#because she isn't the main focus of this story angst is

[anneapocalypse]

On Wuk Lamat, and Female Characters in FFXIV

The Thing with Wuk Lamat is you can tell me you think she had too much screentime; you can give me numbers on how many lines she had or how many scenes she's in relative to other characters or other expacs; you can prove to me "objectively" that she gets more focus than other main NPCs; you're simply not going to convince me that this is something I should be unhappy about. And not just because it's silly to think you can use numbers to prove a story is good or bad and make someone else go, "Wow, you're right, let me just throw away all the joy I experienced with this story and revise my opinion because you've scientifically proven to me that I'm wrong."

Because while I love Final Fantasy XIV and I have greatly enjoyed its story in so many ways, fundamentally one of my biggest beefs with this game has been how much female characters have been denied complex character arcs and growth and agency and interiority.

Minfilia gets treated as a sacrificial vessel who lives for everyone but herself and doesn't even get to have feelings about her own death because that entire arc is focused on a male character's angst about it instead. The game tells us in the Heavensward patches that Krile sees Minfilia as her best friend and then just forgets about that later and never follows up on what that loss must have meant to her. Ysayle is basically right about most of what she's fighting for but harboring a bit of self-delusion is apparently such a terrible sin that she has to pay for it with her life, while her male foil is deemed so worthy of salvation that there's a whole plot point about how important it is that we risk our lives and others' lives to save him. Y'shtola is a major character who's been around since the beginning, and the game keeps dropping maddeningly interesting things about her (apprenticed to a cranky old witch in a cave! saved her own life and the lives of her friends with an illegal and dangerous spell and it worked! reserved and undemonstrative yet regularly through her actions reveals herself to be deeply caring! disabled!) and then shows complete disinterest in following up on any of those things with the kind of depth and care shown to male characters with complex arcs like Urianger.

In general there is also a repeated thread of female characters being portrayed as weak or overly emotional: Minfilia is weak because she doesn't fight and needs to be eaten by a god in order to gain "a strength long sought." Krile is portrayed as not being able to pull her weight with the Scions (despite the fact that she actively keeps five of them from dying in Shadowbringers) and the only thing they could think of for her to do in Endwalker was be yet another vessel for Hydaelyn (hmm, that sounds familiar) and it's not until Dawntrail that she gets much actual character development in the main story and even that has to come alongside "Look, she can fight now so that means she's useful." (And I love Picto!Krile, I'm just saying, there's a pattern.) Alisaie, despite having very good reasons for needing to find her own path apart from her brother, is portrayed as having to prove herself when she returns, that she's "not the girl she once was," and "will not be a burden" (while Alphinaud is repeatedly given the benefit of the doubt and reassurance and affirmation from other characters even after he takes on responsibilities he isn't ready for and fucks up big time).

And if you follow me you know I adore Urianger, and I love Alphinaud and Thancred and Estinien too, so please don't misunderstand what I'm saying here! I'm not knocking those characters, or saying we shouldn't also love them. I just use them as a comparison to demonstrate how the female characters have been neglected.

Lyse has some of the stronger character development among the female Scions, and while she's still kind of portrayed as being too emotional and hotheaded in early Stormblood, I think it's actually explored in more depth in a way that I like; Lyse has good reasons for wanting to fight for her nation's freedom, but having been away from Ala Mhigo for several years now, she needs to understand the stakes for the people who've been there fighting for years, what they've lost and still have to lose. She grows as a person and rises to the challenge of leadership, and I'm even okay with the fact that she leaves the Scions afterward because it feels right for her to stay in Ala Mhigo, and at least she doesn't die.

And by all accounts she was, like Wuk Lamat, widely hated when her expansion came out.

Unironically I think the other female Scion with the strongest character arc is Tataru. She tries to take up a combat job, finds that it's not for her, and decides to focus on where her strengths are instead. In doing so, she both holds the Scions together as an organization in the absence of a leader by capably managing their finances, and also comes into her own as a businesswoman and makes international connections that benefit both the Scions and her personally. In contrast to Minfilia, she's not portrayed as weak because she doesn't fight, and is actually allowed to be an important character who's good for more than being sacrificed. Tataru is still distinctly in a supporting role for the player character, however, and her character arc happens as a side story that takes up a relatively small amount of screentime over several expansions, which I think is probably why she doesn't evoke such a negative reaction.

But there is a pattern of the game's writing showing disinterest in the interior lives of female characters generally, and in making their growth the focus of a story.

So yeah, I'm going to be happy about Wuk Lamat! I'm going to enjoy and celebrate every moment of her character arc, of her personal growth, of watching her put the lessons she's learned into action. I'm going to love and treasure every moment when she gets to be silly, embarrassing, emotional, scared, grieving, confused, upset, seasick, impulsive, and still deemed worthy of growing into a hero and a leader. I will love her with all of my soul and you simply will not convince me that it wasn't worth the screentime after such a profound imbalance for basically the entirety of the game. We've never had a major female character get such a strong arc with this much love and attention put into it and that means more to me than I can truly say. The backlash to it is disheartening, as this kind of thing always is, but I'm not going to let it ruin the wonderful experience I had playing it and how much joy it continues to bring me.

And for those of you who don't want any of that for a female character, thank goodness you have Heavensward and Shadowbringers and Endwalker and no one can take those away from you.

(And if you follow me you know that I love Shadowbringers and Endwalker and have very fond memories of Heavensward despite some issues with it, so not only can I not take that from you, I am not trying to!)

Some of us have been real hungry for a character like this with an arc like this, so, I think, y'know, maybe we can have that. As a treat.

[reidsdimples]

When Everything Changed | Part 1

Enemies to lovers | Spencer Reid x BAU!Reader

Angst 🖤

Spencer isn't a fan of the BAU's new genius (you).

You didn’t have a particular like or dislike for Dr. Spencer Reid. For the most part you felt fairly neutral. He was a colleague, one of the team. The two of you weren’t super close but Garcia says that’s because there’s not enough space in the BAU for two genius’s.

He didn’t seem to care for it when you blurted out facts that Hotch asked for or knew a statistic down to a closer decimal than he did.

“If you would do your reading on rapidly updated internet databases instead of printed out media, your statistics wouldn’t be a month behind,” you sniped at him after he sassed you.

Hotch gave you a pointed look.

“He said 13.6% and you said 13.2%- that discrepancy is not one I’m concerned with. 13% would have been fine,” Hotch said and looked back down at the case file before him.

The jet hummed softly, Rossi raising his eyebrow at Reid who seemed to have something to say.

“Reid what do you know about sharp force injuries to the ears?”

“The ear canal is a sensitive and vulnerable part of the body, often associated with communication and hearing. The criminal may have chosen this specific method as a way to assert control or power over their victims by targeting a vital sensory organ. Depending on if he wound it into the brain slowly, it may have been a sadistic killing,” he answers rapidly.

“You think this was torture? It looks more like an instant death,” you answer.

“Ancient torture methods focus on the ears as a way to deal pain by shattering the ear drums and rendering the victim deaf. Given the amount of blood in the right ear I’d say it was done antimortem as a form of torture while the pick through the left ear was the killing blow. He even angled this ice pick upward and into the brain,” he runs his long fingers over the crime scene photos to show you.

You’re almost in awe that he was able to deduce that before seeing the bodies but you say nothing.

"The first two only had an ice pick to the ear which killed them," Hotch said.

"Maybe he hadn't learned yet that he enjoys the torture," Rossi adds.

“Either way this unsub has a fascination with ears,” JJ says.

“Maybe he’s deaf himself?” Morgan chimes in.

You accidentally kick Reid’s ankle while adjusting in your seat across from him, he snaps his head up and narrows his eyes on you.

The conversation spurs on all the way to Portland, Maine where the smell of saltwater invades your nostrils as you step off of the plane.

-

The following day you’re partnered up with Reid to sort through a series of clues left by the unsub. Two more bodies dropped in twenty-four hours, leaving 8 riddles on 8 bodies that needed to be decoded.

“I can take care of this myself,” Reid argues with Hotch.

“I know you can but an extra set of eyes can’t hurt, we’re on a time crunch. Monica Dentz went missing four hours ago. If he sticks to his MO, she only has ten hours left,” with that Hotch exited the room.

Reid rather aggressively tossed his should bag on the table before snatching up copies of the riddles from the table and pinning them to the board.

“I’m not trying to get in your way,” you sigh. You watch him organize the riddles on the board.

“Try harder,” he snaps.

You scoff but your eyes scan over his tall frame as he puts the board together. Nope.

“I think the first one is talking about a ship, same with the third and fifth,” Reid says as he flips a pen in his fingers.

“If you’re taking it literally. ‘Alone in the tide’ could just be a metaphor for loneliness,” you point out.

“And what do you make of ‘the bow takes charge, towards the arctic waters where she sleeps’?” He asks. He’s less condescending this time, more curious but still annoyed.

“That.. that’s probably about a boat,” you accept.

“If you look at these as a story, where you read them from the first lines strung together and then the second lines… it reads like a book. I think someone he loved died at sea,” it seems to click for Reid and he starts scribbling on the board. “And here… I think this means there was an explosion. A boiler room maybe?” He’s moving around the two boards quickly, talking fast, pushing his hair back from his eyes. For a moment you almost find it adorable.

“Maybe he went deaf in a boating accident that killed someone he loves…” you add, standing to look at the board.

He calls Garcia and then Hotch.

“He’s killing them on a boat, it’s symbolic for him. We think he was a victim of a boating accident and lost his hearing…” he continues to speak but you become distracted.

Why were you becoming attracted to him? He was never ugly but you had never noticed him this way before. He was too busy infuriating you with his attitude. Yet he was growing on you in the last few months. Weird.

“Now what?” You ask him.

“We wait for them to get names. Hotch will tell us where he needs us next, we’ll continue to work the profile from here,” he places the pen in his mouth and flips through the victim profiles again.

“Don’t you have an eidetic memory? Why do you keep going through those…”

“Helps me deduce the information,” he shrugs dismissively.

You frown.

“Ya’know,” you sigh and pull up a chair across from him. “I have no intention of overshadowing you.” He glances up from the file.

“So why do you go out of your way to correct or narrow down my answers?”

It’s a perfectly reasonable question. You didn’t know why you did it.

“Habit? I’m used to being the smartest person in the room,” you admit.

“Right,” is his only response as he opens another file.

You don’t know what else to say so you take a look at the profile the team has built.

2 hours pass in awkward silence before Hotch calls the two of you to meet them at the east harbor for a raid of the now named suspects boat.

Once you arrive, Morgan and Prentiss greet you while you’re fumbling with your vest. After a moment and a frustrated sigh, Reid steps behind you.

“Here the strap is twisted up,” he says.

His fingertips graze your hip where your shirt is riding up. Your breathing hitches but you try not to appear affected.

“Thanks,” you tell him.

“Sounds like a plan,” you answer Prentiss who had been explaining the entry points.

“The two of you friends now?” Morgan asks Reid.

“I wouldn’t call it that,” Reid answers stoically with his hand propped on his gun. You scoff and shake your head.

“What?” Reid turns his head to you.

“Nothing, let’s just do this,” you snipe. Morgan and JJ exchange an concerned glance.

The man was impossible. You understood if he had walls up, if he didn’t like new people or the competition. But he’s not even trying to welcome you in the slightest.

The scent of ocean air and dead fish fills your nostrils as you follow behind Morgan down the dock. Reid and JJ creep onto the stern of the considerable sized old yacht while Hotch, Rossi, and Prentiss took the bow. You and Morgan are entering through the main entrance of the cabin with deadly stealth.

You hear varying 'clears' come from your coworkers before you point Morgan to a hatch leading below deck. You think you can hear shuffling of some kind happening but it's hard to tell with the sway of the ship.

The rest of the team enter behind you but its Morgan who insists on jumping down first, forgoing the small ladder.

"Randy Lional, put your hands up," he's shouting as you drop down behind him.

You raise your gun as you take in the scene, someone else drops down behind you, it's Reid based on the silver revolver in your line of sight.

The man is crouched over an unconscious Monica Dentz, one of her ears bleeding and her wrists bound. You think she's still breathing.

"Put the gun and the ice pick down man," Morgan yells and then Hotch is next to him.

"He can't hear you," you tell Morgan when Randy drags the barrel of the gun over the girl's half naked body as though he's lost in a trance. His burly back is turned to the team and the situation is so unique that none of you know how to intercept him.

You push between Morgan and Hotch to slowly approach him. It's Reid who grabs your arm and shakes his head, something like concern playing in his hazel eyes. You take your arm from him and turn to the unsub.

An idea strikes you so you pull off your earring and toss it in his direction, it slides across the floor into his line of sight, causing him to jump up and turn around.

The man's eyes are wide, dark bags below them. He's frantic as he shakily points the gun at you. His stringy strands of hair are oiled to his chubby aged face and he appears to be shocked by the FBI's presence. He's aiming the gun at Monica's head.

"Put the gun down," Morgan yells again, gesturing at the weapon.

You begin to use sign language, after putting your own gun back in its holster. Reid steps closer to you, his revolver still raised.

"I know that you're hurting. I know what happened that night. I'm so sorry about your parents," you begin to sign. "But torturing others this way is not going to change what happened to you."

Reid glances at you, seemingly impressed by your use of ASL.

"She's trying to talk him down," Reid informs the rest of the team.

"Please, drop the weapons," you sign to him again. He looks more sad, defeated than before and you're hopeful.

"Does he profile as suicidal?" You ask the team.

"Yes," Hotch answers. You swallow hard.

Just then Monica stirs awake and begins screaming against the cloth gag in her mouth.

What happens next feels like slow motion, you don't even know how to process it.

Randy raises the gun and fires at you, three shots in rapid succession before you can blink. And then Reid has stepped nearly completely in front of you, firing two shots along with a barrage of shots from the team.

You hit the floor in a daze and chaos ensues.

"We need medics!" Prentiss is screaming into her ear piece.

"Two agents hit, one victim, subject deceased," Hotch is speaking into his mic as he rushes over to you.

The blinding pain is in your shoulder, the blood hot as it oozes out of you.

"Reid," you search for him.

"Ah, I'm okay. I'm okay," he doesn't sound okay.

And then you see it, the wound in his neck, the blood pouring from his mouth. Reid is grabbing at his throat for the wound, blood coating his hand. Crimsons running down his slender wrist and long fingers. Then Morgan is applying pressure to the wound while JJ is tending to you.

You wince in pain as she is pressing down on your shoulder. You can physically feel the metal bullet sitting inside of your body, sending pain radiating in all directions. People are talking all around you, JJ's eyes are full of tears as she tries to get you to stay conscious.

"Come on kid, look at me," Morgan is pleading with Reid. no no no.

"Why did you..." you try to ask why he stepped in front of you but the room begins to spin. You start to see double and you don't know if its you or Reid groaning in pain. Reid's eyes are rolling back in his head and he's starting to go limp in Morgans lap.

Reid took a bullet for you, and it may kill him. What if he dies thinking you hate him?

A blur of paramedics enter the space before you lose consciousness murmuring Reid's name.

A/N- Hope you guys love this. I'm already working on the 'lovers' part.

[kimingyuslover]

Love me not

Love isn't too late for anyone, right? Word count : 2,324 words Pairing : kim mingyu x reader Genre : angst, love triangle, bestf to (?) Warnings : uhh, as always, tears (duh), mingyu is straight-up asshole, reader is a girlboss and also a resident doctor, wonwoo's a cardiothoracic surgeon, mingyu's job is not specified, mentions of drink, kind of minimal dialogue but at the same time it's not & like 1 (one) curse word, lmk if i miss any! ★ i'm in my active era, with nothing to do in my life so I just decided to write this in like, what, total 8 hours? it’s just a random thought that caught up in my mind for dayssss. need to repost this (cry)

☆ check out my other works > main masterlist

Mingyu's smile flattered when he read the invitation envelope he received this morning. There, he found a picture of you with another man— the man he saw at the coffee shop.

He could feel the way his heart clenched, and he sensed a twinge of jealousy in his heart.

Perhaps it's his fault, not caring about you enough that makes you think that you can't handle him anymore.

Or the way he would cancel your meetings abruptly because he just got a call from Jira where he rushes to everywhere she goes without asking any questions. Leaving you hanging alone in the restaurant that you both had decided to have dinner together.

