#because now the tactic worked once he is very likely to do it again!

[megpricephotography]

Ha, this dog is too clever & too bossy by half! Earlier today, Flynn apparently decided it was past time to go out for a walk (& being let in the garden just wasn't good enough). When I didn't immediately drop everything in response to him whining at me, Flynn wandered off... but he was back a moment later... carrying my shoe! He shoved it directly into my hands & then marched off & got the other shoe & gave me that one too.

Subtle? No!

Effective? Yes!

10 minutes later, we were off on Flynn's walk.

[monabee-draws]

Dorian confessing his intention to return to Tevinter for good is so heartbreaking in the Tresspasser DLC. Because of course he does! It doesn't come out of nowhere, he tells the inquisitor as much before they even defeat Corypheus - he loves his home country and knows that he personally needs to be the one to fix it. Not any foreign power (including you and the Inquisition) but through internal change. And he's so blasé about it when he tells you, keeping his tone light, excited for his future work with Maevaris and the Lucerni! Of course, he didn't want you to find out like that but this is a good thing. He's happy! He's practically jovial!

And then you think about how familiar that tone of voice is. And remember his romance scene, and the nonchalant way he asks you if this whole relationship is just a one-time thing. And how he jokes and jibes with you in the bad-end future during In Hushed Whispers, to the point where Leliana calls him out on the obvious attempt at levity. Barring your brushes with his family, who elicit a kind of knee-jerk anger that cracks his usual mask, Dorian is very good at maintaining that emotional wall. So you listen as your heart breaks, as you consider how to respond to the lightness of him in this devastating moment, and you realise-

Dorian is terrified. The kind of scared where you can't really voice it, not in public, not even in private spaces when you aren't 100% in control. It's scary losing a parent, even one you're not quite reconciled with. To have to take his place and fill a role you've never fit, and somehow finally actually push forward with all the ideals you've been imagining to be so far away for many years. And to do all that on the opposite side of the world from the people who all made you finally believe it could be possible in the first place?

Dorian is so very used to being the brave one, the optimistically realistic one, that he can't possibly burden you - whose heart is breaking, whose Inquisition is failing, whose body is slowly killing them - with all of his own ugly fear. That wouldn't be very charming and dependable and Dorian of him, would it? More to the point, leaning on you would be both more burdensome to you and chafe against his own stubborn pride - not accepting favours is well-established during his romance-specific quest to retrieve his birthright. So instead of taking you aside somewhere quiet, consulting you about his final decision on the matter, and giving both of you the space to grieve, he...

Well he tells Varric. And Sera, and Bull, and Cole. Part of it is practice - how might they react? Part of it is in hope for advice on how to break the news. Varric and Bull are adept speakers. Cole's whole job is compassion. Even Sera's bluntness might help when you're chronically incapable of not sugarcoating things. But all it really does it make things worse, because its a distancing tactic. Nothing can truly prepare him for the crack in your voice, the sharp sting of your flinch and the perceived betrayal.

It's almost ironic, that his romantic lock-in asks you to decide if you're in for the long haul, when Dorian's entire arc is one that will inevitably draw him back to Tevinter. And specifically in such a way as to leave you. Because he does not want you tagging along (at least not now, not as the Inquisitor.) Dorian's fear in this moment is not fully centered on you, the man he loves, but there is certainly a part of him that is back in the Inquisitor's chambers on the opposite side of that question of 'do you want me to stay.'

Dorian Pavus' greatest fear is temptation, emblazoned on his tombstone in the Fade for all to see. And there you are, with your political power, ready to jump in and save the day once again on his behalf. And he's tempted. There you are with your familiarity and a space for him in the South that accepts him for who he is. And he's tempted.

There you are. Loving him. And well...

So he doesn't lower his voice to whisper to you, or hold you too close. He confesses in public where the crowds prohibit hysterics, he sips on precious wine, and he gifts you his sending stone. It is both distance and closeness all tied with a bow. A temptation that he can just about handle. Fear under wraps. Because if he lets you, you will - without even knowing - stop his entire life in its tracks. You represent everything he can never afford to lose to. And it is wretched how desperately he doesn't want to lose you.

[dragon-kazansky]

Bridgerton shade of blue

Benedict Bridgerton x Female Reader

Benedict bumps into you, quite literally, at a ball while trying to escape his mother's attempts to find him a partner. You decide to humour him with a dance, not realising just how entwined you would become with him. It seems the universe will find every excuse to push you and Benedict together, no matter how much you fight it.

{Masterlist}

{Previous Chapter} - {Next Chapter}

Season one

Chapter Eight - Sparkling diamond

♡♡♡

Benedict joined his sister, Eloise, out in the garden again long after the other had gone to bed. She was smoking on the swing like last time.

As Benedict takes a seat on the opposite swing, she passes him the cigarette. He takes it.

"I found bits of your sketchbook in the fireplace," Eloise says.

"Are you spying on me now?"

"You'd actually have to be interesting for me to bother spying on you," she chuckles.

"The drawings in that sketchbook were abominable," he says firmly. "I could not stand to look at them."

"I believe that is why they call it a sketchbook." Eloise looks at them. "I write in my diary, which is not the same as wiring in my novel."

Benedict chuckles.

"It must be very difficult to want something and not be able to get it."

"Eloise..."

"If you enjoy drawing but need practise, then practise," she goes on. "Hire a drawing master. Find a young lady to act impressed."

You cross his mind. However, he doesn't want you to act impressed. He wants you to be impressed by his work. Genuinely so.

"If you desire the sun and the moon, all you have to do is go out and shoot at the sky. Some of us cannot.

"Look no further than Lady Whistledown. She possesses a huge talent for writing, and yet she must hide away and publish under a false name."

"Yes, because if anyone knew who Whistledown truly was, she'd be strung up for what she said," Benedict states.

"That is not my point. Whistledown is a woman, therefore she has nothing, and still she writes. You're a man, therefore you have everything. You are able to do whatever you want. So do it. Be bold."

Eloise envies her brothers.

"At least that way I can live vicariously through you." She rises to leave.

"Eloise... are you Lady Whistledown?" Benedict asks.

Eloise laughs.

"You're an accomplished writer, always scribbling in that diary of yours. You certainly know everyone else's business. You have more opinions than anyone else I know in London. You would have my full support and admiration either way, sister."

Elosie laughs again.

"So... is it you?"

"No." She looks at him. "Though if it were... do you honestly think that I'd admit it?"

Elosie heads back inside.

Benedict is left with his thoughts.

♡♡♡

The ballroom was elegantly designed. Soft shades to light up the room. You find yourself without a dance partner, however.

Prince Friedrich was in the middle of a dance with Cressida Cowper.

The duke was standing sternly off to the side with Lady Danbury. They appeared to be talking quietly, though judging by the stern faces, it was not a pleasant conversation.

You find yourself gently, and you admire the room. Benedict wasn't here. You couldn't see him at all.

That is not to say you had gone unnoticed. You glance to your left and find a perfectly suitable gentleman looking your way. You smile softly and turn your gaze away.

Tactics of flirtation were not completely out of your power.

Before anyone could make a move, however, the doors at the top of the stairs opened. It wasn't so much the doors that caught everyones attention, more like who had come through them.

You swear you all breath left you when your eyes landed on Daphne coming down the stairs with her mother. She was wearing the most beautiful silver gown you had ever seen, and her hair was beautifully done. She looked like, well, a princess.

In her hand was a feather fan. It went beautifully with her attire. She began to descend the stairs.

All eyes were on her.

Prince Friedrich was at the bottom of the stairs. Not once did he look away. You watch with interest as Daphne gets closer, closer, and closer to him.

The prince leaves Cressida's side to meet Daphne at the bottom stair.

The duke does not move.

Daphne stops.

"Miss Bridgerton, I simply musylt have your first dance." He speaks to her softly.

"It would be an honour, your highness." She curtsies.

A moment passes between them, and then you watch as Daphne drops her fan. Just like that, the prince kneels down to pick it up.

The prince kneeled.

You don't even realise the soft gasp you let out as you watch.

Prince Friedrich offers her the fan, and she takes it. She smiles at him and then gives the fun to her mother as she takes the prince hand.

They dance.

The duke leaves. Though he turns back to look at Daphne before he goes.

In the words of Lady Whistledown, why settle for a duke when one can have a prince?

♡♡♡

The invitation to attend the boxing match came from Anthony Bridgerton. You were rather pleasantly surprised by his invitation.

Anthony apparently needed some help to keep his mother quiet about finding a wife for himself.

You laughed.

You follow the siblings until they reach the prince. He approaches Daphne, but greets you, also. You curtsy.

Anthony then offers you his arm. "Shall we?"

You chuckle and take it, allowing him to lead you over to some seats. As you settle, you turn to the eldest Bridgerton.

"Where are you brothers?" You ask.

"My brothers? Currently talking to one of the fighters." He gestures to the edge of the ring where you spot Colin and Benedict.

You don't even notice you're smiling.

"You and my brother seem to have grown rather close." Anthony points out, looking at you.

"I can assure you there is nothing untoward. Your brother is my friend, as are you all now." You smile at him.

Anthony chuckles.

"Benedict seems to have a lot on his mind at the moment. I am not one to get in the way of someone's business."

"Smart woman," Anthony chuckles.

You nudge his arm lightly and wait for the fight to begin.

As the match is announced to begin, the other brothers find their way to you and Anthony. Benedict looks rather surprised to see you. "I had no idea you were attending."

"Your brother invited me to keep your mother off his back. It seems that is all I'm good for." You chuckle.

"No true, but appreciated none the less," Benedict comments.

You smile, and he takes the empty seat beside you. It does not go unnoticed that you keep your arm looped with Anthony's. He doesn't comment on it.

The fight is intense. You gasp with every hard punch. The men around you cheer on their victor.

You had never witnessed such a match before, and you would be lying if you said you were not somewhat into it.

As the crowd stands, you stand with them and cheer along with the Bridgerton brothers. William Mondrich was their friend, and he was putting up hell of a good fight.

Benedict finds it amusing how excited you seem to be.

Mondrich wins!

You cheer along with the brothers. You laugh at the excitement. It was a thrilling match, indeed.

Anthony helps you down from your seat and speaks close to your ear so you can hear him. "We're off to collect our winnings. I shall see to it you get home right after."

You nod and thank him. As he leaves to fetch his earrings, Benedict turns to you.

"Did you enjoy that?"

You chuckle. "I did. Surprisingly."

"I must say, I did not expect to see you in attendance."

"I am full of surprises."

Benedict looks at you quietly for a moment. "Yes. You are."

You smile and look away. However, his gaze lingers on you for a bit.

Later, the Bridgertons see to it that you get home safely before they head off to the club. A place for the gentlemen only.

Anthony helps you up into the carriage and thanks you for humouring him today. Yo return the gesture and wave as the carriage leaves.

Colin has to nudge Benedict out of his thoughts.

♡♡♡

@callmemana - @lilscast - @imgondeletedis - @benedictbridgertonss - @clownsdiehard - @wxnterwidow333

@sillynilly27 - @autumn-slaves - @ben-has-arrived - @ajdelilah - @aadu2173

@booknerdlife - @tamlinrose - @sarahskywalker-amidala - @cheryyluv - @louschan - @lou-la-lou - @cultish-corner

@hopshusushi - @katherinejess - @nannabug - @afunkyfreshblog - @f0x33 - @dd122004dd -

@jupitervenusearthmars - @orchiidflwer - @bespinnn - @captainlunaxmen - @winchestersimpalababy - @acupnoodle

@ms-fandomgirl - @fablesrose - @anyaisinyourcloset - @meowzerzstuff -

[thewritetofreespeech]

Could I request Alucard (Castlevania) finding his beloved's art room, that is filled with various forms of art of him? Paintings, sculptures, poems, etc.

He doesn’t want to use the term ‘stalking in the night’ because he feels like it’s a trope for half of his blood line and Alucard doesn’t like stereotypes. But that was what he was doing.

It wasn’t for anything nefarious though. Night after night, his beloved would sneak off into some dark, deserted portion of the castle alone. With just the two of them there were a lot of spaces like this in his father’s old home. It also wasn’t as if they needed to spend all of their time together. Alucard appreciated that people needed & desired space. He himself needed it from time to time. It was just the pattern that had left him curious.

With his natural born stealth and tactical advantage of growing up in the castle, Alucard followed just behind them as they walked through the dark corridors and through one large, old, heavy door near the end. Almost forgotten by everyone. The dhampir arched a manicured brow and gave them a moment, and when they didn’t come out Alucard pressed on. Opening the door with much more ease and finding the room filled with a surprising amount of light despite it’s clutter. “What are you doing in here?”

He heard his lover shriek once in surprise, and something like sticks fall on the ground before it was followed by a larger commotion. “Damnit!” They cursed before they picked up what fell as Alucard came closer. A canvas and paint brushes now right side up off the floor. “What are you doing here?!”

“I asked you first.” Alucard told them as he looked around. “What is all this?”

He knew the castle very well. Although there were secrets his father kept from him, a vaults worth of art was not among them. Before he changed Dracula was actually a great patron of the arts. Finding beauty in almost all artistic expressions. So this was a new addition to his childhood home.

“It’s just…a hobby.” They confessed. “I find it soothing.”

“Art can have that effect on people.” He agreed as he looked at one of the pieces. Like his father, he liked art, but had no knack for it. Only the art for the sword had been his gift. “I meant more what is all this doing here? Why hide all this?”

“I don’t know.” They told him honestly. “I guess I just thought they weren’t very good.”

‘Not very good?’ Alucard arched his brow again as he looked at the works around the room. They were all wonderful. Even the unfinished pieces. “I never made any money selling them. And no one ever seemed interested in my art. So I just keep them here. I don’t have the heart to throw them away.”

“People are philistines. And you shouldn’t throw them away.”

Alucard picked up one of the landscapes and looked at it. He remembered this place. From one of their travels. “Can we put this in the dinning room?”

They seemed surprised by his ask. “You want to?”

“I liked this lake. Those trees. I’d like to remember it while we have meals. Think on that picnic.”

He went through the other pieces and asked if he could put up more. They weren’t his to decide what to do with, but he wanted them to encourage them to put it out. “Are you planning on turning the castle into my debut gallery?” They finally ask.

“If you’d let me.” Alucard replied after he’d collected over a dozen paintings, sculptures, and displays to bring out into the light. “Or at least a private gallery.”

They blushed but let him continue to go through the pieces. When he was done, Alucard came over and gave them a soft kiss. “You should never feel that your talent is less than. Your work is incredible. You’re incredible. You shouldn’t keep it in these dusty rooms for no one to see.”

He took the original picture he selected and left. Giving them privacy to paint while he went to hang this in its proper place in the dining room. He’d come back for the others later. Ready to bring them into the light, when they were ready.

[liilacpeach]

Vice Dorm Leaders Relationship Headcanons

✧...

It's fluff time (again)

GN reader

Jade

✧...

Entertainment is one of Jade's biggest goals, above even the money he usually uses his efforts for, so from the moment he realized that you would be able to bring that to him, it becomes noticeable to you from time to time two pairs of heterochromatic eyes standing out in the shadows. Definitely as far away from a romantic beginning as possible, it also lacks romance in the way your conversations revolve around him trying to get a reaction from you. This starts to change when his hobby becomes the subject of one of your "debates", unlike his usual calmer temperament, he ends up becoming a little more expressive when it comes to his tastes, however questionable they may be, so when you pay attention to what he says, not giving the disgusted reaction he wanted, his interest goes from what you could bring to him, to you as a person. You become company instead of a way for him to pass his time, even if that doesn't mean he'll stop teasing you, but you can see a warmth in his eyes as he does it, different from before.

He finds himself wanting to know more about you, not just to facilitate future negotiations or fun, instead of just discovering your weaknesses he also wonders about your tastes, thoughts, how you feel. He doesn't care what people think of him, that's a fact, but sometimes he has doubts about how you see him, even though he knows that he may be asking himself that because he likes you, to protect his own emotions, he prefers to occupy himself with making you admit what you really think of him, whether his feelings would be reciprocated, instead of thinking about his own feelings for you, even if he likes you, he already has the habit of trying to be one step ahead of everyone in terms of knowledge. It's hard to say if he confessed to you or if he made you confess without even realizing what happened. Also because of his focus on controlling information, for a long time you will only be able to see what he wants to show, when he opens up more it wouldn't be anything so direct either, but he would leave some clues here and there about how he feels.

