#because in real life people's gender does in fact affect their lives

[eternal-flame]

So like... Has anyone else noticed that 99% of the time when an IF has gender-selectable romance options, it's always going to be a choice between male and female only? Is it that hard to code a third set of pronouns? Do cis writers think nobody wants to romance NB characters? What's going on here? (I don't know the answer to that question, but I find the trend to be really annoying.)

[piracytheorist]

I'm rewatching the Yor learning to cook episode and it's just SO fucking good you guys. Not only the episode itself but the way its storyline is presented.

I've seen people react to jokes about Yor's cooking with a "but she's getting better at it!" and while I understand that reaction, the thing is, she doesn't have to get better, and the narrative itself is perfectly fine with her being at best mediocre at cooking. Yor's bad cooking is used to explain her low confidence, but it makes perfect sense when you consider the misogyny in the era she grew up and lives in. But aside from one comment Anya made to deflect, and involuntary reactions to her food that they can't actually help, neither her nor Loid actually judge Yor for her cooking nor do they demand more from her. It's just accepted that Loid will cook as part of his share of the chores and no-one even spares a second thought about it. In fact, the main reason Yor worried about her skill is because she believed Loid spent an entire day in the bathroom because of the breakfast she made, so she wanted to learn better because she wanted to avoid giving them food poisoning.

Of course, this does tie in with her job, where she's trained to kill in cold blood, and with the world around her, who perceives women not only as less valuable than men but also defines them in strict patriarchal terms, one of which is that the wife cooks and she must do it well too. So even though her bad skills don't worry her too much about her worth, it's unavoidable that it will affect her and I think it's important that the story itself takes that into consideration.

And I just wanna point out how it's actually good that the narrative adds a humorous tone to just how bad her cooking is, because while it does make a reference that her low self confidence is because of the sexism she's faced in her life... the humor isn't sexist. Try and flip the genders here. A story of a straight couple (fake or real married) where the woman cooks well and the man is a horrid cook would make no-one bat an eyelash if it simply poked fun at how bad the man's cooking is. Again, without any comments about the character's worth based on his cooking, just that whenever he's in the kitchen, there's usually a bloodbath one way or another.

It's the same exact presentation with Yor! The narrative takes away gender roles and simply pokes fun at her bad cooking, in the same way stories poke fun at characters failing at any random skill. Like we have the word "himbo" as an affectionate term for a male character who's kind but very stupid but god forbid we love a kind female character who is equally incompetent in something. We only find it sexist because we were also conditioned to think that only women cook well and that it's a woman's responsibility to cook for her family and do it well and as we grew we rejected that expectation. The story actually subverts the sexism of that and it says "Yes this woman's cooking is absolute shit and we love her for that."

And it's all solidified with how the story resolves: Yor makes a good dish, and Loid and Anya praise her for it. But it's not in a "you get a good grade in wife" way, it's a "we appreciate this meal you made for us". Yor feels happy because her creation made them smile. She offered them something that they never demanded of her, and it made them feel good. It's about human connection, all over again, that someone's efforts to offer to their fellow human were rewarded with pride and gratitude. It's especially touching that the dish Yor made was something from her own childhood, something that brought warmth to her too.

It's also important to remember that another motivation in the whole thing is that Yor and Loid want the public to think their marriage is real and not worthy of gossip - which is why Yor mentions that she was worried about getting in trouble in regards to her assassin work; her reason to get into that deal in the first place was for cover for that work. The better and more conventional their presentation, the more solid their cover. That's why she mentions at the end that she feels more confident as the wife and mother of the family; it's the fact that she now has something to use for their cover. Say she's talking with someone and the conversation veers towards cooking. Before, if she was asked about her cooking, she would have to say she doesn't cook or her family hates her cooking, and she would worry about getting judged, like Swan judged her. Or she would have to lie, something we know she's not very good at. Now she can at least say "Oh they love my stew!" as the perfect answer because it's simple, clear and also true. So again there's definitely an element of her confidence being low due to the society's sexist worldview. But in this case it's also, and actually more, her worrying about being reported due to not fulfilling her "gender role" sufficiently.

(anime only fan here, don't spoil me for the manga)

[emaistome]

Alicent and her "liberation"

I wholeheartedly believe that to tell a feminist story, you have to at least tell a story that make sense, this is unfortunately not what Ryan Condal and his team did with Alicent Hightower, in season two of HOTD.

I kept defending them and their choices, until that last scene of season two, and although it breaks my heart that Alicent “sacrificed” Aegon, I have to admit that the things she said around it bother me a bit more.

Before anything, I want to point out that the patriarchy is not some fable, some story that they tell women to make them be submissive; it’s a setting that affects the lives of every living woman in the world (both the real world and asoif). It restricts the freedom of women, and put their very lives at stakes all the time. It manifests itself everywhere, so much that it’s easy to make people believe that “It’s just the order of things”. Sure, women can try to fight against these rules, like Rhaenyra (to a certain extent) who did not care about the prejudice against women and their sexuality, and vied for the throne despite having bastards. Or like Rhaenys, Visenya and Alyssane who despite all of their faults, did try to make the lives of women in the seven kingdoms better.

Alicent did believe that men were more fit to rule, while she thought that women were supposed to “guide them gently”. Although she believed that Rhaenyra should sit the Iron Throne, and she also tried to be named regent, so it’s inconsistent, but I digress. However, I don’t blame her for that. Alicent did not make these rules; these rules existed long before she was born, and that’s what she has been taught since she was a child. Alicent suffered a lot from them. In fact all her life, all she did was trying to make a better life for herself and her children under these rules. For the entire season one, Alicent was shown as the person who suffered more from gendered oppression in the show. Her reasoning for taking the throne was valid her actions were understandable and motivated by self preservation. If they Rhaenyra took it, she would need to kill all of Alicent’s children.

Somehow, season two episode height, had her apologizing for all the actions she made out of self-preservation. And you can smell that some 21st century writer was the mind behind her reasoning, but I’ll say more on that later.

Multiple people in charge of the show, talked about Alicent needing to be humbled. Why does she need to be humbled and apologize for her sins? While a man like Viserys, who cut his wife to take a child out of her and raped Alicent is glorified. They had her recite all the misogynistic criticism the general audience had against her, and apologize for it.

Alicent tried to be the perfect friend for Rhaenyra, more than she should have. For some reason people still find ways to blame her. She was groomed since she was 14 by Viserys and Otto; she is blamed for that, as if she had any agency in the situation.

Alicent should betray her family, disobey her father to protect Rhaenyra, do the opposite of what she was told since she was a child. And it would still not mean anything because neither her, nor Rhaenyra have power in the situation.

She was raped by Viserys as a 15/16 years old girl, again it must be her fault as a 15 years old girl, and she manipulated poor old Viserys who had no idea that he was grooming a young girl. And they always use the argument that it was fine at the time. The discourse around it resembles the discourse around Lolita when it was first published more than 50 years ago, and people still haven’t moved from blaming young girls for the actions of the men around them.