The way he always mentions her names in every conversation, bringing her like she's the goddess god sent from the sky himself.

God, he can even imagine the way your smile slightly dropped and the disappointment evident on your face when he brought up her name that he had once not noticed, not caring about what you had said earlier.

Despite that, you stay by his side, offering your shoulder everytime he feels sad because of her, assuring him that he’s enough.

Mingyu remembers the day when everything started to shift.

You're not as welcome to him as before. Always avoid meeting him in person, and you are always busy.

He thinks it's normal at first, you're a resident after all, of course you're going to get busy someday that you can't even spare a glance or reply to his texts.

Meanwhile you, on the other hand, think that it's the best for you. Well, it is.

You're willing to step-out from the “more than friends but not in a relationship” situation with him, your heart also aches really great while you have to stay calm for him when he's telling his story, with her in it.

So after a while, you decided that you had enough of his & Jira's story, and you need to move on.So you do what you have to do earlier this time, you avoid him, busying yourself with patience, and always looking for surgery that needs an assistant, minimising your interaction with him.It's not that hard, actually. You're literally a cardiac resident. You will always get busy.

There you met who you called now– the love of your life, Jeon Wonwoo. He’s the main doctor for organ transplant operation, and you're the assistant.

After the operation was successful, he treated you to a coffee shop down the road and both of you had fun, talking about patience cases that you have, and even some stories on the ER where you are located right now.

“So, any interest in a relationship, or you're just single?” He asks while sipping his cup of ice americano– he claims that's what keeps him awake in every before or after a big operation.

You think for a few seconds, this is the first time when you feel like yourself again and have people asking about you, not any other person.

Feeling like you zoned out, he calls your name again, in which you respond with a shy smile on your face, and you apologise for spacing out.

You open your mouth to speak again, “No, I don't have any interest in a relationship for now, I want to focus on being a doctor first, like you!” you said with a light-hearted laugh. He did the same.

Then someone opens the coffee shop door, making the bell rings, your eyes trained to the glass door, you freeze when you see Mingyu, in all his glory.

He seems to notice you too, but when he looks in your direction, you already turn your eyes towards the doctor in front of you. Yes, he searched for you in the ER, but the receptionist said that you're currently in a cafe with a doctor.

After placing his order, he sat next to the counter, waiting for his name to be called by the barista.

He noticed the way you laugh so freely, like the burden on your shoulder just lift up when you are with that man.

He frowns, you never be as free as you are right now when you're with him, you always keep your distance, and he's your best friend! That doctor is just someone you met along the way.

[⋆✴︎˚｡⋆]

“What do you want, Mingyu?” That's it, no more ‘gyu’ and the tone of your voice is cold, stabbing him in the heart.

He took a long breath, “What's wrong with us? You never seem to notice me anymore. Hundreds of my messages go unread, and you never gave me a check”

His words really make you wanna laugh. What's wrong with you both? You don't know, but one thing for sure, he needs you to tell the story about him and his beloved to you, crying his heart out and then leaving like nothing's going on between you.

You bite your bottom lip. Before allowing yourself to let out a chuckle, Mingyu cuts you off.

“Why are you laughing? It’s not a time for that” You seriously want to punch the guy in front of you, “You not here anymore when i needed you the most, Jira and i–”

That's where you draw the line, you put your “I don't care, Mingyu. Actually, fuck you kim mingyu” His breath hitched when you said that, hands growing cold.

“You are always nagging this and that about you and Jira, I don't care about her, I only care about you, all my whole life I only cared about you” Your finger pointed at him accusingly.

You stop yourself for a second, trying to catch your breath, you see Mingyu opening his mouth, wanting to speak but you cut him off.

“No, you don't get to say anything about this. All i ever do is just a backburner, the person who you came when you have any problems and dump all your problems with me, and then when you feel better you always go to her even you knew that she would make the same mistake over and over again and you will come running to me with your tears stricken face”

“You promise to listen to me too, I've had enough of your drama, I've talked to you before you even brought her up, and somehow you still did even if it's not relevant. I'm sacrificing my own happiness for you, Jira had everything i've ever wanted and that is you”

You snatched your bag from the seat beside you, pulled out a 50 dollar bill, put it on the table and you stormed off.

Mingyu was just sitting there, and that's when he felt it come back. The ache in his heart, he feels his heart clenched in the worst way possible.

Only you can make him feel like this, not even Jira can do this to him. Hearing the words fall off from your mouth is hurting him, and he doesn't know why.

[⋆✴︎˚｡⋆]

Days turn into weeks and weeks turn into months. It's been approximately 7 months since the last time Mingyu saw you and heard from you.

You moved out from your old apartment the next day, making him ponder since when you start to pack your things, have you been planning this all the months back?

In the first month, he felt so lonely without your presence, no one sent him a ‘good morning’ ‘evening’ and ‘night’ text, his apartment also felt cold without you.

You used to come here often on saturday and sunday night, warming up the apartment with movies ready on your disk.

Now, his weekend nights feel empty, no one would play and watch his favorite movie with him.

And in the third month he realised when he saw you again, this time with Wonwoo beside you, talking and laughing together. He felt a throbbing pain in his heart when he saw that scenery.

oh.

oh.

All the times he felt in your presence, is the sign that he likes you or worse yet— loves you.

He realised he never felt anything towards Jira, that it's just a passing crush to keep his true deep feeling. He has liked you since the day you turned 14, the way your eyes light up when your family and him decide to surprise you in your sleep.

The memory just made his wound that he considered still fresh getting sprinkled by a handful pinch of salt.

It burns him alive and he loses all the respect he has for himself.

He thinks he has moved on, the old trick under the sleeves, getting over someone by getting under someone.And finally, it's now been a year and a half since he last heard from you.

Mingyu walks to his apartment with groceries on both of his hands, and then when he gets inside, he puts the things on his kitchen counter and goes to the bedroom to change his outerwear.

He's not in the mood to do anything today, so he took his laptop to watch some movies, but then an email caught his attention, it's from you.

So he opens it, and finds an envelope there.

Mingyu read the body of the email, because a word cought on his eyes.

hi, sorry. I know we have been in no contact for a year and a half, but I want to invite you, we once have something, don't we? :) Love is in the air.docx

He lets out a shaky breath, scared if he opens the document then his heart would shatter to the ground beneath his feet.Oh well, he opens it with hesitation on his face and heart. He takes a deep breath before finally opening the invitation.

The document has three pictures of you with him, the doctor he hates so much with all of his heart despite there's no interaction between them.

It’s a wedding card.

There's the date and time of your wedding ceremony and the reception.

He feels his tears on the edge of his eyes, threatening to fall right now and then, he already has his heart shattered the day you leave and now he feels another throbbing pain with the fact that you will never be his.

[⋆✴︎˚｡⋆]

“Don't marry him” You feel like the time has just stopped right now.

Seeing Mingyu all dressed up in your wedding was definitely on your bingo list— well, last year. but seeing him now? It's just like the burden you had on your shoulder a year ago came back to you.

You used to imagine yourself going through a wedding ceremony with you as the bride and him as the groom.

You're very much confused by his behavior, so you open your mouth, though you didn't say anything because you’re speechless.

Mingyu repeats the words he just said the second time to you, looking at you with hope in his eyes.

“Why?” you asked, you want to add something after that but you halt your actions, waiting for him to answer you.

Mingyu started at the ground for a moment, before looking at you, yet again, “Why? You know why”

You snap, saying no to him only for it to be denied by him, making you say no to him again.

“What?” Then he asked, after pinning him for years, hearing him say that makes your blood boil.

You want to slap Mingyu, but you compose yourself, not wanting to make your special day be ruined by a man that doesn't know and seems like he's not willing to know about your feelings even when you gave him a clear sign.

“No, no Mingyu– You're being mean. stop it.” he can hear the finality of your words, but he didn't want to stop there, “How am i being mean?” there's a stern expression on his face.

“I have been second to Jira my whole life, in everything and that including you. I'm not going to be the person you settle for just because you cannot have her”

“I won't do it, because i've been wasting my entire life loving you but all you see is just Jira, never once i crossed your mind, and you don't have the right to stop me from marrying the man i love” You don't even want to cry anymore, tears for him is already dry long time ago.

Mingyu tries to hold your hand, wanting to confess his feelings, but instead he lets out a question and the second he finishes his sentence he regrets it, “Isn't I the man you love?” his voice is silent, not quite above a whisper.

“Don’t make me laugh Kim Mingyu, you get rid off me as soon as you and Jira reconcile, even both of you were not in a relationship, you run into me when Jira is busy and then the next day you gone for a week and the cycle keep going leaving me stressing over my own feeling”

Before he could say anything, you told him to get out of the room, but you know he's a rock headed person, so you already told the groomsman to wait outside the door after he gets in.

Mingyu heard the door open and he knew it's time for him to get the fuck out and wait for your ceremony, he said something before he leaves, “i love you, i'm sorry” and so he get his last words to you.

For the rest of his life, Mingyu can only hear your voice from a distance, the way Wonwoo kisses you is heart wrenching to the guts of his body.

Now he can only see you again when suddenly bumps into you, or when he goes to your favorite places and on his screen.

And even then, you're not alone, you will be with your new husband that you're marrying today, there's no chance for him to be in your picture.

[sufferu]

Bravo to you for choosing not to let Rem be forgiven so easily. Honestly I've never been a big fan of Rem as a character, sometimes her endless pandering and obsession with subaru just really annoys me instead, and I've never understood people looking at her doing all that and then saying “Wow that's so hot I'm so jealous of Subaru!”

As for the ones who want her deeds to be easily forgiven by everyone, my personal guess is that they all only care about her body and the unheathy way she forces herself to act like the perfect waifu just for Subaru's sake, but subconsciously they can't stand the shit she did either, so they secretly want their favorite waifu to be a perfect being without flaws. But to me, isn't it essential to love a character and accept their flaws as well? They did wrong things, but there's no doubt THEY did them anyway, and that is part of what makes them who they are. Another thing is that forgiveness has to be earned, we're not cruel, coldhearted, or closeminded for not forgiving someone who hurts us. So I too agree with that anon who thinks WHDAA cast need to to beat some sense into Subaru on way too forgiving and tolerating the people who have hurt/killed him.

But now that you've decided to do that, beware of those rabid Rem stans coming after you and I'm worried that their harassment goes overboard and affects your personal life

I will say — I believe that Rem and Subaru’s canon dynamic is one of the most intriguing and multifaceted dynamics in the entire series. Their parallels regarding their insecurities and family members, their mutually codependent tendencies, the way they run the risk of becoming each other’s perfect enablers, the genuine sense of love and affection that runs parallel to the unintentional toxicity fostered within their relationship — it’s all really interesting stuff. In fact, exploring their dynamic through the lens of outsiders (including amnesiac!Rem) finally getting to peer under the hood is one of the main reasons I wanted to write a react fic at all.

As for why people like her — honestly, I think it’s kinda easy to guess? She’s a very cutely designed anime girl, she’s incredibly well-voiced, her insecurities are genuinely relatable, she’s got a super awesome oni power-up transformation, her morning star lends itself to some of the best choreographed action scenes in the series (or at least Season 1), she appeals to the whole “submissive maid” aesthetic that she knows Subaru finds attractive (and that also appeals to the target demographic of Re:Zero specifically, let’s be real here) — and frankly, there are so many scenes in anime where characters we’re supposed to like do fucked up shit that it’s not difficult to just…gloss over the whole “tortured the mc for several hours” part of her character. It’s understandable, especially if you’re not an insane person who spends all their time hyperanalyzing the anime they’re a fan of like I am. I don’t think it’s really that far of a leap for her to develop such a massive following, she was basically designed to be as popular an anime waifu as physically possible.

But then, that clash can become…a little uncomfortable if you’re writing a story where “Rem tortures Subaru” is a major plotpoint, and if you don’t want to reevaluate their entire relationship, it makes sense to find a way to just — get the characters to move along, much like a lot of the irl audience does.

But I really like toxic characters and angst and complicated relationships and all that fun stuff, so that’s what I’m gonna focus on. —Also Rem is WORSE in the LN. Girl starts fantasizing about whisking Subaru away while he’s practically comatose from shock (second Arc 3 loop) and then also makes a comment like “even if he had tried to assault her in her sleep, she knew she never would have resisted” like GIRL??? The idea of not tapping that insane well of potential drama is ludicrous to me lmaoo— especially because I really don’t care about maintaining the status quo ;)

(Also frankly, anyone who would start seriously harassing me over whether or not I share their opinion about a fucking anime girl is too pathetic for me to care about. I honestly don’t think I’ll get that big of a response — especially not on Tumblr “Gay Website” Dot Com — but even if I do…I don’t care, lmao.)

[askhezureviews]

no spoilers/specifics but when you get to Ghostfuckers it becomes so obvious Brandon is doing the writing again

it's the closest helluva has gotten to its season 1 self in all of s2, and it's still not fantastic, if I'm being honest

there's only so much he can do to right the ship

ep11&12 ping right back into Goetia melodrama, because of course

OKKKKkkkk finally sat down and watched this episode!

Hey! Look, it's like, their first actual job in forever!!! They're actually going to the human world again, great!

I'm very relieved Brandon was brought in to rewrite this. I know some Viv fans were upset about the leaks, but I think it was actually a good thing these leaked and sparked enough outrage for Viv to cave in and change it because Millie unaliving herself for being a bad wife is completely inappropriate. I'd personally feel ashamed and embarrassed if I had wrote that. She claimed they had plans for Millie, that she will get her episode in season 2, but she didn't. Even with Brandon's assistance here, she really didn't. I'd say those leaks are proof she lied to her audience, however... at this point, Vivziepop is merely not self aware of her writing and doesn't comprehend the stereotyping she does to her own characters and their stories. So I don't think she lied, she's unable to comprehend that she isn't delivering on what she claims she will.

The episode establishes: -Blitz's business is now bankrupt. He has not paid his employees in over a month. -Wally Wackford knows IMP and hangs out with them?? / wants to hang out with them?? -Ghosts aren't real in Helluva / Hazbin universe -There's infestor demons that eat off angst I guess? First time we're ever seeing one

Seems like a good portion of this episode is a scooby doo reference. The montage scene was unnecessary, you could have cut it for time / budget.

~~~

Regarding Millie: She claims the most screen time, but this episode actually isn't about her. The main focus is on Blitz. It's Blitz's trauma, Blitz's pain, Blitz's melodrama, and she just happens to be on screen dealing with it. We get a small pinch of something, but I'll talk about it after this analysis:

Millie asks Loona to take care of Moxie for her. These two still haven't passed the bechdel test yet. The only thing I recall them talking about outside of the men in their life is when Loona takes a jab at Millie's age in season 1, which also isn't ideal.

Millie claims she "always has fun with Blitz" and that he is her "best friend" which is news to the audience. This is the first time they've ever hung out in an episode. "I've never had a real friend that I didn't wanna f*ck." But you DO want to f*ck her. Earlier in the episode, he had Millie punch a card he's used frequently. Unwavering loyalty in exchange for leaving Moxie and Millie alone on 1 date. In a single episode he seems to have changed his mind quite suddenly and I'm unsure why.

Millie's backstory is chalked up to "She left the farm to become a hitman in Wrath. The market for assassin's is actually inflated in Wrath, it's high competition, so she was in between jobs. Blitz finds her after she stole their kill, and offers to pay her double. She accepts (Even though he went back on this, he does not pay her double. In fact, she barely gets enough to survive between both her and Moxie.)" She's hired by IMP to do various assassin jobs, and then Blitz decides to move to a different ring and use humans as their new clientele. This is an extremely smart move for his business, because there's quite literally zero competition for this. Millie for some reason thinks she "won't fit in"(??? you don't need to?) because imps are only good for their muscle" This doesn't make sense for Millie to say here. If anything she should have been more insecure staying in Wrath BECAUSE she would be actively compared to the higher competition of her birthplace. Here, they've hit a gold mine.

"Blitz, you made me realize I could be anything! Not just a simple farm girl or underpaid goon." But you are. Millie IS a simple farm girl and underpaid goon. Assassins are extremely common jobs for imps in wrath. She has not subverted people's expectations nor does she have a unique job to that of an imp.

"My mom said sweat, blood, and hard work washes the tears right off!" - Okay now THIS is the first piece of Millie development we have received in perhaps ever!! This implies that Millie's mother/family were emotionally unavailable to her as a child. That whenever she was upset/miserable, she was taught to bury her sadness with work. Which indicates she's a workaholic who probably needs therapy / has trouble expressing emotions properly. This would be a direct cause/effect action that shaped her into who she is today. This is an actual real Millie moment, and it comes from a passing comment. I don't think the writers caught on to what they did here, but THIS is good Millie development! THIS is a genuine character trait that is all hers!

