#because BOY
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I cannot deal with the grief over the Khadgar thing, so what kind of AU can I use to at least patch this up? I can't rewrite the whole thing, but what if AU Shazi and Khadgar come to MU from a collapsing timeline? I will def do modern AU and actors AU, as it's staple for fandoms, but I mean for the canonical story? Warcraft (2016) AU? I need something to work here because there is no point in just sitting and doing nothing 😭
#i am also open if someone wants to talk#because boy#i am not doing okay right now#tww spoilers#kinda#im doing really bad i had like 2 anxiety attacks today
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When the brainrot is brainrotting so hard you search up the voice actor scenes/songs to listen to:
#makoto furukawa's voice will be the reason for my premature death#like. the vibrato. the damn rich voice.#gods.#this is an advance apology for the man i will be when karasu is animated#because BOY#i love quite a bunch of voice actors but this guy... i have nothing to say#makoto furukawa#karasu tabito#girlfriend fc#simping chronicles
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Talking to a guy™️, lets dissect this:
•says he wants a wife and kids after a week of talking
•disagreed that having kids will change your life in sometimes negative ways (said simply “you can do everything you could do before kids after” which is the most man take on anything ive ever heard)
•hasnt asked me out on a date in the two weeks we have been talking, when brought up he said “what you want me to ask you out????”
•”its not non negotiable” “so can we do something different” “no”
•talks down to me as if i havent got the same amount of degrees as he does????
•”i have traditional views” bro
•mansplained that he can influence what number a dice lands on, and that he doesnt believe in luck. This led to an argument lasting four hours that he wouldnt drop
Theres probably more i cant think of but… are these red flags or am i being picky here
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[.ooc.]
Alright, my guys.
I'm goin' to beeeed.
But I have many drafts, so have no fear! You are not forgotten. I just get caught up in my pals often when I'm stressed/at work/nervous about new people/distracted/etc. Nothing against none of you, you're all wonderful too and I am looking forward to catching up asap.
Anyway, leave me some anons or asks or the like to get back to when I wake up.
And, of course, give this post a like for a simple starter. (I've already collected two of you into drafts to do tomorrow!)
#ooc#ps i like this pic#because boy#that must be what it gets like for people when he's gotten them high enough on smoke
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also size difference kink with whiskey???
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another one for you guys
#emphasis on sensetive to subtle changes in their partner#because BOY#jake gets sooo anxious is bradley is even acting the slightest bit different#and he constantly feels like oh shit i’ve done someth#when in reality rooster is just an angsty bitch sometimes#hangster
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Posting this everywhere til im not obsessed with it anymore
#not tagging because it will find its audience#also choleric sullen boy could lay seige give him a chance#anyway if i had to pick fictional characters id make this isabela and anders
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I could think of no better way to share the news than this!
So when I was 17, my cat went missing and I'd given up hope of ever seeing him again.
Until on Monday, 27th of May, 2024, my friend sent me a FB post asking 'isn't that your mother?' about the person named on the microchip.
Here he is! 16 years old, and found safe, twelve whole years after he went missing!
Yesterday (Tuesday the 28th of May, 2024) I went to the rescue that had him, and I reclaimed my boy, renaming him Artie! (He'd originally been called 'Cat' because my mother and I couldn't decide on a name)
He's home safe with me now, currently inhabiting my bathroom and purring up a storm every time someone goes in there!
I'll be doing slow introductions between him and my current cat to give them the best possible chance of living in harmony!
Here's some pictures of Artie once we let him out of the carrier:
#personal#okay to reblog#my cat#cat people#honestly i can't believe this#like it happened to me and it still feels so fanciful and unreal#like something out of a children's story book or something#he's such a good boy!#he purrs like a motorbike and loves his brushy!!!#edited to add the flag because terfs found this post#people that hate my existence don't get to celebrate my cat
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My baby daughter got her adorable puffin-print dress absolutely CAKED in mud crawling around the yard and my first thought was "oh no her beautiful dress"
And my second thought was "oh huh it really WOULD be easy to unconsciously steer her away from playing in the dirt. Unlike my son, whose outfits are usually some kind of solid dark easily washed pants plus a shirt that doesn't trail in the dirt like a dress does."
