#because god knows how fucking terrified the brother would be if he knew anyone there and I want to be prepared

[murky-tannin]

I hate my country so much sometimes. And right now isn't one of those times. Because all i can muster is a little bit of frustration. And that's bad. It's bad I'm so numb to this

[winchestersisterimaginessss]

My Sister’s Keeper

Dean went to hell and Sam left his little sister (16/17 yo) to fend for herself. Dean gets back and he is pissed with Sam and they have to find her. Fluff

Warnings- swearing, angst, fluff lol

A/N- I kind of changed the way Dean was brought back. Instead of going right to Bobby he found Sam first. Let me know if you think I should do a part 2?

“She’s a fucking kid Sam,” Dean let out an angry yell. He couldn’t believe that Sam had ditched their baby sister when she needed him the most. His heart ached as he thought about the times he reassured her that when he was in Hell she would always have Sam and that he would take care of her. He knew that she still wasn’t convinced and it made leaving so much harder, but he had no choice. After all, Dean had raised her and Sam had left them both multiple times. His heart panged when he thought about where she could be all alone. The look of horror on his face when he came to realization, “A young girl at that!” Dean grimaced. God forbid someone touched a hair on her head, they would be dead and Dean would make sure of it. He couldn’t imagine his baby sister alone and scared fending for herself. Sure she was tough, but she was just a kid and he knew her better than she knew herself. He knows that when she claims she’s okay after a hunt, its clear she isn’t as her body betrays her words and she trembles until he or Sam rub her back and let her know that she’s safe. It doesn’t take an idiot to notice the flash of panic on her face after a door slams or a loud noise is heard. Or when they have to calm her down during a panic attack or comfort her in the middle of the night during a nightmare. Or the way she clings to Sam or Dean’s shirt every night when she falls asleep. She was tougher than hell, but at the end of the day she’s just a kid who was forced to live this life. Dean looked at Sam and saw the look of regret that filled his face. “You better fucking find her Sam or I swear to God,” Dean trailed off grabbing his phone to call Bobby, putting it on speaker phone. The phone rang a few times until Bobby picked up, “Hello?” “Hey Bobby it’s Dean, have you heard from Y/N,” Dean asked as he shot a look at Sam. Bobby replied, “I talked to her last week and she said her and Sam were getting close finding you a way out,” Sam’s heart panged as he realized that she told Bobby he was with her so no one would worry about her. She never wanted to be a bother to anyone and he felt even worse knowing she was trying everything in her power to get Dean back while he ran off with a demon. Something that none the less probably cost her her soul. He should have been with her and he will never forgive himself for leaving. But he thought he was doing the right thing in the moment. Now looking back at it he wasn’t sure how he thought that because right now he was terrified at the thought of her being alone or worse, hurt. Sam’s emotions were interrupted by Bobby speaking again, “And I can see that it worked. Welcome back boy.” “Thanks Bobby, do you have an address of where she might be?” Dean replied. Bobby hummed “No, but I have a town.” Dean let out a sign of relief. He grabbed the keys and turned to Sam, “You better hope she’s safe Sam. Let’s go.”

They got into the car and Dean took off. They were about 3 hours out from the town that Bobby sent over. Luckily it was a pretty small town and there was one motel that they could pretty much pinpoint where she could be staying. The car ride was agonizingly quiet and Sam was forced to be stuck in his thoughts on how awful of a brother he’s been. He was too worried about killing Lilith while she was too busy trying to find a way to bring Dean back. He was fucking selfish and he should have been focused on his only living sibling left that was trying to bring back their other non living sibling. He decided to break the silence, “Dean I’m so fucking sorry, I screwed up man and I screwed up bad. I’ll never fucking forgive myself.” Dean scoffed, “Yeah you shouldn’t be able to forgive yourself Sam. She’s just a kid, I don’t understand how you could EVER leave her like that. She needed you the most and you left her. We don’t even know if she’s alive,” Dean gripped the steering wheel and pressed the gas harder thinking the worst possible scenario. He continued, “She found a way to bring me back and we know how that story ends Sam.” Sam filled to the brim with guilt, “I’ll fix everything, I promise Dean, I won’t let anything else happen to her.” The car went back to silence as both brothers continued to hope their baby sister was alright.

It was around 1am when they finally arrived at the motel. The engine roared as Dean turned the car off. They got out and hurried to the front desk. “Hi. how can I help you?” The man behind the desk asked. They both pulled out their FBI badges and stated who they were looking for. The guy pointed them to a room and they rushed to what they were hoping was Y/N’s room. She’s always been a light sleeper so when Dean started to pick the lock to her door, she immediately heard it. Her heart dropped and she grabbed her knife to give her a fighting chance against her intruders. She quickly glided across the motel room and put her back against the wall. It was pitch black, but she could make out two figures. One was much taller than the other, but they were both pretty big which made her gulp. There was no one way she could take on the both of them and she knew that. They picked the lock with ease and started to make their way into her room. They took a few steps in and that’s when Y/N charged at them. The taller one of the two immediately turned around and just before she could make contact with him, he grabbed her. She immediately dropped her knife as he pinned her wrist back and slammed her against the wall. She let out a yelp and braced her head for impact, but instead of feeling the hard wall against her head it was the palm of a hand. She was confused, but she still whimpered terrified. “Please,” she cried, “please don’t hurt me.” As she pleaded, the light to the motel room flicked on and she was finally able to make out the person in front of her. “Hey hey it’s alright,” it was Sam. “Sammy,” she whimpered. Still clearly dazed, confused, and frightened. Sam loosened his grip on his sister and wrapped his large arms around her small frame, “Yeah, hey shhhh bug I got you. I’m so sorry. I’m so so sorry.” She cried, flinging her arms around him and holding him tight like he could disappear at any moment. To be fair, he could disappear at any moment and he did. They stayed like that for a few moments before rage took over her. She pulled away, crying and started hitting him. “How could you Sam,” she cried. Slapping his chest and hitting him over and over again, “How could you fucking leave me. I-I needed you Sam. I needed you and you left me,” she sobbed. She was weak with exhaustion, but Sam let her hit him because he deserved every single blow even if it barely hurt him.

Dean stood back watching his little sister. He was taken aback by how fragile she looked. She definitely lost weight as she was much skinnier. He noticed dark heavy bags under her eyes like she had been crying every single day for months straight. He couldn’t take it anymore, his sister was clearly suffering and he wasn’t around to help her. In fact, no one was around to help her. He couldn’t watch her crumble any longer so he came up behind her and embraced her. He pinned her frailing arms down with his and held her in a tight hug from behind. She fought against him, crying when Dean calmly spoke, “Hey hey hey Y/N/N I’m going to need you to relax for me alright?” She stood frozen, “De?” “Yeah, I got you sweetheart, I got you. I’m so sorry,” He released his hold as she turned around and launched herself onto him. Dean wrapped his arms around her and she gripped onto Deans shirt for dear life. She whimpered, “De I was so scared.” Dean felt his heart drop even further, “I know kid, I know. Shhhh it’s okay, I’m here. I got you.” Dean tightened his grip on her and rested his clenched jaw on her head shooting Sam a look. Sam watched them both, feeling sick to his stomach. How could he have done this to his baby sister? This is no life for a kid. He knew that too and that’s why the pit in his stomach only grew bigger. A sob interrupted Sam’s thoughts as Y/N’s emotions began to escalate. He watched as she collapsed, falling into their older brothers arms. Dean quickly sunk to the floor with her as her breathing hitched. He could feel her heart hammering against her rib cage and knew he needed to get her out of her panicked state before she passed out. “Hey hey hey hey Y/N/N breathe for me sweetheart, breathe.” She felt her chest start to tighten which frightened her even more. Her breathing was erratic at this point and she dug her finger tips into deans arms. “Hey kid, you’re having a panic attack okay? It’s alright. I’ve got you. You’re safe okay?” She nodded still trembling, still gasping. He repositioned her so she was sitting in between his legs with her back pressed against him to feel the rise and fall of his chest. “I need you to breathe with me. Can you do that sweetheart?” Dean felt her nod and continued “Yeah? Okay. We’re going to breathe out for 10. Come on bug 10…9…8…7…” She matched Dean’s breath which ended up hitching on 7. Dean reached down to rub her arms, “Keep going kid. You got it. 3…2…1…” He walked her through breathing in and out a few more times until he felt satisfied enough to where he knew she wouldn’t pass out. He sighed in relief, wrapping his arms around her and resting his chin on her head, “That’s it sweetheart, I got you.” He could still feel her heart pounding though so he pulled her onto his lap like he did when she was a child and ran his fingers through her hair. “It’s alright, I’m here now and I’m not leaving. You’re safe with me kiddo. I’ve got you.”

She sat on the floor with Dean for what felt like hours while he comforted her. Eventually Sam made his way over unable to see his baby sister hurt any longer. He sat down and brushed her hair away from her face, “I’m so sorry bug. You have every right to be upset with me. I let you down and I caused you so much pain. I just thought I was doing the right thing for all of us. If I could go back in time, I would change it. I’m so incredibly sorry for everything, but I’m here now and I’m not leaving you ever.” Sam let a few tears escape his eyes. Y/N reached to grab his hand, “I forgive you Sammy. I’m sorry for hitting you.” Sam chuckled. His baby sister was too nice for her own sake. “I deserved it,” he said. She shot her head back up and looked between her two brothers. “How did you get out?” She asked, not knowing if she really wanted to know the answer. She was scared that a crossroads demon finally took Sam up on his offer for his soul. Her heart rate picked up again while she waited for her brothers to give her an answer. “I don’t know how I got out. I thought it was either you or Sam who figured it out, but Sam didn’t,” he trailed off looking at her with worried eyes. She blinked, “No it wasn’t me. I tried Dean, I tried so hard to save you. I- I tried. I’m so sorry. I-I couldn’t figure it out.” Dean’s face softened, “Hey sweetheart it’s okay. Thank you, but I wish it wasn’t put on you in the first place. I would have never wanted this for you. I’m so sorry.” He could tell she was filled with so much guilt when she shouldn’t be. It crushed him and he rubbed her arm, “I’m here now.” Y/N had so many questions, but all she knew was that she was back with her brothers and that’s all that mattered to her. She was exhausted and eventually let the darkness flow over her. “Get some rest kid, we’ll be here when you wake up,” she heard Dean say. She could finally sleep peacefully knowing she had both of her brother back.

[fangsandfeels]

Me ranting about Veilguard villains because there are none

To be honest, the Evanuris make Corypheus look like superior. At least, in tragic department. Veilguard writing makes a superficial attempt at showing that the Evanuris used to be good, used to be admirable and that Elgar'naan is pissed at Solas for fucking up the world with his Veil.

However, I don't buy it. Because I don't see it. As much as I love reading in-game books, notes, and lore, it is usually a supplement to the behavior and actions of characters. Neither Elgar'naan or Ghilan'nain show or even hint at their former selves.

Corypheus, despite having rather foul attitude and goals, was relatable in the way how confused he was when he awoke. Why are the Deep Roads so empty? Where is the first acolyte? Why is everything so different? Even him demanding Hawke and the group drop on their knees and bow to him is part typical entitlement and part self-reassurance: if they bow, then not everything is that bad and the Empire is still here, he is still home.

It's no doubt that the change he woke up to terrified him. But he decided for himself that he has the power to fix everything and bring the Empire back - so he won't have to mourn it. After all, the seat of gods is empty, so he will take it. It all has to have happened for a reason. He had to be chosen for this. He didn't change for nothing.

Him, screaming for Dumat, asking gods to help them "if they ever existed" was the point when he finally started breaking and that fear started showing up again. Once again, despite him being a horrible person, his motivations and fears are understandable. Underneath his looks, he is still human.

But we never see this with Elgar'naan and Ghilan'nain. There isn't a glimpse of their former selves, even in a twisted way. They are Saturday morning cartoon villains through and through, so I have hard time buying their depth and finding their story tragic.

Now, since we're generally talking about villains, let's talk about Venatori.

First of all, I personally don't believe that "every bad person, no matter how bad they are, are still human and anyone can become like this". No, some people are just evil pieces of shit because they are pieces of shit and because the world actually gives them lenience and ass-kissing instead of punishing them. Many people do horrible things because they choose to, while others twiddle their thumbs and mince words and try to make up excuses for them.

So, it's not really a wild concept that Tevinter became a breeding ground for depraved and power-hungry supremacists because they are allowed to be like that. They know that no punishment is coming: the Chantry can't do shit and no other country, except for Par Vollen has the guts for a military confrontation.

However, the game doesn't commit to this depravity. Moreover, it doesn't try to show that what makes Tevinter scary is the veneer of civility that hides its real face.

Danarius was hated for what he did to Fenris. But at the same time, he wasn't the guy who kicked puppies and sat on people during his screentime.

He actually gave Varania freedom as he promised. And it's quite likely, he would have made Varania an apprentice in exchange for her helping him lure out Fenris. No, that didn't make him a good man or a kind man, he still was a piece of shit. A piece of shit who enjoyed having power over people.

It tickled his ego to know that he didn't have to order that elf girl to sell her brother out - he just put a delicious bone in front of her and she went for it. He could grant his slaves freedom because he knew they would never be truly free - the world beyond Tevinter won't have them and in Tevinter they would still cling to him and follow his word, no blood magic or formal slavery required. He knew how to toy with that. This is why Fenris becomes so broken and follows Danarius without a fight if Hawke decides to betray him - because at that moment, it feels like Danarius always wins. Everything is always in his favor and Fenris no longer has any strength to fight that devastating thought. This is what makes Danarius so horrible and easy-to-hate (and also very realistic).

Rezaren from Dragon Age: Absolution was given a sympathetic background: he was a child isolated by his overly controlling helicopter mom, with only two other elven kids to play and be friends with. He got super attached to them and when his Harrowing went wrong and one of his elf friends killed her brother and his mother, he told her to run instead of letting the guard catch and execute her. That creates a hopeful premise, but then we see that his fondness of Miriam and Neb got contaminated with entitlement. Despite his attachments, Rezaren is still product of the Tevinter society.

He was told by his mother how great he was, he was told by his surroundings that it's his gods' given right as a mage to rule over others. At the same time, he never got rid of that feeling of loneliness and isolation that was further exacerbated by the fact that Tevinter magisters have to constantly watch out for their rivals' scheming. To him, Miriam and Neb were his safe company - the only ones he thought he never had to worry about. And he wanted that safety back. Even if there had been some selflessness in him, it disappeared after years of his life as a magister.

So, in his mind, he can't accept that Miriam didn't have a happy childhood, that it's not alright to drag around her brother's husk and force his spirit back into his body. He ignores and waves off everything Miriam says about how his mother treated her because it's uncomfortable truth and he doesn't want to deal with it. Why does it matter after all, he can make it all better and she would definitely forget about that rubbish.

Even though he is a grown man, he still a child throwing a tantrum because his pets started biting him. He never gained the maturity to understand why it happened and he never respected Miriam and Neb enough to see things from their perspective. He could have become a better version for himself if he wasn't left in Tevinter's care. But he didn't because he fully embraced magister's lifestyle and the idea that power allows you to get away with anything - people will have no choice but to accept you and your actions. He is pitiable and despicable at the same time.

Does Veilguard take anything from these depictions? No.

I just can see Veilguard writers pointing at this in glee: "See? See?! These are slaves in Tevinter! And Venatori are using them to sit on them! See how evil they are! Eviiiil! Never tell us we're bad at this!"

(Remember how Venatori used to kill the Tranquil and make Occularum from their skulls? Pepperidge Farm remembers)

Also, what is this? What kind of a mating bird dance is that? Are they drunk?

The gathering was meant to look sinister and unsettling, showing how unhinged can a group of people get when they believe they're on the precipice of godhood.

Want to know what real imperialistic ambitions look like?

When you realize that these people view the rest of the world like it belongs to them already and casually discuss it.

You pass by a noble Venatori Tevinter couple excitedly talking about adding Orlesians to their slave collection and waxing poetics on the irony of that situation, salivating at the prospect of breaking them and watching them adjust to the new reality.

You hear one of the Venatori Tevinter Altus discussing that she plans to move in one of those castles in Ferelden for some change of scenery, she always found the exotic landscapes of this savage land attractive and saw a potential in training their famed hounds to hunt runaway slaves.

You witness a Tevinter "scholar" ranting about finally getting to remove all these historical fakes about so-called Tevinter war crimes and re-educating Dalish on their true purpose and history, excitedly talking about how it was actually Tevinter Empire that tried to educate these savages, only for them to ruin some of the artifacts and distort knowledge. An elven slave stands next to him, their vallaslin burned off their face, nodding silently whenever he demands confirmation, with scholar contentedly noting that there are still "adequate ones".

