#because i know. i KNOW. IF I SAY THE WRONG THING. IF IM ALONE WITH THE WRONG PEOPLE?

[xangrr]

Im giving hell of a credit for this post. I myself have been a victim of a look-alike profile on our roleplay communities when I began to roleplay on TES in 2019. He got kicked ONLY when I myself became the admin, and I did all we (with my friends and people that helped me) could to bring support to other victims we knew. Through years, we kept discovering more and more of them. It's not the people you talk about, but the PATTERNS are sooo much alike between many predators. This thing is insanely common even here so please be extremely careful to all the people you are or aren't even playing with. Be careful of early signs of codepedancy, be careful when you learn someone around you is way younger than the others ; THIS may happen, ONE singular problematic person is susceptible to make dozens of victims. Please, please check on eachother, please please be kind and listen when someone tells you they are uneasy around someone, please take not of everything suspicious. And if yourself are being forced or incline to do things that makes you uneasy, please talk to someone about your situation. The predators want you to feel alone, they want you to have the feeling you're living something unique and special. If you're being suspicious, if a relationship makes you have doubts, if someone wants something from you you dont want to give, if someone seems way too interested in you and pushes into a specific kind of interactions, wants you to talk about sexuality often, wants you to remain silent, wants you for themselves, cuts you from your circle, PLEASE have at least someone that checks on you bc this may save you from something horrific. Once the dependancy is here, you may struggle STRUGGLE to get out. You may be scared to leave and thinking you cant : YOU CAN. YOU CAN AND HAVE TO. If for whatever reason your guts tell you its wrong then LEAVE. You'd be surprised about how much you can trust your guts when they are being torn apart by something your brain cant concieve yet. My guts saved me. Being an admin of a RP community (I will only talk of those communities bc they're the one I know) includes caring deeply about this, and gosh the cases are numerous and often underestimated badly. Im still fighting for some guilds to understand those profiles are using their group to find new people to pray upon. Ah and please have trust when someone tries to get some help. I have many female players that are living hell because of some problematic dipshits that mix RP and IRL in a terrible, unsane way. They are not the only preys, but they do talk to me because I take this very seriously and they have problems being taken seriously. If you encounter someone thats being problematic, PLEASE talk about it with an admin and namedrop it. It will remain an admin thing, but we have to know so we can protect you, protect others and share informations between us about players that have been reported. Dont, dont protect an assaulter. Its easier to say than to do it I know, some grow so attached or want to move on quickly ; but please, do it. They prospere on your silence. Please take care of eachother, and if you are dealing with a community or being the admin or what, please, please listen to all of this very carefuly, study the cases with real attention and get psychicaly ready to have to deal with such things because THEY EXIST and may be currently happening right in front of you without you noticing. ps: bad english sorry if its confusing

THIS USER IS A PEDOPHILE.

They used to go by names "adamanatar" and "moticap" from what I can remember off the top of my head.

I often very much so hate mentioning specific people or making "call-outs." Of any sort, but this one is very important for the TES community, hell, any community they try to join, to NEVER welcome a predator. This person is a genuinely dangerous, horrible human being.

For context, a few years back in the community this person groomed and sexually exploited and abused several minors one INCLUDING myself. I wish not to name the others they abused but they abused people as young as 13 years old, and they were 19 at the time. The abuse that I went through from them I was 16-18 years old and even as recent as this year this person has been trying to harass me.

They abused and manipulated minors into sexual roleplays with them, as well as abusive co-dependent relationships. Many of these situations happened a few years ago so I unfortunately will take quite some time to gather screenshots of events, much of it took place on Instagram in 2019-2020 ish. I'm sure there are still people in the community who remember them. They would often blame their victims for the abuse they put them through.

For me, they forced me into sexually abusive situations several times and threatened to hurt me through blackmail or verbal abuse for around 2 years, which friends of mine can back up and show that they had done so.

