I know many enjoy the idea of Shin being on top & domming, but have you considered: Shin kneeling in front of Sabine? Have you thought about Shin sucking on Sabine’s strap? Hallowing her cheeks with excess saliva running down her chin? What about Sabine petting through her blonde hair, telling her how much of a good girl she is? Hmmm? Have you considered?
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Can we talk about Eduardo thinking Mark only cared about him for the money vs Eduardo leaving the country as soon as the lawsuit ends (and the settlement is paid), making Mark think that he was only staying for the money?
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I love all of your fics and like the general vibe of them. I can't really like articulate the vibe, but mainly I'm thinking of Mongrel Heart, Help Me Out of the Shape I'm In, The Night We Met, and Is There a Ghost. I love these so much. Weird question, but do you have any book recommendations that are like these fics? I don't know if you've read anything that sort of inspired how you write, but if so, I would love to know them!
I just had so much fun going downstairs and combing through my bookcases, thank you anon
I feel like I'm more inspired by music than I am books, and I'll be honest, as I get older, I read less and less (alas). But when I was younger, all I did was read. Nancy Drew & any fantasy book I could get my hands on as a kid. Then I went through my pretentious phase while working at Barnes & Noble, where I would pick out the most obscure looking fiction books while I scanned the section (this was also my nonfiction phase). Then I got really into mysteries. Now I barely have any attention span and mostly read romance, but otherwise I'm always on the lookout for semi-fantasy/fairytale/creepy vibes sort of things. (If anyone has recommendations for me, I'd gladly take them. Especially creepy novellas. Adore those, as you could probably tell from my list)
Under the cut for actual recs because as usual I cannot shut up:
1. This one is the most direct answer, the semi inspiration for Mongrel Heart - cop goes back to hometown, starts remembering Thing In the Woods.
I love Tana French in general. If I had to pick one author I feel like I took the most inspiration from, it would be her. This one I remember not loving the ending of, but clearly the vibes & general plot stuck with me. I'd actually recommend The Likeness (which I've also thought about jonsa-ing) and The Secret Place.
2. Do I normally vibe with Stephen King? Eh. I only tried to read one of his horror books once, The Shining, and I just could not get into it. But pulp Stephen King?? Yes please. I really dug this mystery, as well as The Colorado Kid a whole lot.
I have read a ton more mystery series, but these stuck with me the most. Shoutout to the foreign mysteries I read back when I liked to torture myself with really depressing things (sjowall & wahloo, indridason, mankell...)
3. If you're just looking for some creepy-vibes books:
(Of note, World More Full of Weeping & Light Boxes I read at least a decade ago in my B&N "buy any weird looking pretentious book" phase, but I remember really liking them, especially World More Full of Weeping. Carnality I read recently. I both hated it and couldn't stop thinking about it.)
4. Fairytail-esque but also with creepy vibes:
(I remember really liking Bear and the Nightingale, have thought of jonsa-ing it, but I'd need to reread it. RIP to my copy of Comfort Me with Apples, I think my friend borrowed it?)
5. Non-fiction that gave me those good good vibes
AND BECAUSE I CANT DO MORE THAN TEN IMAGES HERE ON TUMBLR DOT COM
Not pictured non-fiction:
The Monster of Florence - Douglas Preston & Mario Spezi
Just Kids - Patti Smith (although I did read this when I was deathly ill so that might account for the surreal vibes I got reading it?)
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The greatest injustice ever faced is that I almost certainly started the still thriving "clown husbandry" tag on here, but any discussion about it (from a know your meme page to a youtube video with 500k views) says it's a joke of "unknown origin" or credited to this post, likely bouncing off of mine (which was actively circulating at the time with like 30k notes):
This is a tragedy for many reasons, most of all because it wasn't just an offhand joke but actually a direct response to some of the funniest online hate I ever got:
They're erasing the truest history of tumblr: its desperate need to seethe and argue over every obvious joke with more than 10 notes.
anyways here is the canonical pet clown. according to me
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the thing is that they're so fascinated by sex, they love sex, they can't imagine a world without sex - they need sex to sell things, they need sex to be part of their personality, they need sex to prove their power - but they hate sex. they are disgusted by it.
sex is the only thing that holds their attention, and it is also the thing that can never be discussed directly.
you can't tell a child the normal names for parts of their body, that's sexual in nature, because the body isn't a body, it's a vessel of sex. it doesn't matter that it's been proven in studies (over and over) that kids need to know the names of their genitals; that they internalize sexual shame at a very young age and know it's 'dirty' to have a body; that it overwhelmingly protects children for them to have the correct words to communicate with. what matters is that they're sexual organs. what matters is that it freaks them out to think about kids having body parts - which only exist in the context of sex.
it's gross to talk about a period or how to check for cancer in a testicle or breast. that is nasty, illicit. there will be no pain meds for harsh medical procedures, just because they feature a cervix.
but they will put out an ad of you scantily-clad. you will sell their cars for them, because you have abs, a body. you will drip sex. you will ooze it, like a goo. like you were put on this planet to secrete wealth into their open palms.
they will hit you with that same palm. it will be disgusting that you like leather or leashes, but they will put their movie characters in leather and latex. it will be wrong of you to want sexual freedom, but they will mark their success in the number of people they bed.
they will crow that it's inappropriate for children so there will be no lessons on how to properly apply a condom, even to teens. it's teaching them the wrong things. no lessons on the diversity of sexual organ growth, none on how to obtain consent properly, none on how to recognize when you feel unsafe in your body. if you are a teenager, you have probably already been sexualized at some point in your life. you will have seen someone also-your-age who is splashed across a tv screen or a magazine or married to someone three times your age. you will watch people pull their hair into pigtails so they look like you. so that they can be sexy because of youth. one of the most common pornography searches involves newly-18 young women. girls. the words "barely legal," a hiss of glass sand over your skin.
barely legal. there are bills in place that will not allow people to feel safe in their own bodies. there are people working so hard to punish any person for having sex in a way that isn't god-fearing and submissive. heteronormative. the sex has to be at their feet, on your knees, your eyes wet. when was the first time you saw another person crying in pornography and thought - okay but for real. she looks super unhappy. later, when you are unhappy, you will close your eyes and ignore the feeling and act the role you have been taught to keep playing. they will punish the sex workers, remove the places they can practice their trade safely. they will then make casual jokes about how they sexually harass their nanny.
and they love sex but they hate that you're having sex. you need to have their ornamental, perfunctory, dispassionate sex. so you can't kiss your girlfriend in the bible belt because it is gross to have sex with someone of the same gender. so you can't get your tubes tied in new england because you might change your mind. so you can't admit you were sexually assaulted because real men don't get hurt, you should be grateful. you cannot handle your own body, you cannot handle the risks involved, let other people decide that for you. you aren't ready yet.
but they need you to have sex because you need to have kids. at 15, you are old enough to parent. you are not old enough to hear the word fuck too many times on television.
they are horrified by sex and they never stop talking about it, thinking about it, making everything unnecessarily preverted. the saying - a thief thinks everyone steals. they stand up at their podiums and they look out at the crowd and they sign a bill into place that makes sexwork even more unsafe and they stand up and smile and sign a bill that makes gender-affirming care illegal and they get up and they shrug their shoulders and write don't say gay and they get up, and they make the world about sex, but this horrible, plastic vision of it that they have. this wretched, emotionless thing that holds so much weight it's staggering. they put their whole spine behind it and they push and they say it's normal!
this horrible world they live in. disgusted and also obsessed.
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