#because I still don’t like these fucking ppl
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getting all the education/degrees I can and planning so I can get the fuck out of this country >>>>
#🪷—faerie whispers#because I still don’t like these fucking ppl#done all that yip yapping in my ask box and these ppl still suck#idec who wins#I want out of this hellhole. bc were cooked either way#everybody voting for the wrong reasons anyways so who gives a fuck#I’ve been saving and I plan to get one more degree before I leave#I’ve been heavily considering Japan or Germany#there really isn’t shit here for me#ppl always say ‘wont you have to deal w racism/colorism?’#a cop yelled at me to move my truck out in front of a store even tho I’m on a cane and couldn’t walk far#black men literally have been ignoring and treating me like shit for my entire life since elementary school#trust me when I say nothing could be worse than what I’ve gone through#I’m ready to leave#we have no future under a capitalist society#and a government that no matter what prioritizes war and profit over ppl’s lives#I have no intelligent words for this#I’m truly tired#and for all the dumbasses who were pissed off at me for what I said in august#stay mad bc I have nothing for y’all either#y’all owe Palestinians an apology#they’re the main ones suffering from this ignorance#and we’re next
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#like ffs if i wanted Harry Potter stuff i’d follow a Harry Potter account 😾#even before Rowling went mask off I didn’t consider HP to be sufficiently Halloweeny#but the longer she loudly & proudly reigns as Queen Terf#the less forgiving I am to ppl trying to uncritically shove her IP into more general spaces#if u don’t give her money & just wanna go off into yr separate niche nostalgia corner for fanart & fics u do u#but a lot of us don’t wanna be reminded of that bigot’s existence when we’re just trying to get spooky#and don’t give me the whole ‘but it’s got witches in it so it’s Halloweeny by default’ bs#because if ur bar for Halloween content is ‘there’s witches and/or other magic users in it’ then NEWS FLASH#there’s other fantasy movies & books u could get aesthetic quotes & gif material from#that weren’t made by a still very much alive very actively harmful spokesperson of a hate movement#and the Instagram/TikTok ppl can find different music/sounds to sample#halloween#harry potter critical#fuck jk rowling#fuck jkr#halloween blogs#halloween aesthetic#tw harry potter#tw jkr mention#halloween movies
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Why are ppl scared to call it what it is and say we’re still going thru covid on top of seasonal illness. Like. That’s pretty important right. I was watching the news and they were like oh yeah we have an unprecedented number of flu cases “as well as other sicknesses” without actually saying Covid. No announcement abt vaccinations or masking or anything. Also if I hear someone joking abt “war flashbacks” for mentioning covid I fucking hate u
#source: most of my family members are nurses and it was so bad for one of them they had to be put on a ventilator. in the hospital they#worked at. looking back I think I had a reason to feel a little offput by the shows of support early pandemic#with people tying blue ribbons around trees and lighting signs blue to support healthcare workers#I get that it was supposed to be moral support when we couldn’t do anything but follow health advisories#and it did matter to make them feel uplifted and do something than nothing. im not gonna deny that#but. you can still help now. u know that right. you still have a responsibility here#u can still mask up. u can still get vaxxed and call in sick to avoid infecting others#don’t leave it on healthcare workers to pick up the pieces just because they were doing it before. do u think they had a choice?#nobody likes picking up the slack for someone else and now that we have more tools to do smth couldn’t we just. do it????#im not a virologist but i also feel like continuing to let it get worse by letting more mutations develop#could continue to set us back since this virus is pretty good at fucking us up long term and finding new ways to do that#while there are ppl still researching covid which is STILL A RELATIVELY NEW VIRUS. and studying possible treatment and cures#yapping#vent
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god i wish i was hot and charismatic but instead i’m quiet and off putting
#toast text posts#i know this isn’t a thing i should care about#and there’s literally no way to change it#because being charismatic takes too much energy#but damn#people just like charismatic hot ppl#me i gotta work so hard#anyway blah blah#i wish tumblr was still the site where ppl posted over sharing personal posts#i got two mutuals who keep up the noble tradition#why am i sad#also im a hypocrite cuz i am hot..#but nobody notices!! cuz my vibes r very much ‘don’t fucking look at me’
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god i cannot wait to be off these steroids…
