#i am so afraid of the future i am afraid i will have to work till the day i die
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galedekarios · 13 hours ago
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full credit for the video of this conversation goes to @/imgoinmental on x
if you turn emmrich into a lich, he cries alone in his room because he misses manfred:
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davrin: emmrich. i think assan misses manfred i caught him in your room sniffing around, looking for him. emmrich: he's always in there searching for crumbs. davrin: no, he was whimpering. sad. emmrich: poor thing. davrin: when i was there looking for him... thought i heard someone else crying, too. emmrich: ah. davrin: i miss him, too. don't know what i'd do if i lost assan.
i want to gather my own thoughts here, too, a bit because this made me think more about The Decision(tm) and it's a heavy one: emmrich's entire life's work and his own fear of dying being put behind him (although not ever acknowledged or dealt with in a healthy manner) vs bringing back a companion, whom he had loved as a son and who gave his life for him.
personally, i think this, coupled with the reaction to rook's possible death in the final fight or even in the far away future as evidenced by the argument they have prior (both on the human and on the lich path, though i am only showing the lich path here as it is relevant to the discussion):
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emmrich: i can see the life course through you, my love. like a thread of diamond flame. yet... emmrich: i will lose you to time, rook. what if i can't bear that for eternity? rook: that's the most romantic thing i've ever heard. emmrich: what? rook: remembering me forever? emmrich: i'm afraid i'll mourn you forever. rook: that's ridiculous. emmrich: do you think so little of what i feel for you? rook: no! emmrich: then you could act accordingly.
i also always think about this line by emmrich's parents' graves:
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emmrich: lately, i've wondered what they'd think of our current course. the choices ahead. rook: your lichdom? emmrich: what would they have wanted me to be? rook: [option: never lonely/locks in romance]: happy with someone that cares for you.
the very first condition is that he must be able to let others go. he’s not nonchalant about his own death, not about manfred's, and not about rook's. he doesn't want to be alone.
i think in conclusion for myself, i came away from all of this very much believing that emmrich is not built for what lichdom requires of him and entails over the many, many centuries to come.
i wish the game offered more romance / character scenes to actually meaningfully address and discuss not only the argument with emmrich, but also his fear of dying.
(disclaimer: i want to clarify that these are just my own personaly thoughts. choosing lichdom is a valid path, depending on how you rp your rook, your backbackground and how you engage with emmrich. i am only looking at this through the lens of myself experiencing the game and emmrich's character.)
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myokk · 20 hours ago
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Hi! I'm still feral for these two, would you mind giving us some art of them in their later years together!?
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Hello angel!!!!
Sorry it’s taken so long to respond🫶🫶 but I wanted to draw some new art for this ask💓
We have: Sebastian and Eloise trying out their new fancy camera with a selfie, pictures of them with their daughter, and finally…idk I just always felt like this drawing is when they’re a bit older💓
I want to take this ask as an opportunity as well to talk a little about how I imagine their future (I have no chill & you can ignore this and just enjoy the art if you want😇).
I am a COMPLETE pantser - I never know how a chapter’s going to end when I start writing it (I always just have a few scenes I know I need to include to keep the plot moving forward). Although I have different *big* scenes I’m always writing towards, and themes/plot elements I’m always foreshadowing (shout out to @elliecutte for catching *almost* all of my hints and appreciating my general no chill😆), IM STILL NOT 100% SURE HOW I WILL END THINGS !!! 😳 I have a lot of endings I see as possible, and I think soon it will become more clear to me what will work the best💓
HAPPY ENDING:
Eloise and Sebastian become Unspeakables. I have a LOT of thoughts on this profession that could be its OWN post, and I feel like Unspeakables are generally specialized in one or two departments, but as their interests/research change they also change.
Eloise becomes an Unspeakable in the Mind and Death departments, with the occasional foray into Time. Her ancient magic is connected with all of these things (my version of AM is NOT like the game) & the Department of Mysteries is one of the only places that gives her any useful information about these things. Plus she thinks too much (it IS her hobby after all😆💓) and is very introverted so a hermit job like this is a perfect fit.
