#because neither the government nor my parents could do shit about it

[parrrty-poison]

i'm just so tired of never having a say in things pertaining my own life

[aemiruo]

2-04-24: Yesterday night I had an anxiety attack..

I am not going to help my English with translation so, if you are reading this, sorry for the misspelling.

I had a lot of thoughts on my head, most of it are bad.

To put some context, I am non binary, and I have been doing some papers and things to change my name, and also change my ID gender, which it only goes by M and F. In my country is not legal at all to use a X in the gender section, so it has to be done via legal and courts stuff.

That would not be a big problem is society could see me as I am, specially my family. They still ignore how actually hard is to live in my skin. They had no idea, they don't care. Why would they care? I don't ask for them to understand me, I just ask them to respect me.. Which sometimes, is quite hard. I stopped fighting with them for this, so we just continue living (barely to me) and they think everything is alright.

I feel my gender identity is like a joke to them, specially to my sister. For some time she respected my pronounces and such, then one day she become a total asshole and told me the most hurtful words that nobody ever told me, and become the side kick of my mom. My relationship with her is strange, I like her because she is my mom but I don't feel she likes me for being their child, I might be a rare thing to her. I am not like her first born son, and never will be like her perfect middle daughter. But she likes to know about my life by others, and my sister tell her everything she can found about me online. That's how their work. I have a bunch of secret social media thanks to old stalkers I had. Now my family is my own stalker.

But that is not everything. She insulted my partner, she insult me. My partner and I are neurodivergent and from the LGBT+ community, to be specific, under the Transgender umbrella. So we both know how hard is the world for us and the struggle to do everything and not be seen as we are. My sister said basically she understand us but we are not a big deal, we are not the center of the world, we are not special and such.

Oh Romina.. we know, more that you. We have been surviving until now. Neither you nor society and the government as well care a damn shit about people like me, people like us. You have no fucking idea, you understand nothing. We both are stronger than you would never be. You don't have identity/gender problems, you don't have to be hurt by everyone who misgender you because you will never be misgender. You are not hurt by our parents words because you are perfectly fine for them. You know nothing. You are an idiot.

Last Monday my mom asked me why I don't like to see my sister anymore, why we don't get along.

"Well, mom, you, dad, my bother, her partner, that sister, her partner and their dog are about to go to vacations together. Organized by her and she did not invited me. You should ask her about it"

The anxiety attack wasn't just for that, for the thought of that everybody should be better without my existence, but also for my lack of happiness when I work at my area. I wasn't enjoying art, I barely write now. I want to be happy with the things I like to do again. I want to change my name, I want to people respect me. But I'm invisible. I feel alone most of the time.

They went to vacations as the family they are, the perfect one. Do not take me wrong, I'm glad they had a happy time as a family. I know I'm not included at all in their plans anymore because is complicated to me to go out with me (besides my sister don't like me). Is hard to me to go out to places I donot feel comfortable, to be around people who are going to missgender me every second. They do not have any flaw anymore.

I'm working on my mental health, I'm taking medicine and other things that works.

Yesterday night, it just explode, everything I was feeling during the last 2 months.

I am better I want to belive. I'm with my partner and my cats. They bring me joy, happiness..

[scullydubois]

baby, in your kingdom (for valentine’s <3)

read on ao3   tagging: @today-in-fic @iusedtoknowwhatawishwasfor @scullllaaaaayyyy

Mulder proposes to Scully during the Requiem bed scene.

So you may have seen the text post I wrote imagining a version of Requiem where Mulder proposed and didn’t go off to Oregon at the end...I couldn’t stop thinking about that, so it turned into this. This is my favorite prose that I’ve written for a fic, and it might turn into a series someday because this concept is just so rich and worth diving into. Happy Valentine’s Day, and enjoy a treat on me to numb the pain hehe. 

T, 1.7k, more angst than fluff (oops) but the tenderness is there too 

----------------------------

He needs to tell her one thing and ask her another. Should be simple enough, except it never is when it comes to words passing between them. It's in both their natures to leave the sweetest sentiments unsaid lest they lose their luster when voice meets air. And what he has in mind is not exactly the easiest of utterances, neither the former nor the latter. One is the kind of admittance we fear when the phone rings unexpectedly, the other a declaration the unluckiest people go to their graves without getting. Delivering both at the same time is a sin if he’s ever committed one. And for once, he cares what count God has against him. What if he isn’t able to see her again, even in the afterlife? 

He’s been weighing one decision for awhile, looking for the balance between his conviction and her virtue. He could have done it when she came back to him with her baby-faced blush, accepting the cross he clung to in lieu of her. Or when she showed him the x-rays, and they spelled out no hope. When he cried by her bedside and she didn’t stir--he could have done it then, she wouldn’t have known. But it means nothing unless it means everything to both of them, and she wouldn’t have--no, couldn’t have--given him the answer he wants back then. He holds this as the sacred truth that governed him then and will govern him now. He has no room for regrets.

The scuff of their shoes against the baseball diamond was the first time he realized that maybe, maybe this manic impulse of his had some basis in reality. Not a solid one, nothing they could cross a canyon with, but in time…

And then he was inside her brain, privy to her thoughts, and what was an unsound bridge had become a stairway to Heaven only they could climb. Fuck a safety net, he wouldn’t be needing that anymore.

Then he got the call from Billy Miles, and he thought of her ouroboros, and isn’t that what they’ve been doing this whole time? Circling some greater truth that they’ve always known? 

Every circle ends where it begins and begins where it ended. This is what he’s thinking when he spots Billy’s badge, and they glide over the X he painted when they didn’t yet trust each other (but so badly wanted to), and when he lays eyes on Teresa Nemmans and she is not Nemmans but Hoese, and there is a child in her arms. 

Seven years. And what do they have to show for it? What they mean to each other has changed, but it’s not like anyone can tell. He called Scully his partner then, and he calls her his partner now. Oh, the time they have wasted.

But it will be wasted no more. Seeing her with the Hoese baby, cooing a lullaby into its precious ear…seven years ago, he told her of the government’s conspiracy and how nothing else mattered to him. That is no longer the truth.

There is a truth they both know that is stronger than anything. When she appears at his door, flushed and shivering like a puppy left out in the cold, his head and his heart finally hit the same wavelength. He will shy away from fate no longer.

She doesn’t wait to be invited in, she knows his bed is hers for the taking. He lifts her shoes off her feet like he’s kneeling at an altar, wraps his arms around her as if it’s what he was put on this Earth to do. Contrary to popular belief, he has quite a reverence for domestic bliss. He’s been searching for it since his own reflection of it was shattered at twelve years old, and it has finally come to him.

He is scared to death that he’ll fuck it up, but not so scared that he’ll back away. In other words, his approach to everything in his life. It occurs to him then, with his lips on her temple, that he would set his own flame to the office and every X-File in it if she asked him to. If that’s what she wanted. He wouldn’t even have stepped foot back in that haunted place after its first burning if she’d given him an indication that it was not her desire.

“Scully,” he starts, nuzzling her neck, “I was thinking about when you asked me if I ever wanted to stop...if I ever wanted to get out of the car.”

“Uh-huh,” she breathes so faintly that he wouldn’t have known if he hadn’t felt it in her lungs. 

“Well, I do want that. I’ve always wanted that. Remember when we were in Home and I said I’d like to settle someplace like that?”

Scully chuckles against him.

“Obviously not in Home, but you know, some place with the small-town sentiment without the, uh, familial connection.”

“Mm-hm,” Scully murmurs, sensing a larger point that he has strayed from.

“I just never knew how to get to it--I never thought that I could get to it, because I grew up thinking my parents had that, and then I saw they never did at all.”

Scully tucks his open palm under her chin, listening contentedly. 

“So I spent my time chasing apparitions,” he continues, “things I couldn’t see, because I stopped believing in the things that I could. It’s like…the invisible things could surpass my expectations easily, but the visible ones could only disappoint.”

Scully feels cocooned, protected, and warm. She latches her attention to Mulder’s voice to keep from drifting off, kissing his knuckle to show that she’s listening.

“And I’ve realized, Scully,” he says, an edge in his voice, “that it’s a fucking waste of time to live like that. Like doing laps on a lazy susan and wondering why you’re never getting anywhere.” 

“I know,” Scully says, her voice quiet but certain. 

Mulder laughs lightly. “I know you do, that’s what you’ve been saying all this time...I just didn’t see it before.” He kisses her shoulder, lingering in the final moments before doing what cannot be undone. “And so I have something to ask you, but there’s something I have to tell you first.” Rawness permeates his voice. 

At the sound of this, Scully cranes her neck, her gaze falling upon his face for the first time since they laid down. She can barely see his hazel irises through the reflecting pool in his eyes. 

“What is it, Mulder?” she asks, concern pressing up against her urgent need to know.

He closes his eyes, the sight of her too much for him in this moment. What he wouldn’t give to feel like he could live with himself if he kept this a secret.

“I’ve seen a neurologist, I’ve had MRIs, it’s all conclusive. My brain is diseased from whatever Cigarette Smoking Man did to me. Fatal, my neurologist says.”

“Mulder…” Scully sits up, her whole being gravitating toward him. She runs her fingers along the space where she knows he bears his scar. 

“Who told you this? And when? Have you had symptoms…?”

Clearly, she does not want to believe him, and he understands.

“I’ve been going back and forth to appointments for a few weeks. It was just confirmed the other day, I didn’t want to worry you until I knew more.”

“And your symptoms?” 

He recognizes the darkness in her eyes and pucker in her forehead that forewarns tears. “Disorientation, dizziness, memory loss...sometimes I feel like I sleepwalked right through my day. “

‘Why didn’t you tell me?” her voice crackles.

He kisses her hand. “I thought you might go to some dark places if you tried to diagnose me.”

“Well, you’ve just turned the lights out on me with no warning!”

“Shit. I’m sorry, I’m sorry...I didn’t know how best to approach it, I just knew I wanted to cause you the least pain possible.”

“You wanted it to be nothing so you wouldn’t have to tell me,” she notes, not accusing, just speaking plainly.

“Well, yes. That would have been ideal.”

She swallows back tears, wrapping her arms around his neck with grave sincerity. “But now I’m here to fight right alongside you.”

This is what they do--have done, for years. Make his pain her pain and vice versa. Hurt hurts less when shared.

Mulder pulls away first, and it feels like peeling off a layer of his skin. Still, this is as necessary as anything he has ever known. 

“That’s why I was wondering--and listening to it now, I realize this is probably the most selfish thing I’ve ever done, but I don’t know, I thought you might understand...will you marry me, Scully?”

Her breath catches and before she can think of anything else, she is careening toward his t-shirt to cover her tears. She clutches at the material, pulling it from his midsection to her face.

As far as Mulder’s concerned, there’s an elephant stuck in his throat. “I really don’t know what that means,” he stammers.

Scully lets him see her, tear-stained skin and all. “Yes, Mulder, my god yes! Do you honestly think I’d say no to you?”

“I would, especially in this situation.” 

It’s a classic Mulder comment, but Scully’s not laughing. She pulls him in again, just wanting to feel his skin against hers. Their breaths slow in time with each other’s, their heartbeats matching pace. Scully’s lips brush his mole.

She speaks into his skin. “You saved me when it was impossible. I will do the same for you.”

Mulder thought he might hold it together until those words slipped from her lips. The elephant in his throat turns to stifled sobs. 

With silent tears still streaking down her cheeks, Scully runs her thumbs along his lips. Just as she did when they thought his brain was getting better. The love in her eyes is equal to then too.

“My constant, my touchstone, remember?” she professes. “Then, now, and always.” She presses her lips to his forehead, and he thinks she must be healing him.

[razieltwelve]

Cover Story (Final Rose)

"I’m never quite sure whether I should be flattered or insulted that I’m your favourite cover story.” Claire took a sip of her hot chocolate and then reached for a scone. “Although I won’t say no to some free food.”

Weiss took a deep breath and savoured the scent of her freshly brewed coffee. “A great many people would be honoured to go on a date with the heiress to the Schnee Dust Company.” She lifted her coffee to her lips.

“Then why not ask Ruby to come with you next time?”

The spray of coffee from Weiss’s mouth would have made a spectacular mess if Claire hadn’t used a well-practiced application of her Semblance to vaporise it.

“What?” Weiss spluttered. “I... but... gah!” She wiped her mouth with a napkin and then glared, inordinately glad that she’d secured a private booth for this ‘date’. “You’re a terrible person, and you’ve been spending entirely too much time around Jahne.”

“Jahne would have waited until you were eating something to see if she could make you choke.”

Weiss huffed. “Yes, I suppose she would have.” She gave Claire another glare and took a cautious sip of what was left of her coffee. “But Ruby is neither here nor there.”

“You do realise that your father most likely wouldn’t object. Ruby is, after all, hunter royalty. Her parents are members of Team STRQ, which might just be the second most famous team in the world.

“That may be true, but my father has... exceedingly high standards.” The way Weiss spoke ‘exceedingly’ made it clear that she was using the word as a euphemism for something far less polite. “Your father is a member of the most powerful team in the world. My father would see Ruby as a step down and demand to know why I haven’t managed to seduce you.”

Claire raised one eyebrow. “He wants you to seduce me?”

Weiss’s cheeks flushed in a combination of anger and embarrassment. “I will not repeat his exact words. I value your friendship far too much to repeat such... vulgarity, but he was very clear that I was to do whatever it took to secure an alliance between your family and mine.”

Claire took a calming sip of her hot chocolate, but the way the table had begun to rattle made her feelings known. “Weiss... did your father ask you to... to prostitute yourself?”

Weiss stared into the dregs of her coffee. “Your father is one of the most powerful huntsmen in the world. Your mother is likewise one of the most powerful huntresses in the world. And then there is the matter of your extended family. One of your aunts is not only incredibly powerful but also married to the founder and owner of the most powerful company in the world. Another one of your aunts is either the most powerful person on the planet or married to the most powerful person on the planet. And that’s just on your mother’s side."

“Even so...” Claire reined her Aura in before it could frighten everyone else in the cafe. 

“It would be good business,” Weiss said, too calmly for Claire’s liking. “Just think of the benefits. If you and I were to marry, my family’s power would reach new heights. Given your family’s famously protective nature, who would dare to oppose us? Who even could?”

“That’s not why people should marry,” Claire said. 

“In an ideal world,” Weiss replied. “I would marry for love, but we don’t live in an ideal world.”

Claire scowled and then reached across the table to cup Weiss’s chin. She tilted the other girl’s head back until they could stare into each other’s eyes. “Weiss, don’t turn yourself into a martyr. It really doesn’t suit you.” Her voice softened. “I don’t like to speak ill of someone’s family, Weiss, but your father is full of shit.”

“...” Weiss stared at Claire for a long moment and then burst out laughing. It took her almost a minute to get her mirth under control.

“Feeling better?” Claire asked.

“Yes. Yes, I think I do.” Weiss sighed. “It’s not often someone is willing to speak so...bluntly about my father.”

“You should hear what my dad says about him sometimes. Yeah. My dad never helped your family because of your father. It was because of your grandfather, your mother, and you and your siblings.”

“I did get that impression,” Weiss murmured. “Professor Villiers has always been... polite to my father, but he was always much warmer with the rest of us.”

“Anyway,” Claire said. “If your father is pressuring you, I’m happy to help, but you’re going to have to deal with him at some point.”