If they have a little bit of conscience, they will tell you that they feel bad for Alicent when she was a child, but not for the adult she became. But the adult is the direct result of the abuse that she suffered when she was a child. And again she fears that her children could be killed, a valid fear. Why would I blame her for doing what she could to save her family? Apparently Ryan Condal and Sara Heiss, think that she should apologize for that. “I lost my way; or rather it was taken away from me.” Implies that she realizes that getting married and having babies was never what she wanted, but something that was forced on her. But in the same scene (just like in the entire season), she praises Viserys even thought he was the main person who took her agency away from her. And I understand that victims can cope by idealizing their abusers, but viserys did not abuse only her, he abused her and her children, and clearly didn’t value her sacrifices. I think it came to that point where she didn’t even need a “liberation arc” to realize that, yet she still praises him.

Let’s talk about her plans to run away. This is where the writing started to feel the most like a 21st century pseudo-feminist was in charge of this writing and was more attached to the idea of Alicent being free, instead of real freedom. Alicent planned to runaway with her daughter and her granddaughter to “breathe the open air, and finally be free”, but she doesn’t plan any money? It’s as if they were trying to make her sound dumb because Aegon and Larys were also planning to runaway but somehow they knew they had money somewhere. But Alicent? Nothing. I’m actually not nitpicking. The patriarchy actively refuses to grant women power or money, so that they could stay bound to the men around them, to their family. And she doesn’t have any skill to survive when she “wanders in the wilderness” she was raised a highborn lady in a castle life in the wilderness, without any family to protect her would kill her and her autistic daughter and granddaughter. Women usually stay in abusive environments not only because they were brainwashed, but also because they feared that the world outside might be less kinder to them. It takes a minimum of logic to understand that the patriarchy can’t be kinder to a lowborn unknown woman than Alicent who sat in the royal small council, where only her and Rhaenyra sat as women in the seven kingdoms. She is still top two, of the most privileged women in Westeros, running away would not make her situation better.

We have a a history of women actually running away from Westeros and not being free from the patriarchy. Saerra was sold to a brothel, Jorah’s wife was some man’s concubine and Daenerys, had all her money being stolen and was sold as a child bride to Khal Drogo.

There is not a single way to make that scene work, it’s not feminist, as it realizes nothing but making one of the most intelligent characters appear very dumb. And I’d rather have Alicent be misogynistic and intelligent than having her be liberated and dumb. Women in real life can be misogynistic and perpetuate the system that made them suffer because that the only way they can survive. But also how can I blame her for her own oppression, how can I ask her to apologize for her actions as a victim.

[animeomegas]

Um I hope you don't mind me asking questions like this, but do do you think any of the naruto omegas play around with their primary genders at all? Like in bed or just in general? Like wearing womens clothes or using more female coded terms?

I don't mind you asking! But I do think there's kind of two questions here. The first being about kink, and the second being about genuine identity. Some characters fit in one, or both, or neither, but they're different.

For example, I think Shikamaru would wear women's clothing in bed, for sure. But it has nothing to do with genuine identity, in fact it's the opposite for him. I think he gets off on the fact that he's being 'forced' into becoming someone he isn't for his alpha. There's a bit of humiliation there, and that's what he likes. Someone like Lee is more than happy to dress in very feminine clothes if his alpha likes it because he enjoys feeling pretty. But I don't think it's something that affects his identity.

However, there are some characters that I've always imagined as having genuinely more flexible relationships to their primary gender, for sure. I don't know how much vocabulary there would be in Konoha for these omegas to articulate their feelings, or how much open discussion there is. So how much they each know about themselves consciously is up for debate.

It's also difficult to think about how much more complicated gender identity is in an a/b/o world with two intersecting categories. But, here are the ways I sometimes approach some of the Naruto omegas in my head.

I've always imagined Neji deciding to use he/they or maybe they/them if he lived a slightly different life, or perhaps once he gets older and understands himself better.

I think Haku prefers he/him for his pronouns (although I don't think he cares to correct people if they get it wrong), but prefers a lot of other gendered language to be feminine for him. His dress style is also decidedly feminine, at least by the standards I'd consider in my real life. A lot of what he'd wear might be standard for a male omega too.

Naruto has an interesting relationship with his primary gender in my opinion. I don't think he's ever considered that not everyone thinks about themselves in the way that he does. Gender fluid doesn't quite feel right for him, maybe bigender?

There are a few others, but to answer your question, yes! There are absolutely omegas who don't accept their primary gender exactly as it was given to them.

[lolita-ily]

You wanted a civilised dressed girl?

TW!!: traumadump, mommy/daddy issues, implied grooming, child on child SA, hypersexuality, abandonment, bullying, self shame and disgust and pretty heavy subject. I think that’s all so buckle your belt and join my wild world

⚠️‼️: None of that is romanticised, cute or whatever. This is serious trauma, so proceed with caution and respect. If you are here to criticize any of thoses situations, please do kindly leave. Thoses situations are very much real across the world, if you relate to any of that, my DMs are always open if you need to talk🫶🏼💕

“Civilised? Hah! Let me laugh, they’re all animals”

(Dont mind me, it’ll be mostly traumadump, abit of a vent oc for this au I guess? Also a response to ppl saying that OG kikita is sexualised while she isn’t at all, she’s just free. The “civilised” Kikita is the most hurt one, but they share same heart and soul. Dont blame her, shes just another child victim of society.)

So, in this AU, Kikita is “civilised”. She lived with her grandmother and 2 little brothers since her mom abandoned her. She was sent to a boarding school accross the world and she took the unlucky plane that crashed in.

PRE-ISLAND:

Her story is messy, tied with discoveries of her dad not being her biological dad, abandonment, mommy/daddy issues. She had to mature quickly to take care of her two little brothers but it only attracted miseries. She got groomed and lived child on child SA that lead her to hypersexuality and bad life choices. Nobody knows about that since she isn’t willing to tell anyone and is TERRIFIED of her grandmother finding out. She tried her best to be a regular teen and somehow success. She was good at school and had a wonderful social life beside the fact she was often sexualised because of her appearance even if she was young. For her education, her kind grandma sent her to a boarding school in another country. Sadly, she hoped on the wrong plane.

