#if we ended things now it might mitigate Some pain

[dogfags]

this will either end in like happily ever after marriage or the worst soul crushing devastating heartbreak of my entire life and I'm not prepared

[sir-yeehaw-paws]

No, but it does give you back some control, Kaz. Which honestly is an understandable feeling to want to have. But thinking about it, what’s gotta be worse than being both grounded-and in excruciating pain with much less function than he had previously?

Loss of control.

Even if I go with my headcanon of the capture being an organized thing between himself and Ocelot-that doesn’t mitigate it being traumatic or bad.

(Which obviously, is just a headcanon/theory: nothing I say in any of these posts is 100% proven canonically, this is just my own thoughts after all from context we receive within the game).

Anyway.

Taking aside the other factors (artificial limbs aren’t a guarantee that it makes things better, or easier. Extra weight, difficulties etc) thinking of the kind of personality Kaz has; that of a high-strung man eager to find his place and exert power over others (and if not power, then something akin to it, or mingled with other elements) a core element in that is control.

Being the one in charge. Someone who has enough of a position of authority to exert his will unto others. Whether that word comes from himself or Snake, he’s at the helm somehow.

After Kaz is rescued, he’s open about exactly how he’s feeling-

And honestly, a single look at himself, or even just how much pain he has got to be in on a day-to-day basis would tell him that he really doesn’t need to focus on that in order to remember. Frankly, I think he’d have a much harder time forgetting. After all, it’s been 9 years since the attack, and he’s still fueled so strongly by hate and revenge that it’s on his mind 24/7. Nothing else occurs to him, ever.

Angry enough that even after weeks in captivity, he’s fuming and chomping at the bit to get going again.

Sir the only thing you should be right now is unconscious.

But there is really only so much vulnerability a single person can take. Let alone someone like him.

Kicks help away.

If he’s in pain, it’s more than just a reminder. It serves as the one thing he has left to master. To be in charge of. Pain meds wouldn’t take all of it away. But it would ease it. Bionics wouldn’t take all of it away, but it might (or might not) help him. If he says ‘no’ to all of this, then he’s the one with the final say. Logically, it doesn’t make the most sense. After all, you can’t think or function properly in pain the way you could out of it.

Believe me I know.

I rely on aids myself, from time to time. I was a daily cane user for most of university.

A wheelchair for another trip. 

And there’s absolutely an argument to be made, that if he did take assistance. Help. That if he did get himself in less pain then he’d actually be exerting more control in the situation because now he’s the one that’s got a handle on it. He’s the one that took it back and brought it back to himself. Into a place where it no longer dominates him, but he dominates it.

But the longer he’s in pain, the angrier he can stay. Not to mention it provides an excuse for the anger. Now he’s not just in control of himself (so he thinks anyway, I’d argue the point with him myself if he was a living thing I could speak too) but kept mad and spitting. Mad enough to kill Skull Face, mad enough to keep going and going. Fueling his fire with self grown coals.

Because without that pain, that anger. Also comes loss.

Grief is one of the central themes to MGSV (a whole other post to be honest).  Grief and anger often times go hand and hand. Kaz isn’t a good person with good morals at the end of the day. A man who was so eternally displaced with his position in the world from the day of his birth, and really until his death that his solution was things like nation states and war economies. But you don’t have to be a good person, or a saint, to have been wronged in some fashion.

He's never been shy about admitting exactly what kind of person he is (in this regard, anyway)

And is there not, end of day, a large element of control rooted in things like this?

These are the sorts of ideologies Kaz holds: in his own words.

Like this:

Or this.

His lead, and Kaz's. (Since it's Kaz talking here that is not what is outright stated, but it's clear enough what Kaz might want, within these situations).

(One could also argue this is just morally corrupt people taking care of other morally corrupt people but that’d be a derailment. Another post would have to delve into that as well).

When he lost everything-his home, his limbs, he lost key elements of his control that he worked so brutally to build. Whatever scrap of it he can cling to and maintain, he will.

Obviously, Kaz is in a different place (and undoubtedly frame of mind by the 90’s) but in the 80’s, he’s holding strong to pain, grief, anger, and loss. Because if he lets go of the things that keep him fueled and furious, then all that’s left is all-encompassing grief.

And that must feel a whole lot harder to deal with to him (I’d think anyway) than being raging and fuming.

[love-triangles-au]

Regarding The book of Bill, can you still keep a bit of the cannon in the au?

Will come back to this topic! Mod Minty's book isn't arriving for a couple weeks so when that happens we'll discuss what might or might not need adjusting. There's also the ARG going on which is likely to give us even more lore.

But, until then, my SPOILERY thoughts as of right now are below the break (Minty don't look!)

I don't actually think much needs to change in the backstory department! Enough to decanonize Flat Dreams unfortunately, but replacing "Liam" with "mom" should be convincing enough (As much as it pains me... </3 Well, nobody said Liam's NOT canon... ;] but honestly if the full backstory doesn't hit [mixed feelings on the implication that he didn't actually destroy his dimension on purpose] might just stick with FD regardless and be an AU within an AU) However, there's one really fascinating aspect of the book that might be a big influence on our story: the romance one.

Frankly even without all the stuff with Ford he's shown/implied to have multiple exes, dedicates a whole five pages to the subject of love and how much he's sooo above it (frankly gets borderline hysterical about it at points), and that valentine (you know the one) seems to very much imply that he wants a partner or at least a family of some sort (and frankly so does a lot else in the book).

(Also Love Triangles name drop twice?!?!?!?!? canon)

The exact effect this is gonna have on how we write him is something to be discussed, but he was insanely pathetic in this book so some of that girlfailure energy is certainly inevitable. Thankfully the pitfalls I had writing in his voice before now are mitigated a lot, the book gives me a ton of reference lol!

Off the top of my head, though, I think the moment he falls in love with Venuz he's going to be pretty unbearable in his attempts to "impress" him. His wording ("how to TRICK someone into loving you," "love is a sales pitch," "no one's going to love you if they know all the terrible secrets you're running from") speaks volumes about just how insecure he is, even if you take half his suggestions as jokes. No dead air, he will blab 24/7 to "distract" him from "noticing and considering his copious flaws." Absolutely starved for attention, constantly doing or saying things to get it whether it be rolling in carrion or "accidentally" getting his claws stuck in the curtains. In fact he's so incredibly desperate for attention that he seems to think that fear is as good as love which is, uh. an opinion for sure.

Thankfully Venuz seems to hate dead air as well if his constant meaningless Twitter posts are any indication, and, though not as weird and twisted about it, is about as flashy. I think he's the type who loves to spoil his loved ones, as well, so that's definitely something that should help Bill feel more comfortable. But, of course, that kind of bone-deep insecurity is something that will have to be addressed, especially after the stuff with Ford; wow he did NOT take that well, I'd imagine that was his most painful breakup so he'd probably be especially unbearable given this is right after all that.

Frankly, I have kinda mixed opinions on JUST how pathetic Bill is in the book. Like, obviously he was before, but I almost wonder if he was woobified a little too much. My sister pointed out that this makes sense because the book has to be entertaining and funny, and she's right, but I dunno; may end up playing with canon like dolls a little, who knows >:Pc

One last thing though is that he very clearly has a lot of trauma. We were writing him like this anyway but now it's canon that he's constantly hearing screams and blacks out when he thinks about the events of his past too much, which is a FANTASTIC excuse to keep the nightmare catalysts going; maybe he didn't inflict amnesia upon himself like in FD but if he's experiencing all these things in the waking world (and it's stated he doesn't sleep) can you imagine how horrible the nightmares must be? This guy has full-blown PTSD and we're gonna make him come to terms with that.

But, once again, just my thoughts for now until we're able to tism out together. Stay tuned and please mark spoilers if you'd like to discuss; Minty reads all >:Dc

~ Mod Emily 🦇

[misty-caligula]

To preface this, I’m going to be talking about growing up in a really generalised way, it’s not meant to be read as a critique of people or as prescriptivist. It’s just an overall framework, from my own point of view.

I think that growing up, graduating from childhood into adulthood, has less to do with age and more to do with personal experience. Because when it comes down to it I think that what’s most critical in the difference between an adult and an adolescent is that adults tend to put a lot more thought into our decision making process.

