#because it’s such a common experience as a woman

[the-rebel-archivist]

Finally finished Veilguard a few days ago and took some time to process and put my thoughts in order. In brief: 8/10 game as a whole, a really fantastic gaming experience, but 5 or even 4/10 as a dragon age game since it does no meaningful exploration of any nuance or moral complexity and seems to have forgotten what made Thedas distinct. My thoughts, critical and positive, coming from a place of love for the series with little to no spoilers:

Thedas has always been special to me because it was a nuanced world. Different groups had different opinions based on their pasts. City elves and the dalish had divergent histories. Injustice against magic was common, but you could understand the justification for it even when you didn’t agree. Now, the worldbuilding is flattened. A mageocracy is fine, it’s only bad apples. Slavery is never addressed. City and dalish elves are basically the same but one lives in the forest. There’s no conflict about what’s best from each individuals’ perception, all groups are monoliths.

“Elves won’t follow the gods just because they’re elves,” yes they would, in past lore. Perhaps not all but some would - these are their Creators. The game refuses to deal with religious belief in any meaningful way, to the point that I don't know if its impact is fully understood. Dalish religion is as much about cultural preservation as religion and it would be CRUSHING to lose that connection to the past when it had been all you could cling to for thousands of years.

And no, seeking out relics of Arlathan would not make up for the foundation of your society shattering and what that would mean to the dalish. Bellara being guilty that her gods are evil is not the takeaway I expected when I thought the dalish would explore that everything they believed was a lie. I'd also like to briefly comment on how an elf can comment that they weren’t raised dalish but adopted their tattoos. Their closed practice tattoos. Closed even to city elves unless they fully joined a clan. Removing cultural boundaries didn’t make the material less 'problematic', it just created a new blind spot.

“They’d never sanitize the Crows” I said before release. Assassins who walked the line between murderer and hero depending on perspective. But in this game they give you absolute truth: they’re freedom fighters. Responsible government who, the mob is benevolent and that is never subverted. They see themselves as the 'good guys' and so they are.

“They wouldn’t put powerful mages in charge of the shadow dragons” I said. “Surely they will explore the nuance of Neve having the privilege of magic in a mageocracy even when she comes from a lower class beyond ‘everyone is welcome in the shadow dragons’.” “Surely if Maevaris is connected her intersectionality as a magister and altus and trans woman will come up - not what Tevinter expects, helping with change, but still privileged and upper class. Surely low class non mages and slaves would be leading the Shadow Dragons, not the powerful being benevolent.”

But no. All factions in the game are black and white, good and evil, no moral complexity. The bad people want power and collect bad people who want power and only bad people do bad things. The antagonists I liked most were the ones with a motivation beyond simply power and they were few.

And that’s setting aside the fact that all of the mystery and fantasy was removed from the setting by the end. The things that mattered before, the religious conflicts, the approaches to history? All false or meaningless now that we know absolute truth. Everything that set Dragon Age apart from generic fantasy was flattened. All of the lore for the world that I had spent hours, days, years in and creating fanfic for became simple groups of good and bad, subjectivity replaced by objective truth. It’s not a world I want to unravel and explore anymore.

That hurts more than the slap in the face that was every cameo and past reference. If they wanted a soft reboot, why include them at all? Every time I saw or heard about a past character or event I felt hurt and angry and it actively harmed my experience of the game. When the choices are pared down to only do something "meaningful" with them and then that meaningful thing is a codex that had been so disdained in dev comments? I do feel pretty let down. Especially when that codex isn’t even personalized.

They never use Rook or the inquisitor’s first name in text once. Vocal I get, but no codex? The Inquisitor, a person depersonalized into a symbol, signing off “Yrs. The Inquisitor” when we input their name in CC was a twist of the knife I didn’t expect. It’s like every time I lower my expectations to grant grace they need to be lowered yet again.

