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jean-arclight · 5 years ago

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Helping Steven

Ok, so I know that we can only theorize that Steven can become corrupted and we can see many of both foreshadowing and theories on Steven corruption. However, I would like to talk about WHO will help Steven should he corrupt. Now how I am going about this is I��m gonna name the character and explain why they may either help in the process or how they may be the key in helping Steven.

Also one more note, most of the characters named have been helped by Steven so in a way, they all are returning their help. Anyways, let’s get to it.

1} The Crystal Gems

Let’s start off with some familiar characters.

Garnet was one of the first of the many character’s introduced in the series. She is more described as the leader of the crystal gems due to her leadership, calmness, and ability to see in the future (sapphire) and her strength, fierceness, and loyalty (ruby). However, we see that even Garnet can have her problems. She does have some doubts about herself such as thinking that she may seem that she might not care about the future due to her future sight and sometimes even getting to caught up in trying to see into the future to plan ahead in how to help. In a way, she’s too worried about what might happen in the future too worry about herself. This is where Steven comes in. Steven reminds Garnet that she shouldn’t worry about the future. That she should not worry at all. In other words, what happens happens. They’ll figure it out when it comes but we should be happy in the now moment. With this in mind, Garnet will help with Steven in helping him remind that they shouldn’t worry about the future. He’s worried that he might not be needed nor will he find that he is anything but useful. Garnet will be the one to remind him that the future is nothing we need to worry about and that we need to focus on the now.

Amethyst is maturity. Steven right now is so focused on being mature, as an adult. Amethyst, at the beginning, was really immature in a way. She acted like a child. She pulled pranks, caused mischief, and hardly ever listen. In a way, she’s Steven older sister. However, she slowly reveals why she acts the way she is. She’s feels unwanted, unneeded, not useful, and wondered why she was ever made. Once the others realize this, they try to change their ways which only caused more stressed. Steven, however, tries a different approach. He takes thing a bit slower. He shows that he needs Amethyst, that he accepts who she is despite her not being perfect. It especially shows their relationship when they fight Jasper before her corruption. With this, she shows that Steven is needed when he questions why he feels unneeded. She shows that it’s okay to still act childish as we all (even adults) have a child in us. That its okay to have fun every now and then.

Pearl can also be helpful in a way with feeling the need to serve another. I mean, she’s a pearl. They’re made to serve those who they’re made for. For Pearl, she served Pink Diamond for the first few thousands of years, then served Rose Quartz for the next thousands of year until Rose’s passing, and then lastly Steven. However, it was Steven who finally severed her servitude to anyone. He shows that she doesn’t need to serve anymore. That she should now focus on serving one person... herself. It’s okay to not serve, to not have to worry about that person, and to provide care for herself. Thus she shows to Steven that he doesn’t need to help anyone anymore. That he needs to start to practice self care now.

2} Connie

Connie is, in a way, Steven’s closest thing to humanity besides his father and the others on Beach City. Of course, with the recent leak, she may both be the cause for a possibly corrupted Steven (from her refusal of marrying him and also Steven taking it the wrong way and thinking that she doesn’t need him nor want him anymore) and the cure for Steven’s (again) possible corruption. From the beginning of the series, she has been by Steven’s side. His knight, much like Rose had Pearl. She went through what Steven had gone through, even as so much as carrying him when he couldn’t stand. In Hear comes a Thought, she had problems too. She is human and humans make mistakes. But Steven helped her through her mistakes, helped her learn to be her own person. To be independent. To be her own being, even this being said in the leak. (I want to be my own person). Steven is getting to a point where he doesn’t feel needed, to where he can’t live without the fear of something going wrong. That the only use for him was to be a protector for others. To be a shield, to be an entertainer, to be a therapist to others, to heal others, etc. He forgets that while he may be half gem, he is also half human. And as humans, we will eventually learn to be independent. That we will have to provide for ourselves. She will be the link in helping Steven find himself as he helped her find herself. She was “forced” to be someone else by her parents (not saying that her parents didn’t care about her but that sometimes when people want the best for their kids, that they need to take a step back to allow their kids to find themselves), she was a book worm and workaholic. Thus she was like a kid running on auto drive. She hardly had any friends nor family time and hardly ever made choices for herself. But Steven helped her with her problems by supporting her. Like helping her face her mom in wanting to fight and learn more about space, etc. or helping her not feel that much guilt in flipping a kid at school and help find a solution (just a few examples). She’ll help Steven calm down and eventually help him find hisself and become independent. Of course, she’ll have to go to college, but (hopefully) he’ll learn by then that it isn’t forever. She’ll be back and she’ll be with him on his path to recovery.

3} Greg

Ok, Greg is Steven’s second closest link to Humanity. He raised him, protected him, and tried his very best to support Steven as much as he could. Being a single father is hard, I know. My father (with the help from his side of the family) did his best to help raise me. It’s hard as I had no mother as did Steven as Rose left Steven. But me and Steven have one thing in common, we made a family. Steven will need Greg as Greg probably knows Steven the best (besides the Crystal Gems and Connie). Greg had hard times as well. His music “wasn’t” really successful (later given his rightful money he earn) and he lost his wife. But the thing that he does know humans can do, is move on. It’s hard, yes. But we have to keep going. Greg lost his wife, but not his son. Thus he’ll keep his act together a such as he can and will do what he can to support his son. He is successful. However, he stills has lots to teach to Steven in being an adult, mostly in moving on. Greg cut his precious hair, worked as much as could in the car wash, was injured (leg sprained, nearly injured from being pushed off a roof, etc.), kidnapped, etc. but despite all that he kept going on for his son. He support Steven as much as could even when he knew it was dangerous. HE had to trust his son to make decisions and despite him being protective, he had to move on as he knew his son was growing up, thus Steven had to learn how to make decisions for himself now. It’s all a part of growing up.

4} The Crystal Gems 2 (Lapis, Peridot, & Bismuth)

Lapis

Lapis is such a relative character that some people can agree on. Especially for some harsh relationships, and again with moving on. However Lapis had to take a lot of time to find a sense of peace and is working on building new relationships. She was hesitant on build relationships especially with people who are both new and were old enemies. She felt as if there was no one she could trust. Especially after that fusion with Jasper, she felt as if she needed it, despite all the abuse she was given and that she gave back. Even when trying to get along with Peridot and the Crystal Gems. She was hesitant. What if they try to force her to fuse? What if they poof her and bubble her or worse, trap her in a mirror? What if they betray me? What if I’m bad? She had all the right to be scared and hesitant, with all that she has been trough, how was she suppose to cope? She was scared. But Steven helped her see that all her fears and worries are just herself trying to cope. Steven helped release her from her prison. Steven helped healed her both physically and mentally. It took time and patience, but Steven was willing to wait for her and was willing to lend a hand when he could. Steven is in a situation where he believes that the people he trust the most as turning their backs. That they (again) don’t need him. That they are leaving because of him or are treating him the way he is, because he is useless. Lapis might help Steven in building relationships again. Yea, our friends will change, some will leave, some will turn enemies, and some will still treat you like a child. But the thing is to take time and let others come into your life when those who have hurt you, let them leave. It will hurt. It will leave you thinking that you did something wrong. But in order to cope, we need to build new relationships. Especially with those who know the same pains, those who won’t leave you, and those who will love you no matter what. Like Lapis did with Steven (helped teach her that things change and that you need time), Peridot (new relationships help bring a sense in belonging and helps cope with other relationships that may have hurt you), and the Crystal Gems (once enemies, can become friends if you give them the chance).

Peridot

Peridot, much like Amethyst, felt as if she was defective. That she needed the support the Diamonds once gave her. And like Pearl, that she needed to do everything that was need of those higher than her. She followed every rule. Rules are not meant to be broken. That’s what she was taught. However, spending time with Steven and the Crystal Gems, she was eventually taught that some rules are meant to be broken. Not all rules show that they are right. Some are justifiable but others are needed to be improved. Thus, once she slowly started to break her “rules”, she started to be the Peridot that we all know and love. She doesn’t use her limbs-enhancer anymore ( this being a rule with covering their flaws), she uses her powers now (forbidden), and she even talks back more (unacceptable). Thus she’ll show that its okay to break a few rules if they don’t sound right and that its okay to show your flaws. It what makes you, you.

Bismuth

Speaking on not wanting other for you to be around, Bismuth had shown a lot of that during her debut. She felt unwanted by Rose (of course, being used by Rose) and she felt unneeded by the Gems. However, Steven told her that they do still need her. Maybe not in the same way as they did in the past but as a friend to hang out with. A friend to play, to talk, to listen, and to learn. She has really improved. It shows that when they are fighting Blue and Yellow diamonds. She’ll show Steven that everyone still needs him, but not as their protector, not as their instructor, and certainly not as their entertainer. They need him as their friend. As their family.

5} centi

Obviously, Centi was helped by Steven who had absolute faith that she’ll regain herself. He helped her find her mind and body, just by having faith that she is still there. Centi will really help Steven cope if he’s ever corrupted. She’ll have faith that he’ll find himself, just like he did when Steven did with her. Thus instead of learning, She’ll help Steven as she was the first corrupted gem who he worked with. Thus in return, she along with other corrupted gems will help Steven heal.

6} Sadie & killer suspects

Sadie and the Killer suspects (or was once known as) was a bit of a hard one to think about. However, Steven had gotten them together. He helped them find their talents and while Buck, Sour Cream, and Jenny split from the group, they all had found something they love. Steven had been a piece in helping them find that.

Sadie

Sadie found her talent. Steven helped her bring it out and supported her through it all. He helped her in bringing out her talents and not to shame it but to embrace it. She’ll help Steven find something he’ll enjoy and maybe even help Steven in bringing out his true self.

Sour Cream

Sour Cream is kind of like a cousin to Steven as he was constantly babysit by Greg thus he’s bound to know Steven like a little brother or a cousin. While he didn’t have the best dad, his mother and step father helped him. Steven helped Sour Cream better understand family. Helped Sour Cream better understand his step father and helped ease his tension with his biological father. Thus Sour Cream will help Steven by reminding him that family is there to help him.

Jenny and Buck are a bit harder as they only appear is a few episodes. However, like Sadie, Sour Cream, and maybe Lars, they see Steven like a little brother or cousin as well. Steven has always supported them and helped them when needed thus they’ll be happy to return the favor.

7} Lars of the stars

Lars wasn’t the best at first the whole franchise. But he improved after a few seasons. He wanted to be cool. He wanted to be one of the cool kids. Yet somehow Steven always stole his chances in ever being cool. However the more time he spent with Steven, he sees that Steven is just being himself. How? He’s a kid? He’s nowhere near as cool as the other kids. Yet the cool kids are always hanging out with Steven. Why? Well, Steven is just being himself as he has the courage to be himself. He wants others to see him as who he is and not what he isn’t. Courage. Lars had always been on of the ones who would say “yea, I’m strong, I have no fear” yet he’ll run away rather than join the fight. Thus when he and Steven are taken to homeworld, It is all that is needed to have Lars grow a pair and gain courage. Thus he fights. When he fights, he truly shows who he is and then he isn’t afraid anymore. He can probably understand why Steven is able to get along with others so well as when he starts being himself, the other defective gems start to admire him. They like him for being himself. Thus, when Steven is starting to act differently, he starts becoming someone else (shown when he try’s to be a therapist, try’s to be a leader, and try’s to be a gardener). Lars will show Steven that he needs to be brave and be himself.

8} Andy

Andy is another hard one as he appear for a couple episodes. However, he is really supportive of his nephew. Yea, Greg may have left the family, but he still cares. I need help with this one but like the other humans, he may show that despite him traveling and hardly being in any episode, he’ll come back and help in any way he could. This showing that there is proof that even if his friends are somewhere far away, they’ll always come back.

9} Lion

Lion was another hard one to think about. I think he’ll be more like an emotional support animal. However, he’s clearly more than that. Pets sometimes mirror their owners actions. Thus when he was with Rose, he might have learned how to “heal” people. Specifically, again, like an emotional support animal. But he also won’t hesitant on letting anyone know that they did something wrong. Such as when Steven gave himself up to the diamonds, Connie was furious thus being around Connie a lot, he picked up on her emotions to know something was right. Thus acted against Steven letting him know that he did something wrong. I think Lion can help my calming him and with however he knows something is wrong, he’ll support the others in “taming” Steven as such as Steven (and Rose) tamed him.

10} the diamonds

The diamonds came a long way from being the enemies, to being friends. They still have their flaws but they’ve been learning to right their wrongs and change.

Blue

Blue is a lot more cheery and is able to get along with gets in an emotional way as she is able to express that she has feelings and that she doesn’t always have to hide them nor show that she has to be strong. Thus she’ll help with Steven’s emotions as to help him express it more than hide them.

Yellow

Yellow is a lot more at ease than keeping up the strict attitude. She makes jokes and shows that she loves them and is even shown that she likes to make Blue laugh. Thus she’ll show Steven to loosen up. Yea, we need a strict attitude and must keep professional, but we also meed to loosen up.

