#because i have too many ideas to not wanna work on
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. . SYNC-LOVE
° ˖ ➴ i don't wanna play this stupid love game.
### . STARRING ⌢ OT4 ⋆ crack. fluff. + 0.8k // dating as a bet trope + slight implied angst + intentional lowercase ˖ ✧
🗨️ .. ⌞ XOXO ⌝ kep1ers discography is so fire dude + [m.list]
౨ৎ ˖ 유��민 — ❪ YU JIMIN ❫
to be fair, karina is too level headed to be inherently okay playing with someone’s feelings and potentially hurting them really bad just “for funsies.” so she’d really need some good manipulation to convince her. but once she commits, you just know she’d go all out.
would do it in such a flawless way too; her strategy would first and foremost involve befriending you to gain your trust. only after she knows there’s no way you’d refuse her, would she start dropping hints of her being romantically “interested” in you.
there’s no room for error in her plan, after all. but then, she ends up getting too invested in you and your eyes, your smile, your flustered little giggles whenever she acts a little too bold.
there’s an actual moment where she can physically feel her entire being go, “oh, fuck.” and suddenly, she’s in too deep.
nothing she could do now would be able to justify her actions. while rina’s stewing, wondering if there’s anything, anything at all that she can do to protect you, one of her scumbag friends who urged her towards the bet probably beats her to it, letting info about it slip mid conversation. cue angst of the highest quality.
⋅ ˚ ଳ ₊ ‧ others utc
౨ৎ ˖ うちながえり — ❪ UCHINAGA AERI ❫
when faced with the idea of the bet, giselle’s actions would solely depend on what’s at stake. only if the money or other perks offered are something she really can’t pass up on will she even consider agreeing.
if not, of course, it’s a flat out refusal. but (for the sake of plot) assuming she does agree to it, she’s being straight up with you from the get go. approaches you one day, and tells you all about the bet as diplomatically as she can.
my girl really don’t gaf, she’ll ask you to split profits for fake dating her for a couple months. even if by the end of it you don't end up dating, you'll at least have a new partner in crime so it's really a win win! ⋆
if you do end up catching feelings, she'll make so many references to your origin story, everyone around you would be sick of it. would call you the bonnie to her clyde ><
౨ৎ ˖ 김민정 — ❪ KIM MINJEONG ❫
i’m thinking idiots to lovers, 10k, slow burn.
99% chance that her friends only said it because she's been crushing on you for a while now but refused to admit it. and for the bet, winter really tries hard. like, she really does. but her method of doing it is just … so odd that you’re just left confused about what’s going on. asks you out on a complete whim (like maybe 1 minute after agreeing to the bet), but she’s quite clumsy – embarrassed, even, about it.
she's totally unsure of how exactly to go about it – it’s rather endearing, really. so you end up saying yes. mostly only because she’s cute. and then she drags you on a couple awkward dates with her after which she decides to come clean because she feels too bad (also her heart can't really take how you're so ... perfect with her).
but lmfao by that time you've probably grown super fond of her so you just kiss her cheek and ask her if you can take her out on an actual, proper date. to make up for the whole bet thing, of course. no other reason! <3
౨ৎ ˖ 宁艺卓 — ❪ NING YIZHUO ❫
similar to winter, she tries her hardest (for the plot ><) and honestly it might have had the potential to work as well as karina’s save for the fact that her reputation ended up being her downfall.
she’s known for being goofy, funny and silly so you don’t really take it seriously when she pulls up with a whole ass bouquet, chocolates, love letters – any big romantic gesture, you name it, ready to serenade you. hence, the entire process of you actually agreeing to date her ends up being just so, so drawn out.
by the end of it you do somewhat catch feelings for real but ningning would be so shocked that at first she'd withdraw from you completely. ghost you for a little before you corner her against a wall or something and demand an explanation. at which point she'd realize that ... you're actually so cute like this? and ... why is her heart beating so fast right now? the judge's ruling is an obligatory happy ending with her impulsively kissing you to stop your rants about how she's such a hypocrite to chase after you and then run away the second you reciprocated.
handsomely bribes her friends to never bring up the bet because she can't afford losing you. <3 (you probably alr know though. she ain't discreet.)
𐙚 . regulars : none yet! ⋆
[@bambisnc] 2k25
#ㅤㅤ[ 📋 ⋆ 𐙚 ]#div from lil-liaa#karina#aespa karina#yoo jimin#yu jimin#giselle x reader#aespa x reader#karina x reader#kim minjeong x reader#minjeong x reader#aespa#kpop gg#kpop imagines#karina aespa#aespa headcanons#ningning#ning yizhuo#ningning x reader#winter#kim minjeong#uchinaga aeri#giselle#aespa giselle#aespa winter#aespa ningning#aespa imagines#winter x reader
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hey babe 🩷 if you have the time or inspiration to write please consider fake dating to lovers with Clark Kent, like a to all the boys I’ve loved before typa situation
a/n: thank u for the request anon!!! sorry it took me a bit to get around to it - i can be a busy busy gal.
"you want me to what?"
clark's voice is unlike anything you'd ever heard from him, his shock nothing less than apparent. you shush him, looking around the hallway to see if anyone's noticed. it's lucky for you that nobody did.
"come on, clark. it's one night! not even! it's like, a few hours at most."
"can't you ask someone else? pete?"
"i don't want to ask pete. he won't be able to sell it."
"and you think i can?" he's exasperated, leaning closer to you as if he's suddenly aware how many people could overhear this conversation. "i'm a horrible liar."
"please? you know how my family can be," you whisper, looking up at clark. he sighs, hanging his head. he does know how your family can be—overbearing—which is exactly why he's hesitant. but you're you, so how can he actually say no?
"okay. okay, fine."
"really?" you ask, nearly jumping out of your skin. your arms slide around clark's neck as you excitedly let out a few small 'thank you's. clark's still frozen in place from his decision, but forces one of his arms to slide awkwardly around your hip. he's in for it, isn't he?
the ringing of the school bell pulls the two of you apart, and you quickly shut your locker, making your way towards your first class. clark keeps his place beside you. "so, what does this mean, exactly? what do you want from me?"
"jeez, clark, that sounds like i'm holding you hostage. it's just a favor."
"yeah, yeah. whatever. what do you need me to do?" he asks, taking his seat next to you at the lab table.
"i don't know. whatever feels natural," you say, bending to the side to pull your textbook out of your bag, a gesture which clark never would've took a second glance at. but today, with your hair falling in front of your face (and then you pushing it away), something's different. he doesn't even notice he forgot to say something in response to you until you glance back at him, confused at his silence.
"uh—" he clears his throat. "how am i supposed to know what's natural? we've never dated before." oops. overly sarcastic.
"have you never even considered it?"
"what?" clark's baffled by your question, but you ask it so casually, like it's not taking the ground out from beneath his feet. it's not that he hasn't considered it. it's that he has. he knows all too well how he wants to walk with his arm around your shoulders, how he wants to have you cuddle into his side as you watch a movie, how he wants to absolutely spoil you—as if he has the money for that anyway. "i—"
"you know what? forget i said that. i don't wanna know," you mutter. "just, like, pretend like you're obsessed with me, i don't know."
"hey, lovebirds! you done?" the teacher calls from the front of the classroom.
as clark starts, "oh, we're n—"
you say, "sorry! we're sorry." and then the both of you, red in your faces, stay silent. you barely even move, feeling reprimanded, even though your teacher was barely offended.
when the teacher lets the class work in pairs, clark decides to use the time to talk to you instead. he could do the work later. "can you just give me an idea of what the night's going to look like, at least?"
you take a quick glance at the teacher, making sure her eyes aren't on you and clark. "you'll come over and i'll introduce you as my boyfriend. my parents won't be suspicious, because i'll start bringing it up today. and they won't be too intimidating. my uncle might, but they'll love you. there's something about you that screams 'good guy' and they'll pick up on it." you twirl the pen in your hands. "it'll be fine. you have nothing to worry about, really." clark feels his heart skip a beat when you place your hand on his bicep—which is supposed to be a comforting gesture. what's happening to him? you've touched him before. plenty of times, actually. this shouldn't mean a thing.
a few days later, and clark is taking deep breaths as he walks down the path to your front door. before he can even meet the porch, you're outside, greeting him. he nearly stops in his tracks when he sees you, your hair half up, half down. the dress you're wearing is baby pink, and something about this sight—seeing you so... girly does something to him, even if he won't admit it.
"hi," you say, breaking the awkward silence. "ignore the dress, i'm trying something a little different."
"no, it's good. you look great," he forces. and then, he remembers he's supposed to be your boyfriend, he's allowed to flirt with you. "you look really pretty." he swears he sees your expression change, like you're nervous. it makes his hand tense, and he nearly crushes the stems of the flowers he forgot he's holding. "oh, these are for you."
"thank you. this is..."
"good enough, i hope?"
"better. i knew you wouldn't let me down."
"can't leave my girlfriend hanging, can i?" oh. oh. that gets you. and clark knows it, too.
"uh—" you start, looking at him with what can only be described as a mix of shock and infatuation. "we should go inside."
and as you're walking towards your front door—"i should call you something, shouldn't i?"
"what?" you turn back around, facing him.
"honey," he tries. "no, too mature. babe?" clark watches your reactions carefully, and even though you seem affected, 'babe' doesn't have the punch he was hoping for. "sweetheart?" bingo.
"sweetheart is fine," you mutter, trying to ignore the way your face heats up.
"okay, sweetheart. you ready for this?" you nod, walking towards the door with clark at your side. "what about princess?"
"too much. you can't call me that in front of my family."
"but i can call you that when we're alone?"
"clark!"
"it's just a question, sweetheart," clark teases, fighting back a chuckle. he could do this the rest of his life.
part two coming soon?!
#clark kent smallville#clark kent x reader#smallville x reader#pete mention#clark kent#need him to call me sweetheart rn
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✦ happy birthday.
⤷ synopsis: an extremely late shoto birthday post, featuring your kid. (i sincerely apologise, i was meant to write this like last week, but BAM! exams. whoopsies. either way, take it or leave it. happy one month late birthday, shoto.)
