#bc why the fuck not u play every character in the game enough times they get boring so u play a character u never play

[rintoki]

genuinely wondering why some players play genshin if not for fun… like it’s literally a game it’s not that serious….

[reese1128]

bc i’m bored at work (i’m a game master at an escape room), here’s how I think the bad kids would do at an escape room

Adine is so into it and excited. every time she finds something she goes “fuck yeah!” and oh boy does she find stuff.

Riz is also super into it but he’s not as good. both bc he’s just too short and bc he’s cursed by the dice gods. he’s so frustrated like. i’m literally a licensed detective what the fuck. he keeps reading all the filler text around the room. he has to climb on fabian’s shoulders to get more height

Fabian doesn’t get it. he was dragged along for found family bonding time. he’s like we solve mysteries all the time with actual life and death on the line. why are we doing this for fun. he keeps asking for hints way too early and looking into the camera like the office.

Fig is weirdly into it. she doesn’t solve or find a bunch of stuff but she hypes everyone up who does. she’s so in character. if they’re in a pirate escape room u better believe she’s sayin arrrrg and making puns. if they’re secret agents, she’s calling everyone agent. she’s having such a good time wether or not they actually get out.

Gorgug is also just here for a good time. he’s finding some things but he’s never confident enough to voice his theories bc he thinks they’re dumb (they’re not he’s 100% right every time way before everyone else and it’s driving the gm insane) he’s mostly playing along with fig in character and having a chill time

kristen is honestly just fucking around creating elaborate backstories for their characters. her guesses to solving the puzzles are straight up impossible and she keeps looking for things where nobody would hide anything. until she casually finds the final key out of nowhere like a fucking maniac

[malinaa]

2024 WRITING REVIEW

tagged: no one <3 i just like doing these things yearly tagging: board of directors yet again i'd tag u here but this is mostly fic-based . . . anyway!!! @userautumn | @seek--rest | @nerdylizj | @vechter | @the-flying-robins | @posallys | @blackbatcass | & anyone else i'm missing sorryyyyyyyyy this is me tagging u... TAG UR IT!!

number of stories posted to ao3: this has been my saddest writing year btw . . . anyway i wrote 8 oneshots

word counted posted for last year: 17,547 i'm going to shoot myself (unposted / ofic / nonfic all adds up to a whopping 45k. yet again i will literally shoot myself) this is arguably my worst writing year since 2018 which . was a miserable year for me personally

fandoms i wrote for: in chronological order it's the hunger games -> pjo (tv) -> batman

pairings: everlark and posally for thg and pjo. all of my batman fic was gen

stories with the most

KUDOS: hereditary (batman) with 631 BOOKMARKS: hereditary (batman) again with 320 COMMENT THREADS: hereditary (batman) AGAIN with 25

work i’m most proud of (and why): uhhh maybe prayer in the night (batman) for no other reason besides liking it while writing it

work i’m least proud of (and why): pandora's jar (pjo) i just don't think it's my best unforch

share or describe a favorite review you received: lichrally any comment from sway <3 kissing u on the mouth. but also this one bc it made me giggle like thank u

This is pure fire. Is absurd how you were able to perfectly capture the essence of Leigh's writing and use it for smut 👀 Like, most of these fic are very enjoyable in a fan service sense but lack of cohesiveness and good writing. You instead wrote the most hot and fantastic thing one-shot I ever read. I wish I was able to do the same. 💕💕💕☝️

a time when writing was really, really hard: this entire fucking year. i never want to feel this AGAIN. NEVER. i'm so fucking serious what the literal fuck was that

a scene or character you wrote that surprised you: the entirety of pandora's jar (pjo) because every time i write posally i always think it's the last time and it keeps surprising me

a favorite excerpt of your writing: the thing is my best writing's in my ofic but i shan't be sharing that so i guess this excerpt from birdcage (batman)??

They’ve fought enough times that all their arguments are born running and die just as fast—just as bloody. But this one grew in the dark, feeding off the tense silence until it let out its first piercing cry.

how did you grow as a writer last year: i got weirder. if nothing else at least i got weirder

how do you hope to grow this year: if i could write more 😭

who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer, beta, cheerleader, etc.): fnh / board etc u know how it is i'm in ur walls etc

anything from your real life show up in your writing last year: quite literally nothing. thank god

any new wisdom you can share with other writers: sometimes vibes will not sustain u in the long term

any projects you’re looking to starting (or finishing) this year: finish draft 1 of my novel-play-whatever-the-hell-it-is... and maybe work on all the world's a stage a bit . . . see u guys next year <3

[chevvy-yates]

Why is it so hard to find people to go to party with me?

I am not a party animal myself but sometimes I wish I to go outside at night, attend a cool party and hopefully meet new people through it because I can't have only online friends living far away from me.

a long rant under the read more tag.

I mean I would go alone but going alone is not so easy anymore. Here in my area I would take the risk but where this one is I do not dare to go as it's Frankfurt/Offenbach area.

Anyhow, I recently asked a friend living in Frankfurt has time on the 24th August (Saturday) for a party starting 11pm and they just wrote me they aren't so sure if they have energy left after the first work week with first-graders in school to go and party through the night (which is entirely understandable!). Instead they suggested to look for an open air or something similar instead (which also would be totally okay) bc during afternoon/evening they would have time but no much more energy left (bc of kids the days before). Well it's still 2 weeks before the party but some people know their body energy well, okay, fine. I can live with that too.

But here is the thing: I searched the date for school enrollment after Summer holidays in Hesse and it's on the 26th August (Only NRW is the week before and she does not live in NRW and works in Frankfurt which is in Hesse). So either she's lying to me in the first place, the school she works in uses a different date for whatever reasons or she did mistake the date of school enrollment. I hope it's the second or third. Otherwise I am done with asking her about party topics and only proceed to meet during day time for hanging out a bit.

Also jsut 3 days prior I asked a colleague in my team for how about going to a 3 days festival next year and do camping together. The answer I get: I don't want to plan so far into the future bc me and my boyfriend we don't know what we gonna do yet. BRU, it's just a fUCKING LONG WEEKEND. You would have to take 2 Days off max. We got 30 days each year. I am sure u can have plenty time with your bf.

You can also tell me you do not want to go with me. I am fine with it, I do not break. I am not made of sugar, ich accept a 'no'. FUCKING HELL!

So tell me WHERE do I find people who are not like this? Why am I always around people who are like this? Is it bc they got their bf/gf/wife/husband and are not single or what the fuck is it that they all like that? Srsly.

U know? sometimes I sit here and think about maybe all the people around me just tolerate my presence but in reality none wants to have to do anything with me bc I am, idk, a too odd? with my weird interests? because I am single? because I don't look and act my age? because I don't have a kid/family to take care of? bc of my temper? my character?

Noone tells me: no I don't want to be more friends wth you than I must. JUST FUCKING TELL ME and I won't ask anymore and stay the fuck alone in my 4 walls and thats it. The amount of me asking people and always getting such excuses is already too much to say it's random. It starts to hurt me the more I try and ask anyone.