Sebastian becomes an Unspeakable as well, but I feel like it takes him a long time to specialize in anything, if he ever does. I just feel like becoming an Unspeakable is the adult equivalent of sneaking into the Restricted Section🥹🫶
They grow old together (I won’t explain TOO much) & have a lovely little family🥹 at least one daughter that they both dote on. Sebastian had an amazing childhood (idyllic until it wasn’t), and wants to give his daughter the same, and Eloise works hard to make sure their daughter feels the love that she never had growing up🥺
When Sirius is burned off the family tree, Eloise and Sebastian take him in🥹🫶 (they’re like 100 years old but WIZARDS LIVE LONGER…) The same happened to her all those years ago, and she wants him to know that his whole family hasn’t abandoned him.
Eloise LOVED her nieces - Bellatrix, Andromeda, and Narcissa - when they were younger, but as Voldemort becomes more powerful & people realize WHAT he’s doing, she has to separate herself from them. Her heart breaks seeing Bellatrix go mad, and seeing Narcissa engaged to a Malfoy out of obligation😔 (iykyk)
I haven’t thought any more about happy ending but I think it’s fun to think about how their future story might weave in with the actual canon events, ESPECIALLY since Eloise is a Black🥹💓
SAD ENDING:
After Sebastian gets his hands on Slytherin’s relic, it really starts to consume him and makes him even MORE obsessive than his natural tendencies - I imagine it similarly “talking” to him like Slytherin’s locket/horcrux did in Deathly Hallows (😳)
Eloise is deathly afraid of the changes she’s seeing in Sebastian and steals it from him (he would never willingly give it to her ESPECIALLY if it starts to feel like a precious item to him)
BUT the relic triggers the latent Black Family Madness in her - the madness that afflicts almost every woman in her family since…🤭 - and she herself starts to lose touch with reality. Her body and soul are already destroying themselves between the curse and the ancient magic inside of her, and the relic is what triggers it in her.
Sebastian becomes an Unspeakable, focusing on the Mind, in a desperate attempt to find a cure for his Eloise🥺
He never gives up his research, and sometimes when he comes home she is lucid and they talk about his research - otherwise, he just loves and takes care of her.
(He’s never successful in finding a way to reverse what he feels he caused in the first place - his ambition and single-mindedness is, to him, the reason why all of this happened)
Honestly who knows if I end their story either of these ways😌 I just love thinking of AUs and different endings and I have a few others I’ve considered as well!!! And whatever endings I don’t write will be immortalized on this blog and in my art as well🙏
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cal-writes · 21 hours ago
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*aggressively vibrates in lawzo zoro birthday celebration, i am on my hands and KNEES (still reeling from blackbeard beating ASS btw)
you know, same have some more train au birthday goodness
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“Happy Birthday.” Law tells him against his lip, tasting his smile. And morning breath. But mostly the smile.
Zoro hums contentedly. The sheets rustle as he lifts his arm from underneath them and strokes along Law’s biceps. “Thanks.” He mutters when the pull apart. His eye still bleary as he wakes up, smiling lazily.
“I made breakfast.” Law tells him, earning himself a raised eyebrow. “Well I made coffee and went to the backery for breakfast.” He admits and Zoro’s small smirk blooms into a full toothed smile that crinkles the corners of his eyes and reveals the dimple in his cheek.
Law shuffes away to grab the bags of pastries from the side before he starts ravishing the man and Zoro sits up.
“Oh, breakfast in bed?” He asks. His hair is gorgeously tousled as the sheets pool in his lap, torso naked. “What about the crumbs?”
“I’m making an exception today.” Law says. “And changing the sheets after.”
Zoro snorts, chuckling before he grabs a handful of Law’s shirt to pull him close for another kiss.
“You know you don’t have to come to the party tonight right? I know it’s not your thing.” Zoro tells him.
“Oh, good to know that’s how I can get out of these in the future but no. That wasn’t the intention.” Law replies. “Bepo’ll be there and I’ll hang out with Robin or something all night so it’ll be… fine.” He says.
Zoro snorts, pulling pastry bags towards him. “Alright but you can leave whenever you want. Luffy tends to get carried away with partys so it’s probably going to be bigger than you think.” He assures him before biting into a jelly filled danish.
