#because i know they aren't that close but their dynamic is so fascinating

[vanmarkus]

Do you think about Chimney saving Tommy's life a lot? Because I do.

I think about Chimney and Tommy a lot actually.

Chim saved Tommy, because Chim is a damn good firefighter and an even better paramedic; he understood what was happening and knew that Tommy's life was in danger.

in not so many words, but Gerrard basically said that "if Tommy can't save himself, then he might as well die in there" on one hand because he didn't value Tommy more than a pawn that was only worth something because he was a straight white guy (or so he thought), and on the other hand because he didn't seem to care for anyone's expertise on the team in general and he sure as hell didn't even consider listening to someone like Chimney.

but Chimney isn't just great at his job and was great at his job already, but he is a born hero (which was so clearly demonstrated by his competence during the karaoke bar fire and in 7x06 where he was suffering from a life threatening encephalitis, yet he still jumped in to help and save lives) and he values life, no matter what.

Tommy was standing on the sidelines while Chimney listened to scathing remarks and was told to stay behind and do nothing, he was chummy with the other guys and in Chimney's eyes he belonged to their circles. but a life is a life and a team is a team, so in he went to save Tommy, despite Gerrard's ignorance.

but it doesn't just speak volumes of what kind of man Chimney is, it's also where Tommy's growth really started. because no one else went back for him, no one cared that he was passed out inside and even after being dragged out of that building, the others were making jokes at his expense — no one viewed his life as worthy of saving, not his teammates and not his chosen father figure of sorts; Gerrard treated him like he was weak for it, if anything.

so for Chimney to show that his life was worth saving, that the values he absorbed from the others at the then-118 were wrong was something brand new for Tommy — and sure he had a lot more of growing left to do after and he only started to be honest with himself and others about himself after he left the 118. but it all started with Chimney.

and probably this is why he jumps immediately to risk his job and his life, whenever Chimney asks; because the way he gets to live now and that he even gets to live is all thanks to Chimney.

Chimney was the first person to ever treat Tommy like he was worth something and that's not something you easily forget.

[dreamerdrop]

Garashir just ticks like. Every box in every way, in thousands of different ways, all at once.

The moral ambiguity. The trauma. The angst. The shared sense of humour. The age gap. The constantly switching power dynamics between two people who refuse to be open with anyone, including themselves. The inherent "I know I don't always know you but I trust you and I'll do this for you" that comes with all of that.

The refusal to walk away, the mutual fascination and obsession, the willingness to bend their own sense of self to try and see the other more clearly.

They are both so traumatised and so lonely and have so much difficulty connecting to others, but they form such an immediate easy connection that goes beyond being friends or not friends. They are both so terrified of someone seeing them for exactly who they are because they think that person is grotesque and unlovable, but they're not.

Neither of them is the monster they think they are, and they see that in each other but not in themselves. Even when they aren't together, even when they aren't around, their character arcs are so wrapped up in what they've brought to one another.

Julian becoming darker, letting go of so much idealism out of fear of losing those he loves, and Garak stepping up, slowly becoming a person he thought he could never be, someone who is kind and heroic, even if he'll still do horrible things, he will do them because he's doing it to help someone who needs that help, for the greater good. Garak demonstrating through the person he becomes that Julian was never, never wrong for trusting him, for believing in him, for forgiving him.

Garak becoming someone through the war who validates all the idealism that the war made Julian try to kill off inside himself, that he thankfully never really could.

They're both self-sacrificing to a fault, Julian revels in it, wraps himself in it as a defence from all his self-loathing and pain, and Garak tries so hard to deny it to himself, to pretend he would never put anyone ahead of himself, ahead of Cardassia, but he does, again and again. He is far more selfless than he gives himself credit for, and likewise, Julian deserves far more selfishness than he allows himself to indulge in.

The shared pride and hubris giving way to the broken foundations they were both raised upon, moulded into someone they hated by parents who let them down, by a universe that couldn't see them beyond labels and histories and crimes. So closely guarded with names chosen for themselves, peppering hints of themselves without ever giving enough away to anyone who won't work for it.

But they do work for it, for each other. They see those little hints, they piece them together for each other because it matters, it matters if it's for them.

They're mirror images and opposites and so different and so similar, and they wouldn't be who they are without each other, pulling them along into becoming someone new.

I don't care if they were in love or not, it's such a tiny speck in the giant abstract mess that is their entire relationship. Lovers, friends, family, a spy and his mark, a doctor and his patient, a friendly acquaintance, a distant former comrade, it doesn't matter.

They're just... everything.

[fist-of-vengeance]

thinking about how essentially every relationship john locke formed in the early seasons of lost has completely disintegrated by the time of his death.

of course there's his relationship with jack, which starts tense but manageable and culminates in jack pointing a gun at john's head and pulling the trigger. but even his smaller, less narratively prominent relationships either implode or drift apart. he bonds with walt in season one but then walt leaves the island, which is itself a severing of their bond since it was mainly based on being the only two people who wanted to stay. still, he goes and visits walt off the island so this is probably john's most successful relationship. I dont think i need to explain how he fucked up with boone, "the sacrifice that the island demanded." charlie viewed john as a mentor and claimed to trust him more than anyone on the island, but after the events of fire and water, that trust is destroyed and charlie despises him. at the same time we get john bonding with claire and having a pseudo-paternal dynamic with her, but their closeness basically drops off the face of the earth as he gets less and less involved with the other survivors.

his arc in the series is essentially a gradual distancing from everyone around him. it starts when he abandons hunting (providing for the others) in favor of trying to get the hatch open (it's extremely clear his primary motive isn't any survival applications but getting answers to the mystery). when they do open the hatch, he spends more and more time inside, underground, cut off from other people. he spends more and more time interacting with ben, a human mystery box that he's obsessed with cracking even if it gets him killed. he follows the proverbial white rabbit deeper down the hole and leaves his connection to humanity behind. the island and its mysteries become more important to john than anything or anyone else.

then in season three we get him claiming to go undercover with the others only to unceremoniously tell sawyer that he's actually going to join them. and it doesn't feel shocking, it feels inevitable. because john has spent the entire series becoming less and less connected with the people he arrived with. in that sense he actually makes a fascinating foil to juliet, who is introduced as one of the others and yet never really fits, she's increasingly sympathetic and kind in a way the rest of them aren't, her redemption arc feels so natural that she actually starts referring to her old people as "the others" like she's been one of the crash survivors from the beginning. her and john basically have inverse arcs, which is probably accidental but very neat.

in season five john tries to convince everyone to go back to the island, and fails spectacularly. and of course he does, because he was so consumed by obsession that he stopped maintaining his relationships, and in many cases actively alienated people (this is also basically what happened with helen) and now he can't wrap his head around why they're all so hostile to him. i am forever obsessed with the scene where he confronts kate and she brutally calls him out for wanting to return to the island because he doesn't love anyone. it actually struck me on rewatch how well the two of them got along in season one, and how badly their relationship has degraded by this point. john repeatedly casts aside interpersonal relationships in favor of his obsession with destiny, so when said destiny actually involves persuading the people he once shunned, he's at a loss. this is because john treats purpose as a supplement for connection, destiny as an alternative to love.

as an aside, this aspect of john's character kinda ties into my opinion that several lost characters can be read as allegorically neurdivergent under a certain lens. i know this was absolutely not intended, but as an adhd former gifted kid who struggles socially, there is something uncomfortably familiar about a character who allows their relationships to burn around them because of a single-minded obsession, especially as a result of being promised the fickle status of "special."

tl/dr: john locke is a doomed idiot and i love him

[mossy-green-aka-ferrythem]

You know... I have thought a lot about Messmer.

Whether or not he ever left the Realm of Shadow, what matters is that one must think about how deeply heartbroken he must have been by his banishment.

Even speculation as to whether or not he ever saw Leyndell adds to this because imagine. Your mother, your guiding light, creates her perfect, shining, Golden Order, and she looks at you and decided that you are not in it. You will never be in it. Because you stand as a testament to her mistakes. Even though you were a favorite of her's, the serpent that writhes within you is her shadow, and as her son, that serpent has become something that defines you. It has defined you from day one. From the very moment you carried out her graceless purge, you have fully made yourself a son of Queen Marika the Eternal, as that is what Marika has come to embody. Any warmth that was within her instead shines out in a hollow facade, and with that facade, comes the shadow that shows the truth. The truth being you, Messmer.

Messmer is such a fascinating character. He clearly looks up to Marika so much. After all, she is the woman that defined his entire existence. He was most likely the closest to Marika out of all of her children, and his abandonment set an example. I cannot think of any other example of any of the demigods that personally interacted with Marika, only hearing her name echoed through legend. Only candidate I can think of is Godwyn and... well we all know what happened to him.