ON-ISLAND:

In a pretty dress and Mary Jane shoes, alone with a bunch of british boys and some girls(if ocs included), at first she’s relieved to be freed from the terrifying adults and allow herself to live her life but reality settles in harshly and she realizes that it will not be so simple. She immediately take the littluns under her wing, as she did for her brothers, maternal instinct kicking in. She sticks by Ralph, finding comfort in the democracy he showcase, her duty is fruit picking and looking after the littluns. Beside that, she REFUSES to bend down to gender norms, that’s how she earned a slap from Roger when she defied Jack. Noticing girls are left behind and forced to stupid roles, she does her hardest to not do the same. She quickly creates herself a social life, adapting to any persons around. She’s quickly labelled as “Allumeuse” and proundly showcase the title no she don’t, it hurts, is only my body pretty? Please love me. Beside the littluns, Piggy and Simon, she flirts with anyone and even got affections that way its the only way, the only one. Stuck in the same old cycle, she thinks people only love her for her body and grow extremely insecure inside but nobody sees it so she dedicates herself to fruitpicking and the littluns, hoping that the self-shame and disgust will go away. Simon was the only one she spoke to, so his death was devastating and she refused to speak for a few days. Eventually, SOMEONE* manipulates her into joining Jack Merridew, seeing that more than half of the littluns are here, she joins them. Her new job is war paint and still looking after littluns(even when Roger asked for a new paint with Piggy’s blood). When Ralph is chased, she stayed behind with the littluns and was rescued like everyone else.

POST-ISLAND:

She went back to her grandma and little brothers. Beside the Island trauma, Her life went back as usual with no much changes and she was eventually sent again to that boarding school. She will never forget what happened. Nothing else is known for now.

Some facts!!:

-She loves coca cola -She loves fashion -I’m thinking of giving her an Island crush where she would be desperate and would do almost anything to get his attention(that would be why she flirts around and also the person who convinced her to join the Merridingles. I also want to do an unrequired love thing and that the guy she likes is a actually a lil bitch)* -Anger issues goes brrrr -She imposed herself and managed to get some rules done. -She despises her mother and herself(physically, they are the same) -She can lie and manipulate unintentionally(bc mom) and then feel terrible about it. -Beside the “bad” parts, she’s just like og Kikita a sweet child at heart and very kind and like anyone else she just need a hug -Naive at love -Philophobiac(fear of love) -Afraid of Night and will never admit it -Was bullied(its the 50s and she’s coloured) at 6.

-When she was on her period, she left the camp for a few days and hid in the forest and came back only when she was ��clean” again -Terrified of boys and adults(but hide it) -Playgirl -Airhead, energitic, chaotic -𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 -somehow had her lipgloss on her, its her signature object

A LINE THAT WOULD DESCRIBE HER?

“I put cocaine in my lipgloss, so when he kisses me he thinks im God” -someone

dont come after me pls

please dont be mean to any of that, its very much real and I beg for some acceptance and respect, pls dont hurt me? Haha

byebyeeeeee

[bloodboilswithoutwater]

Welcome! The introductory post is amazing! Care to share some facts about the ROs?

Hello Anon, and thank you for being this blog’s very first ask! I appreciate the compliment -//v//-

In this IF, romance is less central to the game than in some other titles, so consider your numerous possible lover routes to be add-ons and unlocks for hidden endings rather than self contained paths. Platonic routes with each character also have unique effects.

But I know y’all probably wanna know some juicy details about the RO’s, and lemme tell you, the intricacies of being a vampire in this universe have created some serious drama. (More on that in another post if anyone’s interested)

Marcela:

Apologies to all those looking for an above-board romance, because Lady Marcela Rosales is…..

Married. With a child.

Duty demands sacrifice, and unfortunately, MC has arrived far too late to affect the inevitable conclusion. This is simply what it means to be a noblewoman.

That doesn’t mean she enjoys it, however. She lives within the ruthless restrictions of court life and the exacting standards of diplomacy. Her husband does not satisfy her. Even if neither of them are truly invested in their alleged romance, there’s appearances to keep up and alliances to uphold.

Basilio:

The commander once wore his heart on his sleeve. But after his wife ran out on him, leaving him with only their two young children, he’s only had his own principles to keep him afloat in this dark period of his life.

His work is intimately connected to death and loss. Vampires simply don’t die of old age, so if they do perish, there’s only two real causes: starvation or him. Though his kind nature hates to strike down vampires not unlike himself, he earnestly believes that he’s protecting his family and his people by doing so.

Carmen:

It isn’t uncommon to find them at the center of a party, wild and free as one of the few unattached nobles in vampiric society. It’s easy to lower your guard around such a person.

That’s why they make such an excellent Spymaster.

They love to play up their own cluelessness, weaponizing the incompetence that’s been expected of them as an ascended bastard child of the Espinosa Clan, and reclaiming their identity for themself. Of course, not many know enough about their job to appreciate it. But Carmen doesn’t need other people. Never has.

???:

They’re gender selectable.

[foursaints]

Can you talk some more about bartydora if you dont mind

i've touched on this briefly before, but barty is an interesting character to pair with others for me because of his role as essentially just an Unsolvable Equation.

like his identity formation was so stunted & abnormal that barty is just layers of masks all the way down. he's an mc escher staircase. but the way others react to that problem reveals a lot about themselves!! and it's compounded by the fact that the twins (an inventor, a surgeon) are both problem-solvers at their core.

before i get into it: i think pandora treats him like a human being. but despite how nice it is, deep down i dont think barty LIKES being treated as a person (💀). he's just so unused to it.

barty will always pick the way that evan treats him, as some type of sick other half, where he doesn't NEED to be a person because he can just be evan's missing puzzle-piece instead. barty wants the comfort of being able to define himself in relation to something else.

BUT ANYWAY.

i think pandora is more comfortable sitting with the irrational than her brother. to me the quibbler is evidence of this, but so are her experiments (P wants to create something new, E wants to take apart/optimize what already exists). so that's why i believe she's one of the few people in the world who's close to barty WITHOUT wanting to peel back his layers.

the fandom likes to make her a necromancer, and i think this ties nicely into my conception of her character as someone Deeply Steeped In Grey Areas And Uncertainties. she's concerned with the murky boundaries between life/death, between her identity/her brother's, between the real world/dreams. barty is a living grey area & the way he goes all blank when he's not putting up a front doesn't alarm her (yet she doesn't obsess over & crave & sink into his moments of vulnerability the way Evan might)

esentially: pandora is RARELY distinguishable from evan, but their small differences are highlighted specifically whenever she's around barty. by both accepting & ignoring the central Ambiguity of barty's personhood, she is basically the only person alive who can be normal about him.

i think they have little crushes on each other that come & go because of that relationship!! they feel like childhood friends. they have a weird ability to make each other feel like a regular boy and girl: he's a little sheepish around her, she giggles when he ties her shoelaces, he's putting her on the handlebars of his bicycle... there's a lightness to that relationship that doesn't exist anywhere else in their lives.

