#because if i get extremely bullied here. i can just go somewhere else

[unopenablebox]

i'm so beautiful and interesting

[bloop-bl00p]

In defense of Octavia

TW: Lots of Trauma Dumping, Mention of abuse

She’s been wronged way too many times in this fandom for some reason. Look at her vibing, how can you hate her?

I’m a fan of Helluva Boss, mainly because of its potential but the quality dropped dead in the second season. We’re gonna talk about a character I’ve seen other fans misinterpreting in favor of the so-great Prince Stolass.

I want to talk about her mainly because I do what I want and because after studying her character I just realized that she’s just like me. Especially regarding her relationship with her father, I see myself in my younger years.

All of that to say…

She has all the right to feel abandoned.

Octavia obliviously has a stronger bond with her father, it shows in her behavior and little background details

When she wants to draw her family, she draws her and Stolas, we mostly see her being happy with him which leads me to think that she’s emotionally neglected by Stella. To her, Octavia is just an ‘egg’ that fell off her and she doesn't care about the impact killing Stolas could have on her daughter.

Despite being emotionally absent, Stella has a much more physical presence than Stolas. Most of the time Stolas is alone in his castle which leads me to think that Octavia is somewhere else with Stella. They did mention the two went on a weekend somewhere. This leads us to this question…

How can Octavia feel more close to her father?

Here’s the thing, I see a lot of my family dynamic here. My mom doesn’t pay attention to me at all, she doesn't want me to bother her and she makes it clear. My dad, however, who’s absent like 90% of the time, always tried to spare time with me. He explained to me that he was working and why he was doing all of this (I was like barely ten) but it never prevented him from trying to play with me, sharing his hobbies, going on a walk, and else.

He was there emotionally and, as a kid who was bullied, had no friends at all, and a mother who didn't give a damn, I cherished this relationship.

I believe the exact same thing happened with Octavia, we never see her with friends or even outside the castle, she’s isolated. Stolas has Prince duties, we’ve seen him carry them in the shows, hence why he’s mostly absent leaving her with her mother. But, at least when she was a kid, he tried to do stuff bringing her to Loo-Loo Land or being the one to comfort her. That is why she clings to her father, he’s the only one who actually shows her love and she’s terrified of losing that.

Regarding her mother, Stella obliviously doesn't care about her so the feeling is reciprocated. From a narrative standpoint, Stella is an unpredictable force of nature getting angry for pretty much anything that doesn't go her way. So Octativa learned to not cross her mother's path.

I know this expression, this is the “Oh fuck… they’re at it again?” she’s used to her mother's constant screaming, she's used to her parents fighting.

She did say they were a time when a parent didn't hate each other, which to me refers to the time when Stolas tanked Stella’s abuse. But, that doesn’t mean that Stella wasn't abusing him in front of a younger Octavia, she’s erratic and they did imply that she can get physical in her toxic behavior. Since Stella was passive, it was probably mostly harmful comments.

Putting personal things here, my mom was also very abusive to my older sibling. Since I was extremely young I learned not to ‘be a burden’ to avoid being abused as well, which includes things like not talking to her unless she does it first. Whether Octavia is aware of the physical abuse or not, she must know enough to know that it’s a bad idea to annoy Stella.

This is the only picture where we see her seemingly having a good relationship with Stolas, which to me feels like she’s faking it considering all we know about the family.

She has a pretty shitty household but her relationship with her father make it bearable until Stolas did a 180°

He randomly started to prioritize Blitz and don’t spill me the bullshit of ‘he’s trying’ he stopped trying long ago.

Let’s analyze this episode by episode:

In Loo Loo Land, Stolas seemingly tries to rebuild a visibly strained relationship with his daughter by bringing her to a park she liked when she was a kid. To this, she immediately responds with an “I’m not 5 anymore.” and an “I rather kill myself.” There’s no room for miscommunication, she doesn't want to go there, and she won’t enjoy it as much as she did back then. Still, he decides to go there, showing that he doesn't listen, and, he brings the one the thing that is currently ruining his already horrible marriage because of his own actions. Blitzø.

He’s trying to spend time with his daughter after a long time (this is mentioned in the episode) and he decides to bring in that one guy he’s hooking up with to deliberately make sexual remarks about him in front of her.

She’s uncomfortable the whole time, not just because she allegedly doesn’t like listening to her father's comments but because she doesn't like the park. She said it, yet Stolas doesn't acknowledge it, he doesn't realize the faces she makes which are to me pretty communicative of her annoyance and discomfort.

This is not even subtle body language, yet he only notices it when she runs off. The worst part is that he still finds a way to think about Blitzø when his daughter leaves.

He looked upset that Blitzø didn't follow him! Did he expect that guy to pursue him constantly? He was in the middle of an argument with his daughter, I personally would have stepped away to give them space to talk and reconcile. But no, apparently Blitzø should be at his beck and call all the time.

But you know what, after all of this. He still apologized. That absolutely does not negate everything he did during the day but, at the end of it, he finally listened to her and even brought her to a place she actually wanted to be. Which is good, he acknowledged her discomfort and did something she liked.

Until Seeing Star.

Look I know Stolas was busy with Stella but he clearly doesn't care about her and her stuff.

Don’t tell me he couldn’t pinpoint Stella’s location with magic and teleport all of her belongings to her. Their discussion was barely about the furniture, he could have said that they were gonna be delivered and hung up the second he saw Octavia. Arguing with Stella is pointless, he’s the number one guy that should know that! Why does he continue to insult her, he’s just fuelling the fire!

Moving out her belongings would have been 10 times faster if he just hung up the phone, then he could have had a more mindful talk with Octavia without the constant bickering of his ex-wife.

But he didn't for some reason, fair enough, I guess. The writers do whatever they want. Anyway, Octavia got angry and ran to go see the stars on her own.

So, Stolas’ castle is in Pride but my point still stands, Octavia had the time to run from home and make the way all from her father's place to the city, find the specific building Blitzø held his organization in and Stolas didn't notice a thing.

You cannot tell me Stella managed to get his attention for that long AND you cannot tell me that his castle is close to the shitty disaffected building and the populace. His daughter ran off and he did not notice a thing.

Not only that but he has the nerve of blaming Blitzø for not watching the book. Like, dude! You should have watched your daughter instead!

Then he spills out more bullshit.

I don’t know Stolas, how could you possibly find her when you were shown to have countless abilities to do so?

Like bubbles projecting the image and locations of people.

Or that on time when you possessed corpses and one woman just to go full eldritch monstrosity just for one that one guy you’re cheating your wife with. And don’t whine about “They don’t love each other.” it’s still affecting his family, mainly his daughter so it’s still bad.

Of course, you do all of that without your grimoire without any problem, brushing it off with a…

I guess he forgot his ‘ways’ when it came to Octavia. But honestly, Loona literally found her easily just by looking at her Instagram account, couldn't he just call her or something? The girl had her phone the whole time and he didn't just think of calling her.

Me when I forget that I have teleportation power when I am in an enclosed space with nobody is looking.

You’re certainly not worrying right now. Via literally told him to his face that she was scared and he kept flirting with him even though he once again caused her to run away because of his neglect.

He’s not trying his best, THIS IS NOT TRYING!

No Loona, his daughter communicated very clearly issues related to their relationship, rather than reassuring her and being there for her as much as it’s realistically possible (he still has duties to carry), he gets in an avoidable petty fight with his ex and keeps an unhealthy dynamics with an imp he's been obsessing over. He doesn't focus, his priorities aren’t straight, and now Octavia feels abandoned.

I did mention that I had a good relationship with my father back then, but it stopped abruptly. His focus changed and he went out with friends after work and gradually stopped spending time with me. Until we never spent time together again, (to give you an idea the only moment where I could see him was in the morning for breakfast) now that can sound silly but I was a child, with no friends and a neglectful mom, losing the only good thing I had in life broke me. I knew his schedule, I knew he was spending time with work buddies and that just stung my self-esteem even more leaving me feeling like a burden when I was just a kid who wanted to feel love.

This is why I don’t like the “He’s trying.” I know what a trying struggling parent looks like and I know what happens when they stop. If you keep trying to do something and you’re constantly failing, either your technique isn’t the right one or you’re not and you’re convincing yourself you are.

And then there are people that’ll tell me that “He lived through the abuse of Stella for years for her.”

If you read all of this then I don’t feel like I need to explain how Octavia was at least partially exposed to Stella's toxic behavior and was affected by it.

For those who don’t know how it feels to live with an erratic mood-swinging person, it’s pure constant stress. You have to think constantly before you talk or move because you know that if you fuck up you’re gonna pay the price. And if you still eventually mess up you can never know with these types of people! You can’t defend yourself because the punishment will be far worse. You are ALWAYS in the wrong.

So he lived through the abuse of Stella just so his daughter could get neglected and abused in a less physical way?

The difference between my parents and Octavia is that they love each other. Stolas doesn't give a damn about Stella, he did say he was nice at first because he empathized with her they were in this shitty situation together, and fine, it's reasonable. But she never changed! Stella stayed the same! Why didn’t he leave her when he stopped carrying about her?! There’s no trauma bounding, Stella isn’t guilt-tripping or manipulating him, they got the child he could have divorced her easily without consequences! If anything, she’s the losing part of this divorce she’s lower in the hierarchy! “Andreaphul will get angry.” HE’S A MARQUIS! Hierarchically speaking Stolas is far more important and he mopes the floor with his peacock ass!

Am I supposed to be empathetic with that one dude who willingly let his daughter grow up in a hyper-toxic environment with an emotionally neglectful and unpredictable wife?! Am I supposed to believe he cares when he kept sleeping in his house in his bed with the same guy his daughter clearly is worried he’s going to leave her with?! Really?!

Don’t ever tell me that this is trying.

[wondercourse]

Not that my "syscourse is a flat circle" theory was ever incorrect. It's completely cyclical and is constantly the same shit in different flavors as new people rehash arguments that everyone else thought were already over.

But also the fact that we've circled back to "Was This Type Of Trauma Enough"course in particular is really fucking annoying. "Well actually emotional neglect alone can't cause enough trauma for DID" "Well actually bullying alone can't cause enough trauma for DID" shut the fuck up?? Shut the fuck up. Fuck's sake.

If you want researched facts that have been peer reviewed by people actually in the field and aren't based on a random Tumblr user's opinion, check SAS's recent posts on this because the folks there are way better at gathering research than I am. I'll just give a logical approach instead. Follow me here.

Not all trauma will cause (C-)PTSD. Yes, this even includes "real" trauma that "actual" survivors experience (i.e., sexual and physical abuse; air quotes because all trauma is real trauma and all survivors are actual survivors, don't even start with me because my patience is extremely thin right now). This is a pretty well-known fact. Already shows that the impact is relative. Shocker. Let's keep following the line, though.

By extension, not all "real" trauma that "actual" trauma survivors (again, air quotes because all trauma is real trauma and all survivors are actual survivors) experience will cause DID, yes, even if it's chronic. Still with me? Cool.

On the flip side, things that seem relatively minor can be extremely traumatic for someone and therefore cause (C-)PTSD. Emotional abuse, emotional neglect, physical neglect, bullying, medical trauma, etc. (even implying for the sake of argument that these are "lesser" kinds of trauma genuinely makes me ill, I hate y'all for this) can, as it turns out, fuck you up! Like, a lot worse than some of y'all think!!

So far, the pattern has been a metaphorical "circle-triangle-circle..." situation. So the logical next step is triangle. Wait. Except triangle says...

Therefore, "lesser" (EXTREMELY HEAVY AIR QUOTES) traumas can also cause DID! Wow!

Now, again, this is just me following a logic line and going "This is just what makes sense, and while this can be wrong and take a sharp left, that's not what the research says". Under most circumstances I'm down for being wrong, and hell, if the research somehow makes a drastic change while I'm still doing syscourse (which god. let me out), then I'll say "Yeah okay fair enough". But right now, the research aligns with this line of logic. So. Lol.

Like where is this mythical "Your trauma had to fall into the Bad Enough" box of specific trauma types. Show me. Point it out to me somewhere where it hasn't already been debunked. I will sit here and I will fucking wait, because my therapist never informed me of this and she's a hell of a lot more knowledgeable than most of you.

Piss off with your fakeclaiming bullshit. Let this die. It's giving "Actually PTSD can only be experienced by soldiers" which I thought we moved past by accepting that it can be induced in anyone. But I guess it's okay when you start treating trauma disorders like an exclusive fucking club that you can only get into if you suffered "enough". Fuck that.

Trauma is relative. How fucking hard is this concept? "Well, I suffered more than them so why do they have the same thing as me?" Because two people can experience the exact same thing and have two completely different results. This isn't even just like a PTSD thing this is literally what fucking LIFE is. Don't be a dick.

Finally, fellow systems who formed primarily or exclusively through any type apparently "lesser" chronically traumatic events—abuse or otherwise—take a break. Don't be like me tbh; don't even engage with this kind of "discourse". Work through your shit. Your trauma is not "less" because it wasn't primarily physical or sexual in nature because trauma is the IMPACT, not the EVENT. I see you.

[wetcatspellcaster]

Did you see Neil Newbon’s take that Ascended Astarion is the real him free to act on cruelty and violence and the spawn is the one with the mask? Yeesh.

Ooooooh, THAT'S the disk horse that's happening right now!! I knew something was happening (I felt a tremor in the waters) but I had no clue what it was lmao, I don't follow cast stuff.

I will try to respond to this in good faith, but I'm not very good at fandom discourse and so I'm afraid it may not be the answer you want.

I can see why that reading might make people angry, but I dont have strong feelings about it. Obviously, it's not my take on Ascension, but from the beginning I've been very upfront that my take is serving the genre I'm writing in and the ship dynamics I find hot. My Tav is lawful good to an unhealthy extreme, and that was how she was conceived in her Early Access bullying phase. And meanwhile, I wanted to be in a Gothic horror where he's obsessed (morality chains will do that to you) and they beat the shit out of each other. I have to make the Ascendent a monster, for that to work, and for people not to feel guilty every time they enjoy watching him getting stepped on lmao.

But I do feel like there is a morality policing around Astarion's ending that I don't want to partake in. This might seem dumb for me to say, given that my Tav is a veritavle walking moral policeman, but that is bc I fucking love Villain/Heroine ships, so I am literally right there, at the Devil's Sacrament with everyone else.

While I like the good ending and prefer it for many reasons, I would agree with a reading of Newbon's words that it could be read as a mask. This might be bc I mask with the best of them, am doing it right now even as I write and edit this ask 20 times. There's masking as an outright lie, and then there's masking as 'gotta get through day to day life as a functional adult without everyone suddenly deciding they hate me'... I personally think its nice that spawn!Astarion cares about other people, and cares about being a functional member of society at all! It shows he's no longer a lonely outcast.

I could also go deeper (the autism really shining through in this reply) and say it's a mask, in the sense that this has been deemed the 'polite' and morally correct ending, that is acceptable to others and enables the player to feel good about themselves. Which is often a way we derive pleasure from media, and not wrong in and of itself! Making Astarion good makes players feel good - that's not wrong, but if we're comparing endings, we have to acknowledge it. An Ascended Ending doesn't really cater to that impulse... unless the player really likes to be dommed (more power to them).

Unfortunately anon, I can't sit here with my most popular fic being an Ascended!Astarion fic, and pretend that there isn't a bunch of fascination or interest surrounding the Ascended version of his character. People clearly want to explore the implications of his evil ending and indulge in the excess of it, but feel bad doing so. People don't ascend him in-game, but they go to my fic and other people's fic because they want to have some space to enjoy the implications - in the sexiness, in the timeline where Astarion has revenge, in a timeline where he is obsessed with Tav etc. I mean, just look at me, I can't sit through the Ascended scene, but I'm here writing a fic about it!!