Anyways Messmer hits close to home because like. He's such a gloomy figure. The dungeon where you find him as a boss, Shadow Keep, is so extremely desolate throughout, even the research hall feels deeply depressing and vacuous. When you find him, he is in the dark, his serpent and flame writhing within him, sitting by a statue of his Mother.

Now I feel as though my thoughts aren't fully formed right now, but god. The dynamic between Messmer and the Tarnished really gets me. Think of it. Marika, someone who represents a golden, holy light that shunned him for his Gracelessness, has summoned you, a Tarnished, bereft of Grace, to succeed her and become Elden Lord. Think of it. How unfair that is to him. Messmer, son of Queen Marika, made to become a symbol of fear, someone truly unforgivable, like his own Mother, only for her to cast him away for that curse that dwelled within him, that serpent at the base of everything, her deep sin, so she can create her Golden Order, and be at peace knowing that her shadow is hidden away, beneath her, suppressed. Banished, completely forgotten, wiped from every historical record, not a single thing in The Lands Between that list his name. Him, made by her to be forgotten, being uncovered again by you, the Tarnished, someone from outside the Land of Shadow, and just. It is just such a shock to Messmer that such a thing happened. That his Mother's interest lies in a figure that in some ways, is not dissimilar from him. It must just feel so unfair. He's shorn of light, a shadow, abandoned by Marika. While you. You are Tarnished, without Grace, only guided by it, and Marika has chosen you, and others like you... and not him. I believe his commentary about his purpose, him embracing you with his flame, is out of envy, out of him trying to talk from a high position he doesn't have. All of this climaxes with his second phase, where he finally rips out his Mother's seal, and embraces oblivion. He stops living a lie. He realizes who he is. Cursed by shadow, fallen down into oblivion, merely a coiling, base serpent, embodying vice. Embodying all his cruelty, all of it completely taking him over.

All of this means that the only worlds he can say as the last of his life leaves him, are these words that just say it all.

"Mother... Marika...

A curse...upon thee..."

His mothers love has long since left him, abandoned him, and this is all he had left, until the end, where he finally realizes everything.

[sillykitty9000]

Ready To Pay In Full by Teethies on AO3 is a masterpiece and I need to talk about it right now

Mild-moderate spoilers ahead + Cw: mention of sexual harassment and abusive power dynamics

First of all, how the fuck was THAT written in only 4 days? 10k words of beautifully thought out in-character plot? In 4 DAYS??? Good lord, that is incredible! Also, Teethies mentioned that this was their first time writing fanfiction? Unfair if you ask me. (/lht) It was wonderfully written, and I can not believe how much I enjoyed it.

Chapter 1: It opens beautifully. The descriptions are rich, and the characters are so real. Not only is Teethies's voice portrayed well throughout the story, but the characters' voices are seen wonderfully, too. It briefly, but not inconsistently, fills in the end of OUAW and sets the scene in a realistic way. It is admirable how Teethies can make both Kremy and Gideon in character even without having them speak; their body language shows expression without any semblance of "He did this, he moved there." I really enjoy how Teethies handles small details, like how Gideon’s hair leaves ashes on his new shirt; it's not necessary to the plot, but it gives the story so much more life. Gideon and Kremy feel real in the way they interact, and they are sweet in the way that only they can be. Vague flirty remarks just before moderate insults. Reading this feels like I'm listening to their campaign with how accurate these characters are. This whole chapter explores character history, especially Kremy’s, and it really goes in-depth as to why they each do the things they do. Again, they're all so in character that it feels like I'm really there. Even the subtle nonverbal reactions feel like the characters, and it's really sweet seeing Kremy and Gideon interact in the way they're so used to. Outside help brings them a bit closer, and it's a really nice way of showing how close they are, even if they aren't explicitly romantic. Again, I really appreciate how in-depth this story goes with Kremy’s history. I never really considered what his past before the Carnival but after his childhood would be like, but Teethies perfectly explains why Kremy is so powerful and how he knows so much about Garou. It really paints how Kremy behaves, and I loved every second of the first chapter.

Chapter 2: How this fic somehow IMPROVED upon their first chapter was something out of a dream. As someone who hasn't caught up on the campaign entirely, I don't know much about Mr. Garou, other than they owe him money, but Teethies does a wonderful job characterizing him in a way that feels canon and makes me understand the motivations of the characters through the story. Also, Teethies makes him a completely horrible person in a truly aggravating way. He is unredeemable, he is unlikable, and he is perfect for that. Not once was I thinking that he may change his ways, and it makes the morally questionable Kremy and Gideon seem like good people. It made me feel bad for them, and it made me enjoy their character just that much more. This chapter definitely favors the view of Gideon as opposed to the Kremy central story of the first chapter, and it really shows their differences. Kremy’s chapter was anxious. It was so obviously fearful, but it had the comforting figure of Gideon beside him. In this chapter, however, there is no comfort. Gideon is angry, he is concerned, and he has no one to turn to. He is supposed to be the protector, but he quickly learns how powerless he is in the face of Mr. Garou. Around here is where Mr. Garou gets really gross. Again, he is an unforgivable evil man, and Teethies portrays him as such. The way he talks to Gideon, but especially Kremy, makes me a bit sick. He is so cruel, and it makes you feel bad for all that Kremy has had to put up with. Gideon naturally responds with anger, but he then has suggestion cast over him. This part is actually fascinating to me because I've never considered how suggestion would work. I love how Teethies describes it as comforting magic because that really ties in to the wisdom mechanics of the game. Gideon could choose to disobey, but Kremy is mentally praising him and is so happy to see how well-behaved he is. He must be a bit scared to disobey because he feels that Kremy could leave at any point and never take him back, and that's where his wisdom fails him. He does not know that Kremy cares about him as much as he does, and that's why he submits so easily to suggestion. He does not want to lose Kremy over something like disobeying orders. We see again how badly Gideon does not want to lose Kremy at the end, where they find themselves in an argument over the entire scene with Remy Garou. It wonderfully breaks down their feelings into a soft scene, and it concludes a fantastic story.

This fanfiction was incredible from beginning to end, and it made me go through so many emotions at any given point. While there is romance, it is not the main focus which is fantastic. It really dives into the depths of each character and how they exist in their world, but also shows the inner workings of their minds without being too invasive. It was a fantastic read, and I highly recommend it.

[adamnablelittledevil]

Hello,Can you rank your Armand favorite relationshipw and why ? (I just love reading opinions , nothing serious)

Hi!

Fistly, thank you for the question! I get sometimes sending messages can be uncomfortable and you may not receive the nicest answers, but you don't need to explain yourself. Whether is a fun or serious question, asking my opinion or sharing your own: I LOVE talking about this universe and always welcome it.

Anyway, now to ranking!

P.S. This is long and contain spoilers. These opinions are based on the sequence from The Vampire Lestat to The Vampire Armand and aren't necessarily permanent.

Lesmand / Armandstat

Favorite relationship on the books as a whole for basically three reasons: it's always interesting (even on its smallest moments), they are deeply mirrored so it provides a compelling dynamic and is often intense. They are two sides of the same coin and parallel one another so much in terms of personalities and experiences. From their first interaction, it already seemed that they knew each other their whole lives because they could read one another like an open book. There is this mix of unconscious, but immediate recognition, understanding, curiosity, care, attraction, insecurity, fear, anger and frustration because they're the only ones that fully get each other. It's one thing to know someone for what they share or you observe, but you only fully comprehend somebody when you have a lot in common like they do. Still, that's terrifying because you're completely bare, vulnerable and forced to confront stuff you want to run away from. They have a lot of sharp dialogue and arguments where they throw the hardest truths on the other's face and they know how to push each other's buttons from day one. Yet, the fascination, affection and protection are still there and they always stay somewhat close. And that results in a lot of first class tension: what brings both together also pulls them apart and they're often fighting so many conflicting emotions (as a duo and individuals) because they keep going back and forth. Obviously, they're far from perfect and have both tremendously hurt one another verbally, physically and with Claudia's death (which Armand's is responsible for). But even then, they were never enemies or rivals. I get why people would use such words, but I think they would need to hate or wish bad things for each other to be classified as such and that's never happened. Even if they did something to give that impression, it wasn't genuine and they made themselves suffer in the process too. There was definitely hate for words said and things done, but for the person it was always love. Through the good, the bad, the ugly and the complicated. This dynamic defies definitions and there aren't enough words in any language I know to fully and precisely categorize or desxribe even it. For better or worse, they're on a league of their own and I've never seen anything like it on books, movies or TV shows.

2. Armand x Bianca

I love Bianca. She's been such a great addition and it's a breath of fresh air whenever she appears. It was so satisfying to see them being friends, connecting and Armand having something that was entirely his own without Marius being involved (though considering the pattern of this book, it will probably change). I also enjoy the fact they met and bonded as humans, you know? There's something lovely and unique about it since most pairings had one or both parties already being a vampire on their first encounter. And another sweet thing is that even centuries later Armand still emphasizes how he'll never forget her. They have become really special to me.