i generally believe that everyone in their friend group inevitably develops a crush on barty, and pandora isn't an exception— for her it's the dorky crush you get on your brother's best friend. he's tall & handsome & funny & charming & kind to her in a way he isn't kind to anyone else. for barty, i think there's something about the rosiers (the idea of these angelic, odd, fucked up little sheltered creatures) that just instantly does it for him no matter what. at least 40% of what he feels for evan extends to his sister, just in a more innocent way

but it's not REAL, if that makes sense? because barty is ugly and violent and complicated, and so is pandora!! neither of them are actually the boy/girl next door, even if that's what they are to each other ? and they both implicitly know that, so the crushes inevitably fade? but i think it's really beautiful that they even CAN be that for each other? which is why the crush is always there, simmering under the surface a little?

i think there's a gendered aspect to this as well. maybe this is sexist but i see barty as being a gentler version of himself around girls in general (i’m thinking of: his closeness w/ his mother, his closeness w/ winky & her insistence that he’s a sweet boy)... i think he’s one of those dudes with terminal daddy issues who grew up watching his father mistreat his mother and it really affects how he treats women. he’s more comfortable with girls and he gets a little softer around them... pandora has always gotten this softer version of him

[velvetvexations]

I'm not saying the real thing doesn't happen, maybe it does often — and I just haven't seen it much because most irl trans spaces I've been to were over mostly trans fems and they usually asked us about trans masc stuff when they didn't know — but I feel like there's a possible other side to the issue of "afab trans people using their agab against trans fems" which is that online at least trans masc experiences are way too often just assumed. Both cis and trans people who don't want to listen to us love to talk about which issues we do and do not face, how we did and did not grow up and how it did or did not affect us.

So that's how you get TERFs assuming that we must have been raised to believe that girls can't do things boys can and that's why we think we aren't girls and some trans people assuming the opposite, that we got to wear and do whatever we wanted and never had to experience misogyny because our masculinity was seen as superior and encouraged.

But if you make assumptions, you will upset people whose experiences you're misrepresenting and you may get pushback from said upset people.

I think we all know how hard it is to put the transmasc experience into words in a way that doesn't imply that female/male socialization is a real and universal, so I can imagine why someone who's upset might say some things in a way that could make trans fems feel attafked and invalidated in their femininity.

There are trans mascs who weren't allowed to do or wear anything masculine whatsoever as children, there are afab trans people who were beaten for wanting to do things boys do and forced to marry and have children young, there is still systemic misogyny that affect all trans people who happen to have been born with a uterus and vagina, girls and "girls" are still more likely to be paid less for the same work and less like to be encouraged to be good at sports or math, more likely to be murdered by romantic partners etc.

I can't blame random normie trans people just living their life for not knowing how to explain all of this in a way that couldn't possibly be interpreted as radfem rethoric implying "trans fems aren't oppressed/don't know what it's truly like to be born a girl" for example in an emotionally charged situation where maybe someone told them to shut up because they don't know what it's like to experience misogyny.

The solution imo is to keep working on developing trans theory to make it more inclusive so that we can find ways to express those ideas and spread awareness in less confrontantial ways. So much time & effort is spent just pushing back against transphobia, which don't get me wrong is important but I hope we get to a point where we (trans masc & other gender diverse ppl) can just talk about our experiences and have people listen and vice versa we would enjoy reading transfeminist theory a lot more if we could expect it to be inclusive or at least not to be making up falsehoods or generalizations about our lived experiences.

But I can see why disciplining people with an overtly transphobic 4chan insult is much much easier & satisfying for people who refuse to acknowledge their shortcomings.

Honestly, I love you, and I love this analysis, but I think you're being too kind. I think at some point some people have to just...be better. I know I say a lot I think a lot of transradfems are just genuinely awful people - certainly I refuse to be swayed the ones at the top are anything else, to say nothing of the explicit tankies - but even if someone has sympathetic reasons for their transandrophobia and exorsexism, it's like, okay, yeah, we should keep trying to do better at outreach, but at the same time it's absolutely on them to stop coping with trauma by hurting people and ignoring that that is in fact what they're doing. It's not on transmasculine and non-binary people to be their therapists.

And the lengths I've seen people go to, like this very ask, to try and be as patient as possible yet still get met with immediate dismissal and readings that sound like Christian moms explaining how the names of Pokemon are Satanic codewords just boggles the mind.

Like, if I were to say "I disagree" it isn't that I think people should stop trying to be nice, I do think we should be doing what you're saying we should be doing, but at the same time it's their responsibility and can only be forgiven up to a point. No matter what they may have gone through or still go through, they have a responsibility to their fellow human beings let alone trans people to be better.

I'm for sure also not trying to say you're implying otherwise, I don't believe you were saying we should totally let them off the hook and coddle them until they stop being bigoted, but I just feel very strongly about stressing that they have to fix their hearts.

But that's also why Velvet Nation is composed of so many better activists than me. At most what I can do is bite someone's head off and maybe make some people feel like they have a supporter that's passionate enough to get that angry on their behalf. I'm not nearly as constructive as yall and that's more important than me and my woe unto the wicked thing.

[utilitycaster]

To expand that point about queerphobia (also, to an extent, gender equality) from the tags on someone else's post and sort of tying it back to my post yesterday about wanting to see characters work through similar experiences: I think it makes a lot of sense in the case of Exandria and Hale to build a world that does not have queerphobia and to allow people to choose to insert it if that is something their table wishes to explore. It's very much a case of wanting to build a diverse but non-utopian world that is welcoming to a wide variety of players.

I think it's a very understandable urge to want to see characters deal with the same challenges we face, and I think there are TTRPG settings that have done a good job depicting homophobia or transphobia; it's present though not common in Fantasy High, and The Unsleeping City is very close to the modern-day real world and has, well, period-typical attitudes.

The reason I get frustrated when it comes up in discussion of Exandria, and now Hale is that it's almost always used for one of two reasons: explaining why people (either specifically or generally) don't like a character; or even more frequently, explaining hesitancy between two characters in a ship. It's a convenient way to say "this person is oppressed or afraid for reasons that are objectively in no way their fault and which make the people who dislike them objectively bigoted and wrong". The problem is, while that's a valid story to tell it's often really not the story the cast is telling with these characters. Even more frustratingly, it often is used to steamroll other stories that may place those characters in just as innocent a position.

Some good examples in which this has happened in the fandom are Jester and Dorian. Jester lives on the Menagerie Coast, which is referred to a pretty wide variety of materials as being a place that is especially trans friendly (in a world where trans and nb characters already frequently occupy prominent positions and are not depicted as experiencing pushback). Her mother, a courtesan, indicates that she takes clients of varying genders. The biggest influences on her life are her mother and an otherworldly fey entity who famously can shapeshift. There is absolutely no canonical evidence that Jester would be unaware of the broad range of genders and sexualities in the world nor that she would feel obligated to embrace one that she is not; in fact there is quite strong evidence to the contrary. But if you claim that she's experiencing compulsive heterosexuality, it excuses you from having to consider that Jester is genuinely not interested in Beau, or at the very least is genuinely interested in Fjord.