⤷ a/n : for some unknown reason all the dividers i had in my photos literally just disappeared? i have no idea where they all went. I had so many cute ones, someone pls give me purple dividers i'm begging. anyways here, take a cute dad shoto on his birthday
⤷ warnings : fluff, f!reader, dad!shoto, husband! shoto, you have a daughter called rumi (but feel free to change the name in your head), absolutely not proofread—what are we expecting?, an unfortunate mention of endeavour, long as FUCK, i don't know what else to include ngl, bonus little smut piece at the end but you can skip over that if you want (it doesn't contribute to the plot)
january 11th. 26 years ago, one of the top Pro Heroes was born-who just so happens to also be your best friend, partner-in-crime, husband, and father of your gorgeous baby girl.
he's never been excited about his birthday (you can thank his father for that) but as the years go by, you're determined to change this—you know you can't alter the past and the memories that come with his prior birthdays, but the pen is in your hands now, and you can write your future. so, when he's out on his last-minute patrol of the city, you're decorating the house for his arrival. you went out the day prior under the pretence of "shopping for rumi", and instead went to go buy him a lot of gifts. he can never have too much, you think; he deserves it all. especially this year, marking the peak of his career and his first birthday with your daughter.
he comes home just moments after you finish setting everything up, and you can hear the house keys rattle in the door. you grin, quickly picking your daughter up—who you dressed up in his merch that looks like his hero costume—and checking your face in the mirror. the door opens as he's putting the keys back in his pocket. "my—Jesus Christ," his announcement of his arrival is cut short as he looks up and at all of the decorations you worked so hard to make absolutely perfect. he looks so in awe, exactly like a little kid who just stepped foot into his own birthday party—which this pretty much is. the house—mainly the living room—is decorated in hues of red and white and gold, the coffee table sporting gifts galore, plus a bouquet of red and white roses (that you arranged meticulously so that the white roses form a heart) with a small card embedded in the middle.
"surprise!" you quickly walk up to him, pressing a fat kiss to his cheek. your daughter reaches out for her dad with her baby hands, and he immediately takes her into his arms, studying her little outfit with the widest smile on his face. "happy birthday, baby."
"i don't—my love, why?" he's dumbfounded as he stares down at rumi whilst bringing her to his chest, who in response just grips at his hero costume in her tight, tiny little fists.
"what do you mean 'why'?" you tilt your head, still smiling at him fondly.
"because... god, love, i don't even like my birthday, and you've gone and done all this," he waves his free hand with a flourish, gesturing at all your decorations you so liberally put up.
"but birthday's are a thing to celebrate, shoto," you say as you dragged him over to the couch by his arm. "listen, i know you didn't have the best birthdays growing up. i mean, they were just treated as every other day, and that's why i want to change that. that's why i always try and go extra, just for you."
"i don't—" he starts, trying to say how he 'doesn't deserve it', but you cut him off.
"shush, you do deserve it, i don't wanna hear otherwise," you put your foot down on the matter, not leaving room for discussion over it. he leans back against the sofa cushions and taking a moment again to take in everything you did. for him. for his birthday. he subconsciously spins the band that sits perfectly on his left ring finger, like he's reminding himself that you're his, that you seriously did this. your daughter also looks around the room with her big, wide eyes, but they're more so on the gold of the wrapping paper.
you bring forward the bouquet from the table. "you always get me flowers, but i feel like i don't get you them enough. so, here you go. flowers," you push them towards him, but you then realise you're missing an important detail. "oh right, the child. swapsies?"
he chuckles at your request, nodding slightly. you set the bouquet down beside him on the couch, taking your daughter from his arms whilst he takes the bouquet. his eyes immediately fall onto the card concealed inside the gold envelope, and he plucks it out carefully. the envelope reads 'My dear husband’, on the front in neat handwriting, and he looks up at you.
"what? it's a card. you can't have a birthday without a card," you plop yourself next to him as he gently opens the card, and rumi's hands immediately go to the discarded envelope. “i pulled out my best handwriting for this.”
“my, your best handwriting? for me? i’m touched, my love. truly,” he laughs, pulling out the card inside. and he runs his finger over it before opening the card, reading its contents. you bounce rumi on your knee as he does—for some reason, you feel like a teenager watching her crush read the confession note she put in his locker, and the way he’s scanning over the words over and over again is honestly making you a little nervous. but he smiles after a moment of reading, and leans over to kiss the side of your head. “you’re cute,” he mumbles against your hair, going to put the card back in the envelope.
“shut up,” you mumble. “wait, don’t put the card back yet. look inside the envelope again,” you tell him, intently watching his face for his reaction when he looks inside.
he looks at you confused before placing the card down beside him (he ends up putting it on the coffee table once he sees your baby reach for it, however. he doesn’t want it to suffer the same fate as the now ripped and slightly chewed envelope, he wants to cherish the letters inside for a little while longer, at least) and looking in the envelope again. two polaroids sit inside, and he pulls them out. “what are these?”
“polaroids,” you say simply.
“i’m aware. i meant as in the phot—” he cuts himself off once he flips one of them around so he can properly look at the picture on it. it’s a picture of you and him at his fourth birthday, sitting side by side as he blows out the candles on his small little cake. you’re wearing a party hat and a toothy smile, and he’s smiling softly. it wasn’t the best day of his life, you both could say that much; the party was only thrown because it was the day he was to get his quirk, and his father—dressed in a reputation he so desperately wanted to build—had invited every parent in his kindergarten class, which included you. endeavour wanted to boast about his youngest son’s quirk to all the other parents, but you were one of the only kids there who actually wanted to be there, everyone else just wanted to go home. most did, actually.
he looks starstruck as he looks down at the polaroid, a little confused as to where you even attained this, even. he sighs softly, running his thumb over your face. “you were cute back then,” he comments, to which you raise an eyebrow teasingly.
“you saying i’m not cute now, shoto?”
“that’s not what i meant and you know it, sweetheart. you’re always cute, you were just cuter back then.”
“excuses,” you mutter playfully before turning the other polaroid around. it’s a picture of his mother in the hospital, carefully cradling a swaddled-shoto against her chest.
“okay, one question before anything else. where the hell did you get these?” he turns his head to look at you fully. you shrug.
“your sister.”
“checks out,” he grumbles before studying the photo again.
“apparently, according to her, this was taken by touya,” he freezes at the mention of his eldest brother. “apparently. i don’t know how true that is, i didn’t press, but see that smudge looking thing in the corner? that’s his thumb. probably. again, how would i know?”
he looks to the right corner and, sure enough, there is a blur of something there. he lets out a breath. “touya, of all people, touya took the first photo of me?” he mumbles, studying the picture once more before tucking both of them, and the card, back into the envelope. he places it, along with the flowers, back on the coffee table and then pulls you into his side, holding you and rumi close.
“thank you, love. really,” he mumbles against your head, pressing gentle kisses to it.
“happy birthday, shoto,” you whisper, and rumi babbles into the conversation, to which you both silently laugh at.
BONUS. (smut ahead) (wow first smut post)
⤷ everyone is over 18!!!!!!!!, f/afab!reader, fingering, oral sex (f receiving), shoto’s a cocky (haha get it) little shit, penetration, tits? is that a warning?, literally made up as i go, first time like properly writing smut pls bear with me i have no idea what the fuck i’m doing, say it with me: shoto’s a little shit, kinda rushed this part cause i really wanna sleep
at this point, the sun had set. the three of you went out to a restaurant (which you paid for, obviously) and ate to your hearts content—although your daughter just had milk, but the way she conked out during the drive back was more than enough evidence that she, too, was full—and then did the whole cake thing after putting rumi to sleep in her nursery. now, you find yourself laying in the middle of your bed with shoto attacking your neck and chest with kisses, plus the occasional nip here and there.
how did you get here, exactly?
“i don’t need thanking, shoto. i feel like a broken record saying that, just shut your mouth and accept this,” you huff as you tell him for what seems like the fiftieth time. your husband’s so set on ‘showing you his gratitude’, as he puts it, and as much as you try to refuse, you know shoto will get his way. he always does, no matter what you do. the minute you guys walked into your bedroom, his lips were crashing on yours as he walked you both backwards to the bed. his hand stayed planted on the back of your head, tilting it slightly to deepen the kiss before he was pushing you back onto the mattress and moving on top of you, straddling your legs to keep them down as he removed your top, revealing your bare torso under. he ran his hands over the newly-exposed skin gently, his calloused fingertips sending shivers through you.
and now this is where you are—under him as he moves down your body, practically worshiping every inch, committing all of it to memory.
“i think you should be shutting your mouth. you’ve done way more than enough for me today, it’s wrong not to thank the provider,” he hums against your skin, hooking his fingers into the waistband of both your leggings and panties. “may i?” he asks as he straightens up and looks you straight in the eye, his voice a little softer, yet still tinged with that lingering desire.
you swallow as you look up at him. he knows what he’s doing, you know that he knows what he’s doing. he has that slightly cocky look on his face, the one that says he’s so aware he already has slick looking in your panties just from a little bit of making out, and yet he has the audacity to ask you if he can take them off. the audacity to think you’re gonna say no—you’re already nodding, even though you know he’d do it anyway, and soon enough, the last bit of your clothing is joining the shirt your husband so elegantly discarded to the floor.
he spreads your legs just that little bit wider, running two fingers through your folds, your pussy already dripping for him. he smiles at the sight. “see? you do want me to show my appreciation, don’t deny it,” he teases, and you open your mouth to respond, but the words are queued behind a moan as those two fingers are thrust into you without warning, curling up immediately to rub against your g-spot. fuck him and his ability to navigate your body so damn well, you think, but god does it feel too good to even try and curse him out. but just as you go to moan for more, his fingers slip out of you, and you whine at the loss of friction.
he raises an eyebrow at your little noise, then shakes his head before pulling you closer to the edge of the mattress by your hips and sinking to his knees in front of you, between your legs. he slowly, slowly, kisses up the length of the inside of your thighs, and just when you think he’s actually going to put his mouth where you want—need—him to, he just pulls further back.
“shoto, i swear to god if you don’t put that mouth o—fuck,” he cuts you off quickly with a soft yet firm suck on your clit, making you mewl in response.
“what was that?” he pulls away, looking up at you from between to your thighs.
“nothing. never mind. i retract my statement.”