The fact that it seems to happen more in fic than in playthroughs tells me, if I was to get super deep in a tumblr ask, that people feel guilt about it. Some kind of mask is being employed, by someone, somewhere, in that mix. So I'm not about to add to any of that kind of policing. It would be pretty disingenuous of me to get my most feedback from an Ascendent fic I am writing, and then judge people for liking Ascendency narratives...

So while I don't have much interest in pretending the evil ending isn't the evil ending, that doesn't sound to me (second hand, through you, with my brain seeing 7 or 8 different implications) to be what Newbon is saying. He's just saying that the Ascendent is the less palatable Astarion to other people and that spawn!Astarion still has some kind of mask or a politeness filter on. Which... yeah. Kinda. In my world, I like that Astarion decides its worthwhile to restrain himself, because he has things to care about potentially ruining. But that's still in many ways employing restraint. People don't just stop masking, they learn to care about what others think in a healthy way. They have friendships, relationships, other ties to the world, that make them want to be something other than a cruel or violent or evil version of themselves. I think that's nice, and far less lonely but um... yeah. I can see Newbon's point, even if I don't want to like, live or die by it.

[autistichalsin]

I'm probably making a mistake by being vulnerable here, but...

This has been a really hard year for me.

In the last year my grandpa died, a relative committed suicide, I lost a friend to cancer, I've been struggling in grad school, I've had money issues so bad I was counting pennies to buy food for a while, my mom has been getting worse about using me for emotional labor and taking her chronic pain out on me when she gets upset, my anxiety has been bad again, my mom might have blood cancer but she can't even afford to get the blood test that tells her if she has it and they won't run the test until she can produce cash, I've had to listen to my older brother go deeper down the alt-right pipeline while my younger brother and i are queer, I was made to visit my sister (my abuser) in spring which was extremely triggering and I'm still kind of activated from it, I'm having to plan a cross country move and I'm so stressed I haven't even started packing yet even though I have to be there by January, and just…

I really wanted this fandom to be different. I wanted it to be a fun and positive thing that would let me forget all of that. This game came to me at a really hard point in my life.

And this drama took that from me. Probably not permanently. I know most of my mutuals are still here, still happy and excited to talk about Halsin, but quite a few took the other side of the debacle and that really hurts. And some of the things said to me and my friends were deeply triggering for my trauma. Hearing rape wished on someone I like when I know all too well the pain of sexual abuse was deeply painful in ways I don't want to describe in public. I know I'll get mocked for using the terms, I don't care- it was triggering, it was re-traumatizing.

So I'm holding onto these feelings I have, trying to decide what to do with it. The answer i think most will say is to come back and post anyway in spite of "the haters", and that's what I think I want to do, but now there's this fear every time I post that someone, somewhere, is looking to pick apart everything I say looking for a way to... hurt me, or make me out to be problematic, or anything else. And it's hard to do that? Like being watched is one thing, being watched by someone who is actively looking for a way to bully you is even harder.

A big part of why I latched onto Halsin so hard is that more than any character in this game, Halsin shows that it's okay to still be hurt years later, to be strong and okay on the surface but cracking deep down, and as more and more is placed on you, the cracks spread. And I resonated with that so hard. I don't want to lose that sense of comfort and belonging because of some randos. But I also don't want to risk having more triggers flung at me in a place I'm trying to use to navigate my trauma. I feel very stuck here, and that's part of why I'm "in hiding", so to speak, as i try to sort this out.

So... that's me being transparent and open and vulnerable, which I am absolutely sure I'll end up regretting immediately, but I also really needed to get this out because I have been letting a lot of stuff build without really talking out how much I've been stressed and hurting, and... this was kind of the straw, really.

[koicrimes]

i've been thinking soooooo much about my boys and reina, the people around them and all their random little details~ and i've been wanting to draw and write about them but i've stretched myself sooo fucking thin with all these litte projects and irl work 😩 so i'll just ramble here instead and once i have the time, i'll do something about it:

-the koisties go fishing together one sunday out of the month, every month. they have a spot- it was nishiki's spot originally but he introduced aizawa to it and now it's their spot.

-reina is really good at tennis. like, shockingly good! she played for her college team 3 out of the 4 years she was there. her coach always tried to get her scouted and really hoped she could go pro but reina wasn't into it. she played as a stress reliever, making it a career might've taken that away. for a few years after graduation, she served as an assistant coach until a more permanent person filled the position.

-in addition to that, she's also really good at table tennis! there was a bar she frequented before opening serena that held tournaments and she won like 3 in a row. there was a placard with her name on it in that bar for years before the building burned down. she'd flirted with getting a table for serena at one point but she ultimately decided against it because it didn't fit the environment she's going for.

-aizawa used to play rugby in high school. he was sorta bullied into it by the club advisor lol. the guy saw aizawa getting into trouble and thought he wasn't really that bad of a kid, he just need somewhere else to channel his aggression.

-while he's not much into rugby these days, he's still into sports. soccer is his favorite of them all. he plays with his old friends from his days at the factory when he can but otherwise, he settles for watching games at home or in a bar with plenty of beer and munchables.

-the koisties root for the same soccer team until the rare occasion that japan and brazil get play against one another, then they don their gear and become bitter enemies.

-morinaga played baseball during his school years and even after dropping out, getting married, having kids and ultimately moving on with his life, he remained in contact with the members of his club. up until 2012, getting together at the field in his hometown and playing against other adult teams that were interested, was an annual event. there were at least 4 games a year and they were the talk of morinaga's small little hometown. after he'd heard of this, aizawa never missed a game when he could manage it.

-when they'd reached middle school, kazama was really hard on the sunflower kids about participating more in their schools. he encouraged (read; forced) them to find a club they'd be interested in and made them join one. kiryu joined the baseball club and when nishiki applied, he was informed that all the positions were filled, leaving him with no choice but to (essentially) be a water boy or look elsewhere.

-nishiki always had a bit of a gift for art despite not acknowledging it as such. when he joined the visual arts club, he'd done so under the impression that it would require the least amount of effort and he'd have time to just kinda chill instead. he wound up really loving his time in that club tho and learned alot of skills that he carried with him for years to come.

-as an adult, nishiki often paints as a form of therapy. he doesn't recognize it as such but that's ultimately what it is. many of his pieces are themed around violence, destruction, loss and hearbreak. very angsty, that one. he also has a habit of drawing the people closest to him. at one point, he used to impress the people he dated long-term by painting a portrait of them. he always brushed it off like it was nothing but i cannot stress enough how phenominal these pieces tend to be.

-reina has a potato-shaped birthmark on her left butt cheek that she's extremely self concious about for some reason.

-aizawa has noticed that a few moles have appeared on his body in roughly the same spots as his mom's were.

-aizawa is either a passenger princess or he's getting a cab/rideshare. he refuses to drive. he hates it and has awful road rage.

-nishiki has his ears pierced but avoided actually making use of them for a while. he'd really only plug them to make sure they didn't close and then take them out. when he does wear earrings they're generally a small hoops or studs. silver, predominately. actually, anytime he wears jewelry it's pretty much always silver.

-aizawa only wears gold jewelry. he doesn't like silver on him.

-nishiki can be convined to let his hair grow out longer, mid shoulder is usually the limit tho.

-aizawa keeps his hair short because when it reaches a certain length it, the waves come out to play and morinaga pretty much instilled the importance of a good haircut a long time ago. when he doesn't let his hair grow out a bit, even without morinaga there to nag him about it, he gets sorta anxious about it.

-morinaga has horrible, terrible handwriting but aizawa is one of the very few aside from his ex-wife who is actually able to make sense of it.

-if anyone ever asked aizawa to name the smartest person he knows, he'd name morinaga first without any hesitation.

-morinaga didn't finish high school bc he and his ex wife had their first child when they were super young and he needed to provide for them. he didn't let that stop him though. he was always looking into ways to educate himself. when he wasn't working or taking care of his kids, his nose was in some book. if anyone ever had a questions about anything, he almost always had an answer and when he didn't, he knew exactly where to find it.

annnnnnnddddd, i have more i wanna add here but i am wayyyyy too sleepy to write anything anymore tonight.

anyway, i'll either draw stuff revolving around these headcanons at some point or i'll wind up finding a way to make space for them on my writing blog, if not my ss blog (if i haven't already). my google docs are drowning with useless headcanons and lore about these bad bitches amd i never really did much with alot of them. tonight, i just felt like yapping! blame the pinot😌

[leedollop]

My Vox Headcanons + Made Up Lore List

Others showed interest in my Vox headcanons, so here they are. Yes, some of them are oddly specific, but making the character my own is one of the things I love to do in my fic writing. So I hope you enjoy these!

Living Life

Vox's father was a local hero who practiced "turn the other cheek" a little too much, while his mother was rather distant, though taught him a lot when it came to surviving through his smarts.

Vox was bullied terribly in high school due to homophobia and being a feminine man, which led him to being wary of jock types. Him being neurodivergent and having a strong drive, not understanding why others disliked discussing these things, also led to him being treated as a perv, which he later embraced.

Vox was a news anchor who spread false information and took bribes.

TW stalking and murder

A creepy fan ended up breaking into his changing room one night. Vox hit them with a lamp in self defense, causing them to hit their head and die. He felt extremely guilty at the time, and it was the first man he'd ever killed.

TW bad mental health

He was often worried he'd end up abandoned and die alone, understanding he was doing the wrong thing but being too afraid to stop.

Vox ended up dying when an old bully threatened to expose him. He shook a shelf so hard in anger that the TV on it fell onto his head and killed him. Hence his sinner form, and the way his screen sparks and his body twitches when he's angry.

This Man Is a Cat

One of his antennas (exclusively left when the right is a zig zag) flicks dramatically and rhythmically to the side whenever he wants to pounce on someone or something. This can be either because he really wants to give them affection, or he's extremely pissed at them.

He loves being scratched beneath his chin and around his antennas, which can get a bit itchy.

Whenever he's sitting on a surface, he will take up as much space as possible and dislikes sharing. The positions he lays in can also be strange.

He adores seafood. His favorite fish is tuna.

He would chase after a laser if someone used it on him.

Food Headcanons

He loves the taste of meat and, for this reason, always gets a hamburger instead of a cheeseburger whenever ordering somewhere. He believes the cheese just deludes the meaty flavor. His favorite meat his beef, sincerely and for humorous reasons.

His go to pizza order is a pepperoni or sausage pizza with extra cheese.

Vox is great at handling spice, though he doesn't tend to eat anything too spicy as he's not a big fan of the flavor. He enjoys sour foods, though nothing too extreme. His favorite type of food is savory.

He tends to dislike mixing sweet and savory foods, unless it pertains to dipping his fries in his strawberry milkshake, because he adores doing that. Fruit or fruit flavors combined with something savory is the only sweet and savory combination he will tolerate. He finds other combinations disgusting.

Vox's favorite fruit is strawberries, but he likes all fruits, except anything citrus, finding the flavor too strong. He loves lemonade though, so long as it is not too sweet or too sour (he's known as a flavor snob for this reason).

When it comes to pancakes, Vox usually just puts butter on them, along with a topping of one or two sliced up fruits. He'll occasionally put syrup on top as well, but not whipped cream, as he'd find that too sweet for his tastes.

Vox prefers cake over pie. He enjoys the way things like cake melt in his mouth and are fluffy in texture. He finds pies gross and "slimy".

Taste Headcanons

Vox publicly says his favorite music is pop or electric pop. However, his favorite music actually mostly consists of old romantic songs. That and "sad horny" songs. Although, he listens to a wide variety of genres.

He secretly loves romantic comedies and romantic novels, though he's too embarrassed to tell anyone else and keeps his collection hidden away.

He's actually been a huge fan of Dickmaster, Adam's band, for quite some time, but he'd never admit this at the risk of inflating Adam's ego or being teased by him.

Vox tends to prefer feminine clothing over masculine clothing. He'd also wear makeup if he didn't worry about being made fun of for it (I lowkey headcanon he is a transwoman, and the egg is yet to crack). He adores playing dress up for fun, and has done so with Velvette, especially around the holidays.

Neurodivergent Things

Vox can sometimes struggle with volume control, being very loud when he's excited. He can also sometimes blurt out extremely blunt or very crass things. This can sometimes make others uncomfortable, so he's very self conscious about it.

He struggles at times to read someone's tone, or understand certain social rules.

Though he is seen as perverted, he just does not understand other adults' reluctance to speak about something that is completely natural. He doesn't understand why some natural things are seen as normal to talk about and others not.

His excited stim involves him shaking his hands to his sides or stamping his feet.

He likes his spaces remaining organized and can be a major germaphobe.

Vox hates too many flavors and textures being mixed together, and is wary of unfamiliar flavors and textures as well. He also tends to dislike overly strong flavor and messy foods he is expected to touch with his hands. Because of this, his go to order at any restaurant is chicken tenders. It's the safe and easiest option.

[nfumbewalk]

Highly Transmutable Death Energy™

Altar from many, many years ago. The only sigil I can see is Eurynomous.' I imagine this is for the death Demons, the green candle I used for Ba'alberith or possibly Belial.

I'm studying how the HTDE current enters the right side of the body. This is where it is active, and as it travels through each chakra - See how that feels. The right side is Yang energy. The positive polarity. The ground is hot. On the opposite side, we have the HTDE that is receptive, holds within a great deal of energy, strength of our ancestors, & not to forget - emotion mostly lies here. What I said about Yin doesn't look enough? Read again what Yin covers! This is the negative polarity. When out of balance, things will go awry. How do you know? Most ppl do know when they feel "off." If you get that feeling, try a simple salt bath. I can recommend things on a case by case basis, for free. Just contact me via email, preferably:

stick.priestess at gmail.com

Again, what is HTDE?

My theory: Highly Transmutable Death Energy. Long & fancy but very simple. Where do you get this energy? The best way to get this energy is from an actual deceased person. I got some from my dad. It can be very disturbing for lots of folks, but I watched both of my parents perish at somewhat early ages (Mom, 58; Dad, 74). Not one aspect bothered me except that the nurse could have closed his eyes & hid the rigor mortis. I have a medical background, almost became an embalmer.

Anyway, HTDE is Death Energy but its filtered into a more pure state, like you'd filter oil, etc. So is HTDE as easy to get as Death Energy is? No, it's not as easy because you need something OF the muerto, meaning ashes, bones, hair or fingernails. Soo..HTDE is kinda rare. I've tried to make it accessible, but other options don't work. I'm not pulling your hair. Buying bones at the boneroom.com ain't gonna suffice unless you know or are related to that person. HTDE requires a person who can get cremains (ashes) or other items from a corpse. If they're dying, no. They gotta be dead.

Sorry. This is *extremely* powerful energy, and novices shouldn't do it without training. I'm the ONLY teacher. These are MY methods. Highly Transmutable Death Energy™ can be used for very important things in life. Use it for heavy assault & bodily harm threats or even death threats, bully deflection, a monetary blessing (a big one), life's conundrums & family disputes or to gather family together, blessings of love & marriage (serious), healing (BIG guns!!!), and maybe something you want & you promise on the ashes that you'll deliver on your end with something for the family.

