#because agoraphobia be silly like that

[twentysidednerd]

while hawaiian shirts still give me massive amounts of gender euphoria, i fear cargo pants are slowly creeping up towards that number one spot because i just bought my first pair today and this is legitimately the sexiest i‘ve felt in so long

i haven’t combined them with the hawaiian shirts yet but when i do, it’s all over for you fuckers /lhj

[loullipopx]

[bunny-jpeg]

emotional support boyfriend

oscar piastri

cw: smut, agoraphobia, oscar is a sweet boyfriend, plot, fluff, gentle sex, praise kink, slight angst, depictions of violence, trauma

this bunny runs on comments & reblogs! feed the rabbit!

you swallowed, "this is silly. i don't need an emotional support boyfriend, my love." oscar was seated beside you at the stairs as he got his sneakers on.

"not a big deal, i'd be sitting on the couch otherwise."

oscar had been really good after the... incident you witnessed only four months prior. you wished that it had happened at a location further away from home, but it was rather only a few blocks from your flat. you had been avoiding it as much as possible, but it was hard. and it still left you shaken.

when you got up from the steps and waited for oscar to do the same you watched him stand up then zip your sweater up to your chin before he kissed you on the lips.

it was simply going to the store, getting a few items for dinner then walking home. ever since the incident, you had taken alternate routes that doubled your time getting there and back, or having oscar do it if he was home. you wanted to avoid the intersection as much as possible because the anxiety you felt was a lot.

it was easier to just avoid it, but your therapist thought that maybe it would be good to try and approach the anxiety more head on. and while you were comfortable with doing it alone. oscar wanted to be there just in case.

the walk started slow, you held onto oscar's hand as the two of you walked down the main road. oscar kept close to you, he was a grounding presence.

oscar chatted with you and you smiled. you held onto him a little tighter when a motorcycle went by. and he simply leaned in to kiss you, continuing talking. you passed by the bus stop without much fanfare, at least your brain felt a little quieter. the anxiety of the event didn't wash over you into a panic.

"here. for a job well done." he said as he slipped a bar of your favourtie chocolate into the basket.

you giggled, "i don't need treats like a dog."

oscar kissed your cheek, "not like that. i'm proud of you." and while it all felt a little silly, you appreciated it. to know that whatever progress you make about your intense anxiety, you weren't going to do it alone.

when you got home, you felt better than other times you were in the area. you didn't feel the throb of dread in the pit of your soul and the anxiety rush up into your chest. while a little shaky when you walked by the bus stop, you managed to pass by it not once, but twice. oscar there the entire time to support you.

"you did so well."

you swallowed, "it was just a walk." you made a face when he kissed along the bridge of your nose, "nothing too serious. wasn't like i had to tend to another victim." the words felt weird on your tongue.

four months ago while walking back home from work, you saw a belligerent drunk man attack another man at a nearby bus stop. the man was hit and bleeding and you tried to tend to the gash in his head while another man who was walking the opposite direction of you tried to talk the drunk man down. the police were called and you were interviewed while oscar heard the sirens and came down the street. you weren't home and he was worried. you were told you did good by everyone and that he would be "perfectly fine". but you were left rattled and going near that intersection made your blood run cold.

oscar kissed your lips, "no need for that, love." he kissed your cheek with his hands on your face lovingly, "you did so good. your therapist will love hearing about this. i'm proud."

you felt something flutter in your chest and you rested up against your boyfriend. you know he worried, he kept his phone on silent while working unless it was a message from you. just in case.

it wasn't till after dinner that you got more cuddly with your boyfriend. the food felt filling and your brain didn't feel rattled. it was a success and you wanted to keep riding that high. and that left you two in your shared bedroom with oscar's lips on you.

his hands up your shirt, he asked, "is this okay?"

you nodded, "perfect. it's amazing. yes, oscar, yes." you then giggled before you put him in for a hot kiss and let his hands explore your body. you felt warm all over as he felt you up. he was a gentle lover, he always had been. you didn't believe there was a bad bone in his body, except maybe in the heat of competition.

but he'd never lay a hand on you unless he had your consent. your enthusiastic consent. sex was meant to be fun so to hear you giggle as he got your shirt off excited him.

"you did amazing today, my love.' he said as he got into your space once more. your chest up against his as he got you onto the bed. soon you were both undressed and you laid there out on the bed under your lovely boyfriend.

his hands careful on your hips as he rubbed up against you. you moaned softly as you could feel his hard cock up against you. your heart hammered in your chest, but not in a way that scared you. but rather you felt excited all over.

you looked up at him and he got between your legs, he rested on his heels and his cock stood at full attention. before he could say anything you spoke, "i want this, oscar. please. i don't want anyone else."

he broke into a smile and said, "well, i can't say no to that."

you shifted your body a little to give him more access to your soft skin. he ran his fingers across you and you shuddered a little bit before he took a hold on his cock to guide it inside you pretty cunt. he shuddered when he felt your wetness across his length.

he started to move slowly, and his words poured like a fountain. and it made you feel hot all over you. he leaned forward and pressed his chest to you.

"you look so good." he said, "i love you."

you felt a little heat in your cheeks as you moved against him. your nails held onto his shoulders as the two of your moved together. you whined, "you don't need to praise me, oscar."

he chuckled and kissed your jaw, "yes i do. i want to praise you." he held onto your hips and moved a little faster. he loved the feeling of you, he also loved spending time with you. being with you was a treat for him and it made him feel hot all over.

the kisses continued, loud and wet in your shared bedroom. he moved against you. his cock felt snug in your pretty cunt, like a perfect fit for the both of you.

"you look beautiful." you giggled as you scratched across his shoulders. you could feel the shudder of want through your body.

he laughed, "no, no. you're beautiful. you're the beautiful one." he kissed the corner of your mouth, "i'm just your boyfriend. you're the real star." he cupped your breasts between his hands for a moment as he moved against him.

you blushed more, "you flirt." you tightened your legs around his waist as he moved against him. the kisses continued as he moved against you.

"only for you." he blushed. you covered your face but oscar quickly took them away and said, "i want to see you." he smiled down at you.

"okay. okay." you giggled.

you would've thought all about the romantic moments with oscar. but the pleasure coursed through your body even heavier as he laid more kisses onto you. his hands played with your chest as he moved against you. and you moved back against him. it was a hot feeling between the two of you, like a wire that connected you.

your cheeks stained with heat as the two of you really rutted against one another. your lips felt tender from all the kisses. oscar gazed at you with love and even cupped your face for a moment. it felt nice to feel his big hands across your face.

oscar would always make sure you were okay. always.

you held onto him and placed wet kisses onto the side of his neck. when you held on tightly, you climaxed. your back arched a little to be closer to him as the pleasure clawed through your body. your eyes squeezed shut a little bit. and your heart pounded in your chest.

"i love you." you said.

"i love you too."

he came soon after and held onto the covers on either side of you, he didn't want to bruise you in his hard grasp. you took him by the face and messily kissed him. which made the driver melt a little at the feeling. he groaned into the kiss as he rocked against you a little more, which made your toes curl.

when he eventually stopped, he broke the kiss and looked at your blissed out. oh, you looked gorgeous. he pulled out of you and got down on the bed beside you. he got a strong arm over you and looked at you. he peppered your forehead and cheeks with kissed. a silent praise as you both tried to come back to earth.

"you did so good." he said when he was able to find the words. he also pulled you up against his bare chest.

you wrapped an arm around him and buried your face into his neck. you felt protected and loved. you were cared for in ways that you couldn't find the words for. it was comforting feeling that made you believe that any progress could be made about all the mental aches and pains.

he kissed you on the lips once more and said, "i love you." <3

[lovebugism]

steve request for adjusting back to normality with him after the upside down ends? however much u wanna write 🤭🤍🤍 ur writing is gorgeous btw

ty angel! hope you like it!! — steve helps his agoraphobic gf leave the house for the first time since the world ended (established relationship, hurt/comfort, cw for mentions of agoraphobia | 1.5k)

bug's summer fic fest (⁠ꈍ⁠ᴗ⁠ꈍ⁠)

You sit on the stairwell and tie your shoes, trying desperately to ignore the trembling of your anxious fingers. The thin laces threaten to slip from your tremoring hands as you knot one loop into the other. You couldn’t hide from your worry if you tried.

Steve’s heavy footsteps sound behind you in a steady, even rhythm as he walks down the stairs. You can hear the dull clapping of the boy patting his pockets to ensure his keys and wallet haven’t yet fallen from them. You know he’ll do exactly that another ten times before you step foot out of the house. He’s just as anxious as you are these days.

“Almost ready?” he says, huffing, though a smile is evident in his voice.

You nod to yourself and make careful work of fastening the laces. “Mhm,” you hum.

“Did you make sure to pack those Ants on a Log things? ‘Cause Dustin’ll kill me if we don’t bring ‘em,” Steve frets, for the second or third time that morning. He stills on the step just behind you and crosses a pair of golden arms over his chest. “Because, you know, he’s the only kid in America who actually likes celery.”

You tilt your chin to look up at him, smiling despite the fear pinching your chest. “Everything’s in the basket, Stevie.”

