#because as I said Ted deserves better

[gottagobackintime]

Ted and Michelle getting back together would make very little sense and would be a disservice to the characters, especially Ted.

Think about it, you have Ted who has spent three seasons trying to come to terms with his failed marriage and being separated from his son. The marriage failed because his ex-wife fell out of love with him. She then proceeded to get together with their former couple’s therapist without telling him, and she didn’t tell him that she had introduced him to their son. That’s some serious stuff to get over if they were to get together again. Ted deserves better than that.

Are we being led to believe that Michelle is falling in love with Ted again? In that case she’s falling in love with a man who is a mess, and who is at a very low point in his life and I’m not saying that he doesn’t deserve to be loved or be in a relationship because of that, I mean I’m a Ted/Trent shipper so… what I’m saying is, why did she fall out of love with him? Because he was too optimistic, too much with the positivity, too much hiding his true feelings that he himself barely knew affected him? And now that he’s having panic attacks and is depressed, that’s when she’s supposedly falling back in love. When some of his mental health struggles stems from her, not her fault per se, and I’m not putting the blame on her, but you can’t deny that she’s wrapped up in Ted’s struggle with mental health.

It would also feel strange that she’d fall back in love with him when they’re in two different countries with what I assume is very limited contact. We know they talk but how much time do they actually spend on talking about things that doesn’t have to do with Henry? And I know the saying “absence makes the heart grow fonder” but they tried that and it didn’t work, she still wanted a divorce. The one time we saw her come and visit she cries because she wants out of their marriage. But now all of a sudden, when they’ve gone through a divorce and she’s seeing someone else, then she suddenly wants Ted back? No thank you.

Michelle has honestly treated Ted kind of badly with the whole Jake thing, not telling him that she was serious enough with someone that she wanted to introduce him to their child. And the fact that she's dating their former couple's therapist is such a shitty thing to do. Like honestly, who the fuck does that? I don't blame her for wanting a divorce, that's fine. Yes it sucks for Ted but sometimes these things just happens. But I do not approve of the way she's handled things after the divorce. So for me having them get back together will never be a legitimate option.

I think that they’re building up to them being better co-parents. Getting them to the point where they are friends again. So that they eventually, in the future can have get togethers with their future partners and future grandchildren, without having to have separate celebrations and so on.

[oldfashionedmorphine]

Listen. I haven’t watched Ted Lasso. I do not plan on watching Ted Lasso (just not my thing). However last night I was dreaming and who should walk into my dreams but ROY KENT AND JAMIE TARTT. This is YOUR FAULT. I have ABSORBED YOUR BLORBOS THROUGH OSMOSIS

my bad

[bethanydelleman]

So the Mansfield Park relationship between Mary and Edmund is Ted and Robin from How I Met Your Mother.

Robin has very clearly stated she doesn't want children, Ted absolutely wants kids. For some reason they date anyway, for a super long time! And it just made me angry. You guys are in your thirties, get your act together! Love cannot cover unreconcilable differences!

So dear Edmund, just propose or give up! You keep wishing Mary will change, but she won't! Being a pastor is fundamental to Edmund; not wanting to be stuck in the country is fundamental to Mary. You can't fix that. Love cannot cover everything.

Mary does decide to accept Edmund if he proposes, but will she really like the life she would have chosen? In a big way, these two were saved by fate.

I will pity Edmund a little more because he's much younger and he's never been in love before. I have no patience for Ted. (and yes, the ending was stupid and makes the mother seem like a baby maker that Ted had to get through to make it to Robin)

[borealing]

loving seeing the other traumatised kids out there whos parents put their entire emotional stability on them and then blamed a child for not being able to give a parent emotional fulfillment hate the season finale lmaoooooooooo

[seokmattchuus]

I'm finding it hard to believe only one G team won. Especially the team the G center was in 🙄

[astonmartinii]

you and me got a whole lotta history | charles leclerc social media au

pairing: charles leclerc x historian!reader

y/n is a historian and it’s not her fault her bf’s job takes him all around the world…

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, danielricciardo and 102,561 others

location: melbourne 📍

yourusername: so it’s the australian grand prix and i’ve spent the start of the week exploring this old city. one of my stops was the historic old melbourne gaol. this now museum was once a prison that housed some of the most feared criminals in australian history. constructed in 1839, the old melbourne gaol saw 133 hanged for their crimes between 1845 and 1924. it was briefly used during world war two but ceased operation as a prison in 1924 and was renovated to be part of the RMIT university and the museum it is today. a definite must if you’re visiting melbourne !!

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user1: my fave part of the race week is y/n’s museum recommendations tbf

user2: i can vision charles being dragged around this place hating his life

charles_leclerc: the things we do for love

yourusername: you said you enjoyed it :(

charles_leclerc: I DID

user2: oops

yourusername: i’ll leave you at the hotel next time

charles_leclerc: it was scary but i enjoyed it because i was with you

yourusername: okay that’s better

danielricciardo: so my farm isn’t good enough for you

yourusername: noooooo danny i thought we were going after the race?

danielricciardo: oof my bad

user3: petition for there to be a teds notebook but it’s y/n giving us a historical guide to the city the race is in

f1: we’re listening @skysportsf1

charles_leclerc

liked by yourusername, scuderica ferrari and 788,341 others

tagged: yourusername

charles_leclerc: tough race in melbourne but a beautiful city regardless

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user4: HE served, we don’t talk about the race

yourusername: i don’t mean to say i told you so but i did say our day trip would be the best part

user5: girl you’re gonna get banned from the ferrari garage

yourusername: they deserve far worse than what i’m saying let’s be real

user5: true

user6: i love how charles didn’t reply ferrari has his ass ON LOCK

carlossainz55: we'll come back stronger

danielricciardo: we can all commiserate at my farm bro

charles_leclerc: your farm better be as good as you're saying now

danielricciardo: nervously awaiting the y/n review

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, maxverstappen1 and 104,561 others

location: miami 📍

yourusername: though miami may be known for it's partying (it's all about the U), charles and i took our monday to take a stroll around st bernard de clairvaux church, one of miami's hidden gems. the church was originally built in spain all the way back in 1141 to the style of cistercian romanesque architecture for alfonso vii. the monastry's cloister was illegally purchased by american william randolph hearst in 1926 and in order for the church to be transported it was dismantled to 11,000 pieces and sent to the us where it was rebuilt and still stands to this day.

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user7: i'm never gonna be able to afford to go to miami so why did i read this whole thing like i'll visit some day?

yourusername: history is important and interesting, always good to read even if you never visit !!

user8: she's like the older sister i never had

user9: did charles enjoy this one more?

yourusername: "at least i'll get a tan here"

charles_leclerc: i feel like anyone who reads about me in your comments will think i'm an asshole, i have fun every time i just don't understand most of it

yourusername: i know you have fun baby (and i love you for driving us to all of these places)

user10: have you considered our super historic frat house this saturday night?

user11: imagine thinking you have a chance when her literal boyf is CHARLES LECLERC

user10: every goal has a goalkeeper doesn't mean you can't score

charles_leclerc: i will run you over

user12: omg ferrari's pr is quaking

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, lancestroll and 112,677 others

yourusername: it is my biggest honour to announce my position as a history lecturer here at oxford!! i always dreamed of studying here and to get to pass on my knowledge to those looking to follow in my footsteps is a huge pleasure and responsibility.

p.s. no worries, it is not full time so race week explorations will continue.

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user13: so it was true :(((((( wait i just read the whole post my bad

user14: so i guess i now need to turn my Cs into As if i wanna attend a y/n lecture

charles_leclerc: unbelievably proud of you my love - don't miss me too much

yourusername: you sure i can't persuade you to move to england with me :(

charles_leclerc: i'll be there as much as i can be but monaco is still our home

yourusername: always

landonorris: proud of you smarty pants

yourusername: thank you landito

landonorris: so you'll now root for the brits?

charles_leclerc: over my dead body

yourusername: what charlie said

charles_leclerc

liked by pierregasly, yourusername and 1,209,778 others

tagged: yourusername

charles_leclerc: super happy for another win for the season but we keep pushing for the real prize at the end of the season - thank you for your continued support tifosi and my love y/n who stayed up all the way in oxford ❤️

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user20: i don't wanna jinx it but like the season is going well

user21: too well....

