#because nothing I was getting seemed to really fit

[watchmegetobsessed]

UNMATCHED II.

A/N: soooo you guys were just as horny for a part 2 to this story as i was so here we are, giving in to the temptation. disclaimer, i know their behavior is giving red flag energy but lets just put that aside for the sake of the story now lol

WORD COUNT: 3.8k

WARNING: sexual content, age gap, student-professor relationship

SUMMARY: Harry has been trying his best to forget what happened with Y/N, he is set on never making the same mistake, but it seems like fate has different plans for him.

PART 1 | MASTERLIST | SUPPORT ME!

That skirt. That goddamned skirt. That’s gonna be the death of Harry. 

And also the fact that she went back to that asshole. 

Sitting in the busy school cafeteria Harry has zoned out of the conversation at the table a long time ago, precisely when he saw Y/N stroll in wearing that short skirt with that dickhead she should have ditched already or better, she shouldn’t have even dated him in the first place. But now they are moving in the line with their group of friends and he has his hand on her waist and it keeps inching lower, just a few more inches and his hand could be slipping under her skir–

“Harry? Hello?” 

Stella catches his attention and he is forced to move his focus back to his colleagues at the table. 

“Huh? Sorry, what did you say?” He clears his throat and keeps his eyes on his half-eaten sandwich in front of him. 

“What’s up with you? You haven’t been your usual self lately.”

“Just… tired. I’m behind with my research and have a bunch of papers to grade before winter break.”

“The joys of being a teacher,” Stella chuckles. “Don’t worry, it’ll get better with time.”

“Really?”

“No,” she smirks at him. “But you’ll care less.”

She soon returns to the conversation at the table and Harry finds himself looking for Y/N again. There’s no trace of her in the line, but he is quick to spot her at a table across the dining hall, sitting beside Dickhead who has an arm around her neck, keeping her close as he wants everyone to know that they are together.

And it irks Harry way more than it probably should. 

It’s been a little over a week since Stella’s Christmas party and also that very heated and very wrong kiss he shared with Y/N. That weekend was like hell, he kept beating himself over and over about it, cursing himself out for being so stupid and reckless. He still has no idea what came over him that let him make out with a student, but he knew one thing for sure: it couldn’t happen again. 

So when Y/N walked into the classroom before his first lecture early on monday he didn’t even let her speak before he got to the point. 

“It shouldn’t have happened. I’m so sorry for it, but I can’t undo it now. I suggest let’s pretend nothing happened, it’s for the absolute best. No one can know about it and it will never happen again.”

She seemed taken aback by his outburst, but after a bit of hesitation she nodded.

“Okay. Nothing happened. It must have been the wine.”

“Yes,” he agreed right away. “We both drank more than we should have and made a mistake.”

She flinched at his last word, but didn’t protest, only nodded, holding her textbooks tighter to her chest. She looked so sad, even disappointed that Harry almost wanted to take back what he just said, but he knew he couldn’t. 

“Are you… okay?” he dared to ask, but when she looked at him again, her eyes told nothing. 

“I’m fine. I’ll see you in class, professor.”

And she was out of the classroom before he could say another word. In class she sat in the back and not even once did she look at him. He knows, because he kept looking at her. 

He’s been trying his best to get her out of his head, but with not much luck. Not when all he can think about is how soft her lips felt against his, how insanely good she tasted mixed with the coldness of the night, how amazingly she fit into his palm, the curve of her neck, back, waist and hips… and how badly he wants to experience it again even though it’s the worst possible idea. 

Harry thinks he is going insane. Genuinely. 

He’s been burying himself into work, but his focus has been all over the place, so it’s been more like a waste of time. He is one of the last ones in the building today as well. Most professors left a long time ago, but the lights in Harry’s tiny office are still on as he is hunched over a stack of papers. When he has to read over the same line for the twentieth time he drops his pen with a tired groan and leans back in his chair. He takes his glasses off and rubs his eyes roughly, until he is practically seeing stars. 

“Fuck,” he huffs, staring at the papers that are still waiting to be graded. Checking the time on his phone he is surprised to see that it’s already past seven.

He stands from his chair and steps to the window. The campus looks quiet at this time, only a few students are walking towards the dorm that’s next to the literature department’s building. It’s a wednesday night, the semester ends next week so some lucky students who have no more exams left in the year have already left for the holidays. Harry will be going home right before Christmas, he plans to use those few days of the break to work on his research in peace. 

From his window he sees part of the parking lot next to the dorm, it’s quite dark there, he almost doesn’t notice the figures sitting in the car closest to him, but a few heartbeats later realization hits him.

It’s Y/N and the dickhead. 

They are pretty far, but Harry can tell that they are in a heated fight, judging from how Y/N is gesticulating. Obviously he can’t hear them, but if he had to guess he would say she is shouting, from what he can see. 

For a moment he tells him to just ignore the scene, it’s none of anyone else’s business, let alone his. But when he sees the asshole slap his hands against the wheel several times, making Y/N jump, Harry is moving before he could second guess his actions. 

He practically sprints down that stairs, already trying to figure out how he’ll interject without appearing like a creep, but he forgets all his plans when he is marching towards the parking lot and sees the scene unfold from up close. 

At some point they must have gotten out of the car, because Harry catches the dickhead getting back into the driving seat, Y/N is crying and tries to stop him from shutting the door, but he swings it with such force that she stumbles forward, holding onto the handle. When Harry sees her almost fall to the asphalt he starts running, just as the car comes to life and he drives away so fast, he almost runs over Y/N’s feet. 

“Fuck you, Charlie! Fuck you!” She screams after the car, tears streaming down her cheeks. 

“Hey, hey, hey!” Harry rushes over to her, grabs her by her shoulders and turns her away from the direction of the car. “Hey, what happened?”

She is gasping for air from the crying as she wraps her arms around her, those beautiful eyes that are usually filled with curiosity are now full of confusion and hurt. 

“Y/N, look at me,” he begs and she hiccups a few times before she finally looks him in the eyes. 

“H-Harry?”

He ignores how good it feels to hear her call him by his first name again and tries to focus on the situation.

“Yeah. Let’s get inside, okay? It’s freezing cold.”

She nods and lets him steer her towards the building and up to his office. By the time she sits in the old armchair in the corner of his office she has stopped sobbing, but her expression looks just as miserable as before. 

“I’ll make you a tea. Do you like tea?” he asks, stepping over to the tiny side table where he keeps his kettle and tiny tea collection with two mugs. She nods and he is quick to turn on the kettle. He grabs a chamomile filter and drops it into one of the mugs and while the water boils he hands her a box of tissues that she accepts with a quietly murmured thank you. 

When the tea is done he hands her the mug and sits in his chair, unsure what to say. He definitely did not plan to have her in his office anytime soon and definitely not like this. 

“Go on, lecture me about being with him,” she says at last, staring into the mug in her hands. 

“I wasn’t planning on it.”

“But you’d be right.” She looks up at him, eyes still red from the crying. 

“Why did you go back to him?” he softly asks, not wanting to make her feel even worse. 

“I don’t know,” she shrugs, looking away again. “He could be convincing, I guess.”

“Hope you won’t believe him after this.”

“No,” she chuckles bitterly before taking a sip from the tea, leaning back in the armchair. “Not even the sex will convince me to go back to him.”

Harry’s muscles jump at her words. Not because he is such a prude, but because instantly he is thinking about sex… and her… and his body reacts involuntarily. Clearing his throat he crosses his legs and looks anywhere but at her.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that,” she chuckles softly, but she doesn’t seem sorry at all. 

“No, I… um…” Harry has no idea what to say. This feels like such an impossible situation, he is definitely walking on eggshells here and the fact that he is semi-hard does not help his case. 

While he is looking for the right words she places her mug to his desk and crosses her legs, a curious look playing in her eyes as she is looking at him. She appears calm and confident suddenly, like she wasn’t sobbing ten minutes ago. 

“I lied,” she then speaks up.

“About what?”

“I know why I went back to him.”

“Oh. Okay, why did you?”

She holds his gaze for one… two… three seconds before her lips part, then she hesitates for one more moment before answering. 

“Because I couldn’t go to you.”

A shiver runs down his spine at her words, his body is betraying him already, but he hangs onto the last bit of his rationality.

“Y/N, don’t.”

“Don’t what? Don’t tell the truth?”

“We agreed that we are not talking about it again.”

“I’m not talking about that night. I’m talking about how badly I’ve been wanting you, but knowing I can’t have you I went back to Charlie even though I knew I shouldn’t have.” 

“Y/N…” His mouth is dry and he feels ridiculously hot even though the heating hasn’t been working too well lately in his office. He is clawing at the arms of his chair, trying to keep the remains of his cool, though it feels like he is hanging on a thread.

“I won’t do anything about it, don’t worry. And I won’t bring it up again.” She sounds different this time, the confidence has turned into what feels like disappointment and it lurches something in Harry’s gut. 

Standing she smoothes her clothes before looking at Harry, a tiny sliver of expectancy glistening in her eyes. 

“Thanks for the tea. I better get going.”

She is already moving towards the door when Harry jumps to his feet, entirely lost about what to think, do or say. He strides after her and just when she is about to reach for the knob, he grabs her other hand, stopping her mid action. 

But he has no idea why he just did that. His rationality is screaming at him, but with each passing moment he spends holding her hand, the noise gets farther and farther away until it’s lost somewhere in the back of his mind. 

Slowly, she turns her head, eyes taking in the sight of their touching hands before her gaze meets his. He instantly stumbles back, letting go of her like she was on fire, but she doesn’t seem surprised. Instead, she turns around and just stands there, with a calm, but determined look on her face. 

“Careful professor,” she then speaks up. “I might take your actions as a hint.”

“A hint…” he breathes out, almost mesmerized with her, he is convinced she’s put a spell on him, because he can’t move or think straight, he just keeps staring at her.

“Yes, a hint,” she nods shortly. “That you want me just as much as I want you.”

He swallows down a moan that almost slips through his lips at her words. His whole body is burning for her, palms sweating and itching to touch her and he can almost taste her on his tongue again, desperate to pick up from where they left off not long ago. 

The tiniest smirk tugs on the corners of her mouth when she sees just how much he is struggling and she takes it as her queue to push her luck just a bit further. She takes a step closer to him, but still leaves some space between them, wanting him to close those last inches. 

“You know you can have me.” She cocks her head to the side, blinking up at him innocently. “Right here, on your desk or in that armchair. I want to be your good girl and take whatever you give me.”

“Stop it,” he manages to breathe out, but all his strength is gone, it sounds more like a plea rather than an order. 

“What if I don’t?” she sassily questions. “Will you punish me?”

Harry whimpers. They both know he is close to breaking and she is not stepping down now and she’s determined to push him over the edge. Slowly she reaches up, drags a finger across her lips before moving then down, tugging at her shirt at her chest, revealing more of the exposed skin there, then she starts playing with the top button, all while keeping her eyes focused on him. He sucks on his breath, his gaze keeps switching between her eyes and what her fingers are doing. 

Then it pops open, revealing the delicious swell of her breasts and a bit of the lacy bra as well and he knows he is gone. 

“Close the curtain,” he simply orders and a sudden rush of excitement washes over her as she quickly moves across the room, drawing the curtains on the window and turning around she is expecting him to be in the same spot, but to her surprise he is right there and before she could say a word, his lips crash down on hers with such force she would have fallen back if he didn’t already have an arm around her waist. 

His other hand is quick to find its way to her throat first, then to her jaw, angling her head perfectly so he can devour her. 

He spins them around and she gasps when her ass meets the edge of his desk, still kissing her he pushes forward, blindly tossing everything on the desk aside to make room, something clatters as it falls to the ground but neither of them cares to even look. His hands are on the back of her legs and he helps her up until she is sitting on top of the desk. 

She eagerly opens her thighs and circles her legs around his hips, pulling him closer and when she feels just how hard he already is, pushing against her clothed center, she can’t help but moan at the sensation. 

“It’s a one time thing,” he pants when her fingers start to work on his shirt and his hands find the button of her jeans. 

“Sure,” she breathes out smiling.

“Just to get it out of our system.”

“Of course,” she nods eagerly, and a moment later she is tugging his shirt off his shoulders. 

Buttons come undone, clothes are thrown across the room and soon enough all of his focus is on her naked chest, his hands exploring the tender, heated skin before his head dips down and his mouth meets her hardened nipples. 

“Oh fuck,” she moans, head falling back as she has an arm around his shoulders, the other one planted behind her on the desk. All while his hands are tugging down her jeans, finally giving him the chance to touch her inner thighs, exploring the warmth and softness he’s been fantasizing about for so long. 

He gently bites on one of her nipples, making her back arch, burying his face between her breasts before he leans back to get rid of her jeans. She has a moment to admire his naked torso, all the tattoos he’s been hiding under his clothes, his pants are hanging around his knees and his erection is throbbing through the fabric of his underwear. She can’t help but smile at the sight, it’s surely one she’ll remember forever.

When her jeans are discarded on the floor he plants his hands on her thighs and pushes them wide open, revealing her drenched panties. He brings his thumb over the wet fabric, lazily drags it over her clit, making her tremble under his touch. Then keeping eye contact with her he pulls his chair under him, sits down and rolls closer so his face is perfectly lined up with her. With his eyes still locked on hers, he leans forward, moves her panties to the side and places a sloppy, open mouthed kiss to her throbbing clit, making her moan so loud, he digs his fingers into her thighs pulling back. 