~~~

Some stuff that did get a genuine chuckle out of me:

"I should have been a theater critic, I have objectively correct opinions!"- Moxie , It's also nice to see Moxie attempting to be the brains of the operation again, trying to solve their financial crisis, even if there's no way to save it.

"Your husband is still a little fuckable." - That actually made me laugh too despite the context being a little confused

Anyhow, overall the episode felt like it could have been 15 min long. They should have shortened it. We didn't really get much Millie backstory or character development. Instead of being insecure about her womanhood due to stereotypes(bad wife), she's now insecure about her race/species due to stereotypes (inbred brute). It's still not the best, but it's better than the leaked storyboard. Otherwise the entire episode was basically Blitz wanting to fuck a ghost. Also Blitz's trauma... again. Felt like filler you could frankly delete.

[thinking-through-some-things]

Curious about your EPIC rework because I was also disappointed by it

like i mentioned in my other post here (before i gave up), this definitely isn't the only possibility; you could focus the musical around something else. for my version, though...

as i said, i would build the musical around the idea of duty vs desire, and tie that into mercy vs ruthlessness. i think it would focus less on odysseus's guilt overall, which seems to be the real focus of the musical, and focus it more in this direction. still plenty of angst, but a little more pointed.

a lot of my changes probably take the musical further away from the odyssey. i'm actually not too concerned about trying to faithfully follow the source material; i think it's more important to actually tell a coherent story, and when you're abridging the material, you need to cut stuff. just be clear that's what you're doing.

(also i'm not going to cover everything i think needs to be fixed. mostly just elements to support my theme.)

i think it's a given that the saga format doesn't work for the final draft of a musical. no shade, it was a really smart way to gradually release the musical. ultimately though, it limits the story because then they were blocked into sticking with a theme, and you end up with too many epic finale songs... but i'll stick with it to help organize here. i'm just not sticking with a "theme". mostly because i'm getting rid of the wisdom saga to better distribute its songs.

unsurprisingly, i've written far too much and it's poorly organized, so this is just act one. i'll reblog with act two.

act one

overall, i would say act one is by far the stronger of the two. i'm probably going to cut at least 30% of the current act two, but act one mostly just needs editing. some songs might need more work, but mostly they still get to stay in the same place. add some spoken dialogue and you've got a pretty decent start.

the troy saga:

most of the troy stuff is fine. i think it helps to set up this idea of ruthlessness, and shows the peacekeeping side of odysseus. could it be stronger? yeah. but i like it setting this whole thing up. i have 2 main changes here.

1) every time odysseus mentions penelope and telemacus, he needs to mention anticlea. the musical has a bad habit of not introducing characters/elements until they're relevant, and i think it suffers for that. including odysseus's mother in the list of people he wants to get home to makes her death more impactful. i was so confused when she showed up the first time; she needs to be in here from the start.

2) to go with my theme, i would do this: the reason odysseus needs to kill the baby is because the baby would grow up to kill him; however, that doesn't necessarily mean ithaca would suffer. zeus can word it really carefully - i don't think that distinction needs to be immediately clear to the audience, but after you know how the story ends you can go back and realize that when you re-listen to it. this doesn't require much tweaking, but it helps to really set up the idea of making decisions for the greater good vs for selfish reasons (maybe he could have raised the kid? and only he would have died in the end? i want the audience to question this!)

moving into the second half of the saga, i think we need to introduce odysseus's men earlier. maybe a scene of him commanding them in troy? since i'm talking about a full musical instead of the current format, this might just be dialogue, not a song. but i think we definitely need a little more of polites before he dies. i don't really like having odysseus start out untrusting and jumpy, which is how he comes across to me in open arms. it doesn't make sense for this to be a lesson he needs to learn now, after being king of ithaca for well over a decade. originally i was just going to cut him, but my fiance persuaded me to let him stay. plus his death to polyphemus is a very brutal turning point.

instead, i would have a song/scene where we set up eurylochus and polites as odysseus's two advisors, two different sides of his leadership. you could rewrite open arms to fit here. polites argues for presuming peace, and eurylochus views things with suspicion and wants to attack first to keep the men safe. this really helps set up mercy vs ruthlessness. it shows odysseus is already a leader who balances peace and action, and it makes polites's death all the more tragic, because he represents the death of odysseus's inclination towards peace.

finally, i find athena's introduction and focus on being ruthless in this and the next saga confusing. she's mad at him for not being less emotional and more ruthless, but i don't see what that has to do with him being a "warrior of the mind". instead, i would make it clear that she thinks he isn't being cautious enough. she's mad because she thinks he isn't being shrewd, not because he's being nice.

athena and eurylochus should be coming from the same place: we need to be overly cautious and strike first, because that's how you stay safe. and rather than having a jumpy odysseus being taught to trust people by his soft bestie, i think he should be a general, exhausted from fighting for 10 years, jumping on the idea of relying on trust so he can relax and not feel so jumpy. his duty is to balance these two ideas, mercy vs ruthlessness, but because he chooses only mercy without remaining vigilant, polites dies and now he only has eurylochus to give him advice, meaning no one else is trying to suggest mercy. (i don't think eurylochus is bad - actually, he clearly prioritizes the crew and is always suggesting whatever is best for them. but often what is best for you isn't the best for those you come across, which is why it's the leader's job to balance those two things - again, the theme i'm going with in this version.)

anyways, athena needs to focus on pushing odysseus to be more suspicious and calculating, not more ruthless. she scolds him at all the same points, but now it actually makes sense. i don't love their flashback, but i don't have suggestions to fix it, so we'll leave it alone for now.

the cyclops saga

not too many notes here. getting to see the crew more gives it a little more weight (the stage production needs a tiny dialogue scene where you get quips and comments from nobodies so they're a little more recognizable when they die! make people even sadder!), but this is a really chilling series. the exposition bits need rewording (and again, a stage production has the benefit of 1) spoken word, and 2) stage directions so you can just show things happening).

odysseus's convo with athena needs work. as is, this doesn't seem like a good place for "what good would killing do when mercy is a skill more of this world could learn to use." this is supposed to be the stance athena takes at the end of the musical, but this particular act of mercy seems to lead to the death of most of his men in the very next act - which really makes it weird that athena apparently agrees with that sentiment.

i don't hate everything about this line, especially if we actually see athena ruminating over the line over the next 10 years. but it needs to be clear that it is not mercy but pride that leads to the death of his men. or, if we want to make it about mercy instead of pride, it shouldn't be as the sort of threatening brag that it currently is; instead, frame it as "even now, when we've beaten you, we're still choosing to let you live. because i, odysseus, king of ithaca, have chosen to show you mercy." obviously yes it's still his pride, but then when everyone blames his "mercy" for getting his men killed it makes more sense.

(coming back to really hone in on the idea that mercy isn't the problem here - maybe eurylochus notices something is off before polyphemus starts singing, tries to point it out, and gets brushed off as being too suspicious and bloodthirsty? yet again, i find the musical's stance on mercy confusing. is it good? they seem to want it to be - that's definitely what open arms implies, especially since it gets repeated so often. except the musical stresses that mercy is *why* everything went south here, and it rarely actually shows mercy working. it's confusing. i think this whole thing should feel more like odysseus was reckless, the only thing athena calls him that actually makes sense, and that's why this didn't work. the characters don't need to say it directly, but the musical needs to better frame it that way.)

(an aside, but they still grab sheep on their way out? obviously they're still starving but like. i'm side-eyeing the way everyone (in the musical) acts like he was so "merciful" for leaving polyphemus alive, but even after he learns the sheep are polyphemus's friends and their deaths are what drive him to violence, he still makes a point of stealing and killing them... this isn't a serious criticism i'm just poking fun at it. but hypocritical much?)

athena's anger in my goodbye makes no sense to me - not that she's not justified, but that her reasons make no sense. she calls him "sentimental" and "soft", but that's absolutely not the problem here. she should yell at him for being prideful and cocky. accuse him of sparing polyphemus just to feed his own ego, or of being short-sighted - she mentioned the danger of leaving him alive in the last song, why not bring that up again? why doesn't she scold him for foolishly giving up his name? it's really weird that she keeps harping on the idea that he's "emotional".

odysseus's retort is good, but also a bunch of people just died so it's weird that he's so confident about how right he is. "my friend is dead, our foe is blind. the blood we shed, it never dries" from the last song, and "unlike you, every time someone dies I'm left to deal with the strain" in my goodbye are really good lines. more of his position needs to come from his exhaustion, because odysseus is smart. he's a brilliant general. this does a better job of explaining why he's making so many mistakes early on, and why he's pushing back against athena so hard despite the fact that he just fucked up real bad. he was wrong. he should have acted faster like she warned him to. but making him a man, exhausted from a decade of fighting, desperately trying to grant mercy where he can? his pushback makes more sense.

also, him jabbing at her for wanting "to be known" and being alone? really weird. the musical frames athena as this loser whose only friend was odysseus. i don't get it. especially when you're calling her a goddess who doesn't understand feelings right before that? which is she, a powerful goddess or a lonely girl? stick with him accusing her of not understanding human emotions and interactions. it still gives her a reason to stick around - she can be offended by the insinuation that there's something she doesn't understand, and it gives her a reason to dwell on his comments and eventually change.

the ocean saga

eurylochus needs to call odysseus out; if he'd listened to him, if they'd acted faster against polyphemus, they might not have lost those men, including polites. obviously that might not be true, but it feels like that's what his position should be. it's really weird that they're nervous about the wind god because "your luck might run out" rather than "you did just make a bad call that got people killed". especially when odysseus says "i took 600 men to war and not one of them died there." sure, not there, but you just lost a couple to a cyclops. this more deliberate questioning makes the sidebar with "i can't have you planting seeds of doubt" a little more serious. it's not just "what if you're not lucky," but also "what if you're not as sharp? what if you're making mistakes and bad calls?" the luck thing works for the rest of the crew, but eurylochus's role in this musical is to question odysseus and challenge him as a leader, to make sure odysseus is doing what will keep the men safe.

eurylochus questioning odysseus more pointedly makes the betrayal in the next song make more sense. we should already have the sense that he's starting to doubt odysseus's judgement. his "luck running out" doesn't really explain why you're doubting him with the wind bag; but if you think he's hiding things or making bad decisions, suddenly it makes a lot more sense. i think the implication in the show is that it's just curiosity, and we don't even hear eurylochus asking about it. now, if we have already established eurylochus is already questioning odysseus's judgement, it's a little less weird when we learn he's the one who opened it.

again, we need a mention of anticlea, and she should sing with penelope and telemacus.

honestly? basic take here but i like ruthlessness. i'm fine with not changing my theme to use a better word because this one is a banger. and the one animatic with him as a creepy horse? more horse poseidon imagery, please.

i think poseidon needs to call out specifically how hypocritical odysseus is more. lean into that "false righteousness". the problem is that he isn't being "nice" or "merciful", at least not in those moments, not in how he's currently behaving. most of this interpretation is already there; honestly, just changing the delivery of some of the lines would go a long way. "you are far too nice" needs to have the last word almost spat out - poseidon doesn't actually think odysseus is nice; nice is just a word odysseus is hiding behind to justify his actions. i'm sure it could use more work, but at a glance i really like this one.

it goes without saying that the ending sucks ass though.

i can't imagine anyone thinks that was a good ending. idk how to fix it because the current one is so bad it's hard to think of any way to have something good there. you just can't have the jaunty "open this bag" music in there at all. i know they like to mix in motifs and call back to other songs, but it fucking kills all the momentum in what is otherwise a very dramatic song - and we need to be able to take this song seriously, because it's what the entire rest of the musical is based on. i'm open to a completely different ending, but if you want it to stay relatively close to the current staging: poseidon and odysseus stare each other down. poseidon asks "any last words?" and you think odysseus is about to say something dramatic and instead... he yells "eurylochus!" poseidon is confused, but eurylochus responds with "captain!" and, understanding what he's asking for, throws odysseus the wind bag (he helped odysseus close it, so maybe he got it then, or at some other point, idk). and then odysseus opens the bag in poseidon's face. then everything poseidon does is the same, the effect is the same, you just don't get the musical equivalent of a wet pool noodle slapped across your face.

the circe saga

first! an addition! the musical wants athena to be a foil to odysseus, but they do such a poor job of exploring her character or logic at all, it just doesn't work. her character revolves way too much around odysseus. she says goodbye, and then we see her 4 sagas later (half the musical) where, apparently, she's decided odysseus was right because... maybe if she'd agreed with him they would still be friends. and then she defends everything he's done... look, i'm getting rid of god games, so i won't go into that now. yeah, odysseus is still what prompts her to change her mind in my version, but he's just the start of that journey. she's going to have other reasons. i want to add in a couple songs throughout the musical, just to show the transition a bit. additionally, they can help show time passing in odysseus's story by breaking it up a bit.

this first song is a small one. it's just telling us what athena is thinking and what she's going to do. it's basically her mopey and angry that odysseus insulted her. but she's a goddess of wisdom and intellect, so she's kind of intrigued - maybe there is something to learn about leading with kindness. i haven't decided how she ends up back in ithaca, but she's decided to investigate this. i know the popular (not academic, more fandom-related) interpretation of greek gods is that they're all stubborn and that's the whole point, but for the sake of this story and the theme (and also the character), i think athena should take the stand that if there is wisdom to be gained, it is her duty to learn it. again, this one is pretty short - a verse of angry, and then she talks herself down, and then she's setting out to investigate - a little bit to learn something new, maybe a little bit to prove odysseus wrong.

the athena song can also go at the end of the circe arc. i was going to put another one in there, but the pacing and time line don't match well, and monster is definitely the finale to act one. i wanted to fit something along the lines of the start of the wisdom saga in here, but i think i'm going to put it at the beginning of act two, so. only one extra song for now.

onto the actual saga: i think it's done pretty well. some of the phrasing is awkwardly fit into songs, but that might just be me, and it's overall not egregious. i will confess that "she had us in just two words" "come inside" "damn" does make me giggle every time like a 12-year-old boy. i didn't mention it in my post on the musical's women because i don't think the text directly addresses it, but there's a definite implication that circe is as harsh as she is to protect her nymphs from sexual assault, which they might have faced before. removing the undertones of that from her relationship with odysseus was the right call - i don't think that's a conversation this musical actually wants to have, and it muddles her justification for how she handles the men.

circe is also gives us someone to compare odysseus's leadership to; she's basically the only other leader of a cohesive group that we see. her harsh policy stands in direct contrast to odysseus's earlier choice to start with unchecked "mercy". in turn, her nymphs are safe. we see her later learn that there are times where you can extend mercy and trust, so she even has character growth. (you could make a very interesting comparison between circe & her nymphs and the sirens, but that's a discussion for outside of the musical, so i'll leave it for now.) i wouldn't be surprised if other people have criticisms, i just haven't been able to find basically any critical discussion of the musical, so.

you could mostly leave this saga alone, but i'm inclined to take my red pen and make some bigger changes. i'm just not sure how to. i really don't like hermes and the flower being inserted here - again, i think there's too much bloat in the musical of "oh here's a thing that's in this specific bit, clearly just because that's what happens in the odyssey, and then we won't talk about it again." hermes does appear in two songs, but actually, does he need to? i'm of the opinion that the musical needs fewer characters so that it can better focus on developing the ones that actually need to be in here. the only problem is that odysseus needs the flower from hermes to explain why he has magic in the next song. okay, so what if no magic is used, and he just uses his wit to convince her? except that's basically what the plot of the next song is. so at this point i've basically gotten rid of two songs and completely changed the third, and that doesn't really work. or need to happen.

i stand by wanting to remove hermes. i think you can just give odysseus some line to eurylochus about having heard about a plant on these islands that makes one immune to being transformed by magic for a time. i don't think it's important - it's literally a small, one-time detail just to explain why circe doesn't immediately turn him into a pig. he doesn't need magic in done for - he can just fight with a sword while circe is slinging spells at him. and then you can still go into there are other ways.

the one change that i think does need to be made is that odysseus needs to spend a year on the island. he needs to be stuck here. it does mean you have to basically cut the song in half, but that just means the second part, where circe decides to help odysseus, needs to be a reprise. i think you have circe trying to seduce odysseus, and then she's shocked when he rejects her. the difference is that he doesn't fully win her over; instead, she decides to give him and the rest of his crew one year. for one year, his remaining crew recovers on the island and rebuild the ship, helping the nymphs with whatever tasks they ask and basically proving "not all men" are terrible. finally, odysseus shows that there's payoff to being a merciful leader! he saves all of his men! as they're finally preparing to leave, penelope shows up, we get the reprise, and she sends them to the underworld. all is well!

the underworld saga

or, all is not well.

this is where i spell out my theme: while a good leader is merciful, mercy takes time. and that extra time can be detrimental to personal goals.

this is why it's important to mention anticlea earlier, and why the crew spends an extra year on circe's island trying to save the rest of the men. taking a year to save his men makes odysseus a good leader, yes, but it might have cost him a chance to see his mother before she died. it doesn't matter when she actually died in the odyssey - what matters is that this is really what makes odysseus question the cost of mercy. this is where he starts to put his own desires over the safety of the crew, because the cost of taking too long is suddenly real - as is the cost of taking time to be merciful.

i actually don't have too much to add. some edits might need to be made to fit with other changes, but overall it's fine.

okay, there's act one! this is definitely long enough, so i'll reblog with act two. suggestions and conversation are welcome; again, my fiance already changed my mind on one part. i haven't actually see any discussion on changes yet, so i'm happy to consider other changes, or for mine to be challenged (by something other than "actually this is perfect").

