#because she had done it anyways
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so I just finished reading The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo, i am feeling a lot of emotions
#this book has changed me in many ways#celia and evelyn shared such a strong love but they didnt necessarily fit together#and i felt like they were so bad for each other in so many places#i know people think really badly of cecilia for her reaction to evelyn doing a sex scene with don#but i think we should cut her some slack#like he was her ex husband#it was also the fact that evelyn didnt âaskâ her#but rather informed her#because she had done it anyways#and i feel like that plays such a big part in your trust with someone#i enjoyed the book overall i cant remember the last time i read something in one sitting#i also liked evelyns strong faith in her sexuality#it was refreshing#and i loved her relationship with harry
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reflection
#anyways so i think samus has major survivors guilt and is a super perfectionist. The type of girl who reimagines scenarios in her mind#And thinks about how she could have done better. like âif i had woken up sooner maybe i could have saved everyone in prime 3â#so i think she says she doesnt know anything about herself because shes so hypercritical of her actions she doesnt see herself as a person#while also her hyper critical-ness shows how she says she wants to ignore herself but she literally cant because she has so many criticisms#oh i wanted to include the ppl from the prime 2 manga in that one shot but was like âi dont think ppl will recognize themâ.#also lol the existence of dark samus would fuck her up SOOOO bad like it only exists bc she exists & its responsible for the gangâs deaths#okay im done rambling tldr MENTAL ILLNESS.#metroid#samus aran#loneart#metroid dread#metroid prime#super metroid#metroid series#i dont wanna tag all the games. There just those games is enough#hall of fame#gray voice
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vague-posting about this here cuz i don't feel comfortable yapping about my su takes on twitter, but after everything that's happened the most interesting thing about the su fandom to me is that so many are 100% there for applying the "everyone can change and deserves a second chance" message to everyone, even the diamonds. except for one âď¸ she doesn't count. cuz she's dead.
#personal#very extremely delete later#ok cutting the vague post this is about a âwhose the worst cartoon momâ twt post with pink diamond in the running#and a bunch of people pointing at her. the woman who died in childbirth and never got to meet her child. and she's literally next to#mother gothel. the baby kidnapper who kidnapped a baby#i'm always gonna be a pink diamond nuancepilled defender. she was a shitty entitled teen who grew up with a silver spoon in her mouth#then got self-radicalized and rebelled for both selfish AND selfless reasons#âthis show is great because everyone makes mistakes and learns from them. except the pink one. she's bad and dead forever.â#anyways this is a crit towards the fandom not the show#âshe had steven so she could selfishly escape her mistakes and put all her burdens on her childâ or she wanted a child#âshe abandoned her familyâ or she died during childbirth#âshe started a war that got thousands of gems killed and mutilatedâ and if she hadn't nobody on earth would exist#the fact that some fans are more willing to jump to white diamondâs defense when talking about her reformation and redemption#white diamondâthe architect and supreme ruler of a 10000+ year old fascist empireâhas 10000% done worse more unforgivable things than pink#guys even blue diamond has shattered gems before. like not just kill them but permanently split their souls into pieces.#ruby called her a âSHATTERER.â she was INFAMOUS for murdering people. pink never shattered anyone#for fans of a show that explicitly says nobody's truly a villain you guys sure do want a villain really badly#anyways âwe need more compelx female characters y'all couldn't even handle rose quartzâ etc. etc. etc.
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Sorry not sorry, anytime I see someone say Peeta's childhood crush as obessive/creepy, I can tell they're reaching so hard or projecting. Because Peeta's crush on Katniss is literally so normal. He never acts on it until they're placed in a life or death situation and he only weaponizes it as a tool to keep HER alive. Peeta's affection for Katniss, is and has always been unconditional and innocent. It's so ick when people twist it into something it's not to perpetuate their narrative.
When he realizes that Katniss doesn't reciprocate his affections and may feel burdened by his affections, he put so much distance between him and Katniss that she admits to missing him and HE gets criticized by most of the fandom for freezing her out.
He has always been respectful to Katnissâs autonomy and respects her boundaries. Is he overly self-sacrificing and have little self worth? Yes, but in comparison to red flags in a partner, this is barely one at all. Heâs not abusive at his own volition. Doesnât guilt her for not liking him back or continuing their loverâs facade to keep their families safe. His flaw is workable and itâs never something that can harm Katniss physically or mentally (at least for the most part). And this is not to mention that Katniss shares these flaws as well.