Although questionable, one of the ways that Jade lets you see how much he cares is by studying you, your different reactions and what causes them, it was his goals to learn these from the beginning, but now with a more romantic touch. He can't hide a seemingly evil smile from onlookers point of view when he realizes how much his range of options has increased. This study usually results in him learning your preferences to know what tactics he could use to make his gestures more meaningful to you. He tests each theory, then suddenly your hand and forehead are kissed by him one day, in the next one, you receive an invitation to a meal at Mostro Lounge, once again he does you a favor. He tries to pretend it's just out of curiosity, but for anyone who knows him, also knows that these actions have a meaning beyond that.

Because he doesn't care about other people's opinions, it's very difficult to see Jade show any embarrassed reaction, no matter how small, it's not entirely impossible, despite it being subtle. For him who takes pride in knowing your next moves before you can do anything, if you manage to surprise him, his normally colder heart warms up a little. Taking initiative and being the person who initiates any physical touch also works, although rarely, but generally the most efficient method is the one that involves his hobby. From you offering to accompany him on mountain hiking, to you mentioning to him a species of mushrooms that you believe he has never seen before, or remembering what he said about this subject when others normally don't pay attention. It's possible, even if it's hard to see, that he would show his happiness with a genuine smile instead of a scary one, telling you what he really likes about you, not just to try to make you embarrassed as a result or squeezing your hand a little tighter if he was holding it.

Ruggie

✧...

Maybe he would have already tried to give you a birthday present to get something in return or offered help so he could negotiate with you in the future, but if you want to offer help without any conditions, he will deny it. For you to provide support, it would have to be more discreet, asking for super simple favours in return that don't involve money, pretending that these are important to you, or helping him from behind the scenes. He is very intelligent, so he would eventually realize your true intentions at one time or another, but even after he finds out, he is confused about why he doesn't want you to stop, even though he is worried that one day he will have to return the favors if you charge him for it, he really doesn't want it to stop, both for the help and also because he knows how much he enjoys talking to you.

He would try to do more things for you as you got closer and his feelings became more romantic in nature, but that doesn't mean it would happen in a direct way, at least at first. Because of how he hides his emotions to protect himself, as he deals with several different students, but also because of his inferiority complex about being a hyena beastmen, he doesn't know if he would "offend" you if he showed any interest, even if he would never admit it was for that reason. He ends up using the same tactics as you at the beginning, subtly helping you, trying to keep you from noticing or asking for ridiculously simple favors in return. It takes time for him to confess his feelings for you, but it happens at one time or another, even if he maintains his mischievous attitude, it is visible how he becomes more shy around you, noticeable even to his laziest senior, who gives the last necessary push, so indirectly that not even Ruggie realized it. From the moment you two are together, he tells you everything with ease, since you are now part of his group of people that are important to him, trusting you completely.

In addition to supporting you in whatever you need, another way Ruggie shows affection is through physical touch. All of his actions are practically calculated so as not to owe anyone a favor, in a scenario like this it's hard to believe that he is used to showing vulnerability, except to a smaller group of people, so as he starts to trust you more, he also shows that he wants a greater physical proximity to you, even letting you touch one of his insecurities, his ears, as it is proof of his hyena-like physical features, it shows how much he considers you. After a while you wouldn't even need to take initiative anymore, since it would be obvious when he wants that special attention, because he surrounds you and stares at you all day, even if he tries to avoid being noticed, normally he can't hide it.

Ruggie takes a long time to trust someone, so when he finally ends up allowing someone he doesn't consider family to join this group of his special people, after being very selective, he is completely lost. Used to not letting real emotions show, it's difficult to notice when he's embarrassed about something, but it happens more often than you might think, especially when you help him or during the most innocent physical touch. Even if your cooking skills can't reach even Lilia's (as difficult as that is to happen) he would eat with a huge smile, he would try to hide it for the rest of the day, but some happy laughs escape when he remembers the meal you prepared for him, especially if they were donuts. Even the privilege of touching his ears, he pretends to be a reward for you, but his red face and smile say otherwise.

Jamil

✧...

It's meaningful to him that he met you organically and without any influence from Kalim, even if it was a strong bump as he walked quickly, worried as always. For Jamil, that all daily activities, from hobbies to even acquaintances, happened because of the space that Kalim takes in his life, meeting you spontaneously one day, despite it being uncomfortable for someone who plans and loves to have control in any situation , it was also somewhat satisfying for him, yet his presentation was short and calculated, as he immediately had to go back to what he was doing before talking to you. He continues to wear the mask while interacting with you, but he can't deny that he has fun, as he finally has a place where he doesn't have to remember who he is and the responsibilities that come with it.

For a long time he keeps his feelings to himself, even though he knows he feels something more for you because of how much he daydreams thinking about what he would do if he could say what he really thinks. He ends up confessing after you mention that he received an invitation to go to a party from Kalim. Just like the rest of emotions, he keeps to himself as much as he can until it all comes out at once, this wasn't much different, it was in the botanical garden that the words started to come out due to the shock of perhaps losing your company out of pure fear of doing something, not an ounce of regret after it happens, since even with his efforts to do otherwise, you saw who he really is and the title he was forced to carry, to his surprise, you accepted him, even before he achieved the freedom he so desires. You would have to be perceptive and try to think beyond what he says, since he tries to disguise even the things he likes, with the trust he acquires for you and the time you spend together, it naturally becomes easier to see what he really thinks about everything.

He knows what it's like to not have the time and freedom to do everything he likes because of the obligations he has, so he subconsciously tries to lighten your responsibilities, but not because he thinks you're incapable or irresponsible, he does it because he wants to ease the weight on your shoulders, he understands what it's like to not have time for yourself, so he doesn't want you to go through the same situation. Besides trying to fit you into his busy schedule, another way to see how much he cares is by paying attention to how he plans everything just to have a moment alone with you, instead of saving that time to spend alone as he would prefer before, now when he thinks about a relaxing time, you are automatically included in what he would consider calming, so he ends up calling you. He also tries to demonstrate his skills more while you are around, rather than holding back.

Jamil feels embarrassed easily, even if he tries not to show it, but prominent among the options of what to do to please him is reinforcing his independence. Throughout his life he has had to repress his own desires, so when you make it clear that you value his thoughts and emotions and want to listen to them before any decision involving him, even if he didn't take the initiative to tell you if you asked him, it would be an important moment for him, regardless of how many times it happened. Another way to make him more shy is to praise his skills honestly, he is already used to having to give fake praise, so he easily recognizes when someone is being genuine, in seconds you would no longer be able to see his face, which would be being covered with his hood.

Trey

✧...

Because of his role, he ends up meeting a lot of new people frequently, including you, but you stand out because you offer help instead of just asking for it, despite the students habit of questioning whether each action has ulterior motives, no one is made of steel, and even though he tries to diminish it to outsiders, the weight of his responsibilities is huge, so along with his down-to-earth personality, his tiredness also influences his temptation to accept the extra help. He gets used to your presence, to the point that if you're absent, even if it's just a few minutes late, it's enough for him to feel more worried. As the days go by, your name is practically replaced by the title of cook's assistant in the conversations of other students, who begin to wonder if the relationship between the two of you is not so platonic, due to the way he looks at you and the amount of time you two spend together.

For Trey, who avoids conflicts and negative emotions to the point of reaching catastrophic results, this habit is also perpetuated in positive emotions. Because he is reserved and patient, he justifies his actions to himself by stating that just spending time with you is already enough for him, that he has a long way to go before he decides to care about these things. He insists on holding back even when it is visible in his eyes that he is capable of having ambition, wanting something more, or the hint of jealousy that he feels every time your attention shifts from him to your friends while you two are together, since secretly he puts a lot of effort into having that free space in his schedule to see you. Regardless of whether his emotions started slowly overflowing, or if you had to take control of the situation, already in the relationship it is easy to see his effort to express himself more, even if the negative side still appears less than the others in your conversations as you get to know each other better.

As expected, one of the ways Trey shows affection is like a grandmother, feeding those he loves, but beyond that he tries to be romantic in other more conventional ways, even if it ends up being super awkward, because he gets totally lost. Despite his dedication, it's hilarious how his attitudes are more romantic when he's not trying, from making you breakfast, offering to help carry whatever you're holding, opening doors for you, giving your hands a massage at the end of classes while holding them, even planning the dates he could have with you every time he visits a new place that he imagines to your liking. Practically the opposite of when he tries to do something, mainly because the results involve him getting stuck, not getting a decent compliment out of his mouth, almost falling over himself, and the list goes on from bad to worse. Because of his failed attempts, he tries to show how much he cares when he shows you anything other than the image of a normal person that he normally tries to maintain, from pranks, to showing how tired his responsibilities make him.

Trey doesn't show his emotions so easily, even when he's embarrassed in a lot of different situations, by spending more time with him you realize the meaning behind his hand on the back of his head or the way he smiles differently than usual. He underestimates himself and hides the areas in which he stands out to be an ordinary student, so much so that he left it to be misunderstood by others that his magic could only change the flavor of things, despite what he could actually do. Trey is another one who becomes more shy when others see through his intentions and praise the skills he has, drawing attention to what he would like to hide for convenience or because he finds it shameful. But what could be more meaningful for him would be receiving any care from you, since a large part of his responsibilities involve taking care of others, so that he has an easier school life, even when he starts giving you this special attention, but now for other purposes, helping you because he really cares about your well-being, it is still surprising for him to receive any small percentage of those efforts back, your efforts to help him could have been happening from the beginning, but it is much more meaningful to him now that he's sure it's genuine.

Lilia

✧...

Being as friendly and spontaneous as he is, it doesn't take long for you to end up talking, even if it's more one-sided pranks than you talking to each other at first. Because he has to protect someone as his duty and objective, he pays attention to every detail, and by chance you became one of his favorites, he stops to pay attention more, trying to interact with you daily because it's fun for him. At first it's more superficial, because despite being outgoing, he keeps his feelings private to himself, but the closer you get, the more he lets you see not only the teasing and jokes, but also the thinking behind them. Even though he's old, he's been busy taking care of practically three children, so it takes a while to realize his own emotions, when you realize the pranks went from him just appearing out of nowhere for a rose to appear in your hand, or how the scares he tries to give to you went from two magenta eyes suddenly appearing in front of you, to your favorite food appearing in your hand (since this is fluff and not angst, he bought it rather than preparing it, so your survival is guaranteed). He doesn't even realize that he is increasingly using what he has learned about you to take better care of you, nor does he see how this is different from how he treats others.

He thinks and feels much more than he lets on, even if he is attracted to you romantically, he may try to hide it, whether due to the responsibilities he carries, such as raising his children, but also his concern about not letting his position harm you. His focus goes from avoiding possible problems and heartbreaks to enjoying the time he has with you as much as he can, it's not the first time he's had to feel the concept of one living less time than the other, but it takes longer for him to change his mind about not getting so close to you, not only because of past experiences, but also because of the impression that with you he has the option of not showing the depth of his emotions, unlike while raising a child. He is completely capable of never saying how he really feels about you beyond pranks to protect you, so he would need you to take initiative to change that. Any negative emotions and experiences are kept secret from you by Lilia for a long time even though you are already in a relationship, as he feels pressured to make the time you two have together as perfect as possible, because it is shorter and he values it a lot, but it's nothing that your dedication to know more about him can't overcome, because even if he tries to avoid it, his weakness is to give in to your wishes, because deep down he would like to show more of himself to you, but also because he cares about what you want.

With his special combination of archaic and present knowledge, any attempt at romance coming from him ends up being this mix of an elderly couple's marriage and a common teenage couple. You receive flowers and letters, but you are also invited to play video games with him or spontaneously go out at night with him, to visit different places that are impossible to believe they exist since they are so beautiful, the places of which you two visit the most are the ones that have a great view of the sky, especially to see the moon at night. Even pranks have gained even more adorable factors, now being not just the surprise itself but also the kisses on the cheek that come with it.

Having lived such a long life, it is harder to bring up new things or tricks to make him more shy, but it is still possible through a little study. Researching the way people in his homeland express affection and putting some of it into practice with him, seeing the way he acts and trying to copy some of his pranks to scare him, even if they don't work, and trying to find out what he likes by asking others, brings the element of surprise necessary for you to see another side of him. Also when you try to cook something healthy, or offer to help him cook so you can spend more time with him, it makes him smile more every second that passes by on the clock, his face a little pinker thinking about the memories he has created with you.

Rook

✧...

Why he started talking to you is unknown, not only to the other students, but also to yourself. Was it beauty? Personality? Any specific talents? It's difficult to pinpoint exactly what created the first drops of curiosity that would later become a great interest in you, even he didn't really understand why, but it was probably the combination of all your traits that was responsible for leaving him intrigued. Even if he is curious, he keeps his distance for a while with only an idealized version of you in his mind, due to his tendency to admire people from afar, but as he gets to know you better instead of being disappointed, he is surprised at how much he finds reality even better than he imagined.

Even though he talks a lot, Rook doesn't reveal much about himself, even to those close to him. Admiration for you is easy for him to admit, but opening up and explaining how his emotions from idolizing you ended up moving towards a more romantic side as the two of you started interacting more, is much harder to come by. In theory, he would do well with romance because of the poetic way he sees love, but revealing other sides of himself is crucial in a relationship and he is very hesitant about it. As much as he usually doesn't hold back words, whether good or bad, those that reveal something more don't come out so easily, they just reverberate in his thoughts while his eyes follow you more and more. Even after reaching the point where his feelings are practically completely visible, it still takes a lot of patience and persistence to hear anything more personal than beautiful words, over time they become more expository of what is behind them, even if they keep being really poetic.

Him telling you his feelings is already a great romantic gesture in itself, due to his desire to keep almost everything private, but for Rook who is so devoted to those he admires, other ways of expressing the affection he has for you end being even more dramatic than expected. From taking you out on a boat at night under an ocean of stars, offering to do a painting with you as a model, telling you everything he liked about you almost daily, even what you didn't like about yourself. Of all the ways he could be romantic, the way he uses the most is words, so even if you were already doing something special, like an outdoor picnic, he would still say words that were more beautiful than the flowers around you both.

When Rook finds it necessary or gets emotional, just like when he saw Neige, he ends up revealing more about himself, so seeing a slight blush on his cheeks is difficult because of how alert he is, but not impossible. To achieve this feat there are two ways available, one is to distract him using the help of someone he admires to surprise him if you wanted to prepare something bigger, or another efficient method is to simply act in a way he is not used to seeing. Since he tries to memorize your mannerisms, when he sees an unexpected side of you, completely out of what would be expected out of your personality, it would get a reaction out of him, even though he normally doesn't sound like that, he is honest, even though he tries to control how much this affected him, he won't try so hard to hide from you.

[catiuskaa]

just hold on, darling.

SUMMARY: there’s a will and a way when waiting for him to log off work seems a lot… just hold on, darling.

WC: 0.7k

CW: lowercase, explicit and suggestive. thigh riding!

REQ! by anonnie right here. pookie, there was no question, and yet this was the correct fucking answer. ult taste, 10/10. slay.

[🎀 ★ ⛓️ ★ 🎀]

“just hold on, darling,” he says again, pressing on his glasses once more, still sat in front of the laptop.

you roll your eyes, because he’s been saying the same thing for the past ten minutes. and it had all been a-ok during the rest of the day, a lucky one, that is, because after the last photoshoot of today’s schedule, he had been allowed to take the outfit back home.

the typing noise he’s making, along with how he pushes the bridge of his thick black glasses back does not match the biker vibes he has going on. the idea had been to take it off once you both arrived home, but it had taken a mere phone call for him to make a beeline to his computer to deal with whatever he had been told to.

and there he was.

typing.

“so unfair.” you pout, exaggerating a frown. he snickers, not adding further comments.

“why are you in such a hurry, bubs?” he finally says something different, even if his eyes can’t seem to leave the screen.

a blush threatens to creep up from your neck, but there was no trace of shame or bashfulness when you sigh, crossing your arms over your chest.

