#because it will take so long and i need to make sh*t in 5 minutes

[clerk427]

Tags rant

no general theme i just want to yell about stuff

will delete later i think

Upd. I am doing better but won't delete it because archiving purposes and I like to reread stuff like that as diary entries and think "haha what a feeble minded fool i was"

[madame-fear]

Imagine jace and his young wife, both already married to each other for a while now and they've only just come of age. Then the young wife starts to show weird food cravings, finding the smell of certain foods repulsive, falling asleep at random hours of the day, etc. Rhaenyra immediately makes the connection that she's pregnant, immediately looks at Jacaerys Velaryon, flicks his ear and says 'Didnt i tell you that its too soon your pullout game is sh!t"😁😁😁 but shes actually happy for both and is only worried that theyre too young but knows theyre going to be great parents 💞

ABSOLUTELY. weak ass pullout game frfr

From the second you got betrothed and then officially wedded Jacaerys Velaryon, you both became extremely close to one another, and of course, you immediatly fell in love for each other. And as expected, after your wedding ceremony, you began sharing quarters together. Where, you know... Things most happen there, now that you have private time for yourselves, alone. *coughcoughCOUGHCOUGH👀👀*

Not too long after finally sharing chambers together, you suddenly began having strange reactions, needs, and attitudes. Some foods that you didn't mind eating or smelling previously — or you greatly liked them —, you suddenly found a huge distaste to them and felt disgusted to an extreme, continous vomiting, having abrupt mood swings, cravings for certain things you earlier in your life barely considered, being too sleepy and falling asleep anywhere, no matter the hour.

Rhaenyra, being a lovely mother of 5 beautiful boys, immediatly realised what your problem was one time after you made another mention of how you could barely tolerate the taste/smell of X food while being at dinner.

While you were distracted talking to someone else after said mention, Nyra was sitting by Jace's side, and of course, she turned to look at him, playfully took his ear as if she were 'sweetly caressing it' — actually was pinching and pulling it— and then leaned closer as to whisper to him.

“Jacaerys Velaryon. I thought we had talked about this. Isn't it too soon to father a child?” she whispered, clenching her teeth briefly at the end of her statement.

Poor Jace, he'll be nervously gulping and trying to act normal. But yeah, he kinda uhm, missed the part where he actually had to pull out. Got too carried away with the fervid moment of carnal love.

Anyways, you called a maester to check up on you; and indeed, you were with child.

Even if Rhaenyra is merely concerned because you are still young people that recently came to age, and she just wants you to have all the best safety in the world when it comes to pregnancies, our lovely girl Nyra is tremendously joyful to hear you are having a child together, and will soon be a grandma. She has zero doubts at all that you will be the best, and most caring parents ever.

Expect her to be by your side always. She will always recommend Jace how to treat you, how to show you love and support throughout your pregnancy, things to keep in mind, and of course, parenting tips. This not only goes for Jace, but for you as well. And she will be particularly attentive to you, taking the best of care for you, and helping you out with whatever you need: food cravings, warm baths to help you calm you down, names for the baby, preparations, etc.

And she is also the type of sweet mother-in-law to stick by your side before, during, and after the birth of your child BECAUSE THAT'S HOW PRECIOUSLY LOVING SHE ISSS 🥰🥰😭

And Jace? The best father ever. He will take his mother's wise advice about children very seriously, and will obviously use them on you. Taking care of you, giving you massages, tons of cuddlings and kisses, treating you even more softly, and offering you his hand and wholehearted support during the hard labour of the child.

Rhaenyra knows you'll be the best parents ever, and she's tremendously joyful to see you together so happy with your babe. Of course, she'll always be there to provide proper support and care <3

♡ taglist : ♡

@damatheirin @jacesvelaryons @tickle-euphoria @capellaadara @kyuupidwrites @tchatso @chompchompluke @cookielovesbook-akie

[shift-shaping]

where did your hips go

enaste finally reaches her clan.

rating: t

pairing: solavellan

previous fics | 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16

By the time Enaste finally saw the first wolf statues, she was starving. She should have arrived much earlier, but after an intense round of screaming slurs at her, one of her captives had started losing blood at an alarming rate and she'd needed to stop to heal him. And gag him. Turns out dragging two half-dead men on a couple of tired horses took much longer than she would have liked. She'd brought a few pieces of jerky with her, but it wasn't much and she'd eaten them hours ago.

The smell of fish cooking over a fire nearly sent her into a frenzy. Klein, the man she hadn't felt the need to gag, groaned hungrily. She saw the sails of her clan's aravels peeking up from the trees.

Moments later, three hunters emerged and ran to help her. The sight of them made her heart ache, but it was a happy ache, the kind of ache that comes from missing someone so much for so long. They greeted her, hugged her, told her how happy they were to see her. One of them started trying to catch her up on happenings in the clan, but was interrupted by Klein's groaning.

Only then did the hunters really take in Enaste's hostages. Cole had apparently disappeared again, leaving Enaste to look especially impressive with two captives and two horses behind her.

"Wow, no wonder you took so long to get here," said the youngest of the hunters, a freckled girl named Aridhel. "Are those the mercenaries we've been dealing with?"

Enaste nodded. Her voice rasped. "Some of them, yes. They have information, but they're in rough shape and need healing first."

More members of her clan came out of the trees to greet Enaste as the hunters led the horses into camp. A few of the children escaped their carer's hold and bolted to her, hugging her and yelling about recent events and asking her questions so quickly she couldn't respond. Enaste laughed and knelt down to their level, taking care to greet every one by name.

She knew them, by face and name and voice, because she had seen them before anyone else in this world; nearly every child in the clan, all but the very oldest and very youngest, Enaste had delivered herself. One particularly excited boy grabbed her hand and bounced up and down. "'Naste, 'Naste!" He said quickly, and she laughed as she turned to him.

"Yes, Inar? You're very impatient today."

"I'm four! I just had my name day!"

"That you did! You've gotten very big. How was it?"

He smiled at her compliment and slowed in his bouncing. "It was so fun! Lahalaan made crab cakes and sweet cheese on toast!"

Another child, a smaller girl named Nellasa, started to pull on Enaste's other hand. "Inaarr stop talking. 'Naste just got here!"

Enaste turned to the girl, smirking. "What? Didn't you like the crab cakes too, Nella?"

"I guess," she drew the word out and pulled Enaste's hand harder, unbalancing her and making her laugh. "But come on! You have to see what I made with Elder Shora!"

"You used too many colors!" Inar replied, annoyed at her interruption.

"Elder Shora said there's no such thing!"

Enaste felt footsteps behind her. "Children, please, let your First at least come into camp." She would recognize that voice anywhere --confident, steady, wizened with age but still deep and strong.

Enaste stood carefully, and turned to face her Keeper. Her breath caught in her chest. Keeper Deshanna was as beautiful as ever, her long white hair plaited into crisp, oiled braids decorated with trinkets and adorned with silver halla horns that graced her head like a crown.

"It is so good to see you, da'len."

Enaste bowed, eyes closed, momentarily too overwhelmed to speak. When she straightened, her Keeper pulled her into a warm, loving embrace. She smelled like the herbs they burned to keep away mosquitoes, and the campfires they lit for warmth at night, and the oils worked into her hair to keep the strands in place. She was shorter than Enaste by several inches, so Enaste had to be wary of the horns on her head.

They stepped apart, and Deshanna kept her hands on Enaste's arms. Her vallaslin was extensive and vibrant, kept fresh from a new application just two years before. It was a more advanced version of Enaste's own --where the mark of Mythal covered only Enaste's forehead, on her Keeper it extended across her cheeks and through her lips, cutting a long line towards her chest.

"You are thin," Deshanna observed, and Enaste laughed nervously. "You need some real food, none of that shemlin dogfeed. Come. We have fresh trout and oysters."

Enaste's mouth watered; she was momentarily so hungry she lost her train of thought, but still managed to thank her Keeper profusely.

Keeper Deshanna looked over Enaste's shoulder, towards the horses. She narrowed her eyes, then nodded slowly. "These are some of the mercenaries that have been harassing us, aren't they?"

Enaste sighed. "Yes. I encountered a group of them earlier and managed to take these two captive."

"Were you hurt?" Deshanna asked, and without hesitating, ignoring the pain in her throat and the aches in her back, Enaste shook her head.

"They were not expecting a mage."

"I see," Deshanna looked skeptical, but did not press the issue. She didn't need to know what happened. Enaste was fine, regardless, as long as she didn't think about it too much.

"Aridhel, Hauen, Eirie," Deshanna announced, and at her voice all three hunters stood at attention. "Get more help from the older hunters, and put the men in the storage tent on the north side of camp. Keep them tied down, but tell Elder Le'an to watch over them. Whatever information they have, we want it."

Enaste watched the three hunters hurriedly follow their new orders. The children started pulling on Enaste again, especially Nellasa, and Enaste picked her up instead of letting herself be dragged down the hill.

"Where are Hallin and Harea?" Enaste asked, careful not to step on a stray child as they walked down the slope into camp.

"Hallin is hunting, but Harea is around somewhere. I believe she is doing some leatherwork."

Enaste smirked. "She never does stop working."

Keeper Deshanna sighed. "I wish she would. She needs more rest." She looked at Enaste dryly. "Though I'm sure she would get more if your brother would stop fussing over her."

Enaste's smirk turned into a wider smile: she knew her brother, and that was very much in-character for him. "He won't leave her alone?"

"No!" Deshanna replied, exasperated. "I had to order him to leave for this hunt, and it took far more convincing than it should have."

"It's been so long," Enaste said. Nellasa had started playing with her scarf. Enaste gently took her hands away from it so she wouldn't pull it off, and the girl laid her head on Enaste's shoulder. "He's worried for her, and the child."

"I know. But if he keeps hovering around her he's not going to have a bonded or a child because Harea will have killed him."