You overhear one of the Tevinter nobles musing about getting an Antivan concubine and fantasizing about how passionate she will be, especially with proper motivation. His peers laugh at his words like he said something very witty, and remind him to get one from a the soon-to-be-former Circle.

You bypass groups conversing on how it's should be forbidden for ex-Circle magi to join the high society of the new Emperium. They have been obedient good slaves to their Chantry masters for so long, it would be a shame to make them break the habit. They will have to work hard to be acknowledged.

You hear some Tevinter noblewoman unashamedly talking about her Qunari kink because after Tevinter ascends, Qunari slaves will become the new hot trend and she intends to make the most of it.

You come across the drafts that contain the list of names - people in Ferelden, Antiva, Anderfells, and other region who need to be detained and exterminated upon the Tevinter's arrival, so they won't be able to sow the seeds of resistance.

You see one of younger Altus standing next to a pile of corpses and getting berated by their colleague for using up all the stock on honing their blood magic technique, while they just shrug and say "So what? We'll have a lot more soon, don't be greedy"

You find documents that indicate Tevinter is growing bold enough to plan to invade Orzammar and just turn all the dwarves into enslaved lyrium miners.

You watch a bunch of Tevinter nobles toasting to the imminent return ("liberation") of Kirkwall and Starkhaven.

You see the maps of Thedas, redrawn, with most of the territory already marked as the property of Tevinter, part of the empire.

I'm sure that a better storyteller worth their money can paint a lot more depraved picture, but you get the gist.

What we see in Veilguard is a bunch of rebellious magister kids getting out for a party and going all like "Yeah! We can do what we want! Let's sit on our slaves! My mom never allowed me to sit on slaves at home, said it was uncouth or something. Fuck you, mom!"

It's as if the writers were too afraid to dig deeper or look at some real-life examples for inspiration.

[sirwadewilsonfromimgur]

Deadpool and Wolverine KCAU Christmas Special

Part 2

Authors note: This part of the story has been broken up into chapters to make it an easier read and more manageable for me... fair warning, this is 2065. It's an adult Dr. James Wilson story which as you may or may not know, unless you've read my other stuff, is a Marvel and House MD crosover-vers... So come play with me in my sandbox.

New Jersey Earth-10005

Christmas time 2065

Chapter 1

It was the week before Christmas, Princeton-Plainsboro Hospital dosn't stop working for holidays. James was already having a shit day as he walked in to his office... his friend Gregory house was behind his desk, likely waiting for him or hiding from someone. You never really knew... he was on the phone with someone.

I know right, its crazy how... oh, he just walked in.

Who are you on the phone with?

Your sister Ellie, fun gal. We were just discussing your high-school years. She called for you, but I was already here so I took the call for you...

God damn it! Give me the phone...

Hello.

Hello James, your friend Greg is hilarious, I hope no one ever pays me to kill him...

Why do you always say creepy shit like that, Ellie. Can't anyone in this damn family have a normal phone conversation?

Oh, we sound a little testy today. I'll cut to the chaise... Dad wants all of us home for Christmas this year. Including you and Laura. He wants to do a whole thing... your presence... is not optional thos year. I'll see you on Monday.

Ellie thats fucking ridiculous.

I am busy. People don't stop getting sick just because it's December. I'm a doctor. i can't just take a week off without notice... I know that's a hard concept since you decided to make it your vocation to put people in hospitals or worse.

Or worse cost extra, but that's besides the point...We all make choices, little brother.

The question is, are you prepared to deal with the consequences...

You can get in the jet dad will 100% send on Monday, fly home for the week willingly

Or....

Deal with Laura when she comes to collect you along with her entourage of Xmen... I'm sure the hospital staff will love that.

I don't think they're in the business of kidnapping doctors. Laura wouldn't do that even for dad.

Well, I would... and I'll bring all my favorite armed thugs to help... Or I suppose we could do christmas in New Jersey. As long as we're all together. Right?

Eleanor... you're a bitch.

Love you too, James... oh... and don't be surprised if dad hasn't already called that Cuddy Lady...

My Boss!

You know dad, I told him you'd tell me you're busy... so he was likely proactive. She is either terrified or the proud recipient of some large donation oooor "porque no los dos" as Laura would say.

James hung up the phone. He knew Ellie was serious, when Wade Wilson set his mind to it, he was focused and rarely didn't achieve his goals... a admirable trait. Until a gang of paramilitary goons show up to kidnap you so you don't miss traditional christmas eve lasagna.

-Cut to Wilson in Cuddys office-

He'd explained to her the situation... and she was well aware of the consequences. Wilson's relationship with his father was almost as crazy as his relationship with House...

She recalled a time before she was Dean of medicine. When Wade found out Wilson had received a mediocre review... he'd used his considerable influence and threats of violence to have the accreditation board threaten to pull certification from the hospital until it was remedied...

that's actually how she got the position. The previous dean was regularly harassed any time he felt Wilson was slighted, and finally, he couldn't take it anymore and retired early... to Wilsons credit, he had no idea this was going on until Cuddy took the job. the previous dean was probably threatened into silence on the subject, too...

Cuddy was never one to be bullied and had come clean with James about all of his father's antics shortly after taking the position. Wade Wilson was dangerous, but she'd be damned if she'd let a mercenary tell her how to run a hospital

Wilson quickly put a stop to this behavior and added that Cuddy was a friend knowing that bare minimum his dad would be less threatening to one of "Kittens" friends.

She agreed to give him the week off despite late notice and the myriad of other HR and staffing problems associated with being short a doctor on one condition... he had to take Greg with him... she didn't have the time or patience to Deal with the illustrious Dr House without Wilson to help her.

By the time he'd gotten back to his office house hadn't really moved much... sitting behind Wilson's desk playing on his phone...

Don't you have a patient or something to attend to?

Actually, no... none worth my time anyway... Forman and the cute australian one can handle what is obviously subclinical measles with a secondary flu infection... vaccinate your kids... idiots.

Well, since you're not busy, I guess you'd be ok leaving early with me and packing for a trip... I'd like you to come to Kansas city with me for Christmas...

Kinda short notice to book a flight. he said suspiciously

it'll be a direct flight, Private... no TSA and probably a bottle of Dom Pérignon. he said this in a tone of playful temptation.

I thought you were Jewish?

On paper I am... I converted for Bonnie when we got married, House... you were there at the wedding... I told you this.

like I keep track of your current brand of imaginary friend that closely... I do remember that marriage ending because despite converting to Judaism, you couldn't get a grasp on the Seventh Commandment in particular

Ok, ouch.

That leads me to my next question. What makes you think I want to go with you to your weird families christmas?

Because if you don't... unless you get an interesting case soon, Cuddy said you'd be scheduled 12 hour shifts in the clinic every day next week.

Damn it...

I suppose I will go with you to the middle of bum fuck and flyover and enjoy a country christmas on the ranch with you... not like I have a choice, besides I've never really had the chance to get to know your parents. I drank so much at the last wedding. The only thing I remember of them is one of them wore a red mask... and the other looked like an angry Calvin Kline model.

Kansas City is an actual metropolitan. My parents live in a high rise, not on a ranch... and dad... can be kind of shy in large groups of people he doesn't know.

Well, since im not allowed to be unsupervised, there are worse places to be in December... like the clinic, holiday ailments are the worst. At least one person has an ornament shoved up their ass... But it beats the hell out of spending the holidays with my parents. You're lucky, really. My dad was a Marine constantly moving... or abandoning me with my grandmother.

Oh, are we playing this game? I was raised by a mentally unstable warlord with a gun fetish and his Victorian era husband the worlds grummpiest teddy bear who has knives in his hands and PTSD from the American Civil War.... and a grandmother who did more drugs than every member of the Rolling stones combined, and she liked to tell me wildly inappropriate stories... usually about my dad's banging, or how she was a sultry honey pot when she worked for MI6.

well, my grandmother beat me..

Jesus fine, you win.

on that note, Johns Hopkins didn't exactly have a good mutant biology program... if they're both genetically you parents shouldn't you *waves his hands in the air making mock magical gestures* have some power

I'm pretty sure my mutant ability is loving and tolerating reprobates and assholes.

It takes one to know one, James...

Our story ends here for now... the boys go home and pack for a week in Kansas City.

Wade had indeed arranged for a car to pick them up and take them to a private air strip where a Gulfstream G700 was waiting for them

Fancy!

Trust me, it gets old quick.

Link to Chapter 3

Silly photo shop for fun.

[bestworstcase]

I think it'll be interesting when RWBYJ tells everyone about the ever after, specifically Oscar/Ozpin. I think that'll be a hell of a slap in the face to those two. Imo it's pretty clear that Oz doesn't like the Brothers (his lie for his curse literally puts them in the WORST light to anyone who hears it), but isn't exactly open about it nor does he think on it much. But hearing that the 'gods' are essentially just people who got kicked out of their home would make him. Well I hesitate to say that he'd flip the fuck out, but I definitely think he wouldn't be happy at ALL. I'm sure he'd be furious while simultaneously having an existential crisis.

Frankly, Oz is just. An interesting character when it comes to his thoughts on the Brothers. He went from more or less listening to Light without question (but immediately started questioning when Salem talked to him- "Unsure of where his loyalties still lay-" he trusts Salems words but is confused about his stance on Light, perhaps afraid of questioning him), to putting them in a bad light repeatedly and more or less giving up on his task (there's far far easier ways to unite the world i.e. war- why would he deliberately make it hard on himself? He's far from stupid. He still foes his best to foster peace because why wouldn't he?). And, now, he's actively fighting his curse, and is doing so the second he got an ounce of hope.

I think why he hasn't really thought of fighting the Gods is bc a) he's still scared of them (and it makes sense, I'd be scared too) and b) he never knew that they, well, were just people. I think he'd need some convincing, but I really think he'd be happy to try his hand at giving Light a piece of his mind lol. Something tells me Oz has millennia of bottled up anger- something will eventually be the straw that broke the camels back, as even the most resilient of people can break.

Though I think the biggest issue would be the idea of teaming up with Salem. He's bitter and terrified of her, and although we don't know exactly what's happened between them since their first fight (beyond Oz spending several lives as an alcoholic, then wandering Remnant being reminded of Salem (not necessarily bc he thought every Grimm attack was her, Grimm just remind him of her)), it's entirely possible Salem has also done... something to hurt him. No one's that bitter or terrified of someone for absolutely no reason, but whatever the reason is, that'll definitely be an obstacle between him being allied with her against the Gods. Plus she also, yknow, tortured him and allowed Hazel to torture him (which Oscar took most of it, but they're in the same body).

I think that interaction would be... interesting. Especially since I really don't think Oz even is 'Ozma' anymore. Ozma is the foundations yes, but the merge changes you fundamentally. He has changed his name every lifetime (if Oz doesn't accidentally answer to the name Oscar I'll eat my left shoe), but how much of him really is Ozma anymore? Ship of theseus and all that. If he, by all accounts, isn't 'Ozma' anymore and Salem isn't aware of this, I think it'd be an interesting revelation for her. There's similarities between Oz and how he used to be, but I feel like 'Ozma' is functionally a deadname for him (Oz trans/DID allegory? /j). Especially since I think Ozma is just- not who he is anymore. He's tried living up to the name, but he can't and he knows it (the words his illusion in v9 says speaks a lot to his mental state and his opinion of himself).

God speaking of his illusion on v9, I think it's incredibly clear that what each illusion says pertains to that character in some way. And it says so so much about Ozpin and how he sees himself. It's ironic how the God of Light, associated with creation, made him, yet he thinks that all he does is destroy. He's scarily good at splitting people apart just accidentally (i.e. v6, Summer basically throwing him under the bus thus STRQ broke apart and blamed him, etc) too. Yet Salem, immortal via Lights curse, made herself through Grimm and is very good at rallying people. Dunno, fun thought there (it's why swap aus are so damn tasty with these two).

Sorry for the long ask, I just wanted to ramble in your inbox for a bit. I have many thoughts about Oz.

not. to be snarky but

To live free or die, it’s all the same The enemy was right, there’s no reclaiming In waves of shame We’re desperate to make amends But through a simple soul we lie complacent  Love brings us dreams But grief makes the heart burst at the seams  As light fills my eyes I’ll picture me beside her And pray that I’ll inspire  I promise I’ll be here until the end I promise I’ll be here until… Our story has been told Til our bodies break down every door Til we find what we’ve been looking for

terrified she’ll never forgive him and terrified of what will happen if she confronts the gods again, yes. but terrified of her?

the enemy was right. we’re desperate to make amends. grief makes the heart burst at the seams. i’ll picture me beside her. ozma isn’t terrified of salem; he is, explicitly, ashamed of himself and desperate to make amends and longing for her.

listen. you don’t have to go salem did dot dot dot something to hurt him. we KNOW exactly what she did; rejected the mandate, fought him, burned him alive. they blew up their home and killed their own kids. is this insufficiently traumatizing to explain him.

similarly i do not have to go ozma did dot dot dot something to salem: we know exactly what he did. we know why she’s furious and bitter and still hurting. it is not ambiguous.

he’s spent the intervening centuries hiding inside a narrative where salem is the Great Evil he must defeat because the guilt he feels for deceiving and manipulating her and the grief for everything he sacrificed is so unbearable that he can’t touch it except through layers and layers of distortion. but it’s bleeding through the cracks everywhere. the infinite man tried to be a hero and is a fool who may not be worthy of forgiveness, ozpin suggests. look far enough ahead from the ending of the girl in the tower, and you’ll find the hero who saved her turned out to be a villain.

he hates salem. (he deserves her hatred.) this is the wrenching internal war he fights with himself day after day and life after life; the only way he can live with himself enough to function is by hating her, but the hatred is a fiction, a lie, to protect him from his fear. the truth is that he neither hates her nor deserves her hatred.

i am being intentional about calling him ozma, by the way. i am also intentional about when i call him ozpin or oz. i do not think ozma is a deadname. i don’t think ozma is an ideal he is trying and failing to live up to. he doesn’t identify himself as ozpin; he says “the professor ozpin you all met was not my first form.” he dons these other identities as a mask—i am the combination of countless men who have spent their lives trying to protect the people of remnant—because he hates himself. ozma is who he’s running away from because he doesn’t think ozma has ever been enough.

that is why. salem distinguishes between ozpin and ozma the way that she does. and why she is able to differentiate between oscar and ozma even when oscar is mimicking ozpin, because ozpin is the latest in a long series of masks that ozma wears.

(ozpin is tippetarius enforcing his own exile, and thus he became the wizard. ozma is the true self imprisoned by the curse. he’s… named ozma for a reason.)

”what if you could be anyone?” <- the blacksmith does not ask ruby this question because ruby needs to stop being herself in order to be happy. she offers ruby a metaphorical representation of ozma’s curse—what if you could be anyone, slip into a like-minded soul and become that person—in order to guide ruby to the realization that only her true self is the right fit. this is what i like to call blunt force foreshadowing.

ozma is trying to be a thousand different heroes and salem has only ever wanted ozma. ozma then is not the same person as ozma now, but ozma is ozma is ozma. the ship of theseus is the ship of theseus, then as now. on those who enter the same rivers, ever different waters flow. read heraclitus.

the thing is. yeah. he’s going to snap like a brittle twig when he learns the truth about the gods… because he already knows salem is right, deep down. the enemy is right. it bleeds through even into the lost fable, which is narrated in his voice. jinn’s telling—his telling—obfuscates and twists away from salem’s interiority, her feelings, her motives except for the moment of her realization about the brothers: perhaps the gods were not as powerful as they seemed; she had lied to them, turned them against each other; they were fallible.

the enemy is right. he knows she’s right.

hearing what the kids learned in the ever after is going to shatter the cognitive dissonance preventing him from acting on that knowledge. it’s going to surface ‘until the end’ but now joined to the hope he has—since the end of v8—that he can make amends for his cowardice and lies.

ozma apologizing to the kids and asking for a second chance to earn their trust was, uh, a practice run for ozma apologizing to salem and asking for a second chance. the fallout of the lost fable (“there was so much you hadn’t told us! how could you think that was okay!” and “i gave my life to you because you gave me a place in this world; i thought i was finally doing some good!”) is a reflection of salem’s distress. the narrative is on her side. because. he lied to manipulate her and grievously betrayed her trust. in exactly the same way he did to the kids.