It's just at this age I do not see myself as someone who just sits at home watch tv and play games. I am still young enough to go out and do something cool, live my fucking life, alright? I don't want to waste my time every weekend at home. It's already sad enough I do not have anybody that does biking, skying or just wandering around with me in nature EXCEPT my parents. Did my parents raise me maybe wrong or what is it that my generation and the one after that are such couchpotato pussys already? I mean I am DONE and entirely wasted after a party as well and it won't get better with getting older each day either.

Mann, mann, mann.

I better stop now bc I feel the rage sitting in my throat.

[uglyduckling339]

KY'S LIFE IS STRANGE DOUBLE EXPOSURE NONSENSE LIVEBLOG: Episode 3

(as always, spoilers ahead!! don't read unless you've played the game or watched it bc otherwise none of these will make sense)

Tutorial Episode 1 Episode 2

LETS FUCKING GOOO IM SO EXCITED i actually really like this game ngl

(fun fact: this episode alone took 103 drafts to liveblog, and i actually shortened the amount by combining some into a list. without the list, it's about 150 drafts lol)

WOLF SQUAD HOODIE 🗣🗣🗣 AND PINK TIPS 🗣🗣 BEST OUTFIT COMBO AROUND FR

bruh max is ALWAYS sleepin in the beginning of ep 3 lmao

the best part of max's dissociation is there is no way she could be 100% confident that she DIDN'T kill safi. even she is getting slightly convinced by the photo and its prolly bc she knows theres days she wakes up and she doesn't feel real; days she forgets completely. she will NEVER be certain she didn't kill safi bc she'll never know if she just forgot it and erased it from her memory.

oh um, ik i was just yapping abt dissociation but i just remembered that it could be a future version of max instead😭 so idk

if i had a nickel for every LiS game i've played where the main character is accused of murder and wears a wolf squad hoodie, i'd have 2 nickels.

highkey i forgot safi and vinh fucked. they're both so real ngl

LMFAO MY BROTHER SAID MAX IN THE PIC WITH THE GUN HAS A LEAD PAINT STARE

cheetos toes?? max?? girl??

AH EW ALDERMAN KYS I HATE U

max. the picture. girl. u forgot the picture.

why would u walk to open the door with very explicit evidence against you js chilling in plain eyesight u freak

love her "oh fuck" + the face she makes lol

YO WHAT THE FUCK??

WHAT

FUCK YOU DUDE

he mentioned arcadia bay?? holy shit

my fav draft in here is: "girl js eat the photo atp"

okay what was alderman even tryna do. piss max off??

her instant breakdown :( poor max

OH MY GOD

OH MY GOD

MAX PHOTO JUMPED AGAIN ??????

shes js hella rusty but damnnn omg

hey! so what the fuck was that.

why was the storm in the background?

was it a diff universe maybe?

istg it's like her nightmare never ended fr

also MAX IS STILL FINE AS HELLLLLLLL IN THAT STORM EVEN AFTER 9 YEARS daymn

omg :( her collapsing tryna use her powers

the music in this episode is so good btw

is this the first ep in DE where we get 'sits' back or did i just miss them all last time

now i love you max but yk DAMN WELL ur talking straight out of ur balls with that whole "disappearing" thing. we dont know if u vanish or not 😭

okay so luckily she DOES disappear. unluckily i have SO MANY COMMENTS now:

what abt the dozens of kids she vanished in front of last ep then? did they just not care? does this mean that when she time travelled she DID teleport around? and people js didn't say anything? hilarous 10/10

goddd this might be my favorite ep so far. the amount of references and stuff added is insane.

max's trauma peaking through ily

she's like edging a breakdown but thats not quite enough tbh. i need to see her js COLLAPSE. let her hit her lowest. suffer ♡

actually i think i just wanna see max have a super reasonable reaction to this chaos she lives through ngl

okay so i looked away to liveblog and when i looked back up a diff universe alderman was there?? and moses could see him??? huh??

obvi i saved him. max wouldnt let him die

"i could've saved him!!" "no, you couldn't have." OH MY GODDD

highkey, the random extras in this game fucking SUCK. why is one british. who tf is kim. why do i care abt changing "photo guy"'s grade. i miss the tiny cast in LiS 1

stupid ass game making me google words

quick shout out to my dad for playing the whole Yasmin scene for me. he didn't have to, he js insisted bc "i paided 85$ for this game; i wanna try it"

okay so i actually hate Living World! Vinh ngl

VICTORIA?? GIRL?? DAMN??

talking mad shit on my pink twt page man.

also max's glitchy hair in this is so interesting !!

i forgot in which world Vinh owes me a favor so i've decided to not use any favors ever 🤩

"my door is always open" sounds familar...

lucas is the only person to be like slightly consious of max wandering around his room lmao

yup lucas is supposed to be jeffershit coded

AHH direct jefferson mention 😰

yk what. i dislike the loading screens. why r they so often

safi :( no :( y r u so mad :(

OH MY GOD IT'S COURTNEY'S BDAY </3

MAX IS SO SAD AND LONELY I LOVE HER

i think at first these liveblogs were more detailed but now i just say words lowkey

dude shes like so sad rn its insane. ily girl

SMASH OR PASS LMAOOOOO:

pass moses, smash gwen, didnt even get a choice w amanda (i think thats fucking WEIRD btw; i'll elabrote in a min), pass lucas, Kiss vinh

OH MY GOD I FORGOT TO ADD THAT SHE NEARLY CALLED CHLOE. BAE WAS SO UPSET SHE ALMOST CALLED HER OLD BAE

guys i make Max kiss Warren and Chloe is LiS and now i wanna do that again with Vinh and Amanda. #PolyamorousMaxineCanon

amanda's scene gets bisexual lighting okk

LETS THRASH SHAKABRAH !!!!!!!!!

okay so going back to the Amanda 'no choice' thing, at first I rejected her (bc the first interaction in the game with her is the game borderline shoved us onto her??) and now i've grown to kinda like her.

I like rhat she does listen to our boundaries and doesn't push on now but I feel like we missed alot of chances to learn more abt amanda bc of the romance being cut. Like i'm almost certain if I had chosen a romance with her we could have gotten a way better conversation from it.

anyways !! max almost crying :(

all lesbians like gwen bro

OH?? OKAY B&E

MY CAT?? IS MY CAT OKAY?? IRIS?? BABY??

this is the first time idk who coulda done this. i have so many guesses but i have zero clue fs.

I FOUND THE BABY DONT WORRY GUYS

poor sweetiepie is so scared :(

oh thats a lame reveal. its js another max

MUSIC SLAPS THO 🔥🔥🔥🔥

so im hearing that alderman was just a lil bitch

so the 'dopplegangers' are actually a shapeshifter??