White

White saw everything was flawed and that needed to be corrected. That she had to be the symbol for perfection. However, even the shiniest diamond has her flaws. She was more of a mother. However, probably due to Pink’s childish nature and her tantrums. She probably thought she was doing something wrong. Why wasn’t she like Blue, Yellow, or herself? She had to fix it. She changed to something as what she sought as perfect and from there changed to a “villain”. But it took Steven to show that change is good but it can be bad. Flaws? Its natural. There is no such thing as perfection. Its all just an illusion. Its something that makes us different from others and that difference, that change, its good. Thus with all that has been changing around Steven and all the mistakes and flaws he sees, he may need some advice from someone who has been there. White lost Pink. A relationship lost. Change was bound to happen as she may have wanted to prevent any more lost of relationships. But theres a healthy way and a bad way to cope. Steven showed a better side to change and a better understanding of flaws. Thus White may need to remind Steven of what it means to change and have flaws.

11} Spinel

Spinel was also hurt a lot. She was left and abandoned. She felt as if she was played. Much like Lapis and Amethyst, she felt as if she was unneeded. But she coped differently unlike Lapis who ran away and Amethyst who acted like a kid or teen and gives attitude. She thought revenge would serve her right. She felt as if she needed to right the wrong by hurt others. And after the movie, she felt as if she messed up the chance to make things right and build new relationships. However, Steven told her to not give up hope. There is still time to make amends and time to make new friends. Now it is Spinel’s turn to remind Steven that there is hope. That he won’t be left alone. Least not for 6000 years. She’ll help remind him that amends can be made and that she’ll help him find a new healthy relationship once again.

12} Volleyball

Volleyball saw the worst side of Pink. It scarred her. Thus she hides it. She chooses to believe the better side and forget the worst. However, while trying to heal she learns from Pearl that you’ll heal. It’ll still hurt but its okay. You’ll cope. She learned it from Pearl, but she’ll need to teach Steven that while trying to forget and heal from his mother’s mistakes, that he needs to learn that bad side that he knows, shouldn’t outshine the other side as well. His mother made a lot of mistakes. But like I said before, we all have our flaws. His mother wasn’t a bad person, she just need time and trials to figure out how to stop her own mess and her own problems (I’m not saying that she is good and forgiven nor that she is bad and she should not ever be forgiven). But healing is going to need both sides to shine and yes it’ll still hurt but it’ll be alright. Your coping.

13} Jasper

Jasper may help Steven as well. In the beginning of Steven Universe Future, Jasper was shown to still have a grudge with Steven. While he may have attempted to help Jasper and hardly have ever any success, Jasper will help when Steven is corrupted and when he is healed. Steven shows that he keeps a lot of negative emotions hidden and we need to think, what is Steven’s power tied to? His emotions. Thus Jasper will be sort of a punching bag. She’ll help Steven cope with his negative emotions and spar with him to release the negative emotions. We even saw a little of that in the beginning of this season. She was really impressed with Steven and was happy that he fought her. In a way, they may both help each other by doing this. Jasper still has lots of hate and hurt in her as she feels weak and powerless and that Steven and his friends made her feel that way with fusion. Steven has a lot of bottled up emotions from both the past and present. Thus they may both heal from the sparring.s as we even got a little view of that in

14} Pink Diamond

Yes, the main “villain” of the story. But is she really? Yes, everything started because of her. Yes, Steven has to face her problems she left. But did she know any better? I don’t know. We all tend to make decisions that may seem the best and yet sometimes they can turn in the wrong direction. Pink was able to learn from her mistakes and she was able to learn from new things and she learned to adapt into new life. She fought for her freedom, she fought for other gems freedom, she fought for humanity’s freedom. Yes, this may not justify some of her actions but because she built a new life she was able to create new life through Steven. As parents, we want only what is best for their children. However, how do we know if what we choose is best for our kids? Well she already learned that the diamonds aren’t the best example of adults. Thus she wanted to be better than them as much as she wants Steven to be better than her. Now Steven fixed her mistakes, fixed the right she wronged, help build a new world for gems to live freely in. But at what cost? This I feel like if Steven were to be corrupted, she would appear in an ghost like image in his mind (just guessing or imagining but lets just say). She isn’t truly gone yet. A bit of her stays in Steven as in all kids, there is something that we have of our parents. She may appear to him to try to right her last mistake. Leaving her son to do all the work. She left when he needed her. When everyone needed her. And remember, in this season, Steven is trying to escape from his mothers past and her mistakes. He hides her portrait in lion’s mane, he denys any mention or fact about her, and he, I’m guessing, blames her for a lot of things. Thus she may appear to “knock” some sense into Steven. Thus he’ll eventually calm down and we may even learn more about her from herself and maybe even finally get some mother and son time. We also got to remember the chest in lion’s mane. We have no idea what is in there. This may be the perfect chance for Pink to give Steven a key to the chest. Maybe in there will reveal more stuff about Pink or maybe something else. This may not happen but it’s fun to think about.

15} Everyone

Of course, maybe talking to Steven in his corrupted form is going to be hard as we all know how corrupted gems first act when meeting others. However, I think everyone would work together in bringing Steven back. Basically using this slot as how everyone would give back to Steven in their owns ways as show in the list above. I know I missed a lot of characters, but I honestly think those characters will help too but as in the side lines. Thus seeing everyone work together will help Steven calm down and maybe reveal all what he has been holding in.

I can’t wait for the episodes and hope you all enjoy the last few episodes of Steven Universe.

#steven universe #steven corruption theory #steven universe lars #su connie #sadie su #garnet #pearl steven universe #amethyst #peridot #lapis lazuli #bismuth #spinel #diamond authority #greg universe #andy demayo #su lion

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stevenbasic · 6 years ago

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Almost four years ago...

“Hey, c’mon, p-please... Rina, stop…” I countered, holding my hands up and attempting a laugh...but hearing myself stammer as I stepped back into the wall, “Remember...my wife -” “Your wife,” she interrupted, giggling as she took another step closer, “...isn’t here...” We’d found ourselves, my medical assistant Rina and I, alone in a back hallway of the local tavern I'd rented out for the office’s annual holiday party. Just like at the office, we’d been flirting and joking with one another all evening, drinking, eating...more drinking, with all the rest of the staff, a nice little crowd. I like to think I have a friendly relationship with all my employees...but let’s just say I liked Rina, my newest hire, especially well. And here we were...and now we were alone.

“Nope, wifey’s not here...is she?” she finished, as she clasped her hands in front of her, purposefully squeezing her soft mams between her arms, making that amazing cleavage of hers bubble and bulge over her neckline. I couldn’t help but look down, falling right into her trap. I rarely got to see her in anything other than scrubs, and wow... her figure... So big, at least as big as Deanna, if not bigger…

“Uh... W-well, you see…” I stuttered. I was trying to retain my composure, my at-ease smile...but I was turning into a mess. Just a half hour earlier I was up in front of everyone as they finished dessert, telling jokes and lauding them for another successful year at the practice. And now, I found myself here, feeling like a mouse that had been cornered by a hungry cat and...boy, was I nervous. “Uh…”

I laughed again, and she was smiling playfully, like this was a drunken little game. But the way she gazed up at me with those big dark eyes, as shiny and beautiful as polished obsidian, made it perfectly clear we weren’t just playing any more.

When I finally did get a hold of myself and I looked back up at her she was already wearing that smirk of hers… that sexy, knowing smirk. The same one that she always gave me when she caught me glancing her way in the office. But now, here, with four bourbons in me, I was outright staring, barely even trying to hide it. Yes, Rina and I had a fun, flirty thing going at work, and I’d had fun, flirty relationships with lots of “my girls”. They all seemed to like it, and I like to think it - I dunno - keeps the work environment fun, if we can all be friends, friendly, flirty. But - especially since my last affair with Deanna - I was always careful to tread carefully. The alcohol in my system, though, tonight, certainly wasn’t doing me any favors in this regard, and I felt my blood starting to race dangerously in excitement. “No, she isn’t,” she answered for me, reaching up to straighten my tie for me, pouting, “she isn’t here at all.” Satisfied with my collar, she ran her hands slowly down my chest. “She made you come here all...by...your…”

Her hands ended up under my jacket, near my belly.

“...self.”

“Yes, yeah…you guys,” I said, trying again to laugh, immediately knowing I was too brave in my reply, the booze speaking for me, “have me all to yourselves.”

At that Rina laughed, laughed and then….purred. “Yes, all to ourself…” She smiled up at me, as we were both obviously enjoying this covert moment together, and I smiled back.

“Where did she say she had to go again?” she asked, blithely, “Some big lawyer meeting thing? Like, she couldn’t be bothered to be here for you tonight?…” Oh Jeez, why did she have to be so perceptive? “N-no…’ I chuckled, “that’s not i-” “Oh, I think it is. What a cruel woman, leaving her husband here all alone...” Rina teased, her voice quieting to a gentle whisper as she stepped in closer, pressing herself against me, “Poor, poor Doctor…“

Her mouth was now mere inches from mine, and I could feel the warm breath of her Amaretto Sours on my face. The gentle caress of her fingers drew tiny, little circles on my abdomen and despite myself...they were electrifying. Even through the fabric of my shirt they sent shivers down my spine. Not to mention those breasts - god they’re big... big and firm, firm and soft - squishing warmly into me, deforming against my chest and spreading out even wider. And at this point cleavage was absolutely exploding out of her neckline, her tanned skin contrasting beautifully against the dark neckline of her grey sweater dress. “You deserve better,” she stated indulgently, scratching my sides through my shirt with long, manicured nails, “You work sooo much… so many long, stressful hours, helping all those nice people…”

“Yeah haha…” I managed trying to back away as much as I could, but only finding myself taking an unneeded sip of now-watery whiskey.

“I mean, I’m sure your wife is nice…”

“Nice?” I added, too quickly and far too unwisely, too candidly, “I don’t know if I’d call her ‘nice’...” That, for sure, brought a slow, wide smile to Rina’s face, catching me in this lack of restraint, this moment of candor.

“Awww...You deserve someone nice. Someone that can...return the favor,” she continued, picking up on my cues, that she was hitting home, “someone who can make everything feel all better after such a long...hard...day.”

I swallowed loudly, trying to think about anything other than how good her thick thigh felt pressing into my groin, my steadily growing hardness. Could she feel it yet? I fought against every deep urge inside myself not to push myself into her leg, make her feel it.

But I know I should have been thinking more clearly about Sheryl… my wife, the woman to whom I’d committed myself. A smart, capable, beautiful woman in her own right, who helped me buy and build this practice, gave me so much support. I needed to be strong. I couldn’t do this to her again, not after all that I had put her through the first time. Things had been going so well lately between us, I like to think we’d fixed things. I know I should have pushed Rina away, I should have told her to leave me alone but I stupidly didn’t. I was too weak, too stupified by booze, by how much fun I’d been having...by Rina’s smooth, enticing voice, by the closeness of her body, by her big, full breasts and deep cleavage. It was all just so… so…

...promising.

And so I let her continue.

“Your wife’s not...gentle, is she?” she continued, smiling mischievously up at me, as she slowly squeezed her shoulders again, pushing them together to display her size and pull my gaze, “She’s not...soft, like me, is she?”

“Hehe no...she’s…uh…” Jesus those breasts. Bulging, tan. Even in this dim light, a few freckles. “She’s, uh, not…” And, god, Rina was a new mom, right? “...not like...you.” “Do you like them, Dr J?” She asked suddenly, blinking coquettishly up at me as I wrenched my gaze back up into her eyes. Fuck, I was staring again!

“Wh-whu..?” I laughed, trying to save myself.

She giggled. “I always see you looking at me, at work…” she said, with faux innocence, “Why is that?”

“L-looking at you?” I tried, “Hahah I don’t, I wasn’t -” I began, but again I was interrupted.

“You mean you don’t look at my tits?” she smiled, eyes flashing...giggling, “You don’t...like them?”

Oh my god I have to-

“No, I mean...I totally love them.” Wait...What was I saying??

Before I could save myself she gave a hearty laugh, throwing her head back, her long dark hair flowing over her shoulders, the flesh of boobs jiggling. “That’s good,” she said, as she pulled her shoulders back, drew in a deep breath to expand her torso, “I’m so glad you like them…that you like looking at me...”

I tried to stammer a response, backpedal.

“Shhh...” She hushed me, putting her finger against my lips, “It’s okay sweetie, I don’t mind…” Moving her hand to the back of my head, she urged my head to tilt, my gaze lower… to look down at her… Oh God… “Yes… that’s it…” She cooed as I stared down at her, down her top and into that wonderful, deliciously full cleavage, “Rina’s just so big, isn’t she?” Stupidly, I nodded, too paralyzed by her charms to say or do anything else. I felt more than saw the satisfied grin spread across her face, the glint of triumph flashing in the dark onyx of her eyes. I knew this was going a little too far but it wasn’t obviously bothering her one bit.

“Yes, ever since I started, after having the baby, now that they’re so big...” she continued, “...you can’t keep your eyes off them, can you?”

“N-no I, uh…” I stammered, more and more caution being thrown to the wind, “you’re beautiful…”

“Oh, Doctor….”

And that’s when something changed - I felt something change in her, in the air between us. Her confidence soared, her mind made up. She knew, I knew, we both knew that this was going somewhere.

