#cancer cw

[in-sufficientdata]

This can be a huge source of medical trauma and it's so cruel that it's being imposed on people by the medical establishment itself. How can they help but feel anything but helpless? There's no fighting that.

I can't help but think of this from my own perspective as a fibromyalgia patient who keeps having to fight being thought of as (or even being labeled as) drug-seeking.

I am literally just trying to live life closer to the standard that 'normal' people have every day.

Why is it in any way fair that most people are mostly pain-free and capable of doing the things they want to do, but I have to suffer with pain on a daily basis that is at minimum, on a very rare, very good day, at level 5?

Why is it when I report that my pain level is at level 7, 8, 9, I only get doctors side-eyeing me and explaining my OTC options?

I have had chronic pain since I was 8. I'm very fucking aware of my OTC options, so no thank you, doc.

And when I spend 20 minutes explaining in detail that my daily pain has noticeably increased and changed in quality since around January 1st, why should I have my PCP giggle at me every time I say that I need help with managing my pain and learning ways to deal with it?

It felt incredibly invalidating and I wish he would have said, look, I don't have the expertise to help you, so here's a referral to a pain specialist.

I only found out there was a such thing by trying to research the topic after this on my own!

So yeah, it's not just the insurance companies, it's the doctors, too.

It's almost like having a profit-motivated medical establishment hurts patients.

[snarp]

Local hospital system announces that oncology department has "reconsidered its allegiances" and is now on the cancer's side.

[luthienne]

[simplepotatofarmer]

i took my youngest to the pediatrician today and the youngest mentioned that they understand cancer because a youtuber they loved got sick and passed away. and immediately the doctor says, oh i think i know who you mean.

it turns out her kids were huge fans of techno and she had watched some of his videos because that's just what you do when you're a parent and your kids watch something. she let my youngest talk about techno for a bit and said that her kids liked the 'skypixel' videos. we didn't correct her. it was just so nice to know there's so many people out there that remember techno, that love him.

[addictedtostorytelling]

"okay, doctor. it's quite simple: i have a brain tumor. glioblastoma multiforme. bummer, huh? it gets better: i found out that it's inoperable."

[girlhorse]

if anyone has any money they could donate it would be appreciated.

if my posts have been a bit confusing the breakdown is my mom was diagnosed with (a very bad) brain cancer & is going thru treatment currently. i moved cross country to get to her and move in with her and on top of that i have to live with my childhood abuser (step father). It's causing extreme distress but im broke and i dont have a lot of options. i am out of a job currently but have an interview Tuesday. anything helps. i wasnt able to work for a month due to the news & the move. i have bills to pay and i dont know when my next paycheck will be. thank you

ko-fi

venmo - @enzobenzoo

[armoricaroyalty]

Through fire and storm, the stone and slate of Morley Cottage had been its salvation. Older and grander buildings had been fallen into ruin, but the unassuming house had stood through the decades, a safe haven for generations of St. Fleurs. It was where Andre had taken his first steps, nearly sixty years before. It was the site of his last conversation with his mother. Swaying slightly, Andre rose to his feet. The conversation fell away, puzzled silence settling over the room as seven expectant faces turned toward him. There were tears in Elise's eyes. He forced himself to look away.

Previous | Chapter Start | Beginning | Next

author's note: so...this is it, the thing I've been building toward since the very beginning.

If you'd like to know more about how I plan to handle cancer as a subject (and a list of the tags I'll be using), click here.

Transcript beneath the cut.

ANDRE | Excuse me...I'll uh, try to keep this brief. I think we all know I'm not much of a public speaker.

A thin ripple of laughter. Amidst the uncertainty, Andre could feel Freddy seeking his gaze, but he kept his eyes down. It was too much like looking in a mirror.

ANDRE | There's something I've been keeping from you. And...I'm sorry. Last week, I...I...I... [ choking ] I'm sorry, I can't--

The silence in that room was profound. No one dared speak, no one dared breathe. Only Elise was unaffected by the dreadful atmosphere; she was on her feet the moment tears began to roll down Andre's cheeks.

There was only one thing she could do for him now.

ELISE | There's no easy way to say this, so...I'll just say it. Last week, your father met with his oncologist for a routine screening. He got the results two days ago. The cancer is back. And this time, it's terminal.