I experienced horrible abuse and pain at this person's hands and what they had done to me at such a young age, and that's not even mentioning the very young people they abused. The youngest they abused they victim blamed and blamed their victim for the abuse they put them through, accusing a 13 year old PUBLICLY. I cannot stress enough how genuinely fucking evil they were for making a call-out on a 13 year old that they abused.

They also endorsed and even created several call-outs harassing SEVERAL community members and artists at the time. They were behind several accounts "calling out." Artists for "weird artwork." At the time. Each time they blamed the creation of those accounts on other people around them, when they were the one orchestrating the harassment community members experienced.

They painted themselves as a victim to many people, me included, where they forced me to help them for years with threat of blackmail and isolation. I was severely abused by this person and was unable to find my way out of that abuse until a year and a half ago? My timeline here is messy, I significantly lost track of time because of this monster's abuse. They often hid behind their mental disorders to avoid guilt, "I'm too mentally sick to be responsible." Was often their defense for what they did.

I do not want them to hurt anymore people. They've constantly deleted and remade their socials MANY times over the years to avoid people knowing it's them. This person is genuinely a monster.

I can try to collect old screenshots of everything that happened, this all happened several years ago and I can promise that this person has not changed at all since then. Even this year they tried to steal several of my accounts to try and hurt me more than they already have.

They may try and change their username after this but their art style to me is very, very recognizable.

Please I beg of you, do not give this predator a platform.

[puppyeared]

i feel like. theres designing a character with certain themes and motifs in mind, and then theres making a gijinka for the water bottle on my nightstand

[skunkes]

the bad: i have been raised without much warmth from my parents in childhood, but also pressured to conform to familial authority, doubt myself always, and value familial connections above all else (<- failed at this, and feel guilt about it.)

but also in experiencing this i have been so isolated from the entire rest of the world and others, that it will be nearly impossible to create my own "family" -> find safety and comfort in anybody else once my family is Gone. despite dis i find it really difficult to break away from the familiar, disobey and disappoint, because, well, why are my wishes more important than anybody else's. why would I cause upset and distress in anybody, and exert so much effort into my doubt filled half decisions, for my meaningless little Wishes. being away would also mean less time with these people who I'll never see again once they're gone. being raised this way is definitely paying off for those who did so.

the good: yaaaay adjacent inspiration for writing talon lore

[ratatatastic]

lmaoooo maffhew wanting the knot immediately and having to wait for sasha to catch up with that is so deeply funny like. this omega is not subtle and you’re not a stupid alpha babe! can only imagine what benny has to say to maffhew about it once he catches on and stops banging his head against a wall

idiots to lovers is always great but especially when its two people who would be hitched with 10 kids by now if they stopped being dumb for a single second like its that easy and yet...

to me they very much fall around the same time (infatuation at first scent if you will) just that sasha takes some time to get there not because he's dumb (okay he's a little dumb) but in the sense that its like "this person is very interested in me, i can see and recognise that but theres so much cognitive dissonance in my brain right now between knowing that intrinsically and finding that hard to believe so i unintentionally play dumb because obviously i'm reading too much into things it cant be me they're interested in haha that'd crazy but they're being awfully touchy and flirty with me wow"

but also it takes two to tango and we have to acknowledge that and this is when i would love to bring up the ways in which this man decides is the best way to go about that because he is a catholic school girlie... there's so much hilarity to be had here especially because his flirting is very uh how you say... a little ass backwards if you will especially considering dynamics

"I make it a point to keep the door closed when we're alone in a room together! That's basically a clear invitation that I'm down to fuck!!! Im basically asking to be ragdolled on his knot!!!"

and Benny just pinches the bridge of his nose like "I don't know how to explain to you in a way you'll understand that not everyone went to Catholic school."

