#well it’s obvious it’s because they’re a bad person who condones everything she did

[lesbiansanemi]

The things I want to say about mei mei’s character and the way the fandom reacts to and treats her vs the way they treat male characters who do shitty things… but I know y’all would crucify me

[transsexualhamlet]

asmr i psychoanalyze my favorite war criminal, aka calling out norman the essay

basically all of my thoughts on norman on one callout post because i care him (both manga and anime are discussed)

LINK TO RAY PSYCHOANALYSIS:  https://chaoticgaymess.tumblr.com/post/646749875570196480/ray-81194-the-long-explanation 

this is going to be ungodly long so here’s a keep reading, essay below the cut

((tw for suicidal ideation and self harm, brief discussion of eating disorders))

Disclaimer: no shipping is included here this is just about norman also they’re kids who call each other siblings

Thoughts: So you may be thinking, Rowan, why do you yell about the colorless war criminal so often? Well the answer lies in your honor the court hates to see a girlboss winning. Norman is a girlboss :) Yes norman is a tiny twink who can't lift a milk jug. And he is a girlboss :) Obviously I don't condone, um, eugenics and all, but that's not the point the point is that he satisfies my need for more characters like Levi motherfucking Calder from Unwind because I’m apparently an edgy 13 year old. Also all of his problems are violently things I can fix and I keep him around as a pet project because someone needs to give him a hug and slap him on the face

I diagnose him with things: 

-pisces man :pensive:

-is he albino? Not literally. Is his skin so pale he would catch fire if he went outside at noon? Yes.

-autism: Yes I’m aware that calling him autistic makes him, problematic rep by perpetuating the autism unfeeling savant stereotype whatever but have you considered i’m autistic and I’m projecting also he’s L with standards? Anyway traits of AuTism he has: hyper   fixation, canonically breaks and fixes things over and over because like ofc he does, doesn’t understand Emotion, hyperaware of body language at the same time as it all somehow flying over his head, low empathy, sensory experiences™, min maxed in certain areas, and I don’t think he’s got social interaction quite right? There’s something off about it

-gifted kid (derogatory) This is self explanatory but basically him being the smartest and the best in a competitive environment caused most of his issues, such as the perfectionism, the need to succeed, the lack of self esteem and ridiculously high expectations on himself, giving himself no breaks or time to relax, the “i must be productive with every second of my day or i will die” deal, the “peaked at 11” thing, the way in which he goes through life like there’s going to be a fucking test on it

-Eldest Daughter™ lmao. Norman’s always had to be mature, he’s always had to be the best, he’s always had to do the things Ray got out of bc he’s a snitch and Emma got out of because Isabella likes her. Norman gets respect from Isabella only if he excels, and her bar for him is astronomical. He doesn’t have the Mommy Issues that Ray has, but it’s because for him Isabella basically just reflected his expectations on himself, whereas with Ray it was more personal.

-low empathy (part of the autism thing): this one needs more explanation, but it’s not a bad thing in and of itself. Cognitive empathy is a thing and he can use it, but he does not instinctively understand other people’s emotions, or even recognize them properly, especially when the person is not like himself. This is obvious in Emma. Man has no fucking clue what’s going on in her head or why she does what she does, but he can predict what she will do in any given situation very well. He could understand the suicide attempt from ray he predicted more because Ray’s an easier equation to solve, and someone who’s more similar to him. I know he gets it because, well, motherfucker’s just as self desctructive as him, just in a more dignified manner.

-he’s got some sort of chronic illness. This is also me projecting and a headcanon but he’s got something going on, even before lambda pumped him full of growth hormones or whatever which they maybe should have Not Done but oh well. (I assume this just didn’t happen in the anime, since he’s still so fucking short) But he's So weak. He passed out when it was too hot. He passed out when it was too cold. He can’t open a pickle jar. His skin is too pale and he’s skinny af. He’s much more prone to sickness and probably has asthma too? But in the case that he did actually have something going on, I don’t think grace field would see the need to treat it, if it didn’t impact the quality of his meat? Isabella’s probably just “you have chronic pain and you get migraines? Great, take some tylenol and do some calculus.” Can’t say that probably helped anything.

personality type: ISTJ

Basically, he’s the most boring personality type to exist, and personally as an enfp i do not respect him. But basically this means he’s a fucking nerd that gets his projects done for school the day they’re assigned, is probably the president of the Anime Student Council™, and could probably get away with premeditated murder (ok actual istjs this is a joke don’t skin me)

The only trait that norman doesn’t have on the istj thing is telling the truth. Yeah, he values the truth, but like, that doesn’t apply to him, clearly. Bitch is a notorious liar.

The only other personality type he has any similarity with is intj, which is the same except it’s more rare and a purple theme instead of a blue theme. Sadly, that’s not him though, because although he can care more about some kinds of philosophy overall this isn’t the case and ray already occupies this personality type tbh. 

strengths and weaknesses: This one’s kind of obvious, but he is aside from the crazy insane intelligence good at planning. Extremely good at planning. He can predict any outcome and figure out how to prevent it, using all his resources. For example he’s physically weak and someone could literally just walk up and stab him, but it doesn’t impede his progress on his goals because he’s surrounded himself with strong, mentally inferior people who would die for him in a heartbeat. He never gets stuck in some “everything is shit and i can’t do anything” deal like Emma and Ray do, he always works through it and has confidence in his abilities (in as much as he will solve the problem or die™. Weaknesses other than his twink body include his Low Wisdom score. It’s funny how he’s often associated with an owl, the mans is 14. He thinks he knows what he’s doing. He doesn’t. Plus obviously his fundamental misunderstanding of so much of everything going on around him, the fact that he lies not just to the world but himself, his refusal to take care of himself and his incredible cowardice. His achilles heel is being forced to, actually confront his actions.

what he likes about himself: He does pride himself on his mental abilities, and his judgement, which in his opinion is the only correct opinion and the only correct way. In the past, he likes being seen as a leader, he likes being responsible for other people. He likes his ability to manipulate and lie, because he sees it as an asset, and I honestly think he enjoys being william minerva more than he enjoys being Norman. He prides himself on his unhealthy expectations and the fact that he is able to meet them. Honestly, he does think he’s better than everyone else, mentally, though it’s humbled by his self hatred. Cursed thought: If Norman had self esteem he would be light yagami. 

what he doesn’t like about himself/insecurities: Oh god, nearly everything. His appearance, his status, his superiority, his physical inability, his own mess of a mind, also have I mentioned his appearance. He’s obsessed with self control. He wants everything he sees wrong with himself gone. And I understand why having control of everything is necessary and appealing, everything for him has always been rigid and planned out from moment one, he was even more regulated in lambda, and though he desperately wants to Not Be Food, he has no idea what to do with the chains now that he’s broken out of them. So he just wraps them around himself. Regulates to an unhealthy degree when he sleeps, what he eats, when he actually takes even minimal care of his own problems, what he looks like, how much of himself he lets show, the expressions on his face, the literal thoughts inside his own head he will shut down if they are not Correct. It’s literal self harm. Norman, please stop it.

motivations/goals in life/general philosophy: To be honest, I’m not sure he knows what he wants. He sure thinks he does, he could sure give you a memorized answer, but it means nothing. He wants to excel. He wants Emma to be happy. He wants to be perfect and for that to make everything perfect. But he doesn’t realize everything he’s working towards will do pretty much the opposite of that. He’s a crippling perfectionist, and pretty much everything he does is motivated by his fear of failing. He picks the certain path, he doesn’t wait for anyone else, he doesn’t care if it’s not nice. Emma foils that a most of the time because he cares about her, but it can only go so far, especially after he’s had so much time without her to develop a Complex. His philosophy is very contradictory, basically the tokyo ghoul “everything bad that happens to you stems from a lack of ability”. All of his problems are his fault. All the world’s problems are his to fix. If he can’t fix them, it’s his fault, it’s because he wasn’t strong enough, and not being perfect condemns someone forever, including himself.

how he’s perceived by others vs how he actually is: In most people there wouldn’t truly be much of a difference, but with Norman things are different, because, well, most of his personality in grace field is a put on, as well as the tough guy dictator thing he radiates after lambda. How he appears to someone is determined by the context of their meeting- the kids at grace field see him as a nerdy, weakish, pretty boring kid who is really caring and kind. The researchers at lambda see an obedient, beaten down and perfectionistic boy. The lambda kids see him as an infallible leader, ruthless and genius, a good man who knows what’s right. But in truth none of that is him. It’s a fucking chess game to him, putting on different faces, lying and pretending and treating everyone differently. In truth? He’s a fucking coward. He’s scared out of his mind and he’s tired and he can’t take pain, he’s obsessed with reaching some goal he deems is necessary that in the end is going to be his death because he doesn’t want to face the consequences of his actions. He’s taken on the role of someone evil, though deep down he’s not, he feels it’s easier to live that way because it strips him of his conscience. 

interpersonal relationships: In general, Norman sees all relationships in a pretty dim light. He sees everyone as black and white, for the most part, and other people make no sense to him intuitively, he has to figure them out like a puzzle. He’s manipulative and not particularly kind, but he follows all societal expectations to a T, overly focused on his appearance and placing the person he’s interacting with into a Category™. So he can be truly kind, to people he feels deserve it, to people who he values and doesn’t see flaws in. He gets incredibly attached to people he loves, protective, though he often doesn’t take their own feelings on the matter into consideration, and he’s ruthless with anyone who he deems a bad person. With people he understands and relates to, though, things can be different. If he sees someone as like himself, he will drop all the social interaction police bullshit and cut to the chase of whatever he wants or needs from them, and he’s not very forgiving in any manner, if he thinks what someone did is actually bad.

Emma: Norman obviously cares a lot about Emma, and honestly views her as better than anyone else. He realizes her moral integrity and all of the things she has and he doesn’t, and admires it. Because of his black and white view, Emma is like an angel to him. She couldn’t do anything wrong if she tried. But he comes to treat her as something to be protected instead of respected, and although he realizes she wouldn’t like what he’s doing, he fundamentally cannot empathize with her and doesn’t try to understand her. Their personalities are very literally opposite. Norman really needs to fucking listen to her. And Emma needs to understand that Norman doesn’t have a single ounce of empathy and you really do need to spell it out for him. Emma can only convince him when she has logical reasons for her actions, which she, doesn’t often have. And Emma gave Norman too much slack, because she didn’t see past the surface, and Ray never wanted to warn her, even though he knew the dude was showing a bunch of red flags, because you know. It was kind of an unspoken deal between them. (on ray’s part)

Ray: His relationship with Ray is a lot more complicated than with Emma. He understands Ray, where he doesn’t understand Emma, and he can see right through anything Ray does. And this makes things really tense between them, because Ray doesn’t, take kindly to being psychoanalyzed. If someone perceives him he will deck them and Norman is just there silently perceiving him at all times when Emma doesn’t see it. They are both constantly in competition with each other, but they care about each other a lot, though it’s kind of in a derogatory way. They both recognize each other as fundamentally fucked up, and silently agree never to bring it up with Emma. They’re nice to each other when she’s around, but all pretenses disappear when she’s gone. Ray is always frustrated with Norman, because Norman’s never been intimidated by him, and though he tries his best not to be vulnerable around him, Norman can always see through it, whereas Ray can’t crack Norman’s fake fucking smile no matter what he does. Norman will always take Emma’s side, and doesn’t see Ray as a good person at all, but he still understands and can excuse him, he takes measures to be… worse than Ray, which is better in his mind, because it’s rational, and ‘not selfish’.

Isabella: She has always had ridiculously high expectations for Norman, and treats him kind of harshly compared to the others. Bitch has heat stroke and Isabella’s first question is a calculus problem instead of like, “are you ok”. She knows he doesn’t complain about anything ever and she doesn’t stop him from being Terrible to himself, because it makes her job easier. They want smart kids, not mentally adjusted kids. She does really care for all of them, but she basically overrides it, she gives them what they want, not what they need, lets them be exactly what they’re making themselves. Isabella is distant with Ray but gives him anything he wants, she’s close and super nice with Emma, but Norman is… it’s weird. Isabella is proud of him because he meets her astronomically high bar. But at the same time, Norman never really cared for her that much and has never pretended to. Once they discover The Thing, though, he has a revelation, and it doesn’t take him long to switch his entire perspective about her. He’s pretty much like. Oh. She’s like me. That explains it, time to treat her like I treat myself: fucking brutally. Passive aggressive as hell. The kind of energy the :) emoticon at the end of an email gives. He does like just go “yeah we should kill her” at one point, which. You know, ok. When he got shipped out it was hhhh really interesting because Isabella knew full well he knew he was walking to his death and Norman was like “are you Truly Happy?” and just went :) and she was like h u h and tried to get him to talk while they were walking there because she feels Bad about it and he just. Did not. He didn’t say a single word just kind of smiled menacingly at her and I think it was half a sort of rebellion and half because he viewed her as similar to himself and therefore felt no need to put up any front with her, no words were necessary for him to impart exactly how he felt about it

Lambda kids: His relationship with the lambda kids is weird and bittersweet. I think he really truly does care about them, they were in a similar situation to his and he wants them to get what they want. However it is not a healthy or beneficial relationship, they see him as a god and don’t realize that he’s killing himself to give them what they want, he’s basically adopted them when out of anyone norman’s the one that should least be in charge of kids. I think he’s honestly younger than them but I’m not sure if they even know. He acts like their fucking mom, and that’s from what he thinks mothers are like… like isabella?? Giving them what they want, not what they need, lying to them, showing a front, caring deeply for them but at the same time using them for his own ends. And it’s not helpful for him. He thinks he knows what they need, but what he’s doing is what they want. What they need is therapy,(and so does norman), and he doesn’t think there’s anything wrong with using them as weapons because they love him. It makes him feel good, to be seen as perfect, to have people who don’t know how weak he really is. But it’s only making him worse, and he’s enabling everything the lambda kids are doing wrong as well. They need like, Yuugo and Lucas. Some actual adults who are actually wise and have the ability and the knowledge to take care of them and understand their mental problems and maybe actually address them. And actually be nice to them. But um sadly. 

what he’s doing wrong: It’s pretty obvious, but… Norman, you maybe *shouldn’t* commit genocide? You’re not helping emma, you’re not making anything better. You’re not helping the lambda kids, you’re enabling them. You’re not helping your friends from grace field, you’re ignoring what they want. You’re not helping the world, you’re eradicating an entire race from the face of the earth and murdering the poor for the crimes of the fucking 1%. You’re not being a martyr, you’re a selfish piece of shit liar you little coward, you just want an easy way out and you want to die on your bloody fucking hill instead of admitting you’re wrong. Grow up, cringe little man.

why he went wrong: I think most of the reason this happened was the way he was raised combined with the kind of person he is. Norman would have turned out fine, if there has been good adults in his life who actually cared about his well being. Instead he got people who just wanted to control him and make him what they needed, and family who largely didn’t realize there was anything wrong. Ray being an ass to him most of forever probably didn’t help but well, that’s just Ray. Even then, he would have managed alright if he escaped with the rest of the kids because he would never have been separated from the experiences that caused the rest of them to realize demons weren’t all evil. In lambda he didn’t have anyone supporting him or telling him when things went too far, so he fell into relying on himself alone, pushing himself further with absolutely no limits. All he saw was enemies and allies, and things got stratified. He never had a lucas or a yuugo or mujika when he would have needed it, instead he found children who wanted him to be in charge and a world that made it so he had to be. Everything was an echo chamber for his worst thoughts, so they just became more and more dominant.

what he needs: To put it simply, he needs Emma and Ray to cut to the chase and slap him across the face and make him take care of himself. He needs to be forced to see everything for what it really is- this edgy 14 year old committing atrocities to feel better about himself? He needs to be told that what he’s doing is irrational, because in reality, it is. There are better solutions that he’s ignoring, both to his own suffering and the demons, and the way he���s going now no one will truly be happy because of it, that there is no requirement that things be perfect and this bullshit doesn’t make him stronger. He needs someone responsible to take the fucking dagger out of his hands. He also needs someone to babysit him and make him go to bed at a reasonable time.

i describe his personality through songs on my spotify playlist for him:

-outrunning karma by alec benjamin: this one super applies because it calls him out for making shitty decisions, being manipulative and a liar, and having blood on his hands in a very calm and subdued manner, that he knows this is wrong and yet he chooses to keep running faster and faster towards destruction, that he means to escape it through death

-empty by boyinaband and jaiden: yes this is a song about anorexia yes it also applies to norman i’m not saying norman literally has an eating disorder (but honestly it wouldn’t be far out of character if he did) but metaphorically this applies to his method of ignoring his needs, both emotional and physical, in favor of seeming in control 

-toxic thoughts by faith marie: this one speaks to his gifted kid trauma. Man’s got perfectionism running his entire soul. He’s terrified of failing, because he’s always been at the very top, he’ll beat himself up over any miniscule mistake and forces himself to keep at bad habits that keep him Productive, but he won’t ask for help no matter how much he’s suffering because that would be failing, he fights with his mind, this song basically tells him “yeah i feel you but you need to stop that”

-no time to die by billie eilish: ignore the romantic overtones but this is emma and norman, emma who trusted norman and was lied to, betrayed, for norman’s greater good, and norman who refuses to feel or hurt because of it, who refuses to apologize or see himself as wrong, pushes forward because he’s going to Pass Away

-achilles come down by gang of youths: hhhhh it's like. His vibe. Obviously you can disregard the lifestyle specific shit but it's. It's achilles come down you have to understand it’s like the same deal as friend, please just like french and longer

-friend, please by 21 pilots: i feel like i don't have to explain this one but it’s more to the manga (not the anime where he kind of figures out he done did wrong by himself instead of committing unforgivable sins and still going yeah this is valid before emma is like holy fuck). He is like sorry emma I cannot fix anything I’m going to die :) *coughs blood* and emma going like stop it stop it stop it fuck you see you fucked up and i forgive you just stop don’t walk away while he’s like “no<3”

why im a repressed little norman kinnie even tho he’s my exact opposite: I don’t generally kin ppl like norman, honestly he’s an infj I have no clue how it happened but I’m pretty sure it’s because of my intense desire to project onto a little man who cannot lift a milk jug and has chronic pain and decides you know what I AM tired of being nice i DO wanna go apeshit. Also he’s a twink. A little bastard. He’s a terrible person and I go mood every time he does anything. I said mood when he fell out of a tree. Don’t know what this says about me, I swear I wouldn’t commit no genocide. He’s like the inverse of Yoichi Saotome, and somehow i kin him too. Damn.

Miscellaneous headcanons:

-man’s SO attached to his william minerva cloak. He’s a wispy little bitch, you know he’s wearing that thing inside the house, he’s fucking cold. It also makes him Look Important he can retreat into it like an emo middle schooler with an oversized sweatshirt

-although you could probably get Mad street cred from having two whole brands you know he’s not gonna whip it out and show off his lambda thing he’s incredibly self conscious and his chest hasn’t seen the sun in years

-norman’s got MAD laundry skills to be able to wear like, all white all the time while constantly murdering people. I think he’s the only one who knows to do the laundry. And Ray is the only one who knows how to cook.

-but even then there’s gotta still be a few questionable stains on that thing, but if anyone asks he’s like “ketchup” “I’ve literally never seen you eat anything with that much color” “ketchup :)” *coughs blood*

-he’s probably thought “well i have not literally coughed blood yet today so I am not legally obligated to take care of myself”

-He probably adopted much of his current personality from taking on the persona of william minerva. I’m calling him out for being like me, he’s a blank motherfucker, he absorbs personality traits from characters he plays! He’s just not in theatre so it’s a bit more intense!

-the first time he sees barbara Eating Demon Meat he kinda stares and goes oh cool! not for me and violently exits the room. Like it's hilarious bc he thinks that's really gross on a moral level though he understands why she would do it 

-Which is even funnier bc I’m not sure about the canon on this but there was That Chapter Cover that one time that kinda seemed to imply norman eating demon meat which i absolutely latched onto because I’m terrible. He was just politely eating it. With a knife and fork like why dude. As to a possible reason for him doing that I can come up with, of course barbara does it out of spite, but man we don’t know the properties, if it had some sort of painkilling aspect to it or it was like, caffeine, you know he would, but he would Definitely not talk about it

-I kinda disagree with what the anime did in episode eight? It was good I liked it and the imagery was fantastic but also have you considered Norman could not kill someone with his own hands if he tried, or even physically injure them? That’s what his minions are for shawty. That doesn’t make it any less bad, of course, but the manga captured it perfectly by the fact of he carries around a dagger and a scepter in the capitol battle, but he never even raises it out of more than intimidation. He walks through calmly like he’s not scared at all but he makes sure all the lambda kids do all the actual murder, he just stands there impartially, clearly The Mastermind, as the kids fucking murder the queen of the demons. And I think that’s more profound because he’s, a coward. And he doesn’t realize being the one who orders the strike makes you just as responsible as the one who sticks the knife in someone. The knife is just there to Compensate™  for the fact that he weighs like eighty pounds.

-he’s more of like lady macbeth (because he’s a girlboss) than macbeth himself. He has blood on his hands, but it’s the kind of blood that you can’t wash off. He never killed anyone himself, and he cannot admit he never would have been able to.

-the last thing is that there are definitely epic things about the anime, episode 8 was my favorite so far, goddamn that imagery and the bitch walking through the city while it burns down with the screaming asmr going on behind him my god. We stan. But like the downside of, letting Emma and Ray get to him before he commits first degree murder makes the whole thing lose a lot of his value. In the manga (oh my god look at me being a pretentious manga fan please) it fit more of his ideas- he never backed down, and he planned for Emma coming and trying to stop him. Of course he wanted Emma to stop him, he wanted it with all his fucking heart he was pleading for it to happen but the man wouldn’t give himself what he wanted if he was held at gunpoint. He knew she’d come and he made absolutely sure she wouldn’t be able to stop him. So when she came and he said “you’re too late”??? It kind of said it all, in the fact that he was disappointed that he got his way. He still thought he did the right thing, but deep down there where he shoved all his thoughts and feelings he desperately wanted to be saved from himself.

So yeah, those are my thoughts. Feel free to eviscerate me if these are not Correct he is just my favorite girlboss who I feel the need to yell at

[ramblings-of-a-mad-cat]

A hphm character tier list please!! Bonus point if added reasoning/ explanation!

Have a great day :3

I doubt there are any placements on this list that would truly surprise anyone, but let's go through the different rankings. I didn't name them, by the way. Those were the categories that were already offered. I could have renamed or recolored them I suppose, but I didn't wind up doing so. Let's go in ascending order.