“A few more years,” Weiss said quietly. “I’ll be strong enough by then to do something, but not yet. And by then...”

“By then Ruby might be famous enough in her own right,” Claire said. “The way your team is going, that’s a bet I’d be happy to take.” She paused. “But there is another option.”

“Oh?” Weiss raised one eyebrow.

“Tell my Aunt Lightning what your father told you to do.”

Weiss’s eyes widened comically. “She’d kill him!”

“And she’d get away with it too,” Claire said with a grin.

Weiss giggled. “I... I will keep that in mind.” She shook her head. “I know it’s absurd given how poorly he has treated me, but he is still my father. There is a part of me that still loves him. I suppose that makes me foolish.”

“It makes you human,” Claire replied. “And a far better person than he is.” She reached across the table and patted Weiss’s hand. “But if things ever get too bad, if you ever need somewhere to run to... my family’s door is always open, you know that, right?”

“Yes, of course. Thank you.”

Claire snickered. “You can hang out in our guest room. I know my parents would be happy to have you around, and, hey, I dare him to try something while you’re under our roof.”

X     X     X

Author’s Notes

Weiss’s father is obsessed with securing more power. Having secured vast amounts of economic power via the SDC, he wants access to the highest echelons of hunter society because, ultimately, that’s where the real power is. Elite hunters are the backbone of society. Without them, survival would be impossible, so they wield enormous influence across all areas of society. Take Lightning. What government in the world wouldn’t give her whatever she wanted to move her family into their territory? Her mere presence is basically a guarantee of safety and prosperity because she can murder just about anything that tries to attack. 

However, Jacques miscalculated badly. He and Winter are estranged with Winter viewing Ironwood as more of a father and mentor than she ever viewed Jacques. She certainly won’t listen to him or help him access hunter society. Weiss is basically his best shot since Whitley doesn’t show the same level of promise. That’s why he is so insistent on her pursuing someone like Claire because that would give him the access that he craves. He views any potential marriage for Weiss strictly in terms of what it can get him and the SDC. Yeah. He’s not a nice guy. Jacques even tried to throw Weiss at Trajan once, but Yeul stepped in and warned him in her best Grand Seeress fashion that it would not end well for him if he kept pushing Weiss at people. He backed off from Trajan, but he chose to ignore the generality of Yeul’s warning. 

If you’re interested in my thoughts on writing and other topics, you can find those here.

I also write original fiction, which you can find on Amazon here or on Audible here.

[enmy-writes]

Baby Avenger

Summary: (Y/N) is one of the youngest avenger members and some government officials repeatedly let her know of “her position.” So, she lets them know exactly what her position is.

Word Count: 2100

Fandom: MCU Avengers

Pairing: Avengers x Reader

Genre: Fluff, soft, slight angst and sadness, & family love.

Rated: 18+

Content Warnings: profanity, death, abandonment, bullying, this is my first ever post of any fanfiction ever so it’s probably bad

**** This is my first ever imagine that I have ever finished and published. Please give me feedback and let me know what else I should write! I’m very excited and nervous so please let me know if you enjoyed this :) I’m thinking of making this Y/N character into a little “Baby Avenger” one-shot series, so let me know your thoughts ****

 _____________________________________________________________

Baby Avenger.

Baby Avenger.

Baby. Avenger.

 In her head, her stomping can be heard throughout the whole Compound and all of its residents and guests can hear her anger. They know she’s going right to the meeting room; not the team meeting room, but the meeting room they use when they have special guests in for a meeting.

The new government officials who are now “in charge” of the Avengers since The Snap Part 2 were in for the day to go over the general plans that the Avengers have been coming up with. They’re nicer than those in charge of the group from the Accords, but in no way were they nice to majority of the group as a whole.

(Y/N) (L/N) happens to be the second to youngest member on the team coming in at an age of 18, second only to her best friend Peter Parker

(Y/N) is an orphan, the typical origin story of any superhero. Her parents spent their last minutes pushing her out of their burning house in rural Pennsylvania. Actually, it was her father who got her out of the flames and by their fishpond 100 meters from the house. Her mother was inside, trapped under a steal beam in the basement.

(Y/N)’s mother was a scientist who worked in secret in a little band of scientists who tried to accomplish their own small victories in testing the alterations and limits of humans. The goal of these scientists is to stay out of sight of the CIA, FBI, S.H.I.E.L.D., and other government agencies. Most of them are left alone and those who get found are either immediately sent to a high security prison or recruited to continue their experiments for a certain country/agency.

(Y/N)’s mother decided to give herself her treatment she was working on instead of potentially kidnapping someone in the everyone-knows-everything kind of town that they had been living in. Her experiment and life studies were all in trying to find a way to unlock the rest of the human brain so that more than that small percentage is being used at a time. It has been hypothesized that humans could do a lot if their brains just used itself more.

The only problem is when she gave the treatment to herself, she was unknowingly pregnant, and the treatment attached onto that small lifeform instead of her own. She created a super baby.

No one knew the exact answer to what is on the other side of that tunnel of science. No one knew what opening the mind could do, there were only theories to support ideas. Plenty of scientific evidence, but it meant nothing with no legit proof.

Well, turns out that those on the team of “you will gain the ability to read minds and shit unlike any human” were the correct guessers.

(Y/N) can read others’ minds, move things with her mind, slow down time in her mind to be able to successfully breakdown a situation and perform the best possible reaction to anything that comes her way. Oh, and the color spectrum is broader for her, allowing her to see a significantly more amount of colors than a normal human (including seeing the aura’s and heat that people give off. Very useful in the few missions she goes on.).

But her parents are dead.

After setting small (Y/N) down, her father ran back in to save the love of his life. Or, well, that’s what the towns’ people say to romanticize the situation. A brave man trying to save his family.

In the end, her father had shaken his head, laughing at the moment like a mad man with tears running down his face. He pulled (Y/N) in for the tightest hug that he had ever given the girl—which is tight considering how close the two really were. They were just like two peas in a pod, the light of each other’s lives, basically soulmates.

But love makes you do crazy things.

“You listen to me, (Y/N).” He gripped her face in a painful grip, cheeks sure to be bruised later. “I will always love you. Don’t doubt that, baby girl, okay? I love you so so so so much” By this time, tears are pouring off his face, the neon flames coming from the house reflecting off his wet face. “Mommy… mommy just needs me now, baby. I need mommy, too. We love you so much.”

It had confused her, his words. Nothing could prepare her to watch her father run back into the house, leaving her by the pond with nothing but a small bag of little family things like pictures, little stupid gifts, and a notebook she had stolen from her mom’s bookshelf one day.

Her mother’s grandfather had been friends with Howard Stark, both science men having been in the same circle of famous inventors since before WWII. While neither her mother nor father personally knew his son, Tony, he was still listed as the godfather to the child. With no close friends allowed in their secret circle, old bonds and pacts that her grandfather had with the older Stark led to a blind trust in the man.

Tony Stark had agreed to be the godfather during a one-week bender in his 30s, and when he was yelled at about it, he chose to just keep it there because “the chances of this happening is very slim.”

But here we are, Baby Avenger.

The officials who are here now actually were the same people that used to do check-ins and such with them pre-Accords, so they knew the team better than any government official save for the rare union that the team members may have with government officials. (Y/N) randomly has one with the Queen of England (she did a favor for Her Majesty once, and now they have tea every third Thursday of every month).

They knew that Tony suffered from panic attacks, and they knew Steve was going through a never ending loop of an existential crisis, and that Bucky will most likely always be having an identity crisis, and that Sam cries to sleep a lot around a certain time of year that renders him almost useless in his sleep deprived state he puts himself into. They know EVERYTHING vulnerable about the team.

So, that means they know how when she first got to the team and to Tony that she wouldn’t speak to anyone unless absolutely necessary. It took her almost a year to be able to speak more than a sentence to every person she was around. No one was too upset, though, Tony was trying to figure out how to save himself and rebrand his whole legacy and the Avengers weren’t really a family family yet like they are now. (Y/N)’s shyness made it much easier on the adults to figure out their stressful situations.

The officials, though, never got why she wouldn’t speak to them. They actually pushed her progress back more and more with taunts and comments such as “Oh, the baby can’t speak?” or a “Get your phone out! She’s about to say her first words!” every time she did go to say something.

Tony soon got fed up with it and filed a lawsuit against them which threatened their agency enough to pull them out and let a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent be a liaison for them. After their presence was rid of, (Y/N) grew exponentially with her new family. She was still home schooled, but now she had Peter Parker as a friend and world geniuses as her teachers. She was an only child, but now she’s a big sister to Morgan and has plenty of people on the team that are dubbed her siblings (since they don’t act their age majority of the time to be considered aunts and uncles).

While she’s trained to fight, (Y/N) doesn’t go out on the field much unless they need her brain or her extended vision. She likes to remain behind the computer screen and help that way. She’s invented a way to make prosthetics like Bucky’s become more available to the general public and has started a school/home that’s three miles from the Compound for orphaned kids, mutants, super kids, and those who aren’t accepted where they come from.

In conclusion, (Y/N) is 18 and not useless in any way, shape, or form.

So why, why, do these absolute short dick idiots decide that they can come into here, her home, and push her around like she hasn’t contributed more to the Earth and society in the short 18 years than their middle-aged asses?

Eyes narrowed and seeing red, she stomps her way down the last hall, shoving herself into the door of the meeting room and throwing it open.

The team stays unfazed, knowing she’d show up pissed at some point. The officials, though, jump in their seat and turn to look at her.

It wasn’t the biggest meeting, the original Avengers plus Bucky, Sam, and Wanda sit around the table. Though, Rocket and Groot are here sitting along the back wall, looking bored as hell. Thor must have drug them along.

Fists clenched, (Y/N) narrows her eyes more. She’s been here since the first attack. Sure, she didn’t fight since she was like, 8 or so, but she was in charge of her man-behind-the-computer work. She’s been a part of the team since the beginning, and these assholes are too big of pricks to acknowledge that.

That’s what’s pissing the girl off. This could have been a meeting for every one of the fighters of the team, which she wouldn’t go to because that’s not her role. This meeting, though, was scheduled as “Originals plus the newly appointed leaders only.” She’s an original.

SHE IS AN ORIGINAL.

SHE. IS. AN. OG.

AND YET, they remained in telling her she wasn’t invited because “The Baby Avenger doesn’t need to join big kid conversation.”

She locked eyes with her adopted father and her best friend, aka Peter Parker, aka the only reason she knew this meeting was still being held.

Poor, lovely Peter. He grew confused when his best friend wasn’t sitting in between Mr. Stark and him for the meeting, especially when the officials referred to the meeting as they did. He was just there to take notes for Mr. Stark, not that the man wouldn’t remember it all. Pepper thought it’d be a good idea if Tony had written evidence to anything said in these meetings so that he wouldn’t be pouring statements out of his ass without proof, and poor, lovely Peter got elected to take such notes.

When he noticed you weren’t there, he had sent you a text asking where you were and that your drink that he brought you was right next to him.

“(Y/N)! It is so great to see you, my wonderful flower.” Thick arms wrapped around her as a golden man squeezed her tight to him. Thor and (Y/N) had a special relationship. They’re always close and do the most innocent of tasks together like flower crowns, step-by-step painting classes, and making those Tik Tok crocheted blankets made with that big yarn. He even had taken her to Asgard (back when it was a planet) for a royal ball where she was the guest of honor. They’re just soft together.

Though, rage blocked that softness that normally occurs between the two. Pushing off of him, she points her finger at the men in the front. The officials look like they’ve seen the devil and all of Hell and (Y/N) can see the fear pouring off of them.

“Let’s get this clear,” she says as she slowly stalks her way up to them. “I am an Avenger. I am an original Avenger. I know about 3,000 ways to kill you in this room at this very moment with anything. I drink tea with the fucking Queen on Thursdays, and I’ve created a better orphanage/school system in 2 years than this country has in the 250 years it’s been around. Don’t you EVER call me a fucking baby again, you fucking hear me?”

By this point, she’s right up in their faces, her glare unwavering and them sweating. The silence in the room was great and seemed to go on forever. The team held their breaths, some trying not to laugh and some scared of backlash that might be trust upon the girl.

With one last eye narrow (you could blindfold her with toothpicks at this point), she whips around and walks back to Thor, placing herself sideways on his lap and relaxing into his hold. Peter passes her (Drink Order) down the table, and (Y/N) takes it.

Clint, Bucky, and Sam try and hide their laughter when the meeting starts again as they look at their long-time teammate cradled and curled up in Thor’s arms, head on his shoulder and under his chin as she sips her drink with an angry look in her eyes and a pout on her face.

All wrapped up like a baby.

[gwydionmisha]

South Park, Anti-vaxxers, and an Outbreak Dream

I had one of my perennial plague dreams.  (I'm a life long plague watcher.  1 was a 14th century specialist before I parted ways with academia.  I was dreaming about epidemics since the mid-to late 70's.  So no, it's neither an AIDS thing nor a Covid thing.)  In this one there was an outbreak of a weaponized... okay, not really small pox, but best described as some sort of Anthrax/smallpox cross?  But not really.  It was sort of an Anthrax timeline on latency and infection, with both pox and lesions and a small pox like rash following the lesions by about 12 hours, and lung symptoms.  

A High school was the target, so the authorities locked it down and were trying to do quarantine and triage, but given how infectious small pox is... yeah.  which is why the small town also had perimeter quarantine, since people could be infectious before the fever started and airbourne pathogens are bad.

I was lucid dreaming as is often the case. so I took to the air on the theory that a couple stories up was safer, grabbed a bedroll, provisions, etc. and was setting up camp on a roof top with a structure that could provide an overhang, as is a thing I often do in zombie outbreaks and epidemic scenarios in my dreams.

So I'm up on this roof top watching a massive crowd of parents and families gather in the sports fields around the school, all breathing on each other without masks and trying to press up on the National Guard as they worked themselves into an angry frenzy and it suddenly dawned on me:  Anti-vaxxers are panicky nonsense south Park parents.

Bear with me.  I hate south Park.  I used to watch it while I was teaching because the kids were watching it, and it's good practice to read, watch, and listen to what they are consuming.  It was essential to watch south Park in particular because 1. They'd tried to get around you using stuff from there and catching them every time taught them you were hard to trick that way.  the more pop culture one was up on, the more they assumed one was basically omniscient and it solved a lot of problems before they started, and 2. The middle Schoolers would come in Monday morning with serious questions and concerns about what they saw and if they knew you knew south Park they'd ask you and you could use it for teachable moments, and things like that were where I did some of my best work as far as media literacy and getting kids to really think about what they are consuming.

But I fucking hate South Park for all the ways it's regressive and toxic.  It's fed antisemitism and homophobia and transphobia and sexism and science denial and a whole host of toxic things in American culture.  I hate it.

But, this connection I made in this dream has haunted me for two days.  There's this thing the adults in South Park do where they hear something or something happens and they don't actually listen properly and they just panic and wildly over react and lose their shit and the next thing you know there's this mob of incensed nonsense spewing people who are violent or borderline violent.

I can't say one way or another if 25 years of this shitty regressive show being on the air and popular has caused this or merely reflects the shittiness always under the surface in American, but I saw that irrational nonsense and pathogen spewing crowd reacting exactly the wrong way in a pandemic and I thought of the anti-semetic South Park show with it's hysterical nonsense adults and the Neo-NAZIs making Ottawa unlivable right now and and Trumpist swastika waving anti-vaxxers beating up teachers and storming American state capitals and trying to overthrow the government and it just... felt like the same thing.  idk.  It's not deep, just an image stuck in my head from a dream.

