#because I'm a disaster of a human being
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kilobran · 3 months ago
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Love it when my assignment for class is "draw a character" I was gonna do that anyways, so eat that
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inkskinned · 2 years ago
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the thing is there's like, a point of oversaturation for everything, and it's why so many things get dropped after a few minutes. and we act like millennials or gen z kids "have short attention spans" but... that's not quite it. it's more like - we did like it. you just ruined it.
capitalism sees product A having moderate success, and then everything has to come out with their "own version" of product A (which is often exactly the same). and they dump extreme amounts of money and environmental waste into each horrible simulacrum they trot out each season.
now it's not just tiktokkers making videos; it's that instagram and even fucking tumblr both think you want live feeds and video-first programming. and it helps them, because videos are easier to sneak native ads into. the books coming out all have to have 78 buzzwords in them for SEO, or otherwise they don't get published. they are making a live-action remake of moana. i haven't googled it, but there's probably another marvel or starwars something coming out, no matter when you're reading this post.
and we are like "hi, this clone of project A completely misses the point of the original. it is soulless and colorless and miserable." and the company nods and says "yes totally. here is a different clone, but special." and we look at clone 2 and we say "nope, this one is still flat and bad, y'all" and they're like "no, totally, we hear you," and then they make another clone but this time it's, like, a joyless prequel. and by the time they've successfully rolled out "clone 89", the market is incredibly oversaturated, and the consumer is blamed because the company isn't turning a profit.
and like - take even something digital like the tumblr "live streaming" function i just mentioned. that has to take up server space and some amount of carbon footprint; just so this brokenass blue hellsite can roll out a feature that literally none of its userbase actually wants. the thing that's the kicker here: even something that doesn't have a physical production plant still impacts the environment.
and it all just feels like it's rolling out of control because like, you watch companies pour hundreds of thousands of dollars into a remake of a remake of something nobody wants anymore and you're like, not able to afford eggs anymore. and you tell the company that really what you want is a good story about survival and they say "okay so you mean a YA white protagonist has some kind of 'spicy' love triangle" and you're like - hey man i think you're misunderstanding the point of storytelling but they've already printed 76 versions of "city of blood and magic" and "queen of diamond rule" and spent literally millions of dollars on the movie "Candy Crush Killer: Coming to Eat You".
it's like being stuck in a room with a clown that keeps telling the same joke over and over but it's worse every time. and that would be fine but he keeps fucking charging you 6.99. and you keep being like "no, i know it made me laugh the first time, but that's because it was different and new" and the clown is just aggressively sitting there saying "well! plenty of people like my jokes! the reason you're bored of this is because maybe there's something wrong with you!"
#this was much longer i had to cut it down for legibility#but i do want to say i am aware this post doesnt touch on human rights violations as a result of fast fashion#that is because it deserves its own post with a completely different tone#i am an environmental educator#so that's what i know the most about. it wouldn't be appropriate of me to mention off-hand the real and legitimate suffering#that people are going through#without doing my research and providing real ways to help#this is a vent post about a thing i'm watching happen; not a call to action. it would be INCREDIBLY demeaning#to all those affected by the fast fashion industry to pretend that a post like this could speak to their suffering#unfortunately one of the horrible things about latestage capitalism as an activist is that SO many things are linked to this#and i WANT to talk about all of them but it would be a book in its own right. in fact there ARE books about each level of this#and i encourage you to seek them out and read them!!! i am not an expert on that i am just a person on tumblr doing my favorite activity#(complaining)#and it's like - this is the individual versus the industry problem again right because im blaming myself#for being an expert on environmental disaster (which is fucking important) but not knowing EVERYTHING about fast fashion#i'm blaming myself for not covering the many layers of this incredibly complicated problem im pointing out#rather than being like. yeah so actually the fault here lies with the billion dollar industries actually.#my failure to be able to condense an incredibly immense problem that is BOOK-LENGTH into a single text post that i post for free#is not in ANY fucking way the same amount of harm as. you know. the ACTUAL COMPANIES doing this ACTUAL THING for ACTUAL MONEY.#anyway im gonna go donate money while i'm thinking about it. maybe you can too. we can both just agree - well i fuckin tried didn't i#which is more than their CEOs can say
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phantomoftheorpheum · 9 months ago
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"X fell first, Y fell harder," or, in James Beaufort's case, he fell first and harder. I mean, he literally got like .2 seconds of compassion from Ruby and boy dropped like a fucking stone.
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bluastro-yellow · 2 months ago
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stop making complex convoluted overarching plots that become useless the moment they end. put your characters in the decades-long traffic jam again
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hussyknee · 2 years ago
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If you've sent me an ask and I haven't responded, please know that I have seen it and it haunts my every waking hour. This will do nothing to actually make my hyperfocus-driven ass answer it. But know that you have been avenged.
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smile-files · 7 months ago
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oh yeah i finally got to the episode of evangelion where kaworu shows up and meets shinji and yeah they weren't lying. those eva boys are gay as hell
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iniziare · 8 months ago
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Re-tag drop: Yelan
#tag drop#[ yelan. ] i can't change the facts. but if it's a choice between the cold; hard truth and blissful unawareness: i'll take the former.#[ yelan: ic. ] that's a worst-case scenario. but all too often; the most pessimistic speculation turns out to be the closest to the truth.#[ yelan: inquiries. ] oh? you'd like to know more about me? what will you give in exchange then?#[ yelan: countenance. ] an old friend of mine once privately commented to me that ] yelan “is always smiling; but never with her eyes.”#[ yelan: introspection. ] like a phantom she appears in various guises at the center of events; and disappears before the storm stops.#[ yelan: wishes. ] that which hides inside her… that constant calling; it is the blood of heroes which has been howling for 500 years.#[ yelan: etc. ] every round of finger-guessing is a tiny adventure; and every roll of dice sends sporadic thrills down her spine.#[ yelan: liyue. ] liyue will never plunge into disaster without clue of the danger like it once did. she will see that it is not unprepared#[ yelan: home. ] i'm guessing you've fallen for the rumors about me being very wealthy; having high demands for my standards of living?#[ yelan: yanshang. ] the teahouse has really brightened up after the boss took over and kicked the fatui and gamblers out.#[ yelan: lantern rite. ] every year on this day; the lanterns light up the night. may the fire never die and may humanity endure.#[ yelan: chasm. ] perhaps she will plunge into that darkness one day; and the ill fate that once befell her ancestors shall find her too.#[ yelan: scope. ] i serve ningguang. the tianquan of the qixing. the scope of my work includes some of liyue's biggest secrets.#[ yelan: weaponry. ] water. divided it is as streams uncounted: close yet untangled. united it is as a giant wave: inexorable; unstoppable.#[ yelan: wriothesley. ] don't fight over fleeting gains or losses. focus on where your heart is leading you and move forward. [ delusionaid#[ yelan: uncle tian. ] there's nothing wrong with wanting to win other people's respect. but when has uncle tian looked down on anyone?#[ yelan: ningguang. ] we both made a mistake: we shouldn't have involved ordinary folk in what we do. / ordinary folk?#[ yelan: xiao. ] you think you're oh-so cold and ruthless. i'm not buying it. - losing one of us so the rest can escape? some victory that#[ yelan: keqing. ] if something happens that they didn't anticipate; it throws their plans into oblivion. but the yuheng is different.#[ yelan: ganyu. ] i could never work non-stop like she does. certainly not at that level of efficiency. i guess being half-adeptus has its#[ yelan: yanfei. ] when i help her out; i always get some invaluable leads in return. gotta say though: i think she respects me a little mu#[ yelan: traveler. ] you don't have to be on guard around me. i never scheme against people who have my stamp of approval.#[ yelan: v. youth. ] you're still young. be patient. believe in yourself; and don't look outside yourself to prove your value.#[ yelan: v. pre-qixing. ] i don't do these things to help the powerful or mighty get rid of dissident forces. but because water too has a s#[ yelan: v. qixing. ] seeing isn't always believing. and if you can't trust your eyes; you certainly can't trust rumors.#[ yelan: meta. ] the chances are if i open this door; there can be no witnesses left alive. is that a sufficient reason for you?