Similarly, the romances in the “most romantic game yet” are paper thin throughout the game depending on your choice, with few chances to truly connect on an emotional level and have deep conversations in some routes. It’s not all about kissing but having the chance to say how you feel, or try to.

But that’s part of a larger problem, that this is a “found family” but Rook is the outsider in it. Rook isn’t asked how they’re handling things or about who they are or what they want except by Solas. The team needs them to fix problems but has little interest in giving back. The companions are lovely, but I can’t help wishing they were friends with me and not just each other. Or wanted to romance me and not just each other, as they begin to flirt before I can and have more banter comments than the player romance. At least if no one got me I know Davrin got me.

These last comments are the reason it’s 8/10 as a game rather than 10/10 for me - the lore I care about but others won’t. The lack of connection is a genuine issue, along with how unbalanced it is depending on romance. I just feel sad at the lost potential to reflect and gain support from companions.

On a positive note, this is the most fun Dragon Age game I’ve ever played. The gameplay is top notch and combat is so fluid and fun. I felt excited to fight rather than dreading the next battle. Really getting into the roleplay of a slippery rogue

The environments are so gorgeous. Lighting, animation, level design, sound design, all spectacular. I’m bad with maps and yet I never got lost and always managed to find my way around. Secret passages to treasure were just the right length to be satisfying. The puzzles were exactly the right amount of investment for the reward. I never felt frustrated by them but also not disappointed by the simple ones, there was a good balance. I had a lot of fun uncovering them. So many areas looked like a perfect representation of thedosian places I had never been to and wanted to visit.

Every time I was in the necropolis it felt like coming home. Maybe it’s because the lore was the most similar to past lore, maybe it’s just because it was cool, but I loved being there. I loved the wisps most of all. And I loved Emmrich’s journey and sympathetic exploration of death. The Hossberg Wetlands were also a standout area. Absolutely horrible (complimentary). Evka and Antoine my beloveds and the environment storytelling was fantastic. Like a hideous combination of the Fallow Mire and Chateau d’Onterre and I was so there for it. Davrin’s story broke my last flight loving heart.

The set pieces and narrative flow in the major battles and main story missions is really wonderful. I also did enjoy the faction reactivity, even if there were few chances to explore the intersectionality of being a particular lineage with a particular faction. I’ll make our House proud Viago!

It’s such a fun game that when I play I can almost forget all of the things that I dislike until a codex or cameo punches me in the face. It has such great gameplay that I can finally discuss DA with my partner who refused to play the other games in the series. But what a monkey’s paw. I know from their previous work that they can foster nuance. From the art book that their instincts were there from the beginning. But somewhere after multiple reboots they made a world with contradiction and complexity removed, more reactive to fan discourse than to telling a complex narrative.

It kills me because if the nuance and subjectivity and moral complexity had been there, I would have considered this the best Dragon Age game ever made. It will always be the most fun. But it is legitimately more fun for people who don’t know lore than people who do, and that is soul-crushing. It's the most beautiful Thedas has ever been, and the least like Thedas it has ever felt.

I’ve played it once. I already started a replay. I enjoy the game a lot when I am playing it, overall. But I miss Thedas, and I miss that the “world worth saving” that I cared for is a slate wiped clean and this new world is a more simplistic place.

[helslastangel]

Yeah I think when it comes to men and their big 6 placements the only water sign i like being around is Cancer. Especially Cancer + Sagittarius or Cancer + Leo heavy charts. Pisces would be cool if they didn't sit back like lazy Greek philosophers and make me do the chasing, big ick ... I'm the woman here, jeez. But Scorpio just makes me downright uncomfortable and exhausted.