Law nods dutifully. “Yes, I will.” He lies. Zoro’s intentions are admirable but he clearly has no idea that Law absolutely cannot cave under the combined judgement of all his friends. Law has been preparing for tonight for weeks. Thankfully Kureha made good on her promise and he got to skip the gala this year so his quota of public events hasn’t been purged yet.
And he genuinely doesn’t mind some of Zoro’s friends. He already knows Franky and how to deal with him, so that helps and he met the mysterious fiancé Robin finally, who is more of their own temperament. Quiet and cheeky.
Chopper can be persuaded to talk about work since he isn’t currently mad at Law for something and Jimbei and Brook are, by virtue of being much older than everyone else, their own brand of weird that Law finds more tolerable.
So it probably won’t even be that bad.
He feels Zoro’s gaze on him, sees him chew with a big chipmunk cheek and a raised brow.
“Ah, right.” Law says, leaning over to his bedside table to get the little cloth pouch out. “Present.” He adds lamely.
Zoro freezes comically, holding the pastry bag over his lap, frosting sugar clinging to his top lip. He rubs his fingers into the bag to free them from crumbs as he finishes chewing.
“I thought I’d already gotten one.” He tells him.
Law frowns, dropping the pouch into Zoro’s hand. “What breakfast?” He asks.
“Yeah.” Zoro says examining the little pouch. It’s a crushed purple velvet with a ribbon holding the top closed.
Law doesn’t know how to respond to that. So he just doesn’t.
Zoro puts the pastry on the side table, leaning down to wipe his fingers more thouroughly on his discarded jeans on the floor before he undoes the ribbon and opens the pouch. He tips the contents into his palm and Law watches his reaction like a hawk.
His eye widens, mouth opening softly as he straightens out the earrings in his palm. They are quite similar to his usual set, long narrow drops but instead of the shiny red gold these are a white gold matte finish.
“Shit.” He says in wonder, thumb brushing over the metal. “These must have been expensive.”
Law cringes. He’d been afraid of that. “Err.” He makes a vague motion with his hand. “They were on sale.” Zoro gives him a look. “They were! And I’m terrible at gifts if I see something good I’m obliged to get it.” He argues, scooting closer on the bed. “And I can afford it. Please? Unless you hate them then just sell them or something.”
Zoro searches for his eyes, holding him hostage for several long moments as if waiting for the caveat. Eventually he hooks a finger in Law’s collar and pulls him into another kiss.
“Thank you. I never had another set.” He mutters against Law’s lips, taking like sugar and jam.
“You’re welcome.” Law tells him. “There is another thing.”
Zoro closes his eyes and drops his forehead against Law’s. “Stop. This is ridiculous.”
“That ones more for me too.” Law says, digging into his pocket while his heart hammers against his chest.
The key lands next to the earrings in Zoro’s palm.
This close he feels Zoro’s breath hitch briefly before his fingers close around the objects in his hand. The other one comes around Law’s neck. “You sure?” Zoro asks.
“Yeah. You’re here more than I am anyway so it only makes sense for you to have one.” Law tells him.
He barely finishes the sentence before his lips are devoured and his lap filled by a beautiful naked man climbing onto it.
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smallishzine · 1 day ago
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hey guys thank you for the lovely responses to the interest form, I appreciate everyone calling me handsome and amazing and tall, and also to everyone calling me an idiot you’re in fact correct but guess what you’re the one filling out the form and I’m the one who made it so shut up shut up hahahaha. Sorry. I don’t mean that, please don’t shut up I’ll be very sad if everyone shuts up and I’ll have no one to talk to. This post is to address some of the things that you pointed out as us having forgotten, and we preemptively apologize for burying important info in this mess. It’s like a scavenger hunt! Or bureaucracy. Take your pick.
how humble we are (true, true. So humble. The humblest.)
smallishbeans (I’m fairly certain we remembered this one)
an ego check (yup, still there)
Eefo (you’re so right it’s a crime that we’ve forgotten him we will rectify this mistake immediately)
many variations of “timeline?” which we answered in this post
that you, the form fillers, are tall and handsome as well (indeed)
that one of you was watching shrek 2 as they filled out the form (good job. We approve. Not that you should care what random people on the internet think of your taste in movies, but 👍)
more smallishbeans (it’s like they knew)
how much one of you loves ldshadowlady, sparkle heart emoji (true and real. Only correct take. We also love ldshadowlady)
chicken murder (we decided to put the chicken murder before the form rather than in it, so as not to distract from your form filling experience. We apologize if this isn’t what you wanted, we will be sure to include more chicken murder in future forms.)