3. Armand & Riccardo

Usually relationships where one is a small or Marius is somewhat involved don't work for me, but that's an exception. Riccardo isn't as developed as Armand and part of this (creepy) palazzo where Marius keeps several teenagers/children in, but you do know enough to grow attached to him. Actually, given the situation these boys are in, I ended up caring about the ones who don't even have a name. And despite the proximity Marius has to them, the kids have friendships of their own. Obviously, this isn't the healthiest environment and they all deserved better, but I'm so glad they had each other and a sense of family (specially because some of them don't even remember their own relatives well anymore). That brings me some kind of comfort. There are these moments when Armand gets emotional thinking about how much he loves them all and would die for them and when he almost does and they're all (with Bianca) crying and Armand is surprised by their reactions because they loved him so much... It really moved me So, I adore them.

4. Armandiel

The Devil's Minion chapter is one of my top favorite pieces of The Queen of the Damned. Its best aspect is seeing Armand on his self-discovery journey and how Daniel was just patient and supportive. And that's so important, because a big part of Armand's characterization is how he has no sense of identity. He's gone through so much trauma since early and formative years and always adapted to please others or even make out alive. This made him lose key parts of his memory and every sense of self and he definitely needed that. So, to see Daniel not tell him what to do, but instead let him try new stuff, see what he loved or not, on his own terms and pace and Daniel just going along with him... It was wonderful. The only downsides is that I believe Daniel deserved more individual development and it was rushed. Twelve years deserved more chapters, probably books plural. That said, I bet the show will take its strong points and only elevate their story. And I can't wait because I've already lost my mind with them on season 2 (they have my favorite scene on the show, by the way).

Honorable mentions:

Armand & Benji + Sybelle

Haven't seen a lot of them, but Armand opened his book saying he was full of love and excitedly talking about these children he took in. There's also this moment he asked David if he liked his kids and he just sounded like a proud dad. It was adorable. I'm definitely looking forward to seeing more of them.

Armand & his family

There's been very little of them and I doubt there will be more, so I can't talk about their relationship per se, but the chapter they say goodbye is devastating and beautiful. Those recent posts of me losing my mind were because of it. I've never cried so much with art and rarely cried like that even in real life. It was an experience I'd never had before and an emotion I didn't know was humanly possible. I was mentally, emotionally and spiritually touched to the point of exhaustion. It's been the best part of The Vampire Armand, if not of the whole chronicles. And it will stick with me forever.

[thewildsophia]

3Below//Krel Tarron x Depressed!Reader

A/N: Re-watching 3Below has reignited my love for Krel. There also aren't any Krel x depression out there so fuck it ima do it myself. For these headcanons, I imagine the reader to have Major Depressive Disorder as opposed to any other kind of depression bc that's what I have. Enjoy!

TW: S//H, S//I, Adult Language

Another warning will be placed before sections containing the above.

Words: 2485

"Read More Link” placed due to length.

Krel Tarron x S/O w/Major Depressive Disorder

At first, Krel would not understand. That is, he wouldn’t pick up on the fact that you have depression. 

His knowledge of human sociology and behaviors is very limited when he and his sister first land on Earth. However, even after he’s spent months here he still struggles to understand and pick up on social cues. 

So even though you exhibit very obvious signs of depression — i.e. lack of energy/appetite, excessive sleeping, and loss of enjoyment in activities — Krel doesn’t suspect anything inherently wrong with you. He thinks that your personality is just different from your other human counterparts. 

And to be fair, for as long as he’s known you, you’ve always acted this way (because you were depressed-). 

You would definitely have to tell him you’re depressed because otherwise, he would never figure it out. You ended up telling him during a period of lucidity where you didn’t feel too bad and were conscious of his lack of understanding of your behavior. 

As you tell him, Krel stares at you intently, committing everything you're telling him to memory. 

Now he really doesn’t understand. 

This whole time he thought you just have a different temperament from the other humans at your school, but in reality, you were suffering from a serious illness that he had no idea you had.

Tbh, Krel’s not ok for a few days after you tell him. For a brief moment, he’s angry that you didn’t tell him sooner, but he quickly understands why and his anger dissolves into sadness. He feels so terrible about not picking up on the fact that you’re constantly in pain and that he’s done nothing to help you. 

Krel spends the next few days after you told him researching all about depression and other similar mental illnesses. He’s honestly a little fascinated by how many illnesses there are lmao. It’s just that on Akaridia-5, there aren’t illnesses like that, so he’s happy to learn something new (even if it’s not under more favorable conditions). 

Krel has a lot of questions about your flavor of depression for when you’re mentally ready to answer such questions. 

Tbh, he’s a little insensitive with some of his questions, but that’s just because he doesn’t know any better. Correct him (politely) and he’ll make sure to be nicer with his questions. 

Not much changes dynamic-wise; Krel’s still your loving boyfriend, the same way that you’re still his loving significant other. 

He does make it a habit to compliment you every time he sees you. Whether it be a compliment about your looks, your school work, or even something as small as “I’m happy to see you today,” he really tries to boost your confidence in hopes that you feel better about yourself. 

He also tries to be around you more often, both to make sure you’re ok and to show you that he’s there for you. 

Krel becomes better at predicting when you’re about to enter a depressive episode. Having been around you for so long and now knowing what the warning signs are, he’s very good at guessing when you’re entering certain episodes (sometimes even before you know. Scary, huh?)

When you enter depressive episodes, Krel does everything he can to make sure he’s there for you, both physically and mentally. He will hold you close to him with all four of his arms while he listens carefully to what is troubling you. 

Krel still doesn’t quite understand the emotions involved in depression. Like many other people, he believed that it was just constant sadness, but the more he read and spoke with you about the matter, the more complex it all became. Sadness, despair, emptiness, fear, anger, jealousy, all emotions that he’s never really felt in full. Not to mention other even more nuanced emotions such as paranoia and shame that he’s actually never felt at all. 

Krel is also very good at helping you through mood swings. He’s come to understand that all humans fluctuate between many different emotions, sometimes in a short period of time. He knows when you want him close to you and knows when you want space. 

If you are someone who is very mature with how you explain how you’re feeling, -- like telling someone you’re mad at them, why you’re mad, and that you want space to cool off/talk with them about it -- Krel has an easier time responding to you. He’s much less likely to misinterpret your feelings and what you want. 

Krel actually learned how to vocalize his own emotions from you whenever he’s distressed or upset which definitely opened you two up for a much more healthy form of communication.

He just struggles with emotions in general, but he makes the effort to understand for you :)

TW: S//H, S//I

If Krel ever gets even a hint that you’re hurting yourself, his mental walls would fall and he’d collapse in on himself.

If there is someone who is threatening or hurting you, he, his sister, and Varvatos can easily get rid of them. If you are sick, he can help treat you until you are better. Even if you do something as small as scraping your knee, he can be there to put a bandage over it.

But yourself? He can’t protect you from yourself. He doesn’t know what to do and that scares him so much.

After what happened with his parents, he is very grateful for the lives of those he loves as he understands just how easily they can be taken away from him. He is afraid that one day you will be gone and all that will remain is him.

Krel would have found out about your self-harm either on his own or someone tipping him off about it. You just didn’t have it in you to tell him yourself. 

Krel then begins to really try and learn human medicine. He would spend hours reading medical articles, watching first-aid videos, and taking copious notes about everything he learns, even if it grosses him out a bit (organic organisms were never really something he was interested in before).

He tries to come up with other things you can do when you feel like hurting yourself; Drawing/coloring, writing, reading, playing games, anything that will distract you. He’s always sending you ideas especially when he’s not with you and knows how you’re feeling. 

And to both of your credits, your self-harm does lessen in both severity and quantity. But unfortunately, it doesn’t always help since old habits die hard.

Krel is there in an instant to help you when you relapse assuming you tell him you need help. Even if you decide not to tell him immediately and care for yourself that day/night, Krel almost always finds out sometime after and worries over you about it. 

His hours spent learning first aid pay off when goes to treat your wounds; Cuts, burns, bruises, bites, you’re convinced that Krel can treat any minor injury. And you’re grateful for that. 

Krel is thorough about disinfecting any open wounds with hydrogen peroxide or Neosporin over burns and is incredibly gentle when wrapping them in gauze. He likes to check on them every few days as well to make sure they’re healing correctly.

He holds you close to him afterward -- all four arms wrapped around you and face pressed into your neck/shoulder -- and begs you not to leave him. At first, you’re confused thinking he meant, like, break up with him. It isn’t until you give it more thought that you realize that he doesn’t want to leave him through death.