The camp was set up long and narrow, so from this entrance they could only see a few tents, an aravel, and her clan mates buzzing around them. A woman named Miolvun, beating the dust out of a rug, froze as soon as she saw them and ran off. "Harea!" She yelled in the distance, and Enaste grinned.

Keeper Deshanna returned her smile and led her towards an aravel where hardered leather lay across the decks. A bag of tools and thread for embroidering said leather hung over the side. Miolvun barely had time to warn the heavily pregnant woman sitting against the aravel before she saw Enaste herself.

"Creators!" Harea yelled. "Oh, fenhedis--" Harea hissed before tossing whatever she was working on into the darkness of the aravel.  "Help me up," she ordered the other woman, who quickly gave Harea her arm.

Enaste gently put Nellasa down as her friend approached. Harea was a beautiful woman: her hair was the same shade of black that Enaste's was, but her skin was a darker, richer tan, and the blue in her vallaslin --meant to honor June-- made her brown eyes stand out even more than they would have otherwise.

"Oh, how could you leave me, you monster?" Harea asked, putting her hands on Enaste's face. She was tall, too, one of the tallest elves in the clan, and looked down slightly at Enaste. "In my time of need? It's like you don't even care."

Keeper Deshanna sighed. "She was kidnapped, da'len."

Harea shot her an annoyed look. "She could have escaped."

Enaste laughed and put her hand on Harea's wrist. "I did escape. I'm here now, aren't I?"

Harea pursed her lips. She suddenly squished Enaste's face, earning a surprised yelp. "You should have been here earlier. Your brother has been an absolute nuisance, and you're the only one he listens to."

"Abelas. I really did try," Enaste said through squished cheeks.

Harea let Enaste's face go and sighed. "It's fine. I know you were busy being... Some kind of shemlin goddess...?"

Enaste rolled her eyes. "I'll tell you later."

"Yes, you should eat first," Harea frowned, looking down at Enaste's body. "Where did your hips go?"

"Enough, da'len," Keeper Deshanna soothed. Before she could go on, a voice called out to Enaste.

"Maker's breath! There you are!" It was Jester, the agent Leliana had sent along to assist her. A human woman was just behind them, followed by Blackwall, and further behind, Solas. Her gaze lingered on him, warmth blooming in her chest just from seeing him. He smiled at her when he caught her eye, and she smiled back. It was embarrassing.

"And hey, what's up with your voice?" Harea asked, frowning. "You sound like you have a cold."

"Ah, well, I think I do," Enaste lied, and Harea started asking Deshanna about various remedies.

"Inquisitor," Jester said, their thick brows knit in concern. "We were so worried for you. What a relief to see you alright."

"What caused the delay?" Solas asked, and, frustratingly, she found herself excited by his voice. Had she missed him? It had been scarcely twelve hours.

She turned towards where the hunters had taken her captives. "I ran into a few of our mercenaries friends. Took two of them hostage, and two horses."

Solas's brows raised. "Impressive work." His praise made her heart skip. Then he frowned. "Are you feeling alright? Your voice sounds strange."

"That's what I said!" Harea exclaimed, crossing her arms. "You need elfroot, and honey."

"I need to eat, lethallan," Enaste said, finally speaking up for her aching stomach. She looked at her Keeper. "You said there was trout?"

Deshanna smiled, nodded, and looked to the gathered Inquisition representatives. "Your friends have already had some, but there should be plenty. Come, let us eat."

Soon she was sitting in the grass, eating grilled trout and mushrooms and oysters and herbs. Save for when Roshan cooked at Skyhold, it was the best thing she'd eaten in months. She ate so fast Harea teased her and told her to slow down, and her friend was right because she felt a little sick afterwards. But it hardly mattered. She lay back against a tree and closed her eyes and listened to the surreal intermingling voices of her family and new friends in the comfort of her clan's camp. She met Lady Guinevere Volant, who explained the situation in Wycome as she understood it, and Keeper Deshanna went over the situation with the bandits.

The plague the Keeper mentioned was, obviously, not in reference to the clan itself but the city of Wycome. Some disease was tearing through the upper quarters, killing humans but suspiciously --almost pointedly-- avoiding elves. When Enaste explained that the mercenaries had apparently been paid for by the Duke of Wycome, the full picture came into focus: something was killing the humans of Wycome, and the elves were being blamed for it. Despite obviously not being connected, Clan Lavellan was made a scapegoat. They were lucky the mercenaries were so incompetent.

"They may come here to try and avenge their comrades," Blackwall warned, and Enaste nodded.

"We'll be ready for them. We can speak with the hostages I took and get more information about what to expect, but after my encounter with them I don't think there are many left in fighting shape." She nodded to Deshanna. "We can handle what's left."

"Good," the Keeper said. She looked at Lady Volant, grey brows furrowed. "What of the elves in the alienage? If we are being harassed, I find it hard to imagine they are safe."

Lady Volant nodded slowly. "Tensions seem higher than usual. One of my informants in the alienage has expressed concern, and many of the elves are especially worried. I am uncertain of more than that, however." She looked to Enaste. "I had hoped we could introduce you to the Duke, that we might gain information that way, but if he's paying for these mercenaries to harass your clan, I doubt he'll tell you much."

Keeper Deshanna nodded. "But you could go, Lady Volant, and see if he will give you a tour of the city as a representative of the Inquisition. Then you would be able to assess the reality of this plague for yourself."

"Should you have protection?" Enaste asked.

"Not typically, though..."

Enaste looked to Blackwall, who nodded. "Blackwall can accompany you."

Keeper Deshanna hesitated. "Is it the norm for a tour of the city to require an armed guard?" She looked at Blackwall kindly. "With all due respect, having such a visible guard will raise suspicions. The Duke will know we do not trust him."

"None taken, my lady," Blackwall responded.

"Still, it is not a bad idea." She looked at Jester, who was silent thus far. "If we send one of our warriors or hunters the Duke will know we have some involvement. You are without vallaslin; if you accompany the ambassador as a servant, it will draw less attention."

Jester considered this, running their hand along their chin. "That might be fine. If we visit the alienage, however, they may recognize me. Some of the Duke's own servants may as well."

Enaste frowned, thinking. She cleared her throat and nodded to Solas. "You could accompany Lady Volant."

He smiled slightly, and no one objected immediately, so Enaste went on. "You wear no vallaslin, you are unknown to the alienage and the various elven servants, and should something go wrong, you can protect Lady Volant." She shrugged. "It's not a bad idea."

"They won't be able to tell you're a mage?" Blackwall asked, and Solas shook his head.

"Likely not. Even if they had a mage of their own, it is difficult to be certain."

"You don't hate the idea," Enaste observed. "You will be treated like a servant."

"I can pretend to be humble, for one afternoon," he joked, and Enaste snorted.

Keeper Deshanna nodded slowly. "This feels like the right compromise." She raised an eyebrow at Solas. "You are rather large for an elven servant, though."

"No one looks at elves that hard, Keeper," Harea replied, and the Keeper sighed her agreement.

"Tomorrow, then?" Enaste asked, and Lady Volant nodded.

"I will travel back to Wycome today, and send a messenger to inform the Duke that I will be taking him up on his offer of a tour. He will be disappointed in your absence, Inquisitor, but he should understand how much of diplomacy is done via proxy."

"Shall I go with you?" Solas asked, and Lady Volant nodded.

"I could send a messenger to the clan in the morning, but it would be easier if you simply stayed in Wycome."

That made perfect sense, and Enaste did not object. Still, for some reason knowing he would not get to spend the night with her people was disappointing. It was her own fault for volunteering him, and maybe it was for the best. She knew he was uncomfortable around the Dalish, even among her clan, and maybe introducing him to her people in small pieces would be easier.

Thus it was settled. Solas would go with Lady Volant back to Wycome that evening, and everyone else would remain in the camp. Lunch lingered a while longer, and Harea half-forced Enaste to drink honeyed tea for her throat despite how full she felt. Other clan members came and went, greeting Enaste and marveling at her entourage. Roshan ate with them for a while as well before he went off to nitpick something about the oysters.

As the sun drifted past midday, Keeper Deshanna instructed one of the hunters from earlier, Aridhel, to show the Inquisition where they'd be staying. The clan had set up several tents for them, modest in construction but outfitted with warm furs inside that would be plenty of cushion to sleep on. Enaste returned to the small, private section of the aravel she'd shared with Deshanna for the better part of the last ten years. It had been kept clean, and free of dust. Were she not burdened by the warmth in her hand and the pain in her throat, it would be easy to imagine she'd never really left.

<- prev fic | next fic ->

[kit-williams]

Imagine an Adeptus Custodes though. (Can be yandere or not. Maybe Space Marine Husbandry?) But, not just one, multiple. One for each set of an Adeptus Custodes.

A Shadowkeeper, Aquilan Shield, Dread Host, Solar Watch, and Emissaries Imperatus. Each one taking their turn to guard you for reasons you don’t even understand. They are just there. Came out of the blue.

The Shadowkeeper, seems to stick by the closest. Always patrolling the homes hallway’s, and room’s. Checking out even the smallest of things out within the home. Sometimes, just standing there, by the door’s like a guardian statue for—who knows how long?

The Aquilan Shield, were always following just a couple steps behind. Acting like an assigned knight or bodyguard of sorts. A very much bigger, and enhanced bodyguard. Can’t go sneaking off, and out of their sight now, can you? NEED TO PROTEC.

The Dread Host, is a challenging one. Doesn’t take sh*t from others. (None of them do, honestly.)You can feel their heated, piercing glare from underneath their helmet. Intimidating silence. A silent wrath perhaps? Have yet to see such proclaimed fury.

The Solar Watch, also patrols. Just in a bigger/wider area. Doesn’t keep to the house like the Shadowkeepers, but rather the whole territory/property. Keeping things out like that raccoon that gets in your trash, or even your pesky Ex that just doesn’t know when to stop. You’ll know something up with the area/land, but so would the Solar Watch. Will you be fast enough to see them?