[xaidyl]

You could explain individual stuff! I find these explanations very fascinating, actually! OwO

okay! lets do this (this may be a very long post with lots of my random opinions but we’ll go with it) (and also please bear in mind these are jokey and in no real way a representation of these real people with real actual lives.)

***spoilers for most D20 seasons with this cast***

1.The babysitting 

Actual parent:Brennan 

From my experience DMing, you are effectively a parent to the players. He would also be an excellent dad

Wine aunt: Siobhan

Siobhan gives me vibes of someone who would take a bottle of wine to go babysit, then sit and tell the kids stuff about cults that they weren’t meant to hear. She would definitely teach the kids swear words, and they would love their cool auntie 

Great at babysitting: Lou

Part of the key to babysitting is being relatable to the kids, but also self assured enough to get them to behave. the person who holds that key is Lou Wilson. He also has played dad-energy characters, and that is the kind of vibes that you look for in a babysitter. 

Mediocre at babysitting: Murph

This scenario needs some theatre of the mind. Imagine Murph, he’s read all the babysitting books, he knows everything he could need to know, he lives with Emily Axeford. He’s more than prepared for this task. He tries so hard. The kids love him. The kids also walk all over him. They don’t get to bed in time. He wanted to do a good job. He tried so hard to do a good job. Yet somehow, luck is against him. 

The house is on fire, God is dead: Emily

Fig. Sofia. Jet. All three of these characters would set a house on fire without hesitation, and not one fears God. What does this have to do with Emily’s babysitting ability? Well, all these characters are teaching us to be chaotic beings, just like Emily. We are the children, and D20 is our babysitter. Emily would only replicate the same thing in this babysitting scenario. 

The children: Zac and Ally

I believe it was episode 9 of the unsleeping city. Neither Zac nor Ally were involved in the scene in question. Siobhan makes a reference to Eliza Doolittle, to which Zac makes a Dr Doolittle joke. Beardsley then shouts ‘I can see my dick’, a reference to a different film. This is fairly normal behaviour, and would not make either of them children in this scenario, had they not continued to hysterically laugh for the next ten minutes or so. Sat at opposite sides of the table. I think Zac starts crying at some point. They are absolute children, and also both have strong baby energy. Neither babysit, they are the ones that need babysitting. 

2. Can they be killed?

Cannot be killed: Brennan

The man is a God. Enough said. Also I’m pretty sure your body would reject your soul before it allows you to kill him. 

Can only be killed by one thing: Siobhan

You would be tricked into thinking Siobhan would be easy to kill- her constitution score is so low, after all. However, you would be wrong. The low constitution score has only made her stronger. More aware. What is the one thing that can kill her, though? Nobody knows, she’s only told those she truly trusts. It could be the most rare poison in the world. Or it could just be Mike Trapp. He (allegedly) has previous.

Can be killed but it won’t last: Emily

It is not anything to do with Emily that her death won’t last. In fact, Emily would be pretty easy to kill. However, if you kill her, Murph will do everything in his power to bring her back. He travels to the end of the earth, and then Emily Axeford is back and gets her new death date in a fancy gothic necklace.

Can be killed but at what cost?: Lou

What cost? The cost to the world. The world would be significantly worse off. You wouldn’t be able to live with yourself. It’s not worth it.

Can be killed but it’s not worth it: Murph

It’s not worth killing Murph because you would have precisely 0.7 seconds before you were killed by Emily. There is no way you can profit from this scenario, you would be dead before you even realise you’ve been successful. 

Can be killed and it would be pretty funny: Zac

I feel like we don’t discus the correlation between Zac Oyama characters and dying enough. Gorgug was the first D20 death. Lapain was the first D20 perma death. Ricky just like had a weapon that causes him to die. If you killed Zac, it would just be funny because its happened so much. Sorry Zac.

Can be killed but why would you, you monster?!?!: Ally

We’ve already discussed this. Beardsley is Baby. Leave them alone. 

Please kill them they suck: Box of Doom

I dont trust them

3. The fitness gram pacer test

this is definitely the most controversial of the charts, but there’s three of things you need to understand about my reasoning.

1. Zac is fast at running  

This has been seen a couple of times, namely: adventuring party, where Zac tried to tease Brennan about showing off how fast he his at running, but it turns out it was just Zac speaking his mind, and he is the one who always shows off at how fast he is at running. Also, the video on Siobhan’s instagram of Zac jumping over that table. 

He is also very bad a squats. Why would you be bad at squats? Bad knees. Why would you get bad knees? Running without sufficient warm up. Why would you skip warm up? Because you are very focussed on being able to run fast. 

2. Zac is willing to defend his title of running fast

The way he accused Brennan on adventuring party, he knew what he was doing. Sabotage. Brennan may also be able to run fast, but Zac would prevent him from getting a good score. How? He has his ways. Zac is a good boy, but not when it comes to running fast.

3. I felt bad

I had to give Zac at least one good one :)

Anyways onto the other choices:

Actually tried and got a low score: Brennan, Murph, Siobhan

We’ve already spoken about how Zac sabotaged Brennan to be the best at running. Murph is here because he would try really hard but something unlucky would happen. His shoelaces come untied. He accidentally gets caught in the Zac/Brennan feud. 

Siobhan started off with the intention to try, but after Lou, Emily and Ally had all done, she realised they were in fact much more interesting than the fighting going on. She walks out mid lap 

Didn’t try, got a low score, doesn’t give a shit: Lou and Emily

Its important to understand that both Lou and Emily are capable of getting a high score, they are just better than the whole thing. Why is their DnD group doing a pacer test? Why did Zac suspiciously force them to do this whole thing? 

The difference between them is Lou knows the feud is stupid and has like actual work to do? He sits and auditions for some other big film. He still watches over his laptop. 

Emily however, simply wants to watch the world burn.

Despite their different approaches to the situation, they both have a bet going on who’s going to be the fastest runner.

Ran one singular lap and finished: Ally

Ally Beardsley shows up at the track wearing a rainbow bucket hat and a tie dye shirt that is impracticable to run in. They have a llama with them. At no point do they explain this. They walk round the track once, drink their water from a plant pot, then spend the rest of the time cheering on the others with words that don’t quite make sense. 

4. Storming Area 51

They cant stop us all: Zac and Brennan

Neither mean it maliciously, but both believe entirely in what they are saying. 

Brennan is definitely the guy to go mad over a conspiracy theory. He made all the crown of candy NPCs. He is basically betraying himself. He knows not to trust anyone. He doesn’t trust area 51. The next season of dimension 20 is this as a subliminal messages all the way through. 

Zac says it accidentally. He’s making a character for the charity livestream. He’s still got a hundred hours of character making left. He’s done so many bad squats. Unintentionally, he makes a character that forces all the zesbians to storm area 51. 

Have fun getting shot, dumbasses: Lou

The rest of the cast are being weird again. Lou is equally as capable of being weird, but sometimes they need to chill. It starts with Emily talking about diner ice. It finishes with Brennan wearing a foil hat at all times. 

You guys stop, someones actually gonna do it: Murph

Murph is a good, lawful boy.

Actually shows up: Emily and Siobhan

They ride a motorcycle there together. They wouldn’t have gone alone, but as a duo they are an unstoppable pair. Emily wants to break into a government facility. Siobhan desperately want to be in the real life x-files.

One of the Aliens: Ally

Emily and Siobhan open a door at area 51. Behind it is Ally Beardsley. They are wearing a rainbow bucket hat and a tie dye shirt. They have a llama standing behind them. This is not explained at any point. They drink from a flower pot and eat a quesadilla that appears out of nowhere. 

5. Stabbing 

Would never stab anyone: Murph

Murph is a good, lawful boy

Would stab in retaliation: Lou, Murph, Zac

Lets be honest, the entirety of a crown of candy so far has been these three taking stabs (or metaphorical ‘where is your bulb now’ stabs) as retaliation for a stab another one of these three had done.

Yells “I won’t hesitate bitch” first: Ally and Siobhan

I can’t really explain this one much more other than i’m pretty sure both these people have said this phrase at least once in their life.

Would stab as a warning: Emily

This would be promptly followed by Murph getting her to stop stabbing. Or, depending on the situation, encouraging her to keep stabbing.

6. The water fountain

Fills up a bottle and drinks from it: Lou and Siobhan

This is the normal way to drink from the water fountain. They were also both very concerned at watching Beardsley’s various different drinking apparatuses in adventuring party. 

Bought 4 water bottles so this wouldn’t happen: Murph

He is prepared. Something probably still goes wrong, but at least he’s got three water bottles left. 

Drinks straight from the tap: Brennan

Brennan is a busy guy. The tap is there, it’s convenient, he needs to get back to planning. There’s so many campaigns, so many characters, so many voices. 

Dehydrates: Zac

Honestly I’m not sure if this man would drink water if nobody told him so

Drinks from a puddle: Ally

like they drink from a vase with a flower, a puddle really isn’t that much of a stretch.

Licks the tap: Emily

She just wants to see the world burn. Also, she knows Brennan drinks straight from the tap. She has to get payback somehow. 

7. A child starts crying

Makes the child laugh: Lou

We’ve already discussed how Lou has dad energy. I feel like he’s know exactly what to say and how to act to get the child to stop crying. This is less stupid than the rest of my explanations, but I always love how expressive Lou is when he plays dnd. I’m not sure whether its the way he holds himself or the way he gestures, but I’m pretty sure if I was a crying child, I would stop crying if Lou Wilson told me a joke in that very soothing point.

Tries to play with the child: Siobhan and Ally

These two kinda give me older/younger sibling vibes. As a team I recon they could create a game that would calm this child down. Also Ally knows techniques to help adults calm down, they could probably implement these ideas into a game for children.

Gives detailed instructions: Murph

His knowledge comes from the books he has read to learn how to babysit, and the one time he babysat. His explanation is rather frantic however, mostly because he is trying to defend Emily in his answer.

Cries with the child: Zac

He’s sad because all his friends are speaking to this child an nobody noticed how fast he just ran.

He’s also baby, as we’ve said previously, so he probably relates to the child somewhat

The reason the child is crying: Emily and Brennan

The child just watched episode 9 of a crown of candy. 

[gaylotusthatexists]

safe

pairing: roceit

summary: After accidentally letting out his secret, Roman runs away from home to his boyfriend Janus.

trigger warnings: running away from home, homophobia, bad family relations, sympathetic janus

word count: 1382

a/n: heyyyy i’m a day late with this one bc trash man’s birthday, but day twenty... five? i think? yeah. yesterday’s prompt was ‘mistake’, and this was a lot of fun for me asfhfkdhd. hopefully i should have today’s fic up later tonight as well, but for now enjoy this :)

ao3

Roman had made a mistake.

This wasn't rare for him - as much as he tried to deny it, he was always a mess, and an absolute idiot, and really he should have seen this coming. Still, he'd made a huge mistake, and he wasn't sure how he was supposed to fix this.

That was why he ended up outside his boyfriend's house at almost eleven pm, shivering from the cold (because of course he'd forgotten to grab his jacket) and debating whether he should just turn around and sleep on the street for the night. Going back home wasn't the best idea - he'd just ran away from home, returning would just complicate things further. But he didn't particularly want to stay outside in the cold, either, so instead he knocked on the door and waited for a response.

An older woman opened the door and Roman's face fell. He didn't recognise her - this was Janus' house, right? Yeah, Roman walked Janus home every day, this was definitely his house. Although, Roman had never actually been inside, and also hadn't met Janus' parents. He really should have thought this through a little more.

"Can I help you?" the woman asked, looking a little confused.

Roman cleared his throat. "Uh, sorry to come so late at night, but may I just ask if Janus is in?"

The woman nodded. "Yes, I- I think he's still awake. Janus!"

There was some shuffling upstairs, then footsteps coming down, and Janus emerged behind the woman. He frowned. "Roman? What are you doing here?"

"I..." He glanced at the woman, then back at Janus.

Janus sighed. "Mum, is it okay if Roman stays over?"

"It's eleven, Jan, I don't even know this kid-"

"Please."

A long silence, and then, "Alright, fine."

She moved away, heading further into the house, and Roman leapt into Janus' arms, just now realising how much he was shaking. Janus held him there for a while, awkwardly rubbing his back, before leading him up into his bedroom and sitting him down in his bed. Roman clung to Janus, refusing to let go - he'd always been a touchy person, of course, especially with Janus, but this was a little more than usual. Still, Janus allowed him to hug as tight as he wanted, until eventually Roman pulled away.

Janus looked at him, seemingly waiting for some kind of explanation.

"I'm sorry," was all that Roman could manage.

"It's okay," Janus promised, repositioning himself in bed so they were both leaning against the wall, with Janus' arm around Roman's shoulders.

"I... I made a mistake," Roman whispered. "A huge mistake. And- And I think my parents are going to kill me."

"I think that might be a slight overreaction-"

"They found my Twitter."

It took a moment for that to sink in, until Janus finally said, "Oh."

"I was doing so well keeping everything hidden, but..." He closed his eyes, breathing in and out. "They know everything now. About- About you."

Janus hugged Roman tighter, and Roman leant his head on Janus' shoulder. "Everything will be fine," Janus promised. "I'm sure they'll come around."

"They won't." He felt like he might cry, but tried his best to hold out. His parents knew he was bisexual now, so what? This- This shouldn't be that big of a deal, right? Right... "We had an argument about it," Roman continued. "They- They said I was just making it up for attention, and eventually I'd settle down with a wife and kids and all, and I just... I told them about you, and that just made them even more angry. So- So when I went up to bed I just kinda... jumped out the window, ran here."

Janus was silent for a while, slowly moving his finders around Roman's back in a circular motion, before he said, "I'll fight them for you, if you want."

“No, I..." He breathed in. "I just don't see what their problem is? It's like... they always tell me that they love me no matter what and that they always just want me to happy, but like, as soon as I express that I'm just a little different to the way they think I should be, they hate me for it."

Roman's phone started buzzing in his pocket. Groaning, he pulled it out and glanced at the screen - his mum, of course. He knew he should have left his phone at home.

"You don't have to answer it, y'know," Janus said, allowing Roman to move away from him a little.

Roman bit his lip. He... He supposed his mum did deserve to know where he was, chances were she was just worried upon seeing an empty bedroom and an open window, but at the same time Roman felt like she didn't deserve to be a part of his life anymore, if she was unwilling to accept him for who he was. He didn't want to pick up the phone just for his mum to yell more abuse at him.

He let the call go to voicemail, then collapsed against Janus' side. Janus pulled him back into a hug, wrapping both arms around him now as they sank down, moving to cuddle under the covers. Roman felt safer in Janus' arms, safe enough that he could close his eyes and drift off to sleep.

He woke up again a few hours later, to the sound of his phone ringing next to his ear. He sat up, Janus mumbling a quiet protest next to him, and grabbed his phone, not thinking before he answered it.

"Roman, thank God, are you alright?" the voice on the other end said.

Roman blinked a few times, trying to figure out what was going on, before his eyes widened. It was his mum calling, again. Shit. "Uh, hi, Mum," he said, heart beginning to pound in his chest. Janus stirred next to him, slowly sitting up as well and looking at Roman in confusion.