#marzi speaks#marzivents#<- it’s late n i’m kinda pent up abt this#i’m so TIRED of themmmm#i’m probs gonna be on them for the rest of the year. which SUCKSSS#i don’t like how many ppl comment on the moon face#i don’t mind it. like i look in a mirror and i’m okay.#it’s a little weird. but like. just because it’s different. like getting used to a new haircut#but every time i see someone for the first time in a bit it’s ‘woah your face got rounder’#and i have to go ‘oh yeah it’s water retention- steroids thing it’ll go away when i’m able to go off ‘em’#and they go ‘oh alright :) you still look good btw don’t worry’#and i just. i HATE how people talk about it!! like jfc. it’s so clear that they think it’s like kinda sad#my dad said he thinks it’s cute and he’s the only one i actually think is telling the truth there#my mom and i agree that it doesn’t matter. but even then she tries to tell me not to panic#like a little extra squish in my face is something to panic over#it’s so clear that so many people see it as another thing to pity#oh poor thing. has that chronic illness for the rest of her life. and the steroids made her jaw look rounder :(#like jfc i knew fatphobia was prevalent but come the fuck on. literally i’m like barely retaining water for steroids too#like. i’m still very much skinny (i JUST finished being malnourished ffs) but bc i’m retaining water in my face#now ppl feel the need to comfort me. over this tiny cosmetic thing that does not matter#like. i wouldn’t feel weird abt it if it weren’t for everyone else making it such a THING. why is everyone so weird about it#i’m not insecure about it but when ppl try to comfort me or go ‘it’s not that bad’ it makes me feel like i’m SUPPOSED to be insecure abt it#and it drives me NUTS. bc there are things about being on steroids that i would love to be comforted about#but the water retention is not one of them. i couldn’t give a rat’s ass about the water retention#y’know what i’d like to be comforted over? the mood swings. the irritability. the insomnia. the appetite fluctuation#the slow healing of skin. thinning and dryness in the skin. having to take like 3 other medications alongside the steroid#bc taking the steroid causes side effects that need to be medically treated or prevented#even outside of the steroid! i’d like some comfort about having to build back my stamina from scratch#i’d like some comfort about having the worst balance i’ve had in years#there’s. more to this. but i’m out of tags. maybe i’ll make some replies idk. i’m just. UGH
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The things I want to say about mei mei’s character and the way the fandom reacts to and treats her vs the way they treat male characters who do shitty things… but I know y’all would crucify me
#I’m just saying. there is definitely a double standard#you don’t have to like her. I get it.#but the hate she receives compared to the way ppl react to characters like toji and sukuna and even fucking naoya#is so fucking unfair and ridiculous#it’s giving…. misogyny#we can forgive male characters for literally anything and still like them#but a female character does something undesirable and she’s irredeemable and anyone who still likes her#well it’s obvious it’s because they’re a bad person who condones everything she did#I just 😒😒😒#anyways#kaz rambles
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where is my fat husband
#stream#i’m lonely !!!! i want a man !!!!!!#me: where’s my man#me at the same time: not leaving the house nor dating apps & also is having a mental breakdown everyday while self medicating#also i’m 90% sure my meds are starting to fail again ALSKALKSLAKSLAKLSAKLSMAKSKK#ANYWAY#i didn’t even go to gay bars when i was allowed to drink like 😭😭😭#it’s all a bunch of straight people#there’s no point#like i constantly here old queens going ‘young gays don’t do xyz’ or ‘don’t know how to xyz’ like ok girl its because that shit died like#idk probably before the pandemic truly it was dying but the pandemic was the nail in the coffin like girl …….. i turned 21 a month into#lockdowns like#ok so i did stuff illegally & went to other shit but it still was straight bars 90% of the time there’s like 6 gay bars in houston total 😭😭😭#like idk what they expect like if … those venues aren’t there & are increasingly AGAINST doing the goofy tings …. how would the YOUNG KNOW#like at this point idk i truly think that it’s kinda on the elders at this point ALSKALSKLAKSAKSLAN like yea they’re boomers at the end of#the day so like i’m not saying that they didn’t have it hard they did they did ok but. get over it ? ALSKALSKALKSLAKSLA like alright … but#i’m saying this as someone who knows the history & bullshit like ok yea everyone needs to understand what it’s like to have your community#die before ur eyes but at the same time. there’s no community now ? ALSKALSKALKSLAKSLAKSLLA like girl …#girl …….#yall HAD a community but now all that shit is gone & none of us young ppl have any funds to make that 😭😭😭#like girl i have 12$ in my bank account i dream of being able to rent a flat at some point like a ONE BEDROOM u know W A LIVING ROOM & yall#own rentals so like this is UP TO YALL …..#like ur the problem ? 😭😭😭😭😭#@gays for trump & loghouse republicans i’m looking at YALL#a lot of these mfs are liberal too - pro invasion of iraq democrat back the blue bootlickin NIMBA faggots 😭😭😭💔#anyway that’s just me bitching#i’ve been so fucking IRRITABLE today
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i feel like a part of my soul has been ripped from my chest and i dont know why.