yourusername: winning looks good on you

charles_leclerc: you look better on me

pierregasly: oh god you've been apart for a triple header and now you're being horny on main

yourusername: says mr. doggy emoji

pierregasly: touche

user22: so charles can mathematically win in either austin or brazil FUCK THEM KIDS I NEED Y/N AT THESE RACES

user23: if she's not there for charles wdc i am personally going to have a sleepover on the train tracks

yourusername added to their story

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, lewishamilton and 503,786 others

tagged: charles_leclerc

yourusername: the autodromo jose carlos pace is the crown jewel of the interlagos neighbourhood. the circuit opened 83 years ago and has hosted the f1 since 1972. the circuit was originally meant to be a housing area but due to the 1929 stock market crash the owners decided to construct a racing track instead. interlagos is often a season decider with fernando alonso winning both his 2005 and 2006 titles here, kimi raikkonen winning the 2007 championship here, lewis hamilton won the 2008 championship here, jenson button clinched the 2009 title here and CHARLES LECLERC WON HIS FIRST TITLE HERE IN INTERLAGOS FOR THE 2023 SEASON

on a real note i am so proud of you charles, i have seen the sacrifices you have made and the unbelievable amount of effort you pour into every facet of your racing NO ONE deserves this more than you. i am so grateful to have shared this moment with you, here's to many more xxx

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user26: i am unwell this is so fucking cute

user27: bro this is so fucking crazy

charles_leclerc: couldn't have done it without you, so glad you could be there for me xx

yourusername: always charlie xx

yourstudent: miss y/n you can cancel all of our lectures if charles wins the championship again FORZA FERRARI

charles_leclerc: the people have spoken

user28: insane butterfly effect of the wall street crash to charles leclerc 2023 wdc

user29: they make me believe in love

note: this was super random but popped into my head while at work and i knew i had to write it !! hope you enjoyed xx

[squinch-depraved]

ok. now we need the whole damn gang getting their virginity taken, ted but like he’s a little more experienced (knowledge wise) and understands the female body ⁉️

here you go my lovelies part 5 of the virgin college au (new dividers how do we like them)

so.

ted knocks on your door, only a little bit nervous

and you answer it, immediately rolling your eyes and letting him in just like you did with his friends

"let me fucking guess," you start, already knowing what he's here for

"i can do better than them," he cuts you off

"i've done research, i've talked to my friends that are girls, i know i could make you feel better than they did for my first time."

his refusal to beat around the bush takes you by surprise, and you wince as you look around to see if your roommate heard him

"a-alright, ted. follow me, just... shut up. my roommate hasn't left yet."

he nods, grinning, and trails behind you all the way down the hallway and into your room, setting his stuff down on the floor next to the doorway as you crawl onto your bed

jesus, schlatt wasn't wrong. there are so many stuffed animals, ted thinks to himself as he stands there awkwardly, awaiting your instructions

"he talked about my fucking plushies, didn't he," you chuckle, noticing his expression as he tried to count how many there were

"to be fair, he said it was really cute. and he wasn't wrong," ted replies smoothly, walking to sit on the edge of the mattress

"does he know about charlie?" you ask quietly, unable to look him in the eyes

"the text you sent him. he read it."

"fuck," you sigh, running one hand through your hair

"i hope it doesn't cause problems between you guys. schlatt and i have talked; we're not exclusive. i told him that. he can't be mad."

"i don't think he's mad at you," ted reassures you. "i think he's a little hurt that charlie went to you the first weekend he wasn't here, but he'll probably get over it pretty quickly. he's not the type to hold a grudge like that, especially against one of his best friends and the person who took his virginity."

you ponder his words, shaking your head to clear yourself of the knowledge and focus on the task at hand after a few moments

"what exactly makes you think you could fuck me better?" you ask, reclining onto the pile of stuffed animals and stretching your legs out in front of you

ted stammers for only a second, then swiftly responds with, "for starters, i've heard quite a bit about you from schlatt and charlie. kinda goin' into this with a head start, don't you think?"

"'head start' as in you'll finish first? no thanks," you banter

but ted's quick to quip back

"i don't plan on finishing first. but even if i do, i'll go until i make you cum. i'll use my mouth, fingers, whatever you want. hell, i'll keep going with my cock if that's what you need. probably get super overstimulated but i want to make you feel good. i need to do better than them."

you open and close your mouth a few times, trying to find the right response

"y-you're really competitive, huh?"

he laughs quietly and shakes his head

"i just think someone like you deserves to be treated well. more so than those two can do for you."

"you know, you're really lucky you're attractive? because if you weren't, this whole confident, never-been-touched-before-but-i-know-what-i'm-doing schtick would be incredibly annoying."

ted grins, a goofy smile that warms your heart slightly, and jokes, "it'll get annoying fast. just wait."

with a snort, you motion for him to crawl on top of you, and he does, staring down at you with his gorgeous hazel eyes for a few seconds before leaning in to press a kiss to your lips

"mmmfhhh," you moan against him as he gently bites down onto your bottom lip

ted smirks into the kiss and uses one hand to cup your face as he slides his tongue into your mouth, other hand reaching under your shirt to feel for your chest

once he takes your nipple between his fingers, you gasp and arch your back slightly, desperate for more contact

frustratedly, you withdraw from the kiss, a string of saliva leaving you connected

he watches with a hungry smile as you peel your top off, taking the strings of your sweatpants in one hand and tugging on them gently

"greedy!!" you tease him

but you indulge him, slipping out of the pants and tossing them off the side of the bed

his breath hitches in his throat at the sight of you nearly bare in front of him, clad in only a skimpy pair of panties that he so desperately wants to rip off with his teeth

"thought you said you know what you're doing," you snicker, amused by his vacant expression

your joke snaps him out of it, and he pulls his shirt over his head with one arm, reaching behind him to grab the fabric from the nape of his neck and paying no mind as it falls to the floor

"f-fuck," you stutter

he's thrown you off a bit with how smooth the motion is, not to even mention how good he looks just wearing jeans

ted notices your hesitation and grins, spreading your legs open and crawling in between them

"they weren't this forward, were they?"

you let out a shaky breath as he plants a sloppy kiss to your neck

"no," you sigh. "they weren't."

"mm. bet you had to tell them what to do."

"yeah, i did. schlatt was okay, he got the hang of it, but charlie was- agh! fuck!" you hiss when he takes your flesh between his teeth and bites down, sucking a dark mark into it

"ted!!"

"what?" he purrs, pulling away to look at you

usually you were the one that left the bruises

now, whenever you saw schlatt, you'd have even more explaining to do

when he realizes you're unable to come up with anything to say, he smirks down at you and moves to kiss your chest

"you were telling me about charlie?" he asks before taking one nipple in his mouth and swirling his tongue around it

"yeah. um, fuck. uhh, he was... he was good," you stammer, rolling your eyes back into your head slightly

"he didn't give a lot of details. i'm guessing he's more of a gentleman than schlatt?"

your face heats up even more at his words uttered against your warm skin

"you could say that." you decide to not say anything else in case charlie was embarrassed

"fuck, you're so hot," he groans as he presses his face between your breasts and brings them to sandwich his head

a laugh escapes you, the melodic sound filling the air and causing ted to raise his head to look at you

"this isn't sexy, is it?"

you giggle again and smooth down a wild tuft of his hair

"not in the usual way, but your awkward eagerness to please is kind of turning me on."

he grins again and sits up, unbuttoning his jeans and sliding them off

you try not to, but you can't help but stare at his clothed bulge

he looks so sexy in his boxers, a small happy trail now complimenting his chest hair

"what?" he asks, smile faltering for just a moment when you can't do anything but admire him

"n-nothing. i just-"

"doesn't matter," he cuts you off by clambering on top of you again, leaning in to make out with you passionately

a surprised, yet aroused moan slips from your lips, and he uses one hand to tug off your panties in a seamless motion that you swear he has to have practiced before

"so wet for me already, damn."

you can hear the smile in his voice as he leans back and spreads your folds open with two fingers

"gonna taste you now."

"mhm," you answer absent-mindedly, too focused on the way his cock twitches through his boxers

ted stares up at you once he positions himself right in front of your cunt, giving you a look of pure desire

gingerly, he scoots closer and presses a wet kiss to your clit, eyes flicking between your dazed expression and your soaked pussy to make sure he's doing it right

eventually he starts dipping his tongue into your hole, savoring the taste and mirroring you by groaning softly into you

you're whining and moaning and bucking your hips in pure bliss, because, for once, you don't have to teach this fool how to make you feel good

he's incredible; better than schlatt was at first

"ted!! fuck, fuck me, oh my god," you babble, bringing your legs to wrap around his head

"mm, not yet. enjoying how sweet you are on my tongue," he coos into your dripping core

with an agonized wail, you tangle your fingers in his hair and pull him even closer against your cunt

"this isn't fair," you whine, yet you smile dreamily as you say it

"i think it is. you put up with so many guys that don't know what they're doing, and finally one comes along who did the research to know how to make you feel good, and you just wanna rush things. it's sad."

