#because even though i havent done one of those in a while its just One commission

[skunkes]

need to find a way to let people know that I usually accept comms outside of what I usually offer, without it sounding like an invitation to ignore my pre established openings or without sounding like I Do Take Those Comms Now All The Time

[listen-to-the-inner-walrus]

While we're here, I just want to add an example of a good response to Harris' video.

In the first half of the video, Harris briefly mentions a creator called Lukeypoo (who now goes by Luke Stephens) who had plagiarised Harris' Bloodborne review, and his response at the time was to deny it, signal to his alt right buddies and insult Harris.

After the video came out, Luke Stephens made a post on his community page regarding it:

For those, who can't see the screenshots, it reads:

A video went up on YouTube last night that showed something I did 6 years ago in early 2017, of which I'm very ashamed. I've talked about it on stream plenty since then and try to be very open about it, but I know a lot of people haven't been watching me since 2017 or have not heard me discuss this before. I don't want to hide from my mistakes or deflect, so very plainly here's what happened:

I was just starting on YouTube and I ripped off a phenomenal video on Bloodborne. It was a fantastic video by hbomberguy and after finding it through a Reddit post I tried to take his 1.5 hour masterpiece and make my own suckier version at around 7 minutes. I copied the premise, jokes, structure, and then pretended like it was all just a coincidence that they were so similar. I was a 19 year old idiot who thought it didn't matter because "he's a bigger creator so it's fine" and "it's just the internet." When I was rightly called out for copying his video I dodged, lied, and even attacked and insulted the appearance of those holding me to account, including hbomberguy himself. I copied someone's video, in parts word-for-word, and I pretended like *I* was the victim and *they* were being unreasonable. Unbelievable. There is no question at all: I was in the wrong, fully.

Let me be very clear: I whole heartedly disown who I was back then and what I did. Politically, religiously, and even morally/ethically I was a person that I hate today. I was an extremist, a bully, a religious zealot, and above all, a prick. This event sparked a spiral in my personal life that I didn't document online, but that has led me to who I am today. Someone who tries very hard to respect my fellow creators, audience, and to uphold a high ethical standard for myself. I strive every day to be a better man for myself, my family and kids, and for the community around me. And that's why I'm writing this, because I don't think we should hide from our mistakes or pretend they didn't happen. I screwed up, big time, and I stole the hard work of an incredibly talented creator and for that I'm incredibly sorry. I was 19, hard headed, and above all arrogant and unwilling to acknowledge I had screwed up. It took a couple years after that before I could openly admit what I had actually done, and that it took that long is all the more shameful.

I don't expect a response or certainly forgiveness, but for what it's worth, I am truly sorry for everything, @hbomberguy

For the last 6 years I've been working my butt off to be someone I can be proud of being and I hope you all can see that the man I am today is not the shameful excuse of a person I was back then.

I've never watched a video or stream by Luke Stephens so I can't attest as to his content, but this is one of the best responses I've seen to any kind of accusation, and so I lean towards believing him to be a better man than he was six years.

I thinks it's important to highlight the good response/s to Harris' video, to remind ourselves that plagiarism is not such an immoral action that from which you can't redeem yourself (though in Somerton's case, I'm less sure of that) if you take accountability for your actions, and to remember that in most cases, we should give people space to grow and become better.

The swiftness and brutality of Hbomberguy’s complete evisceration of James Somerton’s career cannot be overstated.

[risingscorchingsuns]

hi guys it’s 5am and im having a mental breakdown so here’s some rengoku family analysis

kyojuro and shinjuro eternally two sides of the same coin. he may not have realized it, but both his parents died when ruka did. he grew up without a father, except his father is right there in the other room. he had to be the father for senjuro. he HAD to be, because Shinjuro wasn’t gonna do it. in his own words, “Senjuro has it even worse than I.” Kyojuro had to protect those weaker than him, had to be strong. Being strong was the only thing that gave him control. The only thing that made him feel worthwhile.

Kyojuro died without a dad. He died not knowing that Shinjuro would ever regret his actions. He died without the father he’s always been deprived of. But he still loved Shinjuro because it’s the only father he has. even though shinjuro failed him fundamentally. neglected him, abused him, scorned him. abandoned him utterly and completely. Kyojuro never stopped loving him because he’s his father’s son.

Kyojuro saw himself in Shinjuro. In ways that both inspired and terrified him. The death of Ruka, Shinjuro’s reaction, Kyojuro being so young. Shinjuro taught him how to grieve, whether he meant to or not. Both of them bury their pain, shove it all away into a place that will never be seen. The difference is Kyojuro grew up watching Shinjuro’s pain eat him alive, and started to bury his own in positivity. In strength. Finding his purpose in being strong, in supporting others. But at the end of the day, he is his father’s son. He’s still not allowing himself to feel grief. He’s still not allowing himself to rest. Because what is he if he isn’t strong? Who is Kyojuro, if he isn’t the Flame Hashira Rengoku?

Kyojuro is simultaneously determined to both reinspire his father, and to never turn out like him. He loved the man that Shinjuro was, the man that Kyojuro needed, the man that he died without. He was determined not to turn out the same way, to let his flames burn forever, until they burned him alive if they had to. To never give up the way his father did, to never let anyone down the way his father did. To never fail anyone, the way his father failed him. So he buries his pain in responsibility. No time to fail if you just never stop burning. He can’t let his grief taint him like it did his father. even in his final words he believed that. the flow of time waits for no one. it wont stand patiently by as you grieve. and while those words in of themselves are incredibly powerful, and an important lesson, i believe kyojuro internalized them to an unhealthy degree.

but while the words are something kyojuro lives by, in an ironic twist of fate he’s still a lot like Shinjuro himself. in his efforts to not turn out like him he’s done the same thing. he pushed aside his pain, held himself together so tightly. because he can never let anybody see that he’s hurting. he can never let anybody see that he’s anything less than Flame Hashira Rengoku, infallible pillar of strength and passion. kyojuro is always smiling when he looks at others. when he looks at senjuro. he’s keeping himself together so tightly. because he has to. because nobody else is going to do it. because if he doesn’t hold himself together he has nothing, he’s a mirror image of his father. they are two sides of the same coin. Kyojuro desperately yearning for the man Shinjuro used to be, while subconsciously determined not to turn into the man he is. and he stubbornly clings to that forever in hopes that he’ll be the one to inspire him, that he can bring shinjuro back. if he’s just strong enough. if hes just good enough. if he just works a little harder he can have his father back.