“You need to be quiet,” he warns her and she just eagerly nods, watching him take her underwear off completely and go back to where he was a moment ago. 

Harry drinks up her taste, he licks, kisses and sucks on the right spots, making her see stars as her orgasm is building up. When she feels two of his fingers slip into her she grabs a handful of his hair, tugging on it. 

But right when she is about to tip over the edge he pulls back, leaving her in a heaving mess. Reaching into one of his drawers he grabs a condom and standing up he watches her lying on his desk, chest rapidly rising and falling while he rolls the condom on. 

To his surprise, she gets up and jumps off the desk, taking the initiative by pushing him down back into the chair and straddling his lap. His hands are quick to move to her ass as his cock wedges between her drenched folds. He hisses when she starts rolling her hips, making them both even more feral for what’s about to come. 

She leans forward and kisses him, her hand reaching down between them until it finds his cock. She gives him a few lazy strokes to which he hums lowly into her mouth. Then she stops her kisses, lips still brushing against his, eyes meeting again as she lifts herself up just enough to angle him underneath her and then slowly she eases down, letting him enter her inch by inch until she is filled entirely. She gasps at the feeling of her walls stretching around him and they both stop for a few moments, just savoring how perfectly they fit together. 

She plants both her hands to the base of his neck, kisses him again and starts moving her hips. 

“Fuck, Y/N, you feel so good,” he groans, locking his arms around her, fingers digging into her naked back and side as she starts to slowly pick up her pace, bouncing on him. 

When he starts thrusting upwards, meeting her movements, her head rolls back from how deep she feels him inside her, his tip reaching the perfect spot. 

“Yes, right there!” she gasps as he buries his head in her neck, kissing and sucking on the soft skin while keeping his rhythm. “I’m so close,” she breathes out, her hands raking through his messy hair. 

Wanting even more friction she adjusts herself and then starts moving faster and rougher, aching for the release. She looks down, her eyes meet his gaze and she just knows he is as close as she is. 

“Harry,” she moans and hearing his name fall from her lips is what pushes him over the edge.

Grunting, his thrusts get rougher and fall out of their fast pace, he pushes into her over and over again as he fills the condom and watching him fall apart helps her let go as well. He feels her walls tighten around him while he is still riding out the afterwaves of his own orgasm, her mouth hangs open, nails digging into his shoulders so harshly they surely leave marks. 

Then they both slowly come off their high and she leans forward, capturing his lips in a much softer kiss than the ones they’ve shared just minutes ago. He gladly returns, their lips melt together and his fingers gently roam her naked back while he is still inside her. 

They’re quiet when she moves off him and grabs a few tissues to clean herself up while he discards the condom. The clothes are picked up from the floor one by one and a sense of unsureness settles between them as they both get dressed. 

She was the only thing on his mind just five minutes ago, but now that the sex haze is gone, his thoughts start racing. What did he do? What will happen now? This shouldn’t have happened but still, he wants to do it again and again and again. 

As if she knew he was panicking inside, she steps to him, takes his face in her hands and pulls him into a long, passionate kiss that instantly makes him forget about everything else. 

“Don’t overthink it,” she whispers against his lips. “We’re adults.”

“I’m your teacher,” he hums.

“The semester is almost over. Grade my last paper and we’re done,” she simply says with very little care about his current status. But he is not that sold on it just yet, hesitation and worry is all over his face. “Did you not want it?”

“You know how much I wanted it,” he admits defeatedly. 

“Great. I wanted it too. And I want it again. So I’ll come by tomorrow again. You’ll bend me over that desk after I had your cock in my mouth, then tell me what grade I’m getting for the semester and we do it again after that.”

He is already feeling himself getting hard again. Deep down he knows he should say no, but he has no will left to fight with himself anymore. So all he does is nod and then kiss her. 

“I’ll see you tomorrow, professor.” She grabs her coat from the floor and then walks out of his office like nothing happened. 

Harry falls into his chair and assesses the mess on and around his desk, staring at the spot where she was sitting not long ago. He knows he is making his biggest mistake ever, but sinning has never felt this good.

And right now he is willing to take this risk.

Thank you for reading, please like and reblog if you enjoyed and buy me a coffee if you want to support me!

[amusedmuralist]

alabastercloud:

cephiedvariable:

coelasquid:

rosalarian:

dresdencodak:

Seeing as how I’ve done both the top ten for best and worst superhero costume redesigns, I feel obligated to put my money where my artistic mouth is and take a stab at fixing or updating some of these costumes.  I’ve picked five here based on: 

It’s a particularly awful outfit that doesn’t fit the character, or

It’s a solid character who just needs some updating or tweaking

I’ll list these in order of “reboot depth:”

5. Starfire

What’s wrong: In the wake of DC’s “new 52” this felt like a no-brainer.  Starfire is a decent character who’s always, in my opinion, gotten the short end of the costume stick.  I get that she’s supposed to be sexually liberated and somewhat polyamorous, and that’s fine, but dressing like a John Carter’s Princess of Mars-themed stripper doesn’t cut it.  Really, up until the Teen Titans cartoon she’s always been in the most awkward and impractical getups for someone fighting crime.

The Fix: I went for the simple route and took some notes from the cartoon (notably the skirt). I wanted to make sure it kept the bubbly, innocent feeling of the character while also hinting at some power (with the exposed arms here).  The overall effect is meant to convey someone who’s tough, cheerful and comfortable flying around in the air.

4. Dr. Strange

What’s wrong: I love Dr. Strange, but he’s always had the worst outfits.  For a guy who basically hangs out in his house in the West Village, he seems to always wear the most ostentatious getups.  He’s not an alien from another planet or from some culture that would dress that way, he’s a grown man who became a wizard well into adulthood.  Nothing wrong with having some style while you’re maintaining the balance of the mystic planes.

The Fix: Two parts Vincent Price, one part Christopher Lee and one part Dr. Orpheus, this Dr. Strange is still magical, but with a more coherent design direction.

3. Ms. Marvel

What’s Wrong: Simply put, I think it’s embarrassing for Marvel to showcase a prominent character like Ms. Marvel and have her wearing that outfit.  It’s just so tacky, and tells us nothing about the character.  Basically they just changed the colors of Jean Grey’s Phoenix costume and exposed more skin.  Come on, guys.

The Fix: Since her origins are ostensibly tied with Captain Marvel, I decided to go a route that’s more along the lines of the Ultimate Marvel version of that character, where her abilities come from alien technology rather than vague space magic.  The notion that she’s, for example, permanently bound with this technology that she doesn’t fully understand can make for some interesting stories.  There can be some potential with this character again with just a little bit of tweaking.

2. Wonder Woman

What’s Wrong: Wonder Woman, in my opinion, is a character that’s always been on the cusp of being really neat but never quite making it like Superman or Batman.  Although a feminist pop icon, her origins are too tied up with creator WIlliam Marston’s obsession with bondage.  Because of this (and an all-too-frequent parade of poor or sexist writing), she’s never had a solid, progressive design.  The 21st century can update this character.

The Fix: One part Thor, three parts Xena. I’d push the mythological angle further.  Just as nobody thinks of Thor as “Superman with a hammer” I don’t want Wonder Woman to be “girl Superman,” as she’s sometimes seen.  I’ve also tweaked her origin slightly, making her a more literal “statue come to life.” This isn’t as extreme as it seems: in regular canon, Wonder Woman’s origin was that she was formed out of clay by the queen of the Amazons, and imbued with the powers of the Greek Gods.  This, I think offers more story possibilities if she’s less literally human, physically.  Her personality would remain the same (nothing more fun than the perspective of an Amazon in the modern world), but we now have an added Pinnochio-style layer.

The costume change is mostly conservative.  Because of the strong fetish associations (and overall impracticality for a fighting Amazon), I’ve removed the lasso in favor of more traditional Greek weapons.  The overall effect is intended to push Wonder Woman’s core themes further while making her also stand out as more than just “the female superhero.”

1. Superman

What’s Wrong: Since his creation, Superman’s drifted from being a progressive champion for the common man to a patriotic middle-America boyscout who represents the establishment and traditional values. When he was developed in the 30s, Superman was very much a Depression-era hero, mostly going after villains like crooked money lenders and saving people who were being abused by the system.  His superpowers came from the fact that he was from a more advanced society, and his morals too were because he was simply a brainier, more sophisticated guy.  During and following WW2 and into the Cold War, though, he became an official symbol for American values in particular (it was originally “Truth and Justice,” without “the American Way”).  He was now not just an alien, but an alien raised by simple Kansas farmers and his abilities had a more generic “superpower” explanation.  This is all fine, really, but I think the original concept is more compelling these days.

The Fix: ”Superman: the Man of Tomorrow, Strange Visitor from Another World.” I really want to push that.  First off, Kryptonians should actually look like aliens and not white people. Here I have Kal-El from a race of beings who are essentially post-human (in that they’ve long since merged with technology).  They’re strange to our mortal eyes but mean well.  I’d keep the “destroyed planet” origin but more heavily emphasize the “non-interference” part of Superman’s mission statement.  

If you’ll remember from the 70s movie, his father Jor-El told him he was forbidden to interfere with the course of human history, but when you think about it, that’s kind of vague.  What I’ve done is added a Star Trek or Uatu the Watcher kind of prime directive to all advanced species:  Kal-El can’t let people know that he’s an alien, nor can he openly interact with them using advanced technology.  Still, he’s a compassionate guy and wants to help, so he takes the form of “Superman” to inspire the mortals in a constructive way.  Also, the notion that he can take on different forms means that the Clark Kent secret identity need not be as bad as it currently is.

The costume redesign holds to the basic themes but makes it a little more working class.  The buttons at the top are meant to invoke overalls, and the sleeves are cut a little higher for someone working with their hands.  I’ve removed the spandex and gone with looser fitting slacks, while keeping a short cape and boots, since he’s still an adventurer.

Overall I want to evoke a classic Superman feel while making it a little more modern in its exploration of the sci fi themes.  He’s still basically the same guy:  an alien from another world looking to fight injustice, but without the overt patriotism and a quirkier execution of the secret identity.

*********************

So there you have it.  I’ve hope you’ve enjoyed my superhero costume trilogy!

Part 1: The Best Superhero/Villain Redesigns

Part 2: The Worst Superhero/Villain Redesigns

That Superman is… probably the best redo of Superman I have ever seen, both in looks and backstory. Bravo!

cool stuffff

The Starfire is a no brainer, the Dr. Strange is my new unrequited fictional crush, the Wonder Woman is breath-taking and that take on Superman is one thousand degrees of shit I didn’t know I wanted but I would be so comfortable if they uprooted over 70 years of comic book history to change him into this.

[frogchiro]

Been thinking about Chris in the college AU…

I think he’s a fuckboy, but at his core he has trad sensibilities (because he’s an asshole). So he fucks around with girls at college, but his ultimate goal is to find a nice girl to marry who can stay in his house and raise his kids so she never has to use that pretty little college degree.

Maybe he’s a sophomore now, so he’s still looking to chase tail, not quite ready to find his wife, so he’s not looking very hard.

But then Leon keeps talking about you. And poor Leon… he has no idea that him talking about his crush on you and all of the things he likes about you is like dropping bleeding prey in a shark tank. If Leon had kept his crush a secret, you might never have been noticed by any of them! But now it seems like every guy in his frat wants a piece of you!

And Chris sees you occasionally around campus, in class, almost never at any parties. You’re a good student, well dressed (mostly modest!), with great hips and a great rack (childbearing!!). And one day he sees you sitting with Ashley for coffee, and you take a napkin to wipe some whipped cream from her mouth for her, and Chris has to run back to the house to take a cold shower because he can so easily imagine you doing the same thing to his babies when you have them. What?

You’re almost never at the frat parties, cause you’re a good girl. And when you are, he never sees you go off with any guys, never lets them feel you up, you never get sloppy and drunk like that other sluts that come to these things. You just delicately sip from your cup, smiling and laughing with your little group of friends. You wear such nice jewelry— his ring on your finger would fit so perfectly with your look. What?

And the way you brush off Krauser and Leon when they’re being sleazy and quite frankly, desperate. He might’ve fallen for you at the exact same moment as Krauser. And Chris has such a superiority complex about his attraction to you. Leon just has a stupid little boy crush, Krauser wants to dick you down stupid, and to be honest… he’s not entirely certain what Luis is angling for, but he knows it’s probably not anything virtuous. But Chris wants to make an honest woman outta you 💖 so in his mind, he’s the only one pursuing you for the “right” reasons.

And if you’re friends with Clair, he’s totally taking advantage of that. Fishing for information about you, asking if you maybe have somewhere to go during holiday break…

-🐱

Yeah tbh that sums Chris really well up ;; Also I apologize for not answering sooner I just had a lot going on with uni work and it really hindered my writing attempts </3

And yes, Chris is definitely that type of guy that will fuck any girl that is willing but they are the sluts!! They are the hoes who don't respect themselves and are only after the dick!!1 And he is the nice guy who will fuck them and throw them out afterwards bc he 'doesn't do feelings' or shit like that.