“that’s what i thought. let me enjoy my gift,” he says annoyingly calmly, as if he’s not torturing the life out of you. that paired with his smooth, low voice reaching your ears as he says that just serves to turn you on more. and then his tongue is running up your slit, the contact causing your hand to fly up and into his hair. he laughs against your core, the vibrations coursing through you like electricity as he laps at your juices.
it doesn’t take long for you to be writhing on the bed, and your back arches deeply when he returns his fingers inside you again, and it’s like he’s on a mission to make you come quickly. his fingers curl in that same, skilled way as his mouth makes quick work of your clit. shoto’s a tease, that’s well known, but what he also is right now is desperate. the moment he stepped through the front door that afternoon, his mind immediately thought of how well he’s going to fuck you.
the more logical side of his brain is telling him to get you to come first, but his dick says otherwise with the way it’s straining against his boxers, having made quick work of his trousers whilst kissing your body. he doesn’t listen to his brain this time; standing up, he pulls his boxers down and runs the head through your wetness before stroking it a couple times. his breathing is deep, laboured yet controlled—a stark contrast to your short, shallow breaths. his eyes are locked on your tits as you take those breaths, his free hand going to one of them to knead and tug at your hardened nipple. you mewl, the short and sweet sound turning into a loud moan as his cock sheathes itself inside of you fully, his hips meeting yours as he bottoms out in one deep stroke. he lets out a sharp breath, groaning at the feeling of your walls, warm and wet, clenching around him.
“fuck, i missed this,” he curses, his head tilting back slightly as he begins to move, pulling back to just the tip before slamming into you once again, the hand playing with your breast clamping over your mouth before you’re able to cry out again. “i hope you’re aware of the child in the other room.”
you just nod, it’s all you’re able to do now with his hand tight over your mouth, and you bite your tongue to keep from moaning. a small part of you wants to curse at him for reminding you of that fact right now, but the bigger part of you is already drunk on his cock as he drags it through your cunt in that pace that allows you to feel every inch, every ridge. but that’s just the start; it’s not long before he abandons all care and starts fucking you properly, the pace of his hips increasing with every muffled noise you make. he watches your hands gripping the sheets below you, but he doesn’t like that. instead he takes your hand in his and interlocks your fingers, keeping it pinned by your side. it acts as an anchor, as something for you to hold on to as he fucks you. periodically, he’ll squeeze it three times—your little way of saying ‘i love you’—but you barely notice it as your vision already starts to blur.
your back bows off the bed as you near your orgasm, your eyes squeezing shut and brimming with un-shed tears whilst stars dance behind your eyelids. he smiles again when he realises this, when he feels the way your pussy tightens around his length, and he can already tell that he definitely won’t be far behind once you do come. his hand leaves yours momentarily, just to press on your stomach to keep your body still against the mattress, but the feeling of his large hand splayed and applying pressure to the majority of your lower stomach is enough to get you to almost choke on a moan and come almost instantly around his cock without any further warning.
he lets out a guttural groan from deep within him when your walls close in on him intensely, still slamming into you with intense fervour a few more times before he leans down and presses his forehead against yours, mumbling out a spew of ‘i love you’s and ‘you’re so good for me, s’good, the best pussy, the best birthday present’ before removing his hands from your mouth just to shut you up again by pressing his lips against yours messily as he comes, filling you up.
you both sink—you into the mattress and him sinking on top of your body, his chest pressed against yours as he’s still kissing you sloppily. after a second of silence (that’s actually not silent and just filled with heavy breathing from both of you), he smiles against your mouth before pulling back just slightly to whisper to you. “tha—” you don’t let him get a word in, just tilting your head up to meet his lips with yours one more time, and then back.
“i said shut it. you already thanked me,” you mumble.
“i’m thanking you again.”
“no thanks, i’m okay.”
he rolls his eyes at your phrase. “mmkay, sure,” he sighs as he straightens up, pulling out of you. he watches intently as his cum drips out of your hole, and he has to fight the urge to push it back in with his fingers.
the rest of his birthday night is spent taking care of you; cleaning you both up with a much-needed shower, feeding you more cake, plus forcing him to go check on your daughter when her whines can be heard from the baby monitor. when met with the question ‘why can’t you?’, you respond with ‘you just fucked my soul out and tucked me back in, my legs are still shaking—yes, still, even if it’s been 50 minutes, that was probably one of the most intense orgasms i’ve had, never press on my stomach again.’ to which he’ll laugh at and surrender, going to check on your daughter.
#long ass post#i’m sorry#my bad gang#just kidding#i don’t care#bnha shoto#pro hero shoto#shoto fluff#shoto todoroki#shoto x reader#shoto x y/n#shoto x you#shotoncanon#shouto smut
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So many thoughts
He was gripping the steering wheel of the blue Bronco, and you waited silently for the engine to start. But it didn't. He barely moved. And you barely moved. But you couldn't step away from the window even as the light inside the Bronco faded into the night. Everything was silent. Your pounding heartbeat was all you could hear as the baby squirmed around in your belly like she knew her father was too far away from her now. Minutes passed, and you sank down onto the couch, but Bradley never started the engine.
I can't 😭
Your emotions were a mess as you eventually left the couch to get ready for bed. After you checked on Rose, finding her sound asleep in her crib without a care in the world, you peeked outside one more time. Bradley was still in the driveway, watching over the Craftsman and everything inside. You took your broken heart to bed, trying your best to fall asleep through your tears.
And I am trying to read through my tears 🥲
It was cold outside this late in October, but Bradley sucked it up. He was certain you knew he was still sitting in the driveway, and he didn't want to start the engine at three in the morning and startle you. Or make you think he was leaving. He wasn't going anywhere. So he let the cold surround him. Maybe you didn't want him in the house with you and Rose at the moment, but it was his responsibility to protect his family.
I respect that
Between small spurts of sleep, his mind drifted to the idea of you and Rose packing up everything in the house and moving across the country to live with your parents. It left him on the verge of panic each time. He bought the house for you. He had a family because of you. He was living beyond his wildest dreams married to you.
I just wanna give him a hug 🫂
There was no way to convince you he wasn't lying. There was nothing he could say at this point that wouldn't sound like he was trying to cover his own ass. You could talk to Mav or Nat or Jake until they were blue in the face, but if you didn't trust him, it would sound like everyone was covering for him. Because truthfully, only he and Lieutenant Jeffries knew for sure that Bradley had never touched her.
Unfortunately this is very true..
I'm leaving for work. If you want to talk, come find me, and I'll clear my schedule. We'll figure this out. We have to, because I can't live without you. I love you.
🥺🥺🥺
His stomach growled as he drove, reminding him he didn't get to enjoy what you cooked for dinner last night. He'd been missing dinner too often. It was almost Halloween, and the two of you should have been planning a costume for Rose to wear. He should have been working on an anniversary getaway for November. He'd been fucking up a lot for someone who wasn't aware he was doing it, but he certainly wasn't an adulterer.
I'm glad though that this serves as a reminder that he hast to get his husband and dad duties back in order☝🏻
Once again, he thought about you throwing all your fancy kitchen gadgets in a box and leaving without a backward glance in his direction. Bradley's hands shook, and he didn't know how he'd make it through the day at this rate.
I really hope for everyone's safety he is not going in the air today 🥴
The walk to his office was long, but not long enough for inspiration to strike. Maybe Nat could give him some advice. She'd been harping on about girl code the other day. As much as he hated to admit it, Jake might be a helpful ally right now. He was a big fan of yours, and always quick to remind Bradley he'd married way out of his league.
Yeah let's round the troops, because he won't get out of this alone when he didn't even realize his fuck up on his own 🫣
This was all exhausting. Nausea and fatigue waged war in his body as Bradley stumbled to his feet once again.
Not to be petty, but I'm glad he gets a taste of his own medicine with BG and her pregnancy symptoms 🤷🏻♀️
The hairs on the back of his neck stood on end, fingers wrapping around the bottle so aggressively, he was afraid it would explode in his hand. He'd been told to keep his distance for now, but clearly Indigo was none the wiser as she followed him right inside his office.
This bitch 😤
Indigo froze before bursting into delighted laughter that set his teeth on edge. "Ruin your life? I can assure you, Sir, I would like nothing more than to have a very good time with you." Any warmth remaining in Bradley's body vanished, leaving him sweaty and shivering. "That's not appropriate," he gasped. "You're reporting to me through Top Gun, and I'm married."
STAND 👏🏻 YOUR 👏🏻GROUND👏🏻ROOSTER👏🏻
She rolled her eyes and muttered, "This was a lot easier last time." "You've done this before?" Bradley asked, eyes darting to the door and empty hallway beyond, wishing he'd just gone to your office instead.
No fucking way!! But I mean with her behavior this should not surprise me 🤦🏻♀️🥴
"I like older men," Indigo replied sweetly. "Ones with lots of pins on their uniforms. And they've always been agreeable before."
Dont get me wrong, I think this is absolutely vile behavior, especially directly to BG, but she is just using the rules that always held women especially in male dominated field back and plays it with her own rules, so I kinda get it were she's coming from.. it's like the "women in male field" trend in a way, in a very morally fucked up way 😅🙈
"Are you out of your mind?" Bradley's voice shook, but it was loud enough that she froze again. "You think I would jeopardize my marriage for you? My family? The thought never crossed my mind!" Indigo licked her lips. "I've seen your wife. She's pregnant again. And she's -" "She's perfect," Bradley barked, eyes blazing as he glanced at the wedding photo. "Do not talk about her. Ever." He squeezed his eyes closed and squared his shoulders before glaring at Indigo. "Get the fuck out of my office."
Halleluja 👏🏻🙏🏻
Why were you in his office? You were crying, working your hands in front of your pregnant belly as you whispered, "I'm sorry, Bradley!"
Omg this is perfect!
When he held his arms open, you rushed into them, burying your face in his chest as you wailed. He had no idea why you were in his office, but if the end result was getting to hold you tight, he didn't need a reason. As soon as you touched him, he immediately felt better.
🥹🥹🥹
"No. It's not okay," came your immediate, muffled response, arms tightening around him. "I made you sleep outside. I told you I'd leave with the girls." You looked up at him, tears brimming from your eyes. "I'm sorry I didn't believe you." Bradley shook his head, bringing his hand up to rest on your cheek. "I'm sorry I put you through this shit. This is so fucked up."
Ahh finally, I feel like I can breathe again😅
Bradley kissed your quivering lips as you started to calm down. "Please never leave me. I'm not going to stop being in love with you. Okay? I just want my girls." With one more kiss, he whispered, "And there's nothing wrong with the way you look. You're perfect." The smallest smile found your lips. "That's what you told Indigo."
Yes he did 👏🏻😌
"I hate her." "Me, too," he sighed, exhausted from thinking about Indigo.
