#bc work has been draining my energy so much lately

[xoxoemynn]

Really missing the gay pirates tonight, lads (gn).

I've got nothing clever or meaningful to say.

I just really miss them and wish we knew we'd be getting them back.

[manasurge]

Just a bit of lore relevant vent art (with terrible proportions bc apparently I mess that up horribly when I'm tired ugh. Watch me regret posting this tomorrow. The head size is already driving me mad bc it's too big, and I can feel myself wanting to abort this mission already) of Mourynn just, lying down on top of one of those large elevated Pale Tree roots far above the Grove (and far away from everyone else), and during the time between the early years and before the Personal story. Caithe is gone (Destiny's Edge), Wynne is gone (bc well, y'know...), even Faolain is gone (bc of Caithe in DE), and she's just feeling miserable, lost, and alone. (Her hair is in between her sapling hair and the Zhaitan hair, so it's grown out a bit bc she's depressed, and she's meant to be in the new outfit she designed, but I'm in the process of redesigning it a bit, so I've made a few tentative changes for now. Her collar is now just an extension of her clavicle leaves which can be put up like a collar, or can be draped down over her shoulders or back)

[du-hjarta-skulblaka]

Some mild existential dread in the house today

[noxtivagus]

tonight i think i've just been jamming to music

[miumura]

IN ANOTHER LIFE, YOU’D BE THE ONE.

assigning enhypen sad tropes / endings

PAIRING enhypen x gn!reader GENRE angst, some fluff? WARNINGS some r not portrayed in a good light (bc of the trope ideas) WORD COUNT varies from 0.3-0.7K+ per

DISCLAIMER these are just random tropes that i think suits them, however, this is not a true depiction of how enhypen truly acts in real life. this is simply just fictional.

‘ 💬 ’ hanniluvi cb? HAHA sorry for disappearing on you guys, but i just finished finals & school is ending soon !!! so yk what that means 😊! slowly making my way back 2 writing 🫡 this was def made randomly and somehow i was committed to it so here you guys go!!

HEESEUNG — HE FAILED THE SECOND TIME.

i don’t really have an explanation to this, i just think he suits this kind of trope? like he truly loves you to the point where he’s willing to give another shot into the relationship. but when trying again, he realizes the problem but was too late to fix it once more.

You wouldn’t have expected either, but the buzz coming from your phone would be a text message from Heeseung. Shock and adrenaline rushed within your body as he was the first to break the “no contact” rule after your break up.

Without a second thought, you found yourself propped up against your bed frame, texting him instead of sleeping. It was going well, until the text messages started becoming more flirtatious.

Even so, it felt different. It felt like you two were finally ready to try again. When he arrived at your doorstep with flowers and a sign asking, "CAN I BE YOUR BOYFRIEND?", you found no reason to decline.

Texts? He sent you thoughtful good morning and good night messages regularly.

Dates? He always paid attention to your preferences, leading to more spontaneous dates than anticipated.

Gifts? He surprised you with "just because" gifts, often accompanied by adorable notes.

Perhaps it seemed too perfect, but you were too in love to see any warning signs. His initial initiative in reaching out first felt like destiny. However, those blissful three to four months soon dissolved into nothing.

Texts? His responses come much later, and those sweet good morning and good night messages? Few and far between.

Dates? You're the one initiating them, and they lack the genuine spark they once had.

Gifts? It's only you who's putting in the effort, mirroring the gestures he used to make.

You've noticed he's slipping back into old patterns. Heeseung is consumed by his own schedule, neglecting those around him. Attempts to communicate often circle back to his work, leaving no room to discuss your relationship. He's too drained to prioritize you.

Perhaps you shouldn't have expected more or less, considering you already gave him another chance before.

You tried waiting, but with each passing day, you only disappointed yourself further.

So you gradually stopped texting, stopped putting in effort, stopped caring. And what came of it? Nothing.

Nothing until he randomly resurfaced with texts again.

People never change.

This time, without the previous excitement and nerves, you found yourself indifferent to even bother replying. Maybe your silence would speak volumes, considering he's accustomed to the silence he often gives you.

Maybe, you shouldn't have replied in the first place.

JAY — YOU FELL OUT OF LOVE, HE LOVED TOO HARD.

honestly, i see jay as a person who would absolutely do everything and anything for anyone. like this man would have no problem doing anything if it was meant to help anyone he loved. he just gives off the energy / whole idea of “so much love to give, gets not much in return.”

Since you started dating Jay, this guy has been nothing short of perfect to you. He constantly surprises you with flowers, insists on carrying everything for you, and showers you with compliments at every opportunity.

On the surface, it all seemed too good to be true. Despite having what many would consider the "perfect" boyfriend, you found yourself drifting away. Feelings slowly waned, and you began to distance yourself from the person who loved you the most.

Initially, you might not have noticed, but he did. As you began to give him less attention, show less reaction to his gestures, and the love in your eyes faded upon seeing him, he observed it all.

He witnessed you transform into someone unrecognizable. He recognized the signs of change, and perhaps he should have let go then. Yet, there remained a part of him that was reluctant to give up, still holding onto hope and the desire to keep trying.

Despite his earnest efforts to salvage the relationship, he couldn't escape the inevitable "Let’s break up" conversation. He hadn't realized how much his attempts to reignite your love were taking a toll on him until you made the decision to end things.

For months, he had maintained a facade of "everything will be okay," but now, faced with the reality of losing you, he began to crumble. He had invested so much time and energy into becoming a better person for someone he loved, only to realize that he was sacrificing himself in the process.

He couldn't blame you; he never would. He understood that you were falling out of love, and perhaps he should have let go sooner. But he couldn't shake the feelings he still harbored for you, even as they led to nothing but heartache.

Getting over you won't be as simple as he had hoped. He'll likely continue to blame himself, wondering what he could have done differently to be a better boyfriend for you.

But deep down, you know he did nothing wrong. He was a wonderful partner; it's just that you had fallen out of love, and sometimes, that's nobody's fault.

JAKE — RIGHT PERSON, WRONG TIME.

DUDEEEEE, you can’t tell me jake gives off the vibes of a person you’d always think about. no matter how much you try to forget him, you visually can’t get him out of your head. like you truly like this guy, but because of the time/fate, it lead you guys onto separate paths. this trope sounds cliche, but it’s the best way i can word it.

Jake embodied everything you sought in a partner. From his looks to his humor, and especially his personality, he checked all the boxes. Spending time with him felt like a whirlwind; the hours flew by when it was just the two of you.

Ever since he moved in next door, you found yourself drawn to him, intrigued by his every move. What began as subtle glances evolved into friendly greetings and eventually daily hangouts.

You never knew you could be this over the heels with someone until you met him. You found yourself looking forward to his daily texts and him sending silly videos that reminded him of you. You found yourself making silly trinkets and dropping them off in his mailbox. You found yourself with a pink envelope in your hand, walking to the park to give to him.

And as always, you saw that smile that always managed to brighten up your day. Sitting next to him on the swings, as you expected to be faced with another few hours of random talk with him, you’d be suddenly hit with the news of him having to move.

You didn't want to believe it.

You hoped he was joking, but instead, you were met with a disappointed look on his face. He seemed almost ashamed that this was happening, even though you knew it wasn't his fault.

You could imagine how badly he felt, so you kept your emotions in check and simply told him you would miss him. That night, you went home with tears staining the pink envelope you had intended to give him—a letter of your confession.

You had planned to give it to him that day, but instead, you saved it for his last day.

"Here," you said, pressing your lips into a thin line as you handed him the envelope.

"What is this?" he asked, curiosity piqued.

"A letter—but don't read it now!"

"Why not? You're tempting me," Jake replied, raising an eyebrow as he held the envelope with care.

"Well, don't listen to your temptations because—hey!" Before you could finish, he had already opened it, revealing its contents.

"This is embarrassing," you mumbled into your hands, feeling the heat rise to your face. Peeking through your fingers, you saw his eyes getting watery as he chuckled at parts of your letter.

When he finished reading, Jake looked at you and extended his arms. You immediately fell into his embrace, feeling his warmth surround you. Placing a hand on the back of your head, he whispered into your ear, "I'm sorry."

"For what?" your voice cracked, fearing that your confession would lead to nothing.

"I'm sorry this had to be this way," he said, clearing his throat and fighting back tears stirred by your emotional letter. "If it wasn't obvious enough, I like you too."

You felt a mix of relief and sadness. Despite your mutual feelings, fate was pulling you in different directions.

Before you could say another word, his family was already calling him to leave. Jake gave you one last squeeze and a look filled with fondness.

"I'll try to contact you often, okay, YN?"

"Okay," you replied.

As he waved goodbye with red eyes and that beautiful smile you loved, you saw him for the last time in person, feeling the weight of the moment settle in your heart.