“you kept winking and smirking while you were taking your photos.” you shrug, as if the thought is just that simple to you.

and it is. changbin is hot. very hot.

there are no further comments required.

his sheepish chuckle makes you roll your eyes again. “what do you mean?” he smiles. “i was just taking the photos, darling.”

the audacity to tease you on and on and then not doing anything about it makes heat pool in your belly. what the fuck is he playing?

you make your way towards him from the doorframe, separating the chair from the table, your hand grabbing the back of his chair, forcing him to look at you.

the way changbin finally looks at you shoots up the tension in the room, his chocolate-colored eyes turning darker as they travel along the seams of the new lingerie you’re wearing.

“what’s this?” he smirks, but you quickly shoo his hands away, a sly grin discernible in your features.

he bites his lip when you sit on his lap. “that depends,” you grin cheekily. his hand travels to your neck, and he hums when you let him, settling yours over his.

“i need to finish this,” he says, but his hands move you to sit over his thigh.

“i want to finish too,” you tease, kissing his cheeks, the corner of his lips, his neck. his sighs and grunts make you snicker, knowing that your convincements tactics are working.

but then, he bites his lip. “finish, then.” his hand finds home on your hip. you blink, certainly interested in what he has to say.

“if you can do as i say and finish right here on my thigh, maybe i won’t be as mean as you are being right now,” he faked annoyance, much to your amusement. “looking so edible when i need to work… what a tease, bubs.”

you bite your lip. “you mean it?”

he grins, kissing your collarbone. “of course. just hold on, mmh?” he teases, his hand on your hip lowering to your butt. “hold on to me.”

the way he fails to go back to his work makes you bite your lip to hold back a smile. his hands grow restless, grabbing and touching, helping you roll your hips as he tenses his thigh.

“that’s it, bunny.” he licks your neck, then blows on it, just how you like it, making you shiver over him. “i can feel you getting wet. that what you wanted, mmh?” he nibbles and pecks kisses on your chest, enticingly lowering the straps of your bra.

he doesn’t take it off, merely stares at you from below, his eyes captured in the way you pant and moan.

“bin…”

fuck it.

work can wait.

[🎀 ★ ⛓️ ★ 🎀]

~kats, who ultimately missed posting about dearest [finest] binnie boy <3

catiuskaa, july 2024 ©

[theturtlelovers]

Hi! May I request, for the sentence prompts, number 5: “I’m not going to stop poking you until you give me some attention.” For a female reader with Donnie who are bf and gf, and the reader is saying it to Don?

₽Φ₭€ ƒΦ₹ A₮₮€₪₮¡Φ₪

Pairing: Donnie/GN!Reader Rating: Everyone Contents: The reader is implied to be female in request but can be interpreted otherwise, Donnie licks icing off of pop tarts Warnings: None Wordcount: 666

Notes: Hehe, getting back to knocking those requests down! It'll be a while before I even consider reopening requests, though.

What you were doing wasn't particularly new. It had become a routine to lovingly annoy your boyfriend until he had no choice but to turn his attention to you. Because miraculously, the moment he did, he would see you fluttering your lashes and sending him a sickeningly sweet smile dripping with feigned innocence. If it were his brothers, Donnie would be ready to scold them to the point they'd regret even being in the same proximity as him. Yet, because of that victory grin you would flash when you got him to look at you, he couldn't bring himself to do so.

And it was very interesting because you'd always find new ways to grab his attention.

One time, you texted him that you needed assistance at your apartment. Being the helpful lover he is, he came over ready to lend a hand, only to find that you had lied and just wanted to have dinner with him. Although annoyed as his mind was already recalling his list of tasks, he realized how hungry he was and how much he yearned for your touch. So, he ate the home-cooked food you made and then stayed even longer for movies. 

Another time was when he hadn't emerged from his lab for nearly an entire week. While you absolutely respected the effort and dedication he put into his work, you missed him, and he seriously needed to take care of himself. So you sat next to him and started reading. Out loud. Very monotonously. And it was the Bible! "In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth," you began, your voice droning on in a blank tone. "And the earth was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep.”

Donnie didn’t register it at first, but then he looked at you in absolute confusion.

"And God said, 'Let there be light,' and there was light," you continued, not missing a beat.

“What are you doing?” If he had eyebrows, they’d definitely be raised right now. In his confusion, he was trying to fight a smile creeping up.

You looked up from the overly thin pages of the scripture, a mischievous glint in your eyes. “What do you think? I’m reading till you love me again.”

The self-taught scientist rolled his eyes, his annoyed confusion forgotten. “Okay, okay, come here.” Then there was that smile.

This time, you decided to employ the most annoying yet basic tactic to garner his attention: poking him repeatedly. Leo had once again clumsily broken the toaster, and it was out of commission. Donnie wanted to be able to toast his Pop-Tarts before licking the icing off later, so repairing the toaster was an absolute must.

It was hard to do that, though, when you slid in like a worm (he’d still love you as a worm; you’d be beneficial in different ways) and started poking him.

The first few pokes didn’t bother him at first. They were so fleeting and feathery he didn’t really care that you were touching him. They weren’t impeding his work.

But then they got a bit harder. And longer. And it was actually affecting his ability to think since you were choosing to poke random spots.

“I’m not going to stop poking you until you give me some attention.”

Donnie took a deep breath and slowly turned to you. You blinked at him blankly. God, he was so lucky was madly in love and your cute face and pretty lips- Donnie’s eyes closed for a moment. He took another deep breath and released it with a small shake of his head.

“Well, you certainly have it now.”

You did your little weird giggle as if you were some sort of gremlin. “Hehe! What’d the toaster do to Leo this time?”

While he recalled Leo’s version of the grand battle he had against the appliance, Donnie couldn’t help grinning when he saw the same smile you always have. Victory once again.

Tagging: @mrghostings, @whygz, @supershiny-raven Interested in getting tagged? Come check it out!

Like what you read? Check out my masterlist to see if you find anything else!

[a-libra-writes]

can I please request for a Mordecai Heller x female reader? like reader is a showgirl who sings on stage like Mitzi one and tends to attract a lot of attention but backs out when they feel this murdercat plotting their death lmao. thank you 😁

heyo! I decided to do a looot of the cats for this one, since its p similar to my Peaky Blinders Jazz Singer post that I was fond of. GN Reader.

Being a Jazz Singer & Performer!

Rocky - When he was hired and met you for the first time, it was absolutely an "infatuation at first sight" situation. Pros!: He's unfailingly polite and sweet, he seems to play with even more energy when you two share a stage, his grin is very off-putting to creeps who shout up at the stage and harass you. Cons: He can get quite distracted when you two share a stage. Many times Zib has had to pull him back with the rest of the band, because he keeps unintentionally scooting closer to you.

The worst part of the Lackadaisy falling onto hard times is the fact you rarely worked there now - you had to sing at other clubs to make ends meet. One of Rocky's big motivators for getting the club back to its old self is you'd come back! Forever this time! (Probably). Rocky doesn't exactly have the time or money to visit the other clubs you work at, so he wants all of your attention during your infrequent visits to the Lackdaisy.

Freckle - Look, he's a shy kid, and the whole 'sneaking out under cover of night to do bootlegging/torpedo shenanigans' is still new. He doesn't have a lot of experience or frame of reference for what a good club singer is like, but Freckle thinks you've got to be one of the best. You have to be, right? Your voice is wonderful and you look positively celestial under the stage lights - wait, that's weird to think, right? Thank God he didn't say it out loud. ... He didn't, right?

Freckle hasn't the slightest idea of how to approach you, so it's up to Ivy and his cousin to drag him over and attempt conversation. It's... a little pitiable, but he's trying. That said, he's surprisingly outspoken and a little scary if someone tried to mess with you while you performed. You're used to the heckles and catcalls, but it's shocking to see that shy tabby jump up from his seat and raise his voice at them.

Ivy - She liked you from the moment she first saw you perform at the Lackdaisy, and that crush hasn't dulled over the months. She maaaay have kept a few posters that advertised the clubs you sang at, and may or may not have cajoled her way into those clubs so she could watch the show. She could easily sweet talk her way to backstage, too - seems you've got a fan.

When the Lackadaisy goes downhill, it's Ivy who wants to sweet talk you into returning. You'll bring in a crowd! The acoustics are great! Pretty pleeease? Her dad Ivy will pay you and not get in trouble until months later when the family accountant goes over the finances. Obviously she cares about the club's wellbeing, but she also wants to spend time with you! Though she's bold enough to just ask you outright. She's also bold enough to outright shout and fight anyone whose heckling you - throwing a heel is a favorite tactic.

Viktor - You're someone he saw often in the olden days, back when the club could afford to have you perform several times a week rather than once a month. Viktor never cared much for the cacophony the crowd and music made, though he knew objectively you were an excellent performer. Rather than endure the crowd, he'd listen to your voice drift across the caves backstage, rehearsing with the band or just by yourself. It was pleasant to listen to, and he could do so in private, either coming back from a job or about to go on one.

Once things began to fall apart, it's not as though he went around to clubs ... or anywhere, really. So if you stopped performing at the Lackadaisy, you might never see each other again. Choosing to stay (or at least do a few pity gigs) would lead to the surprising sight of the big, morose Slav working behind the bar and watching from there, rather than his previous hideouts. It's a little intense to be under that stare... but not all unpleasant? And given how sparse the crowd is, anyone making trouble and catcalling will get dealt with so promptly, they won't even have time to finish their wolf whistle.

Zib - Well, obviously he's going to be drawn in by an attractive singer. Come on. Zib can be smooth when he wants, chainsmoker-scent and rumpled clothes aside. The band likes to tease him mercilessly about it, but that doesn't stop him from cozying up while you two perform together and shooting his shot backstage after every show. Back when the Lackadaisy was thriving, he could afford to hang out at the other clubs you performed at; nowadays, though, that's not so likely.

Even so, starting up a friendship or even fling wouldn't be difficult. He's attracted to and interested in creative spirits, doubly so if you two had very different taste (so there's more to discuss!) and you got on well with the rest of the band. Late-night debates about this musician or that show over a game of cards and several bottles of wine, either together or with the rest of the boys, and waking up half-dressed and seriously hungover come sunrise. Opportunities for visiting would dwindle as the Lackadaisy's business dried up, though if you stayed on ... No, he wouldn't want that for you. If anything you'd be mentioning to him and the band that there's other places to perform to pay the bills. Well, it'd be food for thought.

Wick - Wick wouldn't call himself a music aficionado, especially what's listened to at these rowdy speakeasies, but he won't deny how hard it was to focus on his business associates when you were on stage. So when he discovered you often performed at his favorite club, it was a pleasant surprise. He really wanted to speak with you at some point, at least compliment the performance, but didn't want to come off as those typical entitled wealthy guys who get too fresh with ""lower"" class performers ... so sometimes you'd find flowers in the dressing room and an anonymous note of appreciation.

He finally gets a conversation when you're a guest at a posh party he's attending, or when you continue to perform at the Lackadaisy in spite of the dwindling crowd. It's a shame your large audience is missing, but at least it's way less awkward for him to strike up conversation when you come to the bar? He probably won't bring up the flowers. Oh god, what if you think that's weird. You probably assumed the flowers were some freak fan. Is he a freak fan? He's not, right? (It will take him like months of dating to finally admit to the flowers thing)

Serafine - A good-looking cat with a nice set of pipes is certainly someone she'd notice, especially if they were a regular performer at the Marigold Room and other places she frequented before that. If it was the former, she'd have plenty of chances to wink when you met eyes, "chancing" across you backstage or just being forward and chatting you up after the show. She certainly isn't shy about expressing her interest, and it could be a fun fling.

You do look adorable swinging your hips and swaying your tail along to the beat, not to mention the different get-ups you have to dress in. Serafine maaaay or may not have wanted to help pick a suit out, or help with make-up, or give you some of her jewelry to wear... It's half marking her territory and half she loves to lounge around your dressing room and be a pest. You'd never kick her out and she knows it. She'll do it in other clubs, too, though you have no idea how she keeps getting past security.

Nico - Like his sister, he has no qualms nor shame about trying to get your attention on stage. Unlike Serafine, though, he'd start doing it immediately and be a general pest after the show. The difference between his attention seeking and the other men's in the audience is he actually has some charisma when you two meet backstage, so you're only slightly inclined to tell him to buzz off. He wasn't much of a music expert, and he still isn't ... But he likes hearing you rehearse and hum to yourself, and it's endearing when he requests songs.

He's pleased when you get gigs at the Marigold Room, as it's easier to hang around before and after the show - and bonus, he gets to be extra aggressive with throwing creeps out to impress you! But if you're performing elsewhere then Nico will stop by. He might be bruised and/or bloody because he just left a job, but don't worry! Sometimes he'll even bring flowers or whatever - though without Serafine knowing, she'd never let him live it down.

Mordecai - He wouldn't approach you any differently from others - he'd still be his usual prickly, anti-social, often awkward self - in fact, he might avoid an avid performer, simply because they often have fans around them or at least people recognizing them. What could get his notice was someone whose real persona is very different from their ostentatious self on stage - more quiet and pensive, perhaps. Like any attempt at friendship, let alone romance, it's slow going with him.

That said, he's the type to admire professionalism in a performance. A well put together outfit, thoughtful musical arrangement (as if he's an expert ...). He wouldn't like a femme presenting singer have to wear skimpy clothes or tolerate a rowdy audience. If there was a questionable manager or creepy fan bothering them, Mordecai can deal with that, at least, not that he'd tell his friend/partner. Mordecai would generally glare down any touchy fans and annoying admirers like a jealous terrier. This amuses Mitzi to no end.

Asa - Simply put, he saw you performing at a ritzy party he was invited to and reached out to your manager so you might perform on a weekly basis at the Marigold Room. Very professional! He'd send flowers with his name to the dressing room afterward, would make sure you're finding everything to your liking and not being bothered by anyone. Requests to continue performing would bypass your manager to being nice, short handwritten notes.

Eventually he'd pay you extra and treat you to a nice dinner afterward, if you were comfortable with it. If you let the older man down, he's not too bothered. He'd continue the friendly business relationship and would still send flowers and so on. He'd rather keep you as a good business associate and continue to enjoy the performances than let his silly feelings get in the way. Alas, he is hopeless at discussions of your music. My guy called a ukelele a tiny guitar.

Wes - He never hung around the Marigold Room after hours - it's his workplace, and not really his vibe - but it's very hard to resist not sitting by for an hour (or three) with a drink while you finish your set. Sometimes you two will meet eyes, or he thinks you are, and he considers dropping backstage to say ... hello? He's an 'employee', so isn't checking up on you a normal thing to do? Make sure you're satisfied with the Marigold Room and all that. Right.

Ironically that's how he's finally able to meet the singer he's been mooning over for months. A drunk patron was getting too cozy on your way out, and Wes happened to be there. His face and ... charming demeanor is good for scaring off upper class wimps. So there's that. He's not so bad, though - clumsy, and prooobably realizes you're out of his league. You get to see more of his earnest side when you two meet outside of the Marigold Room, where his fellow murderous gangsters coworkers aren't watching yalls every move with popcorn in hand.

[inmyheaddd]

hey!! Can you do a Grayson Hawthorne x reader, where the reader’s ex won’t stop bothering her or Eve won’t stop bothering Grayson? Thanks!

i once believed love would be black and white - grayson hawthorne x reader

a/n: hii thank u sm for the request!! 💗 i did the readers ex because i simply cannot and will not have ev* in any of my fics warnings: mild language, ex calls you a ‘bitch’ wc: 1.3k masterlist

you practically skipped to the door after you heard it ring, with a smile on your face as you thought about unboxing the new clothes you had ordered, and giving your routine haul to grayson. 

that same smile faded the second you opened the door. instead of seeing your package, your ex was at the door, with that stupid smug grin on his face.  

your breath caught in your throat. for a second you felt frozen, but you regained your senses quick, slamming the door on his face. 

unfortunately, he was faster, pulling the door back and blocking you from closing it with his foot. “you’re not happy to see me?” he said with a fake pout, tilting his head to the side. 

you gave him the dirtiest look you could muster, not that you had to try very hard for it to appear anyway. “go to hell.” 

he smirked at you, “already have, honey.” he stood a step closer to you, “i know you want me back, don’t be like that.” 

“you should leave, now.” you deadpanned. his tactics were not going to work on you anymore. 

“what, are you forgetting all the good times we had?” he smiled at you, narrowing his eyes, “you need a reminder?” 

you felt like throwing up, he was delusional if he thought you had any good times together. for a split second, his confident demeanor and cocky grin wavered as he looked past you.

then he puffed up his chest, standing taller and pushing his chin out as if he would look more threatening— you almost burst out laughing at the sight.

the reason for his switch became more apparent as you heard a silky, low and controlled voice come from behind you. 