Heavy are the shoulders that wear the Flame Hashira haori. Heavy is the Rengoku family legacy.

i have no idea if this is coherent at ALL, it’s definitely not my best analysis, i havent proofread and its five in the morning lol. maybe when im more rested ill come back to this and do a proper essay with sources and context, but for now here’s some unpolished stream of consciousness ramblings with zero editing. kyojuro rengoku daddy issues i know what you are

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

aita for asking my mum to clean out the kitty litter trays even though its usually my chore

i drove to doctors and work this morning, i worked 8.30 till 5 she worked 8.30 til 4 and drove home after her shift ended to pick up my dance clothes for me (i only didnt have them because i had to stay late at work since 3 people went home sick).

my friend cancelled on me for dance tryouts so i spend the afternoon crying and eventually choose to go anyway because i was excited for hiphop but by this point my head is pounding.

i get out of work, she drives me to dance and goes to get macdonalds while she waits for me to get out. halfway through dance they mention we are not even doing hiphop today not until next week (u have to pay for the tryouts btw)

i get out 7.40ish. on the drive home im thinking "fuck its almost 8 i havent done any uni study, (i have 2 lectures, a quiz and like 8 readings that need to be done today and tomorrow), i havent spent any time with our cats or cleaned their litter trays yet."

for reference we have new cats and are introducing them into a house with a dog so rn we have them in one room and let them out occassionally while putting the dog out back, while i clean out the litter trays and top them up every day, once a week we empty them completely and clean them out

so we get home and i say "would it be too much to ask if you could please do the litter trays tonight" i try to explain that i have a headache and ive still got a lot of uni homework to do and i havent spent any time with the cats so i'd play with them for a bit while she cleans the trays and then do my homework

immeadiately she starts yelling at me that shes tired, she hasnt been home from work all day, she did it last time, shes done so many favours for me already today and blah blah blah.

the way i see it, first, i clean the kitty litter trays every day and vacuum their room. she has literally never done this, she emptied out and washed a tray last week because i was sick and got home from work and passed out. i (a learner btw so im very stressed when i drive) drove us to her appt and then to work, i worked more hours than her today, i danced all night with a headache, i also have not been home all day, after being cancelled on and then them not even doing the type of dance i wanted to do and i still have to do uni work tonight so i dont think im the selfish one here.

but sitting in my cats room while they eat their dinner i can hear her storm about and slam doors because shes so mad at me but i dont understand am i in the wrong here?

also literally as i am writing this she comes out and goes "tell me when youve finished dinner so i can let the cats out. and DONT leave it too late" while my food is literally cooking as we fucking speak jfc.

i have a bit of a diary where i write when mum is mad at me because if i mention to her that she upset me it never goes well so i write it down to safely let those feelings out and as i was writing this one i just needed some clarity i really cant fathom any reason for her to be mad except egocentrism so perhaps an unbias outsider can shed light?

What are these acronyms?

[two-tonexiptr]

Hivemind HC's (IEYTD)

Because he doesn't get enough love 💛

- He is somewhat southern: canonically has a very slight southern accent in the developer commentary and we know he was born in new Mexico (wiki)

(I like to imagine he also lived in Bee Cave TX for a bit, for the pun AND because im a huge TF2 nerd) --- - I feel like he has a HUGE sweet tooth, and he brags about the fact he gets to use his bee's honey and comb He will leave small treats out in Zoraxis HQ and lobbies, just tempting people to take one so he can praise his bees publicly, makes a HUGE scene about it: Zor worker 1: "Those honey biscuits in the lobby were so good, where are they from-" Zor worker 2: "SHHH dont he will hear you-" Zor worker 1: "Relax man who are you even talking about? its not like im praising the EOD i just really like these biscuits!" Hivemind: "THE BISCUITS YA SAY?? why THANK you! me and mah sweet bees made them to PERFECTION!! you will find no better honey anywhere else, y'see bee keeping is an ART- (10 hour spiel) Zor worker 1: ... Zor worker 2: "look what you've done". (they were really good biscuits though, Hivemind is a surprisingly good baker. Terrible cook though, only baking) --- - Rough exterior, sweet interior He is 6'0 (wiki) and southern, writes formally talks a little crazed and while he is a beekeeper he feels like he would have a decent bit of bulk too. not to mention he's relatively smart, he has to be to sit in a position near Zor. Other workers are scared of him, partially because of his bees and partially because he is ... eccentric (crazy) But on the inside? sweet as honey. He shares pastries with everyone, values even the smallest of bugs, and is actually more appreciative of the average Zoraxis worker than most other higher ups (That doesnt mean hes nice to them though, he still sends his fair share of nasty emails, especially when his bees are at risk) He uses his bees because, similarly to Dr. Prism, he finds them more reliable and would rather not cause the death of someone on his side. Before and after Dr Prism left he was the supporter/caretaker in Zoraxis. Agents of Zor could go to him for anything and he would help, and even with his intimidation after a while it became an unspoken rule. Zoraxis is like another hive, and if there are even minor issues it can disrupt the colony. He knows this well, thats why he personally spends a small amount of his budget to buy lunch for those that forget it; Work clothes for those that cant afford it; and so on. --- - He has more than one hive: his real bees and the Zornets: He is very protective of both, it takes a lot to outwardly move this man but if his bees die or a Zornet gets damaged he will be inconsolable for a small while after the mission --- - He was totally friends with Dr. Prism, in fact she probably helped make the Zornets with him. They are both exentric geniuses who get undermined constantly, how could they not get along? even after she returned to the EOD they still keep in touch, occasionally sending bug facts or robot things to eachother in solidarity - John juniper? not so much I think that they did NOT get along, John is way too full of himself and aristocracy for Hive- i grew up on da sout in my pa'hs farm- Mind. The first time they interacted Juniper insults his bees and gets TACKLED by a 6'0 beekeeper Both got a very harsh chewing out for this incident --- Let me know if you would like more!! i love hivemind but sadly we havent seen much of him (IEYTD4 PLEASSEEE)

[to-my-emil]

luca's 2024 letter

so i did a whole analysis/explanation/infodump about luca's newest letter on my discord server and. figured i may as well post it here! theres a lot of fun tasty things in here and some confirmation of things that have been implied in previous letters which is fun to look at. please keep in mind i dont have the entirety of every character and manor game's lore memorized so while i did double check some things i mightve missed some stuff. anyway its all below the cut since its Long have fun :)

(also feel free to chime in with any thoughts/feelings/opinions/ideas!)

so theres three sections to this letter! im gonna go section by section, but some parts of the last section are mentioned earlier so uh. sorry if you havent read it yet (id recommend u do read it first)

so part 1 is pretty fun. luca is confirmed to have survived game 10 (which also features tracy, charles, and bonbon though we dont currently know who the fourth survivor participant is) And its implied that hes the only survivor of the game (according to the "fleeting victory" thats the assumption at least). his traits w being able to connect the ciphers is also officially tied into the lore here; there are in fact wires running underneath each arena (or at the very least whichever arena lucas game was in which we dont know yet iirc) so its canon that he can do what he does in matches and its not something that the detective incorrectly deduced lorewise (idk if any of the survivor abilities are Actually incorrect deductions/not actually things that theyre doing (like for example priestess's portals, etc that seem more far-fetched) but since we know hes done other things incorrectly (like "prisoner" and "psychologist" titles being in quotes/technically wrong) i figure he mightve gotten some of those wrong too). luca is also Super Fucked Up w an unusuable left arm (and his previous injuries which we know includes at Least severe brain trauma but likely physical trauma too considering his time in prison + the leg braces) so uhhhhhhhhhhh. my money is NOT on him for the next game.