That’s NOT to say “Oh dumb teenagers don’t think about stuff.” Instead, I mean that those of us with more life experience have more experience of failure. Tend to be more aware of what failure means, in practical, real world terms. We’ve seen and felt and had to find solutions to the consequences of our actions, and through doing so we’ve learned not only how to mitigate those consequences, but also ... which decisions we absolutely do not want to repeat. We more appreciate and value the experience of peace and calm and stability because we’ve had our fill of chaos and the discomfort and pain that comes with it. And so when we make any kind of life choice we’re more likely to really think it through based on what consequences we can REALLY tollerate dealing with, what risks we can REALLY accept. And we learned that by ... fucking around and finding out.

The yellowjacket teens are really showing that process in full swing, and I think it’s such a big part of what I love about it.

Shauna, pre-crash, had unprotected sex with Jeff. She knew, logically, that there was a chance that this could lead to pregnancy. But it was a very ... theoretical, vague kind of knowledge. In the same way that you know, in theory, that if you don’t wear a seatbelt you might die in a crash. It was a bad decision on her part (no judgement but it was) which could’ve been easily mitigated, if only the reality of the consequences were more clear to her. Post-stillbirth Shauna is going to be radically different. To her the consequences are VERY clear, very real, very personal. If she were transported back to that night with Jeff she’d not have done it, even if she didn’t know for SURE what was going to happen, where they’d end up. She’d just have a deeper conception of what consequences REALLY look like, in practice. What a choice that you cannot take back really feels like.

Misty smashed the flight recorder, potentially dooming the entire team. Whether or not that’s why they’re not being rescued is irrelevant, it’s what she believes. She did it on the first day, in a very emotionally fragile and intense situation. This was a TERRIBLE fucking choice, but ... she didn’t think it through. She couldn’t have, fundamentally, understood what she was doing. Because the consequences again were so theoretical, so vague. And because she was running on a high of perceived competency, she was sure that she’d help them all out, be a hero. She might well have thought that she was just delaying rescue, that at some point they’d work it out and she’d just be a big hero. The true consequences of her action only begin to really hit months afterwards. When Laura Lee died, when Jackie did too, then Crystal and now the baby... Misty knows it’s all her fault. And the blood is literally on her hands. Things are only going to get worse from here, and this Misty, this 9 months older version, covered in blood and full of guilt, wouldn’t have smashed the box. Given the choice she’d have gone back and undone it. But she can’t. Sometimes we make choices that have HORRIFIC consequences, and then all we can do is survive them, and hopefully learn from them. That’s what growth IS. We learn from mistakes, but that doesn’t mean that those mistakes are any less disastrous.

I think this is fundamentally what the yellowjacket adults are missing. Their refusal to acknowledge and process their past - and the decisions they made and the consequences that came of them - robs them of the capacity to learn from those choices. They’re stunted in their growth, frozen in place. For all their extra years in so many ways they still haven’t grown up. Instead they’ve all built coping mechanisms to hold their trauma and pain so they can pretend to function as well as possible and hide the fact that they’re all so ... stuck.

And a large part of that really comes down, I feel, to guilt. They’re making a fundamental mistake where they’re judging the actions of their younger selves by their current realities. Shauna cannot realistically relate to pre-crash Shauna anymore, and cannot understand - or forgive - herself for her irresponsibility. Misty is so full of self-hatred and guilt, blames herself for everything, she can’t possibly look at that tiny version of herself with compassion and understanding and say “You fucked up so bad, but I won’t because you did.” They’re putting the consequences of their choices before the decision making which is a really common error people have when they regret things. They make a choice that goes badly, then they regret the choice because of what happened afterwards. But if it had worked out - even if it was STILL a bad choice - they wouldn’t regret it. And they can’t acknowledge or appreciate that error because they’re not processing or analyzing their choices properly, which is keeping them stranded in time.

As an adult it is SO hard to look back at a younger you with compassion and care, to say “Oh, look at you screwing up, don’t worry you’ll learn not to be so hurt. You’ll learn how to find your stride.” And I say that having NOT actually gotten lots of people killed or eaten my friends in the wilderness. I’m not exactly proud of many of the choices I made, but I can only imagine how much harder it’d be with their level of guilt and trauma, to say “It’s okay, I was a kid, what’s done is done and all I can do is do better.”

[night-market-if]

Hello! I was wondering whether it'll be possible for the MC to have a personality switch in Book 2? I loved playing a kind, generous, and forgiving MC in the first book but what happened to them in the end was awful — to have been brought into the world as a person, someone who thinks and feels and loves and suffers only to die at the hands of someone you trusted/loved/considered a friend or a lover is horrifying, and citing the greater good only goes so far because it doesn't make any of this less premeditated and ruthless; it doesn't minimize the MC's suffering because this kind of suffering is not relative. Even if Milo didn't think of it as actually killing them — they are the Night Market and the Night Market will go on, it just won't be walking its own streets — the MC is still a fully realized being and both a part of the Market and /apart/ from it. They were used and then murdered and Milo's plan didn't even work as intended — the MC was rendered helpess in their "final" moments and was then defiled in front of the very people that cared about them. That's not just an act of betrayal against the MC, it's an act of betrayal against the Night Market itself. And it was an act of violence against the people who could do nothing but stand there and watch their friend/lover die and get brutalized. Plus, he conspired with another Baron! It's just. Incomprehensible levels of fucked up and I suspect that Milo's past and the philosophy of a greater good will not shield him from the fallout. Even if characters like Hazel and Malcom might understand why he did what he did, it doesn't change the fact that he did it — that he is capable of something so heinous.

Anyway! Milo is a very interesting and well-written character (and I do love him) but I hope he'll get his due (not necessarily at the hands of the MC).

So, I've been trying to figure out how to answer this because I really want to answer this. So I am going to preference this with nothing is set in stone.

That being said... yes...? So here's the thing. I am not going to write a route of an MC going ballistic or be cruel. Mainly because that is an entirely different story I would have to tell from the main. I mean, if we have an MC that doesn't care about the Night Markets state because they are wrapped up in their own pain and suffering, we wouldn't have a game.

BUT! MC will have more moments of having an opinion, sticking up for themselves, etc. And I think sometimes that can come off as being angry. And there are hurts that will need to be addressed and they are going to need to be addressed in a variety of ways. Those you will get to choose from.

As for the entire Milo MC thing at the end.... MC has more to do with that than is out on the table right now. So, while as the reader you are absolutely allowed to see that as you have described, some of that information you have is going to change at the start of Book 2 as the MC gets a little more of their memories and their motives back. Which, I still think there is room not to forgive Milo, but inner reflection on MC's actions are going to need to be examined as well. And I know that doesn't make a ton of sense but I'm trying not to give away plot.

Also, I think one thing that everyone is forgetting, Milo is your Gatekeeper. You will have to work with him to save the market. Or, get the market back on track, at least.

This is all a roundabout way of me saying, I'm not positive how things will shakeout for the MC yet in book 2. But, there are a lot of mitigating factors that were only lightly hinted at in the book that will kind of change things around for book 2 a bit.

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[tstwitterupdates]

I feel like (imo from being a creative and having life get in the way) Thomas plotted out s2 and how it was supposed to go a long time ago and then his whole fricken world changed. Cause like, first it was the production company, then Joan and Talyn, then several health scares, then a relationship and a breakup, and, obviously, and entire pandemic and a hurricane ruining part of his studio. And that's just the stuff externally. So I get why it's taking so long, cause he wants to make it perfect, and he can't change his plans for s2 at this point, because it will ruin basically everything. Plus, with Into the Unknown and the among us videos, right, it's clear he's trying his best to put content out there. So I can understand where he is.

I think I'm just frustrated because I miss when we had stuff like Thomas and Friends content, like Real or Fake Anime or Joystick Joyride and stuff. I feel like the Sides/Cartoon Therapy wait would be less painful if we were getting a bit more content on that end, you know? Cause while it's been a long time, I still feel like it would've mitigated the pain seeing him a little more frequently. Plus, I think Roleslaying would feel less odd if there was other content going out around as often as the once-a-week uploads for a month or so, rather than it being basically all the content we see from him, now.

