match against Slytherin, and a Marauders party had exploded in the Common Room. Students from every house, save for Slytherin, partied the night away with bottles of firewhiskey and cake from the house elves, which ended up more on people’s faces than in their mouths.

Remus, not one to “party hard” like Sirius or James, found himself sitting on the window seat, chatting with passersby, sipping on a cup of firewhiskey while watching his friends on the dance floor.

“Hey there Lupin. Not out there with the rest of your marauders?”

Lily sat herself down next to Remus, clutching her own firewhiskey as she watched her boyfriend dance with Remus’, Peter bouncing awkwardly between the two.

“Not really feeling up for it. Why aren’t you out there yourself? Thought you’d be out dancing with James, you two seem awfully close these days.”

A blush graced Lily’s face, coughing slightly to cover her embarrassment as she turned to face her fellow prefect.

“Well, you and Black seem awfully close yourselves. Are you actually dating him?”

From anyone else, Remus would’ve thought the question rude and blunt, intrusive, even. But over the years, he began counting Lily Evans a friend almost as close as the Marauders, so he shrugged, and let it slide.

“Maybe. What’s it to you?”

The redhead shrugged, looking out onto the dance floor where a Ravenclaw had grabbed onto Sirius, grinding onto his front as the Gryffindor seemed to welcome him, holding his hips close to his own, the pair lost in the music.

“I just worry about you, Remus. I know you two are best friends, and you should always trust the people you’re with, but, we all know what Black’s like. I don’t want to see you become one of the ones he leaves behind.”

Remus clenched his jaw at the sight of Nathan Sulzer grinding on his boyfriend, his heart clenching slightly as Sirius did nothing to stop him.

“I’ll be fine Lily.”

James wandered towards the two of them, pressing a kiss to Lily’s lips as he shoved Remus lightly on the shoulder.

“Alright, Moony?”

Remus felt his heart break slightly as Nathan peppered kisses on Sirius’ neck, the same spots he had kissed that very morning before the quidditch match. James followed the werewolf’s gaze as he failed to reply, his own fist clenching in response.

“Merlin Moony, I’m so sorry. I swear I thought he would’ve changed for you. I love that man but I swear he can be so thick somedays.”

Remus shook his head, feeling tears well up that he willed away, putting down the cup and pushing himself off the seat.

“It’s fine. I’m going to head upstairs first. G’night you two.”

“I love you Moony.”

“Love you too Prongs. Night Lil.”

⚔︎.

That was not the night Sirius Black broke Remus Lupin’s heart for the last time. Later that night, the beater had come up, small hickeys staining his neck and collar overturned as he begged Remus for his forgiveness.

“I was so drunk baby I didn’t even realise what he was doing. Just celebrating, I didn’t even know who I was dancing with! I love you so much Re I’m so sorry. It will never happen again.”

Remus forgave him. He always did.

After all, this was Sirius Black he was faced with.

And if we know anything, it’s that Remus Lupin always forgave Sirius Black.

Later that week, when Nathan Sulzer came to Remus to ask for help with a transfiguration essay, he merely turned and walked away, causing Nathan to wonder what he’d done to earn the ire of the kindest boy in Hogwarts.

⚔︎.

It was the last day of exams in sixth year. Remus and Peter, being the only ones in the Marauders to take NEWT level Ancient Runes, were the last to finish their exams. Excitedly discussing what was to come in the summer as well as the final weeks of school, the two made their way back to Gryffindor tower.

“So what are you doing over the summer Wormy? Have your parents settled on a vacation spot yet, or are you going to finally stay around for once?”

Peter smiled softly, shrugging as he clutched his books to his chest.

“I’m not really sure, but I think we should be around for the last few weeks. You’re staying with Prongs and Padfoot for a while, right? I think I’ll probably be able to join you if you’re still there by the time I get-”

The pair’s conversation was cut short as they ascended the stairs to their dorm, hearing a piercing feminine moan coming from their room.

“Merlin, never pegged Lily for the vocal type.”

Peter frowned, uncomfortable.

“Clearly you’ve not been around the Potter household when she stays with Prongs during Christmas. ”

Shuddering, their soft laughter was cut short as footsteps thundered up the stairs behind them, muscular arms landing on the two Marauders’ shoulders.

“Alright, lads! Finally finished with your exams?”

James Fleamont Potter stood behind his two fellow Marauders in all his glory, making the boys freeze in their actions.

“I- you-”

Remus’ mind was moving a mile a minute, the reality clocking in but he refused to admit it. This had to be some sort of a sick prank.

“If you’re out here, then who’s that in there having sex with Lily?!”

Peter pointed at the door, the confusion and adrenaline running through the three boys making them miss the soft moan of ‘Sirius’ coming from behind the doors.

“What?! Nobody better be having sex with my Lily!”

The heavy wooden doors flew open as James kicked it with all his might, revealing Emmeline Vance naked and on top of the one and only, Sirius Black.

“Padfoot?!” emerged out of Peter’s mouth at the same time as the words “That’s not Lily!” came from James’, before reality dawned upon the two, turning to face the werewolf.

“Get out.”

“Moony I-”

For the first time in a long time, Remus felt a fire rise in his stomach, his temper snapping as he threw his books on the ground.

“All of you, get out!”

The werewolf’s head snapped up at the naked boy on the bed, who was stealing fearful glances at the girl quickly redressing next to him.

“Except you, Black.”

⚔︎.

Sirius had awkwardly finished putting on his clothes as Remus stood beside his own bed, feeling nothing, his previous anger had sizzled out and left him hollow.

“Moony I-”

“I don’t want to hear you speak. I don’t, I just,”

A memory flashed by Remus’ mind, that party after Gryffindor’s first win of the year. Lily’s words echoing in his mind: we all know what Black’s like.

“Maybe they were right. You never did change.”

A cold laugh emerged from the prefect’s lips, looking up at the ceiling he’d become so familiar with over the past year. The one he’d studied night after night with Sirius in his arms, the one he’d memorised when he wondered whether he did anything wrong when Sirius apologised to him for this thing or that, breaking his heart bit by bit, day by day.

“How was I such an idiot, to believe that you, of all people, could ever love me? Sirius Black, prince of Gryffindor. The biggest player Hogwarts has ever seen, the biggest heartbreaker there’s ever been!”

Remus continued laughing his emotionless laugh, one that made Sirius wince and shudder. It was so unlike him, so hollow, so cruel.

Nothing like his Remus.

“Of course I love you Moony. I love you.”

Sirius made his way over to Remus, his calloused hands reaching out towards Remus’ scarred ones.

“No you don’t.”

Remus’ hand was enveloped for a mere second, the familiar warmth begging him to stay before his sinking heart reminded him of the hurt he was pushed under by those same hands, and ripped himself away.

“If you loved me, you would never have done this. If you loved me, you’d never have made me doubt whether you really wanted to be with me. If you’d loved me,”

Remus looked at Sirius for the first time since James and Peter left the room. As their eyes met, Remus felt the tears welling in the grey eyes he loved so dearly pulling at his heartstrings, clenching his jaw before continuing, willing his own tears not to fall.

“We wouldn’t be here. I was in love with you, but you were in love with the idea of me. The chase, the excitement of a relationship you couldn’t flaunt all across the halls.”

Muted ‘no’s and soundless protests were made as Sirius fell to his knees in front of Remus for the umpteenth time that year, but this time out of desperation, an attempt to salvage something that couldn’t be salvaged.

“But you got tired, and you found the excitement in sneaking around with others. Pushing the boundaries to see how far you could get without being caught.”

Tears fell freely from Sirius’ eyes now, clutching onto Remus’ trousers as he cried out.

“That’s not it. Please Re, I love you, I love you so much. You’re everything for me, my home, my only. Please don’t do this.”

Remus’ own eyes flew shut, but he continued, tears escaping as rapidly as the words did.

“And now you’ve gotten caught. I hope it was worth it, because I’m done forgiving you. I’m just so, so done. I’m tired of not being good enough for you, I’m tired of second guessing myself and wondering why you end up in other people’s arms.”

Sirius shook his head fervently, incoherent words and sobs wracked from his throat as he hugged Remus’ legs with more strength than he knew he had, shaking his head at the werewolf’s words.

“You know, I would’ve done anything for you. I forgave you each and every time you crawled back to me. No matter how many times you broke my heart, I turned to putty in your hands every time you told me ‘I love you’.”

Remus’ hands landed on the boy’s shoulders for the last time, a motion so familiar, yet so foreign at the same time, pulling him away. He took Sirius’ chin into his hand, tilting his head up to meet his tearfully hopeful eyes.

“I love you Remus.”

Desperation dripped from the animagus' voice, his eyes searching Remus' face for one last bit of mercy, one last "I love you".

“I love you Sirius. But I don’t want to love you any longer.”

[nothing-at-the-moment]

Rewrite The Stars IV

“Thank you for helping me with Alchemy last night.”

It was a Saturday morning. A much needed break from all the mounting homework the students of Hogwarts had been put through.

Y/N, Remus, Sirius and Peter were sitting in the great hall eating breakfast when Remus was left speechless at the claim made at him.

He raised a suspicious brow to his soulmate and thought back to the events of last night.

He had talked to her till midnight before retiring to his bed while James and Sirius had been awake till early hours of the morning. Sirius had slept at two but James was awake till around three in the morning. Nobody knows how Sirius is still chipper after getting barely four hours of sleep while James was still in the Gryffindor dormitory sleeping off his tiredness after his late night adventures.

“I really appreciate you staying awake just to help me with the fucking  gold spell.”, Y/N said with an exhausted strain in her voice which she tried to drown out by tilting her head back to finish the last bits of her morning coffee.

Sirius watched the interaction with great curiosity while Peter slept with his head on the table. There’s no concept like enough sleep for that boy.

“…I don’t take Alchemy. I opted out of it at the start of the year.”, Remus said cautiously as he could suspect something was wrong.

Sirius’s eyes widened.

“That can’t be possible. You helped me last night with the gold spell. You helped me. We were talking through our thoughts. You helped me complete the Alchemy homework.” Y/N’s voice grew more confused and loud with every word.

This can’t be happening. Her soulmate had stayed up with late at night till three in the morning helping her with Alchemy. And he seemed quite brilliant at the subject.

“Holy Shit…”, Sirius exclaimed with widened eyes and an even wider open mouth.

Remus looked over at Sirius with horror. Sirius’s head whipped frantically from side to side looking at both their expressions. Y/N looked like she hadn’t quite comprehended what this means and was still trying to process. Remus looked absolutely devastated. He looked like he was on the verge of crying with tears pooling at the corner of his eyes.

It’s like the whole Great Hall grew silent while the chatters and the occasional laugh still drifted through the room. Remus and Y/N were completely silent while all the noises; thud of footsteps, the constantly growing chatter around them, clanking of spoons and forks on plates, slurping of tea and coffee, even the mere sound of gulping, the sound of everyone happy became too overbearing as they came to terms with their sudden realization.