The Emissaries Imperatus, also stays close within the house/area. Learning about you, reading your books. Trying to predict your next move, and keeps you rather close. At least at arm’s length. I suppose they like your presence?

And with all of them together? You’re the most, well protected human of the planet! Perhaps, even the most pampered one too.

If yandere? Well! I guess you’re not going anywhere anytime soon.

You're just really advocating for Yandere Custodes oh god I don't think I would subject a singular darling to 5 god like beings at the same time.

But if they had to do the 5 yanderes at once you better believe it would be a smack down of demi god like proportions. But that's the Yandere thoughts.

Okay we're going back to Yandere thoughts because these are all fine for just Space Marine Husbandry and how each would react.

I would like to think their darling is literally no one important just some Hiver or menial or a lowly imperial guard and then suddenly this demi god shows up to sweep them off their feet. But then you start to learn about their job.

The Aquilian Shield Yandere yeah if their darling is a guardswoman she would be so thankful practically throwing herself at him in joy after the battle's won but then it would be frighteningly lonely as he would scare anyone else off in the name of keeping her safe. A menial darling would be far easier to just pluck away simply just receiving anything from him would make her life so much easier and then his soothing voice offering honied promises and none of them are lies? The little menial doesn't show up to work the next day. She just simply vanishes with the golden godling.

The Dread host would be aggressive to everyone else but not his darling. Another whom a guardswoman would be happy for but would also be the most likely that once she gets close enough and is grabbed she's just gone. He is not above bullying his little darling into listening to him, she has to understand that he knows best he has slain terrors beyond her comprehension and her continuing to be here and not on Terra isn't helping... you do want to go to Terra don't you little one?

The Shadowkeeper... it would be hard but I see him finding a more menial darling who maybe found something she wasn't suppose to. They hoard technology from the Old Night... perhaps she found something pretty in some pile of scrap. Does she run? Does she freeze? It matters not when he comes breathing down her neck. Even if she hands it over he might croon down at her telling her that she has to come with him just to be sure that she wasn't tainted or perhaps she was able to coax some property out they weren't expecting. She's gone like a shadow at midday.

The Solar Watch don't really leave the Sol system but when they do its because someone who could be a threat to the Sol system is coming. A desperate guardswoman on a front and then these golden godlings come to wear down the tip of the spear to make it blunt for people like her to deal with. But no one notices when she is taken just assumed another causality and not having be lured away by honey in his voice coaxing her closer till she is just gone by the time the Custodes return to the Sol system.

The Emissaries Imperatus... his darling might be a young scribe in the imperial palace writing down his words from what he had heard from his meditations or perhaps she was some short lived champion that was told to simply unlock some door or wield some knowledge. Her use done and he knows that he might not hear the voice of his master again for some time... she smiles up at him feeling so very blessed to help out at least in some part... a part that will be forever nameless to time really. Either way whatever his darling is she, like the others, is drawn in and her name will live on beyond being just a short lived obituary or unknown mortal who helped unlocked a vault... she will live on as a name carved upon the heart of a demi god.

Bleeding I hope you are happy with what you've wrought

[cgarttrailsandtails]

It’s time to play,

Headcannons! (Sams, Laes, Eaps edition)

1. While Solar actually brews the coffee, Eclipse just straight up eats the beans when he needs/wants it

2. Nexus will sometimes go up to DSun for no reason and start talking about something he’s working on. DSun puts up with it begrudgingly

3. Sun has a bunch of photos in his camera roll that are just of his cats doing stupid sh*t

4. Dazzle sticks out her tongue at random occasions to make Jack laugh

5. Neptor vibrates when he’s scared, like just actually noticeably vibrates

6. Solar has been pulled to the kids’ room many times when he’s home because Jack wants to show him something or have him join in on whatever game the two are playing

7. Adding onto that, Jack makes little “machines” from DIY tutorials when he’s not doing anything else, and then shows his dad when he’s done. Through this hobby he’s made his own gumball machine (out of cardboard pieces), a mini catapult (out of popsicle sticks), and a little marble race game to play with Dazzle (out of cardboard, paper, lots of tape, a few stolen scrap pieces, and paint).

8. Earth likes to play dress up with Dazzle and Jack when she’s over to visit, and I can just imagine perfectly Jack going up to Solar in a frilly pink dress and with makeup covering his face and saying “Father, I am a pretty princess!”

9. Molten gets his wires caught on sharp edges sometimes, so he tries to keep away from them when he’s playing with the kids

10. (This one’s angsty sorry) When Solar gets frustrated, he’ll sometimes resort to hurting himself (banging his head, clawing at his plates, etc.) because it’s what his Moon did to him whenever he messed up or something just wasn’t working. He usually stops when someone comes over and stops him OR when he draws oil (blood). The second option only happens when no one else is around and after that bit, he usually realizes what he’s doing and stops, fixing it unless it’s somewhere he can’t see (like his faceplate) with his own eyes, in which case he’ll wrap it up to stop the leaking and continue working until someone else can help him fix it. Everyone knows he does this, and though Earth especially has tried to get him to stop it’s just a response he does from the trauma he’s got from his old universe’s Moon. (No changing it sadly-)

11. Whenever Lunar finishes a Nutella jar, he keeps them to use for precise target practice later

12. Puppet would take FC out somewhere every week for a mother son day, and now since they can’t leave the pizzaplex, she takes him to different attractions and plays games with him when she finds the time to

And that concludes this long ass game of headcannons, these all have been bugging me for like three days now. So, here ya go!

[icallhimjoey]

For your consideration, darling:

Anything with being in the rain with Joey.

Relaxing bathtub moment with Joey.

Dancing in the refrigerator light.

Y/n and Joe are bestfriend, but he secretly has a crush on you since forever, one day y/n's boyfriend impregnants her but he just running from responsibility. And then there is Joe motherfucking Quinn who offers himself to be the father of that child.

Any situation that's so James Bond-ish, ofc y/n as a Bond girl.

sending in 5 ideas so there's a bigger chance of an idea to wake itself up in the back of my head and claw its way to the forefront is a fantastic concept, i love it! i went with number 3! Wordcount: 1.4K

---

Sway With Me

It took maybe thirty seconds for it to register within him. Thirty seconds for Joe to suddenly feel the cold of the room he was in, to pull the duvet up closer, to swipe an arm across an empty mattress that left him confused, because, you'd only just been there, hadn't you? And you'd said something too, Joe knew it. Surely, he hadn't been dreaming, but, if that was the case, then where were you now?

It was still pitch black behind the curtains, not even close to early morning hours and Joe could feel the exhaustion in his bones. His dreams pulled at his consciousness, willing him back into bizarre landscapes where your face hovered somewhere amongst the stars, and you whispered something about pain. Was that what had happened? Had you gotten up because you were in pain?

Joe called out for you, but the strength his body had to muster up to get any sound out faltered, and the sounds escaping Joe were not much more than heavy breaths that articulated the plosives of your name.

Joe shivered, rolled himself up in the covers more, half his face hidden by its soft, quilted fabric and tried his best to drift back to sleep because that's all his body seemed to want from him. But then you took too long, and Joe's limbs were cold which turned into all his mind could focus on. Cold legs, cold arms, cold hands, cold heart. Joe understood it was more emotional than physical; the need to feel you under his touch, to have you in the bed beside him, to listen to your breathing, to feed off of your body heat. You'd always tell him he was like a furnace, but Joe knew it was only that way because you lit the fire that warmed him up from the inside out.

Giving you another minute, because maybe you were just in the bathroom, he opened one squinty eye to the emptiness of the room, blinking into focus to really confirm he was alone. His face crinkled into a puzzled frown as he pulled himself into a sitting position, his arms doing most of the work, his hands sinking into the mattress to push himself up. He stilled himself and focussed on noise, feeling the muscles around his ears tighten, and then he heard it. The faint sound of the refrigerator door rubbers as they pulled away from the cold metal as the door opened.

With a soft groan, Joe swung his legs over the edge of the bed and reached for a throw blanket down the bottom of it. Getting up, he flung the blanket around his shoulders in a bid to bring some of the warmth that was left in the bed with him to meet you in the kitchen. For all the actions that didn't need sight, Joe kept his eyes closed and only allowed himself small peeks through narrowed eyes to make sure he didn't run into doors or walls.

Upon your sight, Joe's shoulders relaxed on an exhale. There you were, illuminated by the blue refrigerator light, just as he predicted.

Still, upon Joe seeing you, you almost caught him off balance. You were wearing one of Joe's T-shirts, an extra old one he had pictures of himself wearing at 17, and he could feel his heart swell at the memory of your face any time you'd put it on. You'd always take a minute to inhale the fabric of the collar, swearing that no matter how many times it would be washed, Joe's scent would linger and you loved it. You could swim and would happily drown in all things Joe, and you had never hidden that from him.

Joe's T-shirt hung dishevelled off your weary figure as you stood with your back towards Joe, your messy hair all tangled up from losing your scrunchie in your sleep. As he carried heavy footsteps towards you with painful hips that took a minute to adjust to moving his body around, he heard you twist a lid back onto a jar and place it back onto one of the glass shelves.

“You sneaking olives again?” he croaked, voice sounding so fatigued, it almost rang painful.

Before you could answer, Joe’s body curled around yours, his chest firmly pressed against your back, knees finding the backs of yours and his chin placed heavily onto your shoulder. He effectively hid you inside his throw blanket, capturing you in there with him. You grinned at being caught, hand still on the small glass jar, taking it back out to open it again because Joe definitely wanted a few, you knew. Judging by the humming that sounded loud in your ear, you were right.

"Did I wake you?" you whispered as you hand fed Joe a pimiento stuffed olive over your shoulder. "I was very quiet." you smiled, your eyes puffy with sleep still.

