#because it cant go better
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It feels like I am wasting life, but I don't know what else am I supposed to do.
I feel… content where I am. Sure more money would be great, but with the amount of actual work I am doing it could have been worse. I am not seeking second job to fix it, I need lots of me time to not go crazy.
It's just that my every day goes the same. I don't hate it, but I grow wary that my life will just fly by as if I never actually lived it… But I can't come up with anything I would want to change or add.
I don't seek partner nor do I believe I can get along with anyone. So it stays in my dreams only.
I do not want children, I don't have enough patience and energy. I already have a pet to make me less lonely..
I don't like going outside, so no traveling or walks or cinema. I don't care for most material possessions, so no shopping.
My life feels dull and empty and monotone, yet there is nothing I would want to do to help with it. Nothing feels like something I would geniunely want.
All I have is my show obsessions when they come. That's all I spend my time on. Daydreaming, listening music, rewatching, reading fics, seeking art, discussing. I enjoy it. But that's all I have. All day, every day.
Am I this lazy to search for a way to help myself? Or am I just this passive. Something feels missing, but nothing actually fits to fill the hole. So I just keep existing like that.
I am at loss.
#but I am also scared of change#because it cant go better#so it wil be worse#I want to preserve my current for eternity#I dont know how I will be with my mom gone#we have rocky relationships but she is only constant in my life#I feel like a child#completely unequicked and utterly alone#I want time to stop#there will be nothing better than it is now#but worse things will come anyway#I hate living#I hate this fear and pain#none of it is worth it#people say that time after death and before birth are the same#maybe when you are in those moments#but I am here now I am alive#I did not have anything before#I will lose everything after#the experience to perceive from present makes difference
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So I had another idea come at me while making lunch (I'm starting to sense a pattern with myself, lmao)
What if when Jazz sends out letters to the colleges she wants to get into, she gets sent rejection letters from every single one... except the local community college. She's absolutely devastated about it. She thought that she did everything she could to be chosen. How could every single one reject her?
Danny, of course, hears about it and asks Tucker to check and see if something happened digitally. Surely, Technus or Vlad or someone messed with something to sabotage her. But when Tucker checks, there's absolutely nothing wrong. She still has her perfect grades and attendance record all set with no marks. Her community service hours are all there. It's only when he looks at the letters themselves that he finds the problem...
After looking online to see what the letters look like, he comes to a puzzling realization... the letters were fake. It's a good fake, but it's not the real thing. The signatures were off, and the writing had been changed.
This is what leads him down the rabbit hole.
He tries to ask about it online to ask others who've also been rejected. Except nobody is answering him.
Sam tries to call the numbers listed on the websites of the colleges... but the person who answers is strangely unknowledgeable about the college they represent.
The only college that seems normal about it was the nearby community college. And that somehow feels the least normal about everything.
It was only when he heard his mom complaining that they never heard from family anymore after they moved to Amity that he figured it out.
Containment. Nothing is leaving Amity. No emails, texts, letters, or posts online. Everything was being blocked.
Of course, this sends him on a mission as to why and how. He spends weeks on it. Sam and Danny actually began to become concerned for him. No, this isn't a pride thing, Sam. And yes, he is taking care of himself, Danny.
Technus is the one who gives him the answer. It was just a passing comment about how he needed to funnel through the GIW in order to infect the world. It didn't make sense to any of them because surely that's the last place you would want to do that. But then it dawned on Tucker. That's who has the power needed to do it! That's where he needed to look!
So he hacks into the GIW and is astonished by what he finds.
The anti ecto acts aren't real. There's no laws even acknowledging ghosts.
There's a file on Phantom, marked as 'candidate for X'.
And all he can find on the containment is a name he's seen described as the creator of the GIW and the main supplier of funds.
Amanda Waller.
#danny phantom#dp x dc#the GIW lives in my head rent free#but for real I keep thinking about it#what if it wasn't about science or hatred of ghosts#what if they are being ordered by Waller to take out a perceived threat#he has a broad skillset that she wants in the suicide squad#she knows that the justice league dont know about him yet and takes that to her advantage#but that also means she has to be subtle about it and cant let her side project become known#so she can't go into amity guns blazing hence the buffoonery of the GIW#Hopefully tucker hacking into them doesn't make her send out a better crew because she thinks someone on the outside did it#uh oh
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i LOVE how you draw twink krakoa charles he's so...... twink...... your art is amazing
thank you so much !!!! i have a simple vision in mind whenever i draw krakoa charles next to erik, really:
it's significant he looks like a push pin next to erik it's infinitely better this way..