Chris is here only for a good time and ofc experience! Like you said, despite being an asshole and a obnoxious party and fuckboy, he has weirdly traditional values at heart; white picked fence, a sweet stay at home wife with a baby on her hip for who he will gladly provide for as the loving and caring husband and will need all the sexual experience to make his wifey feel good...But he still has time! He is in college for 'all the experiences' more than the education itself and he's not the sharpest tool in the shed with how reckless he is but that's fine!

...Until it isn't

It was all fine and dandy until Leon started to bring you up, some girl he met in class and was gushing over you. Okay, weird enough since Leon wasn't really the gushing type but fair enough, nothing to worry over. But then it started to escalate and Chris started to wonder what is going on with his friend. Leon stopped going on those casual dates, stopped hooking up, never even glanced at another girl and his whining about you got even worse.

The final straw for Chris was when he caught Leon jacking off and filming himself while whining something about 'please respond I send you a cumshot video, now you have to send me a pussy pic, please even a tit pic please-' and Chris knew he had to get to know this girl that made Leon so pussy whipped without even seeing it as far as he knows!

And yeah Chris probably saw you for the first time during that one party where you and your little friend rejected Krauser's advances and Chris almost snorted his drink out and spat on the girl he was flirting with; suits that blonde asshole right, and you're...You're honestly incredible in Chris's eyes. So assertive and composed...Your clothes on the more revealing side, your tits almost spilling out of that dress, fuck...But still nowhere slutty like other girls!

Chris definitely has a weird superiority complex; despite the fact that he's arguably the worst hypocrite out of the group he still believes that his love for you is the only 'real' one; Leon is a dumb horny rich boy with a middle school crush, Krauser will sleaze over pretty girls all the time and Luis is a certified ladies man, he refers to himself in that way for fucks sake! And then there is Chris who wants to wife you up! Isn't he charming?? Just please ignore those girls who complain about the hookups he had with them, they are probably just bitter that he threw them out <3

[stillness-in-green]

Some thoughts on The Discourse about the last BNHA cover

(Note: This Discourse was on Twitter. I don’t know how much of this may have been said here on Tumblr, so consider this either my contribution or just me reporting back on drama from other fronts.)

So, I saw a lot of back and forth over there between people who didn’t like the cover and people who did, and I spent a little while mulling it over. It seemed to me that the people who didn’t like it had a good point, but one they were not articulating particularly well, possibly thanks to the character limit and possibly also because the people talking about it tended to phrase their objections in sarcastic, consciously exaggerated terms because that’s the language months and months of dealing with the truly insufferable Horikoshi Defense Squad on Twitter primed them to use.

So what is the point?  Basically this: In going for the lazy/easy callback in both the cover design and Dai (plate-hair kid)'s role in the final chapter more generally, Horikoshi landed on an "everything comes full circle" ending when what the story desperately needed was an indicator of change.

We didn't need to know that a kid with low self-confidence and nothing to speak of in the quirk department can still become a Pro Hero if he[1] wants to.  We already knew that because it's what the whole story of BNHA was about!  Deku passing the torch/paying it forward is nice if all you care about is Deku's personal arc, but it's sheer reductiveness if you care about literally anything else.  If there was going to be a kid getting Deku's encouragement and help at the end, if that's the ending Hori was absolutely set on, it shouldn't have been the Deku Redux kid; it shouldn't have been the weak kid who has already been metaphorically proven capable of becoming a Hero.

1: And of course it would be a boy.

It should have been the troubled kid, the one from the bad family situation, the one who isn't sure whether he even believes in this Hero thing.  It should have been the kid who, if nothing about Hero Society had changed, would’ve been rejected by the whole corrupt system—in so many words, the Tenko Redux kid.  That's the one who we saw could not become a Hero under the previous system.  That's who we needed to demonstrate the system's improvement.

Instead, all we get is Deku helping himself.  And it fits, I guess, because “himself” is the only sort of person Deku ever wanted to save anyway—remember that in the very first chapter, Deku tells All Might that he wants to be a Hero because he was never “saved” as a kid and so he thinks saving is the coolest thing ever.  Implicitly, then, Deku wanted to be the kind of Hero who could have saved the kid he was, and that tendency to reserve his compassion for people he can recognize himself in—the crying children and the Hero wannabes—is consistent throughout the series.  Dai, then, simply becomes the very last of these examples, the chance for Deku to tell his middle school self that he, too, can be a great Hero.

And that’s quite a choice, isn’t it?  Take a second to consider the implications there. The metaphorical parallel Deku helps is his middle school self, not his childhood self—there’s no evidence that Dai was bullied on the same level young Izuku was, and we sure didn’t see anyone telling him to jump off a roof.  So, who does save those children, then, in this grand, improved version of Hero Society?  Does anyone?

Well, not really. Not that we’re shown. Indeed, the child who was the closest analogue to young Izuku—a weak and seemingly quirkless boy who stuck his neck out for other rejected children, who still stubbornly wanted to be a Hero despite a parent's disapproval—was Tenko, and Deku pointedly did not save him.

To be clear, I don’t mean that just in the sense that Deku failed to save the adult Tenko became, but even in the emotional sense that the series clearly wants me to believe Deku succeeded at, the saving of the boy's heart? I don’t think Deku even managed that.  Sure, he might have protected the echo of that child from a few memories, might have held his hands for a few exchanges of dialogue, but then the boy transformed back into the form of the Villain he'd become and was swallowed down the spiritual maw of the man from whom society failed to save Tenko to begin with! And what was Deku doing as this happened? Absolutely nothing but yelling impotently as he got blown backward and out of the mindscape.

Imagine that Deku had found some way to cheer up Izumi Kouta only for Muscular to kill the kid thirty seconds later.  No one would be saying, “I think Deku still saved him—his heart, anyway,” if Deku got Kouta to smile and admit that Heroes were actually pretty cool only to do nothing but scream helplessly as he watched Muscular pulverize Kouta’s ribcage with one gentle squeeze.[2]

2: Mind you, this comparison is flawed!  Unlike AFO’s vestige, Muscular doesn’t turn up to kill a child as a direct result of Deku’s own actions. Also unlike the events of the final battle, Deku doesn't jump up and personally administer the killing blow to the still-screaming victim, either.

It just leaves me thinking about some of the stuff @codenamesazanka has said about how the narrative treats Shigaraki and Deku helping him: not as something Deku has a duty to do, not something Hero Society on the whole owes Shigaraki (and all the other metaphorical expy/future Shigarakis), but rather a bonus, a nice extra, a demonstration to shine up Deku's Hero cred because he's making efforts no one else would bother with and that no one would reasonably expect him to make. It's not Deku’s job to save the Tenkos or the young Izukus of the world; apparently that just falls to society at large.

So then, what was the point of making Tenko/Tomura such an extreme case of someone who started in a similar place to Deku?  Why make him, also, a weak kid who was told he couldn't be a Hero, if you're not going to have Deku save him in the way no one saved Deku himself?

From where I'm sitting, the answer is, "It seemed like a good idea to Horikoshi at the time, but proved to be poorly thought out."  But if Deku failing to save his own closest childhood analogue was where the story was going the whole time, then Shigaraki should never have been used to parallel Deku to begin with.  It's just a damned waste of Shigaraki as a character, an insult to everything he represented, to use him for ~the parallels~ throughout the entirety of the story except the very beginning and the very end.

Anyway, Pro Heroes are bullshit and the ending should have been them being radically reconceived from the ground up with input from all the people they failed to save.  But again, if you have to still have Heroes-qua-Heroes at the end, and you have to have some stupid thematic echo because you as an author think callbacks are the single most compelling storytelling tool of all time, then everything we got on Dai should have been for Scissors-kun instead, and here I am very much including Dai's scene before the first war. An unsettling scene of a strange child with his mouth sewn shut, stuck in a straitjacket in a dark room should have been the last thing we saw before launching into the day of the raids, an apparent element for the future in the same way that so many future Villains were first shown in the wake of Stain's arrest.

See, Shigaraki’s own destructiveness is what ultimately frees Scissors-kun from the basement, “saving” this rejected, abused child in a way no Hero ever managed or even knew to try, just as Shigaraki brought light and a strange sort of hope to the lives of so many others whom Heroes failed.  However, Shigaraki couldn't carry his ambitions through to the end. He was never able to meet the kid he indirectly saved, never able to offer that appallingly abused victim an avenue for his signature brand of rough justice. Heroes stopped him from doing so. So then, who will help Scissors-kun?

If we’re to believe that the story's protagonist has made a real difference, that Deku and his classmates have changed the world for the better, then we don't need to see them helping a kid who we already know is going to turn out fine because “he” aleady did. We need to see them help the people that previously only Villains would have helped, picking up the torch they struck from Shigaraki’s hands.

So sure, keep the scene with Granny Evil and Scissors-kun if you must, to show that it’s not only Heroes but also the broader Hero Society that’s changed. After that, though, show Deku stepping in.  Show him taking an interest in this kid as a way to keep his promises—to Shigaraki, that the rejection and obliviousness that he sought to destroy have indeed been destroyed and will remain so, and to Spinner, that Deku will remember Shigaraki for the rest of his life. 

When Deku is older and in a position to give advice to a kid who’s floundering and uncertain of what to do with his life because of what people around him say about him, make that character echo the characters the old system failed to save, not the character who the entire story proved would do just fine.

For god's sake, ditch Deku Redux.

Now, I know the obvious rejoinder here: We can’t use Deku’s story to say that BNHA already showed us that Dai would be fine because Dai has a quirk where Deku did not, therefore Deku’s path would not be open to Dai.  To this, I would reply that neither Deku nor Dai specify that Dai wants/is able to be a top Hero, merely that he be the kind of Hero people can admire—which the story has also already proven true!

Ojiro got into UA with nothing but one (1) extra limb.

Manual has a perfectly middling quirk that turned out to be absolutely crucial in two different wars because it was the right quirk at the right time.

Wash’s quirk makes strong bubbles. 

Like, this list is not short.  Manifest Plates might or might not make Dai Hero Billboard material, but one of the major points of the endgame was the sublime and noble value of helping when you can, in the way that you can.  So to reiterate, we didn’t need that to be proven again in the epilogue.

If anything, going the route of retreading the same story makes the epilogue much worse! Not only do we not get to see how this society is helping the people the old society most profoundly failed—victims who fall through the cracks and become Villains—but in seeing yet another a weak kid being mocked for his heroic aspirations, we find that we’ve barely moved a step beyond the exact same place we started.

That’s the message Horikoshi chose to go with, for both the closing chapters of the story and the story’s final volume cover.  Truly, as art that summarizes the story goes, it’s a masterful choice!  And that's the whole problem. The cover of Volume 42 is a perfect illustration of the self-absorbed, cynical, cyclical nature of BNHA's endgame. Little wonder, then, that it's hated by the same people who hated said endgame.

[ckret2]

I'd been meaning to do this since I found your account but today I read through the entirety of your Goldielocks fic (or at least, what's available) and all I can say is WOW !!!!!

You're really fucking good at writing these characters, capturing the lighthearted-yet-somehow-serious tone of the show, and the stuff you make up for worldbuilding fits right in with canon stuff. As a lover of making things canon-compliant and in-spirit-of-canon, this fic is like a dream come true. You're an amazing author !

I really look forward to your post-TBOB edits of the eclipse arc and the flatworld arc, I can already kind of guess where you're gonna go with it, but it's still exciting to think about what direction you might take things.

I'm also wondering, are you planning on changing anything about the Death Valley girls, what with the info we got about ciphertology and the like ? Or keeping them relatively the same ?

(I stayed up till almost midnight reading this - I'm so glad I don't have to be anywhere early tomorrow)

Thank you!! I've discussed my TBOB edits of the eclipse arc already, you can see some of them here if you want.

For the flatworld arc, I actually think basically nothing's going to change. Spoilers, but: Bill's world was never gonna be like Flatworld. It was gonna be a big reveal late in the fic ("big" for the characters, not the readers lmao) that Bill's world was actually pretty okay—like yeah, a few flaws, but not "barely-exaggerated satire of Victorian-era ableism/sexism/classism" flaws—and everything the kids read in Flatworld that made them pity Bill was 100% bullshit. It was going to turn out that Bill's world is actually...

... pretty much fucking exactly like Euclydia ended up being in canon—up to and including baby Bill getting medical trauma over having a super-rare cool-ass eye mutation that lets him see the stars of the third dimension.

I was gonna have Bill go "oh yeah, that's why I drove the author insane, I was that pissed at him for making my home world look that bad. I didn't correct you guys because I thought it'd be useful if you pitied me."

I did this because, before TBOB came out, I knew that no matter what I wrote about Bill's home dimension, probably a good 20% of readers would just push it to the side and automatically assume that his dimension was exactly the same as Flatland—like, occasionally readers were making comments about my fic talking about how triangles ***ARE*** oppressed in his home dimension like it was a canonical fact and taking it as a given that I was writing that. For that 20%, it seemed to me like the best way to ensure it got through to them that whoa, this isn't Flatland would be to have the characters assume his dimension is exactly the same as Flatland so that I could say, in story, "no that's totally wrong."