"We've been looking for you all night!" his mum exclaimed, concern leaking into her tone. "Where are you?"

"I'm-" He glanced at Janus, then locked his eyes on the wall. "I'm at a friends, don't worry."

He heard shuffling on the other side of the phone, a door opening and the sound of wind. "I'm coming right now, what's the address?"

Roman's heart started pounding in his chest. He was beginning to remember the events of earlier that night, and why he was at Janus' in the first place. He didn't want to go back home, not after that, not just yet. "Mum, I-"

"Roman, just tell me the address."

"No-"

"Roman."

Roman hung up and turned his phone off, throwing it across the room. He took several deep breaths, holding his head in his hands, before Janus slowly wrapped an arm around his shoulder again, pulling him back into a hug.

"You don't have to go back to her," Janus whispered, rubbing his hands in circles on Roman's back.

Roman sunk into Janus, trying to stop tears pouring down his face. "I- I think I have to."

"No, Roman, you don't." Janus sat up and repositioned himself, forcing Roman to look at him. "You deserve better, okay? You can stay here as long as you need. At least until it's safe at home."

"It... It is safe-"

"From what I've heard, it doesn't sound safe." In all fairness, Janus wasn't wrong. "Just stay here a while, yeah? My mum will understand."

"I..."

Janus hugged him again, and Roman buried his head in his boyfriends chest.

"She'll find me," Roman mumbled. "She won't let me see you again."

Janus continued to rub his back. "She won't find you here. I'll make sure of it. She doesn't know where I live, correct?"

Roman was silent for a moment. "Yeah, she doesn't."

"Nor does she know where any of your other friends live?"

"I don't tell her about any of my friends," Roman said. "All she knows about is our family friends."

"Then she won't find you here," Janus concluded. "And remember, I turned the location off on your phone so the government can't track you-"

"-so neither can she." Roman let out a breath. "I'm... safe."

"Yes Roman." Janus planted a small kiss on Roman's head. "You're safe."

[that-house]

Hey so I hit 100 followers today!

Buckle up, this is gonna be a LOOOONG post.

I quite honestly expected it (while my ego is a little smaller than my jokes make it out to be it is definitely present), I didn’t expect it to happen so fast.

It’s not an insane milestone, plenty of people have 100 followers. A hefty portion of my followers are bigger than me. But it’s still important to me. Knowing that there’s 100 people out there who enjoy my shit makes me happy.

First and foremost the credit quite honestly has to go to ahegao George Washington. No, I’m not joking. Until I posted on r/tumblr about my desire to draw that, I had 0 followers. I jumped to like 10 overnight, which was awesome. And then those new followers helped me spread my posts and get more attention.

Secondly I’d like to shoutout @imaverysadgirl and @themeaninglessjumble. You two were my first real tumblr frens. You were the first of my followers to really interact with me. Ember, I’m super happy you’re alive to see me hit 100 followers. Jumble (I don’t know your name unless I forgot it), your art and creations are great and you deserve way more attention.

To all the rest of you, you guys are great, too. Every new follower makes me happy. I’d say I don’t deserve you all, but my colossal ego says I do. Regardless, being nemesi and getting called out for being horny on main and sending and receiving asks has made this last month or so great.

Finally, for all the shit it gets, and for all the shit it pulls, [tumblr] really is pretty dope. I got to meet you all, and it’s actively making me a better person by exposing me to groups of people I’d rarely interact with in real life.

Why does it feel like I’m saying goodbye? I’m not, don’t worry. I plan to stay, and neither death nor pain shall drive me from this hellsite. I’m just saying thanks.

Now with the thanks out of the way, I want to talk about myself a little. Just the stuff that I’ve always wanted to say and never quite gathered my thoughts and found the time to talk about.

You’re gonna get to know me so well! This is like a mini autobiography!

First off, my mental health. This is something I don’t talk about much on this blog, mostly because it doesn’t need much talking about. I’m doing pretty well, to be honest. I have a smattering of anxiety and I’m maybe a little too introverted for my own good, but I’m not suffering from depression and the only time I ever even remotely considered suicide was when I just really really didn’t want to go to French class. COVID has been great for me, since I don’t have to see people. I suppose I’m not a great person to talk to if you’re struggling with depression or suicidal thoughts, seeing as I can’t personally relate, but I’m still always here for you guys if you need me. Just because I haven’t lived through your experiences doesn’t mean I can’t try to help.

Next up I want to talk about my sexuality. This one’s a bit of a mystery. For the past 16 years of my life I’ve considered myself 100% straight. But lately (let’s be honest, following the release of Spirit Blossom Thresh) I’ve been wondering if I might be bi. How many times can I joke about wanting to smash sexy boys before it’s not really a joke anymore? And if I am, a lot of things would suddenly make a lot of sense. But every time I think I have it figured out it suddenly feels like I have no clue what’s going on. Regardless, my sexuality has honestly never been a massive part of my identity (though I’m definitely not asexual, my friends can attest I’m far too horny for that). I have no clue if I’m bi and for now it’s kind of a fun little adventure!

I guess I’ll talk about school and stuff now. Believe it or not, I’m kinda smart. I’m taking a shitton of AP courses this year. But I simultaneously feel like it’s too much and not enough. I’m smart, but I’m not a great student. Compared to my dad, who graduated college with a 3.98 GPA (and his only B being in History of Canada as an American) and now has a super well-paying government STEM job that he loves, I feel like even if I work my ass off I’ll never quite measure up. And my parents have had super high expectations of me, and it’s only recently that they’ve started to accept that I might get some B’s here and there. I’m worried about all the homework this year. I’m a year ahead in Math but I don’t feel good enough at math to be taking AP calculus junior year. I’m worried I’m going to get like a C. But for the most part school is alright, too. That’s sort of the trend in my life. Everything’s alright.

Time to talk about my love life! I have no love life! I’ve been single for 17 years and probably stand no chance of changing that until at least college! Haha I’m so alone! But I can live with it. Growing up an only child with a few friends means that I’m pretty good at functioning without a ton of social interaction, and, while I’d like a partner someday, I’m not desperate. I can wait until I find someone. Pretty much my goal is not to die alone.

Onto sports maybe? I played soccer for most of my life, and was always the worst player on the select team. I was too good for the normal team and not good enough for the select team (kinda like math). Soccer was really toxic, especially when you’re the worst player on a team of high school jock drug addict boys. So I quit, and started playing frisbee! It’s a lot better. The people are nicer! But my first season never happened because of COVID and now I’m in my Junior year and haven’t played much frisbee! So I kinda suck! But I’m physically fit and that’s good enough for me! On my own time I bike and run to stay in shape.

Are you still with me? Now I’m gonna talk about my hobbies and things!

I’ve been playing video games for a long time. I kinda suck at them to be totally honest. I probably have below-average reaction time, and my parents only let me play 15 minutes a day for most of my childhood, so I have a lot less practice than most of my friends. I’m pretty slick with Swain in LoL tho.

This next part is borderline shameless self-promotion, but since the Kickstarter isn’t live yet I guess it doesn’t count. I’m making a tabletop role playing game! I’ve been working on it for the past few years. My goal is to launch the Kickstarter prior to my college applications, because that’ll look sexy as fuck to potential colleges. It’s a post-apocalyptic sci-fi game where you play as supersoldiers trying to reconquer the wastelands of Earth for humanity. I’ll do a big post on it when I launch the Kickstarter, and I guess that’ll also be a full name reveal (kinda spooky since my full name is ENTIRELY unique and one-of-a-kind. More ego boost lmao).

And finally I want to talk about my art and writing. I’ll start with my drawing, and finish off with my writing, since that’s what I’d most like to be known for on here (but that’ll never happen because my caveman brain shitposts are too funny).

So I’ve been doodling for a long time. I briefly got formal art training but sacrificing my Saturday mornings to draw what someone else wanted me to make so that I could make better stuff in the future didn’t appeal to my 8-year-old brain. I draw in the margins of worksheets. I draw on random sheets of paper. Recently my parents bought me a drawing tablet, and I’ve been trying to improve at digital art. I’d say I’m getting better, but I don’t practice nearly enough. All in all my art serves its purpose. It makes people laugh and can sometimes creep people out. It’ll never go in a museum, and I’ll never make money off of it but whatever.

And finally, my writing.

How can I talk about writing without talking about reading? I’ve likely read more books than both my parents combined, and if not, it’s close (and my mom is a prolific reader too). I have three bookshelves in my room and books on every surface. You can’t follow me for long without seeing a post ranting about my latest read. I love to read and I read incredibly fast. Reading spurred my love of English class, which in turn helped me write.

And finally, we get to writing in and of itself. I’ve been writing stories since I was a little kid. I’d like to think I’ve improved a fair bit. I’m still no novelist, but I consider myself a fairly adept short story writer.

But I suppose where my writing really stems from is my bed. Every night while I’m lying in bed, I tell myself stories until I fall asleep. I work on a story until it’s done or until I get bored of it. Along the way, in the shower, on my bike, I build the world of the story, crafting the plot. Sometimes the stories are elaborate fanfictions of my latest reads. That’s probably how they started. Often, they’re unique worlds all of their own. My current writing posts are about the City of Mammon, but my current story in my head is about some vampires who hunt other vampires in Victorian England.

And now we get into the process of writing. It’s fun! I sit myself down with an idea in my head, and use all the fancy words I picked up from my books to convey the vibes I want. I honestly wouldn’t be a great writing teacher. It’s just a skill that comes naturally to me as a result of what I’ve been doing with my free time my whole life. And it’s beautiful. And every time someone compliments my writing or reblogs it, I love writing just a little bit more.

Well I guess this is it. The 100 follower special. I wonder how many of you guys will take the time out of your day to read this. Hopefully a lot!

James (or That House) signing off for the night!

<3 thanks guys

[purplesurveys]

1024

What would you say is your favorite food? Sushi. < Ahhh, this is a good one. My favorite is down to a tie: it’s either chicken curry or burgers.

What color eyes does the person you like / love have? Are they pretty? Dark brown. I’m not too sure what the second question is referring to but yeah, she and her eyes are both pretty.

What was the first television show you were obsessed with? Hi-5, omg. That show was my life in preschool and I always watched the 12 NN replay as soon as I got back home from school, back when I was still on a half-day sched. I was so hooked I remember having legit tantrums before starting Grade 1 because grade school meant full days in school and thus having to miss out on the show entirely.

Do you like Mexican food or any other foreign foods? For sure. All my favorites are Asian (Indian, Japanese, Indonesian, Chinese, etc.) but I also enjoy Italian, Mexican, Greek etc cuisines. I generally haven’t tried African cuisines but I really, really want to.

What color is the keyboard you are currently using? The keys are black with white lettering.

Do you own any of those ‘chunky’ and cute rings? Nope, not my style.

What are you planning on eating for dinner tonight if you haven’t already? I saw my dad cooking up something deep-fried; it was like his own version of katsu or something, or maybe it’s fish fillet? I’m not too sure what it is yet but I’m excited and will probably eat lots of it as I skipped all my meals and have only been running on coffee and vape all day - not good.

Do you own an iPod or MP3 player? If so, when did you get it? Technically I still do. Haven’t used it since high school. I got it when I was 10 back in ‘08; I was envious of the kids in school who had iPods, so I asked my dad to buy me one even though I wasn’t super into music at the time. Not the best kid in the world.

When was the last time someone took your picture? Last Saturday when my package came. Apparently online deliveries now require your photo to be taken upon receiving your package and I think it’s for the seller to keep track of their transactions. I’m not a big fan of the new procedure, but it’s whatevs.

Would you rather write a report or type it on a computer? Type. 

What color was the last jacket or hoodie you wore? Gray.

Do you receive more compliments or insults on a daily basis? Neither, really. I haven’t been talking to people a lot; and when I do it’s for work, where I receive neither compliments nor insults.

Who is the lead actress / actor from your absolute favorite movie? Audrey Hepburn and Albert Finney, or Matt Damon and Ben Affleck.

Can you recite the alphabet backward? [continued from last night] Slowly, but I’m sure I can finish it.

Do you eat chili when you get a hotdog, or do you like it plain? We don’t do hotdogs with chili here. I generally don’t see chili much where I live and I wouldn’t call it a common dish.

Would you say it’s easy for people to make you smile or laugh? At first I thought it was, but I’m slowly realizing that it isn’t.

What would you say is your favorite cereal, if you even like it? Cookie Crisp is the only one I like. I don’t have cereal often.

When was the last time you went on vacation? Where was it? It was a quick weekend getaway to Tagaytay and then Cavite, if it counts.

How many states have you been to in your lifetime? Zero.

Do you and your friends normally say you love one another? Yep, especially with Andi and Angela.

Have you ever been an outcast at your school or anywhere else? I was definitely one in early grade school, and again in Grade 6 when both my closest friends migrated in a span of six months, and I spent nearly all my lunch periods alone. Looking back on it, I’m really glad I powered through and made it here because I truly wasn’t happy at the time.

Do you own any dresses? If so, what colors are they? I have lots of sundresses and little black dresses because I was into those for a very long time at one point. Some of them are black, obviously, but I also have dresses in blue, maroon, and olive.

Would you say you drink more pop / soda than you should? I never drink soda as I’ve always felt like I spend more time complaining about how drinking it feels like burning my tongue and throat than actually enjoying it.

Would you rather have orange juice or milk with your breakfast? Water.

How many different colors has your bedroom been painted? Just one. The walls have been white ever since we moved here 12 years ago.

Do you cuss? If so, do you ever cuss in front of your parents? I’ll slip in front of them sometimes but I never get in trouble for it anymore.

Would you ever tell your mom about the things you’ve done sexually? Our humor together can be raunchy sometimes but I don’t think I’d ever do this. I dunno if she wants to hear I’ve had sex with a girl either.

Is there anyone out there who can make you cry very easily? Yes.

What was the worst news you’ve heard this entire week? *In the last week, hearing about the typhoon’s effects in other cities didn’t feel good. This entire country is literally only getting by with donations from the private sector because the government isn’t doing shit for cities and families who got severely affected by the typhoon; it’s almost depressing to hear and read about.

Have you ever been in a car wreck? I’ve been in minor car accidents but it would be too much to call any of them car wrecks. They had all just been tiny bumps or thuds.

Do you have your ears pierced? If not, what do you have pierced? Yes, my mom had my earlobes pierced when I was an infant. I don’t plan on getting any more new ones as I’m not really into piercings.

Has anyone ever told you that they think you have ADHD? Nope.

What is your biggest pet peeve? When people reach out first via text/IM then even if I get back to them in 5–10 seconds, it takes them a long time to get back to me. It’s especially annoying if they classify it as urgent, I drop everything to reply quickly, then they end up disappearing. Like why?

Do a lot of people understand you completely? Who does exactly? No, I like keeping a wall up. 

Would you say you’re really good at cooking and baking things? Haha no. But it’s something I want to be skilled in, definitely. I’d love to be able to make the food I usually just thirst over on the internet. I’m taking baby steps, like figuring out how to make certain sandwiches, but I have a long way to go before I can consider myself any good.

How is the weather outside right this second? It’s been a little cloudy this morning but it might start to get fair seeing how I’m beginning to see the sky turn blue. I’m just hoping there won’t be too much sun, period.