“do we have a problem here?” you turned, to see grayson standing beside you, adjusting his sleeve cuffs before smoothly placing a hand on your lower back. 

the cold, deadly look he gave your ex, and the way his icy eyes looked like they shot to kill,  was something you had never seen coming from him before. 

“and who the fuck is this guy?” he sputtered out, trying to come off as unbothered as he nodded towards grayson.

“somebody who doesn’t make requests twice.” grayson didn’t put any emphasis on any particular words, but they still cut through like a knife. he didn’t make threats, he didn’t have to. 

“now,” he continued. “i believe she asked you to leave.” 

“this isn’t any of your business, pal. this is between me and her.” he chuckled once again, trying to act condescending. “you don’t even know half the history we have.”

grayson used his silence like a weapon, eyeing the shorter man infront of you up and down, before speaking again. 

“i know enough.” 

you had told grayson about your past relationships and confided in him like you had with no one else. 

clearly, your ex didn’t expect you to have, based on the girl you once were when you were with him, but he didn’t know the person you had become now. 

your ex let out a harsh chuckle, his eyes flicking back to yours with that same sneer he used to use so very often at you. “fucking bitch,” he muttered, shaking his head. 

the scoff escaped your lips before you could even think, “excuse me?” you gave him an look of disgust, mixed in sheer shock.

grayson’s hand left your back in an instant, taking a single controlled step towards your ex and you watched as he stepped back almost instantly. 

your gut clenched at the words your ex said, that kind of hurt never fully faded, no matter what. but a sense of relief washed over you as grayson moved towards him — focusing on the love you felt for him, rather than the residual hurt from your ex.

grayson didn’t need to puff up his chest to practically tower over him, jut his chin out to be taken more seriously, or resort to theatrics to prove anything. he just was. 

your ex didn’t say anything as tried to look menacing, but the fear he exuded was palpable in the air.  

“if i see you on my property again, if i ever see you again, i can assure you i wont be as civil as i am being now.” 

your eyes flickered between the two of them as you swallowed, directing a glare full of hatred at your ex. “you need to leave.”

he stayed staring at grayson, who arched an infamous blonde brow up at him and tilted his head. “you heard her.” 

your ex scoffed and shook his head, muttering random words like, “just wait ‘till she comes running back,” as he walked off, and out of your sight.

grayson didn’t spend a second looking at him longer, his attention was immediately all focused on you. 

“are you alright, sweetheart?” he asked you as he closed the door behind you, placing a gentle hand on your shoulder.

you took a deep breath and shook your head, “yeah,” you sighed, “it’s whatever, i’m fine.”

grayson stayed silent, now giving you one of his questioning brow arches. 

you laughed out loud, “alright, yeah, i fucking hate him.” 

grayson smiled at your answer, more so smiling at the fact that you were laughing — able to make light out of the situation. 

“i know. i’m sorry i didn’t do more — i should’ve. i know that with every bone in my body. i should’ve done something.”

“what?” you said, genuinely befuddled that grayson was apologizing. “grayson, you did way more than enough. it’s not your fault he doesn’t know how to take a hint.”

he didn’t say anything as his hand moved down from your shoulder, interlinking his fingers with yours and running circles on the back of your hand. “besides,” you continued, “it was more my parents decision to be with him than it ever was mine.”

grayson’s head tilted to the side slightly, brows slightly knitted before he spoke, “you know, its on the rare occasions like these, where i start to believe, perhaps violence is the answer.” 

your jaw dropped playfully as you let out a laugh, “grayson!” you exclaimed, the empty, hollow feeling in your gut long gone as grayson made you laugh. 

he somehow always knew how to make you feel better, even in the worst situations.

he smiled at the sound of your laughter, and at the sight of your smile. “it’s simply the truth, my love.” 

your laughter faded, a faint smile still on your lips as you hummed before speaking. “can i tell you a little truth of my own then?”

��i’m listening.”

“protectiveness is a really good look on you.” you said, before he wrapped his other arm around your waist and pulled you closer.

his voice was quiter and lower now, “is that so?” he murmured. 

you nodded, feeling a little breathless with your cheeks slightly flushed even when you’ve been with him for ages. “yeah, it is.”

“i’ll keep that in mind, then.” he said as he leaned in towards you and pressed his lips to yours. 

one of his hands moved to lightly hold your jaw, and the other stayed on the small of your back. 

your arms moved to wrap around his neck and you pulled back with a small smile, resting your forehead on his.

“thankyou, grayson. for everything.” you said into the space between you both, your voice barely above a whisper.

his eyes found yours, softening around the edges before talking. “you don’t need to thank me. you shouldn’t thank me.”

you laughed softly before you pressed another kiss to his lips, “i knew you’d say something like that.” 

grayson let out a breath of a laugh, his hand that was on your jaw now moving to your waist as well. “then why’d you bother?”

“because you need to hear it. even if you won’t admit it.”

he shook his head slightly, but there was a gleam in his eyes before he kissed you again, this time slower, as if trying to prove he didn’t need words to respond.

in that moment, you felt like you and grayson were the only two people in the world. 

“just wait ‘till she comes running back,” your ex said earlier.

no fucking chance.

taglist: @x-liv25-jamieswife @wish-i-were-heather @thecircularlibrary @whatsamongus @sweetlikeanangel

@littlemissmentallyunstable @anintellectualintellectual @bewitchingkisses @maybxlle @sheisntyou

@emelia07 @midiosaamor @sweetreveriee

[itshermocrates]

POISON- Ep. 4 Analysis

I have no idea if someone has already done something like this but these two unfortunate souls have been in my mind since I watched the show TWO WEEKS AGO. So I'm gonna share with you this personal analysis of what we saw during the Poison scene in Ep. 4 of Hazbin Hotel.

Again, I don’t know if anyone has already talked about this (I’m not very active on tumblr), but I think that what we see as Angel sings Poison is made not only to tell us how the relationship Angel has with Valentino is but ALSO how it came to be thanks to everything that's happening on screen while he's singing.

Of course the lyrics are also important so I’ll make some reference to those as well, but I’ll focus mainly on what we see. Since I can only add 30 pics in this post this will be a bit difficult but I will try my best.

SOME CONTENT WARNINGS! I'm not sure if this is even necessary but anyways,,, Pychological abuse, abuse, violence, domestic violence, drugs, addiction, sex work, dubius consent, sexual violence, abusive relationship, unhealthy power dynamics, angst, suicidal ideas (hinted), etc.

Now, without further ado, let's begin!

Before the song, Valentino and Angel have a fight in his dressing room. I want to start here because during that fight Angel gets a black eye and we get to see how the walls of his room are filled, not only by security cameras, but also by a lot of eyes that follow Angel wherever he goes inside the room. We will see more of these eyes soon enough.

After that fight Angel sends Charlie back home and we see a bit more of what we could expect from Valentino with his manipulation tactics. The sweet tone and the praise as he embraces Angel from behind, too close and too intimate considering he will be soon forcing him to go back to work.

These are the tricks every abuser uses to manipulate and control the people around them, and it’s what Valentino uses all the time with Angel.

This is the behavior of an abusive boyfriend, a dynamic they have in the present, but once Poison starts, we are presented with their backstory. Now we will get to see how that dynamic is even possible, how these two ended up together and how their relationship started and evolved.

Valentino sits next to the movie director and everyone starts moving to prepare the scene they are about to film. He is the one in control here, the one calling for action again and deciding who does what and when. And just like that we see how Angel's black eye is concealed by makeup, erasing the marks of what had just happened and metaphorically erasing the violence of the relationship he is in now.

Angel closes his eyes in displeasure, focusing on what Valentino wants from him. When he opens his eyes again, his expression is completely different, this Angel without bruises, is not only a version of him from minutes ago, before the fight with Val, or even prior to the abuse… This is the Angel before Valentino.

He walks backwards, as if he was going back in time, moving easily with the playful shamelessness that characterized him back then. When he sings “I’m not above a love to cash in” he was most likely referring to his past as a sex worker or at least, as someone who didn’t mind to sell his affections to get what he needed/wanted. During this time, he would most likely go clubbing every night, since it offered a good way to earn easy money while he had a great time, partying, drinking, consuming…

Angel probably was the type of person who used those who desired him to get whatever he wanted, a game he knew how to play. Even if it could get risky or inconvenient, he was a free soul, he was still in control of what he did or didn't do with all those people, so at the end of the day, he always won. That’s what he believes as he playfully lays back on the setting’s bed again.

That had always been true after all, or at least it was until he came across someone that beated him at his own game. Someone who would take that freedom and control over his own body away from him.

His expression changes again to one of terror when a shadow looms over his body from outside the frame. That’s the silhouette of the men he was previously filming with, but we can also imagine that this figure suddenly changing the way he moves, reacts and feels, was meant to represent Valentino.

After the other actors surround him, and the scene fades to black, we are shown what could have been Angel's previous workplace. A stripclub where he danced for money and probably engaged in sex work in a somewhat safe and controlled environment. Back then he had become popular enough to be "the star" of his own show, and a performer good enough to get a reputation that would eventually reach the ears of one of the most powerful overlords in that district.

Valentino discovered him maybe by chance, or maybe not. Maybe he had heard of Angel Dust and wanted to see for himself if this dancer was as good and pretty as all those people said. And after watching him perform Valentino was the furthest from disappointed, he had enjoyed the show so much that he decided to take a closer look at this Angel Dust’s skills.

He approaches him, maybe as a client, or maybe just as a guy interested in what he had to offer, and although Angel doesn't trust him at first, he ends up entering his game.

He was just another man who wanted to fuck him, one that had enough money to spoil him all he had ever wanted and more. It was quite the opportunity for someone as low in the food chain as him, and Angel had already played with rich men like Valentino before, he knew what he was doing.

So Angel took the bait, and had sex with Valentino. Probably a blowjob in that same club he danced at that served as a test for Valentino.

Now we have a scene with two Valentinos, one that is about to get head from Angel with a video camera on his hand, and another Val standing behind the cameras and lights of what we now know to be another movie set. The first Val we saw, extending his hand before Angel when he finished his performance, was the Val of his past, the one he sucked off the night they met. That was someone Angel thought to be somewhat honest, or, at the very least a man he heavily underestimated.

It's the playful man that winks seductively at him in the set from afar with those red hot eyes he fell for, the same that quickly turns into a different guy with similar clothes (red jacket and white fur) now recording him on set. Someone who quickly became a stranger to Angel, just as he is for us, since we can’t even see his face.

The second Val it's the real one, the one standing next to the movie director watching everything with calculating eyes and a dangerous smile. That's the man who told Angel all those red hot lies he believed to be true, and the one judging with this first meeting if the spider was a worthy investment or not.

Angel proves to be good enough. Valentino likes him, and after that night he starts to actively pursue Angel but he didn’t do that as a simple client. He can tell Angel isn't a common whore, he has talent, charisma and he's been playing this game for long enough to know all the tricks. One can only become so successful in this world knowing how to play their cards well.

It’s obvious then what he has to do to turn Angel into his next movie star. Valentino needs to make him fall in love with him and make him believe that Valentino can love him just as much. This is exactly what he is going to do.

On screen we see how Valentino's sex pollen (he's a moth guys, it has to be sex pollen) starts to fill the scene, and as it expands it engulfs Angel, making us know just how captivated, how absorbed he will end up being.

Note: I know there’s a theory that says that Valentino’s power comes from his saliva or something like that and I haven’t read it or anything, but I do believe the smoke/fog that surrounds him has the same effect as the “sex pollen” trope. Or at least it’s similar.

The red fog expands all over the frame, emphasizing Valentino’s overpowering skills and charisma. When it clears, we see Angel in a different place while he sings the second line of the lyrics “What’s the worst part of this hell, I can only blame myself”.

His expression is one of pure anguish and regret, and he’s saying this while standing in front of Valentino in his apartment. He's talking about how naive he was for believing all of Valentino's lies, to truly believe that what he felt for Angel was love. He blames himself for buying this love story and falling for him so hard it made him very easy to manipulate. He regrets not having seen it before it was too late.

Because when Valentino’s back appears at the left corner of the frame, with an extended hand and smoke-made chains, it’s Angel the one who finally cuts the distance and accepts the chains Val is offering him.

Angel was too blinded by Valentino’s courting, by his sweet words and lovely gestures, but also by the constant push and pull of their dynamic, the flirting, the teases, the seduction. He loved the attention and he loved the sense of control, of power, he could feel when he was with Valentino, an overlord no less, a demon so rich and powerful he could have anyone he could have ever wanted. But Val had chosen him, him of all people.

This brief initial moment represents the regret he feels when he remembers how it all started, when Angel thinks about the beginning of their relationship, a time when everything seemed fine and their sexual chemistry made him lose all sense of reason. Because with Val everything ended up leading him to his bed.

After this short display of regret, we are presented a sequence made to represent the fantasy Angel indulged himself in, an illusion tinted in pink colors and fun costumes. This is the story Valentino had carefully created for him to make him fall in love with him, a story that made the spider feel so good when he was by his side, he could easily excuse any warning sign in his sight.

Because Angel would obviously want to be with Valentino when all he knew about him was his lover persona, a facade that portrayed him as a passionate lover and playful partner, his (soon to be) poison.

They had fun and even when Valentino showed little fragments of his true intentions and personality, Angel was too blinded to notice that he was starting to lose the very game he had considered himself a master of. Valentino and the relationship Angel had with him was addictive, so it didn't matter what happened, Angel always came back. You can think of this as the result of Valentino’s sex pollen, his charisma or a combination of both, depending on what flavor of angst is your favorite.

What we can know for sure, is that they were both performers in their own ways, both players in the game of love, so Angel could have excused and normalized a lot of things he shouldn't have. Knowing their line of work, of course that they could get a bit too intense every now and then, of course things could get a bit out of hand between them, they were just sooo dramatic.

It was that rollercoaster of emotions, the raw intensity of it all what ended up hooking Angel so much. The playfulness that could get a bit dangerous really fast, even if the Valentino he thought he knew would never really hurt him. Right?

A few little details I like about this sequence are the way we get to see Valentino’s home in the background and how the colors of his clothes and body are darker than usual but still lighter in comparison to what we will see in the following scenes, indicating how this was still the “nice” version of Valentino.

In the same way, Angel is playing with the chains bounding his wrists together, not his neck (yet), telling us that he’s playing with fire, quite literally dancing with the idea of being owned by Val, but he is still a free soul. In this moment he was falling hard and quick for Valentino’s lies, but he wasn’t his captive yet.

He’s having fun while being manhandled by Valentino, both physically and emotionally, but he still thinks of it as a game, another part of their sex life and how they naturally work as a couple. It’s exciting, it’s new and Angel loves it.

Not knowing that the longer he stays the more power is giving Val over him. Valentino is starting to show his true colors, in these last frames we can see that his figure is getting darker as Angel is slowly discovering the manipulative side of Val, the controlling and abusive nature he had been hiding from the spider since the beginning.

The push and pull continues as we see their silhouettes dancing, even if in reality this is Valentino pulling from his side of the chain to keep Angel close, to keep him with him.

After the shadows sequence, we get back to the playfulness Angel had shown when he took the chains for himself and started to tease Valentino. Only that this time, Val’s colors are darker and his touch more possessive, more aggressive. He’s groping him and even choking him while Angel sings “I made my choice and every night I’m living like there’s no tomorrow” with a grin, showing us how this was still a game for him.

He made his choice staying with Val because he loved him and he thought he was loved in return, when the moth had been only toying with him from the moment they first saw each other. This is Angel’s greatest regret, the fact that he truly believed Val’s lies, that despite all the warning signs he kept choosing him over and over again.

Choosing to stay, to kneel before Val, to obey him with the promise of a new wave of pleasure, a new high. Just as Valentino wanted him to do as we can see the vicious smile he wears during this entire sequence.

I think the next couple of seconds tells us how, for a while, they were together and Angel was still able to keep his job at the club. He was still allowed to see his friends (his coworkers most likely) and spend time with them, while Valentino made sure to feed all his previous bad habits and addictions, giving him gifts (we know Fat Nuggets was a gift from Val), a lot of money he could spend on a whim and eventually, probably the substances to use as well.