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tlcartist · 2 years ago
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Had a conversation with my mom re: the possibility that the largest lake in our state is going to dry up and create an ecological disaster due to climate change and, while I don't necessarily think that she meant it, she said the thing that the older generation feels whenever the topic of climate change comes up.
"Well I'm going to die anyway"
And it's not that my mom doesn't believe in climate change. It's that she's a defeatist. I called her out and was like, hey, yeah you're going to die but what about the rest of us?? To which she responded that we probably have 5 years. Me. A 32 year old. I only have 5 years. You're dooming all younger generations because you feel like we've already passed the point of no return so why bother? It just makes me sad. Like the idea of leaving the world better than how you found it doesn't exist because you don't believe that humanity will even be around.
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cutiepieautistic · 2 years ago
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I'm no ornithologist, but i feel like every chicken deserves a wide,open space with plenty of safe areas to move around in and play (mess around with puzzles,that sort of thing. they probably need a lot of mental stimulation too! ) and eat so they don't get over crowded, and safe spots to retreat to when they need to calm down or mate and roost/nest(i mean, i know chicken sex is probably weird like it is with most birds, but i feel like they would appreciate the privacy and safety. I've been around plenty of chickens. they're generally sensitive animals that deserve more respect.), or be quarantined if they've come down with something or have been injured. they seem to do much better that way,their quality of life seems to improve greatly in captivity when people practice better husbandry with them. of course, different variants of chickens have different needs I'm sure, but it's something I've observed often. birds deserve so much better than to have their intelligence be undermined and be treated like shit,which is unfortunately rather common in today's world.
#text#idk man i just really fucking love birds. i love them even if they hurt me. they probably don't understand#besides they usually only hurt people if you accidentally startle them or if it's how they play or they're not socialized properly#they need to be more accustomed to people and physical affection#and sometimes animals just weren't meant to be petted or hugged or kissed and we should respect their boundries.#how would you like it if a big scary weird looking thing did that to you? you probably would be just as freaked out.#imagine being in their shoes. i would be fucking terrified if i were a bird or somd other nonhuman animal and a human touched me#I've been hurt like once or twice by q bird because they both didn't understand how sharp their talons are and how that hurts me#when they perch or hold my fingers. they don't do it on purpose lol#you know how lizards will grab onto your fingers but not exactly sit on you? that's what it's like. it's like he's shaking my hands.#there's my neighbor's bird kai and them there's little foot.#kai likes to hold my hands.#little foot like to perch on me. he's less rude but a bit more shy. kai REALLY likes me#sorry for the typos as always I'm still blind and have poor motor control so typing and reading is hard for me. whoops#long post#ramble#like why can't we all treat animals better and as the unique gifts from nature to be preserved and loved like they are? why not try better?#they deserve to be raised and die humanely and be protected in the wild from manmade natural disasters and just left to do their own thing.#be nice to nature or it won't be nice to you. you know what i mean?#do y'all ever cry thinking about animals. i do. a lot#they're so precious man.#no RB'S for this one because i feel like people would be weird or mean about this lol
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unknownersirius · 2 months ago
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Spoke to my idol the other day.
#sirius is rambling again#text post#it's odd#i'd have thought they were just as inaccessible as the others#but they were weirdly chatty and i felt like if i pushed too much they'd grow disinterested#so i kind of gave them a cut-off reply#online of course i don't have irl idols#i know everyone is human and putting people on a pedastel is a recipe for disaster#but i really admired them a lot from afar and figured i'd throw some words of encouragement at them when they were feeling a bit unsure#of themselves#kind of happened on pixiv as well#i thought the language barrier would make it so that i wouldn't be able to communicate with them#but it seems everyone and their mom is bilingual (except me)#and they responded with enthusiasm#it's so strange to me#i keep thinking that i'm basically spunk under a pipe#yet i get humored every now and then by people whose talents i respect#i don't know whether to feel encouraged or somewhat offput#part of me wants or expects my idols to be stuck-up assholes as my childhood idols had been#you know - the ones that would make fun of you for being unsure#but i think every art idol i managed to speak to thus far has been weirdly nice to me specifically#not to say they weren't assholes or groomers or something heinous of the sort#i hope i am not anyone's idol#i had been told that i was in the past and it was a weird responsibility to bear#because it makes the weight of your words multiply#i almost didn't want them to see me as a human or that i made mistakes#so that i could give them some sort of stable footing y'know?#but that was in the apst and they don't even spare me a second thought these days#due to barriers#i wonder if making new accounts like this is how i escape from commitment
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beemovieerotica · 8 months ago
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struggling with how to word this, but putting it out there anyway:
i can fully understand the posts on here from a lot of americans being tired of "vote blue no matter who" posts when the #1 thing that people are constantly (and sometimes only?) addressing is how the republican party is going treat trans/queer people if elected.
it's part of an unfortunate pattern of prioritizing the effects on a demographic that includes white + upper class people, when people of color and those in the global south are actively and currently being killed or relegated to circumstances in which their survival is very unlikely
it is genuinely exhausting to witness this, and i was also on the fence about even participating in voting because i a) felt like it didn't matter and b) every time i voiced being frustrated with the current state of the country, white queer people would immediately step in with "but what about trans people!" -> (i am mixed race trans man)
and i say this with unending patience toward people who do this, because i know that it's not something they actively think about. but everyone already knows how the republican party is going to treat queer people. you are probably talking to another queer person when you bring up project 2025. the issue is that, for those of us who aren't white, or for those of us who are but who are conscious of ongoing struggles for people of color worldwide, the safety of people around the world feels more urgent than our own. that is the calculation that's being made.
you're not going to win votes for the democratic party by dismissing or minimizing these realities and by continually centering (white) queer people.
very few people on here and twitter are actually talking about issues beyond queer rights that concern people of color, or how the two administrations differ on these issues instead of constantly circling back to single-issue politics. this isn't an exhaustive list. but these are the issues that have actually altered my perspective and motivated me to the point of committing to casting a vote
the biden administration has been engaged in a years-long fight to allow new applicants to DACA (Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals, the program that allows undocumented individuals who arrived as children to remain in the country) after the Trump administration attempted to terminate it. the program is in limbo currently because of the actions of Trump-backed judges, with those who applied before the ruling being allowed to stay, but no new applications are being processed. Trump has repeatedly toyed with the idea of just deporting the 1.8 million people, but he continues to change his mind depending on whatever the fuck goes on in his head. he cannot be relied on to be sympathetic toward people of hispanic descent or to guarantee that DREAMers will be allowed stay in the country. biden + a democratic controlled congress will allow legal challenges to the DACA moratorium to gain ground.