"research won't mean shit if i get you worked up enough," you chuckle breathlessly

"maybe. we'll have to see," he muses, shoving his face back between your thighs

the unexpectedness of the whole situation makes it surprisingly easy for you to cum

ted picks up on your signals, speeding up when you start arching your back, curling his fingers inside you when you begin to scream his name

a mess is made all over his face, along with your bedsheets, when you release; stars fleck your vision and pulse in time with your heartbeat, which you can hear clear as day in your ears

"see? now i can fuck you," he pants, immense pride obvious in his tone

"shut the fuck up and take those off," you growl, reaching to tug at the hem of his boxers

he laughs and obliges, pumping himself in one hand and absorbing the look of hunger in your eyes

"fuck, ted," you whisper, excited to take his length, but unsure of how much it would hurt

"oh! hold on," he exclaims, rising from the bed and going to dig into his bag by the door

it takes him a second, and you impatiently blow some hair out of your face as you wait, but he returns with a condom

just tears it open with his teeth and slides it on, with relative ease, considering he's never used one before

once he's wrapped, he slides between your legs again, kissing you one more time before pressing his tip to your entrance

"you ready?"

he sounds so loving, so patient

so it's a shock when you mumble a, "yes," and he pushes into you forcefully, not enough to hurt, but enough to make you gasp and wince

"what's wrong??" he asks, taking one of your hands in his and bringing it to his lips to kiss

"nothing. big. hurts a bit. just go," you spit out rapidly

ted grins and proceeds to start pumping in and out of you, head falling forward as he processes the pleasure he's receiving as your walls envelop him

"fuck, baby!" he grunts once he establishes a brutal pace

"this good?"

"you like how i'm fuckin' you?"

unable to speak, you nod and dig your nails into his back, clawing him up and down

"not bad for my first time, right?" he chuckles

"you- fuck! have got the ego of a god," you gasp, locking your legs around him

"good thing i fuck like one, then, hmm?"

you let out a strangled growl, a bit mad that he actually is as good as he said he'd be, and dig your nails deeper into his back

"you're so fucking annoying," you manage to choke out

"hah! see, told you it'd get annoying fast," he laughs

"god, fuck, ted, i don't- i'm gonna cum again- i'm- fuck..." you ramble, squeezing your legs tighter and tighter around him

"you keep- ngh, clenching like that around me and i'm gonna cum too," he groans, more breathless than before

"fuuuck, teddy!!!" you wail, your whole body shuddering for a moment before going limp

ted just grunts and slams into you a bit harder a few more times, burying himself in you and collapsing onto you, chest heaving

"get off me, you loser," you tease in mock disgust, secretly enjoying the scent of his sweat as it drips down onto you

he rolls to the other side of the bed, smiling, and stares up at the ceiling as he tries to catch his breath

you joke with each other for a few minutes before your phone starts ringing

a glance at the screen reveals it's schlatt calling

ted starts getting dressed as soon as he sees who it is

and good thing too, because as soon as you answer, schlatt's voice rings through the phone, audible to both of you even though he's not on speaker

"i'm on my way over right now. we need to fucking talk."

that's all he says before he hangs up

the terrified expression on your face is enough for ted to toss his bag over his shoulder and rest one hand on your bedroom dorknob

"i should probably leave, huh?"

"yeah."

"...cool. we should do this again, though, right?"

a small smile spreads across your face

"...yeah."

[nvmadic]

best friends!ted and schlatt are the first people you go to after your boyfriend has the nerve to call you a slut and other mean because of a dress you wore to a night clubbing with him but then ALSO having the nerve to send pictures of him with other girls all over him as 'revenge'

so when you stop answering your phone, he's trying to call you over and over again, but finally, one of his calls gets answered but it's not by you: it's ted.

"yesssss?" he answers with the smuggest, sing-song voice, clearly amused at the audacity of your boyfriend calling you after that stunt.

"dude, where's my girl at?"

"your girl," ted laughs. "you're not that smart. you don't realize you just lost any right to call her that after today."

"what? dude, give my girlfriend the phone!"

"mm, okay, i'll put it on speaker for you," ted hums, pressing the button. instantly, the sound of you whimpering and mewling schlatt's name hits your boyfriend's ears. "that's it, such a good girl, my pretty girl," schlatt praises, a little lovesick smile on his face as he thumbs your clit.

"sorry she's not responding. she's busy gettin' some well-deserved comfort right now," ted says, eyes lidded as he watches the way schlatt's fingers worked at you. his mouth is pressing kisses all over your neck as you sit in his lap, your legs over his thighs.

"who's a good girl? say it, say you're our good girl, say you're our pretty baby," schlatt coos into your ear, wanting you to respond. he knows you were hurt by the names and things your now ex said, so he wanted that motherfucker to hear how pretty you sound when getting praised like you deserved.

"'s me, 's me, jay, i'm your good girl," you manage between moans, grinding against his hand. "please, please lemme cum, please?"

"ohh, when you sound so good like that, I'll do anything you fucking ask for, princess," schlatt groans before picking up his pace, the room filling with the wet noises coming from between your legs.

as your moans got louder, ted just chuckles into the phone. "mm, you don't need to hear any more of that. thanks for fuckin' up, though, pal! we finally upgraded from best friends with our pretty girl. and don't worry, we'll be better boyfriends than you ever fucking could be. bye-bye!"

yeah...i like them a lot 🖤

i am gobsmacked… going to go and touch grass.

[appleblueberry-pie]

Im back with another yandere satoru request hehehe

So, I was wondereding what would happen if Satoru's beloved found out about his very unhealthy obession with her?

Hold on, lemme cook rq- So, instead of getting the fuck away from him (like most logical people would do) she decides to try her best to get him some help. Like, she'd confront him about his very distirbing behavior, (basically tearing down his entire facade and presenting it to him) and when he's begging her not to be afraid of him, not to abandon him, she tells him that she wants him to get help.

Heres where I kinda got a little stuck....the thing is...he would listen to her every beck and call, but would he really get the help he needs, or would he decieve her and trick her into beliving that he's getting better when in realitly he hasn't changed at all. (He's just alot more careful about what he does behind her back.)

Mkayyy, thats all folks. Thanks for coming to my ted talk.

You kept hearing noises from your backyard.

It woke you up. You couldn't really recognize what it was, but you really hoped it wasn't raccoons eating your berries again. You admit, your garden has many fruits and vegetables, but you certainly didn't want them being eaten. They took too long to grow! So, you got out of bed, threw on your robe over your night gown and quickly made your way downstairs to your backdoor.

When you opened the door and stepped onto the grass, everything seemed fine. Your strawberries were intact. Carrots still growing. No lemons dropped from the tree. But to the far right, you did see a familiar figure continuously puncturing another man's insides with a pretty dangerous looking knife thing.

Someone was in your yard.

Someone was being killed in your yard.

You're within distance of a killer.

By the time the realization set in, the familiar looking man had already saw you staring at him. It was Satoru Gojo.

You both stared at each other. It grew painfully silent and you took a step back, your eyebrows furrowing. You began hearing your heartbeat in your ears and began breathing faster. Your lips separated, probably to scream, and Satoru dropped the knife, immediately running over to you to shut you up in time.

When he trapped you in his arms, you tried to scream in surprise, but he already had one of his hands covering the entire bottom half of your face. "SHHHHHHHhhhhhh. shhhhhhhh. shhhhhh." His heartbeat thumped against your upper back and you tried to look up at him. He was already staring down at you with those big blue eyes and you tried to take his hand off of your mouth. "It's okay, baby. You're alright. It's alright."

Well, he didn't kill you, so clearly you didn't have to be scared. You still tried to talk and he tilted his head. "......you gonna scream if I let you go?" You shook your head. He stared down at you, as if he was trying to catch you in a lie. But then he laughed and finally loosened his hold on you. You took his hand off of your mouth and turned around. "...............Why are you killing someone in my yard?"

He says nothing.

You try to look back at the corpse and he blocks your way. "Fertilizer."

You avert your gaze and hug yourself. "For your tree."

"I already fertilized it two weeks ago. You were there. It doesn't need fertilizer until like a few months later." Satoru goes silent and sighs.

"Alright, babe. You caught me." He stalks closer to you and stops when he's directly in front of you.

"I killed him because he was a terrible waste of space." His smile was unnerving and you only felt more uncomfortable and confused. "What....?" "....He was useless. And he got in the way." The way he spoke made things a little awkward between the two of you. Did this have something to do with you and him? You hoped not. But with the way he said it, and the way he was staring at you began giving you confirmation that this was the case.

"He doesn't deserve you like I do." You inhale sharply and take a step back towards your door. "Satoru-" "No, I'm serious."

"You can't just....kill someone. He's dead!" His shoulders shake as he laughs at your statement. "You think I don't know that? That's the whole point. To die." You shake your head, "I-I need to get you help. This isn't okay. You shouldn't think it's okay to kill someone just to....I don't even know."