This IS NOT ancestral in nature, as you can have different remains or cremains. I just used it in a familial sense because it's a lot easier to explain. While I love my family & ancestors, they do not have a shrine. My mom made a VERY loud & clear statement that she nor anyone else wanted to be on an altar. She used very colorful and some racist comments because that's when I practiced Yoruba. She hated it. Yoruba is not my way. They don't understand my need for the color black! White is very powerful, but the second I wear it - covered in filth!! 😂

I'm very fortunate to have my dad's cremains, though he wanted to be in the ocean. But he never said anything. I've talked to him recently through channeling and he repeated something he said when he was alive, about his cremains: "I don't give a shit whatcha do wit' em. Put em in the trash." All normal speech, no emotional reactions. My dad, the spade. Me too. 💖 Very old expression.

So...the remains or cremains hold special energy. What do you do with the cremains or remains? These tools are brought about to catalyze the processes of what you are working toward, or for. Look up the word catalyze, that will give one clue.

Y'all want to know what is done with the stuff, huh? There's a few things. You can wear an urn necklace. I do. You can take the item somewhere in nature for your work. You can put it in a mojo bag. You can have them sealed in a piece of artwork. Tons of things can be done!

How do you feel the energy? Get near HTDE. You'll feel it. And yes, newer deaths ARE stronger in vibration. Within the last 25 years, estimated. Care must be given for very old cremains or remains - I would caution about using old bones & ashes because most of the time, they aren't worth it and most of the energy is depleted.

And you can only feel HTDE in a graveyard if the tomb is VERY fresh, no longer than 1 week OR are in a very guarded graveyard that's ruled by a gang or close knit group. That's just the way things work.

Lots of experience here.

L8R!

M.M. 💖💀💖

(What's M.M.? Memento Mori or, Remember Death!)

[hanmasghost]

Tokyo Revengers babysitting child!reader

Please check my page before requesting

A/N: This shit has been on my mind since like- January so I finally decided to write it, it’s taken me awhile though because of on and off motivation, apologies

Characters: Mikey(Bonten), Koko(Bonten), Kazutora(past)

Pronouns: He/Him

Tags: @reallyromealone

Warning(s): someone gets shot, child neglect, Sanzu gets bullied by reader, me bulling Ran, hinted de@th

Manjiro ‘Mikey’ Sano:

“His Redemption”

A few weeks ago Mikey had called a surprise meeting. Not even Haruchiyo Sanzu, Mikey’s number two, knew about it. It was completely unexpected.

Everyone thought it was just gonna be some kind of random mission that Mikey decided to drop on them last minute. And in way that’s kinda what it was.

Tho there was something different about this mission. It wasn’t really a mission.

“I’ve called you here today because I need you all to behave.”

“What do you mean boss? We’re a criminal organization~ we’re not supposed to bEhAVe” A tall man with short, dyed hair said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, and in a way, it kinda was.

“Well no shit, but the boss obviously told us this for a reason, Ran.” A shorter male with a dyed mullet said.

“Yeah but-“

“Shut up. Let the boss finish you morons.” A man with a cigarette hanging from his mouth said, his voice showing his annoyance with the two men.

“… as I was saying… I’m going to be needing you guys to behave. I’ve been babysitting a child as of late, and I’ve decided to start bringing him here, and I’d rather not have you guys kill someone or something and traumatize the kid.”

Everyone’s jaws dropped.

The boss babysitting a kid?

The most feared man in the world?! Babysitting a kid?!??!?

Kokonoi was the first to recover.

“And? Do you expect us to gamble quietly or something? You know how extreme those nights can get.”

“I don’t care. Just don’t do anything to harm the kid physically or mentally. I will take any such actions as a traitorous act and deal with it as such.”

“HUH!? BUT BOSS-“

“End of discussion. You’ll meet him tomorrow. Clean the place up.” And that was the last thing Mikey said before getting up and leaving the room.

And just as Mikey had said, the next day there was a kid there.

He looked anxious? No one was for sure.. He was just.. standing there blankly. Either he’s nervous about being around some really sketchy looking people, or he’s been around Mikey too much.

Ran was going to tease him and possibly try scaring him a bit but before he could, he was dragged away by Rindou, who knew he enjoyed messing with and scaring little kids.

So that left Kokonoi, Sanzu, Takeomi, and Kakucho with the kid. Mochizuki was currently busy getting things, per Mikey’s request.

“Soooo… ya like drugs kid?” Sanzu awkwardly asked.

“… Ugly.”

“HUH!?”

And that’s how Bonten met the small kid Mikey took care of on weekdays.

After Y/N had been there every week for five days the members have learned to grow on the kid, even if he was rude and and impolite on the occasional day. And they still didn’t like that they had to behave.

Usually when they had to deal with traitors, or just anything that could possibly harm or traumatize him, they would play games with him somewhere else. Usually it was Ran, Rindou, and Sanzu, but of course they had their own things to do.

So when those situations happen Y/N is with his favorite Bonten member, his actual babysitter, Mikey.

Today it was Sanzu’s turn to watch Y/N, while everyone else continued to do their missions Mikey had given them this morning.

None of it was related to killing anybody.

So when Mikey heard a gunshot he was confused, and like most confused and curious people, he went to check it out.

On the way to going to where he heard the shot from he found Y/N, he was running straight towards him.

“MIKEY! MIKEY!”

“Hm? What is it?”

“UGLY-SAN TAUGHT ME HOW TO USE A PEW PEW!” Y/N exclaimed, pulling a gun out of his hoodie packet.

“… I think I need to have a talk.. with Sanzu.. Mikey said slowly as he recognized the nickname Y/N had given the pink haired male.

“Why?”

“No reason..just don’t aim that at anybody important.. okay?”

“So I can aim it at Ran?”

“… sure I guess.. go for it.”

“What about Ugly-San?”

“…. Go ahead.”

“Oh! Okay…” Y/N said drifting off.

“Got something to add?”

“I kinda… already did… Ugly-San’s foot turned red…” Y/N admitted picking at his fingers.

“.. I see… so want some Doroyaki?”

“FUCK YEAH!! FOOD!!!”

“Where’d you learn that from?”

“Fuck?” Mikey nodded in reply “Ran and Koko yell it to each other a lot saying “fuck you” and stuff, they told me it means vic- vic something..”

“Victory?”

“Yeah!”

“That makes no sense but okay… anyways about that Doroyaki”

“FOOD!” Y/N yelled, running down the hall, practically jumping off the walls. He turned around occasionally to make sure Mikey was following and keeping up with him.

Sanzu then appeared next to Mikey and started explaining that Y/N had shot him. Mikey stopped him mid story by saying “I know. Now move, we’re gonna go get Doroyaki.”

“HUH?! BUT-“

Mikey ignored Sanzu and picked Y/N up, who was behind Sanzu, waiting for Mikey, and continued walking towards the exit of the building.

Y/N looked over Mikey’s shoulders and stuck his tongue out at Sanzu.

Mikey will never know that Y/N had just stolen Sanzu’s gun, and accidentally shot him in the process, trying to get Sanzu’s attention.

Well he wouldn’t know for a good while anyway, not until he checks the cameras.

Even when he did check the cameras he still took Y/N’s side, mainly because Sanzu was supposed to have his gun hidden from Y/N’s view.

Also cause Y/N is the favorite.

Why?

Because you gave him life.

You made it so he could leave this place knowing he did something good.

Because you were his redemption.

Kokonoi ‘Koko’ Hiajime:

“Not Just a Paycheck”

Koko had gotten a job awhile back. He wanted to make some good cash.

Sure he already has a lot, but he wanted more. Why? Cause Kokonoi is a greedy money whore. That’s why.

So he decided to babysit a wealthy woman’s kid.

Koko expected him to be a total brat but he actually found the child to be quite insecure and unsure of his actions.

He always asked Koko if he could do this, or if he could do that, as if he was always told no.

The more Koko hung around he realized that the woman was usually always home when he was there.

So why need a babysitter?

He asked her and she said it’s because her son needs constant attention from an adult, and she cannot give him any.

The thing is, the kid, otherwise known as Y/N, rarely asked Koko for anything, he only asked if he could basic things like go outside, or have a cookie.

Koko signed up to be a babysitter. Not a parent.

Though when he tried to quit the woman offered to raise his pay. Koko being Koko had dollar signs in his eyes as he said he would stick around awhile longer.

The next day when he came to watch you again he expected to see you sitting at the stairs by the main entrance, waiting for him to come take your hand and take you to go do something.

That’s not what happened this time tho.

Once he opened the door to your mansion his legs were immediately attacked by you embracing him, keeping him from not being able to move.

“Hey buddy… what’s wrong?” He asked, putting his free hand on the top of your head and ruffling your hair.

Apparently your mother had brought up how Koko was thinking about quitting during dinner and that they would probably have to find a new babysitter.

What upset Kokonoi tho was that when you asked why he was gonna quit your mother told you that you were nothing more then a paycheck to both him, and her.

“Hey buddy.. look at me..” Koko spoke softly, trying to comfort you.

You looked up at him with teary eyes, it broke his heart. He wouldn’t admit that though.

“C’mere.” Koko said opening his arms down towards you.

You let go of his legs and reached up for his hands. As you did so he scooped you up and held you so you were both face to face.

“You are way more then a paycheck alright buddy? You’re much, much more.” He said smiling at you. In all honesty he was on the verge of tears, but he smiled at you anyways. “So don’t cry okay? Wipe those tears.”

Wiping your tears away you proceed to bury your face into his expensive jacket. Probably staining it with more tears as you continued to cry.

Not that Kokonoi really cared, he could always wash the jacket later. Plus, you are much more important to him as of now.

Kazutora Hanemiya:

“His Escape”

Kazutora would have never thought he’d be babysitting a kid before. Despite said thought, here he was, taking care of 6 year old Y/N after he had run into Y/N’s mother on the street who had practically begged him to babysit her child.

Kazutora wasn’t gonna accept at first but the woman started crying and pulled out a wad of cash. So he said fuck it, and accepted.

The thing was that the woman basically just gave him the wad and ran away after telling him to meet her around 4pm at **** park, leaving the six year old with him in the middle of the streets.

Being only a teenager, Kazutora didn’t know what to do with the child so he took him to get ice cream. Kids like ice cream right?

Neither Kazutora or the child, Y/N, who Kazutora only knows the name of because the kids mother said it in the middle of her begging, had said a single word up until they entered an ice cream shop.

“So uh… what flavor would you like?”

“{chosen flavor}”

“Alright I can do that.. what size cup do you want?”

“I get to.. choose?”

“Yeah. Go ahead.”

As Kazutora finished his sentence he watched as Y/N went up to the cup dispenser and grabbed the large cup. Kazu smiled and also grabbed a large cup.

I mean, the woman did give him a wad of cash so why not spend a bit of it on himself and the kid?

Kazutora watched as Y/N struggled to reach the button. It was kind of funny to be honest. Maybe even a bit adorable in a way.

Despite that Kazutora decided to end the poor child’s suffering by reaching his hand out towards him.

“Need some help? I can fill it for ya.”

Y/N looked at him, at the cup, and back at him with a pout and a nod.

Kazutora grabbed the cup and filled it up. He then smiled as he handed it back.

Damn, he was smiling a lot.

It’s weird to not have to force it.

As much as this realization made Kazutora question things, he decided to ignore it. He wasn’t gonna get answers anyways, so why not just move on and enjoy his day.

Kazutora then filled his ice cream cup as well, he chose vanilla bean of course.

Kazutora walked up to the register with you after putting some toppings on your ice creams. He helped you hand your cup to a lady who was working the register.

He payed for your ice creams using the money your mother had given him and then took you to a nearby park.

You had already eaten a majority of your ice cream by the time you got there tho.

“You having fun kid?”

All he got in reply was an ice cream filled smile and a vicious nod.

“Good… me too.”

Kazutora’s mind wondered off to his earlier realization.

He was.. genuinely happy.

Was it because of you?

But why?

Was it because this wasn’t anything gang related? Was it because taking care of you wasn’t gang related?

But he enjoys messing around and doing stuff with the gang. He enjoys plotting his.. revenge.. on Mikey…

Right?

He does enjoy that stuff right?

Maybe… he doesn’t?

Kazutora took a deep breath, and after counting to three he exhaled.

Maybe he should.. take a break?

From like gang stuff?

The real question is… could he take a break?

How would he go about it?

Unless…

Maybe if he babysat you more often… he could have a small break every now and then.

Yeah… that might work.. I mean, it’s not bad either. You are a good kid. Pretty fun and dorky too.

So maybe it wouldn’t be bad if he did ask to babysit you more? He wouldn’t mind it. Hopefully you and your mother wouldn’t either.

“Uh so… what would you think if I asked your mom if I could babysit you more often?”

“Banana boy be around more then?”

“Hey! I!-“ Kazutora sighed “yeah.. I’ll be around more often.. also call me Kazutora, kid.”

“Kazu!” You smiled.

“It’s Kazutora… it’s better than banana boy tho..”

“Kazuuu!”

“Hm? What ya need kid?”

“Kazu stay?”

“That depends on what your mom says.”

“I’m alright with it.” A voice from the left of Kazutora said.

“Jesus!-“ Kazutora screeched “oh- sorry ma’am. You caught me off guard I suppose..” Kazutora said apologetically while scratching his cheek.

“No worries, I did come a bit earlier than I said I would after all.” Your mother explained, smiling at Kazutora.

“So uhm.. ma’am I was wondering-“

“Momma” You said, cutting Kazutora off. “Momma Kazu stay?”

“If that’s what he wants to do.” Your mother gestured to Kazutora with a smile.

“Well actually.. that’s what I was gonna ask about..”

“Then of course! Say.. why not come for dinner? I did ask you to babysit Y/N on a whim..” she said, a guilty smile on her face.

“But ma’am, you already payed me, I couldn’t-“ Kazutora was once cut of again, but this time by a new found weight on his arm.

“Kazu stay?” You asked, clinging to Kazutora’s arm.

“I… I can’t say no to such a good kid like you can I?” Kazutora teased.

Your mother laughed. “He really pulled that card huh? Pffft-“

Kazutora then walked out of the park with you and your mother to her car.

Apparently she had a job interview today and a babysitter she had hired backed out last minute.

So she was super appreciative towards Kazutora. Otherwise she would’ve been utterly screwed over. Luckily she got the job and starts in a week or so.

Kazutora enjoyed his time at your house, he especially enjoyed the dinner that was served.

He couldn’t really imagine where his life would be going if he never accepted your mothers pleas and didn’t babysit you. Probably continuing to falsely believe he enjoyed his life the way it was.

He was grateful towards you and your mother.

You both saved him from his own self destructive thoughts.

You were his escape from that horrible way of thinking. That horrible way of life.

Nothing he could do would ever be enough to pay you both back.

[husbandohunter]

A Small Predicament [Baby Genshin x Reader]

Characters: Scaramouche, Diluc, Kaeya, Childe, Xiao, Zhongli, Albedo

Synopsis: Cursed for a week, the boys either have to live with it or find a cure as soon as possible. You on the otherhand hoped otherwise.

(A/n): It only takes ONE glance for me to start having ideas. It was twelve in the morning yall, enjoy~

Oh here's part 2

--------

Scaramouche

• "Oh you shrank? I couldn't tell-"

• Threatens that he will murder you to pieces and burn your remains but his voice was so squeaky and high pitched (voice crack) that you couldn't help but burst into a tearful laughter. 

• Its payback time  Bully him, take his hat and hover it above his head. Truthfully, without his hat Scaramouche looks like a little schoolboy. Overall less intimidating.

• Tries glaring. Cute. He's really bratty as a kid, sitting on a high chair (which you had to help him get on) and demanding his servants to do his bidding. In reality, his personality never changed. You realized that even as a grown up he still acts like this (bratty kid in a grown man body).