the biden administration is open to returning and protecting portions of culturally important indigenous land in a way that the trump administration absolutely does not give a fuck. as of may 2024, they have established seven national monuments with plans to expand the San Gabriel Monument where the Gabrielino, Kizh / Tongva, the Chumash, Kitanemuk, Serrano, and Tataviam reside. the Berryessa Snow Mountain is also on the list, as a sacred region to the Patwin.
i'm recognizing that the US's plans for clean energy have often come into conflict with tribal sovereignty, and the biden administration could absolutely do better in navigating this. but the unfortunate dichotomy is that there would be zero commitment or investment in clean energy under a trump-led government, which poses an astounding existential threat and destabilizing force to the global south beyond any human-to-human conflict. climate change has caused and will continue to cause resource shortages, greater natural disasters, and near-lethal living conditions for those in the tropics - and the actions of the highest energy consumers (US) are to blame. biden has funneled billions of dollars into climate change mitigation and clean energy generation - trump does not believe that any of it matters.
i may circle back to this and add more as it comes up, but i'm hoping that those who are skeptical / discouraged / tired of the white queer-centric discourse on tumblr and twitter can at least process some of this. please feel free to add more articles + points but i'm asking for the sake of this post to please focus on issues that affect people of color.
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rossithepixie · 7 months ago
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-head in hands-
I am Kaveh and Kaveh is me. Our personality types are literally only 1 off from eachother with mine being introverted and his being extroverted. (And i don't drink)
But i just went through his dialogue where you ask him if you can commission him to build you a house at the end of your journey and he tries to tell you that all he needs is your happiness.
i have on multiple occasions tried to draw art for free for friends only for them to insist on paying me for my work. I have since opened actual commissions (in part because it showed me that people do value my work enough to pay for it)
lord we were both even raised by single mom's who were artists and instilled a love of art but now have moved on with their own lives. Kaveh please go to therapy it's helped me be at least a little more normal
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reasonsforhope · 4 months ago
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This is kind of a weird reason for hope, honestly, but it genuinely changed how I think about catastrophe.
Historical fact that you probably do not know:
At least 30-50% of the population of Pompeii survived.
Maybe even the majority of the people of Pompeii survived.
(The numbers 30-50% there are according Professor J. Theodore Peña, a professor of ancient Roman archeology who studies Pompeii, whom I took a class on Pompeii with in 2018. The numbers of "maybe even the majority" are from articles linked below.)
Yes, that Pompeii, the one where the entire city was swallowed by a volcanic eruption.
And no, I'm not kidding. x, x, x, x, x, x
So how this is possible, that anyone could survive, when the entire city was literally buried in volcanic ash? And the answer is that the eruption actually took place over the course of almost 24 hours, as the earthquakes and clouds of smoke emitting from Pompeii gradually got worse and worse, followed by the ejection of ash and giant stones that gradually escalated, until the fifth pyroclastic flow (aka giant wave of searing hot ash) hit the city.
So, people had a bit less than 24 hours to flee the city. And many of them did, whether by boat or cart or horse or foot. And many of them made it.
Pompeii is the iconic, ultimate example we have, culturally, for a natural disaster that causes complete annihilation.
But it never caused complete annihilation at all. Not of the people who lived there.
I think climate change, ultimately, is going to be like Pompeii. Yes, there will be natural disasters. Yes, it will keep getting worse for a while.
Yes, people will die, and yes, we do need to act fast, and we need to do all that we can to save every single living being that we can.
But unlike the people of Pompeii, we have the ability to fix most of the effects of climate change. We have the ability to cool the planet down from whatever temperature it ultimately hits. (Masterpost on this here.)
Natural disasters fucking suck. But as the true story of Pompeii exemplifies, they are often a lot more survivable than we think. And we have benefits and resources and technology and knowledge above all communication that the people of Pompeii never did - in fact, we're getting so good at building for and detecting and warning for natural disasters that the number of people dying from natural disasters has been plummeting, even as natural disasters are getting worse and worse (x).
We are going to survive climate change (x). We are going to fix as much of it as we can (x). And we are going to rebuild afterward.
Because as the many survivors of Pompeii show, that's what humans do.
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possumkingluca · 1 year ago
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this is what the spotify wrapped of a neurotypical, mentally well, and cishet person looks like what are you talking about
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thekitsunesiren · 1 year ago
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Dc x Dp #46
"I'm transferring you all to another branch to focus on your teamwork." Batman announced to the Young Justice League out of nowhere.
The news surprised the whole group. They've been together for quite sometime and had gotten alone just fine. Sure, they had disagreements here and there, but that wasn't enough for them to need more training, was it?
"We've been officially working together for a long time. Why do we need teamwork training now?" Robin asked, being brave enough to talk to the well feared vigilante that many were fearful to speak against.
Batman said nothing as he scrolled through the tablet in hand, obviously searching for something.
"Because you still have problems with your teamwork. You need the help of another team your age to get a better view point of what you're doing wrong. And hopefully you'll be able to learn about the different type of enemies
"Wait, wait, wait! Our age? You mean there's another team that we didn't know about?" Kid Flash asked, the news obviously being a surprise to him.
This news was a surprise to everyone in the group. All of them thought that they were the only young heroes that worked under the Justice League.
Finding what he was looking for, Batman opened a file and the team looked at the large photo that appeared on the screen. The photo contained four teens, just around their age if not older or younger.
One was a black teen with a red beanie, and Robin was surprised to see the bulky tech in his hands that he was using. What kind of outdated tech was this team using?
Next to him was a goth looking girl with raven black hair wearing a black short with a black and green plaid skirt. Her face was concentrated into a stern glare that gave Wally the shivers. The gun that she held in her hand didn't help either.
There was another girl as well. Her black hair down and resting against her shoulders. Said shoulders and the rest of her body covered by a black and red suit with a hoverboard against her feet and another strange weapon in her hand. A gun maybe? Red Arrow was curious to see her aim when moving on that board.
And the last kid wasn't standing. He was floating. With snow white hair and green eyes that seemed to glow everytime they looked at the photo. He looked to be around the same age as the other three, but he wore a black jumpsuit with white boots, gloves, and belt. On his belt rested a thermos? Superboy didn't see how such a scrawny thing could be of any threat.
One thing was similar was that how all of the humans eyes seemed to glow. Almost as bright as the- metas'? Aliens? -did.
"These are the members of Young Justice: Dark. They have been under the Leagues employment for three months, but they've been working on their own for almost two years and managed to stop several world ending disasters dealing with the supernatural."
The statement from Batman shocked the team. Them? On their own for two years fighting against the supernatural? Surely he was joking?!
"But-how? We've never heard of them, and they were world ending, we should've known about it." Robin argued.
"Because they've never left the threats leave their town." Came Batmans clipped reply. "There have been a few close calls, but all of them have been handled. As for why the League wasn't aware, there was interference that stopped the League from knowing about Amity Park. This is the team that took our place."
This was the team? Two years unsupervised against supernatural threats that they didn't know about and they still remained uncovered? Just how strong was this team?
"I'm assigning your next mission to work under them. For the time being they will be your superiors and you will follow their instructions if you come into contact with any enemy. Do not go against their orders or else it will be dire. With this, you will learn about threats stronger than you have faced and better yourselves as a team. Do not mess this up."
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yaniluvs · 12 days ago
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a song , that sounds like you
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[ 한 ] ✷ ‎. . sleepover with your best friend, just like before. except that . . it isn't ?