Me, three
He let his breathing match yours, falling into a comfortable rhythm that he didn't want to let go of yet. "I have an idea. Let's go home." "Home?" "Yeah. Let's go get Rose from the nursery and ditch the rest of the day. I just want to go home." Now you were the one running your hand along his scarred cheek. "You must be exhausted." When he nodded, you said, "Okay. Let's go home, and I'll take care of you." When you tried to pull away, Bradley kept you close. "No. I'm going to take care of you. I clearly haven't been doing enough of that since I started this position. So that's going to change immediately." "We can take care of each other," you replied easily, but you were smiling.
🥰🥰🥰
You laced your fingers with his and started to tug him toward the door. "To get the ball rolling on Indigo's spectacular downfall." "What?" Bradley's eyebrows shot up. "I just inadvertently managed to clear my name, and you already formulated a plan?" You waved your free hand in the air. "It's like half a plan at best, but it's coming together."
Iconic 👏🏻 😂
Bradley made sure the door locked behind him. "I am in awe of you," he murmured, letting you lead him down the hallway. "Nobody messes with my husband."
And BG takes that promise seriously ☝🏻
You smiled to yourself. "I want to start doing it sooner." "Sooner?" she asked, confused. "How much sooner?" "Tomorrow."
Aim for the Sky Part 35 | Rooster x Reader
Summary: You're conflicted by your own words, unsure if you can stay away from your husband. There's only one person who can tell you the truth about Bradley, but she's the same one who seems to be on a quest to ruin your life.
Warnings: Angst, adult language, body image, DILF Roo, pregnancy, jealousy, mentions of cheating
Length: 3000 words
Pairing: Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x Female Reader
Aim for the Sky masterlist. This was written to accompany my series Is It Working For You? along with a bunch of my one-shots and other series, but it can be read on its own! Check my masterlist for the reading order.
Tramp whimpered at your feet. The muffled sound of the Bronco's door closing sent you to the front window to look out onto the driveway. It was dark, but you could see Bradley's tear-streaked face lit up by the dome light as you choked on a sob. It took everything you had to stand there instead of running to him.
He was gripping the steering wheel of the blue Bronco, and you waited silently for the engine to start. But it didn't. He barely moved. And you barely moved. But you couldn't step away from the window even as the light inside the Bronco faded into the night. Everything was silent. Your pounding heartbeat was all you could hear as the baby squirmed around in your belly like she knew her father was too far away from her now. Minutes passed, and you sank down onto the couch, but Bradley never started the engine.
You wanted him to come back inside, but you just told him you wouldn't hesitate to take the kids and move back to Maryland with your parents. "What did you do?" you gasped as fresh tears filled your eyes. You couldn't tell if you were being strong or stupid or some combination of the two, but the longer you stared out the window, the more you realized Bradley wasn't leaving you even though you told him to.
Relief washed over you knowing he wasn't running off to Indigo. Maybe there was a way to salvage things. You couldn't take back what you said, and he couldn't take back anything he'd already done with her, but you didn't think you could stop loving him. You didn't think you could separate him from his daughters.
Your emotions were a mess as you eventually left the couch to get ready for bed. After you checked on Rose, finding her sound asleep in her crib without a care in the world, you peeked outside one more time. Bradley was still in the driveway, watching over the Craftsman and everything inside.
You took your broken heart to bed, trying your best to fall asleep through your tears.
-------------------------------
It was cold outside this late in October, but Bradley sucked it up. He was certain you knew he was still sitting in the driveway, and he didn't want to start the engine at three in the morning and startle you. Or make you think he was leaving. He wasn't going anywhere. So he let the cold surround him.
Maybe you didn't want him in the house with you and Rose at the moment, but it was his responsibility to protect his family. And he wanted to be as close as you'd let him. Between small spurts of sleep, his mind drifted to the idea of you and Rose packing up everything in the house and moving across the country to live with your parents. It left him on the verge of panic each time. He bought the house for you. He had a family because of you. He was living beyond his wildest dreams married to you.
There was no way to convince you he wasn't lying. There was nothing he could say at this point that wouldn't sound like he was trying to cover his own ass. You could talk to Mav or Nat or Jake until they were blue in the face, but if you didn't trust him, it would sound like everyone was covering for him. Because truthfully, only he and Lieutenant Jeffries knew for sure that Bradley had never touched her.
Everything with the Navy took time. Mav was a big help, but a report would need to be written up for formal action. And now Bradley would need to notify someone about the new message Indigo sent with the world's worst timing, but meanwhile he was supposed to carry on like everything was completely normal.
As soon as daylight broke, he rubbed his exhaustion away from his eyes. He wanted to get to base to shower and change into the clean flight suit he kept in his locker, but he had to make sure you knew he spent the whole night in the Bronco first. So Bradley waited until he saw movement inside. Just a quick flick of the living room curtain, but he was sure you saw him. Nevertheless, he sent a text.
I'm leaving for work. If you want to talk, come find me, and I'll clear my schedule. We'll figure this out. We have to, because I can't live without you. I love you.
He didn't expect you to respond right away. He stretched, his body positively aching from sitting in one spot for so long before he started the engine. His stomach growled as he drove, reminding him he didn't get to enjoy what you cooked for dinner last night. He'd been missing dinner too often. It was almost Halloween, and the two of you should have been planning a costume for Rose to wear. He should have been working on an anniversary getaway for November. He'd been fucking up a lot for someone who wasn't aware he was doing it, but he certainly wasn't an adulterer.
The locker room was empty as he changed out of his wrinkly uniform and slipped under the hot shower stream. Nothing was going to make him feel better if you didn't trust him. Once again, he thought about you throwing all your fancy kitchen gadgets in a box and leaving without a backward glance in his direction. Bradley's hands shook, and he didn't know how he'd make it through the day at this rate.
As he pulled on his flight suit, he thought about going up to your office to wait for you to arrive. But he'd end up on his knees again, begging you to stay with him, and that wasn't what you needed to hear right now. He was exhausted, but he tried to clear his mind and think of some way to convince you he would never do anything to hurt you. But if Indigo already made comments directly to you, it felt like all hope was lost.
The walk to his office was long, but not long enough for inspiration to strike. Maybe Nat could give him some advice. She'd been harping on about girl code the other day. As much as he hated to admit it, Jake might be a helpful ally right now. He was a big fan of yours, and always quick to remind Bradley he'd married way out of his league.
He settled in behind his desk, unable to look away from the wedding photo for a few minutes. You looked perfect that day. You were perfect every day. There was no doubt you'd be perfect without him, but he didn't want you going anywhere unless you took him, too.
"Fuck," Bradley gasped, lungs burning with the effort to hold back his tears. His students would be sitting down to take a practicum exam shortly. He didn't necessarily need to be there, but it would look good if he was. But he'd also have to face Indigo in the classroom. Maverick was still up in Lemoore, and he was the only one who knew Bradley filed a formal complaint.
This was all exhausting. Nausea and fatigue waged war in his body as Bradley stumbled to his feet once again. He needed something to drink. Some cold water. He threw his office door open wide and walked back up the hallway to the small lounge where he grabbed a water bottle and downed it in one go. Panting, he took a second one before slowly heading back the way he came.
He didn't even feel better as he started sweating profusely. He wanted you. He wanted you to let him hold you. He wanted to kiss Rose.
His office door was just a few feet away when he heard her voice.
"Lieutenant Commander Bradshaw."
The hairs on the back of his neck stood on end, fingers wrapping around the bottle so aggressively, he was afraid it would explode in his hand. He'd been told to keep his distance for now, but clearly Indigo was none the wiser as she followed him right inside his office.
"Sir," she said, voice bold and unbothered. "I thought we could walk to the classroom together."
Bradley spun and looked at her. He really shouldn't be surprised at this point. He also shouldn't be talking to her alone in his office, but she was standing there expectantly, blinking those eyes up at him.
"Unless you're not ready to head over yet...."
Her words trailed off as she casually reached for the door, fingers grazing the wood.
"Do not close that door," Bradley barked, surprising himself with his angry tone. Indigo's hand dropped to her side, eyes wide, but she took a step closer as he backed up until he hit his desk. He managed to set the water bottle down, chest rising and falling rapidly. He shouldn't be talking to her, but he couldn't help himself as he shook his head. "What is your problem?"
She cocked her head slightly, a hesitant smile on her lips. "Sir?"
Bradley skirted along past his desk as she tracked him. "I don't understand why you're trying to ruin my life," he hissed.
Indigo froze before bursting into delighted laughter that set his teeth on edge. "Ruin your life? I can assure you, Sir, I would like nothing more than to have a very good time with you."
Any warmth remaining in Bradley's body vanished, leaving him sweaty and shivering. "That's not appropriate," he gasped. "You're reporting to me through Top Gun, and I'm married."
She rolled her eyes and muttered, "This was a lot easier last time."
"You've done this before?" Bradley asked, eyes darting to the door and empty hallway beyond, wishing he'd just gone to your office instead.
"I like older men," Indigo replied sweetly. "Ones with lots of pins on their uniforms. And they've always been agreeable before."
"Unbelievable," Bradley groaned, ready to throw away all of his insignia pins and run away. "Lieutenant Jeffries, I have never laid a finger on you. We've never been alone in here with the door closed, ever."
"But you wanted to. You can admit it," she whispered, reaching once more for the door.
"Are you out of your mind?" Bradley's voice shook, but it was loud enough that she froze again. "You think I would jeopardize my marriage for you? My family? The thought never crossed my mind!"
Indigo licked her lips. "I've seen your wife. She's pregnant again. And she's -"
"She's perfect," Bradley barked, eyes blazing as he glanced at the wedding photo. "Do not talk about her. Ever." He squeezed his eyes closed and squared his shoulders before glaring at Indigo. "Get the fuck out of my office."
He was afraid she wasn't going to listen, the way she stood there and stared at him in surprise. But Bradley had nothing left. His fingers were shaking, and he was sure he was going to vomit. She finally turned and marched from the room with her chin in the air, and Bradley turned to face his desk.
Panic like he never felt before filled his veins. He had no idea what he was supposed to do now as he gripped the edge of his desk and stared down at his boots. His body shook with silent sobs as he tried to catch his breath, but his brain couldn't seem to get past the fact that his life was in absolute ruins.
"Oh, God," he gasped, lifting his head in time to see his office door move a few inches. Before he could fully register what was happening, you popped out from behind it and carefully pushed it closed.
"Sweetheart?" he croaked, examining your tear-streaked cheeks before you stumbled closer to him.
Why were you in his office? You were crying, working your hands in front of your pregnant belly as you whispered, "I'm sorry, Bradley!"
When he held his arms open, you rushed into them, burying your face in his chest as you wailed. He had no idea why you were in his office, but if the end result was getting to hold you tight, he didn't need a reason. As soon as you touched him, he immediately felt better.