#is this a bad time to mention i dont even believe in souls?#i really dk why.#no this isnt abt jiro somehow apparently having a loving family#(ok like. at least 1/4 of it is BUT STILL. NOT THE POINT)#(part of me feels awkward abt it bc just. huh? youre telling me. this guy. that i basically am the irl version of. has a loving family???)#(/j and all but just. idk part of me feels awkward now? it just. a guy who blew himself up for most of the same ideals i have)#(gets to have the one thing i yearn so very hard for. everyday of my life. but can never have.)#(ill get over this in like. 2 hours. hopefully. most of thats just shock anyways.)#just. for the past some days. besides a couple things and people. hurt and love havent really. made me feel much of anything#like being cared for by actual ppl even online. yeah. it still does but#even my fantasies don’t entertain me anymore#oh god am i becoming lopt. save me fuck#UNLESS this means i get mason as my bf. then hell fucking yeah (kidding kidding kIDDINGG i dont wanna be lopt. please.)#but srsly. usually i can envoke some sorta reaction from myself if its brutal enough#but. nothing.#id assume that im over doing it usually. but i havent in a good while#maybe this is some what where my art/writers block is coming from#whatever this hell is.#time to go on a spiral of mildly depressing and somewhat cryptic posts (cryptic if i didnt info dump in the tags that is)#why is it so hard to confront issues when you dont even know what the issue is?#i just. wanna be able to make myself feel something.#not in a “i have no one but myself” way for once. just. i dont wanna have to rely on others for my emotions#i want to feel a pang of hurt. yet it feels so empty. i dont want to harm myself. i just want to feel it.#anyways ig.#ig im gonna just sleep#which tbh im growing to hate bc like. i feel all i do is sleep. i sleep to avoid how much my own body hurts. i sleep to ignore my issues#i sleep to ignore the fact i keep forgetting to respond to people even though ik i have to at some point. i sleep to avoid the dread of not#getting anything done. i sleep just because im bored.#and im tired of sleeping.#but. it feels worse awake. my body hurts. my mind hurts. it all just hurts.
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my grandma may not be able to stand up by herself or walk or talk in full sentences but she still managed to bodyshame the nurse and my mom during her appointment !!! the human spirit will always prevail!!!!!
#hahahahaha do you ever think about how every women in ur life hates her body and has a fucked up realtionship with food hahahahaha#like even at 80 years old ur still going to bodyshame ppl because we’ve been taught it since birth and even when u forget everything you#never forget that being fat is the worst thing to ever happen#sooooo funny!!!!!!!!!#(obivously i don’t mean that but like that’s what we’re told!!!!)#no hate to grandma but like god it makes me so sad#you can’t break the cycle!!!!!!!!!!!#mari.txt#food/#fatphobia/
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today is not a good brain day
#I’m not fucking evil for not supporting an animal abuser right. I can still call myself a trans ally and not support an animal abuser right#Right#ppl say “love all trans women no matter what” and I try but I don’t want to unconditionally support someone who would actually try and kill#My pets if she saw them.#It’s not transphobic to hate a girl who sees a picture of an irl animal and describes how she wants to rape it right#Because I feel like I’m being a bad ally
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love realizing i have dysphoria from something i THOUGHT i fixed a year ago that’s so fucking cool
#i’m so fucking frustrated. this was expensive and it only SLIGHTLY solved the problem#listen to your gut if a surgeon isnt 100% what you want go to a different fucking surgeon. ugh#i’m so angry i’ve been wondering for MONTHS why i still had so much dysmorphia tuuurns out it’s. dysphoria!!1 cool!!!!!!!#i’m also angry that i know if i say anything there’s a good chance ppl will be like ‘this is why plastic surgery is bad’#god. it solved some things for sure mt surgeon just didn’t do everything i thought he was going to#i don’t even regret the procedure i just wish i went with a different person#don’t get surgery in SAV if you can help it the healthcare down there is horrible#nick.txt#vent#i know it’s dysphoria because if i see myself from a diff angle we’re totally fine#it’s just. straight on. ugh. UGH!!!!!
