#because harmful ignorance is their daily existence

[hazbinbabbling4ever]

So basically the authority is punishing the tiger because she wAsTeD his time (egocentric much, this lion), told the ass he can keep being an ass and do harm to other people with his ignorance, meanwhile the only being that tried to oppose the ass is punished into silence??? What a wonderful metaphor for the state of our world right now! I really hope this is a metaphor that only concerns actual trivial matters*, because if this is the approach to people spreading harmful misinformation, this is literally the worst approach authority can employ: ignore the only person pointing out the problem and silencing them, so the harmful belief (manosphere, anti wokeness etc.) spreads until it’s too late and now you have a society that was shaped by hatred and ignorance, and the only voices who tried to oppose it were silenced and ridiculed (blm, feminists, etc.).  

*and you know what? Even the matters that seem trivial at first can morph into an actual problem later. For ex., women arguing that they hate sexist jokes at work: telling them not to argue with their sexist collegue because it’s ‘debasing’ will just have the effect of emboldening the collegue and make the woman think twice before speaking up again. The result? From that trivial matter now, slowly, the whole work space becomes a safe haven for misogynists. 10 years ago anti feminism and manosphere seemed silly and everyone didn’t want to address it, now? Incel propaganda everywhere, women can’t keep their spaces online anymore, radicalized young men left and right on every social media. And now it’s too late.

When ignorance screams, intelligence moves on.

[kindnessoverperfection]

Please, if you can, take a moment to read and share this because I feel like I'm screaming underwater.

NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) stigma is rampant right now, and seems to be getting progressively worse. Everyone is using it as a buzzword in the worst ways possible, spreading misinformation and hatred against a real disorder.

I could go on a long time about how this happened, why it's factually incorrect (and what the disorder actually IS), why it's harmful, and the changes I'd like to see. But to keep this concise, I'll simply link to a few posts under the cut for further reading.

The point of this post is a plea. Please help stop the spread of stigma. Even in mental health communities, even around others with personality disorders, in neurodivergent "safe" spaces, other communities I thought people would be supportive in (e.g. trans support groups, progressive spaces in general), it keeps coming up. So I'm willing to bet that a lot of people on this site need to see this.

Because it's so hard to exist in this world.

My disorder already makes me feel as if I'm worthless and unlovable, like there's something inherently wrong and damaged about me. And it's so much harder to fight that and heal when my daily life consists of:

Laughing and spending time with my friends, doing my utmost best to connect and stay present and focused on them, trying to let my guards down and be real and believe I'm lovable- when suddenly they throw out the word "narcissist" to describe horrible people or someone they hate, or the conversation turns to how evil "people with narcissistic personality disorder" are. (Seriously, you don't know which of your friends might have NPD and feels like shit when you say those things & now knows that you'd hate them if you knew.)

Trying to look up "mental health positivity for people with npd", "mental health positivity cluster bs", only to find a) none of that, and b) more of the same old vile shit that makes me feel terrible about myself.

Having a hard time (which is constant at this point) and trying to look up resources for myself, only to again, find the same stigma. And no resources.

Not having any clue how to help myself, because even the mental health field is spitting so much vitriol at people with DISORDERS (who they're supposed to be helping!) that there's no solid research or therapy programs for people like me.

Losing close friends when they find out, despite us having had a good relationship before, and them KNOWING me and knowing that I'm not like the trending image of pwNPD. Because now they only see me through the lens of stigma and misinformation.

Hearing the same stigma come up literally wherever I go. Clubs. Meetings. Any online space. At the bus stop. At the mall. At a restaurant. At work. Buzzword of the year that everyone loooves loudly throwing around with their friends or over the phone. Feels awesome for me, makes my day so much better/s

I could go on for a long time, but I'm scared no one will read/rb this if it gets too much longer.

So please. Stop using the word "narcissist" as a synonym for "abusive".

Stop bringing up people you hate who you believe to have NPD because of a stigmatizing article full of misinformation whenever someone with actual NPD opens their mouth. (Imagine if people did that with any other disorder! "Hey, I'm autistic." "Oh... my old roommate screamed at me whenever I made noise around him, and didn't understand my needs, which seems like sensory overload and difficulty with social cues. He was definitely autistic. But as long as you're self-aware and always restraining your innate desire to be an abusive asshole, you're okay I guess, maybe." ...See how offensive and ignorant that is?)

Stop preventing healthcare for people with a disorder just because it's trendy to use us as a scapegoat.

If you got this far, thank you for reading, and please share this if you can. Further reading is under the cut.

NPD Criteria, re-written by someone who actually has NPD

Stigma in the DSM

Common perception of the DSM criteria vs how someone may actually experience them (Keep in mind that this is the way I personally experience these symptoms, and that presentation can vary a lot between individuals)

"Idk, the stigma is right though, because I've known a lot of people with NPD who are jerks, so I'm going to continue to support the blockage of treatment for this condition."

(All of these were written by me, because I didn't want to link to other folks' posts without permission, but if you want to add your own links in reblogs or replies please feel free <3)

[navstuffs]

About Tradition and Responsibility

Pairing: Gojo Satoru x WifeF!Reader

Summary: You, a non-Jujutsu sorcerer, married the Gojo Satoru. After having your first child, the higher-ups demand to meet you and your first born son.

Warning tags: protective!Satoru, tiny angst if you squint, non-jujutsu sorcerer reader, no y/n usage

Author's Notes: hiii, i wrote this based on my own post, having one of my favorite tropes (protectiveness)! this might have a second part i haven't wrote yet, we shall see. enjoy your reading!

You keep your head down, trying to focus on the peaceful expression of the baby in your arms, your first newborn son, Kotaro. He is perfect, from his white curls to his tiny toes. You can't help but give him a small smile, your hands gripping his little body, promising silently to always protect him from any harm in the world. You feel so much love for your son that it is difficult to understand anyone who could find his existence wrong due to one ridiculous minuscule detail: when Kotaro opens his eyes, they are your eye color. Not your husband's vivid, ethereal blue eyes. 

Because of that, Kotaro Gojo is considered a waste of time—almost a mistake, but no one would dare say that in front of you or his father.

The door in front of you opens, and an older lady announces that the elders are ready to see you. You get up from the bench, bringing Kotaro closer to your chest. 

It is finally time to face your curses.

-x-

When Gojo Satoru decided to marry a non-jujutsu user, the higher-ups thought it was a joke. A good one especially coming from Gojo, who was known to do anything to piss off the hierarchy of the Jujutsu world, as if Satoru's whole existence wasn't on top of all that, as if any of those ancient and outdated men had anything to complain about the woman he chose as his wife.

However, when Gojo decided to proceed with this marriage, most were still shocked. They never thought Gojo would marry anyone, so soon, interest spiked in the mysterious woman he decided to marry. 

You wish you could tell your first meeting with the strongest sorcerer had been something glorious, but no. It was in your small candy shop, the one passed down to you by your parents from their parents. On a rainy day, that strange tall man with white bandages and white hair entered, sniffing the air like a hound dog. Gojo insisted on buying all the sweets you had on display, and instead of leaving, heard you explain how you made each of them, fascinated. 

After that day, Satoru started appearing daily, buying all the sweets on display by the end of the day. Gojo always mentioned he first fell in love with your cooking, but you didn't know when exactly you fell in love with him. Maybe it was the comfort of having someone understand those sudden chills around your body as if something had been watching you until Satoru entered the shop. He never found that weird at all. 

At first, Gojo kept you away as best as he could. You could sense curses with a chill in your body but couldn't see them (a blessing, for what Gojo described sometimes). And since you met your now-future-husband, as powerful as you could remotely grasp he was, Gojo was also the silliest and most annoying man you ever met. If you got upset with something he did for any reason, he would not leave you alone until you reassured him you weren't mad anymore. On top of that, Satoru was easily manipulated with sweets. Again, a big grown baby.

He never shared the consequences of what it meant to marry him. The letters started coming two months after the marriage, with your name on them, presenting themselves as chairpeople of the Jujutsu Sorcerers, and they were eager to meet you whenever you could. Gojo always told you to ignore those letters, throw them in the trash, and burn them if you wanted. 

Then Kotaro was born. It had been a normal pregnancy, with the usual sickness in the morning and mood swings, but at least your baby was born healthy. You couldn't be happier, and Gojo couldn't be happier. The baby not having the same blue eyes didn't concern your husband, reassuring you that everything was fine.

Until it wasn't: the letter that made you come into this meeting with the elders without your husband's knowledge had a clear underlying threat in those polite words: You were to bring Kotaro for them to look at, or they would be forced to bring you in. Gojo had shielded you from this for far too long.

As soon as you enter the oval room, you notice the covers: you can't see any faces, but you are sure all stares are on you and your baby. Kotaro rubs his face against your chest, and you bring him closer, shielding him from their judgmental glances.

"Come forward." A masculine voice demands.

You walk in the middle of the room and stop. No one speaks.

"You wanted to see me?" You ask, surprised your voice isn't trembling. You wonder if they can hear your heart exploding in your chest. 

"Yes. We never had the chance to meet with the wife of Gojo Satoru; he has kept you hidden for a long time."

"I am sure he had his reasons." 

"Not that it matters who Gojo Satoru decided to marry, but his decisions impact the Jujutsu World, wanting or not." An older voice speaks, clearly angry with your disobedience. 