• The curse made his week a living hell. Signora had the audacity to pull his ear when he misbehaves. Childe constantly messes with his hair while giving head pats and the WORST of all, pinching his cheeks. Scaramouche never wanted to commit arson so bad in his life.

• Eventually finds a cure so he doesn't have to deal with it anymore and orders everyone to never speak of it again. Though, he's plotting how he'll get revenge on everyone who made fun of him using the very same curse (You better run).

~~x~~

Diluc

• "Oh…Oh my! Diluc you're just so cute!" 

• Diluc grimaces as you glomp him in this state. How can you help it? With his head so small it makes his hair all the more fluffier! His coat no longer fits him to the point the sleeves had made past his fingertips. He tried wielding his claymore again, only to lose balance and fall flat onto his bum

• (insert kid voice "Retribution!") Did I mention the babyface?

• Diluc tries to act as if everything was normal, acting like the Darknight hero and Mondstadt's Tycoon but fun-sized. He couldn't. There was no way people would take him seriously in business meetings. Same with fighting abyss mages, his smaller form was too much of a disadvantage. Thus you ended up doing most of his paperwork.

• One time you caught him sitting on the floor couldn't reach his office desk  while reading away the various books for a cure. It was three in the morning. You told him it was way past his bedtime and he argues saying when did he ever have a curfew schedule. In the end you managed to convince him and he begrudgingly obliges.

• The type to NOT ask for help even when it's obvious that he really needs it. Before he was the one who helped you reach things from the top shelves, oh how the tables have turned. He avoids Kaeya like a plague unless he was in it for another round of funny remarks. When he wanted to go out and get some fresh air, you insisted on accompanying him. Worst mistake in his life. A travelling merchant bumps into you and commented that you had a very cute son. Diluc was mortified.

• The day ended up with him sulking in his room. Although it was tempting, you resisted from cooing over his adorable form after days of treating him like a child. It wasn't because you were teasing him, Diluc just works so hard that you wanted to spoil him a bit. At least he could still play a game of chess with you.

• When things went back to normal, Diluc ensures that you will NOT see him as your son.

~~x~~

Kaeya

• "Well look who it is, my little Prince Kaeya~"

• Tries really hard not be bothered by it at all. Kaeya still maintains his suave facade, throwing in a couple of flirting lines here and there (and forcing his voice to go a few octaves too low in which puberty has yet to occur HA). Though no matter what approach, he couldn't ignore the sparkling mischievious glint in your eye. You were obviously not taking him seriously.

• Things couldn't get any worse. He lost his masculine physique and boob window, he wasn't able to go to certain places without supervision. But the worst thing of all was that he was underaged. Kaeya hated the fact he couldn't drink anymore, he even insisted you to sneak him a few bottles (which you refused) and had to settle with plain beverages such as fruit juice (what an insult). He was never really grounded since his childhood days but he certainly felt like he was grounded now. 

• Kaeya still kisses you on the lips whether you like it or not. If you ask him to sit on your lap, he will find a way to turn the position into his favour such as resting his face between your breasts. You're not gonna treat him like a kid, nuh-uh, he actively avoids it.

• Since his personality still remains, Kaeya is a naughty child. He will use his innocent appearance to sway people (even you) to get what he wants. That was how he was able to take a sip of the wine he stole somewhere (he wouldn't tell you). Diluc scolded him heavily and threatened to ban him from drinking from his Tavern for a week (they ended up arguing, Kaeya being the passive aggressive little shit he is).

• He was extremely relieved to return back to his normal form again. He has so much to catch up (specifically his bedtime activities with you *wink wonk*)

~~x~~

Child(e)

• "Hmmm to be honest, this actually suits you very much."

• Unlike the other boys, Childe was completely okay with it. Turns out that YOU were the one who was not going to be okay. If you thought taking care of Teucer was energy-draining then expect Childe to take that tenfold and beyond.

• You've officially became his full-time babysitter who is in desperate need of a raise (and rest). You can't take your eyes off of him and archons forbid that he will ever meet Klee. One point he'll be running ahead by your side and the next you'll find him getting himself in a 1vs7 situation with some shady looking treasure hoarders. Childe genuinely thinks he could take them on but the curse downgraded his abilities. You carried him and barely made out of it alive. (This made you ponder whether the best solution would be to strap him against a chair for the time being…)

• Childe being a child will eat all the candies and ice cream he pleases. You wonder if the curse also turned him a few years back or was it that he acts like this simply because he wanted to (it was the latter). He loves being spoiled, spoiled by you! Childe demands your full attention, spoon-feeding his meals, back rubs and head pats. Yep, he's definitely doing this on purpose.

• Did he just call you 'mommy'? (Childe has mommy kink confirmed).  He has so much energy that it was exhausting, you literally had to drag him away from what ever he was doing in order to get him to bed. "No Childe, your sleeping time is 9p.m stop whining." He bargained that he'll sleep if you sleep beside him (you didn't get any sleep. You knew what he was planning. In the end, you tried to make sure he didn't sneak out behind your back.)

• Finally you were able to get out of that hell-hole. Childe promised to make it up to you, you deserve it after all~

~~x~~

Small (aka Xiao)

• "Did you know in the Liyuean language, Xiao translates to small?" You didn't say that out loud. Not when he's this angry (this angy)

• He just stands there, crossing his arms and grumbling. You were hesitant to touch him in case he might hiss at you. Xiao has always been short, maybe an inch taller than you, but seeing him like this made you think 'my almighty yaksha can't be this cute♡'

• He gets mad when you no longer call his name for help. How could you? He's just so precious~ Xiao makes it clear that no matter what form he takes, it doesn't make him weak ("Adepti and you mortals are nothing alike." Or so he says but you could tell he wasn't running as fast as he used to because…small legs). You may not comment on it aloud but he can tell just by the look on your face and it irritates him.

• Also the type to not ask for help but worse. Xiao is an agressive little kid, he seems as if he'll be willing to bite someone's finger off if they try to pet him (He gives strong cat vibes, so thats understandable). His spear was too big for him to wield so he often has to put it away or else he might knock someone over with it. Xiao hates being short so you'll be hearing him complain alot.

• Since he was an adepti, he didn't need to sleep however, the curse must have brought down his power by a significant amount to the point you DID catch him napping. You almost swooned out loud just by taking a glance upon his face. For once he didn't wear his signature grumpy look. Xiao appears like a normal child, one full of innocence. His snoring was soft and breathly but that just meant he was deep asleep. (You wished to take a picture). 

• Of course, everything had to come to an end (much to your disappointment), he still complains about the incident to this day.

~~x~~

Zhongli

• How is it possible for a baby to still look so handsome? (Must be his godly abilities)

• Zhongli is unfazed by this 'curse' since his past lives have already taken many forms. Though for some reason whenever he walks down the streets of Liyue, young girls, mothers, ladies all come him was and start complimenting him and gushing over him (he was suffocating). They'd squeeze him tight or squish his cheeks, it only takes once glance before the little girls start blushing and hiding behind their moms.

• Needless to say, despite what form he is in, Zhongli is still able to get free stuff. He got some free candies and some free kites to play with. You had to help him carry his items. Zhongli ends up tripping too much because his tailcoat reached his feet (he decided to just take it off. You had to hold that too). Seems like he can have anyone do things for him in the end HA.

• He still got that drippy voice and you're just like ???? "What on Teyvat Zhongli, you're a kid." This is why you can't see him as one, its nearly impossible.

• Actively avoids Hu Tao and Childe. Once Hu Tao caught sight of him and chased him for hours, he couldn't stay in one spot knowing that she might just pop out of no where. Childe still spoils him, however Zhongli feels irritated by the fact the only things Childe buys him toys (its different when other people do it.)

• Everytime you guys go back strolling through Liyue, you had to hold his hand in case more women come swarming hin again. You swear that at this rate he might get kidnapped because hes just such a beautiful baby.

• Zhongli learned an important lesson after his curse was lifted: no matter how many years he lives throughout  never take a form of a child.

~~x~~

Albedo

• You find him buried beneath a pile of books and had to dig him out before he suffocates.

• Albedo has the cutest eyes, they're big and round full of curiosity and they sparkle too (he has the prettiest eyes out of everyone tbh). He is the only person who is fascinated by this outcome and immediately goes in the wild to test out his new physique. 

• He was always curious why Klee T-poses when she runs so he decided to try it out himself. She was thrilled to find out that she now has a little brother to play with. In the end, Albedo indulges in the games she always wanted to play but couldn't because he was too old: princess dress up tea parties.

• You felt many things when you saw Albedo wearing a frilly gown and a plastic tiara tucked on his head. Deep down you knew regardless of what gender Albedo was still pretty. Klee even had the guts to redo his hair and hardly anyone was able to recognize it was him at all. He has pigtails, PIGTAILS! You made sure to burn that image into the very depths of your mind forever.

• The only advantage was the he was ablw to fit through small spaces, other than that, being small was way too inconvenient. He knocked down a few of his potion bottles which damaged the floor (thankfully not him) because they were lethal (he wonders how Klee was able to not injure herself when using bombs). You carried him and lifted him to alot of places such as trudging through the snow because Albedo would surely fall on his face due to his small form.

• Enough was enough, he only lasted a day with this and decided to just make a potion and put an end to the curse once and for all. 

[mari-lair]

Would you be willing to do an analysis on the way Teru acts with Akane? I personally love how comfortable he appears with Akane compared to pretty much everyone else.

The way Teru acts with Akane is something I deeply treasure, so I’m happy to talk about it!

We don't know how they feel into their routine but we know Teru couldn't hide he is an exorcist from Akane, who is involved in supernaturals too. There is no point in censoring himself when Akane already knows he can be just as cold and ruthless as he can be gentle, so Teru has a place where he can be more relaxed. Teru is still a guarded person though, so the one speaking the most is Akane.

Despite being seen as merciless at the start of their dynamic, he lets Akane go into detail about his life and obsessions in a way most characters would get weirded out by.  Teru isn’t being indulgent, he genuinely enjoys listening to Akane and learning about him and Aoi. He absolves everything his vice president says, so proud of how much he knows about Akane that he shares his knowledge with his family.

He values their talks, but he never hesitates to bully Akane.

That’s because Teru truly alleviates stress when he bullies Akane, and he is confident Akane won’t run away no matter how much he beat him. He knows Akane well after all, just like he could tell that Akane would value an enchanted pair of glasses, he can also tell the guy is not the ‘run away’ or ‘will get revenge’ type, considering him someone strong enough to handle his bullshit.

So Teru gets to have both his chat pal, and his stress relief.

Somewhere along their strange relationship Teru's interest turned into trust, he relaxed enough near Akane to lower his walls, until the insults and gushing about his family got more personal, effortlessly sharing thoughts that reveal a lot about Teru as a person.

Each time Teru is honest he only gets honesty back, and proof that Akane may be mild mannered and rude, but he is very smart. He usually understands what Teru wants to communicate like no one else does, and while he isn’t as cold as Teru, he doesn’t treat him like a monster either, just an asshole.

This encourages Teru to keep being more open about himself.

I want to bring attention to Teru’s smile here cause it may be small and subtle but it isn’t fake. He is more intrigued and amused than annoyed. When he shocks the poor guy there are stars on his speech bubble, he gets genuine joy from bullying Akane, which is a far cry from the disgust he shows when killing supernaturals.

He even admitted in the spin off that he have fun bullying him:

At its core, Teru feels accepted by Akane.

Teru knows his life is way too different from Akane’s life, he is an exorcist, he is not normal, but that doesn’t bother him as much when he talks with Akane, cause Akane is weird in his own way and he always listens. He treasures info on Teru just as much as Teru treasures info on him.

Is very clear Akane can not follow Teru's thought process or fully predict Teru, but he can grasp his mood and he knows when Teru is being serious. He still understands Teru better than anyone.

Teru is someone that’s hard to work with, that’s something even Teru himself acknowledges, but his conversations with Akane are effortless. It genuinely doesn’t matter that he isn’t normal or that his personality is shit, cause Akane already accepted that, and he chose to stay by his side anyway.

Akane can respect Teru while disagreeing with him. He can be completely caught off guard by a request and still go along with it, doing his best to keep up and unconsciously encouraging Teru to keep being himself, no matter how strange and hard to handle his honest self is.

Is no wonder Teru is so comfortable when he’s with Akane.

This extra also explicitly tell us that Akane is wise in his eyes, and that's big for Teru.

For as much as Teru loves to trick Akane, he is never being condescending, that's just his extremally questionable way to display affection, which I won't go in detail here.

When it matters Teru fully trusts Akane's intellect. The most obvious example is in chapter 73: At the Minamoto's House

Teru normally doesn't expect much from people, even from people he love, like Kou, but he believes Akane can reach the truth on his own. He is still awful at expressing his admiration but the fact he doesn't cut Akane off, only edging him to keep laying his logic out is very telling.

He trusts Akane to reach the right conclusion. And while Akane's view ins't perfect for Teru, his overall analysis of his reasons and actions doesn't fail, the amount of respect and pride he has for Akane is ridiculous. Just look at his face.

Akane is the person Teru trusts the most in the series as of now, but that's an analysis for another time.

[deardragonbook]

Your protagonist isn’t supposed to be every reader’s cup of tea

And wow is this a hard pill to swallow. But it’s true. 

A good protagonist is going to have character, that menas they’re going to have opinions, stances, and we all know how that goes. 

This is also just fun life advice, you got an opinion? That’s great! It also means someone somewhere doesn’t like you for it, like it or not. 

As usual, I’m going to use an example. 

So, I believe in writing not only as a way to tell stories but as a way to cope and deal with reality. One thing I had to deal with a lot in reality is an upbringing that taught me to be quiet. If I cried, I was being dramatic. If I said I was in pain, it was never as bad as I made it out to be. When I said I was being bullied, they were probably just messing around. 

A lot of kids go through this. It’s not right but it is what it is. We can do little more than learn form our parent’s mistakes. 

Because of this, when I went into my book Dear Dragon, I knew I wanted to stray far from that. I made a parental figure who was always open to listening, never invalidating and always ready to help. Don’t get me wrong, he makes plenty of mistakes, but this isn’t one of them. 

Because of this I have a protagonist (Itazu) who is extremely open about her feelings and opinions. Most people I find have enjoyed her, in fact I’ve had several people tell me their fave part of the book was her and that made me infinitely happy. However, I did have a couple of people who found her unbearable. 

And I totally get where they’re coming from. There’s a point in the book where Itazu is kind of restricted, and she is not happy. And she is expressing that frustration while most of the other characters under the same restrictions either never bring up their feelings, do it on rare occasions or in agreement with her as a pose to commencing the conversation. 

They saw her as selfish, as self-center. Everything is about her. 

And I get where they are coming from, she never invalidates anybody else’s feelings and she expressed understanding of contrary opinions to hers. But she still is expressing her feelings. 

And I love that about her. I love how she is unforgivingly honest and open. I love that she’s got feelings. 

Itazu is a good protagonist because she’s open, because she’s expressive and because she is opinionated. She’s also not going to be for everybody precisely because of that. And that’s fine. 

A good protagonist isn’t for everybody. 

Plus, don’t think that an unlikable protagonist takes away from a book. I’ve read plenty of books with protagonists I couldn't’ stand, but had to acknowledge were good characters and part of a good story. Sometimes it can even be a breath of fresh air. 

So, stop worrying about what other think about you, your protagonist, your character and heck even your book. If it’s good enough for you, it’s good enough for other people, you just have to find those people. 

As usual,  check out my book, stories I’ve written plus other social medias: here.

I’m sorry if the example wasn’t great. A lot of my writing advice is just me mumbling over problems I find when writing, but I also can’t spoil future books while talking about it so I had to perhaps simplify too much. 