"You were keeping me warm," Joe tightened his grip on you when a squinty eye noticed the painkillers and glass of water on the counter next to him before opening his mouth for another little snack. You fished another from the jar, reaching in deep, and when your fingers held it out for him, Joe enclosed his lips around their tips, suckling the brine off them. Joe was cute, and to let him know you thought so, you pushed your temple against whatever part of his head it could reach, making Joe hum in response.

You went through the motions of closing the jar and placing it back into the fridge once again, but before you reached to close the door, you felt Joe move. Slowly swaying from left to right, mostly in his upper body, and it pulled you along with him. You turned your head to catch as much of his face you could, but only managed to see that Joe's eyes were still closed. You turned further and fully twisted in his arms, prompting Joe to let go of you only for a second, holding out his arms and in turn the blanket that he was still holding onto. You snuck your arms around his waist and pressed your cheek into his chest and let Joe hug you back into his blanket, the fleece fabric now almost entirely engulfing you.

"How many painkillers did you take?" Joe barely even whispered, and continued his swaying motions which, in the states you were in, felt hypnotizing, like you were in a trance.

"Two," you spoke into the fabric of Joe's T-shirt, and it was so soft and muffled, you thought Joe couldn't possibly have heard it.

"Head?" but Joe had heard it, and you gave a tiny nod.

For a minute, you stood there, swaying in front of an open kitchen door, your face hidden from it's bright light with no real reason to be there still. Maybe it was the sleep in both your bodies that just focused on the sweet tenderness of the moment instead of the rational thoughts that murmured for you to make your way back to bed and back to sleep. With every back and forth, you feared it'd be the last one, because at this point, Joe was holding you up as much as he was holding you pressed up against him, and it was the safest little cocoon that could make you cry if you thought about it too long.

"Come on," Joe broke the silence, and you felt the cold air of the room reach your back when Joe used an arm to close the refrigerator, leaving you in a darkness your eyes had to get used to again. You took another turn in Joe's arms and let him guide you back to your bedroom, and you realised the painkillers had kicked in already. The headache that had awoken you felt far away from you, and curling back up in bed with Joe felt heavenly.

You'd been sensible and had laid down on your side of the bed on your side, ready to drift off to sleep again, entirely unsure of how much more time the night held for you. But Joe didn't like your sensibility and reached for your arms to pull you over to his side of the bed, making you scoot into him as he did the same.

Arms tangled, legs braided and torso's pressed together, you melted into one. You pressed a soft kiss into the part of Joe in front of your face, your lips landing in between his collarbones. Joe shifted a little, and you felt him kiss you back, pressing plush soft lips on your forehead near your hairline before sleep overtook you all together.

-----

The Taglisted: 

@ghostinthebackofyourhead @kiwisa @jasminearondottir @josephquinned @cancankiki @sidthedollface2 @dylanmunson @munsonsgirl71 @alana4610 @emmamooney @xomunson @sadbitchfangirl @thatonefan-girl @paola-carter @eddiemunsonfuxks @figmentofquinn @haylaansmi @thewondernanazombie @hellowhatthehellisgoingonhere @munsonmunster @kellysimagines @dirtyeddietini @mybffjoe @harrys-tittie @chaoticgood-munson @harringtonfan4 @sherrylyn628 @bdpst-massacre @xeddiesbattattsx @05secondsofsexgods @lovelyblueness @adoreyouusugar @nadixq @prozacandnicotine @munsonswhore86 @alwayslindie @thefemininemystiquee @hauntingbastille @eddie-joe-munson @ali-in-w0nderland - add yourself

[hairybirthdayclown]

placements with issues in romantic relationships part i.

*(analysis based on my friends & acquaintances)

VENUS SQUARE URANUS - do you get emotionally smothered just by thinking of being in a relationship? it's not that these natives don't want to have deep connections, they want to feel some sort of personal growth within it, regardless of any sort of labels. avoidant attachment style is what i'm getting with this placement with commitment issues. a lot of the people i've sat down with rarely date/don't want to/lack commitment in their relationships.

why don't you date? (i asked these people to refrain from mentioning any external factors that hinder them from relationships & look inwards...they still said them lol. also, i spruced up what they said just for y'all to understand better because these were said to me in a different language with A LOT more profanity)

"there are many reasons. but i think one that correlates to what you're researching is that my feelings are unpredictable. like i mentioned to you, if you remember - sometimes i wake up & feel nothing towards the people i love. i'm scared that will happen too in a romantic relationship"

- friend 1 (at 8° orb)

"i cannot stand when someone i'm with makes decisions for me & starts referring to us as 'we'. no h*e, i'm me, you're you & we're together but not together. do you understand? i'm not a 'together' person, have fun with me for as long as we can tolerate eachother for & f*ck off" (yeesh)

- acquaintance 1 (at 6° orb)

"i really don't understand this generation. a lot of conflict would be resolved if everyone was honest with what they want. i don't date because i prefer being alone. i actually love it. i don't even know if i want to get married. i used to be the 'date to marry' type (when she was literally 14 lmaoooo) but now i just want to have fun with my friends. i'm not actively pursuing anyone & i'm happy. period"

- friend 2 (at 1° orb)

"b*tch i don't even bother telling my crushes that i like them. i know i'm not even gonna attempt to date them if they like me back HAHA. wayyyy too immature for all that"

- friend 3 (at 8° orb)

"everyone is so focused on romance it's actually disturbing at this point. the people who can't breathe without being in a romantic relationship make me sick. i don't date because i don't like being told what to do. 'oH yOu shoULd'nT tAKE yoUr fri3nD oUt tO dinn3er' or 'yOu shOudLd'Nt huG hiM' , there's just so many unnecessary rules. it's alarming how people care that much about stupid sh*t like that. & turning on my location for you? die"

- acquaintance 2 (at 5° orb)

not all of these natives are single or prefer to be. these people that i analysed have entered relationships at some point but i've seen them end up hiding from/avoiding their partners in the long run. one of my friends literally had to help a friend of ours to break up with their partner because they couldn't bear to even talk to them & felt "suffocated". i think that's why these natives are comfortable with long distance relationships because there's some sort of barrier that prevents them from becoming too close to their partner. these people also love excitement so the thrill & anticipation of meeting up with their person gets them estatic. but as friend 1 said, their feelings are up & down in connections. @elysiansparadise explains this furthermore here.

do you need help? (keep in mind i'm an 18 y.o with little-to-no relationship experience)

relationships aren't always perfect but if you're fully aware of your inconsistency, avoidant attachment style & flaky behaviour, you should at least try to do something about it & have compassion towards those you're involved with. what i've noticed about the people that i analysed, 3/5 deflected from themselves & put the blame on their surroundings as justification. i'm not so sure about other people with this aspect but please look at other possibilities of why you approach relationships in this manner. you could be attracted to another gender, asexual, value platonic love more than romantic love or you have some sort of trauma that's holding you back from pursuing a relationship that needs to be healed.

i suggest identifying if you're emotionally available for any sort of connection & noticing emotional unavailability in others. venus□uranus natives are also prone to being attracted to losers who are emotionally stunted & can't even cater for their own feelings - in which they prefer because they like barriers that keep them from being too close to someone (either physical or emotional distance is their drug). the perfect tiktok video came up on my fyp about emotional availability. being emotionally available & being with someone who's the same is necessary for sustaining a healthy emotional relationship.

do not be rash with the way you feel at the moment. all feelings are temporary & feelings of insignificance should be discussed with your partner open & honest. but if you feel as though your partner is making YOU feel insignificant while denying it, leave. this aspect is not just felt internally so your relationship could have moments of apathy & feels fake as opposed to spontaneity from both parties. also, being mindful about how others make you feel before pursuing them. instead of finding clues on whether they like you, ask yourself if you like them.

take things a bit slow & cherish the moments you have in your connections. remind yourself to be grateful that someone gave you a place to uniquely express your love & theirs to you. & if you feel bored sometimes, incorporate some excitement into your relationship. don't just think about yourself, include your partner in all sorts of fun.

do other harsh Venus-Uranus aspects feel the same or have similar expriences? (another analysis based on someone in my life)

i asked...

so, do your relationships with your friends even romantic relationships abruptly change? or u feel some sort of inconsistency with the way people show their love to you? like, your partner could be head over heals in love then all of a sudden they act like they hate you?

"yes haha. but when you say change what do you mean? like what sort of change? & it kind of fluctuates here & there"

change like sudden break up from your side or theirs. maybe even the way you feel about them.

"omg yeah"

-acquaintance 3 (opposition at 10° orb)

well, i ran out of people & time. i really don't know if harmonious aspects (trine, sextile) have relationship issues but if you have any other aspect between these 2 planets that i haven't mentioned feel free to comment about it. also, other factors can hinder the effect of this aspect so check other aspects.

next post on this topic: lilith prominance in woman. i only have 2 friends with lilith prominance so if you have this, tell me your experiences with men & women in your life & how navigate your difficulties dating. feel free to hit me up on somewhere...i don't know how this app works.

thank you for reading :)

[loustat-0]

While I admit I am biased because I love Loustat and Daniel/Armand first and foremost, I am trying not to be negative towards Loumand (which I don't like very much in the books) and appreciate its role in the story, but the Loumand shippers (the ones that have popped up since S1 anyway) are making it difficult and I find them exhausting. I feel like so much of the extreme Lestat hate and takes like Daniel is too old to be a love interest or become a vampire seem to be coming from that corner along with other things. I also can't believe they actually like book Armand considering the way they feel about Lestat. I can't believe they would like any of the characters to be honest.

Hi anon . First of all I need to say I'm not a TVC expert I watched the show first & then read some of the books selectively 😅so I hope what I answer makes sense . 💜

Okay so all of the book readers already know that all of the vampires are horrible in their own ways & that's because most of them have a horrible past both as a human & vampire . That of course doesn't justify what they later but that clarifies why they're acting the way they do .