SUNGHOON — JUST “FAKE DATING”.

do you see the vision that i’m visioning. like i don’t know, it just works out?? like i can see you two starting to fake date, it leads to something more (at least that’s what you think), and that all disappears, repeating once more. like it seems like he means it, but at the same time, his actions seem to prove otherwise. it’s like a constant cycle that you don’t want to or know how to get out of.

"I'm telling you, I don't think you should be doing this," your friend insisted, both online and in person. "Hanging with Sunghoon is only going to hurt you."

You never anticipated how your own choices might backfire. As a good friend, you just wanted to help Park Sunghoon make someone jealous. After all, with his pleading tone, how could you possibly say no?

If only you just believe his rule, "Don't fall in love with each other," this should be easy. You just needed to play the role—that’s all you had to do.

So, it started off slowly.

You two were together all the time, which was normal for you both. But whenever his ex came around, you could feel him inching closer, invading your personal space. It wasn’t much, but it felt rather intimate...though that was the plan.

Then it escalated. Sunghoon didn’t just act like a boyfriend in person and at school; he began behaving the same way outside of school and over text.

You spent more time together, going to places, laughing as you took pictures. He started showing up at your house unannounced, and the two of you would stay up late, binge-watching your favorite shows and having those nightly talks.

He even introduced you to his friends. Would someone go to such lengths for a fake relationship?

It just didn’t feel like pretending. You felt something there, something that couldn’t be easily explained.

You tried to brush it aside, but your feelings for him only grew. You were definitely falling for his stupid, swooning charms.

You hoped he was falling for you too.

But that sliver of hope crashed down when you saw him with the very person he had wanted to chase after.

They were smiling and holding hands. He looked so...happy.

After he gave them a final hug, he turned and met your gaze, your eyes slightly glistening.

"Thank you, YN," he said, with that stupid grin on his face—the one you had fallen for. Seeing it now only made your stomach twist painfully.

“Thank you? That’s….that’s it?”

“I’m sorry?” Sunghoon gave you a confused look. “Did you expect something more?”

“I would’ve loved an explanation.”

“What?”

You pressed your lips together, but your emotions were overflowing.

“Why would you treat me like that? I mean, why would you treat me so nicely? Why would you try so hard that it made me feel like we could’ve had something…real?”

“YN…”

"Just why, Sunghoon? If you knew this was only going to be a fake relationship, why did you create something special only for it to be discarded?"

"I'm sorry, YN. I never intended my gestures to be misleading, so I never purposefully planned that. I did enjoy our time together, but I have to end whatever we had because I now have the person I will always want."

Right.

No matter how hard you try, you can't change Sunghoon's mind.

You aren’t the person he wants.

After all, that was the whole point of his plan.

Don’t fall in love with each other.

SUNOO — YOU TWO DRIFTED APART.

i feel like with sunoo, since he has such an outgoing and bubbly demeanor, it allows him to easily connect with others. so with that idea in mind, why not because of his personality and him constantly being involved in new crowds, it causes him to have no time for you. without realizing it at first, he soon forgets about his priority: you.

You can't help but feel a whirlwind of emotions: confused, overwhelmed, sad.

Sunoo is a great guy, and you know that. But his bubbly personality seems to be interfering with your relationship.

At first, you were completely fine with it. He helped you meet new people, pushed you out of your comfort zone, and, most importantly, you saw him extremely happy. That’s all you really wanted.

But lately, you've noticed that he’s been paying less attention to you. Even when it's just the two of you, he often ends up calling someone or suddenly engaging in conversations with people around you.

You always had to make the plans, and his reactions seemed less genuine compared to when he was with others. Would it be wrong to think that you don’t matter to him anymore?

You always had to initiate conversations. Always.

Just like every other day, you were on the phone with Sunoo, the silence filling the room. No one was talking, and you could probably assume he was messaging someone else while on the phone with you.

Clearing your throat, you finally spoke. “Sunoo?” You didn’t know why you were nervous; he was your boyfriend, after all.

“Yes?”

“Um…” Your throat felt like it was closing up on you. You never wanted to seem pushy or insecure because of his behavior—you just wanted to feel special again, like you did at the beginning of the relationship. It should be easy to tell someone like him, right?

“Just tell me, YN.”

“Listen…” You hesitated before continuing. “Do you even… love me anymore?”

“Seriously? What kind of question is that? Of course I love you. Do I not show you that?”

“Well… no.” You bit your lip, hoping to get the closure you needed.

“I didn’t know you felt that way. I hope you know that you’re my—oh, YN. I’m sorry, I really have to go. I promised to hang out with Jungwon today. I’ll call you back, okay? Love you.”

You heard the other line beep, leaving you feeling empty. Removing the phone from your ear and dropping it in your lap, you looked at the calendar next to you. Today's date had a large red circle with little hearts doodled around the event “OUR ANNIVERSARY.”

He was hanging out with Jungwon instead of you. He forgot it. You stared at the hearts, feeling a knot form in your stomach. This day had meant so much to you, and now it felt like just another ordinary, lonely day.

His "I love you"s always reassured you—but now? They did nothing but make you feel worse.

He really doesn’t realize how much he’s hurting you, does he?

JUNGWON — THE CLASSIC SECOND LEAD.

okay okay, hear me out. i feel like jungwon suits the idea of a person liking someone, but too afraid to actually make a move. like he would want to keep people he like closely, but he would never do anything that seemed like it would lead to a fallout or anything more. so because of this, it leads to him watching you love someone else on the sidelines.

Jungwon has always been a nervous guy, and being in love only amplified his anxiety.

After spending so much time getting to know you, he realized he was falling—deeply. And he hated how it made him feel.

He hated how he would stutter when trying to make eye contact with you.

He hated how he took extra time to fix his hair.

He hated how he felt like a nervous wreck every time he initiated a hangout outside of school and work, praying you’d have the time.

But all those things he hated would soon fade away when he was with you. He began to appreciate himself for making the effort—it felt worth it.

Any moment with you felt special to him—enough for him to lay in bed and think about it all night.

He loved how you made him feel seen and understood, something he had not felt with anyone else.

If he were to date someone, he would want it to be you.

"Isn't he so dreamy?"

Hearing those words crushed his hopes of ever making you his.

He found himself sitting across from you, listening to you talk about this new guy, feeling a knot form in his stomach.

"Are you listening, Won?"

"Huh? Oh yeah, sorry. What happened again?" He nervously chuckled, clearly not wanting to hear what was going to come out of your mouth.

"We're going on a date tomorrow!"

His heart was about to burst.

Deep down, he wished he could tell you how he truly felt, how much he cared about you, but it seemed like there would be no point.

Every word felt like a stab, yet he forced a smile. "I am so happy for you, YN."

And there was that smile—the very smile he hoped to see whenever you talked about him. But instead, that beautiful smile was for somebody else.

As you continued excitedly talking about your upcoming date, Jungwon couldn't help but feel a pang of sadness, knowing that he would always be just a friend, never the one you longed for.

Jungwon found another thing he hates about being in love.

He hates how loving someone can ultimately hurt you too.

NIKI — “TOO HARD TO LOVE”.

i can somehow see niki being apart of a trope where there is a lack of communication. like i think it would be hard to express himself properly, leading him to become closed off. like he would do tests to see how much you actually cared for him, leading to his own unsatisfaction. and yet, he still wouldn’t communicate it properly, leading to the downfall of your relationship with him.

"It doesn't seem like you care," Niki let slip out over the phone, his words not quite what he had intended to say to you.

"What do you mean?" you responded, clearly frustrated. "How can you say I don't care?"

"You haven't reached out to me."

"And what about you?"

"What?" Niki was taken aback by your abruptness.

"You never tell me anything. How am I supposed to know that you even want to be around me when all you've done is just push me away?"

The silence hung heavy between you, the weight of unspoken emotions palpable even through the phone line. Niki's mind raced, grappling with the sudden confrontation. He hadn't anticipated this turn in their conversation, nor had he realized the extent of his own actions until now.

Niki had never experienced this level of comfort and connection with anyone before.

He hadn't anticipated falling in love again—until he met you.

You possessed all the qualities he had been searching for, and being with you felt incredibly natural. So, it came as a surprise when he found himself in a relationship with you; it all seemed almost too perfect to be true.

Without even realizing, Niki was starting to become rather distant. He never intended to, but he was afraid of becoming a burden to you. The thought of investing so much time and energy into someone who might eventually leave scared him.

"I... I didn't realize," Niki stammered, his voice betraying a mix of confusion and guilt. "I didn't mean to push you away. I just... I've been dealing with some stuff lately, and I guess I haven't been handling it well."

"Then you could've told me, but you didn't. You only talked to me because I was always the one reaching out first," you finally said, your voice heavy with hurt. "So why?"

Niki felt a lump form in his throat, the weight of your words sinking in. He struggled to find the right words, the right explanation, but nothing seemed adequate.

"I don't know," he admitted softly. "Maybe I was scared."

"Scared of what?" you pressed gently.