[dootznbootz]

Do you have any Penelope fic recommendations ?

I'd love to read some stories about Penelope interacting with Laertes, Ctimene, Euryclea or take care of poor Anticlea.

Or maybe about Penelope as a queen, her responsibilities and feelings (other than waiting for Odysseus ofc).

OR Penelope with Athena ! That'd be so awesome too !

Heck even Penelope and Telemachus deserve to be explored more.

Or maybe something about her parents, her naiad mother and her sister Iphtime.

Because OdyPen is awesome and all, best couple, but like you said in your post, the water queen needs to be explored more !

She so does need to be explored more!!! ;~;

Like it's literally my favorite thing. I have basically her whole life planned out (alongside Helen's as they are very close in mine (along with Menelaus, Pollux, and Castor. They were a weird ragtag group of kids.) and I love her to bits!!! Like, yeah, she "technically" has less moments than Odysseus in the Odyssey and with her stress, that changes things but there is SOO much there to play with!!! AND THAT'S JUST WITH THE ODYSSEY

The sneeze of death? All her prayers for the suitor's doom? Her sassing Telemachus when he doesn't spill the beans right away? "You bold and brazen bitch!" to Melantho? LIKEMINDED?! You know how fun it is while writing to always be thinking about how two characters constantly mirror one another? SO MUCH FUN!!! slkdfj

she's so silly and I love her so much lksdfj

so like, I'm working on fics right now (so many wips ;~; ) but I have two of mine out where I hopefully do a good job of characterizing her. It's my main goal honestly to make her the most fleshed out character out of everyone.

Scraps - Silly OdyPen oneshot but I do characterize her a lot in it. (some of this isn't "canon" to Dootzverse anymore as this was my first fic and when I was kind of planning things out)

Worth the Mess - OdyPen Sickfic mostly from Odysseus POV but rest assured, you will know a lot about my lil shit Water Wife. Like a lot about her. Probably too much lol (remember this silly lil moodboard I did for her? Yeah. It'll make sense. I really get silly with Penelope.)

Here's a few fics that like, give her some focus (but still very "odypen", I haven't really browsed fics in a while though (I won't lie, I'm pretty picky with characterization. ;~; even some of my fave fics make me raise my brow sometimes. like if they make it seem as though Penelope would kind of blame him for the goddesses or see it as cheating And if I see Diomedes in the tags, I'm out :P and I don't like excessive whump or angst really. ) I should probably look around again lol.)

Take Courage, My Heart - lil bit of Penelope's thoughts as they reunite. short and sweet.

The Long Way Home - A short and poetic kind of view into her feelings over the years.

I fear from the Path (that leads me to you) - Not really Penelope centered but it's sweet and cute :)

Mother Rages - Probably the most Penelope focused one and very fun. Talking about her anger about the Suitors.

Those are the ones I know of :') (though as I said, I have not browsed in a while, there's probably more! Hopefully!)

[mari-lair]

your posts about this newest chapter are so real because it disappointed me so much.

It was way too lighthearted and just seemed like a huge joke. I was expecting the trial to have suspense where you can really feel for the characters and wonder what will happen next, but it just ended up being comedic. It was funny, I’ll give it that, but I really really wanted some angst.

This may just be me, but Teru felt so out of canon to me. I can understand him putting on that “flawless student council��� mask but it feels odd considering he is around mostly supernaturals. He is shown to be very intelligent and considering he is an exorcist and they are school mysteries why tf would that “look at how beautiful I am I could never” argument work. It was funny, sure, but just seemed out of canon for him.

Akane felt a little out of canon too to me? Probably not but he seemed to fully accept his role as a judge with little to no guilt at all. We don’t really get him looking guiltily at Teru or feeling frustrated, he’s just kind of there. Probably because (as always) the story focused on Hanako, Yashiro, and Tsukasa.

NOW UGHH TSUKASA IS SO FAVORITED ITS PAINFUL. You’re telling me after all that suspense around the clock keepers he takes them out in TWO PANELS. The clock keepers seem like a fucking joke in this chapter instead of the powerful mysterious beings they have shown to be previously.

Overall I expected something much more satisfying and I hope next chapter will be a little better because the last chapter got me so excited for nothing.

just my opinion though, I know some people enjoyed this chapter and that’s totally ok! just not my personal favorite

That's a mood ya-rr-ow. Big mood.

Many people enjoyed the chapter, and I'm happy for them, but I was also majorly disappointed so I'll talk about what you mentioned here and add some other things.

(I will just focus on the negatives here so if you're feeling hyped about the chapter. I am sorry, I wouldn't recommend reading this)

Okay let's go

Chapter 108 went out of its way to create a tense atmosphere, it was mostly a set up and hype piece for the trial.

Mirai was a beast, but Akane was the one that really set up the tone. He had the power to make Teru harmless, which only hyped up the other clock keepers since he is the lowest ranking keeper. Mirai and Kako's supposed power was said to be dangerous enough to make Akane, who hates supernaturals and is so firm in his beliefs, feel cornered, switch sides to 'do his duties', his vague words hinting that there is more to this trial than it seems on the surface.

So I don't think we were being delusional to expect this trial to be dramatic. To have angst. Or at least, character dept. To be important.

But despite the trial being the title, the spotlight, we got none of it: Not only is the trial treated as a joke, which I already don't vibe with considering how tense the atmosphere in chapter 108 is. It is an empty joke.

It doesn't teach us anything about the characters, it doesn't give any new information. Nothing.

Hanako's trial was a gag. He isn't even my priority character, but considering how he have the title of 'leader of the mysteries' and had been put on trial before for the Yorishiro's destruction, it is a baffling choice to make Kako not mention this big BIG crime when judging him.

Nene's trial 'revealed' she likes Hanako and want to confess to him. Which she has been doing this whole manga.

We could talk about her time crimes (every time travel that made her meet Amane), try to bargain her lifespan since this is the main conflict in the story and they are talking to the keepers of time. They could talk about her crime of helping to destroy the yorishiros with Hanako, or just acknowledge she is still a threat since she is the Kannagi, the only one capable of ripping their yorishiro in the first place. But no, those are stupid, let's spend 4 full pages of a monthly manga to tease a confession she already did in the very previous chapter.

Teru revealed he has some craving for destruction on him. Which surprise, surprise! It also isn't new information! How nice!

( I talked about his love for the idea of destruction and how it's almost an escapism recently, here you go if you're curious)

About Teru and Akane's acting weird. That's not them being ooc, that's Aidairo making a narrative choice to not take anything serious, including his own characters. Everyone is acting like themselves, and nothing contradicts what has been established about their personalities, but their competence has been drastically downgraded to move the plot quickly.

Teru has the bad habit of becoming pathetic when he has strong feelings, like locking himself in his room and hiding under the covers after his fight with Kou, immediately hitting Akane's stab wound when he is too late to rescue aoi cause the situation stressed him. So it is in character that he wants to kill Akane, who has always been his stress relief.

However, because Teru takes things so personally, and it was stablished in chapter 108 that Teru is way more bothered by Akane's betrayal than being in a court of law, it makes no sense that he treat it as a normal court instead of using his very obvious alibi that he couldn't destroy the clock because he was with Akane. Teru doesn't turn this court into the confrontation that would bring attention to their split up, doesn't go "Are you doing to deny my alibi now?? betray me again??" or question "So? We are here! Why did it had to be now??" or anything that builds up on the last chapter to expand it.

Cause Aidairo decided the court doesn't matter. The build up doesn't matter. Once more, the consequences are an afterthought. We don't need the answers to anything.

Akane is still guilty, he can't look at Teru in the eye, can't defend him, but he goes "!!!" when Teru finally calls for him, paying full attention.

But this is comedic. And as i mentioned above, Teru doesn't say anything useful, anything with more depth than what we already know: that he is angry by Akane's betrayal and hasn't forgiven him.

We TRULY are given nothing in this trial.

Which is insane, cause even the promo art had details to build intrigue, a vague idea that while the chapter would be comedic in nature, it would explain more about the clock keepers, or at least expand on their boundaries.

Like, what are those numbers on the scale? will they be judged by year? Will a lie make their time be stolen? oooh what could it be! Can't wait for the chapter!

And the chapter comes, and there is nothing. The whole trial feels like filler. They treated the audience as a fool for being excited.

That's why this big twist at the end? I don't care.

As you said Tsukasa is overpowered, they are Aidairo's golden child. And they will break established lore rules and make a joke out of everyone else just cause he can.

It's not just Teru and Akane who were nerfed to make the plot move faster, not allowed to have any proper focus. The clock keepers were also a joke, acting 'in character' but more incompetent than they have been stablished to be.

Tsukasa op moment doesn't make me go "wow he is so cool" it made me look at the clock keepers and go "You are all are stupid"

Cause Tsukasa has the judgment seal?? And he was already sentenced as guilty??? There are three clock keepers in the room too? So why not... you know... restrict him again...?

The clock keepers is a school rumor that was introduced all the way back in chapter 23. Like you said they are supposed to be super op! They are a mystery so hyped up that just Mirai's power (who isn't the strongest keeper) can throw the intire school into chaos in the Near Shore, where supernaturals are debuffed.

Even before Tsukasa attacked he made the clock keepers act incompetent, to make him look more mysterious and cool in comparison.

These very old and supposedly op school mysteries know Yugi Amane is Hanako, but they don't know who Amane's twin brother 'Tsukasa' is, they also don't refer to him as a yorishiro despite the seal being in his face, and use titles for every other character (Leader of the school mysteries. Kannagi. Student Body Representative)

Which might look like a small thing, silly nitpick, but it shows the favoritism isn't just for a twist. Aidairo naturally likes Tsukasa more than his own narrative, and is willing to make others be less competent for the sake of it.

I don't think Kako will die. That would objectively be bad writing at this point. He'll probably be back in the next chap, a la "teru got fucked up by No.6" and "Akane got stabbed by Aoi but he lives bitch" or even "i always had a ton of clones, like Mei of the art room" but it is still disappointing to see him and Mirai get fucked up in their own boundary after all the hype they have accumulated through the story.

There is a hint Akane can be a yorishiro at the end of the chapter, and that is cool, genuinely really cool, but I am tired of getting excited over possibilities and 'promises for the future'. I want something concrete.

Speaking of which, I don't think Akane will die. This is just another bait to keep reading like when No.6 slashed Teru, Kou, and Akane and we didn't get any answers for a few months before 'oh well nothing happened :) no consequences to be had here folks!'

"But Tsukasa has always killed everyone that he pulled the heart of! there is Mitsuba, and The puffer fish of the mermaid, and the previous No.3 (the bird)" And to that I say I trust Akane's ability to say fuck to fate.

My boy gets new death flags every year, he collects them like pokemon cards, you all should have gotten used to it.

He also survived his bae stabbing him, this isn't new. Sucks to be Tsukasa and die by a stab in the gut and all but Akane is built differently (quite literally with two bodies).

He is also in his own boundary, so if Aoi doesn't kill him while in the territory of another mystery, but he dies in No.1's boundary I will... idk probably just sigh.

In short, Aidairo treated this as joke, so I will treat their cliffhanger as one too. Give me reasons to care in chapter 110. Cause at the moment? I don't.

[madcatlad]

I just came to a angst realization....

(Thank you to @shirazens for allowing me to use their comment)

I literally just came to this conclusion in a comment threat under my "Aaron Needs Friends" post with @shirazens .

In summary Aarmau comes off as unnatural

I think the main issue is how rushed and force the relationship was in the series, and the fact that it change key elements in the story to make a place for itself.

The Aarmau agenda also had to down other characters to build itself up, which sucks. A lot of character assassination stem from Aarmau. Including the way Aphmau interacts with her support. But I'd like to focus on how unnatural (and frankly problematic) this relationship comes across if you actually pay attention to how they interact with eachother.

And their relationship is certainly off.

@shirazens

THIS is why I've always disliked his character, he felt so disconnected.

also he continues to constantly mourn his past wife WHILE getting closer to aphmau which feels like to me he was just using her if that makes sense?

Their relationahip has always come across as strange.

In my former post I address a portion of this problem with Aaron not having any relationships outside of Aphmau. It is odd.

Aaron- despite being so closed off and mysterious and (quite rude in some instances), CONTINUED to follow her group around for months...but NEVER take an interest in ANYONE??? Except Aph. That is mad weird. If you like her so much to risk your life for her consistently why avoid her Support System so adamantly???

It makes the relationship seem very strange. Almost like Aaron is isolating Aphmau from her friends when building their relationship. They only really talked about his trauma or her stress-

Aaron and Aphmau are TRAUMA BONDING...

It hit me like a train! It isn't romance, it isn't a love story. It is codependency!

Aph ONLY goes to Aaron when she is stressed about her responsibilities. "Because he understands". And in turn Aaron's only personality trait is trauma- and he only really opens up to (or talks at all) to Aphmau. Think about it, this man is FOLLOWING her- for seemingly NO REASON by time the Post-Irene-Dimension arc roles around! "Having nothing" isn't really a logical reason anymore. He had NO motive to be present. He's made no connections, no character growth, no earthly ties, so WHY are you following the 🎆"magical friendship woman"🎆 if you don't want to make friends???

And I think this is great writing potential. This makes sense for the storyline in season two, as Aph was extremely overwhelmed, and the steaks had just risen from village quarrels to Armageddon. And I definitely can see where @shirazens was going with the how Aaron saw Aphmau, as a stand in or familiarity to his wife, or that he was using Aphmau to get a semblance of his late wife, Lily.

Personally I'm not amongst the re-write clan of aph-fans, (I prefer to progess with the shit show we were given). But this is a juicy narrative to explore for both, especially if you don't want to throw out Aarmau all together.

If you want to get angsty, you could argue that Aaron being so distant to Aph's support group was to isolate her from them. Again, this fits, and I am well aware Jesson did not intend this BUT Aphmau DID become a lot more distant to her companions for Aaron's sake. She became dismissive of their concerns, argued with their suspicions, and lowkey berated them because "she trusted him" and expected everyone to follow suit (fr a lot of them were so real for that, homie was acting up- ahem- Laurence- ahem- Katelyn). She put Aaron on a pedestal out of nowhere, and vouched for him undeservingly. You could argue that this was a result of isolating her, you could argue that this was just Aph blindness to Aaron's faults.

And this also really REALLY fits well with the Irene VS Shad motif and how that entire mess went down between them. I can totally see those two being codepent with one another as well with their similar struggles and pain. I can see them relying on one another too heavily. I can see that leading to suck strong feelings of betrayal. Especially if Shad was as isolated as Aaron. In fact I'd say Irene and Shad damn near prove this idea.

Fun right?