But anyways, can you think of any books you didn’t like the protagonist off despite it being a good character? Give me some controversial MC book recommendations please! 

[violettelueur]

— FUSHIGURO MEGUMI + GOJO SATORU + ZENIN MAKI + GETO SUGURU || THEM BEING PROTECTIVE CHILDHOOD FRIENDS

↳ featuring : fushiguro megumi + gojo satoru + zenin maki + geto suguru from jujutsu kaisen

↳ warnings : grammar issues

↳ form : headcanons

↳ published : 17 february

↳ pronouns : non specified in headcanon

↳ request : Heya! Can I request a headcanon with Gojo, Geto, Megumi and Maki being very protective of their childhood friend? Like (reader) is just so sweet, innocent, pure and kind and understanding and, ya know she just give you the "must be protected" vibe, she's just so precious. And tho they know (reader) can protect herself, they also know as well how reluctant she is to use her curse techniques because of how destructive of nature it is, and so they just wanna protect her from curses but as well as from thoses power-hungry elders.So yeah hc 'bout them being (over)protective of their lil ray of sunshine, just a fluffy hc if possible?Thanks for your time!

↳ barista’s notes : so this is the first time i have ever written something for maki, so i hope you guys really like it - if there are any tips, i will gladly take them into account ╲ʕ·ᴥ·　╲ʔ other than that that, i hope you enjoy your cup of classic black coffee (jujutsu kaisen request!) and please come to the cafe again soon!

When you and Fushiguro became friends at a young age, he has always been protective over you since he thinks of you as one of the ‘good people’ that needs to be protected.

The Zenin clan probably thought they got a 2 for 1 deal when they discovered you, but Gojo saved the day for the both of you.

When you both grow older and you went to the same middle school as him, he will beat up anyone that tries to harm or bully you - his sister will notice and tries to stop him but finds it really adorable that he is protective of you.

Since he knows you just don’t want to use your technique, he will ask Maki to train you with cursed weapons and he will train with you to make sure you can protect yourself.

Like I have mentioned in another headcanon, Fushiguro will keep a close eye on you and will stay by your side. If you walk somewhere, he will look at you for a second before talking behind you like a bodyguard.

Fushiguro isn’t one for physical touch, but if he sees someone looking at you in a way he doesn’t like, he will either place a hand on your head like he is patting you or pulls you closer to him by your sleeve and keeps grip on the fabric.

Since he is protective, expect a few texts here and there (if you are not with him) of him asking if you were okay and where you are right now.

He will ask for photos for evidence - so just take a few, please.

In conclusion, Fushiguro will do anything and take as many precautions to make sure that you are going to be okay no matter what situation comes at you.

When you and Gojo became friends when you both were children, he would find you annoying at first due to your kind nature but soon appreciates you as one of the only people that didn’t care about his power/status.

I feel like when you both were younger, you both promised each other that you will marry each other, so he can protect you - I don’t know why just a thought.

When you both attend Jujutsu Tech, he will tell Geto that you are off-limits and there is no way that he has a chance of dating you - he will never have his permission/blessing.

When you both are on a mission, Gojo loves to carry you away (properly in a weird way) from combat since he knows opponents will force you to use your technique to get a sight of it.

During missions, Gojo will always pick the tougher opponent while giving you the weaker one since he doesn’t want you to force yourself to use or technique - even though he knows you don’t even have to use it to fight and you could probably defend this opponent at the same time he does.

When it comes to the clans, he doesn’t trust any of them to see you, so he makes sure to always keep a distance from you to them - if his elders tell him to marry you, that’s one thing he won’t disapprove of.

When someone looks at you in a way Gojo feels weird about, he will swing an arm around your shoulder and just acts like he is teasing you about your height when in reality he is keeping an eye on the person.

When you are talking to someone that Gojo feels a bad vibe from, he will stand behind you in a far distance giving the person a death glare while sliding his thumb across his neck - that his stare wasn’t enough to give someone’s death warrant.

In conclusion, Gojo makes you avoid situations that put you in danger and will hide it with some teasing to make you not realise since he doesn’t want you to think that he thinks you’re weak, he just really cares about you.

When you and Maki were friends since childhood, she would always make you avoid her family since she was one of the first people you told about your technique.

You and Maki are always together no matter what, you both just seem to be together when someone looks for you or her - like if they asked where you were, the person would tell them to look for where Maki is.

Since you refuse to use your cursed technique due to how destructive it is (and by Gojo’s advice not to unless it is urgent) Maki will train you to use cursed tools to help with your combat disadvantage.

Since you and her used cursed weapons, a lot of people tend to avoid you both when it comes to training, leaving you and her to become competitive with each other.

Kugisaki admires you both highly and always wants to be by your guy’s side, so in a way, she becomes protective of you as well even if you are older.

If someone from her clan tries to talk to you, she will just immediately drag you away while glaring at them before mentioning to you not to talk to them - even though you said you didn’t even say a single word.

Maki can be quite blunt at times, so when she tells you that she thinks you can’t handle something, in reality, it translates to “I’m worried about you” - you will learn this after being her friend for a while.

If anyone Maki doesn’t like comes up to you/or she feels has bad intentions, just know she is suddenly by your side in a second - like the flash.

In conclusion, you and Maki are just best-friends that are strong-willed, even though she says things that are quite mean due to her forwardness, just know that they have caring and worried connotations to them.

When you and Geto became friends, he was probably the one that introduced himself to you first since he seems like a friendly person when he was a kind - even if he was a damn tease.

As you grew older, Geto always made sure to slyly be by your side wherever you went so he can keep an eye on you.

When you and Geto enrol at Jujutsu Tech, just like Gojo, Geto will tell his friend that you are off-limits - but on the low, he seems more threatening than Gojo for some reason.

Since your cursed technique is extremely destructive, Geto sometimes makes you go to get Ieiri so you can avoid getting into dangerous missions - he knows you are going to be gone for a while, so it’s a good way to get you away from danger.

If you are adamant to go on missions with him - since you are capable - he will teach you how to fight with hand-to-hand combat since he is more comfortable with you doing that then get yourself hurt by your cursed technique.

If someone is looking at you in a way Geto doesn’t like at all, he will turn to them while giving them a threatening smile - because that’s more creepy than a murderous look.

If you need to be somewhere else, Geto will look at you from afar to make sure you are okay and if you notice, he will smile and wave at you.

Geto is your protector in the shadows, if you are fighting someone with no ease and suddenly something hits them without you doing something, just know Geto is right behind you with one of his curses in hand and if you turn around, he will smile and wave at you.

In conclusion, Geto is someone that is protective behind the scenes and not right in your face, he knows you are capable of protecting yourself, so he does it behind your back as a reassurance to him.

© violettelueur 2021 : written and published by violettelueur - do not steal or repost

[itsclydebitches]

I kinda wonder, what could bakugou do (hori write bakugou to do) to make him less popular with the "anti" crowd. Like He was a horrid child no doubt and people who try to put blame on Deku or lessen the terrible shit bakugou did aren't great. But as we don't rly see it, we have to assume bakugous behaviour wasn't stopped, we only ever saw his mum "punishing" him when he was being rude after getting kiddnapped. Nothing will excuse what bakugou did, but he has stopped? He's overall a harsh person but he's not harrassing and bullying people anymore, specifically not deku, he's trying to attone for what he did to deku and has now apologised for it. His behaviour was never viewed as justified or good in the series, he's a scary figure in middle school, we're not meant to like his behaviour, so the series itself hasn't justified his actions.

As someone who relate to both bakugou and deku more than I'd like to admit (never told someone to jump tho, that's fucked lol) so I can 100% understand not liking or even hating bakugou but as someone who's not 15 anymore, looking back I also made a lot of really shitty decisions and like bakugou have tried to make up for it, and like deku I was 'friends' with people who hurt me.

Is there anything he can do for the "antis" to just dislike him rather that be "anti"?

(I'm very sorry if you've talked about this somewhere, you can just tell me to look for it if you have, I'll continue to look for your posts on the subject)

Hey there, anon! I think I’ve spoken about this only tangentially and/or in my main Bakugo meta, which is too big for anyone sane to read. So yeah, let’s chat here!

For me personally—and that’s all I can ever do: speak personally. I think it’s important to keep in mind that there is no single solution to please the “anti” crowd. Each fan will be looking for something slightly different in Bakugo’s character, much of which might contradict what a “stan” is currently enjoying. Given how charged a character he is, I'm not sure it's possible to get the entire fandom to like him—what I’m looking for hinges on having a different reading of the story than you seem to. Meaning, I think the series does justify his behavior. Not in any overt, super obvious way like having all the characters go, “Wow, Bakugo! I sure do love how you threaten people all the time. That’s super cool and heroic!” Things are rarely that straightforward. Rather, it’s in a more subtle, but consistent manner that paints a rather conclusive picture across hundreds of chapters.

Simply put, Bakugo is continually rewarded for his actions. Or, if not outright rewarded, his actions are ignored in a way that implies silent acceptance. Characters may not always like what he does... but they're willing to let it slide because Bakugo's heroism was always treated as a given, not something he had to earn and prove.

With the ever necessary disclaimer that I’m not fully caught up yet, here’s a list of some of the things that stood out to me in the first half of the series:

Bakugo’s bullying made him the most popular kid in school.

Bakugo’s bullying was ignored by/outright supported by the teachers.

Bakugo’s bullying did not hinder him from getting into U.A., one of the most prestigious hero schools around.

Despite acting horribly throughout his time at U.A. too, this behavior was continually ignored by the teachers and other authority figures around him.

Bakugo’s struggle to realize that other people aren’t “trash” doesn’t hurt his achievements in any way. He still gets top scores, still wins the tournament, etc.

Bakugo’s behavior gets him special attention from All Might, the greatest hero and Bakugo’s personal idol.

His behavior doesn’t make others dislike him in any manner that’s taken seriously. Everybody is still willing to not just put up with Bakugo, but—in time—start treating his behavior as a quirk (no pun intended lol) that they’re secretly fond of, rather than something he should legitimately be striving to change. Kirishima is the most overt example of this.

This is compounded by his behavior constantly being framed as humorous. Much like with Mineta’s perverted actions, characters might superficially go, “No, that’s bad!” but the story never demands any significant development because then we’d lose the “joke” of Bakugo screaming in rage at the slightest inconvenience, threatening to murder someone over nothing, constantly belittling everyone around him in a “funny” manner, etc. When fans talk about development of a manga character as archetypal and extreme as Bakugo, most don’t really want to see significant change to his base personality. Because then that would result in someone who doesn’t look like the “real” Bakugo: someone nicer, more even-tempered, more mature, etc. But for those of us who were never drawn to that personality in the first place, the continued acceptance of his rude, egotistical, and violent behavior is discomforting. The easiest comparison I can draw is between this and Bakugo’s mother slapping him. That slap is meant to be another “joke”—we see it constantly in shonen anime, something "humorous" you shouldn’t take too seriously because haha, it's just an overprotective mother—but many fans do take it seriously, using it as the basis for a whole “Bakugo was abused and this explains his behavior” reading. Well, I take the “joke” of Bakugo’s threats and insults seriously, especially in a story that starts with something like telling Izuku to jump off the roof. In the same way that many fans want others to treat Bakugo’s mother as a serious topic that has had a negative influence on his development, I want the series to take Bakugo’s everyday actions seriously as a negative influence on… well, everyone around him. But it doesn’t. His base personality is grudgingly adored.

The above two points are seen most overtly in Izuku, who never wavers in his respect for Bakugo despite how Bakugo treats him. Not just prior to U.A., but during their training too. Izuku, as the protagonist, is the emotional heart of this tale, so when he talks about how inspiring Bakugo is, it encourages the reader to see his behavior as inspiring too. Rather than, as said, something that needs to change. Izuku's continued friendship with Bakugo, his adoration of him, and his acceptance of the way he's treated has severely warped how the entire story sees Bakugo's actions. After all, if #pure Izuku can see the good in Bakugo, why can't everyone else? He must not be that bad after all.

I could get into detailed analyses of all the above—like how Bakugo was the one comforted after attacking Izuku outside the dorms at night and how the messed up relationship he has with Izuku is upheld as something to nurture; how the remedial courses he had to take were made to be rather silly, thereby undermining their supposed importance to his development; how Bakugo’s kidnapping had nothing to do with his flaws, but much of the fandom uses it as a way to dismiss any appropriate consequences because, “Hasn’t he suffered enough?” etc.—but in the interest of keeping this within a readable length, I’ll leave it at that. The point is that Bakugo has always been privileged when it comes to his behavior, resulting in others either outright praising it, ignoring it, or demanding that he change a miniscule bit, which always keeps him far below the standards of both his peers and the expectations of a hero. Everyone in 1-A must learn to be even better than the good people they already are... Bakugo needs to learn that other people aren't dirt at the bottom of his shoes. It's never been a particularly impressive development when pit against the rest of the class. All of which can make something like an apology feel pretty hollow. Yes, he’s apologized and I say with all seriousness that that’s great! But how does that apology stack up against 300+ chapters of content? As Bakugo’s words highlight, he's been a really awful person up "until now": he was consumed by Izuku being “miles ahead of [him],” he “looked down on [him]” because he didn’t have a quirk, he “didn’t want to recognize that,” he “hated that,” “grew distant,” “tried to beat you down,” “opposed you and tried to show my superiority over you,” and ends it all with, “it probably doesn’t mean anything telling you all this” before finally getting to the “I’m sorry.” This is basically a laundry list of how horrible a person Bakugo has been for the entire series, with an acknowledgement that this apology is coming really, really late. This is the moment where I could START to like Bakugo, depending on how he acts form here on out, but that pivotal moment arrived after six years of content and in the final arc of the story. It’s too late. Bakugo needed this kind of self-reflection and positive action 250+ chapters ago so he could (hopefully) grow into a better person across the story, not at the story's end. What we got instead is 322 chapters of him being a really horrible person, but the story going out of its way to excuse or even praise that behavior the majority of the time.

As a quick comparison to end on, I think what Bakugo needed was what Soo Jin got in True Beauty. You don’t need to have seen the drama to follow along. The tl;dr is that she has a lot of the core qualities of Bakugo: an all-consuming drive to win that was created due to abusive parents with high expectations, resulting in her bullying a peer to a pretty horrific extent. The difference between them is how the story frames their actions. When Soo Jin becomes the bully she loses everything. Rather than succeeding academically, her grades plummet, making it clear that this anxiety and self-doubt (things the fandom keeps insisting Bakugo is struggling with, but that rarely ever show up in the text) is actually impacting her day-to-day life. Her best friend drops her because she’s not going to support her choices. The boy she likes rejects her. She’s eventually forced to start over somewhere new - which importantly separates her from the girl she was bullying - and get some distance from her parents, resulting in the growth needed to become a healthier, happier, good person again. So when Soo Jin apologizes to the girl she hurt, it feels earned. The story continually recognized how horrific her actions were and put her into a place where she either had to change, or continue losing at everything else that was important to her. Bakugo? Bakugo doesn’t lose. Oh, he claims he does because he’s comparing himself to Izuku constantly, but that’s just him thinking in extremes. He still wins academically. Still wins many battles. Still wins at having friends. Still wins by maintaining the prestige of being a U.A. student. Still wins by getting All Might’s attention. Still wins by receiving Izuku’s respect and an agreement to maintain this rivalry that Bakugo is so obsessed with. Bakugo comes out well 99% of the time, he just thinks he's "lost" because he can't stand not being the absolute best.