"Just... just forget it," Niki muttered, frustration creeping into his voice. “I’m sorry.”

"Niki, I need to know that you're willing to put in the effort, to be open with me. This relationship can't work if it's one-sided."

"I just don't want to lose you," he confessed, his voice breaking slightly.

"I don't know if I can believe that."

"What?" Niki's voice was filled with surprise and hurt.

"I can't tell if you're honest with me. You've done this more than once, Niki."

"But it's true!" His voice raised higher, clearly panicked by how the situation had escalated.

"You say that, but actions speak louder than words," you replied, trying to stay calm despite the turmoil inside. "If you really don't want to lose me, you need to show it, not just say it."

Niki should've taken that as a sign to finally show what he'd been holding back. He should've explained why he had such a hard time expressing his feelings, and proved to you that you were someone he truly wanted.

But he didn't. He found himself holding back once again, repeating the very behavior you truly hated.

"Okay," he said, his voice barely above a whisper.

"That's... that's it?" You scoffed in disbelief. "Really?"

Niki felt a surge of panic and regret. He knew he was failing you again, but the words just wouldn't come. "I don't know what else to say," he admitted, feeling helpless.

"You could start by being honest," you replied, frustration evident. "Why is it so hard for you to open up? Why do you keep pushing me away?"

Niki hesitated, the fear of vulnerability clawing at him. "It's not that simple," he said finally. "I've never been good at this. I've always been afraid of getting too close, of being hurt again. But that's no excuse. I know I need to change."

"Then show me," you insisted. "Show me that you mean it. I need to see that you care enough to try."

Your silence was heavy, filled with both skepticism and a flicker of hope. "Call me when you're finally ready for this. I think we both need a break to think things over clearly, okay?"

Niki should have seen this coming. But instead of running away from the problem like he used to, he accepted it. "Okay."

You hung up the phone, leaving Niki alone with his thoughts. Determined, he knew he had to win you back and prove he could be different, better than he had been throughout the entire relationship.

💬 : if it doesn’t seem obvious enough, i’m trying to get back into writing longer fics 🤫

ENHA PERM TAGLIST (1) — @flwoie @ixomiyu @haruavrse @shinsou-rii @bearseulgs @ilovewonyo @yenqa @dimplewonie @bubblytaetae @wtfhyuck @ineedaherosavemeenow @ml8dy @starikizs @wonioml @chirokookie @xiaoderrrr @neozon3nha @en-chantedtomeetyou @millksea @enhaz1 @eundiarys @hyeosi @ja4hyvn @judeduartewannabe @j-wyoung @thia-aep @vampcharxter @softpia @officiallyjaehyuns @itsactuallylina @hsheart @sweetjaemss @ahnneyong @hanienie @jwnghyuns @kpoplover718 @jiawji @rikizm @haknom @yeokii @wvnkoi @whoschr @teddywonss @shinunoga-iie-wa @isoobie @skzenhalove @misokei @s00buwu @ox1-lovesick @miercerise @litttlestars @enhapocketz

[mvltisstuff]

boyfriends - e.b

summary: after dealing with her boyfriend for years, she finally decides to end things with help from buck.

evan buckley x reader

based on the song boyfriends by harry styles :))

a/n: guys i’m on s5 and what the duck is happening. also pretend ravi has been there for longer bc i literally love him

the table was set with thin candles and ceramic plates under a maroon tablecloth. there were light rain noises coming from outside, calming the room with the dim lights. the aroma of homemade pasta and white wine was filling the room. dressed in her neat jean skirt and black top, y/n sat in one of the chairs at the table.

the door unlocked and swung open with an aggressive stomping coming in with a swaying man. “hey, princess! sorry i’m late i was just busy.” slurring his words together, he walks over as she stands up.

“i thought you were at work.” she states, quietly. she’s confused as he should smell like an office, but instead radiates a busy bar and whisky.

“oh, the guys wanted to go out, sorry about dinner,” he says, slumping on the couch.

“i planned this whole thing, cam. you really couldn’t blow them off for one night?”

“it was just dinner! it’s not like we didn’t have food here.”

“yeah, food for us, that i made for you!” she starts getting annoyed but it’s impossible to argue with a drunk person. “it’s fine, i’ll just take it to work.” clearly annoyed, she pulls the plates out and clears them off into tupperware.

“well don’t be pissed at me because i wanted to hang out with the boys,” he says, his words barely making sense. she doesn’t fight back, knowing he won’t even remember this in the morning.

“go to bed, cameron.” y/n says, before entering the bathroom and shutting the door behind him.

————————————————————————

dressing for work, y/n wakes up to throw on her uniform. she gathers her things to prepare for another long shift at the 118, and she notices his keys gone, along with his work belongings.

she walks out the door after grabbing the leftovers she had spent hours preparing for someone who spent hours not caring. she walks into the station to be greeted by her real family.

“hey, y/n!” eddie says, organizing one of the trucks with buck.

buck gives her a sweet smile, noticing the abnormal lack of excitement on her face. she walks over and talks to them a bit, drained of energy but still ready to force herself through the day.

as much as she didn’t want to leave her apartment, being at the station felt more of a warm welcome. stepping in through the garage doors, the cold air from her apartment and life outside had evaporated.

the team goes upstairs to the kitchen, as bobby is making coffee for everyone. y/n leaves her extra food on the counter to show people.

“what’s all this from, y/n?” bobby asks. “you didn’t have to bring this.”

“oh, it’s just my l-“ she cuts herself off. “i made this to bring to you guys. i made the pasta myself.”

“it’s delicious!” buck says, a mouthful of pasta and covering his mouth. he tries to lighten her mood after seeing directly through her lies.

he had met cameron before, never really being a fan of him. she’d brought him to one of the gatherings, and he spent the whole time ignoring her existence, and then getting mad at her for being upset. he knew she deserved better, and honestly, he thought, she deserves him. he wanted to help her, but didn’t want to cross the line and help where he wasn’t needed.

“really, buck? couldn’t even heat it up?” hen asks, slightly disappointed but expecting nothing else from him.

they all walk away back to their own chores around the station, as bobby stays in the kitchen. “hey, y/n!” buck runs up behind her.

“yeah? you ok?”

“that’s… kinda my question to you.” he stutters a bit. “it’s just- just wanna make sure everything’s okay, you don’t seem as… bright and bubbly as normal.”

buck and y/n had been friends for a long time, knowing how each other felt all the time. they were able to connect with one another so easily, and buck knew that something was wrong with her. he missed her happy mood, that seemed to have faded away more with every shift.

“oh, i’m fine, buck.” she smiles. “it’s just been a lot of work and sleeping, and repeat.”

she lies to him again about cameron, even though he knows the truth. “y/n/n, come on. don’t lie to me.”

“what?” she peeps out.

“talk to me, please.” he begs her to open up because he just wants to make her feel better. “is it cam?”

“n-no, buck. stop, it’s fine.”

that answer alone told him everything he needed to know. he doesn’t know all the details of their relationship, but it’s almost like cam pretends they aren’t even in one.

y/n doesn’t know why she defends him so much, or why she sticks up with it. she’s hoped things will change for a while, but usually nothing looks up. she loves him, she does. at least she thinks so. she provides so much for both of them, and has put in so much energy to their relationship, only for broken promises in return. she has hope that the time she’s put in was worth it, but every day when she goes home to him it becomes weaker. being a first responder, she wants to help everyone she can. she wants to be able to fix their relationship and she wants to feel valued, for once. people tell her all the time how she saved them, and she so badly wants him to realize that everyone needs to be saved. she’s given him the world, and it’s not long before she takes it all back.

“i know it’s not. i’m here for you, and if he’s not good to you i’m gonna be-“

“buck, just drop it! i’m doing the best i can!” her voice raises in defense, and he pulls her into the locker rooms. “im drained from this relationship, right now and i cannot get into this with you right now. this is my only escape, evan.” her light tears form in her eyes before her breathing becomes sharper. the other workers look at them, but with death stares from hen, chimney, and eddie they look away. they’re listening too, they never really liked him either but figured it was none of their business. it hurts to see their friend in this situation.

“i know, it’s gonna be ok.” he pulls her into a hug in hopes to calm her down. “you didn’t make that for us, didn’t you?”

“no, i made it for him. then he came home completely wasted and told me not to make a big deal out of it. i spent my one day off making this big ass dinner for him, and he couldn’t even take a minute to say thank you.”

“look at me, y/n.” buck pulls away and places his hands on your shoulders. “it is not your fault he’s not good enough for you. he is not. good. enough.”

“no,” she whispers.

“yes,” he says. “you deserve better than what he’s giving you.”

she shakes her head and his heart breaks more. there is no way that he has given her so much shit that she doesn’t believe it’s his own fault. the tears come stronger and run down her damp cheeks. “i can’t just leave him, buck. i cant hurt him like that because some part of me still loves him.”

“i know, but it is for the better.”