[hheartsdramas]

I guess this tumblr is just me documenting my live reactions as I watch dramas, here’s inside my head while watching the last 4 episodes of Blossom:

Ep 31

is her dad the biggest idiot on this show or a secret scheming mastermind?

ugh I thought we were shot of Lady Wei when her brother died

and why did Ji Yong have to go evil?? naughty boy and not in the fun way *shakes finger at Ji Yong*

the emperor sucks, I can’t wait for him to die

I don’t know what to think of Ji Yong anymore. like he’s keeping Dou Zhao safe but the way things have gone I can’t put it past him to let Song Mo die

this episode made me so angry, I want to smack so many smirks off of so many faces

Ep 32

Dou Zhao’s dad’s backbone always grows only when its way too late to really matter

I literally squealed “PUPPY!” because I am a cliche

oh god whatever this substance is I hope Song Mo can hold onto his sanity and stab Evil Eunuch Guy in the face

do you think spitting blood is written into every studio contract? what happens if an actor or director wants to try conveying illness/injury some other way?

this dream sequence!!!!

grandma’s back! girl where have you been shit’s been going down and could use a little matriarch smack down energy

did anyone else notice that the moon isn’t magically full in this episode? doesn’t actually matter to anything but it makes me laugh to notice what the moon does in cdramas

are they trying to make uncle out to be a good guy? a double agent of some sort? I don’t understand and I don’t buy it. he’s horrible and deserved a much shittier death

honestly this version of house arrest looks divine

Ep 33

I’m glad An Su has finally started recognizing that the flags are RED red but I fear t won’t end well for her

why do poisoned emperors always put things together when they’re about to die and not, like, the one of the first five times their wives smile evilly at them?

ohhhhhh okay so empress does have a backstory and now I totally support women’s wrongs. kill that rotten man!

this idiot emperor I—

how do you make taking medicine romantic? well you make one of them dying and delirious and the other trying to save them by doing mouth-to-mouth delivery of the medicine. like with a baby bird.

I’ve decided the white hair is hot, but it’s more that he’s hotter the less put together he looks. cuz this “I’ve been delirious but got tumbled by my wife” look with all the tendrils is a good one

there have been so many tertiary dude characters in this show I don’t even remember who this Gu Yu is or why he cares about Song Mo or why he’s easily convinced to commit treason

wait! Dou Zhao what are you doing there, this is so obviously a trap I can’t even

well this was obviously a trap, I shouldn’t have doubted…or should I have? oh no, I shouldn’t have

except that’s a lot of soldiers

FINALLY someone stabbed Evil Eunuch Guy!!!

are Song Mo’s soldiers wielding…trees? what am I looking at?

okay folks final episode!!!

so Ji Yong didn’t go evil? phew that’s a relief

damn that acupuncture point must really be something else

“kindly return” in Dou Zhao’s letter to the crown prince is honestly peak comedy

I’m sorry did you see that man duck because he somehow KNEW his wife was about to save his ass? destined for sure

Song Mo that punishment is DIABOLICAL my jaw DROPPED

“do you really want to leave me?” sir you are old and an idiot and his wife is beautiful and puts out. it’s really no contest

OH FUCK YEAH AN SU!! (I guess this is supposed to be emotional but honestly I feel bad exactly zero amount)

the emperor gave him the antidote? wait ARE YOU TELLING ME THAT AWFUL MAN HAD THE CURE THE WHOLE TIME

ohhhhhhhh. *grumble* I still don’t like him

I’m honestly surprised that we weren’t all terrified when we found out Dou Zhao was pregnant because with genes like that any child would be an absolute terror (affectionate)

personal headcanon: An Su and Official Su are girlfriends. (took til the last episode to find a decent sapphic ship but I’ll take it)

and they all live happily ever after yayyyyyyyy

I had a great time with this drama! Nothing spectacular or awe-inspiring, but highly entertaining and beautiful to look at with a satisfying ending, plus a well-matched, drama-free main couple. I’m glad MZY and LYR are getting their due for it!

[howlingday]

Immortal

"Drinking again, Qrow?"

"Leave me alone, your highness!" Jaune wiped the spit that flew as Qrow mocked him.

The recent revelation of, well, everything, didn't sit well with anyone. Least of all the people who have been fighting the longest. Salem's existence was only made worse by the revelation that not even the god of death could take her. And like so many others before him, Qrow took to his drink like a dehydrated man took to water.

"Ruby's worried about you." Jaune offered.

"Who cares?!" He swatted away, only to fall over in his stupor. As he rolled over, Jaune took out his lien and set it on the counter. Once Qrow was to his feet, the tab had been paid, but it was a lengthy conversation. "Hand over my drink."

Jaune took the bottle in hand and looked him over. Would a little more alcohol hurt a man who was already stupid drunk? He already knew the answer, so he swigged it back for himself. The brown firewater burned his throat, and Jaune had to cough through a fit after forcing it down he wasn't much for the stuff, and tonight was a great reminder.

"Let's go back." Jaune took Qrow's arm, but was pushed away.

"Fuck you!" He pointed a finger at his face. "Years of my life wasted fighting a war that can't be won!"

"Your life is only a waste if you spend it here, getting drunk off your ass and making yourself vulnerable."

"Hmph..." Qrow scowled. "Never heard you be so chatty before. God or whatever you are."

"Think of it as the booze talking." He took Qrow by the arm and moved. "Now let's get you home before you hurt yourself."

"Hurt myself? Pfft!" Qrow shoved Jaune, but he held his grip. "What would a god know about pain?"

Jaune was quiet for a moment, but when he stopped and let out a sigh, Qrow felt the world get colder. He looked down to see Jaune's hand was became pale, and all the world around them was dark. Silent. The only thing he could see and hear, both clear as day, was Jaune.

"Do you know what immortality means, Qrow?" Jaune asked. "What it truly means?" Not waiting for an answer, he continued. "Immortality means that I, and only I, cannot die. Do you want to guess how many lives I've seen ended? How many souls passed with a smile on their face? How few of those come along? I tried to make friends with the mortals a few times before, but they always end the same. In a black hall, before a black throne, speaking to the black lord. And only half of them are happy to see me."

Jaune's eyes pierced Qrow's. "And those happy few are the ones I most cherish, because it means I brought joy to their lives; joy that YOU bring to RUBY's life. She loves you so much, it makes me ache because I can never know a love like hers or any others. Not because of any arbitrary rule imposed by the Brothers who abandoned us, but because I am terrified of knowing that love is real, only to watch it drift out of my fingers."

"So don't think I don't know about pain." Jaune's face paled and withered until only a skull remained, and his words chilled Qrow to his core. "All I know is PAIN."

"Hi, Uncle Qrow!"

Qrow whirled around, finding himself at the door once again. His niecegreeted him, and him alone. H e felt a stirring pain in his head. "Where's god-boy?"

"Jaune?" Ruby asked. "He's been in his room all night. Why?"

Qrow shook his head and made his way inside. "No reason."

"Are you okay? You seem... weird."

"Yeah, I'm fine." He said before sitting back in the big, comfy chair. "Just had a little too much to drink."

"Oh." Ruby's face fell. She shut the door, and hesitated to turn.

"Not as much as usual, though." Qrow said. "I'm... I'm trying to cut back. For real this time."

"Really?" Ruby said, looking at him with a glimmer in her eyes.

"Yeah." He chuckled. "Wouldn't want you to drag me home every night. It gets dangerous out there."

"I can take it!" Ruby clasped her bicep as she threw a hook in the air.

"Yeah, yeah, I know." Ruby walked to the stairs. "Hey, Squirt?"

"Yeah, Uncle Qrow?" Ruby replied.

"I love you."

"I love you, too." Ruby smiled warmly. It was all Qrow needed for the rest of the night.

[ladysomething]

maddie, you're a freak. but a good one. as in those geniuses that were called freaks for being so so good kinda freak

1. look, I'm sad. of course. but I'm also relieved? I ended up being correct- to some extent (btw so did you. I did crashed over my bf, although it was before we broke up. that how we met. what a mistake. I should've pressed the gas harder) and now I happen to be traumatized over Max’s dream world, but that also means I know how his dream world is like! and. heaven, I'd unalive myself if I had to live that shit every. fucking. night. you're evil.

2. wygig kelly is my icon. queen. love her. P also. I'll also build her something. maybe a statue. btw do we ever learn who the fuck was the asshole that dared hurt her? or is it just... someone random. there are a lot of assholes walking around those streets. and also, the foreshadowing of something bad happening because you pretty much said "what's the worst this that can happen?" wants me to rip my hair out. buuut. I've decided to be positive for once because if Max is not going to be it, I will. they will speak and Kelly and P will be safe and Charles will understand. done. I'm a seer of future.

3. Max is an idiot, though I think we already knew that. but he's also an idiot who has a backstory- and a good one at that. poor little maxie never learned to control or deal or even understand his feelings. I want to push him into a bed and wrap him up with soft blankets and give him a sedative for horses and then read him the beauty and the beast and then give him a forehead kiss and then wish him good night. not in that order probably. the tale should come. before the sedative.

4. Sophie deserves every little good thing that there is in that fucked up world. I, also, wish to hug her. the diabetes my dad inherited me rushed to my blood about 15 years earlier with her. I love her. and Max being the mama's boy he rightfully is healed me.

5. can I repeat the procedure I already I carried out with my ex, but this time with Charles? I promise I'll try my best at being gentle, I know he's suffered as well. what. do. you. mean. he's not left Max's room. wHAT. WHAT.

6. +1. jos verstappen they will never make me like you. the only useful thing you've done ever in your life, was creating Max and Victoria. only that.

7. +2. my brother says that, I quote, he has already forgiven you for making him sad. that he begs you to never leave him with a cliffhanger like that again. (I tried to explain that's not how it works and that he has to be patient because you shall not be overworked in my sight.) then he apologized saying that's not what he meant and asked if you're doing good great nice. and that poor Max. and then poor Maddie. he says that he could've never kept such a plot twist to himself for so long. my roomie says that you're a freak as well. he means it good, too. and we all three wish you a (early) happy birthday hun! 😘 enjoy it.

I cannot finish without saying, I loved the chapter. you're a freak* ❤️

(*see the top paragraph for definition)

I FUCKING KNEW IT. GOD I'M GOOD.

we do of course learn who hurt Kelly. in fact, that information will be coming sooner than you think ..

truly max does need someone to calmly and gently explain to him how emotions work, and how he needs to channel them constructively rather than just be terrified that something bad will happen to anyone he cares about. I'm sure Max would argue that buying Charles and lying to him to keep him safe IS a constructive use of his emotions but. you know. there's a reason I'm the author and he's the idiot.

god I LOVE Sophie. the way she's had like two lines and I would die for her ...

CHARLES IS ALSO GOING THROUGH IT OK. he's also just a little traumatised pookie 😭

+1. when I was in Monaco, I saw the actual Jos Verstappen across the track. when I tell you I was sending him extreme glares even though he couldn't see them ... hopefully he picked up on my bad vibes though

+2. tell your bro that I was STRUGGLING. but also that there are several plot twists coming up that have been way harder to keep a secret, and that I still struggle with holding in. soooo. also the three of you teaming up to call me a freak .......... us all having a party when

[ourloveisforthelovely]

Black Heart Part 3

Regulus Black AU

Request: Will you write a Regulus x Reader fic where Regulus is older than the reader? She comes to help the Order and Regulus falls in love with her. The relationship isn't easy because of the war and Regulus' denial that he would be a good boyfriend.

Summary: Admitting that he was in love had never been something that Regulus wanted to do. Now that you were in his life, Regulus didn't know how to react. Should he love you or push you away just like he had everyone else?

Pairings: Regulus Black x Reader

Link to Part 2 

______

Walking into the hospital Regulus was still muttering about how he was fucking idiot. Finally, after a few minutes, Sirius turned to his younger brother.

“Mate, are you talking to me or yourself?”

Regulus gave him a cold glare.

“It doesn’t matter because I am a god, damned idiot. Sirius, this is why I have never dated anyone. I am absolute trash at being a boyfriend. That’s why it's been one-night stands for me. Fuck, that has finally caught up with me.”

Sirius raised an eyebrow.

“I thought you dated that Pandora chick?”

Regulus groaned. He DID NOT want to even think of his failed relationship at 15. Regulus tried to not consider the 4-month relationship an actual “relationship” but it was.

“I did but that was my fault too. I pushed her away, just as I do everyone else.”

Sirius stopped walking and grabbed Regulus by the shoulders.

“Look at me, this isn’t some failed teenage romance with Y/n. This is big. She’s having your child. Y/n is going to need you. If you are just going to push her away then maybe you need to talk to her about terminating the pregnancy. It will be her choice regardless but it would be better to have that option than be stuck raising a child with a father that doesn’t care.”

When Regulus’ face went ice cold, Sirius knew that his secret evil plan worked. Sirius knew that if his words triggered Regulus in some way then his brother actually cared for you and by extension the baby.

“I never said that I didn’t care. I am just having a fucking breakdown from hell. I need a cigarette…god damn it.”

Sirius chuckled.

“You are going to have to clean up your mouth and stop smoking. That won’t be healthy for Y/n or the baby…let alone you. I care about your lungs after all.”

Regulus glared at Sirius before starting to walk again.

“You’re the one that got me started, asshat.”

Regulus was about to congratulate himself for finishing a sentence without cursing but stopped himself before internally groaning. Sirius was right. He did need to clean up his act if he hoped to ever be a decent father. A father…Regulus was terrified by that thought. He knew absolutely nothing about being a father. Orion was NO pristine example of what a father should be. He had never wanted Regulus in the first place and never made any effort to stop Regulus from believing that.

“Well, you have nine months to get your act together. I wonder where Y/n works in this place.”

“Emergency”

Regulus mumbled. Sirius motioned toward the emergency department. He knew exactly where you worked but was trying to keep Regulus talking. Sirius had hopes that asking questions about you would make Regulus see just how much he actually knew about you. He knew what Regulus felt for you was a lot stronger than just a friend with benefits things. It was no hidden secret to Sirius that Regulus could be a bit of a playboy too (even if he wouldn’t admit it). Maybe you would be the girl that would make Regulus clean up his act?

“Here’s the nurse's station. Maybe one of these people can track her down?”

Sirius suggested. Regulus didn’t say anything indicating to his brother that it would be he that would be speaking. Sirius internally chuckled at the thought of Regulus being the designated basket case that day.

An older nurse looked up when they stepped up to the desk.

“May I help you?”

Sirius smiled at the woman that was old enough to be his grandma.

“You just might. We’re looking for Dr. Y/n L/n. She’s expecting us.”

The older woman looked between Regulus and Sirius carefully. She recognized Regulus immediately. This was the man that you had shown her the picture of. This was the man that you were absolutely mad about.

“She’s in a room with a patient. If you’ll wait a moment, I’ll let her know that you're here.”

Sirius said a charming thank you before motioning Regulus to the waiting area. Regulus was a nervous wreck. While he appeared calm and collected on the outside, on the inside he felt like a stressed bird in a cage. All that he wanted was to find you and beg for forgiveness.

Sitting quietly, Regulus looked up and noticed all of the nurses at the station staring right at him.

“That doesn't make me nervous at all.”

He said. Sirius looked up and noticed the nurses too.

“Maybe they are just trying to place us?”

“Nah, they all know what the fuck I did. Look at them all, they are all probably muttering about what an ass I am.”

Sirius turned to his brother.

“Regulus, what did I tell you about being paranoid schizophrenic?

“I'm not joking! They are all looking at me like that is the bastard that knocked her up and broke her heart.”

Sirius rolled his eyes. He had seen Regulus lose his crap but this was a new level of crazy, even for him.

“Dude, take a fucking pill! Everything is going to work out! Y/n really cares for you. She actually cares for you, crazy and all…”

Regulus slammed his head back against the wall and tried to breathe. When he looked up again, you stepped out of a room followed by an older man with his arm in a cast and another man with a white lab coat. You hadn’t even noticed him as you walked the man toward the elevator.

“Do you know what we call motorcycles in the medical field?”

The man chuckled.

“I bet I’m going to find out.”

You placed a gentle hand on the man’s good arm.

“Donorcycles. If you’re going to ride, please be careful. We are meeting too frequently.”

The man grinned.

“Well, you’re pretty so there’s a benefit. Thanks for the help, again.”

You shook your head and turned to the doctor that was in the room with you. Regulus immediately hated the way the other man looked at you. Something about the look in his eyes screamed attraction and Regulus did not like it.

“That has got to be the best-looking man that I have ever seen.”

Sirius said, earning an elbow to the ribs from Regulus.

“Shut up!”

Regulus snapped as he looked back to the other man. As much as Regulus hated to admit it, the self-conscious side of himself came roaring back. This man had to have at least three inches on Regulus in addition to being built like a goddamn god. This had to be that Greek doctor that you had mentioned a few times. Regulus looked down at his own lean slim body and frowned. Why would you want someone like him when you could have the Greek dreamboat clearly begging for your attention?