"To have you," He states. But you didn't hear. You were already back in the house to research different forms of treatment he could possibly receive. You didn't know what you were going to do with the body.

Satoru did plan to use it as fertilizer.

He lied to you for 12 weeks. And he hated every second of it. He never liked hiding shit from you. Which is why he straight up told you that he killed that dumbass from a while ago. You deserve better than some liar. But he'd be damned if he let some random take you away from him. So, he told you that he was going to the therapist that he been paid off and also killed.

He told you the body was taken care of and you didn't have to worry about it. After all, your tree leaves looked perkier than usual(he didn't tell you that either).

When you heard he was consistently meeting with his therapist, you let him take you out more often. You let him hang out at your place to have sleepovers if you had the time, and you realized that you might have a small crush on him. You shouldn't have a crush on a killer, but here you were. You should've called the police on him a long time ago(not like he'd get rid of them either), but he promised you he'd be good. And he has been. So you trust him.

Satoru learned to stop doing things like being a killer when you're around. It was smart to do it at night. But definitely not where you live. Probably the stupidest thing he's ever done. He should buy that house a few towns off. Everyone would be better off dying in there anyways, especially if there'd be no trace of them in the first place.

He's lucky you're gullible.

[average-hyperfixator]

This is probably the weirdest way to show that I'm in the Mouthwashing fandom, and like nobody is going to see this BUT

If I see ONE MORE person compare Ted to Jimmy I'm going to LOSE MY FUCKING MIND. Is this another testament to people not understanding Ted's overall role in the story and his character arc? YES, YES IT IS. RE READ THE BOOK. RE LISTEN TO THE RADIO DRAMA. GAME IS IT'S OWN CONVERSATION THAT WILL TAKE TOO LONG FOR ME TO DISECT + IT HAS IT'S OWN STORY AND THUS WILL NOT BE INCLUDED HERE.

Jimmy is a jealous man, who assaults (and unfortunately impregnates) Anya, and then tries to crash the ship so he doesn't have to deal with the consequences, and when everyone lives, they live in misery BECAUSE OF HIM. He is the co-pilot, he has more power and authority over the others, and he ACTIVELY makes things worse, and is at fault for the crash and the subsequent fallout. (this section is shorter, simply because I've been in the IHNMAIMS fandom much longer and have way more thoughts on Ted) Ted, on the other hand, is not at fault for the world ending. He is just as trapped as the other five, he's more prone to mental manipulation and THINKING he's better off, but he really isn't. He doesn't have more power of the others because he's also a victim. He is by no means a great guy, or even a good guy; They key difference is that at the end of his story, the book, he actually fucking HELPS. Rather than make his friends continue to live in misery, he puts them out of it, and rather than end his own suffering, he spends those precious few seconds he could be ramming an icicle into himself, comforting Ellen as she dies. It doesn't make up for what he's thought and said, BUT, it's something at least. It's remorse, it's letting her finally be content, it's trying to give her the empathy she showed him time and time again. And he gets turned into a horrid slug creature after, he actively suffers more than everyone else for the rest of time- he self sacrifices so his friends could be at peace. TLDR: Jimmy is objectively selfish and doesn't change much throughout the game, save for MAYBE the very end (ig putting Curly in the pod is one brownie point for him) however Ted actually shows growth by the end of the story, and makes a point to end the suffering of his friends, while ultimately sacrificing himself in the process. If I catch another person equating these two I'm just gonna start throwing hammers at them I DON'T CARE. I am THE Ted defender, and I WILL stand my ground that, while he is no where near perfect, he DOES become a better person by the end of the story and deserves to have that acknowledged. anyway this has been sick rants with me, feel free to add on in reblogs or perchance spark a FRIENDLY debate. I apologize if I come off rude here, Ted and IHNMAIMS have been a hyperfixation of mine for months and I am very easily riled up about the story and characters. adding new tag ; Jace rants 🗯️ ! For all my ranting escapades from now on.

[wellcomeoneileen]

Why does Randy Harrison deserve compensation? What happened to him? You can DM me if it's not okay to be public

Hey! No it’s totally okay.

⚠️disclaimer - I am a NEW fan and so I am NOT the most informed at all. Other people like @brian-kinney-apologist like really know shit. I initially found things bc watching S4 made me go oh there is bts shit going on for sure and googled, and then when I got on tumblr I saw a bunch of posts talking about it, too.

Lots of older sources are harder to find now bc they didn’t do a digital preservation or the website is expired, but here is what I’ve found, from heated Advocate articles whilst the show aired and then from more measured reflections from podcasts around 2016.

Randy was young and it was his first TV show - when he started he didn’t even have an agent, and really didn’t know what he was getting into. He had done sex scenes on stage and thought that he was pretty prepared for what was to come.

However, he has stated he ended up feeling pretty objectified, such as hearing “we need more shots of Justin’s ass” regularly or expressing a desire to not to go-go dancing type scenes (King of Babylon upset him) and then even more go-go dancing being added (S2 Sap scenes). He was also told to act less gay by casting directors for the show, and to “try to be more butch because Justin isn’t out of the closet”

The show pre-dates intimacy coordinators and there have been allusions, including from the actresses Thea and Michelle, that the sex scenes could be uncomfortable to film.

There was BTS clashing, with producer Tony Jones !!reportedly!!! Saying that Randy was a bitch to work with and “showrunners” “reportedly” saying they would never work with Randy again. There are two interview clips, one from when the show was airing, and one from 2016, when CowLip say they wanted all actors to be comfortable on set, and in BOTH clips , like 15 years apart, Randy kinda like laugh/roll his eyes and Gale looks at him very bemusedly. They had bigger reactions in the ~2003 clip.

He was openly pretty angry as the show went on. He told the Advocate that he would never be friends with or respect Justin if real. He disapproved of the Britin relationship. He said he had to fight to include the scene of Justin topping Brian, which was very important to him. Leading into season 5 he stated he hoped Justin was killed off by getting hit by a truck (obviously being glib, but like he was mad lol)

He has said that lots of scenes needed to be reshot because he struggled to do them so much, like the Cody sexy gun scene that made him so uncomfortable, and then either he or Gale said S5 sex scenes were reshot a lot because they just couldn’t stop laughing at that point anymore.

Peter and Scott recently have said the only time anyone asked for actors’ opinions was right after season 1 ended, and to ME they sounded kinda cheeky about it, all these years later, so perhaps it was a cast sticking point? Unsure, and it wasn’t even Randy who said that. Fat grain of salt.

He has more recently reflected on this time period and expressed regret he went out the way he did, and he understands things better and honors his craft more (heavy paraphrasing!) bc he was mentally checked out by the end and wishes he had finished strong instead.

Also, the cast didn’t realize when signing on how isolated they would be from The Industry. Randy has spoken about this in an unrelated podcast, as have the actors who play Ted and Emmett. NYC or LA are where you want to be for networking, and then signing on to spend the majority of the year in Toronto negatively impacted their careers, they feel. Randy has said he had to start from scratch after the show ended, and Peter and Scott have said Showtime had no idea how to market the show nor their stars, and so they had to just watch as all the initial hype fizzled and nothing was done with them. They were contracted to work too much to seriously be involved elsewhere, while simultaneously not getting good exposure, which I IMAGINE created a dire sort of mood and morale on set. < personal interpretation and fictionalizing history.

Meaning, Randy probably at the very least FELT like he had spent five years on a show that didn’t respect him and it was largely for nothing. He has since stated he appreciates the opportunity and it is the reason he was finically secure, for which he is deeply grateful.

And then finally the fans! He had stalker(s?) and tons of creepy people and was heavily typecast and people would come up to him frequently, which made him uncomfy, and would furthermore act like he was actually Justin, which made him super uncomfy. He was kinda like Chappell Roan!! He was like hey I’m not Justin I’m a person and y’all are freaks. He has publicially declined to speak on the stalking issues, which given his vocal responses to other issues, indicates to ME that it’s pretty personal and upsetting (I mean it’s stalking it’s obviously horrible but you know what I mean). During the show he had a boyfriend that fans like tormented online and even on posters (that bit comes from Tumblr or another forum, so not like verified info on my part at all) because they shipped “Gandy” so hard. I know I’ve read on tumblr about the insane Gandy people but all I remember is they were intense and insane and negatively impacted Randy’s actual real life. Again, that’s info from fans that I haven’t read in article or heard from out of his mouth. Secondary source lol.

This point is PURE speculation, but early interviews with the whole cast were super excited, and they all talked about how excited they were for something ground breaking. By the end, people were angry or giving fluff responses, or in Peter’s case; calmly stating the show was a soap opera and that’s okay. I FEEL like everyone thought they were signing up for something more real/gritty/positive impact to society and then were like oh I’m here to look hot in this show that only moms watch to get them turned on to have sex with their husband. Cool.