Do you have a lot of trees around your house? What about buildings? No buildings as I live in a gated village. We have a number of trees around, but I wouldn’t call it ‘a lot.’

Would you say either one of your parents are 'pack-rats?’ No. I have that title, and I believe I inherited it from my great-grandmother who was a bit of a pack rat herself, as I’ve been told.

Have you ever disowned anyone in your family? For what reasons? Kinda. I don’t associate with one of my uncles because he has a terrible drinking issue that he never got to permanently fix. Whenever I see him at family gatherings he just smells like stale gin or whatever it is he drinks, and it just ruins the essence of family reunions for me. As recent as Christmas Day last year he drove drunk and crashed into a car with an entire family, but as always his ass got lucky because 1) no one in the family got hurt, and 2) said family let go of the lawsuit they were planning to file against him.

Have you ever seen That 70’s Show? Do you watch it regularly? I tried watching the first episode but genuinely could not find it entertaining for the life of me. Sorry, Mila :(

If you could choose, what decade would you rather live in? I never really think about revisiting decades - they’re already behind, so what’s the point? As bad as the 2020s have been looking, I’m okay with staying here.

How often would you say you get sick? Once a year at most.

Is there anyone out there who has hurt you so much, you wish they’d die? I used to wish they would die, but I don’t feel that way anymore.

Has anyone ever called you a socio-path before? I don’t think so.

When was the last time you watched a movie in theaters? December.

Have you ever moved to a completely different state before? We’ve moved to different regions before.

Do you mind it when surveys ask you really personal questions? No. Isn’t that part of the point of surveys?

When was the last time you told someone you love them? Thursday or Friday I think, when Andi said it to me first and I said it back. I wasn’t having a good day and they were just looking out.

Which one would you like more: kiss on cheek / kiss on neck? Depends on my mood. Right now a kiss on the cheek sounds nice.

Does it bother you when people steal your stuff on MySpace? This never happened to me because I had Myspace for such a short time and I never caught it at its peak. Also, how do people steal your stuff over there? That’s pretty intriguing lmao

Do you have freckles? Do you like / dislike them? I don’t have any.

Who would you say is the best actor / or actress in your opinion? My biased ass would rally for Kate Winslet all the way, but some other great ones for me are Toni Collette, Emma Stone, Jodie Foster, and Natalie Portman.

How many times have you been drunk in your life? Many.

What would you do if the last person you kissed said they hated you? Be confused and ask them to give me a few concrete reasons. I don’t think too highly of myself, but I know I’ve never done anything to make me deserving of hate, especially with regard to us.

Do you ever think you might be pregnant? No, it has never been a worry of mine.

When was the last time you acted really immature? The weekend.

Do you enjoy watching comedies or horror movies more? Horror. I never watch comedies and the only subtype of it that I watch is romcom.

As a child, did you ever have an imaginary friend? Yeah but it lasted all of five minutes until I got bored with the concept.

Does anyone call you baby? Who would that be? No.

Can you rely on one or more people to take up for you? I have no idea what take up means. If this also means ‘stand up for me,’ then yeah I can.

[yutaya]

Iron Fist Rewatch 1x04: Eight Diagram Dragon Palm

Danny, struggling to pull himself onto that light post thing with his probably now bruised chest: "I dedicate myself to the service of all beings of K'un Lun-" *falls* So is this a recitation they do in training - is he trying to use that mindset to help him climb this beam? Is he doing some sort of traditional ask-the-gods-to-bless-me-with-strength thing?

Lol somehow I had remembered it as Danny crawling up again anyway after the initial push. I forgot they actually went and collected him. Guess that makes them look more favorable to him than my own recall though...

On the coffee table directly facing Danny when he wakes up, probably meant to be a sign to him about where he is and who has so kindly rescued and tended to him after his unfortunate tumble off a building: the formal pic of Harold and children, another photo hard to make out - my first thought was the vacation photo of the 6 of them but it's very sepia, could be something else. Maybe if I look back at other photos we've seen before I could match it.

Danny: "What happened to me? Last I remember I was climbing up-" Ward: "Yeah, like goddamn Daredevil." LOL

UGH THIS WHOLE HAROLD INTRO SCENE UGH Danny mad at Ward one second and then Harold appears and it's like the breath is punched out of him. Looking at Ward and Ward just calmly looking back because he clearly knows what's going on and Danny doesn't - it's as if they're bringing him into their confidence on something. This is a form of offering Danny something he wants - to be a part of something with the only family he thought he had left, not to mention the miracle of one of his parent-figures being alive again. (Wow, what a journey. From finding out Harold is dead and then Ward and Joy both quite clearly rejecting him and denying him a place in their lives to Joy actually doing something to indicate maybe at least she still wants him around after all? To wait, Ward and Harold bringing me in on something too? It's like the dream he clung to in K'un Lun got snatched away and now seems to be trickling back, and - UGH.) "You see him too?" because Danny thought he was seeing things that night at the hospital but this- this is real? Ward's sad, small nod because he knows so much more about Harold than Danny does, and he's seeing this innocent joy (word choice intended) while knowing himself to be wary and that this is almost definitely another manipulation (but what if it's not? What if-? But Harold is still dangerous, he can't help it, there's a reason Ward wants to protect Joy from him even while knowing that Harold favors her so dearly, because there are other ways to hurt your children-)

Harold calmly walking forward while wearing a black suit and confirming "I did die," followed by Danny's "You look the same age as when I last saw you..." - Vampire AU??? (Ugh but why did it have to be Harold? Not a fan of monsters as the bad guys.... need a non-evil vamp to balance him out....)

The way Ward just keeps looking silently between the both of them, like a witness, like - UGH.

"You're home now," GOD DAMMIT and Danny's relief and gratitude and Ward's somber look down I -

Cancer lasted 3 years

Ward: "Dad, are you sure you should be saying this?" Harold: "It's ok. Danny needs to know this." Casting Ward in the opposition role

Ward sits down in the chair adjacent to the couch Danny is on. Harold crosses over from where he was standing near the left side of the couch to sit on the farther right side instead - specifically sitting in between Danny and Ward.

Harold: "I still remember my last breath. Scariest shit I've ever experienced." Ward looks up and away, taking a breath, before turning back again. Combo of eye-roll at dramatics and genuine pain at the thought because that's his dad and Ward remembers those years of pain and decay and - ?

I forgot Danny originally thought of the Hand more like a fable than a reality - and finding out they're a real, present threat combines with being told it's not K'un Lun that they're threatening, but that this whole time, they've actually been digging their claws into his home?

Ward rolling his eyes with his whole body when Harold encourages Danny to think about this as ~embracing his destiny~ hahaha

Ward: No offense, but Danny has zero idea how to do business and therefore maybe shouldn't be running a company with again, absolutely zero training??? Harold: Don't mind Ward being a petulant brat who wants to keep you from your rightful place in our family, Danny. I need you. :)

Harold to Danny: "We've needed a fighter like you back in the family." - right in front of Ward, yet another small "unlike you, who are weak" jab. In line with the whole "Joy can close the deal, you, Ward, can not do anything" lines in the previous episode.

Ward warning Danny about Harold!! But not really doing it great so it could be taken as another 'othering' where Danny could hear 'Harold's not YOUR dad' instead of Ward's intended 'Harold's not your DAD' - made much better by his clarification that Harold only cares about Harold and helping to show he meant 'not a good supportive dad you can lean blindly on' than if he had just. left it at that. I'm glad for Ward's continuing with that line and for Danny's long, considering look at nothing afterward. Gives the sense that Danny feels that something is off, even if he's not sure what.

Colleeeeeeeeeeeeen and her shame and her truly believing in honoring the code of bushido and her teaching these children to get them "the scholarship" to help them in a legitimate, meaningful, honorable way (SOB) and believing that their skills should be about the code and not be about flashiness or showing off or being able to lord their power and ability over others or money -

Code of Bushido (Includes eight virtues, and this episode title is Eight Diagram Dragon Palm. Coincidence???)

1. Rectitude or Justice (refers to PERSONAL rectitude - “one’s power to decide upon a course of conduct in accordance with reason, without wavering” “the bone that gives firmness and stature...without Rectitude neither talent nor learning can make the human frame into a samurai.”)

2. Courage (Bushido distinguishes between bravery and courage - “Courage is doing what is right”)

3. Benevolence or Mercy (“Love, magnanimity, affection for others, sympathy and pity, are traits of Benevolence, the highest attribute of the human soul”)

4. Politeness (Courtesy is rooted in benevolence - “Politeness should be the expression of a benevolent regard for the feelings of others; it’s a poor virtue if it’s motivated only by a fear of offending good taste. In its highest form Politeness approaches love”)

5. Honesty and Sincerity (interestingly, rather than what *I* personally think of when I hear the words “honesty and sincerity”, the info in the Bushido code text about this virtue mostly centers around the idea of disdaining money and riches - probably what Colleen is talking about with her whole “fighting for money breaks the bushido code” thing)

6. Honor (referring to non-martial behavior)

7. Loyalty (bushido text about this seems mostly in context of loyalty to a superior, to your leader, to people you are indebted to. Applies tragically to Colleen and her personal experience with Hand culture. To me, of course, I am more interested in the idea of those leaders deserving your love and your loyalty hand-in-hand with it. Given the other virtues, this IS probably what the code meant to include, but from a modern standpoint it seems like one of those things where especially paramilitary organizations or cults like the Hand could twist the letter of it into an expectation of blindly following orders, even perhaps against your personal devotion to the other virtues)

8. Character and Self-Control (“Bushido teaches that men should behave according to an absolute moral standard, one that transcends logic. What’s right is right, and what’s wrong is wrong. The difference between good and bad and between right and wrong are givens, not arguments subject to discussion or justification, and a man should know the difference.” I get the ideal of this, but something about the wording sits weirdly with me... maybe the implication that they can’t make a mistake?)

Ageless qualities of manliness: choosing compassion over confrontation, and benevolence over belligerence <3

“The tie might be a touch effeminate” Shut UP Ward

Danny, at a press conference: *waves at Jeri* “Hey.” Jeri: *shakes her head*

Danny: “Yes, I was in a mental hospital.” Joy, despairingly: “Oh, Danny”

Jeri smiling. Maybe she worked with Danny on how to handle the press conference and likely questions he would face? My headcanon from this anyway. Ward and Joy looking at each other, seems like in surprise at Danny’s answers and spin?

“Kindness is the eternal law”

The way Danny slips in to this conversation with Joy about the Red Hook property for his Hand investigation is very well done. Reminds me of watching the Netflix trailer and thinking that it made IF look like a show where Danny was some form of government agent going undercover as himself for an investigation.

SO CUTE how Danny goes “woah, I have a first appointment of the day? Who is it?” and then he turns around and it’s his friend Jeri! Hahaha. Danny: “J-money!!” *goes in for a hug* Jeri: “Woah, we don’t do that.”

Jeri: “Your father’s office. Even found his old desk.” Meaning she was the one working on this - Ward is the one who had to set Danny up there after his sarcastic remarks in the penthouse, but Jeri brought in the sentimentality. (Jeri, directly after basically admitting to putting a bunch of effort into a very sentimental gesture here: “Now don’t get all weepy on me.”) Jeri in IF is so soft I love it

Danny: “I pretty much had to raise the dead.” *smirks to himself at his own inside joke*

Jeri, trying to give Danny advice: “For most of these people, you are a hostile takeover.” Me: JERI, HE DOESN’T UNDERSTAND THE NUANCES OF YOUR CORPORATE SPEAK.

Jeri asks if Danny wants the door open or closed. He chooses open. Open to Megan, open to all his new coworkers and employees. Danny is, at his core, for people.

LOL Did Danny just steal Ward’s chair?

Danny: *forces half the board to move so he can sit next to Joy* Me: DANNY

If these guys really wanted to persuade Danny to their point of view on the sell-at-cost thing, they should have emphasized the “funding new research” part of it instead of just repeating “this is just business” ad nauseam. Obviously Ward is actually trying to do the opposite right now and get Danny driven out, but idk what the rest of these people are thinking. Danny acknowledges that they can still make profits elsewhere, which is his side offering a dialogue to meet them. Their counter is that the WHO will be buying it from them and subsidizing it from other people. If they wanted to meet or even just appear to be meeting Danny partway, they could have suggested an initiative to work with the WHO on a program for that? Although since none of them want to actually do that and don’t really care what Danny thinks about it, I know why they didn’t.

Joy raising her eyebrow at Ward’s declaring that they’ll go to market at cost like “I see you Ward and how many times have I told you to leave the maneuvering to me you are unsubtle and unskilled”

Danny looking back at Ward significantly on his way to his discussion with Joy about the pier deal

Ward taking The Drugs before he has to answer Harold’s late night phone call

Harold: You did a great job today. Ward: *baffled expression* Harold: Now, son, this isn’t the time to point fingers, it’s the time for solutions. Ward: There it is. Harold: Also, you screwed up in the meeting and you need to make it up. Ward: *sigh*

Danny: white sneakers with the suit

Joy casually placing the monks and their traditional robes in a lower class position to them and their white collar formal business attire

Time for Joy to play the angle on Danny, curb his at-cost behavior for the future

The ringmaster choosing the second fighter for Colleen followed by that “look, you guys know all the rules” line - I like this guy. He probably remembers how the last dude Colleen fought was a rule-breaker and wants to keep all his fighters safe as possible in an already dangerous 2-on-1 fight like this.

Again with the camera slowing and the noise fading and the blood splattering camera work giving the “losing control” vibe

“The problem was, I never thought through WHY I wanted this job. I mistook my stubborn will for a sense of... destiny, or something.” (Danny, earlier: “My shifu would have called this destiny.”)

“Every moment was a struggle. Failure... led to a beating. Victory... led to another fighting style. To the next lesson.”

Joy flat out calls it abuse and Danny doesn’t deny it.

Vodka and tonic, light on the tonic.

Danny clearly still shaken by the borderline flashbacks to his life at K’un Lun.

Is this the first time the Hatchets appear? Just storming the apartment and punching Joy in the face? Danny and Joy must both be like “WHAT IS HAPPENING”

Joy tries punching one of them. Good for you, Joy.

Ah yes, Ward flat out telling one of the more shark-like reporters that the drug is a huge deal that would save millions of lives and that Rand was of course planning to really boost the price to make a “huge” profit. “That is a loss of hundreds of millions of dollars [that our one company wanted to make off of the millions of people who needed this drug to save their lives]. He’s worse than those bleeding-heart-liberal-trust-fund hipsters wandering around Williamsburg.” (Note: Williamsburg: hip neighborhood that draws the young and fashionable. Boutiques, cafes, street art, outdoor concerts and food markets. Dance clubs, bars, music halls. East Williamsburg is ranked one of the 5 most LGBTQ+ friendly neighborhoods in Brooklyn.)

“Ellison, don’t give the front page to Karen”

Ward just looks at her retreating back and rubs his hands together like “Ah yes, a job well done.” Biggest question for the viewers in this scene is probably: Did Ward tank this on purpose or is he really that far removed from the reality of the non-Elite?

Colleen: still bloody from her illegal cage fighting and hears noise outside her door. Last time she heard noise, it was attackers breaking in for what probably seemed to her like retaliation. Then it’s Danny and she has the relieved exasperation, but - oh ho, Joy Meachum?