They were not soulmates.

Remus started sweating as he couldn’t sit between the continuous commotion and felt claustrophobic with the crowds around him. His breaths came out quick and heavy as he processed the thought in his mind and his throat closed up. Everything was becoming too hot around him and he couldn’t breathe.

Y/N, in complete contrast, had lost all sense of warmth from the happy and bright sunshine and lazy hue that entered the Great Hall through the big windows on either sides of the room. She felt goose bumps run up her arms and couldn’t help but shiver at the sudden emptiness. It was like she had been hollowed out in a few mere seconds. Her throat too closed up but she didn’t care right now to breathe. If you don’t watch closely at her every slight movement, you could see she was barely breathing.

Her eyes refused to blink while Remus’s blinked rapidly trying to make sense of the abrupt halt in his life.

Both their wrist’s tingled.

Remus’s jerked his head to look at the thoughts of his soulmate hoping against hope that it wasn’t true, hoping that his wrist hadn’t displayed in thick black cursive, just the words ‘Good Morning.’

Y/N still couldn’t muster up the courage to look at her wrist, afraid of what she might find.

Sirius quickly glanced at her wrist to find a stick figure of a tall boy high in the clouds on his latest model of broomstick.

Figures only appeared to show what the soulmate was dreaming of while asleep.

“I need to go.” Y/N simply said with her voice barely above a whisper. She quickly scrambled awkwardly to get up and swiftly made her way out of the room.

Tear pooled at the corner of her eyes as she took a quick glance at Remus and left without another word.  She had just started to calm down when her wrist tingled again. She couldn’t bear to look at it now. All those thoughts, all those late night talks which she treasured like an unspoken secret, all the love and warmth she felt from Remus and all the smiles his absurd but intelligent thoughts brought to her lips, had all been someone else’s.

She should’ve known. Remus wasn’t ever interested in Quidditch the least bit. He wasn’t always thinking of crazy pranks to pull up on Professor Flitwick. He wasn’t ever the cheesiest person to exist, showing her dreams of running away together and thinking way far into the future.

Remus’s love was more warm and calm and soothing. Her soulmate’s was anything but.

Her soulmate’s love was probably the most chaotic, cheesiest, dramatic, arrogant and obnoxious. Her soulmate’s love was crazy and she reveled in the insanity.

She ran all the way to the courtyard where it had started raining. Of course it would start raining. Her life hasn’t been anything but cliché ever since she came back to school this year.

She wanted her soulmate. She wanted all of him. All the crazy thoughts brewing in his mastermind, all his quirks which she were sure he has, all the cheesy pick-up lines he used on her, all the promises he made her, all the flaws she had noticed he has, all the arrogance which reflected on her wrist when he thought about how good he looked in the mirror at early morning, all the early morning thoughts because she knew her soulmate was an early riser, all the late nights because she knew he was also a night owl.

She wanted to be there with him when he ate potato crisps that he had snuck from the kitchen under his blanket from one of his late night ventures. She wanted to be there with him and for him when he was constantly worried about his friends like he was mother. She wanted to be there with him when he got all excited from getting all O’s in his exams. She wanted to be there with him when he got all pouty and sad because he had no cuddle buddy and his friends refused to cuddle with him.

She wanted to be there with him.

But now she was back to square one.

She laid down on the grass completely drenched from the rain and closed her eyes as she let herself feel the rain drops calm her down and mix with her tears. She lay completely still, in the middle of the courtyard and thought of all she could’ve had with Remus but fate had pulled her golden strings.

James Potter was walking groggily to the Great Hall before he missed breakfast. He had slept in after helping his soulmate with Alchemy till three in the morning.

A smile came on to his face as he thought of how awkward she had been with him the whole night but immediately turned into a complete ray of sunshine when at exactly two minutes past three, she had finally mastered the gold spell.

He was walking past the courtyard but then he saw a figure lying unmoving in the middle of the grass. He pushed his crooked glasses up his nose and focused on the figure trying to figure out why a person would be lying outside on grass unmoving while it was raining and they could get sick.

Are they hurt? Are they dead?!

With not a second thought about him getting drenched, he rushed towards the figure and immediately sank to his knees besides them. It was Y/N. He looked around reluctantly as if the air around him would tell him why Y/N L/N was lying unmoving in the rain.

Gulping down his animosity, he erratically rattled her shoulders and pulled her head on to his lap while trying to wake her up.

Y/N immediately sat up and looked around frantically before her eyes landed on James.

“What the fuck?! What did you do that for?” She shrugged his hands of her shoulders and stared wide eyed at him.

“Don’t ‘What the fuck’ me. What the fuck were you doing lying in the rain? i thought you were hurt. I thought you were dead!” He shouted at her still trying to wrap his mind around what just happened.

He was completely drenched by now and the thin white shirt he was wearing didn’t help much in hiding his well-built physique. Years of Quidditch had done him good and puberty had been very kind on him.

Then it registered to her that she was talking to James Potter and a whole new wave of emotions came over her because she remembered that he was Remus’s best friend.

A fresh set of tears rolled down her cheeks at the mere thought of Remus and James could see that the sudden redness that took over eyes and the water running down her cheeks was not because of the rain.

His eyes met hers reluctantly because James doesn’t know how to deal with his emotions much rather anyone else’s. Certainly not someone’s who despised him and he despised back.

“A-Are you okay…? Do you need me to get Remus?” That certainly didn’t help the girl in front of him in anyway as a sob escaped her lips.

“No…,” she whimpered and cried harder.

James panicked.

“Okay! Okay…no Moony. No Remus. We don’t want Remus. That’s completely alright! Just please stop crying.” He rambled on to try to make her calm down as he wrapped his arm around her shoulders hesitantly to keep both of them warm but also a little because he wanted to comfort her in any way he can.

Both of them were completely drenched but none of them cared.

One was a sobbing mess as she just wanted the rain to wash away all her sorrows and pain. Such excruciating pain.

The other had nothing in his mind other than the need to comfort her. He didn’t know why he was there basically drowning in the rain and quite probably catching a cold for a girl he had hated for so long. He just couldn’t bear to see her cry. It hurt him to see this strong, always happy, always challenging, complete ray of sunshine girl look so broken, so small. So he didn’t care if he was completely drenched, he didn’t care if he was going to be sick for a week after this, he didn’t care that the breakfast he was rushing to had already ended, and he didn’t care she hated him and he hated her. Because she was crying and broken in his arms and she needs him and damn it all if he wasn’t going to be there for her.

James was still awkwardly holding her when the rain had slowed to a quite drizzle as the tears on her cheeks dried and the sobs turned into whimpers.  He hesitantly looked into her swollen bloodshot eyes and carefully asked her, “How’re we feeling now?” She replied with a broken and twisted forced smile. “I’m alright now. I’m sorry for being so dramatic. I was just really stressed.” She gave him a half smile while his face turned into a comforting wide grin.

“You call this stressed? You call this dramatic? Here’s a fun fact; Octopuses eat themselves when they’re stressed. They just go complete cannibal on themselves. Now that’s dramatic. Sirius not letting us touch his hair because and I quote, ‘Your filthy hands don’t deserve me and my hair’. That’s dramatic. This? This is just a good ole cry. Letting out frustrations. Don’t worry about it. Happens to all of us.” James was trying to make her laugh because that’s all he wanted to see in her eyes and on her lips right now. But she just stared at him with a blank face.

“Who told you that?” she whispered.

“Well, Sirius reminds us on a daily basis. Never stops really. We once touched his hair while he was asleep and he-“

“No, the octopus fact. Who told you that?”

“Oh. Um, my soulmate. She’s always telling me these random animal and magical creature facts. Like how lobsters can live forever. How crazy and easy it is to breed a basilisk even though it’s illegal. She even dreams of them. She once had a dream she was riding through a forest on a unicorn while being chased by a giant. She told me once that she wants to be a magizoologist. I just know she’s going to be wonderful, whenever I meet her.” A smile adorned his lips as he talked lovingly about his soulmate.

He talked about her like she was the most precious thing in the whole universe. And to him, she was.

While on the other hand, Y/N’s world was crashing down around her and she stared at him talk about his soulmate perplexed.

The thing was that she already knew that octopuses eat themselves when they get stressed.  It was not that long ago she had found that out and had excitedly told her soulmate. She had told her soulmate about how lobsters can live forever. She had told her soulmate how to breed a basilisk. She had dreamed just a few days ago of riding a unicorn while being chased by a giant. She had told her soulmate she wanted to be a magizoologist.

It was just a coincidence, right?

She suddenly became really aware of how she was still sitting between James’s arms. How his fingers were unconsciously drawing doodles on her back. How close her face was to his.

She abruptly pushed herself out of his arms. He gave her a confused look before realizing the compromising position they had been in just mere second ago. His whole face lit up red like a lantern.

All of it was too much for Y/N to handle. And she could certainly not wrap her head around her thoughts of the sudden realization when James was looking so adorable with his flaming cheeks, ears and neck.

So, she did the only thing she could possibly do right now.

She ran.

She ran out of the courtyard and out of his sight without another word or even a glance, leaving him sitting by himself on the grass in the middle of the courtyard.

His gaze followed her until she was out of sight.

“A thank you would’ve been nice,” James grumbled to himself as he stood up.

“Thank you James for being there for me and sorry for making you completely wet and missing your breakfast.” He said to himself in a high pitched girly voice before realizing his words and blushing again.

“Merlin help Moony.”

[nah-she-didnt]

48: “You look cute when you’re sleepy” for jily? 💕

Hello! Thank you for the prompt! I’m very sorry once again!

--

Soldiers

“Stop looking at me.” 

“Can’t help it. You look cute when you’re sleepy.” 

James raised his head from his arms, hair mussed from his attempts to nap. “Not cute. Rugged. Dangerous. Alarmingly handsome.” 

Lily laughed and shook her head. “Nope. Sorry. You’re simply adorable.” 

James muttered grumpily to himself as he put his head back down. He and Lily were on their seventh hour in the library. Over the course of this obscenely long study session, the table had become covered with textbooks and crumpled up bits of parchment. A few meters away a window stood ajar. They could hear the distant sounds of laughing and splashing about in the Black Lake as younger students took full advantage of the first sunny day in weeks. 

Lily groaned inwardly, then turned back to her books. There would be years and years for her to enjoy the sunshine after she passed her exams. 

James, however, took a different approach to his studies. He hadn’t lifted a single book in over an hour and decided to amuse himself by either napping or blurting out every thought that popped into his head. Her patience had held so far, but she could feel herself getting more and more agitated. 

A few minutes later, James’ muffled voice broke Lily’s concentration once again. “What if I just decided not to graduate?”

If side-eye could kill. “I’m going to throw you out the window if you keep bothering me. I’ve read this sentence four times and I’ll be damned if I have to read it again.” 