Post-TBOB, a lot fewer readers are gonna make that assumption. But having the characters assume his dimension is a lot worse than it really is is still a part of the story—it ties into the narrative of them slowly growing to expect him to be something more sympathetic/heroic than he actually is, a la Dipper's assumption that the Axolotl poem is a prophecy about how Bill will help save them—so there's no reason for me to take it out.

So yeah, tl;dr: Flatworld doesn't need to change because it was always going to be wrong.

I'm only gonna change the Death Valley girls a little bit. Everything I've currently written about them stays the same; except I'm also gonna mention that, yes, they are a Ciphertology sect, and yes, all the girls in the cult are Cipherwives.

So now I also get to crack jokes about Bill being both flattered and a little creeped out that even after he mostly ditched the cult they just kept inducting new recruits as "cipherwives" whether he showed up or not, like wow, you're just gonna marry him off in absentia to some lady he's never met??? What if he doesn't wanna marry her? What if he doesn't like her haircut?? Every time he shows up he finds out he's got a new wife! He loves the attention, but jeez, girls! At least send him a letter with his new bride's picture and wait for him to mail back an "OK" or something!

[hypnoneghoul]

Symbol on the Surface Chapter 13

WC: 1,5k

Relationship: SwissAlps

Tags: Transmasc Swiss, Pregnancy, Mild Dysphoria, Fluff

“Do you know what ‘seahorse dad’ means?”

Notes: Tysm to @jimothybarnes for beta reading :3

Chapter 1 here or on AO3.

Read chapter 13 under the cut or on AO3.

It has always been rare for Swiss to feel dysphoric, and even though he’s been experiencing it more since he started showing, it still doesn’t happen that much.

It’s only sometimes that he’ll catch a glimpse of his reflection somewhere and fall down an ugly spiral that he has to be fished out of by his mate.

By the time Christmas comes around, Swiss is five months pregnant and he is huge.

Being ghouls, they don’t really celebrate Christmas, but everyone loves the atmosphere and the fun of it, so every year they simply…skip the christian parts. Most of the Abbey does; it’s a big thing and the name of the festivities is up to everyone’s personal preference—Christmas, Yule, Winter Solstice, or nothing at all.

One of Swiss and Mountain’s favorite parts about that time are sweaters. They love getting matching Christmas sweaters that half the world’s population would cringe at; they have so many stuffed in the back of their closet—waiting for their time to shine year after year.

Unfortunately, this year they have not accounted for Swiss’ current size. It’s been so busy, neither of them thought about the sweaters until they saw someone else wearing them and remembered about their little custom.

The multi ghoul tries. He looks for the most stretchy sweater there is and gets Mountain’s, instead of his own. They are a little oversized, anyway, it should work.

More or less…

“It’s okay if it doesn’t fit, darling, we don’t have to wear them this year,” Mountain assures him, but he knows Swiss won’t budge—and it’s not only about the damn sweater. It’s about tradition, but also about how his body is changing. He doesn’t particularly like it.

Swiss grunts as he wiggles into the sweater—refusing his mate’s offer of help—and eventually he does get it stretched over his baby bump, but the knitwear is holding on for dear life.

Mountain sighs, looking down at a strangely distorted reindeer. He looks up at the multi ghoul’s face when he hears him sniffle, though, and his heart breaks a little.

“Oh, my darling…” he coos, coming up to Swiss to hug him. “It’s okay, we can find you a different one that doesn’t squeeze you so much. Maybe Aether or Omega have something.”

“It’s not–not about the sweater,” the multi ghoul cries, whining into Mountain’s neck.

“What is it then, my heart?” he asks gently as he rubs Swiss’ back.

“I look like a sack of potatoes! How can you even look at me, I’m all swollen, and then there’s these–these fucking stretchmarks, and–and…” he sobs, but the last part seems to get stuck in his throat.

Mountain wants to know what he’s working with before he addresses every single concern of his mate. He also knows that it’s going to make everything worse if Swiss keeps some part of it in, so he prods gently, “What’s the ‘and’ about?”

The multi ghoul sighs before shoving his face further into the other’s neck to mumble out something incomprehensible.

“My heart, you know I didn’t catch that.” Swiss groans, but moves his face.

“I look like a woman…” he mutters; still quietly, but understandably now.

“My darling,” Mountain starts, pulling back to look into his mate’s eyes when he speaks, “my beloved mate, light of my life, I need you to listen to me, okay?”

He waits for Swiss to nod before carrying on, “You’ve grown because you are carrying our children inside you. Our kits, our babies; you’re going to give them life, bring them into this world! I can only imagine how it feels, and I wish I could take all the hardships of it away from you, but it truly is a wonderful thing and I couldn’t be more proud of you. You do not look like a sack of potatoes, or a woman. You look absolutely beautiful, my handsome man, and I know you can see in my eyes that I mean every single word. Can you not?”

“I can…” the multi ghoul replies quietly—as if ashamed that he’s even dared to doubt his mate. “I love you.”

“I love you, too, my heart,” Mountain smiles and brings Swiss close again for a tight—albeit careful—hug. It lasts a good couple minutes before the earth ghoul notices that his mate starts to shift his feet in discomfort; even though he doesn’t say anything. The earth ghoul pulls away. 

“Do you know what ‘seahorse dad’ means?” he asks, suddenly having remembered something that Rain had mentioned to him a couple weeks ago.

“I don’t think so…” Swiss admits.

“When seahorses make babies, it’s the males that carry them,” Mountain explains. “Apparently trans men that get pregnant are called seahorse dads because of that.”

Swiss stares at him with his mouth slightly agape for a moment. It turns into a smile before he bursts into tears again. The hormones have really turned him into a mess.

“That’s so cuteee,” he all but wails, his crying now cuteness-induced, instead of…the other kind of crying. Mountain considers it a win.

“It is,” he chuckles, wiping Swiss’ tears away, “let’s lay down and I’ll show you some pictures, hm?”

“Okay,” he sniffles and follows his mate to the bed. He cringes at the tight sweater he’s still trapped in, though. “Ough, help me out of this damn contraption.”

Mountain laughs, but helps free him, indeed.

“I’ll text the group chat and get you a sweater for this year, my heart,” he promises, and Swiss doesn’t doubt it. He knows that if Mountain didn’t manage to find one to borrow, he’d make one from scratch overnight—just so his mate wouldn’t be upset. That’s how much he loves him.

The earth ghoul lays down first and Swiss joins him right away. He snuggles himself into Mountain’s side, resting his stomach against his mate’s hip and his face in the crook of his neck. Swiss inhales deeply, trilling at that familiar scent he loves so much; the smell of the first days of summer.

As promised, Mountain gets out his phone and sends out the ‘sweater wanted’ text first, then moving onto TikTok to find some seahorse dads for Swiss—both the actual fish and pregnant trans men. The former makes the multi ghoul shed some more cuteness-tears, and the latter succeeds in boosting his confidence and chasing the dysphoria away.

They stay in bed for a little while—as they’ve been doing most of their time for the last couple weeks. Swiss needs all the rest he can get and Mountain doesn’t want to step away from him for even a second. He doesn’t have anything better to do, anyways; all his outside work is paused for the winter after he and the other earth ghouls have secured everything against the cold.

So Swiss and Mountain keep snuggling—the earth ghoul caressing the other’s stomach as he purrs—until a phone buzzes somewhere. It got lost in the sheets, but once it’s recovered, the multi ghoul chirps happily at the message.

It’s from Omega, he sent Mountain a couple photos of the sweaters he has and could not only borrow, but give away. Apparently, every time they were on tour in the winter, Terzo had gotten the older quintessence ghoul a silly Christmas sweater, so he’s got plenty.

“I can go get them right now,” Mountain offers, “got any favorites, darling?”

“Hm…” Swiss stares at the pictures, zooming in and out and thoroughly analyzing every sweater offered. The earth ghoul gives him time and after a moment he makes his decision. “This one!”

Mountain smiles, kisses Swiss on the forehead and jumps out of bed to go grab it. Omega’s only downstairs, so it’s only a moment. The multi ghoul uses that time to go to the bathroom—it’s not a quick business nowadays.

When his mate returns with the sweater, Swiss is ecstatic. He’s buzzing with excitement and if he weren’t pregnant, he’d be jumping up and down. Mountain laughs as he helps him wiggle into the sweater and while it’s clear that it wasn’t made with pregnant people in mind, it fits nearly perfectly.

The earth ghoul could just about cry, seeing his mate so happy over something so…basic and small. He brings him in for a hug.

“Merry Christmas,” Swiss purrs, nuzzling the side of his face against his mate’s.

“Merry Christmas, my heart,” Mountain whispers before kissing him—deeply, but softly. When they pull away for breath, the earth ghoul winks and gets down on his knees before Swiss.

At first he thinks he’s about to get a naughty early gift, but instead of pulling down his pants, Mountain pulls up the bottom of his—not that long ago Omega’s—sweater. Swiss looks down at him with his brows furrowed in confusion as his mate kisses his bump.

“Merry Christmas to you, too, little ones,” Mountain mumbles and Swiss tears up once again.

Taglist: @arkeusruin @skele-bunny @everybodyshusband @ratsummer @jazz-bazz @mac-and-thefox @karmicbias @wine-irytatus @ghoultrifle (if anyone from here wants to be removed lmk, and also if anyone else wants to be added)

[derww]

DEVOTIONS WEEK DAY 4: ANIMALS/OBJECTS

Okay, the thing is: Zam goes to the Kings SMP, spends several weeks in a bloody meat grinder, fights back to back with Minute and Mapicc and Jepexx against the world and somewhere in the process realizes herself to be a girl.

It's not bad: she swaps her crown for an elegant tiara, and her pretty kitty princess blade hits exactly on target and holds in her hand like a glove, and the dress turns out to be much more comfortable than an almost formal suit.

She spends the rest of the season so at ease with herself – even after losing her magic blade, she does not return to her former self, but rushes around the server, ready to destroy anything, and, in the end, reunited with the blade, counts it as her happy ending.

And then it's time to return to the Lifesteal, and she lowkey expects that her dress, like in the Cinderella, will turn into rags, but she, Minute, Mapicc and Jepexx activate the teleport, and Minute holds her gloved hand, making sure of a safe landing, and they appear on a flying an island in the center of the spawn, and... Nothing changes. Even her pretty blade, despite everything, remains hanging on her belt.

For a moment, while everyone is still recovering and looking around, she just stares into the sky, and then, experimentally, lightly stabs Minute into the side. He curses and lets go of her hand, and a cat falls at their feet with a long meeeeeow. She looks at it, running around and scratching Minute's feet, with mild amusement.

Oh. Oooh. Okay!

In the end, it is kinda nice: everyone, as it happens usually on the Lifesteal, just roll with it and she changes her dress for the black one with purple accents, and cats help her push players into the void, and in return she makes them a corner in the skull base and feeds them with fish washed up by the waves. Pangi is being heavily liked by one of them for some reason. He names him Cheeseburger.

(For some reason, cats don't like Jumper. She wonders if it's because of their experience on Kings)

Cat ears make her much more sensitive and observant, allowing her to detect enemies and hide from them just as successfully, and also – to lie at night on an icy bedrock and listen to the measured whisper of the Abyss. Sometimes Mapicc joins her, but he doesn't quite hear it, and she describes it to him.

It simultaneously changes everything significantly and really does not. Her dress is elegant but shorter than she would like, and she doesn't wear heels, and her scar – her pride – is not going anywhere, and she still kills people and herself, but everything seems to be half a tone better than it was.

Mapicc grumbles about the need to retrain for her movements changed under the new center of gravity, and also about her too–long hair getting in the way, and she eventually ties it into a high ponytail and it instantly shuts him up. They fit her blade into their normal formations – backstabs do great damage, and cats push and interfere with enemies, and they are forcing opponents to always think about one more thing.

One day she makes a mistake and falls into the void and dies, and it's hard, but she accepts it because she knows that one day it was bound happen. The Abyss demands all kinds of sacrifices, she tells herself, and I must always be ready to give her everything, including myself. Bacon gifts her an elegant rapier crowned with stars, and she continues to live because it was not the blade that defined her.

But one day, in the dead of night, walking through the void, with bare feet on the great nothingness, listening to the eternal whisper of absolute knowledge and dancing under the new moon, the Abyss speaks to her. And it's not like She's never talked to her before, but this is the first time she's been alone.

My child, the Abyss whispers, overwhelming her with an invisible pressure, I have something that belongs to you by the right.

As if enchanted, she pulls her hand forward, and intently, and slowly, as if with effort, squeezes her fingers until she feels the icy metal of the handle, and nothingness separates the blade from the ink.

This is her blade, absolutely it is, but it is darker, almost completely black, and only rare gaps in the folds reveal the familiar deep blue.

She smiles.

"Thank you, lady," she says from the bottom of her heart, and the tension around her evaporates with a dry click.

[victoriadallonfan]

End of Act 1 - Author Thoughts

So, this concludes Act 1 of Dead Eye. 

​It's been a struggle for me to write this afterthought piece, because I have learned so much from writing this original story.

This was not the first time I've written original fiction, of course. I had a brief attempt at a web serial back in late 2016 (I can't even remember the name of it), I've written numerous short fiction stories for Reddit Writing Prompts, and I've dropped some short stories here in Creative Writing in the past. Not to mention contest submissions over the years IRL (nothing gained unfortunately).