THE SHAPESHIFTER IS SAFI????? WHAT??

okay i'm going straight into Episode 4 rn cuz i'm hooked but that was fire. it felt more like a Life Is Strange episode then the other 2 and yall know i LOVE characters showing any emotions ever lol

[wyldblunt]

hi personal post just under a cut, it's not even serious or negative or anything i just feel like blabbering and it's embarrassing to have it out in the open lol

i NEED......... to get over how shy i am abt playing w ppl in game... it's not even just Running Content, i mean i get anxious/shy about even just. goofing around aimlessly/map completing with anyone i haven't known for literally years. or who i am not literally married to.

idk what it is!!! my brain immediately kicks into overdrive and gets completely clogged up with "am i not talking enough. are they getting bored. am i moving too fast/slow. i don't know what to do. this is stressing me out" and i have zero idea how to stop myself from getting like that. literally yesterday (SORRY IF THIS WAS YOU??? I THOUGHT YOU WERE NICE FWIW) someone came up to me and marina in game and said hi nicely and asked what we were up to and i like. Answered Once, and then did not talk again the whole time, and we sort of ran around together for a bit until i kind of lost track of them but the ENTIRE TIME i was agonizing over "am i being totally unfriendly and weird by not chatting. am i coming off like i want them to go away or just generally like an asshole" and as you can see i am also still agonizing about it now. even though objectively it was probably completely fine.

and EVEN WITH very good friends i've known for a long time i clam up like that... when i was trying to get into ffxiv some very good friends stopped by to give me stuff/say hi to my character etc and i got the exact same way!!! ppl i literally talk to all the time on twitter etc but then the second we're behind in game avatars i just get stressed out and start feeling super awkward and aside from like. jumping in place a few times suddenly forget literally every single thing i have ever known about human socialization

but it's dumb!!! and i'm so over it!!!! i wanna run dungeons and fractals and stuff, i even wanna scrape a group together to kind of activate my old guild again and claim a guild hall, stuff like that... and i KNOW the tumblr community is a great way to do that bc u guys are all so friendly and chill and it's way better than trying to throw myself into pugs or whatever. but oh my god. my fucking BRAIN, man

as i type this all out i do wonder if maybe a solution would be getting on voice chat w ppl while trying to play stuff together bc i truly feel like 90% of my anxiety comes from "i cannot type in chat and play at the same time, therefore i get super overwhelmed and confused about how to communicate naturally" and i feel like vc would solve that. but uh. if anyone does not mind sometimes running content with a guy who will probably be mostly silent and weird the whole time (the real glyndwr experience!!!!) please feel free to hit me up and i will get back to u between three and six billion business days

EDIT adding on more bc im still thinking lol. i just have a huge huge fear of coming off like a dick or like im unfriendly or something. ppl have constantly told me im intimidating for ages and it hurts my feelings and i get really antsy about it (this is why i never play reblog games abt like "rate how intimidating the person u reblogged from is" etc bc if anyone actually said they were scared of me i would get sad for real lol!!!). i naturally usually have a kind of flat/dry affect online and i make friends slowly, and i don't feel like changing how i express myself bc it's natural to me but. agh!!!! agh!!!! my wittle feelings!!!!!!

[icouldhyperfixatehim]

I'll give you three for the tv series game, if that's okay! (I watch a lot of cdramas too, so I chucked one in there as well.) Tv series: 1. Moonlight Chicken, 2. Cutie Pie, and 3. Word of Honor.

ooh fun, three so different, thank you!!

moonlight chicken

Favourite character: honestly so tough...but probably wen at a push 🤍

Funniest character: li ming

Best-looking character: challenge level impossible. alan.

3 favourite ships: jimwen, alanwen, heartliming

Least favourite character: gentrification. or heart's parents.

Least favourite ship: jimbeam. still narratively interesting though!!

Reason I started watching it: I mean. Earthmix and p'aof I wasn't going to miss it, and then the gifs started rolling in...🥰

cutie pie

Favourite character: opposite problem to mlc, i don't think i liked anyone enough to call them a fave lmao. lets say jay

Funniest character: the wee rat masquerading as a dog, i laughed every time it appeared god bless it 😂😂

Best-looking character: Jay again, perth looked absolutely bangin in this show

3 favourite ships: liankuea, nuersyn, anyone x the truth

Least favourite character: the other hia played by max whose name escapes me

Least favourite ship: yer man above and kundiao

Reason I started watching it: I liked zee in why r u and at that point hadn't seen him in anything else so thought I'd give it a whirl

word of honour

Favourite character: gu xiang 💔

Funniest character: ye bai yi. grumpy old fuck is a deep weakness of mine re character archetypes

Best-looking character: okay this hit a button for me bc i'm enchanted by how jing bei yuan looks like one of those beautiful fluffy moths (silk worm moth? the model of the venezualen poodle moth?) 😍

3 favourite ships: wenzhou, beauty ghost x tragicomic ghost, du pusa x qiao lu han (i know they hatefucked i just Know it)

Least favourite character: lovelace ghost

Least favourite ship: I didn't really buy in on gu xiang and cao ning until very close to the end and then my arse was ripped asunder

Reason I started watching it: the friend who told me about the untamed recced it as a follow up, and I had already been convinced of any further recs from her after she gifted the untamed to my unprepared but willing psyche

[6ad6ro]

like i know zelda botw doesn't have nearly enough music, but the music it DOES have is pretty incredible. take mipha's theme. it's so good that it could be the main theme of the whole game. it fuckin kills me every time i hear it. droppin shenmue-level compositions as a side character leitmotif? tyvm.

like u wanna know why i'm so hard on botw's lack of music in the overworld or thru most of the game? it's bc clearly they have musical geniuses creating for them. but instead of focusing on that music n puttin it in wherever they can, they instead went for this shit pretentious minimalist direction. I WANT TO HEAR THEIR AMAZING MUSIC. PLAY THE GODDAMN MUSIC. i didn't buy a zelda game to listen to wind and bees for fucks sakes.

[angstandhappiness]

DUDE

@perfectharmonyloveschaos #kratos being afraid that he will influence his son to be like him: is a distant and somewhat neglectful father#his son: is so much like him only a smaller ball of rage that neither realise he also inherited from his mom#i love this so much#i wish there was an option to have blood in the game rather than it always vanishing#it would be so cool#gross#but cool

@butlerkitty this scene made me feel So Much... poor atreus. little boy :(

@the-awakened-insomnis This scene wasn't bloody enough in game. I like this drawing really scary. Also Atreus fuckin eyes💀

@aussiepineapple1st Just about It was exactly like that

@lovecraft-enjoyer kratos' eyes went through the 7 stages of grief

@tamanbunga123 Which scene is this

@dmzira @tamanbunga123 when Kratos is in the light of Alfheim, for him its a few minutes but in reality it was much much longer and Atreus had been fighting the elves by himself until he pulled his father out of the light. Kratos was mad (I dont remember why but I think he was pulled out just as he started hearing Faye) and Atreus snaps back that Kratos abandoned him again and scream asks why he doesn't care. The wording and realization of how long he had been 'gone' seems to shook him a lot

@the-support-character You draw Atreus so Skrunkly it makes me happy

@cutietears This scene is my abandonment issues/trauma fr :(

@dessertwaffle The way you drew this is just so Right. Thank you so much. I’m alive. Love you. You’re doing amazing.