Every word I say to Scorpio sun, moon, mars, or Mercury men just gets taken so far out of context or interpreted in the most intense and negative or weird way possible with SO many words put in my mouth that I did not say. It's like trying to date a criminal lawyer who has been hired to defend anyone BUT you. Constantly have to be clarifying, and correcting, you start thinking of disclaimers for everything you say and holding back because you could tell a man with heavy Scorpio placements that you don't like chocolate ice cream, and instead of saying "Oh really? Aww that's a shame I love it" or "lmao I hate it too" like a fucking normal person they gotta say some shit like "oh so do you think that maybe you have some subconscious conditioning against the darkest flavor of ice cream because of how society treats minorities? It seems you might have some self-hatred going on, you should work on that"

Like... seriously dawg? No. It's ice cream. Chocolate is a flavor I merely do not like in ice cream. What in the Wattpad-reddit-pilled world is wrong with you?

And yes I'm generalizing in this moment cuz this kind of shit has happened with every Scorpio sun/moon/mercury/mars and occasionally venus I've ever dealt with. For a very long time.

It seems to be less common with Scorpio risings, thank God. They get the whole cool dark aura without the rest of this shit.

Now I'm kind of worried that I come off like this to other people as a Scorpio Venus even though that is the only Scorpio placement in my personal planets (my other placements are in Jupiter, Pluto, Node, and Juno).

I do experience this a tiny bit with Scorpio-heavy women too but honestly not nearly as heavy-handed with it. I can be friends with Scorpio-dominant women. I need frequent breaks and maybe couldn't handle dating one but it's not even half as draining at all.

Scorpio placement women seem to know how to dole this shit out in doses or raise the heat slowly. Like imagine being a frog; a Scorpio-heavy woman will put you in a little pot and turn up the heat slowly so at least by the time you're cooked you're already dead tbh like it's the definition of being killed softly but Scorpio-heavy men will just boil the water in the back while you're happily ribbiting on their shoulder having no idea they're about to yeet you into the pot with a sling slot. Like man if you don't put me back on my lilypad and leave me alone

I love my Cancer + fire sign men, they're just moody and whiny and respond to food and belly rubs like cats. I can deal with that.

I'm just really annoyed rn sorry y'all 😘

[beautyofaphrodite]

Aphrodite and Adonis

Adonis in the Myths

Adonis was a mortal prince on the island of Kypros. When his mother Myrrha was killed by her father and turned into a myrrh tree, the baby Adonis was given to Persephone who raised him. When he grew, both Aphrodite and Persephone loved him and fought over who would get to be with him. In one version of the myth, Zeus settled the dispute by saying that each goddess got to spend one third of the year with him and Adonis got to pick who he would spend the last third with. He chose Aphrodite, and the two were practically inseparable. In another version, the muse Calliope suggested that both Aphrodite and Persephone would get to spend half of the year with Adonis.

Sadly, Adonis is mostly known for his tragic death. The most common version is that Adonis was wounded by a boar sent by either Ares (angry that Aphrodite was spending so much time with Adonis), Artemis (angry that Aphrodite had killed Hippolytus), or Apollo (angry that Aphrodite had blinded his son) and bled to death in Aphrodite’s arms. Some myths say that he was later resurrected as a god of beauty and attraction, or of love.

Their Relationship

In the myths, Aphrodite loves Adonis deeply, and most of the time, he loves her just as much. In my personal experience, I have never interacted with Prince Adonis but I can tell that Lady Aphrodite loves him a lot.

Children

Aphrodite and Adonis had two children, a daughter and a son. Their daughter was named Beroe, or in some cases Amymone, and she was a nymph of Beirut. She served the goddess Artemis and was a lover of Poseidon. Aphrodite and Adonis’ son was named Golgos and was said to be the founder of the city of Golgi.

Also…

- The festival Adonia was celebrated annually by women in ancient Greece to mourn the death of Prince Adonis. When the river Adonis turned red with what was thought to be his blood (but is actually soil washed off the mountains by heavy rain), women (especially in Athens) would celebrate on their rooftops; dancing, singing, and planting “Gardens of Adonis” (lettuce and fennel seeds in potsherds). After this, they would hold a funeral procession in his honor, which included burying images of him and the remains of their gardens near the sea or springs.