The smile on his face, the smugness of it, makes me think he’s telling his friends about this rich guy that pampers him in every way and treats him like a prince. He has found the ultimate Sugar Daddy, a man that has changed his life forever in the best way possible. Now he can have whatever he wants, party for days without having to worry about not having enough money to eat at the end of the month or a place to stay.

Angel would have used drugs before, maybe occasionally, maybe only at parties, maybe to get the worst bits of his job done, maybe he was already a bit of an addict, but it’s now, when he has the means to consume every night that he definitely becomes one.

Valentino made sure of it.

During this time, Valentino would secure the control he had over Angel, weakening his mind and will by worsening his addiction problem while continuing convincing him of how much he loved him. The parties were incredible, the sex was amazing, and Angel felt on top of the world at every moment. He was “living like there’s no tomorrow” without realizing the higher he raised above the ground, the hardest would be his fall.

And maybe this is just me over analyzing a kinky moment, but after this, after Valentino bites Angel causing him a wince of pain and maybe even making him bleed, everything changes.

They are having sex, far from the flashing lights, they are together as Anthony and Val, as the real person who oftenly hides behind his stage persona. The person who is deeply in love with Valentino, who is vulnerable and allows his lover to hurt him however he wants because he trusts that the pleasure that follows will be worth it.

But after that bite, he’s no longer in bed with Val, he's in the same bed from the very beginning of this music video, surrounded by lights, disoriented and confused… As if he was expecting Valentino to be between his legs and not this stranger.

When he finally comes to his senses and sits, we hear for the first time the line “My story’s gonna end with me dead from your poison”. This was the beginning of the end of their honeymoon phase and the point of no return. Valentino had considered Angel weakened enough to take a step further, and a new part of him is finally uncovered when he carefully introduces Angel to the porn industry. He would do so (probably) while Angel was too intoxicated and definitely too blindly in love to know what he was doing.

Valentino becomes this overwhelming shadow that covers Angel’s body, a silhouette he can’t escape from, and when we are shown what Angel sees, we can no longer see the color of Valentino’s clothes. His colorful persona, his facade of playful lover it’s no longer in place, he has stopped pretending and acting as the good boyfriend the spider had always wanted. Now before Angel there’s only the demon that owns thousands of souls, a vicious drooling smile and sharp red eyes. An overlord to fear and be intimidated by.

The background is filled with filming equipment, and even if Valentino’s body language is meant to appear welcoming, Angel feels terrified. This is not the Valentino he knew, and now he is completely trapped. He can’t refuse now, this is a choice he is being forced to make even if his soul still technically belongs to him.

After being pressured, Angel becomes part of this industry, and although he doesn’t really like it, he still trusts Valentino enough to not run away. The overlord can be scary, but he still believes that he’s safe with him, that if Val is by his side nothing wrong could ever happen to him. And after all, he had done sex work before, right? What difference did it make to fuck strangers for money in front of a camera now?

He’s not comfortable, and every day that intimidating side of Valentino that wasn’t really there before grows darker, fiercer and scarier. Angel had seen the ugliness of Valentino before, as a man, as a possessive boyfriend, as a controlling partner, but never as the powerful demon he truly was. So he still obeys Val and features in a few movies of his choice.

We can see these doubts, Angel’s discomfort and even a bit of his trust in Valentino at the beginning of the next sequence, when they appear on the set of a different movie.

Angel was a performer, he had faked his own pleasure before, he could do it again now, and he could do it while earning way more money. He could do so, because he knew Valentino was there, guiding him, helping him, making sure his lover was safe. He always thought that Val was looking out for him, making sure he was getting the right roles in the right movies, the right contracts, and when he was nervous, Valentino was right by his side to comfort him.

But Valentino had never cared about Angel’s safety. And once Angel started to voice his doubts or show his discomfort, he made sure he couldn’t do it for much longer. The comfort Angel sought for was quickly replaced by something chemical, something that eased his nerves but also left him dazed and disoriented.

It was then that Valentino drugged him, tricked him and made him sign the contract that would leave him with only half a soul inside his chest.

Valentino had fed Angel’s addiction for a long time, adding to the mix not only the illusion of a love story, but also his own drug, his sex pollen, something that numbed the spider’s mind enough to go through all the things Valentino wanted him to do in front of the camera. Oftenly Angel was left too intoxicated to respond, too vulnerable and weak. In his last moments of lucidity he always could see Valentino, his lover, the man he thought would always take care of him, turning his back to him and leave him.

Valentino is the last thing he sees before everything fades to black around him, before he disappears. He’s no longer Anthony or Angel Dust, the stage persona, now the lines between those two different identities blurry beyond repair, and the person he becomes is a little more Angel Dust and a lot less Anthony.

I don’t think that it was just a coincidence that they used a BDSM scene to represent the moment Angel definitely lost control of his actions, his body and most likely also his soul. BDSM is all about power dynamics and the control that’s exchanged between consenting partners, only that, in this case, Angel didn’t really have a choice and there was no consent. This lack of control and safety is emphasized precisely by the type of session Angel is forced into.

He’s restrained in every way possible, he’s tied up, a blindfold covers his eyes and a gag is forced onto his mouth, one that would prevent him from closing it no matter how much he tried. He has no way to end the scene, no way to say a safeword, to complain or to stop what other people do with him or to him.

This is meant to represent the moment he signed the contract, and how he felt every time he entered the set of a new movie after he signed it. He stopped being his own person, he had disappeared, and what had been left of him was nothing but a sex toy for Valentino to control in each of his productions.

Now we see the Angel Dust that survived this state of numbness and dissociation, the one that has consumed Anthony just so he could keep himself alive.

While Angel Dust dances, seemingly enjoying the show, performing as he has always done, in the background screens we see what’s left of Anthony, of the boy feeling trapped and used with no single way out of it. This is accompanied by more fragments of that BDSM scene that changed it all, since that was a traumatic event that repeats itself in Angel’s mind every time Valentino forces him into a new role, a new movie, a new lie.

These frames show us not only the stress Angel is feeling, but also how Valentino is always there to exploit his body in the way he deems more profitable. We know this because he appears in between Angel’s anguish, but also because the same eyes that covered his dressing room walls are in the background while someone fucks Angel from behind.

While this happens we hear again “I made my choice”, a reminder of Angel’s regrets, shame and guilt. In addition the line “Every night I’m living like there’s no tomorrow” now has slightly changed, indicating the shift in Angel’s life and condition as no longer a free soul. What we hear now is  “Every night I’m wasted like there’s no tomorrow”.

Where once he was happy, he’s now desperate, begging to get a way out.

We see a bit more of the playful performer, Angel Dust, and the pain of Anthony in the background before Valentino approaches him again like a great imposing figure, putting an end to his show.

The second Angel notices Valentino, distress becomes clear all over his face. He points to the left, outside of what we can see, and when he tries to escape, Valentino grabs him and pulls him closer.

He has finally come face to face with the real Valentino in all his twisted glory and he wants to run away. He knows now that what they had wasn’t love, it had never been, and it’s painful. But he’s afraid of Valentino, he can’t do anything to escape his contract and he now belongs to him (at least while they’re on set).

That last frame with Valentino embracing him, a vicious smile on his face in contrast with Angel’s terrified expression puts an end to their story, to the narration of how they came to be what they are now. After that, we are presented to the aftermath, the Angel that’s no longer intoxicated by his poison and can only dread the many past choices he would like to change.

He is now fully aware that there’s no way out of his hell, that for as long as he is alive he will be Valentino’s toy. He’s destroyed in every way, his mind is a mess too dependent on the drugs Valentino has been feeding him to properly think, and his body has stopped to feel as his own a long time ago.

How could he consider that pile of bones, fur and chemically loosen up muscles as his own? He’s disgusted, drowning in this feeling of helplessness.

And he’s even more grossed out when he notices the remains of Valentino’s poison, his drug, still lingering on his tongue. He’s so lost, he doesn’t even recognize himself. This is not where he was supposed to be, he shouldn’t be in Valentino’s apartment, he doesn’t want to be there anymore.

The substance that once had brought him so much joy, such a delicious bliss, now slips past his lips burning his skin like acid. The itch reminds him of the reason why he’s there, and he can only feel pain. The only cause for most of his problems had always been his addiction. To Val, the sex they had, his poison, the drugs he bought for him…

No matter how hard he tries to get used to this life he has with Val now, he simply can’t do it. It doesn’t matter how many movies he appears in, they are never enough, they will never be enough for the overlord. Because he’s nothing but a tool to make Valentino and the other Vs even richer and more powerful.

That’s Valentino’s business and what initially made him get close to Vox. They complimented each other and together they felt capable of ruling Hell like that was their birthright. A power Angel would never get to know firsthand, because for Valentino he was nothing but another whore to use, exploit and eventually discard.

Angel is sick of it, is tired of living a life he hates, a lonely life full of pain and abuse, all caused by the person he loved the most.

He has spent years trapped in the V Tower, watched by the countless cameras placed in every wall and every corner of his prison. Even when he’s not on set, controlled by Valentino and his team, he feels Vox lenses following all of his movements, and despite the luxury he lives in, every day he goes to sleep wishing to never wake up.

That's all, folks. I hope you liked it, or at least got as sad as I felt while analyzing this. Again this is all what I could understand from that segment of the episode I don't know if y'all already knew this but I did wanted to share it. If you liked this check my bird app account bc there is where I spend most of my online time or my Ao3 profile, although I post mostly Skfs content now <3

[swamp-chicken]

wl ficlet episode 3, 596 words

After a certain amount of time, words stop to have meaning. Bdubs guesses it’s that time, because nothing he says seems to matter and nobody seems to care. He’s in an alliance, but they’re not an alliance. He’s with Etho, but Etho isn’t with him.

Words are all Bdubs has these days. He used to think actions were enough, but that idea died a few worlds ago. What does it mean when he saves one person and kills another? He thought that it made him loyal, a stalwart companion. But then people started saying he was scared instead.

What does it mean when he does everything for the people he loves, but he only gets mistrust in return? What does it mean when he wastes blood, sweat, and tears on them and they turn on him in the end?

All that’s left are words. So when Bdubs wakes up, peering up at a clear blue sky that should be a ceiling, it’s obvious to him what he has to do to make things right. So maybe things had been tense. So maybe Tango and Etho had preferred to work a little separately from him. So what? It wasn’t something he couldn’t fix. A few well-placed words and they’d all be back like buddies again, the crimes of the past forgiven.

There’s a spring in Bdubs’ step when the session starts, when he gathers up with Tango and Etho to start strategizing. He doesn’t dilly-dally before cutting to the chase.

“I am going to start with an apology session.”

Etho and Tango exchange skeptical glances but Bdubs is undeterred. They may be skeptical now, but just wait.

Bdubs knows how to make his voice quiet and sincere. He knows how to make his gaze soft and imploring. “Tango,” he starts. “I’m sorry for stabbing you in the back when we were on BEST team.”

Bdubs waits, brimming with eagerness. Once Tango forgives him, they can start building trust again. They can be an alliance. And then Etho will want to stand with them, of course. Following along, just like the old days.

But—Tango’s blinking at him, no warmth in his gaze. And then Etho speaks. “A couple years late, isn’t it?”

Bdubs doesn’t feel very springy anymore. “This is genuine.” The words barely come out from behind his clenched teeth.

Etho is watching his reaction with a twist of amusement. “Why today out of all days?”

Sitting on Etho’s horse, Bdubs had thought they’d worked this all out. He thought he had uncovered the root of the issue, had talked everything through. Words! Leaping out of Bdubs’ mouth and into Etho’s ears. But something was still festering.

Bdubs can fix it. “And I apologize to you, Etho, for getting the best horse in Minecraft.” Words, tumbling out of his mouth too hasty. There’s no time to imbue them with sincerity, to warm up his imploring gaze.

Two disbelieving stares are turned against him. Bdubs feels backed into a corner, his hackles are up. “And I’ve been doing some self-reflecting and I hate myself!”

Words so strong that they can’t refuse him, that they can’t doubt his sincerity.

Etho turns to Tango. “You think this is a manipulation tactic?”

“I do,” Tango sighs. “I’m already on to his play here.”

Etho laughs. “This guy— this guy doesn’t feel any remorse!”

There's an ache in the back of Bdubs' throat. He swallows it down, indignant. After a certain amount of time, words stop to have meaning. Nothing Bdubs does matters, and nobody seems to care.

“You’re right, I don’t feel any remorse!” Bdubs smirks. "I can't believe you guys saw through that so fast." They’re laughing. He can laugh too.

[thenightisland]

in various conversations with my doctor about the insane life changing effect adhd meds have had on me one of the things he said was that it's not uncommon for people who have dysthymia/pervasive depressive disorder to have undiagnosed adhd at the root of the problem. and i think we forget that like. major depressive disorder is supposed to be something that eventually stops. it's episodic. like even people with depression very often are not in a state where it's just like. every day is a misery virtually nonstop for 15+ years. but with dysthymia/pdd it very much so is. which you can have pdd and mdd both at the same time too which is evil but anyway. it is wild enough conceptualizing that there is in fact a difference between the two things bc i very much so got depressed around age ten and just. never stopped. and when you live like that for the bulk of your life you just sort of get used to it? like it sucks but you just assume a degree of that is normal. so even on several antidepressants i never once aimed for "not depressed" i was always aiming for "mildly less miserable" i had just accepted that i would always be a degree of miserable and that my default was going to be feeling bad and if i was very lucky there might be a few days where i felt a little less bad now and then. the goal was "bearable misery" which is nuts to type out like wow! bleak!

anyway something i noticed when they started me on the adhd meds was that all the Racket in my head just. stopped. for weeks i just said to people "it's so quiet in there" because i didn't have dozens of loud competing fast thoughts all the time. and it took a while to pin down why this effect made me less depressed and worked better than literally any antidepressant had. and it's bc it /stopped thoughts/ and when i was depressed the Thoughts did not stop and they were not pleasant ones so i'd get stuck in these awful mental doom spirals and nothing i did would make it stop. and then this medicine made it stop. and it turns out it's much easier to not be sad when your brain doesn't have the Sad Channel turned up to high volume and is forcing you to deal with it clockwork-orange style. bc historically it was like oh god do we really have to do this again do we have to listen to the you will always be alone and unloved and nothing you do will ever be enough and your life will never be fulfilling in any way spiral again?? do we really have to i'm so tired. but now that channel is muted. a lot of channels have been muted. no amount of cbt/dbt techniques or various other therapy tactics had ever managed to mute those channels before.

and it's just insane it's like the thing about how stunned people with chronic pain are to learn that the normal amount of pain for someone to experience on an average day is none. it's just that but emotionally. bc even with the challenges i still have for autism reasons, most days now i'm fine. the emotional pain is zero on an average day. i now understand what people mean when they say "i'm having a bad day" bc there's a difference. but you see. all my days used to be bad. all of them. even the "good" days involved a degree of visceral emotional suffering and dread. and you don't realize how pervasive the bad is until the bad is the exception and not just an ordinary day.

i do not sit around consumed by the same thought patterns and doom spirals and mental quicksand now i'm just going about my day like an ordinary person and it's amazing how much less life /hurts/ and that's the only way i can think to put it is that every day used to hurt and it doesn't hurt now. past-me was incapable of conceptualizing a life where my baseline wasn't "profoundly and painfully sad and aching at all times" i was 100% prepared to just live like that forever!!!! and now if i have a bad day that's all it is an outlier i thought people in movies were just doing a bit when they had a "bad day" and the solution was just have a big piece of cake and cry a little and go to bed early and you'll feel better tomorrow bc i never felt better tomorrow! now i just feel better tomorrow if i have a bad day! most days the emotional pain scale is a 0/10.

like this is so long already but those of you who have been around for a long time you know how nuts this is for me. and i'm a firm believer in everything happens for a reason even bad things and for a few years i've been like huh wonder what the reason is for the whole getting beaten in the head thing though. well. it exacerbated the working memory issues. and it got on my goddamn nerves. so i asked to try this medicine so i could remember to get my soup out of the microwave. and then it fixed all the problems that have plagued me since i was a small child. and now i'm able to conceptualize a day to day life that isn't just Hurting all the time when i once thought i would never do anything but hurt.