"I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry," you sobbed over and over, body shaking against him. "I was so scared, and I look so awful right now. And I'm just so sorry!"
"Shhh," he coaxed softly, kissing the top of your head before letting his chin rest there. "It's okay."
"No. It's not okay," came your immediate, muffled response, arms tightening around him. "I made you sleep outside. I told you I'd leave with the girls." You looked up at him, tears brimming from your eyes. "I'm sorry I didn't believe you."
Bradley shook his head, bringing his hand up to rest on your cheek. "I'm sorry I put you through this shit. This is so fucked up."
He let you cry, wiping your tears with his thumb as they fell for the longest time. He already felt like he could figure out a way to fix everything as long as you still wanted him.
Bradley kissed your quivering lips as you started to calm down. "Please never leave me. I'm not going to stop being in love with you. Okay? I just want my girls." With one more kiss, he whispered, "And there's nothing wrong with the way you look. You're perfect."
The smallest smile found your lips. "That's what you told Indigo."
"Baby Girl, that's what I tell everybody," he promised, relieved beyond belief that you witness that miserable exchange. "What are you doing here anyway?" he whispered, keeping you snug against him as you looked up at his face. "Not that I'm complaining, but I wasn't expecting you to want to see me."
"I came to talk to you as soon as I dropped Rose off." You wiped your tears on his flight suit as you added, "When I got here, the door was wide open, so I came inside. Then I heard her voice in the hallway. I panicked and hid behind the door."
"And I couldn't be happier that you did," he whispered.
"She really wanted to close the door."
"She really did."
"I hate her."
"Me, too," he sighed, exhausted from thinking about Indigo. He let his breathing match yours, falling into a comfortable rhythm that he didn't want to let go of yet. "I have an idea. Let's go home."
"Home?"
"Yeah. Let's go get Rose from the nursery and ditch the rest of the day. I just want to go home."
Now you were the one running your hand along his scarred cheek. "You must be exhausted." When he nodded, you said, "Okay. Let's go home, and I'll take care of you."
When you tried to pull away, Bradley kept you close. "No. I'm going to take care of you. I clearly haven't been doing enough of that since I started this position. So that's going to change immediately."
"We can take care of each other," you replied easily, but you were smiling. "I just need to talk to Cat first."
Bradley groaned softly. He was already imagining the three of you at home. He would make lunch while you fed Rose, and then everyone could take a long nap. He just wanted everything to feel normal again.
"Why do you need Cat first?"
You laced your fingers with his and started to tug him toward the door. "To get the ball rolling on Indigo's spectacular downfall."
"What?" Bradley's eyebrows shot up. "I just inadvertently managed to clear my name, and you already formulated a plan?"
You waved your free hand in the air. "It's like half a plan at best, but it's coming together." You paused. "You know what? I'll just call Cat when we get home. I'm sure we can handle it from there. I really want to snuggle with you, and I'm starving."
Bradley made sure the door locked behind him. "I am in awe of you," he murmured, letting you lead him down the hallway.
"Nobody messes with my husband."
--------------------------------
You felt alive again for the first time in weeks. You were thriving. Bradley never let you out of his sight as he made lunch and burped Rose. He put her down in her crib, wrapped you in his arms, and led you toward the promise of an afternoon nap.
"Wait, Cat's calling me back," you whispered, watching his face fall as he tried to get you to the bedroom. "It'll just take a minute."
"I can barely keep my eyes open," he murmured, kissing your cheek before you backed away. "Just come in when you're done."
You watched him turn to the bedroom, pulling his undershirt over his head as he went. The temptation of his warm body wrapped around yours was almost too much to fight, but when you thought about Indigo, you wanted to punch a hole in the wall. Or her face.
"Hi."
"Where are you?" Cat asked. "I thought I saw you in the parking lot this morning, and now you're magically nowhere to be found."
"I'm at home," you told her quickly. "Hey, how close are you to finishing the new code for the Super Hornet updates?"
There was a beat of silence. "Not that close. We aren't rolling out the updates until the end of the year. It'll ground some of the pilots."
You smiled to yourself. "I want to start doing it sooner."
"Sooner?" she asked, confused. "How much sooner?"
"Tomorrow."
---------------------------------
Hearing that straight from Indigo had to make BG feel so much better! Is this me being nicer? Beginning to mend things? Stay tuned.
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hi, im realising a slight obsession with vampires again anyway
does the town have any kind of wrong information? Because with all the warnings, theres probably something that got exaggerated or is believed just to be cautious like the poisonous bite? Cause based on how you formulated it, it seems thats something that might not be true 👀
also for the bitten vampire that comes across a lone Dream i have different ideas with different paths:
a) Bad or Techno who find Dream and want to genuinely take care of this fledgling who seems abandoned (potentially also with them knowing Dream as a human and recognising him, and that also fuelling a bit of possessivness)
b) Team Mafia because yes. them being a group of vampires that had to move around as something happened to their old place. they find Dream and note how he seems alone and figure it's best if he has someone around him
c) Sam wants to ensure Dream can't accidently or intentionally harm anyone (but tbh, just wanting to have him and care for him because they knew each other. and sam has been a vampire for longer. and maybe also had a crush on Dream when they were kids. and still has said crush)
but also the idea of it being someone with no good intentions at all and sap and george having to rescue Dream from him and then potentially one of the others coming by and helping (potentially because that vampire has been noticeable to other vampires before in a bad way)
You know what's wild and crazy. I was in the middle of writing up something about the bitten vampire who found dream when I got this ask lmao
But first! What's myth and legends and what's truth. (I love world building here lmao so buckle up)
Now. A lot of what I'm describing about vampires does come from the vampire video, which! Is all about vampire myth and legends, folklore. It's all fake yea? And it has so many fascinating things I never even thought about being vampire related. And there really was a point where I wanted it All to be truth in this AU. All this folklore ends up being the reality of this world. But that's not, like, feasible. However!!
Because there's plenty of vampire stuff that is from modern times that is nowhere related to folklore ya know? Like Sires and fledglings and covens and all that jazz. Which I like to think is Vampire Knowledge. How they know a Sire's blood is what helps a new fledgling fully develop their vampiric traits. The basically telepathic connection vampires have with their covers and fledglings. How vampires know a fledgling will subconsciously have their Sire crave to take care of them. Along with different bits and pieces that'll surely come up later. But basically how a vampiric society actually functions is not really a known thing in the human world.
Human Knowledge would be the folklore stuff. Which is all very...iffy. A lot of it sounds, weird and strange, how could anyone have thought this and this event were the cause of vampires, so on and so forth. Like how the plague(kinda) or natural disasters(not) were the works of a vampire. How they thought maybe rats were a cause for vampirism too(not).
Now the thing about our folklore is that humans never really see...a walking moving vampire ya know?(cause they aren't real) and it's always about exhuming corpses and finding blood at the ends of their mouths, which means vampire!(along with other various weird corpse decaying things that were blamed on vampirism) which makes it really funny picking and choosing what's real and what isn't because if these people are basing their research on exhumed corpses too, there are bound to be a whole lot of misconceptions. (But that's mostly to... describe the appearance of vampires lol)
So it's up in the air for me how humans discover a lot of these things but I do wanna say Most of their knowledge about vampires are based on unbitten vampires.
As I mentioned before, Sapnap and George's town preserve a lot of the "folklore" of vampires in this world, unbitten folklore really(though they dont really know the difference all too well). Since you know, those are typically the ones that randomly appear in human settlements.
And it's like....why does that happen then? How come unbittens occur? And I do want to say Vampirism in itself is just a curse on the world and I wanna say its a troubled unsatisfied human soul that gets turned into a vampire if it dies suddenly, still wanting more in the world. I guess it's a curse and a blessing? Getting a second chance for unfinished buisness.
And this...curse, well it does have a time limit. Or well. It /did/. Unbittens were the first kind of vampires, perhaps a blessing by whatever higher power, something that would allow humans to be given a little extra time after death to finish everything they thought they needed to do in life, being a sort of immortal beast, unable to be sick or easily killable so they have the best possible chance of completing their task. Before a kind of madness takes over and kills an unbitten through the sheer mental torture (oops this blessing not having a good way out, silly higher power)
And what ends up happening is humans forming all these "warnings" about how a vampire comes to be. It always seems to be people who were "bad" in/at life that seem to return as the undead. So a lot of the tales were shaped around that, such as being a "troublemaker" or being a highway man/crominal, dying alone and unloved, or perhaps a disease taking you too soon, ...suicide. A lot of the true ways unbittens happen is knowing if the human had a very sorrowful life/end....A lot of people who were wronged in this world are the kind of people to turn (unfortunately?). Though being "wronged" is very....debatable to the curse. Someone who's extremely greedy suddenly dying and unfulfilled because they continue to want to be greedy wouldn't trigger the curse. But say...a known and hated thief suddenly dying...well if said thief died feeling unfilled because they still have two people they need to look after and care for, to at least say goodbye to them, to say they love them one last time....well the curse would "bless" them with that chance.
There's also toss up reasons like....someone who is perceived a bad person because they outwardly act cruel but are just craving validation or something of that sort, suddenly dying, unfulfilled in life, then turning, just wanting to maybe make things right, or to enjoy just a little longer as their true selves and not this person they created themselves to be..
But like...no one wants to die. And in ye olden days, when unbittens were common enough that people knew there's a chance at becoming one. People mostly knowing that unbittens weren't really monsters back then, they were just people who wanted one more thing in life, as a goodbye, before they're in peace. Maybe they used to be well received back then. Maybe people helped them die again to prevent the mental anguish...
But if you kinda know youre going to become an undead, and know the little extra time you're blessed with afterwards isn't enough....Running away once you wake up again not wanting the people in your community to /kill/ you before you go mad(even if its for your own good, to die in peace this time). Surely there's a way to keep living. Surely there's a way for more /time/.
And when too much time has passed. Too much to still be standing but still persevering, the madness almost too much. Noticing a random traveler. Being so so /hungry/.
Then your mind becoming so clear. Like something that was tearing apart your very soul just disappearing. But noticing all the /blood/ everywhere. Especially in your mouth.
I wanna say bitten vampires came to be from unbitten who needed more time, who found the loophole to the curse. Blood containing the life they need to continue on. And if they kept drinking, their mind will always be at peace. Never again suffering and becoming basically immortal. An unbitten finding a victim but not killing them, realizing it just created another vampire. Maybe because it was a sudden death? Not knowing how to handle this newly turned vampire and leaving it.