I know Thomas is also getting to a better place with bulk recording an the like, and I'm genuinely still excited to see what's coming up. It just sometimes feels like Thomas is hyperfocusing on the big projects, and not letting himself enjoy the stuff that makes the bigger projects feel more substantial, if that makes sense.

i kinda agree im not sure i haven’t made up my mind on this. i liked the videos with his friends before but they’ve also gotten so extra that i no longer watch them either, im now one of those fans just waiting for sanders sides. but i do wish he would make simpler fun things either small sanders sides episodes or small vlogs. i miss his vlogs. but mostly because of nostalgia, those things made me company through the worst years of high school lol. anyway getting off topic.

i do think thomas is trying his best, i do not doubt that in the slightest. but even when you try your best if you don’t have a good strategy the results might not be the best. but i dont know what their strategy is so i can’t judge i guess.

more asks and replies under the cut

yeah like. they pushed the limits of what they could do with what they had back since accepting anxiety. and then they got better equipment and staff and stuff and instead of saying “now we can do the same things in less time and with less effort” they went “now we can do even bigger things that push our limits just as much!”

which is their decision to make not mine but i assume that’s where some of that stress might be coming from.

yes i agree with all of this. there’s some blogs that have posted criticism or defenses against criticism that i just find incredibly mean spirited or that make good points but phrase it in aggressive ways i don’t like.

i think whichever opinion you have it’s best to be open minded. acknowledge our own feelings and talk about them without attacking anyone. it’s okay to feel frustrated and angry and then we’re responsible about what we do with those emotions. and i think it’s cool to talk about them with other fanders that have felt the same. just stay open minded about what others have to say and then make up your mind about how much you agree or disagree.

and keep in mind that we know nothing about how thomas and co work. on both sides. like you cant claim their workflow is perfect nor claim it’s horrible because we just don’t know. but we can say we’re feeling disappointed or bored or annoyed or whatever because those are our own feelings.

yeah again this is my blog and i post what i want. and im doing my job by tagging and warning them.

and also thomas is a grown man in his thirties who has been a social media personality for, what? maybe almost a decade? im sure he knows how to be responsible about it and not go digging to read criticism of his work to get hurt by it. or at least i hope so. if he doesn’t then that’s out of my hands as well. and the hundreds of people supporting him on the replies of all his tweets more than make up for a handful of blogs that make angry posts every once in a while.

yes that’s understandable. but i still don’t know. if thomas has these personal problems that are so serious that they cause his content to come sooo slowly and still cause him to have this much stress then he should probably just take a huge actual break. and let us know about it. without necessarily telling us the reason of course.

if after Putting Others First or the last Asides he had said “hey im going on a hiatus for big projects like sanders sides and cartoon therapy while i figure stuff out, but i’ll film x kind of content because it requires less effort and i enjoy it” or even that the entire channel is going on hiatus, and then he came back like a year later and said “okay we’re back first thing we’re doing is writing the finale script!” or whatever then that would have been less frustrating than this. even if it had taken the same 3 years. because at least afterwards you know that he’s better and the wait would be worth it. at least that’s my opinion.

[supportivecircle]

The Lanolin Ship Studies #3

Hey everyone! Lanolin and I are here with another Ship Study, where we study and breakdown the pros and cons of the most popular Sonic the Hedgehog ships! Fans of the series will probably be wondering, "Wait, what happened to #1 and #2?" Well loyal readers, it turns out some trolling antis got those posts taken down. Apparently, a lot of them didn't like the thoughts I had towards their favorite ships, K.K. Slider x Sonic (K.K. Slonic) and Amy Rose x Chun-Li (Amy-Li), and brigaded my posts to get them falsely taken down. Don't worry though, I won't let the haters stop us! I will continue to provide you with thoughtful, and sometimes critical, insights into all the best ships while I work on getting those posts back up. Today's ship has definitely earned it's spot at #3 in the most popular ships:

That's right, it's Lara Croft x Rouge the bat (Larouge). Wow! Look at them! Lanolin sure is excited to explore the aspects of this relationship today. For a little detail on these two, in case you somehow don't know, Rouge the Bat is an infamous jewel thief, super spy, and occasional hero from the Sonic the Hedgehog series, while Lara Croft is a renowned archeologist and explorer from the Tomb Raider series. Looking at the two of them, you might not have guessed they'd have shared such a love for ancient artifacts and exploring old tombs, but looks can be deceiving! They have a lot in common which makes them quite the priceless couple.

Pro #1: Shared Love of Relics Did you know Lara Croft has a huge artifact collection from her adventures? This is where she differs from other archeologists. See, Lara Croft likes to take artifacts from ancient sites and just stores them within the personal library of her mansion to stare at while she sips on her morning tea (did I forget to mention that she's british?). Rouge the Bat also takes artifacts and jewels for herself. Oh yeah, and Lara Croft is super-rich. The two of them can keep all the gems and statues for themselves without needing to worry about money! Just two girls traveling the world looking for ancient burial sites and tombs to raid.

Pro #2: They Cover Each Others’ Weaknesses In Combat Rouge the Bat is a bat. She can fly and zip around the battlefield when things get a little hairy. Using her powerful legs, she can deliver swift spin kicks that are capable of drilling through hard surfaces with her Pick Nails! She was even able to go toe-to-toe with Knuckles and end the duel in a stalemate. Lara Croft on the other hand is a master markswoman. She is capable of pinpoint accuracy when dual wielding pistols, firing an assault rifle, or hunting animals with a bow. They completely cover each other's weaknesses when it comes to fighting enemies, whether they be agents of GUN, badniks, or members of the Fiamma Nera! If anyone gets too close to Lara, she can count on Rouge to kick their butts. They truly make an amazing battle couple.

Pro #3: Chest Counterweights Now before anyone gets weird about this, it’s a defined physical trait that both of these ladies have larger than average breasts. This actually works out very well for the both of them as a pairing! Because Rouge is much smaller than Lara, she can actually be carried on Lara's back in her backpack when traveling.

As shown in the above diagram, by going back to back, these two can offset the heavy weight that rests on their fronts and they act as perfect counterweights for each other. This way they can help mitigate the pains that can come with having a large chest.

Now, when reading through the countless fanart, fanfiction, and discussion of this pairing I can only find one real con that persists between iterations:

Con #1: Rouge Won’t Settle Down! Rouge the Bat is non-committal! Who could ever hope to keep her chained down when she has wings and was born to fly? It’s definitely a problem for this couple, but personally, I think they can slay that dragon. After all, Lara has experience in slaying dragons. Maybe she can locate the Dagger of Xian stuck in this dragon and pull it out again! 

That brings us to the end of the latest entry in our Ship Study series! I hope you all enjoyed it. After researching it, I find this ship quite enjoyable, and I think Lanolin is a big fan too! Thanks for reading everyone, I promise I will work on getting the first two entries back up in full as soon as I can. Based on my data, I already know which couple will be the subject of Study #4. I’ll leave you with a hint, but I think for a lot of you it will be a dead giveaway: both of these mystery solvers always find the truth. Say goodbye Lanolin!

[thesquidkid]

Who says science isn't exciting?

4x07 Dig me out

I need to start off by saying that the science in this episode is only between Shivani and Liz, so if nothing makes sense, know that I really did try my best to understand and translate what is going on.

Also, the usual disclaimer still holds: I am not a biologist, simply a maths nerd. And English is not my first language, so apologies in advance if I word things weirdly. I am also writing this in the evening, after a long day of uni. Have fun reading!

During diner at the restaurant with Liz, Rosa and Shivani, we have the following dialogue between Liz and Shivani (I find it very rude that Liz completely ignored Rosa during the meal, but that is not the focus of this meta):

Liz: "Wait, so... we were looking for a way to attack damaged tissue. Right? [...] Okay, but fractals, they're all over the place. In cell physiology, and in human anatomy. I mean, what if we used that same pattern?"

Shivani: "We might be better able to holistically mitigate damage."

Liz: "Not only that. We could regenerate the cells altogether. I mean, you have this new cryogenics company, right? An immersive chamber might be exactly what we need to undo the damage that has altered these cells. We could flood our subjects' circulatory systems with bio-engineered organic compounds that are in a cryogenic..."