"Avada Kedavra." Self explanatory. Three of these characters are absolutely evil and irredeemable pieces of trash. And then there's Lockhart. He's just here because he pisses me off. Granted, so does Rita Skeeter, but she doesn't ruin an entire dating quest. At least when she shows up, it's because it's a quest about her. Fenrir Greyback purposefully infects children and describes them as "delicious" so...yeah. I'd put him even lower if I could. Albus Dumbledore's placement is also not a surprise if you know me. I hate him with all of my hate. Patricia Rakepick is also here and I doubt I need to explain why.

"Send to Azkaban." They don't bother me as much as "Avada Kedavra" but I am still not a fan. The Volde-clown Boggart is personally annoying in presentation but also as a plot device. For Peeves, there is the Prank storyline of Year 5. Enough said. The Weird Sisters creep me out, Filch and Mundugus are generally annoying, I discussed Rita, and the Dementor literally calls Azkaban home. That leaves Wormtail. I don't passionately hate him but he's not exactly a good person either.

"Kinda Sus" This is where I placed all of the characters who I, for whatever reason, do not trust or otherwise find shady, the ones who give me a bad feeling. This doesn't have to be plot related either, for cases like Ethan Parkin or Madam Hooch, it might just mean that their behavior is sometimes questionable. Of course, this is also something of a joke, like putting the Red Cloak on the list. For someone like Moody, it's more obvious - everyone knows I don't trust him. Characters like Bilton and Madam Villanelle are technically on our side, but they could be spies. If a character is a known villain, but their agenda and the depth of their evil is unclear, like The Dark Witch and the White-Robed Wizard, they also go here. Jacob and MC being placed here is somewhat of a joke, but it's also somewhat meta. Jacob is like Moody, his intentions are still unclear to me. And the game keeps teasing the idea that MC may fall to the Dark Side.

"Do you even go here?" Wow, do you ever stop to notice how many characters HPHM actually has? And this tier list included all of them, even the ones I would never have thought of. I literally just used this category to place all of the characters who do not technically attend Hogwarts school, though in a few of those cases like Aurelie, it definitely came off as more amusing. Additionally, I used this ranking for all of the characters who could be considered forgettable. Either by the fandom or the game itself, such as the prefects and poor Elora Dunn. Look, if the tier list has to actually list their name in the picture so that I can remember who they are, maybe they don't need to make the list, that's all I'm saying.

"Don't care." Mostly interchangeable with "Do you even go here." Again, the cast is so huge, that I'm not going to go through every character that I placed here. These past two rankings can mostly act as a summation for the majority of the characters for whom I don't particularly like or dislike. Emily Tyler hasn't returned or been developed as an antagonist in a while, so I don't care. Trelawney giving another prophecy is boring and conflicts with canon, so I don't care. Cedric Diggory is one of the most in-your-face examples of fanservice I've ever seen, so I don't care. But again, not all of these are negative. I think the Red Cap is funny, even if his storyline is brief. I love seeing Dobby, Arthur and Molly. I always love seeing them. I could go on.

"Ok." For the characters who, when I look at them, my immediate reaction is a generally positive one. I could probably get interested in a fanwork about these guys. For many of them, there is great potential to be explored but it just hasn't happened very much. Diego would not have been this high a year ago, but he's been fleshed out. Characters like Andre, Duncan, and Tonks...whenever they're in the spotlight and get genuine development, I'm interested. It just happens so rarely. The same goes for the Weasley boys, for Badeea. Other characters go here because I personally like them, even if they aren't that relevant. People like Aberforth and Percy. But two people can wind up here despite being very different and my having completely separate feelings about both of them, like Alanza and Ben.

"Like." Everyone that I would probably write a fanwork about someday, if I could actually motivate myself to finish my current WIP. Talbott, Chiara, and Jae are genuinely interesting and compelling. They might not make my top five, but they would make my top ten. I will always love Flitwick and what HPHM has done for him, I don't even care. Keep in mind, this doesn't mean I condone everything that the character has done...Ismelda has a lot to answer for, but it doesn't mean she's not interesting. And Penny can be very interesting too, but usually only when she's put under intense stress. As heartless as it is to say. You may also be surprised to see Myrtle here, but similar to Flitwick, I just love what this game did with her. Some of these could rise or drop a ranking pretty easily too. Like in hindsight, maybe I should have switched Duncan and Myrtle. It's not a big deal either way, I guess.

"Must be protected at all costs." Self explanatory. For the most part, these are all my favorite characters in the game, and the ones who I would lay down on railroad tracks for. Another character who climbed higher over time is Skye. If it wasn't for how much people message me about her, I may not have gotten quite as invested. My love for Orion is well documented, Rowan is the reason I started playing this game, Beatrice was the breakout character of Year 6, and Tulip x Merula is my OTP for this game. I could gush about any one of these kids for six paragraphs but the bottom line is that they are my favorite characters. It is at this point that we have entered "top five" territory.

"GOD TIER ~ ALWAYS" Characters who reign supreme and are factually flawless. It's not surprising to see characters like Dennis and Fang up here because critters are, generally speaking, leagues above humans simply by default. We can also see her majesty Queen Bean ruling from the sky, guarded by her champion, the arbiter known as Erika Rath. You are entitled to your wrong opinion if you fail to see the divinity of these characters.

[mocha-sim]

For a while now I’ve wanted to write out a post concerning where I stand on the whole issue with YanSim and its developer (in short: neutral, leaning heavily towards the negative side, but I like the potential of the story and characters). There are a lot of problems and I really want to throw in my two cents

This might not be necessary, but I need to get it off my chest, and hopefully make some people think about other points of view

Warning: long post ahead

1. Six years and still in development

I can really see both sides here

On one hand, six full years without even one rival - the single most important part of the game - and a game still full of placeholder assets, and terrible code on top of that, is pathetic

On the other hand, Yandev is working with only a small team of volunteers and himself, who (no matter what he claims) knows very little about game development (from what i’ve seen, he’s made one before, but it looks like a very small-scale and basic fighting game, unlike YanSim which is much more large-scale and has a lot of features)

Professional game teams do have full, high-quality games made in less than six years, but that time is also a product of game company employees being extremely overworked. Lately I’ve seen a lot more people talking about this issue, which is good, but isn’t it hypocritical to not also apply that logic to Yandev?

Again, though, I’m not sure how much time he spends actually working on the game - to me, it seems like he spends a lot of time on discord, reddit, etc. even if he does only stream for a few hours every night. Maybe the “harassment” that’s “slowing down game development” wouldn’t be such an issue if he didn’t spend so much time online interacting with these people?

2. The writing and characters

I’m not a huge fan of how the game’s story is handled, either

I don’t think it’s 100% fair to cast a final judgement with the game the way it is now - Osana not being out is in no way a good thing, but it also means that there hasn’t really been any opportunity for story or character development yet, especially for the rivals. That being said:

I feel like there’s a lot of wasted potential with characters’ individual stories and with the game’s story as a whole, like the “Aishi curse” - I just can’t think of many good stories with a main character who’s basically an empty husk. If Ayano had emotions from the beginning, and actually had to struggle with them, she could be a much more interesting character. There doesn’t even need to be a magical curse for it to run in the family - the way children are raised has a serious impact on the person they grow into. If Ayano is raised by a crazy, abusive stalker of a mother, she may well turn into the same thing.

Taro, too - he has so many contradicting character traits. He yells at Ayano for “scaring him” when she’s carrying a box cutter or laughing, but has the courage to run right up to a murderer and take off their mask?? He doesn’t care about reputations for Osoro or Oka, but won’t love Ayano if her reputation drops too low?? We’re told that he’s “friendly and respectful”, but we’re never shown that part of his personality. On top of that, we’re not really given a reason to like or pursue him as the goal of the game - when he’s not interacting with Girl of the Week, he doesn’t really do anything except sit by the fountain and read. I feel as though Taro should have a routine that involves interacting with other characters and gives us more of a feel for the personality we’re told he’s supposed to have

Raibaru as a whole makes no sense and feels like a satellite character to Osana. In Osana’s shoes, I would want to have a word with her about personal space. There’s not a lot to say about her aside from that, because... she doesn’t really do anything except follow Osana around all day and shut down the player’s attempts to kill her. She feels more like a soulless obstacle than a character

I think there should be more true pacifist options than just matchmaking - even the befriending elimination route will, in Yandev’s own words, involve someone getting hurt. If we’re supposed to have a choice on whether or not to hurt and kill people, there should be more variety in our options

3. The game’s code sucks/it’s poorly-optimized

Yeah.

I don’t know much about coding but the amount of awkward stretching/bending limbs on corpses, clipping through walls, low fps, etc. makes this obvious. It was definitely a bad move on Yandev’s part to start a project like this without at least taking a coding/game development class or something

I think the best course of action for Yandev would be to get a professional programmer on board after Osana is released and spend a few months fixing the game’s code before he starts work on the next rival

4. The character models are just stolen Unity models

They are just unity models, but not “stolen” at all - YanDev paid for them.

That being said, they’re sort of ugly and inexpressive, and personally i’m hoping they get replaced soon

5. The characters are all minors

They’re not. It’s in flashing red letters on the screen when you open the game. I can’t help but feel like the reason people keep insisting that the characters are minors is so that they can feel like heroes for defending them or something

It doesn’t make a lot of logical sense, but there’s still plenty of time for this to be fixed. I think it was recently confirmed that Akademi is called an “academy” now and won’t be referred to as a high school again

Imo YanDev should just change it to a post-secondary school, since that’s probably the most seamless way for all the characters to be adults

One last thing I want to say on this is that, when it gets brought up, I often see people use the excuse “the age of consent in Japan is 13″. 1: it isn’t - the Japanese government lets each prefecture decide its own age of consent, but 13 is the minimum. As far as I know, no prefecture has set it below 16. 2: even if 13 was the age of consent, that doesn’t mean we should accept and defend it as “part of a different culture”. It’s still pedophilia. 3: Japanese people actively protest against things like this

6. The uniforms are middle-school uniforms/don’t look like they belong in a prestigious school

Yeah

However there are multiple uniform options, and it looks like the default uniforms will be completely changed in the final game

7. Panty shots

YanSim is an 18+ game, but there is such a thing as too far

I’ve seen people who tolerate it, but I haven’t seen a single person who actively likes the panty shots and would complain if they were removed. Imo the part that makes this bad is the fact that we, the player, actively have to point our camera up a girl’s skirt and take a photo of her underwear with it being in full view; the whole way this works makes it obvious that the feature was put in there for titillation more than anything else, and it just feels uncomfortable. If it were more like Uekiya’s key-stealing minigame where all we have to do is push a few buttons, the whole gross/uncomfortable aspect could be taken away and a lot of people would probably be fine with it

It would also be better to replace it with an expanded version of the phone-stealing feature: this would let the player get “points” for students of both genders, plus it would still make sense to gain more points for certain students, like the student council or the bullies. Maybe you could even steal teachers’ phones under certain circumstances?

8. YanDev is homophobic

Again not too sure on this one

Iirc, most of the comments people bring up on this are from years ago when he still went by EvaXephon

But speaking as a wlw, I think some of the ways I’ve seen him talk about f/f relationships are pretty creepy. And on top of that, he seems to be considering adding a “female senpai” option to the game, but no male player character? (though i guess i can see the point of view that a male mc would need a lot more new voice lines, animations, etc. while the senpai follows a mostly fixed routine and would only need so many. still, it seems wrong to have one without the other). I hope I’m wrong about this but his support of the LGBT community seems mostly focused on the L and more for his own entertainment than any actual support

9. YanDev is making more money than he should (and handles it poorly)

His Patreon may be dropping, but his YouTube channel is raking in even more money with 2M+ subscribers, and he’s making even more money from things like merch and donations... all while apparently still living with his parents (which i don’t find hard to believe). He’s also apparently bought 2 switches and a sex doll instead of using the money to hire the help he desperately needs with his game

Assuming he really does still live with his parents, I fully support the petition to get his Patreon suspended until he at least finishes Osana. Most game devs don’t make any money off of their games until they’ve finished it completely

10. YanDev wrote rape fanfics

So I did briefly check his old ffn profile some time ago, and as far as I could see everything had the proper ratings and warnings

Tagging/warning/rating is a fanfic author’s only responsibility to you. You make the choice on whether or not to read it. If everything is appropriately tagged and you read it anyway, that’s on you, not the author. If you are mature enough to be on the internet unsupervised, then you are mature enough to curate your own experience.

Fiction is the place to explore controversial themes and topics. It doesn’t mean in any way that a content creator would condone the things they write about in real life

11. YanDev steals art/assets

He does, and still hasn’t apologized for the DLC rivals thing. In fact he made a post defending himself for it, and even compared himself to Andy Warhol in the process (lol)

I’m not sure but I think I heard something recently about him continuing to do this type of thing (the grass, etc.). In which case we should continue to put pressure on him until he credits the creators of whatever art/assets he stole. Art theft is inexcusable

12. The fanbase is mostly kids

This is unfortunately true, and it’s a big problem (i’ve had to deal with it myself on my youtube channel)

However I would personally say that this problem is outside of YanDev’s control. Kids seem to be drawn to edgy/violent things, or things they shouldn’t be allowed to see (just look at Call of Duty). I put the blame for this on the parents who aren’t monitoring their kids’ computer activities. As for YanDev, he’s not a babysitter and it’s not his responsibility to censor his content for kids who shouldn’t be viewing it in the first place

Underage or not though, he should really avoid calling his fans things like “fuck kittens”. Even from the perspective of an adult that’s super creepy to hear

13. The character designs suck

Some are alright, others are absolutely awful

I think that, in a game built on anime tropes, characters should be allowed to have unnaturally-coloured hair. I mean, a lot of characters in anime do have weird hair that you wouldn’t see in real life (seemingly without any dye), and it can add a lot of personality to their designs

But some YanSim characters push that too far. The science club is the worst of the worst imo, despite being otherwise one of my favourite clubs. The neon streaks are ugly, and what’s up with the visors? Why are they allowed to wear those outside of club time? Why do they wear them during club time, as opposed to actual goggles or something? (i have this issue with a lot of club accessories, imo the accessories are unnecessary in the first place)

The bullies and the light music club also take things too far. Their designs are crowded, hard to look at, and out-of-place. Nothing against characters with multi-coloured hair, but there’s a time and a place and a “prestigious” school setting isn’t it

(also, slightly off-topic, but why does almost every “intended couple” look like they could be siblings?)

I could probably make a whole separate post on the character designs in YS, but I’ll save that for another day. (i’m just very passionate about character design)

14. YanDev has collaborated with porn games 3 times now

Once I could overlook (after all, the characters are 18+ and YS is already not for kids) but a third time? Seriously? And so soon after the last one?

Not only do I have mixed feelings about Yandev doing crossovers when his game isn’t even in the demo stage yet, isn’t this game supposed to be taken seriously as a horror game? I can’t think of a single other horror game that has willingly put its characters in porn.

Also I can’t help noticing that he advertises the porn game crossovers a lot more than he did with that one Dark Deception crossover. Did he ever even mention that one? I only ever saw it on the Dark Deception Twitter

15. YanDev is rude to his fans

I don’t have a lot to say against this one. As far as I’ve seen, he is, and he doesn’t take criticism well at all (just look at the subreddit - yes, a lot of the things that were removed deserved it (unfunny cum chalice jokes, etc.) but there have also been completely innocent questions, fanarts, jokes, and fanfics that have been removed. Not to mention mods going through peoples’ post history and banning them for being active in r/Osana. Both he and his mod team seem insanely paranoid)

I think he’s going to have to grow a thicker skin and stop censoring critiques if he wants to get anywhere with this game. Not just fans who bring up tiny details that might need changing, but also big, glaring issues like the code and character designs and such. He also doesn’t seem that professional for a game developer who wants to be taken seriously

That being said, if you’re the type to spam the discord server/subreddit/fan communities who have nothing to do with Yandev like the amino, you deserved that ban

16. YanDev defends pedophiles/the “sex license” thing

“No adult ever has any excuse to do anything sexual with a child. As soon as you touch a kid, you have crossed the line from being someone with a mental disorder to being the worst scum imaginable. Having a mental illness is involuntary, but touching a kid is a choice. If you have a mental illness, I feel bad for you. If you violate a child, I feel disgust and contempt for you, and I think you deserve the death penalty.” -From YanDev himself on this page

The sex license thing is also debunked on the same page: the whole conversation was taken out of context and the hypothetical “license” was supposed to be something that only an adult could meet the requirements for

17. “Corona-chan”

This was a really insensitive move to make in the middle of a pandemic, and I agree that the design was racist

However, YanDev listened to the fans’ complaints and removed the easter egg a day later, plus gave an apology. I think that this was the best thing he could do in that scenario and idk what else people are expecting him to do about it

18. YanDev’s general portrayal of high schoolers

Honestly, it’s not 100% realistic (especially in some of the dialogue. you know what i’m talking about)

I’m surprised that more students don’t seem to have friends outside of their clubs. It seems like all the students mostly stick within their club/group - walking to school together, spending their breaks together, etc. A lot of the ways the characters behave are very robotic, like walking in a perfectly straight line everywhere they go

That being said, a lot of the things i’ve seen criticized in regards to this are not part of the problem. By the time you’re in high school, you’ve probably hit puberty. It doesn’t make a character automatically sexualized if they have bigger breasts (though some designs in the game are over-sexualized, like a few certain staff members)

19. Muja, Mida, and Hanako

Let’s start with Hanako: Yandev has already said that she’s not romantically interested in her brother, she’s just insanely clingy and doesn’t want him to get a girlfriend out of fear that he’ll forget about her. If you still insist that she’s in love with Taro, then that’s on you

Muja and Mida I have mixed feelings on.

If every student is 18 or older, meaning that the first-years are 18, that makes Taro, a third-year, 20-21 years old. If Mida and Muja are in their early 20s as Yandev has said, that means that the age gap isn’t an issue. However, it’s still wrong for a teacher or a nurse to pursue their student/patient

I don’t think Yandev should need to spell out “hey, Mida and Muja are not good people” in flashing neon signs. The game is rated M and anyone who’s old enough to play it should be able to understand that without it being said. If you need morality in fiction spoon-fed to you, you probably shouldn’t be watching/reading/playing anything rated above PG

On the other hand, YanDev has a nasty habit of making these things into a joke, which is really insensitive and creepy. Like saying that Mida’s favourite food is “the spit of a younger man” (yikes), that she’s tried to seduce her own students 69 times (haha 69 so funney right guys XD), or that whole confession scene mess. It’s less of a problem with Muja, but it’s still there. As much as the audience shouldn’t need everything served to them on a silver platter, issues like these should still be treated with respect, not made into gags

20. Yandev wastes time on “Easter eggs”

I have to agree that he does spend time implementing unnecessary things sometimes (like the abc challenge), but as far as I know the Easter eggs are what he does in his spare time while waiting for assets from volunteers. However: snap mode, which was hyped up for years, turned out to be a flop with zero purpose, disappointing a good portion of the fanbase.

21. Love Letter

So far I’m really liking the look of this game: I like the models and the school environment they’ve shown, and it seems like they’re doing a lot of things in better or more interesting ways than YanDev, like not outright telling us who the rivals are. I don’t think it’s fair to accuse them of “stealing” anything, when it seems like most of the assets the games have in common are the things they bought from the Unity store (Love Letter even changed the base Unity model to have a more appealing look)

I'm glad to see that they actually listened to criticism from fans on things like Setsuna’s design (I love her newest look and I hope it’s the final one). From design alone she’s already a more interesting protagonist, and she looks like the sort of character you’d actually enjoy playing as

Not sure I totally buy the claim that it was all done in two weeks, but even if it was over the span of months, that’s still miles better than YanSim’s six years

Knowing that Dr. Apeis has already ditched one project I’m staying open to new information on this, but as of right now I’m looking forward to playing the demo!

Overall: A lot of the hate against the game and the dev are unnecessary, but some is justified and we shouldn’t blindly defend everything he does (seriously, you can admit that the character designs are shit. no one is going to stone you for it).  There are a lot of improvements Dev could make, both on the game and on his behaviour towards fans.

I think that the biggest improvement would be for the game to just stop taking itself so seriously. At this point, it’s so full of memes, cringy google translate names, excessive edginess, and gags that it may as well just be a fun ridiculous anime game instead of a serious horror game. I feel like taking this approach could make it more successful (plus, it doesn’t really have a lot of horror elements aside from the gore)

There are a lot of cases of people taking things too far. Like spamming YanDev with explicit gore/animal abuse, trying to swat him, spamming volunteers with weird porn, trying to hack into volunteers’ accounts (including bank accounts), etc. That is going way too far, no matter how awful or pathetic you think a person is. If you are doing these kinds of things, you are doing more harm than Dev or his volunteers

Attacking YanDev’s appearance is unnecessary and not related to his behaviour or skills. Same with the chalice memes

However, I’ve seen a lot of YanDev’s defenders lashing out against “gremlins”, lumping all of them in with the kinds of people who do these things. If you check r/Osana, you’ll see that most if not all of the people there condemn this behaviour: the gore and porn spammers are a loud minority (and i’m willing to bet most of them are the basement-dwelling losers from KiwiFarms and 4Chan)

Attacking and/or spamming fans who are just trying to enjoy the game is also unnecessary. Someone liking a video game you don’t like is not doing you any harm. Be mature and move on

I’m not sure if some of what I’ve said above is 100% accurate so if anyone actually read this and has evidence against it then feel free to add

I think that’s about all I have to say on that. Again, i don’t know if it will change anything in the fandom but i really just wanted to get this off my chest

[anniebibananie]

Hi can you please a little fic of Jon and Arya on thier way back from KL talking about their loves (Sansa and gendry) and a little reunion scene for both of them!

a/n: better late than never? and maybe not quite what you asked for? this is: snippets of jon and arya on their way back to winterfell.

They’re a week into their journey back to Winterfell when Jon finally speaks for the first time. He’d been shell-shocked, uncommunicative, and Arya had never been one to push. Maybe if Sansa was here she could reach out, place a comforting hand on his shoulder, and unlock his chest to reveal all that deep-seated trauma. 

Arya was not as generous as Sansa, though. She struggled with the idea of reaching that palm out when there was still so much waging a war in her own chest. But she sat on a horse, riding beside him even when he slowed or raced away, and she thought sitting beside a person as you both bore weight was a kindness of its own. Sometimes the most Arya felt capable of giving. 

“I didn’t think you were going to come home,” he said. His voice was near a croak from lack of use. 