"And who would stop him from making those decisions?" You question, trying to sound courteous but instead sounding resentful. Satoru has told you about these higher-ups: focused on their old ways, not allowing anything that disturbs their way. Only their way is correct. Tradition. Anything that breaks from the fine formal line should be eliminated. "No one can stop Gojo Satoru from doing what he wants. As his wife, I should be the first one to know."

Silence. You breathe deeply, part of you still fearful of what is about to come. They have yet to speak about Kotaro, so you dread the inevitable moment. Now, something deep inside of you screams you should have told Satoru. What if you walked straight into a trap?

"Your child." A third voice speaks, and the whole atmosphere of the room seems to change when he mentions your son. You grip Kotaro's small body again, ready for what will come. "He does not possess the same eyes as his father, as we can see."

"So? It is not like every single member of the clan was born with six eyes." You ask defiantly.

"Of course not," The man snickers. "But this is Gojo Satoru's son. Haven't you thought about the consequences of having a child with a man like that?"

"Satoru keeps us safe! And if he isn't here, I keep my child safe. Never underestimate the love a mother has for her child."

"There is no doubt in a mother's love for her child. There is also no doubt that some might carry a heavy hatred for Gojo Satoru. If, for some reason, you were caught vulnerable…"

"What? What are you talking about?" Your voice shakes a little, but you keep yourself steady. For Kotaro.

"Many curses and even sorcerers have hidden and disappeared because of Gojo. Many fear him. When your husband was born, he altered the balance of our world. If there is an even remote possibility Gojo can't defend himself or, even worse, if you get pregnant again and this baby comes with six eyes…we can't even imagine how bad it would be the repercussions." The tone of false concern disgusts you. Sensing your uneasiness, Kotaro starts whining, and you start rocking him. 

You are not stupid. Those men didn't care about you or your baby's safety. They wanted six eyes that they could control, nothing else, nothing more. You haven't given any proof that you are worthy of being married to Satoru.

You don't get to answer because the door behind you opens, and all eyes are directed to the man behind you. You don't even have to turn around, your sixth sense telling you: Satoru. And he is pissed. He takes a moment to analyze the room in front of him, seeing you in the middle with your son in his arms, crying. His son crying. Gojo walks in, no blindfold on, without asking for permission (not that anyone was waiting for one), and ignores everyone as he stops right before you.

His blue eyes scan you and Kotaro from the top of your head to the feet, concerned. 

"Are you okay? Is Kotaro okay?" Satoru asks in a gentle tone, ignoring anyone around. You nod, starting to form an apology, but he shakes his head, calming you. "There's nothing to apologize for. You did well. You always do well. Stand beside me, okay?"  

You nod as Satoru forms a shield between you and the higher-ups. Surprisingly, Kotaro has stopped whining, feeling his dad is close by. No one speaks, and everyone seems to be holding down their breaths.

"So," Satoru's tone is calm, "who cares to explain how my wife and son ended up here?"

No answer comes, and you can sense the fear over the room, which differs from your husband's posture. Those who don't know him might believe in Satoru's calm posture, but you and probably the rest of the elders knew this was only a façade. In Satoru's veins, there is only anger. The only reason any of those higher-ups are still alive is because of your and Kotaro's presence. Not because Satoru would hurt you or his son if he had to kill them, but because he didn't want to shock you or accidentally make you fear him. You had never seen him kill before.

You don't know yet what lengths he would go to protect you and his child.

"We were just worried about her well-being, that's all." Some brave higher-up answers and Gojo snickers.

"Oh? More worried than her husband then?"

"You know, we had to meet her eventually. You kept her away from our world, your world, for far too long."

"And she was fine until you brought her into this. My wife and my son are none of your concerns."

"Not if she births a child with six eyes. Then it is our concern." Your body tenses behind Gojo, immediately causing him to react back, his murderous energy filling the room. If you felt it, those elders felt it as well, silencing them.

Kotaro starts crying again, sensing the threatening energy in the room. You had never felt such a destructive sensation coming from your husband before, but you managed to grab Satoru's arm.

"'Toru? Kotaro is scared." And you are scared.

The energy instantly leaves, and Satoru turns around, worried. You tremble with fear, and Kotaro bawls, tears dropping from his eyes. He instantly places his black blindfold on his eyes before taking Kotaro from your arms and gently rocking him. 

"Can we leave, please?" You ask, and Satoru nods, grabbing your hand with his free one. Before turning around to leave, he announces in a frightening tone to the entire room, "If I ever hear any of you trying to make any sort of contact with my wife or son, I won't be so merciful."

With that, Gojo Satoru pulls you away from that horrible place you promised to never see again.

-x-

Satoru dismisses the driver who drove you there. Instead, he takes you to his car, finding Kiyotaka Ijichi with a nervous smile when he sees you. You manage to smile back, and Ijichi seems relieved that you and Kotaro are okay. The ride home is silent, and Satoru never lets go of your hand. Kotaro is in the other one, sleeping safely in his arms. You can't bear to look at your husband, too afraid of what you are about to see: disappointment? Anger? He would be right to feel like that. You endangered not only yourself but Kotaro in this whole situation.

After Ijichi leaves you at home, you gently take a sleepy Kotaro away from your husband's arms. Satoru had this enchantment with your son, making him feel calm and safe. Like mother like son, you guess. You place Kotaro gently on his mat, watching as he gets comfortable. How careless of you to put your son in such a dangerous situation.

"Do you want to talk about this?" Satoru whispers, and you shake your head.

"I am sorry." To Kotaro. To Satoru. To yourself. "I thought I could—"

Satoru slowly closes the proximity between you two. He waits, watching the tears flowing down your eyes, sitting at your side, and when you hide your face on his shoulders, his arms are around you, bringing you to his lap.

"You had no idea."

"I endangered our son! Do you know how serious that is?"

"You would never let them do anything to him."

"How would I even stop them, Satoru?"

"I don't know, but I know you. You would find a way." Satoru simply shrugs, which sounds to him like the most obvious answer, and you don't know if you laugh or cry or his hopes on you. "Which would involve bringing me there."

"Yes, bring my most dangerous weapon: Satoru Gojo." You two chuckle low so you don't wake up Kotaro.

"Nothing will ever happen to you or Kotaro. I won't allow it. Be sure of it."

"They said you have enemies…"

"Who wouldn't dare to lay a finger on one stray of Kotaro's hair. Or yours. Come on, you don't have some faith in me?"

Remembering the amount of energy you felt earlier, you feel a chill pass your body. "I do, 'Toru. I was crazy enough to marry you."

"And would you lose the chance to be the luckiest woman alive?"

"With the most pretentious husband ever." You roll your eyes, feeling happy inside. The earlier one may have scared you. But you know this Satoru, back to his usual pretentious self. 

You get more comfortable in Satoru's lap, your eyes never entirely leaving Kotaro. He looks so peaceful with his eyes closed like that; he is Satoru 100%, except for his eyes. What blame did he have? You vowed to protect and love him as soon as he came out of you, no matter what came after him. And by the looks on Satoru's face, he also does.

Slowly, you can feel your eyes getting heavy as you become more comfortable in Satoru's arms—like a mother, like son. 

"Rest, my love. I will take care of it all. I will never leave you, I promise."

[griffin-girl-r]

You're not mine (Part 1)

Created: 08.10.2023

Finished: 08.10.2023

Edited: 08.10.2023

Age: 15

Word count: 1,344

Warnings: Abandonment, Child neglecting, Self harm, Blood, Blade, Arguments, Screaming, Child favoritism

Note: Please proceed with caution if you're triggered by any of the warnings above.

Request: Yes (Wattpad user) (@herospark18)

Pairing: WinterWidow

Summary: Natasha adopted you from the Red Room when you were only a baby, but when she and Bucky had their own child, she started forgetting about you.

Part 2

—

"I hate you!" You shouted, slamming the door behind you

"Y/N, we're not done!" Natasha, your mother, shouted from downstairs "Get back here!"

This was a daily occurrence by now.

The, once nonexistent, daily arguments between you and Natasha only got worse over the years.

Although Natasha isn't your biological mother, she raised you like her own after she saved you from the Red Room.

You were only 2 months old when she adopted you and everything went well. You both formed a happy little family for a while.

That was until Natasha started dating Bucky a little after your 10th birthday and she slowly started spending less and less time with you.

But not Bucky was the factor that determined your mother-daughter relationship with Natasha to drift apart.

The main reason behind everything was your 5-year-old baby sister, Tanya, who came into the world a few months after Natasha and Bucky started dating, with a little bit of help from Tony and his technology that, nowadays, seems to defy all odds.

Tanya's arrival only strengthened the bond between her parents, who had a romantic history that started years before even you were born, and, at the same time, weakened the bond between you and Natasha.

You knew the drill by now.

'Tanya is perfect.'

'Tanya is ours.'

'Tanya is innocent.'

Their voices echoed in your brain like a broken record.

Tanya knows that she can get away with everything and Tanya does get away with everything.

Since her birth, it was as if Natasha had completely forgotten about your existence.

It began by ignoring you while she focused her attention solely on Tanya.

She wouldn't feed you anymore, wake you up for school, or cuddle you at night.

She didn't even notice that you changed.