Now, do I agree with that - no. But, the show audience was vastly different than expected, and the artistic direction might have been too, both of which might have really disappointed people. Esp Randy and maybe Gale. Randy was a capital T theatre person, and Gale was too and had lots of experimental work and like performance art. Randy has ALSO expressed displeasure with some theater work he did because he didn’t think it was fresh and the audience was only older wealthy white people, so we do know that this sort of thing does matter to his sense of fulfillment at work.

TLDR; had to shoot scenes he didn’t want to, several times, felt objectified on set, disagreed with his character’s direction, maybe felt like he wasn’t being listened to artistically, was cut off from other work opportunities, didn’t appear to get along with leadership, had bad fans, was young and in deep over his head, and at the very least *started* with no career or social support system.

Again!! Am not the most knowledgeable person !!! I do NOT want to spread misinformation so hopefully I’ve tagged where I’m reading into things vs actual quotes but also people who have actually been around pls feel free to say 🙋um actuallllyyyyy

[allwaswell16]

[4 pics, 4 quotes, 4 iconic 1D fics]

Iconic Fics by...

- lululawrence -

[1]

Louis turned back to his food, getting his meal ready, and Harry meant to focus on Louis’ notes, he did. But he couldn’t help furtively watching Louis out of the corner of his eye as he hummed to himself, swaying and dancing a little in the kitchen as he finished pulling his lunch together.

He knew he couldn’t have it forever, so Harry did his best to memorize every detail he could. Maybe then, when this arrangement ended and Louis wasn’t around as much, Harry could imagine he still was and he wouldn’t feel lonely.

He suspected that no amount of imagining could ever come close to replacing Louis, though.

[2]

Whoever his soulmate was, Louis hoped they weren’t as bored as he was in that moment. Seriously, if he had to sit through another lecture on how much Mary loved Hamlet he was going to stab himself in the eye just to avoid class next time. He did remember as he watched another blossom slowly come to life that he was supposed to pick up Lottie and take her to dance class, though. He quickly scribbled, “Lotts dance 4,” on his hand so he wouldn’t forget. He wondered what his soulmate thought of that. Louis smiled a bit to himself and then continued to daydream as the vines on his arms grew in size and beauty.

[3]

Harry’s face shifted to something Louis couldn’t read.

“You don’t even know me.”

“Yeah, but I know you deserve to be treated with kindness just like anyone.” Louis cracked a smile. “Besides. I wanted to punch Niall earlier. You were kind to him even when he was being a total ass.”

Harry laughed heartily, and Louis felt butterflies erupt in his chest. It was the first time he’d seen more than a tiny smile out of Harry. He had dimples. They were deep and uneven and beautiful, just like his laugh was a little overloud. It was so distinctly Harry. Louis could tell that even after having known him for just a few hours.

[4]

He walked out, taking a little more note of what surrounded him this time around, but the only thing he recognized was his shirt laying on a chair in the kitchenette. Louis scrubbed his hands through his gross hair before he remembered getting soaked with champagne during the show the night before. That mixed with his sweat and the inordinate amounts of alcohol he was sure he consumed was enough to make Louis seriously crave a shower.

First, though, he had to figure out who he’d woken up in bed with and what the hell was going on with the ring on his finger.

Louis heard a voice that sounded familiar coming from the bedroom. The voice was quiet enough that Louis couldn’t hear what he was saying, but oh God some of the pieces were coming together.

- answers below -

1. Caught In Your Gravity

It felt like the blood froze in Harry’s veins even as he got a bit lightheaded. He hadn’t even made it two practices, only one of which he was remotely in charge of, without giving it all away and now he and Liam were both absolutely fucked.

“Shit,” Harry breathed out. “Who all have you told? Does everyone know? I thought I covered it better than that…”

“No, no,” Louis said quickly. "They’ll figure it out soon enough, though, because they’ll get used to you changing things up, but you’re only going to trip over your so called Americanisms for so long before they realize it’s because you don’t actually know fuck all about football.”

Harry sighed. “Yeah. I figured. I just need to bullshit for long enough to allow Liam to get the situation figured out from his end.”

“Right, which brings me to my entire point. I think we can find a mutually beneficial arrangement with all of this.” Louis leaned forward. “You need to learn the ins and outs of the sport incredibly fast. I can help you with that.”

“What do you want in exchange?”

Or, an AU inspired by a 30 second trailer of Ted Lasso that doesn't actually have much in common with the show at all.

2. Drawn to You

It had started with Louis getting in trouble for coloring on himself when he hadn’t touched a felt tip pen the entire day. Through the years, the random drawings had evolved and changed. There was a period in sixth form when his soulmate must have gotten shy or something, because the drawings only happened after school hours and in places that others wouldn’t be as likely to see. The inside of his bicep, his thigh. A couple times he even had drawings appear on his ribcage. While he didn’t mind those few years, he did seem somewhat soothed when they began to appear on his left arm again. He’d missed them.

Or that completely self indulgent soulmates au that plays out in not always romantic ways.

3. The World Will Open Its Arms

Harry scrubbed at the countertop. It wasn’t even dirty, but it was three in the morning and the girl who was supposed to relieve him over an hour ago never showed. He was now on hour ten of his shift and his feet hurt and his back ached and he was trying not to cry, thanks to more fucking judgmental alpha truckers who could smell it on him.

Of course they could. He practically lived at the diner. The entire place reeked of it.

Unbonded pregnant omega.

4. Will Love Be There

Louis didn’t care who he had to pay or how much, but he was pretty sure he would give his entire life’s savings and a year’s salary if it meant that whatever was causing someone’s fucking phone to ring would stop.

The person calling must have gone to voicemail, because it stopped ringing and vibrating, but it started up again almost immediately.

“Make it stop,” Louis whined. He lifted his head enough to pull the pillow out from beneath it and smothered his head to dull the sound. “Oh shit, I think I’m gonna puke.”

“Just be sure to get out of bed first, please,” a deep, gravelly voice said from right beside Louis.

“Holy fucking shit!” Louis cried in surprise as he shot up in bed.

Or the one where Louis attends a Steve Aoki concert and accidentally ends up with a husband.

[lesbianhouseplant]

Okay I have been seeing a lot of (god I can’t believe I’m actually about to fucking type this term rn) suffering Olympics on here,a thing of “this group is more oppressed” or “it’s harder for this group”. And yes, that may be true. But for fucks sake, in saying these things people only further a divide that is already wider than the Grand Canyon. There is literally only one group who is not suffering in this hell of a reality, and that is the rich. Because it doesn’t matter what gender, race, etc you are if you’re rich. Yeah you might get some mean comments online, but what, are you gonna get rejected for work? Fuck no, because you don’t need to work. Are you gonna be denied service? Probably not, because you’re rich and people like rich people for some god damn reason. By saying these things, it can lead to people becoming angry, even at those who don’t deserve anger. I have seen feminists on here, people who I would hope and pray would be on the side for all women, hell, for all of humanity, fighting against trans women and claiming they only got to where they are because of male privilege. And I’ve seen said trans women bashing back about cis privilege. And both are true, trans women, at least pre transition, do/did have male privilege. And cis women do have cis privilege. But that isn’t our biggest god damn problem. People who are supposed to be our ally’s are not our biggest problem.

By saying any group amongst us, especially amongst marginalized groups such as lgbtq, neurodiverse, poc, and disabled people, somehow have it better or worse than others, we are only distracting ourselves from the problem at hand. And that is exactly what the rich businessmen and politicians like Bezos and Musk and Trump and Kamala want. For us to be so divided that we can’t see when they outlaw feeding us housed people (like in Houston, Texas) or fund an apartheid (like in Israel). First we must make sure that everyone’s fed and alive and not being bombed before we can focus, at least primarily, on other societal issues.

Thanks for coming to me Ted talk

[illiterateaffairs]

DISTRACTIONS SCENE BETWEEN | STAY LIKE THIS FOREVER

pairing: jamie tartt x f!reader (ted lasso)

rating: T

word count: 1,190

summary: the first time you spend the night at jamie’s place. this takes place between chapters three and four of distractions. 

A/N: here is the first missing scene from distractions! sorry this is posted so late but it’s still monday for me! i plan on doing a few of these here and there, and will be posting another for ted day tomorrow. please let me know if there are any other moments, either mentioned or implied, you’d like to see from distractions! because i had a busy memorial day weekend, i haven’t had the chance to get chapter seven of distractions in a perfect place, so want to make sure you guys have some small things to hold you over. chapter seven should be out friday!

distractions masterlist 

There were a lot of things that brought you to Jamie’s door that night. 