@threi @dessertwaffle thank youuuuuu 😭

@renatogpadilla The EXACT moment Kratos knew how much he fucked up.

@starcourts #.jpeg#this shit fucking hurt !!!!#thinking abt the interview w sunny where he says he cringed at his performance in the og game bc he feels like he could do better but then#there were scenes like this that were so ….

@lacm-ac Ah kids...#just kids being kids haha

@fruitstealer #this was messed up i agree atreus

@anathash #gods same same#it was traumatic though 🫠

@forgedobsidian #oh that child is TRAUMATIZED traumatized

@just-in-the-nickleback-of-time #drawing Atreus as a little Creature TM is correct

@blackrabbit-megapig #Atreus yelling at his father about how much he wants Kratos to love him#while they’re surrounded by the piles of bodies of dead elves Atreus killed#will never not be funny to me

@peiskos-and-apricity #I become absolutely feral every time i see this scene somewhere#just absolutly tearing things apart while I scream#that child just murdered thousands of dark elves and was more concerned about his dad not coming back#like BRO#how are you not FUCKING DEAD#absolutely insane#i love him#also love how perfectly you captured his 'tiny pathetic wet cat of a child' and 'literally covered in the blood of his enemies'

@candlesofthebog #So Atreus? Still giddy to wield the axe?

@livingbythecreed #sunny's voice acting in this is just wow... broke my heart

@mayormimii #even covered in blood he’s the 🥺 emoji#okay but jokes aside that line stuck with me and i’m glad someone else seems to be thinking about it too#angsty 2018 atreus….my beloved

@botopsy #and then kratos just like NOT TELLING HIM WHAT HAPPENED#bc he's just Like That#u love to see the character flaws as they grow

@fandom-blackhole #just played through this part#and i mean atreus was a little scary during that scene ngl#but also like i just wanted to give him a hug bc fuck he went through it

@theholytoaster #god i love this#its so true#kratos get your stoic ass and get EMOTION OUT

@gaysparkler #GOD WHEN HE PULLS YOU OUT OF THE LIGHT AND YOU SEE ALL THE BODIES AROUND#AND THEN KRATOS TRIES TO CONNECT WITH HIM BUT ATREUS PUSHES AWAY ANY ATTEMPT HE MAKES#baby boy. baby.#kratos is trying so hard#HE CARES!!! HE DOES CARE!!!!!!!! HE JUST DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO SHOW IT#i need to replay ghjkdshgjshgjk#op your baby atreus is truly one of the best depictions of him i've seen

@k4ik4yk04 #// HIS STUPID GOOFY EYES GO GET HIS ASS . BOY !!!! this is so good

@ixorahh #top ten crazy moments tbh#tiny atreus literally bodying every enemy BY HIMSELF in order to protect his dad

@majjiktricks #ohh hes a fucked up little guy!

@changelinghearts #i forgot how bloodthirsty atreus was in gow 2018#my man was a little menace

@chorkless #nah atreus was valid for that#this fucks byw i love this

@bird-wells2144 #i think about this scene so often#something something metaphor something something

@ronsenboobi #the Horrors!!!

@aggressivekeyboard #wish the scene had been as fucked up as this#give that boy the Horrors#but this slaps

@acute-octogon #ooof pain#hug him and build a lyre with him please

@din-skywalker #this is why you need to hug your son more#and he does in r :)

@the-poorgroomsbride #love this scene#boy really let it all out#loved this whole chapter tbh#except the dark elf king guy he kicked my ass royally the first time#took me like two hours to beat him#and I was REFUSING to lower the difficulty#I was at the balanced level#do you have something to say boy#I SAID THE ONLY TIME YOU WANT TO TALK TO ME IS WHEN YOU WANT SOMETHING#god tier

@sapphcon-ic #fucking sick#wanna see a flashback of atreus defending himself against dark elves so bad

favorite scene

[thingswhatareawesome]

just sr pathetic whining.

do just like i'm supposed to when trying swarm diff III. path of abundance, pres mc, qq, dhil, luocha. get great run of blessings. boss stage 1 pastes qq near instantly (even had the destr blessing to divide dmg), then couple rounds later gets dhil, despite healing. draws out to boss enrage (goddamn grizzlies anyway). constant enemies with lightning dmg, when i didn't have jy, ofc. and boss buff was gonna do shit anyway, bc it was going to create phys or ice weakess, which ofc i had neither of.

next run, take jy. still use path abundance. blessing choices are constant shit, don't even have the basic resonance yet. partway through stage 1, get a swarm i literally can't do enough dmg to to get ahead of the new spawns, sit and spin until enrage. and ofc jy dies. does that matter? no, bc this time they want *quantum* so i should've had qq.

so tired of the random bullshit in this event. you NEVER have the damage type they're going to want, every time you guess you're wrong. the blessing rng is all over the place. and ofc my shields just aren't good enough bc i'm sure i just should have gepard's super shields which i don't, bc i'm both f2p and standard only ever gave me one 5* and that's himeko.

i just HATE this event. i wasted so much gd time, to get nothing. yet yesterday i did so well on difficulty II and it was damned near easy. it's ALL RANDOM RNG and god i just want to destroy shit and i'm just again, so frustrated bc all i can see is i'm too pathetic and shitty at this game and my characters are too shitty to function, and all i see are people with amazing characters with amazing stats and i just WISH i could fucking have their relics and planar shit bc all mine are bad and it's not my fault??? it's what the game's given me? i'm doing my fucking best??? and it's just not enough.

just tired of this event making it seem like hoyo's gating me, that i'm not allowed to play with the big kids anymore. all bc just rng on top of rng on top of rng with a f2p cherry on top.

idk. not sure whether to retry it tomorrow with path preservation, or just give up and go back to diff ii and accept i'm too crappy to do any better (meanwhile everyone considers III ez or normal and only get challenged higher).

and yet again i'm going to be up too late. bc sim u shit takes SO MUCH TIME and ofc so does the swarm version. and i'm tired of not realizing i'm playing til 1am which means i'll be lucky to be goign to bed by 3. again.

and i think i'm the only one who hates this event, who's frustrated and upset by it, everyone else thinks it's fun and great, like it's only ME that's struggling. because i suck. i guess.

i hate that i hit the point in this game where i feel too shitty of a player to be daring to play. i remember when i got to that point in xiv when i changed from hey i'm having fun at this and i'm doing my best and doing good to wow i suck and no matter hard i try i'm always avg at best. and now i've hit that here, where i felt like hey i'm having fun i'm doing good if i do my best and keep trying i eventually get it to now just i already know to not bother with FH and now this just says nah i'm shitty and everyone else are meta gods and i'm stupid and take forever to learn, but no matter how much i do or how much time i spend learning, the game's still going to fuck me over by just constant CONSTANT bad rng in every damned aspect of the game.

why can't the game just give me a fucking break and give me the good rng it give other people. please, why push me down when i'm already down as it is.

and seriously HOW COULD I DO SO WELL YESTERDAY AND SO COMPLETELY AWFUL TODAY. ALL THROUGH ALL 3 PARTS OF DIFF II WITHOUT EVEN ONE DEATH AND THIS I CAN'T EVEN DO STAGE 1. i just...what the fuck even. tired of feeling like i only get to do well if i'm lucky and all the stars align just so. why even try if the biggest gamble is if the game is/isn't going to outright fuck you over and prevent you from succeeding.

i just...want some event rewards too :/ i knew i wasn't going to get them all, had that happen before on one with difficulty levels. didn't realize i was barely going to get anything from doing my literal goddamned best.