But, how could she, when Tanya was everything she noticed?

—

You stared at yourself in the mirror.

Determination was etched on your pale face as you picked up the blade that was on your sink.

It became a relief for you.

Sliding that blade on your wrist helped you forget about the unbearable pain in your chest.

The crimson blood that was pooling from the cuts held your attention. The pain of being abandoned by two different mothers was momentarily shoved at the back of your mind.

You started harming yourself 2 years ago when you couldn't take Natasha's ignorance any more.

You haven't told anyone and it's not like they would care if they knew anyways. Tanya was the center of their world, not you.

She was the perfect baby, while you were the adopted bastard and a grand mistake that Natasha made.

Natasha never admitted it out loud but you understood the message from the way she was treating you.

The blade fell down from your hand into the sink.

'Is it all because she never gave birth to me?'

And you stared at the trail of blood it left on the white sink.

'Are adopted kids not important, just because they're not blood related?'

You slowly understood.

'Will I ever be treated the same as Tanya?'

The only one left to understand was Natasha.

—

"Y/N, do you want to play with my dolls later?" Tanya asked you a few hours later, during dinner

You pulled at the sleeves of your hoodie even more, hiding your hands inside of them.

"Sure, Tatu." You gave the small child a shy smile "I think I'd like that."

"Tatiana." Natasha sternly looked at Tanya but the tone of her voice was soft "Remember we have a movie night tonight. You can play with Y/N another time."

"Can Y/N come too?" Tanya's big, innocent eyes sparkled while she asked, as Natasha refilled the girl's glass of orange juice

"I think she has more important things to do." Natasha replied, not even bothering to ask what you want "We're going to have a mother-daughter night. It's going to be just us two, sweetheart. Wouldn't it be fun?"

"Yay!" Tanya cheered, throwing her arms in the air

But as she did, she accidentally knocked over the glass filled with juice.

"Oh oh..." Tanya said, looking at the spilled juice "Sorry, Mama."

"Don't worry, baby girl." Natasha smiled, sitting up to clean the mess "Accidents happen."

"That's not what you said the last time when I accidentally knocked over my glass of water." You bitterly spat out at Natasha

"You have no right to talk, Y/N." Natasha snapped at you "Shut up!"

"Natalia, honey, calm down." Bucky, who was sitting beside Natasha, put his hand on her arm "She didn't do anything wrong. She's just a kid."

"She's not a kid, James." Natasha shouted, turning her head in Bucky's direction "She's a grown-up teenager now."

"Talia, I think you are just overreacting right now." Bucky kept trying to calm his wife, sparing a glance in your direction

He looked down at your plate that was untouched, the effect of your lack of appetite obvious on your skinny and fragile frame.

"I think I'm full." You quickly sat up from the table

"Sit back down, right in this instance, Y/N." Natasha shouted at you "You don't disrespect your mother like that and get away with it."

"Well, lately, you didn't act like a mother at all." You shouted back at Natasha, pain evident in your voice, but Natasha was oblivious to it "All you care about is Tanya."

"Because she's my child!" Natasha screamed offended "It's only normal to care for her."

"I used to be your child as well!" You shouted, tears forming in your eyes "I still am your child."

"You're not mine!" Natasha shouted and you widened your eyes shocked "You're not anything to me! You aren't my child because you don't have my blood. I didn't carry you or feel you grow day by day inside of me. But with Tanya, I did. You are just a mistake, Y/N!"

"You are the mistake here, Mom!" You cried, slightly lifting your sleeves as Bucky's eyebrows shot in his hairline "Look!" You showed your scarred wrists to the woman "This is all because of you! Why can't you love me like any mother should do? Blood shouldn't be important! You raised me, Natasha."

Bucky reached his metal arm slowly towards your extended arms to inspect your wrists but he was pushed aside by Natasha, who blocked out the fact that you were hurting because of her and ignored the truth, her intrusive thoughts winning as she said something she would never be able to take back.

"You were never truly a part of this family, Y/N!" Natasha shouted "Get that in your head. You are not our blood and you will never be. I saved you because I thought that you would change but I see that you didn't. You are the same. But I did change. I am not the same Natasha that I was in the Red Room. I am better."

Shaking your head, you took a few steps backward.

"I can't believe you." You whispered in disbelief

"Y/N..." Bucky breathed out, sitting up from his chair "Don't listen to your mother, she's just tired. She didn't mean what she said."

"She knew damn well what she was saying." You kept shaking your head, a lone tear falling down your cheek

"Then get that in your head once and for all." Natasha shouted once more, stubbornly fixated on her wrong belief that she was right

"I hate you!" You shouted at Natasha "I wish you never rescued me from the Red Room!"

And with that, you stormed out of the house and ran into the veil of darkness provided by the night.

Bucky tried to run after you but it was too late.

He found no sight of you or any clue where you might have run away to.

—

Bucky walked inside the house and looked at Natasha who was still oblivious to the damage she had done and muttered one question.

"What have you done?!"

—

Permanent taglist: @lizlil , @lovelyy-moonlight , @theunchosenonee , @ravensinthedaylight , @justarandomreaderxoxo , @youralphawolf72 , @mmmmokdok , @natashasnoodle , @observeowl , @circe143 , @kassies-take , @taliiiaasteria , @sheneonromanoff , @darkstar225

[glitter-soda]

The thing that gets me about fatphobic radfems/rad-adjacents is that they’re choosing to ignore how thoroughly weight stigma affects people, especially women, because of their own bias. And I’m not just talking about the constant insults and jokes that imply we’re absolutely hideous and not worth respecting.

I’m not even going to touch on diet culture or eating disorders or how many women and girls destroy their bodies because they’re terrified of becoming fat. At least most of you recognize how harmful these topics are but don’t seem to make the connection that they’d lessen significantly if weight stigma wasn’t so prevalent.

Higher BMI is linked to lower wages and fewer promotions for women:

In general, overweight people receive poorer quality healthcare:

https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/obr.13606

I’m including an example of a woman dying because of the above point:

But hey, we deserve this stuff for being disgusting, unhealthy fatties right?

[tippenfunkaport]

"She-Ra is bad bisexual rep because all the bi/pan characters end up in m/f relationships!"

Not true! Perfuma is bi/pan and she ends up with Scorpia!

"Oh, well I like to headcanon Perfuma as a lesbian."

...so then you understand that's not the show's fault, right? That that's just a problem you made up in your head?

-

Excuse me a second, I need to scream about this...

Because this has come up over and over (esp on Twitter and TikTok) with people who want to claim that every bi/pan SPOP character ends up in a m/f relationship... by conveniently pretending Perfuma is not canonically bi/pan herself. And every time they are asked to elaborate why they are ignoring her canon status, they give the same answer: that they consider Perfuma a lesbian because now that she's with a woman, she's "not bi anymore"

And... yeah... you know that's not how it works, right? That being bi/pan is not just a phase you get over? That a bi/pan woman dating another woman doesn't suddenly make her a lesbian any more than it makes a bi/pan person dating someone of the opposite gender magically straight?

The person you are currently dating does not change your bi/pan status. Ever. And insisting it does, especially just so you can score some points by making up an issue about a show to be mad about, is super GD harm harmful to the real bi/pan people in your life.

(This is the exact same thing The Owl House fandom does with Lumity and why Dana had to make Luz present a whole slideshow in the cartoon reminding everyone she is still very much bi even though Amity is a lesbian. TOH fans kept insisting because Luz is dating Amity now, she's a lesbian. Nope. Her and Amity can be married for a billion years and that wouldn't change Luz's orientation.)

"But I heard that someone's roommate's cousin who worked with someone on the show once liked a fanart that showed Scorfuma with the lesbian flag so it's basically canon!"

First of all, the legend of this grows daily and I think it's really telling that this archival obsessed fandom only talks about this mythical like and yet has never been able to produce a single screenshot of it.

But for the sake of argument, let's say that this really happened and actually exists, that someone related to the show, however distantly, liked fanart once that implied Perfuma was a lesbian somehow. That still doesn't make it canon. People related to the show and even ND himself have liked and reblogged all sorts of stuff that isn't canon, including g/a, and have been very clear that the only canon is what happens within the show itself.

And, in the show, Perfuma is canonically bi/pan. We see her crushing on Bow, She-Ra, Huntara and Scorpia. The fact that people want to pretend the Bow thing never happened when he's the only character we see her actually date over the run of the show AND it's a major Season 1 plot point is wild to me and just shows the lengths people will go for bi/pan erasure.

And I get that some people enjoy using Perfuma to tell a story about comphet or coming out as a lesbian later in life and I am fully in favor of doing your thing with your headcanons in fanworks. But when it reaches the point it has now where fans are attacking other fans for saying Perfuma is bi/pan or attacking the show for not having any bi/pan character in same sex relationships when Perfuma is CANONICALLY bi/pan is ridiculous. 

Keep in mind that your headcanon is literally just something you made up in your head. It's pretend. Fun, yes, but NOT something you can use as justification to attack people over!

Especially when it's something like this that causes real world harm by perpetuating harmful stereotypes about bi/pan people being "just a phase" or a temporary state that changes based on who you date.

[misscammiedawn]

Ethical Personality Play

So. I've written about my experiences with Personality Play in the past. A couple times, actually.