“Including the—”

“Yes, including the drinks. And the sandwiches. It’s all in the fridge,” you finish for him. “And the blanket’s in the car, so… Everything’s ready.”

Steve’s chest deflates with a distant sigh of relief. He’s been so used to doing everything on his own — carrying the load of that burden entirely by himself — that he forgot what it meant to have someone else to lean on.

“God, I’m so in love with you,” he murmurs fondly, mostly to himself, as he bends at the waist to kiss your hair. The plush of his lips brush your temple in a warm touch you lean instinctively into. 

With a wide hand on your shoulder, Steve feels for the first time how tense you are. All rigid, muscles taut, like cradling a rock in his palm. You’ve kept a brave face for him all day, but there’s only so much hiding you can do.

“You’re still okay with this?” he wonders aloud as he stands to full height again. 

His scruffy face is all twisted with concern, but you’re not looking at him to see it. You tie your right sneaker with a pair of graceless hands, where you seem to hold most of your anxiety, and scoff at the silly question. “Am I okay with the… picnic?” you echo.

“Yeah,” Steve shrugs, lips jutted, as he walks past you down the steps. He turns and leans against the railing, trying hard to be casual. “‘Cause, you know, if you weren’t, we could just have it in the backyard or something. Make all the little shits come here.”

It takes you a moment too long to catch his meaning.

Sometimes you forget that you haven’t left the house all year. You’ve fallen into such a routine here, at Steve’s house (which you’ve come to see as your own), that you’ve forgotten there’s a whole world outside of it. A whole world you shut yourself out of after it nearly ended — after it chewed you up and spat you out again.

You tell yourself that you survived. You tell yourself that you lived in spite of the unfavorable odds. But sometimes, when you feel like shards of flesh and bones instead of a real-life human being, you wonder if you’re alive at all.

“I’m good, Steve,” you assure despite the waver in your voice. Your hands fumble with the laces, and you have to start all over again. “It’s just the park, babe. I can make it to the park.”

Steve nods in response, raking an anxious hand through his hair. He swallows down any attempts to remind you that you’ve barely made it out of the garage, let alone to the park.

“Besides, I’m pretty sure it’s a crime to be this pale in the middle of July, anyway,” you joke with a forced laugh. 

The only time you really see the sun is when you’re sitting out on the patio — sipping at your morning coffee or watching Steve languish in the pool. You hardly last more than an hour, though, before a plane rumbles overhead or a car engine thunders too loudly. That’s all it takes for everything to come rushing back to you. The monsters, the soldiers, the blood. Then you lock yourself away all over again.

You hope this time is different.

Steve nods again, always hopeful, if only for your sake.

“Okay. Just… Just making sure, you know?” he trails off, then scrunches his nose. “Should we have a codeword, anyway? Like, for when the kids annoy the shit outta me, and I wanna get the hell outta there?”

You squint to yourself, pretending to ponder the question, as you rise from the stairs. You take a few steps downward until you’re standing just ahead of Steve — a few inches taller than him now. 

“How about… Get me the hell outta here?” you offer with a mischievous glint in your eyes.

A wide, pink grin blossoms on his mouth. “That’s perfect, actually,” Steve muses sarcastically, then meets you halfway when you lean down to kiss him. 

It’s a chaste and very innocuous peck that tastes faintly of Steve’s mouthwash and the peanut butter you licked from the spoon after making Dustin’s Ants on a Log. 

Despite its fleeting nature, you hang onto the simple kiss your entire way through the front door.

The first step out of the house is the hardest. 

You struggle to feel the ground beneath your feet as your mind threatens to wander. Thoughts of death plague your mind despite your attempts to push them away — roaring demogorgons, exploding guns, screaming teenagers. You have to fight the urge to cover your ears when a helicopter whizzes overhead, hidden somewhere in the clouds but sounding much closer than that.  

Steve holds your hand the entire way. “Almost there,” you hear him mumbling beneath the heartbeat woosh, woosh, wooshing in your ears. Your eyes squeeze shut. He leads you to the car and squeezes your hand. “You’re doing amazin’, babe. Just a couple more steps.”

You’re at the car in five seconds flat, though it had felt like five minutes at the time — and took approximately five years off your life. You feel eons better when you’re tucked into the passenger seat of Steve’s 733i. You feel more grounded there — with the tires against the asphalt, and Steve’s hand on your thigh, and the radio cranked all the way up.

You’re still a shaking mess when you get to the park, but the kids are a good enough distraction. 

You opt to busy your anxious hands with the picnic — handing out food, protecting drinks, and ensuring the emptying basket doesn’t blow away. You sit in the shade in the center of Steve’s quilt as leaves rustle in the warm breeze, allowing bits of summer sun to peek through and glitter on your skin. 

You keep a watchful eye on the kids around you as they scatter mindlessly about, making sure no one ventures far enough where you can’t see them. Steve yells at them for it so you don’t have to — shouts at Max and El for getting too close to the tree line while he tosses a ball to Lucas. 

He’s slowly mastering the art of throwing with his left hand. He hasn’t been able to lift his right one over his head since Starcourt. There’s a persistent ache in his shoulder he hasn’t been able to get rid of.

He walks over to you when the distance grows too much to bear, twisting his arm with a screwed-up face as he tries to find the root of the pain. “Whaddaya got for me, sweet thing?” he asks with a lopsided smile.

You reach into the basket beside you and pull out the last sandwich of the bunch, which you kept aside especially for him, wrapped neatly in plastic.

You hiss playfully through your teeth, then squint faux apologetically up at him. “All that’s left is tomato-avocado…” you joke, feigning horror.

Steve’s face twists. “Ugh. Seriously?” he huffs in disappointment.

“No,” you hum in response, smiling as you pass him his favorite sandwich. “Here you go.”

It’s a simple turkey, ham, and bacon number with all the fixings, but he particularly likes how you make it. (You argue that it can’t taste any better than a diner-made sandwich, but Steve always insists otherwise.) 

Your fingers brush when it takes it from you. Steve finds it difficult not to melt for you entirely, and not just because of the sweltering summer heat. 

He’s spent half of his life believing that no one ever gave him a passing thought — or that, at the very least, he was only ever an afterthought. But you remind him every day that he’s so much more than the nothing he often sees himself as. You remind him, through silly picnics and sandwiches made with love, what it means to be truly cared for.

“I love you,” Steve hums quietly, adoration melting in his honey eyes. “You know that?”

You nod once, hiding a smile as you squint one eye from the beaming sun. “I know.”

[ur-dad-satan]

WHB and OM character "comparison"

This means fuck all. I like all of these characters, I'm just making some silly little laughs. I also don't know the personalities of most of the WHB kings, so this is based on pure vibes. <3

Lucifer:

These two would NOT associate. WHB Luci would think he's too good to talk to OM Luci and OM Luci would feel like WHB Luci is too pretentious. However, if you give them alcohol, they'll trauma bond and become best friends <3

Mammon:

OM Mammon would be SO fucking jealous of WHB Mammon for so many reasons. WHB Mammon literally has gold dripping from his feet and has so much money he doesn't know that gold is expensive, meanwhile OM Mam has as much debt and WHB Mam has money. OM Mam would have a fucking stroke in Tartos also.

Leviathan:

OM Levi would be so intimidated by this man it's ridiculous, and WHB Levi would probably be intimidated by OM Levi too, but in a much less obvious way. If they actually got to know each other, I feel like they'd bond over their introverted ways because come on; BOTH of these mother fuckers have agoraphobia, not just WHB Levi. I also like that their horns are pretty similar.

Satan:

These two would HATE each other. They would definitely respect each other, but they would NOT like each other. I don't know why, but that's just my feeling. They'd have like a deep conversation or something and it would be a genuinely decent time, but if either of them are asked if they actually like each other, both OM Satan and WHB Satan would say "no" all chill and matter-of-factly.

Asmodeus:

I don't really know how WHB Asmo feels about himself, but OM Asmo would be in (metaphorical) heaven. What do you mean there's another version of him?! Sure, they don't look alike, but I feel like they'd both be extremely intrigued as to what they could get into... Or they'd geek out over fashion and hot celebrities.

Beelzebub:

I think OM Beel would want to be friends with WHB Beel, but be a little nervous to ask to be friends with him. WHB Beel would just walk up to him and be like "We're friends now. Do you want to hang out?" and they'd hang out! Eventually WHB Beel would leave but they'd stay pen pals. OM Beel would also even go out of his way to visit WHB Beel wherever he is.

Belphegor:

OM Belphie and WHB Belphie would have a mutual respect for each other and would bond over small things they really care about. I feel like OM Belphie would also think WHB Belphie's piercings are cool and think of getting one to bother OM Lucifer. I think WHB Belphie would be interested in OM Beel and Belphie's whole twin thing too.

I only know like half these MFs so leave me be if I'm completely off the mark with their personalities

[stayevildarling]

May I please request Agatha x reader where reader has such bad anxiety that they often don't leave the house because of it. Reader thinks Agatha deserves someone better, but she comforts reader?