which is the fun next thing to talk about: baron deross is making him do another game!! this confirms whats implied in emmas 2022 letter (she writes "I've won the previous round, for now" which implies a second round if not more), and probably means that helena and galatea would also go through another round even though its not confirmed yet. so far we dont have a record of what happens in any second manor game for a player who has won (as far as i remember); usually what happens is entire groups are eliminated before the game and the only survivor goes on to the next round to try again by default rather than having won the game (like murro and luchino). so far luca's second game is the only one we have ANY info about for a survivor whos won their first game; we know that alva is in it and its heavily implied ann is in it (we'll get to this later) so we'll likely find out what happens once we get either of their experiment letters. its also interesting that the baron seems to reveal more information about the experiments to luca after luca won his game, but its hard to know whether thats because luca is also a scientist or if he reveals that to everyone who wins. my guess is maybe the former bc u Know luca would have questions and theres also no mention of baron deross saying anything like that in emmas, galateas, or helenas letters.

on to section 2!!! (there was a slur against disabled people in the last line of this section so. thats whats blocked out)

OKAY SO. definitely confirmed that hes in a second manor game, its not even subtext its just right there. assuming the "mechanisms" refer to the same mechanisms that are running under the arena and connecting the cipher machines my guess is that this is what he used to shock other participants?? rather than just being to conduct electricity through himself like he does in the game?? idk thats just spaghetti at the wall its not clear here how he actually got shocked and why. it Is clear that he passed the fuck out at some point or another/his memory issues have gotten worse and the wiki points to that guy in his dream being hermann, so that's. interesting. theres an implication here that luca and hermann used to be closer, but once luca started w physics hermann went mmmm time to stop being a father. which. checks out knowing hermann. whats even more interesting is that luca calls hermanns ideas "ludicrous fantasies" that are neither idealistic nor realistic, because like luca you went and did THE EXACT SAME THING. BRO HE WORKED ON PERPETUAL MOTION. YOURE WORKING ON PERPETUAL MOTION. IM SORRY YOU CANT CLOWN ON UR DAD FOR RUINING HIS LIFE OVER PERPETUAL MOTION WHEN U DID LITERALLY THE EXACT SAME THING

anyway.

i do wonder if this is meant to imply that hermann was in fact actually working on a More ridiculous version of perpetual motion or if luca is just biased as hell against hermann. im banking on the latter there is no way in hell that luca is a reliable narrator considering all his memory issues + his general tendency to outright grab people hes mad at by the throat (<- fun fact we see this at least twice once in alvas backstory video and again in gattos backstory video. luca is the same across all timelines). also implications that hermann became an alcoholic. im guessing as a kid luca was told it was medicine and he hasnt put the pieces together?? or its ironic. idk could be either with him. i highly doubt its actually medicine. ALTHOUGH. theres an alternate explanation here; when luca says "swallow them down" i initially thought he was referring to hiding his "final feelings", since sometimes swallowing down feelings is a phrase used for that kind of thing. but potentially this could be implying that hermann had luca take some kind of medicine potentially to get rid of those feelings in some way?? personally i think its the former because we already know hermann was wasting his life and money so becoming an alcoholic would be an easy answer, but this is probably just because i dont have any answers if it were the latter. something to think about

now the third part, which gives us info about the next manor game!

so first the "gaunt old man" is (according to the wiki which i agree with in this case) mad eyes, which makes sense because mad eyes was involved in game 8/9 right before this and game 10 was filled with inventors + bonbon so it only makes sense he was there. no idea where he went though. whats more fun is that luca is now In The Fucking basement Walls where mad eyes used to be bc luca doesnt trust the rest of the participants. considering the "abnormal eyes" and that alva is here we know for sure that this is those related to the eye of darkness cult, which means ann is also definitely there. whats even more interesting is that this implies the existence of at least one more member of the eye of darkness cult whos going to be in this game; luca says "new participants" and "these people", and considering how specific the letters usually are with other things i would guess hed say "those two" if it were only ann and alva (of course its possible that theyre the only two have arrived at the writing of this journal, but considering he refers to a ritual coming up soon my money is on all the participants being of the cat cult except luca). luca makes a good note that this new game is likely the opposite of the previous and more focused on religion/spirituality which checks out w the participants, but DAMN hes an asshole about their writing style LMAO. sorry luca not everyone can have the same notes u do

the "brother in faith" guy here is alva, and i personally believe that he can in fact believe see through walls just bc thats funny as hell. just kidding its likely because luca is not as subtle he thinks he is because alva Literally Knows Him. other people might not be able to know hes there but like. that guys also a scientist. hed be able to figure out that theres someone in the walls AND he does in fact know luca. its difficult to tell bc of lucas memory issues but this probably also implies that alva looks very different from how he did in life (i doubt its as tall/etc as in his hunter form since thats what they all see when drugged not what he Actually looks like but im sure theres some stuff like his shorter hair/grayish skin/etc that carries across). i for one am fucking thrilled that theyre in a game together bc oh my god this is a time bomb and im just waiting to watch it explode (again).

as for the last line about a ritual... teehee. im very excited for whatever this is going to be and its killing me that this is the Only Information we have on it so far. likely we're going to have to wait for more alva and ann letters on this one, as well as whoever the third eye of darkness cult member is going to be, but i have no doubt that we'll have some more info eventually. if i had to take a guess its going to heavily affect how game 10-2/11 turns out; i highly doubt any ritual goes on without a sacrifice, and, well... theres only one guy here whos not already part of the cult. things are not looking great for lucas future.

[tengritexas]

Alright here we go chat

Im playing an interesting game endorsing a candidate on tumblr but Im going to anyways. You can like it not like I dont care its cool.

This blog is aimed to remain apolitical but in the past few months its become increasingly hard to do so. Im now at the point where I must encourage you to vote.

I will be publicly endorsing Donald J Trump. And while Im certain that upsets most of my followers its important to clarify Id rather be your friend and win a heart than win a mind.

I do this for the sake of perserving a good conscious for myself

My reasons for endorsing Donald J Trump are as follows

-The shift of Taxes to Tarrifs:

Under the Trump administration you will not be taxed on tips or for working overtime. Instead that money will come from Tarrifs placed on China which will double as support for american factories and american jobs.

-The chronic health epidemic:

Robert Kennedy (under the trump administration) aims to stop the chronic health epidemic which I think is crucial not only for American youth but also for global health moving forward

-Defunding of CIA operations

Literally just yesterday multiple agencies raided a man over a rabid squirrel in what almost seems like a twisted comedy sketch.

Keep it plainly there are 2 sides of the CIA, one of which does not like you and wants to keep (what I believe) very important spiritual discoveries from the public eye. These discoveries need to become more publicly available

UNDER TRUMP, the CIA lost considerable funding which I believe has led to both assasination attempts. Trump hires private investment firms our of fear that this previously mention sector of the CIA acts autonously and unconstitutionally. This was briefly mentioned in the NASA UAP hearings of 2023

-Media machines/Smoke and Mirrors

I believe the media machine is a marvel of the elite class that currently rules America. I still have not been presented with a case of how Harris will solve the very real and very critical issues (thats not to say they arent there I merely havent seen them) her campaign has been essentially smoke and mirrors. If she wins it appears to me more so a victory for the media machine (which I have a personal vendetta against) than it being because of her capabilites

-Moral conscious and the Eagle Pass Crisis

I am a Tengrist and believe I should not disturb the natural order of things. Harris as the border czar has disturbed the natural order of Texas autonmy. She has done something which seems to me extremely irresponsible. Threatening to shoot Texas rangers and sending in national guard is something I will take serious. Those are my friends, my brothers, the people I see in class and you will not threaten my neighbors.