[prettyboykatsuki]

♡  bakugou headcanons that feel like a warm hug ♡

➳wc ;; 1.2k (oh my god. what is wrong w me.) 

➳ a/n ;; or my bakugou brain-rot that never goes away. thanks for being my comfort character, you fucking gremlin. forgive the silly title. 

♡ always makes little adjustments to the environment for you. he’s observant to a fault so if there’s something even a little off and it happens to bother you, he’s trying to work around it. 

♡ good at playing guitar but not good at reading music. he can throw something together if you give him a chance but he’s not good at trying to recreate someone elses memory. he’s not like.. musically gifted either but he likes how guitar sounds 

♡ thinks about getting a lot of piercings in his ear because he thinks they’d look cool but is kind of too nervous? the idea of a needle going through his skin is a ick. when you start dating, he drags you to his appointments lol - won’t admit it but he thinks he looks so hot when he gets them. takes a bunch of selfies <3 

♡ needs to be moving constantly. can’t sit completely still to save his life. when he listens to music, he moves his head. sometimes he just runs his thumb over his fingers. 

♡ really, really bad at talking. not in the sense he can’t communicate (that too) but he just likes listening in conversation. rarely adds his own thing. but when he does - always accidentally says something super meaningful 

♡ enjoys subtle physical touch because it is literally intimate he melts inside. a hand on his forearm or shoulder. your legs over his lap. small things that show how comfortable you are. 

♡ likes being held cause he’s a big ass baby lmfao 

♡ wont admit it but enjoy when you choose pretty or colorful bandages for his cuts he won’t himself but it’s like keeping you in his pocket wherever he goes.  

♡ really needs you to find him attractive dslksjk it’s not that he ever thinks he’s particularly ugly. but he didn’t really assign importance to his appearance at any point in his life, yet now he puts in a scary amount of effort. readjusts his hair so much more, makes sure his clothes fit good. fixes his fuckin’ face lol 

♡ likes chewing gum a lot and always has a pack on him. really proud of how big he can blow bubbles and will be a little sad if you’re unimpressed. 

♡ is overly sentimental about things you’ve made him - especially if it’s something super dumb. you drew him a silly little sketch of him in a frog hat? it’s in his wallet behind his id. freaks out when he thinks he’s lost his wallet 

♡ LOVES phone calls. yes he still hates talking. but the way his face looks when he listens to your voice. eyes half-lidded, shamelessly smiling - it’s so tender and so lovesick. 

♡ terrible first grader hand-writing. he tries to write them for you in the beginning of your relationship (to be romantic or some shit) but they’re so incomprehensible pls. if he focuses on it - it can be legible but most of the time ... yea no. 

♡ doesn’t favor tea or coffee but prefers tea if he has to drink one. 

♡ crazy good at eyeballing measurement. even in baking. once made a perfectly good bread without weighing anything and doesn’t get why that’s so wild. 

♡ has the phone on his text set to be bigger even though his eyes are fine. 

♡ lets you do the layout thing on his iphone and decorate as you please. says he doesn’t care but when he sees you made it hero themed/fit with his aesthetic - he got so red it was so cute. 

♡ hates shopping in store. will still always go with you because the one time you went alone a store clerk hit on you.  

♡ so practical. he started couponing when he was in his early twenties like an old man. checks the news and weather the night before, every night. never misses doctors appointments. 

♡ shit at any form of visual art. drawing, painting etc - cannot do it to save his life. but he tries. his hands shake when he tries to draw hearts for you 

♡ blows the eyelashes off your cheek super gently whenever he notices. he’ll like.. take your face in his hands and blow so softly like he’s gonna hurt you. 

♡ used to agree to make pinky promises with you as a joke. now though? automatically holds his pink out for you to take it. straight up pouts if you don’t. 

♡ you two have a song and when it comes on, he’ll sing it back to you. any other time? any other song? he wont. but he always sings your song even without realizing, just mouths it. 

♡ enjoys when you put your hands under his shirt and just leave them there and hug him like that. skin to skin contact is elite but only from you. 

♡ hamsters adore this man. they just do. 

♡ draws frowny faces on your eggs with hot-sauce 

♡ soul leaves his body when you play with his hair and scratch his scalp. the tension in his neck literally disappears and he just sighs that shit relaxes him like crazy 

♡ the first time he says i love you, you’re tying his tie for his first hero event. you’re telling him to that the color looks good on him and you’re smiling. it honestly it just slips. he went on to win an award that night. 

♡ his favorite memory of the two of you was when you were trying to leave the grocery store one afternoon. it was raining heavy as shit. you pulled him in under your clear umbrella and just stood there. he doesn’t know why but that means a lot to him. 

♡ cares a lot about his dads approval on his work specifically. him and his dad have a really specifc bond and he actually admires him quite a bit. 

♡ nothing makes him cry like “im proud of you”. especially when it’s for something small. it’s just something he didn’t hear enough in a sincere way. 

♡ likes fruit flavored sweets over chocolate (generally needs something to do w his mouth cause it helps him think. bad oral fixation) so he keeps little candies on him 

♡ shit at video games. terrible at them with the exception of mario kart? for some reason. 

♡ always loses his keys 

♡ stutters every!single!time! he tries to compliment you. it’s been YEARS. 

♡ takes a melatonin gummy before bed and always drinks a glass of water 

♡ buys you flowers and keeps them too. like does the upkeep on it and replaces them if the wilt. suggests pressing them to keep them for longer. 

♡ lowkey cries really easily. he just gets overwhelmed w his feelings some times and it makes him cry even if he doesn’t want too. you and the bakusquad are sworn to secrecy over it though 

♡ wears his ring around his neck on a chain bc it’s easier to show off. 

♡ naturally good at doing hair! 

♡ likes sneakers but wears dr. scholl's because he walks a lot and is on his feet for most of the day w his job. just being careful. 

♡ loves u a lot <3 

[psychedelic-ink]

I think when it comes to fanfiction and when it's x reader (not OC) people will always look at you weird. Bc to them they never thought about reading something where they're putting themselves in the perspective of being loved or just having fun with their favorite character.