“i don’t think i have the power to end things. he wouldn’t listen to me and i can’t bring myself to break his heart.” she cries.

“you need to leave him before he breaks yours any more than it already is.” y/n calls back into his chest, and he sits her down on the benches. his own eyes are becoming glossy at the pain of watching his best friend have to deal with this. he’s had his own fair share of bad relationships, but they never meant anything because he is scared of this happening. it hurts his heart to know that she’s been carrying herself through this relationship as he’s just been more weight on her shoulders.

————————————————————————

the door of the apartment swings open again, as usually. surprisingly, the smell of liquor doesn’t hit y/n’s nose. cameron walks in, placing his bags on the floor by the door. “y/n?”

“y/n? where are you?” he calls out again and she makes her way out of the bedroom. “hey, you. did you make dinner?”

“no.” she says, maintaining eye contact.

“o-oh? we don’t have leftovers?”

“no, cameron. i took them to the station.” she says. “you would remember i told you that, but you were too drunk to remember.”

“what are you talking about, y/n? i went out for drinks, i don’t know why you have to be so bitchy about it.” she’s made her decision to leave, but the names still sting inside.

“well, you don’t have to deal with it anymore.”

“what the hell is that supposed to mean? youre not actually leaving me.” he let’s out a patronizing chuckle at her words, but she stands her ground.

“i am leaving you, cameron. my stuff is in my car, and we are over.” she doesn’t move from her spot on the ground, scared to move her glued feet like she’d fall over.

he laughs again with a critical grin on his face, again. “and where do you think you’ll go? i pay for this apartment, i pay the bills. you have nothing without me. y/n.”

“i work at the best fire station with the highest ranking paramedics and firefighters out there.” she retorts back. “i’ll be just fine without you, hell, i practically have been for the past two years.”

“you’re embarrassing yourself, baby girl.” y/n’s expression scrunches up from the cringe of the pet name that she’s always hated.

“don’t ever call me that again.”

“you have no where to go, you can’t stay at your stupid job forever.” he takes a step closer, and she takes another one back.

“actually, she’s going to stay with me until she can find an apartment.” buck says, coming around the corner, sensing her fear.

cam rubs his face. “y/n, please. we can do this together. you know i love you.” his immediate switches in mood is what she can’t control anymore, and she can no longer deal with it.

“some version of me out there still loves you back, and i feel insane amounts of nothing but pity for her.” y/n spits out at him.

“you’re a fucking psycho,” he says, and buck runs over to create more distance, standing between the two. y/n turns around, running her hands through her hair, trying to disappear.

“we’re leaving, y/n/n.” buck says, gripping your waist. “let’s go.”

“fuck, whatever. get the hell out.” cameron finally moves to the side and y/n and buck walk out of y/n’s old ‘home’ for the last time.

they stand outside in the parking lot, standing side by side as a speechless y/n stares in the distance. “i won’t stay for too long, i’ve found a few nice apartments to look at.”

“don’t worry about anything, y/n. you can stay there forever if it means you’re not there anymore.”

being faced with this much kindness and loving actions overwhelms her, making even more tears that she didn’t know she had pool in her eyes. “don’t cry, please. it’s ok, i’m here.” he pulls her back in and pats the back of her hair. “why don’t you drive over to my place, i’ll meet you in the parking lot.”

they go their separate ways and start driving to his nice apartment and already, it feels more like home than hers ever did.

buck pulls out his phone in the parking lot, in his car. he dials a few numbers and pulls the phone to his ear.

“hey, maddie. you busy tonight?”

————————————————————————

going up the stairs, y/n only had the energy to bring in a single bag to his apartment tonight. they walk side by side to his door together, his arm around her shoulders. buck fumbles with his keys and looks at her red, worn out eyes.

when he unlocks the door, y/n immediately notices all her family around bucks kitchen. she places her eyes on everyone, bobby and athena, hen, ravi, chimney and maddie, even christopher and eddie are there. “hey, y/l/n, welcome home.” athena is the first to say. and for the first time of the night, a fixed smile shines through her.

“hi guys, you all crowded in here?”

“thanks to this one, we wanted to be here for you, y/n.” hen says, pointing to buck.

“you did this?” she asks, sweetly, as if they all had just wrapped her hurt heart with the bandages of their love.

“i guess you could say that.” buck smiles, not wanting to take credit, but happy that he’s finally put some light in her mind.

“y/n, come over here and show us how you made that pasta.” bobby says, calling her over to start making dinner. “maddies going to start a salad.”

“ooh! i can make margaritas!” buck exclaims, excitedly.

“um, i can get behind that!” chim says.

everyone gathered around the kitchen, y/n notices her family all around, taking in the love they’ve given her. they would never have to take the time out of their day to come hang out in bucks tiny apartment if they didn’t truly care about her.

after a while, only buck and her remain in the kitchen. as everyone else squeezes into his living room, some people literally sitting on top of each other.

“hey, i don’t know how to thank you for all of this.”

“you don’t have to thank me for anything. this,” buck says, looking around the room. “is what you’ve deserved. and i will do anything to make sure you know that.”

they keep their eyes together, feeling everything from the day come down on them. both of them have their fears, but they seem to fade away and they forget about everyone else. realizing how much he really cares about her has changed everything for her. she loves buck more than she would ever have been able to love cameron. she reaches up impulsively, grabbing the sides of his face and pulling him in. she gives him a deep kiss and buck swears he’s levitating off the ground. his heart is on fire, waiting for this moment since they met. he didn’t expect anything in return, but he will say that this is a pretty nice reward.

buck leans back and shines a toothy grin at her, and she giggles. “you are very welcome.” he says, barely being able to get words out from his happiness.

they look over after hearing tiny giggles in the room. they both look over simultaneously, seeing christopher with an adorable, shining smile at them. he’s covering his mouth, but failing to conceal himself. “hi, christopher.” buck says.

“hi, buck! hi y/n!” he says, still not being able to wipe the smile away.

back in the living room, with maddies legs draped over him, chimney says to hen with a smirk, “and just like that, i am 20 dollars richer.”

“oh come on, chim, we all knew it was bound to happen.” hen laughs and they welcome y/n and buck back over.

[ayyy-pee]

𝐁𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐭𝐨 𝐘𝐨𝐮

Pairing: Satoru Gojo x Suguru Geto

Day 4: Masturbation (Mutual) - i'm late af shhhhh

Warnings: MDNI, Smut, Profanity bc who do you think I am, Cock rubbing, Whimpering Gojo and Suguru, Jerking off together, FROTTAGE YUM YUM, Cumming on each otherrrrr

Summary: He feels the surge of cursed energy before he's even had a chance to slip his robes off. The warping has long stopped surprising him. Foolish, though. If word got out that The Strongest was detected anywhere near his organization, the higher ups would have their heads. But...perhaps it's the thrill of getting caught that has them finding their way back to each other over and over throughout the years. His robe falls loosely to the floor, the cold air rolling across his back as he speaks a hushed, "You're late, Satoru."

Art credit: @lxzemathena on Twitter 

❥ Gojo NSFW Week Twitter - AO3 Collection ❥

Discord 18+ - Twitter - JJK Masterlist

Suguru’s nimble fingers tug at the hair tie holding the bun atop his head. The day has been long and draining, packed with meeting after meeting, scam after scam, and room after room of monkeys. He sighs, brows knitted in irritation before he reels his emotions in. One day his dreams will have come to fruition and the world will be left only with Jujutsu sorcerers. That’s the reason he left the school. It’s what he’s working toward. 

The day is finally coming to an end, though Suguru is not sure how much comfort he can take in that. He’s certain the night will be even more exhausting. He strolls over to his full length mirror, gently tugging at the strings that hold his clothes together. Suguru feels the immense surge of cursed energy before he's even had a chance to slip his robes off. The warping stopped surprising him long ago. Foolish, though, to use his technique so carelessly. If word got out that The Strongest was detected anywhere near his organization, the higher ups would have their heads. But...maybe that’s why they keep doing this. Maybe it's the thrill of potentially getting caught that has them finding their way back to each other throughout the years. 

Suguru’s robes fall loosely to the floor, the cold air rolling across his back as he speaks a hushed, "You're late, Satoru."

“I was busy,” is all Satoru says, making quick work of undoing the buttons of his uniform. He slips his shirt off, followed by his pants. Suguru watches in his mirror as Satoru stands in nothing but his underwear and blindfold, waiting.

“Will you have your blindfold on the entire time?”

“My eyes are tired.” It’s the only explanation he’ll give.

Suguru stares through the reflection, fingers undoing the buttons of his pants and letting them fall to the floor. He wants to pry, find out what he’s been up to today that has his eyes so worn that he refuses to take his blindfold off. But he doesn’t have that right anymore. 

Satoru holds his gaze, the same scowl he always wears on his face when they meet. “I don’t have much time, Suguru,” he mutters, turning to cross the room and take a seat on the edge of Suguru’s bed. He’s always so serious when he first arrives.