“Alright, alright,” James scowled.

Lily sighed and set down her book. “If you want to go, then go!” 

“No way,” James spoke once again into his arms, “if I leave now, then fail my exams, I’ll spend the rest of my life wondering, what if I had just stayed in the library with my beautiful girlfriend? What then?” 

“Solid logic.” 

“I thought so too, thanks.” 

“James.” 

Sirius had sidled up to their table unnoticed. His face was gray and taught.

James sat up and ran a hand through his wild hair. “What’s up?” 

Sirius seemed determined to avoid Lily’s gaze. “I need to talk to you. Not here, come outside.” 

James glanced uneasily at Lily. “Erm, alright, let me just-” 

“Hang on,” Lily frowned, craning her head to try and force her way into Sirius’ line of sight. He looked away again. “What’s going on?” 

“Nothing.” Sirius’ voice had none of its usual playfulness, “Just need to talk to Prongs, that’s all.” 

Lily sat up straighter and squared her shoulders. “What, you can’t say it in front of me? Official Marauder business that you can’t trust me with?” 

Now Sirius looked at her. “You don’t want to know.” 

“Try me.” 

Sirius sighed and rubbed his eyes with the palms of his hands. “Alright,” he said resignedly, “come on.” 

She jumped to her feet, nearly spilling her jar of ink in the process. James, however, looked wearily between her and Sirius. Then, he got to his feet and followed them out of the library. 

The three of them made their way down the corridor, passing a group of gossiping fourth years and a fifth year Ravenclaw who looked like she might break down at any moment. The stress from exams must be getting to everyone, Lily thought as she eyed the back of Sirius’ head. That must be why he was acting so strange. 

They reached the end of the corridor and Sirius turned to face them, casting a silencing charm as he moved. He looked directly at James. 

“I talked to Reg.” 

James exhaled and crossed his arms. “And?” 

“We were right, they’ve joined up.” Sirius grimaced, “He couldn’t give me many details. I’m not sure if he didn’t want to talk or if he was worried about his boss reading his mind, but Reg doesn’t lie. Not about something like this.” 

James let out a sigh. “I’m so sorry, mate.” 

Sirius nodded. “It’s not just Reg. Avery and Snape too.” 

Lily felt her stomach drop. “Snape? You mean he’s- he hasn’t-” 

James reached for her hand. “I’m sorry, Lily. He’s been working with them for a while now.” 

Lily looked at James now. He seemed genuinely upset by Sirius’ news, but not at all surprised. 

“How do you know?” She asked the pair of them. They both shifted uncomfortably

“Well,” Sirius started, his voice sounding reluctant, “we’ve been keeping an eye on them. Dumbledore asked us-” 

“Dumbledore?” Lily snapped, “Dumbledore put you up to this?” 

“We volunteered,” James corrected quickly, shooting a glare at Sirius, “we told him that we always knew we’d join him after school, and we’re both of age, so-” 

“You were supposed to wait!” Her voice grew louder and higher with each word, but she didn’t care. She just hoped Sirius’ silencing charm could cover her tone. 

“Wait?” James’ eyes flashing, “Wait for what? Another attack? Another murder? What’s the point of school if we aren’t going to use what we’ve learned to fight back?” 

“The point,” Lily spat back at him, “is that you deserve a life. You deserve to be just a student for a little while longer. Dumbledore can’t take that away from you.” 

James laughed mirthlessly and threw his hands into the air. “Christ, Lil, I can’t believe you. I would’ve thought you’d support us.” 

“Don’t,” she pointed a finger in his face, “you dare accuse me of not supporting you wanting to fight, James. You know this isn’t about that. I’m going to fight the moment I leave this place, just like I’ve fought for the last seven years. You,” and she pointed at Sirius, who looked back alarmed, “and he have no idea what it’s like to be muggleborn. We fight every single day. So, don’t you dare tell me that I don’t support you fighting, because you’re not that stupid.”

Silence followed these last words. Sirius looked as if he would like very much to disappear into the floor just now.

James stared at Lily with an expression she had never seen on his face before. It was a mixture of disappointment and cold fury. “Right,” he said simply, “guess that settles that.” Then he turned on his heel and marched back up the hallway. 

Lily stood rooted to the spot, breathing heavily with the effort of delivering such a devastating blow to her boyfriend. Sirius shifted again. “I’m sorry-” 

“Oh, just go,” she spat at him. She couldn’t see him anymore through her watery eyes, “follow him. I know you’re just dying to comfort him.” 

“Lily,” Sirius said softly as he reached for her. He placed his hand on her shoulder, then slowly wrapped his arm around her until she fell against his chest, sobbing quietly. They stood like that for a long moment. His embrace was tight but reassuring. 

After a while, the damp spot on the top of her head told her that he was crying too. Crying for his brother, for Regulus, and for all the rest.

[ginemrys]

a change of heart

This is something very different to what we usually write, a bold departure from Jily! But we were inspired by a tiktok that showed Peter knocking on Marlene's door to Meant To Be Yours from the show Heathers and knew we had to write it!!!

Marly,

Lily and I are going a little stir crazy now. I try not to let her see how fed up with being stuck inside I am, but as you know well enough, she’s an expert at reading people.

I wish you could know where we are, that you could come and visit. We keep showing Harry photos of all of you, making sure he knows you all once this damned war is over. I think you’re going to be Marly for the rest of your life now, he’s quite taken with babbling some form of it over and over whenever you’re mentioned.

It’s unreal to think that he’s going to be a year old soon, where did that time go? Sometimes I feel like we are all still at school, taking our exams and getting up to mischief. I miss mischief almost as much as I miss the boys. We see Sirius of course, but no one has heard from Remus in a while, not since he went on his last mission for Dumbledore. I’m worried about Peter, he seems to be struggling worst of all, he barely replies to my letters now. I want him to be alright, he’s one of my closest friends and I hate the idea that he’s pulling away from us when we need him the most.

We miss you lots, miss you all. Please pass our love onto Dorcas and the others, you understand that we can’t write to everyone, just in case.

Stay safe, stay brilliant.

James.

Marlene stood in her childhood bedroom holding the letter in her hands. She smiled down at it, imagining baby Harry saying her name. She put the letter down on her bedside table before sitting on the edge of the bed.

“Marlene, dinner is ready!” Her mother called from downstairs.

“I’ll be down in a minute.” She called back, her head in her hands.

“Marly?” A quiet voice spoke from her doorway. Marlene’s younger brother, Marcus, stood there. He was home for the summer, having just finished his sixth year at Hogwarts. He was the only person who could ever comfort Marlene when she cried, knowing just what to do. So he stepped into her bedroom uninvited, and sat down beside her, one arm around her shoulders.

“Hey, you.” She said, with a small sigh. “Sorry… It’s been a tough few weeks.” She said, resting her head against his as they sat together.

“I know.” Marcus replied, his hold on her tightening slightly. “And I’m not going to ask, because I know you can’t, unlike Mum and Dad. Sorry they keep pushing you to tell us what you’ve been doing.”

“It’s fine, it was all just better when I saw more of my friends… I miss them. Lily and James I barely get to hear from, even Dore is too busy for me…” She sighed. “Right, can’t let our food get cold. Race you?” She said with a small smirk, moving back from him.

“It’ll get better, I’m sure.” Marcus said softly as she moved away, getting to his feet. A grin spread across his face as she spoke, his eyebrow raising. “You know I’ll win!” He took off running, making sure to shut her door behind him to slow her down.

But then a bang sounded from downstairs, Marlene’s mother screamed.

“Arsehole!” Marlene shouted after him, throwing the door open. She froze hearing her mother’s shout, but she joined her brother by stumbling into the kitchen. Marlene’s mother lay on the ground, her face pressed against the cracked tile.

“Mum!” Marcus called out, rushing towards his mother, falling to his knees to grab her. A cold laugh sounded and another green light filled the room. Marlene stood with wide eyes as she stared at the scene before her as Marcus fell limply on the tile next to her.

“Marlene, run! Go!” Her father shouted, his face wet with tears as he burst into the kitchen from his study, brandishing his wand. “You’re important in this war, go now!”

Marlene looked at her father for a moment before running towards the door, more figures moved into the kitchen and she could hear her father grunting as he shot spells that burnt hot behind her. She pulled the door open, but was stopped by a figure standing on the path. “P-Pete?”

“Stay there!” Peter said, his voice surprisingly firm. But his wand betrayed him, his hand shaking as he pointed it at her chest. “Don’t try to run, Marlene!”

Marlene felt sick, the shaking wand arm showed the dark mark embedded into his skin. She stared at him before turning on her heel and sprinting up the stairs. She ran at full pelt into her room, slamming the door closed and locking it behind her before resting back against it. She looked around even though she knew she was trapped. “Fuck.” She muttered, looking around for her wand. She could almost hear Alastor condemning her for putting it down.

Peter sighed as Marlene ran. He felt sick, unable to stop shaking. But this was a test, he had to do this. His mark was fresh, still itchy and green. He needed to kill, to kill by order of his new master in order to turn it black. And he was tasked with the murder of Marlene McKinnon. So he pulled the door open, hearing the thud of Mr McKinnon as his body hit the floor beside his wife and son. The stairs creaked as Peter climbed them, he could hear the chuckles of his fellow Death Eaters, none of them who knew that he was the spy believed that he could do it.

Marlene saw her wand had rolled onto the floor so scrambled forward on her hands and knees to grab it. “Come on.” She said to herself, trying to conjure a patronus to send for help. She had placed anti-apparition wards over her house a few weeks prior, to protect them. She’d thought people couldn’t get in, but she clearly had been wrong. A few wisps appeared out of her wand but she couldn't possibly think of a strong enough memory to conjure a corporal form. Not while her heart ached and her head spun.

He knew where he was going, he’d been here before. He’d lingered in the background as everyone had fun, drinking and partying after sixth year when Marlene’s parents had been out for the night. He’d sat alone, curled up on an armchair watching Lily begin to fall in love with James as they spoke quietly with their backs against the sofa. He knew where Marlene’s room was.

He knocked gently on the closed door. “Marly? It’s going to be alright, Marly. Just open the door, please.” He called through it, his voice soft. He could hear her ragged, panicked breathing behind the wood.

“It was you.” Marlene called back, her back hard against the door. “You’re the traitor. You… You joined their side. Pete, why?”

“Just open the door.” Peter replied, his voice a little harsher now. “I don’t owe you an explanation, I don’t owe any of you anything. Now open the door, Marly.”

“You could have come to us, any of us. We could have helped if you were struggling. Pete, Pete please.” She said, angrily brushing the tears from her face.