[mattoidmeerkat]

This is me working through my main issues with Bathena in 7x01. If you have no issues with the transition from 6x18 to 7x01, I'm happy for you and there's nothing to see here. If you'd do see some issues and/or are willing to help me work through some of them, please continue reading after the cut.

Disclaimer: The long hiatus and my recent cold definitely did not positively influence my experience. I'm aware of this.

Man, I'm so conflicted about Bathena's story in 7x01. I mean, the acting was top notch. The scenes and dialogue? Instant classics. The dancing? Swoooon. And we finally get to explore the foundation of their relationship? What's not to love?

Well, this really feels like the perfect follow up to Season 4. They had just addressed their communications issues and still had topics to work through. They would soon be empty nesters and didn't know how that would impact them.

But this isn't the beginning of Season 5. This is Season 7. Since then we have seen Athena and Bobby go through so much separately and together. They have grown closer and have developed their communication skills and the foundation of their relationship.

They struggled together and supported each other through the Hudson ordeal and the fallout around Harry in 5A. We've seen them make time to focus on their intimate relationship (5x09, 6x13) and to sharing personal history (5x15, 6x02, 6x03, 6x13) and support each other through oh so much personal trauma (5A, 5x14, 5x16, 5x17, 6x02, 6x03, 6x09, 6x12, 6x17). They've put the other's happiness before their own without a moment's hesitation (5x05) and developed a deep and easy intimacy with each other (5x08, 5x09, 5x11, 5x15, 5x17, 6x02, 6x08, 6x12, 6x13, 6x17) without ever losing their individuality in the process. Athena built a relationship with Bobby's sponsor and Bobby shared his AA world with her. Athena allowed herself to be vulnerable with him by admitting fears while she developed a deep understanding of how Bobby worked on a fundamental level (6x14).

And then Tim came back and decided nope, none of this. Gonna reset Athena to Season 4 (when he left as showrunner) and leave Bobby as confused as me.

I love me some good angst and conflict to explore characters and their dynamics. But what explanation were we given for this drastic change in Athena's personality? She is afraid to find out who they are when it's just the two of them? Which we have just seen again and again in Season 5 but much more so in Season 6?

Characters being flawed and acting irrationally is not bad writing. On the contrary, it can be excellent writing because flawless characters are boring and bland. And Athena and Bobby are so deliciously flawed. Have been from the very beginning.

So why not provide us with an explanation for how 6x18 Athena went from happy and confident in her marriage after settling into her empty nest with Bobby for a year, to the neurotic mess we see in 7x01? (A highly entertaining and cute mess, but still a completely different Athena than literally one episode before.)

How did 6x18 Athena, after recently celebrating her fourth wedding anniversary with Bobby and saving him from a bridge collapse, from one moment to the other decide to go to therapy (something she canonically avoids like the plague - see Seasons 3, 4, and 5) and do a 180 on cruises (despite copious discussions of cruises her fear did not come up with Bobby in 5x18, 6x01 or 6x18, with May in 6x01, or with Hen in 6x01, or in the conversation about cruises with her parents in 6x01 despite those two apparently being responsible for that fear)? How did that Athena then board the cruise with Bobby at the end of 6x18 full of joy and happy anticipation after a last minute cancellation? And how did Athena then manage to have a therapist appointment about the last-minute cruise two months in advance somehow?

I'd love to find some explanations for this beyond sloppy writing at best and blatant disregard for the prior story lines at worst.

At this point my only hope is that the next two episodes will shed some light onto what exactly triggered Athena's abrupt change in personality from one episode to the other. (actually retroactively within the previous episode somehow) But I won't get my hopes up too much because so many of Athena's, Bobby's and Bathena's story lines have been left to fizzle out without any kind of explanation or resolutions over the years (under both Tim and Kirsten).

So what's my takeaway here? I desperately want to love this episode. It has so many amazing scenes. But the retconning is making it really difficult for me to process as a coherent story line. And that's on me. Shows do this all the time. THIS show has done it plenty of times in the past.

But I feel so sad that I seem to care more about Season 5 and 6 Bathena than the show itself. It feels dismissive of the growth those two have gone through. And it makes me fearful of what kind of disregard the show might display towards these characters, their arcs, and their growth journeys in the future.

Thoughts? Helpful ideas? Number of a good therapist? 😅️ (One that doesn't just say "I'm sure you'll be fine.")

[stupidrant]

Thank you for tackling another facet of fandom's misogyny which is justifying the hatred for and dismissal of story important female characters and their no less important relationships with male leads by means of invented (and often completely ridiculous) M/M ships. Hei**tre*s is a perfect example of that as it's preferred over a canon romantic storyline for Atreus (which is Atreus/Angrboda). Whereas Heimdall is worshiped and prioritized over Angrboda despite the fact that he is a textbook filler character and a stereotypical two dimensional secondary antagonist "who dies first".

Yet Angrboda whose every single scene brings something new to the story or moves the plot and whose interactions with Atreus are so vital to said plot you cannot omit a single one of them without the game becoming completely different and Atreus's arc crumbling and losing logic, cohesion and sense is dismissed as "boring".

This is that "woke misogyny" that we discussed before (and proves yet again how gamebros and "progressives" are in fact the two sides of the same bigoted coin, just like Alphas and Nice Guys).

Furthermore, this "progressive misogyny" pattern often includes those people making up "arguments" as to why male lead's relationship with a multi-faceted female character is supposedly "unhealthy" or "forced" (which is laughable given their own fanon ships have zero basis in canon). But their imagined M/M ship is somehow "complex and inspiring" because they want a male character they (often undeservedly) put on a pedestal (in this case Heimdall) to get a trophy in the form of another character (Atreus). Whom they - and that's the most absurd part - often also hate as much as they do his canon female love interest. But deem this "worthless and annoying fun-sponge" to be good enough to be a prize for their favourite man.

It's the same toxic thinking that, within the non-romantic realm, reduced Atreus to Kratos's prize and then concluded he wasn't worth becoming one. However, trolls decided that Atreus still might fulfill their fantasy of Thrud/Atreus or Heimdall/Atreus and become a prize for one of them. That's why their favourite moments in their interactions is when Thrud or Heimdall exert physical violence against Atreus and "put that runt in place".

Meanwhile, Angrboda is also seen as an "unworthy" prize, just for Atreus. It all boils down to dehumanization and treating one character as an accessory for another (and shoes how sexism affects characters regardless of gender, just in a different way). That's why canon Atreboda makes trolls so angry as it's an equal and supportive relationship for both of them.

You are also correct in seeing the potential in Skjoldr, sadly, likely becoming that glorified secondary male character whom trolls might use as a perfect cover for their misogyny. So they could continue dismissing or putting down Angrboda to prop up Atreus's interactions with Skjoldr and Thrud. Another scenario that isn't out of the realm of possibility is, as you noted, Atreus forming a trio with Skjoldr and Thrud, with Angrboda being pushed to sidelines.

Now, obviously, canonically neither Skjoldr nor Thrud would ever become Atreus's love interests and are most likely going to have a romantic arc of their own, with one another. But before it happens or in the process of it happening the writers/developers might opt for the "bros over romance" route in regards to A/T/S trio vs Atreboda relationship. It's all the more plausible if the other, grim scenario I suggested before comes to pass and Skjoldr is ultimately sacrificed for Thrud's angst (and, in this case, Atreus's as well, in a platonic sense).

With the criticism she gets, i think they will go against the “bros over atreboda” thing. I think atreboda will be a bigger focus and understandably so (or at least im hoping they will. as i said before, they continued with atreus despite trolls. Im expecting them to do the same with angrboda) I’ve noticed most main (or only) love interests get treated like this. And its usually the female ones in particular. i dont understand why so many people hate on them all the time? Its not like theyre always the same yet there is smth “unappealing” to so many people about said love interests all the time. I wonder if it has to do with the “not like other girls” sort of thing..

[the-worms-in-your-bones]

a post about my time lord ocs because @oxbowreality reality asked

So I've got six: Foxilquinn, Azdran, Maxin, Jerex, Ensil, and Morgan

Fox is my main oc, all of the others kind of just spawned in his story and got backstories

Fox started as the kid from a thoschei has a child au, he's born on a mildly broken loom during the unit era and stays on earth for a bit until the cia hears about him and basically kidnaps him and take him to gallifrey when hes six. He then gets put mainly under brax's care because he's a) the doctors brother and b) i just think brax in charge of a small child would be funny

(fox is also trans, which is not entirely relevant to the story because i am a firm believer in the fact that time lords don't care about gender in the same way humans do, but i need you to know that)

Anyway, fox ends up at the academy at the same time as romana and they become friends, but he leaves gallifrey soon after graduating because he can't deal with how stifling time lord society is. He does eventually meet up with her again while she's traveling with the doctor though. He also spends some time as a bounty hunter.

When romana gets captured by the daleks he goes looking for her, but ends up getting himself half blown up, after romana gets back she convinces him to maybe chill with the whole running around the universe things for a bit given the whole almost dying thing and he ends up teaching at the academy

This is where four of the other ocs come in, they're his students (also they all graduate only a short period of time before the time war)

Az is from the house of Oakdown (partially because i suck at coming up with house names and partially for angst reasons), they're nonverbal and use a shitty old data pad as an aac device, it breaks a lot, but they refuse to get a new one because they have a ton of programs on that one that they're not entirely sure they could replicate. They're main area of study is either linguistics or zoology, i have not decided, though their parents want them to go into politics, they absolutely do not want this. They disappear pretty early in the war, having fallen through a rift caused by the fighting and ending up on earth, where fox later finds them

Maxin is Maxil's daughter (hence the name). She's interested in military strategy as an area of study and ends up becoming a general during the time war (before realizing that she's basically sending people to their deaths while she stays behind in the capitol and ends up joining the resistance and trying to get as many people away from the war as she can)

Jerex is from Narvin's house (because narvin) and his focus at the academy is tardis engineering. His parents were tardis engineers and he grew up around tardises and tend to like them more than other people. By the time he's in fox's class he's already bonded to a tardis. He leaves gallifrey pretty soon after the academy and ends up being a neutral place for any renegades to go to get their tardises repaired (and also probably ships of other travelers, but he does really like getting to meet new tardises, except for the masters tardis, which kind of scares him). He does get taken back to gallifrey during the war and they try to make him help build stronger battle tardises, but he hates this and hates seeing the damaged and hurt tardises coming back with equally damaged pilots, so he also goes to join the resistance and works on building defenses and helps alter tardises so they're harder to track so they can be used to help people rather than serve rassilons agenda

Ensil is arcalian, not sure which house though. His area of study is ancient gallifrey and he is a lot less concerned with crossing or disrupting timelines than he should be. His time sense isn't the best so being somewhere he really shouldn't be for timeline reasons doesn't bother him, which is good for him given that he really wants to go visit ancient gallifrey (he annoys jerex about taking him there since he has a tardis on a ragular basis, jerex is too anxious about breaking the rules to even consider saying yes). He ends up getting drafted and dying pretty early in the war

Morgan is fox's daughter and is born during his third regeneration (when he's around 800), this is after the time war and she is half human, though still has the typical gallifreyan traits (two hearts, extra dimensional senses, ability to communicate telepathically (which she has figured out she can use to talk to animals, much to fox's annoyance as he's really trying to teach her not to go up to wild animals))

[itsjaywalkers]

ejehehe do ya have boxer james au head canon sorry im new here and just curious

I DO i just . don't know if i can anything new AND spoiler free considering this whole thing started here on tumblr

but !! i don't mind indulging u nonnie, i love talking about that au, and since you're new hopefully this won't seem too repetitive for u <3

reg has always been into journalism but the reason why he decided to focus on boxing is because of sirius!! it was a way to combine his passion AND his appreciation for his brother so it seemed like the perfect idea

as u can see the black brothers have a great relationship in this one and they left home together (but reg still talks to their parents on occassion)

james' trainer used to be his dad since monty was a very famous and admired boxer until he retired but . some shit happened and now james doesn't even speak to his father

sirius and james do not get along in this fic . they're rivals and james is threatening to take sirius' spot at the top so . they're openly hostile with each other and fans always take sides

regulus secretly enjoys being forced to interview james bc he finds him intriguing (and really fucking attractive but that's neither here nor there)

lily and james are sort of friends here bc they used to hook up (they still kinda do when the story starts) and reg gets soooo jealous whenever he sees them together

despite them getting along . there WILL be black brothers angst . considering reg is fucking the enemy

james and reg are always indirecting each other on twitter

james is a Prick in this one, he's my most arrogant james so far and he has . terrible anger issues .

this is one of the main reasons why his relationship with reg is so messy during most of the story (james does grow and change quite a bit throughout it tho)

barty loses a lot of his fights on purpose and lets himself be hurt because he has a very concerning obsession with the nurse (yes evan is the nurse)

barty and james' beef is even more legendary than sirius and james' beef simply bc their rivalry is absolutely unhinged and they lose all sense of decorum or sportsmanshin when they're in each other's vicinity

this fic is gonna be very explicit like . oby level explicit . it'll take a bit to start but once it does.. Yeah

peter and sirius are besties in this one and believe me the irony isn't lost on me

james and reg are caught fucking a few times . and it never stops them from continuing fucking . in fact, james gets even more enthusiastic

reg is trans in this one <3

genuinely considering writing a rosekiller side story in this one bc . i'm kinda obsessed with them here

reg's only friend (apart from barty once he meets him and his brother) is pandora, who's one of his coworkers and the one who has to hear all the graphic details about his hookups with james

she's a lot more interested in the pretty ginger referee she sees whenever she accompanies reg to the matches tho..

i'm planning to be . kinda realistic when it comes to portraying the repercussions of getting involved with a famous athlete (especially considering reg's job) and the whole relationship going public

james' most important ritual/good luck charm involves reg getting on his knees <3 after they start hooking up he refuses to get on the ring without reg sucking him off first

remus is very against james getting involved with reg (even tho he knows that mf is gonna end up doing whatever the hell he wants)

james and remus have been friends since they were kids so despite all the bickering and arguing they're very close

james doesn't wear glasses often because of all the fighting (but reg likes him better with them)

and idk what else to say i feel like i've talked so much about this au that there's nothing u guys don't know already lmao

[ot7stan4life]

“Drunk-Dazed”

Yoohyeon (Dreamcatcher) x Female Reader

(1 part - completed ✅)

Word Count: 8265

Summary: Being a member in the debut lineup for HFE/Dreamcatcher Company’s new girl group is stressful for a number of reasons, but your increasingly complicated feelings for a certain tall brunette from your senior group rapidly becomes the main one when you’re shoved into a dark room to find her unbuttoning her shirt…

Warnings: angst, cursing, alcohol use, mild sexual content

This story features appearances of idols: Yujin (IVE), Yeji (Itzy), Heejin (ARTMS), & Yves/Sooyoung (soloist - formerly LOONA)

"C'mon, unnie," a voice whined, breaking my focus on the lyrics in front of me. "Give it a rest. You've been writing all day." From my peripheral I could see a pout on the brunette's face.

"I have not been writing all day," I countered, putting my pen back over my notebook page in the hopes that a line would magically come out of it. I had admittedly been working for a few hours and managed to write an entire song already. But this one still felt like it was missing something. That last finishing touch. And I couldn't leave until I figured it out. I didn't like splitting my writing sessions up; my songs have to be completed in one sitting, because I feared I'd be in a different mindset when I picked it up again and wouldn't be able to do it justice.

"Right, like eight hours isn't 'all day,'" the younger member mocked and I could practically hear her eye roll from her spot in the doorway. Her words caused me to let go of my pen and turn around in my chair to narrow my eyes at her. "Okay, maybe I was exaggerating a little..."

“‘A little,'" I muttered, spinning back around.

She rushed over, sitting on the bed next to the desk and grabbing my knee before I could pick my pen back up. "But I really think you should take a break." I paused to look at her for a moment, trying hard to resist. "You've been working a lot lately, even after practice hours... especially after practice hours." I forced a smile and shook my head, turning to the side to fight back a sarcastic laugh. "I'm serious, unnie," she said, bringing my eyes back to hers, "We're all worried about you."

I blinked as she stared back, completely serious. Had it really gotten that bad? I mean, our debut was nearing, so of course I'd been working harder these days. I often took time out of my breaks to work on writing and producing: perfecting the songs we planned to put on the album. But, that's what everyone does, right? That's what I was expected to do as an idol.

