#because i know i can't handle it.
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There this piece of vent art I made in 6th grade that I can't stop looking over.
I don't fully understand
I can't help but be overly critical and have all these questions
Why is one side pink and the other blue?.. I know it was to make the purple heart, but what does that mean?. Why is the purple stuff all over me. I don't get that.
Is the blue a transgender thing because that wouldn't make any sense. I didn't even know transgender people were a thing.
Why didn't I color in 2 of the bows in my hair?
Why did I decide to not draw mouths? Or maybe I did on the older me, but then why is it half erased? Just get rid of the whole thing.
Missed a spot.
Tears don't work like this. Why isn't on your eye?
I just wanna know.
#cheeseburgerboy#i can tell something is wrong with me right now because i can't stop laughing and making noises.#i have a big headache#i feel sick when i open tumblr which is why i was supposed to delete it#so sick#i feel like my voice wants to come out but nothing is here.#i just don't feel good#i don't want to do this#because i know i can't handle it.#i don't want to deal with it#i want to give up#i don't like doing this#i think that i do. but if it doesn't go well i feel like a failure#i feel that way too much lately#why can't i do right#i have needs and i don't do anything about them#i love milk
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like truly there is nothing more heartbreaking than watching game franchises go from 2d art that's filled to the brim with personality and near flawlessly executed to middling 3d models.
#people keep tagging this like 'ops icon lets me know everything'#but this post was about the pokemon franchise. and professor layton sorry to disappoint#aa5 and 6 look like shit but thats not the fault of transitioning to 3d.#that's the fault of extremely mediocre art direction#PLVSPWAA and the TGAA duology prove that ace attorney can have beautiful 3d artwork!#Edit: I have to turn reblogs off on this post because I can't handle people assuming it's about ace attorney anymore#I know multiple video gam franchises I know I'm an aa fan but I am capable of posting about other things sometimes
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Fat people deserve mobility aids, too. No matter if it's connected to their fatness or not, because having a mobility issue that is connected to one's fatness won't change that they're still fat and still have the issue at hand. Fat people don't deserve to "tough it out" because fatness should be this divine punishment doled out to those who "deserve" it. Fat disabled people deserve to have the peace of mind that they can exist in whatever way is most comfortable and accessible to them
#disability#ableism#ableism tw#fatphobia#fatphobia tw#also if it's an issue solved by weight loss why would you want them to suffer until the weight loss helps wouldn't that DISCOURAGE them?#because if i were suffering the entire time i sure as fuck wouldn't want to keep going for the ~idea~ of it's gonna pay off!!!#also even if they 'made themself disabled' by being fat or anything else that doesn't matter. they're still disabled.#there is no 'good' disabled and 'bad' disabled and you cannot sort people into those categories#for every 'bad' fat disabled person there are multiple 'good' fat disabled people but you can't tell them apart often actually!#because you would have to know the intimate details of their medical history and familial lineage and tbh if you're...#...being a piece of shit to a disabled person because you assume they're guilty until proven innocent i don't blame others for being...#...weary of you and not wanting to be around you. because you've already proven you can't handle the IDEA of complex disabled experience
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Why are fandom discord servers some of the most stress inducing places in the world like why is it when you post anything into any chat it feels like either a) you're purposely being ignored or b) you've pissed someone off just by speaking. And it's such a pain in the dick because if you want any sort of help with anything or want to be even a little bit apart of a community you have to be in these servers. While the whole time it feels like that one meme picture of all the girls sneering at the camera because you dared show your face in there
#near unbearable and near impossible to find a fandom server that doesn't feel like being in high school#especially one fandom but if i say which i just know people will throw a tantrum because they can't handle seeing a negative opinion#and this isn't about mutuals or friends who'll see this it's about the hell that is fandom servers with more than 40 people in them#misc: salted#misc: personal#block those tags if you don't want to see this kind of post#greatest hits
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💖 Day 3.5 is now available! 💖
For the last couple of months, only Server Boosters had access to the 3.5 update... Buuuuut now it's available for everyone to play in the 14DWY Discord — and soon itch.io once I'm happy with the QA and state of the game — so please don't feel pressured to join unless you want to!!
The full devlog + even more screenshots are under the cut ^^
What's been added to the 3.5 version?
📺 Streamer Mode!
I've been told that it's difficult to stream and monetise age-restricted videos on YouTube and Twitch, so I added an option to remove the sexual content and strong language used in the demo.