I saw her look left, and then right, and then - confident that we were alone - I felt her hand grab me through my pants. I groaned - quietly, not wanting to be heard - but did nothing to stop her. Suddenly I was putty in her hands.

And then we kissed…

======================

thanks to DB20 for his help on this one!

#Growing Into the Job

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meditativeyoga · 5 years ago

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Do You Have a Royal Fear of Inversions?

A Newbie's Overview of Yoga exercise's Trick Inversions: Find out how you can encounter your concern of going upside down and why it's so worth doing.

When I announced that it was time for Sirsasana (Headstand) during a workshop I was educating in Philly a few years earlier, a senior female slunk from the room, quickly adhered to by her yoga exercise educator. Moments later, they both came back. Later, I found out that the trainee had left the space since she had never been inverted in her life and also was frightened to attempt, her yoga instructor had actually gently encouraged her to return, telling her that this was the excellent possibility. Reluctantly, the student had agreed.

I assisted her up, kept her there for about 15 secs, as well as carefully brought her down. She stood, grinned, and gave me a huge hug. The following day, the very first thing she said to me was, 'Can you take me inverted once again today?' I've been informed that she has actually been up throughout every solitary course given that. At a spry 82, this woman had encountered her anxieties, empowered herself, and also made herself much more able in old age than in youth.

Since we hardly ever, if ever before, purposefully transform ourselves inverted, an aversion to inversions is all-natural. Yet it's an embarassment to let fear keep us from a lot of advantages as well as delights. Ralph Waldo Emerson as soon as wrote, 'He has not found out the lessons of life who does not every day surmount a fear.'

Why Inversions Are Secret to the Practice of Yoga

A yoga method without inversions is like a marriage without a partner, lemonade without lemons, or a body without a heart-- the essence is missing. Inversions set yoga exercise in addition to various other physical disciplines: Psychologically, they permit us to see things from an alternating point of view. Psychologically, they direct the energy of the pelvis (the energy of production as well as individual power) toward the heart facility, enabling self-exploration and internal growth. Physically, they stimulate the immune as well as endocrine systems, thus stimulating and also nurturing the brain as well as the body organs. When done correctly, inversions likewise release stress in the neck and also the spine.

Because of their myriad advantages, Sirsasana (Headstand, pronounced shir-SHA-sa-nuh) as well as Sarvangasana (Shoulderstand, articulated sar-vaan-GAH-sa-nuh) are taken into consideration to be the king and also queen of asanas, respectively. Sirsasana establishes our capacity for action (fire aspect) as well as enhances our capability to produce (air aspect). Sarvangasana supports our ability to stop doing and get based (earth element) and also promotes our capacity to be still and also reflect (water element). Sirsasana makes us even more alert and also focused, while Sarvangasana makes us tranquil as well as receptive.

To obtain these apparent advantages-- as well as to avoid injury, especially to the neck-- it's important to discover the proper setup as well as placement for each present. Likewise, I recommend that females forgo inversions throughout their menstruation period, reversing blood circulation breaks the body's all-natural desire to release stale blood as well as the endometrial cellular lining, and also it could result in a heartburn of menstruation liquid (referred to as backward menstruation). Various other contraindications include neck injuries, epilepsy, high blood pressure, heart disease, as well as eye troubles. Be conscious concerning your body as you come close to these positions, yet give them a try.

After 36 years of yoga exercise, I practice both positions every day and recommend the exact same to my students. It takes a while to build up a practice of Sarvangasana and Sirsasana, however. Be patient with on your own and also take the time to grasp them, if you do, you will enjoy their benefits for the rest of your life.

Learning Shoulderstand

A healthy sarvangasana calls for a solid opening of the underarms and also a rolling of the shoulders back and toward each other to allow the neck to launch properly.

How to Get ready for Shoulderstand

A great way to prepare for this is to stand with your back near a table, interlace your fingers, area your hands on the table, as well as bend your knees while lifting your upper body. This duplicates the movement required in the complete present yet places no weight on the head or neck, permitting you to cultivate adaptability without risk.

Setu Bandha Sarvangasana (Bridge Posture) is another great prep work, because it distributes weight in between the feet and top body while protecting the neck.

Are You Ready for Sarvangasana?

While in Bridge Pose, you could inspect to see if you have actually established the necessary adaptability in your shoulders for Sarvangasana: Lift your hips, leave your shoulders on the floor, and also discover your seventh cervical vertebra (C7), that big bump at the end of the neck. If it's pushing into the flooring, you are not yet ready for the next step, or you will need firm blankets or foam pads to sustain your body. If you use blankets or pads, they need to support your body from your joints to your shoulders as well as top trapezius muscle mass, which cover the upper-back component of the neck and shoulders. If you have stiff trapezius muscular tissues, C7 will certainly likewise relax on the pads. Ultimately, your breast will touch your chin, indicating that your neck is mobile sufficient for you to practice Sarvangasana.

Where to Start

If you feel you prepare to removal on, attempt Ardha Sarvangasana (Fifty percent Shoulderstand). This is done with the hips raised off the floor, the feet on the wall surface, as well as the shoulders rolled under with 2 or 3 carefully folded up coverings or firm pads under them to make certain that the neck is pain-free. The pads must remain in the same position as described over for Setu Bandha Sarvangasana. In time, you will certainly feel all set to do full Sarvangasana by raising one leg each time from Ardha Sarvangasana.

Props

While pads are unneeded for perfect bodies, for the rest people, they are necessary. Eventually, the shoulders themselves end up being the pads and also none of the spinal column touches the floor. In the meanwhile, the stiffer the shoulders, the higher the pads need to be. Though many teachers teach this present without pads, I value my trainees' necks and think about pads to be a vital component of the posture.

The Effects of Shoulderstand

After you come out of Sarvangasana, stay up as well as discover its effects. Your eyelids need to feel heavy as well as your facial muscles soft and weighted, as if your jawbone is mosting likely to leave. If you feel flustered, angry, or stressful, you could have stayed in the present also long or may need assistance with your placement, in that situation, seek advice from an experienced teacher.

Learning Headstand

The gifts of Sirsasana are so great that also if you are not prepared to do the actual pose, you could profit by getting ready for it. The preparations assist you strengthen the latissimus dorsi muscle mass-- the big muscular tissues that affix the arms to the back-- as well as assistance create the recognition called for to spread, lift, and also strengthen the muscle mass around the shoulder blades so that the neck is protected.

How to Prepare for Sirsasana

Start in Adho Mukha Svanasana (Downward-Facing Pet Position) as well as concentrate on involving the muscle mass that spread the shoulder blades far from each various other, far from the flooring, as well as towards the rib cage. This activity will certainly construct the upper-body toughness you will require, when you re-create this in Sirsasana, both your head and also neck will be protected. In Adho Mukha Svanasana, see to it that your shoulder blades are broad as well as your neck is long. (You can allow your visit relax on a block.)

Are You Ready for Headstand?

In Downward-Facing Pet, check to see if your shoulders are below an imaginary line attracted in between your wrists as well as buttocks-- if so, you prepare to go on.

Setting Up

Learning the best ways to establish your arms as well as head is the following step toward Sirsasana. Interlace your fingers and also thumbs on the floor before you. Maintain your wrists as far apart as feasible and your arm joints bear width apart, to ensure that your inner arm joints and internal underarms form a square. Position your head against your wrists and also thumb mounds, your head should hinge on the flooring at your fontanel (the place in front of the crown of the head) or slightly in front of it. You could find the fontanel by understanding of the large bump on the top of your head then sliding your fingers forward, you will really feel a valley (the fontanel) adhered to by a 2nd bump. Come out of the setup.

Props

If you have tight shoulders as well as a rounded upper back, attempt a Sirsasana prep work with company pads versus a wall. This assists flatten as well as open your upper back, develop a soft neck, and motivate the sense of lift in your shoulders that is needed for doing Sirsasana correctly. Establish up your head as well as arms with your knuckles touching the wall surface, after that walk your feet toward your arms and correct your legs. Press your wrists down and attempt to take your shoulders off the pads, as you do so, you should feel your head raising off the floor.

Where to Start

As a start yoga pupil, you ought to have 90 percent of your weight on your lower arms as well as 10 percent on your head in Sirsasana. As you evolve in the stance, you'll put more weight on your head up until ultimately almost One Hundred Percent of your weight is on your head. Numerous novices discover that Sirsasana is not frightening when they realize there is little weight on their head and also neck.

The following action is Ardha Sirsasana (Fifty percent Headstand). There are no equilibrium issues in this primary present, since the arms are on the flooring as well as the feet are pushing versus the wall with the legs alongside the floor. Beginning by kneeling with your back toward a wall surface, and position your arms on a sticky mat established a leg's length from the wall. To set up the pose, interlace your fingers as well as thumbs, area your elbow joints bear size apart, bring your fontanel to the flooring, as well as make sure that your head is not tipped or turned to one side. Raise your shoulders, removaling your shoulder blades up and apart like water moving from a fountain. Gradually walk your feet up the wall till your upper legs and also legs are identical to the floor. Hold the position for concerning half a minute-- being extremely mindful of your shoulder blades raising as well as broadening-- and afterwards come down. If your shoulder blades relocated up as well as away from each various other in the pose, you await Sirsasana.

How to Come Into Headstand

To move into the full present, set your sticky mat beside a wall surface as well as place your knuckles beside the wall. To find up, adhere to the setup directions for the head as well as shoulders, after that, with your legs bent, carefully leap both boosts and also land with the soles of your feet touching the wall surface. Straighten your legs one at a time, pressing them together.

The Effects of Sirsasana

When you appear of Sirsasana as well as stay up, you must feel a peaceful, focused sensation in your brain and also nerves. Your hands ought to be calm and consistent. If they are not, you have actually remained as well long, functioned incorrectly, or worked as well difficult. Never ever stress in this position. Have your instructor inspect your present regularly to see that your head and also neck remain in the correct positioning which your shoulders are raising as well as expanding properly.

Sequencing Your Inversions

Now that you recognize how you can do Sirsasana and Sarvangasana, how do you fit them right into your technique series? Shoulderstand ought to be done after Headstand (although you don't need to do it promptly after), since Sirsasana heats the body up and Sarvangasana cools the body down. In addition, in Sarvangasana, the back of the neck is launched as well as the vertebrae are expanded, releasing any type of stress as well as compression in the neck that a wrong Sirsasana could have caused. In an all-around method session, Sirsasana ought to come after standing postures as well as before various other intense work such as backbends and deep spins. Sarvangasana adheres to, and also then Savasana (Remains Pose). If you have neck issues, it is much better to do Sarvangasana before moderate backbends, because backbends can ease any stress in the neck brought on by Sarvangasana.

How long should you hold the postures? The guideline is to hold Sarvangasana twice as long as Sirsasana yet never ever to the point of strain. I highly suggest servicing these presents in class with a knowledgeable instructor for a few months before doing them at house, although it is smart to maintain exercising the preparations on your very own. A well-trained, knowledgeable, as well as attentive instructor could assist you establish when you are all set to practice them alone.

I hope these words have actually urged you to begin a lifelong method of these stunning positions in such a way that is both secure and valuable. In doing these 2 inversions, the king as well as queen of asanas, you will be experiencing the essence of yoga exercise. May your work aid you discover the fragrant sweetness that is, after all, your personal internal essence.

Aadil Palkhivala is the cofounder as well as supervisor of Alive as well as Radiate Facility in Bellevue, Washington.

#asana #meditation #Yoga #yoga instructor

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medical921 · 3 years ago

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allenmendezsr · 4 years ago

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Although we’ve helped hundreds of thousands of men and women around the world to radiant health, know this:

We aren’t genetic freaks. We both had to overcome years of terrible eating habits. And we certainly don’t spend all of our time in the kitchen.

In fact, up until her mid-twenties, Amy struggled with her weight. In college, she exploded past the typical “freshmen fifteen” by packing on a total of 30 lbs in just one year.

It didn’t help that she also worked at McDonalds’ flipping burgers as a teenager. Growing up on fast food and rarely ever having a meal at home that was made from fresh foods, was a ticking time bomb that eventually forced her to body to pack on stubborn weight.

For years, she tried every diet under the sun. She would lose some weight here and there, only to put it back on (with interest) shortly thereafter. It seemed like the more diets she tried, the more weight she ended up gaining afterwards. By following the latest “low fat”, “low calorie”, and other diets-of-the-day she likely did more harm than good.

Then, one day, Amy snapped.

She was gearing up for a hockey game. Getting undressed in the locker room with all the other girls, she felt embarrassed about her body. She was certainly more comfortable hiding under her hockey equipment. At least she thought so.

As she started to “gear up”, she slid her legs through your hockey pants and pulled them up. But they wouldn’t budge! She couldn’t believe it. She couldn’t even fit into her big hockey pants anymore. She felt like running away and hiding in a cave. She knew something had to change.

Then there’s me:

I certainly wasn’t always a highly sought after health and nutrition expert or New York Times bestselling author… and I certainly wasn’t always a regular guest on shows like Dr. Oz or The Doctors.

Growing up, my terrible diet caused me to suffer from a host of health problems that I thought would simply take care of themselves because I was so active.

Instead, my digestive problems, eczema, asthma, and low energy eventually erupted into a full-blown autoimmune condition, in which my body attacked my hair, leaving me complete bald from head to toe just before my 17th birthday. I later discovered that this was largely caused by my diet and eating a lot of supposed health foods.