- The global stage and forever wars

While I think Trump makes overly ambitious claims that "the ukraine war will end in a month" and "israel will stop fighting in a month". I still think this is comperatively more optomistic than his counterpart. I personally do believe Trump having the only administration in which no war started is remarkable. The track record favors Trump here (though I do not believe he will wave a wand and create peace)

- What I do not see on the ballot

I have not seen any suggestions or signs of Trump wanting to take away any rights that the American people already possess. There seems to be this idea that we will move backwards. He supports LGBTQA+ platforms, He supports many diverse universities. Even recieved endorsements from Trans communities. I have seen people argue that your rights are on the ballot, I have not seen this to be true unless you are of the 1% that owns bump stocks (he did want to ban those but its related to guns)

Its your vote, and I suggest you vote your conscious as well. But I hope youll take these points into consideration.

For the sky, for the ground, for the soul.

[fogbreo]

been struggling to design the voices and feeling a bit miserable over it 😔

i dont have any ideas for broken, cheated, oppy, hunted, and skeptic aside from what type of bird they are (and even then, im starting to think that i should change broken's bird). any ideas i come up with have already been done to death so i shoot them down everytime. nothings wrong with being inspired but smitten's inspiration isnt very obvious so i think the other voices shouldnt be so obvious too. ah but im confident that smitten is my best voice design even if i complete them all so maybe its not fair to make him the standard..

as for broken and hero, they look so off. i drew them once (thrice for broken, actually) and got so frustrated that i abandoned the wip. they just. didnt look like broken and hero. my art satisfies me first and foremost so if it doesnt please me, no one else gets to see it

i do have ideas for para and stubborn. theyre the clearest in my head right now but im scared to tackle them 😭 stubborn's image was even clearer than smitten actually but i chose to work on smitten first because stubborn is a rooster. roosters are colorful. how do i simplify that. and hes Stubborn hes supposed to be buff and big and all that so im out of my comfort zone...

this has just turned into me rambling about the design process huh. let me talk about cold then. he just Happened. well no, i sketched a two whole pages of herons as preparation for his design but they looked so bad. i asked my classmates if they recognized the bird and one of them said flamingo.

anyway his design just Happened when i did that drawing where he and smitten beak kiss. i didnt really think of how to make his design till i was already drawing him. thats why hes just. a heron. with a scarf (havent drawn that yet) and two long ear tuffs. thats it. no other identifying features like smitten. hes rather uninspired so i wanted to improve his design but nothing came into mind (except for the scarf). well, no i did think of a veil or a mask or a hat but his head is ridiculously tiny so thats impractical. besides, i like him as it is and others seem to like him too? so theres that.

im most satisfied with smitten, contra, and the narrator's designs :) smitten is my prized jewel at this point. he underwent almost the same process as cold except i was way more prepared for him. he formed in my head 75% complete lol though you can spot clear differences between my first sketches of him and his most recent design. the beak kiss drawing was also the first time i "realized" his design. he has had super minor revisions since then but his core remains unchanged. im pretty satisfied with him, i dont think he'll change anymore.

contra 🥰 i like him as he is but im adding cheeks (like a cockatiel! i dont have to be that species-accurate) and some curls on his head. i actually wanted to add those details in the one piece i made with him but i couldnt figure it out then... probably bc i made his head too big 💀

the narrator is pretty simple. i married the mirror and corvid narrator hcs for his design bc while i personally subscribe to the mirror!narra hc, i cant just make him a mirror??? so now hes a black cracked glass raven Thing who holds a piece of white paper and feather :) unlike the voices, he doesnt have arms so he uses his wings to write instead. he also doesnt stand upright. hes the most Bird out of everyone to make it clear that he doesnt belong 😍 i drew him once but i hope to make a reference sheet for him soon bc it really should be simple..

side note: colors are important! i try not to apply too much white or black unless it makes sense for the character. ideally, the voices wouldnt have white or black on them but well. its unavoidable. birds often have black or white on them.

the narrator is a black raven and the only things that are white on him are the cracks (death) and his writing implements. hero is purely black and clothing provide the only pops of color on him. smitten and broken regrettably have a lot of white on their belly but im sure i can spin some bullshit explanation like "white around their hearts bc they love the princess (represented by white) ❤️".

lots of white on contra but that makes sense. i also refrained from making him a sulfur-crested cockatoo though bc theyre almost entirely white. no white on cold at all, sadly. white would make so much sense on him bc change is what he seeks (same reason why contra has a lot of white) so maybe i shouldve made him some other white heron instead.. or a crane. but cranes represent life.. ah whatever. i like him as he is right now.

...my takeaway from my rambling is that i should work on para's design. ive got a clear-ish idea for him

[top10bigchungus]

found some older (2-4 years old) art that for once i dont feel like throwing up when seeing. havent drawn in a while and ive defo kinda forgotton how 2 draw like i tried doing some simple sketches but all of them were uhm shit.

starting off with some honkai (impact) drawings (sorry for being a gachaslop fan, childhood and autism were not kind to me) idk what order theyre showing up so i maybe will add like a description or whatevs if u wanna know like some thought processes type shit

BRO there was one cute but wonky sakura that DIDNT SEND (wifi so bad here i couldnt upload from mobile i had to email these to myself and then download to upload cuz idfk what happened) but oh well sorry my goat sakura

anyways we move onto the masa works design shit (god was not kind), im posting these more seperate because i was actually somewhat creative that summer a few years ago. heres uguisu baita (slapper of a song), i really liked the concept of being able to pick up the drawing to move it around kinda in the style of the pv so i went through actual effort for this ( and the next peice). i dyed the back piece of paper using tea bags (im a tea drinker britain has influenced me), and then drew the drawings on a paper which i then cut out to their sillhoette. even if its not much and the drawings are kinda ass i LOVE the concept i really did have joy seeing these so fuck yeah i defo would do shit like this again

and here mentalism maria, done in the same style as above. i once again REALLY REALLY REALLY love this one like these were so fun to make, didnt finish the concept unfortunately (as seen in pic 2) but putting all the chains n shit on the paper was super fun. process was the same but i tried to draw the background (its dogshit), idk what the random pieces of paper wouldve been for but theyre there ig

last of the masa shit, any comments on individual drawings r made on them, aside from the ban nen one. this was going to be the third fanwork in the style of the prev 2 but with the shards seen in the image of the pv standing out (now that i think about it the random extra papers on mentalism maria were probably for that) but i never finished it past the drawing. really like the face of it though

and finally, miscallenous. i think the first one was enstars i drew for my friend but i lowkey dunno thats my guess, second im guessing was an oc/persona kinda deal (i dont look like that i look worse) and im fr not sure what was going on i cannot tell you tf its actually meant to be

n e ways you could probably find a lot of my older shit floating around since i was severely terminally online a few years ago (i wouldnt be surprised if the 5 year anni of me quitting being terminally online spontaneously is this year but i actually erased a lot of that shit from my mind) it was not a good time for me though and ive grown a lot since those times so please never really bring that shit up please and thank you and good bye i know all of it looks ass but what can i say im just an ass artist