Now y'all can invite Ren into your bed for cuddles without putting your streamer career on the line /silly /lh
This won't affect the 18+ rating or dark themes/elements of the game, however! Although Streamer Mode will prevent you from seeing any "gruesome" CGs in the future, most of the core elements of the game will still be tied to the choices and decisions you make. So you won't miss out on the overall experience by using streamer mode!!
⚙️ Custom Pronouns!
It only took me one entire year to get around to it, but you can finally choose your own preferred pronouns (or use a set of pronouns instead)... At the cost of being able to change them mid-game ^^;
Since the original pronoun screen wouldn't update until a new scene was displayed, I temporarily disabled the feature. But once I find a workaround, I'll bring it back!
💗 Choose how others perceive you!
You can now choose how the cast and narration perceive you! Originally, the narration was kept strictly gender-neutral (outside of pronouns and genitalia picked by the player), but this will soon change in future updates.
For more clarity: you don't get to choose the words specifically, but you can choose between masculine, feminine, and androgynous terms!
📋 Separate top and bottom genitalia!
You can now choose your tatas and pps separately! >:3
Alongside that, you can also choose your preferred body type!
I removed the "both" genitalia option because a few players still assumed it was an obscure version of "intersex". That wasn't my intention and I don't want to mislead anyone, so I took it out for now ^^;
I also didn't want to include a screenshot of the new genitalia choices in action (because it's NSFW), so y'all get the same character menu screen for the nth time instead lmao
📱 Relationship Screen Overhaul!
You can now change your own status for more immersion, and long-term Server Boosters will eventually be able to submit and use their own icon within the game as well!
Stalking finding your friends has now become easier by using "Buddy Maps"; a new app that allows you to see the location of all the cast members!
I want to offer players more incentive to check the relationship screen since they tend to miss the status updates, so hopefully this might help ;v;
It also says it "updates every few hours" so folks don't go overboard and check every 5 seconds to see where Ren is gdsghf (also keep in mind that he's a hacker lol)
🖤 Additional Scenes Update!
Day 2 received a brand new CG!!!!! Originally, I planned on only adding a few CGs sporadically throughout the game, but it didn't feel right to leave Day 2 so... empty... so I added a brand new CG to (hopefully) make things feel more balanced and natural!
If you decline Teo's offer on Day 3, Leon will now call and try to convince you to reconsider. However, players are still allowed to decline, and if they do, they'll reach a dead end.
After listening to feedback on itch, I changed some of the dialogue during Days 1-3 to make it seem more consistent! They're only small changes though, so it's honestly not worth looking for sdgjssga
🎶 Updated BGM and SFX!
I wanted to try out a different style of music to see if it fits the vibe of 14DWY more! The BGM features more acoustics to suit the "beachy" theme of Corland Bay, though I made a conscious effort to include piano elements as well to stay true to the original!!
I figured it'd be better to give players a live example before I make a poll (to see if they prefer the change or not) and publish it to Itch.
Some new SFX have also been added, though it's very minimal and honestly not that noticeable.
How to download and play the update?
(warning: clicking on the following links will open Discord!!) To download the Day 3.5 update, simply join the 14DWY Discord server, verify your age, and visit the "14dwy-updates" channel!
Alternatively, you can also wait until the update is publicly released on Itch to play it as well!! (It normally gets released shortly after a round of QA testing/getting feedback from the server, though I may release it earlier if I feel like it hehe ^^)
Enjoy!!
#14 days with you#14dwy#💖 — 14 days with queue.#🖤 — updates.#🖤 — spoilers.#I'm not gonna say much about my current doxxing situation because I've got it under control now + it's being handled privately#Plus I don't wanna give it/the people involved any unnecessary attention. I just wanna announce the update and Get Back To It™️#(''it'' bein the grind 💪 It never stops lmao /silly)#OG followers will also know that these topics aren't the vibe I normally have on this blog (or any of my accounts); so I don't think I'll—#—make ANOTHER public post about the situation and bring more attention to it (when I just want everything to be over and put to rest ^^;)#However I also don't want people to think that I'm... ignoring?? the situation entirely (because gettin doxxed is a very endangering thing)#So I DO want to quickly acknowledge it here and say that it's all currently handled + I'm safe and okay + this won't stop me from—#—continuing to work on 14DWY (and other future projects). I also don't want to give these awful people more power and incentive to continue#—this kind of pathetic behaviour; so the less attention and encouragement being shown will ultimately be better in the long run :3#Aaaaaanways!! ����💨#My other accounts will be restored shortly and my askbox will be opened once I feel comfortable. I'll get around to following folks—#—again in my own time; so please don't feel offended if I unfollowed you during a moment of vulnerability and anxiety!!#This is all EXTREMELY overwhelming and scary for someone with SAD/AvPD; and I /gen can't handle seeing it all over my timeline ;v;#Sorry this got ranty and personal again hjdsgjsdh T_T I said I wouldn't say much; so I'll shut up now hehe#🖤 — shut up sai.