۫ 𖨂 𓈒 𝑏sf!han ₊ ‎ ‎ 𝑓em!reader ˙ . ꒷ g. fluff , humour , crack , best friends to lovers , uni au , skz ensemble . 71OOw. ⎯⎯⎯ LiBRARY ⟢ cw. kisses , jokes , intimacy . ┆ 💌 ⋮ requested drabble .ᐟ ֹ ₊
yani's note 𑁍ࠬܓ THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE ~I.5K WORDS. yani, dont over-write and turn every simple thing into a longfic challenge: go-> status: failed. THATS WHY I TOOK SO LONG. but anyways.... i read this like a gazillion times and im very slightly unhappy about it????? idk. but i got sick of it at some point so i didnt rly proofread for the final time. soooo finally another jisung fic lol >< posted way too much abt seungmo.. not that im complaining hehe. tribute to my beloved permed-jisung and pre-shaved jisung🙏 you're missed plenty. enjoy reading, thanks to anon for the req. <3 comments, likes, req./asks and reblogs are always appreciated !! send in a reply or an ask if you want to be in my mastertag, or my individual series' taglists. happy reading, love <3
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the night felt like any other. it was nothing new. nothing unusual.
jisung had crashed at y/n’s dorm more times than he could count, so many that they’d stopped calling it a "sleepover" years ago. it was just… what they did.
tonight was no different—except maybe it was.
jisung flopped onto her bed dramatically, limbs splayed out like a starfish. "i'm dying."
y/n, arms crossed, raised an unimpressed brow. "you literally just walked in."
"my point." he turned his head toward her, grinning wide, dimples pressing into his cheeks. "the walk from my dorm to yours? brutal. my legs almost gave up. i nearly saw the light. i need some support here,"
"what you need is exercise, ji," she laughed, already walking past him toward the kitchen. "come on lazy ass, we’re cooking."
jisung groaned, rolling onto his stomach. "cooking? can’t we order food? delivery is, like, the peak of human civilization."
"you mean the peak of your laziness."
"same thing."
"you’re cooking today."
jisung immediately sat up. "i’m sorry, what?"
"you heard me."
"y/n, have you ever seen me successfully make anything that isn’t watered-down instant ramen or burnt eggs?"
"exactly why you need to learn." she shot him a knowing smile, opening the fridge. "come on, chef-nim, apron up."
jisung scoffed. "you act like i own an apron."
"you act like i don't have a spare." she tossed a black apron his way. he caught it with a dramatic sigh, slipping it over his tee. "this is humiliating."
y/n simply tied her own apron around her waist, moving swiftly around the kitchen. jisung, however, stood in the middle of it like he was lost in a foreign land.
"so," he said, rocking on his heels, "what are we making, masterchef?"
"some fried rice, with stir-fry for the sides."
"sounds safe enough. do i get a knife?" his eyes lightened up.
y/n turned to him, eyes full of doubt, hands on her hips. "do i look like i trust you with a knife?"
he clutched his chest. "ouch."
"jisung, the last time you touched a knife, you almost lost a finger."
"it was one time!"
"one time too many." she handed him a bowl instead. "crack the eggs."
"i can do that," he said confidently.
y/n watched as he picked up an egg, tapped it on the edge of the bowl—nothing. he hit it again. still intact.
"jisung."
"hold on, it's just being stubborn."
"you're literally supposed to—"
before she could finish, he smacked the egg with full force. it exploded in his hand, yolk dripping between his fingers. he blinked.
"…okay. that was aggressive."
y/n burst out laughing. "oh, good lord.."
"why are you laughing?! this is tragic!" he held up his hand dramatically, as if he'd just lost a battle.
she wiped away tears of laughter. "you’re such a disaster."
"and yet you still keep me around."
"i really question why, sometimes."
jisung wiggled his eyebrows. "because you love me."
"debatable."
"wow. you wound me."
she handed him another egg. "try again, but gently this time."
he pouted but followed her instructions. on the second try, he succeeded. barely. a little bit of shell fell into the bowl, but he picked it out quickly, flashing her a victorious grin.
"see? improvement."
y/n shook her head with a fond smile. "barely."
as she moved on to frying the rice, jisung leaned against the counter, watching her. the warm glow of the kitchen lights softened her features, and the way she effortlessly moved around—it was second nature to her.
"you're so good at this," he murmured absentmindedly.
she glanced up. "at what?"
"everything," he said simply.
her movements stilled for a second before she rolled her eyes, turning back to the pan. "corny."
"honest."
she pushed his forehead lightly with her fingers. "shut up and hand me the soy sauce."
jisung grinned, grabbing the bottle and sliding it over the counter toward her. "see? i am useful."
"debatable."
jisung gasped. "you really enjoy hurting me, huh?"
y/n only smiled as she stirred the rice.
they fell into a comfortable silence after that—jisung humming some random tune, y/n focusing on the food. it was normal. routine. nothing new.
except maybe it was.
because jisung found himself staring at her a little longer than usual.
and yn, for some reason, felt a little warmer than the stove’s heat should allow.
the aroma of warm rice, sizzling kimchi, and soy sauce had filled the small dorm, wrapping them in the kind of comfort that only home-cooked food could bring. y/n hummed softly as she scooped the steaming fried rice onto two plates, making sure to add an extra spoonful to her best friend's because she already knew he’d ask.
jisung, sprawled out on the floor like he had no bones in his body, watched her with a lazy grin. "you really know how to treat a man."
"you’re more of a babygirl, but okay," she replied without missing a beat, setting the plates down on the small coffee table in front of them.
"excuse me? i am very much a grown adult."
"sure," she snorted. "a grown adult who can't crack an egg."
jisung gasped, pressing a hand to his chest. "low blow."
yn only grinned as she grabbed the remote, flipping on the tv. they didn't even bother picking something to watch—just let some random show play in the background while she scrolled through a playlist on her phone.
and just like that, the room filled with their favorite songs.
the playlist hummed in the background, weaving through the warm, dimly lit dorm like a familiar embrace. soft indie melodies blended into old tracks from their high school days, each song a quiet echo of late-night car rides and whispered confessions. nestled between them were jisung’s own songs—songs he had written on restless nights, songs y/n had begged him to release, songs he pretended not to care about being in the playlist but secretly loved seeing there.
the air smelled of soy sauce and garlic. jisung sat cross-legged on the couch, his loose shirt and plaid pajama pants slightly wrinkled. his fluffy brown hair that he'd recently gotten permed, much to y/n's pleading, was tousled, curls falling over his forehead, casting soft shadows over his sleepy eyes. he scooped up a bite of fried rice, humming in approval as he chewed, blissfully unaware of the way y/n was watching him.
she sat on the floor, knees pulled to her chest, chin resting lazily against them, gaze fixed on him with a softness even she didn’t notice. he looked so at home, so effortlessly him, sitting there with his cheeks puffed out from the food she made, eyes drooping slightly from exhaustion. a small smile tugged at the corners of her lips.
he always ate with the enthusiasm of someone who hadn’t had a proper meal in days, shoveling food into his mouth like it was the best thing he’d ever tasted.