If you ever express feelings of guilt -- whether verbal or through body language -- Krel quickly dismisses them from your mind by telling you how he wants to help you and how much he loves you. That he wouldn’t bother doing all of this if he didn’t see anything of substance in you.

If you ever express a desire to die, -- whether through suicide or some freak accident -- Krel will look cool on the outside but on the inside, he will be panicking. As hard as he may try, Krel could never understand why you want to die. 

Even if you explain it to Krel -- Everyone and everything that troubles you and the awful guilt you constantly feel by just being alive -- he believes that there is always a reasonable and achievable solution to your problems. It’s not that he’s trying to downplay your problems or your emotions, he’s just naturally more of a rational thinker even under stress.

But even though he doesn’t understand the emotions themselves, he does understand that human emotions can elicit other undesirable responses and thoughts.

Krel will constantly tell you how much he loves you and that he doesn’t know what he’d do with himself if you were dead. 

He does what he can to push those thoughts from your head.

As written earlier, Krel likes to spend time with you in person. Not just because he loves you sm but also because it makes it easier to keep an eye on you and intervene when necessary.

Def says something along the lines of, “I’m happy you’re alive.” And the first time he said that you cried so hard he thought he insulted you lmao. You had to explain to him that you weren’t insulted but relieved and overjoyed. 

Krel is not the most emotionally intelligent person out there, but he tries to be and is willing to understand them for you.

When you had shown up at school with a busted lip, bloody and bruised knuckles, and a dull gash on your cheek, Krel freaked the fuck out. The moment he spotted you walking to your locker from his own locker he was all over you. 

“What happened?” Krel cried while gently taking your face into one of his hands while the other went to grab your hand.

“It’s nothing,” You mutter, pulling your face out of his grasp and taking a step back. Krel scoffed, looking almost offended while saying,

“Nothing? Nothing did that to you?”

“I just-” You start, raising your hands up in defense before dropping them at your sides, “I got in a fight with Steve. It was over something stupid. We’ve known each other for most of our lives; I just worry about him.” You cross your arms to hold onto yourself and look anywhere Krel isn’t. Krel moved his head so that it was in your line of vision, forcing you to meet his eyes. 

“I take it you don’t want to talk about it?” He asked. You nod ‘yes,’ and Krel frowns.

“I won’t push you then, but I really want to get you treated,” He says, taking a step closer to you. You stay where you are and allow him to hold your hands.

“Later, I’ll be fine for now,” You say while bringing up one of his hands to kiss the top of it, “You can have Aja or even Mother patch me up after school.”

Krel looks at your knuckle hesitantly before agreeing, trusting that you truly would be fine until after the school day.

The moment the last bell rang he made a beeline to find you and ran you to his house as quickly as possible. The two of you were the only ones home when you got there, so Krel wasted no time in having one of the blanks retrieve a first aid kit. Once given to him, Krel attempts to treat your injuries but fails pretty miserably. 

You end up showing him how to clean and wrap different kinds of cuts and bruises. It’s when you’re in the middle of cleaning your knuckles in the sink that Krel says something that makes your stomach drop.

“Mother, can you scan Y/N for any more injuries, please?”

“Wha-Mother! You don’t have to do that!” You shout panicked and covered your arms in a vain attempt to conceal your other injuries. 

“Numerous other injuries found upon Y/N in the upper arm, forearm, and thigh regions. Approximately 27 cuts to the epidermis and 3, 1st-degree burns found.”

“What!?” Krel turned around so fast to face you, you swear you saw his electric blue hair whip from the air, “Where?! I demand you show me!”

“No!” You cry back panicked, hands gripping the side of the sink behind you. Krel scowls and grows before shouting, 

“Mother, show me a hologram of where the injuries are on Y/N!” 

“My King-in-waiting, It would seem that I have breached a highly sensitive topic on behalf of Y/N. I believe it best that they discuss it with you themself.” Mother responds. Krel sighs, his upper right hand running through his hair.

“Y/N,” He starts, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you. I’m really worried.” He carefully walks over to you but leaves a foot of space between the two of you.

“Will you please show me where you’re hurt?” He asks quietly. Your eyes begin to burn with tears and your mouth opens to explain yourself before shutting quickly with a ‘clank’ of your teeth. Unable to speak, you place your hands into his lower ones, palms up, and nod your head. Gently, Krel’s other hands push your long sleeves higher up your arms, and he’s baffled at the numerous cuts he sees littering your arms. There were many different colors, thicknesses, lengths, and stages of healing -- some were a day old while others were weeks old. He ran his thumb over one of the older ones.

“Wha…” Krel stutters, eyes dancing over your arms, “What are these? What-Who did this?” His eyes flicker up to yours. 

Your jaw twitches -- wanting to speak but unable to -- and you pull one of your hands away from his to point to yourself. Krel’s eyebrows furrow.

“I-I don’t understand,” He whispers, his own eyes beginning to water, “I want to understand.” 

“I did this,” You mumble out, pulling your other hand away from his, “I am…ashamed.” Tears begin to fall and you scrub gently at your eyes to dry them.

“You-You did this?” Krel asks, confused and stunned, “You willingly hurt yourself? Why?”

You heave out a few breaths trying to figure out how to relay your emotions to him. While difficult to say, you manage to squeeze out three words.

“I hate-” You stammer, “I hate myself.” 

And Krel is immediately embracing you.

“I love you,” He says, cupping your face in his upper hands and staring into your eyes with his other two around your waist, “I love you so much. Please don’t ever say you hate yourself.”

Gently, he kisses your forehead, your cheek, and then your lips.

The two of you are left a sobbing mess of tender skin and emotion in the kitchen for Varvatos and Aja to find later when they arrive home.

[seventeenlovesthree]

Digi Dynamic Shipping Game

Send me two names among the following 12 and I’ll write a short analysis post about them:

Taichi Yagami | Yamato Ishida | Sora Takenouchi | Koushirou Izumi | Mimi Tachikawa | Jyou Kidou | Takeru Takaishi | Hikari Yagami | Daisuke Motomiya | Miyako Inoue | Iori Hida | Ken Ichijouji

Whether canon provides input on them or not.

Unfortunately I didn't make it before the end of Pride Month, but - while there are a lot of potentially queer ships in the subtext of the Digimon universe that fit the tone, there aren't as many of them that came this close to technically being confirmed as having a valid (canon) baseline as this one.

To ask if canon provides input on Daisuke and Ken - or Daiken, Kensuke, Daisuken, however you want to call them -, is, once again, like asking if water is wet; they're the most elaborated relationship in the entirety of Digimon Adventure 02, the majority of Ken's development is tied to his bond to Daisuke... If you want to read more about why I value their relationship so much, I definitely recommend this post here, because they're just... Endlessly fascinating to me.

The good-hearted goofball with self-esteem issues that lead him to play a role to impress others initially - meets a corrupted genius and literally slaps the darkness out of his system. They turn from fated rivals to fated partners, facing the powers of darkness together and eventually, they become better people in the process thanks to one another. Daisuke's entire priority system changes upon wanting to give Ken a chance, he not only becomes more honest and less defensive, but also lets his personal sense of courage and friendship shine through; Ken, who's initially reluctant to take the hand Daisuke is offering him due to all the guilt he feels, slowly but steadily becomes the kind and gentle soul that was always within him, because there is someone by his side who has his back. Always.

It's a beautiful story of two complementing souls, whose bond enables the first real Jogress evolution, despite the fact - or even because - they couldn't be any more different. It's a story of repentance, forgiveness, learning to befriend others despite your own trauma and differences - and the story of a romantic subtext that almost hits you in the face if you're not careful enough. There is a reason why the screenshot above exists - the most recent movie literally acknowledged that, even after all these years, the bond between Daiken has not vanished and has, instead, gained a somewhat (actively) flirtatious nuance. While it used to be Ken who blushed due to Daisuke's (oftentimes oblivious) bluntness, the same Ken is now forward enough to openly praise Daisuke in ways that make it impossible to overlook the potential implications here - well, for anybody who isn't Daisuke himself at least...

Whether I think why and how they’d work.

Given the circumstances that we're, unfortunately, not talking about a canonically confirmed ship, we just gotta pretend that there will be a day when Ken's attempts of asking Daisuke out will be answered in two potential ways: 1.) "Huh? YOU WERE FLIRTING WITH ME THE ENTIRE TIME????" or 2.) "Huh? I thought we were together this entire time anyway???" Because both of these would be somewhat plausible "Daisuk-esque" reactions in my opinion.

I thoroughly believe that these two would work out romantically in fantastic ways - even though it'd take a lot of work, but which relationship that intends to last doesn't? They both chose careers that require enormous amounts of time and energy - and very irregular working hours. Granted, the latter applies to the majority of the Chosen Children, but an aspiring chef of his own Ramen cart may only be able to see an aspiring police officer if the latter's break time allows him to grab a meal at a Ramen facility that is coincidentally very close by... Gate hopping may have made that a lot easier, but at this point, we don't even know if that is still a thing anymore.