For me, the story needed to have Bakugo face consequences for his behavior, not receive rewards and/or have others ignore it, and that revelation/apology needed to come way, way sooner. For me the issue is not a specific action that Horikoshi can have Bakugo do in the next chapter and them bam, I like him now. The problem is Bakugo’s entire concept, how he’s received by the entire cast, and his run across this entire series. "Entire" is the key word there. Which is why the “But he’s apologized. What more do you antis want?” reactions don’t sit well. What we wanted is a better written redemption arc across those 300+ chapters, not a single scene that’s meant to have us forget all the other problems inherent in the story. At this point it’s a far more complicated situation than, “Bakugo just needs to do X, Y, and Z and then we’re golden.” At the end of the day, Horikoshi failed to make me like him as a person and I’m pretty sure he isn’t going to change Bakugo enough to make him likable to me. Bakugo was never the sort of character I’d be inclined towards without a serious, nuanced redemption arc, but sadly, a core, crucial part of that redemption arc took six years to arrive. At this point there’s no way to change the problems in Bakugo’s writing for that huge chunk of the series and not enough time left in the series, it seems, to do the work we should have seen across the entire run. Honestly, idk if the Bakugo we'll get going forward is someone I can just dislike as opposed to being really uncomfortable with, but my money is on there being too little story left and too much investment in upholding Bakugo's base personality for that to happen. I could absolutely be proven wrong! But I think the problems are structural and needed to be better dealt with from page one, not hastily patched over in the final hour.

[from-the-dark-past]

Interview with Anders Ohlin in The Black Metal Murders: English translation

Translator’s note: Black metal-morden (English: The Black Metal Murders) is a radio documentary from 2017 produced by Radio Sweden (download). It’s about Mayhem and the Norwegian black metal scene in the ‘90s and contains interviews with Jørn “Necrobutcher” Stubberud, Kjetil Manheim, Eirik “Messiah” Norheim and Anders Ohlin (Pelle Ohlin’s younger brother). 

Here, I’ve translated the parts where Anders Ohlin speaks into English (from Swedish). I’ve added time-stamps and short descriptions for the different sections of the interview. 

I am working on translating the interviews with Necrobutcher, Manheim and Messiah and will post them soon. 

1:51 - 6:35 [Talking about him and Pelle getting into extreme metal]

Anders: We’d started listening to hard rock and it was… We’d, like, worked through all of those… Judas Priest and Iron Maiden. 

Narrator: It’s the mid-1980s in Västerhaninge, a suburb of Stockholm. Pelle Ohlin lives here. He plays in the extreme metal band Morbid and his stage name is Dead. Pelle has introduced his five-years-younger brother to hard rock. Together, they’ve worked through all of the main bands. 

Anders: And you, like, hungered for this… This Other. 

Narrator: The ‘Other’ that younger brother Anders is talking about is extreme metal; music that is faster, darker and harder. A progression of hard rock. Music that isn’t easy to get your hands on at this time. Anders is in his early teens and has gotten his first girlfriend. 

Anders: It was my first relationship and it was super-exciting, and I was at her house, she lived in Jordbro, which is, like, the neighbouring suburb. 

Narrator: Anders’ girlfriend’s older sister has an LP that Anders simply must show his older brother Pelle. 

Anders: It was, like, you knew it was good music, and it was that Destruction record. 

Narrator: Anders sees the German death metal band Destruction’s cover and it’s enough for him to understand that this must be good music. [...] 

Anders: This. This here isn’t Judas Priest and it isn’t Iron Maiden; it’s something else. I’ve got show this fucking record to Pelle. 

Narrator: Anders nags [his girlfriend’s older sister] to borrow the LP. He’s allowed to, but only for the day, so he bikes home in the rain from Jordbro to Västerhaninge as quickly as he can. 

Anders: And it was like [excited noise], like a cartoon; the evil wolf, their eyes bulge out and we both ran -- because we hadn’t heard the LP, only seen the cover -- ran to the record player och then Mom walks up and is like: ‘Stop! You’re forbidden from using the gramophone.’ And it was like, fucking hell, is it going to die here and then we explained to Mom -- ‘This is an extreme record and we’ve borrowed it for the day and it’s going back tomorrow,’ -- and Mom was super-harsh and was like: ‘It doesn’t matter. [...]’ And then we started negotiating and agreed that we could record the LP onto cassette [because you don’t need volume for that]. So, it was on full-blast the entire night and we recorded it and stood bent over the record scratches and were like,‘Shit, this is good stuff’. 

Narrator: Pelles hard rock style stands out against the usual sweatpant-Bagheera-jacket [style], not least the music. 

Anders: The ideals that existed at that time were that you were supposed to look like Arnold Schwarzenegger, which neither he nor I did [laughs]. You were supposed to be handsome and cool and have some fucking helipad on your head. 

Translator’s note: Anders is talking about a flat-top haircut commonly referred to as a ‘helikopterplattafrisyr’ -- helipad haircut -- in Sweden. Think H.R. Haldeman. I’m not sure what the English term for this haircut is. 

Narrator: Anders and Pelle are apart of a small subculture; extreme metal, with subgenres such as trash metal, death metal and black metal, which provokes with its satanic and morbid symbols. Pelle’s band Morbid pushes the limits of what music can sound like. With his stage-name Dead, Pelle sings on the demo December Moon. The new subculture is not embraced by the adult world. 

Anders: Like, we faced this fucking cultural oppression as hardrockers. It was that time-period… And especially if you wanted to do something that was worse than hard rock; it was completely judged. 

14:52 - 15:53 [Talking about Pelle being bullied] 

Anders: He was beaten at school and to such an extent that he actually died for a while, or however you put it. 

Narrator: There’s an explanation to Pelle’s obsession with death. At 13, he was bullied at school and once, he was beaten so badly that his spleen burst. Pelle’s brother Anders Ohlin tells the story.

Anders: He was beaten to death and had some near-death experience as he was laying in the hospital and he kept coming back to that all the time, and I think you can see that as some sort of theme in his songs too. Like, it’s always about the fact that he was actually there and touched something that he doesn’t know what it is, and that was the engine in all that. He was definitely [at the bottom of the pecking order] at school, precisely because he was a bit… He had his special... his special style and was, like, uncompromising, and that was what singled him out, I’d say, markedly from other teenagers. 

18:07 - 18:30 [Talking about Pelle’s depression]

Anders: He would neglect to eat, just to get a cassette tape out or arrange a gig somewhere. 

Narrator: Anders Ohlin, Pelle’s brother. 

Anders: To be a bit harsh, I think that the others gave up at some point. And that’s my personal interpretation. That he suddenly turns around and notices that he hasn’t got the gang with him. And I think that destroyed him. 

21:50 - 22:30 [Talking about Pelle’s suicide] 

Anders: At first, I was actually really pissed at him… Or, like, angry, enraged. I thought that he’d abandoned us -- which he has. That it was so shitty of him; to just take off and leave this big fucking abscess to the rest of us that just kept growing and growing as the years passed. 

Narrator: Christmases become especially painful for the Ohlin family, because that was the time Pelle usually came home. 

Anders: No one felt good on Christmas Eve. It was like a fucking ghost all Christmas. Brutal. So, I remember that I couldn’t celebrate Christmas at all for a very long time. 

1:06:39 - 1:09:31 [Talking about how he and Pelle’s Swedish friends remember him and his life today]

Anders: All of his Swedish friends see him as this exuberantly happy guy that spews ideas and is funny and has a sense of humor and stuff. Then, it’s like a line is drawn when he goes to Norway and they see him as introverted and mysterious and, like, difficult. And that’s two opposite images. 

Narrator: The Pelle Myth is associated with a lot of darkness and death but that’s not how his brother Anders and Pelle’s Swedish friends remember him.  

Anders: I think that’s been the devastating part, but it, like, helped him build… strengthen that myth. It’s hard being that funny dude and saying that you’re, like, Satan. It’s hard, it becomes, like, silly. 

Narrator: Anders is often reminded of Pelle. Usually because of happy memories but also because of that image that he is fighting to remove; the image that Øystein took of Pelle’s corpse which spread because it became the album cover of a Mayhem bootleg, Dawn of the Black Hearts. The image lives its own life on the internet. 

Anders: It’s difficult. It’s very difficult. 

Narrator: Pelle’s fans often want to become Facebook friends with Anders; he receives 3-5 friend requests per day. Sometimes, the people sending the friend requests have themselves shared the image on their social channels. 

Anders: You say you want to be my friend yet you have an image of my brother from when he’s just killed himself and like… body parts all over the wall. Would you think it was okay if I had an image of your brother like that? ‘What,’ they excuse themselves. ‘Oh, fuck, I’d forgotten that I had that image, that’s… Of course, I’ll remove it and I’m ashamed.’ 

Narrator: When Anders asks people to remove the image, most do. 

Anders: I’m terrified for when my children will start to Google those images… Øystein’s parents inherited the rights after Øystein died and [Øystein’s dad] has destroyed the images and I’ve received the rights, gotten to take over the rights from Øystein’s dad, so if anyone uses them in any form is printed media, I can sue the shit out of them. 

Narrator: It’s a small comfort every time one of Pelle’s fans tells Anders how much Pelle means. 

Anders: Most often, they have some story. They tell me how they’ve had a tough period in life and how they’ve, like, really been at a crossroads or something and feel that they received guidance from Pelle’s music. That warms -- That makes you happy. That really warms your heart. 

Narrator: Pelle’s grave is well-visited and every now and then, there’s a handwritten letter or a box of snus by it. 

[tumbling-darkling]

You Can’t Punch a Ghost

Ch 7. Death comes to those who are assholes

AO3

First | Previous | Next

Katsuki glared at the ice eyed newcomer from across the cafeteria. He hadn’t been able to get into a battle with him yet, his being in the class a threat to his goals of becoming number one. What business did an American transfer student have in Japan? Couldn’t he just go take up space somewhere else? Anywhere else?

Every day he didn’t fight him felt like a punch to the gut. He needed to prove that he was number one in the class! And how could he do that if the little shit kept avoiding him?

He growled as Icy Eyes laughed at something dunce face said, he already was nearly finished his lunch that had been piled higher than the damn nerds! How did that stick figure eat more than deku? He was probably the scrawniest kid in their entire class! Nothing made sense!

Not to mention that look he would notice from him every so often. That glint in his eyes, the taunting smirk, though there was also something else. Something he would spot in those eyes when he would shout at Deku or bump past him. He thought it was recognition but there was something else to it. And he couldn’t place it.

Those didn’t matter though, all that mattered was finding a way to corner the fucker and prove he was the best in the class!

Which had been so much harder than he ever expected.

If there was one thing that icy eyes was good at, it was disappearing. Katsuki tried to trail him one time to corner him, but he turned a corner and vanished by the time Katsuki managed to make it to the corner himself. Even in the halls of the school, one moment he was surrounded by dekus nerd squad and the next! Gone! Vanished! What a coward!

Yet someone had to be fighting him!

He showed up today with a bandage over his nose. Someone punched him in the fucking face and it wasn’t him!

It was as if he avoided fighting Katsuki just to piss him off! And it was working! He will find a way to fight icy eyes! And he will blast apart his shitty ice along the way!

-

-

-

Danny cast a grin towards Mr. ‘I can make my hands explode so I think I’m better than everyone here’. He was glaring at him again and Danny found a cocky grin always got him to look away. He hadn’t really had a chance to interact with the blonde, but he wasn’t exactly too keen on doing so. Mainly since he reminded Danny a little too much of Dash. Especially with how he acted around Midoriya.

Danny didn’t really understand how everyone was unaware of their relationship but it was definitely not an extremely healthy one. Bakugou was aggressive, but he has different types of aggression. A lot of bark and no bite when it came to people he hung around like Kirishima and even Denki. But with Midoriya, it’s like he had some sort of issue with the fact that he was just breathing. The bark would always become a bite around him, and everyone seemed to treat it like normal behaviour.

Danny could handle bullies. He was used to it. He was a small kid in a small town with the weirdest parents a child could ever ask for. He could take a hit, he was resilient even before the accident. It was always better if the bully targeted him instead of Tucker or some other kid, because he could handle it. He could always handle it. He had to handle it because what if those around him couldn’t? Couldn’t protect them from danger, couldn’t protect them from the pain, themselves, the screaming, the crying, the voices that constantly circle in his head, freak, loser, creep! Her voice, her voice always there, in the corners, the deep and dark corners he tried to bury. To hide in- hide from. The voice her voice echoing whispering, haunting what are you? What are you? Some freak pretending to be human? Or a creepy little boy with creepy little powers? A foot in the grave and the other planted firmly on the unforgiving earth, unable to choose, unable to be whole, always torn, always a freak. Just a freak just a freak just a freak just a freak-

Bakugou was a bully to Midoriya, and lately Danny had been drawing his attention. And he was just fine by it.

Ancients, he could even teach him a lesson, one that Poindexter would be proud of.

He may just do that, actually.

An annoying laugh snapped him out of his thoughts and he glanced up to notice a new blonde staring down at him with the most condescending look possible, “oh? Is Class 1-A ever so broken over their recent loss that they had to bring in an American? Oh how your class has sunk so low!”

Danny very slowly blinked then turned to Uraraka next to him, “who’s the kid with the creepy smile?”

The boy took that personally, dramatically flailing backwards, “Creepy? Creepy? I think that out of everyone in this school, you’re the creepy one! My classmates say they doubt you even breathe! What is your quirk? ‘Being useless and weird?’” The asshole reached out a hand and Danny slapped it away, standing up, “oh? Another aggressive type, are we?”

Danny then grinned, briefly flashing his fangs and causing the bully to jerk back, “Why don’t you go bother someone who cares to listen to your insults? I suggest a bathroom, there’s plenty of mirrors in there.”

He then sat back down as the people around him all paused, then the kid looked ready to scream when a girl grabbed him with … massive hands.

Okay. Yeah, sure. Got it. Big hands. Nothing makes sense.

“Sorry about Monoma, I couldn’t stop him when he saw you and basically bolted across the room. It’s nice to meet you, my name is Isuka Kendo!” She introduced herself with a regular sized hand.

Danny very slowly took it and shook it, “what’s his deal?” Danny asked, casting a quick glance at the struggling student in question.

“He has a bit of a grudge, the classes are numbered 1-A, 1-B, and 1-C and he has a bit of a problem not being in class 1-A so he tries to prove our class is ‘better’. Really, it’s more annoying than helping anything, we all have the same end goal in mind.”

“Huh. May need to get a therapist for that,” Danny shrugged. “So what’s his quirk?” He asked right before shoveling a good amount of rice into his mouth.

“He can copy other people’s quirks.”

Danny could feel the blood drain from his face as he dropped his fork and began choking on his rice. Out of all the people in the world, he knew he could probably find a way.

Just as he began sputtering and coughing, Monoma managed to somehow slip out of Kendo’s grasp. He watched in dawning horror as he saw Monoma’s hand flicker in and out of tangibility, making it much harder for him to stand up, though he seemed to manage to roll to his feet with a loud cackle. He copied his ghost powers.

He copied his ghost powers oh god.

“Now let’s see what great and powerful quirk you happen to have, American boy!” Monoma cried.

Danny saw Monoma’s breath mist just as he launched himself in the mimic's direction, knocking him to the ground and holding him firmly by his shirt, “how long does it last?” Danny hissed, he could NOT let his secret get exposed like this. Especially not like this!

Monoma’s face twisted into another grin, “What? Afraid I will use it better than you?”

Danny noticed his hand go intangible again, did he not notice what was happening? Danny lowered his voice, “look my power- my quirk is dangerous. I don’t need you accidentally killing yourself with it-.”