The TL;DR is that from early 2000s-2019 this was my signature move that the first three hypnotists I was tied up with utilized on a near daily basis. The damage of this abuse has never been fully tallied, but if you want my "how to alter your personality with hypnosis" guide in a word it is simple:

Don't.

"But what if I want to do hypnotic edgeplay?"

But saving that... let me impart some wisdom in hopes that y'all will play nice and safe with this.

Firstly let me define the terms.

Personality Play is any form of hypnosis scene that alters aspects of the individual's identity whether it be for a scene, as a permanent trigger or as permanent conditioning. The danger amplifies with the more severe and lasting the changes are but there is always danger.

So, let's cover each area of what can be done, how it can be harmful and how to avoid that harm.

General rules

Before even negotiating this kind of play. Disclose.

If you are engaging with intimate hypnosis at this end of the danger spectrum then you need to have a level of intimate trust relative to that risk and this trust needs to go both ways. If I were a hypnotist introducing this kind of play into the mix I would do so only if I could trust in my hypnotee partner's mental state.

I disclose my BPD and DID at the start of any hypnotic relationship and talk about how they impact me. How the depersonalization and derealization symptoms require a level of grounding before and after play and what to do if my emotional state switches during the middle of a scene. This is not an easy thing for me to do, especially if time is a limited factor, but it's a necessary thing to do.

I do not expect every person playing be willing to disclose every mental condition they have or open up about possible abreaction triggers. That's sensitive information and it's natural to not want to be open about that with every partner. I do, however emphasize that it is vital for that information to be known when approaching these topics. It is unfair for the partner in the scenarios to be responsible for managing safety on either side of the watch when they are unaware of the depths of vulnerability.

I have experience with this fallacy myself. In utilizing hypnosis to ignore my triggers I did severe damage to myself and I am now plagued with intrusive memories and nightmares of events that happened during scenes that I was able to effortlessly indulge in during the scene but as they say "The body keeps the score" and I was in fact doing further damage to myself. Something which my partner at the time was not equipped to deal with because I'd failed to disclose or even treat the situation as worth being safe about.

Now I am just burdened with further damage by ignoring my brain's defenses on my existing pain.

Once again, I refer to my first bit of advice on how to ethically perform Personality Play: DON'T.

Once you have a trusting understanding of both sides of the watch's limits and comforts the next step is grounding.

Grounding is mandatory.

I wrote about my feelings on this before in more depth. The short version, though:

Before and after a scene with intense reality distorting you should take an effort to make a person feel aware of their surroundings, to offer them connection "during the scene you will know I am here and you can pause the scene at any time for any reason" and for them to take stock of their mental state and how they are feeling. Just ask them to display curiosity and provide comfort in the connection between hypnotist and hypnotee. You will be returning here and you need to make it an inviting space.

Grounding should also include a reminder that the hypnotee will be aware of what is happening the whole time. I'll cover this more in the more risky portion, but the key to safety is to ensure that the hypnotee is not immersed in any headspaces they may slip into (with the understanding that there is another gradient here of subspace and highs and peaks from scene play which are chemical reactions and those highs are a little more natural than the altered headspaces I am referring to).

For another grain of personal experience and warning here, I just want to talk about the three hypnotists who played with me utilizing personality play. One knew what he was doing, one didn't know what they were doing and one didn't care. I'll refer to them as Noel (knew better), Dinny (didn't know) and Carrie (didn't care).

Dinny expected that if a scene got too much for me that I would drop out of trance or end the scene. To them they assumed that no one will do anything in hypnosis that they didn't want to do and that it was just extreme play-acting. They likely didn't believe in hypnosis all that much and used it as a framework for roleplay, which is their true indulgence.

So if a scene got too intense for them they would safeword. End the scene. They were in control.

As someone who was immersed in the play and had no grounding, there was no escape because within the framework of the scene, there was no "out of character" there was the scene and that was all that was happening.

You cannot assume that a hypnotee will safeword and end a scene unless they receive the proper grounding and instruction to do so. If you're going to be doing edge play, you have to surrender the fantasy and make sure reality is in the scene at all times. Both sides of the watch. If you are entering in a scene where a person is altered throughout then you cannot expect them to act on their agency. It's a CNC scene by default and you need to introduce safety and consent to avoid that.

Likewise I want to note the power imbalance that comes from play like this. A motivated hypnotee can fling themselves into this arena and do harm to the hypnotist. This does fly both ways. A hypnotee not advocating for themselves or exercising their agency will make a hypnotist accessory to the damage.

This is a sin I have committed.

A hypnotist has a responsibility to themselves to not allow a self-neglecting hypnotee use hypnosis as a method of psychological self-harm. This guide is as much to protect a hypnotist from being abused as it is for hypnotees to avoid allowing themselves to be abused.

Every side is vulnerable in these exchanges.

So... now that we understand the basics before we can even start, let's start in the shallow end and work out way up.

Emotion Control/Intelligence Play

Starting soft. This is fairly standard play and so long as you're being mindful I doubt many would have too many problems with these suggestions.

Infatuation potions, ditzy spells... this is fairly standard stuff.

The key thing to do is to ensure that the effects are temporary and impersonal. For instance for an intelligence play scene you may want to picture a dial in the hypnotees head that has a default setting. Take a moment to ground that default setting. What is normal. What it feels like out of hypnosis. Then you can suggest that it will always return to this default setting after a time but for now we intend to dial it back down, as you feel yourself growing sillier and sillier.

This is a safe way to handle a scene like this because even if you do not perform a post-session grounding (which you always should), the default will naturally return.

Likewise infatuation potions you can mention how your body will metabolize and you'll be aware of the artificial nature of the emotions you feel.

Being aware of the artificial nature of the emotions at play will prevent lingering effects. Even after you clean up there will always be a little bit left over and it's a matter of limiting how much sticks around and where the mind will return to.

I safely play with suggestions like this to this day even when Personality Play in the broader sense is Red for me. This is safe. It's manageable. It's temporary and with a partner who is willing to make space for it, you can keep reality in the room. Safe and secure.

But it can still be dangerous.

Let's see the intelligence play scene was handled poorly. Instead of a temporary dial which defaults to normal a hypnotist instead asked "Debra" to imagine herself with platinum blonde hair, a larger chest, all her thoughts evaporating into a pink bubblegum mist as boundless confidence overcomes her until she transforms into her bimbo persona, "Debbie" and Debbie can be summoned at a simple turn of phrase.

That right there? That's DANGEROUS.

We'll cover more as to why when I go over persona/character play, but it's a good example of how a "bimbo trigger" can be performed ethically and how it can be performed dangerously.

*sighs*

So let's move on...

Altered Headspaces

By altered headspaces I mean suggestions and scenes that play on your ability to perceive and process things. This can be the drugged/drunk sequences, hallucinations of any variety. It can be impulsiveness or boosts of confidence or terror.

Y'know. Stage hypnosis stuff. Because as we know, stage hypnosis tricks are a bastion of "ethical" suggestions.

Seriously though. The prevalence of these types of suggestion in the public perception make us as a community look bad and it's why doing them safely is vital, especially if we do get people entering the community with the idea of types of play which are risky at best from the get-go.

For these suggestions you want to provide the above grounding, but the hypnotee also needs to be able to have an objective view to their state so they can advocate for themselves.

Any altered headspace will supplement agency. It's why you cannot negotiate with someone when they are fractionated. Thusly, any interaction you have with someone in an altered headspace is going to be dubious consent by default. What if you made someone slutty for a scene and they escalated the scene to a sexual one without prior negotiation or existing rapport.

The correct thing to do is end the scene there and then. Otherwise the hypnotist is taking advantage of the hypnotee.

That's a fairly plain example, too. Hence why I feel even this level is edge play.

I don't particularly want to share my personal experience in this realm. Suffice to say I've never once in my life had lucid sexual intimacy with a partner. Every single time I was altered. I literally cannot approach the concept/act without being altered first. I invited it.

The body keeps score.

The way to practice this safely is to encourage the hypnotee to maintain an awareness and presence in the scene. There is a risk to this as incentivizing a dissociation between the conscious self and the altered self is the exact thing we are trying to avoid in these scenarios.

I refer again to the shining DON'T at the top of the post.

But with the correct grounding and temporary status of any scene this risk is lower than the risk of allowing a hypnotee to dive into a scene so heavily that they will ignore their personal ethics and safety for the consideration of the scene at play.

It's either allowing them the ability to advocate for themselves while altered, "the hidden observer will always be present during the scene and can stop things for any reason or just to check in" basically it's keeping reality in the room. A hypnotee should be discouraged from throwing themselves headlong into the fantasy and an awareness of waking self and the artificial nature of play is important, particularly the more immersive you go...

So...

Character/Persona Play

Which brings me to the final warning.

Please do not even attempt this. I see kids in tulpa communities and roleplayers who can't see the harm in becoming their characters and I wish I could share a grain of my experiences.

I did this for 18 years. Eighteen years. Daily. The damage it has done to me is never ever going to be fixed.

The thread I made on Twitter received a number of supportive messages from others with dissociative disorders who echoed my sentiments. I'm legitimately at the point where I ask "were we attracted to this type of play because we were predisposed to it" or "do we have serious disorders due to our time playing in the deep end"

Neither one need to be true. Doing so did damage. A lot of damage.