Arya felt her heartbeat jolt before controlling it back down. He spoke nothing but the truth, and yet it hurt somehow to hear it aloud. 

“Neither did I.” Arya considered herself a world class liar, but she still found the thought of lying to Jon pointless beyond measure. 

“Then what changed?” His eyes stayed strained forward. One hand kept a loose grip on the reins. 

Arya had no idea how to answer him. There were too many reasons, truthfully. She thought about Sansa watching from a parapet just to see no one return. She thought about never returning to Winterfell’s walls. Of Jon riding back alone—the desire to run off into the woods and disappear just as alluring as home. Maybe Arya was doing it for Sansa then: returning Jon to her, knowing the two needed each other more than anything else and both incredibly unlikely to admit it. 

But she knew too, as unwilling to admit it as they were, that part of her wanted to see Gendry at least one last time before… before… before whatever came next. She was tired of not saying goodbye and of not hearing it in return. 

She’d said goodbye to him, though, hadn’t she? So why did it feel insufficient?

“Are you doing it for him?” he asked, as if reading her thoughts. 

“Who?” 

He snorted. “Arya.” 

“Jon,” she tested, obstinate. “And what are you going to do about her?” 

He tensed. “Who?” 

“Oh fuck,” she cursed. “You’re horrible.”

“Like looking at your own reflection, isn’t it?” 

Arya couldn’t argue that. She’d never been able to, never really wanted to. So she grunted, didn’t say anything, kept riding in relative silence. 

___

Jon sat across from her, staring into the flames like a brooding actor. Much of the rest of camp had turned in for the evening already, but neither of them had taken to sleeping well after everything. When Arya really thought about it she wasn’t sure she’d slept in years—not properly at least. 

“How did you know?” he asked. “About… her.” 

Arya’s knife stopped mid-slice of the apple in her palm. Truthfully, she was quite surprised he had brought it up without the air of alcohol or further prompting. She held the apple up in front of herself. 

“There’s this sleight of hand entertainers do. They have you looking right here, do everything to keep your eyes focused on the apple so that you never notice what’s happening in their other hand.” She threw the apple up, catching it easily with a sharp slap of apple against palm. “I asked why in the world you kept throwing Daenerys in our faces. Why make it so obvious? There were political reasons, obviously, needing the army and support but…” 

Jon’s face remained impassive. He truly was better at playing the game than anyone ever gave him credit for, herself included. 

“You shone a light on Daenerys so no one would see how you looked at Sansa. Most importantly the Dragon Queen herself,” she finished. 

“But you saw.” 

She nodded and finally took a bite of the abused apple. “Yes, I saw. Mostly because I see how she looks at you in return, and then it’s not that hard to put together the dots.” 

Jon ignored the comment. “She didn’t deserve what I put her through.” 

Arya shrugged. “None of us deserve anything we were put through. Doesn’t actually matter.” 

“And what does?” 

“That’s the question, isn’t it?” The truth was, Arya didn’t actually know anymore. That’s why she’d nearly left in the first place. Arya had run so long—the to and from barely mattering as long as she was going—and she figured the rest of her siblings had as well. 

But what happened when you stopped? How did you figure out where to go? Even worse, how did you come to terms with staying, with simply being, when the opposite was what was familiar to you?

“The war is over, isn’t it?” she asked. “We can stop destroying things and try building instead.” 

“Is that why you’re heading back? To build?” 

“I’m going back because… because I don’t know where to go, and this is just as good a spot as any.” 

Jon nodded and didn’t speak. Arya was more than happy to let the fire crackle. 

__

Some nights Arya dreamt of the battle—smoke as thick as fog. Others she dreamt of Cersei’s beady eyes, staring at her even in death–you couldn’t shut my eyes forever, they seemed to say. Other nights, she dreamt of a blacksmith’s hands on scarred flesh. 

Occasionally, rarely, she was on her father’s shoulders walking Winterfell’s grounds. 

No way to know, really, what you would get. A toss of a coin. It was best to try not to dream at all. 

__

“I like him if that helps,” Jon spoke. 

Arya felt uncomfortable that they even had to be talking about this. 

“Wonderful,” she muttered. She paused, unsure of why she was contemplating allowing this discussion at all. “He wants me to be his wife.” 

“What?” Jon’s voice carried enough that Arya could sense the few men on horses in front of them give little looks over their shoulders before looking away again. “You’re too young for that.” 

“I don’t think I will ever marry,” Arya said. She couldn’t imagine the life of being wed, of those duties weighing around you like some sort of cage. It didn’t matter how she felt about Gendry or anyone, not if it meant submitting herself to a life she couldn’t live. 

“If I learned anything with the wildlings is that you don’t have to be married to someone to have love or a commitment.” Jon shrugged. He looked uncomfortable even bringing the topic up. “Not that I could condone that sort of thing, but…”

“Thanks, Jon.” Arya paused. They’d round up on Winterfell’s walls in a handful of days, and she couldn’t begin to imagine all that would come when they got there. She had no idea what their lives looked like now. “Jon?” she asked. 

He humphed in response. 

“You know I’m not some idiot bleeding romantic, but…”

He sighed. “But?”

“But what’s the point if you don’t get to be happy?” 

His eyes wouldn’t meet hers. “I did a lot of bad, Arya.”

“Sorry, I should have known I needed to rephrase this. What’s the point of it all if she doesn’t get to be happy? And she wants you.”

“She wouldn’t if she knew—”

“She knows it all. She’s smarter than all of us.” Arya laughed, the sound broken but alive and escaping from her. He joined in with a brisk laugh of his own. “When we get home I think the best thing you can do for her is give her the truth.” 

“You ever think about taking your own advice?” 

Arya snorted. “Not usually.” He was staring at her, and she gave him an aggravated look. “I’ll think about it. If you do, too.” 

He nodded, satisfied. 

__

Arya dreamed of snow—heaps and heaps of it. She dreamed it was falling all over Winterfell, and she couldn’t seem to keep on top of the pile of it. Finally, she stood on the precipice. And when she looked down at her feet, she could see a sprout of green pushing its way through. 

__

The crest of Winterfell peaked over the horizon. Arya knew from now on it would only get bigger in their sight, and that at any second both her and Jon were equally likely to kick their horses to urge them on forward. 

Arya wanted to be in her sister’s arms. She also wanted to be in her own bed. 

“There’s a lot more life ahead of us,” Jon said as if the thought surprised him, as if he’d only just realized. 

“There is,” Arya agreed. Having the same realization she’d had what felt like eons ago now, standing across from Sandor as he looked down at her with that foreign sense of affection, she said, “I want it.” 

Jon nodded. “Me too.” 

“Race you for it?” she joked, but they were both pushing their horses forward without a second thought. They raced toward their home. 

And Arya didn’t know what the next day looked like, certainly not far beyond it, but she knew she could be brave and happy and home. She knew her and Jon had a chance to have that without fear of it being yanked from their tightly clasped fingers. 

She wanted that. She was ready to go and get it. 

[lilliryth]

So I’m just gonna say this right here. @ajokeformur-ray asked for nobody to send any more asks on the subject, but I wanted to type something out in her defense.

Arthur doesn’t understand boundaries. He’s bad at reading social cues, isolated to the point where human interaction is an alien concept in itself, and both the education and mental health system failed to teach him what’s okay to do and what isn’t. He has a mental illness, which could potentially make it hard for him to grasp these concepts. You can see it in his writing. Clearly spelling and grammar was something he struggled with more than a neurotypical would, and nobody was there for him to give him the extra attention required for him to learn things that come easy for others. The same goes for basic social rules.

His lack of understanding causes him to make a lot of transgressions without meaning to. He stalks Sophie. He finds Bruce at Wayne Manor and puts his fingers in his mouth to make him smile. These are not defensible actions, and in real life, it wouldn’t be acceptable in the slightest. But because Joker is a movie, we have the chance to look at things from his point of view, and we know for a fact that despite all of this, his intentions are never to hurt anyone.

From an outside perspective, he definitely looks predatory, even if he doesn’t mean to be. That’s obvious in the case of Sophie and his meeting with Bruce, but it’s in the more nuanced scenes as well. There’s a scene towards the beginning that illustrates it best, in my opinion. Arthur on the bus notices a child staring at him, so he tries engaging with him in a harmless and friendly way. The mother of the child tries to stop the interaction. He has a pseudobulbar attack.

This seems unreasonable to someone who sympathizes with Arthur—he was only trying to be friendly. But you have to consider things from her perspective. She can’t read Arthur’s mind; not like we, the audience, can. She doesn’t know his intentions. All the maternal alarm-bells are likely going off in her head: why is this stranger trying to engage with my child? Who would randomly start interacting with a kid like that? What kind of person is interested in a kid he doesn’t know? Is he a predator?

With that in mind, Thomas Wayne’s reaction to Arthur is not unfounded. At the same time, that doesn’t mean a sympathetic audience won’t immediately want to defend Arthur. We understand that Thomas is protecting his child. But we also know Arthur Fleck, and we understand that what he did was simply a misguided attempt to befriend who he, at the time, saw as his half-brother.

This is all a big point of his character—Arthur doesn’t deserve to be ostracized, but because he is so hopelessly unaware of how he appears to others, he is unsuccessful both socially and in pursuing comedy as a career. He doesn’t know why everyone makes fun of him. He’s oblivious to the things that set him apart from society. He isn’t aware of things he does that others would consider embarrassing, predatory, or irrational. Someone loving who cared enough to help him, or a system that could offer him support, or even a single person in his life who was patient enough to tell him what he was doing wrong, could have changed his life. But he had nobody.

Erika is not saying everything Arthur did was okay. She’s saying she loves him, that his intentions were innocent, that while what he did was objectively not okay, she knows that he didn’t mean to seem like a predator, and for that reason she wants to protect him. She feels anger towards Thomas Wayne, not because he was defending his kid, but because he refused to listen to Arthur and reacted with violence to his pseudobulbar condition. We know, because of our perspective as an audience, that Arthur doesn’t deserve that. It was a mistake on his part, but he was never malicious in the “predatory” things he did.

The fact that anons will take a lighthearted joke about wanting to protect a character Erika loves and try to make out that it has anything to do with “condoning everything he does” or “laughing at abuse” or whatever is kind of astonishing tbh. You’d have to have preconceived notions of her, or have already made up your mind that you want to start discourse in order to misinterpret that. If you’re going in on the basis that you want to cause an argument, you need to re-evaluate your choices.

Anyways, just wanted to help her clear the situation up. I guess discourse is kinda par for the course when it comes to speaking openly in a fandom, but I think people need to think clearly about what it is they’re reading and who they’re interacting with before trying to attack.

[yourwakingnightmares]

I wanna talk about Disney for a moment. Specifically, Disney’s Star Wars.

Because to me? What they did with these Star Wars movies? Classic Disney at this point.

They bragged about how ‘diverse’ they were with the new Star Wars movie. Rey, Finn, Rose, Maz, Phasma, and so on. Disney rode in on their high horses to grandiosely announce how ‘diverse’ they were.

And yet.

Let’s take these in order, shall we? I’m going to try and keep these points somewhat brief, as I could go on for ages about this. Please do bear in mind: I hold no animosity, and a great deal of sympathy for these actors, and I do not condone any slander against them as people. We can criticize the character, but the actors should be off-limits.

Let’s begin.

With Rey, they bragged about the first main female character in Star Wars -ignoring Leia, Ahsoka, Padme, and so on. However... They wanted to brag about giving us this ‘gift’, but they did nothing with her. Rey was the classic blank slate character, a Mary Sue straight from the pages of a young writer’s FF.net fiction. They spent exactly zero time turning Rey into a well fleshed out character, instead just settling for, ‘she wants to find her family’. They spent zero time turning Rey into a human being, and settled on, ‘she is perfect and can do no wrong’. They ended the series with Rey literally taking everything she hadn’t earned, and then stealing the OT characters’ name, and said, “Look how progressive we are!”. They didn’t want Rey to earn things on her own, they didn’t want to give her plots where she learned that a name was meaningless, and didn’t define her. They just wanted her to look cool, be badass, have zero faults, and be the main centerpiece. They wanted their ‘good ally’ tokens, but didn’t want to put any work into it.

Fin had a similar problem; they bragged about the first main black Star Wars character (again, ignoring Lando, but we’ll let that go for now). But what did they do with Fin? They spent zero time on his continuity, zero time on his personality, and by RoS, he’d become nothing more than the comedic relief -something I particularly find abhorrent, given that this was the classic ‘funny black best friend’ trope that I’ve seen so many times. He went from being a Stormtrooper to a janitor. Even John Boyega criticized this, saying that Fin was given no direction, no purpose, and that they shoehorned him into RoS. In the posters for the Asian market, he was literally shrank down to almost nothing, and hidden away in the bottom corner, to appease the Asian markets. Disney wanted their ‘good ally’ token for having a main black character, but didn’t want to put any work into it.

Rose? What even was Rose? Was she a character? They took an attractive woman, and made her frumpy for some reason. They turned her into the laughing stock at her ‘we do it by saving what we love’, turning her into the lovestruck girl willing to damn her friends, and her cause, for the sake of the guy she fell in love with over a few hour period. The only background we received was that she joined the Resistance because rich people funded the First Order who destroyed her home. That was it. Her lines were atrocious, her character development non-existant, and she was literally the most obvious, forced, ‘see, capitalism bad’! billboard I have ever seen in my life. (Note: I’m not complaining about the ‘message’, but rather the delivery: this is akin to telling children, ‘murder is bad’ -and then acting like you’ve said something poignant). They wanted their ‘good ally’ token for having an Asian female, but they didn’t want to put any work into it.

Maz Kanata? Shit, don’t even get me started on this walking Yoda ripoff. She was in TFA solely to give Rey the lightsaber, and tell her to find Luke. Literally, she does nothing else. She’s not given any character, any dimension. The one opportunity we had for getting some background on this character -namely, how she had Anakin’s lightsaber -we were told, ‘Eh, don’t ask’. Like, literally, the character said, “Another time.” in response to being asked how she had it. She appears in TLJ just long enough to say, “Go find this dude who spends all of his time in this casino, and ask him to help you -I’m very busy, so I can’t help you, but this guy I’ve had sex with in the past -he can help you.” That was it. Her entire screen time was about two minutes. They wanted their ‘good ally’ token for having a half-black/half-Hispanic actress voicing her, but didn’t want to put any work in to.

And good lord, Phasma. This character was presented in the movies as the ultimate bad guy; both Gwendoline Christie and Disney screamed from the rooftops about how awesome it was that there was a Star Wars female villain, and how we would love her due to her ‘actions, and her character!’. And then we were presented with roughly seven minutes of screen time, in which she did nothing, other than antagonize Fin somewhat, only to pathetically die to the janitor man. They wanted to get their ‘good ally’ token for having a female villain, but they didn’t want to put any work in to it.

The lesbian kissing scene? Not only were they unnamed characters, one of which I don’t think we’d ever even heard speak... Not only was it a brief, four or five second shot of them kissing in the background... but it was cut from international markets. They wanted the American progressives to give them their ‘good ally’ tokens, but they were too afraid to stand by their decisions.

And that? That pretty much sums up Disney at this point. They’re the ultimate cowards. They will do only the most cursory things to get the progressive community to hail their movie, but they won’t do a penny more. They’re too afraid of losing money. They’re too afraid of angering the international markets. They want the appearance of being socially progressive, but they don’t want to put anything but the the briefest of efforts into doing it -and then they minimize what they have done.

It’s sickening. I have zero respect for cowards. I respect people who’s opinions I find abhorrent more than I respect cowards. Because it takes conviction to stand by something you believe in -it can be wrong, disgusting, or immoral, but at least you have some conviction in what you believe. You’re willing to take a stand for what you believe in.

But cowards? Cowards jump to stay with the ‘in-crowd’. Cowards do whatever it takes to make sure nobody says anything bad about them. Cowards care about profit over conviction.

[idkwhoiamanymorebutwtf]

Psycho Analyzing: Eggs Benifits

While the kids' parenting style showed a bit about them, I think it showed more about their families, really.

For example, Nurf was abusive towards Preston. This was likely due to the obvious abuse from his uncle, who was bad enough for Child Protective Services to be involved. However, with the egg, Nurf was so much less explosive. His mother is in jail. She's violent. But with Nurf? She's as good a mother as any. And of course, his dad wad never around, which amplifies his need to be there for his own son.

Then there's preston. He let Nurf abuse him- not that it was his fault, victim blaming isn't condoned here- but he seemed to be a bit meek and immediately went along with Nurf. This is probably caused by one of two things. Either his own parents were in a similar relationship (which could be why he lives with his grandmother. If his mother left or was killed and if his father was arrested or killed-), which would lead to him picking this behavior up from them, or his parents were never around. His grandmother,,though she is incredible, bless her soul, certainly doesn't strike me as a strong role model. If his parents were NEVER around, Preston likely doesn't know what a stable family structure is like, and a lot of people in those situations do follow whatever they're taught is how a family should look. So when Nurf started shoving him around, Preston would have no reason to think that isn't how parents were meant to act. I think the latter is a stronger possibility, as Preston didn't assume the role of an abused housewife until after Nurf showed abusive behaviors, implying that wasn't something he'd been exposed to before, but that he is vulnerable to anything he's exposed to, meaning his parents have likely been gone from the start. I think his love for theatre may even stem from a psychological connection formed with it directly resulting from a lack of any other role models in his life.

Next let's talk about Ered. She has a very stable home life. Her dad's are "cool", they seem to encourage her passion for extreme sports and the only downside I see is that they may be too loose with her. I mean, I'm not saying that makes them bad parents. It's just that every parent has flaws. As stated in the episode, there isn't really a right way to do any of it, and everyone's going to mess up somewhere. And the shortcomings of her dad's come through in Ered's own parenting. They put too much faith in letting her do her own thing. They sent her to Camp Campbell for her extreme sports camp despite the fact that Cameron is literally a dangerous criminal. However I also think Ered and her dad's have different reasons for being so easygoing (to a fault). Ered is into extreme sports. With that as your hobby, you learn that pain is part of the game, so she was unconcerned when her egg broke because that's how you learn. You learn by messing up. Meanwhile her own dad's seem to leave her to her own devices because, well..they let her get away with too much. They seem to view her as perfect. Ered's allowed to do what she wants by them and is always given positive reinforcement. She apparently had awful grades in school but was still sent to extreme sports camp! In the end, this really solidifies the fact that her dad's are too lenient, which is likely the cause of her behavioral issues with manipulating, using, and insulting other's.

Dolph is distinctly, pointedly, not like his own father. Dolph doesn't want to constrain his egg. He wants the egg to be a free spirit and do whatever he wants to do with his life. This is him going against his father, who thinks his passion for art is lame. Dolph is trying so hard NOT to be like his father. However, Dolph also seems to show a want to live through his own child. He paints on the egg and insists he's going to be "an artist/pro skater!" Which does allow bits of how Dolph himself was raised to shine through in a need for father to live through son, weather Dolph means to push his dreams onto the egg or not. And I do doubt he means to. He genuinely seems to think it's what his kid wants for himself, and that's something a lot of parents do when the project onto their kids, because often they're pushing what they want unintentionally.

Next we have Nerris. She's imitating her parents in a few ways. Now, look. She has good parents. A stable life. She was pushing her goals on her age, but only because it's how she and her father bonded, and she wants to bond with her kid too. Her lecturing of Harrison seemed reminiscent of how her mother seems to scold her father when he steps out of line (note the difference is that Nerris was being spiteful while her mother is normally just a bit exhasperated. Nerris and Harrison's arguing was distinctly different from the interactions between Nerris' parents.) Nerris was trying to be like her parents, very good people to aspire to parent like. Nerris just misinterpreted how to do that.

Harrison is interesting. I think people don't give his parents enough credit. Yeah, they're afraid of him. But it's not like he just does tricks. He made his brother disappear! If I did that my parents would leave me in the fucking woods to fend for myself! But Harrison's sent him to a camp to control his power's and them even bothered to show up for parents day. They care about him, and their fear is absolutely justified. Just going by lines such as "my mom says I'll grow into my looks" and "I can't wait to tell my mother!!" From Harrison, his parents were fine before the whole thing! That being said, though, they don't support him enough. For good reason or not, they don't paint his passion for magic in a good light. Hence why he defended his own egg so fiercely and put so much value in him having fun.

Now let's talk Space Kid. He's an enigma. He was very passive, relenting to whatever Neil wanted for their kid. He clearly has both parents in his life to some extent, seeing as in Parents Day he referred to them in plural, as in, both his parents. I am, though, lead to believe that his mother isn't very prominant in his life. Maybe she's neglectful or doesn't have custody rights over him or maybe She's just too busy. She seems to show up to things sometimes or he wouldn't even think to bring both his parents up..ever. But he also clings to Gwen as a mother figure of sorts and asked Muriel in Camp Corp if she was their "new mom." Of course, we can only speculate on his parents. Maybe his mother is a business woman too busy for him and his father is weak willed and does whatever she asks. Maybe she lost custody of him one way or another and his father is meek under his families preassure. One way or another, though, his mother isn't around enough and his father takes on a role much like Space Kid did in Eggs Benifits, submitting to someone else when it comes to his kid.

Neil is an odd case too. His dad did seem rather clingy. But not to the point that would inspire the level of helicopter parenting Neil displayed. But then, I got to thinking about his mother. She and Carl are divorced. She tries to buy Neil's love and is seemingly the sole recipient of his familial affection. I feel she is rather possessive of him. Not to the same level as Neil was, but enough to spur that behavior in him. I wouldn't be shocked if Neil's distaste for Carl also came from his mother's possible manipulation. Neil seems to want to be as far from his dad as possible, hence how he cranks everything up to eleven, being paranoid and posessive to an extreme as opposed to his easy going father.

With Max it's easy to see his parent's influence. They're neglectful. Maybe even physically abusive. At first his behavior just seemed to mirror theirs. But then I got to thinking. Max is a good person, deep down. He wouldn't fuck up something in his care like that. So then I thought Max probably really did just think the whole thing was dumb because it wasn't real. He seems much more mature than the other kids in that sense. But as one of the most recent episodes, where Max goes full on detective, goes to show, he doesn't have that much of an issue playing along unless he's got something else to do. So I thought...he was probably frightened. I mean, neglect and abuse victims usually are when they're given a kid, are you kidding me? He was sure he was going to mess up so he thought it'd be better to let Nikki do things alone. This really leads me to think his parents are abusive and not just neglectful. Because if his parents fucked him up by leaving him to care for himself and nothing else, I doubt he'd choose to avoid the egg like that. But if his parenta actually /hurt/ him, physically or mentally, he'd be afraid of doing the same. And this is only solidified for me by the ending where he DID come around and he DID care about the egg when it hatched, meaning his fear of messing things up is most likely why he did avoid responsibility for the egg. So yeah, he's being abused.