One was homesickness. You had made the mistake of going on Facebook - a mistake in and of itself - and happened upon pictures of your extended family at a get-together for God knows what. It really didn’t matter. It was just a reminder of what you were missing, even before moving to another continent. You could count on one hand the number of times you got to go home to see your dads in the last few years, and lately it's been hitting you harder how much you missed them.

The second was also Facebook's fault. As you continued scrolling through the app in a depressed haze, you’d happened upon a post from Mason’s mom. God you really needed to unfriend him and his whole family. She had posted pictures of their family; Mason and Chloe included. Without even thinking, you’d clicked on Mason’s profile and saw his updated status.

In a relationship.

He and Chloe were Facebook official. 

While this didn’t surprise you, it still didn’t make you feel good. It was embarrassing the hold he still had on you, even though you’ve long since realized you deserved better than him. It just wasn’t fair that he got to flaunt his perfect, new relationship even though he fucked up and cheated. Eventually, you knew you’d stop caring, but right now all you needed was to get your mind off of your ex and his new girlfriend immediately. 

The third reason you came to see Jamie was a bit more complicated, and you didn’t even fully understand it. The reason being that you just really wanted to see him. You chalked it up to being lonely and horny, and didn’t dwell on the swirling feelings any longer than you should’ve. 

You knocked on his door around 10PM. You were worried he might already be asleep, or out training with Roy. You felt more relieved than you should when you heard the pads of his feet approach the front door. When he opened it, his first reaction was one of surprise, before his expression became pleased. He barely had time to formulate a greeting when your lips were on his. Jamie didn’t need instructions. He immediately hoisted you into his arms and carried you to his room. 

While you were used to Jamie’s generosity in bed, he was extra giving that night. You’d quickly learned it was because he’d sensed your tension. After round three or four - you couldn’t keep track - you and Jamie were laying side by side. He’d slowly turned to face you, and pulled his sheets up to cover you both. He gently thumbed your chin, coaxing you to face him as well. 

“Are you alright?” he’d asked softly. 

“Why wouldn’t I be?” 

Jamie shrugged, “You’re quieter than usual.”

You chuckled, “What? I wasn’t loud enough for you before?”

He rolled his eyes, but smirked slightly, “No, I mean, you’re usually more talkative.”

“Are you saying I talk too much?”

You realized his hand was still making contact with your face when he reached down to lightly pinch your shoulder, “Stop it. I like when you talk, but you’ve barely said a word since you’ve been here. And while I definitely do not mind the surprise visit, you’ve never come to my place before. Just wondering if something happened.”

You sighed, no longer able to meet his eye. “It’s really nothing. Was just feeling off today.”

Jamie hummed, “Do you want to talk about it?”

“I don’t think so,” you shook your head, “Not right now.” 

“Okay. Do you want to talk about anything?”

“Hmm,” you basked in his attention and the way he was playing with your hair for a second, “What did you want to be when you grew up?”

“What?” Jamie let out a confused laugh. 

“You know, like when you were a kid, did you always want to be a football player, or did you want to be something else?”

“Huh,” Jamie thought for a beat, “I feel like I don’t remember a time when I didn’t want to be a footballer. After my mom got me into it, I never looked back.”

“That doesn’t surprise me,” you mused.

“What about you?” he asked after a few seconds. 

“I think in kindergarten I wanted to be a ballerina because I watched Barbie Swan Lake.”

“Of course.”

“And then when I was 9 or 10 I wanted to be a meteorologist. Or no, a storm chaser!” 

Jamie laughed loudly, “What? Why?”

“I don’t know. I watched the Wizard of Oz and thought tornadoes were cool as hell.”

“I think that’s the opposite of what you’re supposed to think.”

“Yeah, well, I’m not like other girls,” you both laughed. “But then in middle school, I took my first creative writing class and I was hooked. I felt like I could write forever.” 

“Is that what you did before you came here?” he questioned.

“Sort of. I wrote for an advertising agency, but I wasn’t passionate about it. What I really want to do is be an author,” you admitted quietly.

“Yeah? That’d be so cool.” Jamie whispered, still twisting your hair between his fingers. 

“I think so, too,” you smiled a bit, “But I just haven’t had any inspiration lately.”

Jamie nodded, “Well I bet when you do start writing again, it’ll be great.”

“How would you know? You’ve never read my writing.”

“I just know.” After another few beats of silence, he continues even quieter, “Would you ever let me read something of yours, when you do?”

You studied him through your lashes, before giving him a tiny smile of your own. “Maybe,” you respond coyly. “You have to promise to lie to me and tell me you love it even if you hate it, though.”

Jamie huffs, “I doubt that’ll happen, but I promise.” 

“Thank you.”

You and Jamie kept chatting for a few more minutes before your eyelids grew heavy. As you drifted off, you note how comfortable and at ease you feel with Jamie. Whether it's when you’re hooking up, or just enjoying each other’s company, you feel nice and safe. It was a new feeling, and you didn’t know what it meant, especially when you were half asleep, but you liked it. 

The two of you slept soundly, wrapped up in one another, until around 4AM when you heard pounding coming from the front door. Without opening your eyes, you groan as you feel Jamie pull himself out of bed and out of your arms. 

“I’m sorry, it’s Roy,” he whispered, “I’ve got to get to training.” 

You let out another noise of protest and Jamie chuckled quietly. 

“Next time we stay at my place where Roy can’t find us,” you mumbled tiredly.

“Sounds good to me.”

You barely registered what must have been Jamie kissing your cheek before you’re falling back asleep. 

You were fully out again as Jamie quickly and quietly got ready. Before he jogged downstairs to meet Roy, he indulged himself with one last lingering look at your sleeping form. 

God, you were cute.

A/N: once again, please let me know what you think!! and if there are any other missing scenes you’d like to see! <3 p.s. anyone who asked to be on the taglist today/yesterday I will make sure you’re included in my post tomorrow!

Taglist: @atabigail @boundtomyfate @sammysgirl1997 @lil-tracys @shephard17895 @alaspice @itsbarbraann @redpool @drmeghanjones @straightforwardly @alex-sulli @aiyaiy @artemismaximoff @roadtoself-love @theloud-yet-quietone @forcesofgrief @kirisimpster @geek-and-proud @grippleback-galaxy @lalla-04p @gabbycoady13 @royalestrellas @qardasngan @creationcitystreet-em @percysaidnever @emily-b @mrfitzsimmons @k-n-e @agentstarkid @legobatmans9thab @mrsprongs25 @escapismqueen @sokkigarden @for-fuck-sake-im-alive @dollfaceyourfear @dicgohargreeves @heyitz-julia @vampirodelascajas @grxcesmind @lizziel1410 @bcon24 @looooooooomis @queen-of-dumbasses @moseyluvs @alipap3 @amachira @respondingtoshowerthoughts-blog @daphneblakeswife​ @chelseamount​ @k0z3me​ @lickitandsendit3​ @miakreid​ @shimmeringfrenchie​  @meg-ro​ ​@spookysins @a-sweet-little-fangirl @optimisticsandwichgladiator @marveltg365 @ringpopdust @gcidrvsh @beardsplitter @scaramou   @ibong-adarnaaa @piper570 @eviemae263782 it wouldn’t let me tag the last few of you, let me know if its something with your settings, otherwise i can keep trying in future updates! <3  ​

[thecourtjester-e]

Do You Have to Let it Linger? Part 4

A/N: y’all wanted a twist? (Short chapter the end is near)

CW: substance abuse, angst, yearning, depression, anger issues

SCHLATT POV

“GOD, you can be so STUPID.”

As soon as he said it he froze. He tossed the phone onto the table and put his head in his hands. As he heard the phone hangup from the table he felt like he couldn’t move. His face started to burn as anger rose up in his chest. He looked for the nearest victim to aim this mindless rage at. He picked up a controller and chucked it as hard as he could across the room. He could feel the tightness in his chest rise and tears threaten their way into his eyes. God, he hated that he let himself do that. Why the FUCK did he do that???? Schlatt’s frustration from the week all culminated into this moment. The confusion of why y/n had ignored him for a whole week, racking his brain to remember every little thing he did and said to you at the wedding for some explanation. And all to find out it was because you like him and you think he doesn’t like you back. It made him mad. You couldn’t be further off.

In the beginning of your friendship the flirting had been for fun. He did think you were stunning, but it was all in jest, at first. It slowly grew into a real blooming friendship beyond the clicks and views he genuinely grew fond of you. Your personality, your quirks, and little traits. He would watch to boost numbers, but then he found himself tuning into your streams on his second account to just watch. He found your voice entrancing and the way you moved and danced hypnotizing.

He couldn’t believe that you thought he didn’t feel the same. The fact that you had a “big fat crush” on him was enough to make his heart jump, do a backflip, and fall out of his ass. He was so dumbfounded that you couldn’t see how crazy he is about you.