“Wasn’t he stalking you?” “It was a misunderstanding.” “Right. I guess being a millionaire covers a multitude of sins.” (Danny: “Billionaire.” Colleen in the background: *disbelieving huff+head shake*)

TRIADS. Time for my triad rant: Every drama show ever to involve Asian-Americans - even just in one-episode specials - includes triads. I’m so sick of it. I know organized crime is a real problem that actually exists, but - why are the Asians always evil? It’s like having the mafia be a plotline every time an Italian character exists on screen. Plz diversify. Media colors perception.

Danny: literally just walks into a restaurant and says he needs to speak to the head of the crime gang. AND THEN NONE OF THEM EVEN BOTHER TRYING TO DENY IT. The Hatchets literally just open the door to their backroom where you can clearly see their illegal activity and come out to talk to Danny. What if he was working with the cops, guys?

It’s so scary how the Yangshi Gonsi react to the mention of the Hand. Well done, IF.

“Joke around the house was that Danny and I were pledged to be married.” (“In another life, this would have been romantic.”) (THIS CREEPS ME OUT THOUGH in a very personally specific triggering way as someone who spent their childhood running around with a boy that I found out later people thought was gonna “knock me up someday.” #BARF)

Colleen has a billionaire in her dojo learning how to punch on a dummy held together with duct tape because she can’t afford to fix it. (Also: Colleen's dojo is also for self-defense classes. Joy was just attacked by hatchet-wielders.)

Danny: "The hatchets won’t be a problem anymore." and then doesn’t elaborate. DANNY THAT SOUNDS SO SHADY. YOU LOOK SO SHADY RIGHT NOW.

Danny: *reaches out and touches Colleen’s hand* Colleen: *flinches back* What are you doing? DANNY. DANNY, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD. You seriously have no idea how you come across. Joy is watching all this like “wow....ok.”

Danny used to fight in illegal fight clubs on his way back from K’un Lun. Along with his obtaining an illegal fake ID. New headcanon: Danny is actually super connected to the criminal underground worldwide. Mob bosses everywhere have a soft spot for him. He’s somewhere on a mission with Ward/Colleen/Defenders/HfH and acting like he knows the area, someone recognizes him and he starts chatting cheerfully with them, suddenly they’re being greeted and helped out by people deep in the black market scene while Danny bear hugs someone that most people clearly fear and his companions look on with wide eyes.

Danny, a literal billionaire: Remember how I offered to pay you six months rent for helping me out? Colleen, broke as hell: My denial stands.

Danny: So how are we gonna tell Ward? (framing them - all three of them - as a team) Joy: lmao, are we thinking about the same Ward? You want to tell the most overprotective big brother in the world that men with hatchets attacked his sister? Do you remember what he did to those bullies when we were 8?

Gao: *black bags Harold, refuses to tell him where they’re taking him, doesn’t reveal that this particular instance is him landing on the ‘good’ side of the scale until the last possible second.*

Ugh, he just puts that sword back in the scabbard with all the blood still on it? Improper blade care

Oh yeah, I guess this is the audience’s first scene showing that Harold is capable of cold-blooded murder

I notice that this article may be the front page of the business section, but is NOT the front of the newspaper. Sorry, Jennifer.

[I had initially transcribed the article here, but have made it it's own post which can be found here. Notes on the article, though: Jennifer was very kind to the Meachums in it, given what Ward was actually saying. Also, which Bulletin employee fell down on grammar checking that thing?]

Danny’s Jeri-given apartment doesn’t have a number on the door, but does have some sort of cherry blossom branches etching in the plate?

The Hatchet box!!! (congrats again @Sholio LOL) Yang Hai-Qing wants Danny to get rid of the Hand too. He wasn’t gonna mess with them, explained they didn’t know about the Hand's involvement when they went after Joy, and apologized, but then the Hand came to his restaurant and killed one of his men anyway.

Ah yes, the great tattoo reveal. Also, is that a bullet’s pucker scar on Danny’s left shoulder?

[squidprinceofwinterfell]

Stick of Truth Commentary

Intro

Intro cut scene is a nice touch! The animation is nice, and it adds story and stakes to the game the boys are playing. Reminds me of “Lord of the Rings.”

I like how the boys see the stick as a golden staff, but it’s literally just…a stick.

Create your character

Fighter, Mage, Thief, Jew – which is the best and why?

Intro to New Kid and family

Dialogue between parents creates an ominous backstory. Who is looking for New Kid and why?

New Kid is a mute weirdo and I love it.

The first quest (making friends) reminds me of “The Sandlot.”

The shitting feature is awesome.

New Kid meets Butters and is brought to KKK

What exactly is the power of diabetes?

Chekov��s Clyde!

It’s cute how cool everyone is with Princess Kenny.

I like that every player is called Douchebag, but I wish every player didn’t have to play as a boy.

Elves attack

Funny how Cartman’s alarm is just Butters yelling “Alarm!”

Cartman has pretty good commentary when New Kid is fighting. I actually miss that later on.

How did the elves snag the stick? Either Clyde is a bad watchdog or Kyle is super strategic. I choose both.

New Kid must find Token, Tweek, and Craig

Token

I never knew Token was so rich that he had security! It’s probably to keep Cartman out.

I love that Token’s property is calling Dark Meadows.

Token: “The elves took the stick again?” Haha!

Tweek

Tweek is the only employee at Tweek Bros.? That’s called child labor!

I love that Mrs. McCormick thinks the meth heads in her garage are just nice renters. Is she being paid in meth?

Why would a 10-year-old boy be an undercover cop? Only in South Park.

Tweek was totally named after the word “tweeker.”

Craig

Craig is in detention for (of course) flipping off the principal. Is Principal Victoria still principal at this point?

Craig’s alias is Feldspar the Thief? I refuse to believe this isn’t a reference to Malcolm in the Middle.

On the “thief” option at the beginning, Cartman says he’s never seen a white thief before, yet Craig is a thief. Hmm…

“Heeeere they come…I’ll be outta here in ten minutes.” Smug, snarky Craig is the best Craig.

I like that Mackey seems to know he’s in a video game (by referencing the boss fight). It’s very Deadpool.

The Bard

The Inn of the Giggling Donkey is just Jimmy’s house. His living room is convincing as a bar/lounge/hangout.

Twitter = carrier raven

“There once was a maiden from Stonebury Hollow / She didn’t talk much, but boy did she swallow / I had a nice lance that she sat upon / The maiden from Stonebury who was also your mom.” I love Jimmy’s songs!

Butters: “No hurry, Douchebag. The princess is just being raped.” OMG

An elf was jumping on the bed to simulate raping Princess Kenny? The boys are really committed to this game.

Cartman: “Good job, Princess Gone Wild. Double D buddy powers.” Kenny flashing his man boobs is the best distraction tactic.

The Brown Note is Jimmy’s best attack.

“Welcome to the KKK!”

Alien abduction

Cartman’s fart lessons finally come in handy! New Kid’s ass is too strong to be probed.

I love that alien abduction is viewed as just another annoying part of living in South Park.

The guy from the recordings is the hobo hidden onboard, right?

The Nazi zombie hobo is the game’s first instance of the Nazi zombie plot. It tells us that the aliens are responsible for this when the ship crash lands to Earth and green goo gets in the sewer.

New Kid crashed an entire spaceship. He’s kind of a badass. And he gets to keep the alien probe!

The big bad government is involved now to deal with “another UFO crash.” How often does this happen??

Only South Park would try to pass off a UFO as construction of a Taco Bell. And only South Park citizens would believe it.

Recruitment (pt. 1)

All New Kid has to do to get the goth kids to join is put on black clothes. I’m glad to see they still have low standards.

New Kid finally meets Stan and Kyle! I’ve been waiting for this.

According to Kyle, Cartman lied about the stick being stolen and is hiding it. According to Cartman, Kyle is lying because New Kid can’t retrieve the stick if Kyle claims he doesn’t have it. It’s a game of “he said, she said” but I’m inclined to believe Kyle. This is Cartman we’re talking about…

PTA meeting

I’m disappointed no one yelled “Rabble, rabble!” at the PTA meeting.

Is no one else alarmed that Randy lured a young boy into the bathroom alone?

“That’s all you’ve got is a sign? At least crap on a desk or something!” Mr. Garrison is speaking highly of Cartman, I see.

She-Ogre

“Give me back my iPhone, DEMON!” This is an accurate depiction of a brother-sister relationship.

It’s adorable that Stan uses Sparky in battle.

Taco Bell

I love that the big bad government agents are such bad liars that they killed a guy asking about encharidos.

“Goddamn it! I’m so tired of Nazi zombies. It’s so…overused!” Haha!

I’m surprised the adults actually took the bombing threat seriously and weren’t bummed about no Taco Bell.

Recruitment (pt. 2)

The final goth test is DDR?? That’s so conformist.

Once you win the goth kids over, you can recruit them to either Cartman’s side or Kyle’s. I always pick Kyle’s side when I play this. I’ve been itching to betray Cartman since this game started!

South Park Elementary

The huge battle scene takes place at the school because it’s where Cartman supposedly hid the stick. South Park Elementary is busted and makes a great setting for a battle scene. More “Lord of the Rings” vibes!

New Kid’s farts help Kyle’s side get the upper hand. Take that, Cartman!

Another reason choosing Kyle’s side is better: New Kid’s battle against Butters is more impactful because he was New Kid’s first friend. If it was a face off against Stan, it wouldn’t be as emotional.

The final battle gives New Kid one last chance to pick a side. Like Stan says, “I can’t believe this is even a choice.” Kyle vs Cartman is like Chanel vs Walmart.

Yet another reason choosing Kyle’s side is better: Cartman’s farting fire at the end of this fight is one of the best scenes of the whole game.

Clyde

I love the twist where neither Kyle nor Cartman was lying. Clyde really punked the fuck out of everyone.

Kyle is the only one to acknowledge he’s aware of the green goo and how dangerous it is.

Stan: “Clyde, but why?” Cartman: “I banished him to be lost in space and time and now he’s all pissed off.” Haha!

Clyde’s fortress is so badass. I can see the appeal of the dark side.

How the hell does Clyde have control over the Nazi zombies??

I love that Clyde’s power move is keeping his friends out past their bedtimes. The stakes are higher now, but this reminds us this is still a kid’s game…or it started as one.

Underpants gnomes

Gnomes: “The kid is awake! What do we do?” “Oh, fuck, I guess we gotta kill him!” Me problem solving.

Since when do underpants gnomes have warlocks?? I thought they were all failed businessmen.

For some reason, high pitched gnome voices yelling “Oh, fuck!” is really funny to me.

New Kid fighting underneath his giant parents mid-coitus is another iconic fight scene. How many times must New Kid dodge his dad’s ballsack?? The kid is hardcore.

The girls

Kyle convinces everyone to team up against Clyde. I’m continually impressed by Kyle because of his leadership, intellect (he spent all night researching), and open mind (he doesn’t balk at teaming up with the humans or inviting girls to play). I’m totally Team Kyle, if you haven’t noticed.

I love that the girls blindfold New Kid when they bring him to their lair. That’s some Mafia shit.

Annie: “He…doesn’t really talk.” Bebe: “That’s hot!” ME

Sunshine, sparkle, glitter…I wanna talk like this all the time.

Heidi Turner was the two-faced bitch! That’s very Mrs. Cartman of her.

Abortion clinic

New Kid’s abortion doctor is named Dr. Poonlover because of course he is

The big bad government is doing Plan B at the abortion clinic. Clever joke!

Where did Randy get that blonde wig from?? The men in South Park cross-dress so much.

Khloe Kardashian’s aborted fetus as a Nazi zombie is also a legendary fight.

Canada

New Kid didn’t get that his photographer was a pedophile even when he was almost butt naked?? Also, who was that guy who jumps out from behind the boxes?

The layout of Canada is clearly a parody of Pokemon games, right? Either way, I love it. The shitty jpeg videogame look is very Canada.

“They’re like wolves, but they’re dire.”

Getting trained by Terrance and Phillip makes all this back and forth bullshit worth it.

Clyde’s fortress

Of course Cartman butts in when Kyle’s trying to give an inspirational speech. What an attention hog!

It’s funny to me how easily Craig switched to Clyde’s side. Loyalty much??

“I really found myself relating to Clyde’s views about darkness and enslaving the world.” Jesus, Craig!

Cartman’s negative reaction to electricity is a callback to the chip put in his head in Bigger, Longer & Uncut.

“It’s my favorite kid!” WOW, RANDY

“Who could it be?” I love how long New Kid lets them all wonder before he steps up.

Stan: “Dude, that’s not Taco Bell sauce.” Clyde: “Then why’d I find it at the Taco Bell?” A+ logic

How dare you, Clyde! Let Chef rest in peace!

Government interruption

“Whenever aliens are spotted, vampires run amok…” Vampires exist in this universe??

I love that the boys don’t care about the big bad government’s scheme.

So New Kid’s special power is making friends on social media! I should’ve known.

Princess Kenny’s betrayal

Princess Kenny planned to steal the stick all along! This game is full of betrayals.

Kenny makes a pretty cute anime princess. Nazi zombie? Not so much.

Princess Kenny is a badass final boss. And I never saw it coming!

I’m glad the “never fart on someone’s balls” joke meant something in the end. I can see why it was banned – it’s super deadly!

End

The boys unite to save friendship and love…by chucking a stick into a lake.

New Kid stole Cartman’s catchphrase!

Why did Al Gore appear so ominously at the end?? What are you gonna do to the kids, Al Gore??