At the same time, these examples of his self-sacrificing nature are placed within contexts where once again, Katniss and Peeta are planning to die for each other again. Where Peeta is doing the ruthless calculus of war and knowing in the grand scheme of things, his death will have less repercussions than Katnissâ. He doesnât have people relying on him to live. Heâs not the one the rebellion is using as a symbol.
âOh, but he used to watch her go home everyday-â no. Thatâs what the movie said in that abysmal cave scene. Even if that were the case, itâs not like heâs stalking her- they go to the same school?? Some people act and cling to this instance as if heâs following her home and stealing her panties. All heâs ever done is watch her (and saved her life) and guess what??? Katniss was watching him too? Sheâs been taking sneak peeks at him too (oh, he can lift heavy bags of flour so easy, he came in second in the wrestling tournament. 𤨠Giirrrrrl) so I guess their both creepy and obsessive for each other. Match made in heaven đ¤ˇââď¸
#Iâve been seeing this sentiment for the past few days on Reddit and tumblr and itâs like đ¤¨#itâs not been a ship thing I swear#I just hate it because Peetaâs affection for Katniss is such a comfort and a crutch to her narratively#and their relationship is literally the heart of the series#cause his affection and love is a privilege that Katniss canât afford#but she SHOULD be allowed to want and have it despite Panem saying no#and when she does loose it#it breaks something in her that even she didnât realize she had until it was too late#I wish people wouldnât put down/dismiss love because itâs love#when itâs done right#itâs a beautiful and healing thing#itâs worth fighting for#itâs worth living for#anyway Iâm tempting to start blocking people đ#everlark#katniss everdeen#peeta mellark#the hunger games
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ok but the real tragedy of assassin's creed will always be the spiralling domino effect that underlies the series and that every protagonist is fundamentally just a pawn in a bigger game they'll never see and that they'll never be able to change because they are just a single piece of a puzzle which also means that every single tragedy that had happened to them doesn't matter to the predetermind bigger picture because it always had to happen the trauma was just collateral you can't escape it. altair watched his family die just so he could pass on a key. ezio's watched his family die so he could deliver one message that wasn't even meant for him. kassandra watched centuries rise and pass and empires crumble because she was only needed to pass on the staff to someone else.
#assassin's creed#i get back into assassin's creed#i start having a existential crisis#nothing messed me up more than the entirety of assassin's creed 2 happening because the alien gid people had one short message for desmond#and then they were done with ezio the universe was done with him he wasn't needed anymore he just decided to stick around anyway#or eivor going to that cave in America but refusing to go any further because she KNOWS deep down its just for somebody else
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I wonder where the Trailblazer could be đ¤
Edit: Next
#my art#tw blood#kafhime#honkai star rail#hsr#kafka#himeko#dont mind the style slowly devolving into simplicity as it goes on#definately because of the tone shift to a little more lighthearted#and not done out of laziness#for sure#anyways i just think itâs so funny when kafka flirts and himeko just looks annoyed#himeko won because she had that Mom Rage#she thought kafka had kidnapped stelle
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me when I see the hundredth post or comment from team green stans about how much of an evil bitch Rhaenyra is in the show đĽą
#I wish she was actually as evil in the show as these people seem to believe she is#They'll say she's evil but then also complain that the show refuses to portray her negatively#Rhaenyra is a better woman than me fr because after Luke's death I would have had every dragonrider go burn down King's Landing with me lol#Team green stans acting like most of us aren't over here longing for her to behave more like her book version anyways#Give me bitchy spoiled quick to anger Rhaenyra who never forgot a slight against her and I'll condone everything she does#house of the dragon#house targaryen#rhaenyra targaryen#queen rhaenyra#house of the dragon season 2#pro rhaenyra targaryen#hotd#anti team green#pro team black#hotd spoilers#hotd s2#Has this meme been done before in this context?#Anti team green stans#team black
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for how much i love to drag pngs around, it turns out that i actually don't know how to animate all too well
#granted i dont actually know how clips animation program works#im just drawing every frame seperately and smashing them together manually#anyway the image of cyn up against the microwave to look at a single potato chip entered my mind at three in the morning and i just had to#i also love switching shading styles on the fly#and also i hate backgrounds. incase you couldn't tell.#i seem to have an affection for drawing cyn scrunched up against the camera/window like that cause this is the second time i've done it#ignore the fact that solver and cyn are seperate here its not a headcanon im just dumb#anyway how tall do you think she actually is#art#murder drones#murder drones cyn#murder drones absolute solver#absolute solver#yes its khan pringles#expect more cyn and solver because im. they're a little silly#just noticed i mispelt drag sad face