Similarly, it was, at least prior to the reveals of early Campaign 3, common to headcanon that Dorian had run away from his parents because he was trans and they were transphobic. A trans reading of Dorian is still obviously entirely valid, but he left because his parents were suffocating and overbearing and often pit him against his brother. Dorian is still absolutely the victim in this! It's a valuable thing to relate to for people who have experienced parental abuse and impossible expectations. But it does still force you to think about Dorian's parents as complex people who came to this conclusion of childrearing (even if they are still in the wrong) and not just mindless bigots to be disregarded. And I think the former is nearly always a better story than the latter.

What also frustrates me is that this rarely works through the ramifications. The systemic queerphobia that would be required to put compulsory heterosexuality in place still exists once someone overcomes that and comes out; but that never comes into play when people are talking about the ship, because it's only ever used to explain why the ship hasn't happened yet, never as a significant part of the world that would affect the characters throughout their entire lives.

These are only two examples; there are countless others, some particularly egregious (*cough* Essek comes from a society that explicitly believes in reincarnation across bodies of varying genders and the queen for eternal life is in a lesbian relationship, I promise you his fraught relationships with his parents are way more complicated than simple homophobia or transphobia) but all of which seek to incorporate bigotry not as the destructive and deadly phenomenon it is, to be explored in the safe space of fiction, but as an incredibly lazy shortcut to be discarded as a continuity error once it's served its purpose.

[laniusbignaturals]

Please more modern Edward!

I’ll assume this is the same person who asked for titplay headcanons, so this will be NSFT. There’s also violence and grotesque toxicity. Be wary of that.

Absolutely disgusting first one but whatever - his nose is huge, and he likes to bare knucklebox, so naturally it’s been dislocated several times. Often he will just snap the bone back into place with his knuckles. This sounds cool on paper, but it doesn’t do anything to alter the ridiculous, nasally, congested tone that develops in his voice every time he sustains this injury, so. Cringe!

Edward doesn’t have as many tattoos in this universe, but he does have a branding on his arm from his time spent in a fraternity in college. He used a frozen brand, because he’s scared of fire. (I know.)

Joshua would love to strangle him but his neck is really thick and Joshua’s hands aren’t that big, so he can never do it as effectively as he would like to. This frustration increases the thrill for both of them, tbh.

Edward likes short bitches because he is a short bitch because he looks bigger standing next to them and they’re often just as pissy, spiteful and tense as he is.

As I’ve referenced in the past, Edward has done coke, but he’s not as big of a speedfreak/accelerant lover as you might assume of a man like him. Edward, constitutionally, is hardly ever calm, content or relaxed. Alcohol might soothe that need for others, but Edward severely dislikes the way heavy drinking debilitates his control over himself, so he doesn’t do it unless he’s desperate. Other depressants, like Xanax, Oxy and Neuroleptics have been known to work well on him. But these trips bring him dangerously close to like, meaningfully doubting himself. So he doesn’t do them often, and always acts like he’s forgotten their contents completely once they’re over.

On that note: Edward forgets a lot of stuff. It’s his superpower. It’s cus he’s a gaslighter, it’s cus he grew up without a sense of objective truth, it’s cus he saw a lot of things that small children can’t comprehend and learned how to stop accepting reality on command to stave off an immediate breakdown. It just sort of comes naturally to him, so much so that he’s confident this is human nature. And he’s sure as shit not gonna let objective fact get in the way of that judgement anytime soon.

Edward worked enough Real Jobs that he could always live comfortably before solidifying a corrupt position of power. By the time he’s in his late 50s/early 60s, they’ve really stacked up. He’s been an editor, a foreman, a bail bondsmen, a landlord, a professor (for court mandated community service hours,) a chef, and pretty much every other profession that’s easier if you’re a complete jackass. The long term affect of this Jack-Of-All-Trades lifestyle is that he doesn’t have shared life experience with most other people. This helps him isolate himself more comfortably.

Joshua once watched Edward slice up someone’s throat with a pair of garden shears. Afterwards, they went out to eat and Edward got him to break some Mormon food rules. It was a cute date.

Joshua’s got a big family, and he was fond of most of them. Edward might have an extended family, but if he does, he is rejecting them like a bad limb transplant. He actively does not want to know if he’s got any living half siblings, aunts, uncles, grandparents, or cousins. He doesn’t even talk to his old high school friends. He will be an only child till the grave.

This is not an original thought, but he’s a beer guy. He’s that beer guy. The one who uses it as a part of his personality the way toxic white girls do iced coffee. Not only that it’s a weird sadomasochistic performance of gender, but also that he uses its purveyance and consumption as an expression of intimacy and camaraderie. Asking if you want a beer is Edward’s idea of affection.

Another thing Edward does for people he thinks he cares about is protect their ego. He will take your side when you’re obviously wrong and buy you a new blouse when you ruin yours and roll up all the windows in the car when you’re having a meltdown in the passenger seat. This behavior exists alongside intense possessiveness and sporadic cruelty because of course it does. Edward is sweet as antifreeze. The state of possession and the loss of autonomy is the only dynamic he believes to be worth maintaining, and even then, it’s more about the attempt than ever being fully successful. To receive his love is sickening.

Joshua has torn the buttons on Edward’s shirt to lick rivulets of wine off his breasts and pistol whipped him before jerking off on his bloody face and ashed cigarettes on him mid-fuck and called him every filthy degrading name in the book and Edward still identifies as the dominant between them. He is clinging to that pitcher’s mound like a ship in a storm.

He doesn’t believe in god, but there is room in his mind for hell. Deep down, he craves it. The grandiosity, the submission, the finality. Joshua likes this about him.

Have you ever broken into a house or apartment while the owner was at home? Edward has. It used to be for the purpose of stealing, but he didn’t give up the practice when he became economically stable. The truth is that he enjoys it. He enjoys busting in doors and breaking windows and hearing wives and daughters scream and making people feel scared & helpless in a place they thought was safe. This is such a brazen maladaptive recreation of his own trauma that he’ll sometimes find himself having uncomfortable emotions while doing it, so it’s an occasional occurrence. But still.

He had the most control over his body in his early and mid twenties, so during that era he had a quiet exhibition fetish. He’d get into bars, gyms, classrooms, bathhouses and libraries after hours with whoever he was fucking that month & get totally naked, savoring the fantasy of being seen and admired by dozens of eyes. His idea of beauty is an empty room. (No this doesn’t indicate anything about him what are you talking about.)

[stopaskinf]

“I think we can last forever.”

Things Ateez boys remind me of:

Summary: This is the part.2 of my series of “things kpop idols reminds me of”

Genre: Fluff, Ateez hyung line

Word count: 1K

CW: Honestly, there are a few suggestive lines in this, but other than that nothing much. (MDNI on my page in general)

A/N: This one is more casual than my BTS reminders. Honestly don’t know how I feel about this, but hope yall enjoy.🫡

Hongjoong:

🪲Scorpions: It might have to do with the fact that he is canonically a Scorpio, but also the contrasting idea that something so small can be so prickly and deadly when it wants to be. 