Shivani: "Pod"

So. Let's begin from the start. As Liz says, we indeed have fractals everywhere. And I would be a bad mathematician if I didn't start by talking about fractals in maths (this is purely an excuse to nerd out over maths and forget about biology for a moment). So, by definition, a fractal is a geometric shape containing detailed structure at arbitrarily small scales. Many fractals appear to have a similar pattern at increasingly smaller scales (like the Mandelbrot set, which is given in the picture and gif at the end of this post, after the cut, taken from Wikipedia)

Fascinating isn't it?! This is just one of the most famous examples of fractal patters (and I may or may not have attempted a few times to figure out how to plot it myself). Fractals don't just appear in mathematics, but also everywhere around us! For instance, some species of algae, lightning bolts, and DNA all contain fractals. So this was the fun part of that conversation with Liz and Shivani. Now, let's have a look at the less fun part:

Shivani: "We might be able to holistically mitigate damage."

As I am not a native English speaker, I had to look up what mitigate meant because I wasn't sure. Mitigate means to make something less severe, serious, or painful.

Holistically (in medicine, which is what I'm assuming they are talking about) means "in a way that treats the whole person, taking into account mental and social factors, rather just the symptoms of a disease." So, here, Shivani is suggesting that they might be able to (using fractals) reduce the damage on the whole person (i.e. not just their body). Which, when it comes to minimising damage in medicine is not something that is always so easy to do. So, fractals would (according to Shivani) allow them to minimise the damage done to Shivani's daughter and Max on a global scale.

Then, Liz mentions that they could use fractals to regenerate cells.

Liz: "Not only that. We could regenerate the cells altogether. I mean, you have this new cryogenics company, right? An immersive chamber might be exactly what we need to undo the damage that has altered these cells. We could flood our subjects' circulatory systems with bio-engineered organic compounds that are in a cryogenic..."

Is regenerating cells using fractals something that is scientifically possible? According to some papers that I've read, the answer it yes. The idea behing this method is that since cells have a fractal pattern to them, we can use fractal dimensions, and their repeating pattern at the wanted scale, to influence how new cells grow. This can be done by introducing vasculature (= vascular system of a part of the body) to the target cells. The scientists use computer programms to recreate that vasculature, by generating the wanted fractal pattern to insert to the cell.

So, this was a little explanation of how fractals can be used in the regeneration of cells. Which, is definitely something that Shivani would have the ressources to do and to finance. Now, let's look into the next science fact mentioned in this conversation:

Cryogenics: in physics, it is the science behind the production and behaviour of materials at a very low temperature.

The special branch of cryogenics applied to biology is called cryobiology, which usually has the purpose of cryopreservation. As far as I can read online, the use of cryogenics in cell regeneration is mostly about preserving the cells in their current state.

So, in terms of Liz trying to regenerate Max and Michael's alien cells, my guess is that she could freeze their current cells so that they don't degrade more, before finding a cure? To be honest, all of the papers I've read about cryogenics and cells talk about preservation, so I can't really see any other use (since, again, not a biologist).

However, for Shivani's case, cryopreservation is very accurate, for the lack of a better word. Her daughter is in a cryogenic pod (as seen in 4x06, and as mentioned by Shivani in the above conversation), wich mimicks the preservation of the alien pod, by keeping her cells in stasis.

So, in conclusion, in my opinion, the use of cryogenics makes sense when we consider Shivani, but not when we consider Liz. And since Liz does not know about Shivani's daughter, I will assume that this is Liz's way of keeping the alien secret, by not revealing that she too posssesses a statis pod, only not a cryogenic one.

And this is all for the science in this epsiode. All in all, I would say that it is human science, namely because I could find published articles which back up what both Liz and Shivani are saying. Sorry again for the delay between this meta and the previous one, hopefully the next one will come sooner :))

And here are the pictures/gifs of the Mendelbrot set, taken from Wikipedia, and put behind a cut because some people may find the gif disturbing:

And since I am a big nerd, I tried coding the Mandelbrot set on Python. I did manage to get the first picture, but sadly the zooming in is a bit too hard for me to do (yet). Below is the picture that I got myself, which I am very proud of!

Edit: I made a gif! It's not as exciting as the one from Wikipedia, but I am still very proud of it. You can find it here

[elminx]

Energy Update: New Moon 01° Sagitarrius

On Wednesday, 11/23, we will be experiencing our first non-eclipsed Sagittarius new moon since 2020. There is a lot of energy in the planets right now, so let's start with some bullet points.

Sagittarius is our mutable fire sign and is ruled by the planet Jupiter

The 01° new moon will be trine to Jupiter in Pisces (though off element)

Jupiter goes direct on 28° Pisces on 11/23 as well

Mercury and Venus will join the new moon for a powerful stellium

Mercury and Venus will be trine to Chiron in Aries

retrograde Mars will be trine to Saturn in Aquarius and square to Neptune in Pisces

Altogether, this energy combines to be a mixed bag. There is a lot of potential within this energy (coming from our benefic planet Jupiter) but there is still a lot of pain in the air. This makes some sense if we've been paying attention - we're coming off of an extra-intense eclipse season on the Taurus-Scorpio axis which activated our fourth and final square between Saturn in Aquarius and Uranus in Taurus. A cycle has ended but most of us are in the licking-our-wounds stage of recovery. Every time that Chiron gets activated by our personal planets (in this case both Mercury and Venus this week and the Sun next week), you can guarantee that some of the personal and collective pain points are close to the surface. This isn't a bad thing so long as you can get past the idea that "pain is bad". Not all of us can, unfortunately; rather than face the pain, we instead hide from it or take steps to mitigate it rather than address it.

If you are on a healing journey - physically, mentally, or spiritually - personal planet aspects with Chiron are the perfect time to focus on that work. If, on the other hand, you are disassociating to hide from your pain, this week is likely to be a hard one to experience.

Jupiter is the great embiggener - it expands everything that it touches. This is generally considered to be a good thing and highly positive but it is also possible to focus on and enhance the bad things in life, too. The combined energy of Jupiter + Chiron calls on us to address rather than repress; in fact, it might remove our ability to repress altogether! It is worth noting that as Jupiter stations direct on Wednesday, it will begin its forward journey towards Chiron in Aries which is only sitting 14° away at this point. We are working towards this inevitable conjunction between these two powerhouses - what comes up now is merely a preview of what we can expect to experience when they meet.

That is to say, the energy of this week - overall - is demanding that we deal with our shit. People who are avoiding this (for whatever reason, valid or not) may have a tough go of things. You may very well be forced to confront something that you have been trying very hard not to look at. With Saturn involved, through our action planet Mars, you can guarantee that it is for our "best interests" though it may not be enjoyable in the moment.

Here again, we look back to Jupiter and the sign of Sagittarius. Light-hearted Sagittarius has an important lesson to teach the world - how you approach things matters. Sometimes life is a piece of shit and when it is, it's really easy to fall into the pattern of EXPECTING life to be a piece of shit. If instead, you can say to yourself: this week, I need to shovel shit and do this work so that next week, I can play; then you are tapping into these energies well. The big flex this week is to dig into where it hurts rather than turning away from it. The big flex this week is to tell the fucking truth, even when it hurts (that's a Sagittarius specialty). The big flex this week is in understanding that the shit that you shovel now becomes the manure with which your future grows.

As we enter this new moon energy - this first uneclipsed new moon - we have a chance to start something new. There haven't been very many of these since January of 2020. We've been in a holding pattern for a really long time. Now's your chance, but it comes with a bit of a caveat: use it wisely.

Do you like my work? You can support me over on Kofi.

[lgcseojin]

✱  BSIDE 002

— DATED 7.13.2023

Seojin sends his younger brother off

The room is silent save for the occasional sniffle and whimper. Tears streaming down his younger brother's face cascade down his cheeks and neck — a waterfall of regret and fear. Seojin keeps his back turned, closed fist pressed against his mouth. In his other hand, he grips an electric shaver. The five round heads look up at him; gaze cold and steely.

"... I don't wanna go..." The young man sniffles. "Please don't make me go. I messed up. I really fucked up!"