“Oh? You say that every time…” Suguru hums, running his fingers through his hair. “...and you never leave until morning.” Suguru shuffles across the room, closing the gap as Satoru scoots back along the bed. His familiar feline grin spreads slowly across his face. The look would intimidate anyone else, scare them even. But Satoru…Satoru has seen every expression Suguru is capable of making and every single one evokes a variety of emotions from him, but never fear.

“Hurry up,” Satoru shuffles back along the bed, leaning back on his elbows and Suguru chuckles.

“Eager as ever. Missed me?”

“The same way you miss the school,” Satoru deadpans.

Suguru laughs, climbing atop the bed until he’s lying between Satoru’s spread legs. He bends, kissing along Satoru’s collarbone, a soft sigh falling from the other man’s lips. Satoru tilts his head to the side, exposing more of his neck and allowing Suguru to kiss up to his jaw. Suguru runs his fingers over whatever soft skin he can get reach, fingers grazing gently over the scars riddled along Satoru’s body. His hands soon find the waistband of Satoru’s underwear and Satoru raises his hips, Suguru tugging his undergarments off and tossing them aside. 

Satoru’s hands find Suguru’s waistband next, pulling his underwear down to his knees. By the time they removed their clothes, they’re both so hard, cocks painfully erect as their hands explore each other’s bodies eagerly. Satoru lifts his hips, presses against Suguru to push their lengths into contact just as Suguru’s head dips down and their lips connect with a kiss, Suguru groaning into Satoru's mouth.

Satoru is lost immediately in the warmth of Suguru’s form against his. Lost in the slip of his cock against his ex-lover's as they grind their hips slowly against each other. It’s sticky, so incredibly wet with their precum. It already has Satoru shuddering, seeking release. Suguru breaks away, kissing a path back down Satoru's neck, nipping lightly and dragging his teeth against Satoru's skin. Satoru moans, fingers tangling in Suguru’s raven locks just as a particularly hard bite makes him hiss.

“Suguru…” It’s Satoru’s attempt to scold him, to warn him, but he fails miserably when it comes out as a pathetic whine, makes his hips come up with a harsh thrust. He never could stay mad at Suguru. He couldn’t before, and he can’t now. He knows the small forms of aggression are Suguru’s only way of being able to stake his claim, though they stopped belonging to each other long ago. 

Even so, Satoru revels in the sensation, groaning as their hips rock back and forth, grinding their cocks hard against each other. He tugs at Suguru’s strands, pulling his wandering lips back on to his own until they’re forced to break away, both breathing in ragged pants.

They watch each other carefully, Suguru’s gaze so intense Satoru could swear he sees through his blindfold and straight into his soul. He wouldn’t be surprised if he could. It’s always been this way between them. No one knows Satoru the way Suguru does. No one makes him this pathetically desperate the way Suguru does.

“Touch me,” Satoru whispers, voice rough with need.

And Suguru smirks, leaning forward to kiss Satoru once more before he answers. “With pleasure.”

He sits back, eyes staring down at their cocks, glistening and connected with the strings of their arousal as they lie against each other. A beautiful sight. A view Suguru has been craving to see since the last time he’d met with Satoru months ago. His lips purse together, a long dribble of spit falling from his mouth and landing with a loud smack against their lengths. Suguru glides a hand over Satoru’s core, feeling every muscle ripple beneath his touch.

“You have no idea how much I’ve been looking forward to this,” Suguru breathes and Satoru’s chest rises and falls with quick breaths. “It’s been too long.”

Suguru takes hold of their cocks, his large hand wrapping around them as much as he can before he begins to stroke them together. Satoru breathes shakily, hips thrusting up on instinct as his head falls back with a groan. 

Suguru’s hand is so warm and tight around him, taking extra care to not lose his grip as he gets them off together. His cock smooth like velvet and warmer than his hand. It’s almost like being inside his walls, which in this moment, Satoru misses more than anything. Suguru squeezes gently and the sensation has Satoru bucking his hips up to fuck himself frantically into Suguru’s fist. He can feel every vein, every pulse, every rush of blood through Suguru’s cock and it’s like heaven.

The air is filled with a mixture of the two men’s moans, pants and grunts and the wet squelch of Suguru’s fist pumping their lengths. Satoru’s cups a hand on the back of Suguru’s head, pulling him down to crush his lips against his own, tongue slipping into his mouth as Suguru keeps his steady pace. Their tongues explore each other's mouths, gasping and panting into the space between them. But Satoru can’t keep the kiss up for too long, his mouth hanging wide open, brows knitting together as a deep groan escapes him when Suguru presses the tips of their cocks together.

“Oh, fuck, Suguru…” he sighs.

“It’s funny, you know…” Suguru pants softly. “...watching the strongest sorcerer be reduced to a whimpering mess when – ,” Suguru pauses as he squeezes their pulsing cocks tightly together in his hand, pumping and stroking them against each other. Satoru’s head falls back, another harsh groan rushing past his lips. “Ah, fuck…watching the strongest sorcerer be reduced to a whimper mess when…anyone can simply bring you to your knees like this.”

Suguru pumps his fist faster, grinning when he feels Satoru wrap his own hand around his, stroking in tandem.

“Not anyone,” Satoru argues through gritted teeth. “Shit.” He hisses when Suguru presses his lips against Satoru’s neck, kissing and sucking, marking him. “Only you, Suguru.”

And it’s Suguru who whimpers this time, strokes quickening, jaw taut as he works to bring them both closer to their release. 

“Only me,” he breathes against Satoru’s skin.

Suguru leans back, sharp gaze locked with Satoru’s even through the cloth that blocks him from seeing those cerulean eyes. Even still, his breath hitches. It’s not as though Suguru ever forgot how absolutely breathtaking Satoru is. There are days where Suguru yearns for nothing more than to see those eyes, to stare into them as he pours his heart out the way he used to. 

But times have changed. 

And now those eyes only look at him with lust once every few months when Satoru decides to sneak in. They’re unspeaking of the true feelings they hold because what would it change? Suguru is still Suguru. Satoru is still Satoru. Their ideals, their lives will never align the same way again.

Yet, it still doesn’t stop them from finding their way back to each other every single time.

Suguru feels their cocks pulse at the same time, Satoru biting down on his lip as he tries to hold in another moan. Satoru's heart thunders in his ears, too deafening to hear the noises Suguru makes as feels himself inching towards the edge, both desperately grinding against each other. Suguru’s face finds refuge in the crook of Satoru’s neck, inhaling deeply, the scent of Satoru nearly sending him over.

“Close, I’m so close,” Satoru breathes, his voice rising in pitch with every word. “Suguru, I’m gonna cum –”

But it’s Suguru who unravels first whimpering and body shuddering suddenly as he feels his balls tighten. An intense tingle zips straight down his back and through his dick as his orgasm hits him hard, thick white ropes of cum coating their cocks and Satoru’s stomach. His mouth falls open, moaning Satoru’s name loudly as he spills his release all over Satoru’s core.

It’s the sound of his name breaking on Suguru’s tongue that has Satoru bucking his hips wildly into their fists, reveling at the new slip Suguru’s cum has added. Suguru moans quietly against Satoru’s shoulder as Satoru uses him to reach his climax, milking every last drop of cum Suguru has to offer. His cum is so hot, so fucking sticky and it pushes Satoru right over the edge, with a weak cry of Suguru’s name rushing past his lips as his release coats his abs and mixes with Suguru’s.

Their hands release the hold on their lengths, Satoru falling back and Suguru slumping against him as they struggle to catch their breaths. Neither cares about the mess of cum they’ve made between them, Satoru’s fingers now buried in Suguru’s hair, lips pressed to his as they enjoy their last few moments together.

Satoru wishes he could say all the things he should have ten years ago. Wishes he could voice how he still loves Suguru to this day and will likely love him until their last breaths. But he doesn’t. He simply soaks up the high of their orgasms. It helps everything to feel normal for a little while, helps him to be able to close his eyes and sleep because he knows that once he wakes, the high will have worn off. The weight of what he’s done will set in yet again. He’ll toss his clothes on as Suguru sleeps, glancing over his shoulder to commit his form to memory. And then he’ll warp out before the regret sets in. Because if it does, he won’t come back.

And he always wants to come back.