Monoma then coughed, causing Danny to pull back a little as spit got on his face. He glanced back down to see the other boy's eyes wide in horror, a hand now clutching his chest, “this… this doesn’t feel right.” Danny frowned, slightly confused until he realized that Monoma’s skin felt cool. His skin paling, tinging blue. Deathly blue.

Danny didn’t think. Thinking took too long and he needed to fix this now.

So he hefted Monoma over his shoulder and bolted out of the cafeteria, startling everyone as he slammed out the doors and tore down the halls. He spotted the sign pointing to the nurses office and the door itself shortly after, slamming in and dumping Monoma on an empty bed. He spun around, frantically searching the room before spotting a small lady staring at him in surprise. He pointed to Monoma, “I- he copied my quirk and- and I don’t know, something is wrong,” He managed to blurt out without being too obvious.

The doctor lady nudged him aside and leaned over Monoma, a frown causing more wrinkles to form on her face, “and you think it’s because he copied your quirk?”

“I don’t, yeah I think so, I just-, is he dying?” Danny couldn't tear his gaze away from Monoma, he was out cold now but he was just too still. His breathing was shallow but it was still there, thankfully. He just met the jerk but he didn’t want him to die. Especially not because of him.

“His quirk only lasts 10 minutes of usage, but some quirk suppressants may help,” the doctor said as she revealed a syringe. As soon as she finished giving Monoma the suppressants, colour returned to his face, his breathing became deeper and more even, and within a minute, he looked just like he had a few minutes prior to this mess.

As the blonde slowly flickered awake, Danny let out a sigh of relief.

“What exactly is your quirk, young man?” The doctor suddenly asked. “Especially to cause such a reaction, why doesn’t this happen to you?”

Danny froze.

He presented his quirk as ice… but… he got his powers by dying. Did… did Monoma copy the death aspect of his abilities? Was… was his body dying to accommodate the sudden ghost powers? Or could his body just not handle the ghostly powers so it began to kill him?

He swallowed thickly, clutching his right arm tightly as he tried to think of a lie to connect it to his ice.

“Uh-, it’s er, Phantom Ice. Like really weird ice,” He vaguely explained.

The nurse raised an eyebrow, “how is it weird?”

Danny began to scratch the back of his neck, “uh- it doesn’t, it doesn’t melt. Not unless I make it melt.”

“Hmmm, odd indeed. Did you have any complications when the quirk first manifested?”

Danny glanced down at his hands, remembering when the ice first manifested. Well… remembering what he could. Honestly a lot of it was a bit of a blur. There was Sam, she and the town had been taken over by ghost plants. He remembered he had been cold all week, constantly shivering, unable to get warm no matter what he did. Looking for help. Flying, the ghost zone, so much snow… then waking up and Frostbite hovering over him.

“I was… I was cold. For an entire week. It started with an odd shiver, but then it got worse and worse. It got so bad I thought my entire insides were covered in frost or something.”

“Did it eventually return on its own?”

Danny slowly shook his head, then realized that he probably should have agreed with her speculation, “I… have a friend who knows a lot about ice p- quirks. I went to him and he helped me control it.”

“You went to this friend? How old is he?”

Danny nearly fell out of his chair as he spun around to see Aizawa standing in the doorway.

Oh no.

Oh no his lies needed to be more airtight now that Mr. ‘I can see through all your lies and even your soul’ was here. How old were kids when they got their quirks? Six? Eight? It wouldn’t make sense if the friend was the same age as him. Too young for any control. And Danny really couldn’t picture Frostbite as a child.

Okay maybe he could a little. Like a little puff ball of icicles and fluff.

Focus, Danny.

“He-, he’s a family friend. Was always very kind to me and my friends. My parents didn’t like him a lot because of… because of the way he looked.” Wow he just called his parents ghost-ist. Was that a thing? Maybe, he wasn’t sure. Could be. They did hate ALL ghosts. Because they were ghosts. “He had this really cool ice quirk, parts of him were even made out of only ice. So I… kept it from my parents and went to him for help. And he helped me.”

Danny could feel that dark gaze digging into his skull, trying to pick out every detail that Danny had given and piece them into some sort of puzzle that Danny was trying really hard to keep him from completing. “So how did he help you, then?” The doctor lady asked.

Danny kicked his foot a little, “he, uh… well he said my quirk built up in power for too long. Said the power wasn’t being used and because of that it began to build and build until I was almost basically frozen on the inside. He… he managed to thaw me out, told me that if I had waited another day or less, I could have died.” Faded fully dead not just half all the way full ghost

“Hmm, I have one more question. Where does your quirk come from?”

Danny blinked, “uh… my… parents?”

“Not genetically, where does the quirk come from? When you use it?”

Danny lifted a hand, “well, from my hands. I think.”

“You shot it from your eyes during one of the exercises,” Aizawa made his presence known and once more, made Danny jump a little.

The doctor took Danny’s hands, “so your quirk doesn’t come from your hands, do you know where it does come from?”

Danny stared down at his own hands, “I… don’t think so?”

“Well, when you use your quirk, try to follow it. Follow it from your hands to its source.”

Danny glanced between his hands and the doctor, then to Aizawa, then back to his hands. He took a heavy breath, then summoned a little bit of ecto ice energy into his palms. The energy wasn’t ice yet, just the condensed energy before it became ice when he blasted it across the room.

“Good, now follow it.”

Danny closed his eyes, feeling the energy in his palms. Sure enough, he could feel energy in his arms, pooling towards his palms, but the energy also left his palms back into his arms, flowing back into his body. He mentally followed the stream, feeling that returning energy trail up to his shoulder and down into the centre of his chest. Into… his core. His energy, all his power, why hadn’t he noticed this before? The pulsing of the core wasn’t just a beat in his chest, it was more. It was like a second heart. Pumping power throughout his entire body. And when he summoned his ice, the core would pull some power from the rest of his body and then pour what it had within it towards the area he was wanting to expel it from. Everything about his ghost side started and ended with his core.

He slowly pulled the energy back from his palms; now aware of the cold as he felt it travel back into his core. Then gently lifted a hand to tap the center of his chest, “right here. My power comes from here.”

The doctor nodded once more, “I see, it all makes sense now. So your body must have a built up quirk immunity.”

Danny blinked, unfamiliar with the term. “Quirk… immunity?”

“Haven’t been paying attention to your quirk studies, hm?” She slightly teased, “Quirk immunity is when users are immune to the effects of their own quirk. Such as Bakugou, he can cause hot explosions in the palms of his hands but they don’t get burned. Or Endeavor, he can create and control flames, but will never be burned by his own power. Some children are born with this immunity, which can be dangerous and they never truly understand just how much damage their quirk can cause without experiencing it themselves. Sometimes this immunity is built up over time. Such as yourself. A quirk can be too much for a body to handle and may cause effects such as dropping the body’s temperature. With use and control, the user can build up this immunity, where their body slowly adapts to coexist with the quirk. And some users never gain this immunity and must be much more cautious and aware of their power. Such as Midoriya, who is quite a reckless child in the worst possible ways. Midoriya doesn’t have quirk immunity, and his own power tends to hurt his body when used in extreme amounts. His body will never naturally adapt to this power to make him immune to harm from his own quirk, so he must be constantly aware of how much power he is using. He can build up his own strength to handle more of this power, but this is something he must do on his own.”

Danny had to think for a moment in order for the information to all sink in, “... so… Monoma…?”

“Monoma doesn’t copy quirk immunity. He can’t copy experience. And he can’t copy control. Your quirk requires all of these aspects to at least be used to a minimal degree from how you described it. So an attempt to copy and use it instead had the quirk attempt to adapt his body for use. This dropped his body temperature, absorbed his energy, and ultimately slowed all his functions. He will be fine now that the quirk is no longer active, and I suggest he tries to avoid copying yours from now on,” the Doctor gave Monoma a very stern glare, causing him to sink deeper into the bed.

Danny could feel his blood pressure lowering. No one suspected that he was a ghost. Monoma was going to be fine. And now he had a new angle to work with in regards to making portals.

“Is there anything I should be worried about on your end, young man?” The doctor asked.

Danny shook his head in response, “No issues here, medically wise!” he lied. There was always something wrong, he wasn’t fully alive, now was he?

“Then there is no need to crowd my workplace, shoo! Off to class with you!”

Danny shuffled quickly out the door, realizing that Aizawa had stayed behind since he was nowhere in sight.

Should he be worried about him just showing up and listening to his ‘quirk origin story’?

…

Nah.

-

-

-

Danny sat on a street light in phantom mode, fiddling with his hands as he thought about what the doctor told him about his flowing energy. It all came from his core. He had tested around with it more by trying out his other abilities. His ectorays, ecto-ice, even his poor attempt at duplication stemmed from his core. Ancients, this duplication attempt was probably the best he’s ever attempted now that he understood the source of where the energy he needed came from.

The sound of shattering glass snapped him out of his own thoughts and he couldn’t help but sigh in annoyance.

For a world literally filled with superheroes, you would think that would deter crime. Especially petty crimes like these robbers that seemed to believe that heroes don’t work at night.

He stretched a little as he stood up then dropped off the lamp, gently hovering down and appearing right in front of the criminal. Upside down of course. “Boo.”

The criminal yelped and stumbled back, a black mask pulled firmly over their face and dressed in all black. While he couldn’t see their face, Danny did notice how they trembled, the shifting of eyes between him and what they stole. He lost his grin at the sight, he wasn’t usually met with this kind of fear. Usually it was anger, or a sense of playfulness from the really wild criminals. Even the ghosts at home never really showed fear around him, and those that did usually didn’t want to fight. He glanced over at the dropped bag and the person followed his gaze, then quickly snatched the bag close to their chest and they tried to kick away from him.

“Whoa-, wait a second. What’s in the bag?”

“What does it matter to you?” The person spat, “you’re just a hero doing your job and I’m a villain stealing from a store! Just do your job and get it over with!”

Danny held up his hands, “Hate to break it to you, but I don’t get paid for this,” he joked.

“A vigilante then! Even worse!” They growled, eyes scanning over him, their body tense, ready to take a hit.

Danny drifted closer and they flinched, but he pushed forward and reached through the bag, pulling out one of the contents before the person could yank it out of his reach.

A pill bottle sat in his hands, the orange capsule and white lid a dead giveaway. The label had some wildly complicated word on it, and the instructions indicated simple daily dosage amounts that were needed to be taken. “Who are these for?” Danny asked without thinking, unable to tear his gaze from the little plastic container.

“... my brother.”

He finally looked up, drifting to the ground and landing lightly on his feet.

This… was new territory. Ghosts didn’t have the same problems as the living, they had simple motives. Take over the world, be the best, even just cause problems because it’s funny. Living people… they had other reasons other than just boredom.

He forgot about those.

He tossed back the pill bottle and shrugged, kicking at the ground as his gaze drifted up to the sky, “eh, you’re below my pay grade.”

The person blinked as they barely caught the returned item, “... I thought you said you didn’t get paid?”

“My moral paygrade,” he flashed a grin. “Better run off before I decide otherwise.” He saw the flash of watery eyes as the individual got to their feet, taking a stumbly step back as if they were afraid it was too good to be true. “Go on!”

The person finally turned and began to dash away, which was when Danny saw the shadows dance and light tear towards the running figure at lightning speeds. Danny snarled and instinctively threw out an ectoshield in front of the person he just let go, barely saving them from the blast of fire. The person stumbled, but a quick glance between the shield and Danny was all they needed before they managed to disappear down an alley.

“You just let a criminal go. You vigilantes truly are cheap imitations of real heroes.”

Danny could feel cold rage bubbling at his core as he turned to glare at the culprit of the fire. A man with flames billowing from his shoulders and face, while somewhat familiar Danny couldn’t place his name or face based on his growing anger. His rising emotions keeping him from restraining his otherwise toned down ghostly glow, “You could have killed them.”

“So? A criminal stole, they are aware of the possible consequences. Like you’re aware that you too are breaking the law, and I have an obligation to stop you.”

The man on fire blasted more flames in Danny’s direction, which he managed to pull another ecto-shield up in time to block it. The power and heat of the blast was enough to crack it and throw Danny back. His core pulsed, and suddenly the air around him began to chill. Energy pooled into his hand and he whipped the ectoblast at the flaming bastard, nailing him in the face and sending him stumbling back this time. “Who put you in charge of who gets to live and who does not?” Danny snarled, “Who gets to be horribly crippled, traumatized, or murdered? There’s only one who should decide and it’s not you.”

The man wore his own mask of rage, tenderly touching the forming bruise on his jaw from Danny’s blast, “Who the hell do you think you are? A child, lecturing me on right from wrong? Maybe I should teach you a lesson while I’m at it! To respect those who protect the pathetic and weak!”

He used both hands this time, fire twisted out of the air and towards him before he sent out a much larger and much hotter blast. The pavement began to warp from the heat, growing soft under Danny’s feet. He turned intangible, but could still feel the heat sap at his energy around him. He felt the need to get out.

Escape the heat.

Too much.

Too much heat.

He felt like he was going to fall back, his hand flailing behind him before catching on something, he tugged and there was a feeling of cold.

He didn’t even look, just fell into the hole that allowed him to escape the heat.

And then he was behind the man.

Danny blinked.

The man blinked.

Danny grinned.

The man’s face twisted into a scowl.

He lunged for the halfa and Danny easily leapt over his attempts to grab him, weightlessness returning to his being as his rage fell away. Oh, he was still mad. He thought this man was an absolute prick.

But he could absolutely cause more damage by being childish as he kicked this man’s ass.

Not to mention he was pretty sure he made a portal. Something he would have to figure out more about later but that definitely added to his uplifted mood.

“Man you are a flaming asshole. You know that, right? How did you even become a hero? Must have had daddy get you this far. And with an attitude like that, I bet you are at the bottom of the list too!” Danny taunted, hovering right out of reach of the man as he shot little bits of ectorays in annoying places like his cheeks, back of his neck and even his eyes a few times.

“Don’t act like you don’t know who I am!” The man snarled, throwing more flames that Danny very dramatically avoided with little effort. “I am number 2, the most powerful man in the hero industry who doesn’t cover behind fake smiles!”

“Nah, none of that rings a bell,” Danny yawned, pulling out his phone. “What’s your name? Flaming Prick?” He asked as he searched up the name, “holy shit there’s actually someone named that? Who let him do that?”

“Enough of your games!”

Danny stepped out of the way of more of the man’s blasts in the air, even taunting him more with his shitty dancing skills. “Unfortunately, all I have are games so you’re just going to have to suck it up, old man!” He shot a small beam of ice at the man’s feet, encasing them just in time to trip him and send him crashing face first into the pavement. Danny then slammed both his feet into the back of the man’s head as he tried to push himself off the ground, kicking his head back into the pavement with maybe a little more force than Danny intended.

Either way, all of the man’s muscles went limp and his fire decorations went out as Danny then landed on his back, the man now clearly unconscious. He leaned over and melted the ice, getting rid of the evidence that Phantom could use ice as he remembered. Maybe he got a little too cocky in using it.

He then decided to look the man up, searching up ‘jerky flaming hero of Japan’.

Oh.

This was Endeavor. The man who stole his goddamn credit.

No wonder he was vaguely familiar.

A quick scroll through his wiki and Danny found his last name was also familiar… he had heard it before. He stared at the man’s picture, then scrolled a little more before stopping completely to stare at the family portrait.

It was that peppermint head kid! The one Midoriya would talk to a lot!

Holy shit he just beat up his dad.