- Adonis is associated with anemone flowers, also known as windflowers. This is because Aphrodite’s tears mixed with his blood were said to lead to the growth of these flowers.

- Adonis was not only loved by Aphrodite and Persephone, but Apollo, Dionysus, and Herakles. He was said to be androgynous as he acted “like a man in his affections for Aphrodite but as a woman for Apollo”

[rasairui]

@crimsaph I hope you don't mind me showing off your tags but yeah

This is an infuriating mindset a lot of fellow TME people have and it's just. So obviously glaringly selfish that it somehow loops back around into being difficult for me to articulate. Just how self absorbed do you have to be to get hit with a stray bullet and go "wow the entire firing squad is actually targeting ME!" it's maddening. Like I definitely didn't have my current knowledge regarding intercommunity issues and transness in general when that experience happened, but I remember thinking. "Wow. That was really fucked up and scary. What if he had been right? Would every day be like this if I actually was a trans woman?" As soon as somebody knows what I actually am, that scrutiny goes away. I do not have to lie about a core part of myself to get those people off my ass. Not everybody gets that reprieve. And then I see years of tme people trying to claim that transmisogyny hurts EVERYONE, actually, while steamrolling the actual targets. It's just like guys who only bring up men's mental health when a feminist gets too upset about something. None of these people would write an essay about how straight people are actively oppressed by homophobia because other straight people accuse them of being gay and that it's the gays who somehow wield fruit powers to oppress the straights, actually. Because that's fucking stupid. But apparently it's impossible to extend that type of common sense to trans women.

Idk I just have no patience for trans men/masculine people who refuse to acknowledge transmisogyny. Like. The worst experience I ever had with transphobia was when I was mistaken for a trans women. In a culinary program, I was cutting bell peppers, and one of the other students, a really big dude in a student leadership position, walks in and accusatory goes "so are you trying to be a woman, or something?" And I'm like. Well I'm trying to small dice these peppers. And I tell him I'm not a she and he says something to the effect of "Yeah I know that much." He makes some comment abt how whatever I'm doing doesn't make sense and he doesn't get it and when I tell him he doesn't have to, that he just has to respect it, he says "I don't have to do shit!" And gets real mad! Like actual threats mad! Tells me he could bash my skull in and to meet him outside for a fight and yeah it was fucking scary! The entire interaction I'm reminding myself that I'm the one currently holding a knife, if he tries anything.

Fast forward a few days later and my period is kicking my ass. Just absolutely destroying me. I'm in the dish pit, and I am visibly struggling, I'm nauseous, I'm in pain and bracing myself against walls. I'm not walking straight. And the same student leadership guy who was so aggressive with me when he thought I was transfem?

He tells me I look like I'm going to pass out. He says it's obvious I'm in pain, I shouldn't be in class, I can go sit down and if nobody can replace me he'll do the dishes himself.

Like. Do you get it yet. It's not just that he felt comfortable openly threatening me in a room full of other people when he thought I was a trans woman. It's that he did a complete 180 and was not only willing to support me, but actually pick up my slack once he knew I wasn't "that kind" of transgender. As soon as one of our classmates confirmed to him that I wasn't the wrong type of trans person I suddenly became someone who actually deserved care and compassion in his eyes. The "bigots think we're all the same and hate all of is equally" rhetoric isn't fucking true. It's just peddled to deny the privilege we have over other members of our community so it's easier to ignore how inhospitable supposedly trans-centric spaces are for TMA people.

[maximumzombiecreator]

Sorry for my ignorance but why is calling bottom surgery "the surgery" bad?

I'm not sure why I'm getting this question, but I don't mind answering.

For me, "The Surgery" as a term reflects a common cis misunderstanding of transition. In cis representations of transition, even very well-meaning ones, transition is something that happens in a hospital. A man enters the hospital, has The Surgery and emerges a woman, which is a function of genitals. But for most trans people who get bottom surgery, it's one of the last parts of transition. To even get bottom surgery where I live, I must have been living full time as my gender for at least a year.