When the other doctor put a hand on your arm, Regulus was ready to come out of his chair. Yeah, the other guy could probably kill him with one punch but Regulus knew enough dark magic to torture the other man into lunacy. Regulus also had no issues with the thought of causing said lunacy if it kept you safe and sound.

You said something to the other man before turning. The moment that your eyes met Regulus’ clearly displeased face, your mouth dropped. You did not expect Regulus to come to you.

I’ll be damned….

You thought before turning back to Dr. Xanthopoulos.

“Excuse me, Nicolas. I have to take care of something.”

You didn’t wait for him to respond before walking to where Regulus and Sirius sat. Regulus immediately stood up, brushing curls out of his face.

“Regulus…”

“I need to talk to you.”

He immediately cut whatever you were going to say off. As angry as you were for his less-than-stellar comments on the pregnancy, you could see that he was struggling. This made you stop any angry comments that could come forth. Regulus was still your friend…even if he didn’t want you or the baby-to-be and you would have to find some way to co-parent with him.

“I was about to leave. I just needed to check on a few patients. What are you doing here?”

Sirius held his hand up.

“That would be me. He was having a psychotic meltdown and I knew that only you would be able to fix it. Well, here you go. Good luck and god help us, everyone.”

Sirius turned and walked over muttering about going to find some chocolate pudding. You waited a moment before turning back to Regulus. The look on his face made your heartache. This expression was the lost boy who had been kicked around too many times, the young man who never was given what he needed, and most importantly the man that you wanted to give everything to. It didn’t matter how “clueless” he seemed to be in relationships or that he used to be a dark wizard… something in his eyes made you want to protect him. There was still an “innocent” part of Regulus that still existed; even if he didn’t know about them himself.

“I need to talk to you about earlier. Can we leave? This place gives me the creeps.”

Regulus commented, looking around the hospital lobby. You nodded.

“That’s fine. Where do you want to go?”

“Maybe back to my place? I would rather have some privacy.”

“That’s fine.”

You replied before following Regulus out. When you stepped outside, the wind had picked up and it was chilly. Regulus turned and looked at you a moment before taking his suit jacket off and wrapping it around your shoulders.

There are some points in his favor.

You thought with a smile as he stepped closer to you.

“I'm going to apparate us back. I don’t want you getting too cold.”

You didn’t fight as Regulus wrapped his arms around you. Wrapping your arms around his shoulders, you locked eyes with him. The two of you stared at each other for a moment before Regulus looked to the side.

“Hold on.”

When the world stopped spinning, you stood in Regulus’ room at Grimmauld Place. Regulus let go of you slowly before going to the door and making sure that it was locked.

“I don’t want my big-headed brother coming in here and being nosy.”

You decided that you would let Regulus start the conversation. After the way that he reacted to the news of the baby on the way, you were slightly afraid to bring the subject up again.

This is Regulus. You can talk to him.

The sensible side of your head said. Unfortunately, the weaker side…the side that had been traumatized as a child said differently.

He will just leave you. Everyone else has…why will Regulus be any different?

Regulus, meanwhile, stood watching you quietly. Normally, you would have been talking his ear off or trying to undress him.

“Look, I’m sorry about how I reacted. That definitely wasn’t one of my crowning moments…so how's it going?”

Regulus asked, his eyes locked on your stomach. You blinked a few times before scowling.

“Is that how you are going to address this the whole time that I’m pregnant?”

“I don’t know what to say! I’m trying here.”

Regulus snapped. He put a hand on his face while you glared at him.

“Well, it as in our baby is doing just fine…I suppose…I haven’t even been to a doctor yet but I suppose everything is fine. Regulus, if you don’t want to be involved, that’s fine. I’ll find a way to…”

Regulus held a hand up.

“No! Stop! Just fucking stop! Please…You haven't even given me a chance to properly talk this out with you. How are we going to even come to some kind of proper conclusion if you are just yelling at me?”

You stopped and took a breath. Regulus was right. You needed to cool your heels.

“You’re right. I’m sorry. I’m only giving you the option of having an out if you want one.”

Regulus ran a hand through his hair. An out…he didn’t want an out. There was no in hell that he wanted an out. He hated to sound horribly self-centered, but he was coming around to the idea of you being pregnant. If you were pregnant by him, that would keep other men at bay.

The side of himself that Regulus didn’t even know…a side that never was let out of the box very often was happy. For once, Regulus was going to have someone that was his and his alone. He would have someone to come home to and someone to love. When the baby was born, he would have a child of his own to spoil and a family that no one could break up.

“I don’t want an out.”

Regulus replied. He moved to stand in front of you. Taking your hands in his, he looked down at your body carefully. While you still clearly didn’t look pregnant, it would only be a matter of time before you would begin showing.

A sense of dread of sheer terror instantly began to flow through Regulus’ body. You were pregnant. You were having his baby and there was a bloody war going on! Regulus immediately began to feel sick at the realization of the plight ahead was like a brick to the stomach. You were having his baby and he was a former dark wizard. While Regulus didn’t care about himself, he worried about you and the baby. He would worry anytime that you were away from him…

I have to do something.

“ I don’t want an out, Y/n. I want to be with you…. it's just…I’m too old for you, too dangerous…I don’t understand what you see in me.”

When your arms wrapped around his neck, Regulus’ grey eyes peered down into yours. Wrapping an arm around your waist, Regulus didn’t want to let you get too far away from him. Something in your eyes had changed. You weren’t as annoyed with him as you had been

“You’re not too old…or too dangerous. You're on the right side now…that’s enough. The age difference doesn’t bother me, Reg. It works fine with Tonks and Remus. We can make it work…if we want it to.”

“But I’m a shit boyfriend.”

The comment was full of feelings. Being a shit boyfriend was everything that Regulus thought that he was. He was positive that if you met Pandora or any of the other women that he slept around with they would all agree.

You placed a finger on his lips. Regulus’ grey eyes closed. He was clearly enjoying the feeling of your skin on his…if even for a brief moment.

“You’ve been a good lover. You can learn. Don’t leave me, Regulus. Every man I have ever had in my life has left me in one way or another…I don’t want to lose you too.”

Regulus couldn’t help the pang of fury that went through him. Every man had left you…That thought alone made Regulus furious. He wanted nothing more than to find your father and beat the shit out of him. How he walked away from such a sweet little girl was still a mystery to him.

Yes, you could be stubborn. You could definitely be mouthy and most likely a pain in his ass…but Regulus couldn’t fathom the thought of leaving you. He knew the moment that he met his son or daughter, it would be the same feelings he felt for you.

“I’m not going anywhere. If you’ll have me, I’ll be faithful to you. You’re the only woman that I could want anyway.”

You stood on your tiptoes and kissed him softly.

“You’re the only man that I could want.”

You whispered against his mouth. Regulus’ eyes hadn’t opened. The memory of the good-looking doctor that you were speaking to returned to his mind. That was the kind of man that Regulus feared losing you to. Dr. Sexy was the kind of man that Regulus feared would not only take his place in your heart but would also play “father” to his child.

“What about the doctor that you were speaking to?”

You had been quietly enjoying the quiet nuzzling until those words left his mouth. Immediately, your eyes opened.

“You mean Nicolas? He’s all brawn and no brain. Reg, you are the only man that I could ever want. I want my baby’s father.”

You were relieved when Regulus smiled slightly. His eyes opened after a few more moments.

“Move in with me.”

This comment clearly surprised you. You blinked.

“What?”

Regulus tightened his hold on you.

“I want you to move in with me. I can’t take care of you if we live apart. You’ll be safe here. If my father did one thing right, it make this house damn near undetectable. We have nine months to get to know each other better and it only makes sense for you to be with me…please baby?”

Regulus added the “please baby” in some hope to get what he wanted. As a child, Regulus learned how to manipulate his mother and any other female member of his family to get what he wanted. When he became a teen and young adult, he used his manipulation skills and charming good looks to get what he wanted out of women. With you, his intentions weren’t really to manipulate viciously it was more to have his fair shot at being a husband and father.

Husband…

The world entered Regulus’ mind clearly without thinking. He slightly stopped and thought of the word a bit more. Was he ready to take you as a wife? Was he ready for the responsibility of being your husband? Something told Regulus no. He wasn’t quite ready to say “husband.” He had just accepted the terms “boyfriend” and “father.” Maybe he could get himself to say “husband” and “I love you” soon but for now…he was going with what he had…and what he could.

“Is that really what you want?”

You questioned. Of all the people that you knew, you knew that Regulus was extremely private. He was private even with his own brother. It had taken you a lot of alcohol and gentle prodding to get Regulus to open up as much as he had to you.

Regulus pulling you into a long kiss blocked any more thoughts from entering your mind. His mouth was commanding on yours as a hand went between your bodies. His long fingers stroked over your stomach before going back to cup your face.

“Yes, it's what I want. You can help me learn to love properly. Help me learn, and I’ll make you queen of everything I have…”

(to be continued….)

______

@amelie-black @jessyballet @knreidy1 @georgeweasleydumbhoe @fific7 @justfinishthis @acciosiriusblack  @siriuslyceleste @coffeeaddictednymph @millies0bsimp @rogue-nyx88 @readtomeregulus @starsval @daddyslittlevillain @panpride @taylor-will-be-the-death-of-me @saramaple @s-we-e-t-t-ea @f4iryluvy @i-love-scott-mccall @buttercup-beeee @padf00ts-l0ver @goldensunshineshit @haroldpotterson @quinis @aurorasnape12 @mentally-unstable-hoe @gugggu6gvai @jag9000 @lostarc24 @play-morezeppelin @ravenhood2792 @un-lovesherself @yousmellllikecaca @bennyberry @mimisparkle12 @teletubiswszpilkach @ad-astra-again @rubyroscoe1 @spideyxalmighty @lucasfilms77 @criminalyetminimal @brokencasbutt67-writer @authoressskr @authoressskr @hankypranky @summer-novak @shaylybaby2032 @knight-of-gleefulness @deanwherescas @untoldshortsofthefandoms @deanwherescas @wontlookaway @sprnaturallover @li0nh34rt @shitfaceddaniel-blog @emiwrites3reads @stelleduarte

[gamergirl-06]

Michael Anders x Reader

This was requested by @hyunjinbiased-blog who wanted the reader to be dating Micheal and the reader is also a sibling to Emma, oh yes and this has a happy ending (out of the other option being an unhappy ending).

I did my best on this one.

How? You ask yourself as you look at Michael who is doing what he usually does best..being Michael.

You didn’t know how you got so lucky to find someone like him in the apocalypse, but by god were you grateful for the universe bringing you together.

Was it perhaps because the universe knew you would be lonely? Was it maybe because it knew he needed someone by his side the rest of his life? You aren’t quite sure but regardless it doesn’t matter.

You have everything you could ever need right here, in your arms as Michael walked over to the bed and you layed in his arms and he smiled pressing a kiss to your lips as you get comfortable.

You had kept your relationship on the down low because Your Sister, Emma, had no clue that you two were dating and you weren’t planning on telling her anytime soon.

I mean really You and her PA? She would freak if she found out the 2 closest people to her are screwing behind her back.

A part of you felt guilty for not telling her, she was your sister and siblings share shit about each other all the time.

Michael felt this way too since he was her closest friend and confidant (apart from you) and he felt bad that he had been lying to her since she noticed that you two were getting too friendly with each other.

Flashback

Emma eyes you both suspiciously as you both giggle at something on the tv screen in the lounge area as Michael arms his arm around you pulling you closer to him.

You two had been acting to friendly with each other a lot lately, especially when she saw you both.

She shrugged it off thinking that since you two were best friends that that’s how you acted, plus she knew most best friends acted like that.

She walks over to Andrea and sits with her near the couch sat the very small bar.

Andrea looks at her knowingly “You have your suspicions”

Emma nodded her head “I don’t know what going on, I feel like they are together, I don’t mind if they are I just…I don’t know I could be wrong, they haven’t really confirmed anything, does anyone know?”

Andrea shook her head “No I don’t think anyone has heard anything from them”

“Oh ok, thanks for telling me Andrea” Emma said as she placed her arm on top of the bar and rested her head in her hand as she watched you.

End of Flashback

The Survivors didn’t even know that you were with Michael, not that they would care because they have other shit to worry about, going on runs, trying to get information from the doctor in Santa Monica for a cure.

You were pretty close to all of them and they all had some sort of family figure roll in your life.

Dani was like a mother figure, Very supportive of you and what you want to do but will be authoritative when she needs too.

Jacob was like the uncle who brings the vibe and fun to the function, he makes you laugh with his humour and overall wacky.

Ryan was like the protective older brother, he always watched your back.

Carla is the older cousin that likes getting into trouble with you (after all she is an adrenaline junkie).

Amy is the older sister that always teases you about anything.

And Bruno is the younger cousin that just likes to join in on the trouble with you and Carla because “You only live once”.

A knock sounded at the door and Michael gets up from the bed and opens it to see Sam.

“Hey, uh I need you to do me a favour, could you..” Sam stops when he sees you.

You were terrified so you froze up as he stared at you but a smirk came upon his lips.

“My my Michael, looks like you have been fucking Emma’s Sibling behind her back” Sam chuckled.

Michael’s eyes went wide with fear “No that’s not-“

“Oh I think it is, I actually think Emma would love to know -“ he turned around and Michael tackled him…well jumped on his back.

Sam was taken aback by this “What the fuck man”

Emma runs up the stairs “Michael what in earth are you doing” she sees you

Before Poor Michael could respond Sam blurts out “Michael has been fucking them”

Fuck.

You look down not wanting to make eye contact with your sister as you sat there hopeless.

You looked out the window and planned an escape route if you could jump out of it.

You get up off the bed but Emma grabs your wrist “Are you two together?”

You didn’t answer and she sighed.

“I said are you two-“

“YES we are” you broke, and you fall to your knees sobbing.

Well you can’t back the pedal now the secret was out Michael looked fucking terrified because he didn’t know if Emma was gonna let him have it or not.

Emma grabs you up of the floor “I’m not mad at you guys, infact I kinda had a inkling but I wasn’t sure, so I’m happy that it was confirmed”

You gasped as she pulled you into a hug and you hugged back.

“I love him em and he loves me”

She pulls away “how long has this been going on” she point to you and Michael.

“Since the plane crash” you admitted

Flashback

You woke up surrounded by people all over the plane not moving.

You sit up and run your head “ow what the fuck happened”

You were confused as the last thing you remembered people everywhere screaming as the plane went down.

Oh you remembered now as you stood up and a hand grabbed ahold of yours. You jumped but are relieved when it was just Michael that was revealed as the person.

“Sorry to startle you are you ok?” He asked

You nod “yeah just a bruise, what about you?”

He nods “same, I’m ok nothing major, we need to get out and find the others”

You nod and try to find an opening to which you thankfully did and you both hoisted yourself into the open hole and jump down to search for the others.

Michael stopped and you look at him confused.

“Michael what’s wrong” you say

“I love you” Michael blurted out

You were taken aback by this but it made you smile nonetheless.

“I ugh..I’m sorry..I…I didn’t realise-“ but he was cut off by you kissing him.

He kissed back and you pulled away “I love you too Michael Anders”

Once you found the others you regrouped with Emma and the others

End flashback

She looks at you “oh, well then I guess you found something good that came out of this”

You laugh “I most certainly did” Michael wraps his arm around your waist.

“Emma I promise to do nothing but live and cherish them, I can promise you that” Michael said.

Emma smiles “well then if that’s the case I don’t have to worry about (Y/N)”.

She turns to walk away and then turns around again to face us

“But if you do anything other then that, you know what I will do” she said.

“I uh aha I won’t hurt her..I promise” Michael said nervously

“Good” she said and walked out of the room.

You kiss Michael and he says “there is no one else I’d rather be with”

Bonus:

“Hey Emma?” Michael asked her

“Yes” she replied

Michael swallowed nervously “ I have a question, it’s a very big one”

She turns around intrigued and looks at him “and what would that be?”

Michael breathed in and out and just said it “I want to ask you if I can have (Y/N)’s hand in marriage?”

Her eyes widened and her she gave the biggest smile “Michael, you have my blessing”

He looks at her surprised “really..I..thank you”

He runs off and Emma immediately run to the others in the other room “Michael’s gonna propose to (Y/N)”.

Michael led you to the balcony which was perfect because the sun set made the lighting beautiful for a proposal.

“(Y/N) I know we’ve had our ups and downs but I really want to be with you forever and I love you so much, I can’t imagine if I hadn’t met you, so…”

He grabs out a box with a shiny ring in it and gets down on one knee “will you marry me?”