[cupcakeslushie]

i love that you said each of the bois have unspoken themes to them, that makes characters so much more deeper and interesting.

if you wouldn’t mind can you say what unspoken themes Leo, Mikey, and Raph have?

some are more obvious than others, and while i have a decent idea of what they are, i want to hear them coming from you ✨

adore your work btw, your storytelling and style enraptures me

This might be a big post just so I have everyone all in one place im going to reiterate what I said for Donnie

@aduckmurder

Donnie: Identity/Depersonalization

When Donnie's first introduced Draxum doesn't even consider him a person, and hadn't even given him a name. And then, later Donnie's got too many names to choose from. That alone would cause someone to have an identity crisis. Personality wise, he enjoys making tech, but aside from that, Donnie is never sure of which emotions he should be feeling, or what his likes and dislikes are. A lot of the time he's mirroring how his brothers are emoting, or he's just smiling to cover up the fact that he doesn't know or trust his own feelings. Future Donnie will have a horrible time with depersonalization after merging with the Technodrome and the Kraang, which will cycle around to impact present timeline Donnie during the movie.

Mikey: Worth

While Donnie was treated like nothing, Mikey was treated like an object/accessory by Big Mama. When she threw him into the Nexus, Mikey imagined it was something he did or didn't do well enough to meet her high standards. After he's reunited with Splinter and Raph, Mikey finds the little roles that neither of them have filled very well, such as cooking, and cleaning, and makes sure he excels at them almost obsessively out of this fear that if he's not useful, then he will be discarded. Future Mikey works tirelessly as the only brother with his mystic powers still intact, to the point that his body is so overworked by the time of the movie, he looks like he's moments from shattering apart, only held together through his own force of will.

Leo: Doubt

Leo has lived his life being ordered around and having his memories and personality altered. Even once he is free, his emotions are almost as erratic without Kitsune's influence, than they were while he was under her control (at least until his own cleansing ritual). His instinctual gut reaction to use most violent tactic first, clearly makes his family uneasy. So when Raph tries to get Leo to act as co-leader, Leo is very hesitant. He doesn't think he should be trusted with such a responsibility, but learns he can trust if he goes too far, his brothers will stop him. Future Leo has a really hard time with raising Casey. After Raph's gone, Leo doesn't trust any of the decisions he's now having to make solo, and he certainly doesn't think he can be a guiding force for good for a young child. Casey needs a teacher who will shape him into a strong warrior. Leo learns as Casey grows, that being the boy's Sensei is not the same as being his Master.

Raph: Regret/Guilt

Raph blames himself for almost every horrible thing his brothers and father have gone through. He's recounted the night that Leo and Mikey were taken, and gone over it a thousand times in his head, trying to work out how it could've gone differently. All the amazing things he's done by bringing his family together--being the stable bedrock that they can grow into a true family under--none of that feels like it'll ever make up for the times in the past where he failed to protect them. Raph takes on the job of shield because he wants to make sure nothing else ever hurts his brothers again, and doesn't care if hurts him instead. Future Raph is constantly putting his brothers' lives before his own. Unfortunately, doing it one too many times results in a devastating loss for the Resistance, when their Leader sacrifices himself, and the chain of command practically falls apart for months before it can recover.

[volturiprincess]

You Kill Me (Pt 2.)

Caius Volturi x vamp female reader

Summary: The confrontation after part one. Warnings: Angst, foul language, mentions of sexual harassment, Caius' sinister side peeks (I think thats all?) A/N: FINALLY! Man it took a while but I mean I got writer's block with this one. I really wanted to dive a bit deep with this and I added a couple back and forth POV between reader and Caius (I almost added a Marcus POV but I changed my mind). Thank you to everyone who has been patient with this one-shot, I hope I did not disappoint. But as always...Enjoy💙 Word Count: 6k+ (My longest one so far)

(Here's Part 1)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(This. Was. His. Era. Again Jamie did him justice🥰)

Recap….

We stood in silence, I wanted to say something but I didn't know what exactly. I must have been too deep in thought because when I looked up he was gone…..

Oh gosh. What have I done? Why didn't I just say something to him, anything really could have worked at that moment and maybe I would not of hurted him. I never wanted to hurt him in anyway, he’s my mate for fucks sake. Even if I'm still getting used to the idea of having him as my mate, or just being around vampire civilization again, I would never want to harm him. When I pushed him away the hurt his eyes reflected, hit me.

Why am I being so difficult with him? You would think finding your mate just clicks for one and everything in your life finally makes sense, you get a sense of being even but no I decided to just make this once in lifetime experience so complicated. I have been in communication with Carlisle of course via letters, and when I tell him about me and Caius, I can already picture him shaking his head in disappointment each time he reads my letters. He understands why I'm being like this but he finds it totallyunnecessary for me to act like this toward my own mate, he keeps telling me you only get one in this lifetime. 

I decided to head outside to the gardens, where I usually spend my alone time until I see Marcus there. It seems he was expecting me. 

“Hello Marcus, fancy seeing you here”

“I would say the same thing but we have matters to discuss, dear”

I guess Caius got to him already, even if Marcus never shows any sort of emotions, right now he's giving me the same look Carlisle would give me when I did something absurd. He motions for me to sit with him, which I join him instantly.

“I am already going to assume you know what I'm about to say?”

“I have a hunch of an idea”

I couldn't look at him because the look he's giving me was pure disappointment, I felt like a child being scolded by their parents. I know that feeling all too familiar, I was the ‘wild card' apparently compared to my brother when we were younger, father had a knack to always scold me even when it's something as little as forgetting to put away a cup. Carlisle had it easier compared to me, I was molded to be this lady that society would approve of, I was designed to be the perfect wife according to my father. Mother would have never wanted me to be raised like this, she was the one who encouraged me to read, she was even the one who taught me how until she passed away when me and Carlisle were 5. 

“Let’s start this off simple, how are you feeling?”

That is a very good question, how the fuck do I feel? Sure I feel confused, that's all I have been feeling since I found out about being mated to Caius but I mean I feel disgusted. I feel disgusted with myself, I heard stories over the years that the Volturi were supposedly these power hungry coven who are just ruthless but now I feel like I'm the true villain here. What kind of sick person– err vampire in this case– turns their back on someone who has been nothing but loving and patient with them? Caius, even if he has  been interesting with his tactics of showing affection, has only been patient with me, and how do I return the favor? I push him away and basically stomp on his heart.

“Terrible”

“Elaborate on that”

I really do feel like a kid currently.

“I feel terrible because I broke Caius heart” 

“And how?”

And now I feel like I'm in a therapy session.

“For months I turn away from our mate bond and refuse to give in, he does not deserve that, actually screw that he does not deserve a mate who just shuts him away for no reason”

“Oh but there is a reason to your uncalled behavior”

“Isn't there always a reason for everything?”

“Yes, which is why I'm asking you why are you being like this?”

“I dont know”

Of course I know why, I'm scared to give into the bond, what if I’m not good enough for him. What if I fuck up or something and he decides I'm not worth, that I'm not worthy in being his mate. I know you can't pick who your mate is or anything but he could do so much better than me, a person worthy enough to be his queen. Other than the fear, I'm angry. I've been forced to be here forever and don't even have the chance to see my brother. I miss him, he was all I had left of my family and now I have to be away from him. And my past trauma is always lingering.

“I doubt that”

“Marcus, no disrespect to you, but why are you invested in me and Caius? I know he's your brother and all but…why?”

I saw him look off to the distance, almost like I do on a daily basis when I'm reflecting on thoughts or events throughout the day. But I could see his expression change, instead of the disappointed look he had not that long ago, he looked gloomy which was his usual expression before I started to talk to him. 

“I told you about my…” I saw him take an unnecessary gulp ”late wife…Didyme,right?”

“Yes you did, she sounded like a lovely being, I would of loved to of meet her”

“She was, I mean she is. What i'm trying to say is I don't want to you or Caius to end up like me, I have had my brother in my life for so long and to see him finally find his mate, makes me surprisingly happy, I might not show it but internally I have a bit of peace”

Oh the guilt I have right now is no joke, the way he is speaking makes me worry more about the situation I created with his soul brother. The day he told me about Didyme was when I healed her favorite flower, he only told me a bit about her, her personality, features, how her smile could brighten any room, how with just a touch his worries and sadness would be like if it never existed. He truly loved her and the way he is barely going through life does make me sympathize for him big time. I actually make sure to check up on him at least once a day, from just asking him about the latest book he has read to just asking him to oversee my work in the garden, it's not much but I can see a bit of change in his eyes. 

“But I also do not want to see you suffer, I don't know what you are trying to accomplish with this behavior but you have become an important person to me. I view you as a sister I never had, makes me a bit envious of Carlisle since he has the honor to call you his actual sister.”

“Marcus I don't know what to say, I'll be honest with you but I view you as my brother as well, I see a bit of Carlisle in you”

“We are getting off topic but I appreciate your honesty dear, the point of this conversation is to come to your senses and accept Caius as your mate, I can see your bond with him weaken, you are doing nothing to nurture it, he was kind of trying but not in an effective way, in a way you two are acting like children, now if you will excuse me, I have matters to attend to”

He took off before I could even close my mouth at his revelation. He does make a point, I need to stop this ridiculous behavior I've been having and be willing to accept Caius as a mate. 

Caius POV

Humiliated. Disappointed. Defeated. Embarrassed. Furious. And Shameful. Who does she think she is? Was it perhaps my fault for pushing her and just throwing myself at her with that kiss? What was I thinking in doing such an action on her? I would never act like that or think to do it, I am a gentleman, I might not show it but I have never had no intentions to be this way. I still blame her. She is the one who has made me a whole different being. My brother has told me once you find your mate, everything just clicks, they are your equal side and they supposedly make you a better person. He’s wrong, since the minute I saw her I knew she would be trouble, I knew she would not be the right fit for me. 

How could she push me away like I was not worth anything. I have feelings. Wait? Do I? I never understood the purpose of expressing feelings. We feed on humans, I have no sympathy for them only that they keep my thirst down. But when I saw her, I felt the world stop, my main focus was on her and only her, not only because of her beauty but the aura she gave. I for once felt my unbeaten heart beat, I felt like I was suffocating from her scent, but at the same time I felt at ease. I still do not understand her purpose of being difficult with me, if I didn't spend our longest time together arguing with her I would've gotten answers to my questions.  

Maybe it is my fault as well, I have not been there for her. Marcus advised me to spend time with her to actually get to know her. He also warned me that I should be easy with her, she will never be able to see her family unless they come here. But what do I do instead? I basically seduced her with my charm and thought that would be enough to seal the bond. What an idiot I can be, but at the same time I at least tried to give into the bond, unlike her. She would just turn away from me and act like I was some low life, like a pest in a common sense. Who gave her the right to treat me in such a way? Maybe her brother was the one who influenced her to be this way with me? I knew that vegetarian vampire had it out for me, it only makes sense since he left, he probably knew she was my mate this whole time. 

She's such a child to top it off. Running away from a bond that is grander than any bond to existence, and yet she turns away from it like a coward. Just like her brother, always going on and off from having mortals or not. In the time she has been here, she is still not drinking human blood. I thought by now she would have converted to our diet but it would seem I was wrong. Another thing to add to my list of changes; being wrong. I have always been right and if someone goes against me then they will end up being sorry. She’s changing me more than I care to ever want.

Y/N POV

It's been a month since I last saw him, even before I would at least catch glimpses of him or he would approach me. He’s nowhere, I even asked some of the guards if they have seen him but I was met with disappointment. Not even Aro or Marcus have been any help, well I haven't actually talked to Aro yet, he still creeps me out. My mind has been rehearsing over and over in what I will say to Caius, it's all I can really think of.  And to think it's only a month, it has felt like an eternity, considering I have been around for a while now, it cannot compare to this month alone. I think I am finally losing it, I believe I am going mental now. The way my mind is being filled with endless thoughts and worries is really pushing me into a not so pretty mindset. I want to cry but I know I am unable to, I want to scream but what will that solve? I want to run away but Demetri would just track me down in an instant. I want to drown myself in books to at least distract my mind but I know whatever I read it would only be twisted and I would be thrown back to thinking about him. 

I even stopped  hunting, I haven't had not one ounce of blood since the last day I saw him. Why do I deserve to satisfy my thirst when I hurt my mate? Oh my mate, how much I am longing to be in his arms right now, telling him how sorry I am. To tell him what an idiot I have been this past half year, to tell him my fears of not being worthy of him, to tell him it's me and not him no matter how foolish that sounds. It's the truth there is nothing wrong with him, not even his anger issues bother me, on the contrary I love how he is not afraid to show his intense emotions out. Oh? I said the L word, well it's no issue to me because I think I do love him. How fucked up is that really? It took for him to stop coming up to me to finally realize I do have love for him.

I have been spending this whole month, when I was not looking for Caius, pacing in my room growing more and more mad. Not the emotion mad but like mentally losing it. But I think I am also mad, I mean I am trying to make it up to him but he won't even give me a chance. It's frustrating really. Oh no. Is this how Caius was when he was trying to seal the bond but I just turned away from him? Now I am really feeling the pain and guilt, this torment is just so painful for anyone to face. I made him go through this, I really am a monster.

I fell to my knees in defeat as I buried my face into my hands, the venom started to fill my eyes. All my walls started to crash down on me and I could feel myself almost physically hyperventilate as I was trying to remember to calm myself. I felt my old human self creep up. In my human years I would have my breakdowns after each lecture my father would give me. His talks about me being the ideal respectful woman would get to me too much.

His preaching never got easier, he even would force me to attend his social gatherings with other men so I could be viewed as an available choice as a wife. When my dad was not having an eye on me, those men would stare at me shamelessly, it made me feel gross and caused me to have a desire to be alone. Another reason why I avoided any type of civilization when me and Carlisle went our separate ways. 

Maybe that’s another reason why I was also being harsh toward Caius, I feared he was going to be like those men. It didn't  help his case to be proven wrong when he kissed me or the way he seduced me endless times. I need to talk to him. 

Caius POV

I feel foolish avoiding my own problems. I tend to get to the bottom of things but in this case it's different. How can I solve this? Wouldn’t it make sense for her to come up to me and apologize for her childish acts? The way she wouldn't even look me in the eye when I talked to her? Or how she would respond to me with a snarky remark? Gosh I think I love her attitude, even if she did hurt my feelings by rejecting me, I think I fell for her more each time I would approach her. But when she pushed me away, I noticed her attitude was true. Why would she want to be with a vampire who has the title of the ‘ruthless one’ out of the three? I never cared for what others think about me but with her, everything suddenly mattered. I wanted her to accept me for me.

My reputation means everything to me, I am the one who does not show mercy and I am the one to not give second chances. As for her, I would give her endless chances if it means she gets to be mine, only she can get her way with me. I would not let anyone know how her rejection has hit me, I would rather let my anger take over me to let others know she has no effect on me. Why is loving someone so hard? Love for me was always something I viewed as a weakness, look at me for merlin sake, I feel like being locked up in a room and refusing to be out and about. 

It is what I have been doing this past month, I been in my art room staring at a blank canvas. My muse, my inspiration, and my desire to create a masterpiece has left me. Before her I would decorate my walls with weekly original art from whatever came to my mind. And yet when she turned away, my yearning vanished like I drop my helpless dead meal fall to the ground after I drained them. 

A while ago I was painting her, I happened to decide to work outside on a little platform reserved for me only and I happened to spot her in the gardens. I never revealed myself to her but I had a perfect view of her staring off into the distance, the right lighting was even hitting her and the scenery around her was every artist's dream come true. 

I only got to sketch the background because I wanted to spend more time on just her. How she was posing unaware of my eyes on her, how her lips were slightly parted, how the wind picked up her hair slightly after each breeze. How her eyes held so much emotion while her other facial features stayed relaxed. She was and still is breathtaking to me. I could spend hours drawing different sketches of her if she were to let me, I even got an idea of a new statue to add in the gardens, it would be of her.

She’s like a reincarnation of Aphrodite, no I am mistaken she is more bewitching than the goddess herself. How have I gone a millennium's without witnessing such beauty in my life? I need her, she’s my missing muse. 

Y/N POV

When I was finally mentally composed enough I walked down one of the many hallways to head to the throne room. I have a feeling he might be there, I don't know where else he could be and nobody has told me about his whereabouts. I arrive hoping to see him there but only Marcus and Aro along with some of the guards who are within the shadows are there. I want to yell at them but I compose myself. 

“Aro, Marcus, where is he?”