Agatha Harkness x Reader- Tangled in fear, wrapped in magic

A/N: Thank you so much for this request. I‘m a whore for mental health fics like these so. Also this is my first time writing Agatha so please be kind to me😅🫶🏼

tags/tw: established relationship, female reader, mention of anxiety, mention of depression, mention of panic attacks, mention of agoraphobia

word count: 3.5k

taglist:

@lunaticwhittaker , @billiebeanhoward , @lanawinters-ily , @kenzbro , @minaslittleone , @httpfiftyshadesofgay @whitelotus00 , @ninaahelvar , @paulsonsratched , @vintagepaulson , @isle-of-earle , @grilledcheeseandguavajelly , @lucyintheskywithxanax , @fanfics4world , @mymiraclewitch , @hazard-to-myself , @awritersometimes , @wastdstime , @p1pecleanerwitheyes , @queen2234 , @ihartnat , @lifebyinez , @ahsatanizgay , @blu3dimples , @stepintomyworld

When the days began blurring together you knew it was back. The endless nights, days filled with fear and your mind clouded with thoughts. The sadness and fear followed you like a cloud of rain, droplets running down your brain, leaving an emptiness that you couldn‘t shake or fight on your own. It had been bad before, years ago when it all began one afternoon, your chest tightening, your hands and knees shaky and the ability to breathe suddenly leaving you.

Back then it took months of therapy and medication to get over this, to work through the anxiety and depression that followed afterwards, leaving you drained and exhausted. And you had been happy since, enjoying your life and the things you adored, even meeting your perfect and beautiful girlfriend in the process, having been beside her for months, the two of you completing each other perfectly. The two of you had met when you followed your passions and despite the very obvious attraction, the brunette wrapping you around her finger perfectly and capturing your heart.

Life with Aggy was perfect, she spoiled you, reading every wish from your lips, showing you sides to yourself that you had never explored before. Making your body and soul feel cared for and nurtured at all times. Nothing was ever too much for the witch, whether it was spoiling you, taking you on dates or cracking silly jokes to make you laugh. And in return you would give her your world, trusting the older woman with your entire life, letting her guide you in every way. It all started a few weeks ago when she had taken you to lunch on a weekend, excited to try a new place with you that had been hyped for the longest time. You sat opposite each other, her hands always lingering somewhere on you, the two of you chatting and catching up from each other‘s week when it happened.

Your body froze, the entire restaurant spinning for a moment and your head telling you „you are going to pass out“. And that triggered it all, the shaking of your hands, your heart always beating out of your chest and the fear following you everywhere. You never told Agatha, knowing she was way too busy with her life and magic, knowing she had other things to worry about and not wanting to burden her with something this ridiculous. Things turned worse when fear took over your entire being, first the driving- a panic attack after another and making the whole thing impossible. Then simple things like leaving the house or going for a walk and then even moving inside your own shared home with Agatha felt impossible. The fear of going to the bathroom, taking a shower or even to leave the safety of bed, at this point your only safe space, and go to the living room or kitchen.

Fear lingered and followed you everywhere and despite remembering your tools, remembering that this had happened before and passed eventually, you couldn‘t do this again, knowing the mountain of work that was about to follow to work through this and stop the fear. Your health anxiety began coming back, scared to eat certain foods and worried about food poisoning, scared when you felt a small headache or your tummy was upset for a day. Everything scared you, breathing, talking and existing and when that realization hit you, you knew you were lost in the darkness again. It began with not eating much, too scared to even enter the kitchen, forcing yourself to eat with Agatha in the evenings or on the weekends but never feeling truly calm. Accepting Aggys offers about joined baths gladly as the thought of doing it alone scared you.

Of course your girlfriend had noticed, the change of seasons also brought her a different version of you, one that she hadn‘t met before. The rain seems to patter against the windows of your shared apartment for days on end, matching your inner turmoil. She noticed how you were suddenly more quiet, the smile never quite reaching your eyes anymore, often noticing your legs bouncing up and down during meals, the fidgeting which she had never noticed before. And of coure she noticed the tossing and turning at night, having tried countless times to soothe you back to sleep but without success. She had tried a few times to talk to you, offer her support but you couldn‘t confide in her, feeling like a burden.

Your girlfriend noticed how you didn‘t leave the house anymore. You didn‘t work, Agatha prefering to do that part and giving you the freedom you deserved. But you used to go out, to the libraries, your favorite flower shops and cafes, walks by the lake. You would do the grocery shopping mostly, making sure there is a warm meal waiting for her when she would return home. But lately there had been a lot of takeout meals, the fridge empty and when she mentioned it, you ended up ordering groceries, her finding the receipt a few days later. But she couldn‘t connect the pieces yet, not understanding the depths of your pain and fear, assuming at first that maybe you had been tired, possibly a little depressed.

Agatha didn‘t know about the darkness that eloped you, the reoccurring and daily fear, as soon as you would open your eyes and never ending through the silence of the night. It had gotten that bad that you wanted it all to stop, feeling like you aren‘t in control of your body or mind, at times feeling like you are going crazy and this never ending cycle of doom would follow you for all eternity. If it wasn‘t for the love you feel for her, you would have stopped it already, letting go off everything but even the thought of leaving her like that, left a guilt that hurt way worse than what you had been fighting in silence for weeks now. You wanted to explain so badly, wanting her to hold you but the insecurities and nasty thoughts kept you from doing so.

Today had been another slow day spent at home, you sit on the couch again, legs tucked beneath you as you half- heartedly flip through the pages of a book. It wasn‘t that you aren‘t interested in the story, you just couldn‘t focus. The soft patting of rain against the window feels way too loud, your breathing uneaven and your thoughts so loud they crash over you like waves. Every sound from the outside world, an occasional car zooming past, the faint barking of a dog or sirens, another reminder of the scary world outside that was slowly beginning to slip away from you.

Your mind travels to the only bright spot in your life, the woman filling your heart with joy rather than fear and emptiness. But even she had become a source of guilt, you had been avoiding her without ever meaning to, slowly withdrawing from her too, making excuses to stay home when she invited you out, retreating into yourself when she tried to have a conversation with you. She deserved better. Your chest tightens at the thought, Agatha with her charm and wit, her strength and confidence, her powers. What could she possibly still see in you? When the world out there was filled with way more interesting people, witches, people with their lifes together rather than being scared to go out their own front door. She was wasting her time with you, all the effort that she was giving you and not getting an ounce what she deserved in return. You had hoped lately that she would just walk away, take the last piece of will and guilt away and giving you the permission to give into the darkness.

When the front door to your apartment opens softly, your thoughts stop for a moment as you instinctively pull the blanket a little closer to your shivering form. She doesn‘t announce herself, doesn‘t make a show of her return the way she usually would. She never would when you are like this, not wanting to overwhelm you further. Instead , she moves quietly through the room, setting down her bag and slipping off her jacket before glancing at you. „Hi darling“ she greets you softly with a warm smile, trying to keep her concern hidden.

You force a small smile, barely glancing up from your book „Hey“. She pauses as she thinks back to the times you would practically jump into her arms, calling and messaging her on her way home out of excitement and missing her and despite knowing you are struggling with something, it fills her heart with sadness. She pauses, her eyes lingering on you for a moment longer before moving towards the kitchen. „I picked us up something for dinner“ she calls over her shoulder, her tone light and casual, like she wasn‘t trying to probe too much. „Figured we could have a quiet night in“ she offers and you sigh in relief ever so quietly, relieved she isn‘t offering to go somewhere and you having to think of another pathetic excuse. „Sounds good“ is all you manage to reply.

Agatha didn‘t push you, she never did and that almost made the whole thing worse. You knew she could tell something was wrong. But yet she gave you time and space, allowing you to retreat into yourself without demanding answers. It was both a blessing and a curse, because it filled you with relief but at the same time left you alone with your thoughts that hadn‘t been kind lately. You hear her moving around in the kitchen, the clatter of plates and cutlery. Normally, you would join her, help out and crack a few jokes, asking about her day but today you just can‘t, feeling on the verge of tears since she stepped inside your shared home.

Minutes pass in silence and you try and focus on your book again, the only sounds coming from the kitchen but you can‘t, the words bluring together, the weight of your thoughts and anxiety growing heavier by the second. Agatha returns, wiping her hands on a towel as she leans against the doorway, watching you with an unreadable expression. You glance at her briefly and take in her features, the slightly curled hair, her outfit plastered in different shades of purple and suddenly your heart swells, missing her arms around you, her soft kisses all over your body and the feeling of safety. „Hows the book?“ she asks, pulling you out of your thoughts momentarily.

„It‘s fine“ you confess, hoping she wasn‘t gonna ask about the plot as you didn‘t remember a single thing from it. She doesn‘t say anything, simply watching you in that way that makes you feel like she could see right through the walls that you had been trying to build. „Do you want to talk about anything?“ she asks, breaking the silence, her voice soft, almost like she wasn‘t sure if now was the right time to ask. Your stomach instantly twists at the thought of trying to explain the mess inside your head and so you shake your head „I‘m fine“ you say quietly, though even you couldn‘t believe the words coming from your mouth.