So here's my first question off the bat.

"What if your hypnotist gets hit by a bus?" what if one day you wake up and you no longer have someone to explore this gigantic portion of your soul with. What if access to this kind of play existed only within a relationship. Are you willing to allow that much of your personal experience and agency be left to someone else's hands?

What about trust. Can you trust someone to shape a part of yourself? Dinny, Carrie and Noel each did harm in their own way handling the bits of me I shared with them. Noel warped and twisted and perverted them to the point of which these characters, real and living aspects of me feel violated by his impact upon them. Carrie abandoned them and let them wither and die without even considering attachments I had made to them... attachments they had to the stories and connections they had made... and then Dinny? Dinny never treated them as real. They were fantasy and the situations were fantasy and it was all just a game.

Let me tell you about that last one. If you want to play out a hateship scene and utilize hypnosis to make your partner think that they are in that hateship scene, the emotions exist. They will bleed through and poison you in your waking state. If you are made to perform as a vampire who wants nothing more than to taste flesh then you are going to feel that desperate hunger and be trying with every fiber of your being to overpower the hypnotist who has the ability to end the scene if things get rough but, and this is the important part, unless you set up grounding-- you will not know that in the moment.

I legitimately have nightmares about the things I did while acting in scenes Dinny ran.

And lastly...

Are you willing to accept that there are parts of you that can do things that you in your waking and natural state, simply cannot do?

I do not know if doing these things makes you more vulnerable to the symptoms of a dissociative disorder or not, but I know that a damn lot of people who did this stuff excessively happen to have these symptoms.

Look. I don't hide my DID diagnosis on Tumblr. It hurts that I have a mesmerizing Fae in my heart who is more lovable than I am, more confident, more capable, more experienced and charming. I hate that she can perform feminine voice better than me. I hate that she can push boundaries and harm me without a thought. I hate feeling inferior to me. I hate feeling like I'm just a function of a person that people want around more.

I hate finding evidence that she had a whole online life that we hid so well that even post-diagnosis I am not fully sure what she did. I hate feeling powerless that I'm not in control of my own life and reality.

Dawn scares me. I am afraid of the part of me that most people love.

...and I have no way of communicating that as a warning that doesn't sound exotic and enticing. Because dissociative disorders are not exotic and enticing. They're boring, exhausting and tedious and though I am 50/50 on whether it can be accidentally induced through hypnosis play, I know there is no damned chance in hell any person should willingly gamble with that possibility.

I know so many systems and people who have endured extreme brainwashing who would be behind me when I say this.

DO. NOT. DO. IT.

...and so... assuming you have read all the warnings and you're not actively trying to invoke installed personalities into a person (which I do not condone under any circumstances at all).

How can we do character play and not leave lasting damage?

That's a question I have asked myself so so many times.

Firstly, avoid anything that makes the character headspace an extra layer. Do not use hypnosis to mold them. Do not give them their own triggers. Do not do anything which can be used as a divide between the waking self and the constructed persona.

But that's more "Don't" isn't it. Here's what you can do.

I think the best way is instead of having the hypnotee monitor the scene and step in when they need to, ask them to treat it as a performance. That they are aware of the artificial nature of the scene but at all times they will commit to taking on the role as an actor would on stage.

The key is to associate the role with the hypnotee enough that they are present in the scene while allowing them to commit to the actions without experiencing the thoughts and feelings of their own. Insist that no matter the morality and behavior of the character, the hypnotee as the actor will never cross their personal limits or ethics for the sake of the scene.

Then at the end of the sequence be sure to end the scene and ground the hypnotee, have them remember everything that had happened, remember them performing the act and deciding how to handle every decision. Make sure that the entire time that character and actor are one and the same and all hypnosis is doing is allowing the actor to invest in the bit.

That is legitimately the only safe way I think one can engage in this kind of play and from that angle it seems as harmless a suggestion as any scene.

But no shortcuts. No triggers that induce character headspace. No trying to breathe life into characters and allow them to inhabit. Even channeling them or letting them speak through the hypnotee courts a level of dissonance between states.

It's possible to enjoy the spontaneity of character play without suppressing the ego of the hypnotee. As I mentioned at the start, it may seem like a desirable outcome for some hypnotees to experience a state of ego-death and allow themselves to experience becoming someone else for a little while. It sounds appealing on paper.

A responsible hypnotist should never indulge that kind of desire and a respectable hypnotee should never burden a hypnotist with that level of responsibility. The damage is too risky.

Lastly, and this applies to all.

DEBFRIEF

Every major scene in any kink should involve a debrief segment. This helps with the grounding and it helps establish the in and out of scene dynamic while allowing the hypnotee to associate with their actions. "I did" rather than "they did".

One of my bigger mistakes in character play in my younger days was that I baked amnesia in and allowed my play partner to tell me about the scenes after the fact. This made it seem like the characters in the scene were the ones controlling things and I was a passive and absent spectator. Not good for healthy associations.

During a debrief the hypnotist and hypnotee should discuss their roles in the scene, how they felt during the experience. It gives both parties an opportunity to interrogate how the other is perceiving things, catch any flags (abuse of control over the scene, losing reality to fantasy etc) and give one another ideas for how to improve for future scenes. Debriefs make all kink play better in my opinion. Plus who doesn't like a bit of feedback on how you handled things in scene?

...look... I don't want to be an old lady yelling at the kids for doing things when I did them myself at that age.

I'd be a hypocrite if I didn't pretend I didn't see the allure on both sides of the watch.

I just... there weren't 20+ year experienced hypnosis veterans who had been in my character play abusing position when I was growing up. No one warned me. I learned all this the hard way and I hurt people. People I loved. Moreover I hurt me. In ways that will never heal.

I just want to spare anyone I can the pain of going through this.

So, in quick summary:

Ensure reality is always in the room.

Ensure the hypnotee is always aware of themselves and their action.

Reset after every scene.

Do not allow situational scenes to become direct triggers.

If you insist on reusing altered headspaces and characters then install and deinstal every time to limit any lingering traces out of scene. Do not allow them to have programming/conditioning unique to them.

Avoid allowing the hypnotee to circumvent their own ego and agency in a scene.

Debrief

Play safe... if you must play at all.

[theshiftingwitch]

hello! i have some questions :)

im aware that i have to “ignore the 3D and persist in my imagination”, but for me that’s a lot easier said than done. for the past 2 or 3 days ive been really good with robotically affirming, and whenever i get an intrusive thought like “i can’t manifest”, i just repeat “i can” and get back to my affirmations, i think that’s ignoring the 3D, but that’s as far as i can get right now.

something that im manifesting right now is for my mother to change her ways and become a better person and parent, how do i ignore the 3D and believe in my imagination that easily if she is just attacking me all day? it’s hard. i don’t really understand…

also, i cant really understand the concept of “4D/our imagination is our true reality” and that’s what we have to believe in. ive known about manifestation for years now, but this is relatively new to me, im not sure how i can really get that down, because i can’t really grasp it.

any help that you can give is lovely and greatly appreciated! thank you for your help! 😊

When we say that imagination is our true reality, we mean that everything that ever existed was once nothing but pure imagination. Before inventing cars, they were nothing but imagination that was brought to life. The internet existed only in imagination before translating into 3D reality. Best selling books were nothing but scenarios in the author's imagination, then became a tangible object in the 3D.

Everything starts in your imagination, so that is the true reality. With conscious choices and persistence, that reality is brought through to the 3d, and that is manifesting.

I understand that in your case it is hard to persist while constantly getting triggered. The only thing you have to understand is that the 3d is currently reflecting the old story back to you. How many days, months or years did you sit in your room and complain in your head about how awful your mother is treating you? That is the story that is being played out now. And as is known with LOA, you have to change your inner world so that the mirror (3d) starts reflecting a new reality to you.

You're doing great. Not only did you notice the pattern that was harming you, you also took a conscious decision to change it, and you're sticking with that decision by affirming daily. That is a lot more than most people do, and you're guaranteed success.

So what yo do now? Keep affirming. If visualization works for you, imagine a new life with a kind, supportive mom. If scripting is better for you, write about your daily life now that your family is everything you have ever wanted them to be. The point is to stay in that state of having your desires fulfilled. As for when the 3d is not conforming immediately, just watch it. It's an old movie playing out, and in a few minutes, the movie you want is going to Start. Will you throw the remote at the TV and break the screen because your desired movie took a few minutes longer to start? No! You'll wait because it's only a few moments. Make some popcorn, get a drink, bake some cookies... The old movie has no effect on you, it's just a story playing on the screen that you don't even have to pay attention to. (If the scene is triggering you, walk away from the TV and remember the new movie you're excited about, it's coming soon)

I hope that helps you understand, and if you have any more questions, my inbox is always open ✨

Happy manifesting ❤️

[rentheknightgale]

Thoughts on an ana/mia discord server?