🪲To add to that thought: Hongjoong reminds me of bug lollipops. Specifically ones with scorpions, spiders, and beetles. Combining the sweet, childlike flavors and colors of lollipops with the primal fear and disgust people have of bugs screams Hongjoong to me. Maybe it's the deadliness transparent beneath the sugary outside.

🪲Smoke, specifically cigarette smoke. I’m not sure if he smokes in real life or not, but he always gives me the vibe that he smells of nicotine and Jean Paul Gaultier cologne. Imagine he takes a break during an interview and he just has a Marlboro between his fingers that he steps out as the staff calls him back to continue his captain duties. 

🪲Additionally, this is very specific but I feel like he has a tad minty smell to him. Even if he does or doesn’t smoke, I feel like he’s the type to always have gum on him. Type of guy who needs to be prepared for any situation and to calm his nerves.  He also may have an oral fixation

🪲 Chipped nail polish. I feel like he’s been seen with chipped nails before. However, I cannot remember. It’s pretty self-explanatory; his love of queer and androgynous figures combined with being an idol on top of his bad sense of self-care leads to chipped nails. 

Seonghwa: 

🐇Lofi beats: The aesthetic of his Lego building lives is this. Additionally, whenever I see him, I feel like he’s the type who needs something lowkey in a lot of moments. He needs something almost comforting after he finishes his work. 

🐇 Anime endings: The same reasoning applied to Lofi beats applies to this. A constant need for something more soft and sweet. Almost melancholy and quiet when compared to the bright energy of their openings. It’s something to signal that there’s no need to put in more energy because you’ve already completed what you needed to. 

🐇 Polaroids: Another thing that I’m pretty sure has been attached to either him or Ateez. I feel like Seonghwa if given the time, would be good at photography. Polaroid cameras would be his favorite because of their easy portability and the intimacy of it. He can just pull it out any moment and take a beautiful candid shot that he can keep hung up in his room. Something that he took himself and gets to keep. 

🐇 Valentino perfumes- this one is pretty simple. Valentino prides itself on their gender-neutral scents so it makes sense that Seong Hwa gets associated with it. Specifically, the Uomo born in Roma perfume reminds me of him. Genderless, sleek, and subtly powerful. 

🐇 Cute keychains - Seonghwa looks to love cute things. He’s also constantly on the move, so cute keychains seem up his alley. Something small from a lover that he can carry around as a sign of devotion and affection. Something superficially cute but to him holds a silent love story.

Yunho:

🌼 High school crushes - The type of guy you see in class once and you instantly get attracted. He’s tall, sweet, friendly. Everything you could want in a high school boyfriend. He’s a little awkward and uncoordinated, but the small things like walking you to and from your classes and sitting with you at lunch? Makes every flaw unnoticeable. 

🌼 Headphones - He seems like the type who likes to enclose himself. Specifically, with music. The ability to focus and lose himself within the melodies and lyrics refreshes him. Especially when he’s listening to a song that reminds him of his lover.

🌼Anime love interest - He feels like a shoujo ML. The guy who is desired by all, but had by only one. The tall, beautiful man who calmly introspects and throws himself into vulnerability. He is the type of guy who looks at you and says, “I like you way more than you think…” He has the type of love that feels pure, almost everlasting. 

🌼 That one ML manhwa sweater - Y’all know exactly what sweater I’m talking about. This connects to the anime love interest in that he feels too good to be true. The guy who you’ve always dreamed about, but thought was unrealistic. Additionally, whenever I see comfy sweaters, it always reminds me of him. He needs to wear something comfortable to keep himself cozy and soft. Oh, and to make sure you have something to borrow from him. 

🌼Old white sneakers - Yunho feels nostalgic. The type of person who gladly accepts change and challenges because he sees them as a sign of love. To be loved is to be changed. He’ll wear his scars and rough edges with pride, for you shaped him.

Yeosang:

🍄Green - This is mostly due to his crazy form hair and that one SCRUMPTIOUS bouncy shirt. However, it’s also because he reminds me of nature. He has an almost fairy/nymph-like quality. The beautiful face lures you deeper and deeper into the woods, only to trap you within its beautiful prison. You’re both moths to each other’s flame. 

🍄London blue - This color feels elegant, almost regal. It gives the feeling of something encased within time but also out of it. Something that feels freighting and mysterious when it encompasses a house, though that quality makes it even more alluring. 

🍄 Music boxes - Yeosang reminds me of very material but immaterial things. A small dancer frozen in time that only shows their beauty when called upon. Something delicate but sturdy. Beautiful, but skittish. 

🍄 Precious little moments - Another thing that is immaterial and a little silly. Something about those little porcelain figures with their big eyes and warm but stagnant smiles. It’s familiar, friendly, but immovable. 

🍄Faded scraps/scabs - This is different when compared to the rest. They’re little blemishes that tell long-ago stories. You fell on concrete when you were a child, you accidentally cut yourself with a knife, or you fell out of a tree. Moments that brought so much pain that it’s engraved onto you. Something that seemed so harrowing, but now you hardly notice. Unless someone else points it out, of course.

[2willowlane]

i'm running out of stuff to put here as a good filler. anyways, love harvey. yeah.

gender-neutral reader, sfw, established relationship

harvey was neither an early bird, nor a night owl. somehow finding a comfortable medium between the those two active hours, his scheduled called for him to allocate his time; rather, staying up late to finish reports, and waking up to then start the day anew again. falling victim to those habitual practices, the doctor always found the hours bleeding into the afternoon to be the most productive part of his day. either if it's because of the appointments booked during those times, or whenever the coffee starts to kick in; there was something he could just ever-so easily rely on to remind him of the fact that this was all real.

it may have just been a bit too simple and mundane at times for the brunette, but harvey still persevered. if he ever woke up, of which he normally does, before the farmer's 6 am schedule, he'd normally surprise them with a hearty breakfast and a sweet kiss. sometimes, he thinks that he doesn't need caffeine to help him get through his days; all he needs is to just grace your lips with his, and he's already smitten; in thought of you.

however, he didn't wake up in time to do any of that. searching around for his eyeglasses on the nearby nightstand, feeling for that familiar figure, he then puts them on; as he is blind as a bat without one (though, he'd argue that those creatures have impeccable vision--in contrary to his). on days like these, he'd try to move out of the covers, trying to not rouse you out of your sleep. you needed it, and plus, it was always ever-so endearing for him to see you so, so comfortable in bed. harvey didn't ever want you to think that all of your hard work has ever gone to waste, and even if you'd ever tend to daydream about what it'd be to live in another life, he'd fully understand--however, with his stay here on the farm, he'd need to think about it over again.

