#i know everyone is human and putting people on a pedastel is a recipe for disaster
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unknownersirius · 11 days ago
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Spoke to my idol the other day.
#sirius is rambling again#text post#it's odd#i'd have thought they were just as inaccessible as the others#but they were weirdly chatty and i felt like if i pushed too much they'd grow disinterested#so i kind of gave them a cut-off reply#online of course i don't have irl idols#i know everyone is human and putting people on a pedastel is a recipe for disaster#but i really admired them a lot from afar and figured i'd throw some words of encouragement at them when they were feeling a bit unsure#of themselves#kind of happened on pixiv as well#i thought the language barrier would make it so that i wouldn't be able to communicate with them#but it seems everyone and their mom is bilingual (except me)#and they responded with enthusiasm#it's so strange to me#i keep thinking that i'm basically spunk under a pipe#yet i get humored every now and then by people whose talents i respect#i don't know whether to feel encouraged or somewhat offput#part of me wants or expects my idols to be stuck-up assholes as my childhood idols had been#you know - the ones that would make fun of you for being unsure#but i think every art idol i managed to speak to thus far has been weirdly nice to me specifically#not to say they weren't assholes or groomers or something heinous of the sort#i hope i am not anyone's idol#i had been told that i was in the past and it was a weird responsibility to bear#because it makes the weight of your words multiply#i almost didn't want them to see me as a human or that i made mistakes#so that i could give them some sort of stable footing y'know?#but that was in the apst and they don't even spare me a second thought these days#due to barriers#i wonder if making new accounts like this is how i escape from commitment
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