Finally Nikki. She REALLY seems to have a bad father. Every time she mentions him it's him doing something ranging from mmildly awkward to pretty fucked up. Like talking about hookers in front of your young daughter. Nikki's behavior here, though, seemed much like her mother. I'm a STRONG defender of Candy. She signed Nikki up to a camp she knew her daughter would enjoy, and it's not her fault it turned out to be a scam, she turned up to parents day, even if she was a bit distracted, and aparently she had Nikki go bird watching with her, showing that she does spend time with her daughter. And she was apparently responsible enough to get full custody of her kid in the divorce. Sure, Candy's a gold digger, but that has nothing to do with her love for Nikki, and yeah, she dismissed Nikki being chased out by the flower scouts as a "silly little adventure", but Nikki is prone to dramatics. Nikki talks enough about Candy to show that she is around. But it's very, very likely that, like Nikki, she has no idea what the hell she's doing. That she's scared and doesn't know what's right and what's wrong. Being a single mother is hard, and it's clear that Candy isn't the most well off financially. I really think she's really just lost on how to do things like Nikki was in this episode.

Please tell me what y'all think and give me your own interpretations of their families. :)

[severusdefender]

With a Bunch of AUs Combined, I am CAPTAIN PLANET-W8, wrong fandom

(Askbox is too small so I guess it’s time to show my AU spewing username I guess lol 0///0 hi…)

AUs & HCs: NotaMarauder!Remus (Possible Future Snupin) + Jily Didn’t Date-Marry Drunk1NiteStand to make Harry + DiffDads Lily&Petunia + Resurrected FaeLily AU

A Post Idea So Long that it’s almost like a Fic Outline: An AU where Remus was never a Marauder could actually is super interesting, because it has a spiraling implications on canon. Remus, Severus and Lily is like the sweet trifecta of book & magic nerds. Also like, being friends with Remus would drive Sev to research Werewolf remedies and care? Also be Concerned about his friend’s life.

But like, I’m not sure that Lily and Sev would do the exact same thing that the CanonMarauders do (learn to be Animagi and leave the Shrieking Shack w/ Remus even when he’s not supposed to). Maybe Severus trying to make Wolfsbane more accessible/cheaper? Or better yet, both him and Lily approach this like ethical scientists.

But on the other hand as a frequent consumer of Werewolf fiction I don’t really like how traditional and human-centric the version of Werewolves that JKR used in her ‘verse? Like, what is a werewolf like when they’re emotionally stable, feel secure, healthy? Why would they be hostile to humans in general? Why generalized feral hostility? Is it actually ingrained or a result of underlying mishandling of socialization/emotional-social support? Because obviously, Canon!James who turned into a freaking Stag didn’t get eaten so there must be something to the state of Lycanthropy. Is it a possibly segue into being a Skinwalker? Lost or suppressed information?

Would Lupin theoretically be able to keep his mind and not attack his friends or have the choice overall with better, calmer support?

Back to the AU, something that would keep Lily from drifting out of her friendship with Severus could be Remus? I’m remembering that whole, Remus Morality post thing you referenced a while back. And intense loyalty seems like a thing Remus could bring to the table? I’m not sure how else not being a Marauder would affect his personality though. Thoughts?

But since Sirius doesn’t have a Werewolf to Prank Severus with anymore I wonder what would happen then? Would it be more James or Sirius or Peter trying to snoop into where the three go during the full moon nearly every month? How would that spiral? Sev and Lily trying to close ranks around Remus, whom they don’t quite know if Dumbledore is willing to back that horse for too long compared to those with “higher” status like, James & Sirius?

Maybe a part of Sev’s radicalization that drove a spike between his and Remus’ friendship could be Severus trying to court Remus to the Dark Lord’s party? Because they were recruiting both poor and marginalized populations after all, also I *think* Remus is a pureblood technically? I forget. And Remus would’ve gotten so PISSED because he knows that would be condoning/supporting all the bad things people say about Lily, one of his only other very close friends, plus a bunch of other bad things that DEs are doing. 

The friendship split between Lily and Severus would be longer, more protracted and hurtful, not just one big blowup and a final death knell slip of the tongue. But Lily and Remus trying to reel their friend back in on top of all their other baggage (they are destined, by social constructs and WW societal standards, for mediocrity, struggle and poverty after all) and Failing. And that hurts.

And when they all graduate, Lily shortly after joins the Order, or is invited because I guess they want skilled people, and Lily Was Exceptional. But she brings along Remus, who James, Sirius & Peter (and an 4th OC or something if we need to replace, but not really tbh) may distrust him because of the thing that happened when they followed? If James /actually/ changed (that Felix Felicis-enhanced talking thing) though he might be not be shitty about it though, but I can’t really imagine Sirius letting it go what with his terrible maladaptive coping mechanisms and all. Remus might get outed among the Order, maybe, idk. That could sow distrust of him, and why they don’t tell when they shove Lily and James into a cottage with their Bastard child together in hiding.

Then it goes like that from canon, Peter is made Secret Keeper, with Sirius as the obvious decoy keeper. Severus tries to curry favor from his grunt position as a DE and accidentally spells the death knell for his estranged friend Lily, is flipped when he finallyyyy realized he’d done super-fucked up and goes to Dumbledore.

Then James & Lily get attacked by Voldie & DEs, James takes a couple DEs down before dying via AK, Lily had been researching a bunch of dark/new magic things to protect herself and her kid (who she deliberated on and eventually decided to keep). She takes a bunch of DEs down, and gives Voldemort a run for his money, but lets down her guard when Peter shows up because up until this point, despite the bad blood in school, she’s known him as a comrade in the Order.

Peter basically cripples her in a surprise attack, and then Voldemort comes up to gloat, monologue and eventually finish the job. Lily spits in his face while dying.

The underlying new ritual/shield/magic-whatever Lily cooked up while in hiding goes on not quite as planned because it overlaps with Voldemort’s accidental-Horcrux making that basically ghostifies him. But Lily still dies the first time. 

Cue Sirius getting falsely accused and Azkaban’d, Harry going to the Dursleys because supposed Blood Wards (which actually would be fine with just Harry himself and what he considers home I guess, maybe). Remus gets cut out of the picture because of his financial and career instability, also Werewolfism and other dumb prejudice, so he’s out of the loop and isn’t told about Sev being a flipped spy either. 

Cue a few years later, turns out that Lily’s biodad is actually a Fae of some kind that she had minor contact with him through postcards and letters during her life. But eventually, he pitched in on some magical doohickery for the magical design stuff she did while in hiding in Godric’s Hollow. Then everything kicks off again a mostly Amnesiac FaeLily crawls out of her grave and gets a burning treewand branch of a Groot-Arm.

Somehow this culminates FaeLily accidentally getting the band back together and yoinking Harry. Then cue shenanigans and reconciliation and character development/interactions and possibly romantic Snupin and maybe an earned happy ending somewhere because my heart is soft and I’m a total weenie and this post got way longer than I thought it’d be lol. Overall thoughts? Impressions? Anything I missed while stringing these half-baked ideas together? X3

Thanks for reading and responding to so many of my posts. Your takes and posts are always a delight to read! <3333

Part2 of the AU Multi-fecta Thing I Sent Earlier

Some stuff I forgot:

-Tempted to name this Sweet Insane Combo of an AU: 2 Gryffindors and a Slytherin Walk into a Traincar

-Maybe add some shades of the Cons of Cokeworth AU idea (yes I sent that too, I’m literally a neverending fountain of AUs and theories for literally every fandom I get into, it’s a gift). –Lily constantly worries over money (Petunia’s biodad’s the gambler?) and is bitter over the way society is structured, leading her to grow into an excellent, Hard-working Con & Swindler-of-those-that-deserve-it (like how she’s been fleecing James, Sirius, Peter and others for all 7 of her Hogwarts years while trying to maintain good PR without being known as a money grubber or a thief bc Anonymity is Key)

-TBH i feel like she’d just cook up a plan to live with her 2 friends after school because “it’s cheaper” and she figures that they could’ve kept up the Werewolf research stuff easier by being housemates, but hilariously and sadly forgetting to tell said 2 friends about her plans before starting to work her ass off to scrape up as much money as possible. –“We all know Rems would guilt himself into living like a fucking hobo, and Cokeworth is a place where dreams go to die, so of course we’re getting a fucking house.”

-Yanno, then the AU-version of the Friendship split and Voldemort faction gains even more traction with the 1st WW Civil War going on.

-Trawling through the wiki again, Remus’ parents basically isolated him a pretty unhealthy amount I feel (like they probably thought they were doing the right thing at the time, which solved an immediate problem, but ends up compounding into a long-term host of issues)? Which I don’t think did Lupin’s socialization and emotional stabilitygrowth sloshing down into his Werewolf form any favors perhaps?

-So basically Remus refused to move back in with his dad (because he didn’t want to burden his dad I guess), despite him being alive, so Remus living in poverty-plus probably in and out of homelessess as well as the medical and security complications of being a werewolf without access to necessary resources? Also okay I forgot that Remus was a Halfblood too, whoops

-There’s an Irony in that Severus is the most human (species-wise) between the 3 AU Friends, what with Werewolf!Remus and Post-Resurrection Fae!Lily

-There’d be a whole mystery as to the intentions of Lily’s mysterious Fae Parent father(?), which may or may not be good intentions, they just don’t really know atm

…Okay I think that’s it… Whew, thoughts?

X'3

Nice to finally meet you @markala5 

ok wow this is a lot. first of all i love it and it feels whole so i don’t know what i can say. it’s the found family trope subverted a little because things fall apart but they get back together when lily is resurrected. and voldemort and his death eaters get to be the big bad. plus dumbledore as the leader of the order who is starting to realise that harry needs to end voldemort and his horcruxes but lily can’t imagine letting her child do that because she’s grown to love him after forgetting him so instead of the golden trio, it’s lily, severus and remus finding the horcruxes but harry needs to die and the three of them are frantically researching a solution but it needs to happen. they send him off in a manner similar to canon except they’re alive and later they see harry’s body and he’s so small and it’s so heartbreaking until he runs from the death eaters. 

this au has so much potential

[shireness-says]

Playing the Part ch. 2: Getting to Know You

Summary:  As a stage manager who's clawed her way up from bottom, Emma Swan can handle just about anything thrown her way. But does that include handsome lead actor Killian Jones? A CS Broadway AU. Rated T. Also on AO3. Prologue  Ch. 1

A/N: We’re back, with my favorite Jones Brothers conversation I’ve written so far and a great Captain Swan bonding moment! Chapter title from “The King and I”.

Thanks, as always, to @snidgetsafan, my phenomenal beta. She’s the absolute best.

A disclaimer:  This chapter addresses Belle's backstory, which is... less than pleasant. Nothing so bad that there need to be archive warnings, but power dynamics were definitely taken advantage of. I want to make it clear that I'm not condoning what's happened to her, and I've tried to express that in the actual writing, but I just want to reiterate it here. Just because it happened, doesn't mean I'm ok with it, or that you have to be either.

That being said, I hope you enjoy the chapter anyway!

Tags: @kmomof4, @winterbaby89, @thejollyroger-writer, @mythologicalmango, @onceuponaprincessworld, @idristardis, @teamhook, @courtorderedcake, @aerica13, @revanmeetra87, @snowbellewells, @searchingwardrobes

“... but not handsome enough to tempt me.”

God, he hates that line. Yes, it’s from the source material, and yes, it is crucial to the plot, but he always feels like an absolute dick saying it. Belle is an absolutely lovely woman, inside and out, and doesn’t deserve to hear those words directed her way, even in character.

He’s actually apologized for the way he’s acted before in character, had felt like he had to. Belle, bless her heart, laughed and waved off his apologies.

“For the record, I can tell the difference between you and your character, Killian,” she had said. “Please don’t worry about it.”

But he worries anyways. Part of it is just his nature, Killian supposes - he’s a man with a heart built for concern and mild anxiety, it seems. But Belle really does seem rather isolated, and he hates to reinforce that even in character.

He’s heard the rumors, of course - the industry is smaller than they’d like to pretend, and when word made it around that Belle French had been cast in the iconic role of Elizabeth Bennet, old gossip about the woman had made the rounds again too. It’s a horrible story, predictable in all the worst ways: young, up-and-coming actress embarks on a relationship with an older producer. Actress decides that the relationship has run its course. Actress is suddenly, mysteriously branded as “difficult to work with” and struggles to land roles.

Meeting Belle in person, it’s particularly absurd. She’s ridiculously talented and probably one of the nicest and least difficult people he knows and really, it’s not fair. There’s been an increase in accountability in this industry lately, something that’s desperately needed, but the lawyers are still focused on the things they can prosecute - obvious cases of assault and manipulation. Belle’s circumstances don’t clearly fit either of those criteria, having willingly engaged in the relationship, one she thought was based on mutual respect and affection. It doesn’t help that Gold is a major player in this game, able to affect people’s opinions for better or worse with his word alone. For the past several years, Belle’s just been left to flounder on her own with her professional reputation wrongly in tatters. For the moment, no one cares. It’s all so disgustingly unfair.

Personally, Killian thinks Belle deserves the world. He hopes this show is a massive success for a variety of reasons - selfish ones obviously included - but not the least of them is the hope that it’ll reshape the current narrative around Belle, show that she’s talented and kind and an absolute delight. She needs that. She deserves that.

Belle tells him about it herself one day over a cup of tea during one of the rehearsal breaks. He didn’t ask, not explicitly, but she must sense the confusion in his eyes and in his mind about how someone with so much sheer raw talent has been cast aside by the industry.

“He was such a gentleman at first, you know? Yeah, I was getting roles, and probably part of that was because I was seeing him, but I genuinely loved him, and him me. I knew he had a reputation for being tough and focused on success above everything else, but he always encouraged me, and was so happy when I landed roles and was doing well. So when I felt the relationship had come to a natural end, I just figured…” She pauses in her recounting, hurriedly wiping at the tears forming in her eyes. Killian tries to comfort her as best he can, digging one-handed through his pockets for a tissue as he tries to rub her back soothingly with the other. He feels so useless, so male in this situation, but he’s still determined to help and comfort her in any way he can.

“I feel so stupid some days,” Belle continues, gratefully accepting the single kleenex he was able to locate in an inner jacket pocket (and God, he hopes it wasn’t used). “I just… I should have known right away he was insane.”

Killian likes to think he’s a good friend, and a good man, but he’s also a kid who grew up in theaters and around theatre kids, and as he does his best to reassure his scene partner that she’s in no way responsible for the actions of that bastard, he has to forcibly remind himself not to smile at such a bad time at her unintentional quoting.

The stage manager, Emma, is walking past at just that moment, though, and he’s pretty sure he hears her mutter the next words under her breath, so he’s comforted by the knowledge that he’s not the only one with terrible timing and a bad sense of humor.

But again, it’s not the time to ask about it. Killian is 100% focused and committed to being a supportive friend to Belle in this moment - he’ll have to ask later. Preferably out of earshot, before they both get a reputation for being horrible human beings who laugh at unfortunate times.

But there’s never really a chance to ask later - their short break is up before he knows it, and then it’s straight back into choreography. Their choreographer, a vibrant redhead named Ariel, may have a sweet demeanor, but there’s a spine of steel underneath that smile, and Killian knows better than to dawdle. He’ll catch Emma later, he thinks, some time when he’s not needed. But even in those moments when Killian doesn’t strictly need to be doing anything but hang around and watch, waiting for his next instructions and ideally reviewing the script (it’s never too soon to be off book, after all), Swan is invariably still busy.

So Killian waits. The opportunity will present itself, he’s sure.

------

It’s been a good day, Emma is pleased to note. The sheer potential of this show is truly shaping up into something that, with plenty of polishing, just might be magnificent. There’s always going to be issues - after working so many shows, Emma has learned that off-stage drama is an inevitability - but for the most part, even the cast is obliging her by staying professional and getting along. Which is literally all she asks for. Zelena has a definite penchant to complain about anything and everything, but it’s not yet at a point that they can’t handle or that needs addressing.

Still, even a good day is exhausting in it’s own way. Emma is ready to make whatever calls are necessary (just Robin and the props guy today, she thinks), and get home. Yeah, the apartment will be quiet with Henry at Neal’s for Labor Day weekend, but she could probably use a little quiet - a chance to recharge, if you will.

However, that chance disintegrates at the sight of Mary Margaret approaching with a smile full of intent. For all her sweetness, Emma’s learned that her friend can be stubborn and determined, nigh on unmovable when she wants to be, and all the signs are suggesting this will be one of those times.

“Emma!” the petite brunette practically chirps. “It’s been so long since we’ve had a Girl’s Night, hasn’t it?”

It’s not a subtle opening at all, and Emma spots where Mary Margaret is going with this from a mile away. “Oh, I don’t know,” she tries to deflect, hoping against hope that maybe she can still wheedle herself out of these plans. “Seems like we all did something only a few weeks ago —”

“Don’t be silly,” Mary Margaret interrupts, flippantly waving a hand as if to literally shoo Emma’s protests away. “You’re thinking of that brunch date we had, the one Henry came to. It’s been ages since we had a proper Girls’ Night. And since Henry’s gone this weekend, really, there’s no better time!”

“I don’t know,” Emma tries to protest. “I’ve really got a lot that still needs doing, I don’t know if I’ll be able to make it.” It’s not true in the least. The best part about a good day is that even when she is left with things on her to-do list, they’re quick little housekeeping bits, not major crises she needs to untangle. Unfortunately, after a decade of friendship, Mary Margaret knows that too, and fixes her with an unimpressed look.

“Uh uh,” she responds, shaking her head with finality. “No excuses. I’m going to find Ruby, and we are going out. I won’t let you sit at home all lonely with Henry gone. You’re not getting out of this, Emma Swan.”

Much as Emma hates to admit it - hates to admit defeat in general, really - she’s well aware that she really isn’t going to be able to weasel her way out of this. When Mary Margaret gets that look in her eye and that tone in her voice, nothing can sway her from whatever evil plan she’s devised. For better or worse, Emma will be going out tonight. She only hopes it won’t be too miserable an outing. “Fine,” she concedes, holding up a hand to silence Mary Margaret’s happy squeal. “But I am not lonely. And only for a little bit.”

“Oh Emma, we’re going to have so much fun!” her friend gushes, seemingly ignoring the end of Emma’s sentence. “I’ll call Ruby right now, have her meet us at the Grey Lady. Oh! I wonder if Belle would want to go!”

Emma groans as her dreams of a quiet evening in drift further and further away with every expansion of Mary Margaret’s plans. The likelihood of fun seems pretty small right now; Emma settles for just hoping she’ll make it out of this alive and sans hangover.

------

It’s been a long day, but a rewarding one. His script is filled with new notes, he finally isn’t tripping over the rhythms of the proposal scene song, and his feet are tired from practicing ballroom steps over and over again. It’s a pattern he’s getting used to, day by day, but the fact still remains; it’s exhausting.

Killian is just planning to finally go talk to their fearless stage manager, see if she said what he’s 87.9% certain he heard and hopefully trudge home when Nolan practically corners him, effectively ending that plan.

“You’ve got to come out tonight,” David whispers frantically, hunched over in a way that he must think looks surreptitious, but in reality just looks awkward and uncomfortable.

“Ok…” Killian whispers back. “Why?”

“Because I just heard that Mary Margaret is going to be at the Grey Lady tonight with a group of friends!”

“...okay, and?”

“And I like her!” David hisses, seemingly insulted for no apparent reason.

“Calm down, mate, jeez. What, you need an excuse to go, rather than just showing up?”

“Yes!”

“Do I have to whisper the entire night?”

This is apparently the last of David’s patience, as he rolls his eyes and snaps out a response. “For God’s sakes, no. Now will you come with me, or not?”

It’d really be mean at this point, after all the teasing, to tell him no. Killian doesn’t really have plans anyways; he’d tentatively scheduled a call with Liam, but they can always talk later and text throughout the night.

“Alright, Dave, I’ll go with you. Where’s this place at?”

“... About that…”

Excellent.

------

Only for a little bit, she had told Mary Margaret. And she had meant it; despite all her friend’s wheedling about how she’d be lonely at home with Henry at Neal’s, Emma had been looking forward to a quiet evening. Of course, that’s all wishful thinking.

Belle had been interested in joining the outing, as had Elsa, as had their Lydia and three of the chorus girls since it seemed like Mary Margaret had invited every female member of the cast. The Grey Lady has been reduced to a cacophony of female laughter and conversation as Emma desperately tries to either escape or ignore the chaos, both efforts to no avail. For the moment, Emma’s perched at the end of the bar with Elsa trying to cheer her up, purple drink in hand (a Grateful Dead, because “you can’t just get whiskey, Emma, this is Girls’ Night, you have to get something fun.” Ugh.).

“I know you don’t want to be here in the least,” Elsa tries to cajole, “but hey, as long as you’re here, you might as well make the most of it. We can play a game of darts or something if you want, that’d at least get you out of the major crush here at the bar.”

She means so well, trying to coax Emma out of the corner and out of her funk, but honestly, Emma’s quite determined to stay exactly as she is. “It’s really fine, Elsa,” she replies. “Honestly, I’m just hoping that if I sit here and don’t move for long enough, Mary Margaret will forget that I’m here and maybe I can just slip out.”

Elsa snorts at that, which is really enough of a response on its own. “Yeah, good luck with that.” Her face still turns concerned and serious when the humor wears off as she does her best to fuss over Emma. “Are you sure? I’m happy to stay with you if you want, but if you don’t…” Elsa trails off tellingly. Emma honestly feels a little bit bad. For all her introversion, Elsa really does enjoy evenings out like this when she sets her mind to it, and Emma is effectively holding her back from having fun by insisting on being a sad sack at the bar.

“Really, Elsa, I’m fine. Go have fun! It looks like they’re starting some kind of drinking game up over there, that’ll certainly be entertaining if nothing else.”

Elsa’s eyes dart back towards the other ladies longingly, but her voice and body language is still hesitant. “If you’re sure…”

“Yes! I’ll be fine. Don’t let my attitude ruin the night, I’m happy enough with my stupid purple drink. You know I like watching drinking games more than playing anyways. Go!”