Danny glanced back down at the unconscious man, then back at the photo on his phone. Man, either this man had two personalities he only used at home or he was probably just a horrible father.

The kids looked miserable in the picture…

Well… it was a good thing Danny always carried a permanent marker on him for humiliation of his really shitty enemies. He had been saving it for Vlad… but that could wait until he got back home. Then he could hand Vlad his ass for leaving him in another dimension and mess up his face afterwards.

-

-

-

“This just in, Endeavor was personally defeated by the new vigilante, Spooky Boy. A bystander managed to record half of their battle when hearing the chaos outside his home. This new vigilante could prove to be a villain based on his actions towards the hero, though no reports of civilian casualties or attacks have been reported. Endeavor himself has minor injuries from the fight, and claims his defeat was nothing more than a mixture of a fluke and a lucky shot.

Many are wondering if this new menace will become the new hero killer after Stain’s defeat just over a week ago. Only time will tell if this individual will cause a casualty and show his true colours.”

Shouta stared at the screen of the television, the burning hot coffee that coated his hands after crushing his cup barely noticeable as he took in this information. A picture of Endeavor’s face was now on the screen next to a video of reporters trying to interview him as he angrily stalked away after his defeat. The picture had many blurred out spots, though some could still make out the drawn contents, which were very crude.

Honestly, the man deserved the face drawings. But what really concerned him was that this ‘vigilante’ had taken out Endeavor. The only reason he was number 2 was because he was powerful. No other hero could challenge him for his position, only All Might held that power.

He felt a pit in his stomach and glanced towards Danny’s room. The boy tended to turn in early, retreating to his room well before 10, though those bags under his eyes may suggest he either had troubles sleeping or stayed up way later than Shouta thought. The report was recent, only happening within the last half hour.

It didn’t hurt to check.

Shouta stepped over to Danny’s room, and heavily knocked on the door, “Danny?” He didn’t get an answer, and Shouta knocked again. Still nothing.

Maybe he was just sleeping. He was a bit of a heavy sleeper.

Shouta opened the door slowly, and glanced around the dark room. His eyes landed on Danny’s bed and he felt his blood run cold. An absolute mess, blankets bunched up or hanging off the side. No sign of the kid himself.

He turned on the lights and quickly scanned the room, already pulling out his cell as he searched the area while speed dialling Hizashi. Just the general mess, no actual signs of struggle, an open window-!

“Shouta? What’s up? Need help remembering something-,” Hizashi’s voice cut through his thoughts.

“Danny is missing,” he stated. “He’s not in his room, I can’t tell if the mess is his or signs of a struggle, and the window is open.”

“Well, is it possible he snuck out like most teenagers tend to do?”

Shouta pinched the bridge of his nose, “maybe, I don’t know. All I know is that the new vigilante from the news was just active and he managed to take down Endeavor. I’ve had a weird suspicion that he’s connected to Danny somehow because he showed up right after he was found. And if he is in anyway-.”

“Then you think he may have taken him,” Hizashi finished. “Alright, you aren’t just paranoid. I guess a ghost of a teenager in all systems disappearing would be worrying. I’ll help you look, as well as contact any other heroes in the area to see if they saw anything.”

“Call me if you find him,” Shouta stated before hanging up and tugging out his capture tool. Here he thought he found a child that wasn’t constantly attracting villainous attention. He never should have gotten his hopes up.

Shouta went out Danny’s window, using his capture tool to swing to the next building's roof and start searching for the teen. He didn’t know how long Danny had been missing, it could have been hours at this point. How far should he search? In one direction? Maybe the area where he first found him? He ultimately decided to cover as much ground as quickly as possible, eventually spotting a glowing streak in the sky.

On instinct, he activated his quirk and the streak faltered before straight up dropping like a rock from the sky. Shouta tried to keep him in his sights as long as possible as he tore towards the vigilante, but eventually disappeared behind a nearby building. He did hear a crash when he got close, he must not have been able to recover his flying abilities when Shouta lost sight of him. But that just worked in his favour.

With a quick turn of a corner, he finally caught sight of the vigilante once more, peeling himself off the roof of a parked car that now had a sizable dent in it. He was just as Midoriya described, though he seemed to have missed a few details.

Like how completely inhuman he seemed.

This just didn’t feel like a physical mutation, the way he moved, how his hair floated, that glow that emitted from his very being. Then his eyes, eyes that glowed too brightly, irises that seemed to swirl like thick syrup, pupils too black next to that bright glow.

Was he one of those things? Those Nomu?

Spooky Boy grumbled to himself as he landed on the ground, looking at his hands and then lifting off the ground like gravity meant nothing. He hadn’t noticed Shouta just yet-.

Then his eyes flickered over and he froze, and Shouta made his move, activating his quirk and whipping out his capture tool. The vigilante tried to take off but he stumbled as Shouta’s quirk erasure took hold and kept him from flying off like before. He adapted though, rolling barely out of reach from the tool and jumping to his feet and yelling, “What did you do?!”

Shouta didn’t answer as he made another capture attempt, his eyes slowly beginning to sting as he refused to deactivate his quirk on this one. From what he heard, this kid was a slippery one. The vigilante tried to do something with his hands, then barely twisted out of the way a second time when that didn’t work. Shouta didn’t give him time to think about dodging a third time, whipping it again just as he opened his mouth to speak, wrapping around him and successfully holding him. “-shit,” was all he got out before he fell over from being restrained.

Shouta pulled out a communicator that connected directly to the York suppressant specialists at the police station, “I got the vigilante, get to my coordinates fast with the strongest quirk suppressors you’ve got.” The kid wiggled around like a worm, even attempting to bite the fabric in an attempt to escape. “What is your connection to Danny?” Shouta asked.

The kid paused, slowly trailing those haunting eyes up towards him, “er… who?”

Shouta narrowed his gaze, “don’t act dumb, you showed up the same time he did, now he’s missing and you’re my main suspect.”

Something was going through this kid's head, but Shouta couldn’t seem to read what exactly that was. “Hehe, we have the same floaty hair.”

This made Shouta blink in surprise at the sudden very childish comment.

A mistake.

He must have realized his powers returned because he was out of the weapon within that split second and out of sight. Literally disappearing as he blinked. “Dammit! Where’s Danny?!”

“He’s fine,” a voice came from behind him, but turning around still didn’t solve the answer of where he went. “Strange, my powers are back, so you have some sort of power cancelling power?” The voice came from his left and another glance proved he still couldn’t see him. “I still have them now too, and they stopped earlier as I was flying… so either you have, like a power beam or it’s sight related… and your hair keeps doing that thing. Up every time I talk.” Was he just taunting him now?

“What are you?” Shouta found himself asking.

“Oh that’s an easy one. I’m a ghost. A Spector. A P̸h̵a̸n̷t̴o̶m̷. In fact, can you tell the reporters my name is Phantom? Spooky boy is just… it’s horrible. Not as bad as Invis-o-Bill but it’s still pretty bad.”

“How do you know Danny is fine? What's your connection to him?”

“Oh there's the heavy questions, alright. Uh-, we are… friends? Maybe? Acquaintances? Yeah. He was being a dumb teenager and got attacked by some villain. Roughed up. Saw him getting picked on, kicked the villain into next week, he insisted on walking back to his home though.”

Shouta didn’t trust anything he said, but he wasn’t sure if it was because of his suspicion of the story and coincidences or the echo to his voice as Phantom made it seem like the air was speaking to him.

“Yeah, I get that a lot. No trust. Got it. Well, I gotta ditch. See ya later, A- freaky older man I have never previously met before!”

Shouta could feel a shift in temperature around him, a chill he hadn’t noticed until now disappearing like fog suddenly being lifted.

He didn’t need to see him to know that Phantom had left.

That’s when his back-up finally decided to arrive, weapons out and looking around for the vigilante he had mere seconds ago. His capture weapon laid loose on the ground, unbroken in any way. Like the vigilante just… slipped through the cracks.

He pulled his weapon back towards him as a detective stepped next to him, “you lost him? Does your quirk not work on him?”

Shouta shook his head, “it works, got him to fall out of the sky with a look.” He bundled his capture weapon back around his neck before looking back over to the detective, “he surprised me, made me blink. Either he’s a quick study or he already knew what my quirk was and used it in that split second to escape. I don’t understand how though. My students with much more destructive powers can’t escape my capture tool, and there was no sign of damage to it either.”

“People have been reporting he can walk through walls,” the detective sighed.

I’m a ghost.

“Can any of your officers track him? A heat signature? Tracks? Anything?”

The officer shook his head, scratching the back of his head as he sighed, “unfortunately, he’s impossible to track. Smell is off the table since he just flies over buildings and out of sight. Not to mention the dogs refuse to even try and track him. His heat signature is actually ice cold, blue instead of red. Not to mention, also useless since he moves so fast. No heart signature either. One of our best that can identify anyone by heartbeat can’t find him because she said she doesn’t hear anything from him. Just a hum.”

“No.. heartbeat?” Shouta paused.

A Spector.

“Yeah, she managed to use her quirk to track down countless masked villains and vigilantes because no two heartbeats are the same. But she can’t find his. Do you really believe he could be an actual ghost?”

Shouta looked over, there was no joking spark to his eyes. “It shouldn’t be possible. Ghosts… even if they did exist… they wouldn’t have quirks. They are based on biology, not… spirits.”

The officer shrugged, waving to his team to pack up, “you’re right. Maybe he just has really messed up biology. A ghost… man, he does fit the gimmick though.”

Shouta watched them leave before taking leave himself, heading back to his apartment. But the thoughts didn’t leave him. He was just some kid who thought he was a ghost, wasn't he?

Why was there so much doubt that swirled through his head? A few weeks ago, he would have had no doubts. Just summed it all up to a very strange mutation.

But that voice. That feeling. Nagging at the back of his mind. It wasn’t… it wasn’t just a mutation, was it? There has to be more to it…

The voice echoed in his mind once more.

A Phantom.

-

-

-

To say that Danny was panicking was an understatement. He had just experienced a rollercoaster of events and emotions and now he was waiting in the living room of a man who took him in and has only been patient and understanding with him from the moment they met. Which was something that was still absolutely baffling to Danny.

First he almost killed someone when they copied his ghost powers. Then he discovered a way to potentially unlock more of his ghost powers by accidental lessons from the school's doctor. And then he finally made a portal which may have only been a few feet apart but it was better than nothing at the moment. Then he found out his temporary guardian's quirks turned out to be to turn off his powers with a very scary stare.

So there was a lot to process. Lots of feelings. Emotions. Stuff he was trying not to think about.

Aizawa didn’t recognize him as Phantom, and Danny wasn’t sure how to feel about that. He should be relieved, right? No need to connect his very dangerous nightly activities to the boy he found in a dumpster. Yet… yet he couldn’t help but be reminded of his parents. How they could never see him in Phantom. Never make any connections to the ghost and their son. Only see an enemy. Something to shoot at. Dissect. Hurt. Hurt because ghosts don’t feel pain, they are nothing but echoes, mimics, and monsters. Would it be the same with Aizawa? Did he end up in another world just to hear the same song playing all over again?

The question he asked Phantom… ‘What is your connection to Danny?’

He couldn’t help but play it over and over in his head. The concern of the tone, accusing, slightly fearful of the answer… but the familiarity of it lacked one key aspect.

When Danny would sometimes go missing and Phantom appeared to be at the center, his parents would scream at him. “What did you do to Danny?” Instantly blaming Phantom, hate so clear in their tone.

… why did Aizawa lack that hatred? Why connect his ghost half to potentially hurting his human half and not have a hint of hate in his tone? Everyone hates his ghost side in some way, for some reason. He had to hate it. It was just something people did. They hate the things they are scared of.

Danny would have just left by now. If this was anyone else, he would have tried to get as far away as possible before someone like Aizawa could piece together anything else.

But…

But…

…

The door opened, Danny couldn’t help himself as he felt himself go rigged as the lights turned and he was exposed by the light. He didn’t want to look at Aizawa, he didn’t want to see those glowing red eyes that scared him so badly as they suppressed his ghost side, made him feel so helpless and lost.

“Oh thank god, he didn’t lie.” Danny heard Aizawa gasp under his breath before he quickly crossed the room without even closing his apartment door. Danny focused on a stain on the couch so he wouldn’t watch Aizawa’s movement, but he could still feel as the man stopped in front of him and crouched down. “Danny? Are you okay?”

That made Danny flinch, but he couldn’t understand why.

“Danny, this is way past your curfew! Do you understand how worried your father and I were?”

“You’re bleeding, I’ll get you a bandage.”

“Is that a cut? What did you do this time?”

“This will help,” Danny didn’t even react as Aizawa put on the bandage. “Danny,” Danny finally looked up and met dark eyes instead of red ones. Worried and concerned eyes. Why did this make him ache so much more than his broken ribs?

They never notice the cuts. The bruises. The poorly hidden limp from a bad fight. He always thought he was lucky that they never noticed. They would have looked like this, but always at the wrong times.

“Why aren’t you mad?” Danny blurted out, then continued without giving Aizawa a chance to answer. “I snuck out! Broke the one rule you have! Got myself into trouble and made you run around looking for me, made you worry and probably wasted your time!”

“... you didn’t make me do anything, and you didn’t waste my time either.”

Danny didn’t understand the anger that was boiling inside of him, and he couldn’t stop himself as he snapped, “of course I did! I could have prevented this if I just stayed inside! Just followed your rules! I don’t-! I don’t get it!”

Aizawa moved, slowly standing from his crouched position before he took a seat next to Danny, “teenagers like to break rules. Why did you sneak out?” He asked in such a calm voice, no anger, no disappointment, just a simple question.

For some reason, it made Danny want to scream, instead he looked away and answered in as steady of a voice as he could muster, “I… I needed fresh air.”

“It was more than just that, wasn’t it?”

Danny buckled slightly under the pressure, “Fine! I needed to get a feel for my surroundings! I need… I need to know where I am, where places are and how to get there and back.” How to get home was left unspoken.

Do you even want to go back home?

“I see. I can extend your curfew if you need.”

Danny jolted, “w-what?”

“I would prefer if someone also would watch your back at such late hours. I have an insomniac student who may be up for late night city wandering.”

“But-, wouldn’t you tighten the curfew? Punish me for disobeying rules? Take away privileges I have?”

“Danny.” Worry basically laced Aizawa’s voice, “cutting your curfew off shorter won’t help either of us. You’re old enough as well to understand right from wrong without punishment. My goal is to help you. If you work better at night, and have needs that only can occur at night, I want to help you achieve it in the safest way possible. Not force you to jump more hoops trying to avoid precautions that I set that won’t help you.”

Danny didn’t know what to say.

How could he?

Aizawa waited a few moments before he spoke again, “I need to ask you something important, about the new vigilante.” Here was the moment that everything fell apart for Danny. “Do you think that he would ever cause you harm?”

Danny looked up in surprise, “uh-! No way! He was super chill!”

“No memories about him wanting to cause you harm?” What a weird question.

“Nope.”

It was Aizawa’s turn to look away, but Danny could still tell he was deep in thought. Then the next question winded Danny.

“Do you remember your parents?”

How was he going to answer that?! Should he pretend his supposed amnesia was partially gone? That he only remembers bits? Yeah- maybe go with that.

“A-A little bit,” Danny lied. “Just… bits and pieces.”

“I see,” Aizawa then slowly stood up, “let’s head to bed. It’s late, and you have school tomorrow.”

Danny glanced at his hands for a moment before nodding. “A-alright.”

He missed his parents… he knew he did. He loved them. They loved him. But…

But something… something about this talk. About Aizawa’s reactions.

Why did it make him feel so sad?

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