Your hand went to your mouth as you cried and then you nod your head.

“Yes Michael I will marry you” you say and you laugh through tears as he put to ring in your finger.

You share a kiss in the gorgeous sunset but what you didn’t know was that everyone was watching the event and gave cheers to which you didn’t hear, they did t want to ruin YOUR moment.

[pastelsapphy]

Inferno

"I wanted to bring here everyone that should get on their knees for Saeran. Me, that woman, and V..." Saeyoung Choi is not a man of mercy. He is a hellbound force of retribution with nothing left to lose. Those who hurt his brother will pay for it in blood. What if Saeyoung had brought V to the cabin too? Warnings: Major character death, murder, suicide, arson, death by fire, unhinged Saeyoung. Read on AO3 A/N: "Hey Luc, didn't you post this already?" Yes. And then I edited the post fifty times and added an AO3 link, so I wanted to make a neater post. Anyway, I wrote this at midnight because the thought wouldn't leave me alone. I wonder what Saeyoung's plan was if he'd gotten all three of them to the cabin like he'd wanted in VAE. Whatever it was, it wouldn't be pretty. And I think seeing both of the people he blamed Saeran's death in front of him... the thought that Saeran wouldn't want revenge wouldn't stop him. Not this time. The world needs more unhinged Saeyoung. Let him be angry and terrifying. I'm normally not a fan of unhappy endings, so maybe a miracle happens. Maybe Saeyoung ends up with a cool scar to match his brother's. Maybe not. Who knows.

There is an old clock in the cabin. Saeyoung isn't sure how it still works--it's not like anyone who comes out here is about to change the batteries or anything. Yet it works, filling the tiny wooden building with a steady tick, tick, tick as the seconds go by.

It's fitting, really. It's as if the universe is counting down the minutes. How many more does he have? Maybe it's only a few. Perhaps as much as an hour. Certainly not much more than that.

Tick, tick, tick.

He had already sent Vanderwood outside. Well, forced them out might be more accurate--they could tell something was wrong with Saeyoung. Of course, they knew about his brother by this point; they knew he was going to grieve, and grieving people do weird shit to cope. And Saeyoung is a weird guy to begin with. But something was just... off. It was a feeling in their gut. Something snapped in that kid's brain and Vanderwood wasn't keen on leaving him to his own devices.

"I'm not leaving you by yourself so you can do something stupid," Vanderwood had said.

"I know exactly what I'm doing, Vanderwood." Saeyoung did not shift his gaze away from the cabin's other two occupants. "It's in everyone's best interest if you wait outside."

"I told you I'm--"

"Get the fuck out!" Saeyoung snapped, briefly looking away to shoot a glare at the other agent.

Vanderwood had been momentarily stunned into silence. They yelled at Saeyoung on a regular basis--the kid had caused them so many headaches over the years--but never had Saeyoung snapped back like that. He would make smartass remarks, god knows he was full of them, but he never yelled. If he had ever been truly angry with Vanderwood, he had never shown it.

There was a long silence, broken only by the ever-present tick, tick, tick of the old clock. Then, Vanderwood had sighed and stood from their chair. "Fine. But if I think you're about to do something that will endanger both our lives, I'm coming back."

"You don't have to worry about that. Just wait outside, Agent."

Something about the way he said that sent a chill down their spine. Maybe it was his tone, now constantly laced with barely-restrained rage. Maybe it was the fact that he called them Agent. Maybe it was instinct. But after another moment's pause, they stepped outside the cabin. They reached into their pocket for their cigarettes, only to find them gone, along with their lighter. Must have left them in the cabin. By the time they turned around to check, Saeyoung had already latched the door behind them.

So now it's just the three of them, three people tied together by one unbreakable thread. Three people who weren't human anymore. Three monsters. Three killers with blood on their hands. The worst kind of scum, all responsible for taking the life of an innocent--someone too kind and pure for this world.

Saeran may have been the one to detonate the bomb that destroyed Magenta, but the three who sit in the cabin--Saeyoung Choi, Jihyun Kim, Rika Kim--are the ones responsible. They all killed Saeran. Saeran's blood coats their hands and would never, could never, be washed away.

Tick, tick, tick.

V, ever the mediator, is the first to break the silence. "Luciel--"

"Why?" The word tears itself from Saeyoung's throat, finally pushing past the lump of rage and guilt that threatens to strangle him.

"I'm sorry, Saeyoung," Rika says. "I'm so sorry for everything that happened. If I could go back, if I could trade my life for his--"

"You have no right to say that." Saeyoung spits, standing abruptly. "You have no! Right!"

Rika falls silent, her hollow-eyed gaze dropping to the floor. Saeyoung hates it. Her demeanor only angers him further. How dare she play the victim? Maybe the 'it's all my fault, I'm the worst, I deserve retribution' thing would garner sympathy from other people, but not Saeyoung. He, in fact, wholeheartedly agrees. It is all her fault. She is the worst person in the world. She does deserve retribution. The same goes for V and himself.

"Luciel--" V tries again.

"And neither do you!" Saeyoung's venom now turns to him. "Don't you dare say anything about sacrifice. It means nothing. It won't bring him back. It won't change what you did to him."

Tick, tick, tick.

"I trusted you," Saeyoung says. "I. Trusted. You. You promised me--you swore to me that you would protect him! How could you--" his voice cracks. "How could you do that to him? Saeran was good. Saeran was innocent. Saeran was kind, and gentle, and he deserved to be loved. But you--you--"

He lets out a frustrated noise, unable to turn his thoughts into words. His mind is nothing but a loop of rage, rage, rage. Rage and vengeance and shame and guilt.

"You killed him," he finally growls. "Both of you killed him. And... so did I. Every one of us is responsible for what happened to him."

"Luciel," V tries again. "We--" he sighs. "Please, Luciel... if anything, do not blame yourself--"

"How?" He snaps. "How?! I trusted you both to look after him. To care for him. To treasure him. And instead, you manipulated and brainwashed him. You tortured him just like our mother did." He feels a twisted sense of satisfaction at the pained gasp Rika lets out, as if she's been stabbed through the heart.

Saeyoung decides to twist the knife further. "Actually, you were even worse than our mother. At least she never lied to us. We knew from the beginning that she only wanted us to get money from our father, that she never loved either of us. But you? You lied. You promised to protect us, to help us. But in the end you were just the same. You gave us hope only for your own selfish needs.

"Saeran spent every day of his life living in fear while you beat all the kindness and gentleness out of him.

"And you--" Now he speaks directly to V. "You did nothing to stop her. Fuck all your excuses. I don't care about your sacrifice. You were only ever concerned with her. You were only ever protecting her. If you had really wanted to protect Saeran then you would have saved him from her. You can martyr yourself all you want, it won't make you any better than her."

Tick, tick, tick.

The air in the room shifts abruptly. It's charged, thrumming like a livewire. The explosive anger evaporates in an instant; it's replaced by something far more terrifying.

"All of Saeran's killers must be held responsible for what happened," Saeyoung says. His anger is no longer a raging inferno. Now, his anger is like ice. It's calm, now. No less intense, but calm. As if he had long ago decided a course of action.

Tick, tick, tick.

Saeyoung crosses the room and reaches for something behind one of the chairs. He wonders, briefly, what his brother's last moments were like. How did the bomb detonate? Had Saeran simply pressed a button and ended it, or was he forced to sit there and listen as a timer counted down his last minutes on Earth?

Tick, tick, tick.

Rika does not react, but V's eyes widen when Saeyoung lifts a large, red plastic canister from behind the chair. "Luciel, what are you--"

Saeyoung unceremoniously upends the container in the middle of the cabin's main room. The liquid quickly soaks into the carpet and the wood flooring, and the heavy smell of gasoline fills the room.

Tick, tick, tick.

"Luciel! Wait, let's talk about this--" V has risen to his feet, but freezes when Saeyoung pulls a beat-up zippo from his pocket.

"Talk?" Saeyoung says, laughing. "Talk?! You had years to talk, V, but you stayed silent and let Saeran suffer. The time for talking has long since passed."

Tick, tick, tick.

He flicks the lighter open with a small metallic clink.

"Saeran wouldn't want this," V tries. His half-blind, once-honest eyes are wide and desperate.

"Don't you dare speak his name!" Saeyoung shouts. "You don't deserve to say his name."

"Please--"

"It doesn't matter anymore what he would have wanted."

It's then that V notices the tears running down Saeyoung's cheeks, the tremble in his voice. Had he ever seen Saeyoung cry before?

"He's gone. And he's never coming back. And those responsible need to pay for it.

"Heh... you know, this is the first time I wished I could get into Heaven," Saeyoung continues, voice breaking. "Just for a few minutes. Just long enough to apologize to Saeran. For everything. For not being able to protect him. For leaving him. For being a terrible brother. For betraying him. For failing him. Beg for his forgiveness. All of us should."

Tick, tick, tick.

Saeyoung lets out a low chuckle. "Knowing Saeran... he would probably forgive us. Not that any of us deserve it. So perhaps it's better this way."

Tick, tick, tick.

"Take your revenge, Saeyoung." Rika's voice is hardly above a whisper, yet it seems so loud in such a small space.

Tick, tick, tick.

Saeyoung lowers himself to the ground, thumb on the wheel of the zippo. The gasoline soaks into the legs of his jeans. His head feels light, and he's not sure if it's from the fumes or if it's a weight lifting off his shoulders.

Tick, tick, tick.

"You wanted us all to be a family, right?" He says.

Tick, tick, tick.

"Then let's go to Hell together."

Tick, tick,

Click

Tick--

BOOM.

[lethalitisms]

CANON POINT UPDATE PT 1: BEYOND VENOM

It's terrifying to think about. The whole world, resting on their shoulders. Eddie is just a man. Even with his symbiote, underneath it all, he is just a man. What makes him think he can face God?

The voices haunt him deeply. Sometimes, they get so loud he can't hear his other underneath all the noise. Like it's drowning, trapped within it. He knows the feeling. Eddie interlaces the fingers of both his hands, one formed in the black-ichor substance of the symbiote that lives beneath his skin. How many times have they done this song and dance? Separating, hating, reuniting?

Building, destroying, the endless cycles of their lives. Forever bonded in more than just the physical. It's terrifying. Feels like only a week ago they were fighting villains-of-the-day and living paycheck to paycheck ( if they got one at all ). Now they're on the frontlines at the end of the world. Nobody should have to bear this weight, not even Eddie with his bottomless pit of sins to atone for.

He can't stop thinking about it. About his family now. They have a family now. His son, his symbiote spawn, his symbiote partner, and his wife. God, his wife. Is that what she is, now? Is he allowed to call her that?

WHAT'S UP GUYS ! Time for a canon point update! Lots of things have happened between then and . . . now. But there's also one more canon point udpate to come later, for development reasons. It's a pretty big leap between now and there, so I've decided to split it up a bit. For fun and for angst. And also that plot-points list is a bit long already as it is. The new canon point right now takes place during Beyond Venom #5, after the defeat of the alternate-verse Codex but before the little timeskip. There's a lot to go through, so bare with me here.

PLOT POINTS:

So, God is coming. Family, amiright? Knull, god of the symbiotes, is coming down to Earth and it's, uh, quite intense. Eddie and the symbiote have worked together to fuck him up big time, but it cooked the symbiote in the process. So, for a while, it lost all of its "light", so to speak. Its personality, its sense of self. Eddie was fucking devastated.

There's also a Carnage cult ( again ). Carnage was one of the first symbiote spawns, bonded to Cletus Kassidy, and they sort of wreaked a lot of havoc until they were shot up in space to die. This cult believes they can resurrect him . . .

Eddie and the symbiote have . . . another kid! Dylan! When Anne bonded to the symbiote that one time a very long time ago, the symbiote had been preparing to have another spawn. But since it was bonded to Eddie for some time before her already, it had a piece of him ( quite literally, his semen ) with it. And so, Dylan was conceived. Dylan believed he was Eddie's little brother for a bit, but the cat got out of the bag at some point.

Here's where I do a little canon divergence. The Maker ( don't worry about him, some multiverse stuff ) helped Eddie to reveal that the symbiote was altering his memories. Well, I'm doing away with some of that because it doesn't really make a lot of sense, because I want to keep Mary Brock in the picture ( in a manner of speaking ). I am keeping is that the symbiote did manipulate him into believing that Mary died of cancer; she is still alive, and Eddie hasn't spoken to her in many years, which pokes a hole in the symbiote's false memories. How would he know if she or anybody that knew her wouldn't think to contact him?

Additionally, I'm omitting the car-crash backstory bits, because it removes a very pivotal moment in Eddie's life I feel matters to how I write him ( not by much if it's not brought up, mind you ). I used to want to keep it in, but the more I thought about it the less I liked it.

SPEAKING OF CATS. . . Sleeper ( the youngest of the symbrock family ) is back from their trip to space. Uh, they don't really touch on this much in the comics, but could be an interesting dynamic for anyone interested in bringing it up. Hehe.

So, the symbiote's "light" is back. But not without a few consequences. Carnage is also in there in his brain, so he went to a remote island he "vacationed" on a long time ago to take him down. He lost his left hand in the process, but he got back his symbiote! So that's a win.

You thought they completely killed Knull back there? Nuh-uh. Remember that Carnage cult I mentioned earlier? Well, they bonded Cletus' body with a piece of Knull, so he's kind of that god's prophet. And God is still gonna be heading over to earth and fucking shit up. Eddie and the symbiote are gonna have fun with nightmares for a while.

The symbiote curses for the first time. Not like it doesn't know what cursing is. It just never really found a reason to do so until they popped into an alternate dimension ( again ).

Eddie got to see Anne, his ex-wife, in an alternate dimension ( again, don't worry about it ). She'd died quite some time ago ( but she got the chance to divorce him before then ) and they somewhat rekindled the flame? It's complicated. The symbiote is chill with that.

He and the rest of the symbiote task force ( once again, don't worry about it ) have defeated Codex, the version of Dylan in this Anne's dimension, and things are all good. Now they gotta wait 5 years 1 year to get back to their home dimension . . .

And now they're here again.

NEW ABILITIES:

Spider-sense ( advanced ); the symbiote has inherited Spider-Man’s spider-sense, allowing it to feel when danger is imminent, and can warn the host ahead of time. However, after it’s reconnection to the Hive, it has been capable of sensing more things in the atmosphere. The symbiote can predict oncoming weather weeks or months in advance, as well as their general location, and whether or not someone is lying to them.

Filtered breathing; the symbiote has no need to breathe oxygen and is capable of storing it within their form. If a host is underwater, it can provide that oxygen directly into their lungs, allowing them to practically breathe underwater or avoid suffocation by other substances.

Dragon wings; the symbiote can allow its host to fly by sprouting dragon's wings.

Ok so these are ... less new abilities more like abilities I forgot to mention and were relevant a bit more in the new canon ( except for the dragon wings, that's new ).

OTHER CHANGES:

Eddie will seem a little more jumpy than usual. He's freaked out by the fact that the god of symbiotes kind of hates the hell out of him specifically.

Because he's Going Through It, Eddie will shave and cut his hair a lot less regularly. So sometimes he'll have longer hair, sometimes a beard or some scruff. The symbiote prefers him clean shaven. But, again, he's going through it rn.

During his time back on Venom Island ( yes, it's called that ), Eddie lost his left hand. So, when he's bonded with the symbiote, it will form a hand for him. When it's not, there's a stump that ends not too far from his wrist. I'm gonna go ahead and say I'm keeping it that way, even if they practically retcon this later, because I want him to feel pain.

Also? During his time battling with that Carnage manifestation, it carved big block letters into his back that reads "GOD IS COMING" and it never really gets mentioned again. But I'm saying it's staying there for a good long while, because that's a bit freaky.

I will not drop any threads currently ongoing! But I'll be more inclined to start new ones. Indie threads, we'll figure it out. Hold my hand and walk into the light with me . . . wait, is that an oncoming train? ( /j we can do whatever we want basically )

[jinx-on-mars-19xx]

The Queen of Hearts

⚔️ All Previous Parts Here ⚔️

Dom x Colson (Yungblud x Machine Gun Kelly)

Warnings: ABO (knots, slick, mpreg), Viking/god Col, fae Dom, plot heavy, secrets revealed, fear, pain, broken hearts, mentions of possible past miscarriage), death threats, blood oaths, talks of past forced hiding of designation (Tom), mentions of being held captive, lots of anger, MF hate (obviously), Dom being a badass, Mod being adorably slow, self harm (to perform blood oath), lots of passing the baby around, Cia being adorable, a surprising amount of fluff for all these warnings, lots of Tod fluff (Tom/Mod), fluff all around ☠️ rating: mature ☠️ shared ideas by @iamnotanearthlingmotherfucker 🖤

"I- excuse me?" Modig's voice was even softer than normal and whatever aura of a mood coming off him had their little empathic babe wrapping his arms around his neck. With Ciarán as a necklace the seer stood, his arm supporting the child as naturally as breathing and Dom couldn't help but think he would make a lovely father. He was a lovely father. He was trying to stay quiet and watch the scene unfold but he was so anxious for his family he couldn't help the urge to jump in. He hoped it would be a happy occasion but a part of him was right back between his parents as a little boy, standing ready to keep the peace or get hit trying. He knew they wouldn't, but the worry felt the same.