Lots of people day dream but I've learned that lots of others don't. And most people dream about obtaining stuff they've never had or have had so little of it but they crave more, be it: having a friend, being in a relationship, a new game they've played at a friend's house bc they can't afford it, etc etc.

So most of the time the people who don't day dream are the ones saying: why are you reading x reader fanfiction? Isn't that cringe? That's so weird.

Man, all of us reading x reader fanfiction just want to be loved by our favorite character (s). Most of us have never had a meaningful relationship or none at all at the age of 20s, 30s, 40s etc.

Also it comes with going deep within a fandom. When u dig deep and make an account at Twitter/Tumblr you will see takes, fan art and even FANFICTION. stuff u may have never experienced before. You didn't know that shit existed.

Again, most people who criticize fanfic have never dug deep into a fandom. It's a thing that's always been there. Every fandom will have fanfiction. Believe me. That's why I don't like talking to guys who like marvel and star wars like me. Like okay i enjoy it but i don't feel comfortable enough in telling them oh i read fanfiction. Bc im pretty sure they don't even know what that is and I'm not gonna be the one to explain it.

One time i joked with an internet friend how talking to guys about those fandoms is like:

Me: i love the mandalorian (the character)

Them: oh yeah!!! He's so cool

Me: no u don't get it. I need mando to fuck me 😐

When it comes to OC people are more okay with it. Bc they're not imagining themselves. They're just imagining someone else. Like in a book. But when it comes to x reader it's different bc you either do imagine yourself or imagine someone made up from your mind. And people are not really prone to imagine themselves.

I love x reader but personally i don't imagine myself. But that's another story.

Idk where i was going with this but people should know fanfiction exist and they shouldn't be icky about it. It's normal. It's been here since the 60s (star trek). (Actually it's been here for longer but that'sss another story). Idk sorry if this doesn't make sense...

I've always been very open about writing fanfiction, all my friends and parents know. Even my professor knew I wrote it, and I think that me talking freely and being proud of it somewhat took their need to make fun of it and the power behind it, though I also understand that can't be the case for everyone

it's a bit long so i'm putting the rest under the cut dear anon xx

I really don't understand why people think x reader is cringe. Believe me when I writer character x character or x OC fic I'm also putting my personality into that character, or parts of it at least. That's what makes fanfic fun and you can't really say one is cringe and the other isn't imo, it's all fanfic.

I've only been in one terrible relationship my entire like and fanfic has helped me out tremendously so I feel you there <3

And honestly I'm so immersive when reading/consuming content that I can put myself into it immediately, so it's hard for me to imagine that other's don't. It doesn't matter to me who's pov I'm reading it from, or who it is. Maybe I'm just lucky in that aspect, but you might be right in saying that people just don't want to think of themselves directly and want to do it through a third party instead.

Experiencing fandom is truly an adventure it can go bad or good, luckily I've been experiencing good things so far with a couple of bumps! And to be fair I live in Turkey where fanfic and fandom is pretty much nonexistent, It's much more known now in the US and Europe

I agree that people shouldn't judge when they hear fanfic. It helps to understand yourself better and I can imagine some people not really liking the freedom of it.

And no worries, it made sense! I'm always happy to chat 💜

[blackswallowtailbutterfly]

COMPLETELY agree:

For me a big part of the joy of playing pokemon as a kid was that sense of independence, the feeling that you personally are responsible for saving the day. with recent games it felt increasingly like the other characters were majorly crampin my style. in let's go eevee, it was so cool when lorelei from the elite four helps you out bc she's mysterious and strong and then eventually you get to challenge her yourself. i could not tell you a single thing abt like any of your "rivals" beyond the first couple gens except that i was always groaning when they showed up again to "help" like where is the guy i named JACKASS in all caps who existed just to roast me even the pokedex is too helpful now like smart technology has infected the world of pokemon. i low-key hate the term "hand-holdy" bc i think it's often applied unfairly (i love u fi idk why the hd remake removed ur funny lines) but it felt very much like you always had too much unwanted help from characters that just weren't interesting.

As for the art, I'm not married to pixel art, but I think the art and enjoyability of the game peaked at X and Y. I think White 2 had an excellent post-game and nice music and lots of places to explore.

But even in White 2, like I'm sorry but I do actually get to have main character syndrome in a fucking video game. I am not a secondary character helping out some loser finish their story before I get to go off on my own, get out of my fucking way and stop helping. Let me get lost in a cave three times, have to double-back to a Pokemon Centre, race against a poisoning which continues after a battle. They aren't challenging enough anymore. Like you know how awesome the fairy forest in Sword and Shield would have been if it was twice as big? How cool some of these caves would be?

And why has the Elite Four or whatever stands in for them now been so fucking nerfed? First playthrough of Pokemon Blue I lost like five times. Lost at least once in Silver, too. And when I won, it was literally by 1hp.

The open world I'm actually okay with, I like how they chase you out of the grass now, it's funny. But I think that's a good reason to drop the 3D sprites. They should allow every Pokemon to be catchable, hatchable, or tradeable in the game, and they don't have to worry about animating buggy 3D art if they just use the damn pixel sprites.

i'll spare you all from my pokemon rant

[ialwaysknewyouwerepunk]

Umm I appreciate what you said ab louis and while I do agree w the way he tells full length stories and just jumps a little around the truth, the way his image is this laddy lad (I mean look at his twitter) ect but I mean his situation is so fucked up. Idk if you wanna talk ab it or what's your opinion on that so I'll just say good morning america and hope u get it. I don't think he likes his situation I don't think he likes looking so one dimensional..I just wanna have faith in the future