“you’re staring,” his voice came, teasing yet laced with fondness.
y/n blinked, heat creeping up her neck as she quickly looked away. “i am not.”
jisung grinned, swallowing another bite. “liar.”
but he didn’t press further. he only smirked to himself, going back to his food, pretending he didn’t notice the way she studied him when she thought he wasn’t looking.
what he wouldn’t admit—what he barely admitted to himself—was that he did the same thing.
when y/n wasn’t paying attention, lost in the flickering candlelight of their tiny dorm, jisung found himself staring. he always did. the glow of the fairy lights made her skin look softer, her features delicate and warm. her hair, slightly messy from their earlier chaos in the kitchen, framed her face in a way that made his heart ache.
she was wearing her pyjama set, and the sleeves were bunched up around her fists as she absentmindedly traced circles against the couch cushion, after a bite herself.
she was beautiful. in the quiet, in the soft spaces between their banter, in the way she existed in his world so effortlessly.
“now,” she called out suddenly, breaking him from his trance. “you’re staring.”
his breath caught in his throat, but he recovered quickly, flashing his usual cheeky grin. “i am not.”
“liar.”
their laughter mingled with the music, and for a moment, the weight of their hidden feelings melted into the warmth of the night.
jisung exhaled through his nose, shaking his head as he shoved another spoonful of rice into his mouth. he chewed slowly, eyes flickering between the half-empty plate and y/n, her expression unreadable except for the teasing glint in her gaze. his own voice filtered through the small dorm, warm and unfiltered, singing lyrics he once scribbled down at 2 a.m., never expecting them to be heard by anyone but himself.
he swallowed, running his tongue over his bottom lip before muttering, “you do this on purpose.”
y/n tilted her head, feigning confusion as she picked at her food. “do what?”
“this.” he gestured vaguely toward the speaker, his voice quieter now, almost sheepish. “make me listen to myself.”
she shrugged, stuffing another bite of rice into her mouth like it was the most natural thing in the world. “your music is good.”
jisung let out a small, breathy laugh, but there was something uncertain in the way his fingers tapped against the bowl. “you don’t have to lie to make me feel better, you know.”
y/n blinked, chopsticks pausing midair. “i’m not lying.”
“you say that.” he glanced at her, then away, focusing on a loose thread on his pajama pants. “but you’re my best friend. you’d tell me it’s good even if it wasn’t.”
she frowned, setting her chopsticks down with a soft clink against the ceramic. “sung..”
he didn’t respond, just stuffed another bite into his mouth, chewing like he was trying to make himself busy. y/n sighed, shifting so she could look at him properly. the glow of the fairy lights cast gentle shadows on his face, highlighting the quiet vulnerability in his eyes—the kind he tried so hard to hide.
“look,” she started, voice softer now. “i don’t put your songs in our playlists just because you’re my best friend. i put them there because they belong there.”
jisung stilled, fingers tightening around his spoon.
“you write music that makes people feel something. i know because i feel it. i always have.” she toyed with the hem of her top. “and maybe it’s because i’ve seen you go through every stage of it. the late nights, the self-doubt, the way you talk about music like it’s the only thing that makes sense in your life sometimes.”
he swallowed thickly, staring at his plate like it held answers.
“i don’t just like your music, jisung. i believe in it. i believe in you.”
silence settled between them, thick and heavy, but not uncomfortable. jisung’s throat bobbed as he licked his lips, finally daring to meet her gaze.
something unreadable flickered in his eyes, something fragile and hesitant and real.
“…you always say things like that.” his voice was quiet, uncertain. “and i never know what to do with it.”
y/n smiled, small and knowing. “you don’t have to do anything. just don’t forget it.”
he stared at her for a moment longer, chest tightening with something he didn’t quite have the courage to name. then, exhaling softly, he looked away, a ghost of a smile tugging at his lips.
“i won’t.”
they ate comfortably, stealing bites from each other's plates despite having the exact same food. it was normal, the way their chopsticks clinked against each other in midair, the way jisung would groan dramatically after every bite, acting as if he’d just tasted the best thing in the world.
"marry me," he said, mouth full.
y/n gave him a look. "chew first."
he swallowed, grinning. "okay, now will you marry me?"
"no."
jisung clutched his chest. "you are cruel, woman."
"you are an idiot, man."
"a lovable idiot," he corrected, shoving another spoonful into his mouth.
she rolled her eyes but didn't deny it.
a beat of silence passed between them, the kind that wasn't awkward but rather filled with something unspoken. jisung glanced at her between bites, again, watching the way the light from the tv flickered against her skin.
she looked… soft. comfortable. the same as always, but maybe not quite.
"so," y/n spoke suddenly, breaking him out of his thoughts. "how was your day?"
jisung blinked, needing a second to process the question. they spent most of their time together, but during classes, they went their separate ways. it was rare for them to actually talk about what happened when they weren't in the same place.
"uh," he started, stabbing his rice absentmindedly. "it was fine. boring. had a music composition lecture, but hyunjin fell asleep and snored loud enough for the whole class to hear."
y/n laughed. "no way."
"swear to god. professor park just stared at him for a solid minute before moving on."
"did no one wake him up?"
"i tried, but he swatted me away like a fly."
she shook her head, still laughing. "what else?"
jisung hesitated for a moment before answering, "i worked on a song between classes."
her expression softened. "the one you told me about?"
"yeah." he looked away, suddenly a little shy. "i, uh, actually finished the demo."
"jisung!" she smacked his arm lightly. "why didn't you tell me sooner?"
"i dunno," he muttered, playing with his chopsticks. "didn’t seem important."
"of course it’s important," she said firmly. "can i hear it?"
he met her eyes, something flickering behind his own, before he looked down again. "maybe later."
she didn't push, just nodded. "okay. your turn to ask."
he raised a brow. "ask what?"
"about my day, genius."
"oh. right." he leaned back, lazily twirling his chopsticks. "so, how was your day, my dear best friend whom i love and adore?"
she snorted. "it was fine. boring, mostly. but i had this duo project in business class."
jisung hummed in acknowledgment, taking another bite. "who’d you get stuck with?"
"a guy named sunwoo."
jisung froze mid-chew, his spoon hovering just inches from his lips. his brows furrowed for the briefest second before he blinked and forced himself to keep chewing, though suddenly, the fried rice didn’t taste as good anymore.
“i see..” he said after swallowing, voice casual. too casual. “never heard you mention him before.”
y/n shrugged, taking another bite. “yeah, we never really talked until today. he’s nice, though. smart, too. i was kinda worried i’d get stuck doing all the work, but he actually pulled his weight.”
jisung scoffed lightly, poking at his food. “that’s the bare minimum.”
she snorted. “true.”
silence stretched for a beat, the playlist shuffling to another song. jisung tapped his chopsticks against the edge of his bowl, trying to ignore the weird feeling curling in his stomach. it wasn’t a big deal. just a project partner. nothing to think about.
except—
“he was pretty talkative, too,” y/n continued, oblivious to the way jisung’s grip on his spoon tightened. “like, at first, it was just about the project, but then he started asking me random stuff. like, my favorite color, what i do in my free time, my favorite coffee order—”
jisung let out a short, almost incredulous laugh. “your coffee order? what, is he planning on getting you one next time?”
she blinked, considering. “i dunno, maybe. that’d be nice.”
jisung nearly choked on air. he coughed into his fist, shaking his head. “pfft. wow. sounds like he’s… really interested in your business skills.”
y/n laughed at that, nudging his leg with her foot. “oh, shut up. he was just being friendly.”
yeah, okay. sure.
he forced a grin, shoveling another bite of rice into his mouth like it would somehow get rid of the weird, nagging feeling inside him. “so, what else did he say?” he asked, tone still light, still playful. still pretending he didn’t care.
y/n hummed, thinking. “oh, he told me i have a really nice smile.”
jisung almost dropped his chopsticks.