Tom huffed softly, the only person in the room before that moment that had known his designation was staring at him like he'd just found out. What a wonderful first impression on his possible father-in-law. Fuck. His gaze, as it always did, found the person he always felt the need to connect with. Dom was watching wide eyed and full of fear and the selkie felt too far separated from his prince. The boy must have sensed it or felt it too because he flexed his hand and the fae felt wanted. Beckoned. Emotionally protected. For just a moment he'd felt so alone but they were kin and Dom would always be there. He wasn't upset that Tom had hidden something so important. He'd always felt badly about letting the prince think he was the only male omega around but the king and queen had been so… threatening. Their boy was supposed to be special, he couldn't know there was someone like him so close.

He'd always hated being omega, he was supposed to be the kid's protector and he'd had to prove himself to them over and over again. They'd given him potions and concoctions to keep his body from doing what it was supposed to naturally, they'd hoped no one would ever find out. When he chose to follow his best friend he was both relieved and terrified. He would no longer have to hide but he still had. He hadn't even thought twice about it until he met his mushroom man and he worried about the damage they had done.

He sighed deep and stepped around the small group to stand next to his prince. He was shocked at how easily he was forgiven but thankful. He knew it was wrong to spring it on them all like that but when he took Dom's hand he could breathe again. "Go on 'en. Explain it for the poor fing. I can promise you, the blonde runs in the family. And yet we let 'em breed us." The siren spoke in their own tongue and he couldn't help a small laugh. There was so much relief in the sound he was sure it was palpable. His kin forgave him. His brother still loved him. Thank gods.

"I'm not sure I wish to. For once I can't read him. Will you do it for me?" He asked in the same language. Dom snorted when he laughed in surprise but Tom knew he was thankful for being needed.

"Wha'- does he stay out ya 'ead or summat? I mean tha's sweet but not convenient." He teased back before switching to the Viking tongue they were used to now. "Mod dear, congratulations. I fink." He couldn't help but add the last, with everyone staring at him he was getting more and more nervous. "You gonna be a daidí."

Kol'son huffed, he didn't like his mate using that word for anyone else so he couldn't seem to stop himself from correcting- "You're going to be a father. Trying to steal my thing, huh?" He grumbled, not in the least shocked when his wife elbowed him. He was already growly having so many people around his mate- family or not. He was trying so hard not to push the other man off his queen but at the same time he felt far more comfortable about it now that he knew Tom was omega. Sexist maybe but his alpha couldn't help it.

"I'm… but we're not even mated?" Modig whimpered, the poor thing was probably so overwhelmed. Someone back from the dead and a new little life all in one day. The wild man might just be slightly tamed.

"And?" Tom grumbled, squeezing Dom's hand tighter at the same moment Inga swat at his shoulder.

"Neither were we son. We made you the first time-" Tavis was the next to be swat at, his blue eyes going wide as he looked to his love. There was a small fond smile on his face that promised he was as in love with her as he was all those years ago. It was a beautiful thing to witness.

"No one here needs to know our history like that. Bad boy. As filthy as the rest of them. I'm glad my sweet omega sons are here or this place would be improper all the time. Modig, you don't have to be mated to make a family, you know that." Inga was on a warpath to school all the alphas and betas in the room it seemed but they were just happy to see her feeling more herself. "You love each other, no matter how you like to act and we all know this is what's supposed to happen. Say something nice to your boy before he faints. That's the mother of your child."

Maybe it was hearing it from his mother or maybe it was the shock of her treating him like a son so intently but it hit the seer all at once and completely. "Mush-Mush sad?" Ciarán asked, his feet wiggling against Mod's stomach and back and he shook his head though he knew tears were welling his eyes. His eyes that matched his parents. His eyes that before long might be looking back at him from a baby face.

"Fuck. No, I'm not. I'm… I'm really happy." He sniffled and smiled and the baby gave him such a confused look that perfectly copied his mother. He couldn't help but laugh and he pressed a kiss to the boy's hair before stepping closer to his lover to do the same to him. "I'm really happy. I can't believe you told me like this but-" He chuckled and let Kol take the babe so he could cup his soon-to-be mate's cheeks in his palms. "I thought you said…" He trailed off. He was proud of Tom for coming out but maybe he didn't want anyone knowing everything.

The selkie grinned and placed one palm over his love's as their foreheads pressed together, he couldn't completely let go of his best friend yet. "I didn't think I could. After all they gave me to stop it… but it's been months since I even felt that hint of a heat I have."

"Months?" Mod asked shocked and at the same moment Dom whimpered- "Gave you? Oh gods."

"Months yes. Three. I shouldn't have waited but… I didn't trust my body, and you-" He glanced to his best friend and squeezed his hand. "Please don't worry? I swear we can talk about it later but it wasn't your fault. It was never on you."

"So we have… six?" The halfling whined. He couldn't decide if he was upset he had to wait so long or terrified because it was so soon. It was definitely some mixture of both.

"You can tell he weren't raised completely Viking. He can maff." Dom tried to make a joke but his heart wasn't in it. He didn't think he'd still be finding out the terrible shit his parents did after so long. "You 'ear tha' baby? You getting more 'an jus' little bruvs or sisters, you getting a cousin!" He tried to turn the mood of the room around by explaining more clearly to their son who grinned so wide and clapped his hands.

"Think you can handle all that? Can I trust you to be a good big boy and protect them all? You'll be leader of this pack someday." Kol hummed and bounced his boy on his hip and Cia tried to give him a solemn look as he nodded but it quickly turned to a playful practice snarl. "Woah! Such a scary boy!" He teased, nuzzling his babe's neck and growling playfully. When the little chief giggled in delight and accidentally kicked him in the stomach everyone laughed. Leave it to the children to make everything bright again.

Tom watched the littlest prince and he felt his belly flip. He was a beautiful sight with his ringlet white blonde curls and big seafoam color eyes. He'd never seen someone smile more than the baby did and he just hoped they could make their child that blindingly happy. "You know… it might be confusing if they hear us call each other 'brother'." He sighed to his lover. His voice was laced with sarcasm but it often was.

Mod chuckled and smirked as he dropped a hand to hover close to Tom's stomach. The man was still so fit and he couldn't wait to see his baby start to show. "Maybe you're right." The halfling purred low, he was almost nervous to touch. If he touched it would be completely real. "Do you think… 'mate' would be better? Maybe even… 'wife'?"

"Like hell you're calling me 'wife'. Now stop dawdling and greet your babe. Soft I swear. The lot of them." The last was directed at Dom and they both giggled as he finally slipped his hand free of his kin's and pressed Mod's touch to his stomach.

"Shit hey! Hi. Hello little one. Can they even hear me?" He asked softly.

Kol laughed, he was mostly busy trying to keep his braids from being pulled out by his little warrior but he was paying enough attention to try and help. "Does it matter? Do you feel better?"

Dom was shocked at how sweet and open his husband was being and he leaned against his side. He was smiling up at him and trying to ignore the wetness between his thighs. He was so easy for the Viking but how could he help it? The bastard was perfect.

Mod nibbled his lip and thought about it for a moment. He supposed his cousin was right. He felt damn good. His arms went around Tom's thighs and he picked him up off the ground, pressing his face to his belly and spinning his little family around to the sounds of his nephew giggling like mad. Tom shrieked, a noise he never thought he'd hear from him, it was high and soft and he loved it but when the selkie started swatting at him he let him back on the ground. "What? You're mine aren't you?" He was normally sweeter even than most other betas but there was something about learning he'd bred his lover that made him want to be growly.

Tom was annoyed with himself when he shivered but he couldn't let Mod know that affected him. His brow arched, his eyes rolling, but he couldn't hide the smile completely. "I suppose that's better than 'wife'. So you're mine too?"

"Of course." The forest nymph nodded, thrilled to be claimed after so long.

"Modig no. Fuck." They all startled a bit at the sound of someone else. Somehow they had slightly forgotten about the eldest couple among them. He turned slowly to find his father looking at him sadly. He was starting to realize how frustrating he might be to others with his mind reading ability. "Please know I would have claimed you from the moment I learned about you. I was going to find her and take her to the forest with me. You would have- you should have grown up with us both loving you. You should have grown up a future prince. It shouldn't have taken so long. I'm… fuck I'm so sorry." That was almost the most Tavis had spoken so far and he hadn't meant to hurt him. Thankfully Inga stepped closer and hugged her long lost mate. Mod wasn't sure he was ready for that yet and he couldn't seem to completely let go of his… something. Mate he hoped.

"Honestly I… I would never have wished anyone tortured but please know I'm not angry. Your brother was good to me and I ended up here. I was supposed to be here. I was needed when Dom showed up and brought me my own family. I'm happy Tavis. I know I'm loved. I'm not saying we don't have room for you too- of course we do, but don't add that to shit to feel bad about. He's welcome to stay, right chief?"

Kol nodded but he looked to Dom and Inga, they were the ones who really got a say here. "I think my aunt and wife would kick my ass if I said no. You're welcome here Tavis. All your clan has been. It's part of our home now. I mean I get if you want to go back, I'm sure Tavin will be ecstatic to see you. You're welcome here though." He spared a small worry for the man's twin. He knew as leader he should probably send word to the fae to let him know but… that seemed like a Tavis problem. If the nymph didn't talk to his family in the next week he'd talk to the old prince.

"Thank you. All of you. I… I would appreciate a rest and maybe… maybe we could share a meal Inga? Catch up? Although please, please keep Harald's daughter away from me?" The man looked genuinely scared and Kol'son cursed himself. In the midst of all the happy he forgot there was a traitor in their midst. He was surprised when it was Dom who growled softly and stepped closer to the older pair.

The siren laid his palm against Tavis's shoulder and the fairy smiled down at him. "I swear to you we'll keep you safe. I hate to ask but we need to know… wha' did she demand of you?"

Tavis swallowed hard and held his long lost love tighter against him. He knew deep down he shouldn't be scared of the human girl but he knew how strong and determined they could be. He'd fallen in love with one after all. "She commanded that I use magic to- to-" He choked on the words and his gaze met his son's. He needed help.

"Shit. Fuck her. Gods-" Mod found himself squeezing Tom closer and they stepped up behind Dom. "She called for the death of the chief's bloodline. She wanted you broken Kol." He was reading it straight from his father's mind and he felt ill. Just the echos of all he'd been through were terrifying.

Kol'son's brows furrowed, he heard the words but they weren't filtering right. When his wife's hands dropped protectively over his stomach and Cia hugged him around the neck it started to hit but he couldn't believe it. No. He'd been so forgiving of her. He'd let her live and her family kept their home. Her mother had remarried into the clan and… "How could she torture me by killing me? I mean I'm… I'm the bloodline." He huffed, he refused to hear anything different from the implication.

"Brother, she wanted your children d- gone, and the two of you alive to suffer." The words felt like ash on Mod's tongue but the moment he said it Tavis added something and his stomach soured. "No, first the children then when you tried again she wanted Dom and… no. No. I'm not saying that. They don't need to know." The seer almost growled to his father and the selkies both jumped. They had never heard him like that before.

"Yes they do. It wasn't me. I know you're just scared for me but it wasn't me. Did you let her serve you at some point? Or do you have someone here who was close to her?" The fairy prince asked and they all glanced to each other.

"I… I don't know. We'd 'ave to ask around. Why?" Dom whimpered softly but he had a strong feeling he didn't want an answer.

Tavis looked down and took Dom's hand in his. The boy was so kind. They all were. "I vow to you, a blood oath if you wish- she wasn't able to claim me for her wishes. I'm a free man and I've had nothing to do with this. But… it seems she had someone here to keep your happiness at bay. When her plans fell through she came for me. But from what I understand she… she's had someone trying to poison you. You need to test all your people. I know she failed and she and her help were sent home. You're safe for now but… she will try again when she hears you're still with child."

"Oh." Dom couldn't think of a single word to say. There was so much pain in his chest he could barely breathe. That bitch. They had let her live even though he wished for her head on a silver platter just for touching his mate. Did she think she could rule? Why had she done this?

"I believe she thought if the chief were broken and she appeared…" Tavis trailed off. He didn't have to say it aloud. It had been her game all along.

"Oh ew! What the fuck? No! Oh gods no. Fucking- I'm going to be sick." Kol actually started gagging and Inga had to pull away from her love to take the littlest chief from him.

"Language boys. There's at least… ten little ears to hear you talk so crude." She chided him.

"No Ing, 'ey right. Fuck tha' bitch. I want 'er brought to me- I want 'er punished!" Dom was more worked up than he thought he'd ever been. There was so much past trauma swirling his head and soul. He needed to be held and soothed and he needed to stare at his son for at least a day. See him breathing and safe. He would call for her death first but he had questions he didn't think he truly wanted answers to. Had she been poisoning their boy? Had she taken- no. He wouldn't go there yet. "Why was she sent away?"

"She um… she came to me naked one too many times. At first she acted like it was an accident but the last time she just hopped in my bath and-" Kol could feel the rage coming off his wife in waves. "I only didn't tell you because I didn't want you upset right now!" He tried to fix the problem before it started. They'd worried so long they couldn't have more babes, of course he didn't want his mate feeling anything that might cause problems. He was surprised when Dom came to him and curled against his chest. He didn't know if it was something he'd still get in trouble for later but at least he wasn't being yelled at.

"I know. 'Ush, I know. We couldn't- or we- we lost… but I know. I understand why you was careful. Fank you for making 'er go." It was the closest Dom had ever gotten to saying the words but he couldn't. They didn't know and it didn't matter. Either way they'd been tortured for two years and Megna was at fault. Not Kol'son. More than ever he needed their relationship strong. He knew he'd be working through this for days or weeks or… gods even years. Fuck he had to stop his blood from boiling. "Send for someone to find her. Petter or… someone we know we can trust. No one wiv magic. She obviously knows tricks." He commanded to his leader before leaning up for a quick kiss. When he turned around the Viking curled around him and held his belly. He needed to protect his pack.

"Tavis I'm sorry but… I may need tha' blood oath. Jus' to be safe." He knew what he was asking, blood oaths could bind a fae to whomever they swore it to. If the man did it he might be in service to them for life. It was a mystery as to why it happened that way sometimes and others it just proved the truth. "You may swear to Inga if you wish. I trust 'er. I trust everyone in 'ere." He added, trying to give the fae options but there was no way he could leave it possible that Tavis was just a snap away from killing his family.

"If you don't mind… I'd like to direct it to everyone here. I mean… you're all my family I hope. We're all related in some way and I wish to vow my life in protection of you all." Tavis explained and Dom nodded, pleased with the answer. "My brother was leader of the forest but my children were going to be next in line because I- I never wished to rule and he couldn't have any. He was cursed long ago. I believe that's why he loved you so much Modig. But… now you've all made this beautiful home that covers so many clans. You've done the impossible and brought my people out of the trees and mixed them with humans. I know Megna threatened all of that and I wish… I wish to promise my service to you all. I'd love to stay in whatever capacity you will allow. I vow to you my life, my magic, and my soul." They hadn't expected him to oath himself already but Kol offered him a dagger and when Inga hid the baby's face he cut a mark over his chest before walking around and placing a drop of his blood over each of their hearts. Even marking over Dom and Tom's stomachs though the selkie gave him a look when he put four on his.

The magic in the room felt thick, the air around them electric. When the fae stood next to his love and marked first the little prince and then hovered over her chest she blushed like a young girl again. "Will you accept my vow Inga?" He asked, his voice low and soft. Cia giggled and covered his eyes the same way he did every time his parents kissed.

"You flirt, you. Get it over with then. I've already vowed myself to you long ago you silly man." Her smile was blinding as the nymph grinned back and covered his whole palm in red before pressing it over her heart. Thankfully the magic calmed with the last promise but just to be safe she grabbed his tunic and pulled him close to seal it with a kiss.

Dom was surprised when he found himself laughing, for all the fear and pain he was still so happy. His family was safe and they had something back they hadn't realized they needed but that had always been missing. "I'll send Pete and some of the boys but do you want to rest while we wait?" Kol'son hummed in his ear.