A spot for obvious professionals in form filling to rate the form, so they had to do it in the what did we forget box. we received the following ratings: 5/10, 10/10 (< a genuine thank you to whoever submitted this one), 0/10 (:(), 7.3/15, 6/20, and several more
multiple variations of “age limit?” Which we answered in this post
Jeremys blessing (which we actually didn’t forget you stupid idiot haha I’m sorry I don’t know what came over me I promise you are not a stupid idiot even if you don’t finish reading forms before submitting)
that one of you likes shrek but is cooler than us so really the form is egregiously incorrect (egregious is a bit harsh. More, stupendously incorrect! Or, fantastically incorrect! Also, if you’re so cool, why don’t you prove it by participating in the zine huh? Huh? Thought so. 😎)
That I am cool, and I haven’t forgotten but you wanted to remind me (I am mod Dinn and I approve this message)
our epic arson related plan of action for when the ship burns (I’m afraid I have some bad news for you…)
“Can I join??” (yes)
hey it’s you dailyboatboys let you in let you in let you in (absolutely)
other words of affirmation that we greatly appreciate. Everyone who called me cool, handsome, amazing, and other good things or who complimented the form or who expressed excitement and interest in the zine hold a special place in my heart. I read through every response so far and to every person who said that I was really cool, or that they were super excited for the zine, or that the interest form was really good, or that they were so down participate, thank you. Now enough with being sappy back to answering questions, lightly worded hate mail, and people who are also obsessed with Joel smallishbeans!
you’re all idiots (due to limited funds we cannot afford to purchase our own suggestion box, so we are currently borrowing the permit office’s. Did you hear that sound that sounds exactly like sizzling lava consuming a piece of paper with your eloquently worded submission on it? That’s the sound of our complaints department hard at work to remedy this issue. Thank you for filling out the form!)
can you write ships? (This is a really complicated question which we have a lot to say on so we’ll make a separate post explaining more in depth, but the gist is: yes, but that yes has an asterisk attached with a footnote a mile long)
a spot for ideas about what pieces you may contribute, which is actually a good point we’ll probably poll about what things people most want to see/art pieceify (writing is art too) at some point. As for your admission of obsession, gender-neutral-dude, what do you think we are?
these are just some of the responses we received, thank you to everyone who has filled the form out so far, and you haven’t, what are you doing here go fill out that form!!
-mod Dinn
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uncanny-tranny · 1 year ago
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I love (sarcasm) that the two options for working when disabled are:
1. Work at the risk of (permanently) disabling yourself further. Go home to a paycheck that won't cover much, but at least you have money. Fight the urge to cry when you're home because you're in so much pain and you can't do basic things anymore
2. Don't work. You'll be in just as much pain, plus you will have even less money. Getting a disability check probably won't cover anything, but chin up! A single dollar is better than no dollar, right?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
Nobody should be forced to make the decision to work or starve, but there's an added layer of torture when your body literally cannot handle these options. My heart goes out to us all, the world can change for the better
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opens-up-4-nobody · 2 months ago
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#ay. tomorrow might b the day i face the music#which is to say. i tell my advisor how fucked i am. i mean. ill spin it so it doesn't sound so bad#its just that ive told him like 2 weeks in a row that id send him my edited preproposal and i have not bc im too afraid to start reading#papers related to my project. which is frustrating. and like the thing is. and i kno ive said it before and i kno im not a fucking idiot#i can read papers and i can even understand what theyre broadly saying. but thats it.#zero critical thinking. zero insight. i use all my tiny fucking brain space to try to understand the words on the pages#and even then it only forms this broken fucking image of whats being said. like u dont understand. i used to struggle with writing papers bc#i couldnt fucking connect what i was saying from one paragraph to the next when i was the one doing the fucking writing.#what the fuck am i doing here? and again. im not stupid. i can follow the information if its fucking said out loud but thats not how this#works. and it just feels like sometimes there's a limit to what you're capable of and im at that fucking limit. the undergrads in my lab#have more ability to comment on papers than i do. its so fucking frustrating and i just have to live with knowing itll never get any easier#so what the fuck can i do other than drop out? theres no god damn way im gonna pass a comprehensive exam. not unless i buckel down and break#myself in half to try to retain all the information i need to. which requires that i read so many god damn papers that i cant fucking read.#just. why tf did i pick a career path where my suffering is inherent to a huge part of my job? i feel like ive consistently chosen to take#the hard path in life and ive finally stumbled too far from what is possible for me#so well see what comes out of my mouth tomorrow when i have my weekly meeting. i just feel like its my last semester#i feel like this is it. i just need someone to fucking hire me. bc everytime my lab mate mentions something abt#my project down the line or talks abt future conferences i should attend. im just like. its a nice idea but that's not happening. im just#at the end of the line and it sucks#unrelated