She doesn’t push, simply nodding before she turns on her heels, offering a quiet „Alright, I‘m here though“ and leaving back to the kitchen. When she calls out for you a few minutes later for dinner, you can feel the tension building in your chest again, your head feeling fuzzy and your legs barely taking you to the table where she is patiently waiting for you. She looks at you with so much love as she begins eating, so much patience that your heart hurts, you want to tell her so badly, feeling like you owe her some answers, to let her in and show her how terrified you are but the words won‘t come, staying locked inside, trapped behind the anxiety that grips you so tightly.

The brunette watches you carefully as you push your food around with your fork, noticing how you hadn‘t taken a bite yet, her eyes search your face and you can feel the concern radiate from her, even if she was trying to hide it for your sake. „You‘re not eating sweetheart“ she say softly, her tone non-judgmental. You force a small smile, hoping it would be enough to brush off her concern. „I‘m just not that hungry“ you explain. She doesn‘t respond right away, her gaze lingering on you for a moment longer before she finally speaks, her voice quieter now. „You have been like this for a while love, haven‘t you?“ she tries, tilting her head in order to lock eyes with you.

Your heart skips a beat, your stomach twisting painfully, unsure how to answer, knowing she deserved the truth. „I‘m fine“ you repeat, though your voice begins to shake, barely able to hide the tears and the knot in your throat. Agatha sighs softly, setting her fork down and leaning forward slightly. „You don‘t have to be fine with me“ she says gently, her eyes softening. „I don‘t need you to pretend with me“. And that was it, the gentlness in her voice, the concern in her beautiful eyes, enough to cause your fork to fall onto your plate and the tears spilling down your eyes as you catch your head in your hands, the sobs wrecking through you as you can‘t hide them for a second longer.

„Oh darling“ she sigh, in an instand abandoning her food and walking over to you, kneeling in front of you before pulling your frame into her arms. Her world breaks for a moment, seeing you so sad and feeling so helpless at the same time. The usual confident and witty woman knew that not even her magic could fix this but yet she feels some relief, hoping you will finally share what has been burdening you for weeks. „It‘s okay, I‘m here“ she reassures, one hand on your knee, stroking little circles and another on your back, holding you steady and making you feel safe. She lets you cry until the last sob wrecks through your body and when your tear stained, helpless face meets hers, she offers a hand to you, guiding you to the comfort of the sofa before sitting you down and taking a seat beside you.

Agatha gives you patience, sitting beside you for the longest time, through the loudest silence, holding you and passing you the occasional tissue to wipe the tears and blow your nose. „If I knew, I would have bought a life supply of tissues“ she jokes as you go through an entire packet, causing you to giggle for a moment through the tears, the sound so unfamiliar, it takes you both by surprise. „My little lamb..“ she begins, the pet name almost causing more tears to resurface. „Can you tell me what‘s been going on in that pretty little head of yours?“ she asks softly, her hand holding onto yours tightly, another reminder she is there, patient and willing and not considering to leave, not now, not ever.

Her gentleness is enough to break through your walls and slowly every single confession, every thought and all the fear leaves you as you tell her everything that had been going on. Your past struggles with this, the trigger in the restaurant weeks ago and everything since then. And every confession is more painful than the other, Agatha fighting her own tears as she understands the depth of your pain and the intensity of your fear, wishing she would have figured this out sooner as she undeniably would have stepped in, would have handled so many things differently. „My darling girl“ she whispers before her hands hold your cheeks gently „Why didn‘t you tell me?“ she asks, her voice filled with sadness and her eyes filled with tears.

„Because.. Aggy I‘m pathetic … and you deserve so“ but she doesn‘t let you finish. „No“ she snaps, her voice more firm this time, not ever wanting to hear those words leave your lips, struggling enough with the thought of your head having told you that for so long. „Don‘t say that“ she begins, a tear rolling down her cheek. There is silence for a while as the exhaustion of your honesty washes over you and your girlfriend tries collecting her thoughts, unable to believe you had been suffering so much on your own, feeling guilty for not having been there. „But Aggy it‘s true, there is so much more out there for you and you shouldn‘t have to deal with this, you deserve so much better“ you explain, the words hitting her like a billion knifes. She chuckles lowly, a painful one before she locks eyes with you „Kitten, I don‘t even deserve you“ she sighs, knowing how lucky she had been to be loved by you, with all her flaws and her entire past.

„And none of what your head is telling you is true, you are going through a tough time but that doesn‘t mean I deserve you any less or love you any less“ she admits, her hands instinctively holding yours a little tighter, wanting you to believe her statement but the honesty in her eyes already enough to make you believe. „Sweetheart“ she begins speaking again „I don‘t need you to be anything other than who you are, your struggles, they don‘t make you less to me. They are just parts of what make you you, and I happen to love all of you“ she confesses, her finger softly booping your nose and causing you to smile.

„You have never held me back kitten, if anything, you have made me want to stay even more, because don‘t you think I see how hard you fight? even when it feels impossible?“ Her voice drops a little lower, filled with honesty „I don‘t need you to be perfect, you could never be a burden to me, not in the slightest. I choose you every day, anxiety and all“ the softness in her voice makes you tear up again and this time you lean into her, practically holding on for dear life as she strokes your hair and kisses your head. „So, stop worrying about whether you are enough for me, because you, my little witch, are enough for me, alright? and I‘m not going anywhere“. You nod into her chest as you begin crying again, the walls finally tumbling down with each confession and reassuring of your girlfriend, finally feeling understood, your heart less heavy and your head feeling empty for the first time in weeks.

The two of you stay tangled in each others embrace, similar to the way your hearts are tangled in each other‘s chest, the connection between you stronger than ever before. Agatha asks questions, listening intently to your experience with this in the past, curious how you overcame it to begin with and offering her help. She offered to get you on your old medication again, offered to take you to the neccessary appointments and therapy, never forcing you, only wanting to get you the best help possible and what makes you comfortable. And you agreed, knowing there was no coming out of this on your own. And so, the two of you made a plan, Agatha knowing you hadn‘t left the house in a while and knowing this required just that. But the two of you spoke throughout the night, more confessions slipping from your lips and the usual tough woman telling you of similar struggles in her youth.

By the end of the night, the two of you are wrapped in each other‘s embrace in bed, you laying in her arms, listening to her soft breathing and her hands on your back, rubbing soothing circles and drawing patterns, knowing it would calm you. „Thank you Aggy“ you thank her eventually, feeling the exhaustion from the evening but also the comfort of her embrace. „Always, bunny“ she reassures before pressing a kiss to your cheek and pulling you a little closer. And so, for the first night in weeks, you manage to fall asleep without the racing thoughts, your heart beating out of your chest and your trembling hands. Tonight, you feel safe, knowing the truth was finally out there, knowing she wasn‘t going to leave. And Agatha wouldn‘t leave, not now and not in the future when the days would look so much brighter again and this would be a faint memory and reminder of some dark times. She was with you, forever and always.

[planetary-gus]

Some downsides to the demigods powers/just being a demigod in general

Quick TW, I advise you tread with caution because some of these can be darker than the rest

1. When Will heals he's literally putting a piece of his own health into someone's body, so if he goes too far he'll end up killing himself

2. All the Apollo kids have very very sensitive ears, which contributes to sensory issues, getting overwhelmed, and meltdowns

3. Hazel/the Hecate kids struggle separating reality from illusion sometimes and can be prone to psychosis and hallucinations

4. Hypnos kids very ironically have insomnia

5. Similarly, Poseidon kids are prone to dehydration

6. Zeus kids are obviously asthmatic

7. The Hades kids have hypermobility issues/hEDS

8. Any chthonic demigods also struggle with fainting disorders

9. Some Hermes kids have ironic navigation issues, and can never remember any directions they're given

10. Apollo kids can't lie even if their life is directly on the line

11. Aphrodite kids are prone to NPD and struggle to form relationships

12. Ares kids are just as prone to BPD or bipolar and struggle with vulnerability and letting people in

13. Rachel commonly dissociates and sometimes feels like her body isn't actually hers

14. Hazel has problems with stiff muscles and her body feeling like a rock itself

15. Frank sometimes forgets he's actually a person

16. Athena kids are prone to anxiety and panic disorders, paranoia, and agoraphobia

17. Reyna forgets she has an actual body of her own

18. Demigods in general are prone to POTS or autoimmune disorders

19. Leo is sensitive to any other kind of burn except fire (steamburns/carpetburn/sunburn/etc)

20. Nico is prone to hypothermia if he overuses his powers

21. Leo and Will are both prone to overheating from their powers

22. Iris kids are ironically either colorblind, or have the color perception a shrimp. There is no in between.

23. Dionysus kids often have ABS (Auto-Brewery Syndrome)

24. Hephaestus kids are prone to heat stroke/fevers

25. As well as issues with weakness and fragile bones/joints in their legs

26. Some Apollo kids can scream so loud they can burst eardrums or even stun those close enough, although this usually leaves them with raw, bleeding throats

27. Demeter kids are prone to scoliosis due to how frequently they need to bend down to garden

28. Hermes kids usually mask their real personalities with a "chaotic mask" so they usually forget what they're really like

29. Iris kids are very sensitive to light and often need to wear sunglasses just to be able to walk around because of retina sensitivity

30. Occasionally, Athena kids can experience degeneration in their optic nerves that can cause blindness and eventually spread to other areas of the body (bilateral optic neuropathy is what I believe it's called but feel free to correct me on that)