Anyway something something gender roles start getting shoved on kids from literal birth, but with a little time to think about things, YOU TOO can let your children of any gender absolutely destroy their clothes in the dirt pit they're digging in your garden
#all clothes provided through hand me downs and grandparents#we asked for non strongly gendered or branded things and that mostly worked for firstborn boy#but baby girl has gotten nothing but the cutest little dresses#that I am absolutely not going to stress if she destroys because it's not like they'll last until next summer anyway#at which point she'll be big enough for her brother's dirt-compatible pants#now if we can get her to stop EATING the dirt that would be GRAND#her pronouns are om/nom#literal definition of a baby
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I love religion because no one makes sense if you listen long enough. Like you all got an actual textbook definition of a dictator and it's a 1000 year old tradition ??? You know what ? Ok Deborah. I don't even know how one is supposed to react to this except immediate acceptance.
im fucking sobbing why did they kill him twice in a row in the community notes
#everyday I am glad I am an atheist#because boy#there is always some new random shit with the church fucks
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i did wrestling in middle school. on one hand, i was actually quite good at it, which was nice. being good at any sport was a new achievement for me. on the other hand, i was bi, and i was trying very hard not to notice that i was bi, and getting folded into knots by very kind, very muscular dorks made that task somewhat difficult.
adding fire to the problem was that my parents and my grandparents wanted to watch my matches, because they were very proud that their Gangly Nerd Son was actually Sporting, and they wanted to cheer me on. which would've been sweet and all, but if there are four people you do not want there during a key part of your Burgeoning Sexual Awakening, it is your mom and your dad and your grandma and your grandpa.
right? i mean, imagine some guy's got your head in his armpit, and you're going you know, old sweat smells bad, but fresh sweat has a sort of and then you make eye contact with your grandpa in the stands and you remember you're swearing spandex so if you pop a boner people aren't just going to be able to see the outline, they're going to be able to count the veins, and the only way you will be able to restore your family's honor after that would be by moving to siberia and renouncing joy, forever. that, or lift your entire body up by your kneck then twist 180 degrees without paralyzing yourself.
it’s a lot of pressure, is what i’m saying.
still it did motivate me to win my matches really fast. because i was so tall and skinny, i was stupidly good at the double leg takedown, and then once someone was knocked down, i'd just do the half nelson and kind of flip em over for the pin. then the ref would count to three and i’d win. EZPZ.
i had one match where that went great. won in the first ten seconds, sat back down, and prepared myself for a good hour or two of doing fuck all. didn't even feel bad the parents/grandparents were gonna be bored. the matches went up from me in 5 pound increments (i was in the 115 lbs division) and it was going great until we got to the 145 lbs division. the other school's wrestler stepped onto the mat, and she turned out to be a girl so our guy flipped, because for straight guys, wrestling a girl is not a pleasant experience.
i'm not entirely unsympathetic. my experience wrestling dudes was definitely a little traumatic. but also, i dealt. guy could've dealt too. instead, he refused to wrestle, and the coach went - fine. not even worth fighting over.
so he went to the 140 pounder, and that guy said, nosir, my mom said mormons can't wrestle girls. next guy down, 135 pounder, now he knew he could pull the same card and thus did. 130 pounder, 125, both tapped out. he got to the 120 guy, and that guy was catholic, but he said he was considering being mormon, and thus would have to pass. as a precaution.
coach blew up a little at that. he said "is there anyone - anyone - on this entire goddamn team that is willing to wrestle a girl?" and then he pointed at me and said "YOU. MAT. GO."
and i'll be real, if i'd been paying more attention, i'd have pulled the mormon card too, but i'd just been putting all that audio into a buffer file because i was reading, so i was halfway across the mat before i even processed what had been said and by then it was too late to turn back.
still i had a plan. and my plan - my beautiful, perfect plan - was to do what i'd always done. tackle, flip, pin, win. sit down. read. bore my family to death. move on.