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shortformdrip-blog · 8 months ago
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Finally got caught up on my notifs! I usually spend time here each and every day, but I’ve been gone for 3! I’ve been working really hard lately to make some extra money because I’m moving to a new apartment. Moving is expensive! As I was working, my iPod broke, and that was the device I used to keep up with Tumblr. Now I’ve gotta do it on my phone, which I was trying to relegate strictly to business. Oh well.
The biggest annoyance is that all of this extra work is taking time away from my art projects! That’s the classic issue I guess; I need money so I can’t work on art.
Idk, I felt the need to vent a bit but I’m really not feeling to bad. I’m actually quite excited! Lots of work to do, so I’d better get back to it!
If you’re reading this I hope you’re doing well! Best wishes!
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funforahermit · 8 months ago
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dogearedheart · 5 days ago
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man, how do people keep their hope up?
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liquidstar · 1 year ago
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I'm glad the "Satire requires a clarity of purpose and target lest it be mistaken for and contribute to that which it intends to criticize" meme is getting critiqued in its usage because... While the sentiment itself is absolutely true... I feel like sometimes, perhaps, it's not a work of fiction's fault that you're personally bad at picking up on satire
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choking-on-roses · 5 months ago
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Why am I so fucking depressed this weekend. I feel like I have no friends, no family, and no fucking future.
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clerk427 · 7 months ago
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Tags rant
no general theme i just want to yell about stuff
will delete later i think
Upd. I am doing better but won't delete it because archiving purposes and I like to reread stuff like that as diary entries and think "haha what a feeble minded fool i was"
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dogfags · 7 months ago
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this will either end in like happily ever after marriage or the worst soul crushing devastating heartbreak of my entire life and I'm not prepared
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epaily · 1 month ago
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say what you will about 2017 but atleast when i was in high school tiktok and generative cheating ai werent a thing yet
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deadvalentine · 3 months ago
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jukeydragon · 5 months ago
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#...........................................................................................................................................#i think today was it#i think im about to be fired from mailman job#i said that if this job doesnt work out#theres nothing left for me#ive tried everything and nothing is worth it#idk why ive been alive for so long other than being bad at everything including kms#i have no one#other than people who dont accept me for being myself (trans/bi)#at this point if anyone were to try and help me id only be a literal burden#i feel so much like shit im privileged yet i cant seem to even take day to day well all i can think about is cutting myself up but then#if i dont die its just gonna be another problem for me to deal with on top of that i dont want people looking at me like that#id rather die i want to die i need to die#everybody i get close to leaves me and heaven forbid i a mentally ill person show symptoms of my mental illness and the people that have#said that theyre here for me gets pissed when i unfriended them on steam and that im abandoning them#when i cant even function alone#the only thing im afraid of is being alone or being betrayed#all of my friendships have ended and thats all i wanted in life was to have friends who helped each other out but not only do i not have#any of that i dont have a future even for myself#dont interact with me unless you have a good idea on how i can kill myself ive been done since i was 15#“itll get better” im 25 and privileged i should have nothing to complain about yet here i am getting worse by the minute for over 10 years#its never gotten better only worse and ive been fucking sick of it#please someone help me leave quietly i dont want to bother anyone else
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