Because of our mutual struggles growing up on foods that are known dangers to the human body, Amy and I have always been passionate about learning the truth about what creates optimal health and a lean body. We wanted answers to our problems and those answers came rushing in when we returned to school in our mid-twenties to study holistic nutrition.

Since discovering the life-changing health and nutrition secrets from that schooling, Amy has lost years of stubborn weight, had to buy smaller hockey pants, and kept off the weight even after multiple pregnancies. And both of us are leaner and healthier than we’ve ever been.

And we’re motivated more than ever to keep eating this way so that we can provide our kids with the best start in life as possible. Something neither Amy nor I had growing up.

It just so happens that the very meals that have kept both Amy and I super lean and our entire family healthy are the SECRET to helping you burn more fat as well.

Amy and I are not genetics freaks (as we just showed you) and the recipes and meal plans that you’re about to enjoy inside this cookbook haven’t just transformed our bodies and health…

They’ve also done so for countless other men and women around the world as we showed you above.

The same exact system that produced the above results can give you the health and body you want as well. But how?

No matter how much weight you have to lose…no matter if your hormones are a mess…and even if don’t think you can lose weight and keep it off…

You can! And you will because:

Our “unique” whole food recipes help your body in TWO specific (and powerful) ways:

They cool deadly inflammation, and

They rebalance your hormones and re-establish normal hormone-to-brain communication that puts an end to cravings, insatiable hunger, and excess fat storage.

And this is crucial since we’ve already shown you that eating the wrong foods that disrupt your hormone and create inflammation are the very cause of your weight gain!

Thus, eating foods that fight inflammation, like the ones that are abundantly found in our Fast Fat Burning Meals cookbook, is vitally important at helping you beat belly fat.

In fact, ALL of your hormones will start to function properly as you start eating the right kinds of foods…

The result…effortless weight loss!

Now, here’s the really good part (and ladies, listen up!) You are in TOTAL CONTROL — you simply eat when you want and stop when you’re full. At last, your body works as it should and you are in control of what you eat – not the other way around. You enjoy complete peace of mind knowing that every meal and necessary shopping list is provided for you. No more guesswork. Doesn’t that feel awesome?!

I know, this sounds so incredibly simple… and it is. You see, you might be confused right now about how to eat to lose weight…in a way that is actually easy and healthy for you.

There are so many super-complicated diets and recipes out there that are not as healthy as they’d like you to believe – it’s enough to confuse anyone! And it’s not your fault.

So many magazines print the most confusing, and downright STUPID diet plans and recipes (loaded with inflammatory and hormone disrupting foods) we’ve ever seen! It’s no wonder the nation is growing fatter by the year, and people have no idea how to eat well.

Our motto is: radiant health and lasting weight loss begin in YOUR kitchen with clean, simple, and great-tasting whole foods.

So, let’s recap what we’ve learned so far:

Since your body is truly made in the kitchen, the fastest way to lose years of “trapped” fat is to have “done-for-you” recipes and meal plans based on real, whole foods that fight inflammation and reset your body’s hormones to function properly. NOT counting calories, relying on fleeting willpower, or turn to “diet” foods that send a wave of toxins into your body that disrupt your ability to lose weight and keep it off…and drive you crazy in the process.

The mistake you absolute MUST AVOID is obsessing about calories and depriving yourself of delicious REAL foods. Because, if you do, it’s only a matter of time before you rebel and eat everything in sight…causing you to pack on even more fat!

The solution is to focus on eating high-quality foods that are fast and easy to make so that obsessing about calories becomes unnecessary. Remember, low-calorie “diet” foods disrupt hormones in your body and create excess inflammation, which forces you to store fat and eat more. By contrast, eating delicious (even higher calorie) REAL food lowers inflammation and helps your metabolism reset so that it can naturally release unneeded fat. And you get to actually ENJOY your food again!

The results have been proven for centuries by generations of men and women who ate real food found in nature. Not the processed crap that you see on TV and down most aisles in the grocery store. Now, YOU can have the exact “blueprint” to give your body exactly what it needs to shed fat and feel amazing! And it’s easier than ever before. Just eat!

Unless you’re a NY times bestselling nutrition author and health expert who knows exactly the right foods to eat for cooling inflammation, resetting your hormones, and releasing “trapped” fat, OR…

You’re a trained chef who knows exactly how to make mouth-watering healthy meals in a matter of minutes, OR…

You already have a proven “done-for-you” daily meal plan with itemized grocery lists that’s actually getting you the fat loss results you want, THEN…

You simply cannot find anything like the Fast Fat Burning Meals cookbook anywhere on the planet but on this page.

Sure, you can find copycat approaches to meal planning online. And there are certainly no shortage of cookbooks at your disposal. If you really wanted to, you could order every cookbook on Amazon and try figuring out which ones will help reshape your body. You could also spend about 100+ hours on Google and probably track down 80% of what Amy and I provide for you in the Fast Fat Burning Meals cookbook.

You could do that…but why?

After all, that’s the exact reason why we created this solution. We’ve not only created the system FOR you. We’ve already put the beautiful recipes with full color professional photos that make your mouth water, the daily meal plans, and the action steps all into one convenient, easy to follow place that you can access AND put into action immediately. That’s it. Quick and delicious healthy meals that burn fat – every time!

So, it’s up to you: get access to everything we’ve created for you – for pennies on the dollar – or start digging around and hope you figure it out.

And, no matter what you decide, you will never access our amazing transformation stories (just look where Amy started after 3 pregnancies), all the specifics that can make or break your results, and all the ridiculous freebies I’m about to show you without trying out this one-of-a-kind cookbook.

Here’s what you get TODAY:

Fast Fat Burning Meals Cookbook($37 value)

Enjoy 30 of our best fat-burning meals that you and your entire family will enjoy. They take less than 15 minutes to make, are 100% allergy-friendly, and big on flavor.

Plus, we’ve organized them for you in a convenient and easy-to-follow 30-day meal plan so that you know exactly what to have for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Now you can look forward to eating again without all the fuss – quickly and conveniently! Finally, enjoy – 100% guilt-free – delicious, healthy, fat-burning recipes like these:

And many more!

Easy-to-Follow 30-Day Meal Plan ($17 value)

Built into this cookbook is a “done-for-you” 30-day meal plan that structures all of your recipes into a daily breakfast, lunch, and dinner MENU for faster fat loss and so that you never have to stress about what to have for your next meal ever again.

Itemized Grocery List ($7 value)

To make your life even easier, you’ll also get an itemized shopping list for all of the necessary ingredients for each meal so that you know exactly which foods and ingredients (and in what quantities) to grab at the store. Having this detailed breakdown will save you time and money on foods that may otherwise go to waste.

Together, that’s a total retail value of $61 and even at that – it’s a total steal. Yet, that’s not what you pay today because I’ve set up a special discount just for you to make grabbing the Fast Fat Burning Meals cookbook as an absolute no-brainer!

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Go it alone, and you will end up confused and frustrated…and you’ll end up right back here where you are right now. Amy and I have seen it time and time again – people try and do it on their own without our super simple recipes and daily meal plans.

The results are NOT pretty.

Sure it sounds easy to “eat healthy” and that you can probably get similar solutions elsewhere. But let’s get real: if that were true, you would have done so already and would look and feel exactly the way you want.

Without using our “Food Freedom Formula” your body will continue to struggle with excess inflammation and messed up hormones that are preventing you from losing weight and feeling more youthful.

That’s because our Food Freedom Formula is highly specific and requires eating (and omitting) exactly the right foods. It requires adhering to a simple-to-follow, yet specific, daily meal plan that is proven to melt fat.

You can’t just slap a bunch of recipes together and expect great results. That’s what amateurs do. Pros follow a proven plan that is developed by experts who have discovered the “formula” to quick and lasting results.

That’s what Amy and I have spent the last 15 years mastering. Now, for less than the cost of a greasy pizza you can tap into our expertise and enjoy the quickest, tastiest, and healthiest meals that burn fat – quickly!

There are some people we simply do not want to give a copy of our cookbook to… and we mean NO offense, but we just don’t want you to waste your time and money. Fair?

You think “simple” means we’re going to “hand deliver” these meals to your front door. Dream on. You are the one that has to take a few minutes each day to prepare your meals. We’ve done everything for YOU except shop, chop, and cook your food…making it as easy as possible for you to meet us half way.

You don’t want to improve the way you are eating. We cover some very simple, basic dietary improvements that you will need to make to see results come extra fast. These are essential, especially if you need to lose weight. Nothing radical, but still…you will not be eating pizza, French fries, and ice cream and wake up with the body of your dreams.

You don’t love great tasting REAL food. Both Amy and I are big time foodies. We love good food that’s actually good for you…and that’s what we specialize in creating for you. If you want to rely on “diet” foods that come in a box, then isn’t for you.

Or, you refuse to move away from counting calories and worrying about grams of fat. Once again, calories matter very little when you eat the right nutrient-rich foods. Sure coconut milk contains more fat and calories than margarine, but you know which one is better for you, don’t you? So let’s agree to just eat natural, whole foods without fussing about that nonsense.

Or, you are just one of those folks who will buy the cookbook and then let it sit on your desktop and never put it to use. Please, don’t waste your money if that’s the case. However, if that IS the case, just realize you’re only going to gain more and more weight…lose control over your diet…be held hostage by food cravings….and perhaps even become ill…unless you do something about your diet and health, starting today.

Look around you…drive down any major street…walk through any food court…

What do you see?

Nothing that will support your goal of eating healthy and losing weight. In fact, the onslaught of terrible fast and fattening convenience foods is exactly why Amy and I are determined to get these simple, healthy fat-burning meals into your hands.

We know you’re pressed for time. So are we. We know you don’t want to give up delicious foods. Neither do we. And we know you’re done with all that calorie counting nonsense, right?

We want you to succeed and we want to make it easy for you to incorporate fast, healthy fat burning meals into your life.

That’s why we’re giving you this to you TODAY at such a ridiculous discount.

Also, this is not some super-fancy hardcover book with a million-dollar publisher’s ad budget. This is just a simple, yet beautiful, comprehensive, and to-the-point digital cookbook (PDF format) that will give you the everything you need – recipes, inspiring pictures, meal plan, ingredients – in as little time as possible.

Plus, we’re on a mission to transform the lives of more than 10 million people by 2018. And we know that the only to do that is by making done-for-you healthy, fat-burning recipes and meal plans more accessible to reach as many people as possible.

Which means that if, within 60 days, you do not feel that the Fast Fat Burning Meals Cookbook has saved you time, given you more peace of mind, and helped you stay lean without ever counting calories and giving up delicious foods, then you don’t pay a dime…. and you still get to keep the cookbook as our gift to you!

If you aren’t impressed before the end of your FREE 30-day trial, then simply email us so we can cancel your membership.

To celebrate the release of this new cookbook, we’re giving you a $20 discount. However, this offer is only valid for a few days – until this countdown timer on this page expires.

After that, this RIDICULOUSLY low price will be gone and we’ll be increasing the price of the cookbook to its higher regular price.

So you best order now to make sure you lock in the lowest price possible. Plus…

Yet, We Wanted to Give You These Extra Gifts Today…

To accelerate your success and give you even more quick, healthy “done-for-you” meals, we’re also throwing in the following 2 “juicy” bonuses:

Wheat-Free Wonder Breads ($17 value)

Who doesn’t love bread? Sadly, most breads are terrible for your health, create high levels of inflammation, send your blood sugar soaring, and force your body to store excess belly fat.

Well, not anymore! Now, you can have your bread and eat it too with our delicious gluten-free, wheat-free “wonder breads”. You can enjoy these delicious breads until your heart’s content because they’re 100% healthy, loaded with fiber and protein, and take less than 30 minutes to bake in the oven. You’ll enjoy breads like our “Guilt-Free Super Bread”, “Delicious Dinner Rolls”, and mouthwatering “Banana Bread” – just to name a few.

21 Slimming Smoothies ($17 value)

Making a smoothie is one of the easiest ways to send a surge of easily absorbable “high-power” nutrients into your body. In just one glass, you can get 3-5 servings of vegetables and fruit, which provide the vital nutrients your body needs to stay lean and healthy.

In this recipe guide, you’ll get 21 of our best slimming smoothies that you can whip together in 3 minutes or less so that you can get on with the rest of your day and feel about yourself. These are perfect to use when you’re pinched for time and want a quick, healthy “liquid” meal.

Then, we’ve got to be really honest with you. We don’t like sugar-coating the truth and that’s part of the reason we’re so good at helping people transform their bodies and health.

Moments from now, you could be transforming your relationship with food, eating as much of the right foods as you desire…all while burning more fat than you thought possible.

But here’s the thing:

You can keep doing exactly what you’re doing now. You can continue struggling to find the right recipes that are proven to prime your body to release “trapped” fat. You can count all the calories you want without seeing any difference on the scale. Your pants will still feel tight. And you’ll still be held hostage by food cravings and last-minute “convenience foods” decisions because you lack the right plan.

Your “obsession with food” will kick into full gear…all while others who are using our Food Freedom Formula are FREE from the shackles of dieting struggles. They’ll be in full control of the foods they eat. You won’t be.