[realpokemon]

The first time i saw ur hospital pick i thought they put a ditto in ur fucking IV bag

they put a ditto in my blood to invent cancers you’ve never even fucking heard of

[schrijverr]

I'm looking into blood thinners for fics ideas to maybe write and, y'all, side effects can include dizziness, nausea, tiredness, bloody noses that last less than 10 minutes and hair loss. There is so much fucking angst potential in the 118 not talking to Buck for a little while due to the lawsuit only to run into him (maybe even during the grocery store scene) and it's a bad day for him and his meds, only for everyone to come to some very, very wrong conclusions about what has happened to Buck's health in the time they didn't see him. Like, what are you going to think if you see zombie Buck with medicinal hair loss, dabbing away a bloody nose as he sways a little with a screwed up face? Nothing good, that's what.

[oscconfessions]

bfb au where everything is the same except x has breast cancer

.

[inevitably-johnlocked]

What's Been Going On.

Hey gang.

First off, before I make a cut, I just want to thank y'all for your patience and understanding the past couple months with my... distinct lack of interesting posting. I really appreciate it. I spend so much time here that I tend to eventually burn out and then feel bad when I physically can't provide y'all with new stuff. I love this blog and the community here, and I'm grateful that y'all are so understanding.

The TL;DR for those who aren't able to read below the cut due to the content warnings: I've lost 2 relatives in the past couple weeks, and one of them hit me very hard. I am sad, but I am trying my best to carry on. It will hurt for awhile, and I'm not okay right now, but I will be... I always am.

Below the cut, cw for descriptions of deaths, cancer, depression.

So, as I mentioned, I lost two family members in two weeks, almost exactly a week apart from each other. One, my youngest aunt (dad's sister) who I wasn't close with but I saw occasionally, from a sudden heart attack. The second, a little over a week later, was my uncle (dad's brother and my godfather) after a LONG battle with various cancers but the final one was leukaemia, and he passed away this past Monday. This is the one that hit me like a freight train because I was very close with this uncle.

For context, PRIOR to all of this, I haven't been sleeping well since just before the time change for some reason – so about a month or two. I just can't sleep through a whole night anymore, and it's frustrating and leaving me exhausted for weeks on end (the insomnia is important to note and it will be relevant in a sec).

Last year I think it was, maybe the year before, my uncle was diagnosed with throat cancer. He had undergone months of radiation and it went into remission. Then about a year or so, it came back as a different cancer, but I can't remember which one it was. Half a year ago, he got leukaemia, and was undergoing chemo and blood platelet replacement therapy for a few months.

On Remembrance Day weekend (November 11), the family found out that there was nothing more they could do for my uncle's treatments. This was devastating news for all of us to hear. Of course we hoped he would be okay until after Christmas, but his prognosis was already less-than-2-months after that revelation.

A week later, my aunt passed away suddenly. No pre-conditions other than probably being overweight and a heavy smoker, but my cousin (her 17-year-old daughter) found her in her room. I am closer with the cousin than the aunt, so I was texted by one of my other aunts at 2am Friday morning to talk to my cousin, since I have gone through a traumatic sudden-death of a parent and this cousin trusts and relates to me. And the only reason I saw the text was because I was already awake due to my insomnia. I called the cousin and stayed on the phone for 6 hours with her to ensure she was going to be okay. I took the day off work to sleep.

Exactly a week later, my uncle was rushed to the hospital with a brain bleed and pneumonia. I was texted by a DIFFERENT aunt, this one being the one I am closest to and knows how close I am to my uncle, last Thursday. I found out on the Friday I took off of work that he wasn't going to get better, that the bleed was essentially killing him slowly.

This uncle, for outsider understanding, essentially became a second father to me after my dad died and I moved to be closer to his family. He became the parent my mother wasn't. This uncle ensured I was always okay, and would drop everything for me. So to say I was devastated to learn that I was losing him forever brought up a lot of core memories from when my dad died is an understatement. First, my aunt dying young, like my dad, from a sudden heart attack, like my dad. Then my father figure in my life dying shortly after? Lots of turmoil this past couple weeks for me.

On Sunday, November 24, I said my final goodbye to my uncle, and he passed away on the 25th. It hurts so badly that I want to scream non-stop. I took that Monday off to grieve, and worked from home the rest of the week to sit in my grief alone. One of the things I am so grateful for was that I was able to say goodbye to him, and to tell him how much he meant to me, how much I love him. It gave me a sense of closure that I didn't have with my dad when he died. One of my biggest regrets about my dad passing is that morning he died, I never said "I love you" like I usually did because I was running late for work.