Dom shook his head and glanced to their best friends. "Nope. I fink first we should 'ave a talk." He grinned and Tom sighed over exaggeratedly.

"Fiiiine. If we must. As long as you forgive me?" The last was softer, a little more truth than the selkie meant to let escape.

"Nuffin to forgive. Let's find a snack 'ough yeah?"

"Oh fuck, yes please." Their mate's both laughed and nodded, heading for the kitchen to hunt and gather food for their omegas.

"Get used to it, it's all we're good for." Kol joked to his kin and Dom called out after him.

"Not the only fing but it will be if you not nice to us." He teased, winking at the man he called brother. He wanted to show him everything was okay. He was safe. Accepted. They could handle anything as long as they were all together.

Author's Note/Tags: @manicpixiedreamb0y @hollywoodxwhore @jaxbreaker @cole-way-iero28 @iamnotanearthlingmotherfucker 🖤

This was a little long but hopefully enjoyable! I just couldn't stop 😂 I love all of them together like this and I'm enjoying the four boys talking. Inga and Tavis are precious though too. Hope you're still enjoying it! I promise more smut soon. Probably 👀🖤☠️

[truckstoptigers]

i was four. i was only four. within that exact same year we met, he started molesting me. i know it was to get me used to it, to convince me it was fine, and i was fucking four so i didn't know any different. i'm sure on some level i thought it was weird that my mom didn't do that also, bc he would tell me it was okay since he was my dad, but i never said anything. i was only four. what the fuck else could i do?

then i turned five and everything got worse. sometimes the touching hurt, when he would do it too much, but it was nothing compared to what 2006 brought me. he raped me for the first time when i was only five years old, IN HIS BROTHER'S FUCKING HOUSE. while we were VISITING. THEY WERE HOME. but he told me it was okay, i was supposed to bleed, it was supposed to hurt; it meant i was doing it right. it was just a game, and i was winning, he said.

when i turned six, that was the first time he ever drove me to another man's house and left me there, but i figured out real quick what the purpose was. 2007 was the year he started trafficking me on top of molesting and raping me himself. my brother's mom never asked any questions, never asked me what happened while i was gone, let alone where i had gone. no one, when i was with my father on his weekends, cared enough to think it was weird. how could they not, though? i would come home limping, bleeding into my underwear (not that anyone else knew that), quiet & withdrawn. i cried a lot. i hid a lot. i just don't understand how nobody thought anything was wrong.

it was not the first time.

and the abuse went on for nine years in total.

i have had my father try to drown me - or, at least, enough to incapacitate me so i couldn't fight back (he told me "just remember what i could do if you get any ideas about telling"). i have had a grown man hold a knife to my throat and tell me that if i misbehaved, i wouldn't even have time to scream, he'd slit it so fast. i have had another chain me to his bed and tell me that god must have put me there in his bed, it was meant to be - i was unconscious at first because of being drugged but i woke up "just in time," as he put it. i have had men wrap their hands around my throat and squeeze, just to scare me but sometimes they'd do it until i passed out. i have had a man force me to wrap my mouth around the barrel of a gun, telling me it would only take a twitch of his finger to send a bullet through my brain. he then held it to my head while he raped me. i thought, for sure, that i was going to die that day. i knew by then that you don't mess around with guns for a reason; that only made it more terrifying. i knew, just like with the knife, that these things were not toys.

there's worse details i could give, but i don't think i can bring myself to do it. typing even just this much out was so hard. i keep trying to grapple with the brutality and violence of it all, but how can i? i was under ten years old for a lot of the stuff here. i was scared. i didn't want to die, and i didn't want anyone i loved to get hurt because they threatened me with that, too. i was so fucking scared all the time. it breaks my heart to think about it now. i really do wish i could go back and at least hug that little girl. i spent so long thinking i could easily lose my life whenever it was my father's weekend - now i tell my family i love them multiple times in a row because there was once a time i thought i'd never get the chance again.

it's so heavy, trying to carry all of this. especially since i've been doing it mostly alone (grandma knows some things) since i was four. i don't know what else to do here if not vent about the things that are bothering me. it does help a little bit, but not enough. not in the way i need. that's why i'm getting ready to get back into counseling.

it just fucks me up thinking about how my father had a very specific timeline for it. i don't know how else it'd be in perfect increments of one year. he planned it all out. he literally had a fucking game plan for ruining my childhood. that was how much it mattered to him.

i didn't get to be a child and now i don't feel like i'm as grown up as i should be at 22 years old.

[deliriousfangirl61]

Calla Lillies [Jake "Hangman" Seresin] Chapter I

Jake "Hangman" Seresin x Hailey Dugan

Masterlist [~~~~]

18+

Series Warnings: Mentions of child abuse, smut (later on in the series), age gap? (like 6 years because I feel like Jake is around like 32/33, lemme me know if you disagree), cursing. MINORS PLEASE DO NOT INTERACT 18+ content in later chapters.

----------------------

Jake "Hangman" Seresin was finally settling into his new posting in North Carolina. He is back up in the air after his last mission and back to raising hell like always. Yet he can't help but miss The Dagger Squad and after watching Liv and Rooster tie the knot he is feeling just a tad bit lonely and longing for something more. Not that he would ever admit it though. However when he gets some new neighbors in the form of a stunning 26 year old plant-shop owner and a 7 year-old boy, Jake just might feel that tiny little whole in his chest filling. His new neighbor is kind yet fierce, and as she struggles to navigate the new realm of guardianship over her younger brother her next door neighbor is more help then she could have every imagined.

***Important!!! This chapter contains scenes of abandonment, alludes to child abuse and just is kind sad so be warned, and take care of yourselves!

My head is spinning, the handful of Advil I took earlier has done nothing to ease the pain. The plane once again jolts as it hits a batch of turbulence. I sigh softly.

God I hate flying.

I clutch my bag that is sitting in my lap harder. Thirty more minutes and then this god awful plane ride will be over.

Yeah just thirty minutes, easy peasy Hailey. You got this.

I'm going to have to do this again, maybe in a few days or maybe in a few weeks. The only difference is the next time I board a flight back home to North Carolina there will probably be a 7 year-old with me.

Holy fucking shit.

I have no doubts about this being the right thing to do. I never had anyone to step up and take care of me when my mom went off the rails. That is not something I want for my little brother, despite the facet that I didn't even know he existed until four days ago. No even despite that I know it's the right thing to do. However the gravity of the fact that I, may soon, be in charge of the care of a child is terrifying. Absolutely terrifying.

Holy Crap.

I have a little brother. His name is Lucas, he's 7. He probably has no idea I exist, the same as I him before last week.

I really hope I am not making a mistake. What if he wants nothing to do with me. I wouldn't blame him.

I don't know how I would react if a stranger showed up when I was seven to take me to a different state. He's probably not old enough to realize how awful our mother is yet.

Remember Hailey, don't talk bad about her in front of him.

The pilot's voice cracks over the intercom and he gives the final warning that we will be starting our descent soon.

I glance out the window. The morning sun is just now starting to peak out over the horizon and it is illuminating and the vast bleak and dead Arizona greats me.

I never thought I would be back here. In fact when I left over a decade ago I swore I would never step foot in this state again, simply because it's the same state that my mother existed in. I never wanted to see her again after I left. Still don't.

Now I'm back.

And I'm back to take guardianship of a kid.

That I have never met, or knew existed.

Who would've thought.

Not me.

I sigh softly and turn away from the window. I focus on making sure my seatbelt is tight and secure. Something I've probably done twenty times now.

I really hate flying.

I'm thankful for this mostly empty flight. At least the only people who have really noticed my anxiousness are the flight attendants. They gave me reassuring smiles as they offered me beverages and gave me looks of pity when I downed my Advil.

They must think I'm a mess.

The plane touches down on the tarmac with two big hops that make my heart sink into my stomach. My knuckles turn white as I grip my bag.

God I don't want to be on this plane anymore.

When the plane pulls up to the gate I unclip my seatbelt and stand, slinging my purse over my shoulder and reach for my small duffel. I didn't bring all that much. The cps social worker had assured me that I probably wouldn't be here for more than a week. If so I'll find a laundry mat.

The air is hot and sticky, despite it being just past 7:00 am. I feel the heat wash over me as I step off the plane and into the gate.

Hello Arizona, I have really not missed you.

My phone is off airplane mode now and I send a message to Matthew. Telling him that I landed. He won't respond, but at least I'm trying. I shouldn't be, but I am. That stubbornness my own mother use to complain about is still deep inside me, even if I should probably just let it go.

I can't think about Matthew right now. No, I need to focus on getting to the courthouse. Erica Adler, the attorney who took Lucas's case said if I want to petition the court for guardianship I need to be at the courthouse by 8:30. It's 7:45, and I still need to hail a cab and change.

Thankfully, hailing a cab is easy.

He turns up the AC as I slide into the backseat. Thank goodness. If it's one thing I didn't miss about Arizona is the blistering heat that is already raging on despite the early morning.

I glance at the driver one time before slipping my court clothes out of my bag.

I wish I could say this is my first time getting dressed in the back seat of a car. I slip the skirt over the leggings before shedding those and shoving them into my bag. I pull the jacket on over my tank top, and pull my hair up into a clip.

The cab pulls in front of the court house at 8:17.

"Thank you."

I stumble slightly as I step out of the cab. Goodness I haven't worn heels in a while.

The sweltering heat seems overwhelming as I climb the stairs to the courthouse. I can't even tell if the sweating is from nerves or from the heat. Probably a mixture of both, if I'm being honest with myself.

A cop is leaving as I'm entering and he holds open the door for me. I don't miss the look he sends me. I probably look frazzled.

Breathe Hailey.

Your about to try to convince a judge that you are capable and mature enough to take guardianship over a child you have never met.

The blast of AC of the courthouse is a welcome feeling. The security guard gives me an odd look before asking for my bags.

"Business?"

"My name is Hailey Dugan, and I'm here for the Lucas Saunders case."

"Ms. Dugan!"

My head snaps to the side, past the metal detectors a pretty but tired looking women stands. She waves to me offering me a small smile.

"She's with me Dawson, we got court in 10 minutes please hurry her through."

Dawson the security guard nods, his demeanor changes and he offers me a kind smile as he motions me to step through the metal detector. Another security guard studies the screen for a few moments before giving me a nod and a thumbs up.

Eric smiles at me as I grab my bags. "It's a pleasure to meet you Ms. Dugan." She extends her hand.

I shift my bags in my hand. "It's nice to mee you too" I say softly, I feel like if I talk any louder I'll stutter.

"We can hand those off to my while you go before the judge. You have a very good case, you have a very stable source of income, you have no criminal record, or any report of drug or alcohol abuse. Your own pass with Denise allows the judge to see that you understand the situation that Lucas is in. Honestly, your a blood relative, it is very unlikely that they will deny you to take over guardianship of Lucas. There's also the fact that you hopped on a plan at 3 am this morning to make this court hearing, which shows your dedication." Erica is rambling which I appreciate because the nerves are bubbling in my stomach.

"Ms. Dugan?"

My eyes snap up to meet hers. "Yes."

There's a soft smile on her lips. "I know this is a lot. Are you absolutely sure you want to do this."

"Yes." I don't hesitate and she nods.

She glances at her watch. "The previous court hearing seems to be dragging on a little longer than expected. Would you like to see him?"

I glance back at the security officer as if he'll get mad that she fibbed a little to usher me along. He is helping someone else now not concerned with me.

Erica is staring at me again, that soft pitiful smile.

"Am I allowed too?"

She nods. "Yes you are, you're his family too Ms. Dugan."

"Yes I would very much like too."

Erica nods, and she leads me down one of the many corridors in the courthouse. Her assistant grabs my bags from me, allowing me to slip out the folder of all the things Erica said might help my case. My heels clack loudly on the floors.

I should have worn flats.

Erica stops in front a large oak door.

Break Room.

She looks back at me once before pushing the door open. A man greets us first, gives us one nod before stepping out of the way.

A cartoon is playing on the old box TV. Except I couldn't care less about the loud TV. Sitting at the large table with a bag of chips and a soda is a dirty blonde curly haired boy. Big blue eyes are trained on the TV as he absentmindedly shoves a few chips into his mouth. My eyes fall to the dark blue cast on his right hand. A small cut that is scabbed over fall beneath the mop of curls on his forehead. My heart drops, and a lump forms in my throat.

God Denise look at what you've done.

"Lucas."

The boys head turns slowly his eyes turn from Erica to me.

"This is Hailey, do you remember us telling you about her?"

He nods softly, those big blue eyes are taking me in.

"Hi Lucas, it's really nice to meet you. Do you mind if I sit."

He shakes his head before turning his head to look down at the table.

I pull out the chair that is next to him and slowly lower myself down. He's nervous. Lucas fiddles with a string that is caught on his cast.

I sigh softly.

"Have they explained why I am here Lucas?"

Lucas nods his head.

"I know this must be really hard for you Lucas, I know you probably don't want to leave mom..."

"She's gonna be real mad if I leave." Lucas cuts me off and my heart aches at his statement.

He's too young to be like this. Too little.

"Do you want to leave Lucas, it's okay if you do, you know. I left too, a long time ago. It doesn't mean you don't love her." I say softly.

Lucas looks up at me, those big blue eyes look so sad and it's breaking my heart.

"I don't really wanna stay, mom's gonna be angry though. She always tells me it's just her and me and that she's all I got." Lucas mutters almost so softly I don't hear him.

"You don't need to worry about mom, I will take care of that." I promise, and it's true he won't need to worry about that anymore.

I just met him, but I have no doubt that I want to protect him from everything now. Even our own mom.

"I always wanted a sister." Lucas admits breaking the silence that fell over us.

I think I already love this kid.

"Oh yeah?" I grin softly.

He nods.

"Well I've always wanted a brother."

Lucas smiles at that. "So I'm gonna go live with you?"

I glance at Erica, unsure of how I'm supposed to approach the question.

"That's the hope Lucas, we have to go talk to the judge first."

Lucas nods.

"Is that okay with you?" I ask.

Lucas thinks for a moment. "Can you cook?"

I laugh softly at the random question. "Yes I can."

"Okay."

Lucas turns away and back towards the television. Whether he was saying it was okay that he may have to live with me or acknowledging my statement, I have no clue.

"We should go." Erica says tapping me on the shoulder.

"Alright." I nod before turning back to Lucas, he is already staring at me. "I'll be back."

"Promise?" Lucas sticks out his right hand, poking out his pinky.

My heart squeezes. "Promise." I whisper entertwining our fingers.

Erica leads me out of the room, and I can't help but clutch the folder in my hands tired

8 minutes.

That is all it took for me to become attached to that little boy. This morning I was questioning if I was insane for thinking if I could take care of a kid, and now, I don't know if I can leave Arizona without him.

Erica has kept it brief when we first talked about what had happened. I just know the basics. Denise was drunk and she was supposed to be taking Lucas to the pool. She blew through a stop light.

Some things never change.

"Are you ready? If you'd like we can go over what you're going to say to the judge." Erica asks me.

I shake my head. "I'm alright, I'm ready."

Erica nods and I see something flash in her eyes as she looks at me.

Admiration? Pity?

Who knows.

She leads me to a large court room, and she tells me to take a seat at the front row before going through to the large desk directly in front of me. When the time comes she will announce to the judge that a blood relative has been found who is willing to take guardianship over Lucas. At that moment I will be able to address the court.

Just breathe Hailey.

I smooth down the wrinkles in my skirt.

Just breathe.

Another lawyer walks in and he gives Erica a curt nod before looking at me. Goosebumps form on the back of my neck. Erica tenses slightly, but she still tries to send an encouraging smile my way. After a moment she leans over the railing to speak to me.

"It's Denise's lawyer, he might be petitioning for Lucas to return to your mothers care but that is highly unlikely. I knew this might happen just stay calm." She tells me quietly.

I nod leaning back in my seat.

Stay calm. Breathe.

"All rise for the honorable Judge Samuel Wilkins." A bailiff booms and I scramble to my feet.

Here we go.

After a moment we are allowed to sit and I sink back into the bench. My stomach is in knots.

"First on the docket, placement of Lucas Saunders. If no one steps forward the child will be put into the system permanently."

No, no, no that can't happen.

"Good morning judge, I am Erica Adler attorney appointed by the state and with working with CPS and family services we have found a blood relative that is willing to take responsibility for the care of the child." Erica's voice is even confident.

"Is the relative here?"

"Yes judge."

Erica turns and gestures for me to stand, as I push myself my feet Denise's lawyers speaks up.

"Judge, my name is Henry Faltin and I am representing Denise Saunders. She is petitioning the court for her son to return to her care."