some people say that you'd always want what you never have, and that you should be careful for what you've wished for.

tossing his body to the side of the bed, he'd then sigh, as he was then lost in his thoughts again. a schedule helps stabilize his purpose, though, with harvey knowing how packed and busy one can be, maybe he can take it easy today. even if he was looking forward to surprising you today.

well, maybe later, then.

the doctor does tend to a small plotted garden out front, next to the farmhouse. even though your love does indulge in gardening every now and then, mainly just for his eye for seasonal decoration, he grew some of your favourite crops that were in-season for the fall. he isn't the most well-versed in the realm of cooking, although, he knows enough about certain dietary topics to be informed well. making sure that you'd get the most nutrients from the selection of either greens, fruits, or vegetables (or, a mishmash of either three together), he'd do his best to blend the flavours accordingly so.

if there was anything that he took any sense of immense pride in, other than his work, then it had to have been cooking for you. your husband wouldn't consider it a chore, rather, something he rather looks forward to every day! whilst he does like to take you out to the stardrop saloon every now and then, it filled his heart with such raw affection, seeing that look on your face (right before he smothers it with kisses. oh, how your laugh does a plethora of indescribable things to that man...).

once harvey sits up properly, he knew that you were out of the house already. with him adjusting to the light, albeit, the sleep inertia's getting to him, he checks to then see a written note; underneath a warm mug of coffee. it was funny how he didn't quite register the smell of one of his all-time favourite beverages (was he getting a cold? how ironic of him). moving the cup to the side, and then smirking at the endearing circular imprint it then left on the small letter, he then presented it to himself; reading it between his thumb and index.

it detailed about how you found him adorable in his sleep, of which made him feel flattered, and then talked about how equally as cute his gentle snores were. harvey mumbled a soft "oh, you didn't have to go that far...," under his breath, addressing no one, but still knowing that was the reaction you expected out of him.

when harvey finished then reading about how you had a busy day ahead of him, and how you'll make it up later, you signed it off with you saying you loved him; followed by your name, and little heart symbol marked with pen. flipping the note between his fingers to see if there was anything else, he wasn't met with anything much.

harvey could feel how his grin with digging into his face, as he then was about to get up; to at least change into other clothes, shave if he needed to, and get more comfortable. however, a certain family cat decided to go against what was on his agenda for the day--as it than began to settle between his legs; making itself comfortable. there wasn't much that could be done, if you had a kitty laying on you. deciding to then accept his fate, harvey gave in; giving the little devil its well-needed (wanted) affection and attention.

[sophieinwonderland]

I do think internet discourse really does tend to overshadow what's important.

For some, the most important issue in syscourse is that some endogenic systems use a word that happens to share an etymology with a word from an open religion, despite most people from that religion outside of syscourse circles not considering the use of this word offensive.

This is a strictly online issue that will never affect people offline in the slightest.

Meanwhile, we live in a pluralphobic society where all of us are forced to mask all the time. Being out as a system IRL often means risking the loss of your friends and family.

It also means risking your job and livelihood.

And while it's technically illegal to fire someone for mental illness, there are no legal protections for non-disordered systems.

On top of that, we have a healthcare system that erases plurals.

If you're a CDD system, you have to jump through tons of hoops to find specialists trained in treating DID and OSDD because most psychiatrists aren't educated in treating these disorders.

If you're a non-CDD system with other disorders you need treatment for, nobody is trained to help you. Nobody is trained to treat multiple people in one body, unless they're a CDD system. This means non-CDD systems will often have to hide their systemhood from their therapists. And those that do reveal it will face being misdiagnosed with disorders they don't have, whether a CDD or Schizophrenia or something else entirely.

Misinformation and a lack of awareness of plurality means young plurals will continue to grow up thinking voice hearing makes them "crazy."

Despite studies showing that most voices in schizophrenia don't come until adulthood, many people growing up with voices in their head will dismiss them and even antagonize them under the belief that they're "just hallucinations" or "not real." Previously friendly relationships with headmates can devolve because "imaginary friends" are supposed to be outgrown, and "hallucinations" are associated with psychosis and need to be ignored. Even after syscovery, scars from this damage may never be able to fully heal.

For CDD systems, this may progressively worsen dissociative barriers for years before the systems discover themselves. For non-CDD systems, this can lead to hosts shutting their headmates away or forcing them into dormancy.

Headmates can't even go by our actual names in public without facing discrimination. (Not to mention our genders, due to the fact that transphobia also extends to GNC-headmates.)

If your opinion on all of this pluralphobia that permeates through every level of society is that it's just meaningless internet drama that will never affect people in real life, you're not just anti-endo, you're anti-system.

You're a useful tool for a singlet-normative society to minimize and dismiss continued discrimination and oppression against systems.

You are not an ally to endogenic systems.

You are not an ally to traumagenic systems.

You are not an ally to mixed origin systems.

You're not an ally to any systems.

[scarlet--wiccan]

Re: queer shit in Agatha: how is it really (in your opinion, if it’s not too soon to say)? I saw Aubrey Plaza say it was going to be the queerest mcu project, and well. I don’t think anything has even come close to runaways, which still managed to fumble incredibly when it came to xavin. I think the mainline stuff is pretty pointedly un-queer. I still can’t wrap my head around making Phyla (and America) children, NTM both times someone said a thor movie would be knock your socks off gay only to be incredibly overwhelming at absolute best

Not that it would in anyway negate the hideous racism and antisemitism, but it would be just a little vindicating if it also ended up being homophobic and/or queerbait-y after listening to certain people insist they have to support it bc there’s no other media in the history of the world centering on queer witches (/s)

By definition, it's not queer baiting. There are definitely gay people and gay relationships in the show. Locke's character is gay and has a boyfriend, who will appear in an upcoming episode, and although it's not explicitly confirmed yet, it genuinely does seem that Agatha has romantic history with Plaza's character, Rio.

And not for nothing, but there are at least three gay/bi actors on the cast, and out of the six main characters, four of them are gay or bisexual in the source material. The whole bit about this being the "gayest Marvel project"* does feel kinda cringey and I know it's hard not to be cynical, but from a purely numbers perspective, I don't think it's untrue. I can't speak to the quality or context of that representation yet, but I think that's more of a writing problem than anything else--we're already halfway through the series, and I feel like I barely know anything about the characters or their backstories besides, randomly, Alice, who has the least amount of material in comics.

To be honest, I don't think that the show is going to go out of its way to explore, like, queer narratives or experiences. I think the intention was to simply have a lot of characters who happen to be gay, and I do think that's something Shaeffer, et al have been pretty clear about. However, it's obvious that they're trying to capitalize off of the buzz that this generates, and it is really hard to not feel cynical about that when Disney/Marvel have done this so many times in such a tokenizing fashion.