The months and years will pass, and you will have LOST a golden opportunity to take advantage of a proven system…at the absolute lowest price that will ever be offered.

Sure, that may sound harsh but we’d rather be honest with you then pretend that everything is going to be ok if you try figuring this out on your own.

But never forget this:

Both Amy and I believe in YOU. We believe that you will make the best and only decision for your greatest chance at shedding years of “trapped” fat, eating healthy consistently, turning back the clock, and living a life full of energy.

Your friends in deliciously healthy and simple meals,

Yuri Elkaim, BPHE, RHN New York Times bestselling author, The All-Day Energy Diet

Amy Coates, BSc., RHN Creators, Fast Fat Burning Meals

P.S. Every second you wait the odds are good you will do nothing. Success in life requires action, so act right now while it’s fresh in your mind…

P.S.S. Remember, you have a full 60-day trial period to put Fast Fat Burning Meals to work for you! Put these meals to the test and you’ll see and feel the difference almost immediately. With today’s special discount and “no questions asked” Money Back Guarantee there’s NO WAY you can lose…

“Excellent easy to follow recipes. Most importantly, they are delicious and healthy and I look forward to making them. Now I consider myself a better cook and the credit goes to Yuri and his team!”

– Seann Vinyasa-Billson

“Loving the recipes – common grocery items, easy to put together, and taste wonderful! My hunger is totally satisfied and there are enough servings for your better half or family to eat, too. I’m already feeling more energy and less bloated. Yuri – you should have your own show on the Cooking Channel or Food Network!”

– Brenda Halverson

“These recipes have been a life saver for me! It takes all of the guesswork out of what to cook everyday. Not only is the food delicious, but it makes me feel great! Thank you, Yuri, for making weight loss so simple!”

– Allison McWilliams

Q. What makes this cookbook any different from all the rest?

No other cookbook uses our “Food Freedom Formula” which gives you delicious whole food recipes that take less than 15 minutes to make. The end result is that you are in full control of what you eat, free of bad choices, spend less time in the kitchen, and are eating your way to the body of your dreams.

Each recipe is accompanied by a beautiful picture that will make you salivate just looking at it. And to make your life even easier, we’ve provided a no-thinking-required 30-day meal plan so you’ll know exactly which of the meals to make and when. Plus, you’ll also get an itemized grocery list so you have pinpoint accuracy when buying your groceries – this saves you both time and money! Good luck finding all this anywhere else, at such a no-brainer price.

Q. Will these recipes fit into my paleo/raw/vegan, etc… lifestyle?

Yes, the recipes we create that can soothe all eating plans. Some are perfect for paleo, others for vegetarians, and so forth. The one thing they all have in common is that they’re low in sugar, allergen-friendly, are quick to make, and taste amazing.

Q. Are these recipes suitable for the entire family?

YES, they are absolutely family-friendly. Amy and I have 3 young boys and they eat what we eat, which means our meals need to be healthy and delicious. You’ll enjoy most of the meals we make at home as well as those from our contributors, which even the pickiest of eaters will fall in love with.

Q. What if I’m allergic to dairy, gluten, soy, or eggs?

Not worry. None of the recipes contain gluten, dairy, or soy and we have many egg-free recipes as well.

Q. Is this suitable for a non-cook?

YES! On top of all the recipes you’ll learn simple and essential cooking techniques that deliver outstanding taste and great nutrition in no time at all. You don’t need to be a pro to enjoy clean and lean food at home.

Q. Is it going to be really expensive to follow the recipes?

No. We’ve committed to making this easy for you to follow and light on your wallet, especially when you consider spending less money dining out and more time dining in and enjoying the food you cook in your own kitchen.

If you aren’t impressed before the end of your FREE 30-day trial, then simply email us so we can cancel your membership.

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dietsauthority · 5 years ago

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13 Ways to Fight Stress: National Women`s Health Week

Good psychological health is an essential component of wellness. So, boosted recognition as well as accessibility to details concerning women's mental wellness is today's objective for National Women's Health Week (May 12-18). Although women experience numerous kinds of mental health and wellness problems, one of the most typical troubles is stress and anxiety. As well as I'm a witness! Basically, stress is the sensation we get when encountered with a challenge or trauma. Plainly, it would certainly be tough to discover an individual today who is not aware of the word stress or the unwell results it carries our health and wellness, joy and tranquility of mind.

When we really feel like we do not have the devices to handle all of the

demands or dramas in our lives ... stress happens!

- The death of a spouse, friend or family member sets off stress!

- Marriage, splitting up, a break-up or separation ... trigger stress!

- School, a demanding work or challenging workplace ... stress!

- Shedding a job, lack of ability to pay expenses, hardship ... stress!

- A vehicle accident, health problem or injury ... stress!

- Arrest, accusations, incarceration ... stress!

- The demands of working and increasing a household ... stress!

These are just of a few stress-inducing scenarios that come to mind. I'm certain you can include a whole lot a lot more triggers to your list!

So we are stressed out, exactly what's the big deal?

According to womenshealth.gov, the body reacts to tension by releasing stress and anxiety hormonal agents. These hormonal agents make blood stress, heart price, and blood glucose levels increase. Long-lasting anxiety can add to a selection of wellness troubles, including: - Psychological health problems, like depression as well as stress and anxiety - Obesity - Heart problem - High blood stress - Irregular heart defeats - Menstrual issues - Acne and various other skin issues It has actually been claimed that women often deal with anxiety in various ways compared to guys. Women are most likely to "have a tendency as well as befriend," caring for those closest to them, yet also attracting assistance from loved ones. Does that sound familiar to you? Despite the fact that it could appear tough to find effective means to de-stress with all things we have to do, it's crucial to find those ways. Our health and wellness depends on it. While stress and anxiety is widespread and hard to stay clear of, there are several efficient means to decrease and manage anxiety every day.

Try these pointers to combat stress and anxiety normally:

#1. Eat Right and Get Moving

Although it's really alluring, try not to manage anxiety in harmful means including drinking excessive alcohol, utilizing drugs, cigarette smoking, or over-eating. Instead fuel up on fruits, veggies, beans, as well as whole grains. Do not be tricked by the jolt you get from high levels of caffeine or high-sugar junk food. Your power will disappear, and you can wind up really feeling much more exhausted than you did previously. Furthermore, research has actually shown that exercise can assist relieve signs of depression as well as anxiousness, kick back stressful muscles and also enhance your mood.

# 2. Get yourself ready Beforehand

Preparing yourself ahead of time-before you are stressed-is a terrific way to lower stress from the onset. If you understand you are heading into a demanding day or event such as a service conference or a journey to the dental practitioner, preparing on your own in advance can help minimize unneeded tension. A long walk, deep breathing workouts, and even journaling could launch unfavorable and also stressful emotions before they have an opportunity to occur.

#3. Try to Live in the Moment

As cliché as it might sound, residing in the minute and knowing that in this precise minute you are fine and whatever the future may bring, you are fine in the present moment could reduce the anxiety of the future. Anything good could happen at any type of provided minute. Do not sweat the small stuff.

# 4. Take a Deep Breath as well as Relax

Yoga as well as meditation are not so basic any type of more. There are so numerous selections of yoga as well as meditation these days that you are bound to locate something that fulfills your requirements and benefits you. Grab a friend throughout lunch break, after work or on the weekend breaks and begin exercising leisure techniques. Extending can additionally aid unwind your muscles and also make you feel less tense. Top it off with a relaxing back as well as neck massage therapy to assist ease tension.

# 5. Take Five and Take a Time Out

Stress is so typical and also conveniently approved in today's culture that it is commonly forgotten or trivialized. Ideally, stress and anxiety must not be a regular component of our day-to-day lives. It must be a once-in-a-while occurrence. With the attitude that tension serves as well as expected, we set ourselves up for making it part of that we are daily. When stress does take place, it is essential to tip away-even for five mins, collect yourself, as well as take a break. Often that time out is a way of preventing more excessive stress and anxiety. Being flexible is crucial. Occasionally, it's unworthy the stress and anxiety to suggest. Give up every now and then or satisfy individuals midway. Pick your fights carefully.

# 6. Obtain Organized as well as De-clutter Your Life

Clutter as well as poor organization could trigger stress. Get arranged as well as simplify your life to assist manage your life as well as time a lot more efficiently. Plan ahead regarding exactly how you're mosting likely to invest your time. Create a to-do list. Number out exactly what's most important to do and do those points. Attempt setup aside a weekend to obtain your family participants involved in preparing how you can organize and simplify your household routines. Make it a priority to obtain rid of clutter. If you have actually not made use of something or considered in the last 6 months, chances are you will certainly not. Clutter could trigger unneeded stress and anxiety also if it is subliminal audio. Develop a location for every little thing and whatever in its place and also get everybody on board. Keys ought to get on the essential hook as well as layers on the coat shelf, etc. Publications, publications, clothing as well as playthings must be saved nicely. By doing this, when you search for something it is readily available and also within a moment's grasp.

#7. Stay Hydrated

As easy as this might sound, being effectively moistened is important to feeling your finest. In some cases an additional glass of lemon water or herbal tea will certainly perk you up. As a general rule, alcohol consumption lots of water throughout the day will certainly maintain you feeling rejuvenated, which subsequently will certainly maintain you from feeling lethargic-which is demanding. When you are moistened, you are much less most likely to come to be weary and irritable.

# 7. Make Your Requirements a Priority Too

Let's face it, we all have great deals of points that we need to do. Yet often we do not put in the time to do the important things that we actually want to do. Take time to do the important things that bring you enjoyment whether it is hanging out with pals, hearing your preferred songs, reading a juicy publication and having a favorite, operating in your garden, making crafts or mosting likely to a show.

#9. Vent Your Frustrations

One of the most effective ways to eliminate stress and anxiety is just merely to duct. Locate that a person friend that is constantly ready to listen and also have them schedule some paying attention time for you. Tell them in advance that you don't necessarily want them to offer any kind of suggestions, just to listen. This works wonders for alleviating anxiety. It maintains you from holding it all in and allows you to regroup and also acquire a fresh point of view. I have actually found that talking concerning my problems with good friends or member of the family can in some cases help me feel much better. They have helped me to see my issues in a brand-new means and also suggest options that I had not believed of.

#10. Write it Out

Here's strategy advised by womenshealth.gov that frequently helps me. Possibly it will benefit you: Make a listing of the important things that cause you stress. From your listing, find out which issues you could solve currently and which are past your control for the minute. From your checklist of troubles that you could address now, start with the children. Discover the best ways to comfortably consider a trouble, think about feasible options, and do something about it to resolve the issue. Being able to solve small problems will provide you confidence to tackle the huge ones. And sensation confident that you can resolve issues will certainly go a lengthy means to assisting you really feel much less stressed

#11. Walk Off Stress

The old expression about walking off an injury can definitely relate to strolling off stress. Walking removes your mind, reduces tension, gives you a clear point of view and also insight into just what is worrying you out, and offers you the capacity to leave, actually, from a situation.

#12. Get Sufficient Sleep

The value of rest could not be worried sufficient. Being well-rested assists us assume better to ensure that we are better prepared to manage issues as they come up. The majority of grownups need 7 to 9 hrs of rest a night to really feel relaxed. Maintain a journal for a week or more and see just how much rest you need in order to work as well as feel your best.

#13. Save for a Stress Break

Find imaginative ways-from clipping promo codes to avoiding eating in restaurants for a month-to save loan. Take the cash conserved and put it in a vacation fund jar. Even if it is simply a mini-weekend with your spouse or an overnight remain at a medspa with pals, recognizing that you have something to expect aids to relieve anxiety in the moment.

Put Stress in its Place!

Let's admit it, all of us need to handle tension, yet there are actions we could take to aid us take care of stress in a positive way to keep it from making us ill. Exercise these ideas to keep stress in check. Quickly you will certainly locate on your own handling stress-rather compared to stress and anxiety managing you and also your life.

Find More Psychological Health and wellness Resources

#blood type diet #cholesterol diet #detox diet #diet #diverticulitis diet #grapefruit diet #health and wellness #liquid diet #low cholesterol diet #vegan diet #wellness

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groovyllamabouquetuniverse-blog · 6 years ago

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All Americans to be fired from their jobs to do their own Freelancing to make their own Money

Many Americans rely on their salary that is programmed in their minds to receive their check especially at the beginning, but it also seemed to exist on a different plane from a actual job. I worked as hard and as much as I could, and then twice a month a dollar amount materialized in my checking account. My time did not feel tethered to this money. Because of the market downturn on October 11, 2018 the US stock markets closed down sharply again on Thursday, with the Dow Jones Industrial Average dropping 2.13% and the S&P 500 index down 1.96%. It’s the second day of steep drops for US stocks, and the worst start to a trading quarter in nearly two years. US Government have now seize the moment to fire all Americans that are on unneeded jobs, but this would free up cash flow to minimize the national debt. Many years would have to go by to extract full amount on Millions of jobs taken away to decrease $21 Trillion however employees history in their career on their resume would have to freelance and build their own jobs and income stream and will no longer be programmed in their minds to receive their paychecks to pay their bills and would have to build up that desired salary.