i got the first part right. she was bigger than me, but she wasn't taller. just an incredibly stout woman. god built me like a snake with glasses, just as he built her like a combat cube. the problem was the half nelson. soon as she was down, i tried hooking my arm under hers from behind and for both genders, the defense for this move is just clamping your arms really fucking tight against your sides. if you're a guy, that's whatever, but if you're a girl - especially if you're god's chosen combat cube - that pins your opponents hand right against your boob.
so, i got the hook in, she clamped, my whole arm pressed against something soft, my coach was yelling THE HALF NELSON. BABYLON! JUST FINISH IT! FINISH THE HALF NELSON! and i was just trying to press hard enough to finish, when then my brain went
...oh.
and i flipped out. of course i flipped out. i like girls, and touching a boob is an elemental experience, and i was not ready. i was not prepared. i had not committed the sacred rites. i recoiled like i'd just brushed my arm against the surface of the sun, stood up, and backed away. nobody in the room knew why i'd given up. all they saw was me, right about to win, suddenly flailing around and scrambling. so everyone started screaming at me to just get the half nelson again, and i couldn't really yell back there's a fuckin' boob in the way and it was very distressing, and the only way i could think of to make them stop was just doing it over again the right way.
so i did.
i hunkered down and prepared myself for Wrasslin' Attempt #2: The Sequel.
i knocked her down again, EZPZ. i went for the half nelson again, but she knew what i was about to do so she super clamped, and i knew she was gonna super clamp, so i wound my arm back like a pop-eye cartoon punch before swinging my arm through the gap between her bicep and her side, but the amount of time i spent winding back super signalled what i was about to to do, which gave her time to clamp even harder, which somehow redirected the entire force of the popeye punch to the bottom of her bra.
it spat out a single boob the same way an action hero might spit out one single tooth after getting a solid crack across the jaw. as if to say:
*ptooie.* "that all you got?"
i did not actually see this. my experience was that first there was an arm, then there was a bit of boob, but i was braced, i was ready, forward at all costs, tatakae motherfuckers, and then the boob went away, and i didn't know where it went but my team, and the audience, and everyone who was in front of me, they all gasped like i just kicked them in the stomach. except for my coach. he was behind me, and thus one of the four people in the room who did not see the boob. now my mom, my dad, my grandma, and my grandpa, they all got flashed but nooooooo, coach thunderbutt was behind me, and he didn't see shit so he was still yelling NOOOOOO BABYLON WHAT ARE YOU DOING JUST FINISH THE NELSON! GO FOR THE KILL! BABYLON! BABYLON!
but i did not go for the kill. i stood up and she stuffed her boob back real fast, and we just kind of circled each other awkwardly until time ran out and i won on points. that's not technically allowed, but the ref had some mercy on me.
my coach did not.
i barely had time to sit down before he strode over to the bench to chew me out.
"babylon," he said, in that very calm way people get when they're too pissed to yell. "why didn't you pin?"
and i didn't know how to say well coach, i tried, but there was a boob, and it kept getting in the way, and my mom was watching, and so was my dad, and so was his dad, and his mom, and god (like bible god) and that's a can of worms because i'm pretty sure he was already mad at me, and i'm wearing spandex, and i think i might have to move to siberia, so instead i said
"i uh. i forgot how to do the half nelson."
which is actually impossible. forgetting how to do the half nelson is like forgetting how to swallow your spit.
and he looked at me, like i was the dumbest person in the entire world, and i looked through him like i'd just survived my 250th day in a trench at verdun, and he said: fine.
fine.
but we're all going to practice it for an hour tomorrow because you forgot.
and then he left.
and my buddies had the gall to be salty about it. i got so many comments saying "dude, why didn't you just tell him the truth?" and i said "you can if you care so damn much. you could've wrestled the girl too. maybe someone else should do the hard thing today."
but they didn't. so the next day, we did an hour of half nelson drills, and i spent a decent amount of time getting thrown around the mat, and it was pleasant in exactly the way that i hated and the year after that, to the surprise of everyone but myself, i quit wrestling and joined the trivia team.
and if you want more reasons to love my mom, my grandpa joked after the match that i might have to talk to my bishop about it, and my mom told him he would be allowed to make jokes after he stood in front of a crowd of 110 people in spandex underpants while wrestling a woman that was not his wife.
he paused for almost five seconds after that. then he said: aw. hell. sorry babylon.
and i'd have preferred my apology from god, but getting it from him was pretty good too.