[effielovesapples]

tagged by @garak ^.^ i do really like tag games OH BOY!

last song: let it ride by the soundcarriers. been my go to song since friday i heard it while really high and listening to my discover weekly and I just had a moment like Wowww This is great. havent stopped playing it since

favourite colour: i like a lot of colors this is so hard. i really like blue. but it cant be too cyan and it cant be too violet. little pastel, but not a baby blue. something that pairs really well with dark brown. i think im more into color palettes than singular colors, i think its hard for me to pick a favorite.

last book i read: read out of my color theory textbook if we want to be really technical about this. im studying lul

last movie: i rewatched kill bill vol 1 the other night actually. i think vol 1 is better than 2, but i do think the western themes in 2 are fun. 1 is just a cooler movie though. one of those movies my mom showed me when i was way too young so its nostalgic to meeeee

last tv show: ive been keeping aqua teen hunger force on in the background while i do work. again if we're being technicallll. last thing i seriously SAT and paid attention to watching was its always sunny

sweet, savoury, or spicy: spicy and its not even a competition. Ok maybe a little with sweet. but i have to be in the right mood. most of the food i make is spicy anyway

relationship status: i am taken wehehehe... we are actually celebrating our 3 year this month. and we graduate next year and then its a total surprise when i will be proposed to because we agreed he would propose after we graduate. He said he will kill himself if he doesn't marry me. How exciting is that.

last google search: 'adobe fonts with ornaments' im working on my shakespeare prints for GD1 and i need some fancy stuff

looking forward to: wednesday im going to the ddr machine and getting lunch at frullati's for a little getting my shit done treat. hoping this is the week i get everything done that i've been meaning to get done. last of my comms getting done end of this week. getting my coding done. We're gonna catch up this week. its been a bad year so far lol

tagging: my friends and associates alike. @folkjester @huustlecat @outbacksteakhousebloominonion @delusionaltoma @lesbianraskolnikov @toudens @mybelovedwitchbeloved @aquariiyum if you would like to do this just say i tagged you Nobody would be mad

[kibblemaniac]

april thoughts

just a general "how ive been doing" mostly with my art sense my art is my life

.. i say art is my life, but i havent drawn at all in the past few days lolol. i havent been doing too great this year.

well, im a bit unhappy with the lack of responses the follower survey got, but i guess it makes sense. i promised it would be out in december and i didnt finish it until this month. people probably forgot about it like i did. idk how to lock the survey so if you read this and go look for the link you can still do it, but i probably wont be checking it often. i did get some good info like where most of my followers come from, how i should price my comms, etc etc. if i remember to ill make another one next year with more questions. a lot of people who took the survey said they wanted a discord server. id like to connect with you all but to be honest im a bit hesitant to make something like that because im not very active on discord and am very lazy.

i guess the reason why i havent drawn a lot this year, specifically illustrations, is cuz im lacking a lot of inspo. i just havent been too happy with my art and not really sure why. i figured if i had more inspo id be drawing more, but ive always had trouble paying attention to stuff like movies or shows or stuff like that. and i specify taking inspo from media like that bc i dont want to take too much inspo from other online artists. i think if you take too much inspo from your peers you end up just creating the same stuff over n over, you need a wide range of inspo to create something new. though, that lack of inspiration definitely isnt helped by my pinterest account getting deactivated for no reason! social media addiction is real, ive been having serious pinterest withdrawals lolol. but yeah i have a long list of things i want to read and stuff i want to watch that i havent even scrapped the surface of. will be a long long time b4 i finish that list, and by the time im done ill probably have another list of stuff ready to go.

on the topic of media, the last films i watched were colin armistead's "angelic kitty miracle-chan" and "enternet". armistead's filmwork reminds me of the phrase "art disturbs the comforted and comforts the disturbed". ive seen a lot of backlash for both his kitty film, as well as his previous film "bonehead". i do not agree with people who think mircale-chan is supposed to be "transphobic" or "mean spirited". i found myself in the main character of alex, as someone who enjoys anime and self isolates and is trans, and by the comments on the youtube upload a lot of other people did too. my only critique is that it just didnt live up to my expectations, that just not a lot happened in it. but its a 7 minute student film, so its a bit limited in what it can do anyways. i think if it had a longer run time and went more into depth about alex's life, it would have been much more compelling.

back to art, ive been thinking about it and i think i know why i wasnt able to finish raw!fruit or butterfly in flower garden. i have this tendency to overestimate what i can do, come up with a lot of cool ideas, but am not really great at executing those ideas. i take a while to draw, even doodles can take me like, at least a day or two, so when it comes to larger projects a lot of the time it takes so long i end up noticing flaws in my own work and those flaws make me feel too depressed to finish the damn thing. i think for my first venture into comic work, i should downsize into a oneshot. maybe even practice drawing single page comics before i work on something that requires multiple pages. and it should also be something pretty simple in concept. bifg was supposed to be simple, but i kept thinking of ideas and writing and stuff like that, that it became its own beast. hopefully one day.

on a more personal note, im a bit worried about my future. i made it a new years resolution to get a job this year, and i still havent gotten one 4 months in. i sorta lost interest.. ill try to get one for the summer cuz thats coming up soon, though to be honest idk if ill be able to survive it. i struggle a lot with loud/painful noises, bright lights, social interaction, etc etc... but ill try my best. i might try to do comms if i just cant do it. im graduating high school and turning 18 this year, 2 events im not really looking forward to. part of my brain stills think im a middle schooler, so being reminded that im not is like, idk shocking??? just dont really have much of a plan, not much hope, but ill live anyways.

uhh other stuff thats too small to have their own paragraphs uhhh. i started a new flightrising account, its toasterhair if you want to send a friend request. uhh ive been trying to exercise more, nothing too big just a little bit of cardio to keep my heart beating. i was somewhat more sociable at my last cooking class than i usually am, so yay me thats one of my goals to be more social. and uhh my grandma is gonna teach me how to sew soon hopefully and were gonna fix up this one sweater of mine that has a bunch of holes. thats really all i can think of, hope youre all doing well !

[beetlebug-bii]

Part 3 of feral mc but with Belphie being released from the attic. Just imagine Belphie trying to kill mc and they just bite him. Not even Barbatos could handle the child so I highly doubt Belphie could either lol.

Feral Child Mc (part three)

MC Gets Betrayed & Bombastically Side Eyed Their Way To Beating A Bitch.

A/N: I like my writing to be nothing short of silly goofy, i also wrote this at like 4am two weeks ago and was so surprised to see it in my drafts. Did i proof read it? No.

Enjoy anyways💕

Now, you have been a menace since you've arrived

Only truly unstoppable by Diavolo, Lucifer and Barbatos on a good day

Today

Was not one of those days

No

Not at all

You see

Late in the night after being very snuggly tucked in

And then duck taped to the bed

And then your pajamas stapled to the bed

And then tied to the bed

In their defense

Not a single brother has gotten a single decent night of sleep

Not since Mammon awoke one night to see your little face peeking out from the vents

You screamed at him and launched from the darkness, stealing his sun glasses before scrumbling deep into the walls

no one has ever heard Mammon scream so loudly

Needless to say they were pretty fucking done with your scrumbling

Besides, they tied Satan to the bed and look at him! A totally chill and normal member of society :D

Anyways you were built different and managed to escape

You had to check on your little friend in the attic after all, it had been a few days

Upon going in, you glared at eachother for exactly three minutes and fourteen seconds

Before he started the whole sweet act on you

"Awh hey, you can let me out now right? You can do that? Whose a good little human?"