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#kingdom hearts dream drop distance#khddd#sora#riku#nightmare's end#mirage split#my gif#i was going to write up a whole thing in the tags about my thoughts on this keyblade#but i just know it'll be an incoherent essay because i can't properly articulate my thoughts#the x-blade must be forged through a clash of light and darkness#but i find it so highly significant that sora and riku can create their own keyblade which is so unheard of#this keyblade isn't created with a clash but rather through harmony and balance#not with conflict but with understanding and connection and love#and i always felt as though that's how the x-blade SHOULD be forged. that master xehanort went about it all wrong#because balance and connections are such important themes in these games#it has two handles and looks so regal when combined. all of the shapes feel reminiscent of the x-blade too#it shines so brilliantly with both sora and riku's symbols. the heart and crown which is the iconic logo for the entire series#also the way stained glass is always used to represent hearts. it's so significant!#and yeah the paupu fruit keychain is its own thing to unpack#okay so i ended up writing something anyway but there's still so much more#i just really hope we get to see more of this in future games because it would be shocking if it was nothing more than a cool combo attack
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Actually so tired that people mainly focus on the bdsm when they talk about La Pianiste when we literally have this dynamic right here. Like, that's insane.
What if you were a little girl in her 40's who couldn't grow up because of your mother-wife who made you sleep in her bed and forced you to repress every sexual desires and thoughts of becoming your own person just to keep you close to her ? What if you fought back and yearned for dangerous things out of her reach ? But also, what if you let her because it's all you've ever known and been taught to want ?
#these two are so entangled with each other and in the roles they play#(mother and daughter. husband and wife. prodigal or ungrateful daughter. adoring or mocking mother)#that they cannot handle it when something else is thrown into the mix#There's no space left because they fill all the roles in each other's lives.#but at the same time they never give the other exactly what she wants#The fights never last. Erika will never live up to her mother's ambitions. And her mother will never give her any form of affection which#might satiate her hunger for love. And so on.#They are deeply imperfect- Love and Despise each other but they could never bear the thought of being separated#When I read the part in the book where Erika talks to Walter for the first time and all she wants is to go back into her mother's womb...#you can't make that shi up#when people talk about toxic yuri that's what they could mean but unfortunately we live in a society#gradually learning to accept the person I'm becoming who would've been burned at the stake by my younger self <3#been having so much thoughts about this film once again. And I know that nothing written here is new but I'm a little sad no one really#talks about this relationship online since it's really the heart of the story for me#Of course everything happening with Walter is important. But none of that would be there without the mother-daughter situation#la pianiste#the piano teacher#haneke#sheep stuffs#isabelle huppert#also I'd kinda get it if it was another film and it made people too uncomfortable to talk about it. but I mean this is literally La Pianist
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Just some Lilith thoughts:
I do not believe for one second that Lilith is as cool and composed and effortlessly poised as some of the fandom make her out to be. Now this is just personal opinion (and I know we don't actually know much about her) Look at the man she married. Look at the child she raised. I don't think she'd be quite as CHEERY/overly optimistic as Charlie or as goofy as Lucifer. But there is no way that woman is 100% serious all of the time. She's gotta have a sense of humour. I want her to seem as graceful/regal as she appears... and I also want her to be kind of a dork. She gets flustered too, she makes faces, maybe she snorts when she laughs, maybe she makes really really bad jokes... I just like the idea that all of the Morningstars are a lil' silly in their own way. Look at them.🥺
#hazbin hotel#lucilith#hazbin hotel lucifer#lucifer morningstar#lillith morningstar#hazbin hotel lilith#and believe me I don't think this is the lilith we'll get...#we don't even know if Lilith is actually “herself” right now technically...#because I can't fathom why she'd leave her family behind#and I don't know if I can handle her just... not being as kind as maybe charlie believed..#there's just a lot we don't know but until then... I choose to believe she was fun and fun loving
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Guessing Dungeon Meshi character classes, just for fun! Marcille is obviously a wizard, and Chilchuck is a rogue. Senshi seems to be a fighter with one (1) level in ranger, favored terrain: dungeon. Falin functions as a cleric, but in a system without divine patrons.