#whew boy this make me anxious just typing it#wrestling#middle school#the dread#i feel like i have to write some stories about my grandpa not being a dick#because he was actually an amazing grandpa#he just had a few goofs are very comedic moments#and you know if you're gonna have a goof making it comedic is a virtue in itself#he was there for me more than a lot of my classmates dads were#and i dont want that undervalued#yeah#babylon-lore
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hey. don’t cry. crush four cloves of garlic into a pot with a dollop of olive oil and stir until golden then add one can of crushed tomatoes a bit of balsamic vinegar half a tablespoon of brown sugar and stir for a few minutes adding a handful of fresh spinach until wilted and mix in half a cup of grated parmesan cheese and pasta of your choice ok?
#ITS MY FAVOURITE PASTA RECIPE#tastes so so good and delicious and hearty and warm#doesn’t require many ingredients or effort and is so yummy#I have sensory issues and digestive disorders and this recipe brings me so much joy#barely anything to remember!!! rich while still easy on the stomach!!!!#listen to my gibberish boy#you can add any amount of sugar and vinegar and cheese it works regardless#I UPPED THE GARLIC BECAUSE OF FEEDBACK BTW#AND PUT THE CHEESE AT THE END TO AVOID IT STICKING TO THE POT
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spock’s room decor is actually fucking bonkers. The weapons??? the big red velvet curtain??? like ok phantom of the opera go crazy.
for reference jim’s room has some photos and a plant so we can surmise this is uniquely a spock being a dramatic weirdo thing
#spock baby im sorry but it looks like the backdrop of one of those alpha male podcasts#nurse chapel is stronger then me because if i saw this frat boy ass decor i would have immediately gotten the ick and left#the lack of coherent design is so funny#ALSO CAN WE TALK ABOUT HOW TO CURTAIN IS COVERING THE SHELVES WHICH IS SUCH A SMALL THING BUT IT MAKES ME SO MAD WHY SPOCK WHY#i hope bones never saw this room because he would have a fucking field day#star trek#star trek tos#spirk#jim kirk#spock#tos
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Gravity Falls AU where everything is exactly the same except Bill’s parents are alive and well, and they’re just so proud of their chaotic dream demon son
#doctorsiren#gravity falls#the book of bill#billford#bill cipher#stanford pines#scalene cipher#euclid cipher#gravity falls fanart#cipher family fun au#digital art#my art#procreate#I just think it would be funny if like…he didn’t destroy his home dimension and instead just left to do crazy things because he wanted to#and his parents are like ‘omg that’s our boy! tormenting the masses! gaining followers! so proud of you honey!!’
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an ode to testosterone weight gain
#so many ppl are scared to go on T because of possible weight gain#i am here to tell you being a fat guy is really hot and fun#force masc#forcemasc#forced masculinization#boy hypno
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Crocodile finds a strange stray cat an 11-year old Nico Robin (AU where they met 13 years earlier. Robin's been on the run from the World Government for 3 years. Crocodile's 27 and has not set up base in Alabasta yet)
It seems like I have become possessed. By some sort of demon.
Bonus:
#My art#One Piece#Nico Robin#Sir Crocodile#Y'all the OP brainrot is BAD#According to an SBS Crocodile would absolutely spoil his child rotten if he had one. *We all know how Robin's childhood went*#Scary mofo who does not know how to parent a child but boy does he have the spirit + Child who has never had proper parent in her life#They'd make. An absolute disaster of a duo. This AU concept is so fucking funny to me okay#But also sad because I would fucking die for baby Robin she deserves the fucking world#This poor girl has never been spoiled in her entire life AND NOW PAPADILE IS HERE TO SPOIL HER#You know it's funny. I know 11 yo Robin should LOOK older than 8 year old Robin. But Crocodile is a fucking giant so she's still baby sized#Also I just had too much fun drawing Robin looking as pathetic as humanly possible lmao#She's a like a wet kitten in the rain 😭
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