"Chanhyeok... You gotta go... and don't even try to think about running away when you're there. Someone would come and get you." The sigh that falls from Seojin's lips is a heavy one — brimming with reluctance. However, he makes no ado about the process, running the trimmer through his locks bit by bit. Large chunks of black hair fall at his feet. "You're lucky I'm doing it here. When I went, the guys pulled my hair and cut my head."

"Hyung..." His little brother chokes out a whimper, hands moving to grab his neatly trimmed head. Seojin places his palm to the back and hums curiously in response. "I'm sorry..."

"Huh? For what?"

"E...— Everything. For... for causin' you trouble, bein' a pain in your ass the past seven years... mom and dad's, too. Dahye prolly hates my guts and Dasom doesn't even wanna do stuff do with me anymore... I'm sorry. I'm real sorry." The apology becomes mangled amidst hoarse sobs. "Wh—When I get done, I'm gonna get you a new guitar and take Sommie to Everland... a—and..."

The plea for forgiveness tugs at Seojin's heart strings. A solid lump pulls at the back of his throat. He looks upward to mitigate the stinging in his eyes. The most he can choke out in response is a strangled chuckle and shake of his head. He hands him the small bag of belongings he is able to keep after slipping a letter inside.

"Let's go. Everyone's waiting."

Dear Park Chanhyeok little bro, It's really funny. You're going at about the same age I did, and dad, too. All of us outta nowhere. I guess it doesn't matter that we aren't blood related at all cause it's true that these Park boys are a bit crazy, huh? Anyway, it's better to get it out of the way. I know what your goals are. You have people waiting for you to come back so do it quickly, got it? When you're there, do as they say. Don't cause any trouble, don't talk back. Don't showboat. Strive to just be average or you'll end up like me. Eat your meals. All of it. Even if it tastes like shit. Drink any water you can get. If a guy pressures you to smoke, sneak out, or pull a prank on a higher up, don't do it. Be on your best behavior and keep your mouth shut. You might end up in fights. Don't punch back. Keep on standing straight. Find some kinda hobby. Make friends with good guys. If you end up causing shit, everyone gets punished. I know they let you have your phone but don't use it too much. Give it up when they ask you to. Keep it and film something if any hazing goes down. Call me, or mom and dad if anything happens but go to your superior first. I'm sure stuff has changed since I've been there. I heard things are getting better or so I hope... If you wanna make it to the other side, you have to listen to me. You know how serious this is and I don't want you to have a hard time. Since you joined our family seven years ago, I knew there would be a lot to handle but you are my brother now. I care about you. You know I'm not great with words and might think I'm overbearing but it's for your best interest. I've watched you grow up from a teenager into an adult and I know you have a good heart in spite of everything that you've been through. You're scared but I know you can get through this. I'm rooting for you. Love you, Your one and only hyung

[mythicaldemigoddess-of-deltarune]

Helluva Boss Theory: Blitz Is Verosika, Fizz and Barbie’s Scapegoat...Part 1

[Note: Reading This Is Optional, also gonna put “not for kids” and “mature audience only” for this, just in case...] 

because of how I’m feeling right now, I will be breaking this into parts, possibly just two parts...

it might be possible that Blitzo, isn’t fully to blame for his bad luck in relationships, he just ends up in toxic-relationships that end up breaking his heart.

and what ever went down with Verosika, Fizz and Barbie, it might not of been fully Blitz’s fault, and yet he is made the scapegoat and all the blame is placed on him...

we only know some of the story between him and Verosika, and we do know that Blitz and Fizzy use to be best friends until something caused them to fall apart. 

we don’t know much about how Barbie and Blitzo were together during their childhood, but for all we know, Barbie’s poor relationship with her brother, could not be fully his fault and she doesn’t want to take some of the responsibility as to why it had become broken.

also I want to say, that I decided to check the AO3/Archive Of Our Own again, and it seems there is something different now. it says "We'll be back soon!" and even has some info that says it is currently offline due to a DDoS Attack.

and they are working on the mitigations and hope to return to service soon, and to stay tuned to the AO3 status on Twitter or on Tumblr for updates. well, guess things are looking up.

I am gonna make sure to keep a eye out and even if it might take time for AO3 to fully get better, I still hope it gets better soon, but how long it will be, well it might not be right away, but I’m gonna wish those who are working on the problems, some luck.

I hope no one was trying to update their story when that mess started, that would really suck....I know I brought this up before, when I posted that one post some hours ago, that talked about a bit about whats going on with AO3, and well at least we got a bit more info about it and hopefully it will be fixed soon.

anyway, back to the theory about Blitzo being made as Verosika, Fizzarolli and Barbie’s scapegoat, it is possible that there is more to the stories between Blitzo and those three, than just him being bad at relationships...

the problem with those three, is that they seem to want to pull that scapegoating, and make it seem that Blitz is to fully to blame for why their platonic and romantic relationships with Blitzo had broken and fell into pieces.

it is possible those three, had did some emotional damage to Blitz, which would explain how he acted at Bee’s Party, and once again it might be the Embodiment Queens that have more sense and possibly more empathy than the Embodiment Kings.

Bee might feed on the energy of some of the gluttony of others, but it might only be the positive side of it, and not the really bad negative side of it.

Bee could see that Blitzo was in emotional pain and know he was gluttonying in the wrong way and for the wrong reasons, and she wanted him to get some form of help and she possibly wanted him to feel better and could sense something deeply hurt him to the point of him drinking and kissing strangers for the wrong reasons.

(feel free to skip some of these parts and skip down to where it goes back to talking about the whole Blitzo being Verosika, Fizzarolli and Barbie’s scapegoat to their broken relationship with him. keep a eye out for the bold.)

I think the songs that would fit my feelings are "Monster" by KIRA, 2018 Song Called "Bulletproof" by Godsmack, "Bulletproof" by La Roux (yeah they both have the same name, but different lyrics.), "Break Me Shake Me" by Savage Garden, Undertale Parody Song Of "Stronger Than You" from Steven Universe....it would be the Chara Version of the Parody.   and the song "F*** You" by Lily Allen.

I like those songs, and well I think I had just learned about the Bulletproof by Godsmack, it is pretty good.

hopefully things can become a bit more better, and one of the things I can hope for is that I'm NOT Jesus's Descendant, don't mind if we are distant cousins (because we are both descendants of King David, but my being a descendant of King Solomon & His Son Rehoboam, still ain't a curse....it's a blessing, because I don't have to take that throne...)

I'm pretty sure that being Jesus's Descendant & Cain's Descendant, would be not so great because of some info I had found before....

and yeah, just because my blood type is O RH D Negative doesn't mean it is proof that I'm Jesus's Descendant, plus that blood type might of been around way before Jesus was born into human form...

also if it were possible and if I was allowed to by both the Heavenly Father & Earthly Mother, I would punch Archangel Samael so freaking hard on his arm....

I think I should try to do some stuff to make me more happy and do some healing, cause I am so tired of Male-Angels crossing lines they shouldn't freaking cross.

and there is possibly only a few I can trust not to push me to the limit...I want to try to hope things can get better, but even if it does, it doesn't change anything.... I don't think my trust issues with some Male-Angels (not just the Fallen ones...) can just be "fixed", not after some damage has already been done...

oh yeah, another song that would fit would be "Apologize" by OneRepublic... and I want people to try to understand my feelings and not tell me "you should give your full trust to them." and "I'm sure they have their reasons."

yeah, like I said....even if I can trust some Male-Angels.....but my trust for all of them, is not likely gonna be for a very long time....not after the messed up stuff that has been going on.

maybe with any luck, there are some Male-Angels & Female-Angels that are trying to fix things, and try to get more trust back....cause this Earth Angel Enbirl, will need to see some form of improvements...

a weird thought pop into my head just now, and it has to do with the Goddess calling Lucifer "Morning Sunshine", like it is a cute nickname....like a Mom would give to one of her babies...not sure if she would really call him that or if that is Lucifer's nickname, another thing that pop into my head is the word "Little Morning Sunshine", and "Sparkle Star"....

ya know, even if he still shouldn't of done it, but Lucifer could of waited to do his little rebellion until AFTER the balance between the Masculine & Feminine energies were fixed....

if the Earthly Mother Goddess allowed me to, I would slap Lucifer over the head....it is possible because it wasn't fixed during those times, the Masculine energy has been all infected with toxic energy...

and yeah, some of the toxic energy is in the feminine energy now, but lucky for us, it isn't as high as the masculine one...

it is possible that the energies has been trying fix the damage done to it, after some idiot human ancestors back in the days of the Indo-Europeans, had foolishly dethroned the Goddess...

lucky there was still some humans keeping the faith of her alive and well, and can we NOT use the word "woke" the way some people have been doing so...

it's bad enough some humans misuse that word, so please don't say I'm being "woke".....also I know it is possible I have been a bit bittersweet at times lately, but with the bull slag that has been going on for me, and the other stuff that is going on, I can at least try to do stuff to make me happy to help with those bittersweet feelings.