However, what made this different is that I actually committed to the act of finishing an entire arc and do my best to flesh out the characters as much as possible. I kept a plan, I followed it, and I tried to make it enjoyable for the readership.

​Admittedly, going from the hundreds of likes and views of my fanfic to the thirty or dozen on these posts felt initially disheartening. 

Initially.

But then I realized that I wasn't thinking about things in perspective. I was no longer using larger fandoms as a crutch for engagement or relying on readers already having a basic understanding of the characters: I was needing to WORK and gain the TRUST of the readers for a totally experimental project.

And bonus, I got amazing comments and analysis each chapter, with people seeming to really enjoy the mystery and action I wrote. I got people investing in characters in just a little under 30k words, which I think is pretty darn decent!

Is there room for improvement? Yes, absolutely. I ended up unhappy with how little screen time Milian got, but a lot of my plans for him involved future plot points that couldn't fit within 6 chapters that I challenged myself. I struggled a lot with describing the city (because I find building descriptions boring), and perhaps I made the tension between Sabra and Persa a bit too thick?

More things I could discuss on that, but there are also things I'm proud of. I really enjoyed the action set pieces and how I distinguished character behavior. I really like that my magic system (based on me noticing how special eyes are so prevalent in fiction, why not make an entire system set around them?) flowed so easily for me to write, and that it allowed me to do fun things with the world. Giant glowing eyeball in the sky makes me giggle all the time.

​So, what is the plan going forward?

For now, there will be a small intermission. I would like to get back into Janus and HITF, maybe do some other fanworks too, just to flex my brain a bit from being in Persa's pov for so long.

The plan is that after a month or two, I will then return for Dead Eye - Act 2 for another 6 arc continuation.

Finally, I want to say: Thank You

Thank you to everyone who supported me, be it by like, comment, or Ko-Fi donation. It was you who kept me going, and made me achieve a dream of becoming an actual author of original fiction.

I promise I won't let you down!

[writing-till-i-am-dead]

Only Star In The Sky - Jayvik

Viktor had never in his life met such a man as Jayce. Someone so strong and determined. Fascinated with breakthroughs and news discoveries. He really was a man after his own heart. 

But even still, he never really saw him. Days of Jayce working in the forge, or going out to give speeches. The times they get to spend most of together is the late nights in their lab when they should really be getting some sleep. Nothing but discoveries, machines, science, and Jayce. Viktor loves those nights.

But now.. Councilman Jayce? He scoffs lightly, nearly dropping his wrench. How will he balance the time? Scientist, working in the forge, councilman, and… Mel. And what about him? Where does he, Viktor, fit into that equation? This is why he just wishes he didn’t have to deal with these emotions. Emotions are just a hindrance upon humanity. He’s tried expressing those thoughts to Jayce, though, and he seemed rather perturbed by the idea. So maybe Viktor is the only one who believes that. 

“Viktor!” He jumps when Jayce explodes into the lab. He hasn’t stepped foot in here all week. 

“Jayce,” he responds, turning in his chair. 

“Sorry I haven’t been able to come in to help. Things have been busy. Mel, she uh-“

Viktor’s brain immediately started to ignore whatever it is that Jayce was saying as soon as he mentioned Mel. It’s not that he doesn’t like her. He really doesn’t. She’s confident and she gave them the chance to work on Hextech. She made them stars, not that that’s really what he wanted, but as long as he’s with Jayce, it���s not too bad. She’s not a bad person. But lately he just gets this.. exhausted feeling every time her name is brought up. A different kind of exhausted than he’s used to. 

Jayce takes a seat and rolls it over to Viktor’s side. “So, what are we working on?”

Viktor slowly raises his head. “Just fixing this one bit in the Hexgate.”

Jayce nods, eager to get back into working in the lab, leans over Viktor’s shoulder. “Need help with anything?”

“No..” Viktor says, shaking his head and Jayce nods. 

“Ok..” he says, moving a bit away from him. He thumps his pencil against the desk. “So, anything that I’ve missed?”

“No, not really.”

“No.. great discoveries?”

“No.”

“Ok,” Jayce says, leaning back in his chair. He could sense that there was something wrong with Viktor, but he couldn’t tell what. But whatever it was was making the room extremely stifling to be in. 

He tilts his head towards Viktor, looking at what he was working on. Days like these used to be some of his favorites. No words needed to really be spoken because they had their work and each other. But this was different. Jayce had no idea what the work was. He had no idea what Viktor was thinking. The room wasn’t comforting. 

Viktor worked deftly, and he always did. It’s what made him such a great partner. That and his brilliant thoughts, his ideas and presence. 

Seeing him work at his desk alone, though, was a strange sight. He felt like an outside observer. A person stargazing, rather than a star himself, with Viktor. 

“Viktor,” Jayce says. 

Viktor raises his head slightly. He looked so.. tired. But why wouldn’t he be? Working in the lab alone, plus his illness on top of it. 

“I just want to say, thanks for holding down the lab while I’ve been busy.”

Viktor stared at him with a neutral look before nodding a bit and looking back down at his work. “It’s no problem,” he says. 

Jayce frowns. “Well, it’s just that this means a lot. Seriously. Thanks, Viktor.”

Means a lot. Viktor almost scoffs. He wants to say how hurt he is, how mad he is. But when he looks up at Jayce, that hurt seems to just disappear. Affection. Affection is what’s holding him back. 

The door opens, followed by the clacking of heels. 

“Mel,” Jayce says. 

“You’re needed for a meeting, Jayce.” She turns toward Viktor and nods in greeting. Viktor does an awkward half wave before turning back. 

Jayce turns to his partner. “Um.. I’ll be back. Promise.”

“Of course,” Viktor says, knowing that ‘being back’ Will not be any time soon. 

He watches Jayce leave, about to put his arm around Mel’s shoulder, but stopping himself upon realizing it would be unprofessional to do during work. 

The doors close and the room seems to darken, leaving Viktor the dullest star in the world. 

Border by @enchanthings

[maniacwatchestheworld]

The Aesthetics and Environmental Storytelling of the Society of the Blind Eye

This is the third post to try and make sure that we're all on the same page as to where I get my ideas and thoughts about the Society of the Blind Eye! So in the last part I discussed the Blind Eye's symbol and how it can be used to indicate that they oppose Bill Cipher. If you thought that I was pulling that idea out of my ass in the previous post, then guess what! I have further evidence of it! And that evidence is the hideout of the Society of the Blind Eye itself! Because if you pay attention, it seems that the Society's hideout was built on top of the bones of a temple dedicated to Bill Cipher!

Now it's not too outrageous to think that there was probably a cult dedicated to Bill Cipher in Gravity Falls at some point, right? It's never mentioned in Journal 3 nor the Book of Bill, but Gravity Falls is very much a place of interest to Bill Cipher, and his influence there stretches back thousands upon thousands of years. And the hideout where the Society now resides... It honestly doesn't seem like something they would have constructed themselves. In fact, it seems to have originally been a temple to Bill Cipher that the Society has since retrofitted to fit their own purposes.

The connections between Bill Cipher and the Society's hideout are evident from the very outset with trying to get into the hideout in the first place.

Now obviously eyes are a symbol and motif that Bill Cipher and the Blind Eye both share. This room doesn't necessarily hint at a connection to the hideout and Bill Cipher inherently, right? To that I say, look at image above the door and secondly, to get into the Blind Eye's lair...

Well then, that's just a Bill Cipher right there! A triangle with an eye in the middle of it? You could even make the argument that the etchings indicating the X could be a stylized depiction of Bill's eyelashes! No hat or bow tie, sure, but that's still very much a Bill within the context of this series!

Now once you start making your way into the Blind Eye's lair, it's very clear that this place is old. Very old. Much much older than the building above it.

This place is entirely made of stone with no insulation. It's lit and probably heated by fire. This place is starting to crumble and fall apart, the cracks in the walls being held together by metal brackets.

By contrast the building above it...

It's a modern building with the electricity being wired through the walls and a modern lighting and heating system that's not dissimilar to what you'd normally expect out of any other building in Gravity Falls! Sure, it looks like there might be some cracks and dents in the plaster on the walls, but it's nothing too worrying or indicative of these structures falling apart! The building's been around for a while. And given the pneumatic tubes that Fiddleford likely had to have installed both within the Blind Eye's lair and the museum above it himself, that means that this building had to have been around for ~30 years at minimum. But that's nothing compared to how old the structure beneath it seems to be. It really does seem that the hideout had to have been built first and then the museum was later built on top of it. And the Society has just not been around long enough for them to have been the ones to have built the hideout!

Besides. It's a bit of an odd fit, right? A cult built around the idea of forgetting their own pasts placed underneath a location dedicated to remembering and maintaining objects from the past...? Or maybe it's just some delicious irony. I mean, the memories that they had erased are kept down there too after all. But if this building was originally run by a Bill Cipher cult...? Oh yeah! That absolutely makes sense! Of COURSE Bill would want his temple hidden underneath a museum! He basically IS human history after all, right!? He's had a hand in so many historical people's lives, events, and is part of their cultures! A temple dedicated to him underneath a museum that would basically be a shrine full of artifacts dedicated to him? He'd LOVE that! I mean, Ford had to get his various pieces of Bill Cipher memorabilia for his shrine/home from SOMEWHERE, right!? Additionally...

What right and under what circumstances would the Society be allowed to have these ancient Egyptian artifacts!??? Why would the Society even WANT something like these!? The Society has nothing to do with Egypt and their artifacts, so why are these here!??? But if this place was originally dedicated to Bill Cipher... Well then... That ENTIRELY makes sense!! OF COURSE there would be ancient Egyptian artifacts in a temple to Bill Cipher! He was the inspiration for the pyramids!

I also want you to take note of that light and how you can see the electrical wiring that powers it coming out of it and running along the wall. That's a clear indication that this building was built before electricity would or could have been installed into this lair and that the electricity was installed later. Another indication that the hideout is likely much MUCH older than the building on top of it!

And as one more pretty definitive piece of evidence that this lair had originally been built by a Bill Cipher cult... THESE PILLARS!!!

Now do those symbols look familiar from somewhere...? Well, some of them pretty heavily feature triangles and have a very Bill-adjacent aesthetic to them... But then there's also THIS!

Here you can see that those symbols on the pillars ARE Bill Cipher symbols! It's very likely that those symbols have always been there, long long before the Society took up residence within these temple walls! From this, I think that it's pretty clear to say that this hideout existed LONG before the Society of the Blind Eye existed, and that a group of people who dedicated themselves to Bill Cipher inhabited it long before the Society became the modern, current day inhabitants of it.

... But as the modern day inhabitants of this space, it doesn't seem that the Blind Eye cares much for preserving the historical sanctity of this place.

The Society seems to have taken what was there since long before them and vandalized it to suit their own iconograpy and purposes. Just like their very symbol. The evidence that I've shown thus far could be used to suggest that Bill Cipher had influence on the Society of the Blind Eye and perhaps used the Society to enact his own desires in the physical world, but I don't personally buy that idea because A) It would be EXCEEDINGLY dangerous for Bill to do so and B) The lack of care and in fact blatant defacing of this temple's features suggests the opposite to me! Hell, they don't even keep the place clean!!

Other than the main chamber: Canisters. EVERYWHERE! Entirely unorganized as far as we can tell. Hoarded in piles on the floors, not even on the tables that seem to have just been placed in here willy-nilly! Put into crates without a care. It's a mess! And that's not even mentioning the pneumatic tubes!

The pneumatic tubes were certainly not built at the same time as this structure and must have been installed later, likely by Fiddleford himself! They curve around everything, bracketed into place along walls and columns alike! And when they do go through the pillars...

Where the tubes go through the walls and columns, the stone is cracked, holes probably having been driven into them without a care or thought about how that would effect the building's structural integrity. The sheer number of pneumatic tubes and the haphazard way they seem to have been placed everywhere is likely even more of a reflection to how much Fiddleford had damaged himself and his own mind as he desperately sought to forget. And in that state, Fiddleford probably didn't even think nor care to think about what he was doing and how it would effect this base of theirs. And besides. What would it matter? This was a temple to Bill Cipher before them. And certainly no one would remember being in such a cult after the Society was done with the town.

And so that's all I really have to say about that. The Society's aesthetic is cool! You could call it something akin to Steampunk, but I think that the better keyword here is retrofitted. Or perhaps its darker counterpart- defaced. After all, retrofitting is something that Fiddleford does all the time and is all about!

Using bottle caps to make memory guns, mattress springs and jugs to make sea monsters. And I imagine that the Society was built much the same way... But in a darker sense. Taking the remnants of a temple to Bill Cipher, destroying its previous aesthetic and purpose and making it suit his own to create a cult of his own that would wipe away people's memories from them until he himself would deface his own memories so thoroughly that he could only become a mere shadow of who he used to be. Very tragic for Fiddleford himself. But a very interesting implied history and aesthetic for the rest of us!

[otomes-and-tears]

please analyze Pran.. my wife.. i need more content about him and i Love the way you analyze shiloh so..

OH, YOU WANT ME TO TALK ABOUT PRAN?!? YOUR WISH IS MY COMMAND! It's sad hours, so let me talk a little about attachment theory since it really struck me when I first played Pran's route. Attachment theory, in essence, is about how the relationships you had as a kid, especially with your parents or caregivers, shape how you connect with others later in life. Basically, if you felt safe, cared for, and supported as a kid, you’re more likely to form healthy, secure relationships as an adult. But if your caregivers were inconsistent, abusive, neglectful, or even overbearing, it can impact how you relate to others later in your life.