And I think from Ep 5 it is right to hate Lestat but I don't understand the hate towards old Daniel he literally didn't do anything to Louis or Rashid / Armand except to get something true out of their stories like a real journalist . And I need to mention here that I myself am a Armandaniel & loustat shipper first & in heart just like you . 🥰 The hate on Old Daniel is not justifiable for the show viewers bc I myself can't find a reason to hate him YET😐

And as for people should hate Armand or Loumand as much as they hated Lestat & loustat , I think that can't be decided by the show viewers only 🤷🏻‍♀️ cause they haven't seen any bad side of Armand towards Louis , they haven't seen their relationship in Paris or after Paris . And they hope Louis & Claudia are finally free of their abuser. So I give them the right to want that because they have no idea & it's a journey for them & new discoveries for them . And not just about Loumand about loustat too because Louis canonly considered loving Lestat more in the second half of the book so if the show runners know what they're doing & consider to take a darker path as JACOB said in an interview then we will definitely see Loumand to the extent & also loustat to the extent. 😊

And for those people who know about Loumand & Armand of the books & still love & adore them together I think that is also fine BUT AS LONG AS THEY DON'T HATE LOUSTAT FOR THE SAME REASONS 🙄 . If they hate Lestat for the manipulation & lies & withholding information then they must hate Armand or Loumand for the same reasons . 😉 Or even Claudia Otherwise their reasons for hating Lestat & loustat isn't justifiable to me . 🤷🏻‍♀️

And I want to add I don't hate Armand I didn't like Loumand though . I love Armand & Daniel their relationship makes more sense to me than Loumand . Although I have to add Loumand as great friends in later books makes so much more sense. I think Louis & Armand can calmly talk together & talk sh*t behind Lestat's back all they want .😂 I think they need each other simply because the way we all need someone in our life when we're tired of our relationship & our family & sometimes ourselves . Armand is probably Louis's escape from anything intense & Louis is probably Armand's scale of what he does as much as Lestat hates that Armand accepts that from Louis I guess . 🙂

Over all I think we should respect each other's favorite ships without judgement towards the person who ships other ships . And I think Loumand was & is the necessity of the story individually or as I myself think Loumand is a means to loustat . So if you're worried about how S2 might not be your favorite season because of Loumand then I can offer you to just enjoy the ride because you'll find something else interesting to like about season 2 . But as a respect for the actors & to the hard work they did I will definitely support S2 because they all worked really hard & I think that wouldn't be really nice to them to stop watching S2 because I don't like Loumand in the book . Who knows I might come to like it on the show . 🤩

Let the tale seduce you . 😉❤️

[junemermaid]

writer interview

I was tagged by @vaynglories, @lynne-monstr and @la-muerta all at one point or another. Thank you all kindly, sorry it took me so long! 💗

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

120 unique works. I have two double entries from when the old Yuletide archive was imported to AO3, so the total on my author page is 122. It's missing any fic I wrote before 2005 but honestly I'm fine with those being lost in the mists of the internet. If you know, you know.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

1,004,161.

I didn't actually wait to do this meme until I passed the one million words mark, but I also kinda did.

3. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

bodies full of untold stories (malec, E, Shadowhunters) / 1,343

an act of faith against the night (malec, T, Shadowhunters) / 1,037

House of Ash and Salt (dorian x bull, M, DA:I) / 995

Walkers of the Winding Path (malec, E, Shadowhunters) / 933

Talking With Strangers (malec, E, Shadowhunters) / 930

4. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I used to and it's my one continuing regret that I haven't been able to catch up with my inbox! The greatest reason why I currently seldom reply to comments is that I have such a backlog. The other reason is that I will either answer comments or write more fic, and I'm sure everyone rather that I do the latter. Still, I miss the conversation around fic that replying to comments often generated.

I mean: I need more writing friends and goddamn, please talk to me because I feel detached from fandom and it's the worst thing.

5. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Probably to make the saints attend them long (malec, T, SH) which ends with extremely heavily implied MCD.

I tend to write hopeful to bittersweet endings, so this was a rarity for me.

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

Define happy ending? I do have one, all souls sheltered, (dorian x bull, T, DA:I) which IS the soft epilogue I wanted those two characters to have after all their toils and troubles.

These two questions mostly tell me that most of my endings don't fit well on the happy to sad scale. I tend to leave characters at points where they can look forward to the future and any acute crises are over, but I really wish "happy for now" or "a happy middle" would stick as ending descriptions because that's where I live.

7. Do you write crossovers?

I write fusions? Not traditional crossovers but I have a very niche fic thing where I take Alec and Magnus and stick them into the worlds of videogames I love. To wit, the Witcher (Walkers of the Winding Path) and Final Fantasy X (Servant of the Spiral).

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Yep. Didn't much care for it.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I do! I've written my share of PWP but more typically the process goes something like this:

I find a kink/trope/sex situation I want to try writing

the fic grows copious amounts of plot/worldbuilding/interpersonal drama (exhibit A: the tentacle porn that came with 3,000 words of, uh, creature logistics so I could have tentacles)

I spend two years working on bullet point two before the characters ever get naked in each other's company

My smut fic tends to the tender/longing/emotional, though. I use sex mostly as a vehicle for character exploration or to drive the drama of a story, so most of my sex scenes pull double duty to also move the overall story forward.

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge. I'm a pretty niche writer in most of my fandoms, I don't think you would make either much fandom fame or big bucks with my writing.

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! to make the saints attend them long is translated into Italian.

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No. I'm a slow writer and I have to hew out writing time from the bedrock of my RL, so it wouldn't be very conducive to sharing a creative project, even though the basic idea appeals to me.

13. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

I was gonna make a joke about being asked to rate my children, but tbh I would rather not refer to fictional characters by any family term. However! I have changing obsessions and there's always some ship or canon that is eating up my brain at any given time, but I don't really get over ships. The details of canons fade with time but characters live forever in my heart.

Back in the mists of time, Ichigo and Rukia changed who I was as a person. (Then I added in Renji and It Got Better.) I adore Alec and Magnus but the fandom was categorically A Lot. Same with Dorian and Bull. Josephine and Cassandra were a total crack ship in the sense that there's no canon but I still love the idea of an f/f lady/champion pairing.

And right now I have two competing wuxia ot3s vying from my attention so. This is not a question I can answer.

14. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

My general fic writing philosophy is "whatever you can, whenever you can". I've made my peace with the fact that sometimes I'll start a thing and post a bit and then it simply won't get finished. Fic is free and no one has to click on a WIP (much as I love those people who will!)

So, unfortunately there's a few old WIPs on my ao3 that I don't think will ever get wrapped. The older the fic, the less likely it is. I keep them up as testament to the process, I suppose, or in case anyone likes the idea enough to read whatever I managed of it.

15. What are your writing strengths?

Putting canon under a lens until I have a mental Wall of Crazy with ten thousand interconnecting red strings and obscure notes, and then wringing story out of elements in the text that might not seem to connect on the surface.

I know sometimes you have to just wholesale go "this makes zero sense" and drop a bit of canon, but what I enjoy is taking bits and pieces and adapting them to fic. My current project is writing all the Mu Nihuang POV she really kind of doesn't get in Nirvana in Fire itself, and I am having a blast.

Also: character voice, action scenes, evocative description, setting up an emotional punch and taking you out with it 2,000 words later

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

I'm slow, picky, and obsessive. I have to be In A Mood before I can put words to paper (I'm trying to combat this by becoming more of a garbage goblin about my first drafts. All words are good words! Hissss!) I'm bad at humour unless I'm accidentally funny.

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

It can be used to good effect but it's best used sparingly. I would generally always prefer that plot-relevant or important dialogue were simply, "This is the murder weapon," she said in French. Don't withhold information or emotional impact for the sake of showing off.

And oh god, never, ever put dialogue through MTL and expect it to come out right. If you absolutely need dialogue in a foreign language, consult an actual person that speaks it.

18. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Very technically, ElfQuest. For actual published fic, Rurouni Kenshin.

19. What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet but want to?

Mysterious Lotus Casebook tickles my brain but I don't yet quite know what I want to write about! I have enough trouble herding the rowdy cats that are my NiF ideas right now.

20. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

Always the one I'm working on. So much of the joy of fic is bound up in the good creative rush of making it happen. Just as so much of the woe of fic is in the fucking toil of making it happen.

Anyway! Flowers in Dreamland Weather (jingsuhuang, E, Nirvana in Fire) got me out of a slump and gave me new characters and relationships to rotate in my head, and I love it for that.

Talking With Strangers (malec, E, Shadowhunters) actually got finished in a satisfying way, and I love it for that.

Maybe those are my current answers.

-

I will no-pressure tag — @theotherjax, @electricshoebox, @faejilly, @sinni-ok-sessi, @ladymatt, and anyone that still wants to do this! I've seen this doing the rounds, so if you haven't yet, please feel free to blame me for enabling you!

[nyansequitur]

Finished crafting my long-term build plan, besides skill books. Honestly don't know where to go from here. Probably giving each operator a module? In any case, more detailed info about what exactly I farmed below the cut. CN spoilers, photos, and a lot of talking below.

I suppose let's start with the goal.