I sighed. Maybe I was going a little overboard. Shaking my head once more, I replied, "I'm sorry, Yujin." Taking a deep breath, I rubbed my hands over my face as I exhaled. "I didn't mean to make you guys worry." My lips turned down when my eyes met hers again. Sometimes I wondered what I did to deserve such caring members.

Yujin's warm, brown eyes shined in the lamp light as a smile slowly spread across her lips, exposing her dimples. "It's okay, unnie," she said, and suddenly launched forward, jumping on me and wrapping her arms around my shoulders. I laughed, still somewhat unused to her physical affection. She really did suit the role of maknae perfectly, always acting clingy and cute towards me like a puppy. "I know you're doing it for us," she whispered, making my chest feel warm.

There was a brief moment of silence where I allowed myself to appreciate the support and love I felt from the young singer on my lap. She probably had a million things on her mind being so young, away from home, and having pressures and expectations put on her that nobody her age should ever have to deal with. Yet, she still chose to prioritize me over all of it. The funny thing is, I was the oldest member, so I should've been the one taking care of her, not the other way around.

"This does mean you're gonna take a break now, right?" Yujin mumbled into my shoulder before backing away.

I laughed. "Yes, that's what it means." She giggled and stood up, pulling me up with her like she thought I might've been lying, still planning to stay planted in that chair for the rest of the night.

"Good, because your girlfriend invited you to a party." A voice from outside the room cut in, directing my eyes to the open doorway. There stood a muscular girl with golden hair pulled back in a half-up half-down hairstyle.

"Who, you?" Yujin replied, raising her eyebrows in disbelief, "Because last time I checked she was my-"

"I don't remember inviting Y/N to a party." Yet another voice interrupted the youngest member, appearing behind the blonde. She nonchalantly popped what I assumed was a peanut in her mouth, making her short, dark red hair flop to one side before she smirked and sent me a wink.

"Sooyoung unnie~" Yujin dragged out, whining at the red-haired member, "you ruined my line." I just stood there with pink cheeks as I watched the all-too-familiar scene play out in front of me.

"Blame Heejin, she's the one who said my name." Sooyoung shrugged, leaning one of her hands near the top of the door frame.

"She said 'Y/N's girlfriend,'" Yujin grumbled, clearly annoyed.

"Exactly," Sooyoung said, sending the maknae a tight-lipped smile.

"Uh, clearly I was referring to myself," Heejin butted in before the youngest member could get a word in. And, just like that, the room erupted into chaos, all three members yelling and arguing over each other.

If you had told me a few years ago that three of my future group members would be fighting over me, I would've laughed in your face, even if they were joking. And, yet, here I stand.

"Guys, guys please," I raised my voice loud enough to be heard over the bickering. Luckily they started to quiet down after getting their last remarks in and sneering at each other. "Enough with the joking-"

"Oh, you think we're joking." Sooyoung deadpanned, then looked me up and down in a way that made me feel weak in the knees.

"So is Y/N coming to Minji's party?" A fourth voice asked, completely oblivious to what just went down (or, maybe just so used to it that she had tuned the bickering out). All eyes landed on the brown and pink haired member like she had just exposed their secret.

"Yeji..." Heejin said disappointedly.

"Wait, I thought you were talking about Yoohyeon," Yujin furrowed her eyebrows.

"I thought you were talking about me." Sooyoung added, feigning cluelessness.

"Be quiet!" The other two members said in unison, only making the red-haired woman smile proudly.

"I was talking about Yoohyeon," Heejin explained. "It's Minji's party, but Yoohyeon's the one who invited us."

It took a moment to process, but once everything clicked, I shouted, "Yah! Yoohyeon's not my girlfriend."

"Right, and Sooyoung's not attracted to women." Heejin muttered, making the maknae bust out laughing.

"Yah, watch it, hypocrite." Sooyoung raised her chin towards the youngest.

"She's the hypocrite." Yujin giggled, pointing at Heejin. "And she's not wrong."

"You're all missing the point here," the blonde took over, turning back towards me, "Y/N is the hypocrite."

"I-"

"Nope. You get no say in this." Heejin pointed a finger at me and then quickly put it down. "We all know you like her."

"Yep," Yujin confirmed.

Sooyoung coughed before muttering, "Simp," then looked around like nothing happened.

Even Yeji was nodding in agreement and I knew, at this point, arguing was useless.

"So, about that party..." I smiled sheepishly.

"Ayyyy," a couple of them yelled and Sooyoung ran over to put her arm around my shoulders and drag me out of the room. Before I could regret my decision, we were all packing into a van on our way to our company building.

~

When we got to HappyFace, the members of Dreamcatcher had prepared more for their little impromptu party than we had initially anticipated. I honestly thought we'd just be sitting, talking, and maybe eating, but Sua had apparently insisted on making the practice room into a dance floor/party room. We could hear the music blaring the second we stepped out of the van. We all ended up laughing, expecting no less from a group just as chaotic as ours.

Soon after we went inside, the girls split up, going to eat or dance. I ended up staying in the main room, eating snacks and making small talk with Handong. I hadn't seen Yoohyeon yet and I wondered if she even came or decided to stay back in the dorm. I figured, since she invited us, she would at least make an appearance at some point.

My wandering eyes must've given me away, because Dongie suddenly said, "She's in one of the vocal practice rooms."

I played innocent, "What?"

"Yoohyeon," the pink-haired woman explained, "I know that's who you're looking for." The knowing grin on her face sent heat rushing to my cheeks.

"That's not what I-"

"She insisted on staying in there," she continued, ignoring my protests, "I think something's making her nervous," she drew out with a smirk, causing my face to darken a shade. "Maybe you should go talk to her."

"Uh..." I stared dumbly.

"It's okay, I know you want to," Handong smiled what seemed like an actual genuine, comforting smile before shooing me away, "now go."

I sighed, getting up and walking towards the practice rooms reluctantly. I didn't want to admit that Handong was right, but I did want to talk to Yoohyeon. Although, the thought of being in a room with her alone made me nervous. Even just making eye contact was enough to make me completely forget any language known to man, so this encounter was sure to end with me making a fool out of myself.

As I neared the rooms, I heard quiet humming leaving one of them and figured it must be her since the other members were elsewhere and no one would be using these right now. The humming stopped abruptly when I knocked quietly on the door.

"Come in," that voice I had grown addicted to said gently.

I opened the door slowly, seeing that her back was turned to me and her hand was holding a pencil as she wrote in her notebook. The scene reminded me of earlier today and I wondered if she would overwork herself when she got anxious like I did. She was wearing a loose, multicolored flannel, tight, black adidas pants, and her usual converse shoes. Her brown hair was freshly cut into a bob style and time seemed to stop for a second when she looked back at me. I hadn't seen her in person since she changed her hair and suddenly I understood why everyone was talking about it. She was breathtaking.

"Hi?" She smiled shyly, probably not expecting me. I stood there staring at her, still struck by her beauty... so long that she ended up giggling.

"Sorry," I shook my head, looking at the ground and internally cursing myself for the blush I knew was on my cheeks. "I didn't mean to interrupt. I can leave if you-"

"No!" She shouted, making my eyes widen and dart back to her. "I mean, no, it's okay." She looked away, but I noticed her jaw clench. "I was just finishing up anyways."

I nodded with a smile, endeared that she didn't seem to want me to leave. Though, I realized, she couldn't see it, so I replied, "okay."

A few seconds of awkward silence passed between us. We used to be able talk hours on end without ever running out of things to say. But, lately, there was a strange tension between us and it made me wonder what changed. I mean, I know what changed for me... I developed feelings for her. But what changed for her? Or was I just the one making it awkward?

"Did you happen to watch that scary movie I told you about?" I asked randomly, resisting the urge to facepalm for picking that, out of everything, as the topic of conversation.

Yoohyeon laughed, turning her head to meet my eyes again, showing off her smile that always gave me butterflies. "Yeah, I did, actually."

I returned the smile, touched that she cared enough to follow through with my recommendations. "And?"

"It was good," she shrugged, "I liked it."

"I-is that it?"

"Well, you were kinda hyping it up a lot so maybe I was expecting more from it?" Yoohyeon drug the words out like she was asking a question, probably too afraid to outright say she didn't like it because she didn't want to ruin it for me.

"Yah. It was so good though," I argued.

"Was it really good or do you just have a crush on the hot Japanese lesbian character in it?" She blurted out, making my jaw drop. How was I supposed to respond to that? "Mhm, that's what I thought. You totally have a thing for Japanese girls."

"No, I really don't," I defended, but she wasn't even listening.

"What's with that by the way?" She kept going, "It's like you don't even like Korean girls."

I couldn't help but laugh. Ironic that she was the one saying that. "You have no idea." I muttered.

"Oh really?" She perked up. Why did I say that out loud? "So you do like Korean girls?" She asked and then all-too-eagerly gestured for me to come sit next to her. Why was she so interested in this?

I sighed, wiping my sweaty hands on my pants before walking over. "Yeah." I sat down. Yoohyeon stared at me for a second like she was checking to make sure I wasn't lying. The way her eyes were carefully scrutinizing my face started getting to me. I couldn't take when she looked at me like that. "What?" I said shyly, pushing her shoulder so that she'd stop staring.

"What?" She repeated with a laugh. "I can't look at you?" A teasing smile made its way onto her lips. This wasn't a new occurrence. Although, it was normally me intentionally making her panic. Now it was more often the other way around. The more times I noticed I couldn't keep eye contact with her the more I started to realized I liked her more than just a friend.

"You know that's not it," I blushed, still looking away.

"Then what?" Yoohyeon giggled, shoving my shoulder back.

"It's just-"

"It's just what?" She leaned forward, wanting me to look at her.

I smiled in my embarrassment. "Nothing. It's stupid anyways." I glanced at her a second to see her watching my expressions closely.

"Well now you have to tell me." She grinned, using the phrase we always used to when one of us wouldn't tell the other something.

I turned my head to her. "It's just..." She was perched on the edge of her seat, so eager for what I had to say. And God, I wanted so badly to tell her. Maybe she was hoping I'd admit my feelings. But how could I know? Maybe I could just go the safe route and compliment her. After what we were talking about earlier, maybe she'd get the hint. "You look..." pretty? No, she hates being called pretty. Beautiful? Is that even any different? I can't just say 'good' and 'handsome' seems a little weird right now. Maybe 'attractive'... no that sounds douchey-

"What, I look ugly?"

"No! No, of course not," I rushed out and we both ended up laughing.

"You look beautiful," I said, causing her to stop laughing and look at me.

When she realized I was being serious, she was the one to break eye contact. "Really?" She chuckled, her voice shaky. "I just got out of practice though," she brushed it off. "I think you're lying." She joked. I noticed she tended to do that any time we got serious like this.

"Really? I would've never guessed," I replied honestly. She seriously was completely and utterly clueless about how beautiful she was.

She met my eyes again, timid. "You're just saying that-"

"No, I mean, you look good in anything. Even your practice clothes." Her cheeks turned red and she laughed nervously while punching my shoulder.

"Shut up."

"Yah, I'm being serious." I laughed, pushing her hands away from me. "And I get why everyone likes your new hairstyle." She finally stopped attacking me and looked back at me. We just stared at each other for a moment and, as much as I hoped she realized I was being genuine, the sudden silence made me nervous again. "Really though. You look like a badass Black Widow or something," I finally broke the silence.

"Ooookay." She laughed and stood up. "Marvel nerd." She shoved me for the eightieth time tonight. "That's my cue to leave."

"Noooo," I cried dramatically, "don't leave me, unnie."

"Unnie?" She exclaimed with a laugh. "When have you ever called me that?" Before I could respond, she was walking out the door and turning off the light with me still inside. "That person's weird," she yelled back and I just imagined her pointing her finger back at the door.

Well, guess it's safe to say the compliment route didn't work...

~

About an hour passed and I hadn't talked to Yoohyeon any more. Some of my younger members had headed back to the dorm to rest and a couple others I had lost track of. Most of the older members started drinking and, with the majority of them being lightweights, let's just say... they were intoxicated. And Dreamcatcher + alcohol did not equal a pleasant mix.

I would find this out sooner rather than later when Sua came out of nowhere and started dragging me down the hall. I didn't have time to ask where she was taking me before she was pushing me through a doorway. The room it led to was dark with nothing but moving colored lights illuminating the surroundings and music blaring, similar to the practice room.

"Alright, we can start now," Sua shouted after closing the door behind me and running to the center of the room where a table was set up. Crowded around the table, I noticed Minji, Siyeon, Yoohyeon, Dami, Sooyoung, and Heejin, along with Sua.

Sooyoung saw me and made her way over, pulling me further in the room. "There you are. We've been waiting for you." Her words came out slow and a little slurred.

"What's going on?" I asked. "And are you drunk?" Just as I tried to scold her for setting a bad example as our leader, Sua's loud voice cut in.

"Alriiiight, ladies," she clapped her hands together once, "first up is... drumroll please..." The girls around me started making drumroll noises with their mouths or tapped on the table with their fingers. It was pretty dark, so it was hard to make out their faces, but they all seemed to be smiling like they were doing something they shouldn't be. Sua tapped on the device in her hand and then smirked. "Yoohyeon!" she said, making the room erupt into cheers.

I looked over just as the tall member put her hands over her face in embarrassment. Clearly she was dreading being picked and I wondered what could be so bad that she didn't want to do. Sua nudged the brunette forward a little towards the table. "The party Gods have chosen you," a slap sounded, making Yoohyeon flinch. From my time around this group, I had a good feeling it came from the dancer spanking Yoohyeon's butt, "start stripping." I nearly choked on my own spit. Stripping??

Smacking Sooyoung next to me, I gave her a look that showed her how insane I thought this all was. "What did you drag me into?" I whisper-yelled, glad the music was loud enough and the room was dark enough to mask my panic.

"Just watch." She replied, much too calm for my liking.

Calm is the furthest thing away from what I was right now, and it only seemed to drift further and further out of reach as I watched Yoohyeon's shaky hands slowly start unbuttoning her flannel. One by one, from the bottom up, the buttons were let loose by her slim fingers, exposing a few more inches of her tan skin every time. Even with it being dark, the occasional flashing party lights danced across her torso, highlighting how taut the muscles were underneath her smooth skin. She wore only a tight, grey Calvin Klein bra underneath, making all the blood rush to my head.

Ignoring the hollering from her members and mine, she tugged on the sleeves and finally pulled the shirt all the way off. Dami grabbed it from her hands, but I barely even paid attention. I was too focused on her. My heart pounded in my chest as my eyes took in every inch of her skin: her strong neck, exposed collarbones, defined biceps, long torso, tiny waist. I nearly had to stop myself from stepping forward and tracing my fingers over the lines between her abs, it was so tempting. What I would give to just touch-

"You're staring," a low voice whispered to my side. I turned suddenly, growing embarrassed when I realized it was Siyeon who had caught me.

"And blushing," Sooyoung added, to which I responded with another slap on her shoulder.

"Am not," I defended, making Siyeon laugh.

"Wait 'til you see what comes next," the blue-haired vocalist teased, directing my eyes back to the shirtless girl.

My mouth went dry when she climbed onto the table and laid on her back as Sua stood over her. This couldn't possibly be leading anywhere good. Minji came from the other side of the room with a bottle of tequila and a few other items in her hands that I couldn't quite make out. Yep, this definitely wasn’t good.

"While Minji's getting everything ready, let's see who tonight's lucky participant is." Sua tapped on her device once more as the crowd started yelling again.

Yoohyeon looked anxiously around the room and I subconsciously scooted over so that Sooyoung was blocking her view of me. Meanwhile, Dami was helping pour a shot while Minji handed Yoohyeon a lime and started shaking something into her hand over the younger member's torso. When she was satisfied, she turned her hand over onto Yoohyeon's stomach and started spreading the white grains into a line down the middle, from the top of her bellybutton to the white band on her bra. Salt? Or sugar? Everyone else seemed to know what was happening, but I was growing more confused by the second.

"And, the lucky winner is..." the drumming noises picked up again and Sua seemed to drag it out longer this time. Her eyes glanced up from her phone to meet mine and a devilish grin took over her lips. Oh no. "Congratulations Y/NN," she mocked victoriously and somehow I knew from that look on her face that this wouldn't end well for me.