“No, I couldn’t!” He spat. He could have killed her by now, could have unlocked the door with a simple alohomora and he’d be done with it. But she knew now, she knew. Finally he could tell someone about how he felt, about how they all had made him feel over the years. “I couldn’t talk to any of you. None of you care, none of you remember I’m even there half the time. Remus used to give a slight shit, but then Dumbledore sent him away. And James only cares about his precious Lily, he doesn’t have the time for any of us anymore.” The words spilled out of him, his voice rough as he shouted through the door. “You’re on the losing side, Marly, you can’t win! So why bother trying?”

“That’s not true!” She exclaimed. “It’s not! We all care about each other so much, but it’s so hard, this war is so hard and it is worth trying, we want a future, a future with all of us.” She sobbed, her hand covering her mouth. “We all care about you. Please, Peter, we can fix this together. Me and you. I can save you, this isn’t the end. It can’t be the end.” She whimpered.

“It's too late. People didn’t care about me before the war, they won’t now. There’s no way.” He knew the door was locked, but still he reached down to turn the doorknob, knowing it would scare her. Some sick part of him was taking pleasure from hearing her sobbing. “Let me in.”

“We’ve always cared about you. What about Sirius and James? Remus? You’re one of the marauders. I’ve never seen a friendship as close as yours…” She said, standing up from the door and stepping back towards the bed, her wand raised.

“I’ve never been one of them, not really. I was just a means to an end.” Peter said as he pointed his wand at the lock, watching it glow slightly as he unlocked it. “It’s always been them, then me. An afterthought.”

“That’s not true, they love you. Let me help you, I can protect you.” She said, pointing her wand at the door. Her legs hit the edge of the bed, knocking the bedside table and the letter she had been reading landed on the ground.

“Not anymore.” Peter whispered. He cast a shield charm as he opened the door, knowing that she would try to attack him the second he appeared in her view. And of course he was right, because there she was, her wand pointed right at him. “See, you lied.”

“You’re trying to kill me, Peter. What do you expect?” She said, sending a stunning spell even though it bounced off his shield charm.

“I have to.” Peter said. “Expelliarmus!” Her wand soared out of her hand. Peter was never very good at catching, so he let it clatter to the floor in front of him. “I have to, Marly. You know that.” But still his hand shook.

Marlene winced as she watched the wand fall to the ground. “You don’t. You don’t have to do this, Pete. Please,” she looked him in the face, “let me help you, please don’t do this. Don’t kill me. I’m begging you.”

“You can’t help me. No one can help me. Not until the war is over.” Peter said, his voice sounding like he was trying to convince himself of the fact, to make himself believe that what he was doing was right. “It’ll be fine, Marly. It won’t hurt.”

“They’ll know it was you. They’ll find out. They won't forgive you if you do this.” As Marlene looked at him she could hear the voices of her friends in her head. We can’t be together, not anymore. I’m sorry. We’re going into hiding. I’m scared. You know I’ll win. I love you.

“No one will know.” Peter shook his head, his hand growing steadier by the second. “They think it’s Remus.” He drew in a deep breath, forcing himself to mean it, to want it. “Bye, Marly.” He whispered the words and saw the flash of light.

Marlene’s body hit the ground with a soft thud, her head falling next to the letter. Her eyes lay open, glazed and forever staring.

Peter had to press his hand to his mouth to not be sick, his fingers tingling at the feeling of casting an Unforgivable curse. His eyes travelled from Marlene’s dead, blank expression to the parchment beside her head. He recognised that handwriting. He walked over to her, taking care not to look at her anymore and picked it up. James . He was worried about him… He knew it was all for show, James hadn’t cared about Peter for years, if at all. But maybe he suspected. Peter knew he had to work harder with his so-called friends, if he wanted to prove himself to the Dark Lord. A sharp pain sliced his arm, a small cry escaping him. He looked, his mark was no longer green, but jet black. He’d done it.

“The other side are on their way. Let's go.” A gruff voice called from downstairs before steps moved through the house and disappeared.

The parchment slipped from Peter’s fingers, drifting down to land on Marlene’s outstretched palm. He kicked her wand behind him as he turned to leave the room, now it looked as though she had been killed without knowing who it was, in the middle of reading the letter. It probably didn’t matter much, but it gave Peter more of a sense of ease. He followed the sound of the voice, joining the other members of Voldemort’s inner circle, minus Snape of course. He did not know of Peter’s change of heart, and was not going to learn of it. Not until it was all over.

A quiet ache ran through the house as it was left alone, the bodies of the fallen left to run cold on the floor.

“Don’t fucking touch me.” Sirius growled at Alastor, pushing past him as he slammed the door open. “Marlene! Marlene!” He shouted into the house, walking forward towards the kitchen. He gagged when he saw Marcus’ body lying there next to his mother and father. He stumbled back against the doorway, looking around.

“Marlene!” He screamed out, pushing past the other members of the Order who were walking into the scene. He checked the living room before forcing his way upstairs and slowly pushing open the door into Marlene’s room. He slumped down onto his knees seeing her body. “No…” He crawled forward to pull her into his arms, wrapping his arms around her. “No.”

“Sirius…” Remus whispered. He’d only just gotten back from his last mission, the exhaustion obvious on his face. He and Albus had been halfway through their usual debrief when the message had come in, the message that the McKinnons' house had the Dark Mark emblazoned in the sky above it. Naturally Remus had come and had known Sirius would be there. “Oh Merlin, Sirius, I’m…” He took another step into the bedroom, unable to tear his eyes from Marlene’s.

“Get out. Get the fuck out of here.” Sirius snapped, holding Marlene close to his chest, stroking her hair. He looked down at her before he screamed out in agony, holding her tightly; unable to comprehend that she was dead.

“You don’t mean that. You’re upset.” Remus whispered, though a tear had fought its way down his cheek. Sirius had never spoken to him in that way before, not even when Remus had screamed at him for telling Snape about the passageway to the Shack. It stung, it hurt worse than any full moon. “I’m sorry she’s gone, Sirius.”

Sirius could barely hear anything, he lifted Marlene into his arms, lifting her up onto the bed and settling her onto the blankets. He stood up, leaving her there. “Get the fuck out.” Sirius snapped, moving forward to push Remus out of the room.

“Why are you being like this?” Remus asked him, his eyes wide. “This wasn’t me, Sirius. I didn’t- You know I would never hurt any of you!”

“You weren’t here! Where were you? If there were more of us we could have helped.” He growled, his thoughts were jumbled and he just needed someone to blame.

“You know I can’t tell you that! I was away on Dumbledore’s orders, Sirius!” Remus’ hand gripped the banister, his back pressed against it as Sirius backed him out of Marlene’s room. He could still see her long blonde hair on the bed, his stomach turning. “I’m sorry she’s gone, I really fucking am. But I promise you, I was with Dumbledore.”

“How do I know you’ve not been off with the enemy?” Sirius said, closing the door behind him, protecting Marlene in the only way he could. “How do I know you aren’t lying? You got here so quickly…”

“You really think I would betray you?” Remus snapped, the mere implication that Sirius thought he was the spy shattering him. “You think I’d work with him , betray James and Lily, put Harry at risk? Get Marlene killed? Fuck you, Sirius. You dare? You dare think that the things I’ve been doing haven’t been for the Order, for Dumbledore? You think so fucking little of me to consider I’d ever buy in to his blood purity bullshit? Me ? Clearly you don’t know me at all.”

“Marlene’s dead, people didn’t know where she was, where her family was. Marcus.” Sirius wretched, doubling over but trying not to throw up. “How else would they know?” He groaned.

“I don’t fucking know how they found her!” Remus was shouting now, furious at his supposed friend. “But I didn’t sell her out, I didn’t sell any of you out! Because I believe in my friends, Sirius, I would never think you or Peter would have betrayed James. But no, I do work for the Order alone and suddenly I’m a spy. I know you’re hurting, and I know you’re grieving. But I’ve seen the way you’ve been looking at me for months, and I’m sick of it! So go fuck yourself, I’m done.” He stormed down the stairs, the front door slamming behind him.

“Fuck you! Fuck you, you traitor!” Sirius screamed down the stairs, his knees giving way as he slumped down.

“Get him out of here.” Alastor said to a couple of Order members, who grabbed Sirius and dragged him out of the house.

The front door shut, the green glow of the Dark Mark still lingering in the air. But the house was silent once more.

[thejilyship]

All This Time

This is a preview of a fic I have NOT YET POSTED. But I’m getting impatient and want to share some of it with you, so here we are. 

WC: about 1k 

context: Lily has just referred to James as the boy-next-door. They are in fact literal neighbors and have been for their entire lives. They have both just graduated form college and are back home for a while. They are in James’ car, on the way to lunch. 

“We don’t fit those stereotypes, though? Do we?” James was wearing a face that made Lily want to say yes, only so she could see his reaction.

“I don’t know. I guess it depends who you ask. I don’t think your average boy-next-door is set to inherit millions of hair products and jogging off to play football in a national league.”

“Millions of hair products,” He scoffed. “But you’re right I guess, I don’t know anyone else who’s set to inherit that.” He chuckled and ran a hand through his hair.

“Was that the inspiration for your father? You came out like that and he’s like, ‘I need to fix this?’”

“Very funny, Evans. In my twenty-two years, I’ve never once heard someone make that joke.” She smirked anyway. “You’re not the typical girl-next-door either. Just so you know.”

“Actually, I think I might be.” She shrugged. “My parents had typical jobs, and the typical two children, I didn’t play any sports in school, only hung out with my group of friends, stayed under the radar-“

“In what world did you ‘stay under the radar’?” James interrupted, looking over at her with his brow raised and his eyes wide. Lily pressed her lips together and shrugged again.

“I don’t really know how I’m supposed to respond to that. I meant it in the way it’s normally meant.”

“You were on everyone’s radar though!” James shook his head and kept glancing from the road to her. “I mean, you were all the teachers favorites, to start with. And then almost every bloke in school fancied you at some point or another. Many more than once.”

“No they didn’t.” It was Lily’s turn to scoff now. “No they did not.” She repeated, this time with emphasis.

“Oh they most certainly did.” James said back, almost sounding too serious. “And why wouldn’t they? You’re gorgeous and funny and confident and smart as hell. Impossible not to notice, really.” She didn’t know if she was seeing things, or if his ears really were turning red, but he wasn’t glancing over at her anymore.

“I think you’re either grossly exaggerating or misremembering.”

“I’m most definitely not misremembering things.”

“No, I mean, I am gorgeous and funny and confident and smart as hell,” Lily smiled at him and he laughed. “But people in secondary didn’t notice those things. I kept to myself for the most part. And I was just fine with that.”

“No one ever thought you weren’t. It was part of the appeal.”

“You’re talking as though you were part of this drove of adoring blokes who fancied me now, so I know you’re exaggerating.”

“Of course I fancied you in secondary.” Lily’s heart dropped to her stomach.

“No you didn’t.”

“Yes I did.” He argued. Lily looked over at him, and his ears were most definitely red now. “Of course I did. I figured I was pretty obvious about it.” He glanced over at her. “You really didn’t know?”