Module 1/2/3: J/essicat Alter, L/iskarm

E1/E2/SL7: C/ivlight Eterna, A/sh, E/la

S1M1/M2/M3: P/allas, V/igil, M/izuki, C/ement

S2M1/M2/M3: S/hining, I/nsider, C/ivlight Eterna, A/miya (Medic), A/sh, H/oshiguma, S/hamare, F/iametta, I/frit, C/eobe, S/ilence Alter, S/wire Alter, A/miya (Guard), C/eylon, P/roviso, I/nes, S/iege, S/kadi, B/laze, B/lemishine, M/udrock

S3M1/M2/M3 T/horns, S/hu, S/hining, F/artooth, E/xecutor Alter, M/agallan, C/arnelian, D/egenbrecher, L/ee, S/uzuran, N/earlter, M/lynar, V/iviana, L/essing, V/irtuosa, H/oederer, E/la, B/agpipe, P/ozemka, R/osa, E/yja, P/assenger, H/o'olheyak, L/in, K/al'tsit, N/ightingale, L/umen, S/tainless, A/ak, G/ladiia, D/orothy, A/miya (Caster), S/aga, F/lametail, M/uelsyse, S/urtr, Q/iubai, C/hongyue, H/orn, E/unectes, E/xusiai, C/h'en

broke up names so I (hopefully) don't appear when searching for any operator ever lol

Before I start mastering skills, this is the stage of my depot.

Which should hopefully put into context why I have no base morale at the moment

Why didn't I start crafting earlier? Because I didn't know when I was going to be hitting the finishing point and didn't want to overcraft expensive materials that I would be getting as gameplay rewards. (Pick your poison really, if you start crafting early you can make good use of byproducts but poor use of event mats, and vice versa.)

The krooster planner I used looks like this

If I reset the stock to zero, penguin stats estimates it @ 277.5k sanity, although it doesn't account for event rewards or farming rate ups, so the real number is significantly less. It also doesn't calculate chips/skill books however, so forces going both ways on the estimate.

Upper number is how many I need, lower number is how many I have. Ignore the green book count, that's how many green books I would need if I got no more blue ones.

Blue books are what I'm farming at the moment, and the chips will be farmed once the CN operators are closer to release. I think (I hope) natural sanity and events will be enough given my backlog, but only time will tell. I don't want to do more sanity math please.

This took me, uh. About since my last build plan was completed at the end of February, so. Just over five months-ish? Unfortunately there is no satisfying payoff like the last build plan

due to masteries taking forever to complete. Near all earned OP since then was converted into sanity refreshes minus some skins. Don't have a good estimate on how much OP I bought for sanity at the moment, but it did definitely happen.

Why did I do this? A desire for maximum sanity efficiency, at first, although mostly it was a goal I set for myself about not leaving built ops or 6*s behind. (This can also be observed in how I level my operators, besides the CC12 crew, fwiplord exam crew, and some early game ops/favorites, most of my e2s are between levels 35 and 45 because I level the weakest e2 first.)

Anyways, I like having a goal to work towards in regards to building ops that can remain constant for months. Watching as the Penguin Stats sanity estimate slowly crept down (or went up when I pulled a new 6*.)

I might do a smaller build queue of 4-5* operators actually. If you made it this far, send me unbuilt ops you consider 'bad' or never see usage of (or just like) I guess.

[cutie-keebs]

2023 End of year keyboard review

Hi yalls!

So we're approaching the end of the year. Since then, more keyboards have entered the market and I've managed to build some of them. At the same time, group buy orders managed to arrive. I'm so happy that I've been able to expand my collection with these items.

Honourable mentions

Due to how expensive the keyboard hobby is, I couldn't grab everything that was released this year. At the same time, I had to sell some of the keebs that I used to own due to a variety of reasons.

For starters, the QK and Jris series have been super amazing for opening doors for high-quality budget options in the market. I own the QK75 and remade my first keyboard build and I swear to god the improvement is immaculate.

Next is Mode Designs. They have released a bunch of high-quality boards and boy howdy, I wish I could own them all. The Envoy was well-loved in the community and the release of the Loop is so cute. I wish I could grab my hands on it, but I'm satisfied with my Sonnet, which is still available to this day and now has new colour options.

Lastly, it's the established keyboard companies like Asus and Razer as they've released some hotswap keyboards. The one that caught my eye the most is the Azoth. I would trade in my old Corsaid K70 for that keyboard. If anyone is willing to do so, hit me up.

Now, here are my top 5 boards.

5. The Dreamscape build

We all know how I've felt about this build. It took 2 years and it's finally here. I love this build for the soft aesthetic and I'm so glad I can finally use this keyboard. It's such a shame it took so long because there were times I was losing hope and was considering giving it a different build.

Specs:

Ikki Aurora x EPBT Dreamscape

EPBT Dreamscape

Gazzew Bobagums

Artisans from Namong and From Scratch

As for the use and feel, it's nice. A bit mushy cuz of the switches. But at least no one will get mad at me when I type during meetings because apparently, they can pick up my typing sounds. Its the ultimate dream silent keyboard.

I'm just happy this build is finally complete cuz omg, imagine if this went on to 2024. I would lose my sh*t.

4. Rama Thermal

Getting used to the HHKB layout has been a challenge. Fortunately, I ended up getting used to it after a few months. I do miss my arrow keys but using function + WASD was a good alternative. I will admit that my productivity at work did slow down during the first few weeks.

Specs:

Thermal by RamaWorks

Osume Winterglow Eve

Clackbits

Artisans from Tulipclay

While Rama might have some controversies, it's actually a really nice board. Has a really unique look it, something that I'm after when I buy keyboards. However, after comparing it to other builds, it's not really great. The sound quality feels hollow (despite tape modding it), and the keycaps and switches sound output doesn't help at all so I ended up rebuilding it.

Right now, as of writing, I'm using temporary parts for a later build and it's going to take a while for me to find the right combo. I will update you once I made something worth showcasing a sound test. I am interested in trying out the Akko Penguin Silent Switches so hopefully a muted build is what this build needs.

If there is something I learned from this keyboard - DON'T BUY FROM RAMAWORKS.

3. The Nordic Build

The boards may look good but their reputation sunk so bad. I had to file a bank complaint just so they could reply and get this board shipped (mind you, it was a in-stock item).

Originally, the keyboard that I wanted to use was the Loki65. But thanks to Mechs and Co, that was heavily delayed. I've always had eyes on the Fuji keyboard series since I started this hobby in 2021. So thanks to the Keebs For All Marketplace, someone was selling theirs for a good price and I got it.

Specs:

Fuji 65

EPBT Scandi

Hera Switches

Artisan from EzKeys

Aesthetics-wise, it looks pretty good. All the colours complement each other and I'm quite happy. The reason I wanted to make this build is that my favourite country is Iceland and I wanted to build a keyboard inspired by my trip there in 2019. The only flaw with this build is that the switches sound scratchy. But that's because I didn't lube them. Could be fixed if I do that.

I look forward to the day when the Loki65 gets shipped as I think my thoughts will change when it arrives.

2. The Tofu Build

Believe it or not, this was the first keyboard I built this year and I'm quite happy with how it turned out. The reason why built this keyboard is because I was inspired by Magic The Gathering - Kamigawa Neon Dynasty and this build resembles that trading card set.

Specs:

Tofu 60 (the original)

PBT Fans Kabuki-Cho

Tecsee Ruby Switches

This keyboard is THOCKY. It's not as thocky compared to modern builds but it has that low-profile sound that was highly sought after during the pandemic. I can see why this was a beloved build back in the early days of the keyboard hobby.

While the Tofu has increased in price over the years, I believe it's a testament to how the hobby has changed. I'm glad to have a piece of keyboard history in my collection.

1. The Sonnet Build

This has to be my newest go-to keyboard. From the looks, sound, and aesthetics, it was worth it. It took a while for me to figure out which keycaps to use since it originally had Osume Dusk. I think the greys from the Hooties are much better.

Specs:

Sonnet from Mode Designs

GMK Hooty

Popu Linears

Artisans from Hibi.MX and Geekkey

Using this board has that 5/5 experience. The sound is so satisfying, the feel is really nice. The artisans complement the board so well. And the fact that the Sonnet is a really good quality keyboard adds extra points. I highly recommend getting the Sonnet when you have the chance to do so.

[crimson-lair]

HEYY HELLO, I COME WITH FULL ON IDEAS (that are slightly for fluff and affection only.. but I'll try not to disappoint ! Long post ahead though.. I couldn't help but type out my ideas !)

I was thinking of maybe jealous bots of ptn women, how would they act if they see y/n or user be so close with other people? Here are my ideas:

Rahu - Need I say moreee? Rahu is maybe really stoic and the type to not get jealous quite easily, but I think she'd be the type to get jealous if someone starts to take her duties away from y/n, like, the person starts to somewhat be too close to the user to the point where Rahu can't even approach y/n or fulfill her duties to keep y/n protected.. since the person is replacing her and is creating a distance between her and y/n. Rahu might deal with this in a way where she'd start to act touchy whenever it's only her and y/n or she'd outright find ways to find excuses to get y/n away from that person! She finds it difficult to approach y/n about it since she's quite shy and she doesn't know how to talk about it..

Shalom - MMMMM, Shalom shalom shalom, y'all probably would know where this is going.. once the most calm and reserved type starts to get jealous that's a big uh oh! I think Shalom would be jealous because of how a person starts to display a sense of superiority or closeness over y/n, as in the person keeps on winning y/n over Shalom in certain things, like going to missions, instead of Shalom going with y/n, someone else slipped in, orrrr when a person starts to be so touchy to the point where Shalom can't even do any small amount of physical gestures to y/n. Shalom might deal with this in a rather straightforward way, since she's the type of woman to become blunt whenever necessary especially when it comes to y/n, but sometimes, Shalom can really be condescending especially when she becomes way too jealous, she might show the person just how y/n is really close with her, or the fact that the person would have no chance to get to y/n because of how competitive Shalom is (e.g. Shalom will compete with the person through missions, quality time with y/n, etc)

Zoya - Here's our favorite, going once, going twice, maybe more than twice.. no, 5 times, 5 bots of her 😭. A jealous Zoya, will be a much bigger uh oh than Shalom's. Zoya might get jealous if y/n's attention or interest keeps going to another person. Zoya might also get jealous if the person keeps impressing y/n to a point where y/n can't even pay attention to Zoya anymore. Zoya might deal with this directly and almost immediately after she notices things started to change. Zoya would outright intimidate the person, like "If you keep pulling this sh*t I'll show you real sh*t" or she might end up driving the person away with threats, as said before.