I froze, sure I was hearing things. I didn't even notice how Yoohyeon's cheeks had turned pink or that Sooyoung had walked behind me until I was being shoved towards the table. The girls in the room cheered, but I was hardly focused on them. Sua grabbed my arm, pulling me to the edge of the table and handed me something.

"What do I-"

"Drink this," she instructed, gesturing to the shot glass now in my left hand, "then all you have to do is finish it off with some salt and lime. It's that easy." Her calm voice nearly convinced me, but the hint of mischief in her eyes made me rethink. The laughter coming from the short silver-haired rapper confirmed my suspicions.

There's no way that's all I had to do.

Then, my eyes caught sight of the white line trailing down the center of Yoohyeon's abs. Salt. Her hand hesitantly reached up to her mouth to bite down on the fruit Minji had given her. Lime.

Well, fuck.

I looked over at Sua in utter disbelief. All she did was wink and say, "Go get her, tiger." She smacked me on the butt, sending me forward and forcing me to catch myself on either sides of the table next to Yoohyeon's ankles. I was positioned right between her legs, giving me a sickeningly attractive view of her body. Suddenly my head started spinning and my gut twisted. Now I was sure I'd pass out.

I didn't have time for that though when the whole room started chanting, "One-shot! One-shot! One-shot!" Sua had turned her phone flashlight on as an impromptu spotlight, so that everyone could see what was happening. Looking down at the liquor in my hand, I tried to convince myself that it wouldn't be that bad. The alcohol would help, right? Isn't that why they called it liquid courage?

I felt a bead of sweat drip down the back of my neck as I looked back at Yoohyeon. She didn't dare look up at me and it made my fingers numb. What was she thinking? Did she want this? Would it make her uncomfortable? It definitely felt like it was crossing a line. What if it made things weird between us? But, then again, things between us are already weird...

Screw it.

The girls cheered even louder when I put the shot glass to my lips and tilted my head back, downing the entire thing. Not even a second later I started feeling the effects of the liquor. It was like lightning traveling through my veins, electrifying my senses and making my mind go numb. I wasn't at all prepared for the adrenaline rush it would give me and suddenly doing this didn't seem like a bad idea at all. I wanted it, after all.

Jumping up to plant my knees on the table, I nearly toppled over onto the girl now below me before I caught myself. The alcohol certainly wasn't helping with coordination, but it did make me feel a million times more intensely as I looked down at Yoohyeon. The image of her from this angle was so overwhelming that chills ran across my skin. When she finally met my eyes, her own looked nervous and unsure. In that split second, I raised my eyebrow at her in a silent request for consent that I hoped she would understand. When she raised her own back and looked down at her stomach, I swallowed thickly. She was challenging me.

My hand instinctively brushed my hair back as I lowered myself over her body, causing the overdramatic idols surrounding us let out a few pterodactyl screeches. I grabbed her hips over her black athletic pants, noticing how her hands gripped the side of the table in anticipation, and looked down at the trail of salt starting just above her bellybutton, watching as her stomach moved up and down with her lungs. Her heart must've been beating as fast as mine, she was breathing so heavily. The taste of alcohol still stung the back of my throat, begging me to replace it with something different.

Here goes nothing.

I took a massive breath in before placing the tip of my tongue on her skin. I was glad I had chosen to hold her for support because she instinctively bucked her hips at the contact. This reaction went straight to my head and I flattened my tongue on the way up her smooth stomach in the hopes that she'd do it again. The salty taste quickly became too much, but I kept going, not ready to chicken out just yet. And I was thankful I didn't when she inhaled sharply and arched her back off the table, forcing my nose to brush against her skin. My hands had moved higher on her waist to push her back against the table, allowing me to feel the goosebumps I had left in my wake. Once I finally managed to make it all the way to her bra, her muscles tighten underneath me because of what she knew was coming next and I could've swore I heard her whine when I pulled back.

Raising my head to get a look at her, I had to clench my teeth to stop an ungodly sound from leaving my mouth. Her neck was strained as she tilted her head back with her eyes closed and her teeth clenched around the lime slice between her lips for likely the same reason I was forcing mine closed. Or maybe that was wishful thinking and her body language was really alluding to her discomfort. The thought made me embarrassed for being so aroused by what had just happened. How could I be sure that she was enjoying this too?

By now, I had completely blocked out the people around us, only able to hear the blood pounding in my ears. Just being this close to her and feeling her chest rise and fall against mine made me feel like I was burning alive in the best way possible. So when she finally opened her eyes to let me see that they had now turned a shade darker, that fire burned even hotter. Maybe she was enjoying this. Her chin tilted upwards while she stared intensely into my eyes. It seemed obvious she was offering me the lime between her teeth, but something in her stare felt like she was daring me to do more.

I stayed there for a moment, just looking down at her, frozen. The nerves and doubts started to creep back in as I glanced back and forth between her eyes, almost forcing me off that table. Almost. But then Yoohyeon glanced down at my lips and cocked her eyebrow just like I had done earlier. The simple action felt like she was confirming that she was feeling everything I had been feeling and wanted me to keep going.

So, I slowly leaned down, feeling her eyes on me every second. When I reached the lime, my bottom lip brushed against hers, making her inhale through her nose and bite down harder. One of her hands darted to my jaw as I tilted my head to grab the lime from her with my teeth. She let me take it into my own mouth, watching as I bit down into the fruit, licking her own lips. The sour taste topped off my heightened senses, and now, all I wanted to taste was her.

With her bottom lip now caught between her teeth, she moved her hand to take the lime from my mouth. I allowed her to throw it on the ground and licked the rest of the juice from my own lips. Her eyes followed my tongue and stayed on my lips. After a few seconds that felt like hours, she put her hand on the back of my neck to pull me down and there was no doubt in my mind that she was going to kiss me. She didn't even care that other people were looking, it was only me and her ... except, it wasn't.

"Okay, enough fun lovebirds." Sua's voice rudely interrupted, bringing the rapidly escalating moment to a full stop. "Go get a room or something." She shoved me off of Yoohyeon and I would've fallen off the table had Sooyoung not been there to catch me.

I had been so invested in that moment that it felt like sensory overload when my hearing tuned back in to everything around me. Sooyoung held me up straight and shook my shoulders, trying to bring me back down to planet Earth. "Uhm, what the fuck just happened?!" She nearly yelled, pulling me to the side of the room, away from the table.

I looked over my shoulder to see Yoohyeon glancing back at me while Dami put her shirt back on her. The shiny line on her abdomen made me bite the side of my tongue, remembering the taste of salt and the feeling of her warm, soft skin underneath it. "You tell me," I replied, unable to pull my eyes away from the brunette. She was going to kiss me. The pit of my stomach tingled at the thought.

"Dude," Sooyoung turned me so that I was finally looking at her, "you're fucking crazy." I tried to ignore her, the last thing I needed right now was a lecture. Instead I tried looking for Yoohyeon, who, in the split second I had turned away, had vanished. "I don't think they were actually expecting you to do it," Sooyoung admitted.

"What?" I immediately turned back to her, now angry. "You mean they set this up as a... as a joke?"

"No it's-"

"And you let me do it?" I yelled, ripping my arm out of her hold and glaring at her.

"To be fair, I didn't think you would," Sooyoung tried to reason, but it was too late. Now I was overthinking everything. What if she wasn't really trying to kiss me?

"I gotta go," I said and walked to the door, not waiting for a reply.

"Wait, Y/N!" Sooyoung yelled after me, but I was already gone.

~

Feeling overwhelmed by embarrassment, I rushed through the company halls, hoping to escape this place before anyone could stop me. I was so sure of the fact that I had made Yoohyeon uncomfortable that I felt ashamed and disgusted with myself. She was my friend, why would I think that was a good idea? I should've known doing something that foolish would have repercussions. I was just so wrapped up in the idea that she might've actually liked me as much as I liked her. When, in reality, that was probably farthest from the truth.

Now I was sure things between us could never be the same again. How could I ever face her knowing how I made her feel? Maybe it would be best if I tried to avoid her all together. It might be tricky being forced to use the same tiny company building, but maybe I could manage it. I had to.

Ironically, as I paced down the hallway in my trek to the exit, the door to a vocal practice room opened to reveal the very girl I was desperately trying to evade. When she noticed it was me, her gaze was so intense that I felt the need to start spewing apologies as I tried to leave.

"I'm really sorry and I know you probably hate me now, so I'll just go before I make things wo-" She stepped forward and grabbed my arm, yanking me into the practice room with her. I could only assume she was angry when she slammed the door and turned to forcefully shove me back against the wall.

"Yooh-" I tried to apologize again, but suddenly her lips were pressing roughly into mine, catching me completely off guard. There was no time to react when she reached up to hold onto my neck tightly, whether for support or to stop me from pushing her off, I wasn't sure. All air left my lungs at the sensation and the desperation in her kisses convinced me it was the latter. She wanted this. Badly. And she wasn't going to let me be the one to stop her. Not that I wanted to anyways, even with how utterly confused this was making me.

The way her lips relentlessly attacked me, capturing my bottom lip, only to release it, push further into me, tilt her head a little in the other direction, and trade it for my top lip—like she was starved for a taste of me and couldn't get as much as she wanted quick enough—made my brain foggy. The veil of lust overtaking my mind only got worse when I started running out of air and it seemed apparent that Yoohyeon wasn't planning on letting me go anytime soon. I had no idea my earlier actions had managed to stoke the long-burning flame she had inside of her for me and now it engulfed her into a fire too hot to be put out.

As much as I would've gladly continued providing fuel—because the feeling of its irresistible flames now catching fire inside my own chest and spreading throughout my body was torturously addicting—my lungs burned painfully, begging for the oxygen she had stolen from them, and my tongue stung with the bitter taste of alcohol coming from her own lips. These bold actions struck me as uncharacteristic for the usually polite and occasionally shy woman and I started to realize she was likely acting under the influence, her intuition clouded by intoxication. This thought gave me the final ounce of willpower I needed to raise my own hands to her cheeks and push my thumbs against her chin to separate our lips.

"What are you doing?" I asked with a huff as my lungs made a violent effort to refill themselves, hindered by the strain my beating heart had on the amount of air they allowed in.

My eyes were blown wide while hers slowly fluttered open, hooded with lust once they met mine. Our lips were still just centimeters apart and somehow looking at her now had me more panicked than when she was practically on top of me, making out with me. Seeing her features up close and knowing that it really was her who initiated this (and I wasn't in some sort of lucid dream) was almost too much to handle.

"I've wanted to do that for so long," Yoohyeon whispered, biting her bottom lip as if to savor the taste I left on it and leaning impossibly further into me so that our noses were touching as she stared into my eyes. It was definitely too much to handle.

Even with just one sentence, I started doubting everything. She's wanted to do this for a long time. Meaning she's thought about it multiple times in the past, but never acted on it. Meaning she might actually like me more than a friend. Except the faint smell of alcohol on her breath still itched at the back of my mind, unwilling to be ignored. People do plenty of things they'd never do sober once intoxicated. It clouds your judgement, blurring the line between what's right and wrong. So, what if it was just the alcohol talking? What if she didn't really mean it? If anything, she was probably just drunk and horny and I happened to be in the right place at the right time, making her feel feelings that weren't actually there before she started drinking.

Yoohyeon seemed to grow impatient as I stood there, frozen in my internal battle, unsure of how to proceed. She didn't need my go-ahead anyways, she was going to decide for the both of us. And that decision manifested itself in her fingers trailing up the length of my neck, weaving themselves into my hair at the base of my skull, and her tongue taking advantage of my parted lips from the gasp her actions had elicited, swiping across my own without warning.

Feeling helpless and mildly pitiful from how much of a mess she had managed to make me within the span of a few seconds, all I could do was blindly reach down to clutch her slim waist for support. Though she seemed to take it to mean something completely different when she hummed and pressed herself against my right thigh. With her legs on either side of mine, I nearly lost balance, forcing me to pull her waist further into me. My thigh consequently put pressure against the spot between her legs, causing her to let out a high-pitched noise into my mouth.

Oh my god.

Was she really this turned on? Had I made her this turned on? No, I couldn't handle the thought. It was too much. Even if everything she said was true and she felt all these things for me, it was wrong to let her go on in this state.

"Wait," I mumbled when she pulled back for a second, but she ignored me, kissing my bottom lip with such force that she might as well have been biting it. At that thought, images of the lime clenched between her teeth from before flashed through my mind and I caught myself wondering what my lip might've felt like there instead.

Her steady rhythm of swiping her tongue into my mouth and finishing by closing her mouth and capturing my lips before pulling away to do the same again was slowly driving me crazy and had my brain picturing scenarios between us much worse than her simply biting my lip. With the way her hands started dragging down over my collarbones on a clear mission to get a feel for what was hiding under my clothes, I knew she was likely imagining the same. I needed to stop her before this got too far out of control.

I took advantage of the fact that her fingers were no longer holding onto anything to use my own to push her shoulders back. Luckily she didn't immediately crash back into me this time since she had finally run out of air completely. We both inhaled and exhaled heavily and her nose found it's way to bump against mine like she still couldn't stand not touching me. I allowed her a second to open her eyes and when I saw them dart back to my mouth, I rushed to put my thumb over her lips. Her gaze flitted back up to my own and, despite my attempt to calm her down, she seemed to like it a little too much.

I moved my thumb down so it was resting on her chin instead and whispered, "we shouldn't be doing this."

Yoohyeon grabbed my hand that was holding her face, wrapping her thumb around my own. "Why not?" She whispered back, raising her eyebrow and sending me a look that I knew was dangerous.

"You're drunk," I answered, my voice a little louder this time. It became clear to me that nearly everything I had been doing and saying she took as me trying to turn her on. But this wasn't some game I was playing. Not anymore.

"I'm not drunk," she stood up straight and, as if on cue, wobbled backwards as she lost her balance. I was able to pull her in by her waist before she could topple over. "Okay, maybe a little," she giggled, making herself comfortable again with her arms wrapping securely around my neck.

I glared back at her as a warning, but the smile brought on by her laughter remained on her face, showing off her dimples. My attempts to make logical decisions continued to dwindle and fail. The more I tried to think everything through, the realer it became. And the realer it became, the more I realized that this might be the only time I'd ever get what I truly wanted. Her. That thought alone was enough to make me give up any attempts of stopping her. Of course, it didn't help that she was also playing the part incredibly well.

In that moment of internal debate, while I was busy convincing myself to stop her, she was busy getting lost in my eyes. "I like you," she admitted so quietly that I almost didn't hear it, making my heart stop all together.

Damn you, Kim Yoohyeon, for being so convincing. For these feelings spilling out of me like a hopeless romantic who can't help but hang onto your every word, even in your drunken state. For stealing my heart and holding it right out in front of me, reminding me who’s really in control of it. And for doing it all so easily, acting like you're totally oblivious to the hold you have on me.

But, then again, maybe you were, and that was the problem.

"You don't really mean that," I stated, practically begging that she'd just agree and drop it right there so I could stop holding onto hope. I was so tired of questioning every single thing she did and said. Couldn't she just bury it for good?

But, no. "I do," she insisted. Like her kisses before, she seemed desperate to prove it to me. It had me wondering for a moment if she was as dependent on me to validate her feelings as I was on her. But I quickly shook the ridiculous thought away.

"No," I sighed, "Yoohyeon-"

"What's that saying?..." she trailed off, ignoring me again, "drunken thoughts are sober words." Her eyebrows furrowed, "wait no. Sober thoughts-"

"The fact that you can't even form a coherent sentence right now is really not helping your case." I tried to sound serious, but I couldn't stop the hint of a smile gracing my lips. One more thing to add to that list: damn you for being such a cute drunk.

The brunette pouted, and her brown eyes shined in the hallway light peeking through the door, making her resemble a puppy dog. Case in point.

"I want to believe you," I told her, no need whatsoever to fake the honesty in my voice, "but you're obviously not in your right mind." I couldn't be sure she was really listening intently like she appeared to be, but I was just glad she had given up on her attempt to quiet me with more kisses (well, not entirely glad, but, you know). "I don't want to feel like I'm taking advantage of you."

When I was finished, Yoohyeon whined and buried her nose in my neck. "I hate that you're such a good person sometimes." I squeezed her sides, pulling her closer so that her chest was flush against mine. I could feel her heartbeat, just as unstable as mine from earlier.