But saying that Sasha does side-eye the door knob heavily when Maffhew goes over to close it the first time and he starts sweating like he just got dragged into a game of 7 Minutes in Heaven he did not sign up for and he's 13 again and oh god he got paired with a really cute girl, and he hasn't even had his first real kiss yet and-

And then absolutely nothing happens because Maffhew is just waiting with a polite expectant smile (because his work here is done, he did the heavy lifting know it's Sasha's turn) and this is when Sasha's dynamic classes training kicks in and he basically scolds himself for even assuming in the first place because this is clearly a show of trust (correct) not an invitation for extra circular activities (incorrect buzzer noise) and it basically becomes "This Omega really trusts me, I'm honoured especially as Pack Leader that I'm able to be so accepted into such a private space with the inherent knowledge that I will not encroach their boundaries whatsoever because consent is verbal, this is not in any way an invitation to take advantage of them this is deep platonic trust I will guard with my life :]"

and if you listen closely you can hear the lovely sounds of Maffhew bashing his head into a wall about how much of a gentleman Sasha is but also COME ONNNNNN... you know... once Maffhew realises what's happening which (looks at my watch) is not due for another few months really

Battle of wills: unstoppable force (maffhews catholic school understanding of dynamic interactions) vs immovable object (overseas alpha cotillion classes)

And if you think it's an Oh! An overseas dynamic thing! It's not. The Euros are watching the horrible car crash in front of them and doing absolutely nothing about it because it's none of their business, but they will stare at it... maybe judge it a bit but definitely are observing from the tall grass.

and I'm also not saying that luosty lundy forsy and bobby have a current running bet of how long it'll take for maffhew to break sasha in but i'm also not not saying that... luosty goaded lundy in the midst of a gossip session ("It has to be 3 months, right?) forsy happened to be around so lundy turned to him for advice ("7 months.") and maybeeee bobby overheard from all the way over from his stall and puts in his two cents for what it's worth ("6. Captain nice but not that nice. Very impatient." "So 3!" "No. Impatience makes him double the time, and wait longer. 6 months.") (lundy finally settles on a good 5 months because he's indecisive)

And Sasha does eventually pick up everything maffhew is throwing down... eventually... and when he does it becomes more so I want to court this omega the way they deserve I will take this slow and romance them sweetly :) *smash cut to maffhew caterwauling like a cat in heat*

but also once again its not like maffhew is helping sasha in any way this is idiot4idiot and benny would like to enjoy the car crash with the euros but unfortunately that's his soulmate, thats his bestie, his littermate from birth who has been weaned on the same teat as they climbed over each other to get to it, the first girl you kissed in your childhood bedroom because somehow you started play fighting on the bed because she was like i could totally pin you down easy and then she does and you always noticed how beautiful she was but shes even more gorgeous when she's pinning your wrists to your hannnah montana duvet you promised yourself youd changed out before she came over but you forget and well she teased you about it and you cant help but giggle about how perfect this all is and it seems that the natural conclusion to this is to taste the strawberry lipgloss of her lips because whats a kiss between besties huh its tacky and sticky and it tastes like summer and just other apt metaphors to put here about the inherent -isms of their relationship that i nearly cant put to words properly other than girls having fun (they are fucking)

and well anyways benny is watching and he has a lot of things to say about how its been proceeding so far

"You should really use your words."

"I am!"

"Right because smelling like a fucking perfume shop in the middle of October is using your words."

"This usually works with most Alphas okay!"

"Sasha isn't most Alphas."

"Tell me about it." Matthew grouses before he peeks over to Sam, looking up from beneath his eyelashes—the exact way he knows both endears him to Sam but also absolutely miffs him all the same, "Worked on you, didn't it?"

"Oh, is that what we're doing right now? We're calling getting a lapful of a preening O in preheat in the middle of a roadie a normal way to go about these things."

"It worked didn't it?" Matthew reiterates.

"It would work better if you use—"

"Okay! Alright!! I get it!!!" He does not.

like benny here is unfortunately an active listening participant in the going ons of the fuckery if not because hes involved by proxy because of maffhew because who else will hold his hair back as he calls him a dumb bitch you know

[blusical]

"i miss drunk kane" yeah uh considering the shit that he'd fucking get into whenever alcohol was involved, I'd rather NOT people miss that era, actually!