This happening too often and people getting killed by rouge undead, rouge vampires. Killing people and animals to quell the insanity thats gripping their mind. Legends and myths changing, vampires being an evil Monster because of this...
Yet....when an unbitten turns someone, and cherishes and nurtures them(maybe someone they loved, someone they were able to restrain themselves from killing). Not having enough blood to feed their new companion, knowing that madness will take them if they can't get blood. So they make the sacrifice of giving their own. In hopes they live. And a bitten fledgling is born.
Blood from a vampire having a unique effect, it's blood of a curse(blood of a blessing).
And time will go on and on, stories changing, history lost and learned, and societies developing. Until we get to our boys :)
So to answer the question, yea. The town does have a lot of wrong things. Thinking the saliva of a vampire is what turns someone is correct in a sense, because being bitten has turned people (to go off the video, it said people would get super sick for 3 days, die, and become a vampire). But that food that was bitten by a vampire, say cattle, consuming the meat would also turn you into a vampire. Which is...kinda true...a half truth. If the slab of meat you got still had the lingering essence of a vampire, yea unfortunately ya gonna get the vampire plague :/ (which I wanna say bitten vampires still don't fully understand how it happens either. They just know an unbitten biting a human and not killing them will make them sick and die eventually :/...vampire rabies....and most likely become a vampire. I do wanna say there's a failure rate but...that's for another time :)
It was just easier to head a warning like "the food bitten by a vampire will turn you" than a "OK well actually if you just kinda avoid those bits and just prepare everything really well and not eat it any sorts of raw, ya probably fine tbh...also dont share spit..."
I wanna say the way it actually happens is...yes it's basically transmitted through the saliva of a vampire but....the vampire needs to have this kind of desperate urge to live for it to work. Cause then the curse is kinda...most active in them ya know? The curse transfers through them to the victim in a way. Though. The curse has to be the one that kills them, not the vampire. At least.....That's how it works for the unbitten.
So unbitten vampires being desperate for blood because they want to live and get madness out of their head, yea the curse is pretty active!
But a Dream peacefully eating and content with George and Sapnap feeding him prey they found in the woods. Nothings gonna happen. George and Sapnap could very well skin the pelt and cook up the rabbit or whatever they caught after Dream is done with it. Instead of like...burning it to char :/
Other things that the town have wrong! (That George and Sapnap(and Dream) may or may not believe in)
- Vampires obsessed with untying knots(no, idk where they got that from)
- Vampires cause famine (if ya got some rouge running around and scaring away hunts and cattle making meat harder to get, ok yea, that's on them....they dont affect crops.)
- Eating dirt from a Vampire's grave (after supposedly being bitten) would cure you of vampirism (No, don't eat dirt)
- a Vampire will return to its grave if it was buried (No. Most unbitten do end up dying if they were buried. But if they manage to dig themselves out, they ain't going back in. This is based more on the exhumed bodies of alleged vampires)
- Vampires are a supernatural all powerful creature (no, kinda. Unbittens aren't, that's basically a human still)
- Certain hallucinogentic plants can cause vampirism (no that's just someone who's high that went coo-coo crazy)
- Being an alcoholic can cause vampirism (not really. Depends on the person's life and whether it triggers the curse)
- An unproper funeral would be a cause for vampirism (no. Religion has nothing to do with vampirism(unless the religious trauma caused a very unfilled life oops))
-All sorts of body decaying things indicating that a dead body is a vampire (swollen body, liquid/uncoagulated blood leaking from the mouth, eyes, or ears, new fingernails/fresh looking skin weeks after death, ect.) (That's just decomposition, not a vampire)
- Vampires have no bones anymore and are just full of blood (based on how very difficult it is to kill a bitten vampire and bone breaking weapons not seeming to break any bones??(it can just not easily) An unbitten would have very obvious bones broke though...)
- Vampires have a sharpen pointed tongue to cut flesh easier (kinda of mixed up in the whole unbitten creating bitten vampires and those bitten vampires being able to bite through skin easily for blood, since unbitten back then were known to not have sharpen teeth there was a lot of confusion happening tbh (their modern day knowing vampires have sharpen teeth now, they just think the tongue thing also is a feature they have lmao))
- Vampires are just mindless creatures set on just drinking blood (that's just cause humans mostly experience a rouge vampire desperate for blood attacking them. The original plot of undead needing extra time for unfinished buisness got super lost in the whole....vampires killing humans bit)
- Vampires barely speak and will mostly groan (no. This is again based on exhumed corpses lmao)
- Vampires are allergic to daylight. (No. It's just easier at night, freshly turned are just very sensitive to most things but it mellows once they get used to it)
- Vampires can survive purely on animal blood (kinda...? You'll just get a really weak and continuously hungry vampire, with just enough sense to not start attacking randomly)
- Vampires will not only drink blood but also eat and mangle livestock and humans (no....? A rouge vampire desperate for blood might get a bit too vicious with whatever they ended up catching...though most of these accounts were actually animal attacks...)
- Vampires turn into bats. (Vampires have nothing to do with bats.)
- Vampires are also werewolves(i.e. turn into wolves) (no...those are just wolf attacks)
There's probs a butt ton more I could come up with tbh Most of these basically coming from the video really haha. (I feel like how to Kill a Vampire is a whole separate case of what's truth and what isn't that can be for another time)
BUT YEA. Humans are....not the /best/ source of what is and isn't a vampire/vampire behavior.
George and Sapnap do slowly learn what is and isn't true the longer they're with Dream, though most things Dream can't really prove (do vampires go back to their grave? Probably, Dream just never got buried really so that doesn't count)
Unbittens don't really survive long enough for a bitten to find and basically.. find out more either. So unfortunately, humans have the best unbitten vampire knowledge lmao (they kinda just throw random bad occurrences as a vampire's fault and sees what sticks) Though again....humans aren't really aware there /is/ a difference between bitten and unbitten.
So George and Sapnap (and Dream) will be...very suprised by what a bitten vampire is capable of when meeting one :3c
WHICH. I considered that I should just copy/paste what I have onto here when I first read this ask. But. This has become a lot of world building and the bitten vampire bit I think is also gonna be pretty long and have more world building. And the two should probs be separated. So I think I'll post that separately TwT
Though I will say I did choose Techno to be the bitten :3
What is funny though, I couldn't really think of anyone else to be the bitten and then reading your ask I'm like oh wait those are good...LOL
I actually...haven't fleshed out...the different people I want in this AU funny enough. I've been so focused on world building that I forgot there's people.. outside of dteam LOL
And your mentions gives me. Ideas :3c
Like Techno can find Dream first, but that doesn't mean other bitten don't find him either!
It is...a baby in the middle of a forest tbh...with no sire in sight....
It also gave me the idea of bitten very easily blending in with human society if they wanted to tbf. (Unbitten technically can too, but...their instincts are very.....baby coded(impulsive) unfortunately....and that makes it difficult to properly assimilate...)
I can imagine Bad being the baker who always gave dteam any leftover baked treats at the end of the day. Unknowing to them that he's a vampire...
That after Dream turns, some of the goodies snf bring back smelling....weird...and it makes his instincts kinda freaked out a little but he doesn't know why...at least, not yet. (It does end up making him super clingy to the two, his brain telling him he has to get rid of the smell somehow!!)
(Bad eventually figuring out why Dream is not the one picking up the treats anymore when he can smell a very distinct fledgling scent on snf...oh muffins...)
Team Mafia does give me...nomadic coven kind of vibe maybe(very rare for vampires to travel for fun, almost unheard of a whole coven doing that!) Though I think it'd be really interesting of them being a side plot with Sapnap lmao (poor Sapnap coming across these idiots alone and terrified for his life being surround by a coven of vampires who think he'd be their perfect fledgling heh) (LOTS of ideas for this one lmao)
Sam, I want to say, is an inventor and is called out to bigger towns/cities for his inventions and expertise but his hometown is where dteam are. Always having a crush on the troublemaker orphan that's always stealing from his neighbors. Unfortunately, seems like he promised himself to two other people, his soulmates he calls them. And yea. It hurt a little...but he got over it (he swears!!) And if Sam is always...dropping little trinkets that he knows Dream will find and be able to pawn off for some gold, something so he can keep his belly full, well...
I do want to say on one of Sam's travels he does end up getting bit...and taken to a coven...where...yea they were taking care of him as a fledgling and he was learning the ins and outs of vampiric society, but its been a couple of years....and he didn't want to be there. He wanted to go home. And so he ran away(as much as his instinct begged and pleaded to stay with his sire....)
Maybe Bad finds him, able to sense a fledgling in the town and takes care of him :(!! Sam is still very much a baby vampire and happily is accepting Bad as a new Sire (maybe his old one was bad...)
Sam is a little baby fledgling that should be in a nest too! Should be in one for years and years and years and despite Bad's insistence, Sam wants to continue his life!! (Wants to see Dream again!!)
Unfortunate that right before he got back Dream had his accident :(
So when Sam comes across a baby fledgling Dream!!! Barely a few months old!!! Maybe the fates were bringing them together!! He can just take Dream and take care of him and be so good for him and!!!
(Dream stop struggling what the heck, let's go home, stop, you need blood in you I know someone who can help, Dream wait please >:(!!! JUST STAY STILL!!)
Very scared Dream wants his Sires to come rescue him :(
For no good intentions. I do think rouge/unbitten vampires are generally looked down upon in Vampire society. Only cause they're also known to be kind of mindless and blood hungry. The unbitten of olde are really just legends for vampire kind. Only by chance was an unbitten able to turn into a bitten pshh
Bittens are...scary good at assimilating...and sometimes bitten really have a bad hatred for rouge vampires (should be put down, a disgrace really) So...there /are/ vampires who are part of hunter groups...(these vampires are considered a kind of pure-ist? Very...radical thinking in the vampire world I think)
And be it maybe Q or Punz(maybe the hunter groups knows Punz is a vampire and they're just paying him handsomely to be a kind of tracker for rouges) or someone else part of these hunter groups and ends up finding Dream...curious enough to want to find out how this unbitten isn't the ravaging beast that he's expected to be...and maybe he can be used for more...nefarious things...(killing a bitten is hard, but their fangs sell really well on the black market....and having a crying stressed fledgling is a really good way of attracting bitten and making them vulnerable :)
But yea!