She has to be kidding. She get's drunk off her ass and blows through her stop sign injuring her kid and has the nerve to just ask for him back like nothing happened?

Anger bubbles in my chest.

Just breathe.

"With all do respect Counselor, it has only been five days since Ms. Saunders incident that put Lucas in the care of the state. It is premature to ask that he be put back into her care." Erica rebuts and I can hear the annoyance in her voice.

Judge Wilkins peers over his glasses at us. "I am inclined at this moment to agree with Mrs. Adler counselor. Ms. Saunders needs help, and at this time we are unaware of the standing of the DUI charges brought against her. At this time I will not be allowing arguments for the child to be returned to his mother out of concern for the child." His tone is firm, unarguable.

Attorney Faltin nods but I can see his Adams apple bob. He is angry, or annoyed. He glances back at me, his eyes narrowing just slightly. I stare back, I won't waver.

She doesn't deserve to have him back so easily... or at all.

Breathe.

"Mrs. Adler please continue."

Erica nods and turns back to me.

"Permission to have Ms. Dugan approach my bench Judge?"

"Granted."

A court officer opens the gate for me and I walk to stand next to Erica who gives me an encouraging nod.

"I present Mrs. Hailey Dugan Judge, the child's half sister."

"Ms. Saunders is also your biological mother?" Judge Wilkins glances up from the file in his hands.

"Yes Judge."

He nods glancing back down at his file.

"I see one other child listed under Denise Saunders, the name is not Hailey Dugan though."

"Yes Judge, I changed my name when I was 18, it's..."

"I see it, I can understand the want to change it Ms. Dugan." There's a ghost of a smile on his lips.

My lips twitch upward.

"So you are willing to expect guardianship over Lucas Saunders, is that correct?" He allows the fills in his hands to fall closed and his hands move to clasp together in front of him.

"Yes Judge."

"What makes you suited to take guardianship over a child Ms. Dugan?"

His tone is calm and soft, despite the derogatory words I know he doesn't mean them like that. He wants me to prove I am responsible.

I take a deep breathe.

"I know this case seems odd judge. Before today I have never met my little brother, but I understand him in ways a lot of people couldn't. I ran away from my biological mother Denise Saunders when I was 15. Before that I was removed temporarily twice. After I ran away I ended up in the foster system in multiple states. Without meaning any disrespect Judge, the foster system is not something I want for Lucas. I have the means to care for him financially, I own my own business that provides a very steady source of income. I am in the market of a house already instead of a rental property so soon I will have the space a growing child needs. I have also compiled my financial and other documents here for you." I hold up the folder in my head and the Judge order the court officer to bring it to him.

He begins to rifle through it. "Judge I boarded a plane at 3 am this morning after Ms. Adler informed me of the pushes up court date. I have no doubts about my dedication to give Lucas what he needs. I understand exactly what he is going through. Mrs. Adler has also advised that if I do take guardianship over him that counseling is recommended. I've research child therapist in my area, you'll find their profiles in the folder as well."

My heart is pounding in my chest.

"This guardianship could turn permanent, or Mrs. Saunders could petition the court to regain custody. Are those things you are prepared for Ms. Dugan."

I swallow the lump in my throat.

"Yes judge."

He looks back down at the folder I gave him.

"You've compiled quite the documentation Ms. Dugan. I see the dedication."

My heart is going to pound out of my chest. I'm afraid if I look down I will find it actually pounded out of my chest and onto the table.

Breathe Hailey.

"Ms. Dugan, it is very rare that family members in cases like this take the amount of care and preparation for these circumstances. I am finding a deep admiration for what you have done and said today. You have also provided plenty of evidence that you will be able to support Lucas not just emotionally but materially and financially. With that being said I will allow Ms. Hailey Dugan to take custody and guardianship of Lucas Saunders."

His gavel pounds down. Erica is patting me on the back. Attorney Faltin is standing again, scrambling to get a word in.

"Judge! Ms. Dugan lives in North Carolina, surely the court cannot allow the child to be relocated so far from his mother."

"I saw Ms. Dugan's address of living Mr. Faltin. At this point in time I believe this ruling is in the best interest of the child. Should Ms. Saunders be found of no ill-doing involving the incident, the custody of the child can be revisited. For now he will be relocating with Ms. Dugan in North Carolina."

Judge Wilkins turns his attention to me. "Good luck Ms. Dugan." He gavels once more. "Next docket."

Erica is turning me in the direction of the side exit. I nearly freeze as I glance out into the gallery. Erica is still guiding me, but through the faces of strangers, in the back corner of the court room, glaring at me, is no other than Denise. My mom. Her icy eyes follow me and I am unable to look away.

11 years, that's how long it's been. That icy stare use to make me want to run and hide under my bed. Now I just feel angry.

You don't get to hurt him anymore.

I want to scream it at her.

But I can't.

instead I turn my head staring at the exit. She doesn't get a reaction. Not anymore.

Erica is staring at me a happy smile on her face.

"What now?" I ask a little breathless.

"There's some documents we will need to sign and get notarized. Luckily we are in a courthouse." She grins.

"What about Denise?"

Erica's smile drops. "I expect their will be petitions for phone calls and visitation, but until her DUI get's resolved there's nothing much they can do."

"She was drunk driving can they really dispute that."

Erica sighs. "Sadly yes, there are lawyers who excel in DUI argumentation and debate. Sadly Faltin is one of them. However her having a minor in the car is going to complicate it. Truly we won't know what's gonna happen. But for now you and I are gonna get the legal documents sorted and we are gonna prepare for you to take Lucas home."

I nod.

We begin walking down the corridor.

"Erica?"

"Yes."

"Judge Wilkins said it could be temporary."

"He's right."

"What if I don't want it to be temporary?"

"I suggest when you get home to North Carolina you get yourself a lawyer. If Denise is found guilty adopting Lucas will be easy. If not well..." Erica trails off.

I understand.

Erica continues down the corridor and I let the silence fall over us.

Wow.

15 minutes.

That's about how long we were actually in that courtroom.

15 minutes.

That's all it took to change my life forever.

It's worth it, I knew it was worth it from the second I laid eyes on that blue-eyed boy. Lucas is worth it. He doesn't deserve the hurt, pain and anger Denise leaves in her wake. He doesn't deserve those beautiful blue eyes to be drowning in waves of sadness.

I don't care if Matthew leaves me, or if I just changed my life forever. Lucas deserves to be a happy and carefree kid. It's not right that it was taken away from him already with the crash and our mother's inability to just do what's right for her kids.

It makes me angry that Lucas is going through this. He doesn't deserve it. I didn't deserve it.

Breathe Hailey.

Alright you did it Hailey. You now are the guardian of a seven year old, what's your plan?

Oh boy, there's no plan is there?

[~~] I KNOW GUYS AND IM SORRY!! I guess it's just gonna be a trend that the first chapters of my fics are a bit sad. So sorry about that!

BUT! On the Brightside! Calla Lilies Chapter I is up!

Are you guys excited.

I'm excited.

A few notes: As you may have noticed Hailey has a lot of internal dialogue. I will use that a lot in this fic, so I hope you guys like it.

Also I will be making a taglist so just comment below on my fics and I will put you guys on it!

I hope you guys enjoyed it.

[~~~~] Next Chapter- Coming Soon

[kaittalkstoomuch]

hey everyone! It’s ‘86 baby! ♥️

‘86 // Chapter Eight: Roxie’s Revelations

Tw: mentions of abandonment, horror elements, slight smut VERY SLIGHT (Roxie imagines things), angst.

The Evening of March 21, 1986

*Roxie’s POV*

“Hey you two be careful tonight.” Steve says as he and Robin help unloading the car full of beer, snacks, etc. “Don’t worry ‘dad’, we will.” I tease Steve setting the items by the door of the cabin while Robin chortles by the car. Steve laughs along with us but gets serious. “I don’t sound like your father.” “Yes you do. You do with Dustin too. It’s cute actually. Of course, I don’t blame you, he does get carried away. Like, last summer… or a few months prior around Thanksgiving… and the year before that.” “Oh yeah…. With the mall… and THE RUS-“ “ROBIN!” Steve shouts panicked.

Robin and Steve stare at each other. “What? She knows about the Upside Down, Steve. She’s not fucking stupid.” Robin says as she carries more stuff along and Steve looks at me stunned. “How?” I laugh at the specific moment I heard of the environment. Dart. One day, I believe a year after Will Byers disappeared, I ran into the little creature while taking a shower. I was almost done washing my body when I heard a noise and as the curious cat I am, I stopped the shower to investigate. When he suddenly moved, I screamed for Dustin. I was sure he had something to do with it. “DUSTIN!” I remember barging in his room with Dart.

The boy was shocked and scared to say anything. I was fully clothed, frantic. Dart was wrapped in a towel like a baby. “Roxie… I can explain.” “Tell me what your little friend is and why he was in the bathroom?” Dustin was a bit terrified to tell me. “Dustin..” “Fine, sit down. There’s so much and you can’t tell anyone. Promise on our mother.” I close the door and go to sit on his bed with him. “Promise.” That’s when he spilt the beans, well, not all of its when Billy Hargrove and supposedly Jim Hopper died, both Robin and Dustin told me everything. From the Starcourt Mall, to the Russians secret base, to the Mind Flayer, and finally, to Billy. This is also when I hear of the “Never Ending Story” segment with Suzie. Not gonna lie, I would’ve loved to see that, but they had a mission to complete.

“So, you knew about it this whole time? What the hell Rox?” Steve asks as I get antsy. “Yes, my brother told me, a lot. I’m sworn to secrecy, ON OUR MOTHER!” “Yeah! On their mother!” Robin tries to help. “Okay, fine, but Eddie doesn’t know at least, right?” I shake my head, waving my hands. “No, he’d be terrified. He wouldn’t even believe it. Yes, he plays Dungeons & Dragons, but he would FREAK. Hell, I only believed it because when I first saw Dart, he didn’t look like any type of creature in this dimension. And then with the Russian base underneath the mall, I knew to keep quiet… Oh, by the way Steve.” “Yeah?” I smile at Robin and she smiles back. “Oh god.” I hear Steve utter under his breath. “I heard you also won your first fight, great job.. A Russian, too… in that goddamn Scoops Ahoy uniform.”

Steve groans resting his face in both palms of his hands as Robin and I laugh. “I’m gonna strongly assume your asshat brother told you.” Steve irritatedly says. “Yep, and that they drugged you and Robin.” My eyes narrow as if I’m questioning him. “Did you really call him ‘Dad’? Stevie boy, I know you got issues with your father, but damn a fourteen year old boy?” “Laugh it up, Rox.” Steve says. “Okay, I’ll stop. Mostly because of my own issues with my own father. I’m sorry.” Steve hugs me as I look at Robin confused and she just shrugs. “It’s okay Roxie, I understand. I just wanted to make sure everyone in that secret base was safe. Robin, Dustin, Erica and I. It was wild.” I nod. “I bet. You really beat the shit outta that Russian huh?” “Oh hell yeah I did. Got a shiner too!” “Yeah he did!” Robin says. “Good!” Robin then clears her throat with an “ahem”. Steve and I stop hugging and look at Robin confused. “What?”

“It’s getting super late and Eddie should almost be done with his thing. Rox, I don’t think you’d want us to watch-“ “Okay, yeah. Yeah? You guys go ahead and go, I’ll put the stuff away. I’ll see you guys tomorrow!” I say hugging both of them. “Thank you for the goods.” “Yeah, you’re welcome, have a good night.” Steve says waving by his car with Robin by the passenger door. “Oh and Steve, try not to… get excited with ‘Fast Times’, ‘Kay?” I laugh as Steve playfully flips me off.

I turn to open the door and light the cabin up in its glory. “Home sweet home.” I sigh, putting the items down, then taking my boots off. Man, I love them but my feet are killing me. Ignoring that, however, I go to put everything in the fridge or in the pantry. I grab a lighter I stole from Eddie and light the candles. I go to make sure the bed is made, even though that won’t last for long. My mind starts to wander of the things we’d do.

Once everything is set up, I go to my bag and grab an old shirt of Eds and a pair of shorts while imagining the polar opposite. Eddie would tear them off. He would sit me on the edge of the bed, lay me down while climbing on top of me. Our lips would be on fire and our tongues would be fighting for dominance. Eddie would grip on my hips, possibly causing some bruising. The way he’d kiss along my jawline to meet my sweet spot, only then to suck on it so harshly yet delicate.

My mind starts veering away from those thoughts. It’s now in worry territory. How is the deal going? Is he okay? Is Chrissy okay? Are they both okay? Oh god. What if somehow Chrissy actually was using this as an opportunity to get with Eddie? No, no Roxanne. Don’t think that way. Eddie would NEVER do that to you. Nor would Chrissy. Why am I thinking like this? Ugh. I go grab a beer from the fridge and crack it open. It'll possibly calm my nerves. I just hope everything is okay.

I go back and start playing “Rhiannon” on a music player I brought from my house. It’s my go-to song for when I get way into my thoughts. Something about its lyrics speak to me. It’s stuck with me ever since Dad left. Anything I would be alone, I would play the song just so that I wouldn’t be alone. Actually, any song of Fleetwood Mac or Stevie Nicks would save me, but “Rhiannon” normally does the trick. I love when Eds sings it to me, it adds a special touch. I look at the Polaroids on the wall, holding my beer and humming the lyrics. “Would you stay if she promised you heaven? Will you ever win?” Stevie and I sing in unison.

I look at the one picture with the Hellfire club. God, Dustin is so goofy. I definitely know what his reaction would be if Eddie left. Though, Eddie would definitely hurt me, or Dustin. He took Dustin under his wing and loves him like a younger brother. Chrissy seems like a sweet girl, too. She is a sweet girl. She wouldn’t harm a fucking fly. She seems too content with that asshole Jason, which irks me too. Chrissy is way too sweet and pretty for Jason. She deserves to be happy without him. She strongly deserves it.

I pull out a walkie talkie Dustin gave me for emergencies from one of the drawers. Apparently, when Will went missing, it was a major source of communication between the kids. So, I guess I should test it out. “Dustin.” I whisper, buzzing from the beer. “Dusty Bun, do you copy?” I whisper. The walkie talkie starts making noise, slightly startling me as the lights flicker a bit. “Hey Rox, do you have any idea what time it is?” Dustin smart mouths me. “Yeah… sorry. Eddie still hasn’t come by after the deal and I’m worried.” “Rox, y’know there’s nothing to worry about. He REALLY loves you.”

I laugh. “I know, I know. It’s just taking so long, and I miss him. I’m worried for both him and Chrissy.” Dustin laughs over the walkie. “You’re just lonely in the cabin. I’m sure it’s fine and he’ll be there soon.” KNOCK KNOCK. I stop in my tracks as the lights flicker a bit again and look at the door from the bed and go quiet. “Roxie…. ROXIE GRACIE! Is everything okay? Do you copy?” I wince at the old nickname I had since I was a kid. “Ew Dustin, don’t call me that.” I lift the walkie talkie to my mouth. “And yeah, yeah. There was a knock.” KNOCK KNOCK. It goes again.

I get up from the bed and go to the door slowly as the lights start flickering. I grab the bat with nails, a gift from Steve also for emergencies. “Rox-“ “Shh! It could be Eddie, but it doesn’t explain the lights.” “The lights what-“ “It’s probably just faulty electricity. I gotta go, I love you.” “O-okay. If anything happens you radio me. I love you too. Be careful Roxie. Over and out.” Dustin reluctantly says as he goes out. My hand wraps around the door knob and I turn it nervously. “Landslide” begins playing as my nerves rise once again. The lights continue flickering as I open the door, meeting a somber, drained Eddie. “What the hell?” I think to myself. “Eddie… What happened?… Baby?” Eddie says nothing and falls into my arms motionless.

“Eddie, what happened?” I help him inside and slam the door shut. I go straight to the bed with him in my arms. I set him down, not wanting to let go as the lights flicker. He winces a bit at it, making me worried. I hold his face and examine him. He’s been crying, his eyes are red. Bloodshot. The only way they’re lighting up is by the Christmas lights. “I’m gonna grab a drink okay?” I say almost walking away when I hear a soft yet alarmed, “ROXIE, NO!” He grabs my wrist, fear stricken. I go back to him and sit on his lap and wrap my arms around his neck and he holds me extremely close. I cup his face in my hands and look more. Something happened. Something definitely happened. The lights flicker again and he hugs me tightly. “Eds, baby.” I stroke his messy curls, looking into his doe eyes that are filled with horror. The energy seemingly sucked out of them. “Eddie what happened?” “Landslide” is about to end. Eddie’s cherry lips part. “Ch-Chrissy… Chrissy’s dead.”