BUT ANYWAY THANKYOU FOR READING MY TED TALKK, THIS IS ALL I HAVE TO SAY.. I HOPE ITS NOT TOO MUCH!

my darling anon 😌 ARE YOU THAT PERSON WHO PREVIOUSLY GIVING IDEAS ABOUT RAHU? if yes, such a big brain anon i have (you must be secretly a writer). regardless, i love your bunch of ideas 🫶

rather than making bots (i don't know how to make these jealous bots 😭) I'll be writing small scenario based on this!

can only do Rahu tho cuz, well, easier to make it comedy

---

Rahu paced silently through the corridors of the MBCC headquarters. Her normally stoic demeanor betrayed a flicker of agitation. She couldn't shake off the disquiet that settled within her whenever she witnessed that newcomer growing closer to you. The duties she held, the protective shield she formed around you, seemed to be slipping away, replaced by the unwelcome presence of another.

Every moment that newcomer spent in proximity to you felt like a dagger twisting in her chest.

One evening, as she stood vigilant by your side during a mission briefing, that person's laughter echoed in the background. Her silver eyes narrowed, and her fists clenched, but her external facade remained impassive.

Days passed, and she struggled to find a way to express her discomfort. Her stoicism, a shield against the world, became a barrier that even she couldn't dismantle. Instead, Rahu found herself acting out in small, subtle ways. She became touchier in moments when she was alone with you.

A soft hand on the shoulder, a protective stance when you walked together. Or during a team meeting, she'd strategically positioned herself behind your chair. With ninja-like finesse, she'd do a subtle shoulder massage, all while maintaining an innocent expression. Or even, when you engaged in conversation with that newcomer, she would swoop in, spin around, and deliver a high-five so intricate it left everyone bewildered. "Just checking in on Chief," she'd casually say before walking away.

---

discovery of the day: im such a bad writer

[moonlightguardianmoon]

Don't tell SCP 049

Day 5

Scp 035 was in one of the foundation's lounge rooms, having a pile of different objects next to him, seeming to be putting something together in the center of the room.

035: hm... needs more black paint... *starts going through the pile of stuff*

From the wall behind him a black portal apears and out the portal come scp 106. Half of his body exits the portal as he watches 035 pull out a black spray paint can from the pile and spray paint whatever it is he made.

106: uh... what... the hell... is that? *points at whatever 035 is making*

035: oh this?

In front of 035 is scp 173, partly spray painted black and half a plague doctor's mask covering over where their mouth would be. There was also a black cloth tied around 173's neck, simulating that of a cloak and a hood.

035: Why, I'm making a temporary replacement for the doctor.

106: *raises brow* ... why?

035: well you see here Larry, it's just not the same doing fun and outgoing things when there isn't anyone around to tell you to not do those fun and outgoing things. So, I've come up with a temporary solution!

106: ... by replacing the doctor with 173 in his clothing?

035: yes well technically mimicry of his hide or skin or however it's called. But yes! Pretty much old chap!

106: ... *looks at the sculpture* .... *then back at 035* ... you are aware 173 doesn't, oh I don't know... talk!

035: he doesn't have to! That's the beauty of it, because sometimes the doctor gives me the silent treatment anyways!

106: Ok? ... so, how is he just... staying in one place anyway this whole entire conversation?

035: oh! Because Jay is still ducked taped onto the ceiling from a few days ago still. *he points to the ceiling where 049-J is*

049-J: *staring intensely at 173 and sweating profusely* . . . C-Can I stop now please?

035: unless you wanna die by neck breaking... keep. Your. Damn. Eyes on him!

049-J: oh bother...

106: oh ya forgot we did that...

035: ya. *fimshes the spray paint on 173* and done! *takes a step back to view his work* What do you think!?

106: *looks at 173*

173: ...

106: ... well now he just looks like a peanut with a beak on it dressed in black.

035: close enough! Now! We just-

Just then scp-096 came walking into the room his back hunched over to get through the door; a paperbag accompanying him over his head to keep everyone safe from triggering his rage state.

035: ah! Shy! You just in time to meet the temporary replacement doctor!

096: ? *looks over at 173* ...

173: ...

096: ...

173: ...

096: ...

049-J: *struggling to keep his eyes open* ugh- *blinks* uh oh!

173: *is now a foot closer to 096*

096: *whimpers loudly and shaking his head in fear* *starts back tracking out the door into a speed walk*

035: damn it, Jay! I said don't blin-!

035: . . .

Suddenly the power goes out as a voice over the intercom lets everyone know that the power to the light would be temporarily shut down and that everything would be ok so long as the scps were in their cells. Once the lights turned back on, 173 had disappeared from the room. Everyone in the room had gone silent.

106: ...

049-J: ... I didn't do it!

035: ah crap.

The alarms then start to go off as the intercom changed to a voice of calm to panic.

Intercom: "Attention scp-173 has escapes containment! Currently it's uh- ... A-Am I reading this right? Uh... Currently dressed up as a... plague doctor?"

106: ...

035: ...

049-J: ...

035: ... Don't Tell Doc.

106: Yep.

035: can I go into your-

106: nope! *goes back into his pocket dimension*

035: ... sh*t! *runs out of the room*

049-J: uhm... hello? ... help...

Don't Tell SCP 049

Day 1 | Day 2 | Day 3 | Day 4 | Day 5 Current |

[chicagosfinest2021]

Doing another one of these because I don't feel like waiting for my followers to ask me nuthin LOL

0:Height Useless 5'3''

1:Virgin? No but I wish I was sometimes (even though virginity is a man-made social construct that has no bearing in reality)

2:Shoe size 9

3:Do you smoke? Just on the dance floor

4:Do you drink? Socially

5:Do you take drugs? Just my anti-baby pills!!

6:Age you get mistaken for mid 20's usually

7:Have tattoos? On this chocolate brown skin?? Nah baby

8:Want any tattoos? I'm good

9:Got any piercings? Just my ears right now

10:Want any piercings? If I can shrink my fupa down a bit I might get my navel done

11:Best friend? My sister

12:Relationship status Perpetually single at heart/by choice

13:Biggest turn ons Emotional maturity and introspection

14:Biggest turn offs Emotionally stunted people

15:Favorite movie Toss up between Queen, Bend It Like Beckham and Wakanda Forever

16:I’ll love you if You feed me food

17:Someone you miss My grandma </3

18:Most traumatic experience Being SA'ed by different men

19:A fact about your personality I'm just a straight up catch

20:What I hate most about myself I procrastinate too much, I also can't lose this belly meat for sh*t

21:What I love most about myself I'm smart, pretty, cultured, funny, and have an overall dope vibe

22:What I want to be when I get older The rich auntie with no kids that's always traveling and spoils her niblings with money and gifts

23:My relationship with my sibling(s) Me and my middle sister are basically twins and are super close, I have a half sister whom I love but she's not into the lovey-dovey stuff. She also didn't grow up with us so we're all still getting to know each other, but we're cool for the most part.

24:My relationship with my parent(s) They're not perfect but I'm both a mommy's girl and a daddy's girl

25:My idea of a perfect date It's been so long since I've been on a real date I can't even picture what a perfect date would look like to me at this point. I guess any situation where I'm not silently wishing I had stayed at home would be a step up to me.

26:My biggest pet peeves People who insist on bringing their kids everywhere and expect the general public to help them babysit. Also when I try to pay at the pump and they tell me I have to go pay inside. I'll just get back in my car and leave.

27:A description of the girl/boy I like This guy I'm currently in a situationship right now (not proud of it). He's Latino, we've known each other since we were 13, he's funny, very eloquent when he speaks, is a really good kisser, is kind of a fuckboi and is probably aware of it. . .

28:A description of the person I dislike the most Homophobic/transphobic people in general

29:A reason I’ve lied to a friend So she would stop asking me invasive questions

30:What I hate the most about work/school I actually really like my job, my pay is nice but it could always be better tho, nah mean?

31:What your last text message says My phone is charging right now but I was texting someone about details for brunch tomorrow

32:What words upset me the most "Item is no longer in stock"

33:What words make me feel the best about myself "You just have such a deep and passionate soul"

34:What I find attractive in women Everything, women as a rule are sexy AF

35:What I find attractive in men Security in who they are and what they're about so they don't constantly feel the need to dominate or be "submitted to".

36:Where I would like to live Ireland or England

37:One of my insecurities My big boobs, I feel like people oversexualize me because that's all they see

38:My childhood career choice I wanted to play piano but then I wanted to be a writer

39:My favorite ice cream flavor I want it to be rum raisin

40:Who wish I could be I don't want to be anyone but me honestly

41:Where I want to be right now Underneath my situationship pinned to the bed

42:The last thing I ate This casserole I made that was bangin

43:Sexiest person that comes to my mind immediately Alex Livinalli

44:A random fact about anything Queen Nefertiti was the stepmother of King Tut

[maguro13-2]

Shattered Hero ~ Origins of the Ink Demon Episode Maka Pt.5 ~

"Somewhere at a Naval Station..."

"Sonic Rush Stage : HUGE CRISIS ZONE"

Shinra (Devil Chaos Chao) : Hey, Arthur. I finally found where that Eggman...Negative fella. He could be hiding somewhere in the naval stations.

Arthur (via radio) : Loud and clear, Shinra. This does say Naval Station, but we're in the biggest naval station in all of Norfolk. I gotta admit, Norfolk is a really a cool city with the world's biggest naval station that ever served the navy for a quite sometime. But right now, this place is crawling with heartless and G.U.N robots, they must've been boat jacked by heartlesses. So many times that video games enemies are off the tracks, so we need to take these guys and find that man who came from the future version of Sonic's World, or proabably a descendant from the mad scientist. Exterminate all the G.U.N robots that were guarding the naval station, same goes to the heartless.