If one already exists hmu. But I am also willing to make my own.

heres what my main rules would look like:

If you don't already have an 3d then don't join looking to get one. This isnt a place to get/start an ed but a place for people who already have it to talk. No coaches. This is for safety. Its okay to motivate people but no ana coaches as they are always no good. No fatphobia. I understand that fatphobia is woven into the fabric of 3ds but its still very harmful to decide that other people should change because of your opinions. This also means no f4tsp0, as it is inherently fatphobic. Keep your 3d to yourself, dont force it on anyone else. (this rule will be STRICT) Body checks are okay as long as they are in the dedicated channel and tw are put for si/sh. Also very little clothing is okay but no s3xualizing clothes or things that are meant to make you look s3xy. Also no br3ast or groin. Obviously. No substance talk. No no, nope. Talking about what meds you take is fine or whatever, but no promotion of alcohol, illegal dr-gs, vaping, grass or tobacco. Also no other forms of substance abuse, no matter how obscure. I am well versed enough to know the slick things and I know just how dangerous and horrible these kinds of things can get and while I can't stop you from doing it, I refuse to allow its influence to be spread. No homophobia, transphobia, ableism, racism, ect. I am also VERY well versed in minorities of all kinds and for these kinds of things its a one strike and you're out. If you say something and it comes off wrong then it will be a warning, but ignorance or hate will be immediately deleted. This would be a 17+ server strictly. oh, you're 16 and your birthday is in two months, nope. Got to wait. I wont ask for any personal info to prove age or anything of the sort, but If in some way I find out you are underage then you will be banned. NO CREEPS!!! I know redflags for gr00mers, and creeps. I will be on the look out. I have had other discord servers in the past where I had to put close friends on blast for creepy shit. I do not care if someone in the server is my best friend, if they are being a creep to you, you can tell me and I will take care of it. I wont shame you, or tell anyone who said something. I have been a victim too and had to go to court. I didn't get justice, I will not cause that kind of pain on even the smallest level to go without justice.

The last one is not even just for my discord server, but in general. If you are going through something my dms are open. Idc what the situation is, if you think you deserved it, if you are a boy, if they were a girl, if they were younger to you, if it was your partner. It doesnt matter to me. I'm here to listen, or to back you up if you want.

There would be other smaller rules, but these are the main ones. If theres some sort of issue with discord and why theres a reason people dont do this then also let me know pls. Also, if there are any other rules I should add, or questions put it in the notes or in my ask box and I'll answer!

Also, this would have a pretty thick authentication system. I hope I can figure it out. But I'm thinking some sort of level system where the more you are active the more access to the server you get. This will help with any raids or creeps. You would need to have quite a few days of talking in the main chat to get access to more and more channels. And the more sensitive ones (like body checking and vent) would be the kinds where you need to be talking daily for a week to get type thing. It sucks but I really need to weed out the minors, creeps, people who dont have 3ds and the like.

[audiblehush]

As a Penelope fan, I’m just sitting here wondering how people who claim to love her are happy with what the show (P2 specifically) has done to her.

Lady Whistledown arose out of Penelope growing up in emotionally abusive household where she was and is ignored and belittled, and she develops deeply ingrained trust issues as a result. As she grows older, society then also treats her pretty terribly (whether because of how she looks, who her family is, her shyness… all make sense in a way) and through luck or planning (since the show never tells us), she creates LW as a coping mechanism to be heard and to hit back… which I get - living that sort of life would be incredibly traumatic on a daily basis; I’m not surprised she got angry! But as a result, she ends up CHOOSING to cause hurt in the way SHE was hurt. She becomes a part of the greater cycle of pain and trauma.

That’s not to say the people around her are flawless; they’re not! But even when Pen is trying to (in her mind) help others, despite her intentions she DOES cause harm, to those she cares about AND strangers, and she does it behind a mask and a fear or exposure and censure. She chooses the nuclear option almost every time because she refuses to trust in or rely on others out of fear.

Penelope is perpetually stuck in a trauma-response and holding onto it like her life depends on it because to her, IT DOES - to her, it is the only way she has a say in her life, her way of surviving the grind of the social season, in the society she DESPERATELY wants to be a part of, but where she barely exists to others and is ignored.

And it was interesting; what a conflict!!Penelope, a young woman in a time where women had little to no power or agency, has created this massive machine that the ton is addicted to and feeds… but the power is heady, and she is ALSO addicted to it and can’t seem to stop despite the harm she KNOWS she’s doing, even when it blows up in her face, even when it harms her AND her precious people. Her hyper independence arose out of being emotionally alone nearly her entire life. She keeps her focus outward instead of internal at all costs, because what will she find when she looks inward?

All of this in S1 and S2 was fine with me because characters are allowed to (and should have) flaws. And I was under the impression that in S3, the narrative was going to finally grapple with Penelope’s trauma and the way she CHOSE to cope with it and how those who love her will grapple with this discovery. I was excited for Colin and Eloise to help her realize she is more than what her life has pushed her to be and what she feels she needs to do to survive. And then the show just… doesn’t.

The show’s answer to this was that LW was a victory for her character; that all she needed to do was “be confident” and that fixes all her pain she caused and that staying LW should be the pinnacle of her character growth.

To the show, Penelope “growing up” means actively choosing her coping mechanism over every relationship in her life and framing it as feminist… and that if she were to be rejected, it’s because those people were rejecting Penelope herself, and that she should be blindly supported… when the reality is that the show forces Penelope to reject everything except LW and never lets her consider a different option.

And I’m screaming into the void because how could they want that for Penelope?! Penelope, a hopeless romantic who reads romance novels to escape and because they are a “history of connection,” the thing she has lacked and seeks desperately! And in P2 she’s not alone; she now has Colin who loves her desperately!

Growing up means doing the hard work of self-reflection and acknowledging when you’ve harmed others and then trying to do better. To realize that you can’t live constantly seeking the validation of society because they will always move the goal posts, and that the harm done to you is a reason… but not an excuse to continue to harm others when you know better. But what does the show do?

The show has the briefest of scenes where she attempted a half-assed apology to Colin before the it barrels past any sort of meaningful conversation and then… ultimately keeps her right where she started… but public now (despite the fact that LW CANNOT function out in the open and the show is fucking dumb to pretend otherwise).

Pen is still focused externally on society instead of inward on her own thoughts and her own dreams. The show handwaves LW as “she’ll do better!” with no explanation for what that looks like or entails, (and ignores how people will weaponize gossip now that they know it’s Pen). The show forces Penelope to remain stagnant because they decided they NEED LW to frame future stories, and they would sacrifice everything, even the romance upon which the season is based, to keep that narrative framing as a crutch.

We could have had Colin finding out earlier in the show, still experiencing his RIGHTFUL anger toward Pen and what she’s done… and then having Pen WANT to fight for Colin but not knowing how! To her, who is she without LW? And Colin loving her enough to call her out and help her realize that only living and focusing on what others are saying is deeply unfulfilling when she has her own thoughts to share with the world… because he KNOWS that! He’s LIVED that! LW is mask for a broken, hurt girl but he loves her anyway and they can help the other heal! Polin against the world, against Cressida’s panicked blackmail, against the Queen… against the ton.

Instead, LW is validated every step of the way. Reconciliations with Eloise and Colin are rushed and hand-waved because the narrative demands it. Penelope and Cressida, set up as parallels, never come to together to realize how their actions were influenced by their similar traumas and that maybe they, along with Eloise, can show solidarity and tackle their problems head on. Nope, Penelope is forced to remain hyper-independent (because ✨girlboss✨ or something ) and never learns to rely on others who want to help her: not Eloise, and not Colin. Colin is regulated to her yes man and trophy husband instead of the love of her life who is her EQUAL and has just as much to share with the world if they support one another. Penelope never gets the chance to learn that you can comment on the failings of and imperfections of society without attacking others. That being a writer doesn’t mean you’re stuck as a GOSSIP writer. That she could in fact write about the “histories of connections” she so admires. Nope, for her it’s “I’m this thing that I do, deal with it.”

Her ending is a literal deus ex machina and that is why it is so deeply unsatisfying for so many viewers.

As a Penelope fan, I’m crushed the show didn’t allow her to grow up and move beyond what her emotionally negligent home life did to her, but instead completely shaped her character and ending around it and painted it as a victory. I’m outlining fix-it fic, but it hurts me knowing that this is “canon” and I’m mostly pretending P2 doesn’t exist (aside from a few sweet moments).

This season certainly wasn’t Colin’s, but it wasn’t even Penelope’s - it was Lady Whistledown’s and the writers don’t even realize that they created a tragedy as a result.

[a-very-tired-jew]

Dropout has an Antisemitism Problem - Part Something

I was going through the Dropout discord because I recall members of the Palestine channel saying Israel doesn't care about the hostages, the hostages were treated well, etc, etc...

I came across an exchange that I had missed due to the rapid nature of Discord messages and...well I'll let you read.

Fig. 1. User compares antisemitism to systemic racism and says it can't exist in Palestine due to power dynamics. Other blogs on here have talked about how antisemites view Jews as holding power and therefore can't be discriminated against. This is my first time seeing it in this type of comparison, which tells us a lot about the user and how they view things. The fact that they think bigotry and discrimination only happens within a power dynamic tells us that they know very little about what they're talking about, and are using progressive activist jargon to hide their ignorance. Systemic racism refers to the structures within a society that give an unfair advantage to one group over and another and/or harm a group based upon ethnicity or race. You can have systemic racism and good ole fashion racism, they are not exclusive. However, the way in which this is framed makes it seem like the user thinks of racism as only an institutional issue and, thusly, antisemitism as well. Which belies the issue that antisemitism informs a lot of Hamas's intent towards Israel and the global Jewish diaspora.