For the record, I know people like to draw parallels between the history and persecution of "witches" and LGBT people, but I find it disingenuous, or at least, not historically truthful. People get too caught up in the modern fantasies and feminist narratives about witchcraft-- which are rewarding in their own right-- to engage with the actual history of that word. In the process, I think they do a disservice to the real women and people of marginalized genders/orientations who may or may not have stewarded those practices, or been affected by that persecution-- which I'll remind you, typically had more to do with colonialism and abuse of power than actual faith or magic.

Those narratives are absolutely reflected in Marvel comics, and in fact, Agatha herself typifies this convention. But I think what's happening on the show is so flattened and reductive, that there's little room for nuance and interpolation. And it's a real shame, because when you have a cast of characters with preternaturally long lives, there is an opportunity to look at other time periods, and really breathe life into what it was like to be a marginalized woman at various points in history. But based on what we saw in Wanda/Vision-- the reductive display of colonial New England + rampant anti-Blackness, antisemitism, and anti-Romani racism-- I just don't have high hopes.

To me, that's what really chafes about the cast and crew's attempt to spin this "witches are queer" narrative. But I don't feel that I'm being baited on the literal presence of gay people, and there's no reason for anybody to have any illusions about that.

*in the quote you cited, Plaza and the interviewer do not use the word 'queer,' they use the word 'gay.' In this context, I don't really think it's that deep, but I wanted to take a moment to say that those words and identities are not interchangeable, and I think it's best practice to quote people accurately, especially when they're expressing gender or sexual identity.

[gencrittransvestite]

No, I am not being a troll

As my url states, I have autogynephilia and by common definition I am transfem/TIM, but I also support radical feminism generally and its stance on trans people specifically (I know that a lot of you consider "TERF" a slur, but I picked it as more open, because a lot of people here are trying to make radical feminism trans-inclusive by removing sex-based oppression from it).

Why do I believe in sex-based oppression?

Because it obviously exists and you can see it in how transmasculine people are treated

Because it's the only meaningful explanation of emergence of patriarchy

Because sex of trans people still affects our lives and everyone recognizes it

I went through a brief period of detransition because of severe doubts, and it made me realize that attempts at describing patriarchy as "gender-based oppression" fail to address cases of detransitioners

My stance on trans people

(This has gotten long, but TL/DR: sex and gender are different, and both are valid in different contexts)

I don't think that trans people are purposefully being predatory and inherently wicked, don't come at me with this thing.

I don't think that gender identity is innate the way sexuality is, I do believe that it's constructed, but I don't think that it's not real altogether. It's real the same way ethnicity or religion are - there is nothing in your brain that makes you Swede or Catholic, but this identity has meaning to people and affects their lives. And I don't mean masculinity/femininity by it, I have masculine female friends who I am not trying to trans, and GNC trans people are real.

Some people are trans because of life-long physical dysphoria, some because they detest social expectations, some internalize homophobic or sexist stereotypes, some do it because of AGP/AHE (which is not some dirty perversion), some have culturally-specific reasons, and much more. Obviously, different groups of trans people have different needs, and some of them wouldn't be trans in different societies or won't be in the futue, but they are trans now and that's something you can't dismiss.

However, one's gender identity doesn't erase your sex (though a lot of trans people tend to emphasize with people of their gender rather than sex), and doesn't make you entitled to be included in someone's sexuality. Sexuality is about body as much as it's about personality, and it's bodies that we have innate attraction to. Existence of trans people and especially medically transitioning ones does complicate categorization, because some people may be only attracted to men in daily lives but also wouldn't mind transmasc partner who is on T but didn't have SRS, some would dislike even fully operated partner because other features or even because of their AGAB (and it's fine), and some people may have no preference in bodies but strong preference in gender identity, and so on. But in the end of the day, for a lot of people it's either birth sex that matters or they are bisexual, and it's completely fine.

This attitude is especially gross when it comes to gay people, because on top of trans people simply not being attractive to them it provokes their trauma response.

Why do I call myself AGP?

This is complicated and some of it is just for edginess.

But also I recognize that my physical dysphoria is pretty insignificant and incomplete, and I can't even prove that it won't go away. That's why I decided to not transition.

When I say AGP I mean that I feel a thrill when I think of myself as a girl etc. I don't get hard from it and don't enjoy being degraded for femininity, as transphobic caricatures say, but I think that foundation of my AGP is at least partially in attraction to women.

It also highlights the fact that I am probably not a "true transsexual" or otherwise absolutely inborn woman, and I accept it. Whatever.

Some additional information:

My chosen name is Belle

This blog exists as my attempt to build bridges from transfem side (transmascs both do it themselves and some cis women reach out to them) and to provide insights both about lives of transfems and views of radical feminists to anyone who asks

I am into women, but I don't call myself a lesbian because it feels like too much of an intrusion. I won't describe my sexuality further here, but asks are open

DNI: misogynists, homophobes, racists (including antisemites and zionists)

If you feel uncomfortable about me - just block me, I won't feel bad

I admit being male, but I still dislike it. It's always fine to point how being socialized as a boy or being perceived as male changes my social life, and I recognize sexual dimorphism in reasonable (i.e. real) terms, but I would like you to not go out of your way to trigger my dysphoria. Thank you

[genderqueerpositivity]

my friend it seems desolate when you hear bad news like desantis's idea but a pharmacist can't refuse to fill a prescription from a doctor? that's super not allowed. and roe v wade being overturned is terrible but prescribing hormones for adults is a different story--especially in cases where someone already has a prescription, it's hard to take that away. there was a bill passed recently in my state preventing minors from getting any medical gender affirming care but even then there was a caveat excluding people who were already prescribed hormones

I don't know why you thought this was a helpful response to my very valid fears, but this comes across as condescending.

I don't live in Florida; Florida isn't the only state in this country where it sucks to exist while trans. And I do know my state laws.

In fact, any pharmacist or pharmacy in the state of South Carolina can refuse to fill my valid testosterone prescription based upon their personal beliefs at any time, and there isn't a thing I can do about it; and this is super allowed, because it is in fact, the law and has been so for over a year.

Actually, I can be refused "nonemergency" care based on a medical providers "conscience" at any time; it's fully legal, and they are protected by state law and so can't be reprimanded or terminated for it.

And this does not only apply to gender affirming care--it applies to abortion care, birth control, STI prevention/treatment, sterilization, insurance coverage of procedures from companies based within the state, etc. I speak of Roe and gender affirming care together often because they both affect my life and health, and the legal battles genuinely are connected.

Not only do I know of transmasc people locally who have struggled to find pharmacies where they can pick up their prescriptions, I also know of people who've been refused birth control prescriptions. I know one person who was refused a tubal ligation after giving birth. I know of at least one instance where a pediatrician refused to accept a child as a patient because the child has two moms.

Anyway, your state isn't the same as every state and my concerns are absolutely real even if they aren't the same as the ones you face.