I mean I had to put up with some bull slag stuff in 2015, and I ended up a mess and at some point I couldn't take it and ended up in a depression, and oh let's not forget that even after I got better from that, it was either in 2016 or 2017 that I ended up falling into another one, and this time it wasn't because of family stuff going on in real life.

and it took time for that second depression to fully heal, and it felt maybe a lot more worse than that first one, even if I still had stuff and people to make me feel a little happy, but that not so great feeling was still there.

and when watching Boss Baby, I had laughed in a way that was a sign I was getting better, it was possibly one of the good signs that I was healing.

my personal space wasn't being respected enough in 2015, I couldn't even write or draw in private without one of our house guests coming into that room and invading my personal space...

it got so bad, that when I ended up showing a type of look, my much older cousin got on to me for it, and I had to go to the bathroom and cry....I was living in a personal heck...

if I was giving a "dirty look" or whatever, it's because you all wont stop coming into that room and just leave me the frag alone, I need my personal space, and I don't like people looking over my shoulder when I'm trying to draw or write, and I'm the "bad guy" for wanting you to stop invading my personal space?!

everyone needs their own personal space when they need to be left alone, and I hardly got that when we had some people staying over and they wouldn't stop coming into the room I was in.

I can still talk to others when I'm able to, but that stuff that happen before, I just can't stand how it went....I just like to be alone at times, like family can still be in the house...

but I rather be in a different room, by myself when I really need it....and it can suck when you do get that full happy energy back, it is once again taken away from you, and you be lucky to just have some happy energy left.

it can also suck when you are talking to someone, but they give off the whole "they are just looking for attention.", talking about another person....

and you might feel you can't truly tell them some deep and troubling feelings you have at times, because the thoughts you might get is that "they might think I'm just looking for attention as well."

like even if I can talk about some feelings, but maybe there are some things that I shouldn't talk about.....and there is some stuff I do keep to myself.

anyone not just me, would need time to be alone, and it can be to heal.

anyway, we might get more of the story between Blitz and those three in the future, from what we seen in a flashback in one of the episodes, it did appear that Blitz and Fizz were really close like brothers, but something happen between those two that cause them to hate each other. 

Blitz not hating Barbie, might of shown that he still held some form of hope to patch things up with her, but he might can do better than her...

he has a new family, even if it isn’t perfect, at least he found a kindred spirit with his daughter, Loona.

it might be possible that Blitzo, has emotional trauma, and one of them being his bad and toxic-relationships that involved Barbie, Fizz and Verosika.

the other emotional trauma, might have to do with his Mom, and we don’t know what happen to her or if she is still alive. 

there could be other emotional traumas that Blitzo has been hiding from everyone around him, and not just about his Mom or his Sister, or even Verosika and Fizzarolli. 

something must of happen in Blitzo’s past that had did some serious emotional harm, and we might find out more about it in the future, but it might be a while before we do so.  

it might be possible that Blitzo, had romantic feelings for Fizzarolli, if that hallucination he had has anything to go by....

each of those who showed up in his hallucination, were these characters...

Striker, Fizzarolli, Verosika and Moxxie.....and lastly, Stolas. 

those five were love interests, Blitzo possibly had formed feelings for Moxxie before Millie and Moxxie met each other, but Blitzo never really got to form a romantic relationship with Moxxie, but he still seems okay with Moxxie and Millie being together, and they might be viewed as his OTP.

Striker might of notice that Blitzo had formed a small crush on him, and used that to try to talk him into working together.

and it might be possible that Verosika was only with Blitzo, for just one thing...

which if her little solo song at Ozzie’s has anything to go by...

it is lucky Blitzo wasn’t a human, or else she would of sucked the life right out of him, even if it does turn out that Blitzo is a quarter succubus...

it is possible that the succubus, well the full succubus and not the hybrid ones, will be a bit more dangerous, if they take too much lustful energy and life force from humans, and if they take too much, it could cost the humans their life.

for demons, like hellborns and sinners, it only drains them enough to make them tired and make their stamina low.

also there might be a reason why Blitzo couldn’t please Verosika, and there might be a reason why he took off, and it wasn’t originally just to max her credit card on horse riding lessons, and it was originally to get away from Verosika and how she has been treating him. 

and if it is because how Verosika had treated him, and he only left to get a break from her and how she had been treating him...

even if she might be upset with him, but she could at least try to see from his point of view and how he might of not been happy with how things went between them, like he could of really loved her, but she made their relationship all about the physical love, and even if Blitzo might view Stolas’s actions being like Verosika’s....

it could turn out that it not fully true, because unlike Versoika, Stolas does care about Blitzo, and knows to treat him like a person with feelings.

Stolas would be willing to just sit with Blitz and just talk and maybe even talk about their feelings, that is how much he loves Blitz.

Blitz might of got use to being treated a certain way by those he formed a romantic relationship with or one-sided feelings for...

while it might be possible that his feelings were one-sided for Striker and Moxxie....it might be unknown with Fizzarolli, if it was one-sided on Blitz’s side or if it use to be mutual or if it was just platonic on both sides.

the weirdest thought, would be if Barbie might of had a Brother Complex, but the chances of that are VERY small, so it might not be likely and there could be other reasons as to why their relationship might not be the best.

Barbie didn’t appear in that hallucination of Blitzo, and those who did, appeared to be those that Blitzo had formed romantic feelings for, but they had ended up in heart break....and since Fizzarolli was in there, then maybe it was at first platonic and in time, Blitzo had formed feelings for Fizzarolli but something happen, and he possibly never got the chance to tell Fizzy how he truly felt.

Blitzo’s feelings to Barbie, is the family type of love and he does seem to care about his sister, even if things aren’t really the best between them right now.

and this theory might be debunked and I don’t really mind if it does, but my theory is that Barbie had formed a brother complex, which would mean that she saw Blitzo as more than just a brother, and I don’t mean just a friend....it is possible that the rehab place she was send to, wasn’t just for those who get hooked on beezle-juice, it might also be a type of rehab that helps with other problems as well...like those who form complexes...

it could be possible that Barbie could have formed her brother complex sometime before Stolas went to the circus with his Dad-Butler and his Bio-Dad Paimon...(still gonna view that Imp Butler as Stola’s True Dad, even if he isn’t his biological dad.)

before rehab, the feelings could of been small, and Blitz’s Mom had been taking Barbie to some form of therapy, possibly in the Sloth Ring, to help her daughter get over her small yet unhealthy crush on her brother.

but as the years went by, it only got worse and they had no other choice but to send Barbie to rehab.

Barbie might of got over her Brother Complex, but she could still end up placing the full blame on Blitz, even when he rejected her feelings.

but it could be possible that Barbie doesn’t have a brother complex, but something else was the cause of her and Blitz’s family bond breaking.                

fans could come up with different theories about Barbie and Blitz. 

and well, with any luck, the brother complex wouldn’t be canon, but I would be surprised if it did turn out to be true.

Blitz does love Barbie, but only as family and not anything beyond that.

and that theory about Barbie, having a crush on Blitz, might be incorrect.

and the broken relationship between those two, could be in the platonic zone.

while the broken relationship with Fizzarolli and Verosika are in the romantic zone, and Blitz could of had romantic feelings for Fizzarolli, who was possibly his first love, at first his feelings were platonic love for Fizzy, but over time it had grew into romantic feelings, but something happen to cause Blitz to resent Fizzarolli, even his Robotic Fizzarolli Copies...

Blitzo might not want to form a romantic relationship, but at the same time he still wants to, but because of bad experience and fear, but that might be only some of the reasons, and we might find out more about it in the future besides what we have seen so far.