[2ofswords]

Dankovsky ^^

Oh dear! Strap yourselves in, we are going to be here for a while! Also another warning: There is a mention of suicide in “a headcanon about their future”. (Which is probably very telling of said headcanon… Also: There are spoilers!)

their biggest strength

I guess having academic knowledge is a cool thing, but honestly, I would go with determination and willpower. I mean… while it might not be the best or most healthy situation ever, staying alive while having the sandpest out of sheer spite and willpower is still a fucking achievement! I mean to a certain extend all healers share this drive, but for me the way the Bachelor’s determination works is fucking inspiring and just the thing that keeps him going. While being the one who is like not hunted for sport (most of the time) he gets dealt a fucking terrible hand when it comes to dealing with the sandpest (neither any menkhu rights nor any magic, not being allowed to acquire the necessary components or equipment for his area of expertise, being the most distrusted and getting the least information, oh and of course getting told to solve the situation in a specific and completely counterproductive way by multiple parties) and most of his successes come from going through with it despite that, and screaming at people who don’t want to listen. While it can become (or be seen as, depending on perspective and circumstances) rude and insensitive this mindset is what gets the plague acknowledged and at least some of the measures established as a result. His whole thing is seeing an impossible task and going for it anyways, his entire goal of defeating death has that vibe and while he might never live up to his own standards I think there are things to achieve and to get done along the way that are of great value. Also while it might come of as arrogant, I think the mindset of “Yes I can do this, I will make it” when going against great odds is actually very inspiring and useful. Also I think it sometimes gets confused with thinking one is better than other people or just above human limits, with… isn’t always the case and you can actually see in his own route how it is more of an “I need to do this so I will make it.” But I digress and before this ask completely turns into another “Daniil Dankovsky defence squad post” of mine, I will leave it at that and say, that I think the way he moves forward and tries to archive great things by sheer willpower and determination is commendable, inspiring and one of his greatest and most important character traits for me.

their greatest weakness

This is a hard one for me. Definitely not because there are no weaknesses, but more because a lot we see in the game is a bit situational and/or an amalgamation of different things that morph into one single shitfest that I cannot really find a word for. I have thought about using single-mindedness but I actually think it is inaccurate and a word used often for him that while coming close to what I want to say does give of a very different vibe than I am going for and there are definitely aspects, where he isn’t single minded at all and as I said: very situational. Sooo… I would like to introduce my favourite weakness to give a character (seriously like 80 percent of my OCs have this one): tunnel vision. Kind of a downside of determination but also alluding of the fact, that our dear Bachelor likes do dismiss peoples opinions if they don’t match up with his own. But I don’t really think this is because he is generally dismissive of everything (because he shows signs of interest even in the town and it’s culture when it is not interfering with his work and while I wouldn’t dare to say that his handling of the situation is a good one, I think it is largely enhanced of the whole plague thing going on and also of everything getting in his fucking way). Example: getting really weirdly pissed at Lara for telling him that there probably isn’t any (human) source for the disease is not really being “fuck you, I am better, you know nothing” and more “no. There is one, this is my goal so there has to be one”. You know… tunnel vision. Same with most of his rants about the town that are mostly like ��why wont you give me the information I need in the terms I could use?” or “why the fuck can I not be an efficient doctor in this town?” It disregards the towns uniqueness in a way that is dangerous and bad for both parties, hinders his work, and damages the town. It can also lead to my first instinctually chosen word, single mindedness, because it leads to this disregard of others peoples opinions but I think it is more of a symptom and it doesn’t mean that he looks down on people all the time (oh, he definitely does sometimes but I would argue not as much as people are saying) but that he is so much in his own mind, that he doesn’t even think about considering! (Which is also bad but in a different way.) It also explains why I feel that most of his downsides are very situational: Because they are! They are a result of him setting himself certain goals and then being very very hard to change his way of looking at the specific problem. It can be helpful and is also kind of a part of his strength but at the same time are his own downfall. (I mean, just look at the letter of “a” and his complete and utter disregard of it! He has his standards and by god he will keep them no matter what anyone is saying.)

a headcanon about their childhood

Not a childhood one and only a pre-canon, but I think, he designed the coat he is wearing in Patho 2 himself. Or at least with like a friend who also creates fashion and either he went to the poor artist with a plan and that guy was like “are you sure..?” and Danko was like “Yes. This is exactly what I want” or the friend was also into weird fashion and they made this horrible thing their own little problem being like “fuck the clothing conventions, we are making everything asymmetric and… horrendous”. Either way it is a deliberate choice. (Also if the designer was up for the project it is the same one who made Andreys pants. ^^) To also have a childhood one: I think Daniil was one of those children who idolize their parents a lot and talk to others about how great they are. I also think he had a falling out with his father at some point, but they had a really good relationship in childhood.

a headcanon about their future (if they have one)

Tbh I have a massive amount of different ideas about the future and it depends on so many things. I absolutely can see him going back to the capital and getting executed and I also can see him seeing to his own death after a different character’s end (oh, old black train! You have tainted my heart with my own tears! Thank you Ned! ^^) In the second game I feel him staying in town a bit more, but in P1 there is really nothing that keeps him in the end. Though I love and follow every fucking story that lets him stay or get a better ending and in my head I also have a “goes into the capital and gets brainwashed and dragged into the inquisition” storyline. That one might be fun… But again I have so many varieties. If he stays I kind of enjoy the thought of giving him an administrative job and not letting him be a slightly shittier doctor then Artemy. Tbh he is more of a scientist and there’s just is no equipment in town even if we disregard the whole problem with him not being a menkhu (something that definitely doesn’t change after the Haruspex ending). So I like to either see him as taking the Kains job after they leave in Patho and either organizing the houses and/or becoming the next judge or picking up Saburov’s job and trying to govern the town. It depends on who lives and who dies and what the political landscape is like. (For example, which part of the town Khan and Capella will regulate, because he sure as hell cannot step into their shit!) I just think it fits him better and plays to his strengths a bit more. Gives him his own thing to do while he tries to re-establish his science things. And as someone who founded an entire lab, he probably has some expertise and it’s the aspect in town he most succeeded in. But yeah, it all strongly depends on game ending and how characters interact with him because he is pretty much broken by the end of it and needs some form of support or opportunity to find his bearings.

a small detail/scene that leaves a great impact

There are so many! And a lot of small lines that people already made great points about! ^^ I already talked about the “do you condemn me?” line so I will use a different one. Let’s go with “What does ‘erdem’ mean? ‘Arrogant fool’, maybe?” because I freaked out about this one in my second playthrough. I was so delighted by Danko showing interest in the steppe language in my first playthrough that I completely disregarded the “arrogant fool” part which… honestly shame on me, it’s now one of my favourite things! Because it is one of the very little moments where Danko actually shows self reflection and I think the reason is less that he doesn’t think of himself as said arrogant fool and more that he is normally not showing it but this little jab allows us to catch a glimpse. (Also I do not think that it only is “you are saying bad thinks about me, right” and more a moment of self-deprecation, just because the insult is way to precise and fitting to be randomly picked. If it would be, he would go with “city quack” or “outsider asshole” or something along these lines. More what is actually said and less concrete.) I already said that I think Daniil is psyching himself up a lot about being able to do things and telling himself again and again that he is in fact capable of all these things, but that also leads to the acknowledgement that one is indeed an arrogant fool. I think he is aware of not being pleasant and arrogant and while there are other sometimes more direct and sometimes more subtle ways this gets addressed (“I am not nice” in Patho one and generally how people talk about him in his own fever dream and are telling him what a piece of shit he is) but this one… also hits close to home because this joking kind of self-deprecation is just so familiar and common to me. It hits close to home while containing a pretty interesting piece of characterization.

their philosophy/worldview (or part of it) described in one neat little sentence

Urgh, I only put this in the meme to torture myself, didn’t I? Um… I really like his “If you bend your mind towards a challenge the skill will follow in your hands.” So I will just steal it from the man himself. It describes his emphasis on the mind as well as the importance of being focused (ha!) on a set goal and following it through. It also makes reaching goals and acquiring said things sound possible no matter what it is, and last but not least: it doesn’t really specify your ability but what kind of person you have to be but a state of mind you should be in. It is universal. And since I am really fascinated by his way of dismissing other people while still having a universal respect for human beings, I like to incorporate this aspect. ^^

[legobiwan]

Just got home from The Rise of Skywalker. No pithy intro, I’m just going to jump right in and it’s going to be a LONG rant here so buckle up, my friends, and be sure to read below the cut. SPOILERS AHOY YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED

Okay, so yes, the first third of the movie went at a blistering, nearly nonsensical pace. JJ  really had to cram a whole watermelon’s worth of exposition into a...well, you know, there was a lot to take in. This movie had to do so much telling instead of showing because it was such a departure (and middle finger to TLJ) from what came before. 

The thing was, the first third was also the most interesting part of the movie. I actually wish the whole trilogy had started with all of the Sith nonsense. (Actually, I wish they had started with Kylo absolutely wrecking shit like he did and then the Palpatine scene. People would have made all the wrong assumptions and it would have been glorious to unravel it over three films.) There is a strong history of Sith artifacts in both Nu-Canon and Legends, and it wouldn’t have been out of place, considering what we know now, to have made Rey, Poe, and Finn’s quest for these artifacts the start of the new trilogy, and then told the rest of the story in a non-linear timeline. Probably too experimental for a Star Wars reboot, but it would have grabbed attention and everyone like creepy Sith shit. 

Frankly, I would have dropped zombie-robot Palpatine at the very start of the trilogy, as well. It’s bonkers but I don’t hate the Rey Palpatine thing and they could have spent the rest fo the movies explaining this weird-ass lineage and how it relates to Kylo, Snoke, etc. and then have built back to the final confrontaion on Exegol. 

Leia. Trained. Rey. I so so so so so wished we had been able to get more of this. This, in my mind, is what it should have been all along. I liked TLJ (okay, so shoot me) but Master Leia is a whole other level of awesome. If I had to rewrite Luke and Leia’s roles, it would have went something like this:

Luke was searching for Sith artifacts. Luke was becoming disillusioned by what he was learning of the Jedi through “The Sacred Texts.” WHO DOES THAT SOUND LIKE? Hmmmm, I wonder....

Could you imagine Luke started to go a little Dooku in this respect, and so instead of fucking off the Ach-To because he had a feeling that was more “gravy than of grave” about Ben Solo’s dark sidedness, he fucked off to Ach-To - or even better - gave up training in order to keep himself from going down a darker path. 

And so instead, Leia is getting involved with training (and probably also governing at the same time because she would be an overachiever like that.)

Enter Ben Solo, who is Force sensitive, strong, being trained by his mother and occasionally his uncle, who is not totally plugged into the light side at the moment, which can rub off on Ben. Meanwhile, Han is maybe not the best father (he wants to be, he tries, but it all comes out wrong. I’ve been watching a lot of Psych lately, so I’m thinking of a dynamic similar to Henry and Shawn, but a little more dramatic.)

Of course, Palpatine is seeing all of this behind the scenes, he’s fostering ill will and discontent through the scattered remains of the Empire, sending Snoke clones out to be almost pseudo-religious/cult figures in the wake of the economic and social devastation left by the Empire’s fall and the floundering new government. Extremism, in pockets, rises. Extremism which preys on discontent, which preys of the desire for family, for belonging. 

Enter again Ben Solo, who has been pitted against the other strongest trainee, Rey (insert whatever last name you want. She knows it’s not her real name, she knows she was an orphan on Jakku, but she was brought by Luke to be trained). Ben is pissed how she and Leia bond, has been talking to his uncle, and perhaps encountered a Snoke clone on the way. 

Rey, on the other hand, is no one but wants to be someone, and that manifests in weird ways during her training. Perhaps she leaves at some point, perhaps not. But the seeds of her being Palpatine’s bloodline are laid within her. She wants to seek that belonging Ben has.

Okay, but getting away from my personal rewrites of the sequels, Star Wars is about family and lineage, both blood and found. There was so much potential to play on this throughout the trilogy with the Skywalkers, with Rey’s relation to Palps that if they had just planned the damn thing, it could have been brilliant. 

Moving ...(for now)

I felt so bad for Oscar Isaac. I felt like I watched his soul slowly depart his body over almost 3 hours. That man was not a happy camper and it came out in his performance. 

Power levels. Here’s the thing, guys. Magic needs to have consequences. Sure, you can cast a spell, but what does that take from you? You can use the Force, but to what degree? How much? Even Anakin exhausted himself at some points, and he was (allegedly, according to one Qui-gon Jinn), the Chosen One. It’s the first law of thermodynamics - energy can neither be created nor destroyed - and the Force is literally the energy of every life thing in the galaxy. You take the energy, use it towards something else, it has to drain from somewhere. This is what bugged the hell out of me with Rey’s Force Healing abilities (an ability that doesn’t thrill me to begin with as it’s so easy to overuse). Kylo keels from resurrecting the dead (and yeah, he was pretty beat up already), but Rey barely seems to breathe a beat harder. Once you start ignoring the consequences for magic, you end up like a shitty video game, and one of the criticisms I’ve leveled at the movie is that it feels like a montage of Battlefront and I can’t say that’s totally off point.

JEDI HUNTERS. Ochi. I will bet my right liver we’re going to hear something about this on The Mandalorian. 

So I know a lot of people wanted to see Rey Kenobi, but there was one piece of glaring evidence in the film why that would never be. (Aside from Kylo just announcing it to Rey.) She has a lightsaber, but she still ends up using a blaster. So uncivilized.

Speaking of The Mandalorian - Stormtroopers with Mando jetpacks. Hmmm.....

I loved techno-Sheev hooked up to all the equipment just floating. That was creepy as hell and played with the whole cloning and extension of life that was such a large part of the Darth Plagueis novel (which I still consider to be canon, higher powers be damned). Also, Palpy’s glowup with the wardrobe was hilarious. 

Dark!Rey was hot. There, I said it.

Let’s talk about romance. Or the lack thereof. Or the shoehorned thereof.

Poor Rose got shafted in this film with no explanation. I didn’t buy that whole thing in TLJ, but god damn anyway. (Finn also got shafted, for different reasons, which I will talk about later.)

If they were going to romance, just let it have been Finn and Poe, Finn and Rey, or fuck it, even a trio. 

I mean, I could have bought Reylo if it had been presented better. (With context. Adam Driver is an amazing actor, another thing I’ll talk about later.)

The Reylo kiss though - my theater laughed. No joke.

Of course, this was the same theater that thought Lando was trying to mack on Jannah at the end, so who knows what we were all thinking in there. (On that note, Lando was hilarious because no matter what, he was just having a grand ‘ol time in the movie. I like to think he got a medical spice card in his retirement years and was just enjoying anything that came his way, be it Wookiees, Jedi, starships, wars, whatever.)

While the Reylo kiss didn’t hit the mark the space lesbian background kiss got cheers, so there was some hope for my fellow theater-goers.

Did anyone pick up on Threepio saying the Senate made the bill that would render him incapable of translating the Sith language? No doubt that was a Palpatine move from TCW era. 

What is up with these movies and desert/jungle planets? Ugh. Thank everyone for Kijimi, at least that was interesting. 

New characters I loved: Babu Frik and DO. 

Finn’s Force sensitivity. Yes, I totally buy it. I wanted more. I wanted more fucking context of a Stormtrooper who would have known nothing of the Jedi getting these feelings and then bailing from the First Order (or, if I were writing the movies, bailing from the remnants of the Empire/Snokes weird military cults.) Totally underutilized character development. 

We. Were. Robbed. of Good!Ben. Adam Driver is so phenomenal. Form the little we saw of redeemed Ben, he is the perfect mix of his parents, from the “Ow” to the eyebrow wagging, the swagger, the smirks...I LOVED good!Ben. I wanted so much more good!Ben. What a transformation.

Speaking of which - the scene between Kylo/Ben and Han was terrific. I wish we had had more context for why everything went south, but it was so good and the type of family dynamic we really needed more of. 

The Knights of Ren looked awesome in this film? They needed to be like the Black Order of Star Wars, and they were getting to it, but not quite there. Gods, they could have been the enforcers of Snoke’s cults (Palpy’s puppet cults) that could terrorize far more than a normal, brainwashed Stormtrooper, who was only useful as cannon fodder (I mean, if we look at the history of the clone army to the Stormtroopers, it would be terribly fitting.)

That ship tug-of-war was DUMB. (See my rant about magic and consequences). But, if Rey was going to shoot lightening Palpy-style and blow up a ship, Chewie should have died. I’m sorry, that’s terrible, I love him, but there needed to be consequences for actions and throughout the film, there were either no consequences or random consequences that were a narrative convenience rather than developed into the plot/characterization/worldbuilding. 

Here’s the thing with the ST - there is so much potential. There are some awesome ideas. But they wanted to play if safe with JJ by rebooting the OT, Rian was too far out for them, there was no cohesive storytelling, and so we get these little glimpses into what could have been amidst a shitstorm of trailers for Battlefront 17. 

we could have had it allll....