Offense taken

You werent a dog

though you wont lie and say you havent growled back at Cerberus before...

No you know what

Who does this man think he is?

You are a child with 6 of the deadliest pacts in the world!

...

...

...

Wait a second

Who thought that was a good idea

Genuinely

You are feral

A monster

The other students at RAD cower before you

You made the Angel's cry

YOU CHOKED BARBATOS WITH A SHOE LACE

WHO IN THE 7 CIRCLES OF HELL THOUGHT IT WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA TO MAKE A PACT WITH YOU OF ALL PEOPLE

well whatever it's not like this is gonna come back and bite you

But you werent gonna release the bitch from his kennel

Not without a price

Mammon would be so so proud of you!

It took a lot of back and forth, but he promised 12 firecrackers, a new plushie, and a trip to the candy store

Hell yea candy

Open up oh magic lock

Oh he fucking kicked you across the room

Well that's not fucking candy

Lying prick

So this fucking incel loser started ranting about something or other

To be honest you didnt care

In fact you decided he didnt get a monologue

You were pissed off

You freed him

Were you the embodiment of capitalism while doing so?

Maybe

But that doesnt mean he can just hit you

Like

You have such a cute face

He's just mad that you're the baby of the family now

And that thought gave you a great idea!!

"I'm telling Lucifer"

Would have been your final words

Had you not been

Well

You.

Next thing you know he's chasing you down the stairs, grabbing you and choking you out

Which

Not gonna lie

Was a bitch move

So you kicked him square in the jaw and started screaming, just like papa lucifer taught

Stranger danger kids

Dont release strange men from the attic in exchange for candy

It's not worth it and they are lying

So obviously you pissed off what's his name

You're pretty sure its bitch boy

Anyways so you pissed off bitch boy and he started trying to stab you with a chair leg

Which was like

So rude

And the others were like bro stop

Except more panicked you're pretty sure but you werent a crybaby bitch like this loser so you know

You had to go for the knees

You slid around him, kicked him in the back of the knees

This wasnt your first rodeo

Apparently

Because you climbed on the demonic cow and grabbed the horns man

You were holding on for dear life before you just bit into his head

Like

I dont think he even knew what to do at that point

You ruined his WHOLE SPEECH

THEN FOR SOME REASON YOU GOT MAD AT HIM

gee I wonder why

THEN HIS BROTHERS SHOWED UP

THIS WASNT SUPPOSED TO BE HOW IT WENT AT ALL

PRICK

Recounting this tale now, a few months later, you'd like to think that he was just being the most frfr brother out of everyone

You two had to be torn apart like a pair of summer popsicles

You were kicking and screaming

He was kicking and screaming

Mammon was kicking and screaming, somehow his leg got caught in between you two

It was a warzone

The hallway was destroyed

Multiple bedrooms? Just gone

The brothers?

So

So tired...

None of that fake shit

Deep down you know you would've won though

You still call him bitch boy💕

[the-s1lly-corner]

I’m baaaaack!!

Oh I’ve missed your writing, I just got dragged off due to some stuff irl and having a mini hyper fixation on Eddie Munson-

How are you dear? 🥺 everything okay? Drinking water and eating food? I hope you are!

Would love to see if you could possibly do hcs of all the different ways LJ would comfort you and show you how much he loves you as well as how he’d react to his s/o having gift giving and physical touch be her main love languages!

- 🩶 Anon

Laughing Jack comforting a reader who has gift giving/touch as a love language!

i have one other request in the inbox asides this one but i think imma save it for later since im!! tired.. im doing okay-ish? ups and downs, i will admit the past few weeks i havent been feeling right/like myself but im sure its just a funk or something.. gotta drink more water, though </3 hope you enjoy this anon!

jack is very very clingy himself, like in an emotional sense but also a physical sense... if it were efficient he would wrap himself around you and not let go but unfortunately a lot of things in life would get inconvenienced

a majority of that clinginess comes from his abandonment issues, with only a portion just being a part of his personality

very verbal in wanting to keep you around, and while he may not out right say or ask it, i think sometimes he needs some reassurance from you that youre not going to be going anywhere

will take any chance he can to sling his arm around you, usually just draping it over your shoulders lazily while you guys hang around one another

i dont think hes opposed to hand holding, either.. he has very large hands and theyre warm... sharp claws, though

if anything you might have to ask him to give you space because he wants to spent a lot of his free time with you (and hes got a lot of free time if youre the one in possession of that little box of his); i think sometimes he can get a little overwhelming/overstimulating... i love him but personally i think he could be a little much every now and then

loves leaving you notes, usually leaves some candy with them. typically leaves them in places where he knows you'll find them, like by your keys or at the front door... likes leaving them when he knows youre about to leave for work or any other outing... will still leave them if hes the one leaving for something, although its rare that he needs to head out for something and admittedly i cant think of anything he would need to do/get done that would require him to leave briefly

looooooooooves showering you in affection, especially if you guys are in a romantic relationship; peppers you in kisses and snuggles into your cheek.. hugs, lots of hugs. will take any chance he can get to snake his arms around you. please cuddle him

so i think its safe to say that the physical touch bit is more than satisfied, on both ends

as for gift giving, i gotta say my brain is a little melted so i can tell whos giving and whos receiving, so lets do both!

if youre the one giving gifts to jack hes going to be totally over the moon...! a present? for HIM? is it christmas? is it his birthday? ...i dont.. think he has a birthday, actually... but that aside i think he would adore nearly anything you give him since hes totally obsessed with you. likely keeps it within close reach, be it in his own space, his box, or even in his hair since that functions as a means of storage in my silly hc!!

if hes the one giving gifts i think he would try to slink around to figure out what you like.. if its something more than candy then maybe... this would be one of those rare chances where he leaves the house for something, making sure not to be seen of course. which is easy when he can turn into a puff of smoke at will. honestly knowing him hes probably not going to be able to hold himself back from the gifts, so prepare to wake up to a whole pile of them in the morning... might try his hand at wrapping them but due to his claws theres some holes and slashes... but its the thought that counts..!

though if he needs to hide anything for occasions like birthdays hes not going to be able to keep it a secret... if he doesnt blurt it out hes going to be really antsy and keep checking where ever hes hiding the gifts to see if theyve been found or tampered yet

adding this in because i forgot comforting the reader!! right before i was about to hit post!!

if youre feeling anxious about him leaving or being upset with you i think he would reassure you to the best of his ability

tries to keep the mood light, likely cracks jokes while hes holding your hands... might be slightly rocking your hands back and forth or side to side

looks like the type to kiss tears away... though hes gonna have the be careful about it given that cone nose of his... though him attempting to be gentle while keeping his determination to pepper your face with pecks might be enough to crack a smile from you

literally will not leave you alone until youre smiling

[moldwood]

hii i remember a while ago you mentioned getting a bunch of udemy courses for blender & i was wondering if there were any character modeling ones that you tried and liked (or if you know of any other good ones elsewhere)? i have some that im looking at rn but its hard to decide what to start with when they all seem just slightly different lmao