Add to this list as you please, and this was all just some silly things me an my gf thought of, I apologize if we upset anyone

[a-man-in-the-crowd]

Pluto Is Trans (in my humble opinion)

okay so as far as i'm aware this is a pretty common hc in the fandom (i lurk in the tumblr side of the fandom mostly and i haven't taken the time to go through the pluto tag simply bc i wanted to make this post first), BUT i just wanted to add my two cents into it bc i love pluto and need a reason to yap about him

i'm mostly going to be focusing on him in the maze arc, simply because i think his character has remained pretty consistent since then, as well as his flashback. if i ever noticed anything else in later (or even future) chapters i might come back to this but for now i think i basically have everything i can think of down

of course most of this is still pretty much projecting ☠️ i'm pretty well aware pluto isn't like ACTUALLY trans. this is just a headcanon based on things we've seen of him, not like an actual theory or anything

1. His Appearance

so the first thing that really got me thinking about how he has major trans vibes is his design

comically oversized coat that covers up his actual figure, he's slouching (to hide his chest, mayhaps??), and his hair gives me major trans vibes for reasons i'm not sure how to explain but like let me try anyways

maybe i'm digging too deep into this, but his hair feels VERY different from the other male characters (montresor with gorgeous shoulder-length hair is an outlier and shall not be counted) and again i have no clue how to put words to this but it has the vibes of someone who's too nervous to cut it too short bc 'what if it looks bad' (re: what if i look like i'm trying too hard to look like a guy). but that might just be the projection talking.

oh yeah, he's also the shortest male character as far as i'm aware. basically every male character towers over him (so, so real, i fear) and even will is taller than him (though apparently will is 5'10??? idek anymore 😭). now, does being short make you afab? no, obviously not. but that + the fact he's wearing and oversized shirt gives me some major trans vibes

most of this stuff is incidental, but honestly that's definitely the most actually concrete thing i have to explain myself

fear not, though, i can and WILL read too deep into things and i will read things however i wish

2. His Agoraphobia

the only 'level' of the fear maze that he has a big reaction to is the agoraphobia level. why?

now, could this very reasonably because he's paranoid? yes. but you can be paranoid AND trans. in fact, i think the two frequently go hand-in-hand, especially in areas where being 'caught' as trans can be dangerous.

perhaps he's scared of being stared at because he fears they'll figure out he isn't 'really' a man. and what then, when they figure it out? what'll they do then?

i wouldn't be surprised if pluto had some sort of traumatic experience while being in a crowd alone. this doesn't necessarily have anything to do with my hc, but it very well could. we know he's very small and frail, it doesn't seem like he had many friends when he was alive, and the neighbourhood he lived in doesn't seem particularly safe. he has plenty reason to be terrified, even ignoring my silly lil hc, but i think this particular debilitating fear implies he has genuine experience with something bad happening in a crowd.

3. He's Physically Affectionate

something something you can be a cis guy and be physically affectionate something something this is just a thing to consider in relation to literally everything else i'm talking about something something

anyways

he's my emotional support animal actually ❤️

obviously we've seen other male characters be physically affectionate (like duke), but this is definitely a trait i'd ascribe the most to pluto. now, does this mean anything in isolation? of course not. he has trauma, he could've just been desperate for affection when he was alive and therefore in his afterlife he has this overwhelming need to aggressively hug his friends (which is a completely fair interpretation and i think most of the the things i talk about are a combination of trauma and being trans)

but like just let me say my piece. what if he's more physically affectionate because he was raised with, let's say 'feminine rules of socializing' — which is to say, hugging your friends is extremely normal and in fact encouraged.

this is one of those things where like if it weren't for everything else i wouldn't be saying anything, but BECAUSE of everything else i feel the need to scrutinize a bit more. i think it's definitely one of my weaker points but like. i don't care, ngl.

4. His Flashback

sooo funny story i can barely ever read this scene for multiple reasons (i feel so bad for pluto i want him to be crushed by the weight of all his friends' hugs and love he deserves it) but i will try my best to recall it and get like a semi-decent photo in for reference

i think this scene is kinda what confirms in my head that this shall remain a hc, because pluto's dad refers to him as a boy and by his name (which i will get don't worry i could never forget about how incredibly transgender it is to be named fucking PLUTO). but, consider: i am delusional and a professional bullshitter.

so here is my absolutely nonsensical take based on nothing but vibes and some unfortunate personal experiences 🎉

this is gonna be my biggest 'bear with me yet', but plzplzplz bear with me. obviously by no stretch of the imagination would pluto's bitchass dad be supportive of him being trans or whatever word they'd use to describe pluto when he was alive (i've seen people theorize around ww1? idk man i don't have the knowledge on time periods required to rlly theorize about that).

but, just because someone calls you the right name and pronouns and terms doesn't make them an ally. this specific line from pluto's dad absolutely REEKED of that weaponization of gender dysphoria that at the very least i have experienced. taking every opportunity to tear down your gender identity because you're not stereotypically [gender] enough. someone like pluto's dad definitely feels like someone who would, instead of trying to deny pluto's identity, use it against him to make him feel shitty.

after all, having a son has its merits. pluto can work with no problem whatsoever, and something tells me that pluto's dad is a raging misogynist anyways. but that doesn't make him care any more for his kid, just make him more useful. and in reality, pluto's dad probably thinks it all one huge joke.

but yk that's just me yapping

5. HIS NAME IS FUCKING PLUTO?

okay so judging by pluto's comment to eulalie about his name, i think it's pretty safe to assume that he was specifically named after the roman god. and from what we've seen of pluto's dad, there is NO WAY he was the one who named him. unless pluto's dad for whatever reason had an admiration for roman mythology of all things. maybe autism runs in the family who knows.

now, i don't want to discount the idea that maybe his mother was the one who named him, but like i'm not even sure what the hell happened to his mom. so like. idk.

the name pluto in general definitely gives off the vibes of 'i named myself at twelve' (/affectionate, if your name is pluto you are beautiful and loved). it's nerdy but also mildly edgy. not exactly a common name, either. and the fact he knows his greek mythology implies interest in this sort of thing.

now, could his interest in greek and roman mythology be because of his mother, who could have named him pluto? yes, of course. in fact, the idea of a woman who was presumably living in poverty naming her son after the roman god of riches makes me teary-eyed. but so does the idea of a little trans boy living a shitty life with his shitty dad (who probably drained most of their money on booze, let's be real) naming himself after the roman god of riches.

also, the way he responds to eulalie gives off the vibe of 'well, i literally named myself after the roman god pluto so'. but that could just be me.

and last, but certainly not least...

6. His Spectre

this one is the cherry on top for me personally

he wants to escape the binds of society? go beyond what humanity deems admissible? YK LIKE BECOMING A DIFFERENT GENDER???

i don't have anything much else to say about the fact he's a cryptid, but yk what i do have more to say on?

6.5 So, like, wtf does it mean to be a 'domesticated cryptid'? — A Theory

now i am fully operating under my trans pluto hc, but i think this idea might be able to make sense with the canon of him being probably cis.

ms poppet says that cryptids are people who wish to 'go beyond what society deems admissible' — hence, they're generally wild animals. perhaps the reason pluto is a housecat is because the 'inadmissible' thing he wanted to do was live his life as he is; a normal, regular, cisgender man — or just like in general a normal dude, something he couldn't do for not-necessarily-trans reasons (like, maybe, being able to escape life with his shitty father).

he's not a wild animal because he didn't want to live outside of society, he wanted to be fully integrated into it as a normal person but he thought this impossible because society has already deemed him other. he could never be more than the role he was assigned — not the same way he could were he a normal, cis guy.

—

so yeah that's the end of my little ramble, if you read all the way thank you very much for letting me yap bc honestly i think the more i wrote this post the more genuinely convinced i was that pluto's trans. like idc if canon 100% proves me wrong it's too late i will simply ignore it and invent my own canon.

[awkness]

Some Ben headcanons (the character from serial killer! platonic! yandere older brother story) bc I'm procrastinating writing the final chapter <3

Content Warnings: talks of murder, animal death, child abuse, manipulation, isolation, kidnapping, emotional dependency, and general yandere behavior

He would never admit it, but he wants your approval badly. So much of his life revolves around you, and to have you upset with him makes him feel terrible. Like soul crushingly terrible. He would do anything to get you to not be mad/upset with him

But at the same time, the fact that you hold so much power over him absolutely scares him. He loves you and they way you can bring out the more human parts of him, but hates how vulnerable you can make him feel. The very thought of you getting hurt/leaving him/or just plain not paying enough attention to him is enough to make his skin crawl

He copes with this by taking an incredible amount of control over your life, often through the use of manipulation. Suffering from paranoia and early signs of agoraphobia? It's sad to see you upset, but if it keeps you in the house, then it wouldn't hurt for him to enable it. After all, you can't leave him if you're always home! You want to go into the basement? That's just silly, you'll only spook yourself, besides, you have no business down there anyway. Leave all of that stuff to him. You want to make a new friend? Well, he won't ever say no directly, he may even encourage it. He'll even be there to comfort you when they inevitably die leave, reminding you that friends will come and go, be family is forever.