Aro who as always tends to act unaware of things unless it is of interest to him decides to mess with me.

“Where’s who?”

“Look I have kept my patience for a while, but if you dare to test me today I will gladly knock you out again but this time it will be a month”

The hidden guards stepped out from the shadows after my little threat, already recognizing them I knew I could take them down. I was lucky that Jane and Alec were not around because my chances of winning would be low. 

“Why should we tell you where he is? Haven't you hurted him enough? I seen his thoughts I know the suffering you have put him through since your arrival”

I wanted to rip his head off so bad. How dare he meddle into mine and Caius' life? Soul brother or not, what me and Caius go through is our own business. I know he makes some sense about the suffering and pain but I have gone through my own pain also. Marcus settled a hand on Aro shoulder before I could think about attacking him

“Aro it is not our business to intercept into our brother and his mate's issues, my dear y/n he is in his art studio. Felix? Demetri? Would you mind taking her to his studio?”

They were both by my side and led me away. Good thing these two were taking me away, they are the only ones who would manage to stop me from attacking. It was a quick sprint and they nodded toward two large mahogany doors, it looked like it was indeed doors to an art room. It also seemed handcrafted, I had never seen such gorgeous details on a door before. I opened the door slowly to do a small peek into the room to see if he was there. He was there on a stool with a loose button up shirt that was open at the throat and he had some casual black slacks. His hair was a bit messy even and yet he was the most striking being I have ever seen in my lifetime. 

His gaze snapped at me as I was closing the door, his irises were matching his pupil from his lack of feeding. His eyes also matched mine, since I was also pushing away the need to feed. He watched my every move like a cat watches a mouse before pouncing on it.

“What do you want?”

“I-I I want to talk to you”

“Is that so? Took you a month to come to some senses did it?”

Well that hurt, I already knew he was going to be a bit sharp with his words yet that line hit me a bit hard.

Maybe this was a bad idea, maybe I still need time to be able to calmly talk to him. No, no keep yourself together y/n, I need to do this for not only my sake but for Caius.

“Well go on with it, I don't have all day”

“Look if you are going to start having an attitude with me then maybe we need to wait another day then to talk”

“I am not with attitude, I am just trying to get to the point, I don't like to dance around issues”

I took an unnecessary gulp like Carlisle would do when he would break bad news to me.

“I love you”

The pencil he had his hand fell to the ground and that was the only noise that was heard after my words. 

“I know you're probably thinking, how cruel can I be to say that after everything that has happened between us but it's the truth. It's always had love for you within me but I was scared to open that door, you see I wish we could turn back time and I could explain to you everything that has been going through my mind before that fateful day. I wanted to tell you something but you left before I could and-”

“Then explain to me why you have acted like a child”

His voice lost its sharpness, instead it was soft, the same softness his eyes reflected currently. I wanted to melt on the spot by how sweet he looked.

“Before I was turned, my father would display me like some doll to show others of my availability as a wife, when he was not looking the men he was presenting me to would basically undress me with there eyes, some of them would be brave enough and leave lingering touches on me after I would shake their hands, the only males in my life I trusted after that was Carlisle, even in my time when we were apart I was never near civilization, I feared for the day I would have to be around others.” He stood up from his stool but he stayed at a distance from me still.

“When I saw you I thought it was time to heal completely from my trauma, but with the way you would approach me it gave me slight flashbacks from the past, and it made me recoil from you a bit, but at the same time I wanted to be by your side. What didn't even help my case was I had a fear of not being enough for you. How can a vampire like me who has such fears be worthy of a king like you? You deserve someone who doesn't still feel an ick when she’s around others for too long. I felt if we were to talk sooner then we wouldn't be in this position but no you just did a quick and go, made me feel unworthy of your time even”

I wanted to say more but I decided to give Caius a space to talk also, I wrapped my arms around myself for comfort and looked away from him. I feel exposed and anxious just standing here in silence, waiting for him to say something. Please say something already.

“I was not expecting you to even start this with those words”

I knew it was strange to say that but I mean I wanted to reassure him I do have feelings for him.

“I think you make a great point in we should of had a civil conversation at the start of this to avoid our current issues, I-I apologize for my behavior, it was uncalled for and inappropriate of me to try to nurture our bond by seducing you in such a way, you should of been treated like a queen with respect and love. But you are wrong of not deserving me, on the contrary I feel like it's the opposite, you deserve someone better than me, after all the shit I put you through without knowing what you been through, Marcus advised me to be there for you and yet I was hardly there”

I felt my eyes fill with venom again but I was still not looking at him so he was not aware of how I was reacting to his declaration. 

“But at the same time I thought it was a bit foolish of you to try to back away from me, you should know from now on that when it comes to you, you can tell me whatever you want, no matter how harsh or straight forward your words might get, I can take it, you are my mate after all. I never want you to feel uncomfortable around me or feel the need to distance yourself from me either because I cannot bare being separated from you, incase you haven’t noticed I haven't been feeding lately either, much like I can see from your once glowing amber eyes that I manage to fall for, but back on topic we can work on your healing process together, no matter how long it takes we do have forever after all”

I looked up at him finally to be met with eyes filled with venom too. Not really having control over my mind or body I ran to him to pull him into a deep hug. His arms not thinking twice wrapped around me like if it were second nature to him. At that moment it felt as if our issues never existed and we were happy once again, so this is how Marcus felt with Didyme, now I understand why he was so worried for us. I would rather kill every being who dared to harm Caius in any way, than to see him suffer anymore than he needs. We fit perfectly into each other, it felt like we were molded into one another, it felt like home. I'm finally home in the arms of a man I can trust and…love. 

I looked up at him and gave his cheek a kiss. I was going to kiss his lips but decided to pull a Caius in this situation with a simple “Com tempo”. He smiled lazily at me at the sudden realization that I used the same two words he said to me a while back. 

“I'm willing to go into this bond fully, no more avoiding you because that only causes more harm for us. I don't want to be separated from you either because with all honesty the moment I saw your eyes I was enchanted by you, for a moment I saw a whole future with you and even though I was recoiling from you after each encounter with you, I couldn't help but fall for you a bit each time. Even that kiss made my stomach weirdly flip” 

He caressed my cheek with his thumb while his other arm was wrapped snugly around my waist as we was listening to me. Whereas my hands rested on his chest, I was trying very hard not to look at his exposed chest and or his collarbone, because even this small exposure of skin looked like art. 

“I vow to never become one of those filthy sorry excuses of men, if I could I would hunt them down one by one and drain them completely. No one will harm you, I would certainly never dream of creating such misery for you. But why don't we take some time to spend together and just get everything out. Hmm?”

“I would love that Caius”

He leaned in to give my forehead a tenderful kiss that would have woken Sleeping Beauty herself up. 

-------------------

Epilogue 

‘Dear Carlisle, 

As I write to you, me and Caius have come to be in a better position. We are spending more time together and we have brought up any miscommunication we failed to address from the beginning and solved them up one by one. We are at a point where I feel like we have known each other since the beginning of time. I never felt more at home since before mother passed. Caius really is my other half, we even spend hours in his art room, drawing whatever. He tends to create masterpieces of me being his muse. I even included a painting to this package I am sending of the painting I did from my garden here in Volterra.

I feel more comfortable around the others even, that ick I would tell you about is finally gone and I could spend hours with the guards who I have grown close to. I can never forget to tell you how whenever I talk to Marcus, I see a piece of you in him, I miss you so much but this is the closest I have to having you near me. I hope you and Esme plus the kids are doing well enough. Maybe soon enough we'll see each other, and tell Alice I forgive her, I now know her true intentions and I thank her”

Love y/n”

As Carlisle finished reading out loud the letter to Esme he smiled at the part of seeing his sister soon. But he did not forget to mention to Esme a ‘Finally” after realizing his sister is finally happy with her mate.

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

Ok so, before the indigo disk released I heard there was going to be people with competitive movesets, so before it released I literally made myself an entire competitive team. IM A CASUAL PLAYER 😭😭 and I just think it’d be really funny that carmine and kieran would probably think i’m just gonna stroll up with my usual team but nope swords dance + scale shot 💃 if you could write their reactions to the new squad I just think it’d be funny lmao

(If you want the team I made for reference, it was koraidon, ogerpon, chien-pao, blood moon ursaluna, armarouge, and a shiny slither wing because I felt like having a shiny so I hunted one lol)

- 🪑🥚

Bro I went into the Indigo Disk 100% blind so you can imagine my shock when I realized double battles were gonna be everywhere </3

I mostly had a "fuck it we ball" mentality going through it (which made some battles go on for WAY too long), but later I taught my Ceruledge Poltergeist when I realized almost every NPC in the dlc uses held items.

Funny enough Ogerpon (with Spiky Shield) and BM Ursaluna were on my team. He was an absolute TANK with the assault vest and he knocked out Hydrapple with a Moonblast

Anyways enough rambling and onto the request!

......

Kieran

He was expecting your usual team when you started challenging the BB Elite Four, rolling his eyes at the thought of you trying to use the same old tactics to defeat him.

But he's changed. He's gotten stronger and wanted you to be surprised by what he can do now.

Instead, though, when you arrive to the championship battle...not only did you bring out Ogerpon with her teal mask to (supposedly) insult him, but you also had Chien-Pao, which may spell trouble for his Dragonite.

He'll admit, you were clever to bring a Pokémon who could lower the defense of all the others and cut their HP in half with Ruination..but he doesn't give up yet.

Seeing a shiny that looked like a Volcarona but fluffier was certainly bewildering--as is the Bloodmoon Ursaluna you managed to tame back in Kitakami and the Armarouge who sets up a Psychic Terrain to boost its Expanding Force, allowing it to hit two of his Pokémon at once.

Oh, and apparently you have not one but TWO Koraidons, with the one you brought into battle being more brash and a fierce fighter in its Apex build.

You set that one up with a Swords Dance + Scale Shot combo that absolutely kicks ass, somehow striking your opponents 4-5 times whenever you command it.

Kieran's certainly gotten smarter about his team, but so have you, and he's livid about it.

It was like you enjoyed knocking him down over and over again...yet he can't hear the reluctance in your voice as you utter the final move that finishes off his Hydrapple.

You knew you had to win. He needed to be humbled.

But it didn't feel good at all as you watched him crumble and Drayton rub his loss in his face.

Carmine

When you battled her, she (like her brother) expected to see some familiar faces on your team.

Yet you surprised her (in a good way, very much unlike her brother) with Ogerpon, and she smiles and asks if she missed her, with the legendary responding with a small hop and a happy trill....

Followed by a devastating Ivy Cudgel that lands a critical hit on her Pokémon.

Yeah, she can definitely tell you've been training the Ogre a lot, but she's proud of how confident she's grown nevertheless.

Seeing you have both Chien-Pao and another Koraidon working in tandem is impressive, especially with that Ruination + Swords Dance + Scale Shot combo you pulled.

BM Ursaluna and Shiny Slither Wing are the only two that genuinely shock Carmine, as she's only seen one in myths and the other....she's never seen in her entire life.

But after the trip to Area Zero, she understands Slither Wings better (although she's amazed you managed to find a shiny down there).

Either way, those two are powerhouses.

She remembered you talking about a little lonely Charcadet you found during an outbreak, and to see it has grown up into a mighty Armarouge was such a sweet thing to see.

You clearly took the time to plan out your team before coming to the Blueberry Academy.

Carmine found your battle to be fun.

Although she can't exactly say Kieran will feel the same way..considering Ogerpon is with you and you have some new tricks up your sleeve.

But she figured he oughta find that out for himself.

[bronx-bomber87]

Happy Wednesday amazing fandom :) I realized last review forgot to mention with it being the 100th ep that I hit quite a milestone myself. It was my 100th review. Unreal and proud of myself for doing 100 of these. Now it's my 101st with this one. They’re hard work but enjoy doing them so much.

Love the responses these have gotten. So Thank you to everyone who's commented, liked or reblogged any of these 100 you are amazing. I appreciate you more than you'll ever know. This episode is adorable for so many reasons lots of good Chenford nuggets in here and lots of John/Bailey moments I can fast forward LOL Let us get started.

6x03 Trouble in Paradise

We start with some GLORIOUS domestic Chenford. I mean legit glorious. Tim with his early morning scratchy voice. Leaning against that door frame like the delicious sight he is. Also let’s not by-pass the scruff. It's littered all over that sexy jawline of his. Mmm. Take me now sir. Anyways....To top it off he’s in his jam jams I love this. He asks her if she slept at all? Lucy telling him she’ll sleep when she’s taken the exam and gotten detective.

Tim scoffing knowing she’s not sleeping then either LOL I mean he’s not wrong…He’s so damn supportive as he listens in as she explains what she’s prepared on. The way he just nods along and listens to her vent. Every woman’s dream Tim Bradford every woman's. Checking in to test the temperature of her neuroses today heh I love him for it. He just wants to love her through this so much. It makes my heart so happy.

Lucy explains how it’s the oral portion that’s keeping her up at night. It would be keeping me up too honestly. Especially with how subjective it is. Also like to note how unfair it is how friggin pretty Lucy looks in the morning. Wish I could look that good ha. Tim asking if she still thinks Primm is out to get her? Then explains her cookie debacle. How she brought him some homemade ones and he just tossed them. I mean that's pretty damn rude....What a schmuck.

I relate to Lucy’s anxiety so much. Because I am her when I am very stressed and anxious. I get hyper focused and can’t relax. Won’t let myself do anything till that’s done. Tim once again does his damndest to calm her, support her and reassure her it’ll be ok. The man deserves a gold star for how amazing he is eps 1-4 truly. He is 10/10 incredible for her. Her legit support system through out this whole thing.

The way he tries to take her highlighter cracks me up. Gently placing his hands over hers and pulls. She holds onto it for dear life though so he gives up. lol Tim tries a different tactic. He tells her she can over-prepare. Which is true. I’ve lived this life. BUT when you are this stressed/anxious that ain’t coming through. Her reply cracks me up. ‘No, that is an idea that lazy people created.’ LMAO This made me laugh so hard cause I would say something to this effect.

Tim does a Hail Mary of logic in this last portion. Telling her she’s gonna get in her head, how she just needs to trust herself and then let it go. His smile is so pure and sweet. Truly thinking he’s gotten through to his girl finally. The way she nods. Then Lucy instantly walks it back ‘ Yeah, I don’t think I can do that.’ I’m rolling. Oh Lucy I do get you girl. Least she’s honest with her man ahha

Tim knows when to tap out and does as such. With a frustrated groan he gets up. Knowing he’s not gonna break her study spell. Noting he’s gonna go take a shower then. Little does he know the prospect of him wet and naked is enough to break it. Lucy is surprised at his sudden departure. Asking if he means right now? He’s so over the convo just gives her a ‘Yeah.’ Wiping his hands of this situation for the moment.

Lucy lust's after him as he walks away from her. The thought of Tim being her break is far more enticing than a normal break. Mmm don’t blame you girl. I would be using that man for all kinds of stress relief if I was you... Lucy finally gets up and follows her man to the shower. For a much needed break. I love the continuity of their shower sex LOL It’s bloody fantastic and we’re all here for it. I saw a great post that said ‘If only 5x01 Tim could see himself now.’ He would lose his friggin mind.

Getting all the shower sex and shower time he wants with Lucy now. She seeks him out for it and vice versa. Gah so good. The writers sure know how to take care of us. Especially with moments like this. D wrote a fantastic fic about this moment. Highly encourage you to read it. Also saw a great tag for this as well. It was their head canon he did that on purpose to get her to unwind with him. Sold! LOL I love this fandom and how it thinks.

We get to see Tim back in T.O mode and it revs my engine everyone. hahaha It just does especially after not seeing it for awhile. Tim standing there looking criminally delicious in one of my fav poses. Arms crossed, biceps bulging, and forearms front and center. Hot damn he’s such a sight.

Celina is being reprimanded for her behavior at the wedding. Because honestly it was concerning to say the least. With Nolan out and Harper needing to get back to the detective squad Tim is taking over. Lucy catches his eye and he knows she’s up to something. I love his expression. He knows he needs to see what is going on. He barks orders at Celina to get war bags ready before he goes to check on his girl.