#xmen#xmen comics#krakoa#cherik#professor x#magneto#charles xavier#erik lehnsherr#erik magnus lehnsherr#max eisenhardt#snap sketches#and by 'better' i mean funnier. if i cant look at charles and look at erik and go 'good christ thats a lad' i drew something wrong#the size difference is def a part of why drawing krakoa's fun i refuse to lie#like i do like drawing charles a bit. 'stockier' when it comes to tas- NOT A LOT just a lil- and other comic eras but this is Also good#its the drastic difference in shapes and silhouette ig#anyway ! tomorrows halloween thats diabolical because im gonna be busy all day but itll be fun :) <- ignore the back-to-back exams#PLUS I GET TO PLAY SHADOW GEN THAT NIGHT. i like shadow hi thats a very important fact about me#i ordered the special preorder box and it only got to my place tuesday and i only got time to go over there on weekends#gonna be the best hallloween ever ..... also i guess im getting sushi with my brother or whatever but anyways#later everyone ! please enjoy throwable charles while im gone
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(nature au) you said that while dale dislikes dev using a cane in the house he doesn’t really care too much, but what if dev used a cane in public? i can’t imagine dale would be okay with that at all. he’d be pissed, like confiscate the cane kind of pissed
Originally the gag here was just going to be Dev clinging onto his dads arm for dear life while he shivers like a chihuahua but he is just. So small.. I couldnt get it to look reasonable
Bonus:
#The horror of putting Dev in a situation where he would 100% be wearing his sunglasses#Like NOOO the perfectly construction expression of horror I was going to give him#fop nature au#fop#fairly oddparents#fop a new wish#fairly oddparents a new wish#fop dev#dev dimmadome#dale dimmadome#fop dale#fop peri#art#digital art#fanart#I cant tell if I got the tone right with this one#Theres a very careful balance I try to strike with comedy vs horror and Im not sure if I got it#I also try to keep a sort of balance when depicting characters that are just straight up awful#I dont like depicting characters as cartoonishly evil but I also dont want to make him seem overly sympathetic#or like he's 'deep down a good person' because he's straight up not#He's awful and selfish. What he's done to his son makes him deeply uncomfortable with himself#but that discomfort means absolutely nothing when he refuses to change or become a better person#and he does refuse to change. changing is hard#he still keeps hurting Dev at every turn and maybe to tries to justify it to himself as being for Devs own good#but regardless he is still refusing to listen to him and hurting him even more in the process#idk im rambling#I like to keep the abuse balanced out with these nothing little concessions on Dales part#tbh even this concession didnt come from the good of his heart he just wanted to avoid making a scene#also because the visual of Dale deciding CARRYING him everywhere is better than just letting him have his cane is very funny to me
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mister hot topic im a huge fan
#shadow the hedgehog#sonic movie 3#sonic the hedgehog#sonic x shadow generations#sonic fanart#its confusing because sonics not in the picture but im trying to tag the fandom#anyway if you saw me post a crappy first attempt at drawing shadow three days ago and then get embarrassed and delete i am sorry#i can now draw him a bit better thanks to staring at sonic content non stop for 72 hours#I didnt have strong feelings about sonic before but the movie got me going down the lore rabbithole and then#i cant even play any sonic games due to motion sickness#this drawing of him features my HCs for him like wearing maria's headband and having a holster for the emeralds#seriously where do they. store them
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Rule the World
It's my own design It's my own remorse Help me to decide Help me make the most of Freedom and of pleasure Nothing ever lasts forever
#myart#windydrawallday fanart#stitch together#shane acker's 9#9 movie#9 (2009)#stitchpunk#traditional doodle#digital coloring#... i cant believe this thing has TWO YEARS NOW???#cheeses... i wished to remake in and render it better but nevermind#just posting it as is because my creative juices come and go in waves#im so sorry ;w; someday ill do proper epic colored fanart ksjhdsjhf
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#idk im just curious because i oftne see posts that are like ''this song/artist can NOT go on this characters playlist#they would never listen to that''#and it confuses me a little because i thought character playlists were just songs that you like that you associate with the character#not necessarily stuff you think they would listen to. like with character playlists i just pick stuff with lyrics that describe them#regardless of whether they would actually like that song or not#when it comes to songs associated with ocs specifically though i tend to go for a mix of all 3 of these#but again. mostly vibes and story#Also what i mean by vibes is like maybe the style of music sounds like something that would be associated with them#but the lyrics dont really fit them all that much. does that make sense#i probably could have worded it better but oh well. cant edit polls
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confessions