There's no single trans experience, so I can only speak for mine, but for me transition doesn't happen on an operating table. It happens in quiet, difficult conversations and big, scary social outings. It happens in pill bottles, and appointments, and tiny little changes. It happens in clothing purchases, and makeup tutorials, and relearning what's expected of me, and complex feelings when looking in the mirror. And many trans people will say that that's not their experience at all, which is valid, but I think very few will say that it happened when they got The Surgery.

Like, for my transition at least, The Surgery isn't even the most important surgery.

And this is all pretty obvious. Like, if you try to imagine the trans experience at all, it will swiftly become obvious that your genitals just don't really impact your day-to-day life that much. And the thing is, cis people do understand this on some level. You can tell because of how scared they are of people who have transitioned without The Surgery.

One of the most common ways that trans women show up in media is that a cishet man finds a woman attractive, pursues her sexually, and then is shocked to find out she has a penis. And like, obviously that woman has transitioned. She is living as a woman, she's being perceived as a woman, she's even passing for cis. But she hasn't had The Surgery and thus she's not a real woman for the only thing that matters: being sexually available to cishet men in a way that doesn't require them to challenge their understanding of either themselves or of gender more generally.

So, that's why I cringe at the term "The Surgery." It reflects an understanding of transition that focuses on something that matters very little to me, but matters enormously to cishet men perceiving me, that reduces me to my genitals and my sexual availability, and that actively avoids empathizing with me and my experience.

Obviously, other peoples' experiences will vary, and other trans people may have far more bottom dysphoria, and a thousand other caveats. But any time I hear the term used unironically, it tells me that the person is focusing on transness primarily as a function of genitals, rather than what's really important: the ability to double jump.

[wavesoutbeingtossed]

All the talk today about a man having the luxury of dating younger while getting older to delay growing up (marriage, kids, etc.) reminds me of George Clooney. He had a short marriage when he was in his late 20s/early 30s (before his career blew up) and then was known as the most eligible bachelor and even made bets with people like Nicole Kidman and Michelle Pfieffer that he'd never get married again. He dated many women, some of which were even older than him, but the majority were not. He became engaged when he was 53 and his future wife 36. On paper, it seems like she's "old" but he is 17 years older than her. He became a first-time father at the ripe old age of 56. He could do this because he is a man. Who did not have to worry about aging like a woman. Or having children in his 50s.

Hollywood (and the world in general) is full of stories like that. Men have the luxury of time that women don’t in that situation. They have the luxury of getting their shit together (or not) on their own timeline. It’s sad and unfair but also true, and I have seen this happen in my real life with friends.

I feel a whole rant, or at least stream of consciousness, brewing about the ways in which people of childbearing age who wish to experience that are in just such a no-win situation, especially in the public eye. Voice that you want it and you may get labelled desperate or traditional or whatever. Voice that you don’t and you’re attacked as a threat to society or immature. It makes it so hard to have discussions (eg in relation to TTPD or Taylor’s discography at large) because it’s so fraught and involves all kinds of sociological constructs. And again: it’s something that isn’t given a second thought for men.

[nothorses]

hot take but I think the "we're only talking about people who identify as queer when we talk about the queer community" thing was and is one of the worst arguments in defense of the word.

I am talking about you when I say "the queer community", and "queer people", and "queer studies". I'm describing a thing that a large group of people have in common, and you share that thing in common. Your individual comfort with the word doesn't change the definition of it.

I'm sorry you don't like that word. You don't ever have to call yourself that, and you don't have to like it, and I won't ever call you that if you don't want me to.

What I am going to do, however, is decide what language I use based on A) how inclusive it is, and B) how well it communicates my point to the relevant audience.

"Inclusive" here is an important criteria; this refers to the number of people who should be included, that are included, ideally without some kind of weird hierarchy (like we see in "LGBT+" and variations). The technical definition is what we're talking about here- putting personal comfort aside, could the word "queer" describe you?