The theory originated from an experiment in the 70s where babies around 12-18 months old were put into a controlled environment with their mothers. They played with toys while their mom was present, establishing how the baby normally behaved with their mom around, and later on, a stranger walked into the room, establishing how they reacted to strangers while their mom was around. Moments later their mother walked out of the room, leaving the baby alone with the stranger. The baby usually got scared and distressed, and then their mother was instructed to walk back into the room-- that's the most crucial part of the experiment: how the child reacts to the reunion. Based on their behavioural patterns, Ainsworth identified three main attachment styles:

1- Secure: Where the baby got upset when their mom left, but calmed down quickly once she returned. It signalled that the babies trusted that their mother would return, found comfort in her, and were easily soothed when distressed. It signalled that their caregivers were attentive to their needs and present. 2- Anxious-Ambivalent: The baby got significantly more distressed when the mom left and had trouble calming down after she returned, clinging to their parent while also appearing mad at them. Tend to be clingy and fear leaving their caregiver's side. It signals a lack of a feeling of security from the child towards their parent and an inconsistent response to the child's emotional needs. 3- Insecure-Avoidant: The baby didn't seem to get upset by the mother leaving and didn't seem to care when she returned. Doesn't seek any comfort from the mother and doesn't interact with the stranger. Highly independent, can signal that they're independent from their caregivers, who don't fulfil the child's emotional needs.

Later on, in the mid-eighties, other researchers identified another attachment style based on new research:

4- Disorganised-insecure: A mix of avoidant and anxious reactions, tending to be unpredictable.

So… Where does Pran fit into all of this? Well, if you've played his route, you might be familiar with his backstory. If you haven't, fear not, for I have screenshots!

I remember this scene being like a punch in the gut to me. I had been whining about not really enjoying his route because I didn't get him the way I did with the other characters, but this specific scene put everything into perspective.

Pran was highly neglected as a child. Neither his physical or emotional needs were met by his parents, who he describes as hippies. Due to their beliefs, Pran was "homeschooled, " which alienated him from other children and affected his socialization skills. He's shown to be anxious and quiet as a kid, not really engaging with anyone and keeping those he meets at arms-length, a trait he still maintains later on in life.

He was also a people pleaser. His grandparents wanted him to get a better education and firmly opposed the way his parents raised him (and hated his father), so they were constantly at odds with Pran's parents. In his attempts to try and please his grandparents, he'd anger his parents, and in his attempts to anger his parents, he'd anger his grandparents. Since no one was ever happy, no matter what he chose, he chose to do nothing at all. He's closed off and a contrarian as a consequence of the neglect he suffered, and of being used by his family as a pawn in their in-fighting.

I think a lot of his behaviour is consistent with an Insecure-Avoidant type. His forced independence, the neglect he suffered, learning to mask his feelings and avoiding voicing them because he feared they wouldn't be heard. And all of this affected his relationships in the future. They're functional, utilitarian.

We see with JB how their entire relationship is entirely dependent on her insistence, and the effort that she puts in. No matter how many times she reiterates her interest, or tries to engage with him, he always seems to shut her down and insist that he doesn't care, even though he does genuinely grow to like her. Those are behaviours he adheres to to make others avoid him-- and since JB, above all, is someone who craves praise and attention, in theory, it should be the easiest way to make himself unappealing to her. But she stays. And Pran still withdraws, he isn't used to being able to rely on other people aside from himself (and later Jeremy) so he's unused to it. All his relationships before her were entirely physical and superficial so he could avoid the emotional labour.

Beneath the surface, I think Pran feels lonely and misunderstood. He's scared of admitting he cares and opening himself up to be a disappointment again. It's a sick way of feeling safe. His self-esteem is wrapped by his experiences-- your caregivers are the first figures you look up to for validation. The lack of positive attention, be it support, acknowledgement and their inconsistent at best presence in his life, not to mention his isolation from other kids which made him straight up lack other forms of external support and validation, made his sense of self-worth extremely low. Beneath the surface, I think Pran feels lonely and misunderstood. He's scared of admitting he cares and opening himself up to be a disappointment again. He prefers to pretend to be cold and aloof because it means that people expect nothing from him. And if they don't expect anything, it means he can't be a disappointment. He can't be rejected if he doesn't invest himself in a relationship in the first place.

That might have also stunted his ability to recognise and process his emotions in a healthy way, which could've manifested as an apparent numbness in his teen years.

Before anyone gets too depressed, this isn't a life sentence. I think that by opening himself up (in a way) to a relationship in the first place, Pran took a huge step in breaking that cycle. As pushy as JB can be, I do believe that she genuinely cares about her partner, and sticking around and reiterating her interest, engaging with him even when he does all in his power to push her away, could perhaps act like a positive to him.

If he thinks of himself as someone broken and unfixable, she shows him that he's worth the trouble.

[kind-of-a-writer]

The Party (18+)

Gator Tillman x fem!reader Part 2 of The Backseat

You run into Gator at a party. You seem to care too much. 

wc: 3k contains: cheating, semi-public (bathroom) sex, name-calling, mostly-mean gator, unprotected sex, lmk if i missed anything

You knew you’d have to see him again eventually. It was a small fucking town, and it didn’t help you often ran in the same circles. You just didn’t expect Gator to be standing with her, with her prissy demeanor and his arm around her waist, seamlessly getting along with his friends that you always hated. They were laughing, she was placing her hand on his chest. You didn’t know her name, the town wasn’t that small. But her face was familiar enough to piss you off. 

The loud music was making your head pound, and no amount of alcohol was helping soothe the irritation you were feeling. You were bored of this party already and it hadn’t even been more than an hour. You weren’t even sure whose house this was. 

After your run-in with Gator just a few weeks ago, you had left his place reeling with insurmountable feelings of guilt because of what you had done. You had a boyfriend, and it was wrong. But you’d done everything right since then. You were avoiding Gator, not that he made much effort to talk to you in front of other people. But the one time you saw your parents talking to Roy Tillman after a church service, Gator lingering right behind him, and it was enough to make your heart jump up to your throat when he glanced at you briefly.

And here your boyfriend was, with his arm around your waist, rambling to you and some of your friends about a story you couldn’t even bother to pay attention to. 

The problem with hooking up with Gator a few weeks ago is that it reminded you of everything you had tried really hard to forget when you first broke up. His stupid face and his smug attitude and oh, God, his big cock that always satisfied you in a way Jake just couldn’t, even if he tried. Not that he did.

Amidst trying to seem like you were paying attention to whatever your boyfriend was talking about, your eyes drifted across the room for probably the hundredth time, over to Gator with his girlfriend or date or whatever the fuck she was to him, your chest burning with annoyance. You blinked, suddenly noticing that Gator had turned and was looking right back at you, his arm still around her. 

A beat passed between both of you, and despite being at opposite ends of the room, you felt on display with the way he was looking at you. 

Quickly, you glanced away, pressing further into Jake who squeezed your hip in response. But it was too late to erase what just happened. You could feel the weight of his gaze on you. Feeling your heartbeat speed up slightly, you nervously tugged at your skirt. You shouldn’t be caring this much, or at all actually. Gator wasn’t yours anymore. And whatever happened a few weeks ago was just a moment… or hours… of weakness. 

“You okay?” Jake asked, snapping you out of your daze, noticing your change in demeanor. 

“Yeah, fine,” you replied, taking another sip of your drink. Your cup was still full, but it was starting to taste like cardboard. Your mouth was dry. “I’m gonna get another drink, I think.”

“Sure, need me to come with?” 

You shook your head, waved him off and departed from the group. 

It wasn’t that Jake was bad. In fact, he was the opposite. He was sweet, attentive, and caring. He had a stable job, came from a good family, and he was perfect for you. He fit the perfect image, exactly what your parents were looking for. Still, you found yourself glancing over at Gator, who was conveniently standing in a place you had to walk past to leave the hall and into the kitchen. This time, he didn’t even spare you a glance as you walked closer. 

You don’t know what possessed you. Maybe it was the anger from seeing Gator with that girl, or the way he had ripped your dress last time. Maybe it was the way he was acting like nothing ever happened between you two with such ease. Maybe it was because you couldn’t get him out of your head. It made you want to get him back.

As you passed Gator, you made a show of bumping into him, thrusting your cup forward so the liquid spilled right on his jeans. You pursed your lips together, trying to look surprised as he physically recoiled, clearly caught off-guard. 

“Oh, shit,” you managed to say. You bit the inside of your cheek to stop yourself from smiling. “I’m so sorry. Clumsy me.”

You looked over at his girlfriend, who seemed shocked at what just happened. Gator glanced up at you, his eyes in pure disbelief as he looked back down at his jeans, now coated with the sticky liquid. 

“Fuckin’ hell, can you watch where you’re goin’?” he asked, his voice dripping with frustration. 

Blinking innocently, you shrugged and continued walking, abandoning your cup somewhere before he could keep talking. You carefully maneuvered your way through the crowd, and managed to find the bathroom upstairs.

He was quick to follow you. You were barely able to shut the door when he slipped inside after you. You glanced back, slightly startled. You were expecting a reaction out of him, sure. But you didn’t expect this. Or maybe you did, and that’s why your body shivered with excitement.

“You can’t just-” you could barely get a sentence out when he stepped closer, cutting you off almost immediately.

“I can’t fuckin’ believe you did that,” Gator said, frustration clear in this tone. It only made you more amused. “Are you really that desperate for my attention, huh?”

Folding your arms, you shrugged. “Just think of it as payback, yeah? For ripping my dress last time.”

He glanced away, a short scoff escaping his lips. “You’re a bitch.”

“You’re a dick,” you retorted, reaching your hand out to run over his jeans, getting a feel of the liquid on his pants. You decided not to comment on how his breath caught in his throat at your touch. “It’s not that bad. You’ll live. I had to drive home with a fucking ripped dress.”

He gripped your wrist before you could pull your hand away. “You’re cleaning this up.”

“What’s your girlfriend gonna think, seeing you follow me up here?” You asked, suddenly remembering you’d both left your partners downstairs. “Who even is she, anyway?” There was no nonchalance in your tone, despite how hard you tried.

“I told her I was gonna clean up-” he scoffed, a smirk forming on his face. “That’s what this is about? You’re jealous?”

“Jealous!” You scoffed right back. It was an incredulous claim. It was outrageous, it was… obviously correct. You were jealous. “You’re fucking delusional.”

Gator tucked some hair behind your ears, his other hand still around your wrist. “Did you not like seein’ me with her, darlin’?” he asked, his voice dropping low as his thumb traced over your lips, parting your mouth. He slipped his thumb in, making you groan when he pressed it against your tongue. “Did it make you upset? You’re mad ‘cause I’m moving on?”

When you didn’t reply, he retracted his thumb from your mouth, his fingers moving down to the hem of your skirt. 

“Answer me,” he said, “or my hand might slip with this poor little skirt too. It’d be a shame, it’s really sexy on ya.” 

His hand was gripping your skirt, and you couldn’t stand that he had you in this position yet again. You squirmed, cheeks flushing. 

“I didn’t… like it.” you admitted with reluctance, knowing he was gonna relish in it.

“Didn’t like what?” Gator asked, his tone taunting as his fingers tightened around your skirt, threatening to rip it. “Gotta be more specific, sweetheart. Tell me.”

“I didn’t… like seeing you with her,” you managed to get the words out, cheeks burning with embarrassment. 

“Yeah, was that so hard to admit?” He smirked, letting go of your skirt. “Here’s what’s gonna happen. You’re gonna clean this mess up. You can do that for me, mhm?”

When your hands moved to unbuckle his belt, he stopped you, a firm grip on your hand, almost painful. You glanced up, eyes wide in confusion. 

“I said clean up, darlin’.” He grabbed the back of your hair, guiding you down on your knees. “Come on, I don’t have all night.”

“Would she not do this for you?” You asked, settling your knees against the cold, hard bathroom floor. He didn’t answer, roughly pushing your face against his bulging jeans.

Slowly, you dragged your tongue across the inseam of his jeans, licking up against the damp fabric. A low groan left his lips as his fingers tangled in your hair, pushing your mouth forward. You licked along all the parts you could see were damp. You could faintly taste the alcohol. 

“Is she your girlfriend?” you asked before pressing your tongue flat against the fabric. 

A soft groan left his lips when you unbuckled his belt, he didn’t seem too opposed to it now that his cock was bulging and twitching beneath your tongue. “Shut up,” he said lowly, fingers massaging your scalp as you pushed his jeans and boxers down in one movement. “She’s none of your business.”

You blinked up at him through your lashes as his cock hit against your cheek, already dripping with precum. You pressed your thighs together at the sight of his cock that twitched slightly against your cheek, whimpering as he pressed your face further against it.

“D’you see?” he asked in a low voice. “D’you see what you do to me?”

You nodded, parting your lips, trying to take him in your mouth, but he tugged on your hair a little harshly, pulling you back. You couldn’t help but make a noise of protest. “Gator.” 

“You want it in your mouth, do ya?” Gator cooed. “You want me?”