I still maintain that, as much as they'd be married to their jobs, they both still have quite a romantic side to themselves once the curse is broken - so they would make time, just like they did throughout all these years. While their interests in general might also be quite different, they would always find a way to bond over their mutual love for sports, football in particular. Ken needs someone who pulls him out of his head - and Daisuke needs someone who grounds him, which, as The Beginning suggested, is (basically) exactly their dynamic. They always enjoy group gatherings with their friend groups, food tastings are always a reason for Daisuke to invite everybody over - especially to lure Ken away from work. And let's be real, I can also see them go on cheesy dates - that mostly consist of them doing sporting activities (any kind of ball sport, rollerskating, hiking) where Daisuke can (pretend to) be competitive and Ken knowingly plays along with the teasing, just so they have an excuse to be close. Because they'd be cheesy like that, oh Lord, they'd be so cheesy in the most wanna-be-bro way possible.

Whether I’d prefer them as platonic or romantic ship.

In a universe in which Miyaken doesn't become canon, there is literally no reason for Daiken not to be endgame - unless the writers actually had some guts and turned them into an official OT3 in The Beginning. Of course I can always enjoys them as just platonic life partners, bros 4 life, you don't even have to give it a label, as long as they remain as close as they are. Because they simply belong together, one way or another.

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

I think the relationship between Trey and Vil is pretty interesting (but again, as someone who really really likes Vil, each and every of his relationships is interesting to me). Vil himself said Riddle's lucky to have Trey and that Trey is a "exceptional second-in-command" (Vil labwear), and Vil repeatedly noted Trey's thoughtfulness (Vil union/jacket birthday), though sometimes Vil meant it to be criticism (main story 5-22 and Trey apprentice chef, both of which Vil commented that Trey's tendency to spoil others rotten will bring more harm than good for his underclassmen). So yes, they don't appear to be very close (and maybe they aren't), and Vil might appear to be mean to Trey (his words and actions are not helping lol), but I think Trey is one of few students in NRC where Vil actually enjoys having a chat with, considering Trey is one of the few that allow Vil to feel satisfied with his needs to constantly lecturing others and proving that he knows best by smiling and nodding along (Leona can outsmart Vil, Rook can out-talk Vil, Epel gets too defensive etc.) As for Trey, I don't think I know him enough to gauge his opinions about Vil. I'd love to hear what you think too!

I'll be honest, I don't usually think a lot about Trey or Vil (because they're both characters I don't personally enjoy) 🤔 but I love it when new TWST content comes out that makes me go back and reevaluate the characters. It makes them feel really dynamic and helps to recontextualize what I knew of them before. When I think of Vil and Trey's relationship, I think, "they're friendly acquaintances that give off the impression of a stern mom and a doting dad" (not necessarily in a romantic way, that's just the dynamic their relationship reminds me of). Individually, they're both competent people, but they have very different "parenting styles". However, it's never to the point where it becomes hateful. You can tell they disagree on some points, but they're also able to just have a civil conversation about it (ie "be the adults in the room"), letting their strengths play off of each other well. One thing that's very apparent about Vil is that he has high standards for not just himself, but for everyone. Because of this, he has a very critical eye when it comes to things like evaluating the quality of products, as well as others' character. He's not so easily tricked by expert liars like Jade (who came close to earning the Ghost Bride's heart, had it not been for Floyd's interference, even though she would later detect Azul's fakeness; Vil automatically knew something was sus in Jade's dorm uniform vignettes when the eel showed upon Pomefiore's doorstep claiming to want to transfer). What's more, Vil can take one look at someone and determine what their strengths and weaknesses are, and where their potential lies. That's why he picked Epel to be his "poison apple", because he knew that Epel had the capacity to be cute if he learned to embrace his femininity, which would help them stand a chance against RSA. Likewise, Vil can also see these in Trey, no matter how often Trey claims that he's normal or nothing special, or that he's just doing what anyone else would do. See, that's the thing with Trey. He comes off as so humble and approachable that Vil knows it's sometimes detrimental, whether that's to Trey himself or to others. It makes people too reliant on Trey's kindness instead of them learning to be independent (a sentiment which Vil frowns on), and Trey has a habit of perpetuating it because of how "considerate" and "thoughtful" (as Vil puts it) he is. It's a double-edged sword. But in spite of these traits, Vil also recognizes that Trey is skilled at what he does: smoothing things over (because let's be honest, Riddle can suck at that) and leading where others cannot (some will be more likely to listen to Trey because of how "nice" he is to them). I find it really fascinating how Trey talks himself down (in an act of humility), but most everyone else has nothing but high praise for him. It's typically the younger students who see Trey as some older brother figure who will always be there to help them when they need it... but it's the older students--and especially those with discerning eyes--that realize that Trey actually has greater strengths than just that. Both Vil AND Rook, who are some of THE most perceptive characters in the cast, have explicitly commented on Trey's leadership abilities (the latter being during the second Beans Day event; I wrote this post discussing Rook and Trey's relationship if you're interested in reading that! ^^). And you know what else is wild???? If you think about it, Trey is also just as perceptive, and I believe this plays well in his dynamic with Vil. There are many instances when Trey notices details that no one else does, like the fact that Cater dislikes sweets or that Rook does not like to share personal details.

The difference between Trey and Vil is that they use their perceptiveness in different ways; Vil is much more direct with his assessments, he does not hesitate to hit you in the face with what he has scoped out (call it "tough love"). He tends to criticize and point out flaws, and how people could be better. Think about how readily Vil chastised Deuce when Deuce tried to stand up for Epel in book 5; Vil immediately told him he has no right to complain when he has so much more work to do, even Potato #1 (Ace), who started around the same time as Deuce, has made significant progress while Deuce has lagged behind. Vil has no mercy, he is stone cold killer. Some people can't take getting their pride hurt or having their weaknesses told to them, and that's why Vil is often branded as "mean". Trey is the opposite; he often takes note of things but doesn't always make a point to bring it up unless there's a reason for it. His blows are much softer and more considerate because he doesn’t want to attract attention to himself by further aggravating the issue. He does not like having the spotlight on him (something which he brings up multiple times). As an example, when Trey tells us that Cater doesn't like sweets, he says it in a sort of casual manner rather than a pointed one, and his words are phrased such that it's only a guess rather than accusing him of something. Other times, Trey uses the information he has to avoid or to resolve conflicts. For example, when Sebek and Deuce are pressing Rook for information about his family, Trey diverts their attention to take the heat off of Rook. The huntsman realizes that Trey did it on purpose because Trey knew he was feeling uncomfortable with the circumstances. Trey even apologizes to Rook afterwards, asking if he shouldn't have done that. Vil is confrontational (most likely because he sees it as an avenue to push others to grow), whereas Trey is non-confrontational and happy to keep people comfortable with what they already know. If Vil's strategy is to attract bees with venom, then Trey's strategy is to attract bees with honey. On Trey's end, it's actually pretty difficult to gauge how he feels about his classmates because he often doesn't outright state his thoughts on specific people. One thing that crops up time and time again is that Trey typically performs well to make his dorm look good (because, according to him, it would just cause trouble if he messed something up). This says to me that Trey puts the needs or the expectations of others over his own, and this kind of thinking also carries over to how he expresses himself. He tends to make generalized statements like, "yeah, X can be like that", "they can be so energetic", or, "wow, that's impressive". I think this also applies to what he thinks of Vil; Trey has said in other instances that he finds the feats his classmates are capable of totally ridiculous. I'd imagine that he feels similarly about Vil, like he's some star that's way out of Trey's understanding. At the same time, Vil the A list celebrity is also just another classmate, so Trey treats him as such. I don't think I can really recall a time when Trey expressed not liking someone, because really he's the type of guy that tries to get along with everyone. It's not that he necessarily likes everyone, but that he maintains a decent enough relationship so as to avoid issues. As long as he doesn't start anything, no one starts anything with him. That's one of his major boons: Trey's mildness actually makes it so that he doesn't have any real enemies. People either accept his existence and leave him alone, or they give him some level of respect since he's consistently known as a "nice guy" on campus. That's part of why he is so effective as a leader in his own right, and others can recognize that. Vil is also an effective leader, but arguably how he approaches others and handles conflicts has made him more foes than friends (like... how often does he nitpick Epel's looks or manners, and then extend that behavior to people in other dorms?).