There will always be someone who doesn't like a particular word for themselves- even if it could apply. Lots of people don't like "LGBT+" (I don't really), even if it technically applies to them. You're not more important than they are.

You can identify one way on a personal level, and still understand that when we're discussing the larger community of people and the histories attached to it, you're included in that- even if you don't personally identify with the specific word we're using. Your story, your voice, and your presence matters.

Y'all need to learn to distinguish "broad term for an experience I share with others" from "personal identity label I use to describe my individual experience to others". ASAP.

[edwinisms]

i like to think, as a hc or a theory (because it’s definitely possible), that charles has had a few kisses throughout his high school years, sure, but past that he’s undeniably a virgin– well, kind of undeniably, because I think he’d deny it if found out by trying to use technicalities (“I mean that one time there was friction involved–“), but to any reasonable person, and by occult standards (see: edwin being a virgin sacrifice), he’s a virgin.

and i think this because it seems like him to fib about his level of experience (like he did when agreeing he’d sleep with crystal, matching her level of casualness about it) when in the presence of people who do, actually, have experience, in the hopes he doesn’t come off as lame or childish. given what we know about his “friends” when he was alive, they seem like the type to have teased or bullied boys– especially in their own circle– who haven’t gotten laid, or at the very least would’ve thought less of someone for it. and given what we know about charles, i don’t think he’d be nearly as sleazy and inconsiderate as his group when it comes to landing girls with the primary intention of adding to his body count. and considering he’s only supposed to be 16? and has never mentioned any significant relationships pre-death? it just seems unlikely.

all that to say– I can see him maintaining that facade of experience and confidence literally right up until the moment it matters, and in the heat of the moment getting nervous and embarrassed because “uhhh. so I may have been exaggerating some things.” though he’s not totally clueless either, I think it’d take a bit of a soft heart to heart moment for him to be reassured enough that he won’t fuck up and hurt his partner to go any further.

anyway not sure what the relevance of this is, but it’s something.

[fallloverfic]

Thinking about how people assuming Seth isn't into men is also a big reason why Osiris is an idiot, and Ra called Osiris out on that line of thinking in S02E78. In fact, she calls him, "Arrogant, foolish Osiris" (among other things) for this. Like that just happened in canon and I guess folks slept through that episode because people keep insisting he only loves Nephthys/is straight/can't like men.

Like people say "Seth isn't gay" and I think that's fair, but I don't think he's het, either. He doesn't evince interest in women generally. Osiris assumes Seth does because Osiris doesn't understand love. To him, Seth must be into goddesses solely because they can have babies.

Osiris does not comprehend that it isn't Nephthys' gender that attracts Seth to her: it is herself as a person. Osiris has no regard for that. He does not fathom Seth as a complex person with agency. To Osiris, "to love someone is to expect something from them." (S01E49). He catalogues people into capabilities: if I could provide the same things for Seth, Seth would love me. This disregards any relationship Seth might have with Osiris, Nephthys, or anyone else. He stole Seth's seed for who knows how many years. He removes Seth's agency in many ways.

This is a really common romance trope with the obsessive non-partner: "I'm better looking, I can provide more/the same, why do you love [love interest] and not me?"

Because the person they're pursuing has agency and love is complicated. This thinking ignores that. It treats people as goals to be reached or objects to be won.

Osiris sees no issue with this, despite his alleged wisdom, because "love" as he understands it, is "a selfish emotion that feeds on personal gain." (S01E49). Osiris is being selfish, and he'll do whatever he has to, destroy whoever and whatever he needs to, in order to achieve the object of his desire that is Seth. As Ra says, Osiris is "a rotting fruit" who "rot[s] those around" him. (S02E78).