Laios..... Laios is a paladin, but he's a pathfinder paladin. A tank with some limited healing capability. All his points slam dunked into animal handling to compensate for his charisma modifier.
#not getting into any multiclasses later on#no anime spoilers#but my boy is a bard of course#dungeon meshi#dunmeshi#senshi can't have more than one level in ranger because it becomes a spellcasting class at level 2#also before you @ me animal handling is a charisma check in pathfinder#I know it's wisdom in 5e#but also#is anyone gonna argue that he wouldn't have to compensate for his wisdom modifier as well?
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WHY IS THE NINJAGO FANDOM OUTSIDE OF TUMBLR SO FUCKING TOXIC
#“NInjAgO weNT tO sHiT afTeR SEasOn 7”#just say you can't handle change wtf#if you left after season 7 then why are you still here??#STOP BASHING EVERYONE WHO LIKES ANYTHING AFTER S7 BECAUSE YOU CAN'T HANDLE CHANGE#these are the same kinds of people as the savemyboycole crowd#like seriously#you're watching a KIDS SHOW and getting mad at the writers for making decisions about the KIDS SHOW to sell more KIDS TOYS#it's literally a lego show to sell lego toys it's not that fucking deep stop harassing people#fucking grow up!!#and i know those fans don't really hang out on tumblr#i just needed to vent#i feel better now#thank you#ninjago#ninjago dragons rising
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some rather strong first impressions were made.
required reading for the magical "voice" headcanon and another for starstruck's signature in particular. asked by @trainerbob23 !
#did i need to do a 9 page comic for this... well who knows. i had this scene in mind for a long time and wanted to do it justice!#important moment for both of them. you can see starstruck just generating the bandee shaped mental illness in real time.#and bandee resolving to be her point of contact with waddle dees if the others can't handle it#he is after all; the strongest and the bravest and the best of them.#“what is this signature like” it's like meeting something that has a human face but you can tell it is Not Human. think: uncanny valley#it also took her quite some time to pick up her own voice. she could not speak (popstarian) on her own for a while#she does not mimic anymore though if she can help it because it tends to weird others out and she wants to avoid that!!#it's not like a fun or enjoyable impersonation; it's like a perfect recording on a device.#also i guess this is *finally* the reveal of the 'hospital' mentioned previously that folks noticed and also like... her name 😂#anyway.... thank you to everyone who voted for starstruck in that poll and has encouraged this insane self indulgence... wow.#never thought i'd get to draw stuff like this and have others look forward to it. i really hope you'll enjoy this!!!#my art#my comics#starstruck dee#bandana waddle dee
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Genuinely i wonder how common it is to hallucinate / perceive things oddly / have a notably altered perception of things
#alda rambling#I feel like no one ever talks about it near me so I don't know#If its just that no one else feels it or I'm the only one freaking out about it#Maybe everyone or many ppl feel the way I feel and I'm the only person who can't handle it#Or very few people feel how I feel and I'm repressing it to fit in#Isn't there some kind of group for this. Do I have to join reddit. I don't want to join reddit#I've definitely talked about it before but ahaha. No answers you see. So I continue#(If you have experience with this I'd appreciate a line xo )#I mean. I'm a textbook case of Keeping It To Myself#But also I fear I have main character syndrome#Which makes me think I'm faking everything and I'm just a normal gal who needs attention#But isn't THAT a bit of a mental hypochondriac thing too?#So am I faking for attention or is it real because of a need for attention#Either way I lose lmao so that means it must be real#No but seriously. If you have experience with this I'd love a reach-out it does have me slightly freaked out.
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thinking abt kon getting hurt/upset about something big and clark bundling him up in his cape... ouuhhhhh souperfam save me...
#rimi talks#kon is clark's little guy. and when i stop being sleepy i will have further things to say about this#specifically i just think often abt kon's independence vs clark's protectiveness#and kon and the arc of having to accept that he can ask for help sometimes actually#like the post sb94 no. 100 fic that lives in my head#where clark is like WHY DIDNT YOU TELL ME YOU WERE HOMELESS YOU ARE LITTLE AND SMALL I WOULDVE HELPED SOONER#and kon is like uhhh wdym. i didnt want to burden you and anyways i can handle myself??#and clark is like You Are Sixteen And You Were Homeless And Then Getting Majorly Exploited--#but kon is sixteen and doesn't even understand that he was getting exploited for housing. because he is sixteen.#and clark just wants to wrap him in his cape and protect him forever. but he can't bc kon would hate that.#but also kon's constant need to prove himself as worthy of the S...#the way he strives to prove he ''deserves'' superman's respect + care...#mae ripping off his s-shields and telling him he wasn't worthy of them really did a number on him 💀#like clark doesnt even know kon tried to kill himself to ''prove'' his worth. oh my god#okay i need to take a nap but my god. you guys. souperfam...#kon#clark#superfam
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You know for comedians, you're all a little out of touch.