The leaps in logic are such a weird thought experiment of Olympic proportions. If Jews were to live in Gaza, hypothetically, they would likely be subjected to antisemitism due to Hamas being the government, because it would be systemic. However, because there are no Jews in Gaza, and the Jews live in Israel, there is therefore no antisemitism in Gaza (or Palestine in general)... Quite a few leaps, denials, omissions, and outright cognitive dissonance on display there. This specific individual is a goy whom I have referred to in other posts that has routinely defended Hamas's actions and posts daily Al Jazeera updates, so we know where they stand. In all my other posts they are the one to call in mods to kick people out for questioning their narrative. In fact, this particular excerpt comes from a larger exchange where Jews within the channel are discussing Hamas's antisemitic charter, intent, and subsequent actions because another goy user had questions. A mod was called in to address this particular user's actions in telling Jews that antisemitism can't exist because it's only systemic, and the Jews told them that as a goy they can't define what is antisemitic. Well...this user is part of the core group of the channel and has been allowed to stay, whereas Jews have been kicked for lesser reasons. And yeah...they're still there as of March 2024 and routinely posting their AJ updates. Good job Dropout Palestine channel for making sure your Pro-Pal movement doesn't have antisemites in it. Doing a great job /s

[tabletopmonsteroftheweek]

This one would of been a phenomenon mystery concept, however none of the phenomenon types really... felt right/fit it to me? It's essentially a big building, so it doesn't move. But having attacks is also weird to give it, idk.

The House always wins

People on the Vegas strip have gone missing, many believing that they got drunk and lost their way. The cause? A casino, the High Roller, has suddenly had a influx on winners, taking a trip to the penthouse suite to "spend the rest of their lives" at... or at least the last of their lives.

Monster: Aspect of Greed

Type: Parasite (motivation: to infest, control, and devour

The aspect of greed has taken over an existing casino, turning it into low stake high reward. It draws in new players with its low stakes and, those at are lucky enough to hit jackpot multiple times (which is once-twice daily), they are brought up to the penthouse. There the Aspect infests itself into the lucky winner, slowly draining them until they are nothing but dry husks. However, if they prove their worth they instead become the Staff, where they lead more people into the casino effectively giving it more prey.

Powers:

Addiction

Game Manipulation

Luck Detection

Weakness: The House Always Wins in the end... except when it doesn't. Much like gambling addicts, the Aspect of Greed will raise the stakes if it means the reward for itself is far greater. This will mean that it will take riskier bets, such as self-banishment if it loses a game. However, you HAVE to build up to it- it will not jump straight to that if it were just a normal game. Raise it over time, let it win some, get its ego up before the big bets.

Otherwise, using Big Magic in the casinos that circle around it will banish it out of the High Roller. However, this will mean the party is split as it sends minions out to stop the ritual once it knows what's going on.

Armor does not take into account for either- when it loses games it takes around 1-10 harm ignore armor depending on how high the stakes are.

Attacks:

Life-absorbtion- 2 harm close far ignore armor

It's a literal building (+3 armor)

Harm: 15 harm

Custom Moves:

Let the Games Begin- When the players challenge the Aspect, they will take turns on which game is being played. Meaning, the Aspect picks the game first, then the hunter, then back to the Aspect. It goes back and forth until theres one winner, and the hunter does have a chance to lose. All rolls will be done with Act Under Pressure because they ARE under pressure.

Only one hunter can challenge the Aspect to the game. However, that does not mean the other hunters cannot help in other ways as well. The Aspect's Staff will try to tilt the favor to the Aspect at any given chance. The Hunters not playing will have to keep an eye out and stop them before they do something to make the playing hunter lose. To the Aspect, so long as it's not the one cheating, it's not at fault. It will be annoyed if the playing Hunter uses that logic as well, but won't block it.

Addiction/Just One More Game...- The Hunters can easily fall under the influence of the Aspect should they play its random casino games. In order to snap out of it, they must roll Act Under Pressure.

On a 10+, they snap out of it. On a mix, they leave it alone but the temptation is there... they have -1 forward if they play another game (yes, that includes the challenge against The Aspect.) On a miss, they cannot stop playing, it's way too addicting! They have -1 ongoing while in the casino, including the final battle with the Aspect. Maybe one more spin will get them the jackpot...

Minion: The Staff

Type: Renfield (motivation: to push victims towards the monster)

People under the influence of the Aspect of Greed that weren't turned into husks. They lead people into the High Roller, scope out who has better luck, and then make sure they win so that they can go to the penthouse above. The richer the soul, the better luck they have.

Powers:

Game Manipulation

Soul Sight

Attacks:

9mm (2 harm close loud)

Brass Knuckles (1 harm hands small)

Harm: 5 harm

Custom Moves:

Game Manipulation: The Staff will turn the tides of a game no matter what, mostly subtly.

Bystander: Gamblers

Type: Victim (motivation: to unknowingly put themselves in danger.)

These are just random players in the casino. They do not know what they have got themselves into. They will more than likely refuse to leave with the hunters to go anywhere unless convinced that this area is not safe. Otherwise, they will slowly fall under the influence of the Aspect, continuously playing games until they hit their lucky streak and head up to the pent house.

[katzkinder]

Had a dream last night that in a post apocalyptic world ravaged by pollution, the populace lives ignorant of how things used to be due to government suppression of knowledge of the before times. The setting was a city and my dream focused on a school age girl and her inventor father. In order to preserve what little of the world is left, the government has enslaved angel children and force them to provide the power through typing code (??? I guess directly impacting the fabric of reality?) while one of their companions is kept suspended overhead, tortured by a machine to remind them what will will happen to them if they make a mistake, resist, or purposefully try to harm the humans by making bad code. She’s constantly crying or screaming and they have a daily quota to fill for lines. The general populace is both ignorant to their existence and what they go through

One of these angels is a young boy about the same age as the daughter who managed to escape the facility during a rebellion where many of his friends died and he has lots of flashbacks about it? And now that he’s free he’s found himself taking care of the artificial lower class of coal mining orphans in a brick house that’s built to look like a home, but is really the entrance to the mines. The kids who provide the coal people use in their daily lives now that the angels can no longer solely provide the city’s energy needs have spent so much time down in the mines that the only times they can surface to meet with the angel is near dark, when the fake sun is at its lowest in a smog covered sky

There’s a curfew in place and if you’re caught out after dark without permission you’ll be punished, possibly killed? For some reason?? I think there was some implied divine retribution here because when the girl met the angel boy and spent some time with him, with him taking her to show her the orphans, it got so late it was nearly dark but she fine and after she got home her dad was really mad at her lol

There was also a really dirty looking ocean colored purple, so maybe it was an island? And lots of places of leisure to pretty much distract the population and keep them content with the way things are

Might write a short story about this

[eretzyisrael]

Many major Western newspapers, magazines and broadcast media never hesitate to malign Israel on big issues—like how Israel is “mishandling” a war against terrorists in Gaza, how it is “illegally” building communities in Judea and Samaria, or how it is “threatening democracy” by reforming its broken judicial system. But equally harmful is the daily drumbeat of less obvious lies and innuendo embedded in the majority of reporting on Israel in such media as the New York Times, CNN, MSNBC, NPR and the Associated Press (AP).

The biggest reason for falsehoods is “anti-Israel newsroom culture.” Some media, like the Times and AP are serial offenders. They publish falsehoods and biased analysis reflexively, while their management does nothing to stop it. Other media are guilty of errors through ignorance: Reporters offer “facts” they believe are true without checking them, and fact-checkers in busy, under-funded newsrooms are often non-existent.

In either case—politicized bias or outright ignorance—such a steady flood of anti-Israel reporting and analysis at major media amounts, at best, to journalistic malfeasance and at worst, to antisemitic hate speech.

Certain media outlets are just blatantly biased against Israel, period. A study conducted by noted Israeli journalist Lilac Sigan, for example, revealed that over the course of the last year and a half, the Times’ coverage of Israel was largely negative. For instance, out of the 148 articles the Times published about Israel in the first quarter of 2023, 67% were negative, while only 4.7% were positive. The remaining 28.3% were neutral.

Matti Friedman, a former AP writer, outlined his former employer’s anti-Israel culture in a 2014 essay. He wrote that when he and another reporter proposed to do a story on Palestinian corruption, his bureau chief told him this was “not the story,” even though AP covered Israeli corruption at length. Friedman also compiled 27 articles on the “moral failings of Israeli society” between Nov. 8 and Dec. 16, 2011, and noted that this seven-week tally of articles was higher than all stories significantly critical of Palestinian government and society published by his bureau in the preceding three years.

During the fighting in Gaza in 2008 and 2009, Friedman was forced to erase a significant detail from AP’s coverage—the fact Hamas fighters dressed as civilians were counted as part of the civilian death toll. He did this because of a threat to AP’s reporter in Gaza. He also noted that it was AP’s policy “ not to inform readers that the story is censored unless the censorship is Israeli.”