Lucy going to Smitty has to be one of the most hysterical things. Tim literally just told her to cool it for her sanity. What does she do? Go to friggin Smitty. I’m dying. Thinking it won’t get back to Tim. Your husband done found out already dear. ha I do love the tip Smitty gives her on how Primm loves dogs. Such a Melissa detail there. Appealing to the animal lover in her. Tim interrupts their impromptu study session. This scene is comedy gold. Always is with Smitty. Dude isn’t in the show a ton but when he is. Man delivers haha

Tim can’t believe she’s gone to Smitty to study of all people. It is hilarious how offended he is when Lucy says ‘Is he even really helping her?’ Like damn that's ice cold Lucy. Man was just giving you valuable intel lol Tim corralling his girlfriend into his shift for the day is everything. Once again kudos to our man for doing his best for her. Trying to get an obsessive perfectionist to chill is quite the battle to take on. Not only chill but focus on something eIse entirely isn't easy.

I would know I am her and I feel bad for my friends when I get like this. heh. Tim riding the line between BF and Sergeant in front of Smitty is fantastic. She’s like a toddler right now and he’s continuously trying to keep her from the outlets. The parameters he puts down for both Celina and her crack me up. Still got that T.O bark in him for her. The way his eyes follow her out. *dreamy sigh* That BF side coming back out there. Smitty's comment snaps him out of it though. Too funny.

S7. Imma need more of this trio right here. On and off work. It’s such a good one right off the bat. Celina rambling nervously while Lucy enjoys herself in the back. You know she loves watching him in T.O. mode. Just like the rest of us. We also get the delicious eargasm of him saying ‘Juarez’ with that that sexy inflection of his. If it seems like I’m extra feral this ep for him it's because I am LOL No point in fighting it. I am who I am.

Lucy brings up Aaron and Tim is instantly annoyed. That convo doesn't last more than 20 seconds. Tim pulls the car over immediately jolting them both. Telling them both to get out of the car. Ahh S1 Tim trying to make an appearance. Lucy isn’t phased in the least. Because no matter what she knows soft Tim. Also just had her way with him this morning. She ain’t scared ha Their amazing dynamic never ceases to amaze me. Lucy concedes and says they can just talk at lunch...

I do love them Co-T.O’ing Celina in this one. Perfect mixture of hug and smack really. They respond to a guy who claims to have ‘amnesia’ Tim isn’t buying it in the least cause well it's Tim. They make it to the hospital to interview this man. Tim could not be more over this man and his BS if he tried.

His face while this guy prattles on is priceless. Eric out here killing it once again with his facial expressions. Let’s not forget the ZERO amount of personal space per usual with them. Always delights me paired with the height difference? I’m a happy girl. They are once again the epitome of Grumpy x Sunshine here.

No one does it better than our ship. They reconvene in the hallway to discuss how they wanna proceed. They’re so deep into their chat they don’t realize Celina isn’t there. LMAO Her looking around for them after they’ve left is so funny. Giving me 5x17 flashbacks where they kept losing the kid. Except it's their rookie which isn't much better.

Tim yelling out ‘Boot!’ Mmm yes sir. Celina running over to meet up with Tim and Lucy. He continues his gruff T.O. act with her. Telling her he's about the hang a bell around her neck cause he keeps losing her. Oh Timothy. I adore how Lucy looks at Tim while he’s in this mode. Nothing but love eyes emanating from her. You are at work madam. Reign it in it. Actually don't I love it. I would say this portion is indicative of their future parenting styles. But we all know that man is gonna be a softie to their kid(s)

Because he didn’t get to have that. Lucy is going to have to be the one to lay down the law, funny enough. Especially if they have a girl. Lord help Tim. A mini Lucy running around? Man will be a goner... I do adore Lucy jumping in and saving Celina. Because she would’ve loved that herself as a rookie. Lucy’s T.O teaching style is very in line with me as a leader. As we were see in a future ep with her and Celina. She was denied praise so she wants to give what she was denied herself. Exactly how I am as a leader.

Wanted to give everything to my people that I never got. I adore this trio so much. Very mom/dad and their kid. I love Lucy giving Tim crap for not giving her a little praise. Also Lucy defending why she let Celina just go is the best. It is everything I explained above. Tim was of course is adverse to this idea. Trying to keep that hard T.O exterior going. Lucy not backing down asking 'Have I not softened you at all?' LOL You have my dear, but that is exclusive to you and only you. On and especially off work.

We get early morning domestic Chenford x2 in this ep. I’m eating it up. D and I have had this convo about how creepy John/Bailey are with waking up the other. How they’re just sitting like a weirdo till the other wakes up at the end of the bed. It’s not sweet or romantic in the least. It’s off putting lmao Whereas this moment it’s very sweet and intimate. The way Lucy rolls over and he is the first thing she sees. *happy sigh* What a way to wake up.

Look at how that man is looking at her. Tim is head over heels for her and not hiding it at all. It's exuding out of his delicious form as he gazes down at her. I’m not well guys. I’m not well. This is so precious I cannot. Just standing there. Getting ready for the day while he let's his girl catches some much needed extra z’s. Imma implode with how cute this all is. Getting ship drunk over here and loving it.

We can see how soft this man is for her. Right after she just asked the night before if she had softened him at all? Yes Lucy. Very much so. Tim is legit putty in your hands. Never seen this man as happy as he is with her. Second gif is all the proof I need. Also there is something so sexy about the way he rolls out his cuff. Why is this so attractive? I was already feral enough in this ep ahha Look at that man above. Getting ready in his delicious black shirt like he doesn't know he's an absolute snack.

We also get a nice shot of his chest as he buttons up. Hot damn this man is so beautiful. I’m a legit puddle of attraction *fans self*. After Lucy is done gazing at her beautiful BF she realizes she has slept in. Pops up in an instant panic. Tim replying calmly she needed it. Not phased at all by her reaction. What a good man taking care of her like this.

Seriously he was in the running for BF of the year at this point. Tim tells her to take the morning off. You know it's killing him to watch her drive herself into the ground like this. He had to do something. And if a little more sleep was what he could control then so be it. It’s what he was going to make sure happened.

I love how he asks her 'Don’t you feel better?' It's his soft tone that has me melting. Does me in. Lucy concedes immediately saying that she does. So thankful for this man. Thankful for how he takes care of her without even asking. I love them so much. Also there is nothing like sleeping in after lots of sleep debt piles up. Lucy was due for it and Tim made sure she cashed in.

I adore the way she thanks him for looking out for her like this. It’s very sweet and loving. Heart eyes galore. Now the big ass smile on Tim's face after she says that. *chef kiss* My god that man is so happy to have finally gotten a victory with her. That smile has me reeling basically saying 'You’re welcome, my love.’ He then continues to get ready for the day knowing his girl is happy and rested.

Unfortunately the happy morning bubble doesn’t last for long after this. Lucy gets a text saying her test is ASAP. Which beyond sucks and just another mind game from Primm. Because we all know he makes her wait till dead last. 20 minutes my ass you SOB. I hate it sfm how he makes her wait that long only to destroy her in her oral exam. *grumble*

Honestly makes my stomach turn watching her in that oral exam. I can’t stand to watch it but must for this review. I hate her having to defend her mistake from 6x01. That shouldn’t define what an exemplary career she’s had. To this point she’s been stellar and nothing short of extraordinary. Hurts my heart to watch this scene go down. Also angers me and makes me wanna meet Primm in a dark ally with no witnesses…. Grey looks upset af when he posts the exam rankings. When she reads her results. 17th….

Gah this scene absolutely gutted me the first time. That has not changed during this rewatch. The music paired with Melissa’s outstanding acting got me all in my feels. Holy hell it's like getting the wind knocked out of you watching her devastation. How she tells Grey she’s going to die on that list. Ugh. My heart. Getting punished for taking care of Tim when he needed her. Makes me so mad I wanna throat punch Primm. Grey isn’t much comfort but that is a Tim job. It’s a rough rough scene everyone. Hard to stomach.

When Nolan damn near gets everything handed to him. She has to fight and claw for everything. Then still gets this steaming pile of crap. I hate this for our girl I really do.I truly hope we get to have a hard look at where she goes in S7. This needs to be delved into and wrapped up all in one. Our girl needs a path and a purpose. I truly think T.O. Is the calling she never expected it. Be interesting to see what they do in the next season for her following this. T.O. or not. But if she's a T.O. Tim will be her equal and not her superior for when they get back together. But I'm getting ahead of myself lol

We get domestic Chenford part 3 and it’s the best part of all. So much to love about this scene it’s crazy. The soft Tim we all know and love is ever present in this scene. Also, his partner, supportive Tim, is crushing a performance in this segment as well. It’s beyond adorable from end to end. Just what we needed after that devastating scene before. It does our shipper hearts real good.

Lucy is pouring them some wine for their night in. Cause clearly they’re not going out. She wants to hide away with her man. I do not blame her one bit. Telling Tim she can’t believe she came in 17th… That it’s almost worse than coming in last. I would be feeling the same. Tapping into her childhood a bit and the failures she feels from there.

Not only that, but I’m sure the voice in the back of her head, that sounds like her mom, is voicing the same things. About her choosing this career and life. It’s a good thing Tim is there to quell and silence all those voices. He tells her there is no prize for coming in last. BUT there is one for coming in 17th. Haha Tim then reaches over and pulls out the award he got her.

Look at the smile on that goober. He couldn’t be prouder of himself if he tried. Lucy looks throughly confused until she realizes he’s altered the trophy to ‘17st’ LMFAO. I love this man so much. As does Lucy as she grabs the trophy from him. Realizing what he's done. So many reasons to love this moment.

Lucy stated in 3x03 how much she loves trophies. Tim remembered this and got her one. My damn heart. Not only that the man was so sure she would be #1 he bought it beforehand. Lucy Chen’s number supporter right there. Front and center people. Lucy’s smile is everything. Tim is beaming because she is. Look at him in that second gif. He is smiling ear to ear. All he wanted was to make his girl smile and laugh. Check and check. Well done sir.

Tim truly was so damn thoughtful and precious through out this scene. A+ boyfriend right here folks. A damn plus. Man is soft as butter for her. We all love it. Lucy’s energy has immediately changed thanks to the man next to her. Not only does her tune change she matches his mood. Throwing back a joke of her own. Saying how she gonna have to set her sights on a different future. Then mentions Metro to get a rise out of him.

His reaction is HILARIOUS. He wasn’t ready for the joke she sent his way. Completely unprepared with a good answer. Also the stress it would bring him if she actually did. They know they work well together. That is not the problem. It’s the immense and increased danger she would be in. That’s what would give him a legit heart attack everyday. Lucy Chen has once again broken this man's brain. Gotta be a record at this point heh.

Lucy could not be cuter when she tells him she’s kidding. Her whole body bouncing with laughter. That adorableness that only Melissa can conjure and convey. It’s beyond precious. Tim with his weak. ‘I …I knew that.’ Lucy basically following it up with an ‘Ok babe…’ Whatever you say my love. LOL Not believing him even a little bit. They are so cute and sweet I’m diabetic.

Lucy then looks back down at the trophy he got her. Asking him if he really thought she was going to come in first? That self doubt and lack of confidence creeping back in. She truly needs to know and hear it from him. Needs that reassurance he believes in her. Because just like Tim’s needs her opinion of him to be high. Lucy needs to know Tim believes in her. Tim doesn’t miss a beat with his reply.

The sweet smile going along with it. He’s loves her so much. Is so damn proud of her. It just flows out of him. Wasn’t a doubt in his mind she was capable of being #1. He’s seen her defy the odds so many times. Was front row to every victory and loss that’s shaped her as a cop. He’s watched her become this confident bad ass. Overcoming insane and traumatic things only to come out stronger. Knows she’s a strong test taker. To him was a no brainer she would crush this thing and then some.

Lucy hears all that in his tone and reply. Sadly she doesn't take this as a positive. But a failure on her part. She starts to fall back into her previous mood. Feeling like she let her most important person down. Those insecurities rushing back and she is beating herself up. It’s the way she stares down at first. Then locks eyes with him letting him know she’s sorry. Sorry she’s disappointed him. I saw someone made a 1x12 parallel to this line that kinda hurt my heart a bit. And once again it's something I can relate to cause I’m the same. He is just so damn supportive and cares so so much. That it comes off as high standards.

Ones that people feel like they're going to fail to achieve. When really it's just a great depth of caring and voicing what someone is capable of. Because he was denied that in his childhood he wants to make sure the people he loves know it. So they feel this need to live up to these standards he unintentionally sets. I can so relate because I was this way with my team. I was deeply caring and supportive but also voiced a lot what they were capable of. Because I too had been denied that in my childhood and with other leaders in my life. So when others would watch my team they would tell me that I had such high standards for my team.

They did not tell me this in a good way btw. Even though I produced a successful team that loved me it felt like a slight. Now while I had those standards it was always paired with deep caring and support. Just like Tim. He is just trying to build up those he loves and can come off as high standards people can't reach. Just a fascinatingly tragic thing the woman he falls in love with mistake it as high standards. When he's just trying to show how much he cares and supports them.

I stumbled across and felt it fit this moment. Because right now Lucy feels she has failed his high standards. Failed his idea of her being #1 (which we know she hasn't in his eyes.) That she's disappointed him so much so she can barely keep eye contact with him. The potential for miscommunication for this is immense. Like it was for him and Isabel. Luckily Tim kills this before it's an issue. So proud of him BTW. His growth still floors me.

Where in 1x12 Tim has no answer for Isabel saying his standards made her feel like a failure, here he has one for Lucy. He’s learned from his past and that’s a beautiful thing to behold. He’s learned to love better. To communicate better. Loving Lucy has made him want to be better in both of those aspects. He doesn't want to make the same mistakes with her as he did with Isabel. I said back in s2 his relationship with Rachel I loved. Not because I loved him with her. But because it helped heal him. Showed him he could do a relationship again. She got him back to that place where he could fall in love again.

Even Ashley as much as we didn’t like her got him thinking about marriage, serious relationships etc again. A place I’m sure he never thought he would go again. Also taught him what he didn’t want. Even though she was the one to end it you know he learned from it. He saw all the things he wanted out of life for his next relationship and then he saw those things with Lucy. All that to say is with that growth he's gained he immediately quells the anxiety and disappointment raging inside her. Doesn't let it fester.

Squashes the thought of her thinking he could ever think that with his sweet reply. I love how he shakes his head. Kinda like how he did back in 6x02 when she asked if he loved her. Like he can’t believe she would even think he would say or think that about her. So much is said in one sentence here. The way he leans closer to her as well. Makes sure she can read her his heart eyes as he expresses something so deeply true to him. That she could never disappoint him. *heart clutch*

Then we get the sweetest kiss to wrap this moment up. I love the way she smiles into the kiss and afterwards. Makes me squee to no end. Completed besotted with the man next to her. It’s screaming all over her body language how much she loves Tim. Their kisses always bring me such shippy joy. It's hard to put into words sometimes. But this one definitely gives me all the butterfly feels. The entire scene does really.

The scene ends with the cutest smile from Lucy. We talk a lot about Tim’s “Lucy smile.” The one he only brings out for her. Lucy has the same with her “Tim smile.” Ain’t no one making her smile and legit light up the way Tim does. Look at the way she looks at that man in the final gifs. With sheer reverence and awe that she gets to call him hers. Tim is uber cute reveling in how good a job he did haha

Lucy easily gives into his comments. Letting him pad his ego this time. He’s more than earned it. Agreeing he did and she loves him so much for it. Adores this man by her side. He is keeping her afloat like no one else could. He never once gave up in supporting her through this nightmare. How even at her lowest Tim managed to take care of her and make her laugh and smile. She is forever grateful and it���s written all over those last two gifs. Cuteness they name is Chenford.

The song in this scene is called “healing rock.” Seems fitting. Tim was definitely healing her in this final scene. Also just a soothing song that played in the background. Perfect way to end it. That’s all she wrote for this one. Damn good episode for them. I was on cloud 9 after this one. Hard not to be. Thank you amazing readers for like, comment and reblog these. You are the real MVP's. see you all in 6x04 :)

~~~

Side note -Non Chenford

More I see Lucy in T.O roles more I think I want her to be one. She would be an excellent teacher. Far better than friggin Nolan.

I love Grey Checking in with Tim about Lucy. Tim telling him he will be glad when this is done. Killing him how she is has been a mess during all this. My heart.

John and Bailey had to have had the most unromantic boring ass honeymoon ever. I watched it the first time but I fast forwarded all that this time. *snooze*