[cashmoneyyysstuff]

Please tell me about your ocs!! IM HUNGRY GRRR

helloow omg ! im so honored you want to know more about my ocs aaahhh!! :D my moot @kovu-bunnbunn also wanted to know more so i figured i could do it now !!

i have a bunch of ocs but I’ll just talk about my main oc ryoko right now !!

her full name is ryoko ‘007’ aizawa. I’ll explain the 007 in a minute !! she’s aizawa’s adoptive daughter.

her parents (her dad more specifically, her mom was more of a bystander) are both from very wealthy families and merged. Her parents had an arranged marriage and after some chatter to get to know each other they’re conversations take a little bit of a turn..and inbetween bonding about their favorite movies oop! A lil comment about how the world would he better off without heroes..oh you think so too ? Well look at that, we have so much in common!! long story short they both decide that the want to create something that will be able to take down all might and the entirety of hero society and it’s restrictions,,and I’m pretty sure you can guess what that something was ! nine months later ryoko is born yipeee…!

during her entire pregnancy ryokos mom went through some quirk experiments (sponsored by doctor garaki 👍) because they knew that with both their quirks alone they wouldn’t be able to create a super weapon. (ryokos dad has an overhaul type quirk, and her mom has a healing sort of quirk) so they did some experiments hoping something would change in the womb, and when she was born the kept on doing experiments until she started manifesting a quirk w no attributes from her either of her parents and manifested a fully different quirk than she was originally meant to have,

since she had those experiments done ryokos body adapted to be able to handle her quirk, but it’s not perfect unfortunately.

heres a simple little chart of how it works ! (BTW I DO NOT DRAW LIKE THIS ANYMORE THIS IS OOOOLLLLDD😭😭😭😭)

her quirk is a lot like neijires as in she uses her own energy and converts it into power ! The amount she uses shows in her hair :3 ryoko tho, unlike neijire can do multiple things from sending blasts, to powering herself up to make parts of her body stronger, to making it hard objects like stepping stones she uses to navigate and weapons like dual swords or chains to restrain ppl !! she can also drain other peoples energy (and from her surroundings, but thats only in 100% mode ! ) because of the fact that her body had been modified, ryoko can carry more energy into herself than regular people which is why she can drain energy without any major drawback to a certain extent ! However, her drawbacks are way more severe, overusing her quirks makes her sleepy and drowsy, it gives her nosebleeds and very worse case scenario if she were to have too little or too much energy she could die :0 !!

(ALSO !! I lil extra tidbit: ryoko is capable of sensing peoples energy’s if she concentrates hard enough, it works better if shes seen them before, but she can sense all the energy in humans in her surroundings or if she has a picture, tho it’s slightly weaker and is limited to one person at a time. This is a form of remote viewing that i gave her bc of my obsession w stranger things i had !!😭)

its a pretty powerful quirk that her parents and other scientists knew they could use well, but unfortunately for them ryoko ended up liking heroes (she was barely educated, so she had no idea that she felt admiration for heroes and especially all might, she was alsovaguely aware that she was taught to do the wrong things, because she’d be forced to use her quirk on robots/ small animals in some cases.)

her parents weren’t supposed to feel any affection towards her so they decide to just give her a code name 007 :D which i realized a little too late was the same as james bond..woops😭

anyways fast forward to the biggg “earthquake” incident, shes rescued by a group of heroes, eraser head included :D unfortunately shes detained in tartarus since her being in a constant state of panick set her quirk off and she couldn’t stay in a regular hospital so ryoko has canonically been to tartarus as a inmate at the age of 4 😭! Oh forgot to mention this, but ryoko got her quirk veryy early due to the experiments done before her birth and after.

since ryoko cant control her quirk an aizawa can cancel them, they’re a pretty good matchup !! Fast forward some more and shes living with him ! he adopts her and lets her go to school, where she meets izu n katsuki and they quickly become friends because. Of COURSE. My main ocxcanon ship is a CHILDHOOD FRIENDS TO LOVERS ONEEE😭😭😭😭will i ever stop. raise your hand if you’ve ever seen that one comin

lmk if you want to know more about her or other ocs ! I didn’t wanna ramble TOOO much so this is all the basic info!! plus some drawing of her

two of them r completely credited to horikoshi cus i used ochaco n hagakure as a base !! I accidentally have two in normal mode and two in 100% or overdrive mode as she calls it (tho one of them is a soul eater au :3) ! Both made by me :3

Much luvvv xxxx!!! And thank you Sooo much for your ask again💗💗💗💗

[superjumpintomyheart]

👉👈 callie × frye? any headcanons, thoughts?

I THINK THEY ARE SO NICE!!!!! I really like the idea of them together <3 probably maybe a teeny bit more than mariver,,, perhaps

For ship names we aren't working with a whole lot here... we got either crye, frallie, or something like calfrye so do what you will with that

extrovert x extrovert for the win these two lesbians are so insane

frye is so impulsive and callie is like almost always down to do whatever she wants, so their dates are often just the most spontaneous weird ideas that frye had and they decided to go out and do them

some of them are normal like "we went and got pizza late at night bc all of a sudden we just wanted pizza!" but then there are some like "frye woke up at 3am and demanded we try breaking into wahoo world bc she had a dream about a ride there... we got kicked out."

callie is so cuddly in her sleep (and kinda in general too) but whenever her and frye are napping or just asleep at night callie is curled up right next to her, always touching frye in some way otherwise she cannot sleep

frye would love dancing with callie so much, they might take one of those dance classes for couples and end up just dancing with each other in their living room when they're supposed to be cleaning the apartment all the time

frye also loves to play with callie's hair since its so long and sometimes it'll accidentally make her fall asleep bc its like a nice massage on her scalp. she kinda needs it tbh since she wears it up so often and it tugs on her scalp a lot, frye takes care of her <3

they like to do a lot of cute mutual self care things with each other like face masks and doing each others makeup and such, its just a cute way they spend time together after long days

they go on double dates with mariver! and pearlina!!!

since both callie and frye can have a lot of energy at times and they need to be stimulated to dispel the energy so they'll do stuff together, frye might say something like "i feel like just running right now! I can't sit still at all" and callie will be like "let me grab my sneakers, lets go"

on the opposite side of the spectrum, if one of them is drained the other probably is too, they have basically identical energy levels like they're synced up or something lol

they love to give each other lots of little kisses ;-; on the forehead, cheek, hands, lips, all over their face, they just always show affection like that with each other

one time callie gave frye a forehead kiss after she had just put lipstick on and she forgot about it so when she leaned back to look at frye she just started laughing

"what?? why are you laughing cal?" frye can't see it but the pink lipstick callie was wearing made a perfect imprint of her lips where they had been on frye's forehead, so she just has a splotch of pink in the middle of her forehead

she probably looked in a mirror or in the camera on her phone and once she saw too she started laughing, then she wanted to get revenge so she put on lipstick herself and purposefully kissed all over callie's face so there would be a bunch of lip marks on her

they ended up laughing and messing up their lipsticks but it was fun and they love to spend time with each other <3 so its worth it

[wqxianvents]

// CONTAINS COMMENTARY AND PICTURES OF TEARS OF THEMIS NEW EVENT: “ENDURING LIGHT.”

This is only the Prologue section I talk about in this one, aha and I ALRWDY HAVE SM TO TALK ABTR

first of all, another group event of course, you love to see it and they’re being dorks but in a cooler way already 💃 also btw happy new year!! hope it’s been treating y’all well already :]<3

okay so i’m going into this event basically being sus of everyone at this point LMAO, i don’t even trust our boys tbh - anything could happen and i’m excited! everytime there’s a big event i always am like “ugh… not another one i have to drain energy into and it isn’t even that interesting” (respectfully). like the last one on the train? i didn’t really care much about it, the only things that interested me were nxx being all up on eachother (exaggerating)

basically i prepare myself to be disappointed, which might sound messed up but tbh the events have only been hittin recently (for me) because of the fact that they’re not having nxx be at eachother’s throats lol. (not saying the past ones weren’t good though and that none of the recent ones were a miss bc again, i didnt fully enjoy the train event)

this one already had me though 😭 got me gagged, the ui is so fucking cool - the card system?? the OUTFITS make me wanna CHOMP my phone (esp luke’s… smth- smth abt it is just. hm, delectable). also baby davis always appearing is so cute his little “hello, miss… uh, i mean, little boss!” LMAO that is my son!!!

ANYGAYS we always have to start off with Marius talking about something going on ‘round town, intended to invite his lovely lady but of course the boys have to interrupt and say hey, where is our invitation??? 🤗 you love to see it

jxjddh “i didn’t ask you guys” LMFAO HE IS SO DONEEE - artem, vyn: “oh really? let me hit you with this comeback. give me my invitation.”, like why are they so angy ARENT YALL RICH? GET YOUR OWN INVITATION 😭😭 i just adore the difference here though like, luke is the one purely excited here and not just “oh, aha, trying to get alone with rosa? how about: no.” but vyn is like 😭 “okay, shit, thanks for the invitation, marius.”

ARTEM MINDING HIS OWN BUSINESS BY HIS COMPUTER AND DECIDING TO INSERT HIMSELF INTO THE CONVERSATIONNN. they’re silly billies.

of course we needed our typical marluke banner 🥺

“Without us, who would you team up with?” did he just call marius friendless or can i also mix that with delulu poly nxx and add a hint of, “bitch who else are you planning to invite? we are RIGHT here” LMFAO

“Luke, are things at work slow lately?” 😭😭😭 i have tears in my eyes u were gonna invite him anyway shut up

i want a group event where the guys don’t butt in just to see if marius invites them anyway HAAHSJS like he just has the stuff ready for the boys just in case they butt in again, but one time they don’t and he’s just confused 😭

kicking my feet, he loves them all dearly. they’re my babies, my lil ol family!!