Lily blinked at him and he looked back at the road.

“Alright, apparently not.” He laughed, but he sounded nervous.

“We never got along.” Lily countered. “You didn’t fancy me, you couldn’t stand me. You were always arguing with me and competing with me for top marks and avoiding me-“

“I never avoided you-“

“Yes you did! You would always leave your house after I left mine when I walked to the bus so that we didn’t have to walk together.”

“That was only because I didn’t want to start off the day with you pissed at me. If I’d tried to walk with you, it would have annoyed you.”

“No it wouldn’t have.” If teenage James had shown teenage Lily genuine interest and attention, she probably would have been flattered and besotted. Because that’s how she felt every time he had shown her genuine interest and attention. Like when she’d been stood up and he laid out on his roof while she was on hers and he told her that she deserved better. Or when he’d somehow managed to tape a thank you note to the outside of her window after she’d called his ex-girlfriend a thick skulled gobermouch.

“It sort of seemed like everything I did annoyed you, so I think it would have.”

“You were inconsistent.” Lily huffed. James looked over at her again but didn’t say anything, only waited for her to explain herself. She took a deep breath. “I was annoyed with you a lot, and it wasn’t usually because you scored higher than me on a maths exam or something stupid like that. It just seemed like whenever I thought we were starting to be friends, you would start ignoring me. Or making fun of me. Or doing things specifically to annoy me.”

James thought about that for a while, “Well, in my defense I was an idiot. We’ve already established that. And Sirius may have been going on about how dangerous the friend zone was- but that’s just an excuse I guess. Honestly, I just didn’t know how to act around you. And so I was a bit of a git. But that doesn’t mean that I didn’t fancy you. Just means I was immature and didn’t know how to handle it.”

“I mean, I was a git too.”

“Sure, and at the time, it all felt completely unjustified. But I get it now. It’s not pleasant to have your neighbor throw rocks at your window at two in the morning just to wake you up. Or have your braid tugged whenever you were talking to the pompous arsehat, Peter Hagish. Or-”

“Peter Hagish?” Lily interrupted with a snort, “I had forgotten all about him.”

“Sure you did, because you didn’t have to watch him try and flirt with you every morning.” James rolled his eyes and Lily had to bite her lip to keep from laughing. The notion that James fancied her during secondary was completely absurd to her, but he was definitely acting as though he had fancied her.

“I mean, I sort of did have to watch,”

James snorted. “I guess so, but it clearly didn’t affect you as strongly.”

“Honestly and truly, you fancied me?” Lily asked, turning toward him completely now, tucking her leg up onto the seat.

“Honestly and truly.”

She narrowed her eyes at him for a moment, waiting for the punchline, for him to start laughing, for him to take it all back.

But he just gave her a wry smile and shrugged a shoulder.

[miamlfy]

Textbooks and James

A/N: Hi guys, been a while since I posted. I hope you all aren't too upset. This took me longer than expected and I’m not a fan of this fic, so I’m sorry if it’s disappointing. To whoever requested this, I hope you still like it. 

Pairing: James Potter x Reader

Summary: Needing to study, you take your only opportunity without James to do so. 

Warnings: Not proofread, sorry for mistakes. Wolfstar is mentioned. 

Word count: 1,7K

Masterlist

Enjoy! 

(Not my gif, credit to whoever made it.)

Exam taking was always a nightmare for you. Anxiety always ran through you whenever your professors mentioned an upcoming exam. Normally you would study weeks in advanced and ace it with ease, but ever since you started dating the infamous James Potter, it became rather difficult to get things done around him. 

James wanted to be with you at all times, he was a clingy boy. He spent years trying to get you to go on a date with him and now that you’re together, he wasn’t planning on leaving your side. You found his clinginess rather cute but it did become difficult whenever you wanted to get things done, James wanted your undivided attention and every time, you gave in which led you to rarely completing the things you needed done. 

Of course getting your homework done together was a must, along with essays—Remus was always there to help. Reading a book or studying was something you haven’t completed since you started dating James. The only times you were able to read or study for an important exam was at night, which was how you were currently spending the only time you had to rest and get decent sleep. 

Your notes and textbooks were sprawled out onto your twin bed, you were the last one awake in your dorm. Marlene and Dorcas were fast asleep the minute they entered the room and Lily just had gone to bed after finishing the last few chapters of a muggle book she had been reading. 

A dim light was casted, just bright enough for you to read the words on the textbook. Yawns kept escaping your mouth and eyes kept closing every few seconds. You shook yourself to help you stay up, although you’d much rather copy what all the girls were doing right now, you had to study and get it over with. You just hoped you had enough energy to deal with James in the morning. 

You were woken up by Lily shaking you and her screaming, “Y/n, you need to get up! We’re already running late!” She yelled. 

You immediately shot up and got dressed while checking the time, 08:47. You let out a sigh, you had less than 20 minutes to eat breakfast. You grabbed your notes that covered the floor and packed your bag, not bothering with trying to recall when exactly you fell asleep. 

Lily and you sprinted out of the Gryffindor common room and into the Great Hall. The two of your spotted your other two dorm mates and the marauders. You sat yourself on the right seat next to James, the left side belonged to Sirius and Sirius only. 

“Good morning, my love, how’d you sleep?” James asked, placing a kiss on your temple and wrapping his arm around your shoulders. 

You let out a groan and grabbed the nearest muffin, stuffing your mouth with it. 

“Marlene, why didn’t you wake us up?” Lily questioned, Marlene simply shrugged. 

“Y/n and you looked so peaceful and waking the both of you up is a bloody nightmare.” Marlene answered honestly. “Not to mention, last time I tried waking up Y/n, she almost hexed me.” 

You shook your head, swallowing bits of muffin before talking. “Now you’re just being dramatic, Marls. I would never do such a thing.” You said, stifling a laugh. 

The rest of breakfast was kept in silence, with the occasional of Sirius saying something somewhat incorrect and Remus correcting him. James at times also saying something mildly wrong on purpose to annoy Remus further. 

You dragged your feet to your first class of the day, already wishing for the day to be over. While everyone else walked slightly further than you, James stayed behind with you. He wrapped his arm around your shoulder, giving them a squeeze with his hand. 

“Are you alright, darling? You seem a bit off.” He said, worry taking over him. You gave him a reassuring smile. 

“I’m fine, James. I’m just a bit tired, that’s all.” He gave you an unsure look but took your word for it. The two of you walked together, being one of the last few students to enter the potions classroom. 

Sitting next to Lily, you let out a yawn and rubbed your eyes. You prayed today wasn’t a lecture day, you wouldn’t stay awake if it was. Professor Slughorn usually kept his lectures energetic, but you knew note taking would be a nightmare for you considering your tiredness. Thankfully, today was a brewing day. Lily would be brewing a simple potion and you would be taking the notes of what was happening during the process. 

Yawning once again, the two of you began. The potion didn’t take too long to brew, Slughorn giving you a perfection and allowing you to take the rest of the class period to study/work on anything else. You took that opportunity on continuing to study, you focused your eyes on the words written across your textbook. Your handwriting becoming more sloppy, you could care less on how it looked, all what mattered was that you had everything down to help pass your exam. 

As more students finished, the class got more and more loud with conversations. You frustrations began to grow, your mind shifting from conversations near you and your textbooks. You felt a presence next to you, immediately you knew who it was by the smell of his cologne. Your eyes shifted from your textbook to James. 

“Yes James?” You questioned the boy, who was currently smiling at you like a goof. 

He leaned down on the table, prompting his chin on his hand. “My beautiful girlfriend, you should be taking this free time to nap not study.” He said. 

You sighed, “I know but I really need to do this and I can always sleep later.” You stood from your chair and closed your books, packing everything into your bag and slinging it over your shoulder. 

The bell rang, allowing students to leave and go to their next classes. James walked beside you while the rest of your friends talked among each other. 

“Promise me you won’t overwork yourself, the test is still weeks away. You should be spending your time with me.” He whined. You couldn’t help but giggle at his childish behavior. 

“You know how important it is to me and my parents that I pass all my exams.” You said. “And I always spend my times with you, not that I mind.” 

James squeezed your hand, “I just don’t want you overworking yourself, last time your nearly past out.” 

You frowned a bit at that memory, OWL’s were on every fifth year minds. You were so worried over studying, that you forgot to eat and sleep. Thankfully, Remus was there and spotted your fatigue nature. 

“After lunch I’m going to the library for a few hours with Lily and then I’ll meet up with you and the others for dinner.” 

James thought about your words for a bit, then he nodded agreeing with you. “Just promise you won’t overwork yourself?

“I promise.” 

That promise was not long kept, for the most part. You did finish off your school day in the library and then met up with everyone else afterwards. However, the next day was different. Completing your classes went by fast and you were left with enough free time. James, along with Sirius were at their weekly detention, so you took the opportunity to spend some time at the library. 

Remus joined you at hour two, so you took his presence as an opportunity to ask him about DADA. He was always very good at the subject and although you were as well, NEWT level became more of a struggle for you. 

“Rem, just please let me cheat off you.” You said with desperation in your voice. You were so close to giving up and dropping out — of course this was your dramatic side speaking. 

“I love you lots but I cannot allow that,” he said. “Now, let’s go back and review what you need the most help with.” 

You let out a deep sigh, “I need help with everything.” 

Remus was with you for about two hours before he got dragged away by Sirius — who managed to leave his detention earlier than James, somehow. You rubbed your eyes and forced them onto your textbook, you were going to get every bit of information one way or another. 

After what felt like hours of jamming everything into your brain, you felt yourself grow hungry. Looking around the library you noticed you were one of the few people left inside. Everyone else must have already left for dinner, you stretched your arms out letting out a quiet groan. 

“You’re the last one in here, everyone already left.” James’ voice said behind you, his voice making you jump. 

“Merlin you scared me!” You exclaimed, putting a hand over your heart. “Yes I know, but I really need to study.” 

“What you need is a break and food, when was the last time you ate?” He said with worry.

You didn’t need to respond for him to know the answer. James let out a sigh and began closing your textbooks, ignoring your protests. 

“You need to eat and relax, Y/n.” He said sternly. “You can continue tomorrow, tonight you are going to relax.” 

You knew there was a low chance of you winning, so you complied and packed your things away. James extended his hand out to you to hold, you gave it a squeeze and followed him out of the library and into the Great Hall. Everyone else was already enjoying the deliciousness of the food. 

James began making you a plate, you felt like a child at that moment and you couldn’t help but laugh. 

“What?” James asked, who was still plopping food onto your plate and his. 

“It’s nothing.” You giggled out. 

“Open your mouth.” James said, you furrowed your eyebrows with confusion. 

“What?” 

“Open.” You obeyed and opened your mouth, feeling silly. James put a spoonful of food into your mouth. Little less confused on this situation, you began chewing your food. 