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Strictly professional showering (Patreon)
#Doodles#UT#Handplates#Alphys#Gaster#''Do Monsters even have showers-'' shhhhhh. Let me have this#Lol#And to think I made this because I Actually wanted to draw him miserably taking a shower!#Probably unsurprising but this was a shower thought lol#I knew as soon as I started thinking about the differences in Snowdin vs. Hotland's temperatures and what that might do to the water-#It was too late! I had to make something about it all my doodles are secretly just a way to smuggle unrelated headcanons out lol#Pipes bursting in Snowdin probably would be a problem for at least like kitchen sinks :0 Need reinforced cold-proof pipes haha#I haven't gotten to Hotland in my current playthrough but there was also the water cooler wasn't there!#Only Waterfall convenient to take showers in lol#ANYway so distractable lol#Gaster doesn't feel even a little bad asking favours lol casually waves it away as ''It needs to be done so it's fine''#Aren't you worried about being an inconvenience! No he's not lol#And obviously Alphys doesn't mind hehe âŞ#Alphys is the best because basically no matter where you drop it in the timeline she's always going to be awkward and thirsty lol#They've known each other for a few months? They've known each other for a few years? Alphys will still swing-and-a-miss lol#She's really cute heck I gotta practice her more ⍠Curves! Love drawing curves#Really what were you expecting - why would he come out before he's dressed? This isn't his house it's not like he can just wander around#He brought everything in with him that he needed! Silly#If skeletons are fluffy do you suppose they shed? Would she find skeleton fuzz on one of her towels?
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day 345
soooo guess who has ADHD
the state of Nebraska and its arcane policies have once again laid me low
#day 345#year 5#it me#now dont get me wrong. i am Very Very Psyched to have these meds on board.#but i am also. just a wee bit salty. that i could potentially have had them on board for the last NINE YEARS if this psychiatrist had like#simply used a little critical thinking about the assessment technique she was using#but also she looked at me and didnt figure out i was autistic so like theres only so much that can be done for her i think#anyway even though it is pretty rough you can tell im medicated because i did a Fucking Twelve Panel Comic
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I wanted to make some kilt hose for the Highland Games but could only manage a single ho đ
Guess I could hop.
#actually checked the weather and itâs going to be in the ninties so no wool socks for me#pretty pictures come after the socks are both done#wouldnât have been able to wear them anyway though because Iâve just remembered my plaid skirt is in the darning hoop#knitblr#knit socks#knit kilt hose#kilt hose#Highland Schottische Kilt Hose#Nancy bush#I have very thick calves and ankles and the cuff is too tight. thinking I might rip it out and reknit it on 3 mms#i remember being 8 and my friend telling me how gross it was someone she knew had âkanklesâ. didnât know what they were but thought it was#stupid to care what your ankles look like. promptly gave me a complex about them and I ended up having âkanklesâ anyway#it is stupid to care what your ankles look like although itâs annoying not to fit knit sock patterns đ
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I find the demonization of Demeter in supposedly feminist retellings of the Hades and Persephone story thoroughly fascinating because she was actually the myth's protagonist
A lot of retellings focus on the "lovebirds" but the myth was moreso focused on Demeter's quest to bring her daughter home than any romance they might've had. In fact, the original source material is entitled "Homeric Hymn to Demeter"
It followed the goddess of harvest searching desperately for the whereabouts of her kidnapped daughter, enlisting the help of deities and mortals alike along the way, and eventually forcing Zeus himself to come to a compromise through sheer stubborness and pure love for her child
An interpretation I really like is that the tale is an allegory for mothers in Ancient Greece whose daughters were taken away from them to be married off without them having any say in the matter
Putting all that aside, I'm really curious as to what prompted people to portray Demeter as a control freak who doesn't want to see her daughter happy with the one she loves when originally, she was simply a mother who fought tooth and nail to see her Persephone returned to her
#in which epher is shamelessly garrulous#late night rambles real#also yes this is mainly about lore olympus#mythological demeter defender till i die#she was one of the better gods#she had a temper but i dont recall her doing anything particularly evil like the other gods#sure she granted erisychthon insatiable hunger but that was after he cut down her sacred grove after she explicitly warned him not to#i haven't heard about her doing anything worse than that but i'd be interested in hearing about it if she has#and yes she did starve mankind which was what drove zeus to partly give persephone back but her child had literally been taken from her#it doesn't exactly justify it because people definitely died but it was a very human reaction and it displayed how much she loved persephon#while other gods' evil acts are usually done out of pleasure#anyways#greek mythology#demeter#persephone#hades#persephone and hades#hades and persephone#greek gods#lore olympus critical#lore olympus criticism#sorry people who enjoy lore olympus#ramblings