But once I started freelancing, things changed. I became hyperconscious of how much money I could (or should) charge for my time, and this made me unhappy and mean when my nonworking hours didn’t measure up to the same value. It was akin to the rage of watching cab fare tick up while you’re sitting in traffic, minutes and dollars dribbling away before your eyes. A freelancer friend recently commiserated: “I went outside to get coffee and ran into three different neighbors who wanted to chit-chat. I wanted to scream, ‘For every word that comes out of your mouth, I’m losing money!’”

The upside of becoming aware of the time/money connection is that I got better at managing my finances and asking for bigger fees — a good thing, especially when compared to how lackadaisical I’d been in this department previously. But I was also stressed out. I started sleeping less, and I stopped hanging out with my friends as much as I wanted. And I would sometimes fall apart completely, frittering away a Saturday in bed and feeling horrible about it.

New research explains the psychology behind my state of mind: People who attach dollar signs to their time — or “value time like money” — tend to be overwhelmingly less happy than those who don’t, because their nonworking hours suddenly seem less important. “Free” time gets tainted with guilt because there’s a cost associated with it.

Many Americans fall into this trap. A 2016 study found that 63 percent of respondents valued money over time, while the smaller percentage of people who valued time over money reported greater well-being than the larger group. This correlation was consistent even after researchers controlled for factors like income — which complicates the assumption that prioritizing time over money is a luxury that only rich people can afford.

As the economy moves away from traditional salaried jobs and toward contract gigs, more and more people are starting to feel like I did. Other studies found that billing by the hour — no matter how much people charged — compounded the tendency to view time and money as one and the same. Those who did so were less likely to take pleasure in leisure activities, because they were too preoccupied by the opportunity cost of their time. Again, these trends were similar across income levels.

While time versus money anxiety may be more acute for freelancers, we aren’t the only ones who struggle with it. In a recent survey of 2.5 million Americans across all socioeconomic strata, 80 percent of respondents said that they didn’t have enough time to do what they wanted every day. Psychologist Ashley Whillans, a professor at the Harvard Business School who researches “time poverty” (also known as the feeling of running 20 minutes late to everything in your life), attributes this to an increasingly volatile job landscape. “Most people don’t have the same jobs for 10 or 15 years like previous generations did, which leads to a feeling of financial insecurity,” she says. “It isn’t about how financially secure you really are, or how much money you have in the bank, but how financially secure you feelthat predicts whether you are willing to give up time to have more money.”

If valuing money over time is making us sad and paranoid, how do we stop? The solution, Whillans suggests, lies in changing your approach to time “off.” It may be too late to decouple time and money in our brains, especially when finances feel tight, but we can lean into that. “If we’re already in the time-is-money mindset, we can reframe our leisure time as something that enables us to be more productive in the future,” says Whillan. “When we’re conditioned to think of all our time as ‘on the clock,’ leisure time feels abstract and unsatisfying. But if we tell ourselves that leisure time is another means to achieve that goal or financial outcome, that can make us more likely to take the breaks that we need, enjoy them fully, and be happier in general.” If it helps you to think of it this way, great. But you also have permission to just relax, without worrying about how to improve your productivity when you’re once again hunched over your laptop.

Another trick is to figure out what you’re willing (and can afford) to outsource and what you’d prefer do yourself, says Elizabeth Dunn, a psychology professor at the University of British Columbia. She’s currently researching time-versus-money tradeoffs through an app called Joy that asks users to rate which time-saving expenses make them happiest. (Laundry services rank high, she says, while fast-food purchases do not.) Here, of course, is where income makes a significant difference; not everyone can afford the luxury of ordering out so they can finish another draft of a freelance project.

“Our work does show that buying time, or paying your way out of things that don’t bring you a lot of satisfaction, buffers people against the negative effects of time stress,” explains Dunn. What she does not recommend, however, is sacrificing healthy activities you enjoy in order to make more money, at least when you can help it. “If walking your dog is a fulfilling part of your day but you need to pay someone else to do it in order to work on a boring project, you might reconsider your priorities.” As of now Freelancing would be something US Government look into to decrease the $21 Trillion national debt.

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theskelejournals · 8 years ago

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Entry 42

A few nights ago Paps and I decided to hang out at Undyne’s house. Undyne has this board game that Alphys gave her when she got back from training and we tend to play that for hours just having snacks, cracking jokes, telling stories. It's not a bad way to spend an evening. A lot better than fighting a homicidal flower, heh.

Some time passed and I left the house for a bit, saying I wanted to stretch my legs, and wandered around Waterfall for awhile. Unlike being perpetual day in Snowdin, it's always dark there with only magical plants and the crystals in the cavern's ceiling far above as light. It's really relaxing and my favorite place in all the underground.

Deciding I just wanted some quiet time to myself, I went off to visit my telescope. The Underground’s a pretty safe place, so leaving your things out isn’t ever really a risk. My telescope is always there when I need it. After teleporting there, I looked at it for a moment and then up at the ceiling crystals. Sure they weren’t stars, but the sight of them always helped my nerves. Just something about ‘em.

I “stargazed” for a while, recalling the times I'd run away there to either escape job stress or just have some time to myself. It's not a bad to spend some time, even if I've seen every crystal before. Something about it is just relaxing.

I was standing there for a little while before noise brought me back to the present, and I turned to eye a batch of echo flowers skeptically. The motion made my soul skip, and for a moment I didn’t understand why. Then a memory sprung up and it became clear, leaving me staring at the shifting, whispering flowers silently. Frozen.

Eight years ago, Gaster and I had set this telescope up. It was a gift for my 15th birthday, a year after I started “working” at the royal labs as his assistant. My birthday had been about a month before then, and with that day off, he decided we should build it. We assembled it together right in this very spot, laughing and messing around with the pieces to get it just right. When it was finally built, the both of us couldn’t stop ourselves from just looking through it and grinning. Gaster was just as excited about it as I was. It was pretty great.

Then there was noise. I heard it first, looking over curiously at the sea of shifting, glowing plants. Someone was running through the echo flowers, which wasn’t really that rare. I was just trying to see if it was someone I knew. Gaster turned too, only to suck in a breath a moment later as a head of brown hair burst through the foliage.

He was in front of me immediately. A hand stretched to the side opposite side, glowing blue, and a box of bones surrounded the human girl that had paused in front of us. She was panting, eyes wide as she stared up at my father, drawing her arms in gracefully away from the bones.

“Stay back, Sans,” he ordered hastily after I had reached forward to cling to his arm, staring as I hid behind him.

“Wait, please!” she called. “Please mister, listen--”

“I don’t know how you got here, child,” Gaster said shakily, and it was then that I noticed that despite how he stood straight, his hand was trembling. “But... I can’t allow you to step closer. You will not come near me or my son.”

“No, listen! Please sir! You’re the most human looking monster here!” Gaster paused as if struck, taken aback. Staring. “I'm not trying to hurt either of you, or anyone, please. I just want to go home. I fell, somewhere far back there, and… and I’ve avoided the dogs but please, I just want to go home.” She stopped for a moment, fighting for words, to get him to listen. “The stories can’t be completely true, right? Isn’t there another way out? I won’t tell anyone if there is, I swear! You have my word!”

I had never seen Gaster stand so still, just. Staring before. There was a long stretch of silence between them before he blinked, furrowing his brow and frowning. I'm not sure the child could see it, but there was pain in his expression.

“I’m.” He sighed, shoulders sinking, but he never moved otherwise. He held his ground, the bones still up, still shielding me with himself. “I’m sorry. There’s nothing I can do for you.”

“There’s really no other way?” She asked, looking at him balefully as her own shoulders fell.

“dad?” My voice had been a whisper, but I couldn’t just stay quiet. Gaster’s jaw worked, closing his eyes tight, and he shook his head slowly before looking back up.

“The only way out of the Underground for a human is for them to take a monster soul with them through the barrier. You would have to kill to be free. Just like the rest of us.”

Her eyes stretched wide, a hand going to her mouth.

“Kill, but I… I can’t. I can’t…”

Gaster opened his mouth to speak, but before he could, the clacking of metal and barking sounded. All three of us jumped at the noise of the guards arriving.

“Dr. Gaster, sir! You caught her!” One called as the group of four approached. The girl stiffened.

“I… yes.” Keeping the bones up, Gaster turned to face them. He was still frowning.

“Did she harm you, sir? Your son?”

“No. Nothing of the sort.”

“Thank the angel,” one of the others huffed. “She’s the 5th soul we need. You can release her now, we’ll take her the rest of the way to His Majesty.”

“No,” Gaster said sharply, making me look up in surprise. Then he softened. “No… that’s quite alright.” The guards looked at him in confused shock before he looked toward me. “Sans, stay with the royal guards, alright? I’ll be back shortly.”

“Sir?” One guard inquired.

Gaster lowered his hand to his side and the bones dropped. He met the dog’s gazes, but it was forced. “Remain here until I return. I’ll escort the girl to Asgore myself.“

“Uh, yes, of course,” the same dog said slowly, brow furrowed in conflict. “Are you sure you don’t--”

“I have the situation under control,” he assured, his tone calling for no more questions. Looking toward the human girl, out of the guard’s line of sight, I saw him give her a look. It was an apology, an ask for forgiveness. Sorrow. Guilt. “Child?”

The girl stepped forward, coming to Gaster's side without a word, her eyes down. He didn’t take ahold of her to move her along or anything, he kept his hands to himself and spoke authoritatively but gently. He simply nodded, glanced at me one more time.

“I'll be back soon, son.” Then he turned and started toward Hotland. The girl stayed right by his side. She knew her fate, and even then she didn’t fight. She could have hurt us, but she didn’t. She could have ran again. But she didn’t. She could have killed anyone to break herself free.

But she didn’t.

It wasn’t until later that I heard whispers of this human’s integrity. For roughly a week, Gaster didn’t smile, didn’t really laugh. He was quiet, he did what he needed to at work, he held us close, but he was sullen. His own integrity had been challenged and left him scarred. He didn’t tell me what happened after they left, all he said was he brought her to Asgore like he said he would. But his eyes held pain, conflict. I knew my father, and he wasn’t the kind for unneeded violence. I also knew he never liked discussing matters of the barrier and the human souls before either. His conversation about meddling with DT back when the machine was mere scratches on paper helped further prove it. He never wanted to harm humans, harm anyone, in the first place. It wasn’t his nature.

My recollection was broken as a yellow monster kid in a frumpy sweater broke out from the flowers, falling on his face with a yelp. The flowers around him joined in with the sound, making me softly cringe.

“uh. you ok kid?” I asked, ignoring the words repeated seconds later. “heh. didn’t expect anyone to drop in on me here.”

“Oh!” He shoved back up on his feet, giving me a toothy, near embarrassed grin. “Yeah! I’m ok! Happens all the time! Thanks though, gotta go!” With that, the kid ran off toward the direction of Snowdin. I watched for a moment longer, then looked at my telescope, the echo flowers, then sighed. Well. That was enough activity for me.

I teleported back in front of Undyne’s house not long after. My trip for some alone time was enlightening, but it brought back things I didn’t expect. As many memories as I’d gotten back, there were still some that took me off guard.

“What took you so long, punk?” Undyne asked when I stepped back inside. “We finished the game without you.”

“oh, you know, just got a little board and started talking to the flowers.”

Pap groaned and Undyne looked like she was ready to throw her tea in my face. We started another game, one that Undyne won and Papyrus called shenanigans on, then settled down and watched one of Mettaton’s new show premieres to finish the night.

Thinking back on it, that was the only time I’ve ever seen a human. I’d heard stories sure, but I’d never seen one up close. And this girl, the young human roughly my height with a frilly pink tutu, didn’t look anything like the merciless creatures I’d heard they were. She was scared, lost, seeking help. But most of all, she was unwilling to go against her honesty, even when faced with death. I think we can all take a bit to learn from that.

The fifth one. Six if you count the fallen prince ages ago. I just hope she had fun down here while she could. Don’t know how much fun you could have running from guards, but I know after their exchange, Gaster wasn’t cruel to her. That’s not how he was. If he was fighting with anything that day, it was his own broken and torn integrity from following what he thought was right versus following orders from the King of Monsters himself. - Sans

#undertale #sans #gaster #papyrus #undyne #blue soul #tw death implied #journalverse #sansjournal2

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russellthornton · 6 years ago

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15 Signs of Low Self-Esteem in a Woman that Can Sabotage Your Life

Struggling with self-confidence is something we all go through, but sometimes we don’t even realize it. These are the signs of low self-esteem in a woman.

It is important to know the signs of low self-esteem in a woman, both personally and for those who are important to us, so that we can help in any way we can.

No matter if you are a teenager, young adult, or in your forties or fifties, we all face issues with self-esteem. Often we recognize it. We have a bad hair day, we wake up with a zit, or just have a blah day.

But sometimes we fool ourselves into believing our self-esteem is at its peak when in fact we show signs of low self-esteem. It is important to be self-aware, so that we can fight back and regain our confidence. [Read: How to build your self-esteem and love your life]

What is low self-esteem in a woman?

Low self-esteem is a lack of belief in yourself. And that can be for one aspect of your life or everyone. Someone may be full of confidence at work but second guess themselves when it comes to relationships or vice versa.