hey anon, i definitely stayed on the lighter side of topics in my answer but we all know that for both louis and harry their (forced) public persona and their secrecy is a result of their closeting. ruthless closeting that has put limits on them from the start, and has ruined parts of their lives, which you can hear in way more lyrics than a basic cishet boyband would write. a big part of that was louis steering the band in that direction bts. 'home' and how it was released is the biggest result of that. bc he's been fighting it - slowly but surely. i think something louis has been telling us is that there is change coming, that the chess game of getting to where he wants to be without burning bridges before he wants to cross them (and then burning them down) is being played and he's being cautious about every move. he's breaking through the glass. what i especially meant about him benefiting from being a leader bts is that he has learned a lot about the industry through that, which is now helping him play the game until he gets what he wants. that's truly what i believe is happening and has been for years. harry and louis are both still heavily closeted but in different ways - harry's is more of a glass closet while louis's is pretty iron-clad, and one isn't worse than the other. they both limit their freedom of expression and to simply be who they are bc they've been told that the world won't accept them and their careers would basically be over if they came out. i will say it plainly: babygate, and that whole period of time of "louis goes out every night and takes women home" was character/career assassination and an extra tight padlock on his closet. because he was getting so powerful bts and he was proving that he wanted to fight back. it was a way to paint louis as an irresponsible kid throwing away his money. someone who'd get a kid from a one night stand. someone you don't sign a solo contract to. then they spun it to some "responsible dad" story to cement the whole "yes i am father" narrative long-term. (just to get through the story real quickly here ofc bc what a shitfest and no it doesn't make sense.) i am convinced if bg hadn't happened, we would've experienced louis as what he really is: someone strong and successful, not limited by the industry. we would've maybe seen a more forceful or public push by the time of the hiatus, who tf knows. bc what's been going on all these years with his solo career is him being constantly held back and silenced. it makes literally no sense that the man we see trending on twitter after a simple "how's it going?" and who's climbing the charts merely by fan effort is still somehow unknown to the gp. NOW we finally have him freed from syco - the villains of the story here obviously - and i know i can see a lot of change already. the livestream, his twitter reaching millions, the new announcements about him being independent and the companies backing him already properly working to promote him!! the stadium tour selling out!! his tweets literally telling us to have faith in the future, which he most certainly has!!! bc he's most definitely furious about what's been done to him but he's also too smart to make a rash move and destroy any chance of him coming out on top. how he'll make sure bg is over and done with i have no idea but he'll probably find a way to close it off as quietly as possible bc he's literally also too nice to do anything that would hurt that family, f.e. (he might also make it a public shitfest and make everyone who was involved's lives a living hell and i sure as fuck condone that behavior but, again, he's too smart and too nice.) that's why we don't see him going crazy on twitter like some other artists pointing out abuse in the industry - which they're rightfully doing!! but louis is choosing to play the game until he really is the boss and is powerful enough to push anyone that fucks him over aside. until no one can fuck him over anymore. watch him become someone like simon cowell but a million times better and whatever the opposite of abusive is.

so yeah, kind anon, i have faith in the future and i hope you do too

[just-a-honey-badger]

I posted 417 times in 2022

That's 417 more posts than 2021!

102 posts created (24%)

315 posts reblogged (76%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@an-ungraceful-swan

@frayro-called-frey

@fromthemouthofkings

@shipsgaysfordays

@bitch-is-ace

I tagged 245 of my posts in 2022

Only 41% of my posts had no tags

#bel rants about random shit - 60 posts

#ask bel - 25 posts

#bel gays homosexually - 24 posts

#bel rants about hp - 19 posts

#bel rants about marauders - 19 posts

#bel procrastinates - 18 posts

#asks - 15 posts

#marauders era - 14 posts

#important - 13 posts

#bel writes - 13 posts

Longest Tag: 124 characters

#like 'i don't want to be a woman but i don't want to be not a woman' and assumed i was just. a woman who kinda had to settle

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

✨the queue✨: a guide

the queue is great! it's helpful if you want to post regularly or if you have lots of posts you want to reblog but don't want to do all at once.

you can queue posts by either a) clicking the reblog button > clicking the arrow next to it once it opens the page where you can add comments > selecting 'add to queue'; or

b) going into settings > clicking on the part that says 'labs' (where tumblr has new features they're working on) > turning on 'fast queue' (this adds a new icon next to the 'reply' and 'reblog' icons where you basically reblog a post but 'add to queue' is the default).

and why would i want to post regularly, you ask? well, the more you post (and the more diverse posts you have), the more likely it is for your posts to reach more people. accurate tags help with this, too. it also helps if you need to post at a consistent schedule for whatever reason, but can't always log on at the same time every day.

if you want to queue your posts at more random times, go into labs and turn on 'queue 2.0'. this enables a more detailed way to schedule your queued posts. i had to play around with it before i found something i liked, and i suggest you do too.

that's it

17 notes - Posted November 30, 2022

#4

15 questions 15 tags

ty @shipsgaysfordays for the tag <33

Nickname: tortilla (from @fruutcake)

Height: fucking short lmao under 5 ft even though i'm fully grown

Last thing I googled: 'chapbook publishers' bc i'm trying to figure out if that's something i want to do

Song stuck in my head currently: line without a hook (she's a, she's a lady, and i am just a boy) <3

Number of followers: with the excessive amounts of porn bots? 47

Amount of sleep: ah. um it's inconsistent but on average 9-ish hours?

Dream job: university professor, author, maybe architect? or artist, i want that gay literature major kinda vibe. probably gonna be a ux researcher or sum tho

Wearing: pjs

Movie/book that summarizes me: anne with an e <3

Favorite song currently: r u mine? by arctic monkeys or dandelions by ruth b

Aesthetic: solarpunk/goblincore/light academia

Favorite authors: rick riordan? i don't read enough

Random fact: when a pig gets a cold or cough they shoot their intestines out of their anus and the farmer has to stuff it back in

no pressure y'all: @fruutcake @bitch-is-ace @frey-the-they @4remus @presidentroarie @too-many-fandoms-to-explore @an-ungraceful-swan @whooshsoohw @kara-night-light @that-bitch-kat3 @ihopeyoubothstaysafefromharm @fromthemouthofkings @adharastarlight @linh-song @xanadaus

(ik i don't interact with half of u sorry i wanted to hit 15)

20 notes - Posted December 18, 2022

#3

writing a new marauders fic where all the marauders in the afterlife react to harry's daily life (not his war stuff but like his cringe everyday stuff)

21 notes - Posted November 8, 2022

#2

new tag game!

featuring: questions i never really see

1. a time period you feel you'd do well in: the 1970s

2. a mythical animal you wish you could be: a dragon

3. your favourite time of day: sunset

4. the main character that's the most like you: anne shirley-cuthbert

5. your favourite flower: sunflowers

6. a universe you would love to be in: the potterverse (without the terf part)

7. the aesthetic you wish you had: downtown girl/skater girl

8. a character you would love to be: beth harmon

9. a character you would be best friends with: anne shirley-cuthbert

10. your favourite outfit to wear: my band outfit; aka a dress shirt and wide-leg linen pants

tags: @fruutcake @shipsgaysfordays @bitch-is-ace @an-ungraceful-swan @too-many-fandoms-to-explore @frayro-called-frey @fromthemouthofkings @4remus @presidentroarie @kara-night-light and anyone who wants to do it!

25 notes - Posted December 24, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

okay, but what if peter didn't exist and regulus was in his place and james and remus took sirius and regulus's last name and the marauders were all the blacks and they went to see walburga and were like 'hey mom!' and walburga fucking flips

173 notes - Posted September 23, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[boygirlmeetsworld]

Messy.

ONE-SHOT

Word count: 2793

Disclaimer:  One piece and all it’s characters belong to Eiichiro Oda, I just like to write about them.

Warning: None

Rating: T (i guess?? there’s cursing)

Author’s Note: Whale, this is the first fanfic I’ve posted on the interwebs since high school so please keep that in mind, lol. I do plan to finish it sooner than later so check back in a few days if you want to read the rest, sorry I don’t have it all done right now.  At long last it it FINISHED.

Feel free to tell me what u think! Unless it’s mean, then I ask that u keep those thoughts in ur noggin because I’m just writing these for fun not for grades.