He will use force to keep you with him if necessary, but only as a last resort. So much of his identity is based on his concept of being a good brother, which was shaped in his early years to contrast his father's behavior. To him, it means being supportive, unconditionally loving, dependable, in control of his temper, and above all, non-violent to those he loves. Doing anything that breaks these rules of how a good brother should behave would send him down a spiral of self doubt and hate as he wonders if he's truly any different from his father, or if he's doomed to end up like him, a lonely bitter man with all his family hating him. This will usually end with him flying into a rage, which he'll take out on whatever poor victim he can pick up off the street. By the time he's done killing, dismembering, and disposing of his latest victim, he's cooled off enough to address the problem in a more rational manner

He had a very stereotypical start to his serial killing. He was (and still is) an outcast who had a difficult time emotionally connecting to his peers because he simply couldn't relate to them. One day, he killed a stray animal and realized he felt absolutely nothing over its death specifically, but felt panic over if this act of violence meant he was like his father or not. So, he did everything he could to keep himself from harming/murdering another living being. But an obsession with death/murder began growing in the back of his mind, especially as he was forced to deal with his father's abuse constantly. One day, it all reached a boiling point, and he decided to kill his father, and it was such a thrill for him. He decided that it was so exciting, that he should kill another. And then another. Until it became a habit. Whenever he felt the urge, he would go out at night when reader is asleep and pick someone he thought no one would miss to kill

The reason he's so attached to reader is because he was pretty much forced to raise them. In the beginning he wasn't really thrilled, and a lot of the raising in your early years was actually done by your mom. But she was pretty emotionally negligent, and your dad was a shit show, so that left only Ben for you to seek out for love and comfort. He would never admit it now, but that used to annoy him so much as a kid. But he also knew it was more work to leave you alone as you would cry for him to come and hold you and play with you, so it was easier to play along

As time went by, he began to notice how happy you got when he walked into a room, how excited you sounded when you said his name. He could do just about anything and little you would be over the moon, taking about how amazing he is. You were the only person in years to hug him and say I love you. He increasingly became dependent on you and you on him, becoming each other's sole force of familial love and emotional validation. So much of what he does is to get you to continue to look at him with the unquestioning and unwavering love like you did as a child

If you were to ever say you hate him, he would be distraught. To him, hearing that would be nothing short of pure, raw pain. It would be a blow to his self-esteem, and he would be scrambling to try and find a way back into your good graces, and there's very little he wouldn't do just to get your approval again, whether thats by giving you expensive gifts or manipulating you into apologizing. He would pretty much be acting like a kicked and lost puppy until you said you were sorry and told him you loved him again

If you were to ever leave, he would be absolutely devestated. One moment he's feeling this soul crushing emptiness that has him unable to function, then he's going into a blind rage because you're his sibling, how dare you leave him? Why would you betray him like that? Didn't he take care of you and love you? Wasn't he good enough for you? There will be times he'll be dissociating so badly he'll lose hours and not be able to remember them. And in between all that, he'll be hunting you down whenever he can. The only thing that could make him stop is if he were dead

Speaking of dead, if you ever died that would absolutely break him lol. Like his entire personality would be broken down and he would have to spend years painstakingly trying to pull himself back together and rebuild his concept of self in order to be half as functional as he is now. Buts that's only if he wants to try and move on from you, which I have my doubts on. Most likely it'll get to the point were he becomes so consumed by his grief and lost sense of self that he just says "fuck it" and kidnaps a look alike to take your place. Deep down he knows it isn't the same but at this point he's mostly managed to delude himself into believing that this is the same as having you around. Well, that is, until your look alike does something that doesn't align with his perception of you and he has a breakdown over it. He might end up killing the look alike in a blind rage, which brings a whole other level of pain and grief to the table (until he kidnaps another look alike and deludes himself into believing everything is fine again lol)

[fandomfluffandfuck]

thinkin’ about Bucky who is freshly released from HYDRA, still wary and a little bit feral. He doesn’t know how to manage himself and his new freedom, and neither does Steve.

But they both know that the only person they really feel comfortable around is each other.

Bucky curls tight into Steve at night, under blankets and as close to Steve as possible. Steve holds him like it’s his only job in the world, because to him it is. He holds Bucky’s waist and calls him a good boy, says he’s so loved and so safe. Bucky practically purrs, and responds in a litany of languages.

“Мой. Мой Стиви.” he’ll whisper, and Steve will press a kiss to his nose or forehead and Bucky will melt further into him.

He doesn’t go outside of the apartment much. Being tortured by a secret agency for 90 years will give anyone agoraphobia. So Bucky sticks to Steve’s side at all times, and Steve is more than happy to shower his sweet angel with all the love and affection he has in him.

So it’s not unusual when Steve will be working on the couch and Bucky will come up with a blanket draped over him and a tired look on his face. Steve will just set his work aside, open up his arms, and hold his perfect boy until he falls asleep. He’s had to learn a bit of Russian to be able to understand his baby, especially when he’s really tired.

“Можем ли мы посмотреть шоу о природе?” Bucky will ask, and even if it takes Steve a minute to understand, he’ll nod and turn on the nature documentary.

It’s progress when Steve comes home to find fresh cookies on the counter, and a proud Bucky sitting on the couch.

“Did you make these, Bucky?” Steve will smile, and Bucky will nod happily.

Steve will lean down and kiss him and Bucky will purr and smile brighter than Steve’s seen since he left HYDRA.

And it’s even more progress when Bucky calls Steve on a Wednesday afternoon, and starts rambling in quick Russian (or is it Ukrainian? Steve has a hard time telling sometimes) and Steve has to tell him to slow down.

That’s when Steve learns that Bucky went on a walk today with the service dog provided by SHIELD. All by himself. Steve quickly excuses himself from the building and runs home to shower his darling in praise and cuddles because he is so goddamn proud of him.

Bucky giggles and kisses back, and Steve is totally not crying because he’s getting his best guy back.

That’s all!! Just wanted to share my silly stucky thoughts with you!

Google translated, take with a grain of salt, lol:

"Мой. Мой Стиви." My, my Stevie "Можем ли мы посмотреть шоу о природе?" Can we watch a nature show?

S O B B I N G

Feral Bucky is the fucking worst because he rips my heart out but also the fucking best because there's just...

🤌🏻something about him🤌🏻

So damaged and broken yet so innocent and sweet, too. Burdened by so much but not by social norms. You know. You understand. Clearly.

Feral Bucky, who struggles with words but is especially physical and needy in that way, lives in the deepest parts of my soul. It worms its way into my brain and makes me feral. Words are hard, but touch is easy--when it's Steve, touch is easy.

This is beautiful. Thank you. I love this. I hold it very close to my chest.

[moonspirit]

Annie was stuck in the crystal during the time that puberty would hit her the most. How does coming back from the crystal AND losing titan powers affect her? I was wondering what are your thoughts about it. Does her body change afterwards or not? How does she feel about it? Whats her reaction to getting her first period/PMS? How are the girly talks with Pieck? Did Armin notice the change and/or sense Annie's worries related to the lack of it?

Hello anon!

I've spoken about this a few times in the past so in case you haven't seen those posts yet, they're here if you're interested :O~

the whole age discourse

the growth discourse

Annie being malnourished and a HC that she develops agoraphobia.

Tho to put it simply, my thoughts are that she suffers from weakness, tiredness and exhaustion post losing the titan powers and this lasts for quite a while. Something about the strain of carrying the power inside her all this time that makes itself known only once its gone. Imo she probably also suffers from insomnia and *some* binge eating tendencies.

Tho I've always thought that post-canon she's likely to maybe gain a bit of healthy weight and perhaps even grow an inch. The fact that we saw her stunted at the pre-timeskip height means we will never know if Annie's was always destined to be a short person through her genetics or if she's just that way because of the crystal with potential to grow more post-canon, or if the crystal irreversibly damaged the possibility of that ever happening - but it's fun to think about any which way xD I personally like to imagine she does gain an inch!

As for what she feels regarding this, hmmm, not a lot because her skillset has always mattered more to her than physical attributes and this attitude is here to stay, but if we talk about post-canon Annie who's hit by a 10000 tonne truck of new feelings and emotions, then it won't be too wrong if I say it makes her insecure sometimes???

Coming to the whole period thing - I have a very very specific hc about this, and it is that she doesn't get them until her powers are gone haha xD It's just an idea of mine but playing around with some vague titan science and biology ideas, the shifter powers do not prevent her puberty from kicking in, per se, but rather that it "wicks away" the physical aches, pains, and bleeding. So Annie experiences a normal period as we know it, only post-rumbling. (If you're a reader of VBEOW this is actually a major and recurring point of discussion and there's a lot of involvement of Armin and Pieck in this subject!)