(also idk if u remember but i am the same person that asked about ones for environments/buildings way back then as well. i did get some of them & made a little progress & then got distracted by Other Projects & havent touched blender since & now im switching gears to character stuff lmao. as one does)

yes i do remember you! you activated my trap card once again. now you have to sit and read my ramblings for 30 minutes. or just skip to the bolded sentence i got and finished this one, but if you remember the basics from your environment courses, i don't know if i would recommend it more than anything you can find for free on youtube tbh. if you feel like you've forgotten basics, it's a good place to start as the course starts from an absolute beginner level for hotkeys and adding materials and etc. or if you want a certificate! they do go very into texture painting and baking the details of your sculpt onto your lower resolution model, which the next one i'm going to recommend does not. but again you could always find how to do that for free elsewhere. i did it before the 4.2 updated videos, so i can't say anything about the new ones, but i don't think they cover manual retopology, more complex clothes, hair, or using UDIMs. and now my brief ramble on retopology: there's nothing wrong with just doing a decimate modifier if it gets the job done, but if you're wanting a model that moves, you definitely want to do it manually to make sure it deforms properly! there are a TON of videos on retopology, i would poke around different ones to see what method works best for you when the time comes, and watch (or at least skim) this to understand Why certain things in topology work like they do (like how to topologize a forehead to get a crease when someone raises their eyebrows). (though you don't always need topology to get things like that done. warning for auntie whispers's creepy self done semi-realistically.)

ornithopter course is goated for your hard surface modeling and rigging learning needs. includes learning about UDIMs. harley davidson goated for an even more complex hard surface model, but does not cover rigging or UDIMs (i think. i haven't done this one yet. just based off the preview). hard surface modeling is good to know for props, weapons, uhhh cars, carriages, things that can be a Part of a character without being the character. BUT ! it's nothing you can't logic your way through though using everything you learnt so far/in the environmental courses and a little youtube + reddit searching.

for something free, i definitely recommend this playlist by bran sculpts. it's a bit less guided than the course so you might have to pause here and there, but he goes at a medium pace and says everything he's doing. the hotkeys in the corner can be a little hard to see because of his ui scale early on, but he covers the things i listed earlier that the (original) course didn't; retopology, clothes, and hair (again idk because i haven't taken the 4.2 version). does not cover hair particles, so you will have to go elsewhere for that, but the method he does use is Very Very good.

flycat is a character sculpter who i recommend watching once you're familiar with the process. they do something a little different each video, so there's always something to learn, but they are very efficient and talented. you will have to either slow the video speed down or buy the video on gumroad to see everything they're doing, but i've gotten most of it through just slowing it down.

then for specific things, it's best to just search around! all those slightly different methods have something to offer, and what one person does might not make sense for the specific thing you need so you can always try another method. curly hair is definitely something that i'm always finding new videos on because i'm never quite satisfied with how i can get it to look.

i will also always plug the art of effective rigging (and to a lesser degree alive) for if you're planning on getting into making models move. the same guy does have a character creation course, but i haven't looked too much into it. looks like another good option though, but a little expensive compared to the other options out there

i think the biggest thing with character creation is that since it is what the most people are interested in (as far as i can tell), there are going to be a LOT of things out there to teach you for free. since they are free, they will all be missing something, so enjoy the process and look things up as you run into things you don't know while making your own models. anything you do for a humanoid model applies for a quadruped or... etc, you just will have to look a Bit harder if you're having a specific problem, or experiment and use your big brain.

other misc things: i always keep this chart on hand, very useful when transitioning from head to neck topology or hands to wrists, etc etc

shape keys can carry your animations if that's what you hope to do eventually, 2d face sprites can be controlled with bones, never be afraid of mixing mediums (taking a picture of a model from blender then drawing on top of it for example), unreal engine can be used as a compositing tool and floral scatter tool and water generator tool, annnnd my last advice is to look out for humble bundle sales. there were a few blender focused ones last year that had a bunch of really good add-ons (and a course or two) for cheap, like shaders plus, florapaint, retopoflow, and claydoh, along with like 20 others all for 35 bucks. right now, there's this concept art bundle, some of which are focused on character creation in 3d software. they tend to use zbrush and substance painter, which is a shame that they are so expensive. if only there was some way to GET these programs INTO your PC for cheap -- free even! ... .COM

[ghouldtime]

Yay!! I havent done one in like...a decade but here goes. I'm a female, late 20s 5ft0 and I'm a day care teacher. I teach the older one year olds. I'm american, I have long wavy dirty blonde hair and I'm on the curvier side of life. I'm very feminine. Not coquette feminine but like..sweaters, nails done, skin care on lock etc. I like to cook and bake and I keep a clean home. I'm very honest, but I'm not a blunt person. Patient, nurturing, I like to think I'm kind. I have anxiety, ocd and ADHD, I'm medicated for them tho. People say i have no backbone, people tend to take advantage of me but im working on boundaries. I love animals, kids, the occasional video game and nature. I like to be manhandled a bit in the bed room, oops. I'm definitely more of a "trad wife" even though I hate that term. I like honesty, masculinity of a nontoxic variety, and traditional traits I guess. Strength, provider, leader etc. I look for singing who can kind of guide me, keep me grounded. More responsible, not afraid to say no, will gladly take the lead and speak for me at public places. Order my food and make my phone calls for me lollol. I have a high sex drive, not sure if that would matter.

Thank you so much, this will be interesting. I feel like such a loser kid again lollol. 28 and married sending in a match up for a fictional character but this is fun!!

Hey there anon! Great to see you again, I hope I'm going to do this right and get you justice :D you sound like an absolute lovely person and I'm glad you dropped by 💚

I ship you with...

Sergeant Kyle "Gaz" Garrick

⊹₊ ˚‧︵‿₊୨୧₊‿︵‧ ˚ ₊⊹₊ ˚‧︵‿₊୨୧₊‿︵‧ ˚ ₊⊹₊ ˚‧︵‿₊୨୧₊‿︵‧ ˚ ₊⊹

Kyle is a character that many often overlook or underappreciate! He's a very interesting, complex character who shows a significant amount of growth in the series. He's the Captain's protege for a reason. Loyal to the core, he isn't one to stray from the ones he cares about for even a second. Distance and time and others can separate you from him but that won't let him feel any lesser.

A strong moral compass serves as his guide - he doesn't just want to keep the peace, he doesn't just want to do his job, he wants justice in every sense of the word - even if it goes against the books. He isn't one to sit back and do what he's told alone, he'll question the moment he has any doubts. The rules for him are a guide, and he's going to question them whenever they're going against the people he sees and what he feels. And the second he has a single inkling that something being done is wrong, unjust, unfair - he's speaking his mind.

While generally kind hearted and easy going, his temper is a flare ready to be lit by those uncautious and brash. Usually its due to others telling him things that goes against his sensibility, empathy, and internal guide urging him to do right and to help as many others as possible. He's easily frustrated, especially with the system he works for, and wants to do right in the world but feels limited. He still has much to learn and grow from but he shares a determination and curiosity that always shines through, even if it can be muddled by conflicting internal thoughts and wants at times.