ANYWAYS… we’re here. Li Hotel 🤨 && again, the wayyy i was entranced with everything omg obsessed obsessed. BY THE WAY i already suspect that the letter-friend is reporter pearce 🤨🤨 don’t ask me for proper reasoning besides the fact that they reveal the letter-friend is a guy LMAO

&& shares the same life goal (wanting to travel around the world) as little boss 😔💜 but who knows…

alright last two things ✨ nxx boys lowkey teasing rosa by being in character HAHAHDJ (NOT ME POSTING THE WEONG PICTURE AND MAKING MYSELF SAD)

same, rosa, same 😭 (and the invitation card?? zoo wee mama- the way that marius was the only one who kept his eyes on rosa thoughhj hejeejnffk GRRR. okay sorry. NAUR and the luke stare 😔 marluke strikes my heart once again!!! WHY IS VYN ALL THE WAY UP THERE BTW)

anyways. last but not least, this isn’t technically apart of the prologue but it’s when Davis takes you on a little tour as always to show you the event and there is one part where you can have discussions with the boys. you click on luke by default but the first conversation option you have, he talks about this:

&& this actually made me tear up pretty bad 😭 then i had a whiplash and went “OHH THE FUCKING CARD” LMFAOO,, LIKE WHY WOULD HYV DO THIS TO ME 😞 i love the parallels luke always has with his au cards though ugh, makes me depressed in the right way(??)

like his birthday card (the name is itching my brain, i can’t remember) and in his bday event there was a mirror and sword (i believe) that appeared 😔 now this… sobbing throwing up, do NOT TOUCH ME

ARE YOU TELLING ME HE ACTUALLY DIES IN THE CARD STOOFPFPFDB??? THAT HE DOESN’T SAY HE LOVES HER? WHAT IS THIS. punching the floor. DO THEY ALL DIE? I THOUGHT ARTEM AT LEAST LIVES…. AM I MIXING UP CARDS…. see what this event is doing to me already 😔

ojay. i’m done here, had to write the thoughts out brrr, imma go finish reading the event now 🌚 toodles (unless u can read the vyn spoiler below)

HUGE CARD SPOILERS BELOW: VYN [MEDIEVAL SUSPENSE]

OHHbajdhd and adding on why I’m not trusting anyone - even our boys - in this event is because this event reminds me too much of a card that Vyn has. A group of folks in this card are acting and Vyn’s character ended up being the killer. I won’t leave my thoughts on the card but this is why I’m sus of everyone 😔

[naegajeiljalnaga]

Hi, the same Pisces moon person from before here. Regarding what what said in your response, I went through practically the same thing you did almost at the same time. And I have come to realise lately escapism has really been the "big bad" of my life since forever so I might not smoke but I definitely have that same need to cope in some way. If you feel willing to talk more on Pisces moon energy please do! I would love to hear.

Heyy :) I hope you're doing well <3

I actually read an observation earlier that was saying Pisces moon people tend to be reliant on people for help and I think it comes from the espacist energy Pisces tends to have. Running away from the responsibility, the accountability, the stress, whatever it is that makes life difficult to deal with in order to keep the illusion of peace. This is how I feel as a Pisces Moon. My view is that the emotional drain that comes from life makes it so hard to live sometimes that I end up making other people or things responsible for solving my problems and keeping the peace.

I've seen this dependent energy in a lot of pisces placements. My mom was very hands on person with me. She did everything for me. Any big project she'd handle. Any activity I signed up for she was there for the adult role that would be needed. My best friend, she's a pisces sun and her mom was known as the over-bearing mom and you could see her mother's touch even in her school work. My other best friend is a pisces moon and her mom was a stay at home mom who was there for everything and even now in uni, her mom is like her best friend that she calls at least twice a day.

But you know what, I feel like dependency is a coping mechanism for the pisces. It's what we've tended towards for our formative years that when we have to be on our own and don't really have the confidence to confront our lives by ourselves, we revert to it. Having to deal with stuff when we're used to not dealing with it ourselves because we find something to use to run away from it or we put it on someone else is how we cope.

I'll close with this, because now this is getting too long: I know with me and my best friends I mentioned, we all want to break those cycles. We don't want to have to cope through other people or things bc it gets suffocating. At the end of the day, we either break the cycles and develop new ones or we get sucked up by the negativity of our lives and fall back on our good old safety net.

I hope you can relate to this because it is my point of view and I'm not really saying this is how all Pisces moons/placements are. Especially bc I'm not that well versed in astrology but I do like to note consistencies in people. Much love <33

[scary-monsters]

I genuinely don't know how much longer I can do this

I try to keep mental health shit off this blog as much as possible bc that's not what it's for, it's supposed to be a place to share the things I make and to support others that love the same characters as I do. But also I need to be human sometimes

I haven't been getting enough sleep, my body won't let me rest more than 6 hours a night because I'm constantly riddled with anxiety and the pressure to work work work, be productive, do things or else you're useless.

I don't eat nearly enough because I can't afford to buy groceries most weeks and rarely have time to cook on the days I work. Most of the time I eat one meal a day and that's only on my 30min break at work. My body doesn't even like to take anything more than that.

I haven't bought new clothes in at least 2 years, because I can't afford to and why would I when I never go anywhere except work? If I have a day off I don't have the energy to try and look nice, I throw on old jeans and a t-shirt. And it sucks because clothing has always been a passion of mine and I used to take so much pride in the way I present myself. I miss that part of me.

I'm miserable all the time, if I'm at work I'm only thinking about suicide. I cry all the time. Yes I go to therapy, yes I have a psychiatrist, yes I take medication for my disorder. But it feels like nothing helps anymore.

My therapist asked me two days ago what the barriers to my goals and happiness are and I didn't even hesitate when I answered "work". My job is draining me to a point that is scary for me, I feel trapped in it because no matter how many applications I do, I always get 'no's. The jobs I do have a good shot at pay significantly less than what I currently make, so I can't risk losing that pay. I live by myself, I pay for everything by myself. I don't have anyone else to lean on.

We recently had a loss in the family, and while I handled it pretty well it also brought up all the other loss I've experienced in my life, and there's been a lot. To a point where if my mom calls and says "I need to talk to you", I immediately assume someone else has passed. So all I can think about lately is all those people and all the missed opportunities I had with them.

I'm tired and I don't know what to do, I feel lost and I can't help looking at suicide as my only option to get out of how shitty everything feels all the time. I'm only happy when I'm making art or writing or talking to friends, but when I don't have the energy to do those things?? What then? I sit here and stare at a screen and cry and wish I could be anyone other than myself. I can't measure up, and I'm kinda tired of trying.

I had to call in today because I can't do it, I feel myself falling apart at the seams, I've been snapping at coworkers and having attitude with customers, that's not me, but I feel like I'm losing myself. But because I called in I've now lost a quarter of my paycheck for this week. Every single day I have to pick whether I'd prefer experiencing suicidal ideation for 10.5 hours at work or sitting at home and feeling lost/lonely and crying instead.

I've been pretty good at hiding it and masking this year but idk, I don't have the energy to do it anymore. I'm lost, y'all, I have no direction and I don't know when/if things are gonna get better for me

(also I don't need anyone telling me that I could use vacation money to fix some of these issues; vacations are how I escape, and I need to do that. Plus I always save up PTO/money specifically for them.)

[noxtivagus]

i didn't mean to ramble sm in tags, i meant to just say a bit but oh well i'll just continue n delete when i'm less busy 🥹

oh my god it's 9 am

[surrealsunday]

the shadow pic is definitely in my top3 and the caption YES OMG!! pls lucas’ tattoo from mood tattoo holds a special place in my heart i must admit, that one too with the context is just 🥺

bahahahah of course she keeps a list (as she should) 🤣 ooh but that’s totally cool you’re writing for another fandom, it’s kind of a break i’d say (even tho like u said it can be draining), but it’s cool if it reenergizes you for elu :)) in the end it should remain a fun and enjoyable hobby. but really no pressure, take your time! i, and other people for sure, would wait as long as it takes to read another fic of yours! 🤍

lmaoo yeah he seems like he loves the attention, he’s was destined to be the theater kid ✨ and same for me he’s really the opposite from me personality wise, such an extrovert but that’s fun to watch ahah! and honestly that’s one of the main reason we love him 😌 — even with that damn moustache…i can imagine the pics you had to say goodbye for your fic just bc if it lmao 😭

Yes, totally! Writing is so fun for me and such a nice break most of the time. There is no better feeling than being in writing mode, so changing things up with other fandoms has been fun. I really am someone who can't just write for any pairing tho. So thankfully there have been a couple that I've fixated on enough to feel like I can write their voices.