Think back to your awkward years, perhaps in grade school. Maybe you had braces, bad skin, wore your sibling’s old clothes. That time period may be something you look back on and see your low self-esteem waving like a flag. But as you mature, low self-esteem becomes a bit more difficult to spot.

We grow in certain aspects of our lives and build up faith that we will be successful. And if we don’t, we at least act as if we do in order to get through the work week.

That is why identifying low self-esteem in a woman can be difficult. We are taught not to show it, and it can actually come off as if we are conceited rather than struggling with our self-confidence. [Read: How to be happy in life and live it to the fullest]

Why do women get low self-esteem?

Just like teenagers, women get low self-esteem from both internal and external factors. Bullying, family drama, a dysfunctional relationship, and of course mental illness like anxiety and depression surge low self-esteem as well.

You may struggle with thinking you are unlovable if you have had nothing but bad relationships. You may have low self-esteem if you had a strained relationship with your parents. And childhood bullying can bring up a lot of confidence issues, even for a strong and independent career woman.

The signs of low self-esteem in a woman

But, what does low self-esteem look like? Sure, it can be obvious. A woman may be down and question herself in every aspect of life. She may hate shopping, not put effort into her appearance, or try to set goals in her career.

Often, signs of low self-esteem in a woman are quite a bit more subtle.

#1 A need for attention. Many women with low self-esteem crave attention in any way they can. That can be through the affection of men, stealing someone’s ideas at work, or crying at every office party.

I know it sounds bad. Low self-esteem can lead to very neurotic behavior that is hard to describe. You may think someone who doesn’t think highly of themselves would simply change. It is not so easy. [Read: The 12 signs you’re an attention seeker and don’t even know it]

#2 A pessimistic attitude. Yes, some women with low self-esteem will crave attention. Others will dwell on the negatives of every situation. Instead of looking at the bright side they will always consider the worst possible outcome.

They will go into a date thinking it will end badly. Or they have a negative attitude towards an interviewer because they doubt they have a chance at the job they want, and they will likely try to bring you down with them. If you are going on a date, instead of saying “I’m excited for you,” they may say, “Good luck, hope you don’t have to sneak out of the bathroom window.” [Read: How to deal with the Negative Nancy in your life]

#3 A lack of drive. Many women with high self-esteem always have new goals to reach. They graduate college, head to grad school, land a great job, but in a few years, their eyes are on a better one.

Someone with low self-esteem may stay in a low-paying job beneath their abilities simply because they don’t have the guts or belief that they can do more.

#4 A follower’s attitude. A sign of low self-esteem in a woman is following. A woman with low self-esteem may struggle to make her own choices. She will shop based on what someone she looks up to is wearing.

She will mimic others to try to better herself rather than owning who she is.

#5 Self-sabotage. Low self-esteem is a tricky thing. It sounds easy to follow the direction your life is headed and appreciate any good things that come along. But someone with low self-esteem may unintentionally sabotage their own happiness.

Say a woman with low self-esteem is in a healthy relationship, she may subconsciously be afraid that her partner will leave her. So instead of talking to him about it or even looking at the facts, she may cause a fight or break up with him before he can hurt her. [Read: 12 ways people sabotage their happiness and ruin their own lives]

#6 Blame. Those with low self-esteem do not always realize that that is what they are struggling with. In fact, they may be in denial. Instead, they blame others for any struggles in their life.

They may blame their parents for not having a better education, their spouse for their happiness, their kids for their career, etc.

#7 Low standards. Remember that movie He’s Just Not That Into You? The lead character in that movie put up with a bunch of crappy boyfriends because she didn’t realize she deserved a guy who would respect her and appreciate her.

Her self-esteem was low so she put up with crumbs when she deserves a stack of freshly baked cookies. [Read: Why lowering your standards will only bring you crappy relationships]

#8 Bullying. Ahhh… the sucker of all signs of low self-esteem in a woman, bullying. Sometimes high school never ends. Some women struggling with self-esteem issues take it out on others.

It could be women they are jealous of, women they see themselves in, or really anyone they feel they can get away with putting down. This is nothing new. We always hear that bullies put others down to make themselves feel better. Of course, it is immature, childish, and not at all effective, but like it or not, it still happens.

#9 Laziness. Some people assume that women who put effort into their appearance must be struggling with low self-esteem. But, that is not always the case. Many women who wear makeup, are interested in fashion, etc., have a fair amount of confidence and let these interests show that off.

However, a sign of low self-esteem in a woman is laziness about her appearance. Of course, some women just don’t care or simply don’t have the time to, but low self-esteem can make you question why you should bother with things like makeup or fancy clothes.

#10 Guilt. Saying I’m sorry is a common thing a lot of women need to learn to let go of, but especially women with low self-esteem. Low self-esteem can make you feel unwanted and unneeded.

If you interrupt a meeting to ask a question and apologize, you may be struggling with low self-esteem. Your question was likely very insightful, but for some reason, you felt the need to apologize for your place in that meeting. [Read: 20 signs of insecurity people can’t hide when they feel insecure]

#11 A desire for sympathy. Who has it worse? I remember playing this game with friends in high school. You may say, “I have two AP classes and a job and play soccer and have two tests Friday,” while your friend counters with, “I have three AP classes, an SAT seminar, play soccer, am in the band, and babysit.”

Competing over who has it worse in order to gain sympathy is not just about discussing who is more stressed, but about gaining attention through sorrow and pity.

#12 Spoiling. I had a friend in high school who was the sweetest girl. However, a lot of people found her annoying because she would involve herself in other people’s lives, ask loads of questions, and even go out of her way to buy people gifts that she barely knew.

But, being the person I am, I saw her behavior for what it was; low self-esteem. She didn’t think anyone would accept her for who she was so she bought people gifts, baked people treats, and went over the top to do things for other people, even those that didn’t appreciate it. [Read: Why am I so insecure? 20 reasons why you care much more than others]

#13 Withdrawal. Yes, sometimes at a party, you just feels like chilling in the corner with the host’s puppy, but if you or a friend consistently withdraw from socializing, you may have low self-esteem.

One of the signs of low self-esteem in a woman is the feeling of not fitting in and instead of trying, you just stay back on your own. You may even tell yourself that if you deserve attention or if these people want to hang out with you, they will seek you out.

#14 Bragging. Much like bullying, bragging is a way people with low self-esteem temporarily boost their ego. They brag about their new car, cool stereo system, or gorgeous baby, but they are likely struggling with a lot you don’t know about.

People who are happy with their lives and themselves don’t feel the need to brag. [Read: Your guide to not giving a fuck and having more laughs]

#15 Agreeable. Being a pushover is a sign of low self-esteem in a woman. Going along with the group and never speaking up or sharing your opinion is a way those struggling with their confidence remain unseen.

Someone with low self-esteem doesn’t want to make a big deal, they don’t want to ruffle feathers, or break from the status quo. So by agreeing with where everyone wants to go to dinner, where your partner wants to move, or that your boss promoted your less qualified coworker, you put yourself down.

Remember if you do struggle with low self-esteem, your feelings are valid. We all have crappy days. And no one is 100% confident all the time. But you deserve to believe in yourself. You deserve to try your hardest. You deserve to be treated better and have friends that truly care.

If you do struggle with depression, anxiety, or severely low self-esteem, reach out to a trained professional for guidance and therapy. You can live your life to the fullest and truly have faith in yourself.

[Read: How to empower and take care of yourself as a woman]

If you display these signs of low self-esteem in a woman, you can grow and gain more confidence. Or if you recognize these signs in a woman you know, a kind gesture or just a simple compliment will help.

The post 15 Signs of Low Self-Esteem in a Woman that Can Sabotage Your Life is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

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nomadmanager · 7 years ago

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What Happened To Jen Horn? : The Year And A Half That Has Passed - A 2016 Review (and 2017 so far)

For a long time, I stopped writing. I stopped writing for me.

Apart from my annual review/preview + letter to self, there was not much other writing I’ve done for personal release (as people did back in the Livejournal days, for those of you old enough to know it) in the past 4-5 years. And I’m months overdue on this year’s letter to self and my 2016-2017 review/preview.

What’s held me back all this time (apart from the excuse we like to tell ourselves that we’re busy, etc.) is that I was avoiding writing things down, largely because I was afraid to admit to myself of how little I had accomplished of the goals I had set for myself in 2016, and furthermore, how little I knew of what I wanted to happen in 2017. I was hiding from the world because I didn’t want to have to admit failure or be forced to aspire to do more merely because of social pressure (even when that was imagined).

About a week ago, I started a half-assed effort of writing again. I wrote word vomit that I kept to myself, because I feared judgment from those who might read my words. I would be exposing my private, personal thoughts that I felt have nothing to do with the work I do, and I felt it would do little to help others in the world. I was still hiding.

But then, I’ve always felt and written differently when I imagined at least one another person reading my words, so I thought it was still essential that I post this publicly. And who knows, maybe you can relate to it a little bit and find a nugget or two to be useful in your own life.

And to give myself added courage, I reminded myself:

“Jen, this is for your personal blog. Who cares what other people think? You’re afraid they’ll judge you because you were fearless enough to put your honest pain, joy, fears and dreams (or lack thereof) out there for their possible consumption? Then they have a problem, not you. This is your space. Use it for your catharsis if you wish. There are plenty of other places in cyberspace where they can choose to spend their time. If they don’t like your self-indulgent whining or whatever, and yet they continue on reading, then they’re the idiots, aren’t they?”

And so, here we are. You may go, or you may stay.

If you choose to stay, prepare for a looooot of possibly incoherent word vomit about what’s been up with Jen Horn (though I tried to organize the following 4,000 words a bit) and a looooot of my personal story and feelings. If you go, ciao.

THE YEAR (AND A HALF) THAT HAS PASSED ^ That being considered, this post is still pretty short.

So much has happened since the beginning of 2016, and simultaneously, it also seems I was stuck in certain aspects of my life. If you’ve wondered what’s been happening with Jen Horn lately, here it is.

For a good part of the past year and a half, I spent it wavering, doubting what I ought to do next with Muni, and my life in general. It was obvious to me that I remained lost in figuring out the right business model to keep running it sustainably without sacrificing values of sustainability and social good. It was also clear to me that I was losing the steam I once had in the earlier stages of Muni – back when it was an informal movement, up to its earlier stages as a formal institution.

ACT 1: GERMAN WINTER & MANILA SPRING (CLEANING)

The DO (and Don’t) School + Dealing with Cancer

I had joined The DO School’s Entrepreneurship for Good program in January 2016 in Berlin with the hopes to get clarity and growth for Muni. Instead, the unintended effect of it making me reassess things, is that it made me cast greater doubt in Muni and in my desire and motivation to continue with the status quo vs. going off to start something anew.

While I was in Berlin, in February, about a week after my birthday, I found out my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer. I tried to be there for my mom, even as I was 10,000 km away. More importantly, I tried talking to my dad, so that he could support her vs. stress her out, because I do know how they can get, especially when they don’t see eye to eye and want to impose their own ways on the other.

Upon my return to Manila from Berlin in March, I dove right into family + work -- with my mother’s dilemma on how to deal with her cancer + MUNI Market 2016 already pre-scheduled to happen in Nuvali in May.

If you were in my wormy brain in late 2015, then you’ll know I had already been rethinking Muni back then. So by this time in 2016, I was becoming increasingly fatigued by the thought of the work, wanted a more full time team but couldn’t afford it (nor commit to affording it), and I missed creating and traveling and doing things for me. And frankly, my mom’s situation made me rethink my own life and what I valued while I was trying to help her realize what brought her meaning in her life.

Healing of the body (which we did explore with several doctors) has a lot to do with healing the mind and heart, through meditation and such (not as popular with most doctors, if not done alongside other conventional means), and I was exploring some of that with her from April to June with various meditation apps, books, checking out some local meditation classes or retreats. She wasn’t into all of that, save for the occasional Headspace session, but I tried to lighten her psychological-emotional burden or stress when I could, even in other ways like just talking (or listening) to her.

On Firing Up Motivation vs. Being A Vegetable

Shortly after the Muni Market concluded on May 21, we also organized a Muni Meetup on Motivation on June 9, to revitalize demotivated dreamers and doers who we believed should still have the courage to go on.

The truth is, it was as much for myself as it was for the Muni community. And even when we got raving feedback about how it encouraged and inspired attendees to act boldly and soldier on, it did not seem enough to lift my own spirits. I felt like I lacked the motivation to go on and I didn’t know how to gain it back. I had called for a planning meeting with my core team after that meetup. However, instead of discussing next steps, I wound up breaking down in unexpected tears. I asked what would happen to Muni without me? Would they soldier on? And is it even really valuable or was I just being self-important?

For two weeks in June 2016, I was pretty much a vegetable. I went on ridiculous Netflix binges, until I finally resolved to get my shit together. I de-cluttered my physical and mental spaces; sold more of my unwanted / unneeded belongings; booked myself in a Vipassana meditation retreat in August (because ironically, while exploring meditation more for my mom, I found that I was revisiting it more for me too), all to help me really reassess what I valued.