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maybe i should talk/show more about my oc now that i’m thinking… idk! everyone is doing something for their ocs/self inserts idfkkkk…
like i just made her for funsies like haha what if i’m eltingville also everyone is eltingville/northwest why not do it…
#nobody will care anyways ANWAYS#she could be based in worse part of me to show and how toxic someone can be with their friends#or also based on how people have treated me back then when i was a teen and met some not so good friends…#yeah… maybe it could be like that but she would be very much a men hater god so toxic so she would never meet those nerd boys#is not like she wants to anyways BUT i think she meets Josh NOT in the comic store#but in some random store that sells everything yknow and they both saw a book/comic they both liked so much and then started to argue#but Vick is kinda the same as Bill and she doesn’t take a no (although she’s not physically violent like Bill but she has a big mouth)#but she’s a loser so she stfu to Josh and get the book. until they made some weird decision bc he never saw a girl like that#or fought with a girl about something he likes more than just getting insulted from his back so like they would exchange numbers/socialmedia#to read the book they want aaand that’s how they became friends because then josh started to chat more with her yknow#bc they both like akira and also robots so bc he is autistic and annoying he can’t stop yapping now that he has a friend#if he thinks that’s a friend bc Vick always blocks him bc he is so fucking annoying. yknow. meeting more toxic ppl in his life poor guy#but yeah that will be the arc of her i guess she’s also pretty lonely but the thing is she got used to it so she likes it#although doesn’t like to deal with idiots and that’s the first guy friend she ever had#her other best friend and only friend (also half toxic relationship but she treats her better) is with fake geek girl#they are from the same school and Vick always give her terrible advices and how men are terrible blah blah blah actual nonsense#also Vick is like the toxic equivalent of Bill in a girl but less violent and not that loser (she is tho)#so she will put fake geek girl into problems when she didn’t do anything and it was all Vick faults! so yeah that’s their friendship#it’s like Jerry and Bill but girls and they don’t punch each other or insult each other. but is still toxic#SO YEAH AHAHHA A LOT OF YAPPING IN HERE ABOUT MY OC MAYBE I SHOULD DRAW HER#i guess idk maybe yes maybe nah too busy
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I rly don’t see how ppl be 20+ shipping kids anymore tbh… like, it’s so rampant and I don’t see the appeal to it anymore being as tho I’m in my late 20’s.
#I’m grown….. it always baffles me to see it like man I don’t care I don’t find joy in it anymore since I’m not a teenager#I just look at them and think they’re like my fake son… daughter nephew niece whatever lol#give me the struggling and mentally fucked up 20+ year old give me those middle age bitches man if I’m going to like a ship now anyway#like i don’t care about the romance between kids man it sucks that this is such a huge thing in most fandom spaces#not that I participate in said spaces since ppl are annoying and embarrassing#also very nasty#sns is diff tho like that’s a whole other thing 🪽#sns is just a classic it’s legendary it transcends space and time it it-#I’m so glad that jjk is full of adults tho lmfaoo#one of Gege’s only W’s… especially impressive for a shounen#i like jjk outside of the goiji pairings too like I just genuinely enjoy it despite how awful it is now lol#again#I do think that ppl need to learn how to become more comfortable with enjoying media outside of shipping tho#like there’s nothing wrong with it obviously but I’m talking more like how tons of ppl only get into a new series for the sole purpose#of shipping instead of engaging with said media and the story that it’s trying to tell…#this is why fanon and wild insane hc’s usually get out of control too to the point where those who might be interested in checking out#a series might be deterred because they don’t even know what the show is about because the only stuff that ppl see about the thing is ship#stuff and like discourse#and the behavior of the fans…#these ppl be 30+ arguing with teenagers man it’s crazy to me#I just think there needs to be a balance lol#like still go crazy. Have fun and all but you get it#but anyway. with all that being said! Goiji stays winning in my heart 🚶🏾♀️#rambling
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What do u think about aoyama from bnha? :)
I’ve been out of the bnha circle for awhile, but I always liked him!!! He was one of the characters that seemed like he would’ve been a great friend to Izuku even if circumstances had been different and Izuku had never gone to UA, if that makes sense? Like whether Izuku had a quirk that destroyed his body similar to Aoyama or Izuku was still quirkless, I just see Aoyama as wanting to be his friend tbh. I vaguely remember reading a fic where he and Izuku were friends and I loved that dynamic a lot