“Alright, but you’ll let me know if you change your mind and want company, right?” Elsa fusses as she grabs her drink and stands to leave. It’s a small progress. Emma nods impatiently, all but ready to push Elsa towards the other women. It must be obvious on her face though, as Elsa laughs before dropping an affectionate kiss on the side of Emma’s head. “Ok, ok, I’m gone. Do try to have fun, Emma, just find someone to talk to for ten minutes. And don’t drink too much, because I’m going to need you to lead me back home!”

“Yeah, yeah,” Emma mutters in response. She makes no promises, especially on the socializing front.

———

The bar is much busier than Killian had expected when he, David, and Booth arrive. Killian isn’t exactly sure how the last man got invited; he certainly didn’t have any part in it. August Booth is a genial enough man, however, a perfect casting for Colonel Fitzwilliam in temperament, so his presence tonight won’t be any true hardship. If Killian had to hazard a guess, David had probably invited him for more credence to his cover story that he just happens to be at the same bar as the lady he’s interested in on some sort of boys’ night outing. It seems that the ladies’ outing may have expanded as well; while Killian had expected to see Mary Margaret and Swan, it appears half the female cast is crowded into the bar as well, Mary Margaret unsurprisingly at the center of everything, playing hostess even though the bar is obviously not her house. It doesn’t take long for her to notice their own little group’s entrance, and she hurries over with a wide smile.

“David! Killian! August! What a pleasant surprise!” she gushes. Killian is amused to see that her cheeks are ever-so-slightly flushed. Perhaps David’s little crush isn’t quite so ridiculous as he seems to think. David himself looks a little struck by his lady’s entrance, so Killian quickly takes the reins of the conversation.

“Aye, it truly is. Thought we’d go out tonight, have a bit of a bonding exercise. You don’t mind that we’re here, do you? We didn’t mean to crash whatever you’ve got going on here.” It’s a blatant lie, but Killian is counting on the brunette being too flustered by their - well, David’s sudden appearance to notice.

It seems to be working, thankfully, as Mary Margaret smiles brightly. “Of course not! We planned this as a little Girls’ Night, but you’re more than welcome to stay and socialize! The more the merrier, right?”

It’s impossible not to like the woman, really. While she’s far too perky for Killian to ever be romantically interested, Mary Margaret is such a deeply kind and pleasant person that only the truly cruel would ever take a dislike to her. “Aye, thank you.”

“Is that some sort of drinking game I see about to start?” August cuts in, likely saving them all from an encounter quickly veering towards the awkward and overly sincere.

“I think it’s more of a contest, knowing Ruby,” their quasi-host laughs, “but yes, they’re about to start. A bit wild for me, so I was about to go get another cosmo. David, Killian? Do either of you want to join me?” The invitation is technically extended to both of them, but Killian sees the way her gaze keeps focusing on David, hears the way her voice pitches up hopefully, and quickly makes his excuses.

“I actually think I might grab a beer and try my hand at the dart board, so I’ll leave you two to it.” It’s probably not the most subtle move, but David’s already shooting him a grateful look, so he supposes that his words have been effective enough.

It’s as he’s walking further down the bar to get his drink that he spots Swan in the corner, where he hadn’t noticed her when he had entered the bar, wearing a sour look on her face and sipping on something in a near fluorescent purple. Somehow, he’s not surprised to see her set apart from the thick of things; their straight-laced stage manager doesn’t seem like she’d be particularly comfortable in a chattering crowd of women. It may be taking his life in his hands considering the look Swan has on her face, but he veers to join her at the end of the bar, more enthusiastic about the prospect of spending his time chatting with her than facing the female crush everywhere else.

The skeptical look Swan shoots him as he saunters over with a charming smile should be his second warning, but Killian’s never had much of a self-preservation instinct anyways. “Fancy meeting you here,” he grins.

Swan snorts in return. “Oh, that’s what you’re going with?”

“I couldn’t possibly know what you mean.” It’s another blatant lie, and unlike Mary Margaret, Killian can see that Swan knows exactly why he’s really doing in this bar, sees right past all his and David’s excuses.

“Oh please,” Swan replies, rolling her eyes and confirming what he had expected about her ability to spot his lies. “Like you guys showing up isn’t a blatant excuse for David to flirt with Mary Margaret. The only reason she doesn’t realize it is she’s so damn smitten herself. It’s a little disgusting.”

“You wound me, Swan. It’s an absolute coincidence that we happen to be at the same bar.” Receiving a final unamused look, he collapses onto a stool, giving up the pretense. “They really are smitten, aren’t they? And absolutely obtuse about the matter.”

“Really, they are,” Swan grumbles in return. “Like, it’s so obvious they’ve got a thing for each other, I’m about ready to start placing bets about how long it will take.”

Killian chuckles. “Well, let me know if you ever do, I’d be happy to contribute to the pot.” There’s silence between them for a few minutes as Killian orders his beer, turning back to his companion once his cold drink is in hand. “I can leave you alone if you’d prefer,” he offers, noting the stormy look still occupying her face. “Conversation with you seemed much less intimidating than with the chattering female masses over there, but if you prefer —”

“It’s fine, really,” she waves him off. “I’m just…” she pauses, as if trying to find the words to explain.

“Really Swan, I don’t need an explanation if you don’t —”

“Did you know I have a son?” she interrupts.

It’s news to him. It does explain why he so often catches her trying to surreptitiously check her phone - probably trying to make sure nothing’s wrong with her boy. As he shakes his head in the negative, Emma continues.

“Well, I do. He’s ten. He’s with his dad this weekend. And I’m glad he’s excited about that, but it always makes me…” She waves at her face and its expression, as if that’s an acceptable substitute for actually finishing her sentence with words. Honestly, she’s not wrong on that front, her irritated expression speaking volumes. “So it’s not you, and it’s not the company, and it’s not this outing or party or whatever.” She pauses. “Ok, maybe the last one, but that’s because I’d much rather be at home angrily drinking by myself than being dragged out on the town. But Mary Margaret and Ruby are convinced that if I’m at home, I’ll be wallowing in loneliness, so they dragged me out here against my will.” Another eye roll clearly illustrates Swan’s own thoughts on the matter, and Killian finds himself inexplicably charmed by the gesture. The more he learns and sees of Emma Swan, the more he’s fascinated by her, and he’s glad she hasn’t just unceremoniously sent him on his way tonight.

“Ah, well, that makes two of us,” Killian replies genially, before immediately backtracking. “Not the son bit, but the not particularly wanting to be here. I’d planned to go home and call my brother tonight, but David practically begged me to help in this little farce and… well, long story short, here I am.”

“Here we both are.” She raises her glass to his in a short salute to the unenthusiastic and unwilling.

After taking a swig of his beer, Killian sets his glass back down and turns to Emma with purpose. “It’s not all bad, really. I’ve been trying to find a moment to speak with you all day.”

“Oh?” Her eyebrows raise in curiosity and confusion as she raises her own glass to take another sip of her purple monstrosity. Based on the way her mouth puckers as the alcohol hits her tongue, he thinks she might feel the same way about her beverage.

“Well, you see, I thought I heard you quoting a certain musical earlier…”

Swan immediately groans, her head dropping as if in resignation or defeat. Killian is confident that the only thing keeping her from banging her head on the counter is her folded arms braced against the worn and stained wood. “I was hoping no one heard that.”

“‘This is my husband, we’re from Maine’? I’m impressed by your Sondheim knowledge, Swan, but your timing needs work.”

“I know, I know. It’s… Henry and I have this game, you see, where we try to slip in lyrics without the other knowing. He actually knows a lot, just by virtue of being my kid and practically being raised in theaters. So when I heard Belle, I wasn’t trying to turn it into a joke or something awful like that, it was just… a reflex, I guess.”

“Second nature,” Killian nods in return. “I’m not holding it against you, love, a man just doesn’t expect to hear Assassins quotes tossed around willy-nilly.”

“Thanks.” Catching the bartender’s attention, she holds up her glass in the universal sign for ‘more, please’. “For the record, I’m impressed you caught that. Assassins is pretty much at the top of my list of shows to see, but not everyone knows about it.”

“You can blame my brother for that,” Killian chuckles. “After I decided to become a theatre actor, he decided I needed a full history of the genre. Except the tosser knows next to nothing about musicals and can’t sing a note, so it was mostly just him telling me a lot of Sondheim and Andrew Lloyd Webber facts. Which means I know a disproportionate amount about Cats and Into the Woods. Assassins was at least a more enjoyable entry in his so-called education.”

The story at least gets her to laugh, displacing that foul look she’s been wearing for a moment. “Your brother sounds like a handful. I mean, it sounds like he means well, but wow.”

“Oh, you have no idea,” Killian grumbles, eliciting another laugh from his companion. He could get used to that sound, given the chance. “But enough about that wanker. What would you say to a game of pool, Swan?”

Her answering grin is acceptance and challenge, all at once. “Oh, you’re on, Jones.”

———

It’s late when Killian finally calls Liam; he’s not rightfully sure how late, a series of beers, and later glasses of rum, blurring his perception of time, but he knows it’s far past a respectable hour. The only saving grace is that his older brother is currently out in Los Angeles, three hours behind Killian’s local time. Perhaps that will do something to make up for the perceived lateness of the hour.

“Hello?” sounds Liam’s voice from the other end of the line, and Killian is relieved to hear that his brother’s voice is the normal kind of tired, not the just-woken-up kind. Killian may be a bit drunk, but he’s not so far gone that he can’t tell the difference.

“Brother!” he practically chirps in response. “I know it’s late, but I promised I’d call, didn’t I?”

The chuckle from the other end of the line is warm, if exhausted. “Aye, that you did. Tell me, Killy, how much have you had to drink? Are you ok to find your way home?”

“Oh, a good bit. I’ll be fine.” Liam definitely can’t see the dismissive wave of Killian’s hand, but that doesn’t stop him in the least, his impulse control and logic severely compromised. “David convinced me to come out. Have I told you about Dave, Liam? Dave’s a good mate.”

“Aye, you have. I might have to have a few words with Dave if this is going to become a regular occurence. It’s after 11, Killian, which is even later for you.”

“Oh, don’t scold Dave. I didn’t even spend most of the night with him, I spent it with Swan! I’ve talked about Swan before, haven’t I, Liam?” Oh, he really ought to have talked about Swan before. It’d be a utter shame if he hadn’t - he just can’t properly remember right now.

“Are you making friends with birds, Killy?” Liam’s voice is amused, but Killian is less so upon hearing his older brother’s response.

“Don’t be daft, Liam,” he all but snaps. “No, Swan is the stage manager. I must have told you about her.”

The voice on the other end of the line hums as if in realization. “Ah, the one you’re so fascinated with?”

Even with his delayed responses, Killian can feel himself blush. “I’m not fascinated, Liam,” he explains in what he thinks is a perfectly level and reasoned tone of voice, slightly slurred words be damned. “She’s just a very nice lady. And talented. And lovely too.” The humming noise comes from the other end of the line again, causing Killian to adopt a defensive tone. “I don’t have a crush on her Liam, stop that.”

“I never said you did,” Liam says with amusement coloring his voice. Killian can just imagine the placating hand he must be raising to calm his younger brother back down.

“She’s just very good at her job,” Killian tries to explain. “I admire her.”

“Of course you do,” Liam replies soothingly. “And I know you don’t have any feelings for her, but just in case, tread carefully, alright? It’s not a particularly good idea to get involved with people you’re working closely with.”

“I will be,” Killian dutifully says, before hastening to add, “But it won’t be necessary, Liam. She’s just a friend.”

“Whatever you say, Killian,” Liam placates. “Call me in the morning when the alcohol wears off, aye? I’ll talk to you later.”

“Aye, brother, tomorrow.” There’s the usual exchange of affections to close out the call, and then Killian’s left to his own thoughts again, and still needing to find his way home.

Liam can say all he wants, but no matter how fascinating Killian finds Emma Swan, it’s nothing more than a platonic interest. Even if she is lovely and interesting and brilliant and absolutely someone he could have romantic feelings for.

———

It’s such a cliche to say that their interactions at the bar are the beginning of a beautiful friendship, but Emma thinks she and Jones - Killian, she could probably call him now - might be on their way there. Killian is easy to talk to, charming, funny, and apparently willing to participate in ridiculous romantic schemes in service of a friend. The professional part of Emma feels victorious that they apparently cast the perfect man to play their Mr. Darcy; the rest of her is left just wondering how he’s real. The man acts like something out of one of Mary Margaret’s awful romantic comedies, and Emma’s not sure what to do about it.

It doesn’t help that he seems especially determined to be a gentleman towards Emma in particular. He already does all the door holding and ‘ladies first’ nonsense, but he’s taken to helping Emma collect all the various and sundry things she lends out from her supply box over the course of a day and bringing her hot chocolate in the mornings. She’s not even sure how he knows about the hot chocolate thing; who knows, maybe she told him herself that night at the bar. Emma does get chatty when she gets tipsy, even if she doesn’t like to admit it. Regardless, he’s even figured out that she likes cinnamon on top, and presents the to-go cups each morning with a smile that is much brighter than Emma is properly prepared to see before noon.

They’re friends now, she supposes. That’s what Emma’s willing to admit to at least. Sure, she can easily see how that friendship could turn into something more if they both let it, but they work together. It would be such a bad idea - if not downright disastrous. Friendship is safe; friendship is something they can both handle. There’s absolutely no attraction and no feelings on either side.

Emma only hopes that if she repeats that mantra enough, the words will actually stay true.

[wulfies-corner]

Reasons Why (BTS Reaction to their S/O Deciding not to Drink Alcohol) *REQUEST*

A/N: My first request! I had a lot of trouble with this as the idea wasn’t my own, but it was fun! Just letting everyone know that I did this because this anon was the first ask I ever received on tumblr. It was special and I was excited about it. My requests aren’t currently going anywhere as I’m currently still in the process of writing two series. I MIGHT open up my requests, but that depends. It’s a pretty big MIGHT.  Anyway, please enjoy! 

Fandom: BTS

Genre: Reactions/Fluff

Summary: BTS reactions/interactions to your decision to not drink alcohol. Each member’s reader has a different reason. 

Jin

Even during nights where you and the boys would go out or hold little movie nights in the dorm, you and Jin would spend most of the night cooking or just being in the kitchen. It was never unusual that you and Jin would go through the whole night sober anyone could be, so nobody ever really bothered you about it. At least, that’s how it was now. A few years ago, when you and Jin started dating, he sat you down with a question.

“(Y/N), please don’t take offence to this,” he started slowly to your confusion, sitting beside you at the dinner table and watching you munch on a piece of cheese. “Sure, what’s up?” “Is there a reason why you don’t drink?” He asked. “Even when we go out to a bar you end up just mooching off of Namjoon’s chicken wings, you never seem to have anything other than juice or mocktails.”

You looked down but smiled when Jin started babbling as if he offended you. “No, don’t worry about it, Jinny. I… I’ve always had kind of a hard time talking about it no matter how much better I feel about it now.” “You don’t have to explain if you don’t want to.”

You shook your head. “It’s okay. You deserve an explanation anyway considering,” you chuckle faintly. “My dad was a pretty bad alcoholic. He’s smart, talented, everything you’d want out of a great dad, but my mom was a pretty terrible person and it weighed too much on him. He drank himself into calmness and I hated seeing him in these… stupors. I hated watching him get hurt because of both alcohol and my mom. When my mom finally left it took him years of work, rehab, AA meetings and relapses until he was fully sober. I can’t let myself fall into the same hole, so I choose not to drink at all.”

Jin smiled at you. “I understand. You know, I can be quite the good mock bartender. If you want any special drinks without alcohol in them, I’d be happy to make them for you.”

“Thank you. I’m glad you support me,” “Of course. Why wouldn’t I?”

Yoongi

You were glad that Yoongi was often the most chill member of the group. When you explained to him that the reason you chose not to drink was just a simple personal choice, he was all for supporting you in the most casual way you could imagine.

When he visited with your family in your home country for the first time, he casually did his best to speak proper English to your relatives, to be polite and likeable. You didn’t expect that much effort to impress your family since you had already warned him that it wasn’t easy to gain your extended family’s affection, but it looked like he was actively trying. Despite how rude they were and slightly offensive your grandfather was, he maintained his composure and respect in the midst of your slightly abusive relatives.

At least he did until dinner.

Both your parents didn’t often intervene at family gatherings. Your father was timid, especially since he had grown up the softer of the two and his set of three brothers, as well as growing up in the care of his verbally strict father. He never made any moves unless something was escalating to violence. Your mother was a little more vocal, but she had already spent her anger on a heated argument with one of your uncles earlier in the day, so she expected you to defend yourself.

However, that was not happening anytime soon. “(Y/N), drink your wine.” Your youngest aunt looked over at you, noticing that you hadn’t touched your wine glass. You had been reluctantly sipping at the tiny glass of tomato juice that you also hated but despised less than the alcohol sitting in front of you. “Don’t you know how expensive that White was?”

You looked down at your plate, stuffing more food in your mouth so that you wouldn’t have to answer.

“Listen to Aunt (A/N). Drink,” your grandfather spat. He never liked you but tolerated you because you were family. He found you a delinquent and uncultured for reasons you couldn’t fathom. He was also the only person in your family that wasn’t okay with Yoongi coming to visit from Korea.

“I don’t mean to show any disrespect,” Yoongi said as clear as he could, speaking through his thick accent. He gripped your free hand underneath the table, “but (Y/N) has chosen not to drink. Don’t you think it might be decent to not try and force her?”

“I don’t think you understand-” you oldest Aunt tried to speak, but Yoongi interrupted her. “Then take her glass and finish it yourself. Don’t you see how uncomfortable she is? If she respects you, the least you can do is respect her decision.” Yoongi turned to smile at you, reached for your glass and moved it to the centre of the table, nodding when you quietly thanked him. The rest of the dinner felt silent and awkward, but you were thankful that he was there to support you in the midst of family you were forced to spend time with.

Hoseok

Somehow, in the world of Twitter, scandals and an increasingly nosey Taehyung, you and Hoseok were trying to keep a generally secretive relationship. A few months ago you had lost your house due to some unavoidable financial circumstances, and you were thankfully allowed to move into the BTS dorm. This, of course, went from one thing to another, and a few weeks before your birthday party, you found out that you were pregnant.

Hoseok took the news pretty well, and you could dare to say that the two of you were excited about it: but now wasn’t the time to announce it. While you and Hoseok were a secretive couple, you could be a little… obvious at times.

At the party, you avoided drinking. In fact, you didn’t even try to hide it. You wandered around the flat with a wineglass full of milk in hand, Hoseok following you around and drinking anything alcohol related that was offered to you.

“You know, sweets, they’re gonna figure it out if you keep doing that,” you whispered as you both awkwardly walked away after he downed a shot offered to you by Namjoon.

“Don’t worry,” he cooed. “They won’t.” Sure enough… “Hey, (Y/N), got a reason for hanging onto that milk?” Taehyung asked as he approached you with a grin, also nursing a non-alcoholic drink of simple orange juice in a champagne glass. “Could ask you the same question,” Hoseok fired back before you could open your mouth. You rolled your eyes.

Taehyung squinted at his elder, smirking. “I’m the sober one out of this group. I’ve seen (Y/N) get shitfaced on multiple occasions while I’ve always had my trusty orange juice. Yet here I stand, watching you down all her alcohol while she drinks cow squeezings.”

You couldn’t hold back your laughter, “cow squeezings?” Taehyung grinned mischievously at you. At this point, everyone had turned to the conversation. “Yeah, why aren’t you drinking, (Y/N)? You’re usually Jabba drunk by now,” Jin squints in your direction, placing down a bowl of cheese dip and chips on the living room table.

“I think I know,” Namjoon adds, a smirk spreading on his lips.

“Don’t you-”

“(Y/N), you’re pregnant?!” Jimin interjects nearly immediately.

Everyone who was sitting down *coughYoongicough* and standing away from the conversation all moved to crowd you after they heard Jimin’s accusation. Hoseok did his best to block them from getting too close, but he was tipsy and more than a little bit wobbly.

“Calm down,” you put up your hands in surrender to the horde of boys, “yes, I’m pregnant.” However, that didn’t stop any of them. Through the crowding and the tipsy group (except for Taehyung), Hoseok did his best to defend you. “There’s another human life in her belly,” he cried, “don’t crowd her! She’s mine, leave her alone!”

You couldn’t help but roll your eyes and laugh. No matter how secretive you tried to be, everyone else always found out sooner or later.

Namjoon

“Want anything, (Y/N)?” Namjoon looked at you with a smile, doing his best to talk over top the loud music in the half restaurant half bar you two managed to stumble into during a walk through your hometown. “Oh, no thanks,” you shook your head, watching as he nodded and asked the server for just a single glass of his own choice of drink. He had also ordered wings that you would pick at, but you never really had any interest in alcohol. Besides, restaurants in this area always served a glass of water anyway so you would be fine.

“Any reason why?” He asked curiously as the server turned to walk away.

You shrugged. “Never really was interested,” you answer honestly. “I never liked bitter drinks to begin with and the number of drunk drivers nowadays is appalling,” you explain to his nod of agreement, “I don’t want to condone it, you know?”

“I understand. The aspect of alcohol isn’t going to appeal to everyone,” he agrees, “sometimes it barely even interests me… but I’m curious to know what this caesar tastes like.”

You smiled. “I wouldn’t know, but my dad likes them. It’s got hot sauce I think, clamato juice, celery salt, some other stuff and vodka if I remember correctly. Something to drink if you like tomatoes, I guess.”

“You seem to know your stuff for not being interested in alcohol,” Namjoon comments.

You laugh, “yeah, I suppose. At one point I wanted to know everything that there is to know so I could immediately find out what I liked once I was of age, but it really went downhill when I had my first one on my 19th birthday.”

Namjoon squinted. “19?” “Yeah, the legal age is 19 in Canada,” you explain to his ‘ooooh’ of realization, “anyway, I wanted to have a daiquiri, since I’ve had mocktails before and I liked them a lot, but as soon as I tasted it, my whole opinion of alcohol in general just went downhill.”  

“Must have been one sucky drink,” he comments, thanking the server as she returns with wings and his drink. You took one of the wings to nibble on, nodding in agreement. “Yeah, pretty much. But hey, it’s not like I’m missing out on much.” “That’s true. Mocktails can get you pretty far in life and sometimes they taste even better,” he smiles at you as he tastes his Caesar. His lips turned up into a smile, shrugging and making the ‘not bad’ expression. “Like it?” “Yeah, better than I thought it would taste.” He takes the celery stalk out of the glass and bites off a good portion of it, resting his elbow on the table and raising his eyebrows seductively at you as he chewed.