“oh! and that i have pretty hands,” she added, wiggling her fingers in front of his face. “which is funny, ‘cause i don’t really get the whole hand thing, but—”
“he said what?” jisung cut in, voice cracking slightly.
she blinked up at him, confused. “...that i have pretty hands?”
jisung squinted at her like she was missing something obvious. “who compliments someone’s hands?”
“i don’t know! i mean, i guess they’re kinda nice…” she examined her own fingers, flexing them under the fairy lights. “they do a lot for me, you know? writing, playing, cooking—”
“okay, but still,” jisung interjected, trying not to sound too whiny. “that’s like—textbook flirting.”
y/n snorted. “no, it’s not.”
“yes, it is!” jisung threw his hands up. “first, he asks about your coffee order—classic move, by the way—then he calls your smile nice? and now your hands?” he pointed a dramatic chopstick at her. “that’s next-level, y/n. that’s, like, hand-holding agenda.”
she gave him a flat look. “i think you’re overreacting. personally i'd love making friends like that.” she laughed.
“no, you’re underreacting!” he groaned dramatically, flopping onto the couch, staring at the ceiling like it personally offended him. “i can’t believe this. my best friend is so oblivious.”
y/n just giggled, poking his knee. “oh, come on, ji. he was just being nice. and it’s not like i’m interested in him or anything.”
jisung perked up at that, a little too quickly. “you’re not?”
she shook her head, stuffing another bite of rice into her mouth. “nope.”
something unspoken settled in the air.
jisung let out a quiet breath, something inside him easing—but he still had an annoyed little pout on his lips. “still. he was flirting. you just don’t see it ‘cause you’re you.”
“hey, what’s that supposed to mean?”
“it means,” he huffed, crossing his arms, “that you’re too cute for your own good, and guys like him are gonna keep trying to hit on you while you remain completely, utterly unaware.”
y/n blinked, caught off guard.
jisung realized what he said half a second too late. his ears turned pink.
“…anyway!” he cleared his throat, suddenly stuffing his mouth with rice. “this is good fried rice. really, really good.”
y/n just watched him, something unreadable in her gaze. a small, knowing smile tugged at her lips.
“dork,” she muttered under her breath.
and if jisung, in his flustered state, caught the way she was staring at him now—soft, fond, admiring—he didn’t say a word.
"sunwoo. what kind of dumb name is that?"
she laughed, shaking her head.
soon, the food disappeared slowly between them, the plates scraping softly as y/n absentmindedly pushed the last bits of rice around with her chopsticks. jisung, on the other hand, had long since finished and was now leaning back on his palms, his head tilted toward the ceiling, looking entirely too satisfied. he stretched with a deep sigh, his tee riding up slightly, revealing a sliver of skin before settling back down.
"i’m convinced you were a chef in a past life," he said, breaking the silence, his voice laced with a kind of sleepy contentment.
y/n smirked, still focused on her plate. "i’ll take that as a compliment."
"it is a compliment," he assured her, turning his head to face her. his cheek was slightly squished against his shoulder, making him look more like a sleepy puppy than a grown man. "i’m genuinely scared of what would happen to me if you weren’t around. i’d probably live off ramen and instant rice."
"you already do that when i’m not around. and still make it taste bad."
"exactly," he said, as if she had just proven his point. "my body is, like, seventy percent sodium at this point."
y/n rolled her eyes but couldn't help the small smile tugging at her lips. "that explains a lot, honestly."
jisung gasped dramatically. "are you saying i look like someone who eats too much sodium?"
"i’m saying your diet is concerning," she teased, finally setting her chopsticks down and leaning back as well. the food had settled warmly in her stomach, and the atmosphere felt hazy in the best way—soft, familiar, comfortable.
jisung groaned, letting his head fall back. "this is why i need you in my life. you balance out all my self-destructive tendencies."
y/n snorted, stretching out her legs. "i’m your best friend, not your dietitian."
"best friend and dietitian," he corrected lazily.
she hummed, letting the conversation drift into a natural lull. the tv played quietly in the background, an old sitcom neither of them was paying attention to, and their playlist continued to shuffle through songs they had both heard a thousand times before. outside, the city was alive, but in their small little bubble of a dorm, it felt like time had slowed down just for them.
jisung shifted, sitting up properly, and y/n could feel him staring before she even turned to look at him. "what?" she asked, raising a brow.
he hesitated, chewing on his bottom lip for a moment before finally saying, "i want you to be in my song."
the words were simple, casual even, but they made something in y/n’s chest tighten. she blinked. "what?"
"my demo," jisung clarified, his voice softer now, more careful. "i want you to sing in it."
yn let out a short laugh, shaking her head. "jisung, you know i don’t do that."
"why not?" he tilted his head, brows furrowing slightly. "you’re literally so good. like, so good."
she sighed, rubbing the back of her neck. "it’s just a hobby for me, you know that."
"okay, but why just a hobby?" his voice had that familiar edge of insistence, the same one he used when he really, really wanted something. "you could do so much more with it."
she shrugged, eyes flickering to the tv even though she wasn’t really watching. "it’s not the same for me as it is for you," she said honestly. "music is your thing, jisung. you breathe this stuff. it’s not like that for me."
"but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do it," he argued, leaning in slightly. "i love your voice, y/n. you know that."
she swallowed, feeling warmth crawl up her neck. he had told her that before—countless times, actually—but something about the way he said it now felt different, heavier. "it’s just not something i see myself doing seriously," she admitted, picking at a loose thread on her sleeve.
jisung was quiet for a moment, his eyes studying her face carefully. then, with a small, teasing smile, he said, "okay. but what if it’s just for me?"
she looked at him, confused. "what do you mean?"
"i mean," he started, tapping his fingers against his knee absentmindedly, "forget about, like, doing music professionally or whatever. i just want you on this song. not because i think you should be an artist or anything—just because it’s us. i dunno. i feel like it’d sound better if you were in it."
y/n bit her lip, uncertain. she liked singing, she always had, but she never really thought about it beyond the occasional harmonizing with jisung when he played guitar, or the times she mindlessly hummed while cooking. it was never something she considered putting out there for other people to hear.
jisung, however, was looking at her with those big, expectant eyes, his wide smile softened at the edges. "just think about it," he said, nudging her knee with his. "no pressure. but i think it’d be cool. i mean, imagine—our voices together in a song? legendary."
yn laughed, shaking her head. "you’re ridiculous."
"i’m right," he corrected.
she sighed, resting her chin on her palm. "i don’t know, ji."
he pouted, but there was no real disappointment in his face—just patience, quiet and steady. "i’ll send you the demo," he said after a beat. "just listen to it. see if you like it."
she nodded slowly. "fine. i’ll listen."
jisung grinned, victorious. "that’s all i ask."
another silence stretched between them, this one softer, almost charged in a way y/n couldn’t quite explain. the tv droned on in the background, but neither of them was paying attention.
jisung shifted again, stretching his legs out next to hers, their knees knocking slightly. he exhaled, tilting his head back against the couch. "i like nights like this," he murmured, his voice quieter now, almost like he was talking to himself.
yn turned to look at him, watching the way his lashes cast shadows on his cheekbones under the dim light. "like what?"