Final rating: 4/10

[jfg22]

A personal story, police brutality, racism and classism:

A few years ago my parents went black Friday shopping. I decided to catch some extra sleep because I did not have to work and went to bed late the night before as my brother came over to have dinner per usual on Thanksgiving. A few hours later into my slumber I heard people knocking on my door. But I DO NOT open the door to random people. This is for safety reasons as I am a short stature, slim female woman of color so if shit goes south because some big assholes decide to break into my house. I am not taking my chances! I disregarded it as I thought maybe they were Jehovas witness’ or people soliciting some bullshit. I’m also not trying to get stabbed or murdered in my own home. Either way I could not make out who the fuck they were through my window. So I went back to sleep. 

Later on I heard knocking in the back. Still wasn’t gonna open the door. Could not make out who the fuck it was. I went to get a glass of water and next thing I know I hear a commotion in my second floor back door. So I went to look and realized cops busted through my first floor back door. The cops startled the shit out of me as I was confused af as to why the fuck cops were there in the first place. Then they came in and said that they got a 911 call from my address. I said I didn’t call 911 and they said if I didn’t let them in they were gonna bust in with force. Me being naive I let them in to look around. Let me tell you I was in flight mode because all that shit about asking for a warrant (like they do on Law & Order) did not for a second cross my mind. I was just trying to fucking survive and am lucky I lived to tell the tale. I was not expecting for police to come in and interrogate me without a warrant and I truly had nothing to hide. I was home alone by myself. They apologized for the mix-up after they looked around and I reiterated that I did not call 911 nor was I in any danger. They were confused too and said they would fix the door. The officer in charge gave me his badge number and to call him to fix the damage on my bottom first floor lock. 

I have chills at the thought that if I had fought back and asked for a warrant or answered back to defend my rights that I might have ended up dead like Breonna Taylor. This shit is not in any way acceptable and I do not by any means ask for pity.  My point in sharing this is that unlawful shit from cops needs to fucking stop. And if you cannot understand it I feel sorry for your ignorance. Please do not comment with some bullshit like I’m overreacting and I don’t deserve to be angry or sad about this. You’re part of the problem if you ignore racism. Don’t come at me with I don’t see color we are all the same bullshit because it exists and it is real people Just because you haven’t been affected by it doesn’t nullify it’s existence. 

I am not a thug, I am college educated. I am a calm person who does not start fights with people. I did not in anyway deserve to have my house broken into by cops and neither did Breonna Taylor. A beautiful young compassionate black woman who worked in 2 hospitals as an EMT saving lives and whose life was tragically cut short because of a mix-up. I see her picture and it brings me deep sadness. I cry and yet I’m also angry because I know in my heart of hearts that she did not deserve that. And truthfully I can see myself in her as an innocent woman of color trying to take a break from a sometimes stressful job and wanting to rest at home.

It angers me that racism is still an issue 70 fucking years after the civil rights movement. What the fuck? Who the fuck is policing the police? Why are we not screening these officers with mandatory psychological evaluations before they even start carrying a gun? What the hell is wrong with the system for not taking any sort of accountability for their actions? As far as I am concerned, no one who is racist or has a history of violence should even be allowed to carry a gun. 

It took me awhile to sit here and take the time out of my day to write this precisely because I was going through a lot of mixed feelings. But I’m making my voice heard because I’m sick and tired of seeing racist or oblivious folks defend their rights when they don’t even deserve them to begin with. 

People have a right to protest. Especially when you don’t agree with the piece of shit in charge and his gang of government officials that vocalize that all Mexicans or black folks are thugs or criminals for no justifiable reason. Spewing garbage rhetoric like this makes it okay for racist folks like the KKK to come out  and align themselves with the government. I have friends who are Latinx immigrants. Some are CIS hetero but most are LGBTQ QPOC activist. I can honestly say I am privileged and proud to know so many young and older folks who all contribute something to society. Some are college educated and some are not. Either way they are hard working individuals who add something to society.  We have a right to be angry. And if they’re more concerned with damage of property guess what? A human life is more important! Malcolm X and Martin Luther King are rolling in their graves seeing how white folks are being just as racist now as they were 50 or more years ago. 

White folks, Latinx people please understand that your silence speaks volumes. If talking about race makes you uncomfortable then educate yourself. Talk to black folks and Latinx folks about their experiences. Because I can guarantee you that we all have our own story or know someone who has a story of being unlawfully pulled over and searched. Try to understand the struggle for Latinx or black people in America is hard right now. If your privilege is blinding you to what has been going on in society for several years but people are now acknowledging go talk to folks out of your circle. I’m not condemning you for being privileged. I’m simply asking you to open up your eyes and realize what is really going on in the world. Please take accountability for your actions if you ever made a racist remark or were in the presence of other folks spewing generalizations and remaining silent instead of using your words to defend us. 

Also remember this is not just a race issue it is also an issue of class. Latinx and black folks have contributed to society for years. Guess who is picking your food? Who has built an empire for rich white billionaires? Look at all essential workers out in the field right now and how shitty their high profit companies have treated them? We are in a pandemic and you’re telling me the billionaire folks can’t afford to provide masks and gloves to the poor or middle class? Oh but y’all can afford to live in mansions and buy a bunch of materialistic bullshit and stay home during a shelter in place. Most billionaires don’t get rich from working hard. They get rich because they take advantage of other folks' ideas or have people working for them in jobs they don’t want to do. So let’s stop romanticizing the American dream like it’s fair. Because some people have access to an education while others have to work their ass off just to get their foot in the door. 

We are exhausted and tired of being treated unfairly by society. We can’t afford to have racist psychologically fucked up motherfuckers with guns practicing unlawful violent acts against people of color. If you disagree after reading all this wtf is wrong with you? Get the fuck off my page. I don’t have to tolerate your ignorance.

[kheta]

Dragon saves Ace and Rogue for reasons

My Disgraceful Little Shit

Another one of my trashed-fics that I cnba finishing even tho I really liked it. Mentions of genocide and execution, but nothing explicit. Head canon heavy.

Looking at the man he’d raised, as loosely perhaps as the word raised could be used, Garp felt affection laced with fear course through him. His little shit was leaving, without attempting to say goodbye either.

Or, how one conversation changed everything.

Monkey. D’s are many things, including but not limited to: exponentially talented, ambitious, stubborn to a fault, craving for adventure and kind-hearted. Some lesser known fact about them however, are their innate inability to display affection subtly, their uncanny ability to be in the middle of all troubles, their selfish tendencies and unfortunately the consequences of being adventure craving, kind-hearted idiots. Their too big hearts caused conflict with their wanderlust, especially when their displays of affection often proved too brash, too intense for people to handle. These traits had sculpted Garp in many ways, lead him onto a path he never regretted, but in his rare wistful moments when he was more Marine than he was Monkey.D, he’d look back and wonder if the things he had given up were worth the adventures he’d lived through.

He’d loved his wife, would have given the whole adventure scene up if she had asked, reluctant as he’d been. But she had never asked and selfish as he could be, he had ignored the growing instabilities their love caused. Just as he had craved adventures, she had loathed being stuck in one place. It was no surprise then, when she’d left their son in the hands of a friend they’d made back on his home island.

Dragon had been raised well, his heart wide, his brain ever-curious and his will to live strong. Garp considers it a shame that him and his mother couldn’t take credit for that. Dragon’s independence meant he often took responsibility for himself, even the first fourteen years when him and his wife had shuffled their schedules so Dragon was never without at least one of his parents, Dragon proved to be independent and asocial.

Though he loved his parents, he hadn’t needed them in a long time.

(When Garp had met his wife again, him a certified hero, her an extravagant traveller, he hadn’t asked her. Hadn’t wondered loudly if their love could have survived. They had kissed softly before she answered the question he didn’t ask, desperate and loving, but so changed from the courses of their life. Him more scarred than before, her as beautiful as the day he’d last seen her three years before, lips gentle and caressing. Her answer was a whisper in his ear, head cocked in his shoulder while his arms were loosely wrapped around her waist. She hadn’t asked him to give up adventure, because she’d never stay anyway. They could love each other, but it would never be enough when adventure were concepts engraved in their very beings, and he a Marine and her, an outlaw.)

Looking at the man he’d raised, as loosely perhaps as the word raised could be used, Garp felt affection laced with fear course through him. His little shit was leaving, without attempting to say goodbye either.

“Seventeen years and I don’t even get a bye, you little shit,” his voice booms boisterous as ever.

Said little shit snorts, but turns to face his father, cloak covering the shitty tattoos Garp had loudly disapproved of, though his son cared little.

“I’ll see you again,” he replies after a while.

Chuckling, Garp moves forward and punches Dragon. It’s a punch that would heavily bruise a regular guy, but instead only leaves his son tense. Neither his mother nor his father pulled their punches with him, not since he was a child anyway.

“Have you gone and told your mother about your stupid plans?” Garp questions needlessly.

After all, Dragon saw him at least once every six months and he’d pieced together the little shits ideas himself. His mother wouldn’t have a single clue about the independent shit storm their son was planning, though she’d sure as hell be proud. Perhaps sad that he wasn’t a pirate, like he was sad that he wasn’t a marine, but proud they’d both be.

Dragon just looks at him.

Shrugging carelessly Garp sits on the roof, weary from the day’s events and looks up.

“Are you sure about this? As soon as you make a move against the World Government, I won’t be able to help you. The second you start this, it’s just you and your own resources.”

Empty words, nothing could sway Dragon at this point. Maybe a year or two ago, but frankly Garp was never one to control his son’s life. If the shit didn’t want to be a marine, then for all he could drag him kicking and screaming, he’d still be a damn useless, if not powerful marine.

If he wanted to overthrow a few countries, then Garp could only watch.

“I’ve planned for months, I know what will happen.”

He turns to face the direction of their home, body unreadable, voice stoic. It’s a funny image, because Garp can only see the child he’d raised with an indignant scowl, a love for meat and the open body language of a child.

Laughing Garp tugs at the cloak until his son falls next to him, then slings an arm around his broad shoulder. Dragon grunts in surprise, disgruntled. He’d miss this little shit, rebellious attitude and all.

“My little shit will become a disgraceful little shit very soon, so indulge this old man why don’t you.”

Next to him Dragon scowls, looking at his father unimpressed, but makes no move to leave.

Garp’s grip tightens to a painful level across the shoulder, he was a selfish old-man who never wanted to let go. He’d let go of so much today.

His wife.

His pride.

His rival.

Now, his son.

“Is it true, does he have a child?” Dragon asks, because tact and subtlety were useless against his father half the time.

Garp shrugs, careful not to answer. They both know who Dragon’s asking about though.

“I think– If I had a son, or a daughter… I think, I’d have done what you and mum did… I’d never be able to raise them, especially not after today.”

It’s a quiet admission, some of Garp wonders if he’s going to be stuck with another kid today. The thought irks him, his stupid shit better not have knocked his lovely girlfriend up just before becoming a wanted man!

“Ouch! What the hell old man!”

Garp glared.

“If you tell me I’ve had secret grandchild and you’re dumping ‘em with me, I’ll kill you! I’ll kill you ten times! Who do you think you are, you’re only seventeen! Moreover who are you calling old m-”

His growls are thrown off by a hearty laugh.

“Whatever, I’m just saying for future reference.”

Quieting the two just look at each other.

Then, because Garp’s a sentimental old fool, he blabs loudly and it might not be the case, but if he could save a life he would. Especially if it’s his grandsons.

“They’re beginning a cull in a few weeks,” his voice is dark, while Dragon tenses, “, anyone due to have a child in the next eleven months are suspected, even more so if they have no husband. The cull, it starts first in the South, because Roger was there the longest. Then West, I’m trying to convince them that East is fine…. It’s not working out too well, some of the upper echelon are arguing that his home is the only place where he’d hide his own child. They’ve met some resistance with the North though, the Vinsmoke’s caught wind and aren’t too thrilled, Judge and Sora were due to marry soon. Not like they have much choice, but the underworlds certainly been safer than it is right now.

“It’s– Few people know about it, they don’t want the government pinned for the mass genocide of an entire generation but that’s what it is. Sengoku’s tried to reason with Kong, he got a three month suspension posing as vacation. Tsuru’s gone off on an actual vacation, I don’t know why but I think she’s trying to stop this from the outside. Or prevent a whole fucking genocide….They’re even having the balls to call it a necessary evil–– There’s no way I can stop this, if they think for a second the baby might be Roger’s, they’ll stop at nothing. I’ve tried to reason but, they’re being fools.”

Disgust taints his voice. It’s classified info, but Garp’s always bent and snapped the rules to his pleasing.

If Dragon happened to be able to save some children, then there’s no way it could be traced to Garp anyway.

Only three marines in the world knew of his son. They had never met him, never seen photos of him, only knew his name and how he described him, an energetic tyke named Monkey. D Dragon, who regularly bought his father birthday presents. Who was strong but stupid and had no connection to whatever other Dragon his soon to be disowned son would become. They didn’t even know his age and Garp’s thankful that his big fat mouth didn’t disclose any vital information about his son.

Thankful he had seventeen years with this stupid little shit, because heavens know his parents had less time with him before he up and left.

“I love you,” he whispers solemnly.

Most people would think he’d blubber, but when he gave up on changing people, it was a cold thing. Frosting his bones into silence.

There was no changing Dragon. He was a D. Moreover, he was a Monkey D. They never really changed, just grew.

“I love you too,” he gets up back turned and Garp hears the words before they even leave his mouth.

They finish the sentence in unison, “But sometimes love isn’t enough…”

Grinning, Garp heaves a sigh and clenches his fist. Monkey D’s didn’t say I love you, it was usually an action for them. A punch to remind them to come home. A push, to let you know there’s nothing wrong with moving forward or looking back. After this, there’d be no home to come back to and no punch to remind the other of what he had to live for, only words and memories.

“Would there ever had been a chance of you staying?… If I had stayed?”

Gosh he sounds like a sap, but the regret lingers and it’s not just his son he’s asking. It’s his wife. His friends and his brother, his father. People that never could understand a D, for all they loved them. Everyone he’s had to give up to keep being Garp The Hero.

“Probably...But I would’ve hated it, just like you. I’d have stayed and hated and grown bitter, because I’d felt caged.”

But you would have stayed, the selfish, selfish parts of him screams.

He lets Dragon disappear then, a show of shave that Garp hardly remembers teaching and with his son gone, Garp cries into his large calloused fingers. His too big heart was hurt so much today, it needed a few minutes for the hurt to heal. But Dragon leaving had reminded him he needed to go as well, before Sengoku caught him and forced him into postponing his visit to Rogue for too long. Garp pushes his heartache to the side, wipes his tears and searches for the most discreet dingy he could find.

He’d lost his wife and failed his son, he wouldn’t let another wife and son be failed because of him.

(And maybe in another world Garp would have sensed his son’s haki, but the pain of finally letting his wife go would be too much and he’d never get the closure of saying goodbye to his little shit. In another world Sengoku would find him and trap him into active duty. This is a world where Garp hides his heart behind his uniform and his promises would be kept, but tucked behind due date after due date, and when he finds Rogue it would be too late. But that tale, is one that’s already been told.)

And then:

Rogue lives, Ace is marginally happier growing up and I honestly don’t know where it was gonna go after that. I’m pretty sure I had plans of Ace meeting Koala and Sanji early on, maybe even Robin bc I feel like Rogue would 100% hunt down this child wanted by the world, bc fuck that was nearly her son but like. Idk how it was gonna go, just that somehow canon Strawhats and canon 2nd division commander Ace we’re still going to be relevant aspects of the story.