Back on the topic of Trey and Vil as a duo, I think it's because of their similarities (the ability to "read" others) and their differences (their very approaches with the information they have on others) that help flesh out their relationship. Vil is equally tough on himself as he is on others (perhaps even more tough on himself), and sometimes that leads to the problem where he denies himself very normal joys or he obsesses over very little details. Trey is exactly the type of person Vil needs to hear from every now and again--just a "normal" dude without those impossible standards. I think this is exemplified in Vil's Labwear vignettes. In those, he is worried about his figure because of a callous comment Rook made. Vil happens to run into Trey in the hallway, and during their conversation Trey picks up on Vil's irritation and invites him over to Heartslabyul for tea. While they're having drinks together, Trey asks about why Vil is upset, and that begins this whole talk about how Vil's upset with Rook's careless phrasing. Trey is able to toss in some of his own experiences dealing with Rook, thereby empathizing with (relating to) Vil rather than simply sympathizing with (feeling bad for) him. I noticed Trey also has less dialogue than Vil; he's giving Vil the space to vent, and pretty much all of Trey's responses are very non-judgmental, non-inflammatory ones. Towards the tail-end of the conversation, Vil actually starts shifting the topic from his annoyance with Rook to Trey's modesty. It's through this that Trey is able to seize the chance to pitch the cake (the so-called "stress relief") he was hoping to offload to Pomefiore this whole time to Vil. Trey got what he wanted in the end while also soothing Vil's troubles, because he treated Vil like an equal rather than a queen on a pedestal. He's okay with soaking up Vil's venom and acting as the verbal punching bag since Trey can just meet it with a level head and understanding. That, in turn, makes Vil feel heard and seen without being judged (which would just make Vil more critical of himself). It's not that Trey just smiles and nods along to let people get anger out of their systems, it's that he actually listens and tells them what they need to hear, but not in an overly sycophantic or condescending way. He knows what to do and say, and how to respond to get on people’s good side. (If that isn't a mastermind move, then I don't know what is 😂 Trey's a lot craftier than people give him credit for! His unassuming nature and lack of open blackheartedness just makes it harder to spot.)

What makes Vil and Trey’s relationship work is that they seem to have a mutual respect for one another, and an understanding of what the other is “truly” like. Vil knows Trey is more talented than he lets on, and Trey can give Vil that outlet he needs to speak on his real emotions. That’s why gives me such strong “parental figures” energy as well 😂

[atopvisenyashill]

in anon because I'm a coward but I confess that I love the parent-child dynamic of the targaryens, and being a incestuous family already make any relationship odd.

one of your posts about Jaehaerys and his daughters being groomed made me think about other parent-child relationships that are fascinating to me, like visenya-maegor, rhaena the lesbian-aerea, viserys i-rhaenyra, viserys ii-his three children. i wish there was more info him as a father because: he was violently separated from his family, forced to marry the daughter of his kidnapper, become a father between the ages 13-16 and by 17 he is a single father.

in my delusions 🤡 he didn't want naerys to be a septa because that would mean she has to go to oldtown, and he didn't want her to leave him like larra or aegon did

i mean you have COME TO THE RIGHT PLACE lol, i think the ones that interest me the most are similar: aligon obviously lol, visnyra (always sad that tag is 90% rhaenyra and an oc lol), rhaenyra-jacaerys, maegor-visenya, jaehaerys-daughters in general, alysanne-daughters in general (god that court was crazy lol), aegon iv-daeron, viserys-naerys, naerys-daemon, and viserys-rhaella. i think what's fascinating about emotional abuse and targaryens is that a lot of emotional abuse is like,,,,, rooted in a parent forcing a child to take on a role that a child is ill suited for, usually the role of a parent or a friend. it's not that every parent-child abuse dynamic is inherently sexual, but i guess it's that emotional abuse is meant to blur the lines between boundaries, and sexual boundaries are just a subgrouping of emotional boundaries - when you add in the incest, it's like it lays bare that thread that ties emotional abuse to sexual abuse and how those things can feed off each other. did that make sense lol.

i'm also very curious about viserys ii as a parent - i think we can assume he has some level of trauma surrounding marriages because even though larra rogare dies a handful of years after returning to lys, he doesn't remarry and doesn't have more children, even knowing how frail naerys is and knowing how insane aegon is already. i think it's really intersting that he sends aegon to braavos instead of lys when he's trying to separate aegon and naerys as well. i also feel like all the poisonings he's accused of aren't likely - why wouldn't he just off aegon then, once daeron was born and lived past infancy, if he was so cool with kinslaying? we can see aegon was a problem already, and a big enough problem that viserys is trying to send him away so he doesn't rape naerys to death - speaks to both a high level of extreme sexual abuse being heaped onto poor naerys as well as a level of compassion (however sleight) shown to a woman suffering from domestic violence that is not particularly common in Westeros. and it's interesting that he's really similar to show alicent, in that he becomes a parent at a disturbingly young age, and then basically parents his kids on his own from his teenage years and onward.

i think that's a really likely and great reading of what we've gotten from viserys-naerys so far too - that he has so many attachment and abandonment issues (i mean literally though not purposefully abandoned to die by aegon and coming so close to being sold into slavery and the who knows where the hell that horror show would have taken him!) and would force naerys to marry aegon to keep her close. it's not dissimilar from visnyra - forcing her to marry a gay man, allowing her an affair, but refusing to allow her daemon specifically because he wants to be the most important man in her life and neither laenor nor harwin are a threat to that but daemon is. so viserys ii follows in his footsteps by binding naerys to aegon, and putting aemon on the kingsguard - she'll never love aegon because he's a monster, she can never openly be with aemon because he's celibate, so no one can ever usurp viserys' position as the number one man in her life.

[veliseraptor]

Top five canon ships from your fandoms?

canon ships? what're those. also I mean. how "canon" are we talking, like, explicitly canon, implicitly canon, they-get-together-at-the-end canon, they-at-some-point-were-a-thing canon, plausible-deniability-canon, it's complicated

but okay, to try to take this in the spirit it was probably meant

Hua Cheng/Xie Lian from TGCF. one of the most incredible things about TGCF is that it actually made me wholeheartedly and enthusiastically ship a completely canon and...relatively functional...ship. I mean, they've definitely got their dysfunction (Hua Cheng get some self esteem and maybe pedestalize Xie Lian a little less challenge) but they're weirdo4weirdo and friends in a delightful way that makes me really enjoy how they do it. I'm not saying they invented love, as the saying goes, but they're certainly good at it.

Felix Harrowgate &/ Mildmay from Doctrine of Labyrinths. look, if there's explicit incestuous attraction at at least one point I think it counts. this is one of those ships that straddles the line between & and / for me a lot of the time, because any sexual stuff aside it's so intense and intimate that, like. it might as well be a "classic" ship, just without the sex, and we're agreed that something doesn't have to have sex in it to be a ship, right? and there is the canonical one-sided incestuous attraction, so, like. it's not even completely without the sex.

Vegas Theerapanyakul/Pete Saengtham from Kinnporsche. cannot believe that this is canon thing that actually happened in a show that I watched. made 4 me. incredible. forever grateful to Kinnporsche for giving me this gift.

Caleb Widogast/Essek Thelyss from Critical Role. I feel like it's canon enough? maybe that's controversial but I'm going to stand by it. fascinating dynamic, two fucked up people being fucked up together, atonement arcs that aren't usually my thing but crossed with a wondrous amount of wizard hubris and people who are both kind of bad at being people. I'm into it.

Chu Wanning/Taxian-jun from 2HA. this spot was more of a toss-up but ultimately I settled on these two. I specify Taxian-jun here because while I really enjoy Mo Ran/Chu Wanning other flavor it's truly the Maximum Fucked Up that gets/got me. the hate/love/obsession of it. so good, I'm rolling around in it like a cat in catnip. thank u Meatbun for giving this to me with all its laundry list of associated trigger warnings

I feel like everyone should know how fucking tempted I was to put xuexiao on here. because it was very tempted. they're so close, you guys, I would argue implicitly canon, but, well. probably not what you meant, anon.

a number of what I'd call "plausible deniability canon" ships from mxtx, really. but again, spirit of the question.

[wawamouse]

Oh, and just so you know, I jotted down this bit of the expanded snippet before I read your wonderful fic with Miguel (freaking adorably and very believably) attempting to take care of Chico without pursuing receiving anything in return 😂:

“If you're just trying to get me into bed, sweetheart,” saying it all sly, like the asshole he was, laughter curled behind his tongue. Wasn't really laughing, though, probably because the adrenaline was wearing off, pain was setting in, and those ribs hurt like a bitch.

Miguel cut him off with a deadly dismissive look, complete with condescending tone. (Sure, they'd fucking kissed or whatever, and who the fuck knew what that made them now, but they were still this. Back and forth, humoring each other's stupid shit and cutting it off in turns.) “I'm trying to get you to rest, stupid. You think you'd be any fucking fun right now? Please, your ass can barely bend over.” –shit. That was maybe too fucking far–

Chico snorted, hand lightly landing to brace his side. “Oh, you mean you aren't going to selflessly take care of me this time ‘cause I'm so injured? That hurts, Miguel. Like maybe worse than my papercut.”