As for girly time with Pieck, ahahaha xD Omg post-canon Pikuani is one of my favourite things ever, because I really REALLY love thinking about these two finding comfort and friendship and "sisterhood", shall we say? in each other after all this time being separated. With Annie's aloof personality, it's just my hc that during her training years before being sent off to Paradis, she didn't really get to "bond" with Pieck. But post-canon? So much time to get close and silly and confess some of their deepest feelings to each other, under the reassurance that, here is someone just like me who has all the pains I do and will understand me :>

[yandere-paramour]

All the recent Ata asks have spiralled my little bunny brain into coming up with like the perfect most pathetic wet cat useless lesbian darling for Atlanta and uuggghhhh if only I could wriiteeeee ;^;

Anyways I gots a totally rad little bunny question for your silly yandere’s >:3

How would they all fair with a darling who’s either a voluntary shut-in, or a shut-in due to outside circumstances? (Like chronic illness, agoraphobia, etc etc)

This question is very normal and not at all sparked because of anything going on with me nope nope my bones are pawfectly fine :3

-The nervous bunny in your ask bin

Oh, Noelle LOVES this. She loves her perfect Darling safely inside the apartment. She will absolutely spoil you with anything you desire, and anything you could possibly be interested in, she will ask a favor of Atalanta to get it to you. Like seriously, she will ask Ata to set up a Broadway musical in a secret warehouse just to please you. She loves staying at home with you; being safely in the house with her perfect Darling is the ideal scenario.

Atalanta doesn't mind it. If you are this way, her brain unconsciously associates you with her father and she thinks "oh... this one is fragile". She understands how to deal with a fragile Darling; remember she learned from the best. You will be treated like you are made of glass and every decision will be made to keep you as safe and healthy as possible. She won't even make you come to galas or public events with her if you're not comfortable. You will be for her eyes only💙.

Vivien is probably the worst with this. He's an energetic little guy. He doesn't like staying bored in the house; he wants to take his Darling out on the town and have fun with them. A Darling who couldn't come out and have fun with him would make it difficult for him and his hyperactive personality. He wouldn't say anything, he would just suffer in silence because his skin crawls when he's not doing something.

[fluideli123]

Watching the Paw Patrol movies is actually a really interesting phenomenon between looking at cute puppies experience found family and seeing dog camps and eugenics just casually thrown into the plot so well that you have to spot and point while your jaw drops.

Like, what do you mean Chase was abandoned by his original owners in Adventure City? Shows Megalophobia and even Agoraphobia because of it? What do you mean this CHILD was nearly ran over? Near death? Like did we truly just brush past that?

And not to mention Skye? Girl was born different from everyone else and faced dog ableism for being "small and weak." She faced worth issues because of how she was born and so it caused her to believe she needed to "fix" or "enhance" herself in order to be worth a damn? Also she ALSO nearly died in a blizzard?

I need more movies, because what the fuck happened to the rest of the pups? Like jesus christ how can the lore get even darker????

Also I can and WILL analyze Ryder for HOURS! That boy obviously went through some shit to always be pulling his lil dog children away from danger and thinking completely side lining them in okay without a proper discussion. Like! Sure! I get you, but, sir you could do so much better what held you back??? What happened in your life that you would know how to get your hands on high tech and merchandise like it's your passion?

Also, my live reactions to the movie so ya'll understand how far the illness goes:

[IMAGE ID: The following images are messages between myself (A), dakota (D), and pyro (P). I start the conversation:

A: ...I'm sorry dog camps? Chase can you stop being relatable

D: Dog camps?

A: Humdinger literally is rounding up all the dogs in the ity and putting them into a "reformed" obedience school and it's- it's giving dog camps

D: Oh. /END ID]

[IMAGE ID: A: PLEASE! Okay but humdinger is the embodiment of capitalism and ecological terrorist

P: oh he is /END ID]

[IMAGE ID: A: GIGGLES! Also I think Ryder is a blunt guy but his intentions aren't ever mean. He also is so one to explain after an event is over [why] he chose a decision but it's not what the pups agree with because they're impatient and because Ryder has a flaw in it

P: Amen

A: Headcanon that Ryder grew up in a strict household so his pup parenting is affected. Not that it excuses it but it just explains his tone and such

P: Truth

A: I am so invested in Paw Patrol lore I regret nothing /END ID]

[IMAGE ID: A: Me when- me when Chase is believed in, told he is brave and deadass jumps an entire broken off building just to get to his dad Ryder

P sends a crying cat emoji

A: I am so not okay, something about the second movie makes me think [Ryder] learned from Chase about "we do it together" and "giving second changes and not putting people on the side lines easily"

P sends mant crying cat emojis along with: The silly dog movie made me feel so much /END ID]

[IMAGE ID: P: Rocky I love you so much oh my GOD. Diagnosing him with the 'tism

A: Please do PLEASE! Chase is giving MacKenzie from Bluey about abandonment

D: God why do you inflict this damage upon us-

A: Because it's the truth and I only speak the truth /END ID]

[IMAGE ID: A: Something about the scene with Rocky and Chase sleeping and her shaking her head [and in the second movie wanting to] constantly prove her abilities gives me Trans Vibes I don't know /END ID]

[IMAGE ID: A: I agree!! Plus, it fits into the eugenic themes in the second movie and [Skye's] story. Still hung up on doggy camps gotta be honest. That shit was a weird click in my brain

D: Well, camps do have a certain history for the world so, makes sense

A: Yeah, no I agree, which is why I keep thinking about it. Like collecting mass groups of beings you despise and think are lowly into a confined and horrible area to be dealt with?? Yeah, man, I don't know

P: That sure was something

A: For real, like, I don't know, it's definitely Chase lore and if we're gonna connect that to something than that's a can to spill /END ID]

[IMAGE ID: A: Mhm mhm!! Also something about Rumble knowing science is my favorite thing ever. Boom!Knuckles and Movie!Rumble need an entire series dedicated to them being them(tm) /END ID]

[IMAGE ID: A series of images on the same topic read:

A: PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE! I also believe Zuma gives biracial vibes, don't ask me why

P: YOURE RIGHT! Zuma keeps being forgotten i think that should be fixed

A sends a gif of Zuma dancing while stating: I agree I could never forget that sweet pea. I headcanon him as afro-latino Asian, the pup gods told me so

P: I'm the pup gods

A sends a gif of Marshall filling a kiddie pool with Chase, Skye, Rumble and Zuma, stating: WHEEZE! Chase gets to be white passing Latino. Skye gives Cajuns decent. Marshall is the only white boy. Rumble is only half white and I don't know what the other half is

D: Filipino, why? Because you couldn't decided and I'm a whore for Filipino representation

A: YES! I AGREE WITH THIS! Chase is Latino, Skye is Cajun, Zuma is Asian Afro-Latino, Rumble is White and Filipino, Marshall is White! "Why are you giving dogs race and ancestory" BECAUSE I CAN AND I WILL

D: Because it feels right /END ID]

[IMAGE ID: A: Something Something Liberty trying to define herself by others around her and not herself. ALSO! "Amplify things about us" and it's about Skye flying and being strong, something something, she was always strong and deserving of her title and position she was just the only one who thought she had to be more /END ID]

[IMAGE ID: Two images on the same topic that state:

A: Also Liberty always enhancing or being a double example of the main lesson and theme and even plot is something that is important to me

P: Liberty is very important to me. She's also the oldest trust, I'm the dog nerd

A: In the first [movie Liberty] wanted to join something she admired and wanted to serve something bigger than herself which enhanced Chase's story about worth, that fear is something to overcome and not stop you, to get back up again and fight for what you want.

A: Also Liberty pushing Lil kids to get their potential reflecting and enhancing the theme of how much Skye pushes herself because she has something she wants and always thinks she has to prove it by pushing and doing things on her own [when she] shouldn't have to /END ID]

[IMAGE ID: A: Also to add into the eugenics themes, Skye believing she has to be "enhanced" (made better) to have her full worth and power to display just because she was born differently than everyone else

D sends a deeply concerned emoji

A: Chase's story being about bravery and Skye's about Bodily Worth /END ID]

[IMAGE ID: P: Ryder actually makes me so mad. I'm sorry I try hard to love him but he makes me SO MAD

A: Ryder when he took Chase to when he nearly got ran over, Ryder not letting Chase or Liberty or Skye join when they're having a hard time, always putting even pups he doesn't know very well first about their will being by ending a program and it makes me think so AGGRESSIVELY that he's afraid of losing them and so he keeps thinking leaving them in safe places is what is best when it's NOT

A: NO SAME! Ryder "to ensure everyone's safety I have to leave people behind" Papa. I need to analyze him so bad. What happened to you to make you like this bro

P: I see where he's coming from but oh my god he makes me so mad /END ID]

[IMAGE ID: A: No, I agree, in the next movie I need [Ryder] to learn, man. [Skye is taking all [the crystals] SKYE DON'T! Don't over compensate for something you don't even need to :(((. The eugenics hit her hard. Also they're so found family coded, Ryder saw all these kids and adopted them and helped them find themselves and their purpose and supports them so heavily and I need to bash my head in about how much they mean to me /END ID]

[IMAGE ID: A: Skye's movie is also about how accessibility and community is important but putting her worth in your "incapabilities" because you were born different. Also ableism [from Victoria saying] "need me to slow down Lil pup" /END ID]

[IMAGE ID: A: Also Victoria's parallel to Skye using her "madness" aka mental instability and personality disorder and Skye's physical disabilities. I am right give me my Paw Patrol award /END ID]

[IMAGE ID: A: Token girl [Skye] becomes an actual fucking character I adore and love and need more of

P: Token girl proves she's not just a diversity hire

A: With her own movie too! Oh, this scene, this scene makes me GO INSANE. Ryder "I need you safe my daughter please come back to me." No pups too small go girl go! Skye against ableism- Ryder thinking he lost his daughter and her brothers thinking the same thing! Trans girl power! "How can a puppy be trans" Because I said so!