Blitz might not be fully to blame for his relationships with Verosika, Fizzarolli and Barbie had broke and fell apart.

and yeah, even if not everyone has to agree on this theory, I think it could still be possible that that those three have been scapegoating Blitzo, and not taking part of the blame on why their platonic and romantic relationship with him had fell apart, and even became a toxic-relationship.

anyway, I will talk more about this theory about Fizzarolli, Verosika and Barbie scapegoating in the Part 2 of this...

I’m going to check out a few more stuff on here, and then watch some show or movie...or both, like watching a show first and then a movie...

also if by chance some didn’t skip some of the off topic stuff...

I hope some can understand why I feel like punching Archangel Samael on the arm, and if if the Heavenly Father & Earthly Mother allowed me to do so...

I would gladly punch him in the arm, like REALLY hard....

also I hope friends and other people, understand and respect on my feelings, like how I at times need to be alone for some time to myself.

anyway I think I am a bit tired, maybe after checking out a few more stuff on here, I will go to sleep...and it might not be today, and maybe not tomorrow, but I will try to find time when I can to write the part 2 of this, that has to do with Verosika, Barbie and Fizzarolli’s scapegoating Blitzo.

not everyone has to agree on that theory, but I still think it is possible that Blitzo isn’t the only one at fault for the broken relationships that involve those three.

maybe I can try to do some form of meditation, which just has me closing my eyes and listening to music, and I think I will listen to the song “Release Me” by Agnes. and maybe after listening to that song, I can listen to “don’t go breaking my heart” by Agnes.

not all meditations have to be 100% the same, not even the music that is listen to during it....and yeah, it might be weird, but those songs are great to listen to for meditation, and if I want to close my eyes and do some form of meditation that has me listening to them, then I will. I can try that later...

and with how some toxic-humans have been triggering me in the wrong way, maybe it be good to do some meditation and listen to some music at the same time, it might help a lot and well that, and reading some of the books I have, as well as watching some episodes of some shows I like and even a movie...

but if it turns out I am not able to to find a movie to watch today, I can try for tomorrow....anyway, if I’m not able to make a part 2 of this theory about Blitzo being Barbie Wire, Verosika Mayday and Fizzarolli’s scapegoat this month.

I will try to make part 2 maybe next month instead...                                                                     

[shimmerbeasts]

Isobel was admittedly struggling with herself, wondering to herself how she could continue how she was. While these moments were rare, of her faith being shaken by loss, it always hit her with intensity. Because for her, a world without Aylin was hell, made worse by the shadow curse around them. Not even the moon maidens light could comfort her during these times.

It was interesting, then, that it was at this time Mizora chose to make her presence known. Scent alone gave her away, the aroma of orchids and brimstone filled the air. Isobel was quick to wipe away her tears and straighten herself up, putting on an act once more. “Mizora, it’s been awhile since you’ve appeared here. Might it have something to do with your Warlock arriving here, earlier today?” @faerunscursed

Sometimes, not all arrangements a Cambion made, resulted in the taking of a soul. However, that did not mitigate the importance of those arrangements in the slightest for they might become useful at the most unexpected of times. Such was the case of the deal, Mizora had made a couple of moons ago with the freshly resurrected Isobel Thorm: For allowing the cleric to be able to rest without endangering the integrity of the magical selunite barrier, Isobel provided the Cambion with those, who endangered The Last Light Inn and were at risk of falling to the Shadowcurse anyway.

Mizora could not help the slight pleased smirk as she sensed Isobel's grief over the loss of her beloved Aylin. Much like a wolf could not prevent its jaws from salivating at the sight of raw meat, so too, could a fiend not stop themselves from feeling immense pleasure at the misery of someone else. And the loss of someone, you loved and held dear, always pained people so sweetly.

Still, Isobel would not be Isobel, if she could not get herself together quickly again. The cleric turned to face the Cambion, posture straightened out and her tears dried. Even that delectable pain ebbed away swiftly. Isobel had remarkable control over herself. Mizora stood in front of her with an air of familiarity and relaxation, her wings slightly open, her hands by her sides and her tail lazily flicking back and forth.

"Hello, silver star." Mizora greeted Isobel with a polite nod, any traits of her infernal hunger gone from her face. "I agree. It indeed has been a long time. I see, you are still holding up surprisingly well. Despite how the Shadowcurse is encroaching upon your lands day by day. Tell me, have they gotten hungrier too?"

Upon hearing Wyll's name being mentioned, her tail tip wagged in excitement and joy. Good puppy. He and his playmates had made it through the dark after all. But then Mizora had never doubted him. She did not make it a habit to doubt Wyll's capabilities.

Mizora chuckled and responded: "I am afraid, Isobel, but in this case, it is a lucky coincidence. Or maybe, it is not. My pet has some business in Moonrise to take care of. As do I for that matter. Which is what brings me to you, my trusted partner." She stepped closer and opened one of her wings before she confidentially placed it upon Isobel's shoulders.

"We have been helping each other for quite a few months by now. I think, our partnership has worked exceptionally well for both of us. However, now I must ask for your help once again. You know these lands better than anybody else. You must know some things about the Cult of the Absolute or at the very least about the inhabitants of Moonrise Tower. Someone on my end is quite concerned with how things are developing up here. I am here on their behalf. They want as much information as possible. Could you be a darling and help us out?"

[vaguely-concerned]

thinking about how augustine puts all the blame for what happened to alfred on cristabel and by extension mercy, because if he didn’t direct all his anger that way he’d have to be angry with john......... and even, most painfully and fraught of all, with alfred himself. and that is so deeply incompatible both with his devotion and loyalty and love and with his immense eternal-life-long guilt. (it somehow feels like there’s something alike here to the dynamic that happened between harrow and gideon after the suicide of harrow’s parents to me -- the trauma-weight shifting blame and guilt and responsibility around to wherever will hold it when it’s too painful to look at straight on -- though I can’t actually explain it properly yet, and in that situation there wasn’t also a notorious deific gaslighter involved to intentionally muddy things up even further over centuries lmao). augustine is definitely not a reliable narrator of what happened back then because of all of this, but notably mercy never really defends cristabel against this particular accusation of being the instigator of the suicide pact either, for all that she clearly loved her immeasurably and will fiercely defend her against any other criticism. so it appears they’re more or less in agreement about what happened back then, they only differ in what they think it means? I don’t know honestly haha I have only Vibes here and from the outside it’s of course easier to spot that at the end of the day the real blame lies with john and the system of empire he set up around him anyway.

there’s also a really interesting contrast between mercy and augustine in how they relate to their cavaliers in the now -- mercy sort of keeps cristabel alive, she keeps bringing her up in conversation, makes idle observations about what she might think of things; to her cristabel seems to be very much still present even in her absence. meanwhile augustine, during the divine threesome dinner party (I love these books), describes being prompted to talk more about alfred and what happened back then as ‘oh very well, then, just dig him back up’, like he wants to at least let him rest in peace, considers him dead and buried in some way that’s of course at odds with the fact that he’s kept forever alive inside him as fuel. (which are also the opposite impulses of what they envision for themselves after their bout of some light recreational mutual deicide -- at that point mercy wants to be buried with cristabel in death, and augustine feels the obligation to keep himself and alfred alive at least until they’ve done what little they can to mitigate the damage they’ve caused. I love how they trade roles back and forth like that at the end of the book it’s so neat. ‘mom said it’s my turn to have the hysterics so you gotta keep your shit together for a few minutes before we switch again’)

mercy says ‘she’s still here’ and augustine says ‘he’s gone’, and they’re both right and they’re both wrong. and this is the system john put in place at the start of his new world: a world where nothing is truly alive but grief.

[fabrickind]

Hello there!

As someone who has been cosplaying for two decades now: no one will laugh at you. People will be excited to see a cosplayer from their favorite series. Believe me. Even if your costume was somehow the worst thing ever, no one will be mean about it in person. (and I'm sure your costume is fine!)

At the end of the day, we're all nerds playing dress up, and we are all going to look a little silly. The sooner you internalize that silliness, the sooner you will have maximum fun with the hobby. :] If you can bring a friend to the event, even better, so you have a backup person and also someone who can run interference in the off chance something DOES happen (which, again, very unlikely).