“I do,” you said, trying to move your head forward, but he only tilted your head back, tugging on your hair again as he forced you to look up at him. 

“Then why d’you act so difficult, mhm? Why d’you make me act this way with you?” he asked, his voice slightly raspy. You watched as his free hand moved to pump his cock, clearly growing impatient himself. He groaned lowly when you flicked your tongue out, letting it swipe along his tip.

He tugged on your hair with harder force this time, making you moan. 

“Ask nicely, darlin’. Use your manners, I know you got ‘em.”  

“Please, Gator,” the words were quick to spill out of your mouth. “Let me help you feel good.” 

You felt giddy as he loosened his grip on your hair slightly. You pushed your mouth onto his cock, eyes fluttering as he thrust his hips forward harshly, his tip hitting the back of your throat. It made you gag a little, you weren’t expecting him to be so desperate for it.

“Sorry,” he mumbled, a little softly, when he noticed you gagging. You hated that he was being nice even in a moment like this. It only made you want him more. “S’okay?” 

You nodded, as much as you could, your tongue swirling along his length. It didn’t help that your pussy was throbbing, aching for its own relief. 

Gator couldn’t mask his moans anymore, only making it more difficult for you to contain your own arousal. His hair fell into his eyes as he thrusted forward again, this time with a little more control and caution. Your eyes watered as you let him use your mouth how he liked, his groans growing more needy and louder as you could feel the pleasure starting to take over his body. 

Whimpering, you squeezed your thighs together a little more as he gently tugged your mouth off him, a string of drool connecting from your chin to his cock as you glanced up at him, confused. His eyes were heavy-lidded as he gazed down at you, expression slightly hazy from the pleasure.

“Up,” Gator ordered, voice a little shaky. 

Knees a little sore, you stood up as he instructed, swallowing thickly. He pressed you against the bathroom counter with a little force, pushing your skirt up swiftly. You glanced at him through the mirror, feeling his hand hastily tugging down your panties, letting them fall to your feet. You gripped the counter, sticking your ass out a little, your clit still aching for some sort of relief. 

“Whore,” he mumbled as he watched, his fingers pressing against your clit. He had a smirk on his face again as he glanced up at you lazily through the mirror, his saliva-coated cock pressing against your slick, wet folds, running it up and down your entrance. “What a pretty little whore though, mhm?”

You moaned, and you suddenly found yourself grateful for the unbearably loud music of the party that was blaring throughout the house. 

“Beg,” he squeezed your hip. “Beg for it, c’mon.”

“Gator, please,” you whimpered, slightly incoherent as you continued to drool. “Want your cock, please.” 

You let out a whimper as he finally pushed his thick, large cock inside, his large hand gripping your hip as your head fell forward. “Jesus Christ,” you managed to choke out, gripping the counter so tight your knuckles were turning white as he settled his cock deep inside you.

“So tight,” he groaned, his voice rough. “He still hasn’t fucked you, has he, darlin’?”

Shaking your head, you let out another moan. “No. I- I don’t wanna talk about him.”

“Fine with me,” Gator replied, pulling out almost all the way only to thrust back in, making you whimper again. “Fuckin’ hate that guy.”

You opened your mouth to reply, but all that came out was a soft cry as he pushed into you again, hitting your walls so deep that you couldn’t quite form words for a second.

“W-what about you,” you said when you finally found your voice, all shaky and whiny. “You fucked her yet?”

He laughed a little, caressing and squeezing the flesh of your ass as he continued to fuck into you, thrusting at a pace that was making you dizzy. “No, sweetheart. Aw, you’re so jealous, aren’t ya?” He gloated. “Needy jealous whore.”

You whimpered softly as his cock hit your walls in a way that made your eyes water and body tremble with pleasure, unable to come up with a reply that would be anything but another whimper or moan.

“She’s not my girlfriend,” he said between moans, his voice strained.  “Just a girl I’ve been seein’ casually.”

“Oh,” you replied, your walls clenching around his cock, making him groan in response. “Gator, please-”

“Yeah,” he picked up the pace slightly, his grip on your hip so tight it was starting to hurt. His free hand reached out to tug at your hair. “Look at yourself, baby. Look how pretty you are for me.”

You glanced up at yourself in the mirror. Your makeup was running and eyes glassy, mouth open and drool still dripping from your mouth to your chin. Your cheeks flushed again, humiliated by how you looked. You were completely at his mercy, and he knew it too.

Your attention shifted over to Gator. You noticed his expression was similar to yours, seeming hazy with pleasure as you watched him pound into you from behind through the mirror.

Unable to help yourself, you clenched around him again, thighs starting to tremble. You shut your eyes. It felt like he was burying his cock deeper inside you with every thrust, hitting your sweet spot each time. You whimpered when he smacked your ass.

“I said look,” he said, voice a little rougher now. “Can’t follow simple instructions anymore?”

Your body felt like it was on fire, you tried to speak but all that came out was incoherent mumbles, and you weren’t even sure of what you were trying to say anymore. You gripped the edge of the counter, your forehead pressed against the mirror as you opened your eyes again per his order.

“Atta girl. Just keep watchin’.” 

With a shaky cry, you climaxed, your walls clenching around Gator’s cock. He let out a string of moans, mumbling something about you being a whore again, but you could barely hear him. Your hips bucked to meet him as white hot spurts of his cum filled you up, making your legs tremble even more. Your breaths were so labored it was starting to fog up the mirror right in front of you.

Gator pulled out of you quicker this time, knowing you were having trouble standing upright. In a haze, you let him turn you around and place you on the counter, your body still struggling to come down from the high.

As you settled on the counter, you watched as he slotted himself between your legs after pulling his jeans back on. He tugged up the panties that were still around your ankles, helping you put them back on as a weird silence drifted over you two. 

“Sorry about…” you said, gesturing vaguely at his jeans.

“No, you’re not,” Gator replied, kissing up your neck and jaw. He placed a hand on your hip. You cupped his cheek when he finally glanced up, your lips finding his. He tangled his tongue with yours, a soft noise escaping you.

“I’m not,” you agreed as you pulled back, cheeks flushing from the kiss. It felt more intimate than anything else you two had done tonight, and you could feel his cum spilling out of you.

“So, you gonna avoid me for the next few weeks again?” he teased, his thumbs wiping at the corners of your eyes, trying to clean up some of your running mascara. “Til you get all needy and jealous again?”

“Or,” you started, trying to sound as casual as possible, looking up into his eyes. Your breaths were still a little fast, your heart racing. “You could… come over tomorrow? My parents are outta town.”

“Mhm, yeah?” he turned to kiss your palm that was cupping his cheek. “Only if you dump that fuckin’ loser.” 

You sighed in irritation, as if you weren’t planning on doing so anyway. “Only if you dump whatever her name is.” 

Gator smirked. “Yeah, sure.”

[xproskeith]

Here's a little fic I wrote that takes place at the end of Paladin Strait and kind of takes The Line into account with my theory of how The Line fits into the lore (and also this one about the drumming at the end of The Line). It involves TB appearing to Clancy and talking to him! I hope you like it. Below a read more so there's no worry for a block of text on your dash.

Clancy was determined. He was going to find Nico and defeat him and the rest of the bishops. He was going to break the cycle. He had no problem using the power he'd been granted to swiftly handle the 7 other bishops. He was ready for Nico.

Or so he thought. When Nico burst through that door, Clancy froze. And then Nico's cold hands were around his neck. It happened so fast. Did Nico really move that fast? Or did it only seem that way because he froze when he finally saw Nico? Clancy couldn't be sure and in the end the answer didn't change anything anyway. Clancy closed his eyes, trying to gather himself and what he would do next. What he COULD do next. Then Nico began to speak, his monotone voice distorted and as cold as ice.

"So few..."

Memories of the banditos getting ready at the basecamp flooded Clancy's mind. Before the attack. There were so few compared to what they would be facing. Yet, they were all so resolved. They believed. In the cause, in the Torchbearer, and in Clancy. But there were still so few...

"So proud..."

Clancy's mind drifted to the Torchbearer. His first time seeing him after his escape. When he rescued Clancy from DEMA. All the times he fervently told him about the Banditos and the cause. How he stood there looking at him so proudly when they reunited at the fire back in Trench after his long journey. He was so proud. Of the cause, of the Banditos, and, for some reason Clancy still didn't understand, the Torchbearer was proud of him as well. He believed in him. But this is where Clancy found himself now... Clancy felt the antlers slip from his hands.

"So... Emotional..."

To Clancy's own surprise, he thought of himself in this moment. He thought back to the surges of emotion that spurred him to first try and escape DEMA and of the journal entries and letters he wrote. He remembered being inflamed by the Torchbearer's words and his cause. More so than even the other Banditos. His desire to defeat the bishops and Nico. Yet all he could feel in this moment was fear and despair.

"Hello, Clancy."

It felt like Nico's hands tightened around Clancy's neck. What was he going to do? He'd already released the antlers. He couldn't use the power he'd been granted. Nico had him. Clancy thought he was ready, but he wasn't. He froze. And now his chance was gone. It was over.

His eyes still closed, and lost in a sea of his own fear and anxiety, Clancy's mind spiraled out of control. Each thought led to something worse and darker, feeding his anxiety and despair. He failed. He had failed the banditos. He failed the Torchbearer. He failed himself.

—

Torchbearer watched as the bodies of the glorious gone abruptly collapsed. They fell to the ground haphazardly, like puppets whose strings had been cut. The other banditos seemed surprised, but relieved. It seemed like the battle was won, that Clancy had succeeded. In spite of that, Torchbearer couldn’t shake the feeling that it wasn’t over, that something was wrong.

Torchbearer looked up at the tower once more. There, he saw nothing. No light, no movement, nothing. Something was wrong. A sense of dread filled Torchbearer. There was nothing physical or observable for him to base this feeling off of, but he knew Clancy was in trouble and struggling. Something was wrong and he needed help.

Torchbearer had sworn he would never leave Clancy and he fully intended to live up to that promise. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He envisioned Clancy clearly in his mind and his desire to help and guide him. As he exhaled, he envisioned himself at Clancy’s side. And he opened his eyes.

—

Torchbearer was inside the tower. Or his projection was anyway. Before him, Torchbearer saw the other bishops felled, lying on the floor, but what immediately took his attention was seeing Nico with his hands firmly wrapped around Clancy’s neck. Torchbearer was right. Something was wrong and Clancy was in trouble

Torchbearer quickly looked over the scene and situation, assessing the state of things. He saw the antlers on the ground. Torchbearer knew that Clancy must have relinquished them himself. He could feel the fear and anxiety exuding from Clancy. That’s when Torchbearer realized that the biggest threat to Clancy in that room wasn’t Nico. It was Clancy himself.

—

Clancy suddenly felt a warmth wash over him, contrasting the icy hands of Nico and the frigidity of the tower. More than that, he could feel a presence. It was comforting and familiar. Clancy knew immediately who it was. It was the Torchbearer.

Clancy’s mind immediately spiraled into regret. Here he was, bound up in his failure, and now Torchbearer was here to see it. Clancy was sorry. So sorry. Had he disappointed him? After all the faith he’d put into him? Surely he and the rest of the banditos would never allow him to come back to them. Not only had he failed, but he had given them hope and led them on this crusade only to fail. No, they certainly hated him now. Clancy couldn’t blame them. They should never have put their faith in someone like him. He thought he was ready to face down his fears, but he was wrong. Clancy had no idea what that actually meant. When the moment truly came, he froze. He failed. Again.

And yet, he could still feel Torchbearer’s warm presence. He was still there, despite it all.

“Hey”, echoed Torchbearer’s voice in Clancy’s mind. “I’m here.”

“I’m sorry”, Clancy responded. “I can’t fight anymore. I’m done. I’m sorry.”

Though it was in his mind, Torchbearer’s voice was warm, calm, and soothing, yet strong.

“It’s not over, Clancy”, said Torchbearer. “You’re still alive.”

“But he has me”, replied Clancy. “There’s no escape from here.”

“Just because he ‘has’ you doesn’t mean it’s over.”

“No. I’ve failed. Failed you, the banditos, myself. They could never take me back.”

“The banditos would never abandon you, Clancy. Nor would I. I promised that I’d never leave you. I hoped by now that you’d have realized that I never left you before and I never will.”

“But why? I’ve failed. Failed all of you. You should leave with them while you still can. Believing in someone like me to change anything was a mistake. It’s hopeless. I can’t break this cycle. I shouldn’t drag the rest of you down with me.”

There was a pause. Torchbearer could finally see just how far Clancy had spiraled, how broken he felt. But Torchbearer knew Clancy, perhaps better than Clancy knew himself. He knew the strength of heart that Clancy had deep inside of him. He knew Clancy could do this, even if Clancy himself didn’t believe so. Torchbearer just needed to remind him of that. And also remind him that he is not alone in this. That he doesn’t have to face this all alone.

“Clancy,” began Torchbearer. “Breathe. Stop and just breathe.”

That caught Clancy by surprise, but it did bring his racing mind to a screeching halt. Clancy realized that he really wasn’t breathing and not because of Nico’s grip on his neck. He listened to Torchbearer and took a deep breath. Clancy was surprised at how much something so simple started to ground him. But it still didn’t change anything. The situation was still as dire and the outcome would be bad.