I saw some posts about him being revealed as the traitor recently and I wasn’t too surprised to hear it, he was almost pointedly inconspicuous as a character and there wasn’t as much deep-diving into his backstory as the other 1-A students’ when we were first learning about them. I think he’s a neat character especially with that context, and with the reveal I think there’s great potential for some damn good angst and hurt/comfort fics tbh
(Also: as a girlie with chronic stomach issues, I’m always gonna stan a tummy-hurty king 👑✨)
#starlight fandom#starlight anon#thepossumsaretakingover#Aoyama is lowkey proof that even in slash-dominated-fandoms we still have some misogyny and sexism to unpack tbh#because he’s kinda been set up as a really fucking cool character that I think ppl could ship with any of their faves#but at least when I’ve seen him in fics he’s always been delegated to Background Gay Guy Friend#because he’s kinda twinky and flamboyant and fans don’t REALLY like feminine men as much as they claim imho#anyway getting off that soap box - I like him; I think he’s neat; there’s a lot of cool stuff to consider -#with him being the traitor and being blackmailed/threatened into it#and the parallels between him and Izuku and how he never has had a moment of peace#give me some soft hurt-comfort for Aoyama where someone draws him a bath and rubs his shoulders until he cries#I think he deserves it!!!! that’s just a kid!!!!!#also thank you for asking!!!!!!! hope you have a good day!!!!!!
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i hate living with people who still have high school minds and don’t practice basic respect in sharing spaces with people cause they just have their friends over all the time who r loud asf and no one cleans up after themselves and most of their friends call me a bitch behind my back ig cause i don’t interact w ppl and also yea you’d have a resting bitch face too if ur the houses fucking maid and only actual adult who deals with every fucking thing whatever holy fuck man
#like idk call me a bitch whatever but i think I deserve basic respect in my own goddamn house in which i pay bills in. fuck off.#and yea I have a friend group we hang out but because we’re adults we clean up after ourselves and aren’t obnoxious immature cunts . btw !#also these ppl who call me a bitch either don’t know me or disrespected me in my own home and ‘meant to apologize but is too scared’#ok so u still come into my goddamn fucking house loud asf disrespectful asf messy asf but pretend im not a human being bc ur soooo scared#when u yelled at me and told me to chill and called me a bitch for setting a boundary where I was in the right . and u don’t want to#apologize cause now u suddenly don’t like confrontation… when ur in the wrong … hm!!!! i fucking hate you tai get out of my fucking house#my god#also if this sounds mean it’s because i put up with toooooooo much !!!!!!!!! children!!! im taking care of children against my will im only#22!!! im tired!! and depressed!!! I don’t need this !!!!!!
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totally get what your saying but the answer is still to not read stories you dont like or upset you for any reason. murder is also a real world problem, i have one friend whose dad will not allow them or their siblings to watch any organize crime related media even criticly acclaim stuff like godfather bc his dad was killed by john gotti when he was just a kid. thats his choice but it doesnt make our choice to watch these movies wrong, al pacino & keanu reeves do not really kill anyone. the girl in this story is literally not real meanwhile REAL children are being blown to bits in gaza the very moment were talking about this.
ao3 is full is stories about things that would be horrible if they really happen, some ppl find it intresting or theraputic (sp?) to explore in fiction & others dont. none of it is real & if it bothers you too much even in fiction, the tags are there to help you avoid stuff you dont like. other sites like ffn & wattpad keep more control of their content. take a deep breath, focus on reality, take care of yourself & control your reading experince by not engaging w stuff that upset you. мир
#all I have to say now#because you think I don’t know how blocking works#I actively CHOSE to let ppl know I don’t fuck with shit#real or not still fucking wierd that a human being wrote this consciously#and don’t bring up Gaza right now#that’s NOT the conversation we’re having.#free palestine 🇵🇸#FROM THE RIVER TO THE SEA PALESTINE WILL BE FREE#ALL EYES ON RAFAH#there’s a difference in stuff like this and it’s called severity.
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