⊹₊ ˚‧︵‿₊୨୧₊‿︵‧ ˚ ₊⊹₊ ˚‧︵‿₊୨୧₊‿︵‧ ˚ ₊⊹₊ ˚‧︵‿₊୨୧₊‿︵‧ ˚ ₊⊹

Your honesty and care for others is what first caught his attention

That sort of thing is so lost in the world - especially his world, so seeing it struck a chord within his heart he long since thought was buried

Seeing someone so genuine, so patient, and so true to themselves and what they care about was beyond incredibly refreshing

While he's friendly and usually quite polite externally, he doesn't let others get too close to him because of how many times he's seen others turn and betray one another. Trust isn't something that comes easily to him when it comes to personal relationships but he felt he could trust you, even rather early on

Such kindness wasn't something that could be faked, nor was the ability to foster others' and encourage them as well

Kyle isn't someone who is going to take advantage of that because he's SEEN that all erased time and time again. No, he's going to treasure that

The world lacks so many kind things so he's naturally going to cherish the good in the world that he fights so hard for

He respects the ever loving hell out of it and will do everything in his power to keep it that way because it's no easy feat when the world can be so awful at times

Gaz will ALWAYS speak up when he sees wrong and when he sees people doing wrong, he'll call them out on it. He most certainly would do that if anyone tried to walk all over you or use your kindness to their own advantage/gain

He will still tell things as they are, even if it's someone he cares about. That means he isn't an enabler, he isn't going to let people walk all over him. Not only will he speak up for himself but he will speak up for YOU, or to you

One of the many wonderful things about Kyle is he's adaptable. He knows how to make the best of the situations he's in or he'll sure try. Sometimes he may fumble a bit but each time is a learning experience he always takes to heart. Everything he does is genuine and he always strives for better

If you need him to take the lead? Sure, he's your man. The Captain brings him near everywhere and keeps Gaz near him for a reason. Need him to help? He's also your guy, he can follow orders, he's a soldier. Wouldn't still be if he was piss poor at listening to directions. He'll only contest if he doesn't agree with how its being done or the reasoning

He does feel the most confident though if he has the lead and can make choices to what he feels is best. He'll always take your opinion into account because he does care for you, but you can leave him to do what you need to and rest assured, he'll get it done

He's a natural born provider AND protector. A lot of his character centers around saving others from harm and his loyalty to every individual, that increases tenfold when its those who are actually close to him. He WANTS to help as much as he can, even if he's still learning the nuances

Convinced he's the perfect fit!

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Relationship Headcannons

He was the one who approached you and was drawn to you first. He's charming, intuitive, and when he has a goal - he's going for it

Your femininity is something he admires. Being in a world of rough and tumble, it's nice to have someone around who embraces something different so confidently!

Cooking nights are one of his favorite go-to dates. You both can do food prep together. He prefers cooking (it's not as exact as baking and it can leave him to do what he thinks is best and has a lot of wiggle room for creativity and experimentation) so he'll do that and clean up after himself, he'll leave it to you to handle dessert~

He's still helping you fully clean up, btw. Cleaning is something that's been drilled into him and he can't just sit there and LET someone else do all the work, no, he's helping

He also likes going on nice strolls too! It's perfect for enjoying the great outdoors without the pressure of hikes. Going out into a park to have a picnic date is yet another thing he loves. It's low pressure, easy, and doesn't have any obligations except spending time with one another

While he isn't as extroverted and outspoken as some, he still shows his love with little pet names and keeping a hand on the small of your back or fixing your hair if he's just passing. He'll be happy to keep you by his side or laze together doing your own things together

And if you're having a stressful day, he's just a call away - if he can drop what he's doing, he will, and he'll be right on over. His loyalty is unmatched, as is his drive to help you. Though his work can get in the way, he'll still do his best to still send messages when he can

He often memorizes what products you use and will restock them when he knows you're running low or if he's about to be deployed. He's just trying to give you one less thing to think and worry about while he's gone

He also hides notes around them for you to find, just to brighten up your day :)

He's not perfect, he still has a lot to learn and certainly can be too stubborn for his own good, but he will always take things to heart and learn from mistakes to become an even better version of himself

💚💚💚💚💚💚💚

Haven't done one of these before so hope I did it well! And still trying to work on my Gaz characterization to get him 110% down so I hope I did him and you some justice!

[mononijikayu]

hello 🥰 ive been following you and reading your works for a while and i think it's really cool how you can produce so many good quality fics so quickly. your readers are very very lucky ! how long does it usually take for you to finish your works? i would love to learn more about your process ! 🌷

hello hello!!! 🫶

i think it sort of helps that i dont sleep that much or very well and that im an irregular student in uni

i also think another factor is that my mind has ideas a lot. most of the time i sit down and think when im at a park before class and i type out a rough plot draft then i make it as soon as possible

because as fast as thoughts come, they go away too fast too. so i rush!!! which is why i make mistakes often!!! i just come back and correct myself!!!

it also helps that i type really fast. i used type out my notes in my undergrad and even now in my higher educ school days. so i think that's another factor!!! i write both on my phone and my computer (which is whyyyyyyy i have drafts everywhere and i get scolded for not paying attention to people im around when i have an idea 🥲🥲🥲)

making short drabbles or smth like say immortal sukuna, it takes me around an hour or so (the formatting is the hard part 🥲🥲🥲)

and say if im doing something in long format like 3 to 5k, it may take 3 to 4 hours, depending on my brain and my energy. 10k and beyond takes longer — but i try to get it done the same day after a break or tomorrow if i have time.

ashes of love, i got crazy writing about it because i could picture everything easily in my head. so i rushed writing it just to crank out the image i had in my head. because im frightened it would disappear and i'd just lose the vision!!!

but on days i dont update (like during exams) i already have something planned in advice, like a draft i didnt like and i feel like is good enough (a great example would be 'love me back—megumi fushiguro, i liked it but i didnt 'love' it you know???); i publish those to buy myself time.

usually its because im stubborn. i dont like leaving things not done and i wanna be a fan of my work too, so i wanna read it to see if its good enough.

so i have to finish it and give it to everyone to enjoy with me. so even if i only like it, i wanna put it in the world too. i think ill grow to love more than i just do now one day!!!

though, im not immune to being lazy. i think i still havent finished a lot of stuff and i have to rewrite them when i have more time. but i genuinely forget sometimes and i come back, reread and do it again. so it makes me unproductive too.

but writing is a destressing tactic to me and im crazy about it because its a way to find some peace of mind. so ill do it aa much as i can to be sane as much as possible.

tldr — i dont sleep that much, i have more time at times cause irregular school days, im stubborn, i chase my ideas like its the F1 and its a problem but also my sanity!!!

i'm sorry this is long reply, im a big yapper but all this changes depending on what happens and how i am (im also sickly sometimes BUT ideas dont stop even when im sick so i also write too) 😭🫶

(also please dont do this to yourselves, it causes a lot of back pain and cramps too. i sit far too much trying to finish ideas and its BAD. please do it in your pace too and make sure to keep your health first 🥹🫶)