It was still proving incredibly difficult not to let go of reason completely and allow her to continue doing whatever she wanted to me when she was being like this. So many times in the past we had only joked about anything to do with relationships, always tiptoeing around the dangerous waters of our feelings for each other, but, this was the first rare moment where she was finally bold enough to dive headfirst into them. And, with her next words, she pulled off her last final trick to drag me down under the surface with her.

"Cause all I can think about is you on top of me on that table and the way your tongue felt against my skin," she whispered in my ear as her lips teasingly brushed across the sensitive skin just beneath my jawline.

Oh my god, I thought, except this time it left my mouth and had Yoohyeon giggling before her lips began claiming their territory on my neck. Though, it was less a cute giggle and more an evil one, like she enjoyed saying such explicit things because of the reactions she could get out of me. So much for being a cute drunk.

The sensation of her plump, velvety lips sucking down on my skin was slowly overriding all the thoughts in my mind. "I really need to take you home," I said, more to remind myself than to tell her. She hummed and I felt her smile against my neck. "Not like that," I tried to explain, but it was obvious she wasn't really listening. "Hey," pulling her away from me, I tilted her chin up so that we stood face to face once again. She gulped, looking up at me like she was completely innocent. "You're probably not even gonna remember this," I said under my breath and shook my head.

Still, I took a deep breath and looked back at her. "I like you, too, okay? And, God," I leaned into her, resisting the urge to feel her intoxicating lips against mine just one last time, "I want this more than you could possibly know." The obvious desperation in my tone made Yoohyeon smile proudly. "But I don't want this to just be a drunken mistake that you regret in the morning." Her lips turned down into a frown at that.

Really, knowing her regretting this was a distinct possibility hurt. A lot. And now I was thinking maybe it would be better off if she did forget this whole thing ever happened. "So you're gonna let me take you home, and if you still feel the same way in the morning, then maybe we can talk." For once, I could finally tell the sentimental look in her eyes was genuine and not another one of her deceiving tricks. "Deal?"

Yoohyeon pressed her lips together. "Deal.”

**This imagine was transferred over from my Wattpad account @ OT5Stan4Life**

[snail-pot]

I've been passing the time reading lots of romance manhwas and mangas recently and I just have some recs for anyone interested!:

(A few small notes:

I'm not recommending any erotica/explicit mangas/manhwas mainly bc I don't really want to. Some of my recs will have scenes but it's definitely not the main focus. They're just not my cup of tea.

This includes multiple genres under the romance tag such as: historical, comedy, action, fantasy, and BL)

ANYWAY, HERE YOU GO:

"The Savior's Book Cafe Story in Another World" by Kyōka Izumi and Oumiya [MANGA, FANTASY, ISEKAI, ADULT ROMANCE, COMPLETE]

ASHDJI When I first began to read this, I was expecting a crap ML because I'm pretty used to the ML treating the FL like trash. But, nope! The FL, Tsukina Mizumori, is actually a competent adult! She gets transported into a new world as it's "savior" (sort of like how some stories will transport their MCs as saintess'), but she isn't interested in saving the world. Instead, she opens her very own book café! I won't say anything else bc it might spoil the story, but it's very fluffy and sweet! (WARNING: There is a second ML, but I doubt you'll get second lead syndrome and it doesn't interfere with the main couple! We love responsible, capable adults!)

"Ooh La La" by Jemin [MANHWA, COMEDY, FLUFF, SLICE-OF-LIFE, COMPLETE]

I just happened to stumble upon "Ooh La La" online and I ended up really enjoying it! It goes through the ups and downs of a Gom-Yung and Min-Han's relationship, but with barely any angst. One of the most non-toxic couples I've read about! It's very slice-of-life-ish and a fun read!

"Beta Off Not Dating" by Doojja, MINTRAN, Saena [MANHWA, ROMANCE, BL, OMEGAVERSE, ADULT ROMANCE, COMPLETE] [WARNING: MENTIONS OF SEXUAL ASSAULT AND ABUSE IN THIS PASSAGE]

I typically don't really like reading about the omegaverse because of non-consensual topics that are overlooked and dressed as "romantic" and "sexy" (and really, in the BL genre, this is quite common, unfortunately). But I believe that "Beta Off Not Dating" does a good job on addressing it! For the first time I've seen, the ML is a beta who isn't interested in dating after seeing the alpha/omega relationships around him go absolutely nuts. It's sort of like a parody of typical omegaverse manhwas and it doesn't dress heavy topics such as relationship abuse and sexual assault romantically. Instead, the ML recognizes them and addresses them accordingly (Note: the abuse/assault does NOT happen between the main couple. On another note: the side couple is toxic as hell and I would not recommend reading the sequel if you don't want to see them).

There is some explicit sex, but it also happens in the sequel :D (Is this really just me not recommending the sequel?? Ehhh yess?? Take this with a grain of salt bc it really just wasn't my cup of tea.)

"The Fragrant Flower Blooms with Dignity" OR, ALTERNATELY, "Kaoru Hana wa Rin to Saku" by Saka Mikami [MANGA, FLUFF, ROMANCE, SLICE-OF-LIFE, SCHOOL LIFE, ONGOING]

...This manga... is hands down one of the best mangas I've ever read. It's just so beautiful I can't even put it into words. The main couple isn't toxic, they genuinely love each other, and I really feel like I can see the awkward high schooler aspect without feeling like "Oh, that's- that's a toxic relationship right there". Not only the main couple, but all the side characters are so damn loveable that I just want to scream into the night about how I wish the best for all of them. It addresses the different issues and insecurities that the characters feel and makes them all feel real and well-rounded. This is probably one of the only mangas I would give a genuine 10/10. I'm SO serious when I say give this a read. I wish I could read this for the first time again. I felt like a changed person after reading it.

"Cherry Magic! Thirty Years of Virginity Can Make You a Wizard?!" by Yuu Toyota [MANGA, BL, OFFICE LIFE, FLUFF, ADULT ROMANCE, ONGOING] [WARNING: BRIEF EXPLICIT MENTIONS]

The title may seem extremely suspicious, but I promise you it's not what it seems. Adachi Kiyoshi, the MC, turns 30 years old and, because he's still a virgin, gains the power to read minds when he touches someone. When he accidently bumps into his handsome co-worker that everyone seems to love, he finds out he's got a crush on him!

I really love this manga because the romance feels genuine and, for a genre that doesn't seem to care about consent, takes the relationship slow and both partners respect and love each other! Consent is key!!

(Is there sex scenes? Yes. Are they brief and not super explicit?? Also yes!)

I highly recommend this for those who want to read a good BL manga but don't want to just read sex. Each character grows as a person (and the side couple is cute, too!)

A 10 out of 10 from me!! (+ there's an anime if any of you are interested!)

If you have any questions or want recs, don't be afraid to ask and I'll do my best to answer! Happy reading!

[imminent-danger-came]

Here comes the complaining about Mei's treatment in the fandom:

Mei gets basically zero fandom attention unless it's about shipping her with Red Son tbh, and even then it's barely ever discussion about her character. I've seen nearly everything she does in S4 be somehow attributed to Red Son, her temper, her impatience, even being concerned about Heaven(?). It's like she's a satellite character, like she doesn't matter until it relates to a man.

The thing about her temper especially gets to me because it's a trait she had since the pilot, and it feels just the teeniest bit like sexism to erase it in favor of making her into a Wholesome Softgirl.

(Also isn't her temper the main reason her dynamic with Red Son works? Like they play off of each other well because of how similar they are?)

Shipping is fun, I get it. I really like a lot of the popular ships, and Red Son is probably my favorite character but sometimes it feels like people don't actually care about Mei's canon character, they just care about giving him someone to blush or angst about.

Not to mention, for a fandom that loves angst I've seen nothing about her canonically tense relationship with her family or her fear of hurting others with the samadhi fire. That and her focus ep's almost never get talked about, except for the one with Ao Lie but even then, the discussion isn't about Mei, it's about Ao Lie.

Sorry if this isn't coherent I just have very strong feelings about this.

Anyways Mei deserves better

We are holding hands anon.

This was SUPER coherent, and I totally agree with all of your points—hope you don't mind if I write a kinda-sorta-meta about it! This is a long rant, and it's full of a ton of things that have been in my head for months.

Mei is rarely discussed as a character, and it's such a shame! Mei, MK, and LBD are my favorites, and I think I need to express my Mei love here more.

I think Mei being sidelined and ignored is far too common in the lmk fandom. I saw one person complain that Red Son should have gotten the Samadhi fire, and that it was "nothing against Mei", and it just kinda left me dumbfounded.

Like, there's nothing that giving Red Son the Samahdi fire would have added to the story that would trump what giving the Samahdi fire to Mei, our main female lead, added to the story:

"MK: “Mei! You have to stop. I know you’re upset, and that’s okay! I know what it’s like to have a power you don’t know how to control—to feel like the fate of the world is in your hands and you have no idea what to do! But you always have my back, and help me through it. We, will figure this out! Together!” (3x10 The Samadhi Fire)

This sentiment of "having no idea what to do", and that being okay, is something that MK is repeating back to Mei all the way from the Revenge of the Spider Queen special. They're truly friends—best friends who are always there for each other—and I don't think MK could have even gotten through to Red Son in this situation. He got through to Mei, because if "you're bonds of friendship are as strong as you say, you will always find your way back to one another", you can always reach one another.

To me, it just feels like they want to "give" this important place in the story to a popular male side character, rather than give it to the female lead they don't care about. And it just feels misogynistic. The particular post I'm thinking of mentioned how amazing it would have been for Red Son as a character to gain back and learn to control the Samadhi fire, completely ignoring what the Samadhi fire did for Mei as a character. This is not something that could be "handed" over to any one else, not without taking away everything thematically and narratively relevant about this part of the story.

As I've mentioned in my dear Hero and Warrior meta, MK and Mei fulfill the "roles" of the Hero and the Warrior to each other. MK's choice to not abandon Mei when she needs him is a CRUCIAL choice, and something that wouldn't have even close to the same amount of impact if it were replaced by anyone else.

There's also the matter of how Mei's trust impacts the story, for better or for worse. When she makes the decision to trust someone in the name of what she thinks is right (like how she trusted Sun Wukong's plan to defeat LBD, or Azure's plan to save their friends), it leads to her being tricked. To pain—which parallels her to both MK and Lady Bone Demon in such a significant way.

However, instead of MK's-

“No matter what I do, it’s going to lead to pain. It’s like the Lady Bone Demon said—it doesn’t matter if I want to help people or not! Everything I do just- it just makes things worse!”

-Mei instead takes on the position of "We have to try." Even if the odds are stacked against them, even if it doesn't work, even if it just makes things worse—she has to try. And that works with how Mei more often than not is the one supporting MK, always having his back. If I see one more person describe MK as the "optimist" of the group when Mei is so clearly the hopepunk girly we deserve, I may lose it.

All the way back in 1x10, MK is doubtful about their victory against Demon Bull King and Mei reassures him: "But we won...right?". Mei, AGAIN, in Revenge of the Spider Queen is the one to comfort MK that "They got this" and that they would "'Figure it out. Together". Mei assures MK in 2x10 that he's mastered so many powers and that Monkey King might not even need to come back, and when MK stares in his lemonade cup sadly, cocks an eyebrow insinuating that she knows something is wrong. In 3x04 when MK is wondering what use he is without his powers and how he's going to fight the Lady Bone Demon, Mei pokes his cheek and tells him that's why they're getting the Samadhi fire.

She has her own doubts, but she stubbornly works through them—anything to protect and support her friends.

Mei is her own character. And it's a good one at that.

(The rest of my thoughts are going under the cut, this is getting a bit long lol)

Now, this brings me to Mei and Red Son's dynamic.

"Also isn't her temper the main reason her dynamic with Red Son works? Like they play off of each other well because of how similar they are"

100% IT IS. Mei and Red Son's dynamic is lovely, and I think Red Son becoming Mei's teacher really expanded on that. Red Son giving Mei "some fire training" was a perfectly fine role for him to have in the Embrace Your Destiny Special, furthering their dynamic from Revenge of the Spider Queen.

Mei: "But...what if I fail everyone? What if I...lose control" Red Son: "My parents have succumbed to the Lady Bone Demon’s power—like countless others. You, and the Noodle Boy, will stop at nothing to free them. That’s how I know you won’t lose control. You can’t. Because you’re the only hope I- The only hope this world has left."

(3x11 This Imperfect World)

Red Son was so anti-hero originally, and yet here...he needs a hero. He needs Mei. Together they have to wrangle the wild emotions and energies around them to save everything. Mei is a feisty and angry character, rushing into things headfirst, and she couldn't do that or be that with the Samadhi fire, lest she destroy all she holds dear.

And, Red Son understands that. That's why he's there in the first place—to make sure Mei doesn't burn herself from the inside out. Red Son doesn't want to fail his parents and Mei doesn't want to fail the world. That's why I find them interesting.

So yeah, I really feel your "it's like she's a satellite character, like she doesn't matter until it relates to a man" sentiment. It's painfully true.

Honestly, I've been spinning around Mei's conversation with Ao Lie in 4x05 in my head for MONTHS, and not because of Ao Lie lol:

Mei: “What’s the point of having power if you won’t use it? Don’t you have people you want to protect?” Ao Lie: “Of course I do! But I can’t protect them with careless actions!” Mei: “Inaction is careless! If you’re not giving everything you have to protect the people you care about, you are nothing!"

Mei: I would watch my sword shatter into pieces a thousands times, so long as I used it to protect the ones I care about. If you're just going to sit here and screw around, then maybe, you don't deserve power." Ao Lie: "And perhaps with greater caution you would still have you're sword. I know a thing or two about disappointing people, about feeling powerless to protect them, but I do not sense you are a disappointment! Even now, locked away in imminent danger you're thoughts are to protect others!"

Mei: "But how am I supposed to protect everyone if I don't have my sword?" Ao Lie: "A sword is powerless without the hand that wields it."

(4x05 Court of the Yellow Robed Demon)

(omg hi hand motif) (Whenever characters (most often MK, followed up by Mei) look at their hands, it's typically as a sign of resolve or the character showing that they feel the weight of the world on their shoulders. I know I keep mentioning hand motif but god I love it so much and it's important to this convo about Mei.)

Here we see Mei all laid out: she doesn't want to be a disappointment and she's motivated by protecting her friends, which all tracks. Her first scene in the whole show is saving MK, and every damn day I think about her smile towards MK before she sacrifices herself to the Lady Bone Demon.

The dialogue "What’s the point of having power if you won’t use it?" is such a lovely paring with her "We have to try" mentality. If you have the power to do something, you should do it. You should try. In this sense Mei is bound by an incredible sense of duty to her friends and to the world.

And GOD, did we need a female character entirely motivated by helping the people she cares about, armed with a kick-ass sword and her temper. She's basically a female shonen protagonist, and I think most people don't realize that about her.

Mei's line “Inaction is careless! If you’re not giving everything you have to protect the people you care about, you are nothing!" in particular is interesting. Like I've said, she's a character whose whole motivation is protecting the people she cares about, and yet she hurt MK and everyone else at the end of s3.

There are certain things in s4 that lead me to believe she feels like "nothing" because of how she handled the Samadhi fire. Like, look at Mei's face when Subodhi mentions it for the first time in s4:

Subodhi: "As someone who once wielded the Samadhi fire, I thought that you would know that the flame that lights a candle is ALSO capable of lighting a forest fire."

(4x09 Roast of the Monkie Kids)

It reminds me of this scene from 3x09:

Macaque: "How do you still not see that he has no idea what he’s doing?"

(3x09 The King, the Prince, and the Shadow)

And, along with this parallel to MK—our poster boy of low self-esteem/belief—I just have to say I'm a little worried about our girl! I'm so excited to see where her character arc goes in the future, especially with how her own self-doubt is going to mesh with her duty to her friends.

I was thinking about it earlier—and as a fun little bonus theory at the end of this meta—I wonder if a Mei VS MK fight is in the cards for us. The line "They will destroy you, harbinger of chaos" doesn't fill me with much confidence, however I also doubt any of the main cast is going to fight MK with the intent of destroying him. So, that got me thinking that maybe they're going to fight MK to save MK, in a sense. I'm a "Mei is going to get a dragon form" truther (thank you Lego set), and Mei unlocking her dragon form while trying to save MK would be ONE hell of a way to debut it.

Anyways, I'm going to cut this off here, but tldr: Mei deserves better.