You stuck your tongue out at him playfully. “Dork. Help yourself,” you chuckle. “I’ll carry you home if need be.”

Jimin

“So, is it a medical thing, or…?” You looked up at Jimin from your soup. “Pardon?” “The reason you don’t drink. I’ve been curious about it for a while, but I never really had any time to think over the question…” Jimin chuckles to himself, cheeks already tinted with embarrassment. You perked up with a smile, shrugging. “It’s not that big of a deal,” you say, to Jimin’s relief. “My liver isn’t exactly doing the best job in the world, so to maintain what function it has left I can’t have anything with alcohol contents.” Jimin had a small glass of champagne with him while you just had a simple glass of milk. While it looked out of place in the rather fancy restaurant that was the setting of your date, neither of you minded. “I just figured that I should ask before I do the whole ‘proposal in a champagne glass’ bit,” he jokes.

You had to keep yourself from laughing out loud. “If you try and pull that I’m standing up and leaving you stranded right here and now,”

Jimin raised his hands up in defeat, grinning. “Don’t worry, I won’t.”

“Good. But… you’re okay with it, right? The whole me not drinking thing?” Jimin shook his head. “You don’t have to worry one bit. As long as you’re comfy and healthy, I won’t mind having you be my designated driver.” 

Taehyung

On nights out, Taehyung always chose not to drink. Whether it be a personal or health decision, he never said, but you welcomed the fact that you weren’t the only one without alcohol at the restaurant. Both you and Taehyung sipped at orange juice in your champagne glasses, everyone else with the traditional drink in hand.

“You’re of age now, aren’t you, (Y/N)?” Jimin asked as he reached for the beef Jin was currently cooking on the grill, only to get his hand slapped away. Most everyone was doing their own thing: eating, staring off into space or trying to grab what Jin was still cooking on the small grill in the middle of the table.

“Yeah, why?” “Then why aren’t you having champagne with the rest of us?” He asked, recoiling his hand and sticking his tongue out at Jin.

You looked down at the table, biting your lip. It was your choice, could people not respect it? “Yaah, don’t go bothering her!” Taehyung exclaimed. “You don’t bug me about my orange juice.”

“Sorry,” Jimin side eyed you, “but seriously, is there a reason you don’t drink?”

You sighed, shrugging. You brought your glass to your lips briefly, thinking about your answer. “I don’t get the appeal of alcohol,” you state honestly. “It tastes bad and makes you stupid.”

Taehyung smiled widely at you, wrapping an arm around your shoulders. “See? I think orange juice is much better than alcohol, there’s nothing to be ashamed about.”

You returned the smile sheepishly. Jimin nodded at you as well. “I mean, as long as you’re here to celebrate with us, right?” “Yeah.”

Jungkook

Sometimes Jungkook went a little overboard with the drinking. You couldn’t blame him, really, he had just come of age in a group where everyone else could drink but him. He always thanked you for having drinks like the Shirley Temples you liked instead of alcohol, but you never told him that it wasn’t entirely to be in support of his legal inability. Besides, you were also younger than him. After a long day of work, Jungkook invited you along to the restaurant he liked with the group, you agreeing quite quickly. Time spent with your boys was worth the drive out. Still, you had gotten a bit shy when you and Taehyung were the only ones out of the group not drinking. Jungkook, already having downed a beer, leant over to put his head on your shoulder, a stupid smile spread across his face. “Come on, (Y/N)~ have a drink!” “Oh, no thank you,” you timidly denied, biting at the straw to your Shirley Temple. “I’m okay.”

“Aw, why not?? We’re of age now, have fun!” Jungkook started wiggling in his seat, you rolling your eyes. “I don’t want to end up like you, that’s why,” you state bluntly. You recoiled back into yourself when Jungkook sat up straight, eyebrows raised at you. “Sorry.”

“(Y/N), it’s okay, we’re not judging you,” Jin says from across the table with a smile. “I think Kookie’s a little bit too excited.”

“(Y/N)~~~ just one sip, come on, pleaaaseee?” Jungkook flashed that bunny smile you had a hard time saying no to. Still, being unable to drink is being unable to drink.

“Kookie, I can’t. I’m sorry, I’d like to but…” “Huh? You can’t or you choose not to?” He sat up straight, eyebrows raised in confusion again. “Kookie-” “Oh my god, tell me you’re not pregnant.”

Everyone erupted into laughter, including you. “No, Kook! I’m not pregnant, don’t worry!” Through Junkook’s sigh of relief, “I was born with one kidney. I can’t drink at all.”

That line seemed to have sobered Jungkook up. “Oh, I’m sorry (Y/N),” he apologized wistfully. “I didn’t know.”

You smiled somberly at him as he began to continuously apologize. “Jungkookie, it’s okay. I’m fine with my juice. Don’t feel bad, I’m still here to celebrate, aren’t I?”

“Yeah, you’re right. Thank you, (Y/N).”

[sylver-drawer]

??? I genuinely think so. Navier is hella classist, and the story being in her perspective has caused so many fans to be just as classic that it honestly would have been racism had Rashta been black :/ Just one look at the comments about her character should tell you enough. Not one day goes by when every time a ‘bitchy’ character in any other story appears, they’re called some version of ‘Trashta’ (when in retrospect, out of everyone she had the most valid reasons to do the things she did early on although I do not condone her actions later on in the story). Not even Soveishu, who was literally the person at fault for literally everything that went wrong in his and Navier’s relationship, gets treated this way when he was the one in charge of bringing in a woman with the development of a child as his lover just because he wanted Navier’s attention.

Honestly, how readers treat women are so much worse than how they treat men, and it’s very obvious.

And Heinley isn’t a good guy either??? We have to remember he was trying to romance an already married woman, which is the exact same thing Rashta did (and even worse considering he was a person of power who knows morally right and wrong, unlike Rashta who was an ex-slave trying to escape abuse) yet is treated DRASTICALLY different from readers than his woman counterpart. According to novel spoilers as well, he’s very biased toward Navier’s image that it makes it very creepy. In example, he treats his own twin children completely different from eachother just because his daughter looks exactly like Navier.

I’m all for sweet male leads, but the way Heinley’s character is done, he’s creepy. And is even worse than the main ‘villainess’ as a man in power, educated, privileged, with nothing to lose and everything to gain. And he just gets worse.

Navier’s character in general was weird for me, and in addition the narrative the story took. She was suffering, but when I put it into perspective, she never lost anything? Granted, her relationship with her childhood friend fell apart, but they didn’t have a romantic bond anyway. The story makes it seem like Rashta’s existence in their lives ruined hers’, when she didn’t lose any power? Even if she wasn’t empress, she was literally a Duke’s daughter who had gained years of experience from being empress/being taught how to be an empress. She’s still rich, she still has a loving family, she still has countless nobles (if not, almost every noble) on her side—I just can’t feel sympathy for a character who the story frames as pitiful, but in actuality is JUST as privileged as when we were introduced to her.

Especially when the main ‘villain’ is an ex-slave who had everything to lose. If Navier loses her place, she still gets a warm bed and a luxurious dinner to eat as well as maids to attend to her. If Rashta loses her place, she dies. Either that, or returns to being a slave where she gets abused and mistreated and manipulated for things her relative/ancestor did before she was even born.

Oh yes, more things wrong with Navier and Soveishu. Why does the slavery system exist? They couldn’t have abolished it when they were literally the highest people in power? Why did they include slavery in the narrative? And why did they make the villain a slave??? It just puts such a foul taste in my mouth, and it doesn’t help that the story frames Navier’s classism in an almost positive way to the point that REAL PEOPLE in REAL LIFE put the slave character down for being ‘low born’, ‘a slave should know her place’, instead of the actual bad things she did?

The story could have been so good, it really could have. But the author, instead of having Navier go on a journey to find what was wrong in their system and being a girlboss who rights those wrongs despite her relationship falling apart (relationship in which she wasn’t attatched to anyway, seeing as she left him and her support system and home for a man she met less than six months ago), decided to write a story about a privileged woman leaving her life of comfort… for another privileged man in power and living a life of comfort. Her position never changes. Her place in her life doesn’t change, and she doesn’t learn anything. She just remains the exact same.

All of the characters in this story are terrible, and I stand by that. The ‘villains’ flaws raise pitchforks, and the ‘main characters’ flaws, even if they’re the same as the villains’, are praised. It’s hypocrisy, and blind naïveté. Ignorance in all human forms.

And yes, I did eat. You may not like my food, but you’re simply in poor taste because every little thing has been delicious pieces of fact that must be acknowledged within this misogynistic community of ours.

The irony within the manwha community is that they love to see their main characters being girlboss and absolutely trashing people who’ve wronged them, but hate it when someone points out that they should girlboss and cut ties with an important character who is either one of the male leads or the dad (and it’s always men with these traits for some reason, there has never been a second female lead with toxic characteristics at the same severity as the men have unless it’s the main villain/ness. And even then, the second female lead is usually hated in the community more than the male lead or dad that shows/showed toxic/lokey abusive/apathetic/no morality characteristics or is just a plain bad person who did bad things/screwed up for no reason).

Like,,, isn’t the whole point of a ‘strong, independent female lead’ supposed to cut off those who are red flags? I guess it only applies to characters the fan base doesn’t like, because all hell breaks lose if it’s a character the fan base does like for whatever reason :|

[3d10fire-damage]

red sun summary (09/10/2020)

this session began with zoroe, flanked by her “security detail” calypso and khaela meeting with Princess Rubatu in her chambers (with special guest Ori playing the princess). the princess looked as if she were trying to breathe easily again, like she was not yet out of the woods, while her retainer Miltu hovered nearby. zoroe bowed in a polite greeting and received a confused looked from the princess, who returned her greeting without meeting her eyes. zoroe asked the princess how she had been, even though it hadn’t been that long since they last met. Rubatu looked to Miltu, and the pair scooted closer together, joining hands. only then did the princess meet zoroe’s eyes. Rubatu was obviously terrified and trying to hiding, not really doing a good job of it. zoroe shot a concerned look to her “bodyguards” and asked if Rubatu was well. the princess nodded and asked what zoroe wanted of her.

zoroe simply said she was checking on Rubatu, who asked if this was a joke. Miltu also questioned why zoroe bothered. “when we came in yesterday, i realized i hadn’t been taking things... i’ve been changing my perspective. i don’t think we made the wrong decision, but the decision impacted many and i don’t have a say in the lives of others. i thought it best to come and see how things are before we leave.” Rubatu still remained confused, and said that this wasn’t the party’s fault. “i didn’t do the right thing. i deserve what i get, and i’ve accepted that. i appreciate you trying to make me feel better but i’ve come to peace with it.” now zoroe was confused. “but weren’t you kidnapped?” Rubatu said yes, but she could have said no to the King. but she didn’t and now others were dead. zoroe politely disagreed with that line of thinking, but she added that she wasn’t here to argue. she came to the palace to make sure Rubatu was well and ask some questions.

“what do you know of Dasari?” the princess explained that Dasari had been in the royal guard for a long time, that she was a good fighter and politician, that she had served Rubatu’s dad, and that she was very good at her job but she wasn’t a warm person. zoroe glanced briefly at Miltu, then back to the princess and asked what she imagined was coming for her, as a result of all this. Rubatu shrugged and guessed something like imprisonment or death. once again it was clear that she was nervous but holding up a front. then there was a knock at the door before Dasari appeared in the doorway. she hadn’t realized the princess was having company and asked if she should come back later. Rubatu, scared, said that she could do whatever and allowed her to come in.

Dasari entered, saying that that Rubatu’s private quarters were still hers, even if her power didn’t go far beyond that. then she greeted the three members of the party, jokingly asking if they were plotting a new coup already. calypso just gave her a mischievous smile. Dasari set down some clay tablets on Rubatu’s table. “seeing as your are entertaining guests, we will meet later, but have a look at these documents.” then she gave a salute and left. calypso suddenly burst out with a question of her own. “why don’t you just leave?” Rubatu explained that her family had ruled for a long time, and if she run off the family would be looked down on. calypso countered with “not to be an asshole, but you already are.” then she asked what Rubatu, herself, wanted. zoroe, mortified, put her hand over calypso’s mouth, only for the tiefling to lick her palm. free to speak again, calypso repeated her question. what did the princess want to do, not as someone’s daughter, but just as herself? khaela seemed to agree with calypso’s questioning, a sense of understanding among those who ran away from their homes. looking first to Miltu, Rubatu admitted that she wanted to run and never come back. “then do it!” “but if the people want to have me pay for what i’ve done, i will accept that.”

at this point there was a little banter between the party members, so Rubatu took a moment to look at some of the documents Dasari had given her. there were reports of depleted food stores, as well as details for her future relationship with Dasari as rule, spelling out that Rubatu would be a puppet princess that gave full blessing to Dasari. she would have full autonomy in her chambers but no authority beyond that. Rubatu explained some of this to the group, and zoroe concluded that it didn’t sound fun at all. “i suppose not.” then the princess leaned closer to Miltu. khaela, pointing out the obvious, said that those two should just be together. Miltu was mortified, turning away but still holding Rubatu’s hand. khaela went on to say they were cute and they shouldn’t go die in a hole just because people think they should. “you should redeem yourself in other ways rather than just being a puppet. you can make up for the bad you’ve done.” zoroe added that she wasn’t convinced what the princess had done was “bad” but it didn’t sound to her like what was planned for Rubatu is anything she herself would condone.

calypso asked if Rubatu would want to be in charge like before, if Dasari wasn’t here. Rubatu looked nervous. “...i’ve never wanted this.” calypso nodded and smiled knowingly. khaela said that that checked out. zoroe nodded as well, gently saying “would you like to leave?” Rubatu recalled that Dasari did appear to want Melu to prosper and be free. she might be skewed to favor the elites and nobles, but she would take care of the people. the princess looked at zoroe and admitted that she would like to leave, prompting an honest, sunshiney smile from the naga. “i see. i’ll see what i can do. for now... enjoy your company.” she glanced at Miltu, who told her that was unnecessary. the princess thanked the group before turning away. khaela looked smug, while calypso winked and gave finger guns to the princess and her retainer. Miltu threw a pillow at khaela as zoroe pushed her two idiot children out the door.

next the group went to an office near the throne room, finding Dasari sitting at a desk reading. zoroe greeted Dasari with a bow while calypso looked at a chair next to the desk, planning on putting her feet up. but zoroe stopped her with a “don’t.” “can you read my mind?” “i just had a feeling.” calypso rolled her eyes and just leaned against the wall instead. Dasari asked what the group needed, since she didn’t have all day. she mentioned she had been working roughly 17 hours, further suggested by the scrolls and tablets all over the room. zoroe asked about the role of princess in Melu. Dasari explained that Melu needed a princess as she is a blessing of the gods, according to the people. “but she can’t do the work, so i’m in charge of the work.” zoroe asked if the people would accept someone with Dasari’s standing. “if i was princess, sure, but i’m not. Rubatu and i aren’t related so i can’t claim birthright inheritance.”

again, calypso cut to the chase. “what if you just called yourself princess? oh, what if Rubatu faked her own death? that would be fun.” Dasari simply stated that would not work, but after a moment did seem to consider the idea of declaring herself princess. she said that Melu’s priest owed her, and could maybe get her to give her the blessing of princess. khaela clapped and said “yeah, let’s do that.” “why do you care?” khaela shrugged and said that politics sucked, and this would be easier (also, she’s all for lesbians getting what they want). zoroe pointed out that the princess seemed stressed from all this, to which Dasari responded that she had just been in a coup. “you were too. you and her are in similar positions.” “yeah, but i’m not a wimp.” then calypso summed up the plan for Dasari to become princess, and the group left. “go team. that went well, huh, fangs?” “yep.” zoroe just looked tired. calypso admitted she was still a little drunk from last night. the three of them stopped by to tell Rubatu what Dasari would be doing before they left the palace and met back up with the rest of the party. after some recap for phosphorra, cluk, and davke, the party set out to see Kissare again. at their arrival, Kissare perked up and grabbed zoroe, dipping her for a kiss. calypso whistled for them. after That, Kissare said to cluk that they had something to discuss. zoroe, looking dizzy and leaning on her staff, asked calypso “you’ve passed out before, is this what it’s like?” “sure.” meanwhile, Kissare was like “cluk! that girl you were with, Elahe? she’s been asking about learning info-gathering techniques from my girls. fair warning, when the training is complete, she’ll probably know all about you and your friends. and she will probably have been kissed at least once.” cluk was cool with that. Kissare said she would tell her girls to let Elahe join them for a bit to learn the ropes, and told cluk to keep being cute.

addressing the whole party now, Kissare assumed they were asking for their next moves. she suggested the best thing for them to do would be to go to the King, since they already knew the way to Misitu and a way in, hopefully. she also suggested that they don’t go directly through the streets since they’re enemies of the state. Kissare said she would be wrapping up here in Melu and heading back to Etaqu. calypso asked if Kissare would be going with them to fight the King. “no, i’m busy and i don’t wanna steal your kill.” phosphorra spoke up that, while she understood the Kissare was busy, this was the Big Thing. “everything stops if we go to the King, so if there is any possibility you could delegate, we’d appreciate it.” “sorry, cutiepie, no can do. it’s you guys and any friends you can gather, and i do suggest finding allies. i think you can do it! i believe in you!” zoroe mentioned the meeting with Dasari and Rubatu that morning, like “you’re going to this is so funny...” Kissare seemed to think that Dasari might be a better negotiator than the princess had been, and that this turn of events was unfortunate but they could make do. Kissare asked if zoroe had been worried she’d be mad, which zoroe denied. Kissare reached across her desk to put a hand on zoroe’s cheek. “honey, i could flatten this city regardless of who’s in charge.” calypso clapped for her. zoroe put her hand over Kissare’s and said she just thought she should know.

phosphorra presented the bag she had taken from Sapphira to Kissare, asking about the crimson phoenix symbol. after some quick inspection, Kissare tossed the bag to khaela and asked that she tell the party about the symbol. at first khaela was confused, but taking a closer look at the symbol, she recognized it and got very angry. she threw the bag on the ground and stomped on it, muttering under her breath. calypso eyed this display and phosphorra cowered. zoroe frowned, as if at a child throwing a tantrum. khaela said that the bag was from her birth family. calypso gave a simple “huh.” and phosphorra wondered if it was just a coincidence. zoroe suggested the group hold on to the bag so they would know who to burn later on (she said she got the idea from calypso). khaela said she just wanted the family dead. taking back the bag (and dusting it off), Kissare said she would have it inspected by her girls. phosphorra muttered that it had been a nice bag.

phosphorra approached khaela and apologize for bringing up painful memories. khaela said that she would just rather kill her birth family than have them be around. zoroe told her that they would take care of them, and asked if she’d like a hug. calypso offered for khaela to punch her, let some steam off. but khaela turned to a corner, doing some brooding. leaving her to it, phosphorra mentioned the potions she and davke had purchased. each member of the party ended up with one Potion of Poison Resistance. since phosphorra and zoroe had spent a lot of their money that day, calypso offered some of her money to them. she figured she didn’t need as much to spend on magic items and such, but the two of them declined her offer.

heading out, the party started to discuss who they might want to recruit for their fight against the King. they formed a list including Ku-aya and her ghosts, the tiefling Mistral that helped the party into the tunnels under Misitu, the druid Feher,  Allitum the wight, Hex, Big Mun, and the minotaurs from Madbari. khaela, having finished the majority of her brooding, said that she had a meeting planned at Fort Suqu, with some people from her (vampire) family. calypso seemed excited about this. “more vampires versus a dragon? FUCK YEAH.” “no, they’re just giving information. they’re not strong and gifted at battle like me.” khaela also mentioned that her sister was the leader of her coven. going to Madbari first, calypso called out to Lawitse, one of the minotaurs. she said she recognized calypso, who was like “s’pretty hard not to.” calypso asked if Lawitse wanted to fight a dragon with the party. “why?” “why not! she’s fucking shit up!” Lawitse explained that she didn’t really care about politics, and that the village really needed all hands on deck for the harvest. she said that it would take 400 gold pieces to cover her absence if she were to go with the party. calypso went to discuss this offer with the party, and it was assumed that Mistral would probably also ask for money for her help. khaela stepped up to the minotaur and tried to persuade her to lower the price, saying that the King didn’t care about the land or towns and that she was letting a dangerous cult run free to maybe cause havoc and damage, possibly with experiences on the natural life. basically, the King needed to be stopped or else places like Madbari could be in serious danger. but Lawitse didn’t seem convinced, saying she was just a girl who had settled. “i can fight okay, but this is beyond me.” the 400 gp price remained.  phosphorra said that they had given it a good try, but it wasn’t going to work. again the party weighed their options, particularly Mistral and Hex, the latter of which they weren’t sure of a possible hiring fee. phosphorra used Sending to contact Hex, who asked for 200 gold pieces and the first pick of a magic item in the King’s loot. and she would bail if she were about to die. there was some deliberation on this offer as well (zoroe wasn’t certain if they should hire Hex), but eventually the party determined they had enough gold to hire both Lawitse and Hex if they split the costs among themselves. calypso and khaela split the cost for Lawitse, while phosphorra and davke would split up Hex’s cost. phosphorra messaged Hex again, telling her they would be picking her up soon. MINOTAUR ACQUIRED.

once the party had stopped travelling for the night, calypso approached khaela and said “fangs, fight me.” zoroe and phosphorra were startled by this. zoroe, mom senses going off, said that calypso shouldn’t just declare it like that, even if the idea of sparring had come up before. calypso insisted that it was fine. “sit your ass down, square.” “listen--” but khaela agreed to spar, hand-to-hand only, no weapons. cluk, naturally, provided fight music. the fight was a bit of a blur, with calypso grinning the whole time, almost dancing around khaela. the paladin did manage to land some good punches, but ultimately the tiefling was too dodgy (and landed a Stunning Strike) and calypso took the win. but she made sure to pull the last punch so she didn’t full on knock khaela out. zoroe quickly made her way over, ready to heal, but calypso told her to wait because she wanted to suplex khaela. this attempted finishing move didn’t go well though, as khaela (even at 1 HP) managed to overpower her and reverse the move, suplexing calypso instead. cluk’s music became a bit more sensual. zoroe, fretting, resumed her healing. the party returned to the Waqrat estate, spotting a skeleton outside, though it didn’t react to their arrival. phosphorra assumed that was because Hex would know they were coming. the estate was cleaner than it had been before, much of the dust and wreckage swept up. the whole place felt more lived in now. passing through the ballroom, it was clear that the damage from cluk’s Shatter had been tidied but the railing on the balcony was still very busted. zoroe apologized to Davke, since the estate had belonged to her family. Allitum waved at the party and phosphorra said that she was glad to see her again, asking how she had been. Allitum described Hex as the “boss lady” and said she had been out foraging but had recently returned. “we’re going to kill a dragon.” “sounds fun!” but Allitum didn’t want to join in the fight against the King. the upstairs wasn’t as tidy as the downstairs, but the master bedroom appeared to be clean, sporting a new door with a lock. phosphorra knocked on the door, and Hex opened the door (though she wasn’t standing at the door when it opened) and told them to come in.