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one of my favorite parts of speculating ahead of the Veilguard is the number of people talking themselves around and around in the loop of "Illario is extremely suspicious and the most obvious choice for who betrayed Lucanis â However, Illario seems like he genuinely cares for Lucanis and seemed sincerely distraught in The Wake â I know in my heart it must be Illario: there is no one else with means and motive â If Illario did it, I understand why given how Caterina has treated him and them, and he has arguably earned a bit of a villain era â The situation is ultimately caused by Caterina and Crow politics and, again, Caterina â I don't want it to be Illario because I want he and Lucanis to have a good relationship given all they've suffered together â However, there is already an existing bitterness between them because of the succession question and in Illario generally because he's seen as lesser â Illario is the most obvious choice"
#so many of us are like it's gotta be Illario I don't want it to be Illario it makes sense it's Illario#It's like... it's a tragic situation because no matter whatâeven if it is Illarioâthe root cause is Caterina and she's already dead.#Speaking for myself. *I* keep doing this loop bc even if it was Illario it's hard with what we know so far for me to hold it against him?#Yes he had different choices. Obviously he could have done anything else. But like it isn't just ambition and spite.#Assuming it is him [points at the loop] it feels like a situation fostered by the way Caterina raised and hurt them both.#What methods do you feel you have when the only thing you know is knives and murder?#How else to feel when the cousin you love like a brother eventually convinces himself he doesn't hate the grandmother who ruined you both?#She is only âCaterinaâ in your mouths and you are âcousinâ in his but he is choosing her over you and how else is there to feel?#After all: she's sharpened all your emotions into knives. They're only ever knives.#ANYWAY that got away from me there for a second#I think that's why we're doing this loop. It's gotta be Illario but it being Illario resolves little. It's not a complete catharsis.#It's really the facts of their lives. It's really what Caterina did to them. It's really the yawning pit at the center of House Dellamorte.#Illario Dellamorte#Lucanis Dellamorte#Caterina Dellamorte#Dragon Age: The Veilguard#Dragon Age The Veilguard#Veilguard#Dragon Age#DATV things#DATV spoilers#Veilguard spoilers
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something I do appreciate about red vs blue is its particular brand of âcame back wrongâ. you were brought back, but youâre just a memory of the person youâre supposed to be. youâre just the expectations of them. youâre just the pieces everyone else saw and remembered. youâre tough like the original, but youâll always fail no matter how tough you are, because the original failed, too. youâve got a personality like the original, but itâs not quite right because you didnât actually live the life they did. thereâs this person you love- who you would kill or suffer or die for- but you donât know why, you just know youâre supposed to be together because thatâs what you were made for.
#thinkin abt tex and epsilon at 4am on a thursday#anyway thinkin about the fact that tex and church were never *actually* together outside of blood gulch#she tried to save alpha. she failed. he didn't know who she was and she was forced to leave him.#but realistically? he'd never met her before. because she wasn't allison and he wasn't leonard#they were both just copies that knew who they were supposed to be#and epsilon never met tex. he only had the copy based on alpha's muddled memories.#and then when he brought her back... she was just even more wrong because she was a memory of a memory#and even with all of alpha's memories#epsilon wasn't alpha. he was someone different because he'd been through different things#alpha didn't remember what was done to him. epsilon did. alpha didn't know what he'd lost. epsilon did.#alpha lived his life. had relationships with the reds and blues. epsilon just remembered it.#and with that in mind you have to wonder...#what did tex actually remember? who did she think she was? what did she think the director and alpha were to her?#because epsilon had alpha's memories but beta didn't even have that.#anyway yeah roommate agreed to experience rvb with me and we watched seasons 1-10 together and hooboy#I'm back on my bullshit#red vs blue#rvb#Agent Texas#tex rvb#Leonard Church#church rvb#epsilon rvb#alpha rvb#beta rvb
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Our non-marine heroine Karleeen McQueen
You know what, you already know lots of stuff about Ahti II, Iâm now going to tell you about Karleeen the spidergirl, Ahtiâs best friend and the protagonist of a story Iâm writing! A quick information sheet:
(+ Art reference)
Karleeen (with three eâs)⌠well, who doesnât know about Karleeen! Probably not by looks, but you could read all about her on the papers some years back. Itâs been a while, you'd hardly recognise her if you saw her now! Especially among the other jolly beachgoers, joggers, shoppers and summertime tourists; Karleeen lives in Naantali after all, with her single father on the coast of southwest Finland. In the summer it's busy, in the winter it's very quiet, all year round it's a very appropriate place for Karleeen, she thinks.