At first he grappled with his own fear and uncertainty, could he let someone in in this way? Was it worth it? You guys lived so far apart. Not to mention how public it could all get and the bombardment from the fans. He was terrified. As the days turned to a week his fear turned into intense longing and pain. Pain knowing how he had hurt you. He missed your constant communication that he had grown to rely on in a way. He just missed hearing you and seeing you. How your smile lights up rooms and your raw charisma enchants all who watch. He couldn't stop seeing you up there singing at the wedding. And how you smiled at him while laughing and dancing. The memories practically uncorked the bottle themselves. Minimal resistance was found when lifting it to his mouth. Each sip felt easier and easier.

Ted called sometime during the second week while the bottle was half drunk. Interrupting his quiet stalking of your stream.

“Schlatt.”

“What.”

“You gotta tell her man,” Ted pleads. He had been bothering Schlatt to spill his heart since the wedding. Then, even more so after this whole ordeal. It tired and aggravated him.

“No dude.”

“Jared Schlathew,” Schlatt scowled at the nickname as Ted continued, “I know we’ve known each other a while, but I’ve known Y/N longer. I’m going to have to tell her soon man I can’t keep listening to her heart break like this.”

“Ted, I sweartgod, if you tell her you won’t hear from me again. Ever,” he slurred and sipped.

“I don’t understand the big deal!”

Schlatt cuts him off, “I can’t, Ted, I fucking can’t! I already hurt her man, who’s to say I won’t just hurt her further or… I don’t know! I’m no good for her. She deserves someone better. She deserves to get over me…”

Ted sighs, “Schlatt, genuinely, you are one of the most kind hearted individuals I've had the pleasure of meeting-” Schlatt scoffs, “You have a rough exterior, yes, but I’ve seen how she melts your icy shell. I wouldn’t allow you anywhere near Y/N if I didn't think you deserved her, man. But I truly do think you are one of the greatest people I get to call a friend. So please, skip the angst, and get on a plane.”

As he hung up he turned your stream back on. Your presence was much duller than your normal effervescent self. He studied at the screen while you absentmindedly answered the chat.

“Ok, well I have another cover I’ve been working on so,” you sit up with your guitar a little better and begin to play “High and Dry” by Radiohead. Through his drunken haze, Schlatt sat and listened to you sing as if you were speaking directly to him.

“Fuck it.” Schlatt opened his phone and booked a flight.

———

[ofstarsandvibranium]

Always On the Sidelines

Fandom: Ted Lasso

Pairing: Jamie Tartt x F!Reader

Summary: You and Jamie became close after training with the same trainer to get into the football league. However, an injury prevented you from fulfilling that dream, so you resorted to cheering Jamie on from the sidelines.

A/N: this ended up being almost 3k words because i refused to split this into two parts. omfg.

You and Jamie met because of your trainer. He double booked you and him so he decided you could just train together. It worked out so well that you two requested to continue to train with one another. Your trainer found it odd, but seeing how well you complemented each other, he relented. That's how you and Jamie became best friends.

Jamie was working to get on Man City's team and you wanted to be on the Chelsea team. You'd admitted that you wanted to be like Roy Kent. You and Jamie shared the same admiration for the man.

However, you never got your chance. A torn ACL ruined your opportunity. You were heartbroken, but that never stopped you from supporting your best friend from the sidelines.

____________________________

"WHAT THE FUCK, REF?!" you shouted as a penalty was called on Jamie. He and his teammates were shouting at the referee.

Keeley, Jamie's new girlfriend, watched you in amusement, "Didn't know you were into football like that."

You snort, "I was supposed go pro. That's how Jamie and I met, we had the same trainer. But I fucked up my leg and never got a chance."

Keeley looks at you with pity, "I'm sorry."

You shrug, "It's alright. I've accepted it, but it hasn't kept me away from the game. Clearly," you gesture to yourself and the pitch.

An hour later and the game is over. Man City won, no surprise.

You and Keeley went to the locker room to see Jamie. As soon as he saw you two, he came rushing over.

"There she is!" you prepared yourself to be tackled by Jamie like usual, but instead, he goes straight to Keeley. Of course. She's his girlfriend. Not you. Never you.

You knew you had feelings for Jamie. You had for a long time, but you never acted on them because, well, he just deserves so much better than you, a failed pro footballer. Keeley, she's much more suited for him. They make a great couple and despite wishing to be in Keeley's shoes, you don't hate her. She's so amazing and didn't see you as a threat when Jamie introduced you to her.

After spinning Keeley around, Jamie sets her down and presses a hungry kiss to her lips. You look away awkwardly.

When he pulls away, he smiles at you, "You owe me twenty quid."

You scoff, "Oh fuck off! As if you need more money!"

"We made a bet and I won!"

Keeley looks at the both of you confused, "A bet?"

You sigh, pulling out your wallet and placing the money in Jamie's outstretched hand, "We always make a bet to see how many points ahead Man City would win. I said four and Jams said two."

"And we, indeed, win by two. So thank you very much," he kisses the bills in his hand, "We're going for drinks. You comin'?" he asks as he wraps his arm around Keeley's waist.

You shake your head, "Nah."

Keeley pouts, "What? No! You should come!"

Jamie looks at you with concern, "Your leg actin' up again?" He asks that whenever you feel off. Sometimes it does start to hurt and you don't feel like being out for a long time.

"No, it's fine. Just a bit tired." He looks at you unconvinced and you roll your eyes, "Jams, seriously, I'm fine. Go have fun with the boy and," you gesture to Keeley, "makeout with your hot girlfriend."

"Yeah, alright. I'm checking up on you later though."

You roll your eyes again. He's always acted like your protector ever since your injury. It was sweet at first, but it's gotten annoying over time.

"Sure. Whatever," you hold your fist out, "Good game, Jams. Talk to you whenever." He bumps your fist and then you hug Keeley, "Have a good night. Make sure he doesn't get absolutely plastered."

"I'll try my best, babes!" she kisses your cheek and waves as you walk away.

________________________

You always felt left behind. After your injury, you watched Jamie and the rest of your friends continue on with their dreams. You were left to alternatives. Jamie continued on to greatness, still in his relationship with Keeley, and slowly leaving you behind.

You'd call and text, all were left unanswered. He stopped leaving tickets for you at the box office for his games. You didn't know what happened or what you did, but you were absolutely heartbroken.

You still watched his matches from the comfort of your home, still supporting him when he was lent to AFC Richmond. Even though he ghosted you, you still supported and cared for him.

Months later, you run into Keeley at a club, a place you usually wouldn't be at, but some coworkers dragged you out with them.

"Y/N!" Keeley squealed, running over and jugging you tight.

"Keeley! Hey! What're you doing here?"

"Just out with some friends! How've you been?!"

"What?" you couldn't hear her over the club's loud music.

"HOW'VE YOU BEEN?!"

You shake your head and slip your hand into hers, pulling her towards the back door.

You step out into the cool air, the door shutting behind you both, but the bass of the music still heard.

"Sorry, I really couldn't hear a thing."

Keeley shrugs, "It's fine," she pats your arm, "How've you been? I asked Jamie about you but he'd brush me off. Did you guys have a fight or something?"

You snort, "I wish. No, he just...ghosted me."

"He what?!"

"Yeah. I tried to get in contact with him, but nothing."

"That prick!"

You shake your head, "It's fi-"

"No, it's not! You were his best friend and you supported him through everything and he just drops you with no explanation!"

"This," you wave around her, "doesn't have to do with you and Jamie breaking up, does it?" Keeley looks at you in surprise and you shrug, "I still like to keep up on what he's doing, despite him ghosting me."

"You don't deserve that."

"And I'm sure whatever Jamie did, you didn't deserve it either, Keeley." You're surprised when she pulls you into a hug, but you just let it happen. She's always been very affectionate.

______________________

You suppose that the falling out with Jamie was a blessing in disguise. You may have lost your best friend, but you found a new one in Keeley. She made sure neither of you wallowed in sadness or self-pity. She took you out to fancy restaurants, took you on shopping sprees, you felt spoiled by her despite you objecting every time she offered to buy you something.

You felt like you came to know her pretty well, which meant when she asked you out for coffee, you could tell something was wrong.

"Whatever is going on, Keels, just tell me."

"I just don't want you to hate me."

"Why would I hate you? You're very unhate-able. Even when you were dating Jamie, I couldn't hate you!" Yes, you told her of your feelings towards Jamie. You didn't feel guilty about them anymore since they were no longer together. You admitted that you tried to not like her since she ultimately was in the position that you dreamt of being in, but she was always so nice and welcoming and understanding.

"I'm doing the PR for Richmond now!" she blurts out.