Shinra (Devil Chaos Chao) : Copy that. I'm on my 6. Alright then. Time to find out where Eggman Negative is hiding.

(Jeh Jeh Rocket by Hideki Naganuma plays)

Shinra (Devil Chaos Chao) : Alright, let's get this party started! Time to show a hero's gotta do, what a hero's gotta do.

Arthur (via radio) : With pleasure!

(Shinra puts on his shades on)

Shinra (Devil Chaos Chao) : Let's rock!

Heartless A : There he is fellas, it's the guy who created Soul World!

Heartless B : This little f**ker in a machine is going in a body bag!

Heartless C : Let's kill his ass!

Shinra (Devil Chaos Chao) : Sorry to bother you, but you're in my way! I gotta see the Eggman Negative fella! He has to be hiding somewhere! Gotta make sure If I'm in one of the right naval ships. You sunk battleship, but I'll sunk your battleships, with the awesome powers of this sick music beats! (rapidly fires at the Heartless) Alright, Eggman Nega! You're days of finding my whereabouts to Soul World's creation. It's do or die, Eggman Nega! You'll be finished!

Heartless A : Oh sh*t, dude! This guy's packing heat! Let's cheese it!

Heartless B : Let's scram like little girls!

Heartless C : Bolt! Bolt!

Shinra : (laughs triumphantly) I feel heavily alive with Technology! This is what you get for messing with our world, dumbasses! Now I finally figured it out that Eggman Nega has been hunted down by the reaper in the future version of Sonic's world, he was going to awaken the chao-eating demon Ifrit, a relative to the Flames of Disaster that might be the son of Amaterasu. The Ifrit had been sealed away at a long tim for Eggman Nega's sins because the princess named Blaze feared it! Wow! What a shocker!

"Meanwhile in Tokyo..."

[Doom's Eye - Jun Senoue]

Hotaru : Hello, Father. We meet again.

Professor Tomoe : Hotaru. We meet again after one of the Sailor Scouts has been in a deep sleep for over a year.

Hotaru : You know the reason why I came back to earth. I've come here to take my revenge on what you did to our friends! Using your science to the selfish deeds will not conquer the world, but only darkness will cover it and so does the galaxy!

Professor Tomoe : Hotaru. Ever since I went insane after their archenemies helped me on turning the scouts into evil slaves to work for Dark Nebula, Naoko and Togashi had me assassinated and destroyed all of my research to turn superheroes into corrupted supervillains.

Hotaru : That's the reason that me, Sailor Moon, and the YYH crew helped together to stop your foolishness and put an end to your wicked ways. That's the real reason why would I want to have a bad father like you, isn't it? You made my life a living hell and I would not even forgive you for what did you to everyone! I knew that I was going to betray you and I never knew that you were an evil scientist all along. You and those evil she-devils got what you deserved! Is that correct!?

Sailor Moon : Yeah, what you did to Minako, Rei, Makoto, and Ami was cruel and heartless, I will make evil utter in shame for your demise! So why on earth did you comeback!?

[Resident Evil 0 OST : ZERO ver.2]

Professor Tomoe : Back about over a year like I said, Naoko and Togashi had me assassinated.

*flashback*

Professor Tomoe : It's sheer perfection, when I turn the beloved Sailor Scouts into evil corrupted supervillains, my plans for world domination and galactic conquest will make Hotaru suffer the consequences she deserves.

Hiei : Sword...of the DARKNESS FLAME!!!

(DBZ SFX : EXPLOSION)

Professor Tomoe : (gasped in shock)

Yusuke : Spirit Gun!

*DBZ SFX : ENERGY SHOT+GLASS SHATTERING*

Profesor Tomoe : WAAAAAAHHHHH!!!

(girls screaming)

Professor Tomoe : (bleeds and gags) Ho...taru...W...Why?

Yusuke : Hey, Professor. We heard the whole thing!

Kuwabara : We should've know that idiots like you were hiding something like this.

Kurama : Guess it's time for you to meet your demise, professor.

Hiei : This is justice that we are serving and we are giving you the demands that we respect!

Hotaru : This is the end of the line, father!

Sailor Moon : You, Professor Tomoe, is going to pay for what you have done to everything! And I mean it to justice! (laughs triumphantly)

Professor Tomoe : (dying with his last breath) Yusuke...Usagi.

Yusuke : So, Botan. Where do you want us to throw the body?

Botan : I know of a perfect solution where he will never harm these heroes ever again.

[SPLASH!]

Yusuke : Hey, Usagi. Next time, give us a call if you guys are needed with restoring of one of your friends!

Usagi : Gee thanks! You guys are the best!

Professor Tomoe : However, after my demise, something wondrous happened when I transcended my heart to an immeasurable power.

*DBZ SFX : Energy Warbling*

Darkside (Professor Tomoe) : It took the powers of Darkness from the Sailor Scouts' archenemies and it took me years to procreate my new life into the shadows.

(transits back to the present)

[Resident Evil 0 OST : Confrontation with Marcus]

Professor Tomoe : I lived to rise out of the shadows of my death and free myself from this madness I caused. Now with this incredible power as a Heartless, I will have my plotted revenge on Japan and then the planet will be fallen into the hands of darkness! (laughs evilly)

Minako : You sick heartless scum! In the name of the moon, you'll pay for what you have done to us and including me, Sailor V!

Professor Tomoe : You'll see and we'll see which of us humans is gonna die when this planet done for! Hahahahaha---(suddenly gags, then retches and vomits out the darkness) That wasn't supposed to...happened!

Hotaru/Saturn : Father!

Professor Tomoe : Usagi! This is all you and Urameshi's fault! You brought me into this! (suddenly goes into an alarming transformation) You and him did this to meeeeee!!! I will show you the true meaning of pain and suffering. This shall be my final and last research for what it means to be a heartless! I will make you all suffer! I will show you fear! I will make you and Yusuke...DEAD!!! (transforms into Darkside)

Hotaru/Saturn : No...FATHER!!!

"It's just what it always happens to this. Even I knew what it means to have a heart full of light."

"But even in debt, but a heart like his rotted away to the darkness."

"I will never forgive anyone for their sins and neither they."

"Justice will be my only destiny as a hero to remain."

~ Act 4 : Justice for Saturn ~

[angelicgaming1007]

Scroll past this if you want

Just a personal thing sorry for so much personal stuff. We'll be back to our regular scheduled simping soon I promise

Friendships.. I have had 8 different groups since 2024 started have fights in them. And I wanna talk about that. Let me be clear. I wont choose a side. I'll never choose a side. Unless A. its you vs a stranger B. its you vs one of YOUR friends and you dont mind me getting involved C. Its you vs one of my friends, you're the long time friend, and they were seriously in the wrong (harassment, bullying, doxxing, etc) These are the situations ill take a side and side with you. Anything else I will not. Let me explain. Ill use random names I pull out my a** Lets say Joe and Bob are my friends. Joe has been my friend for 2 & 1/2 years Bob for 6 months. They are friends with eachother. I love Joe dearly they are like a sibling to me. Lets say I introduce Becky to them. Becky is a newish friend known her a month. You following so far? Becky and Bob get into a big fight. heres the issue: I take becky's side: Bob goes off to Joe and talks to him. Joe might end up upset with me and I lost Bob and Joe as friends or get backlash from both of them I take Bob's side: I hurt becky and lose her as a friend and get backlash. I stay neutral because Becky walks away from that fight just having pissed two people off. Shes fine, she doesn't know bob and joe, they know nothing really about her. But me? I'm left behind with the consequences. I'm the one who has to deal with the sh*t show and aftermath and can't move on. I'm the one who will be hurt by it.

and lets say Joe is also mutual friends with Robin, Rachel and Steve. Now thats 3 more friends I have to worry about losing because I chose Becky over bob. Thats 5 people I'd lose out of my life in an instant. I have to constantly play a balancing act and think carefully of my every action and word in these situations. Because I don't want to hurt or lose anyone. Taking beckys side could upend my life. This is why if you get angry I wont take your side or try to make me take your side. I'll always side against you or end our friendship. It doesn't matter HOW long I've known you. I will end it in an instant if you try to force my hand. Because you don't get how hard it is to play this balancing act between 48 different friends for 10 years. Along with many others who are now gone bc it got toxic and I had to do what I had to do.

What WILL I do in these situations: I will be neutral in public and try to calm things down I will then check on both parties privately and try to get to the bottom of WHY the fight happened then try to talk to them to get them to understand the others perspective so they will atleast be CIVIL. You dont have to be friends with my friends, heck you dont even have to like them. All I'm asking is try to keep your attitude in check with them in public. If you can't then walk away. its fine I won't be mad. Being in my group chats, my servers, my shared blogs is NOT a requirement for friendship and I never want anyone to feel pressured.

None of this means I approve or am allowing what any side has done. I do not approve it, and im not "allowing" it. Im not anyones mother or keeper. What happens between you is between you. The most I can do is try to keep it civil and peaceful for EVERYONES sake. because the thing is its not just you in the servers. Its not just you on the blogs, its not just you in the group chats and I have a lot of people to keep in mind. I'm working with what I have and doing the best I can. If Thats not good enough for you then I'm not the friend for you and you can leave at any time. I'm not trying to hurt or alienate anyone but I need you to understand the position you are putting me in everytime you verbally throw fists impulsively if you try to get me involved. This is why I highly appreciate friends like one certain friend who I will not name. because she let me stay neutral, she praised me for how I handled it despite her being one of the parties in the fight. She didn't shame me or try to force my hand nor did she direct her anger at me because she knew I wasn't the party at fault and that I was doing whatever I possibly could at the time. She has my full respect for that. And to the friends on here that have gotten in fights. Please note i do not blame you or the other party in the matter. In all the cases I have seen its been someone misunderstanding you.