HACKS Season 3, Episode 4 "Join the Club"
#tw homophobia#hacks hbo#deborah vance#tvfilmgifs#tvgifs#tvandfilm#lgbtsource#tvedit#so many things i wanted to gif from ep 3#AND THEN EPISODE 4 HAPPENED#so much to unpack here friends#this was so personal to her#even when ava asks if she was defending her#she redirects with a joke#ahhhhhhhhhhhhh#ALSO THE STUFF ABOUT HER DAD AFTER THE DJ EP#JPL LOVE LOVE LOVE TO DROP INFO THAT IMMEDIATELY RECONTEXTULIZES WHAT WE'RE BEING SHOWN#and just the way i have to keep reminding myself she went a YEAR without ava's influence#she is so cut off and cold to those around her especially dj#because ava was the one that challenged her to open up#ava is the catalyst#and with out her it was SAFE and she regressed#AND NOW SHE'S BACK#the way she simultaneously can't be vulnerable enough to say she was defending ava and cares about her#but also absolutely the INTERPRETATION for more is there#and i actually can't handle people acting like they KNOW it's difinitively not that
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Holy crap I completely forgot I attempted to download the entire Unus Annus channel right before it got deleted. I just found an old hard drive in my desk I forgot I even had, and like - dude. I have no idea how many videos are on here but it HAS to be in the triple digits, including thumbnails. This is friggin' insane.
#unus annus#markiplier#crankgameplays#also I realize that goes against the entire purpose of the channel#I know that#I don't really remember trying to download these in the first place so I can't tell you where the motivation came from#I only saw like two videos back then because a lot of them dealt with some existential topics and I can't handle that kind of thing usually#so maybe I had fomo regret at the time - who can say?#I don't intend to share them on YouTube or anything like that because I know Mark and Ethan didn't want that#I just think it's bonkers that I have a partial archive of something that no longer exists on the internet#this is the coolest thing I ever forgot I did#ADHD is a trip man
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jason robertson postgame — DAL vs CHI — 12.29.24
[how do you feel about your individual game lately? seems like you might’ve been trending in the right direction — how do you feel like you’ve been playing recently?] yeah, i think, um … i mean, i think december’s been trending in the right way. um, definitely feeling better, feeling better. um — thirty-five games in … you wanna try to get on a roll here. and what’s exciting is we have a whole new year coming soon, so. um, yeah, i can move on and try to build off of it and get excited for the new year. [what’s the process been like coming back from the surgery? it’s something you’ve never had to do before, right?] yeah, i mean (brief unintelligible mumble) it’s been, you know, five — i don’t know, five months since the surgery, so, it’s been a long time, but, i mean (shrugs) still, without an off-season it’s definitely (laughs) definitely — still, you still don’t feel great without an off-season, and trying to adapt, and then you’re trying to play catch-up, and then you’re trying to forget about the catching up, and try to focus on a new page, so — i’m happy that december’s been trending in the right direction, and i’ll try to turn the page going into the new year.
#hockeyedit#hockey#stars#dallas stars#jason robertson#all of his reactions to not being 100% healthy for maybe the first time ever in his hockey playing life are genuinely so fascinating to me#or his reactions to being made to TALK about it are fascinating#guy famed for being chill and go with the flow but also very very assured of his own talent faces a roadblock for the first time ever#& does NOT know how to talk about it & still seem chill and normal.#and is also perhaps not handling the roadblock all that well!!#anyone interested in robo interiority should 100% watch these last two questions from this media avail. body language off the charts#heika's question essentially gives him an out for taking some time to find his footing because it IS his first time in this situation#& jason is like well FIRST OF ALL that surgery happened a lifetime ago and also it all sucked but also i'm being So Well Adjusted about it#You Have To Keep Going. Dear God I Can't Believe People Just Keep Going When Shit Gets Like This. This Shit Sucks. etc etc etc#on a more lighthearted note i think it's fun that he's apparently a new year's guy?? goes hand in hand with him being a christmas guy#dude who seems to wholeheartedly buy into each holiday's Thing#z:edit
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