Sirius snorted, “James she’s not a child, she can feed herself.” 

James turned his attention to Sirius, “You’re just jealous because it’s not you I’m feeding.” James put another spoonful of food into your mouth. 

“Yeah, yeah whatever. Remus could you feed me?” Sirius asked his boyfriend, giving him a puppy eye stare. 

“Ha! You wish!” 

[roonilwazlibimagines]

Hi! Ik it might take you a while to see this but here goes :) Can I request a Sirius x Reader, post-hogwarts (but when Lily and James were still alive) and reader and Sirius are in a toxic relationship where they truly love eachother but things are just always on and off, yk? And nobody ever knows wether they’re going to walk into the room all lovey dovey or walk into the room screaming at eachother, and you can decide the ending but please make it angsty :)

Pairing: Sirius Black x Female Reader Word Count: 4.7k Blurb: James and Lily plan a get-together to tell their friends some exciting news, but it doesn’t go to planned.  Warnings: Lot’s of fighting and yelling, toxic relationship and swearing, little bit of Jily where she keeps slapping James on the chest but it is playful and I couldn’t resist writing it I’m sorry.  A/N: Everyone in my inbox: ‘please write a part 2 to worst of you’, Me: *writes a fic with the same plot but at a different time*

Everyone seemed to freeze as a loud popping noise was emitted from outside the Potter household. It was an unusually warm January night and the Potter’s were glad the weather had held off for their usual ‘get-together’ with their school friends. 

“Five galleons that they’re angry at each other,” James’ smirk was soon replaced with a frown as Lily playfully slapped his shoulder. 

“James! They’re our friends, don’t be so mean,” she tsked and shook her head, standing up to let the visitors in and missing Remus’ slight nod to James. 

James, Remus and Peter sat in the Potter’s lounge room seemingly frozen as they anticipated the state in which their friends would arrive. They really didn’t intend to be so mean to them. They cared and loved for them and had practically grown up as they had spent most of their Hogwarts life with the both of them. Sure a lot of that time was spent separately, but it was still spent together.

They had begun dating in their fourth year, they were both young and in love and they were both the other’s first, well, everything. They broke up at the beginning of fifth year and Sirius had done it. Something about not wanting to be kept down his entire life and needing a change - the reasons seemed to blur after a while. They had remained friendly with the both of them, but neither of them could stand to be in the same room as the other so that made it quite difficult to spend time with either of them. Until just before Christmas when the odd couple got back together because during their time apart they had realised that there was no one else for them. Until the second week back at school when she claimed to come to her senses and had realised that Sirius was never going to change and she could not spend a second longer with him. That was, of course, until after exams during the small Common Room party when they had woken up to the two of them in Sirius’ bed. All was well until about a month later and then it became hard to keep up with their odd relationship. 

It wasn’t that they didn’t care about them - because they did care about them both very much - but it was hard trying to keep up with them when one minute they were having a screaming match in the Gryffindor Common Room for all the first years to gawk at and the other they were cuddled up on Sirius’ bed pathetically telling the other everything they loved about them. 

Everyone was concerned (more intrigued) about what would happen to the odd couple after Hogwarts but nothing seemed to change. They weren’t dating when they officially graduated Hogwarts but by the next week when James invited them all over for a graduation celebration they were practically joined at the hip. That was, of course, until Sirius realised that he was free now that he was out of Hogwarts which led to a very loud screaming match on the Potter’s front porch where the three boys and Lily were sat in a similar position to where they were now: silent and nervous as they listened to their friends crying outside. 

“Bit awkward that they bought a house together now, isn’t it?” James’ voice was unusually high as he tried to make light of the very awkward situation they were in when they heard a popping noise and realised the screaming had finally ended. Similarly, Lily had playfully slapped his shoulder and scoffed, going outside to go and comfort her crying her friend. 

After that break-up James had asked Lily what she thought they did now that they lived together as opposed to Hogwarts where they could break up and get together as much as they pleased, both having their own dormitory to resign to at the end of it all. Lily had, once again, playfully slapped his shoulder making him exasperatedly ask, ‘what?! I’m curious,’ and so was Remus and Peter. 

“Well don’t tell anyone this but she told me that they have separate rooms and sometimes when it’s really bad Sirius goes to The Leaky Cauldron.” Lucky Remus and Peter weren’t just anyone. 

Now it had been over a year since they had graduated and the odd couple were still on and off and were currently just getting over a break-up which had also occurred at the Potter household during their last get-together. But apparently Sirius had come to his wits and came knocking at her door at two in the morning begging for forgiveness and they were just about to see whether or not it had worked. 

“Sorry we’re so late,” the three boys looked at each other; eyes wide, “Sirius couldn’t decide what to wear.”

“I just want to look the best for you.” They heard a giggle and a smooching noise as Lily reassured them that they were hardly late. Remus smirked as he stood up and reached his hand out to a disgruntled James who sighed as he fished in his pockets for five galleons. 

James didn’t plan on making this a game (especially not with the amount of money he was losing), but how could they not when they knew that the two ‘lovers’ would walk in either at each other’s necks and fighting or at each other’s necks and leaving a few ‘marks’.

“Hi everyone,” she was beaming and cheerful and she came around to give a big hug to everyone with Sirius trailing behind her and doing the same, “we missed you so much.”

 The Potter’s had two single lounges on either side of a three-seater lounge all facing a small table and a fireplace. James and Peter were sat on either side of the three-seater with Lily resuming her place in the middle and Remus on one of the single-seaters. 

“C’mere love,” Sirius mumbled in her ear as his hand wrapped around her wrist and led her to the other single-seater, sitting himself down and bringing her to sit on his lap. She leant her head on his chest and he put his arms around her waist. 

She felt content. She was sure that no matter how strange and chaotic their relationship was, her and Sirius were meant to be together. They were the other’s first love and when she fit so perfectly into his embrace how could she ever think otherwise? 

Sirius let out a sigh and a small smile formed on his face. He wasn’t really sure about anything in his life but this just seemed to make sense. He gave her a little squeeze before pressing a kiss to the top of her head. Sure they had their moments, but isn’t love about getting through them all? 

Lily cleared her throat, trying to bring the attention of James, Peter and Remus to anywhere else but the odd couple. They were being anything but subtle with James and Peter’s bodies completely turned to face them and Remus practically off his seat all trying to get the best view of the time bomb sitting in front of them. 

“So, what have we all been up to since the last time we saw each other?” Lily regretted the words that left her mouth as soon as she said it, but she smiled confidently at them all as if she hadn’t said anything wrong. 

Of course, the last time they had all been together that bomb had gone off and they all had front row seats. 

Really, they should have seen it coming. Her cheerful smile was a blank expression and Sirius’ teasing comments were replaced with a, ‘they don’t know we broke up, just smile and act like everything is fine’ which they definitely weren’t meant to hear and which the odd couple definitely didn’t achieve. 

They had joked about it afterwards that it was the shortest amount of time it had taken them to start fighting. 

“Lily this wine is amazing, where did you get it from?” Sirius was sitting as far away from her as he could manage, their distance - lounges away - contrasting to the close proximity they were in now. 

“Oh, I got it from The Leaky Cauldron as a gift from Tom,” Lily seemed like she was about to continue before she was cut off. 

“I’m surprised you haven’t tried it if it’s from The Leaky Cauldron,” she couldn’t contain the smirk forming on her lips, “don’t you spend a lot of time there, Sirius?” She was going to stop there, she really was, but seeing Sirius’ hand clench on the arm rest seemed to ignite something in her and before she knew it she was asking, “or where you too busy fucking whatever whore came in that you didn’t have time to try their wine?” It took James, Peter and Remus every fibre of their being not to start whooping and shouting because as much as they loved Sirius, it was quite hilarious.

“Yes, I was actually,” Sirius stood up, “best sex I’ve ever had.”

“Oh shut up!” She stood and got up in his face. There was a moment of silence with Sirius’ glare challenging her sneer. Then, in a mumble which the rest of them could hardly make out he asked, “do you think I could have a word with you outside?”

“Gladly.” 

It was more than a word. It was actually a lot of words. A lot of mean and nasty words which they all could hear as they sat inside in a similar position to where they were the first time they had fought like this when they first left Hogwarts. It was oddly silent in the house, with the only noise being their two friends screeching at each other outside. 

“You’re the one who sent me to The Leaky Cauldron,” Sirius’ voice was shrill and loud. 

“Well maybe if you stopped acting like a child I wouldn’t have broken up with you,” her voice somehow was louder than his. 

“Well maybe if you weren’t always so serious about everything then I wouldn’t have to.”

“You always fucking do this Sirius,” her voice started out softly but it rose towards the end. 

“Whatever, I don’t need this,” he sighed and with a quick, “fuck this,” Sirius disapparated and soon she was awkwardly walking into the lounge-room, tears threatening to spill as she excused herself and went home for the night. 

“Well Sirius and I got back together,” she let out a small laughm turning her head to Sirius who was playfully rolling his eyes at her. 

Peter’s eyes widened, Remus almost choked on his drink and James cleared his throat as Lily laughed with her friend and gave James an encouraging kick to the shin so he would laugh with her. 

“Thank Merlin we did,” Sirius whispered, pressing a soft kiss to her nose as everyone let their awkward giggles die down. 

She knew what everyone thought of their relationship. People might say that she was dumb for constantly going back to Sirius, but they didn’t know him like she did. Sure they all had front row seats to their constant bickering and fighting but they weren’t there when they got home and were tangled up in each other's arms with Sirius telling her everything he loved about her. But, of course, she wasn’t naive enough to think that the people around them hadn’t spoken about the eventful ending to their last ‘get-together’ and so why not address the elephant in the room?

Sirius also knew what everyone thought of their relationship. But he didn’t like people knowing the details, he was very private when it came to his relationships and why did people need to know anything about it? 

But he still smiled at her because this was their friends she was speaking to, they were like family and maybe it was okay if she let slip a few details about their relationship. 

“Obviously, last time we were here it was a bit different,” she turned around to face everyone else, a small smile forming on her lips as Sirius hummed and made a conscious effort to unclench his jaw. “But Sirius came home and apologised and we made up and trust me, we definitely made up,” she giggled before opening her mouth to continue. 

“Okay, I think they get it, love,” Sirius let out an awkward giggle as he spoke through gritted teeth. 

“Well if they can hear us screeching on their front porch then they can-”

“Well they didn’t have to hear us screeching on their front porch.” Her head snapped around to look at him smiling sweetly at her.

“What is that meant to mean?” She squinted her eyes at him as he took his hands off her waist. 

“Nothing, my love.” Sirius let out a deep sigh before pressing a soft kiss to the top of her temple. They were finally in a good place and he really didn’t want to pick a fight with her right here in front of their friends. Again. 

She glared at him hoping that he would understand how mad she was at him for picking a fight and then ending it as if it was all her fault. 