#hankcon#detroit become human#my art#hank anderson#connor detroit#this can be read either way#i initially started this out while i was sad and i drew connor#i think that if connor were to confess first he would get rejected at the beginning by hank deflecting it awkwardly#but then i was okay while drawing and somehow it ended up kind of sweet if you look at it from another angle#so that hank is the one confessing here#but also connor is going absolutely rigid in a very soft way#i like that intepretation because you cant see connors face so you dont know what hes thinking aside from what you can take from his body#language#its either a happy piece or a sad piece if you want it so!#i like to think it gets awkward at first but then they make up later#they both have a lot to sort out about themselves! but they bring out the better in each other#and in my timeline they are intertwined enough that theyre inseperable#thats enough ramblings for now love and peace 🤞🤞
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Mizuki and Date though like. Imagine being 8 and your parents are filthy rich and going through a bad divorce. Your mom treats you like shit, lashing out at you, hitting you, saying she wishes you were never born all because you were behaving like a child. Your dad is more comforting, but he doesn’t do anything to stop the abuse and he spends his time invested in a completely different family, a girl who you love and look up to but he loves her more than you and it fucking shows. Then your dads new friend, some fucking bachelor in his late 20s, is just like "wow you guys are the worst fucking parents ive ever seen" and next thing you know your dad is sending you off to live with him. And it’s just a massive kick in the head cuz you go from a rich lifestyle to living in some really shitty tiny ass apartment with this guy who’s clearly never been around a child in his entire life and he doesn’t know how to behave and does a really bad job of censoring himself like he has a bunch of dirty magazines that he can’t hide very well cuz it’s literally a studio apartment and also he talks to himself sometimes, it’s really weird. He doesn’t even have the slightest clue what he’s doing
And he’s the best parent you’ve ever had
Because fuck, it all really hurts. You have to cope with having never received any love from anyone, and with the fact that your parents clearly don’t want you and can’t even be bothered to send you with anyone even kinda responsible. And this guy has a scary job with crazy hours and you don’t know anything about him and neither does he. But still, he never once hits you or tells you you’re not allowed to cry. He just gives you space and doesn’t push you to feel any sort of way about him. And sometimes, he’s even kind. He makes you some stew, even though it’s a bit chunky. He lets you sleep in the bed and takes the couch for himself, even though he complains about the massive back pain he’d never trade his spot for a second. He pays attention to events at your school and gives you your favorite stuffed animal when you make good grades, even though you called it ugly. He gets worried sick when you come home with bruises and puts on a goofy voice and trains you to defend yourself and you develop some highly deadly skills and even though it’s really abnormal, he buys you a bench press so you can get stronger. There’s this distance there, and you feel really weird caring about someone who you aren’t related to, but you find yourself wishing it was meant to be like this all along, that maybe, he’s secretly your real dad and he loves you like his real daughter
And when you say "I’m back" he says "welcome home"
#aitsf#ai the somnium files#kaname date#mizuki date#THE DATES THEY ARE MY EVERYTHING AAAAAAAAA#its so funny though like imagine being such a bad parent that some loner who jerks off all the time does a better job than you#and hes literally never interacted with children before and is later revealed to have actually been an assassin#renju and shoko really just suck huh#and i dont mean to reduce date to a porno loving loser cuz nah like hes actually got so much depth going on in this situation like he cant#remember a single thing about his past he has no frame of reference for what a family is or if hes ever had one himself#which we then learn he. kinda didnt he was an orphan with no friends no name no one who came looking for him it seems#yet he still finds himself loving and caring for this girl and would literally die over and over for her to live a happy life#hes so genuinely kind and caring and deeply lonely and unsure of himself if hes doing this right#and he feels agonizing pain when hes forced to remember that he isnt mizukis real dad and that. he has nothing#but despite that he doesnt force mizuki to return these feelings because its a lot to burden a child with and shes been through enough#its like. kaname date i love youuuu please just adopt her already 🥺
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No one and I mean NO ONE understands how much I think about this photo
#BC THE HEARTBREAK#THE PAIN THIS BOY HAS GONE THROUGH#HE IS FOURTEEN YEARS OLD#AND HE HAS GONE THROUGH SHIT WE CANT EVEN IMAGINE#AND HE LOST THE PERSON WHO KNEW HIM MOST IN THE ENTIRE WORLD#AND HE BECAME SO CONSUMED IN GRIEF AND DEPRESSION THAT ONLY A FINAL MESSAGE FROM JOHNNY COULD HELP HIM WORK TOWARDS GETTING BETTER#AND IM TIRED OF PEOPLE SAYING OH WELL THERE WAS NO ACTUALY RESOLUTION#CORRECT?? BECAUSE HIS GRIEF DOESNT MAGICALLY GO AWAY?? ITS WITH HIM FOREVER?? HE JUST LEARNS TO LIVE WITH IT??#IT ENDS WITH US KNOWING HE ISNT OKAY BUT HE WILL BE SOMEDAY#GOD ITS SO GOOD#I COULD TALK ABOUT THIS FOREVER#AND THIS SPECIFIC SCENE AND PHOTO#FOR HOURS#NO ONE UNDERSTANDS#AGHDHSH#the outsiders musical#the outsiders broadway#the outsiders#ponyboy curtis
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Every now and then (very rarely) troj has a lightbulb moment. Every now and then (also very rarely) i have a lightbulb moment.