[ladinthehat]

I literally can't fall asleep because I remembered Wayhaven exists, and I am going to make this a problem not only for myself, but anyone else who sees this post as well. I don't even write posts but I really need to throw my thoughts out somewhere lmao

Warning: spoilers for every TWC book, what did you expect. Also talks about mommy/daddy issues and some mentions of harmful stereotypes about POC, both in media and real life. ALSO probably lots of mistakes and rambling, it's literally 3 am give me a break

Wayhaven is such a promising series of books that fell so flat with book 3, even though some could argue there were already issues popping up in book 2. I, personally, enjoyed it just as much as the first one, but that's up to anyone's opinion. Hold on, this deserves a whole list.

My personal and biggest gripe, MC's relationship with their mom. To write something so complex and then chuck it down to two choices (the choices being "forgive your mom" or "don't forgive your mom and everyone will make you feel like a piece of shit") feels so disappointing, especially if you consider what people with parental issues usually deal with irl. Of course there are people who choose to forgive their parent or not, but more often than not (and, as a result of that, what feels most realistic to write in a book) they end up somewhere in-between - it's a bittersweet relationship which you can either choose to continue or not, but the past memories and missed childhood can't just be forgotten and thrown under the rug. That's what MC's relationship with Rebecca could've been, too: a *complex* relationship that can either continue or get cut off completely, and it's a choice that should be respected, because a child that has been neglected has the full right to not trust their willingly neglectful parent again. And to some degree the author does try to achieve it, but in the end you will still have only two choices. And also, in Wayhaven you can literally feel what option author considers to be correct and not choosing that gets you punished severely, e.g. the carnival situation and every dialogue where you choose to not be cordial with Rebecca (the author never forgets to mention how you made everyone feel terrible. "Congrats you piece of shit, you ruined everything because you just can't accept that your mom wants to be buddy buddy again, ugh.") This pattern of turning complex situations into only having yes/no answers, with a negative choice having severe punishments, is such a recurring pattern throughout the whole book series that at this point it feels like a feature that I just didn't get (e.g you don't even get a choice if you want to join the agency or not, you just do, because that's the correct option). Also, I don't believe that literally no one, not even MC's best friends or partner, would try to see their side or god forbid agree with MC cutting contact with Rebecca.

You can literally feel that N and A are supposed to be the star children of TWC. While it was less obvious in book 1, it can't be ignored anymore in books 2 and 3. It does feel even more weird because M and F have the darkest complexions out of the cast, and are depicted as overtly sexual/flirty for absolutely no reason, to the point that sometimes it literally contradicts what the author established about the characters before (M can't handle most fabrics touching their skin and can't eat food because the taste of anything is too much for them, what do you mean they are hypersexual?? isn't sex one of the most stimulating things you can do that can literally be too much for a lot of people that don't even struggle with overstimulation on a daily basis??), but it doesn't feel appropriate to say too much on this issue as I'm literally as white as paper, not to mention that this topic has been brought up by many POC in the IF community who can have more nuance on this situation than I ever could. I can, however, talk about how inconsistent and over-exaggerated M and F's personalities are, compared to A and N feeling much more realistic and well-paced. I hate how M and F are mischaracterized in their own universe and all the meaningful things are overshadowed by "haha M likes sex and is lewd and aggressive" and "haha F is a silly lil' goober". Their romances suffer from it too, which brings me to-

The romance routes could be so much better. And I'm not talking about N or A obviously, even though that's another can of worms that I, frankly, don't want to open, but F and M. M is dumbed down to being aggressive, sexual and borderline feral at times, which are all GREAT traits to give all at the same time in your book to a person of color btw (they're not), but their scenes perform best when the author acknowledges that M is actually none of those things. Just them existing in the same space as MC and feeling at ease and relaxed (and, dare I say, vulnerable) feel much more intimate and rewarding than literal sex scenes, and I feel like that's what romance with M should've been about: two people, who are both lost and confused and overwhelmed in this new to them world (M from memory loss, MC from being thrown into the supernatural scene) bonding, finding comfort and familiarity in each other. Breaking all that buildup with innuendos and sexual propositions feels unnecessary, to be honest.

Continuation of the previous point, but the same could be said about F too. Poor F, the forgotten child of TWC; they're my absolute favorite, and it hurts to see them being thrown somewhere in the background as a comedic relief side character so many times. I feel like they could be the character who gets MC the most, even if they're not dating or particularly close. They have a difficult relationship with their mom, they're thrown into an unfamiliar world that's hard to navigate and it feels like everyone wants too much from them. You can't tell me that it's not some great exposition for a deeper connection between F and MC, both romantic and platonic, as well as an opportunity to explore anxiety and impostor syndrome/separation anxiety (not interchangeable, just feels like either one could fit F) in a seemingly optimistic character. But nah, they like Rebecca and are just a funny little fella. Definitely not playing into more media stereotypes of the only black character in the main cast being a flirty comedic relief.

At this point TWC is going to rival One Piece on the amount of meaningless fillers. And they wouldn't feel so meaningless if the author didn't try to mix slice-of-life and supernatural, or at least didn't mix them so poorly, but most of the time an occasional meaningless scene is thrown into the plot for some short-term tension for what feels to be absolutely no reason other than increasing the word count. Take the blood drive thing as an example of this: what was this scene for?? It started unnecessary tension, had a weird solution and just offered nothing to the rest of the book except for allowing Bobby to finally confront the RO of choice in a very awkward manner. I feel like the author promising 7 books (correct me if I'm wrong, but I remember something like that mentioned in the earliest tumblr posts) feels like a the author chewing off more than she can bite. And it sucks, because had she not had that amount of books (and subsequently a gargantuan word count) looming over her head, we could have had more actually meaningful and fulfilling scenes like ones in the bakery, literally my favorites. It could benefit the pacing, worldbuilding and reader enjoyment greatly.

I could write so much more but at this point I could just go on forever lol

[monellabella]

I am Jewish, by the way. I don’t feel like arguing with you. I’m just saying that. I’ve also done research. there’s loads of writing out there on the inequality between Ashkenazi Jews and other Jews in Israel. Why don’t you look it up yourself? It’s interesting reading. anyways, at any rate even if there wasn’t any inequality you should definitely do research on their apartheid and colonialism towards Palestinians. Even if it’s not towards other jews, and if i got bad info I’ll delete that post, they’re still horribly racist.

I mentioned in my response that I’m aware there is a history of racism by ashkenazi Jews towards sephardi and MENA Jews, and that I by no means think israel is perfect in terms of social equality. But that doesn’t mean it doesn’t deserve to exist as a country. By that metric, I can’t name a single country that would deserve to exist. Social inequity =/= apartheid. On a day to day basis you will never see examples of virulent racism, nor is it something that would ever be tolerated by the average person. Under the law, ALL Israeli citizens (including those of palestinian descent- bc yes, palestinian israelis exist) are equal under the law. When people cite “apartheid” practices, they’re either not true, or are things that are only happening in the west bank (which btw I absolutely disagree with the israeli settler and military occupation of the west bank). The biggest issues for Palestinians being the roads built by the IDF, the checkpoints and resulting abuse of power, and the fact that they are subject to Israeli military law while Jewish settlers are subject to regular Israeli law. Settlers in the west bank are comprised entirely of religious (and some nationalist) extremists who believe in Jewish (/Israeli) supremacy. They are not at all representative of Israeli society as a whole, which is largely secular (not including bibi and ben gvir and the morons in the Likud who are absolutely DESPISED by nearly all Israelis rn). Many Israelis refuse to serve their mandatory military service on the basis of their opposition to the military occupation of the west bank. So yes, the situation in the west bank is horrendous, but it cannot and does not serve as “proof” that Israel is an apartheid state. IF Palestinians in the west bank were Israeli citizens and were still subject to military law, THEN it would be apartheid. But they are under the jurisdiction of the Palestinian Authority, and like I said, it’s the checkpoints and road systems (built by the IDF for settlers) that create daily issues.

As for “colonialism”, Jews are indigenous to the land of Israel. There has been a continuous Jewish presence there for over 3,000 years. You can’t colonize a land that you’re indigenous to. Palestinians, even though they have a centuries long history living in the land, are not indigenous to it. They speak Arabic, they practice Islam- a language and a religion that originated in the Arabian Peninsula. Prior to Israel’s establishment (and really up until the 1960s) there was no Palestinian national identity as we know it today- JEWS living there were called Palestinians, Arabs living there considered themselves Arab, not Palestinian. (And no, I’m not saying that because they’re not indigenous to the land that they should leave or that they have no right to be there- they do, just as much as Jews do).

Lastly, Ashkenazi Jews are not all horrible racists. That’s a harmful and completely false generalization. Do they exist? sure, but they are in the minority. You also have to consider that Jews in the diaspora were/are naturally going to be influenced by the cultural norms and attitudes of the countries they live in- especially during the mid 20th century. But let’s not forget about Operation Solomon- a covert Israeli military operation in the 90s that airlifted over 14,000 Ethiopian Jews out of Ethiopia in 36 hours so they could make Aliyah. There were opponents, sure, but they were ignored and the operation went ahead anyway. Ethiopians coming off the plane were greeted by thousands of cheering Israelis. Doesn’t sound very racist to me. And if you wanna talk about racism, why not talk about the fact that the Arab slave trade still exists? But does that mean that every single Arab person is racist towards black people? NO!

(this isn’t as eloquent as I wanted it to be but I hope I got my point across. If you want me to clarify anything I said don’t hesitate to ask)