There was an awkward silence before James cleared his throat and everyone’s attention was brought to James. 

She felt a heat rise to her chest in embarrassment as she realised how pathetic their little row actually was and as James opened his mouth to start speaking she mumbled an ‘I’m sorry’ to Sirius who brought his arms back around her waist and whispered an ‘it’s okay,’ before softly kissing her cheek and bringing his attention to James. Maybe he had overreacted. 

“So I know Lily and I always invite you over for little ‘get-togethers’ because you’re our family and we love you all and we want to stay this close forever.” He turned to Lily and placed a hand on her thigh. She put her hand over his and beamed. They all looked around at each other and smiled in an acknowledgement that they were family and they did love each other very much. 

“And while this is all very true, James and I actually invited you because, well,” her and James looked at each other and let out a breathy laugh, “we are going to be extending our family.” Their beaming faces turned to look at their friend’s confused ones before Lily almost screeched, “I’m pregnant!”

A chorus of cheers broke out in the small living room as everyone got up to hug the new parents. 

“Lily, oh my gosh!” she let out a squeal as she hugged her best friend before continuing, “I’m so excited for you, congratulations!” She hugged her tight before letting go and Lily grabbed her hands and placed it on her tummy both of them giggling in excitement. 

Peter, Remus and Sirius gave their congratulations to James, waiting until the two girls broke apart so they could congratulate Lily. 

“Congratulations, mate,” Sirius beamed, patting him on the back before continuing, “can’t wait to meet the little baby and teach them everything you won’t.”

Their previous little feud had been completely forgotten by the majority of the room, fortunately overshadowed by the good news from the soon-to-be-parents. Once everyone gave their congratulations they resumed their positions across the lounges, a sense of excitement filling in the room as everyone was still beaming at James and Lily. 

“Now we want you to know that choosing the godparents was a really hard decision,” Lily’s hand was wrapped around James’ arm as she looked around to everyone individually in the room, “and we don’t want anyone’s feelings to be hurt, because James and I will have more children.”

“That we will,” James smirked, turning his head to press a soft kiss to Lily’s head. Despite their smiles, their friends scrunched up their noses in disgust and playfully rolled their eyes. 

“But we had to make a decision,” they were trying to be sympathetic but the smiling faces of all their friends were infectious and they knew that no one would be offended, “and the godparents will be,” James paused for dramatic effect before turning towards the odd couple in the single-seated chair, “you two!” 

She stood up and beamed at Sirius, grabbing his face in her hands and pulling him in for a kiss before bringing her attention to James and Lily. She pulled them both into her arms and kissed their cheeks, both them letting out a chorus of ‘thank you’s’, ‘I love you’s’ and ‘I can’t wait’s’.

When they sat back down Sirius’ grip on her waist was much tighter and this time she placed her hand over his and gave it a big squeeze. 

“We promise to be the best godparents ever,” she gushed, a large smile forming on her face. 

“Yeah, we’ll let them do everything you won’t let them do,” Sirius continued making everyone laugh. 

“I don’t doubt that you will,” James and Lily shook their heads knowing that as much as the odd couple would live up to their promise, they would never put the baby in actual danger. Well not any real danger. 

If they were being honest, which they would never be to the odd couple, they really weren’t convinced on making them godparents. It wasn’t that they didn’t trust them, they would trust them with their lives if they really had to. Well, they would trust them individually. They were amazing friends individually, but when they were together it seemed only a matter of time before they would explode and as they had experienced from the last few years, they really didn’t care who ended up in the destruction. 

When James and Lily had discussed the topic of godparents it was quite obvious that the odd couple would be the perfect choice because Lily wanted her to be the godmother, being her closest friend and all, and Sirius, who was basically James’ brother, was perfect to be the godfather because he was her boyfriend. . 

Well, at the time he was her boyfriend, but that was not long before they had the massive fight at the Potter’s and their concerns about them being godparents began to grow. 

“Maybe it will bring them together?” James had suggested innocently, shrugging his shoulders and earning a playful slap to his shoulder from Lily. “What?”

“Oh yes that will be great,” Lily beamed sarcastically at him, “I can’t wait to introduce our child to their fighting godparents only to have them go off and fuck in a closet and forget about their godchild!”

But Lily was convinced on having her as a godmother and James was convinced on having him as a godfather and it would have been a bit weird if they had given it to her and Remus and that probably would have led to another fight. 

So they decided to wait until they were in a good spot until they broke the news to them and when she had owled Lily to tell her that Sirius had apologised and they were thinking about getting back together, Lily was ecstatic to hear this (for the first time) and immediately sent out owls to come to their house in two days. She didn’t want to leave it too late in case they broke up again. Usually it lasted a little longer, but honestly who knew with them. 

Maybe it was wrong on their behalf, but godparents didn’t technically need to be together anyways so all that mattered was that they were together when they told them as this was the best case scenario with the least risk of them getting into a fight. 

But even though it was the least riskiest, there was still a risk. 

“And you were going to ruin their announcement,” Sirius chuckled, squeezing his arms around her and making her unsure about how she was meant to take that comment. 

Everyone suddenly went quiet. 

“What do you mean?” She raised an eyebrow but she hadn’t turned to look at him yet. 

“Oh merlin,” Lily whispered as all smiles were wiped off their friends' faces as they braced themselves for the explosion. 

“You tried to pick a fight with me just before they announced it,” Sirius explained, still seemingly innocent to what the outcome of his comment was going to lead to. 

“I didn’t try to pick a fight with you.” She turned around to face him, giving him a confused look but still trying to force a smile. 

“Really, well it seemed like you-”

“You were trying to pick a fight with me, you always do.” She furrowed her eyebrows together as their friends stared intently at her seemingly unable to take their eyes away from the emerging disaster in front of them.  

“I do not,” Sirius huffed, getting defensive as he took his arms away from her waist. 

“You’re picking one right now!” Her voice was getting louder and her expression angrier and Sirius let out a sigh. 

“I’m sorry, love,” he pressed a kiss to her forehead and went to continue before he was cut off. 

“No,” she stood up, “you’re an ass Sirius Black.” She could feel the tears start to pool in her eyes and she wasn’t sure if it was due to the anger or the embarrassment. “You always pick a fight with me and then you apologise as if I’m the one being annoying.” 

Their friends shared a look as they all seemed to shrink back into their seats, their previous excitement getting lost in the explosion. 

“Well at least I’m not the one who always has to make a scene in front of our friends.” Sirius stood up and waved his hand around to their friends who all moved their eyes away before she could turn around and see them staring intently at them. 

“Oh fuck off Sirius,” she rolled her eyes and sniffled as she felt a tear fall down her cheek, “do you really think they can’t hear us when we ‘take it outside?’” She asked, teasing him for always wanting to do so when it was obvious they would be able to hear. 

“Can you just fucking stop?” His voice was booming, “Tonight was about James and Lily but you just couldn’t handle the attention not being on you for more than two minutes, could you?” He was pointing at her and she squinted at him, a few more tears falling down. 

“How dare you?” Her voice was beginning to tremble and she hated that he would think he had gotten to her. She wanted to turn to James and Lily and apologise for being such shitty friends and tell them that she was really happy for them, but it was easier to pretend that they weren’t there. 

“What? Speak the fucking truth?” Sirius taunted, stepping closer to her so their faces were inches apart. “Well congratulations because you ruined their announcement.”

“How dare you accuse me of being such a shitty friend when you’re the one who is always picking a fucking fight with me!” Her voice started soft but as she continued it got more heated and soon she was yelling at him. Sirius clenched his eyes shut and took a deep breath. 

“Fuck this,” he mumbled, “fuck this,” his voice got louder, “you always fucking ruin everything for me.” He leant down so his face was even closer to hers before standing back up and clearing his throat. He finally addressed the rest of his friends as she angrily wiped the tears from her cheeks. “I’m sorry that your announcement has been ruined, I’m really happy for you, mate,” he gave a sincere look to James and Lily, “and I am honoured to be their godfather. But I think it's time I went before anything escalates.” 

“I’m so happy you get to be the bigger person again,” she spat at him, but he didn’t acknowledge her words. 

He walked around the room and gave his friends a hug goodbye, congratulating them once more before giving her a dirty look and apparating to The Leaky Cauldron. 

He leant against the doorframe and took a deep breath. He really didn’t like fighting with her, as much as he did it and as much as people probably thought he liked it, he really hated it. But he just couldn’t help it. She knew exactly how to get his blood boiling and he knew exactly how to push her buttons but that was just because they knew each other so well. Too well, probably, considering their history. 

More than anything, he felt horrible for ruining his best friends, his brothers, announcement. He would never admit it but he did know that the fight wasn’t just one sided. It never was. He would get a room and write an apology to his friends immediately. Maybe they could celebrate together, with just him, to save any more dramas. 

There was the thought in the back of his head that he would be a godparent with her, but he decided to push it to the back of his head. He wouldn’t be able to sleep if he let his worries bubble to the surface. He wanted to be the best role model a godfather could be to this baby and at the moment he felt everything but. 

His heart ached as he replayed the image of the tears falling down her cheeks as she yelled at him and for a moment he considered apparating back to their house and holding her until she stopped crying and forgave him. 

He wiped the tears off his face and walked into the pub. 

She was mumbling out apologies any moment there was a silence. . 

“We are horrible friends, I am so sorry.” She wrapped her arms around both of them as they patted her back and told her it was okay, checking for the umpteenth time that she didn’t want to stay with them instead of going to a presumably empty house. “You’re too kind, but I just really want to go back to my comfortable bed.” And with one horrible attempt at a convincing smile she apparated back to her empty flat.

She threw herself on the bed and let out a muffled scream into her pillow. She hated that he knew exactly how to get her blood boiling and even though she knew exactly how to push his buttons, he had definitely initiated it tonight. 

She hated fighting with him, she hated the horrible twisty feeling she got in her tummy that always made her feel like everything inside of her was going to come out and she hated that he had the power to make her feel like this. 

But this time it was worse because even though they had fought in front of their friends many times, they had never brought so much attention to themselves when it really shouldn’t have been. She felt horrible and decided that first thing tomorrow she would owl Lily and meet up with them to properly celebrate. At least it would give her time to get a gift. 

Her mind wandered to the baby and how she was expected to be their godmother. Not that she wanted anything more than to be the best godmother the little baby could ever have, it was just that right now she didn’t know if she would ever be able to do so. 

For a moment she wanted nothing more than to have Sirius’ arms around her, shushing her and kissing the top of her head and stroking her back and telling her that everything was going to be fine. But she wasn’t sure that they were ever going to be anywhere near being fine. 

Back at the Potter’s the four friends sat in silence. No one knowing what to say. They shared a few looks and many sighs, but the tension was still leftover from the explosion and it seemed that no one knew what to say and no one really knew how to deal with the aftermath of the explosion. 