One thing I do struggle with is that I work in a creative field. And while that is amazing, it also means that I'm creatively draining myself all day long. So coming home and then engaging with another creative pursuit sometimes doesn't work. That is honestly when I really resent my job (why must I work for a living???!!!). But lately I've had enough creative energy for both thank jeebus.

Axel really is the wildest guy to stan because he's so chaotic lol. I also really understand why he and Maxence clicked the way they did/ do. That whole 'extrovert adopting the introvert' trope is so true to life. Literally me and my best friend lol.

Anyways, I woke up to so much snow that I am literally going to have to shovel out my car so I'm hating life a little today, but I hope you are having a wonderful day! ❤️❤️❤️

[itsgirlcraft]

Vent

TW body horror vent art (dismemberment, blood, twisted limbs), swearing, lots of caps

Tl;dr: online college reading makes my back ache and my anxiety is off the charts. I keep hyperfixating and tensing my body too much when not doing school, so I'm wasting my energy and getting bad sleep. I want to quit psychology but I fear that's the cowards way out. I'm running out of meds so I only have today and Saturday to get ~5 hrs of reading done.

I'm so fucking tired and half of its my fucking fault. This whole godamn week, actually since I started college, I've had shit ass sleep and no rest and I fucking HATE IT but I KEEP DOING IT AND

FUCK!!!

I'm sorry I know that like all of you mutuals have it hard too I don't wanna put my stupid self-sabotaging bullshit on your shoulders but hhhhhhhh. I'm seething and I can't fucking get any of this BS done and AAA I just want to REST but NOOO, I have to go play minecraft for 5 fucking hours and draw stupid shit for 3 hours and fucking waste my existence away! I haven't gotten a fucking shower in a godamn WEEK! But noooo, I can't just GET UP and do that! I have to fuck around doing bullshit that just hurts my fucking body because of my stupid negative urgency ass!!

((I react really stupidly impulsive to stress and do shit I shouldn't)) it's not even like I'm hurting myself on purpose, I'm just such a bitch I keep the cycle going and going and going and FUCK!! I swear I'm fucking trying I swear to god I hate this too but it NEVER FUCKUNG WORKS I just go a tiny bit feeling okay and them BAM the moment I am stressed or worried I go fuck off to neverland and horrifically fuck myself over!!!

((I've been hyperfixating in a...really bad way lately, more than usual. I'm not talking abt the quirky or cool shit, I'm talking my muscles tense up so bad they hurt and my wrists go numb and my fucking legs twist round each other so bad that I can barely fucking walk.)) Hhhhhhh. It's like cutting off my other leg after college has already broken the other one.

College has completely fucked me over and sent me on a stupid spiral for the millionth time but this time idk if I'll even get out of this in one piece bc this stupid hyperfixating has drained energy that isn't even THERE. I fucking spent just under 2 hours fuckibg reading 16,232 WORDS for psychology on Monday and my fucking shoulders BURNED from sitting tense at my computer and AAAA. Then I spiraled MORE Tuesday bc I didn't wanna do that AGAIN. Bc my stupid ass psych textbook is online only, and DOESNT HAVE A PAGE COUNT OR WORD COUNT! So Monday I didn't even KNOW what I was getting myself into and fucked up!! And then Tuesday I got a word counter that worked for the site and was able to FINALLY finish chapter 1 for psych only to spiral AGAIN! Because THEN I realized it'd take around 3 hours for each chapter and I have to read chapter 2 TOO for this week!

But I thought I had to do it ALL YESTERDAH bc the godamn discussion board bullshit is supposedly due on Thursdays! ((The syllabus is inaccurate, and I only got that Thursday bit from a different document. It's unclear if part 1 is on Thurs or not. The first half is making a FUCKING ESSAY with 3 paragraphs, thesis, citation, etc. And part 2 is responding to 2 people with 8 sentences and a citation but GUESS WHAT! Each response is 1 point! And the main essay/post is 8 points! Combined they're just TEN DAMN POINTS! THERES ONLY 8 WHY DO I NEED TO DO A FUCJING ESSAY?!???!))

I DID manage to do the stupid discussion on Thurs, bc I said fuck it and didn't read ch 2. But NOW I have 3 hrs of reading to do STILL. PLUS I seem to have THE SAME FUCKING AMIUNT FOR ENGKISH!!! I thought English was chill but NOOOO, it has these stupid pdf photocopies of a book and I have to take screenshots to annotate bc otherwise it's just a useless text that I can't do anything with! And it'll probably take like 2 hours to read JUST THE FIRST CHAPTER! THERES THREEE FUCKUNG CHSPTERS LIKE THIS! WHYY!! And I thought reading was GOOD AND EASY BUT NO! My fucking body is so squishy and fragile that it breaks instantly and I can't fucking read for more than an hour and FUCKKK I WISH I HAD A PAPER COPY OF THIS SHIT! BUT ITD COST MOREEEE!!

It's not even like this shits HARD TO UNDERSTAND. I KNOW THIS! LITERALKY I fucking recognize EVERYTHUNG in psych so far like is this NECESSARY?? I KNOW that reading is IMPORTANT and I should do it but FUCK!! IS IT WORTH DESTROYING MYSELF?????

And I wanna quit psych but that feels like the cowards way out bc I KNEW there'd be lots of work. I fucking knew what would come about but here I am!! In the fuckibg spiral! And I haven't said any of this to my mom bc she's tired enough and I just want to get this shit done. I feel like I'm eating my own body and health, sacrificing it, to try to do this shit that I know I probably need to give up on. But I don't wanna just STOP, I DO like psych and I wanna learn!! I WANT to be here!! But I can't fucking get this bullshit reading done and it's driving me insane!!!

AND!!! AND NOT TO MENTION MY FUCKIN MEDS!! My adhd meds are regulated heavily so I only get a month's worth but my pharmacy/doc are so unreliable when filling it that I have to assume I may not have any for a few fucking days. AND THATS A DEATH WISH IN COLLEGE!! One fuckjng day missed is MASSIVE. Even tho I'm all online and shit I CANT RISK IT, but I only have ONE!! ONE! And it's already fuckjnv 4 pm rn and I've still got 10 page for English ch 1 and then the 3 hrs psych reading and the idk 2 hrs English ch 2 reading and FUCK HOW DO I DO THIS??? And I really wanna have a chill time on Halloween so I wanna get next week done ASAP but this week's a bitch in itself and AAAAAAA!!

[stellamusing]

So my day has been. rough.

15 minutes late to a friend's birthday lunch due to external circumstances

realized most of the way there that my car had started making a weird noise

hour and a half of birthday lunch, which was lovely but also draining

trip back home, which took twice as long as it should have due to both traffic and having to pull over halfway to call my brother and ask if it was safe to keep driving with the weird noise my car was making

(many people have asked me to describe it. the best way I have found is "green line on the T, but quieter" which is. not a great sign.)

call car shop as soon as I get home. they're closed for the day

they have after hours drop off, so I drove my car there and filled out a form and dropped my key into a mailbox which was MUCH more distressing than I was anticipating

(nobody knows she's even THERE!!! they won't process her until monday morning!!! what if something happens to her!!!! what if my key envelope gets lost and they wind up losing her somewhere!!!!!!)

dad came to pick me up at the dealership and drove me back to my parent's house

they're having dinner with my brother and his fiance. my brother arrives with the takeout just after we get there. there's none for me bc nobody including myself was expecting me to be there.

watch star wars with my parents, which was nice and my dad and I tossed star wars trivia back and forth through the whole thing to the chagrin of my mom, but towards the end I get so restless that I'm fidgeting with my whole body

my dad lets me borrow my sister's car, since she's not home from college until next week

everything is in the wrong place, the seat is too high off the road bc she drives a hatchback (derogatory) and the headlights are manual not automatic

I get halfway down their street before realizing the tire pressure light is on

I turn back around and roust my father YET AGAIN so he can get his tire pressure gauge

tires are fixed, I go to leave my parents house AGAIN but then I realize my wallet is not in my pocket

(the last time I remember consciously noticing it, I was chipping in for lunch. I have been SO MANY PLACES since then)

talk myself into believing I left it at home and drive all the way home, anxious about my wallet and miserable about how different my sister's car is to drive

get home and it's not anywhere

panic

halfway convince myself that I'm gonna have to drive BACK to the dealership at 10pm in a car I hate to look for my wallet in or on the ground near my car

happen to look in the backpack I'd brought to my parent's house. wallet is in the front pocket

melt with relief

decide to shower to destress only to realize I haven't met my exercise goal for the week

(goal is very simple (150 mins of moderate exercise (walking on treadmill) a week) and only maintained by virtue of the year and a half long streak I've somehow maintained

drag myself to the treadmill in hopes that 30 minutes of waling will work out the anxious energy working through my body

doesn't really help

write this vent post