So far as we can tell, Seth isn't in love with women generally. The only other woman to whom he potentially showed any sexual advances was maybe Isis? (Seth to Isis, "I had asked you to sleep with me." S01E39). But we don't actually know how he framed that offer/request when he tried to get her to join him in revenge, let alone if he actually wanted to sleep with her or just wanted to get revenge on Nephthys and/or Osiris, or if he just convinced himself that's what he was asking Isis to do and that's part of why Isis rejected him. We do know he's in love with Nephthys (S01E49). Or was in the past. Lately, he cares for Horus. I would argue he's demi-bisexual or demi-pansexual, but also isn't a person who's into labels. Not everyone is. Queerness is a spectrum.

Yes, he calls relations between male humans disgusting in a spur of the moment thought in S02E36, and that's sort of it. Seth generally thinks ill of humans, and he's not given to think kindly of Horus at the time, either. That's also not definitive. He changes (S02E70). He also would not be the first person in existence to internalize bigotry that would possibly target himself. Plenty of marginalized people are/act bigoted against their own people/themselves. At the time, Seth was also ill and trapped in a stronghold of people who hate him, safe on the kindness of humans. There are so many reasons that he might respond weirdly or not in a way that reflects his entire state of mind about his own wants. No one was asking him, "Are you gay?" or even "Would you date and/or fuck a guy if you had a chance?" Horus was carrying on a facade to fool Hanekate in a complex situation that Seth hated for many reasons, and Seth was understandably shocked.

I don't think he likes men generally. I think his body reacts to things (Osiris, Foreign God), as bodies tend to, which doesn't necessarily mean anything about his sexuality. But his being into Nephthys also kind of says nothing about his wants. He wants Nephthys. The person. Not a gender. His lack of being into a specific gender generally does not mean he solely likes women or cannot be into men or must be forced into it or something. He loves people on an individual level.

When he rejects Osiris, it's not because Osiris is male, but because Seth cares platonically for Osiris solely as a brother and monarch.

Osiris to Seth in S01E41: "What am I... ...to you? Am I just the king that rules over the land that you protect? Am I just your brother born from the same womb? What about besides that? Have you ever even thought of me as something more?"

Seth: "Why do you need to be more than that?"

Ra to Osiris in S02E78, "You think that Seth turns away from you because you are also a male god? And you think Seth desires female gods because of their power of creation? . . . If that is the conclusion you have come to, then it is proof that you are already breaking down."

It's all right there. It didn't need to be that overt because you can see it in the rest of the story, too, but the overtness is now there. Clear as day. Osiris' line of thinking about Seth's affections is wrong. And to imitate that is foolish.

It's Seth's deep love for individuals that allows him to open his heart to Horus (S02E70). Osiris and even Nephthys do not see Seth for who he is. Horus does. He refuses to forget. And that's why Seth cares for him, because it's Seth's deepest wish (S01E40-1).

In sum, assuming Seth loves Nephthys because she's a woman and this is the end-all statement about his sexuality/interests will get Ra to laugh at you just like she laughed at Osiris for assuming basically the same thing.

(Also assuming all protagonists and/or love interests in boys love stories have to be gay to have relationships with other men is really weird. Plenty of protagonists are bisexual, pansexual, undeclared, or questioning)

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[lollytea]

Tbh I think the Barbie movie handled its theme of existentialism better than the feminism.

[bookshelfmonkey]

Ok but imo (as a trans guy) the dress moment could also work very well as an ftm Gender Moment.

I feel like the basis of the dress moment being so significant (or even being included in the show, although god only knows what the creators meant it to show) isn't that he's* considering wearing a dress. We see many other crew members wearing dresses at the party, laughing with everyone else and generally having a good time, and it's never brought up again, because it's a costume worn to a party. To Fitzjames, it seems to be more than a costume, hence his reluctance, hence the significance of the scene.

The common transfemme angle (as I see it, correct me if I'm wrong) is that this represents a moment where Fitzjames confronts the fact that his desire to wear the dress runs deeper than a desire to dress up for a night. This is more than a costume, this is a significant, meaningful expression of a desire that he's hidden for years, a desire that he knows (has been taught) is shameful, and now he has the opportunity to show that part of himself and have no one bat an eye and he just can't do it because it feels too vulnerable.