I did not want to make that mistake again. I got to hug my uncle, and tell him I love him so, so much, and I got to thank him for always being there for me when dad died. That he helped me through my grief when I finally did break three years after he died.

I let him know he was loved; I am so grateful for that opportunity.

I miss him so much it physically hurts.

Just because his death was inevitable, it doesn't make it any easier. It feels different than my dad's death, for sure, in the sense that I lost dad too young and unexpectedly. But it still hurts to lose someone I love even if I know he's leaving us. I am just glad he's not suffering anymore; he was in immense pain when I saw him last.

So, this past week, I have been sitting in my grief, crying at mundane things because they remind me of him or things we did together. I've played video games to distract my mind, and tried my best to work on this blog, albeit at a minimum.

The surprising thing I think about this whole ordeal is the immense support I'm getting from my coworkers, and my employer's understanding about my situation. I have a job that's primarily digital, so they've let me take as much time as I need to feel up to working fully again, and I am just EXHAUSTED, but I want to try to go back to the office on Monday, to get back to the routines that make me feel comfort. Work has said that if I'm having a hard time I can go back home, which, again, is so generous. I was at a different job when my dad died, and they didn't want me gone more than a week. This has been literally 2 weeks non stop of me working / not working / working from home..... I just cannot wait until Christmas break so I can finally just REST. I am extremely lucky to have the job I have, and I am very aware of that. The fact that they're letting me have more grievance leave than normal for a non-immediate family member boggles my mind, but again, I am grateful.

So yeah, that's what's been going on with me the past couple months. It's been chaotic, I'm tired, and very very lonely. AND to top it all off, I'm feeling my seasonal depression seeping in earlier than normal because of all this stress and anxiety, and I just... ugh. I need to get back to routine.

This is also why I'm doing the Christmas cards this year... because I want to have a bit of happiness this holiday season in what will probably be even more depressing than normal. My Dad's death-iversary is on January 11, and will be 17 years since his passing. It will be harder to cope with this year more than ever now, I think. Best I can do is continue to talk to my therapist to keep me from sinking further, and not bottle everything all up like I did 17 years ago.

Thank you all for your patience and understanding. I haven't been "feeling it" these past couple months, and I know it shows in the lack of content I've been posting or producing. But I am so grateful to this community for understanding without the context y'all didn't have before now, and I hope you guys understand that I won't feel like myself again for awhile.

I'll try my best, though.

Love y'all. 💜

[roguemonsterfucker]

Okay y'all.

Tomorrow my dad is having surgery to (hopefully) remove any cancer still in his body. I'll be spending the day with my sibling, who can't be left alone, while my dad and mom are at the hospital.

It's going to be a tiring day. And a stressful one.

So if y'all wanna help, please feel free to distract me with all sorts of questions or messages. My ask box is open, anon is on.

All I ask is that they aren't super sexual, since I will be with my sibling all day lol.

The day will start in about twelve hours (oh fuck i'm not gonna get any sleep 😭). I don't know how long this'll be. We're prepared for my dad to stay in the hospital overnight, but that shouldn't be the case. So it could be a super long day.

Anyways, thanks in advance for any distracting messages! I really appreciate y'all.

If you start sending them in now, I may go ahead and reply if I feel the urge to. But I'm gonna try to save them until I need a distraction tomorrow.

[wondrouswendy]

Family illness warning under the cut.

My mom is getting a biopsy tomorrow to see if she has cancer or something else. It’s been a very hard week since she received word of this last week. As you can imagine, this has been a lot considering the looming political shitstorm coming next year and onward.

It’s also been very hard because it’s just my mom and I. We’re all each other has after my dad passed away. She’s very scared and I’m trying my best to stay calm, to be optimistic, but it’s very hard to do. It’s like I’ve had a weight on my chest since the 8th.

I don’t believe in prayer, but my mom does. I know whatever the situation ends up being, it will be a challenge.

[rofax]

Since I'm "on the other side" of cancer for now, I feel like I can make jokes about it without jinxing everything.

[addictedtostorytelling]

"i can't believe they call it a tumor board."

[azuresquirrel]

So my friend that I posted about visiting in the cancer ward last week?

She passed away today.

She was my friend in my life for 12 years. I have drawings of hers hanging on my fridge. She was 36.

I am simply so tired of cancer.