"just…chill." he cracked one eye open, looking at her. "you. me. food. music. no stress."
she smiled softly. "yeah. me too."
jisung hummed in acknowledgment, closing his eyes again. "we should do this more often."
y/n didn’t respond right away, letting the words settle between them. she thought about how much time they already spent together, how their days were filled with each other in some way or another.
and yet, something about the way he said it—like he wanted more, like he wasn’t just talking about casual hangouts but something deeper—made her stomach flutter in a way she didn’t entirely understand.
she swallowed, nudging his foot lightly with hers. "we already do this all the time, idiot."
jisung smiled, eyes still closed. "yeah. but i mean more."
y/n’s heart did something weird in her chest, but before she could dwell on it, jisung sat up suddenly, stretching his arms above his head. "anyway. we should clean around before the angry yunah gets back and starts lecturing us about leaving dishes out."
the moment was gone, dissipating like smoke, leaving yn slightly dazed in its wake.
she nodded, shaking off the strange warmth in her chest, pushing herself up as well.
"right. let’s clean up."
and just like that, the night continued, soft and slow, something unspoken lingering between them—unnoticed, or maybe just ignored.
. . .
the dishes had been washed, the leftovers tucked away, and the night stretched lazily ahead of them, the warm haze of comfort lingering in the air. the tv was still on, playing something neither of them was paying attention to, but y/n could feel the way the atmosphere had shifted—thicker, heavier, filled with something unsaid.
jisung sat on the floor again, back resting against the couch, his fingers absentmindedly drumming against his knee. now, his sleeves were pushed up to reveal his forearms, and his hair was messier now, some strands sticking out in different directions. he looked soft like this—less like the flirty, chaotic mess he usually was and more like the boy she had always known, the one who could say a million things with just a glance.
y/n sat across from him, legs crossed, arms draped over her knees as she studied him. she hesitated for a moment before saying, “play it for me.”
jisung blinked, caught off guard. “huh?”
“the song,” she clarified, shifting slightly. “i wanna hear it.”
he stared at her for a second before scoffing. “you never wanna hear my songs before they’re done.”
“um, wrong, you always reject to play them for me before they're done.” she pointed, trying to sound casual. “i feel like listening everytime. and tonight.”
“and my guitar is right here, so..” she laughed.
something flickered across jisung’s face—surprise, maybe, or something softer—but he didn’t question it. instead, he reached for her guitar, a brown one, which had burgundy, floral borders over its peaks and edges. it had been sitting next to the couch all night, like it had been waiting for the right moment.
he adjusted it on his lap, fingers finding the familiar curves of the wood, the smoothness of the strings beneath his touch. the way he handled just.. guitars had always fascinated her—not just with skill, but with love, like it was an extension of himself, a second voice that spoke when words weren’t enough.
y/n watched, her chin resting on her palm as she took in the tiny details she had seen a hundred times before but never really noticed—the way his brows furrowed in focus, the way his lips parted slightly as if he were already singing in his head, the way the warm light from the tv cast soft shadows across his face, accentuating the sharp line of his jaw, the slope of his nose, the fullness of his bottom lip.
he cleared his throat. “okay, but don’t judge, ‘cause it’s still rough.”
she rolled her eyes. “i never judge.”
he gave her a look, but it was softened by a small smile before he looked down at his guitar again. his fingers moved, the first chords filling the room—gentle, familiar, warm.
and then, he sang.
his voice was low at first, careful, like he was still unsure if he wanted to let her hear it. but as the melody flowed, he eased into it, his tone settling into that effortless, raspy sweetness that always made something deep in y/n’s chest ache.
she watched, completely entranced, as his eyes fluttered shut, lost in the song. the way his throat moved as he sang, the subtle shifts in his expression, the slight crease in his brow when he hit a note just right—it was all so undeniably han jisung, and it was beautiful.
she had heard him sing countless times before, but something about this was different. maybe because it was just the two of them, the world outside forgotten. or maybe because she was finally allowing herself to see him, really see him, in a way she hadn’t before.
his voice filled the room, smooth and raw all at once, laced with emotion that made her chest feel tight. and the lyrics—god, the lyrics.
it was soft, bittersweet, almost like a confession hidden within the melody. he sang about late nights and lingering glances, about feelings that hovered on the edge of something more, about someone who felt like home.
and y/n couldn’t help but wonder—who was it about?
her breath caught slightly as she watched him, taking in the way his lashes cast the faintest shadows on his cheeks, the way his fingers moved effortlessly over the strings, the way his lips curled slightly around certain words, like he meant them.
she felt something warm spread through her chest, something unfamiliar yet oddly comforting, like stepping into sunlight after days of rain.
when he finally strummed the last chord, the room settled into silence, save for the distant hum of the city outside.
jisung let out a breath, running a hand through his already messy hair. “so… what do you think?”
y/n was still staring. she realized it a second too late and quickly looked away, blinking. “it’s…” her voice felt stuck in her throat, so she cleared it, trying again. “it’s beautiful, ji.”
he smiled, looking down as if trying to hide how much her words affected him. “yeah?”
“yeah,” she said softly.
another silence settled between them, this one different from the ones before. it wasn’t awkward—it was thick, weighted with something neither of them dared to name.
jisung shifted slightly, leaning her guitar against the couch. his fingers tapped against his knee again, a nervous habit. “i meant what i said earlier.”
y/n tilted her head. “about what?”
“about you being in the song,” he said, his voice quieter now. “your voice would fit perfectly. you have this way of making things sound… real. i dunno how to explain it, but i think it’d be better if you were part of it.”
“i know you don’t take singing seriously, and you did say you'd listen to the actual demo.. oh which i know means a no, almost,” he cut in before she could refuse, “but just this once. just for this song.”
y/n exhaled, her fingers curling around the fabric of her sleeve. “why does it matter so much to you?”
jisung opened his mouth, then closed it, as if he was debating how honest he wanted to be.
finally, he shrugged. “because it’s us.”
her heart skipped.
“i mean, not us us,” he added quickly, looking away. “just… our voices. together. i think it’d be nice.”
y/n swallowed. “i don’t know if i’d be any good.”
“you would,” he said, no hesitation. “and i’d be with you the whole time. we’d do it together.”
together.
the word settled deep in her chest, warm and heavy.
she looked at him again, at the hopeful glint in his eyes, at the way he was watching her like she was something more than just his best friend.
and maybe, for the first time, she let herself wonder—what if she was?
she exhaled slowly, giving him a small, hesitant smile. “okay.”
jisung blinked. “okay?”
“i’ll do it,” she said, and his entire face lit up in that way it always did when he was really happy, the kind of smile that made her stomach flip in ways she didn’t fully understand.
“you won’t regret it,” he promised, excitement buzzing in his voice.
she wasn’t sure if that was true.
because something told her that once she sang with him, once their voices blended together in a song meant for something deeper—
there would be no going back.
and that terrified her more than anything.
. . .
sprawled out on jisung’s bed, surrounded by the soft hum of the laptop fan and the distant city sounds filtering through the window, y/n felt weightless. not in the way that meant floating away, but in the way that meant she was exactly where she was meant to be.
the air smelled faintly of fabric softener, of jisung’s vanilla-and-woodsy shampoo, of warmth. the blankets beneath them were slightly rumpled, evidence of a thousand previous sleepovers, tangled limbs, and late-night conversations that bled into early mornings. the glow from the laptop screen cast shifting patterns onto the walls, moving in time with the video they were watching.
it was their friend group’s latest dance cover, the kind they always hyped up in their group chat but never actually watched until they were together.