Oho? 👀 Snippet right in my inbox? 💖💖 Heh— Sure, they’d fucking kissed .. but they were still this. Absolutely! And that’s one of the fun things about writing them—their bickering :D Incessant, unrelenting back and forth 😵‍💫 Only time it really stops is when something is reaaaally wrong or happening. Obviously, Chico’s paper cut isn’t that (lmao, him downplaying it) :P

ALSO… AHH 👁️👁️ So this is post kiss? Mhm, I see… 🤝🏼 Laughing that we both characterised Miguel as immediately being on board (0 to 60 :D) and muttering about the logistics of fucking. Miguel! And now I realise that was a sort of joking observation but now I’m thinking about how that’s something Miguel and Chico have in common, actually: logistical thinking, that is. At least, I headcanon Chico as being that way. I mean, even that he has his Chico Math moments when he’s impatient and wanting revenge, I have to think that consistently being lieutenant in El Norte means that he’s in charge of planning the details and delegating, etc, for whatever the boss wants to get accomplished (and that generally speaking, he's not bad at it—except when it comes to plannning how to kill Miguel, who has more lives than a cat). That’s also where it’s fun to write Miguel and Chico teaming up for shenanigans post-canon or something like that, when they’re partners. They can plan things together and complement each other’s shortfalls… I’m reminded of your fic, “Following Frustration”, where you fantastically portray and delve into that aspect of their relationship, and how from Miguel’s POV, he finds value in Chico’s push back :)c …also while I’m mentioning that fic, I want to repeat that I LIIIIVE for that scene where Chico’s trying to attack the mouthy new guy and Miguel is bodily holding him back! It scratches a little bit of that itch of wanting to see Chico just absolutely demolish some guy on Miguel’s (baffled) behalf at some point… I think that’s something you also mentioned previously in a post.

Ahem. Anyway! Yeaaah, there’s also something very fascinating about the dynamic of Miguel wanting to do something for Chico without expectations of reciprocation, especially in a moment early into things. Of course it makes sense in the context of both our fics here, because they have an established close friendship, but in set-in-Oz fics, I find there’s that tendency to writing an early relationship approach as being 1 for 1, quid pro quo, often as a safety net for them, because things are shaky, and there’s not only an undesirable implication to only giving and not receiving, but also a potential vulnerability or uncomfortable depth that would be exposed to just wanting to give… So, interesting! I'm intrigued as to what direction your expanded snippet (if you're still working on it 🤞🏼👀) goes in!

[bronte-deserves-better]

In honor of pride month, I think I'm gonna do a little ramble about why Bronte/Emery genuinely appeals to me as a ship dynamic, even though I've been in this fandom long enough to remember that it started as a joke. More below the cut because this got longer than planned.

So first off, Bronte and Emery are similar in some ways. To me, their connecting thread is their shared devotion to the Council. Bronte is the longest-serving Councillor, and when the main crew is suspicious of the Council having a leak in Everblaze, Fitz dismisses the idea that Bronte could be that leak outright. Bronte is said to be very dedicated to his job. Similarly, we see Emery make every effort to maintain the Council's reputation and standing over the course of the books. As the Council's spokesperson, he rarely shares his own opinion, and instead acts as the voice of the Council. (Which makes Emery a fascinating character in his own right to me, but that's a different post.)

So Bronte and Emery have some shared values: the Council. They're both believers in the system, generally upholding the established power structures rather than transgressing them like Oralie or Kenric.

But their duality is also fascinating to me. Bronte is strong-willed and opinionated, "infamously struggling" with the edict that Councillors should not speak against the Council's decisions even if they don't agree. He clearly has his own moral framework; even though it often aligns with the Council, when it doesn't, he never hesitates to speak against the rest. Bronte is blunt, harsh, and a rather abrasive character.

By contrast, Emery is smooth-tongued and charming. Unlike Bronte, he almost never speaks his own opinion. Instead, as I said above, he acts as the voice of the Council. I think it must require a certain kind of personality and patience to be a successful spokesperson; even when decisions are made which you personally disagree with, you have to maintain the facade of unity.

I think it's this duality which draws them to each other, in a way. Neither of them could be each other, and consequently they find the other equally fascinating and frustrating. It's easy to imagine that Emery is sometimes frustrated by Bronte's outspoken nature, which he sees as undermining the unity of the Council. Bronte, meanwhile, wouldn't understand how Emery can set aside his principles so easily. It's frustrating, but it's also fascinating. It draws them to be curious about each other.

Another aspect to this is the isolation of the Councillors. We know Councillors are forbidden from having romantic relationships or children canonically; some people have extrapolated from this the idea that Councillors are also encouraged to not maintain contact with their families. But even setting explicit regulations aside, the Councillors are deeply lonely characters. They each live (theoretically alone) in a vast castle, making their decisions about the elven world largely in isolation. How many secrets must the Council know that they are forbidden to share with anyone else? How much does their work keep them from forming connections with other elves, even ones that they aren't technically forbidden from having, like friendships?

As far as I imagine it, the Councillors, by virtue of their positions, are deeply isolated from close relationships with anyone outside the Council, which makes their relationships with each other all the more crucial. The rest of the Council are people that they spend long periods of time in discussion with, must work with to preserve the safety of the elven world, and the only other elves who can truly understand what all of this is like. The Councillors are forbidden from forming 'attachments', but under those conditions, it's not hard to see why some Councillors do form attachments to one another: canonically, Kenric and Oralie, or not so canonically, Bronte and Emery.

In my fic your drama (the touch of your hand) (which is on my AO3 SemperAeternumQue and you should definitely check out-), I imagine Bronte and Emery as having somewhat of a friends/coworkers with benefits relationship. In AUs, I might imagine them in a more traditionally romantic dynamic, but in the canon universe of Keeper, traditional romance just doesn't seem to fit them. Both of them are too dedicated to their work to pursue anything they see as overly romantic or breaking their oaths; they aren't in love the way Oralie and Kenric were, but they find a sort of comfort in one another. They are some of the only people capable of understanding the position that the other is in: their shared dedication to the Council intermingled with the sheer loneliness of being a Councillor.

And that's fascinating to me! I love dynamics that for whatever reason can't be categorized nearly into traditional relationship categories! Bronte and Emery's canon dynamic is absolutely fascinating because of so many things: the unconventional nature of the relationship, the fact that they're both doing something that could be seen as breaking their oaths- oaths that we know they both are canonically quite dedicated to- and the resulting cognitive dissonance, the duality and contrast between their personalities that draws them to one another, the fact that they can never fully understand each other but take comfort in the other nonetheless- I just love everything about what canon!Brontemery would be like.

(Oh yeah, and a final note because I thought of it midway through: I've spent a lot of this ramble contrasting brontemery to koralie, which wasn't intentional at first, but I do think Bronte and Emery's dynamic in canon would provide an interesting contrast/foil to Kenric and Oralie's dynamic. They’re both pairs of Councillors, but one largely upholds the existing system and one acts rebelliously.

At first glance, Kenric and Oralie seems like the most wholesome, if tragic relationship, while Bronte and Emery does not, particularly as they both take an more antagonistic role at different points in the series and are generally not depicted as good people. However, as we’ve seen canonically, Oralie and Kenric’s relationship had some darker aspects, while I imagine that whatever else about them, Bronte and Emery’s relationship with each other is largely good. Bronte and Emery are two characters that rarely act against the system, but break one of their sacred oaths as Councillors to be together. By contrast, Oralie and Kenric pine for each other but refuse to break that specific oath, despite all the other treason they both commit. They're both pairs of Councillors, but couldn't be more different otherwise. (I also have a rant about how Bronte and Oralie's characters contrast one another in interesting ways, but that's again a different post.))

In conclusion, am I normal about kotlc? No.