phosphorra walked right in, while the others sorta hovered near the doorway. Hex was sprawled out in her cozy nest bed (apparently not in a very ladylike position, though i’m not sure what counts as ladylike posing when you don’t have legs). “oh, it’s phosphorra, right?” at the question, calypso audibly thunked her head against the doorway. davke and phosphorra gave Hex the gold to hire her on. “well, let’s go kill a dragon.” phosphorra thanked Hex for her help, and Hex said she figured this would be interesting. phosphorra asked how Hex had been. “i’ve been prepping for the drought.” “i thought we were already in the drought?” “we are, but it’s going to get worse before it gets better.” phosphorra mentioned the ghosts the party met in Misitu, and Hex seemed perhaps interested in speaking with Ku-aya. the two continued in conversation, doing some catching up, and eventually calypso mentioned to Hex that they had fought in a riot. “...okay.” “that’s all you have to say?” “i mean... it’s cool that you didn’t die?” calypso just narrowed her eyes and shrugged, looking away. HEX ACQUIRED.

next the party went to Fort Suqu. the fort was a bit wrecked, some of the buildings burned. waiting in the husk of a building were khaela’s contacts. these two appeared to be young vampires, neither of them looking beefy like khaela, rather more like rogues. they exchanged bows with khaela and asked how they could help. khaela requested any information they had on enemies against the King. they said that the King had crushed most of the significant ones, but the clever Mistral remained in the capital. there was no real organized resistance to the King, though khaela and some of her sisters had come to the capital a few times. khaela grinned and nodded, allowing the rest of the party to ask any questions they had. zoroe was curious about how long these two had known khaela. one of them said 17 years, the other said 16 years. both of them had known her since before she arrived in this region (which was about 14 years ago) and had traveled there with her. at some point the word “teethling” came up and cluk repeated it, making calypso smile and phosphorra facepalm. khaela asked if there was any private hiring in the area, and the vampires told her there wasn’t really anything of the sort, outside the King’s own hiring. khaela also asked if they had had any personal dealings with the king. “we don’t make enough noise to get her attention.” they insisted khaela could count on them. “good. i don’t want to come rescue you.” zoroe asked about the whereabouts of the tiefling twins, and they were apparently usually in the Misitu arena when they were on jobs. zoroe also asked if these two had any info on A. “we’ve heard of A. they seem to have the King’s authority, but we can’t vouch for how close they are to her.” finally, khaela asked if they had heard from the main coven and what had been going on with them. the young vampires said they hadn’t been in touch, and they weren’t expecting messengers for months. with that, they exchanged bows, and the party was off again.

the next morning outside Misitu, the party awoke to find that it was harder to breathe than it should’ve been. the sky was clouded in ash, the sun covered in darkness, becoming an indistinct shape almost like an angry eye glaring down. bad vibes. phosphorra recalled there were a couple volcanoes in the general area(ish), the largest of which being at the island nation of Peleset in the west, though it wasn’t very close. the city of Misitu didn’t appear to be on fire, and the ash was coming from the west, so Misitu wasn’t the origin of the darkened sky. phosphorra suggested this was perhaps all from Peleset and the smoke had floated this way overnight. there was the thought that this might be following a prophecy of some sort, like the whole corrupted sun thing mentioned by Sapphira. nobody drew any certain conclusions though. calypso shrugged and said “maybe the world is just ending.” phosphorra thank calypso for that, hyperventilating. calypso patted her on the shoulder. sneaking through Misitu via the underground tunnels, the party met up with Ku-aya first to request her assistance. Ku-aya didn’t recognize the Kingdom of Thorns, and calypso pointed out that she was (not) living in it. once Ku-aya understood that the King had been the one responsible for destroying her home, she agreed to help the party drive her out. phosphorra introduced Hex to Ku-aya, and the two seemed to be interested in conversing. KU-AYA ACQUIRED. the party then went to Mistral’s place, the guard there recognizing the group and fetching Mistral for them. Mistral said that it had been a while since she last saw the party. zoroe agreed, saying it had been too long (putting on some charm). “i was wondering if you’d like to join me for an adventure.” Mistral leaned against the wall and said “i don’t know, i’m not adventurous at all...” zoroe played along, saying that Mistral had a cozy house right under the King’s nose, and she must hate her. phosphorra asked why zoroe didn’t just say what she wanted, and zoroe insisted she was being suave.

Mistral said that the threat was a thrill and that she would consider the offer. she considered it for about 13 seconds and then said that she wanted 400 gold up front and an equal share of the loot inside the King’s palace. zoroe’s sense of suave stopped as she looked to the others for money. she persuaded Mistral to lower her price to 350 gold because Mistral can’t say no to a pretty face. cluk, who had the most gold at this point, was like “so i’m the buying the girl...” calypso specified she was buying her services. Mistral told cluk she was quite lucky to be doing so, since she’s “a luxury few can afford.” despite zoroe having lowered the price, cluk gave Mistral all 400 of her gold pieces, telling her to remember who paid for her. MISTRAL ACQUIRED. the party searched for Feher, but couldn’t find her. phosphorra cast Sending to contact her, finding out that Feher wasn’t in the city and she suggested the party go without her.

following Mistral’s map, the party made their way through the winding tunnels toward the palace. there wasn’t anything to fight, just the occasional small creature scurrying in the dark, sounds echoing. gradually the water flow within the tunnels grew to almost a stream, and the party reached a dead end with a ladder going up. davke said “only one way to go, huh?” and the party climbed up. at the top of this ladder was a blank room (labelled Cistern Access) that led to a hallway with a closed and locked green door. following down the hallway, the party found themselves in a dimly lit room with a door on the left. hearing no sound on the other side of this door, the party proceeded through to another dimly lit room with a single torch. this appeared to be an armory, well-used ad stocked well enough for a guard unit or a militia. back tracking a bit, the party went to another room with stone walls and double doors on the opposite side of the room. there was no furniture aside from some empty straw mats.

calypso pointed out that this was pretty boring for a palace so far. phosphorra wondered if they had known the party would be coming. zoroe suggested going back to the locked door, but phosphorra said that she didn’t know how to open locks. calypso said it was an easy problem to fix, simply kick the lock to break it. khaela could also use Siege to bust the door open. but the party decided to go through the double doors. when they were about a third of the way through the room, there was a loud thud as a bronze portcullis fell and blocked the door the party had come through. then the doors at the other end of the room opened, light flooding in.

so next time... probably some fighting. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

[weekendwarriorblog]

WHAT TO WATCH THIS WEEKEND November 15, 2019 – Ford Vs. Ferrari, Charlie’s Angels, The Good Liar, The Report and More!

Another week where I found myself falling behind on writing just because I have so much else going on. Sorry for the tardiness of this column… again.

In case you hadn’t heard, I’ve returned to my role as house manager at David Kwong’s Off-Broadway show “The Enigmatist” so that’s taking up some of the weekend I use for writing. It’s also awards season, which means I’m being invited to a ton more events that I don’t necessarily want to turn down. Plus there’s a little something called “Disney+” which I haven’t actually had much of a chance to get into.

That be as it may, the last few weekends have been so pitiful at the box office that things can only get better, right?

My favorite movie of the weekend, as well as the year, is James Mangold’s FORD V FERRARI (20thCentury Fox), starring Christian Bale as British racecar driver Ken Miles, who is hired by Matt Damon’s racecar designer Caroll Shelby to help him create a sportscar for the Ford company to race at Le Mans in 1963 with the sole intention of defeating regular winner Ferrari. It’s an amazing film – you can read my review below – which includes a fantastic cast that includes Caitrioni Balfe from Outlander, Noah Jupe (also in Honey Boy, currently in theaters), Jon Bernthal, Tracy Letts, Josh Lucas and more. I probably don’t have to say too much more about this because you can read my review below, but since it will be in my Top 5 for the year, it’s highly recommended and a movie that you will not want to miss in theaters.

My Review of Ford v Ferrari

I wish I was as bullish on Elizabeth Banks’ remake of CHARLIE’S ANGELS (Sony), co-starring Kristen Stewart, newcomer Ella Balinska and Naomi Scott from Aladdin, as well as Patrick Stewart, Djimon Hounsou, Sam Claflin (staying in asshole mode after co-starring in The Nightingale) and more. It’s a female-friendly version of the action-comedy that McG made in 2000 with a sequel called Charlie’s Angels: Fully Loaded in 2003. The latter is one of my personal guilty pleasures, even though it’s probably not a very good movie. As far as Elizabeth Banks’ movie?

Mini-Review: I really wanted to like this movie, mainly since I’ve been a fan of Elizabeth Banks for so long.  I really want her to shine as a filmmaker, especially in this case where she’s both written and directed this attempt to relaunch the popular ‘70s television show that often focused more on its stars T ‘n’ A than their brains and abiliites.

We meet two of the new Angels, Sabina (Kristen Stewart) and Jane (Ella Balinska), as they’re dealing with a horny millionaire in Brazil, played by Chris Pang from Crazy Rich Asians. Sabina is in the midst of pulling a big-time seduction on the sleezeball before Jane comes in with other ninja women to deal with his bodyguards.  That opening scene gives you a pretty good idea of what to expect from the movie, but then the needlessly overt and deliberate “girl power” opening credits is a bit worrying of the direction where things might be going.

We then meet Naomi Scott’s Elena Houghlin, a trod-upon programmer at a big corporation getting ready to release an Amazon Echo-like device that can do anything from powering an entire building to being weaponized in dangerous ways. She tries to tell her obnoxious and sexist supervisor, played by Nat Faxon, but he refuses to tell the big boss Alexander Brock (Sam Claflin). Elena turns to the Townsend Agency and its Angels to help her blow the whistle on how dangerous the device can be in the wrong hands, so her, Sabina and Jane proceed to break into the Brock Corporation to steal one of the devices.

That’s the basic and quite derivative premise, and frankly, it’s rarely enough to keep the viewer entertained, especially once you realize that the entire movie is just a means to introduce Naomi Scott’s character as an Angel.  This Townsend Agency isn’t just one small agency with a few women and one Bosley, as it has expanded worldwide with many, many Bosleys, including one retiring one played by Patrick Stewart.  You see, like the Kingsmen, Bosley is just a rank of handler in between “Charlie,” who apparently is a woman, and her Angels. Stewart’s Bosley is being replaced by a former Angel, played by Banks, but first, they go on a mission with another Bosley, played by Djimon Hounsou, whom has a close relationship with Jane. (Don’t get too used to him as he’s barely in the movie.)

There’s a lot to take in as all this information is thrown at you, including a number of homages to earlier Charlie’s Angels incarnations, but the biggest problem with the movie is the fact that Kristen Stewart just doesn’t have a lot of on-screen charm. Watching her spending an entire movie trying to be funny and sexy and failing at both – well, that’s one-third of the movie that just doesn’t work at all. Fortunately, the other actors are generally better. I was really impressed by newcomer Ella Balinska, who handles a lot of the best action scenes, and I also enjoyed seeing Scott playing a character so different from Princess Jasmine in Aladdin. Even so, the attempts at comedy in Charlie’s Angels frequently falls flat, except a few moments later on.

This leaves Banks in a position where she’s forced to lean quite heavily on her soundtrack and locations to keep things interesting. While Bryan Tyler’s soundtrack is pretty good overall, I really had no interest in the pop songs written specifically for the movie.

The overall issue is that Charlie’s Angels just doesn’t offer much beyond the very basics. The fact it essentially uses the same general idea that didn’t work in Men in Black International as its basis just makes the movie derivative of another Sony movie that fell flat.

Sure, mileage is going to vary with those who see Charlie’s Angels based on how much they’ll put up with from the lackluster Stewart as the lead, but this just seemed like an idea that was destined to fail from the beginning, regardless of who was directing it.

Rating: 6/10

Last as far as the wide releases go is THE GOOD LIAR (Warner Bros.), directed by Bill Condon (Beauty and the Beast) and starring Dame Helen Mirren and Sir Ian McKellen, a psychological thriller about a man who isn’t what he says he is, who makes the mistake of getting on Helen Mirren’s bad side.

Mini-Review: Sometimes, it’s nice going into a movie thinking you know what to expect and then be continually surprised as it pulls the rug from under you, not once or twice, but many, many times.

At first, Bill Condon’s psychological thriller seems like a nice movie about the relationship between an older couple who meet online – Helen Mirren’s Betty, a kindly widow with an overprotective grandson, who goes on a date with Ian McKellen’s Roy Courtnay, who is a lot more than meets the eye. We quickly learn that Roy is involved in a number of grifts in trying to steal mucho bucks from some very rough Russian sorts, but we also see that Roy can be just as tough and cruel. This is all going on as Betty and Roy are getting closer, her offering Roy a place to stay in the house she shares with her grandson Steve.  We know quite quickly that not everything is what it seems as far as Roy is concerned, but it’s the way we’ll learn the truth behind him and his relationship with Betty that keeps you on the edge while watching The Good Liar.

Obviously, the big draw for Bill Condon’s psychological thriller are his two fantastic actors, and neither of them disappoint, particularly Mirren, who is absolutely on fire with her performance. Since we already know that not everything about Roy is on the level, you would think that you have this film sussed, but that just isn’t the case. Even after a major revelation about Roy’s past, the relationship between him and Betty and her grandson Steven (a decently laid-back performance by Russell Tovey) just gets more interesting.

Unfortunately, I can’t say too much more about the third act where things really turn on their ear, and there’s some extremely disturbing revelations that might make the difference for some between liking or loving the movie. Me, I thought it was quite good, definitely better than similar thrillers like the recent Greta, which starts out with a suitably twisty premise but then fell flat. I was also surprised by how violent and even bloody The Good Liar gets, really earning its R-rating and not from language.  

The Good Liar is a movie full of surprises that, like its characters, is never what it seems. It may not be as good as some of Condon’s influences – Hitchcock the most obvious one – but few will be disappointed by the two hours they spend in the company of Mirren and McKellen.

Rating: 7/10

You can read more about the above movies and how I think they will fare over at The Beat.

LIMITED RELEASES

One limited release opening today I highly recommend is Scott Z. Burns’ THE REPORT(Amazon Studios) aka “The Torture Report,” an in-depth political thriller based on Daniel T Jones’ investigations into the CIA’s use of extreme torture to get torture from detainees in the name of national security.  Jones is beautifully played by Adam Driver in another one of his performances that really has made this a great year for the young actor as Jones is assigned by his boss, Senator Diane Feinstein (an equally brilliant performance by Annette Bening) to investigate the CIA’s use of torture techniques to get information from detainees.  This is an intensely brilliant bit of filmmaking from Burns, only directing his second feature after writing some great films for Steven Soderbergh, such as Contagion and Side Effects. (I wasn’t a big a fan of The Informant! Or the recent The Landromat.) But Burns clearly did his research to tell a story that has a lot of talking and exposition but also great filming and editing to keep things moving at a fast pace, which also can be attributed to the dramatic fireworks he gets out of a cast that’s an abundance of riches, including the likes of Moira Tierney, Corey Stoll, Tim Blake Nelson and other wonderful surprises. The Report offers another of the year’s most impressive ensembles, but it’s always kept centered on Driver’s Jones and his long journey to get the report he’s writing out to the public. Burns uses some great techniques to create tension without going overboard on the thriller aspects of this story, but this is a fantastic bit of investigative exposé work for a movie that isn’t a doc. If you miss it in theaters when it’s playing in two weeks, you can catch on Amazon Prime in a couple weeks, but I do recommend giving this a look when it’s in theaters if possible since it does require the type of concentration few have while watching movies at home.

I’ll have an interview with Burns over at Next Best Picture next week.

Sadly, I wasn’t able to catch It Comes at Night director Trey Edward Shults’ WAVES (A24) before opening, but it involves the journey of a suburban African-American family led by a domineering father (Sterling K. Brown) as they “navigate love, forgiveness and coming together in the aftermath of a loss.” (Sorry, that’s the best I can do without having seen the movie.) It stars Kelvin Harrison from Luce, Lucas Hedges, Taylor Russell and more.

I also seemed to have missed Swati Mhise’s THE WARRIOR QUEEN OF JHANSI (Roadside Attractions) – this is the running theme of this week’s column, by the way – but it looks like a cool biopic about the legendary Rani (or Queen) of Jhansi, a freedom fighter in 19thcentury India, who led her people into battle against the British Empire at the age of 24. It led to the shift of power that took down the notorious British East India Company and Queen Victoria’s reign over India. It’s opening moderately wide this week, possibly in as many as 300 theaters.

I also haven’t seen Mark Landsman’s doc SCANDALOUS (Magnolia), which explores the 60 years of the National Enquirerand it’s salacious and shocking stories.

A couple Netflix movies will get limited releases before their debut on Netflix. Jeremy Clapin’s French animated film I Lost My Body, based on the novel “Happy Hand” by Guillaume Laurant. It follows a hand as it explores the romance between a pizza delivery boy and his lady love, a librarian named Gabrielle. It seems to be opening at the Cinema Village in New York, and I assume somewhere in L.A. as well.

There’s also the French film Atlantics by Mati DIop, which won the Cannes Grand Jury prize, which is quite an achievement. Somehow, I managed to miss this at the New York Film Festival and haven’t had a single chance to see it since. Odd. It’s set in a suburb of Dakar where a 17-year-old girl named Ada is in love with a construction worker named Souleimayne, although she’s been promised to another man in a fixed marriage. After he disappears at sea, Souleimane and other workers return to get revenge on the people building the tower that has cast a shadow on the city. That will open at Film at Lincoln Center

I also didn’t get a chance to see Amp Wong and Ji Zhao’s Chinese animated film White Snake (GKIDS), which will open in L.A. at the Landmark NuartFriday and then in New York City on November 29. It’s a classic fable about a young woman named Blanca who is saved by a snake catcher named Xuan, the two of them going on a journey to discover her true identity, as she’s lost her memory. According to its PR, it offers “a sumptuous tale of trickster demons, deadly mythical beasts, assassins, wuxia action, and the promise of eternal love.” So basically, everything that I look for in a movie and life.

An intriguing doc I saw at the Tribeca Film Festival was Matt Wolff’s Recorder: The Marion Stokes Project (Zeitgeist/Kino Lorber), opening at the MetrographFriday with LOTS of QnAs planned. It documents the thirty-year efforts of African-American left wing activist Marion Stokes on recording television 24 hours a day, and that includes almost every channel, becoming one of the most impressive television archivists with over 70,000 VHS tapes at the time of her death. Wolff edits the footage together to tell an amazing story.

Opening Wednesday at Film Forumis Annabelle Atanou’s debut feature MICKEY AND THE BEAR (Utopia), which takes place in the mining community of Anaconda, Montana with newcomer Camila Morrone playing a teenager who must care for her father Hank (played by James Badge Dale), who is afflicted by PTSD from serving in the Iraq war and in grief from the death of his wife.s

BAMhas the exclusive New York run on Brett Story’s documentary The Hottest August, which deals with the future of New York City following Hurricane Sandy and a particularly hot summer in 2017, and how climate change affects the city’s many denizens. It played at this years’s BAMCinemaFest and will include a repertory series called “In This Climate: Brett Story Selects” which unfortunately ends tonight.

A few other movies out this weekend in various combinations of theatrical and On Demand and digital that I just won’t have time to right about:

Feast of the Seven Fishes (Shout! Studios) The Shed (RLJE Films) Bluebird (Cleopatra Entertainment) Line of Duty (Saban Films/Lionsgate) A Reindeer’s Journey (Screen Media) To Kid or Not to Kid  (Helpman Productions)

LOCAL/REGIONL FESTIVALS

Not too many festivals of note, although Doc-NYC ends tomorrow with a few last films. If you’re in Atlanta, you can check out the Buried Alive Film Fest, a straight-up horror film festival that opened last night with the 4thAnnual Sinema Challenge for horror shorts. It will include a wide variety of features and shorts running through the weekend.

STREAMING AND CABLE

Lots of stuff hitting Netflix this week, including the animated Klaus, which had a short theatrical release last week. Also Earthquake Bird, the movie I haven’t seen and missed in the column a couple weeks back hits the streaming service after a short theatrical run. It’s a romantic drama that stars Alicia Vikander and Riley Keough, but that’s pretty much all I know.Another thing that I haven’t watched, and it’s a great shame considering what a bit Peter Morgan stan I am, but The Crown will begin its 3rdseason on Netflix with the wonderful Olivia Colman in the role of Queen Elizabeth, and man, do I need to catch up on this show.

REPERTORY

METROGRAPH (NYC):

The Metrograph begins an intriguing new series this weekend called “On the Process,” a collection of docs and narratives about famous painters and their process, including Raul Ruiz’s 2007 film Klimt, Derek Jarman’s 1986 film Caravaggio, and more to come as it runs through November 20. Metrograph is also continuing its “Noah Baumbach in Residence” series with screenings of Baumbach’s 1997 debut Mr. Jealousy on Sunday, followed by a screening of Peter Bogdonavich’s Saint Jack (1979). On Saturday, the Metrograph is also screening The Complete Works of Edward Owens, a collection of the queer Black artist’s short films from 1966 to 1967, and then on Sunday is a 30thanniversary screening of Isaac Julien’s Looking for Langstonwith Julien in person. Welcome To Metrograph: Redux continues this weekend with Peter Cohen’s 1989 doc The Architecture of Doom and Cinda Firestone’s 1974 film Attica. Late Nites at Metrograph  will show Bong Joon-Ho’s The Host (2006) a couple more times and also show Jim Jarmusch’s Dead Man (1995), starring Johnny Depp. This weekend’s Playtime: Family Matinees  is Joe Dante’s Gremlinsfrom 1984. Downtown 81 continues, probably forever?