Now in her mid-teens (the Sirpaverse âstarting pointâ is 2021), Karleeen is a most open and jolly girl! She loves socialising and chats with just about anybody she has a chance to interact with for more than five minutes. Sheâs always planning outings and looking to spend time with her best friends, too! She enjoys being silly, making wordplay and coming up with puns with ridiculous set-ups. Karleeen is a sensitive soul, she feels all of her emotions very strongly and shows them strongly, too. She sometimes has trouble regulating her emotional reactions and has a tendency to spiral. It's very difficult for Karleeen to lie, her feelings will be very clear from her facial expressions and body language no matter how hard she may pretend to feel otherwise. Not that she'd even lie! It would make her feel too bad.
Karleeen has loved nothing more her whole life than making "thingamajigs" â you know, machines, things that move, little inventions! It's so fascinating to her, how pieces that are little more than scrap on their own weave together into intricate creations that are far more than the sum of their parts. When she was a young kid she'd make things out of twigs and rocks and rope, but in her teens she's now moved onto more sophisticated methods, legos and actual robot-building sets. She's also dipping her toes into coding, so far it seems fun and it offers an additional medium for making things (only digitally this time). Karleeen would love to study mechanical engineering when she's old enough to go to a university, but it'll be a while until then! Besides for robotics Karleeen enjoys hiking in the outdoors, climbing trees, basking, collecting fun and/or useless trinkets of various kinds and strawberry-themed items, playing platformers and action-adventure games and doodling.
Karleeenâs a smart girl, but she struggles a lot with languages. Or, well, donât let me entirely misrepresent her: she does have the achievement of knowing some ASL signs. Still, Finnish is the only language she speaks fluently and itâs her own mother tongue! She canât quite get anything else stuck to her brain, speaking Swedish or Surish or even simple English feels like a chore. Like stated above Karleeenâs body language is very clear, one of the more common actions Karleeen does when sheâs nervous, scared or sad is holding her hands and arms close to her chest.
Karleeen's favourite genre of music is classical, but she can't listen to it casually because it makes her very emotional. She likes pop, rock and soundtracks when it comes to just playing music in the car or with friends. Her favourite animals are elephants, and her favourite fish is the electric eel. Her favourite meal is minute beef steak with seasoned butter and chanterelles, but her actual favorite singular food item in general and favourite snack is wild strawberries. Her favourite drink is tap water. Her favourite flower is fireweed.
(Nowhere else to really mention this but Karleeen is also asexual and biromantic, it took a long while for her to figure out because her relationship with having human connections is rather complicated and unusual but sheâs comfortable in that identity and doesnât really overthink it, she has a lot of love in her heart for so many things so itâs only natural she would have a lot of love for many people too, she thinks)
#i want to point out that karleeen knows a little bit asl for a specific reason and not just because thats a sign language#apparently some people are under the impression that every deaf or hoh person in the world knows asl only?????#it is a specific feature that is unusual in her situation of being a finnish girl who does not interact with deaf people on a regular basis#and it is very intentional!#anyway. i love this girl and may you love this girl also when i actually finish my wips lol#karleeen is one of those few characters who came to me fully ready in a dream â even with a name!#karleen is also like an actual name which is crazy to me because i had no clue. im also coincidentally more used to the misspelled version#now having called karleeen that for years lmaoooo but thats how she was called in the dream UU#baby girl wonderful girl she has never done anything wrong in her life trust :]#karleeen#art#my art#sirpaverse#not fish
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wouldn't you like a taste of the power?
#last dunmeshi thursday........... sparkle on and have a delicious day#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#dunmeshi#dunmeshi spoilers#dungeon meshi spoilers#delicious in dungeon spoilers#mithrun#mithrun of the house of kerensil#blood tw#light gore tw#my art#2024#i like him a normal amount i think#shout out to all the other tomura refugees flocking to this manga rn hi guys#he is sooo strangler fig by the crane wives btw. but i had this song on loop when i was drawing because it reminded me of the demon sm#-> she can turn you to an animal that'll end up on her plate#-> you must consume and digest it then you'll manifest a being of your creation. all you need's imagination#etc etc etc. dungeon lord era. i shan't go on. you get it#i really like how the demon is continuously portrayed like an abusive lover the imagery of it all is so good#also let it be known when the finale gets animated i will be sobbing wailing and losing my shit#voice casting koki uchiyama was done to target me specifically i think. anyway#oh and the flower is a snapdragon do with that information what you will
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