ACT 2: SPANISH SUMMER

Eat, Pray, Love (in 17 days, with parents – lol)

The 10th to the 27th of July 2016 would also find me in a surprise trip to Europe, a 17-day whirlwind trip through some parts of Spain (Barcelona, Madrid, Seville), France (Lourdes) and Portugal (Lisbon, Fatima) with my parents. They had been initially scheduled to go with other friends in March, but had to postpone the trip when they found out about my mom’s diagnosis.

Worried about traveling alone with my dad, my mom wanted a younger and more travel-savvy person to accompany them (since they were no longer traveling with their other friends), and I suddenly found myself in the continent again. It was not a trip I was supposed to be on. And while the thought of going around Europe (this time on holiday) was appealing, I was also worried about extended travel with my parents given our history of stressful family trips.

Somehow, we survived each other. It was a relatively stress-free family trip considering the duration of the trip, unfamiliarity with the countries, and constant moving around. It was actually really good.

The Day I Had For Me

In the days leading up to the end of the trip though, I felt myself getting antsier, not because of parental squabbles, but more of just me wanting some of my own time away from them during this trip.

And so, on day 15, I managed to find a long stretch of alone time, and meet someone (let’s call him L) who would largely shape the year to come. I’ll spare you the cheesy details, suffice it to say, it was a connection that I had never had before. And we were determined to see each other again somehow. Maybe the next summer, who knew?

More Days I Made For Me

On the 27th of July, I left Spain, and by August 3, I would finally push through with a 10-day Vipassana Meditation Retreat, after 4 years of putting it off.

I had hoped I would get me more balance, clarity on Muni and what I want to do with my life. What I emerged clear about was that I wanted to go back to Europe before the year was over. If the connection I made with L was still present (or stronger). It was. And so I made plans to.

Not long after I had gotten out of Vipassana (a few days after), he also paid me a surprise visit in the Philippines for a week. It was possibly one of the happiest times of my life.

“I think anybody who falls in love is a freak. It’s a crazy thing to do. It’s kind of like a form of socially accepted insanity.” – Amy, Her (2013)

And so, I told my closest friends and my Muni team about our story, and my intention to go see him for a couple of months. They were supportive of the insane pursuit of love, and agreed to hold the fort from November 1 to January 11, as we only had one scheduled meetup for December.

I kept the reasons for my trip from majority of the population secret because I still find it mildly cringe-worthy that I, Jen Horn, strong, independent woman who doesn’t need a man per se and has her own thing going for her, would travel that far, and essentially put her life on hold for a couple of months for a boy, well, a man, but you know, a boy.

But it was the only thing that made sense in life at the time.

From August to October 2016, I would then run a few more events for Muni (our scheduled workshop series) and do some marketing/event consultancy, while also selling more stuff on Carousell to augment my income and declutter at the same time, and spending as much time with family as I could.

ACT 3: ITALIAN FALL

A Life Without Muni

For a long time (read: about a decade, give or take – so yeah, a long-ish time), I’ve gone back and forth between with the desire to live for something greater than myself, and the desire to live according to my whims and desires, or whatever I thought they could be, even if it was: “to get by through life with as little effort as possible”.

To create something greater than one’s self requires commitment, something I wasn’t sure I still wanted to give by the time I had my mini-meltdown in June, as I felt like maybe I wanted to do different things already. They (motivational speakers, life coaches, and peddlers of The Secret) say we can attain what we want for as long as we have clarity, or a solid purpose. I wasn’t sure if I wanted the same things I thought I wanted before.

In 2012, when I had my pre-Muni quarter life crisis, I thought I had found it when I came up with Muni. I wanted to be a brainwasher for the good of the planet. I wanted to share what accessible solutions were out there so regular folks could shop, eat, travel and live more sustainably by creating content, a community, and a gathering similar to what the Muni Market has become today.

I wanted to connect like-minded individuals, and start conversations that paved the way for paradigm shifts and an empowered way of thinking of our impact, in spite of the bleak state of the planet. I wanted people to rethink their preconceptions, speech, habits and behaviors, and in turn, influence others to take up more conscious choices as well.

That was good enough for me.

It would seem that I had more or less accomplished what I sought to do with Muni (though it didn’t help that I didn’t set quantifiable goals from the beginning), but generally, I felt at peace with moving on. Doing more consultancy work instead of forcing the issue on getting cash sponsorships for Muni events. There’s a lot of other things I could do with my skill set and my network in the Philippines that could provide more decent pay with less risk (because I wouldn’t be independently mounting an event and just praying it break even).

The Blue Pill

From the time I left Berlin in March to my mini-meltdown in June, I hadn’t figured it out. I gave myself time to think about it more. Besides, I had other things that were keeping me happy in the meantime.

I was off to Europe to spend time with someone who made me feel the happiest I had felt so far. I was high and hopeful.

Normally, I’m guarded when it comes to matters of the heart. I don’t immediately let people in. Neither do I immediately go all out. So, the fact that I let my guard down so easily when we met, quieted my normally over-analytic mind, and traveled 12,000km with the sole purpose of spending time (2 months!) with someone I had spent not more than 8 days with at that point, was crazy.

I had no clue what I would do in Europe apart from be with him and learn more about his daily life, his work, his family, and try to expand my network in Spain (and Europe in general) and look for potential work opportunities. (Admittedly, the efforts I did for the latter were half-assed, and I know I could have tried harder.)

We had a glorious time. In November, we spent a couple of days in Paris (then I spent some days with the Philippine delegation for COP22 in Marrakech), and several days in Naples, Rome and Venice, until finally going back to Madrid where we played house for a little over a month. It was one of the best times of my life, up until the final days before my pending departure, when we dread having to be apart.

From the get-go, a long distance relationship was not something either of us wanted. And prior to me going to Europe in November, neither of us had really thought through what I might be doing on that side of the world. Between L and I, he had the more stable gig, which required him to be in the continent. So the question was always, what would I do in Europe if I moved there?

The Red Pill

I still had a lot of what I felt was unfinished business with Muni, and with my country in general. We still had the upcoming Muni Market in 2017, and I wasn’t quite ready to let it go yet.

Other things I was considering earlier in 2016 included the possibility of further studies on Environmental Psychology in the UK (if I managed to get a scholarship), and other creative pursuits like content creation, painting and such, which I could technically do from wherever.

But assuming I got the scholarship, I would have wanted to apply those lessons in the Philippines too. And I still have a hard time aligning with the idea that I could make money with creative personal work vs. doing mindful marketing consultancy or other things related to the work I did with Muni. And for consultancy projects, it would be easier to get them in a country where I’ve already built a considerable network and reputation (and in a country whose language I actually speak).

So as my stay in Europe was coming to a close, and I had no answers yet, I was sad and worried. But I remained hopeful that what L and I had was strong and that we would figure it out.

ACT 4: TROPICAL DEPRESSION

The Beauty of the Philippines

When I got back to Manila in January 2017, I actively did the pre-work I needed to do for Muni Market 2017 set in April. Good news also came when my mother’s PET scan came out clear.

In February, my love for traveling within the Philippines was re-established when I spent some time with the parents and accompanied them on short trips to Quirino province, and Bagac, Bataan, and also in Subic for a forum on Responsible Travel, which also showcased some great things happening in the country, travel-wise.

It just made me re-realize that, damn, there really is so much to see here, and there’s so much work I could do here too. On top of all that, that month, I found out that I didn’t get the scholarship I had hoped for, and work opportunities I had applied for also fizzled out – less reasons to be in the Europe.

With a renewed appreciation for the beauty of my own country (in spite of the political mess and the bad rep we may have with foreigners as a result), and without clearer opportunities in Europe, doubt had begun to creep into what I previously thought was a stronger fortress that L and I built.

No matter where I went traveling or for however long, I would always regard the Philippines as home. And it seems that even if I did find something to do in Europe and managed to do some work in the Philippines (remotely for a large part), no compromise could be made for me to spend even a couple of months in the year back home.

The Unknown

We also did (or didn’t do) certain things that made our relationship stand on less solid ground, like not having a definitive date to see each other again, or making plans but having work constantly get in the way, or simply not being as present (even virtually) for each other. It didn’t help that we would have these conversations over Skype calls (or worse, through What’s App messages) vs. in person where we could kiss and make up to make each other feel less shitty. Repeatedly watching La La Land did not help either.

There was also the issue of kids, which had been brought up before but not thoroughly discussed. While L would say he didn’t know where in the world he would be or what exactly he would be doing in a couple of years (he claimed he was not a planner like that), one thing he knew for sure was that he wanted to have kids eventually, whenever that would be.

I’ve never been comfortable with the idea of having my own children, so much so that I’d already told my mother years back not to expect any grandchildren from me. Though admittedly, he made me start considering it, thinking maybe I just hadn’t met the right person at the right time in my life yet. This is not to say that I now actually wanted children, or that he was necessarily the right person, or this was the right time, but he actually made me start to really rethink something I thought I had been so sure about for myself.

Lights Out

There were just too many things I would have to reconsider about how I wanted to live my life if we were to make things work. And so, with all these things combined, the fire that burned twice as bright, burned twice as fast. And before February was over, we had decided to break it off.

We busied ourselves with work, coped with the pain of the loss in our own ways. I thought I was okay; I remained fairly productive in the first couple of weeks of breaking up.

Then I struggled with a major logistical / organizational issue for the upcoming Muni Market (a month before it was scheduled to happen), and this really, really stressed me out for at least a good week. And after discussions with the concerned parties left the issue unresolved, I experienced something akin to a panic attack.

At some point during that ordeal, I posted “This too shall pass” as a status on Facebook, which prompted L to ask me if I was okay. I wasn’t.

And while I was glad he was concerned, it also opened an emotional floodgate. I couldn’t imagine life without him. We chatted a bit, but tried to keep some distance. I binged on This Is Us. I sent him a heartfelt email, and we agreed to go on a call when the craziness of the Muni Market was over.

Limbo

Muni Market 2017, with its well-attended and well-received meetups with topics ranging from fashion, communication, food, travel and waste were a success. And the question again was: “When is the next one?”

When is the next one indeed? This was the second year that I ran it thinking, will this be my last one? Is it time to move on? But each time we run it, and we get feedback from the community that it was such a great experience for them, and that we need more of these, it makes me feel like what we do matters.

I constantly wonder if the work we do could essentially be done by some other groups, since from the time Muni was born, more like-minded groups have come up. But I am constantly told there is value here. It’s just about deciding how I might continue to serve the community while harnessing more of the value for myself as well vs. just getting caught up in the work.

Simultaneously, I felt like I made a mistake and broke up with L too soon, without having more discussions or exploring more options or waiting it out a little longer. And so I reached out, asking if we might continue trying. I gave him time to think. We went back and forth again about when we next be able to see each other. It was not an easy time.

From the time we got together, I had to condition my mind about living life one way, and then the other, and back again, and back again, and again, and again. Not knowing where to stand, and an extended feeling of not being on any solid ground is nerve-wracking and insanity-inducing.

Meanwhile, tired of feeling pathetic and taken for granted and generally not liking the person I was becoming, with a prompt to carry on with life without him (while he took more time to think), I did.

I sought opportunities locally, and finally settled on a short-term consultancy project for a sustainable tourism project in El Nido, Palawan from May to June 2017. It kept me busy, like, really busy, that I had almost no time to think about my feelings.

By the time my project contract ended though, I thought it was also more than enough time for me to get a more definitive answer from L if I should stay or I should go. In April, I was ready to drop things to try again with him. But the longer it took for him to decide, the less confident I was that it would be a good decision. Perhaps it was just a refusal to let go of something that represented the happiest I had been so far, and an escape from the world as I know it.

And while the week before another fateful conversation in early July, we were making plans to see each other in August, our conversation was about us having our moment, and losing it. We lost it when we didn’t make firm plans to see each other in May. Or when we couldn’t make plans to see each other in March or April. Or perhaps we lost it earlier, when I left Madrid in January.

Whatever the case may be, it seemed that we were right to break up earlier in February. And we simply regressed when we should have been moving on.

With that sealed, clean and clear, I was on a fierce mission to move on. I made month-long travel plans (to leave within a week in a few days after that conversation), got back on Tinder with a vengeance, and sought comfort in the sea. I’ll save the details of that for ACT 5.

Suffice it to say that travel and the sea helps, and as much as I think I prefer nature vs. people, talking to certain people who you meet along the way helps more – whether it be about your heartbreak, or what you would like to do with your life moving forward, or simply learning from them, about them, and their life experiences. Tinder, not so much. Or if it does help, in my case, it only serves to make me realize what I don’t want (even when I thought it was what I wanted).

After a month of visiting friends and traveling through Negros and Cebu, I’m now back in Manila. I’m on the road to recovery from heartbreak, and hopefully sorting my shit out and getting my act together, as I’ve seen myself experience a Renaissance after going through these types of things. The only way out is through. And hopefully, I emerge from it better and brighter than before.

If you’ve read all the way to the end, thank you for sharing your time. I’ve only started to let you in on the story, and my personal, selfish dilemmas. Perhaps more reflections and insight will follow in succeeding posts.

You may not agree with the choices I made or didn’t make, or how I’ve dealt with things, and you can keep your judgment to yourself. But if you empathize with anything I’ve said, or feel less alone, or possibly more hopeful that things will get better, then I send you love and high fives.

To brighter days ahead, Jen

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