Once a leap year or so, our lightbulb moments align and we will figure out something like making troj jump through my arms despite not having practiced anything beyond a sit/stay in the last 8 months
#i dont train much with them indoors bc i have to put sparty in another room#even though her stay is p good#because her presence (and treat-seeking laser eyes) will psyche troj out#she believes very strongly she could master any task given troj. faster and better than troj#and she is right#unfortunately for troj#but troj has matured a lot mentally and she LOVES it now. shes so keen and happy to try things these days#cant believe this is the dog that would go lay down in the bedroom in the dark if she didnt receive constant reinforcement
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MOUNTAIN GAZELLE VINYL STICKER - FOR CHARITY
The mountain gazelle (Gazella gazella) is the national animal of Palestine. I've designed a vinyl sticker inspired by it. All profits will be donated to the Palestine Children's Relief Fund.
Order form and further information here. Reblogs appreciated.
#palestine#PCRF#donations for palestine#gaza#im going this route because i am broke and dont have the funds to make a good direct donation#but i can draw and order stickers and address letters. and thus do my part in this way and hopefully have a better impact#what do you do when you cant do nothing but theres nothing you can do? you do what you can
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pouring one out for luo binghe in my disciple SQQ fic, poor guy has taken a backseat here. we're nearly 30k words deep and he hasn't even shown his face once. it'll be much longer before he even actually talks to Shen Qingqiu.
(i say im pouring one out but in reality im sitting in my director's chair chewing on a cigar and wearing a beret as he tearily and unsuccessfully pleads with me for more scenes with Shen Qingqiu)
#svsss#disciple shen yuan#scum villain#shen qingqiu#shen yuan#SQQ: building his found family on QJP and Plotting#LBH: idk off sniffing rocks somewhere while on one of his protagonist adventures#i say im pouring one out for him but in reality im laughing at him. sorry my guy you are just NOT my priority. be a better peak lord#tell your disciples to stop with the institutionalized peak hierarchy and the internal political intrigue and MAYBE we'll talk#oh he cant hear me he's wearing airpods. welp. *stares at LQG and YQY* more SQQ time for you then!#its funny because i do love bingqiu i just decided to write a fic exploring a roleswap concept i saw where LBH wasnt a good peak lord#and the concept itself didnt explore what consequences might occur if LBH was as inactive a PL as LQG was before redeeming him#like if BZP can go lord of the flies while unsupervised what happens if you leave QJP the same way?? political court intrigue and sabotage#being the protagonist and going on many adventures is great and all.... if you aren't tied down with the responsibilities of a peak lord.#binghe. binghe. binghe. binghe. your head disciple has instated a hierarchy on your peak and routinely sabotages the cultivation of the#junior disciples by actively disrupting their learning by sending them off to do menial chores that should be distributed equally across#the peak. binghe. he's gonna get someone killed. binghe. BINGHE. you're inadvertently creating a generation of cultivators who harbor#resentment against you specifically bc you failed to care and protect them as their shizun. BINGHE. DO YOU HEAR ME? BINGHE#oop. i guess not. SQQ time to organize a covert resistance group. i mean a secret study group that also doubles as an organization dedicate#to ruining Li Tao's reputation and standing amongst the rest of the sect. by boys! have fun storming the castle!#tldr unsweetened lemonade is: 'i force SQQ into a position of no power where keeping his head down is not an option bc neither the system#+ nor his surrounding peakmates will let him fade into the BG. and there's no LBH around for him to wifebeam into the Fave Disciple spot'#its also a 'SY and SJ are the same person' fic bc i love the trope and having a disciple SY where he's also SJ is such a specific niche#that i'll just have to write it myself in order to see it. im having a blast with it. im gonna give him SO much found family.#liushen and yueshen(? qijiu?) are fighting for 1st while poor bingqiu is trying to claw its way out of 3rd with minimal success#good fucking luck babe you gotta fight SQQ's seven evil disciples first. THEN you gotta fight Liu Qingge and Yue Qingyuan.#and then you gotta fight me. romance isnt even in the cards for this fic they're fighting for the SUBTEXT.#roll for disadvantge binghe
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I know for a fact I've talked about the golden records, but I don't care because here is a sample of some of my favourite greetings on those discs
There is something so vulnerable, precious, and human about sending up pieces of our hearts into space. Even when we know that there may not be anybody out there to hear us, we are still whispering to whomever might listen how much we love them, how much we want to connect. No matter how small the chance is, we're taking it to say that love is real, that we are real.