THE NEW BEVERLY (L.A.):

Glad to see Tarantino’s rep theater get back on track, and you can catch a double feature of Medium Cool (1969) and The Don is Dead (1973) tonight. Friday’s Cronenberg matinee is Videodrome, a supremely weird movie starring Debbie Harry, while the weekend’s Kiddee Matinee is Jason and the Argonauts (1963), featuring amazing stop motion visual FX from the late Ray Harryhausen. Saturday night’s midnight movie is Kevin Tenney’s 1990 movie Peacemaker, starring the late Robert Forster, with Tenney in person. Monday’s 2pm matinee of David Lynch’s Lost Highway is already sold out. Monday night’s double feature is The Stalking Moon (1968) and 1970’s Pieces of Dreams, both starring Forster.

FILM FORUM (NYC):

Thursday will be your last chance to see the new DCP’s of Yasujiro Ozu’sTokyo Story and Toyko Twilight, but that’s mainly because the Film Forum is starting a new series calledThe Romanians: 30 Years of Cinema Revolution, a 12-day series showing some of the best from that country, some which have been seen in the States like Cristi Puiu’s The Death of Mr. Lazarescu from 2005 and Corneliu Porumboiu’s 12:08 East of Bucharest from 2006 and many others that have not. My knowledge of Romanian cinema is not good enough to recommend anything specifically but there should be some good stuff in there. Another series beginning this weekend is a longer-running series called Lee Grant: Actor. Filmmaker. Running through February and this weekend screening Sidney Poitier: One Bright Light and Norman Jewison’s 1967 film In the Heat of the Night. This weekend’s Film Forum Jr. is George Roy Hill’s 1967 movie Thoroughly Modern Millie starring Julie Andrews, Mary Tyler Moore and Carol Channing.

EGYPTIAN THEATRE (LA):

Well, at least the Egyptian finishes its run of Martin Scorsese’s The Irishman(not repertory!) to begin a series called “Nitrate Nights 2019,” which as it sounds is about showing rare nitrate 35mm prints of film like Powell and Pressburger’s Disney film Gone to Earth from 1950 on Friday, Hitchcock’s Spellbound (1945) on Saturday, and then the master’s 1940 film Rebecca with special guests Christopher Nolan and Jared Case of the George Eastman Museum, that provided the print for the series. Otto Preminger’s 1940 film Laura screens Sunday, also with guests, and then Sunday night, Alexander Payne presents Edmund Goulding’s 1948 thriller Nightmare Alley, which Guillermo del Toro is in the process of remaking. Eddie Murphy will be in person at the Aero on Tuesday to show his new movie My Name is Dolemite in a double feature with Frank Oz’s 1999 film Bowfinger, both in 35mm.

AERO  (LA):

Aero is mostly doing awards-campaigning screenings of movies like Her Smell (with Elisabeth Moss in person!) and a FREE 70mm screening of Joker with Todd Phillips, but let’s get to the repertory stuff. At midnight Friday, the AERO will screen the sci-fi “classic” Zardoz (1974) starring Sean Connery. Saturday night is a double feature of David Finch’s Wild at Heart and Blue Velvet as part of “Laura Dern: A Life on Screen” with Dern appearing in person! That series continues Sunday with a double feature of Rambling Rose (1991) and Small Talk (1985), that one with Rambling Rose director Martha Coolidge in person. On Tuesday, there’s a matinee screening of Terrence Malick’s Days of Heaven as part of “The Hidden Lives of Terrence Malick,” which makes reference to Malick’s upcoming film A Hidden Life.

MOMA  (NYC):

MOMA is beginning its annual “The Contenders” series showing a number of smaller movies you may have missed, as well as continuing Vision Statement: Early Directorial Workswith a number of first films by foreign filmmakers, on Sunday showing Mira Nair’s 1988 film Salaam Bombay! MOMA also has a number of weekly series but since I don’t think this column will be up by Weds next week, we’ll have to explore them later. One cool thing they’re starting is Open Door Fridays, and this week they will be showing the Maysles Brothers’ concert movie classic Gimme Shelter all day long, which is free with a ticket to the museum.

Modern Matinees: Iris Barry’s History of Film also continues with more silent films from the 20s with piano accompaniment every weekday afternoon at 1:30pm.

FILM AT LINCOLN CENTER (NYC):

FilmLinc’s new series this weekend is Rebel Spirit: The Films of Patricia Mazuy, whose work I’m sadly not familiar with, so you can check out what’s playing here. Next week is the big series that I’ve been waiting for!

QUAD CINEMA (NYC):

Sadly, the Quad has been slowing down on its series, but this weekend, it will be bringing out a 4k restoration of Buster Keaton’s 1926 film Battling Butler, as well as a 2k restoration of his 1924 film The Navigator. Both films are preceded by shorts.

IFC CENTER (NYC)

Weekend Classics: May All Your Christmases be Noir shows the late Harold Ramis’ 2005 The Ice Harvest, starring John Cusack ad Billy Bob Thornton, while  Waverly Midnights: Spy Games will screen the original 1962 The Manchurian Candidate, starring Frank Sinatra. Late Night Favorites: Autumn 2019will show Quentin Tarantino’s Pulp Fictionand Stanley Kubrick’s A Clockwork Orange this weekend.

MUSEUM OF THE MOVING IMAGE (NYC):

MOMI in Astoria begins a new series called Moments of Grace: The Collected Terrence MalickFriday, which runs through December 8 and is pretty self-explanatory. Friday, it’s showing Badlands (1973), Saturday is Days of Heaven (1978)and Stuart Rosenberg’s 1972 film Pocket Money (written by Malick), plus the first two will be shown on Sunday as well. (If you miss this series or don’t feel like going to Astoria, four of Malick’s first movies will be shown at Metrograph in December.) On Saturday, MOMI is also screening the 2017 animated The Big Bad Fox and Other Tales for its Family Matinee, plus it’s also showing Ildikó Enyedi’s My Twentieth Century (1989) in a new restoration.

ROXY CINEMA (NYC)

Tonight, the Roxy is showing Francis Ford Coppola’s 1986 film Peggy Sue Got Married, starring Nicolas Cage and Cathleen Turner, plus tomorrow, it will show Coppola’s The Cotton Club Encoreone more time.

ALAMO DRAFTHOUSE BROOKLYN (NYC)

Next week’s Terror Tuesday is the 1986 film The Wraith while the Weird Wednesday is Ralph Bakshi’s half-animated 1992 film Cool World.

LANDMARK THEATRES NUART  (LA):

This Friday’s midnight movie is Akira.

Next week, hopefully I’ll get back on track in terms of timing re: posting this column (fingers crossed!) The big movie is Disney’s Frozen 2, which I won’t have seen.  Great.

[mintchocolateleaves]

Cost of Freedom (21/52)

Summary: In which everyone is in Tokyo, and Heiji joins the investigation to find the very people he’s helped break out. Prison!AU.

[Beginning]     [Previous Chapter]     [Next Chapter]

Tokyo - 4.01 pm

"I still don't think that this is a good idea."

Kaito doesn't respond to the nervousness this time, grabs hold of Shinichi's words and throws them out into the wind. 

Nothing they're going to do, really, is going to be a good idea - breaking out of prison and causing panic across the police force was technically a bad idea, but they've done it. Catching the train into Tokyo wasn't the smartest idea either, but well, they've been walking around Chiyoda for over an hour now, weaving in and out of crowds.

He's not even sure what Shinichi's worried about. Either he's uneasy by the crowds that swamp them, drowning them in a sea of pedestrians, or he's unsettled by the fact that they've slowly started to wander in the direction of the police station they're planning to break into.

Kaito doesn't particularly mind it himself, slowly sidestepping closer and closer towards his target. They can't go into the station yet - need to prepare, need a little more time to come up with a plan that won't get them caught immediately - but they can case out the station.

"Listen," Shinichi mutters, "we shouldn't test our luck. We should plan and then go near the station-"

The thief turns to him, gives him a blank expression before shaking his head. It's stupid to hesitate, Kaito thinks. Why would they want to subject themselves to extra worry, negativity that might not even affect them at all.

He just needs Shinichi to think of something else. Anything that gets him to forget about their proximity to the police station will be welcome, and Kaito needs it to be big. He can't talk about their personal lives - cannot say anything that people might overhear and link back to them later... but...

"I never actually told you about Pandora, did I?"

Shinichi stops in his tracks. And just like that, Kaito's pretty sure that he's got the ex-detective's attention. It just sucks that he has to talk about Pandora, to get him to stop thinking about being captured again.

"You didn't." Shinichi says quietly, walking again, next to Kaito in the street. It's weird having conversations with one another in fake voices, Kaito thinks, but at least he's not the one who's listening to a female - he wonders whether it's easy for the detective to remain serious, or whether he has to try.

"It's a gemstone." Kaito says, after a few seconds. "It's the one I've been trying to steal for years. The one I ruined my life to find."

Beside him, Shinichi stares at the ground. Kaito doesn't know what's going on in the detective's mind, but there's surely something circling around, questions he wants to ask. Sometimes, when they talk, Kaito wonders whether Shinichi is judging him - he's not a criminal, and Kaito is... He wonders if he's judging him now.

"Why Pandora?" He asks, and Kaito isn't sure if he's asking why that gem in particular, or why he decided to choose Pandora over the rest of his life.

Sometimes, Kaito wonders it himself - he could be living a perfectly average life right now, but... He really shouldn't spend his time looking back.

"The original KID was murdered when he didn't steal it for them." Kaito says. "So, now I'm going to find it, and I'm going to destroy it."

Shinichi sighs, and for a moment, Kaito doesn't know how to react. He smiles instead, like a machine trying to act out emotions, the quirk of his lips strained.

He tilts his head when he looks at Shinichi, the subtle action screaming at him to respond.

"I'm going to take down the organisation that killed my father," Kaito continues, throwing his arms up and spinning around to face Shinichi on the pavement, walking backwards. He grins, "And you know what? It's going to make all of what's happened worth it."

The responding frown isn't very comforting, but Kaito doesn't let it bother him.

Instead, he waits for Shinichi to speak, watches at the ex-detective grapples for the right words - He doesn't seem able to find them.

"I didn't think you'd be the type of person who wants revenge." Shinichi says.

"You're trying to take down your own organisation," Kaito points out, "tell me that's not slightly out of revenge, for the fact that they got you thrown into prison. Tell me you're not going to feel any satisfaction when you get them thrown into prison."

"That's different," Shinichi sighs, and it's obvious to anyone with ears that this is not the way he'd imagined the conversation going. It's not how Kaito had imagined it either, but he's never been very good at letting things go - is probably why he's in this situation in the first place. "My indictment was a result of my investigation. And I was only looking into it because it was the right thing to do."

"I'm also doing the right thing." Kaito says.

"Are you?" Shinichi asks. This time, it is Kaito who stops walking - beneath his mask the blood drains from his cheeks, and his smile falters ever so slightly. He should have known that detectives only ever take the moral high road... But still... He takes a breath and reworks the smile back onto his face.

"Frankly, I don't know. I've only ever been taught the law - Nobody explained the difference between right and wrong. I think everyone just assumed that I got it, that rightness coincides with lawfulness, but that's... that's not true..."

Kaito turns walks ahead of Shinichi so that the ex-detective can only see his back.

"Maybe you're right..." Shinichi says from behind him. "The law hasn't exactly helped me out either... Looks like we're just on our own to figure it all out."

Kaito lets out a small laugh, "we've got a lot of time to figure it out, I suppose."

"I can't believe ya fell asleep on th' train."

Heiji lets out a sigh, rubs the sleep from his eyes as he pockets his phone. He's done the polite thing, has checked in on Hakuba's situation at the police station - You'll be able to find us in Department Two, we're sat in the main offices. 

He's also done the illegal thing, and checked in on Kudo and Kuroba, the phone call short and brief, telling them he's also in Tokyo and that he'll check in with them properly when he's got more information.

Now, cradling his cheek in his hand, he stares out of the window of his taxi, Kazuha sat beside him. He's not told her everything about the reason he's decided to come to Tokyo, hasn't even mentioned the case - but she does know that it's got to do with him being a detective.

"I was tired, ya can' blame me for tha'." Heiji whines as the taxi pulls up at the station. He yawns, stretching his legs as much as he can in his chair. He can't wait to be outside again, to actually stretch without hitting his elbows against the car’s interior.

"I guess not." Kazuha sighs, "Were ya workin' a case again?"

Heiji nods, leans forward to pass the taxi driver his fare. As they're getting out of the taxi, he says, "yeah, was looking over a few murders."

"As you do," Kazuha says, climbing out of the taxi. They grab their bags - they've not brought much from Osaka, just two backpacks, each with clothes that will last them a few days - before making their way into the station.

Neither Osakan has been to the station before, and have to ask at the front desk for directions. It takes a while, since everything is so hectic - Heiji has the faint feeling that Kuroba would love to hear that, it seems to fit what he's read about KID - but after a while, one detective says that he's on his way there and that he'll show them the way.

He introduces himself as Detective Takagi, and Heiji tries not to let it show on his face that he recognises the name from Kudo's stories. Instead, he grabs hold of Kazuha's wrist and pulls her along with him, telling her to hurry up and not be an inconvenience.

"Ahou," Kazuha mutters, but her steps quicken.

"Don't be such'a idiot, idiot." Heiji says, and lets out a small laugh as she hits his arm.

It doesn't take long until they reach division two however, and their playfulness dies out, drowned out with the serious atmosphere that swamps the division.

Kaitou KID had been their biggest arrest in years, the sheer publicity of catching KID reaching the news stations not only in Japan but across Europe as well.

The fact that Kuroba is now free... well... The moment it gets out to the media, Heiji's certain the division is going to have difficulties surviving the scrutiny.

"Thanks detective," he says to Takagi, before calling out for Hakuba, who's sat by a desk. Kazuha trails behind him, mutters under her breath that ‘I wasn't expectin' th' guy to be so... blond...’ stopping a step behind Heiji by the table.

"The psych files ya wanted," Heiji says by way of greeting, and drops the file in front of Hakuba, grinning as the other detective jumps, glancing up from the stack of paper he'd been reading over. "How's th' investigation goin'?"

Hakuba frowns, before signalling at Heiji to take a seat.

He does, and beside him Kazuha sits as well, although she pulls out her phone. Heiji finds it astonishing how easy it is for her to tune out cases, especially when they're in a police station - it truly marks her as the daughter of a police chief.

"It's difficult." Hakuba says, passing the papers he's been reading over to Heiji to read.

They're about Kudo's time in solitary confinement, and Heiji glances over them with minimal interest. He already knows the basics of what had happened - Kudo had caught a lot of murderers, and inside the prison, he'd had to protect himself. Violence was a necessary evil, and while Heiji doesn't condone it, he understands.

"It's not easy to solve, I mean." Hakuba continues. "The solitary reports aren't telling me much. I've not looked at KID's yet, but Kudo-kun's are telling me things I'd already gathered. Some violence, although it's only ever against people he'd gotten convicted..."

"Except here," Heiji says, having flicked through the pages, and stopped on the final pages. "On this page, he gets two days in solitary fer attacking Yoshida Haruki - he wasn' one o' the men convicted by Kudo before he was locked away."

"No..." Hakuba says, taking the paper that Heiji passes to him, to look over the incident report. "But he was present at one of KID's heists a year ago... was arrested shortly after KID was for grievous bodily harm... Do you think... This was the first point of contact between the two?"

Heiji nods - it's the first link they've been able to find, anyway. He remembers Kudo telling him about standing up for Kaitou KID, and wanting to talk to the criminal he'd once squared off with in the past.

"And then th's final incident." Heiji says, reading over it. "He got eight days in solitary after a violent outburst wit' a guard?"

Hakuba nods. "It's probably a lead, but I'm not sure what to make of it yet."

Neither does Heiji... The next time he talks to Kudo, he'll have to ask him about it. It's something Kudo had kept even from him. He doesn't fully understand why Kudo would fight with a guard - either something big had happened to settle him... or... maybe he'd wanted to get himself locked in solitary for an extended time.

"It's something we'll have t' look into." Heiji agrees, and tries not to shudder at the thought of it. He crosses his arms, "what other leads have we got? We might need some to do with the actual escape, not what happened weeks before it."

Hakuba's expression shutters, and crosses his arms over the table. He steeples his fingers, and Heiji hates when the Brit does that, because he's one of the few people who can steeple their fingers without looking completely stupid.

"All the guards found in the cell when searching for any clues, was a playing card on the top bunk." Hakuba sighs, "it had KID's caricature on it, along with the words, ‘better luck next time’, scrawled in pencil."

Heiji has to suppress a grin. Such a bold display left behind by Kuroba makes him believe that the thief might actually want the police to come chasing after him again. He wonders whether Kuroba enjoys having the police on his trail - whether he likes the danger that comes along with it.

Maybe he'll ask.

"Well... then..." Heiji says, "maybe this is a sign that Kuroba plans on coming back to play games with the KID task force."

Hakuba glances up, "...Kuroba?"

Heiji freezes for a millisecond, realises that he probably shouldn't be referring to Kuroba by his surname, before offering a sheepish smile. "That's what KID's called right? There's no use calling him a phantom thief if everyone knows his name."

He receives a raised eyebrow. "... I suppose that makes sense. You're probably right though, KID isn't just going to give up his heists, when I spoke to him last, he told me that he was searching for something. He'll resume heists until he finds the gemstone he's after."

"Do you think he'll come back to Tokyo then?" Heiji asks, despite knowing that they're already in the city, walking around, waiting for Heiji to send them crucial information on the locations of any safe houses that Kuroba had before his capture.

"It's certainly possible." Hakuba nods. "Aoko-kun... Ah... Inspector Nakamori's daughter, seems to think that he'll return to Tokyo."

Heiji nods. "And Kudo, do you think they'll be travelling together?"

Hakuba shrugs. "I'm not sure yet. From the way he got angry over Kudo-kun's case however, I think that KID might be loyal to Kudo-kun for at least a short time. But, I'm not sure."

"Okay..." Heiji nods his head, takes the information in. "Suppose they're in Tokyo... I imagine KID would have places they'd be able to hide. I'm pretty sure newspapers said that he had safehouses. Think he'll use any?"

"It's possible." Hakuba reaches over, picks up a bulky folder. It's labelled Kaitou 1412, and Heiji waits as the detective opens it up, flipping through pages until coming to a stop. "There were four locations found when he was caught. All found through CCTV feeds to give us more evidence for a conviction. We could suggest to the Inspector to watch over the locations, just in case they drop by."

Heiji nods, stands and reads the locations over Hakuba's shoulder. He says, "that's a good idea. We're probably closer to catching them already."

4.26 p.m

A text buzzes in Kaito's pocket - he'd taken it from Shinichi shortly after the phone call with Hattori, testing his pickpocketing skills - and he pulls it out, almost eagerly.

In the text, are four addresses. Kaito curses, but after a few moments of hesitation, passing the phone over to Shinichi to read, he brightens again.

"Don't worry," Kaito says after a moment, "there are more places we can go." Shinichi raises an eyebrow, "really?"

Kaito nods, leans forward and grins. "They only found four of my Tokyo safe houses. I've got two more - so where do you want to go, Shinjuku or Nakano?"

[faithandfairies]

The Drawback of Hope Unadressed

Well, that’s that then. 

I mean, the two parter was good storytelling on its own. It really was. Everything fit well together.

I adored  the whole belief plot and Regina’s role in it.

I loved Emma coming back of her own volition because Henry believed in her and she believed in Henry and wanted to be the person Henry wanted her to be. And actually taking action in that direction. That is what made all the difference. It’s not enough to be willing. You have to act on it consistently.

Which is why I just can’t condone Captain Swan in something I watch. Not in the way it’s presented. As a happy ending.

And I know they called it a happy beginning and not a happy ending. So it means that at some point Hook and Emma may realize that they’re not good for each other. 

But right now? What the show has done? Through its work it has perpetuated that lying to the person you love consistently, repeatedly without change even after having been given so many chances, making choices for them that are not good for them, hurting them deliberately, using things they told you in confidence against them as insults and to hurt them in new and inventive ways, that all of this is acceptable. And the perfect foundation for marriage. A union the family that supposedly loves you supports.

And it’s a mistake on such a fundamental level. Because these are fairy tales. They’re supposed to teach us, children, young, impressionable children about the world. About what good in the world looks like and how to differentiate it from the bad. And by taking them on you made that your job. Your responsibility. To carry on the work.

And let me tell you now, YOU. HAVE. FAILED. Because instead you took bad and dressed it up as good. You took a in reality often fatal ending and dressed it up as a happy ending, my bad, beginning. And you did it using fairy tales in a medium everyone has access to attached to a name everyone trusts. Fairy tales that when coming from Disney are all about real happy endings. They’re supposed to show you what a happy ending looks like. Especially for people who don’t know because they’ve never seen one in their immediate surroundings. 

And just calling it a happy beginning doesn’t take away that in regards to the show it is an ending. One that gives a completely distorted view on what a healthy romantic relationship is supposed to look like through one of its main female characters, Emma. On what a healthy parent-child relationship is supposed to look like. In a world where people are already prone to think that’s what they look like. 

And yes, this show may preach hope, but what it also needs to get across is that sometimes “Hope” isn’t enough. Jim Carrey said once “Hope is a beggar”. And he was right. Because hope can kill. It’s the thing that makes people hold on to things they should let go of. It’s what makes them settle when they deserve better, when they can do better. What makes them stay in situations that will never get better. That are harmful to them and could eventually be fatal. 

And that is exactly how it was used here. As glue to hold a relationship together that should never last. So, while I think the show is great, I think it’s time to give up hope that it will ever have the guts to send the complete message it needs to. 

That of being honest with yourself on which battles are worth fighting and worth winning. To know the definition of winning for you and when losing is actually the best way you can win. They did it in metaphors. But neglected to do it in one of the most important, most obvious ways. That of their romantic relationship(s). Because when it comes to fairy tales happily ever afters in the form of romantic relationships have been the focus for a long time. So by definition by making one that should never be a happy ending the happy focus near the end and keeping it intact they made it a fundamental part of the show’s happy ending.

And I’m not okay with that. Nothing in this actual two parter finale made me cry, but that did. Once the full meaning of this ending hit me it did. Because I may know better, but there are so many impressionable youngsters who don’t. There are even adults like me who may not know better. And will use this show, this ending, to validate a relationship that could ultimately get them killed. And I am sad for them. Because this is the message they’re getting from a show about fairy tales that are used by children everywhere to learn about what happy endings look like. Where they may either have no idea what it is supposed to look like or already have so many bad examples where the last thing they need is another.

And that’s not okay. 

What made it even worse is that the subtext is always there. Ever present. That last scene looked like the Last Supper. And we all know what came after that...

Ultimately maybe it’s time for me to let go of hope and choose honesty.