[asklesbianonceler]

I have not posted any of my analysis to reddit yet and I think I might just post it and ghost it. I've already spent too much time looking at other people's threads on there to feel any way good about interacting with folks.

I already went in an added the "I know you're going to bring this up let me save you the time" section which is exclusively touching on the frequent topics of:

"well what about the fingerprint nostrum and finger mimics? He is clearly just a crackpot"

And

"it's definitely some weird elaborate sacrifice to Metyr thing"

[the-gayest-sky-kid]

aroace joy vs aroace loneliness fight

[keroronpa]

its getting bad again but i persist

[weezerlvr228]

why he so mysterious…

demur

[arolesbianism]

I may be failing my plan to not make any isat aus. So there's this guy her name is Euphrasie right. What if I took her and combined what could be 3 separate au concepts into one. And in the process forced myself to go back and reread a bunch of shit to make sure I know how to maximally fuck over this sad wet puppy of a woman

[wild-at-mind]

I get why people like the whole queer existence is resistance thing. I don't personally, because I think it puts a tonne of intracommunity pressure to exist in the 'right' way, I.e. the way that is 'radical' to the person currently scrutinising you. As a person with OCD that manifests in self scrutiny that I have to constantly concentrate on to avoid it becoming self hatred, I'm never going to be a fan of that. I kind of feel this way about any kind of assimilation conversation with regards to queerness really. I think it's an important conversation within irl communities who already care for each other- who shows up for others outside of their own interests and who doesn't, etc. But the internet makes things so impersonal and cold. It encourages people to make very serious snap judgements about others who they don't even know, and to encourage others to believe that about them. None of these people are in community together in any meaningful sense, or they wouldn't treat each other so ungenerously.

Anyway I had a bit of a realisation earlier- I think we have to tell ourselves our existence is inherently radical all the time because we're always getting the subtle message from our community and the wider activism community that having a good time or enjoying yourself is somehow bad, or insulting to people in dire straits. But instead of challenging that idea we say no it's OK because I'm doing activism simply by being here. I think it's fine to feel that way and in many ways existing as a marginalised person really is radical. I just want to make sure we aren't internalising the idea that we can't ever be happy or having a fun frivolous time without justifying it, and passing that idea along to others without meaning to.

[dizzybevvie]

"not pro-ana just using the tags" "pro-ana only for myself" Ok but you see how you're still hurting people right. you see how you're perpetuating this mindset for other people by posting about it right.

[summoner-of-mist]

man im having a wanting to die kinda night again :(((((((((

im trying so fucking hard to make friends but i guess i just cant and just gotta die instead

[macrocosmus]

no words make me more upset than "you live in america, speak english." my great-grandparents were forced to assimilate and now a century later the same bullshit keeps getting pushed on folks... i felt so much joy in high school when all the asian kids across different cultures realized they all never spoke english that much at home, so they didn't need to speak english with their friends either. i feel so much joy when im just out at the grocery store and hear so many different dialects and languages, it's mostly spanish i think, and that's just good. and now im jealous. i wasn't born to be monolingual. im mourning something that was taken from me decades before i was even born. im supposed to know italian, i was supposed to be at least bilingual, and now im stuck monolingual throwing myself at language learning resources as an adult, desperate to try to wrap my brain around something that should have been there since before i spoke my first words. and its a slim chance i'll actually be able to walk along side someone and have a conversation in anything other than english, at least for a long time, because its not just knowing another language that i need, its speaking it, not as an exercise, but in mundanity.

i wasnt supposed to be monolingual, and now im struggling to fix that as an adult

[vagoonabeach]

.

[sensitivegoblin]

I need the release of jerking off to get rid of the stress/anxiety but right after the release screaming depression comes in🙃☠️