So with that said, here's my tips to help alleviate anxiety:

Bring a change of clothes to the con. You can stash them in a car if you have one, or bring something small enough to fit in a bag, or wear something under your costume. (A tank top and shorts if you aren't wearing the traditional kimono undergarments would work well for the latter.) You more than likely won't need them, but in case something does happen, you have a backup plan.

Practice wearing the costume around your house more. This will get you used to wearing it and how it feels to wear. Practice some poses in the mirror so you have confidence when someone asks for a photo. Know what parts make you uncomfortable and mitigate that (does it tend to gap open? Plan to safety pin that part shut. Do parts not stay in place? Find a way to keep them in place with pins or adhesives. Are the shoes painful after a while? Add insoles or bring a backup pair.)

Share photos of yourself in cosplay with close friends before the event. That way, someone will have seen you and is able to hype you up!

Practice things like makeup and wearing the wig before the event as well so you know what works for you and you don't have to worry about it day of.

Iron your cosplay. I'm assuming it's a pre-made one? These usually come folded in a way that creates creases in the fabric. If you want to really up your cosplay game in one easy step: iron the costume so it is nice and flat and crisp. This won't help with anxiety as much as it will help you to look your best, and looking your best might help your anxiety :]

Practice some comebacks or brainstorm ways to get yourself out of a situation in the very rare chance someone does say something mean. Even just "bro I'm literally neurodivergent and a minor" (I have no idea if those things are true or not LMAO) can disarm someone. If someone says something mean, tell yourself as many times as you need that it's a reflection of them, not of you. Fake an urgent phone call. Again, highly unlikely you will need this, but it can give peace of mind to know that you have the toolkit in case you do.

As for general tips, check out my beginner cosplay and cosplay 101 tags. This will have advice on both cosplay making and attending cons collected from around the net.

I hope that helps! Good luck :]

In April there’s a comic fair in my city and I’m going in cosplay,it will be the fist time that i cosplay outside of my room so for me is like battling with the fear of being bullied or laughed of.

I’m going as Nezuko,a classic character,that is cute and recognizable,do you have any tips ?

[dailyadventureprompts]

I want to set up a "what do you fight for" moment for my players, but I'm not sure how. Any advice?

Drafting the Adventure: The Ethos Moment

One of the beat pieces of writing advice I ever got is that every main character has a fundamental misapprehension about how the world works, and that most good character development is about challenging this misapprehension until they come to understand a truth about the world, at which point they now possess the right mindset to push past the thing that was initially holding them back and reach their ending.

It has a lot of different names depending on the type of story you're telling, and can very wildly in whether it's positive or negative for a character ( someone in a heroic story might find a deepest reserve of strength, where as someone in a horror story might fall off the deep end and become a nihilistic witness to the nightmares that unfold) but I like to call this "The Ethos Moment" because it aligns the character with the overall message of the work and comes to be a defining part of their character moving forward, signaling that they've "graduated" into their final state and are ready to face the challenges ahead.

Naturally this is way more difficult when you have 3-5 OTHER main characters who might have worldviews that not only contrast but contradict one another, in that something that might be actively harmful to one character (the reluctant berserker giving in to rage) may be tremendously cathartic to another (the putupon victim finally getting revenge against their wrongdoer).

Bringing about an ethos moment is a delicate process of characterization alchemy, one that I can't provide an exact formula for as it largely depends on the character, their player, their dm, the campaign they're playing, and the point in the story that the party has currently reached. That said, like all great works of TTRPG storytelling an ethos moment is best improvised half way through an ongoing story, making use of the character building the party has already done.

Regardless if a character started out as a blank slate or a fully realized individual, through the process of adventuring they've acquired experiences and expressed opinions, things they've liked, disliked, grown proud of, or been hesitant to do. These help you define the boundary of your ethos moment, which you can start writing into your story once you feel you have a sense of what really makes the character tick.

The key is figuring out what line the character in question doesn't WANT to cross, even if failing to do so hurts them in the long run. Will the apathetic character finally let themselves connect with someone else and in turn recognize the pain that made them put others at a distance? Will the nhilistic character realize there's good worth holding onto in the world? Will the control freak realize sometimes you just need to be in the moment? There's no point giving an already physically powerful character a hidden wellspring of strength at the 11th hour, we already know they're strong, just like it's not worthwhile to have a well liked and sociable character realize they were fighting for their friends all along. What the ethos moment gives them is a means to temper their character, mitigating one of their largest flaws and growing as a person in the process.

One of the secrets of engineering such a scene is that it can be equally character building if they FAIL to learn the lesson, suffering some setback because they chose to stick to their misapprehended worldview. Facing failure because they stuck to flawed convictions seeds cracks of doubt and regret through their mind, leading to questions and divergant actions next time the oppertunity presents itself.

As for what motivates these scenarios: mentor characters can be great for this, seeking to instill an ethos moment early as they set the character on the right path. Gods are also great motivations, with different entities laying claim to who the character IS and COULD BE with a narrative to decide who will ultimately rule. As for when in the game this all should be set in motion , I'd say about 7th level? long enough into the story that your party's had some development, but not so long that they're going to reach that lauded 10th lvl milestone as the same people they were at the start of the campaign.

Art

[bitchesgetriches]

I have a question about boycotting million and\or billionaires. How much financial damage can it do? Is the aim political damage? Asking because I've seen 'Boycott Jkr to stop her financial influence on British politics' stuff around and I'm just wondering if it will actually have an effect on her financially? The women has millions of not billions of pounds and I'm just not sure a boycott, at what is probably the tail end of her career, can do. I personally don't buy HP merch because I don't like her anymore and I don't want to show her any support, but it's more political for me than actually trying to un-millionaire her.

You are one smart cookie, my dove! For you're right: what we as individuals do to boycott millionaire creators like J.K. Rowling will have very little affect on their bottom line. But boycotting is not without merit. Lemme 'splain!

Why it won't affect her income:

- She's already a billionaire. And when you have a billion dollars, it's easy to KEEP a billion dollars even if you never work for another dollar again in your lifetime. That's because of the power of compound interest through investing. Rowling doesn't NEED your money anymore, because her own money just keeps replicating itself.

- Her legacy is secure. In 50 years, people will look back at her transphobia the same way they look at Tolkien's racism and say "she was a product of her time." Her transphobic ideology will not age well because acceptance of transgender people is on the rise. But historically speaking, people might go gently on her because right now... she's sadly not alone in her transphobia. The arc of history is long, but it bends towards justice.

- Rich people will always have a disproportionate say in political policy until world governments put laws in place to mitigate their power. In the United States, that means overturning Citizens United (among other things). I'm sure the UK has a similar fight to get money out of politics, and you should look into it and get involved!

Why a boycott still matters:

- THE WORLD IS WATCHING. The arc of history doesn't just bed towards justice on its own. It gets BENT that way by people like you who are willing to make a fuss against discrimination and injustice. J.K. Rowling is such a famous, powerful person that I'm POSITIVE a lot of people who never even knew transgender people existed are being educated on trans rights by the outcry against her. You need to raise your voice every time she says something transphobic, to make sure her viewpoint is countered where the ignorant can see and learn.

- She's such a beloved figure for so many people, and has a reputation for teaching about love, friendship, acceptance, and being anti-bigotry. Her hypocrisy when it comes to trans rights is a startling contrast to this reputation. So boycotting her products now is a way of saying "It's not good enough to say you're against bigotry. You have to live that principle in every way, and be willing to learn and adjust over time."

- Again, this is a reeeeeeeally public fight. There are people out there who are creating content that is directly influenced by this fight! Boycotting a transphobic creator shows others who are less successful that there are consequences for transphobia, and they will learn and adjust accordingly.

Anyway, I hope that helps kiddo! I know the boycott is not for everyone (a friend has massive Harry Potter tattoos she's not covering up, for example). We ourselves wrote a couple of Harry Potter themed articles a few years ago, and we're leaving them up. Context is important, and we don't believe in sugarcoating our history. Some stuff doesn't age well, and sometimes we all make mistakes! But we're learning.

I think talking about this stuff, even in the vein of Your Fave Is Problematic can only be helpful. As painful as the boycott and discussion is right now, I'm optimistic about a more trans-inclusive future.