How is that not something to be in awe over?
#positivity#golden record#though it's been forty-seven years since launch both voyagers have just barely left our solar system#they are between 12-15 BILLION miles away from us#that's 20-24 BILLION kilometers away#i cant go to the club i need to cry uncontrollably about this#love is real#this is why i can never seriously consider apathy to be a poignant commentary about human nature#we never HAD to include this stuff - evidence of our love to completely inconceivable peoples#in fact if we learned anything from scifi maybe it would have been better for us not to say anything at all - to lead other life RIGHT TO US#but we couldn't shut up for five minutes to not say how much we love them and our planet and how enthusiastic we were that we MIGHT be found#we couldn't stop our hand from putting in *so much* effort for the 0.000000001% chance there's Something out there...#...for the chance that that 'something' will even be ABLE to retrieve AND understand our message of love#we absolutely need more golden records <3#to love something without even knowing anything about it .... there's nothing like that in the world#because i love whatever's out there. i think about them so often. i'll unironically pray for their health and safety#do they eat enough? do they look at the stars with wonder too? what's it like to breathe their air? do they know they're loved?
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the serve, and for a dental sticker at that.
#mother#sorry yall i cant find better quality#but that's okay because she's still showing us her degree in cvntology from the university of motherton#I've never seen this cgi (?) for her AND LIKE???? IT'S SO INSANE how dare they hide this and USE IT FOR A DENTAL STICKER#my dentist said she's gonna look for tf stickers specifically for me 😍😍 fingers crossed yall i hope she gets these#OMFG I AM ACTUALLY GOING INSANE OVER THIS STICKER DESIGN#LIKE SHE LOOKS SO FUCKING GOOD?!!?!?!? HOLY MOTHER#words cannot EXPRESS how i feel about this like HI!?!?!??!!?? HELLO 🤭🤭🤭🤭 she lools so good#that's not just a face card that's a whole face economy!!! that's cybertron's bank!!!!#elita one#transformers#elita 1#transformers one#tf one#tf one elita#Elita-1
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[I.D. Two drawings of Baxter Stockman from TMNT 2003. He wears a yellow v neck sweater and has orange glasses frames in both. In the first drawing he frowns with concentration, sticking out his tongue as he stares at a purple seed in his palm (the kind that Draxum uses to create vines) and gestures with his other hand. A small purple vine stems from the seed. In the second drawing, he moves his arm outward and the vine shoots up, curling over his head. He looks at it excitedly and says "Yes, yes!!" End I.D.]
I've decided, building on this post, after Stockman is told that manipulating vines is really hard and takes a super long time to learn that he decides to teach himself how to do it out of spite. Man is about 3 seconds away from losing control and sending that vine through his ceiling <3
#image described#tmnt 2003#2003 baxter stockman#tmnt 2k3#tmnt baxter stockman#teenage mutant ninja turtles#tmnt#scientists testing evil mutagens#stem au#tag ramble time: i cant figure out how to draw his actual canon glasses and make them look nice so i went with orange frames#idk i like giving him bright colors (and it fits better with the energy of the rise universe i feel like)#but also. they were so annoying to draw. because i accidentally drew them on the regular lineart layer#well i drew one pair on the wrong layer and then went 'screw it i'm just merging the glasses down' Bad Decision#cause when i had to recolor them to make sure they actually stood out against his skin i couldnt do my normal 'recolor the whole layer'#(hit protect alpha and fill tool the whole layer so it takes like 3 seconds)#no i had to go in and carefully reline them. it wasnt that long but it was way longer than it wouldve taken if i hadnt messed up my layers#anyway his glasses are awful and i hate them (affectionate) (they're fine they're just tricky to draw)#and that's my tag ramble ig hope you enjoyed if you actually read it for some reason lmao
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