#ehm asks#ehm aus#ok someone choose...human sires au or unbitten au#theres like. a lot here. a lot that can be built off of.#my mind will be occupied with these guys for a while now :3
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Template here
First time I struggled thinking of what to add where...as I did love a lot of the pieces I did this year. There was even some months I drew many times which is *so* rare for me.
So I guess King Boo/ Mario series in general, cures my depression? Slightly? I dunno.
Thanks for all the support! Here and on my writing~.
#when your health is bad and you're not sure if you'll live another day#i guess this happens lol#also the year i redesigned my king boo gijinka#and i love him more than I thought I would#hope this keeps going for me personally#because i have too many ideas to not wanna work on#smb#year in review#geno#super mario rpg#paper mario#mario geno#king boo#nintendo#nintendo fanart#fanart#art#artwork#mario sunshine#sunshine king boo#rosalina#princess rosalina#myart#oreana draws
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needed proper sprites of these two for a little project and ended up having to make them myself, figured i might aswell post them lol
recreating axez's style hurt me badly.. i hate pillow shading but i had to do it because it fit better than my normal style.
heres a treat.. a redraw from like 2 weeks ago of one of my oldest pieces of mo4 fanart. i refuse to post the original version it was UGLY!
ive also been making blockbench models of my numa hcs, i might post those later.. gotta finish the mdcr members first though
#morikaze#jungle takahashi#mo4#marikinonline4#ive mostly been spending my time drawing cbcs with my friend because i got obsessed w the species it made. oops!#i love toys and playing#now that artfight is over im definitely going to draw the numas a lot more.. im excited ^_^ i have many ideas..#& i wanna start working on an old mo4 au again too.#these sprites are for an mo4 roleplay game me n my friends wre working on so i hope i get to work on that again soon too!! i want to work!!#*tears open shirt* I LOVE WORKING ON THINGS!!
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I realized that what I Really want rn is lighthearted domestic modern au
So im coming up with yet another au
t4t best friends & roommates vashwood who are both so in love with each other but both so dumb about it. Cue accidental toddler acquisition bc Vash's cousin (Domina)(sorry Domina) died & they're looking for a relative to foster said toddler. And Chronica and Nai are certainly not the nurturing types (general idea rn of the twins still being adopted but keeping in touch with their cousins, tho Chronica and Domina are cousins too in this) SO they ask Vash and well. He is nothing if not a bleeding heart. So he ends up saying yes.
Cue Vash not rly knowing how to take care of a toddler, but it's ok Wolfwood is here. He's a Professional. & them parenting together is the push they need to actually sort out their feelings....
(Putting the rest of this under a cut lol)
Not fully decided yet, but I was thinking mid to late 20s wolfwood and early 30s vash. Vash was a computer scientist that got so tired of the soul-killing salary job that he quit his job. And now he's a local oddball, almost a local celebrity, bc he does dog walking and other odd jobs in a very ostentatious way (based off of my own local legend of a dog walker who is known and beloved for this). He's also largely in local entertainment. A hobbyist roboticist who makes his own rigs, both for the over-the-top dog stroller he uses for small dogs that don't want to walk (something I saw from my own local legend dog walker) & also for any sort of festivals or w/e he's hired for. And if he needs the extra money, he takes on freelance programming work online, but overall he's just trying to have FUN.
And then there's Wolfwood, working some low wage job just trying to make his way through part-time school. Some sort of kids-focused career. Undecided still. But he's much shorter on money than Vash, aka why they started living together a few years back. Bc Wolfwood couldn't afford rent alone and Vash was more than happy to live with him. & tbh, Wolfwood is probably the reason Vash quit his corporate job in the first place. He Inspired him... to be true to himself!!!!
.......... I could make Wolfwood work at a bubble tea shop. Finally do a bubble tea shop au like I was wanting to ages ago to vent my woes. He's fucking miserable there. Vash really likes the free drinks Wolfwood takes home, though.
Hfkshfmsbfms honestly I'm tossing a lot of things into this au idea, but I just really want something lighthearted and domestic. And also put a kid in there bc I still really love vashwood dads.
#speculation nation#honestly i know the 'roommates vw foster kids together' idea has been done before. so im trying to make this into its own thing#i just dont wanna wait and write the leadup to Feelings. i want them to already Have feelings. which is a lot of why my other aus havent#been appealing to me right now.#so. local oddball quasi-celebrity vash and Eternally Suffering bubble tea shop worker & college student wolfwood#(very autobiographical of me there lmfao)#end up accidentally becoming dads because vash just Couldnt say no to that little face.#i'll have to look up what fostering process is actually like. but i do know theyd look to relatives first.#so if vash proves he can take care of her (he Does have a decent amount of money) theyd probably shove her off to him#bc there are way too many kids in the foster care system anyways... better to give her to someone like him#even if he is a bit Strange with his career. he makes it work tho#ok. tag for this. im not gonna lose it.#oddball au shit#officially dubbing it oddball au until i come up with an actual name#god i need to actually write down all my au ideas. i have so many. why am i like this
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i legit love when a character's gender is so integral to their personality (and perception obviously.) like so concrete that if genderbent their whole shtick would just be absolute dookie. anyways i'm just writing this text so i can talk in the tags (My beautiful safe haven)
youtube
this 14 minute song is soooooooooooo FYRE
#text#actually i'm thinkinbg about this only cus i'm drawing female neloff and i'm just like#Elder dookies fans already hate females..... imagine them tryign to handle a woman with NPD that is reaching toxic waste levels#old decaying female with NPD.#but i'm also drawing female neloff for fun cus i have an idea for a look; i don't think it's a good idea#and he is just one of those characters that feel very good in the strict cismale box.#i also feel silly talking about gender-anything in any fiction because that's a topic only Am*ricans with no real problems sweat about#if that makes sense#just not something that interests me in the slightest#actually this might jsut be fascinating 2me because it is interesting indeed to see the different ways narcissism is treated. in characters#if i keep saying females instead of women it's bc i legit love that word. Sorry#and el*nwen+ulfr*c too are those female+male respectively perfectly fitting characters too#but notice how i didn't say cis. exactly. i'm thinking about the person that said elly did his top surgery in the torture basement. 4 free#or maybe i said that and they jsut said they're both t4t. Mmmaybe#the absolute W we copped with elly being the ' ' Big Bad ' ' th*lmor as a woman who is just obsessed with the luxuries of life.#stereotypical high society woman#she's so cute#i might just be obsessed with exploring very traditional dynamics too. i love keeping it grounded yk#Me after reading too many geriatric centuries old novels and huffing copium on sk*rim#i think i legit hate having fun with wilder character personality-morphism (because it is useless) that's not working with what u have#i'm just saying things that will make sense only 2 me now. Bye#why did i develop interest-related nihilism that extends to me hating fantasy franchises and anything that isn't non-fiction#i love it tho makes me feel so sophisticated#this is what happens when nobody humbles you while you draw regurgitated glorified studentXteacher (with a medieval twist) for a year.#i'm so excited for the year to be over not bc it's bad for me but bc i wanna see what all of the n*lvas art i drew looks like together#i wanna compile it like i did with eltl in 2023#n*lvas been treating me so well though liek i've been at such an artistic Peak especially after may#i'm always at my artistic peak tho.#i have a picture of n*relion on my mspaint canvas and it keeps looking at me while i'm drawing . he scares me because who gave him -#- the t*lvas hairstyle and the n*loth beard Bro.
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how many times do we need to learn as people that irony and hyperbole can be harmful because 'jokes' aren't easily distinguished from genuine thoughts and feelings until we stop rewarding people for speaking or posting about violence
like even if you're joking/don't actually believe that/think whoever you are insulting is bad/immoral/fictional therefore deserves it - ad hominem attacks always do more harm to the people who share those characteristic then the individual you intend to cause harm to or discredit
#discourse#long post#its genuinely erased so much of my enjoyment of 911blr knowing i have to check accounts or risk seeing bullying/hate#l like its an odd feeling to know that so many people in the same fandom as you actively hold hate or find hate funny against your communit#like tired of people saying others are too sensitive because we dont want to hear or see a person say they want to hurt themself or others#like sorry i put in the work everyday to not let my mental health backslide and to enjoying being alive and accept my queerness#while others seemingly have not#and i know the content i post/share is not all in the same circles as that certain blog and i hate that it still grinds my gears but#its so frustrating to see the cruel glee people have#saying things they would never say to anyone's face irl and only to other blindly devoted/similar bullies#like do these people realise that they are on a razor's edge between 'ironic jokes' and just outright bigotry and threats - like do they#literally the only thing seperating That and conservative bigots is that the bigots are honest about their hatred towards minorities#like a lot of people in the fandom seemingly still need to deal with a lot of intenalised homophobia/racism and just outright hate-#especially regarding queer men and men of colour#because i can not be emphasise enough#It is NOT GOOD OR HEALTHY to be a fully grown adult that actively derives joy from the idea of enacting hate crimes#like you can hate tommy you can want him off the show even want him to die like weird but go off#but its such a next step to unprompted talk about [a character i dislike/hate/dont ship/disrupts my fanon endgame] in derogatory ways -#with rhetoric that straight up is out of terf/rel. right/homophobic/racists bigots and evokes violent hate-crimes......#well i feel sorry for those people cause what a miserable life to spend so much of it unable to enjoy your own life that you target others#anyways I know this is too long but I'm just a very tired man who has studied history and education and working with kids i have seen it -#too many times- harmful words coming from harmful environments or creating harmful actions and thereby perpetuating the cycle of violence#also not super relavent but as Latino Australian i am genuinely appauled at how many people have in their bio they are also Australian-#while actively liking/reblogging and engaging with post that find homophobic violence a funny haha joke - as if activist in our country -#aren't actively trying to dismantle homophobic and transphobic laws regarding issues like conversion therapy#like I know professors that actively got fired for being gay while teaching in religious education context - and its still happening!#so for people to forget so quickly what progress has been made and how much it took and how easy it is to loose - disappointing#(and its the same people who wanna pretend mardi gras is nothing but a party as if 78rs didn't risk their jobs/safety/lives)
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rewatching bbc merlin really has me like buzzing in my mind with so many thoughts. Like I'm kinda watching it backwards atm going from S5 to S4, I think I will jump around 3, 2, and 1 but just,,,, there is so much especially in S5 that makes me !!!!!!!