[voxofthevoid]

HELLO I AM HERE TO TALK ABOUT OUR LORD AND SAVIOUR THE LESBIAN JESUS GIDEON NAV THE FIRST FLOWER OF THE NINTH HOUSE

there is just so much to talk when it comes to Gideon but her relationship with Pyrrha is fascinating. because Pyrrha wanted and still wants Gideon, who has never been anyone's priority. Gideon doesn't think she is wanted but Pyrrha mourned her for all these years. do you think she as G1deon looked at Harrow and imagined that Wake's child would be close in age? and she doesn't even know that the child is sharing bodies with her necro just like her

they meet finally and Pyrrha fucks it up, because she never expected to meet Gideon, because Gideon has always been a Concept not a person so now faced with the real person she says the wrong thing. Pyrrha talks about fucking her mother but not how she mourned Gideon. and it's made worse by Gideon learning that Pyrrha knew about her because for her entire life she believed she was wanted and not abandoned like everyone told her. but Pyrrha knowing and not returning was reaffirming of that. and it's not even Pyrrha's fault! she couldn't have known, she would have trouble returning to Ninth! but Gideon is 19 and has been abused her entire life and she is upset, she just learnt her mother, who she believed loved her, only had her to kill her

and then there is Nona. Nona who is in Harrow's body but could be either of them and Pyrrha isn't trying really hard to learn. this is her chance to make up for the lost years, to raise that child and build a relationship without the burden of her being raised on the Ninth. and of course Pyrrha loves Nona for herself but it is Gideon she thinks of (could be Harrow but if another person prioritises Harrow over Gideon I will go mental) when she wonders if "she" had birthdays on the Ninth

just thinking about Pyrrha and the time she spent pretending to be G1deon, knowing that Gideon's corpse is there. the scene where she and Nona are standing next to corpse Kiriona is making me insane

Nor had Pyrrha ever looked at her the way she now looked at the dead corpse with red hair—a kind of soft, guarded want; a hunger—a living desire to take the corpse in her arms like Kevin’s wanting desire with his dolls. To own, to squeeze, to cosset and destroy.

this one paragraph makes me want to write so many fics exploring their dynamic, it's criminal how there are only 30 fics tags Gideon Nav & Pyrrha Dve. what do you mean there is sentence that goes as hard as "a hunger—a living desire to take the corpse in her arms" and people aren't writing long ass fics about it??

I need to reread Nona for their interactions when I am less busy but Gideon watching Pyrrha be kind and gentle with Nona, a parent, and being reminded once again how she was abandoned. and how she is still not anyone's first choice. the unwanted child, just like Crux said

do you think Gideon hated Nona when she watched Pyrrha be so gentle with her? no one had ever shown her this much kindness, no one held as she was dying and she wasn't chosen the way Pyrrha chose to shoot Ianthe with the bullet she was saving for John. do you think she despised that stranger in Harrow's body because she envied how loved she was while telling herself it's because Nona is squatting in Harrow's body?

I am very rarely interested in parent/child relationship but god does Gideon have fascinatingly messed up relationships with literally every parent figure in her life

thank you for allowing me to rant <3 I have so many thoughts about them

Gideon and Pyrrha should have emotionally charge pseudo incestuous sex who said that

Nodding along so hard to all of this while losing my brain cells one at a time.

It's been long enough since I read the books that I'd need a full reread to actually contribute to this conversation in any meaningful way, but Pyrrha and her relationships with both Wake and Gideon are hands down my favourite in the series—and for good fucking reason. It's delicious enough in Harrow, but Nona takes it up a notch by giving us Gideon and Pyrrha interactions that are jagged and awkward and frankly painful, despite being so brief and so few.

Never going to be over the fact that Pyrrha wanted that kid so bad, and then Gideon came into the scene in time to watch her tenderly parent whoever's walking around in her lesbian situationship's body.

Nona sees how Pyrrha looks at that corpse; she understands it. Gideon never does.

Tamsyn Muir, your mind 🙇

(I was going to say I'm also rarely interested in parent/child relationships and that we all know what happens when I start, but you beat me to it lmaooo. With how Gideon presumably resembles Wake to an extent and how her relationship with Pyrrha is already half momfucker jokes and tragic yearning, it'd be so very pseudo-incestuous and so bad for everyone involved. It would still be less fucked up than whatever the Tridentarii twins have going on.)

[myfandomrealitea]

Very specific question, but do you (or anyone else) know of how to get rid of that nagging feeling of sharing everything you create?

I'm a writer, both in the fanfic sense and of my own stories. I'm also proship, but nobody I care about knows that fact due to be so severely anti to the point of me mentioning the discourse (to test the waters) gets a blatant "proshippers aren't human beings and should kill themselves".

I really want to write a small fic about a problematic ship (young child x older person) that I don't even actually like! I don't ship it, though I don't care if other people do. But I'm fascinated by the idea of it, the possible dynamic, because it's very popular in the proshipper circle of the fandom and it's been nagging at me. The problem is that I write and then want to share it. Writing for myself feels.... Wrong, almost? But I cannot share it with my loved ones. I had previously already suggested writing a similar idea to a very close friend and he was severely disgusted by it, asked me if I was genuinely considering writing it and I had to very quickly play it off as a joke.

And I know the next suggestion will be the proshipper side of the fandom, but sharing my work online for others I don't know to see makes me personally uncomfortable, which is a major shame.

(I'm not even going to touch the fact that your "loved ones" think people like you should kill themselves.)

But. A good way is to treat them like an assessment opportunity. Make a copy of each piece and use something like Google Documents to annotate and evaluate what you've written. Move all of the originals into a secondary folder.

Not only will this help improve your writing in the long run, but it somewhat changes the intent of the literature from something written to, at its core, be shared, into a personal resource.

There's also the option of making new friends. You don't have to go out and gather people up like a squirrel with a winter store, but even just one likeminded person whom you can get to know well enough to feel comfortable sharing your work can help sate that need to share and engage with someone about what you create. You can send your content to them privately, then, rather than uploading it for the masses.

But. I would just gently like to say that perhaps its not the need to share that you need to reflect on and try to negate. If you have to ask how to stifle yourself so that your loved ones don't think of you as inhuman meat that needs to be slaughtered, perhaps you're asking the wrong questions.

[loominggaia]

I wonder how Cerulea's kids would get along with Oberon's kids? Or Marghan?

Good question! I doubt Cerulea allows her kids to interact with foreign nobles in their leisure time, but I'm sure they do interact sometimes at international royal galas. These galas can take place anywhere on Gaia, most often at castles or convention centers. They're opportunities for nobles to network with eachother, find spouses for their heirs, and show off their wealth.

Lazuline: Would probably get along well with Winnie because they're both quiet, nerdy, and bookish. Marghan would annoy her and Hestal would absolutely disgust her.

Saphirra: Would totally go clubbing with Blomi and Marghan. Thinks Jaq is hot and tries to slob his knob every time she sees him, but he's not having it. One, because he's not really attracted to women. Two, because she's creepy in an uncanny "Stepford Wives" kind of way. Three, because he heard what happened to her eight ex-husbands and is smart enough to realize this ho is straight up radioactive lol.

Teal: Refuses to get chummy with any of these dirty barbaric foreigners because Mommy Dearest(tm) wouldn't like it. Makes a show of acting really rude to them at galas, but only when Cerulea is watching. It's only a matter of time before she triggers Hestal's bad temper and he upends a whole feast table on top of her. Not "if", but "when".

Cyana: She's intrigued by Marghan because he has the wild, free, adolescence she wishes she had. I could see her naively following him around and getting into trouble because of it. She'd also get along with OJ because they're both misunderstood and have a ton of parental pressure on them. Also, a couple different people have said they think OJ is nonbinary (he must have a vibe or something lol), and if that's the case then Cyana might relate to him on that level, as Oberon would not accept OJ's gender identity just like Cerulea wouldn't accept Cyana's homosexuality.

Marine: She and Trista would be BFFs. Trista has a dominant, manipulative personality and Marine is more of a naïve follower, so I imagine they have a "Rocky and Mugsy" dynamic going on. They're destructive enough alone, but together they become an unstoppable storm of chaos. They cause a scene at every royal gala they attend, and their antics destroyed an entire convention center at least once. Trista would try to convince Marine to help her kill her little brother Nate, and Marine is so desperate for friendship that she'd probably agree to it. (But of course Marine fucks up everything she does, so she sabotages Trista's plans and Natey Potatey lives to see another day!)

Skylie: Skylie is a friendly and polite girl who gets along with just about everyone she meets (or at least tries to). She finds foreign people fascinating because she's always sheltered in her little palace life. She would be particularly interested in Winnie because they both love reading. Skylie would want to help Blomi solve the Mystery of the Wailing Halls in Folkvar Castle, and together they might just free Sygbarne from her tower. One person Skylie doesn't get along with is the little brat Trista, and she would try to protect Nate from her. She would like to know the other royal offspring too, but since she's just a little girl, most of them aren't interested in talking to her...except Goryx, that evil fuck. He's a huge book nerd and so is Skylie, so I could imagine him preying on that to lure her into joining the Crescent Cult. Promising her unlimited knowledge and power, and she gets to wear a pretty mask! Skylie's read too many fantasy books about evil wizards to fall for his bullshit though. She probably kicks him in the nuts, tells security, and gets him booted from the function lol.

Cobalt: Nate and Trista are the only ones remotely close to Cobalt's age, but I don't think he'd get along with them because they actually act like kids, and he acts like...well, a highly neurotic adult. This kid's anxiety is so bad and his childhood is so strict. Especially since his mother and grandmother scare him with Lindist scripture, telling him how evil non-commoners and foreigners are, so he'd be terrified of everyone he encountered.

*

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