“So does this mean I get my five galleons back?” James asked innocently.  Lily shook her head and playfully slapped his shoulder as James whined when Remus shook his head. 

[halothenthehorns]

All in the Family

Chapter 77: The Hungarian Horntail

Sirius would swear the ground kept shaking even as he got himself up onto hands and knees, his vision was staying blurry longer than usual rather than letting anything into focus, and at first he thought it smoke in his eyes as he finally distinguished bonfires dancing all around him.

His long dark hair fell in curtains around his eyes, but now that he'd adjusted, it did nothing to obscure the fact he was face to face with a dragon. He screamed. A high pitch, death like noise that hurt his own ears, causing the fire breathing nightmare to roar louder and spray a white hot breath right towards him. He tried to get to his feet, too fast, and lucked himself into falling just below the deadly blast. Then he did get himself upright and took off at a dead run, until he ran face first into an invisible barrier just barely on the shadows of the last cage.

He staggered back, clutching his freshly bleeding nose but gripping his heaving chest instead, took the seconds it was worth to see the other seven weren't actually in the cages with any of them but staggering about in their own fear, and made the split second decision he wished he'd had available to him two summers ago.

"Padfoot, are you okay?" James asked in concern, seeing the blood matting his muzzle, but the dog merely shook his head, and his whole body with it, before pacing anxiously as far from the nearest dragon he could.

"That's a question I don't expect we'll get an answer to until we leave this spot," Remus pointed out. "Even then, I'm sure it'll just be, shut up."

James nodded in silent agreement and decided to get right to that, summoning the book to him. The book came shooting from in between the feet of the largest black one that had spikes all along it, the blue cover was blackened around the edges and still smoking slightly, not a great omen.

Peter came hesitantly over to them, rubbing at the back of his neck awkwardly but still asking in genuine concern, "is he okay?"

"You try asking him," Remus nearly had to shout over the still roaring beasts, who seemed no more pleased with their presence than them. Remus barely noticed, despite the fact he'd usually salivate at the chance to see live dragons. His eyes were on the nick in his ear once more, barely illuminated in the still bright flames being shot in all directions. His gut clenched once more, he wondered if he was going to be sick again. Why on Earth did Peter come over here to check on them when he had every reason in the world not to?

James Potter read out the very obvious chapter title as the other four stayed huddled in the shadows as well for safety.

"Which one's the horn-tail, do you think?" Alice asked quietly enough she hoped it wouldn't cause the green one to keep direct eye contact with her, glaring in a truly predatory way.

"Ah, the one with horns on its tail?" Frank offered politely, watching Regulus's progress. He was braver than he would have given the kid credit before moments ago, he'd scattered after them upon first finding themselves here, but was now walking back between the four enclosures cautiously to head back towards the Marauders group.

Amazingly, he made it to the other side without a burn, though the blue one had tried her best.

"Why are they here?" Lily demanded faintly. "Hagrid having a baby on the school grounds was insane enough, what the bloody hell is wrong with this Tournament?" She finished by answering her own question.

"I don't want to know," Alice groand, clutching Frank's hand harder. He returned the pressure in kind, all three of them wincing and burying their backs farther into the invisible barrier.

Regulus was chewing painfully on the inside of his cheek as he slowly but openly approached the four like they were more dragons. He had no clear goal in joining them, an oddity itself as he never did anything without a reason. All he was sure of was that he'd never heard his brother scream like that.

James stopped halfway through Skeeter's blithering article, admittedly happy with any reason to stop he was so disgusted, but tracked Regulus coming closer with narrowed eyes. He had three good reasons not to trust whatever he was coming over here to say right now, all involving the three currently around him.

He hadn't said a word about Remus, or to him, but neither had any of the others. He didn't know what would incite Regulus to now, but he'd push the welp into the nearest dragon's cage if that was it.

He had zero clue what that recurring conversation Regulus and Peter had been having was about, but was in no mood to learn of it now when he wanted a chance to try and have Peter back talking to them, he didn't trust any Black to help with that right now.

Padfoot was currently shaking on his strong legs, all fur bristled on end and tail between his legs as he let out heart stuttering growls and soft whimpers intermittently. This bloody area was traumatizing enough to the lot of them they'd be happy to never be so close to a dragon again, he couldn't imagine having to stare at these things for hours with no clear way to escape, again. It was the dog though Regulus had his eyes on as he approached.

Regulus almost couldn't hear his own voice amidst the still painfully loud roaring, so he cleared his throat awkwardly and tried just a touch louder, "is, ah, is he-"

"No, he's not alright!" James Potter was scowling at what he perceived as a stupid question. "You mind if I get around to fixing that?" He waved the book obnoxiously.

Regulus frowned, but shook his head and kept what he'd really been about to ask to himself as Potter continued. Is he going to change back, had been his actual question, as it was hard to put together what his mind was telling him, that this beast was actually somehow his brother. He shot a side glance at Lupin uncomfortably, he couldn't imagine being trapped like that, in a body so, minimal.

The last time he'd seen this massive canine, it had its jaws around a werewolf that would have happily eaten them all. Now it looked like just as much a dangerous animal itself, and a cornered dog was the most vicious kind. The blood just barely visible in the glittering teeth from the injured nose that he'd caused was not helping the image.

His parents would be impressed, he vaguely realized the longer he looked. Despite the fact he had to remind himself every other second that was indeed Sirius, rather than another terror of this Forest, his sixteen-year-old brother was an animagus. Not a fact he'd really taken the time to appreciate back when it had been revealed, considering everything else happening. He shot another anxious look at Lupin, this time out of the corner of his eye, and then glanced through the thick foliage once more to make sure it wasn't a full moon again, but couldn't see through it to be sure.

Orion and Walburga had been wrong about so much, it seemed. The Dark Lord, his screw-up of a brother never managing to accomplish anything, it seemed they were even wrong about werewolves as well. The pale, tall kid that stood half behind James Potter looked more afraid of him than vice-versa as he seemed to be waiting for something just as much as Regulus was. He chanced a glance at Peter, who was still standing just a few feet away more than was casual but standing firmly nonetheless, obviously more weary of keeping his eyes on the massive dragons than any other immediate problem like the two seemingly dangerous animals at his back.

Regulus again had to remind himself of his Animagus lesson he'd had just this year, that the difference was Sirius was in full control of his mind, where a werewolf never was. Just because this terrifying bear-like dog looked like it was going to lunge forward and tear their throats out any second, Sirius wouldn't...right? Surely if he was, he would have done so to Peter and claimed delirium when he changed back, but instead as James Potter kept talking, detailing Harry's reaction to the article, Sirius almost began to relax.

Not by any noticeable means if you weren't looking for it, but Regulus was. Almost one by one, his fur began to smooth out, his tail came out from under him to merely become horizontal, and he was leaning forward on his toes. Careful, calculating, eyes still resting on the danger and teeth bared, but no longer growling quite so loud.

He'd been studying Animagi a bit for his upcoming exams of course, but never with any more intensity than the curricular questions he might perceive. Nothing of the magnitude Sirius must have gone through to be like this. Regulus only knew the very basics, and even those processes were still beyond him. The question that really boggled the mind was, why had he done it?

At the time, the book version of his brother had said it was to help their werewolf friend, but what use could this be except a meal? It had come in handy, certainly, in keeping him at bay, but only for the precious time it took to get away from those deadly jaws. The creature was unreasonable at all senses though, it had nearly torn Sirius and Potter to shreds without a second thought, so clearly no pack mentality had spared him.

It was a conundrum he had no hope of understanding without actually talking to Sirius, and possibly Lupin so long as he was going to stay in his human form while doing it. As Potter had pointed out though, that didn't seem likely to happen until they got away from this place, the Horntail shooting a blast of fire in their direction that all five of them had to duck to avoid proving a valid point.

After that, Potter's reading increased in tempo even more, he almost blurred through Harry's trip to Hogsmeade, and Hagrid's odd invite that nevertheless they all almost immediately understood would somehow lead to this place.

Lily almost wanted to slap the gamekeeper for being so excited about this, even bringing a competitor's Head along like some sort of date. Even Potter could come up with better romance than this!

Alice and Frank winced and pleaded with the ground to swallow them whole on the spot when they heard that the challenge Harry would be facing did indeed include these dragons, nesting mothers to be spacific. The clutch of eggs, now that they knew to look for them, was indeed in the massive shadows well guarded, anybody would have to be insane to get near them! If Harry died trying, what would happen to them?

James' voice wavered uncomfortably as he heard that Karakaroff was sneaking there just as Harry was leaving, his mind going to Cedric and some kernels of pity for the kid who would be the only one of the Champions left out, but the majority of his mind was still on Harry and how he was going to! Hopefully Sirius would be of some help, after he had his own little freak out while talking to Harry in the fire?

He at first uneasily exchanged a small look with Remus as the conversation began, at least Sirius was looking better than the unrecognizable murderer from the Shack had described, but the longer it went on, the more obvious their worried exchanges got. Until finally he flat stopped and his mouth hung open for several beats, and Remus didn't even prod him to keep going.

Sirius had no reaction to the dragons Harry would soon be dealing with. Sirius was more worried talking about the Death Eaters in the castle, like Karkaroff! Sirius...really had changed.

Whether it was Azkaban or just time, they wondered what other little things would he have also prioritized over? He was still reckless, impulsive, this they knew, and he clearly put Harry above his own well-being, at least that was the same... but did he still have sticky fingers when it came to his friends' clothes? Did Sirius still throw his head back and laugh with his whole body? Did Padfoot still remember what it was like to trust anyone besides himself?

The big, glaring obvious difference of what would happen to Peter had shook them to their core, but it wasn't until now they thought back and really felt in their bones how different this world was, almost alien from theirs. It had been almost fun up until that awful moment to think of this as their future, that James and Lily would get together and have this child, that they'd just hear the tales of Harry's insane school years and find out what had killed them so they could keep the good and pretend the bad would never come. The real question though, was how any of this was going to end?

"Would you two quit gaping at each other like fish!" Peter finally snapped as the silence dragged on and Padfoot began whimpering uncomfortably right at their feet. "Dissect his shitty choices later please and get us out of here before we're roasted alive!"

The red one shot a mushroom-shaped fire right over his head to prove his point.

James swallowed uncomfortably, but complied, trying to take what comfort he could that was the first normal thing Peter had said to him in a while, and smothering whose fault that was how long it had been.

Finally as the pages reached their end for this chapter, Regulus did speak up once more, the question coming out of him the least of his concern really, but the only one he expected anyone other than him to come up with an answer to for now. He looked at Remus Lupin, and asked, "does that really help?" His eyes needlessly flickering back to Sirius, err, Padfoot? The dog that had actually almost loosened up, still in a tense weary stance, but of a hunter sighting its prey rather than fending it off. His brother.

Remus Lupin smiled in surprise, but answered cordially, "like you wouldn't believe."