The transmasc angle is more complicated, so I'm going to explain my own experience real quick. When I was younger, I had to wear dresses and I hated it, but it was what was expected of me, so I didn't feel like I had a choice. Refusing to wear dresses and presenting masc was an act of rebellion for me, a hard won victory. It was also, up until I medically transitioned relatively recently, the only way I could pass. So I have that background: the years of having to wear dresses, and many more years of being pressured to wear them even after I'd repeatedly expressed that I didn't want to. But, now, I am living as a queer man. A lot of the men I surround myself with are more androgynous/feminine than I am, and none of my friends would bat an eye if I wore a dress. I also pass pretty much 100% of the time, and if I went out in public in a dress, I'd just be seen as a man in a dress (which comes with its own issues, but I don't have time to get into that right now). So I could wear a dress, and not massively run the risk of no longer being seen as a man, something that means a lot to me because it took a lot to get to that point. But I still haven't worn a dress since I stopped when I was 7. Look, I've got some internalised shit going on, it's not necessarily healthy, but it does help mimic the kind of shit that would be going on in the mind of someone living in 18th century england. Wearing a dress would-- to put it simply-- make me dysphoric. Not because I see dresses as something only women wear, but because it would remind me of when I had to wear them, and because I'd feel like that would be all people would need to see through me to my past and start seeing me as a woman again. To bring it back to ftm Fitzjames, this could easily apply. He knows that the crew see him as a man, he knows that a cis man in his position could (as many do in the show) wear the dress as a costume, have a good time, and never experience any kind of consequences for it-- he knows that he could do that. But it's more complicated, because, although he knows that it'd be fine, wearing the dress feels too vulnerable, too familiar. It breaks down the performance of the perfect (cis) man that he tries to keep up at all times, and so he doesn't do it.

Or maybe I'm just projecting, idk.

* just gonna use he/him throughout the post for consistency

i don’t think we consider ftm fitzjames enough like yes of course we had the dress scene which was crazy but also have we considered a guy who is So Obsessed with living up to the victorian masculine ideal despite everything going against him from birth. and yet somehow he is able to rise above all of that until they’re stuck in the arctic where society has all but forgotten them. and he can only really accept that it’s okay not to be this perfect heroic guy when he becomes friends (lovers?) with another guy who has long stopped trying to be the perfect victorian man because him being irish and lower birth status means society will never accept him as such. and again i recognize the Gender Moment of the dress but from the ftm angle the whole fucking show is a Gender moment

[tyrianludaship]

i hope it's okay to say this here because i saw the post you made about heavymedic shippers but as a woman who selfships with them as a polycule it honestly hurts me alot when people say that women are not allowed to ship themselves with medic or heavy because they're gay and wouldn't like them back. these characters make me happy. why am i not allowed to find comfort in them? because it goes against your made up headcanons? i don't understand why people have such a superiority complex over something as up to interpretation as fictional characters' sexualities.

it's the misogyny.

[thebestusernamepossible]

Just saw someone say ‘white people shoudlnt make POC characters because they don’t understand them’ ??? Girl you became so progressive you circled back into racism

[cursed--alien]

It just occurred to me that I've actually never been catcalled, even when I had bahongaroos. I guess I have Ugly Privilege :3

[artanogon]

the fact that so many terf/"divine feminine" type people think kiki rockwell's music is the poster child of "female rage" while one of her most notorious lines is "if god created man for me / why am i not quite a she" and them + their best friend are both trans/enby is both hilarious and a little bit sad

[llycaons]

second fic ever written was xxc/xy. first fic ever written was *squints* what if wwx was an abused woman person escaping LP with his two kids (a-yuan and xue yang) because he wants a better life for them and lwj worked at...the battered persons home...