“look at hyunjin’s face,” jisung snickered, pointing at the screen as hyunjin executed a particularly dramatic spin, his expression intense. “bro thinks he’s in a movie.”
y/n burst into laughter, hiding her face in her hands. “no, because he so does that on purpose. you just know he was practicing in front of a mirror.”
“i bet he stared at himself for hours,” jisung agreed, shaking his head. “such a drama king.”
they continued watching, throwing in their own commentary as felix’s fluid movements took over the screen, followed by minho’s signature sharpness, yunah’s grace, and minseo’s precise footwork. their friends were insane, and as much as they teased, the admiration was real.
“minho-hyung’s on another level, though,” yn murmured, her head tilted slightly. “look at the way he controls his movements.”
jisung hummed in agreement. “yeah. he’s scary good.”
a comfortable silence settled between them, only the sound of the music playing through the laptop speakers filling the air. the bed dipped slightly where jisung had shifted, moving to lean on his elbow. yn could feel the shift in weight, the slight press of his arm against hers, the warmth of his body radiating closer than before.
she turned her head slightly—just a fraction—to look at him.
and that was when it happened.
something… shifted.
it was subtle, but it was undeniable. like a string pulled taut between them, an unspoken question hovering in the air.
jisung’s eyes were still on the screen, but his fingers had stopped absentmindedly tapping against the blanket. his jaw was relaxed, but his lips were slightly parted, like he had just thought of something he wasn’t sure if he wanted to say out loud.
the glow from the laptop flickered across his face, highlighting the curve of his cheek, the slope of his nose, the way his lashes cast delicate shadows against his skin. his hair, slightly messy from the way he had been lying down, fell softly over his forehead.
and then, as if he could feel her looking, his gaze flickered to hers.
it wasn’t immediate. it wasn’t rushed.
it was slow.
deliberate.
his eyes met hers, and for the first time in a long time, neither of them looked away.
the music in the background faded into something distant, something unimportant.
the flickering light, the sound of their breathing, the way the air seemed to press down on them—it all blended into something almost dreamlike.
jisung’s gaze dipped, just for a second, to her lips.
and y/n’s breath caught.
it wasn’t new, being this close. it wasn’t new, lying next to each other, watching something, talking about everything and nothing.
but this?
this was new.
this was different.
she could feel it in the way the space between them seemed to shrink, in the way her pulse thrummed in her ears, in the way jisung swallowed, his adam’s apple bobbing slightly.
his hand twitched—just barely—against the blanket.
and then, before she could even fully process it, he moved.
slow. hesitant. but sure.
his fingers brushed against hers, a touch so light it could have been mistaken for an accident. but neither of them moved away.
yn exhaled shakily, her heart a wild drum in her chest.
and then, suddenly—
their lips met.
soft at first. just a press—a quiet, unsure thing that barely lasted a second.
but then she leaned in.
and he did too.
and it wasn’t just a kiss anymore. it was something more.
jisung’s lips were warm, careful, but there was a hunger beneath it, something restrained, something that had been waiting far too long to be acknowledged. his fingers found her wrist, featherlight at first before gripping just slightly, grounding himself.
her hands curled into the fabric of his tee, and he let out a quiet exhale against her lips, like he couldn’t believe this was happening.
the laptop screen continued playing, casting shifting lights across their skin. the blanket beneath them was soft, but nothing—nothing—felt softer than this. than him.
he pulled away first, just enough to breathe, just enough to look at her.
his eyes searched hers, as if trying to understand what this meant.
as if asking, did we just cross the line?
but the thing was—
maybe there had never been a line in the first place.
maybe they had been here all along, just waiting for the right moment to realize it.
their breaths tangled in the space between them, warm and unsteady, still trembling with something unspoken. the moment felt like it stretched infinitely—long enough for y/n to take in the way jisung’s eyes flickered, dark pools of hesitation and something deeper, something unreadable.
his fingers, still curled loosely around her wrist, twitched, but he didn’t pull away.
the glow from the laptop continued to flicker, painting soft golds and muted blues across his face, across the fabric of his tee, across the slightly uneven threads of the blanket beneath them.
she felt warm.
not just from the shared heat between them, but from something in her chest, something that felt like a slow burn, like a realization creeping up on her.
jisung exhaled, his lips parting slightly as if to say something, but then he stopped.
she blinked at him, suddenly aware of the way her heart was still hammering. loudly. so loudly she swore he could hear it.
“…we just,” she said, as if confirming it to herself.
“kissed.”
jisung let out a breathy chuckle, rubbing the back of his neck. “yeah. yeah, we did.”
silence. not awkward, but charged.
y/n wet her lips, suddenly hyper-aware of the lingering sensation of his against hers. soft. he was soft.
then, jisung groaned, burying his face into the pillow. “oh my god. did i just ruin us?”
she blinked, before laughing softly. “you’re literally so dramatic.”
“i am not,” he mumbled into the fabric, voice muffled.
“you are. like, so dramatic. like—oscar-worthy dramatic.”
jisung lifted his head just enough to glare at her, though the way his nose scrunched up made it less intimidating. “okay, miss i-just-kissed-my-best-friend-and-now-i’m-still-here-for-some-reason—why are you not freaking out?”
y/n tilted her head. “do you want me to freak out?”
“no?” his lips quirked. “maybe?” he groaned again, flopping onto his back, staring at the ceiling like it held all the answers. “i just—wow, okay, so we really did just kiss. that happened.”
she rolled onto her side, propping herself up on her elbow, her fingers playing with the loose threads of the blanket. “do you regret it?”
jisung turned his head to look at her, and for a moment, he didn’t answer. he just looked.
his gaze trailed over the shape of her nose, the way her cheek was still slightly flushed, the way her hair had fallen over her shoulder, a few strands resting against her collarbone.
then, he whispered, “no.”
her breath hitched.
jisung swallowed, his adam’s apple bobbing slightly. “do you?”
a beat of silence.
“…no.”
another stretch of quiet, but this time, it was softer. like a shared secret, like something that no longer needed to be questioned.
then, jisung shifted, reaching up lazily, fingers brushing against the ends of her hair. “okay. so. now what?”
she huffed a small laugh, flopping back onto the pillows beside him. “i have no idea.”
“that makes two of us.”
they both stared at the ceiling for a long moment, the sound of the laptop’s fan whirring quietly in the background.
then—
jisung turned his head toward her again, watching the way her lips pursed slightly in thought, the way her fingers absentmindedly traced shapes onto the blanket.
slowly, carefully, he reached out, resting a hand against her arm. “can we—just. stay like this? for a bit?”
she turned toward him, eyes softening. then, instead of answering, she simply curled closer, letting herself nestle into his side, the fabric of his tee brushing against her cheek.
jisung let out a slow breath, his arm naturally slipping around her, his fingers resting against the dip of her waist.
she was warm.
he could feel her heartbeat, steady against his ribs, in sync with his own.
the scent of her shampoo filled his senses—something sweet, something vaguely floral, something hers.
the sound of their breathing intertwined with the faint music still playing from the laptop, a mix of their favorite songs.
jisung sighed, letting his cheek rest against the crown of her head. “you’re kinda dangerous, you know?”
yn hummed sleepily. “oh? why’s that?”
“because i don’t think i’ll ever want to sleep without you now.”
she smiled against his chest, eyes fluttering closed. “good thing i’m not going anywhere, then.”
and for the first time that night, jisung felt like maybe—just maybe—things had fallen into place exactly the way they were always meant to.
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