“It’s not over and this is not hopeless, Clancy,” continued Torchbearer, as if sensing Clancy’s thoughts and feelings. “So long as your heart beats and you draw breath, it’s not over. Yes, things may look bad, but don’t let your own doubt and anxiety cloud your view and judgment.”

“What do you mean?” asked Clancy.

“Take a moment to step back and look at things as they truly are. You made it here, to the tower where the bishops were hiding and using their power. You stopped seven of them on your own. You stopped those being seized by them. You granted them peace from the glorious gone.”

“Maybe so, but now Nico has me. I’m powerless against him. I should have known better. I can’t face him. So, in the end, he and they still win. The cycle continues like always.”

“It doesn’t have to be like that. Nico knows you’re afraid of him, of what he represents to you. He’s using that against you. He’s turning you against yourself. In giving in to that, you’re doing the work for him. Reject that, face those fears, and find a new way to stand and fight. Do that, and you’ll be no match for Nico by himself.”

“But I’m just one person. I’m all alone up here. It’s hard. I… I got used to having people around me. People I could depend on… As much as they depended on me. I… I don’t think I can do this on my own.”

“Clancy, you’re so much stronger than you realize. I’ve seen it. I know it. You don’t need anyone to see this through, but that doesn’t mean that you have to do it all alone. And you won’t have to. I am here with you. And so are the rest of the banditos.”

“But you’re not even truly here. You’re just a projection. It’s all in my head.”

“And who’s to say that makes it any less real? I’m here to help and guide you. But more than that, we are coming.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’m rallying the banditos to you. We’ll be there soon. Like I said, you have the support of the yellow. We would never leave you.”

“I… Why? Why aren’t you running away? Get everyone out while you still can.”

“We believe in you, Clancy, as well as the cause. We want to see an end to the bishops’ rule and to vialism. You’re right to call it a cycle. And you will be the one to break it. So, we will support you however we can. You’re not in this alone. You never were. So, are you ready to see this through?”

Clancy didn’t understand why, but he felt encouraged. Torchbearer’s words and the knowledge that his comrades were on his way to him to help him, despite the danger, caused his anxiety to fade. Clancy began to realize his anxiety for what it was, false and irrational thoughts and feelings. Where would he be had Torchbearer not intervened? Who was he to give up now if everyone else still believed in him and was still fighting? No, Torchbearer was right. It wasn’t over. It was time for Clancy to see this through to the end.

“I am,” replied Clancy, opening his eyes finally, his eyes filled with defiance and determination.

Clancy’s eyes met Nico’s at first. Nico's eyes were cold and soulless, almost lifeless. Then Clancy noticed Torchbearer standing next to him and Nico, looking at Clancy. He really had been there the whole time. Torchbearer gave Clancy a nod with a smirk. Clancy knew what to do.

Clancy quickly brought his arms upward, slamming into Nico’s elbows from below. Nico’s grip on his neck slipped. At the same time, Clancy ducked, fully escaping Nico’s grasp, and then slammed his palms as hard as he could into Nico’s chest. Nico stumbled backwards, creating distance between him and Clancy. He looked bewildered and stunned at what had just happened.

Clancy quickly retrieved the antlers and assumed a fighting stance again. He glanced over at Torchbearer. Clancy could hear the footsteps of the banditos making their way towards him. Torchbearer smiled as big and as warm as the sun at Clancy.

“Covering you,” said Torchbearer with a wink.

With that, Torchbearer disappeared. Moments later, before Nico could truly recover, Torchbearer and the rest of the banditos breached the doorway. The banditos gathered around Clancy as they faced Nico. Torchbearer took his place at Clancy’s side. He, like the rest of the banditos, also adopted a fighting stance, their torches in hand. Torchbearer looked at Clancy.

“So, ready to finish this?” asked Torchbearer.

Nico had recovered, brushing the attack off like nothing. To their surprise, he looked more angry than afraid or upset. It definitely wasn’t going to be that easy.

“Yeah, let’s do this,” replied Clancy.

[three-headed-monster]

this month has literally just been confirming to me that i'm a fandom Elder my god, me vs explaining 2021, 2022, and 2023 fandom lore to various different people 😂

but yeah ! macklin is really interesting cause i would say there's a decent amount of scholarship on him, but not a lot! he seems, by all accounts, a fairly regular kid, but i think the lack of media bubble around him has also meant we haven't really gotten as much information about him in comparison to other draftees (this also might just be a big gap in my own information because while i have followed this dude for a long time, last year as a whole is a year where i feel hockey did not exist to me for 80% of the year)

i would be careful about third hand accounts though, because i think a lot of us are partial to twisting the narrative to how it fits our own headcanons (very much guilty of this sometimes, but i really do try to be accurate). there's a lot of stuff on adam fantilli in particular, and the reasons he left the canadian hockey system that are inaccurate, or stretched to a large degree. i fear that has been applied to macklin's story too, which he himself has refuted. so i would def encourage to be diligent in doing your own research ! and forming your own headcanons outside of the third hand accounts :)))

connor's masking is so insane and it's gotten more and more blatently obvious since he came into the nhl. before, of course he had his pr voices and everything but every once in a while he'd break character and we'd get a glimpse at the true him. now it feels like unless we're getting another friends livestream, we're never seeing that again 😭

i don't think any of them were raised normal tbh and you're right in saying we can only take what the media says about them. i hate comparisons in anny way though, and even though it's great media foddder, it honestly serves everyone involved terribly because well....

time to talk about shane wright.

shane wright was, from the time he was 14! projected to be the top pick in the 2022 nhl draft. people called him the next one. he was connor before connor was connor. exceptional player status in the ohl, was playing with people 3-4 years his SENIOR by the time he was 15 and eating them alive. everywhere this kid went, people were telling him he was great.

and then covid hits. and he doesn't play hockey. for a year. despite so may other people going overseas to play in europe just to try to continue their development, shane wright doesn't. he sits on his hands. he waits for the ohl to begin again in a year it never does. there was speculation at the time that it was because he was struggling with the idea of being so far away from his family at so young, which. objectively. makes sense. 16 in europe alone is a lot different from billets in the same province as his parents. (also what they won't tell you is that 50% of the players who did get to go overseas was because they had dual citizenship, look at i.e. mctavish and othmann going to switzerland because they were dual citizens, because at the time no one else could cross the borders).

but he does u18s. he looks fine. GREAT even. breaks all kinds of scoring records. consensus heading into the 2021-22 season is that he's still going to be the first overall pick. nothing seems wrong.

until it is. because he has a subpar year in terms of scoring. and there's other competition making their cases for top pick. and it looks like the canadiens will be picking first overall while the draft is in their city, and it's a bigger deal than most first overall picks regardless of who it is.

and i think part of why connor was so hesitant to say "when i'm drafted" the next year in 2023, and always reverted to "if" is because shane makes the mistake of saying in a mid-season interview that he deserves to be the first overall pick in 2022. because that's what everyone's told him since he was 14? so it must be true right? no one has indicated to him anything otherwise?

the habs don't think so. they hate it. they consider it entitlement, but they don't say it to his face. the habs wine and dine him, they send scouts to his games consistently throughout the year to talk to him, habs fans are even asking him to sign habs jerseys with HIS name on it before the draft and he stays on the carpet longer than they're allowed to just to do that

but then the pick comes. it's not him. the habs don't even have the decency to call and tell him. devils are next. they don't change their plans. it's not him. arizona. they don't change theirs either. it's still not him.

imagine being told for your entire life that you are destined for greatness and then the last four years being told you are meant for greatness even higher than the GREATEST of the greatness. you were supposed to be the next mcdavid, gretzky, crosby, all of them. and it fell apart at the last moment, only because you repeated what THEY said to YOU and they didn't like that you broke that unspoken social rule not to. i think i'd be pretty pissed! i would NOT have reacted as calmly as he did on that day, lmao i burst into tears about that, and several people i knew who had followed his journey for years, did too.

he didn't have a complete meltdown, which is a miracle. but he did have one according to everyone's standards of him and how hockey players were "supposed to act". all he did was "glare" at the habs table for a split second and suddenly, he had attitude problems and he deserved what he got and he will be booed at bell centre for the rest of his life. the number of people who sent this kid VITRIOLIC hate for a half second break in his mask, is insane. INSANE. they sent ME hate for defending him. AND THEY LEAKED HIS SNAPCHAT PHOTOS. he was universally blacklisted p much, for "acting like he was above 4th overall" when he smiled SO big in every photo and was genuinely excited to be a kraken. but it wasn't enough for anyone because he was privileged and spoiled and thought he would be the first overall pick out loud.

and ik i said i hate comparisons but part of where my personal headcanon for him comes from is how he reacted to slipping in the draft, compared to adam fantilli (people loved to use this one at the time too so i must include it). adam was THRILLED to be going to columbus. but shane had the equivalent to what would be a personal meltdown to him, and while he maintained high spirits, you could tell that he was heartbroken that it seemed like he lost what had been promised to him. all as a result of him just not understanding the social rule that you don't say you're going first overall.

meanwhile he's captained several different teams and no one had ever mentioned "attitude issues" until the night of the draft. there's more stuff too on his autism, like how he is has literally one hobby and talks about it in every video (guitar and he self admits its his one thing)

and how he acted at the space needle, while it was spinning

seemingly obsessed with moving floors ! he also liked them in the haunted house video from last month and kept saying everything was fine when he looked like he wanted to die.

and he said earlier this year that he liked that the kraken had a new podium for their media space because now he actually knows where to put his hands

saw the tags on your rb, and as a fellow "connor bedard has autism" headcanoner, i would love to know more of your thoughts 😈

it's less of a headcanon and more of a divinely correct vibe check. but like am i wrong...???? although I do see it more as they're the same flavour of ND with different presentations, like Connor is hyperfocus ADHD, and Macklin is inattentive (this comes from someone with mixed presentation ADHD¹, they also tried to diagnose me with austim but my legs were too long i make eye contact BUT!!! 93rd% "indicating that Cassie has many behavioural characteristics similar to youth diagnosed with ASD." raaaaa 💪💪💪 93% is an A!! i ace even the tests i fail!!!) Plus his rigidity with his diet, is bonkers for someone that young (and it's been going on since he was like 14-15)

Like especially with the way that Connor's constant practicing, after practice until the zamboni kicks him off, and then on off days and optional skates hiding his gear to make him take days off?? that is pretty classic hyperfocus ADHD. And especially with the way he blames the teams loses on himself, like please sir seeing you in the mirror is not good for my health!!

And with Macklin, people often mischaracterize inattentive ADHD with not being motivated or good at routine and while yes those two things are a normal part of human life, and more-so with ADHD, he has shown many times how deeply he cares about hockey........ but I think (and also remember i am projecting) his father being THAT hands on with him and his brothers training (even now which yuck, you have your own job get your grubby paws off of your kid's job) has made him unable to self propel, and get himself into that routine? (AND AGAIN I AM PROJECTING) like something Macklin has said a few times is how the shift to a pro-hockey schedule has been hard, and yes it is an adjustment, but he has been essentially living away from his parents for YEARS, two years boarding at Shattuckk, one year (presumably) billeting in Chicago while playing in the USHL, and one year in college at BU, and I think the real shift is that... daddy is planning his workouts again, full time not just summers (also, the travaling doesn't help) AND THAT (i am projecting) is HELL to someone who built a routine, and any hope of getting back into one was dashed when he went of IR for his hip after one game. the boy needs CONSISTENCY!!!!! And until they get him 1) away from his freak father who has his hands al over his development plan, and 2) on simple routine with max five types of days (home game, home practice, home rest, away game, away rest) he will not get situated.

BACK TO BEDARD <33333

the man loves rules and procedures. him at his first training camp all doe eyed and "wanting to make the team!" so much that Kyle Davidson... maybe it was Luke Richardson who said it...??? either way his coach or his GM pulled aside his MOTHER to tell them that they needed to start looking at apartments. Before getting drafted it was never "when" it was "if i get drafted".... like dude.... it's gonna happen! Whenever he get's sen't to the box its always a "they hate me, don't they know I am unable to break rules!! not because they don't apply to me but because I can NOT break rules!" vibe (I am only kinda projecting on this one)

and I do think the type of media around them during their developmental years up has affected them, Macklin's media was always focused on his father, which reinforced his reliance/dependence on him, whereas Connor's was focused on him which encouraged him to focus on himself and what HE can do to improve.

also Connor has that DOG IN HIM

^ connor bedard real not fake (also my childhood psychologist had this PROMENENTLY displayed in her office and i think seeing it every two weeks had an adverse affect on me)

¹ and a bunch of other learning disorders, dyslexia, dysgraphia, dyscalculia, audio processing disorder, also anxiety, depression, and cutie patootie disease (fatal 😔)

[soulsxng]

Archetypes quiz | Niesal edition!

50% Intellectual: The Intellectual is the ultimate dinner-party guest. Engaging questions and thoughtful debate are their trademarks.

25% Caregiver: Friendly, sincere, and compassionate, the Caregiver finds their reward in helping others. No one could ask for a better best friend.

25% Visionary: Leave it to others to live by the status quo. The Visionary is interested in new ways of seeing, solutions not yet imagined, products not yet built.

[sskk-manifesto]

!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!