P: And you are right!

A: Doesn't she have trans vibes?! Like I cannot explain it [she is] Trans because she was Born That Way(tm)

P: She does! She does! /END ID]

[IMAGE ID: A: "Protect all those who need our help!" Skye against ableism! I love her so much! She's healing! 10/10 movies, man. Also something something the pups cars and armor being symbolism for disability accessibility

D: Okay now make an essay about it right now/j

P: /srs /END ID]

All in all, if there's one thing to take away from this post it's the following screenshots

[IMAGE ID: A: I need to start making Paw Patrol fics now

A: I am about to feed the paw patrol fandom /END ID]

[tragedy-peanut-gallery]

do you have any headcanons for the maidenvault princesses?

I think I have a couple! Some of these might be gathered from previous headcanon posts so forgive me if I’m repeating myself again lol

Daena:

- canonically a daddy’s girl, definitely thought her father and brother were the coolest people alive as a kid though didn’t completely understand the trauma her dad was still grappling with until after his death

-loved her sisters and naerys but probably had a bit of a Not Like Other Girls goth phase when she was little, poor girl 💀

- tried to bond with the Last Dragon, but was forbidden from ever going into the dragonpit and never managed to succeed in sneaking in until after the dragon died. Probably named her horses dragon names like Meleys and Meraxes because she wanted to imagine she was riding one of them

- likely did consider running away entirely in the few times she broke out, but felt bad about abandoning her sisters and decided to stay for their sake (even tho she got kinda mad at them abt it)

- when it comes to her relationship with aegon…… okay ngl I do think she willingly slept with him, but was kinda coerced into doing so because he helped break her out and was pressured into feeling like she owed him

- Mentioned this before but she and Barba had a very horrible toxic frienemy-ship. Like, they hated each other, probably openly talked shit about one another but also shit-talked everyone else in the Maidenvault and stayed up all night talking about how much they fuckin hated it there

-She definitely loves Daemon cause he’s her baby boy but was bitter at being made pregnant to begin with. Her relationship with him was loving but really unhealthy

- Idk how she dies? I’m pretty sure she’s supposed to have died young, honestly I headcanon sometime in her late 20’s/ early 30’s but she gets a cool rad hot girl death like. Idk. Fighting a wolf. Or getting caught in a storm and getting shipwrecked

Rhaena:

- Okay so I think she might be the sister we know least about so she gets the most fanfic-y writing cause I’m getting silly with it. For starters, absolutely her mom’s favourite, probably took a lot after Daenaera in looks and was overall really cute and sweet as a kid

- That being said!! In her maidenvault era, she was absolutely deranged. Like, still a nice girl, but because she was weirdly okay with being trapped in the maidenvault to begin with I do think she started acting like a weirdo. Like, when Daena went all in refusing to admit who her baby daddy was Rhaena was saying shit like “well maybe the father should be gelded and thrown naked onto the sept to be beaten with sticks. In a holy way :)”

- Still Naerys’ favourite cousin and ngl Naerys was probably her favourite cousin too, but their views on the faith were a littleeeeee different. Because of how weird she gets I kinda like to think she was also just weird about her views and how the faith works. Thinks even a bad thought needs to be severely punished and probably did hurt herself just a littleee in the process which Naerys absolutely did not fuck with

- Developped agoraphobia post-maidenvault era. Started getting really anxious about just being outside so immediately went to be a septa just to close herself inside another holy-ish place because that’s kinda what she saw as her protection. Unhealthy coping mechanism queen <3

- Idk I don’t have much on her beyond that. Think she died pretty peacefully? Probably some flu when she was older

Elaena:

- Childhood friends with Daeron because she was a little too young to really be playmates with her sisters or brothers. I want to think they had a normal familial relationship as kids? But then again this is the Targs we’re talking about here soo…..

- When she originally cut her hair it was so bad and fucked up that she needed Daena and Rhaena both to help fix it. She ended up with a very short bowl cut that she eventually grew out a little, and learned to maintain her own hair because she got so embarrassed asking for help 😭

- Was genuinely in love with Alyn, though a bittttt too young and sheltered to really realize how fucked up it was and how their relationship might’ve probably definitely ruined his marriage to Baela. Maybeeee it’s for the best he went missing-

- As for the whole Viserys Plumm thing…. Okay, I gotta be honest I kinda doubt Aegon was really the dad here. Tbh that does lean into some fun little horror elements if he is, but let’s bfr here Eleana would neverrrr sleep with AEGON of all people willingly??? Especially by then cause there’s no doubt in my mind he was starting to look pretty gross

- Tbh I think she and Myriah initially kinda had a strained relationship because of her initial sorta weird familial relationship with Daeron when they were younger, but they slowly started to get along and respect each other as members of the government

- I also headcanon her to have been the one to suggest the Aerys/Aelinor match (as mentioned previously I think she might be Aelinor’s stepmom just cause it works better timeline-wise)

- Honestly, she lived to be so old that ngl I kinda think she might’ve straight up died from natural causes like- seventy is a legendary age in westeros girlie outlived everyoneeee in her generation! Hell she might’ve lived long enough to see Egg become king before kicking it!

[ambrossart]

I’m so sorry to clog up your notifications, but for some reason, Tumblr is refusing to let me comment 🙄 Think of this as a continuation of my comment from a few minutes ago 🤦‍♀️

About the boxes: right?! I’ve donated/given away/thrown away way too many things for there to still be this much stuff.

By the way, you should be so proud of yourself for going through all this moving with agoraphobia. I’ve only moved once and it’s caused a major strain. Going from Rhode Island to Tennessee is not an easy feat. If it helps to write out what’s going on, please keep us updated! Again, I’m sending soooo much rest your way!

I'm writing this from Tennessee!

Oh my god, that was the most stressful move of my life. My husband accidentally went through a moving broker and we 100% got scammed. They severely underquoted us (a common tactic), so when the movers showed up, the cost was more than double what was quoted. We were backed into a corner. Our options were to pay the extra cost or throw away all of our furniture. Thankfully, my parents loaned us some money, so we got our furniture loaded onto the truck (minus our dining room table, which we had already sacrificed), but now we have no idea when we're getting our furniture delivered—or if we're getting our furniture delivered. I hate moving so much. I wanna cry, but I'm too exhausted.

But my new apartment is gorgeous. Apart from the leaky sink (which should be fixed today) and the lack of furniture, it's incredible. Everything is brand new. There's so much space. The community is up in the hills, so it's got this quiet, woodsy vibe. Once we're settled, I know I'm gonna be really happy here.

And yeah, my mental health has definitely taken a hit with all this moving. My agoraphobia is triggered by major changes in environment. Actually, even minor changes will trigger it. During the drive here, for example, I was having mini panic attacks at every rest stop because I was scared I was gonna get lost on my way to the restroom (I know that sounds silly, but 🤷‍♀️). I have to Google every new place I visit so that I can see pictures of the inside and outside. If I could download a map, I would.

But you wouldn't know I'm struggling if you saw me. I go through great effort to hide it.

My lowest point was in college. My freshman year was fine because I had a roommate and would go out with her, but my sophomore year I was by myself, and I didn't leave my dorm for months, except to go to class (and I barely ever went to class either, but luckily I had very understanding professors who made accommodations for me). I also developed a slight ED during this time. I was too scared to go get food, so I wouldn't eat, except for like a candy bar out of the vending machine or something. I was like a little gremlin. I would come out at night, raid the vending machine, and then scurry back into my room before anyone could see me. That’s really embarrassing to admit, but it’s true. And I was losing weight! I was losing so much weight, and I was happy because I had always struggled with my weight, so… win-win, right? I didn’t have to face the terrifying world and I was finally skinny. What could possibly go wrong?

Well, one night I fainted in the shower, fell hard, slammed my head on the bathroom floor, lost conciousness, came to, saw my RA hovering over me, and finally realized I had a major problem.

Yeah, I was a hot mess in my late teens/early twenties.

I’m still a hot mess, but I’m doing a lot better. 😂

[darkskywishes]

Thank you for liking my post about agoraphobia, I know that it's silly because it's just a like but it means a lot that someone out there in the universe saw it. I struggle with it and knowing someone was ableist about it against me was really upsetting the other day.

So knowing that a single soul saw what I said and heard me honestly really made me feel better today. My mental health hasn't been the best and I really needed to know someone heard me. Maybe that feels silly. Thank u 💜🩷

I’m happy I came across your post and was able to help you feel heard 💕 I’m really sorry you had to deal with that person’s hateful ignorance and ableism. Your post was really well-written and informative, and I hope more people see it and learn something from it. I’m disabled, too, and I often encounter ableism like that and get accused of not actually having the conditions I’m suffering from. Thank you for your ask message! This was really sweet to see in my inbox.