"Um, okay? Congrats and all, but why is this bad?"

"Because I'll be working around Jamie and you hate Jamie."

"Keels, I told you, I don't hate him. I was angry with him at first, yes, but I don't hate him. I don't think I ever cou-"

"Y/N? Keeley?"

You look to see Jamie standing there looking a little dumbfounded. Keeley nervously stands up, "Hey, Jamie? How's it going?"

"Nothin' much," he looks between you and her, "You're friends now?"

"We've always been kind of friends, but, uh, we've gotten a lot closer lately," Keeley replies with a polite smile.

"That's-That's good. Uh-"

"Keels, I think I'm gonna-"

"No!"

"Don't!"

Jamie and Keeley both exclaim in unison making you and everyone in the small cafe freeze for a second.

Jamie steps forward, "Actually, can we talk?"

"Sure," you follow Jamie to sit at a table outside the cafe.

Jamie's twiddling his fingers avoiding your eyes, "So...how are you?"

"I'm alright. You?"

"Could be better, honestly."

"Oh."

It's weird. You never once felt awkward in Jamie's presence, at least when it was the two of you. Now it's like you're strangers, like those years of friendship didn't happen. You never thought you'd end up here like this.

"Listen," Jamie runs his hand through his now blonde hair, "I'm sorry for ghostin' ya. It wasn't right, especially when you did nothin' wrong."

"Then what happened, Jamie? If I didn't do anything wrong, what made you drop me out of nowhere?"

He sighs, "Me dad. He got into me head and said a bunch of bullshit like I shouldn't be hanging around you anymore. That your bad luck would rub off on me. Said me getting transferred to Richmond was your fault because of your bad luck."

You scoff, leaning back in your seat and crossing your arms over your chest. You never liked James Tartt Sr. From what Jamie told you, he was always an ass, but, for some reason, he still listened to him.

"I know it's not true. It's never been true. You've never been bad luck. But...the old man has always had ways of getting in me head and I just-"

"Ghosted me."

"It was wrong. Fucked up. And Keeley...she asked about you and I'd brush her off. You didn't deserve that."

"No, Jamie, I didn't, especially since I was always there for you. I was always supporting you. Even when you stopped answering my calls and leaving me tickets, I still watched your matches."

"Why?"

Because I love you. "Because you're my best friend."

"I was a prick, but-but I've been doing much better. Punched my dad in the face too."

"Good. He deserves it."

He nods, "So...we good?"

"I suppose. But if you ever do this to me again, Jamie. I'm kicking you so hard in the balls that you'll never procreate."

Jamie winces, "Yeah, alright. I hear ya."

You smirk, and hold your fist out. He bumps it with his and you two share a smile.

_________________

Things were back to how they used to be. You and Jamie texted each other every day, grabbed lunch or dinner when you could, you had movie nights, and you were at the games again to cheer Jamie on.

You cackle when Jamie hands you a kit like his, "What's this for?"

"You still collect every version of my kits, yeah?"

"Yeah. I'll wear this now," you pull it over your long sleeve and do a twirl, "How do I look?"

"Fucking fit," he murmurs looking you up and down. He then clears his throat, "Um, I, gotta go. Coach does this meaningful speech before each game."

"Yeah okay. See you after then. Good luck, Jams!" you hold your fist out and he bumps it.

You watch as he walks to the locker room and you're startled when Keeley scurries over to you, "Oh. My. God! He's into you, babes!"

You look at her confused, "What? No, he isn't."

"He called you fit and he was totally checking you out! He had mad heart eyes seeing you in his kit!"

You snort and roll your eyes, "You're seeing things, Keels."

"Hell yeah, I'm seeing things! I'm seeing that Jamie Tartt is into you!" she pokes your side and then pouts, "Why aren't you happy? I thought you'd be happy about this! Isn't this what you wanted?"

"I'll be happy if he ever tells me he has feelings for me."

"When he tells you he has feelings for you. Because he does. I saw it with my own eyes." You shake your head and she huffs, "Fine, be in denial. But you owe me twenty quid when he confesses!"

"Sure, Keels."

_________________________

"Go! GO! That's it! YEEEESSS!!!" you, Keeley, Rebecca, and everyone around is hollering and jumping for joy when Jamie scores the game ends with Richmond winning.

After the game, Jamie runs up to you, twirling you around, "There she is!"

You laugh as you hold onto him, "You did great, Jams!"

"Our luck is turning around and I think I have you to thank for that."

"What? Me?"

"Yeah. Ever since you've been coming to our matches, we've been doing better than ever."

"Highly doubt that's because of me. Pretty sure it's because you and the team have worked hard to get here."

"Nah. Pretty sure it's all you," he gives you a flirtatious smirk that you've never seen directed at you before. At Keeley and other women, yeah, but never you.

"O-Oh, well, uh, you're welcome, I guess?"

"I'm gonna shower and change real quick. You're coming with me and the lads for dinner and drinks!"

"I am?"

"Yeah. You're my plus one and before you ask, Keeley is coming too."

You look at Keeley for confirmation, "Yup! I'm Roy's plus one." Because now her and Roy are a thing and you never thought they would work well together but they do and they're so cute, you could vomit.

"I should probably change then, right?" you look down at your Jamie replica kit he gave you before last week's game, paired with jeans, and coat.

Jamie shakes his head, "Nah. You look gorgeous. I'll be out in a bit!" he holds his fist out and you awkwardly bump it.

"Yeah. See you in a bit."

Keeley is bouncing in her stilettos, "Well?!"

"That means nothing. I'm going as his friend."

Keeley groans, "You're impossible!" she shakes you by the shoulders.

_____________________

Sam closed down his restaurant to the public so he can host the team and staff of AFC Richmond. The food was amazing, you loved that he shared part of his culture with everyone. After dinner, drinks were flowing and you chatted with Jamie's teammates getting to know them better.

After a while, you felt your leg starting to feel sore and you began to put your weight onto your other leg. You rode here with Jamie, you didn't want to cut his night short.

"Here," Jamie says, pulling you down onto his lap. He props your leg onto another chair and starts massaging it, all the while keeping his conversation going with Colin.

You look to Keeley, who's doing a little happy dance while Roy sips his beer and continues to glare at everyone.

"Do you wanna go home?" Jamie whispers in your ear while still massage your leg.

The intimacy catches you off guard as you stammer out, "N-No. I don't want to cut your celebration short."

"It's fine. I just don't want you in pain or nothing. I'll be seeing them tomorrow anyway." You shrug, not really sure what you should say.

"Alright, up," Jamie taps your hip and helps you up. He stands and announces his departure, "Alright, lads. I'll see you all tomorrow!"

"What? You're leaving now?" Richard asks in disbelief.

"I've had enough of ya for one day, besides, wanna spend some time with me girl," he points to you and the boys all give hoots and cheers.

"Use protection!" Keeley hollers jokingly, causing you to look at her horrified and Jamie just laughs her off.

Outside of the restaurant, Jamie hangs his jacket over your shoulders and walks beside you, hands in his pockets.

When you approach his car, he opens the passenger's side for you. Before getting in you ask, "Why did you call me that?"

"Call you what?"

"Your girl."

He shrugs, "You've always been my girl."

"Jamie-"

"I know it's fucking cliche or whatever, but it's true. I was just too dumb and blind to not see it.

"I know you're probably thinking I'm bullshitting you, but I promise I'm not. You-You don't understand how much happier I've been since having you back in me life. I feel whole and on the top of the world. When I scored the winning point today and I saw you jumping and screaming my name, I just thought 'Fuck. I love her so much'. And the thought of losing you again...it terrifies me to me core."

"I want to believe you, Jamie, but...I dunno."

"Tell me what's on your mind," he slips his hands into yours.

You look down at your intertwined hands and you laugh in disbelief, "I've always been on the sidelines when it came to you. Felt like you never truly saw me despite me being at your side for so long. I've-I've always dreamt of hearing you say that you have feelings for me and now you're doing it and I'm-I'm scared that you'll eventually push me to the side again."

Jamie's shaking his head fervently and he gently cups your face, "No. No, I'm never doing that again. I see you, Y/N. I do. I see your beautiful smile, the crinkle your nose makes when you see something you don't like. I hear the snort you give when I say something stupid. I see how fucking fit you look in me kits." You giggle and Jamie is beaming, "I see you and I love you, Y/N. I'm not pushing you to the side anymore. But I know I can be a lot, so we can go things your pace. Your way, your rules, whatever. I'm here for the ride."

"Okay," you reply meekly, still in disbelief that this was happening.

You watch as he glances down at your lips and begins to lean in but then freezes when you both hear, "YOU OWE ME TWENTY QUID!"

You burst out laughing, looking over your shoulder and giving Keeley the finger.