Honestly, I feel like this fandom has to give the writers more credit. Like they did a damn good job, and to me, it's such a good tragedy. Especially how S5 plays out, it takes everything and just tears you down, and down, and down. It's perfect, perfect with flaws! But still perfect
#bbc merlin#merlin#yeah idk on that note about the writers - this fandom is way too harsh#like i know we all have ideas on how it should have gone#but i think we lose how it's still a story that they planned from the start to end like that#they did their job they set up from the beginning and it is good as a tragedy imo as someone who has studied tragedies#hot take but the characterisations are consistent - i mean like as consistent as they get for a 5 series show#they did better than most and i dont feel like any characters get like their previous characterisation assassinated#that includes Arthur and Morgana btw they clearly have arcs that work well and where Arthur's is a slower progression - Morgana's is like a#lit match - slow at first but when it gets going it's going and then gone - it's wonderful#i mean look at s5 it literally starts by talking about Arthur's bane aka his fatal flaw aka his hamartia#which is himself and i dont think it's as much as the overdone hubris but rather Arthur's love and trust for others - but that like in many#tragedies can be debated#okay something else that can be debated is the peripeteia - i think a good example of it is the Disir episode because that's when Arthur's#fate becomes sealed anything after that point is fruitless because the Triple Goddess has decided he must die because of his rejection of#the Old Religion - it's a reversal of fortune in a sense that Mordred is alive to play his part in Arthur's death - as Merlin puts it. You#could see it more as Merlin's peripeteia rather than Arthur's but still#if we wanna debate it more Arthur's peripeteia would probablyyyy be when Mordred stabs him because that's when his death becomes imminent#it's a reversal of fortune because he's dying from that point forward rather than a strong king he is a man dying#the anagnorisis is another point to make. You could say for Arthur his anagnorisis is all of the finale - like this constant realisation of#Merlin and his magic and realising all that he missed all that he didnt see and now it's too late because he's dying#I'd say Merlin's anagnorisis comes with the whole Mordred and Kara ordeal and how he realises his mistake and how it's gonna cause the#downfall of not just himself but Arthur too#then catharsis - see i think it's the only part where the tragedy falters because do we get catharsis from Arthur's death and Merlin's#immortality - where he's still at the lake centuries later?#i think in some ways yes and in other ways no because I don't think BBC Merlin is following an Aristotle's tragedy#i think catharsis comes more from Morgana's half of the tragedy - seeing her die - and i think further catharsis comes from knowing it's no#over forever that there will be a second chance for redemption for both Merlin and Arthur#but it is a more difficult one for sure#anyway point is that S5 specifically has a tragedy storyline that is very well done and we should credit that more tbh
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WHYYY did my mother have kids with my father if she can barely stand his ass (i can't stand him much either) and whenever she's insulting and berating us she finds a way to compare us to him in a negative way. I mean I get that at first he was nice and whatever but MAYBE she should have thought about it more before having me considering she had only known my father for a few months (like. not even a year and she's like "i wanna have a baby!!!")
#corin's lore#There are a lot of additional details about my parents' relationship that make me even more upset#But I don't wanna give out too much stuff on my public blog. Anyway they have one of the most dysfunctional relationships I know!!!!#I'm just pissed off bcs they make my life so complicated. Like maybe sometimes having a baby after knowing eachoter for not much time works#But it didnt work for them. Do they love me(and my sis)? Sadly yeah. More like they love the idea of us they have in their head.#I'm also pissed off because they both have obvious mental health issues like my mom has anger issues issues#Literally went to a therapist like once for it and some other stuff. And she says that it's just the way she is and we should accept her#And she also. Fucking had me in her early 30s and still says that she was young and immature and didnt know better#Whenever I complain about sth she did or does. Like she had a pretty traumatic life and childhood but she should have seeked help!!!#I was obviously not the solution. Having another child with my fucntionally alcoholic father (my sister) after that was also not good!!!!#My life is a tragicomedy where I don't know whether to laugh or cry!!!!!#I wanna say i'm sorry for talking about my stupud life but whatever this is my blog and I was venting about my personal life on here#Long before many of you followed me but like sorry for having to read about my trainwreck of a life and family!!!!
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HALLEJUAH!! I REMEMBERED HOW TO ACTUALLY FINISH WRITING SOMETHING FOR A CHANGE!!
Of course, it's not any of the fics I wanted to finish. I went back to what is essentially my bread-and-butter now and wrote a short-ish, random OrangeHook fluff. But considering how much writing's been a struggle as of late, I'm just glad that I successfully finished something. I was back in one of those stretches where I couldn't seem to write much of anything. And this fic isn't about their age difference or Hook being a cuddlebug, so...progress?
Unless I decide I completely hate it (which is always a possibility) expect something to drop on Valentine's Day, tis the season, after all.
#What is wrong with you Sam you should not be allowed to write#Small victories you know?#Will I ever get sick of OrangeHook?? Apparently not#Can't even remember the last time they interacted on screen but that ain't stopping my brain LOL#On a more serious note - I really do hope that I can get back into the swing of things and make some real progress#On the bigger fics I want to work on#I want to finish the messy angst OrangeHook fic at some point even if it's unlikely to appeal to anyone#Annnnnd deep down in my cold dead heart I still wanna make an honest attempt at that DG Dead Dove fic#Even though that would be even more unappealing + a huge undertaking because that bitch would be loooooooooong#Also I had a slightly less angsty OrangeHook idea recently about them having their first fight and I wanna write that too for some reason#And there's still a part of me that really wants to continue Business/Pleasure because I have soooo many ideas for that AU#But that would require me to get over my inability to write smut#And I don't know how to do that (would appreciate any advice on that if you've got some...)#But at the same time I don't wanna beat myself up for not being able to write much - if anything - most days#This is a hobby after all - it's supposed to be fun#There ain't no deadline and it's not like I'm letting anybody down#Just gotta do at my own place#And write whatever absolute trash I want to write 😈#My tags are always so obsessive like SHUT THE FUCK UP SAM#But if you've actually read all these - hey. Thanks. Love ya 😘
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GAAHAHHHHH
#venting in the tags#maybe its just past darkness and the Bad Thoughts which i shouldnt listen to are clouding my brain too much#but i feel so fucking weird and inadequate over everything rn#im unable to work on drawings as i usually would have and its kinda plaguing everything which it should like yeah i love drawing but#i cant let just one aspect of me ruin everything. right? the fact that i havent been able to draw as well as i usually can should make me#feel sick to the stomach and unsure about everything i do but it happening and i hate it.#plus i got the ipad id saved up from the comms to buy and its fun and nice and all and maybe i just need more practice with it but i feel#like im not able to draw on it even more? and i spent the whole day trying to get used to it but its just not as good?? and then when i went#back to the no screen wacom i couldnt get a hang of it becuase idek its just not happening#and also the fucking art block wants me dead i swear i want to draw so bad and i have so many ideas but the moment i start anything its just#crumbles down into nothingness and i hate everything i do and gods fuck i want to cry but i can because there are people at home and#usually im a big 'crybaby' when im at home but i dont fucjing wanna be like that anymore like i can handly my shit myself im fine.#i dont need to just fuckinf cry abiut it becuase thats not gonna fox anything but also i feel like crying might just make me feel better#but then id have to hear shit from my family and i know theyre just teasing in a /pos way but i dont wanna fucking deal with that#plus my brother iust talking to him os annoying sometimes like he talks about things so condescendingly and fucking hel dude shut#the fuck up i dont need you telling me that my art is something people can 'just do' and the fact that i was able to get the ipad#'basically for free since i got that money from the little drawings i make' as if they dont fucking mean anything to you like#shut the fucking fuck up dude i worked hard on those and even though i dont like my own shit sometimes i still fucking work hard on those#fuck you you bitch#i think a lot of things are just piling up and i need to sleep#tomorrow will be a new dawn and a fresh start and maybe ill hate myself less#ps. note to anyone reading the tags#im fine i just needed to yell out and express my frustration a bit. some sleep will help surely.
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man i think the worst thing about anxiety is that it turns me into a hateful rage spirit that haunts my corpse
#im anxious so i get hypervigilent so i get overstimulated#so i have to bite my hand to keep myself from throwing my phone at the wall because i got too many notifications at once#and bc of TRAUMA phone notifications specifically can be an anxiety trigger for me#but like irritability is usually how i know ive gone TOO long without some kinda stress relief or without coping with my anxiety#anyway after feeling angry i got so upset at myself i almost cried (but couldn't bc i was at work) and instead spent 10 minutes#in the bathroom staring at my reflection#horrified bc i swear i didnt look human#i was a shell i looked at myself and had now idea who that was#absolutely warped like my world had a dolly zoom going on#dont wanna talk to anyone about it either#bc if they comfort me wrong ill explode#my mind loves building me labyrinths of pain and destitution#conspiracy lvl: text
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I wanted to make a cleaner summary of last week's classes and also review the classes I have this week since the material is already uploaded beforehand but I was feeling so horrible throughout the day that when I sat down I was just gonna look at the ones for tomorrow but I think I'm just gonna go to bed because I just gave my little numbers game a few tries and not even the joy of tribial elementary school-level math games is bringing my brain cells and/or full sentience back
#diary#accessing it through the CMD thing and not just running it from the IDE made me realize a few things about it though so I'll hav#I'll have to maybe jot them down somewhere when I'd normally just be rly excited and try to fix them straight away like I am truly fucked r#I do wanna make an eng version of it sometime soon so I can share it even tho it's literally the simplest little thing. it's fun if you're#an easily amused nerd that loves playing with numbers in a truly useless manner. if that makes sense#also very obviously text-only I am NOT torturing myself with any graphics of ANY kind rn#it closes immediatly as they do and also when it comes to having double/triple digit starting numbers it becomes a lot less fun I think tho#though I haven't used it much with those yet#I still wanna figure out a way of making it better when it comes to 2/3 digit starters. and my original idea included maybe keeping track#keeping track of how many steps you took even between different rounds but I made the simplest version for now. I also think making like a#''this was the least amount of steps possible!'' type thing would be very very cool but that is FAR too big brained for me rn#cause I can figure out how to do the record keeping thing but that last one is like. let's stop talking for a little while.................#oh but adding an actual interface sounds so fun even though I have very little clue on how to do that rn I could probably STOP typing becau#because I can feel my stupid ass self start getting excited about this which will make it so I start working on it instead of going to bed#NO. DOWN !!!!!!!!!!!!!! auhgh............ oh man I had a lame joke to make but I completely forgot what it was#I have coding class tomorrow in which I normally just do the exercises as fast as possible before playing around but the only Python editor#I could find installed on the school computers was Visual Studio Code and I have no clue how to use that shit like I don't need so many#so many buttons. probz. OKAY GOODNIGHT
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