Without further ado, here ya go.

Author’s Note pt 2: So i didn’t end up going the smut route like I originally planned, but I think it worked out better bc this one got nice and Emotional.

Summary: Zoro really shouldn’t agree to be Nami’s drinking partner if he wanted to keep their friendship from getting... Complicated.

__________________________________________

The moon was floating high in the night sky when Nami wandered onto the deck, unable to sleep even after a few hours of sketching. 

She wanted company – specifically, she wanted the company of the crew’s resident alcoholic. It only took a few minutes to find him on the lawn deck with his back against a tree and his eye closed. ‘How typical.’

Nami smiled a small, excited smile as she strode over to him and squatted between his parted legs. An unconscious sigh left her nose as she swept her gaze up and down his face. She caught herself thinking, ‘He really is easy on the eyes isn’t he.’ ....again. 

Who was she kidding? She’d been thinking the same thing every time she looked his way lately. 

Two years ago she’d been able to keep the immature crush she had on him locked tightly away but somehow - it had gotten out and was slowly consuming her entire being. 

Nami hoped he hadn’t noticed how often she invited him to drink with her because she didn’t think she could handle being rejected. So she settled for spending time alone with him whenever and however she could. 

“Hey, moss-head,” the navigator said finally, leaning in to squint at him, “Are you asleep?”

He had literally just settled down for a nice cat nap when the navigator appeared suddenly to interrupt him. ‘Damn. What the hell did she want now?’ 

Instead of answering, Zoro chose to ignore her and pretend like he was deep asleep. ‘Why won’t she go bother someone else?’

Nami started prodding his cheek with one finger to rouse him if he really was sleeping, ”Zorooo wake up, I wanna drink,” she whined and his eyelid opened instantly.

‘Why’s she so damn pretty..’ was the first thought he had when he realized that she was a lot closer than he’d anticipated. 

He mentally chastised himself after, trying to remind his id that Nami had never once indicated that she wanted to be anything other than friends and he should respect that. 

But… There was no harm in looking from time to time was there? And she was pretty. She’d always been... ‘Oh for fuck’s sake, now he sounded like Sanji. He needed to get a grip.’

“Helloooooo,” Nami waved her hand in Zoro’s face until he snapped back to reality and snatched her wrist up, pulling it away. He scowled but it wasn’t deep, and now he was refusing to look her in the eye. “What was that about, huh Zoro?”

“Nothing.” The swordsman replied perhaps a little too quickly to avoid suspicion, “Thought I heard a noise, doesn’t matter – oi, didn’t you want to do something?” 

He couldn’t remember what exactly it was. He’d been so distracted by the way her bangs framed her face and sometimes got caught in her eyelashes—’Damnit! He was doing it again.’

Nami smirked again but didn’t press the subject anymore. She’d do that later once they started drinking. “Weren’t you listening to me? You’re so rude, maybe I should find someone else to share my booze with.”

Was it a good idea to go drink with Nami when he kept catching himself thinking about feelings that he’d been suppressing for the last two years? Probably not…

But he couldn’t just decline an opportunity to get buzzed. ‘And... Maybe he wanted to get buzzed with Nami, specifically.’  

Zoro scoffed, mostly at himself. “Quit playing games, damnit, do you want me to drink with you or not?”

“You’re so stubborn,” The navigator teased with a pleased smile that made his heart beat unevenly, “I could care less if you join me, but you’re not allowed to come unless you say you’ll be nice.”

“Nami. I am older than you, quit treating me like a fucking child or I swear-”

“That’s no way to talk to a lady who’s getting you drunk for free, Roronoa Zoro. If you can’t be nice then I’ll just add the cost of everything you drink to your debt and-”

Zoro didn’t have time to ruminate over the way hearing her say his full name made him shiver because he had to shut her up before she did charge him. 

“Okay, okay. I’ll be... nice.” He hissed through gritted teeth and her answering giggle made his pulse flutter. He had to fight to keep himself from smiling. ‘What the hell was going on with him tonight? Was he sick?’

“Good boy,” she turned and started walking towards the Sunny’s aquarium bar, glancing back over her shoulder to make sure he was coming.

“Don’t push your luck, woman.” Zoro snarled to mask his confusion over the sudden need to touch her that he felt scratching at the back of his head. He really shouldn’t agree to be Nami’s drinking partner if he wanted to keep their friendship from getting... Complicated.

He knew it, but he followed her up the stairs all the same.

                                                       * * *

“Why d’you always want to drink with me anyway, witch?” Skeptical of her intentions, his narrowed eye fixed itself on Nami as she approached him holding two maroon tinted bottles. She offered one to him and he accepted it – but he didn’t let his guard down yet.

Zoro lowered his gaze to check the label out, whistling long and low when he read 23% alcohol per volume. A couple puzzle pieces clicked together in his head ‘Oh, that’s why. Because if she tried to drink this with anyone else they’d pass out after two glasses.’

“Would you believe that I just like hanging out with you?” Though her tone was teasing she was actually being genuine, she had a lot of fun with him whenever they went out.

“No–“ He paused when Nami kicked him in the shin hard enough to make him swear. Reaching down with his free hand he rubbed the sore patch of skin and glared daggers at his crewmate. “What the fuck was that for?!”

“You said you’d be nice, Zoro! So be nice or I’ll charge you a hundred thousand beris for that bottle.” Nami uncorked hers but waited to hand the corkscrew over until he behaved himself. The look he was giving her would probably frighten a small child but she didn’t flinch.

‘This was his choice.’ He reminded himself. Of his own free will he chose to get drunk with Nami instead of napping, and that meant dealing with her bossiness no matter how much he loathed it. ‘Sometimes he just wanted to grab her by the shoulders and make her shut up, there were better things her mouth could be doing anyway-‘

“Why do you keep staring at me like that, do I have a zit or something?”

Zoro sat up so fast that he banged his shoulder on the underside of the countertop. ‘What the hell was that? What the hell was wrong with him?’ He hadn’t even opened the damn bottle and he was already making himself look like an idiot.

“No,” the swordsman grumbled, wracking his brain for a believable excuse, “Just thinking about how I’ll owe you money even after I’m dead if you keep charging me for bullshit.” That made her laugh and Zoro cursed himself for how much he liked hearing it. “Don’t see how it’s funny for me, witch.”

Nami let him take the corkscrew from her, eyes crinkled with amusement while he opened his bottle. “You’ll just have to stay alive until you pay me back in full, I guess!” She trilled before taking a long, heavy drink from hers.

“Yeah?” Zoro snorted before mimicking her and downing about half of the wine in the container. It tasted disgusting, which he’d expected, but that didn’t make the bitter aftertaste any less miserable. His nose wrinkled slightly as he set the bottle down. “I bet even if I did try to pay you off you’d find a way to charge me more.”

“You make me sound so heartless,” the navigator batted her eyelashes innocently, pretending to look hurt, “Why would I ever do such a thing?”

“Hah.” He scoffed before chugging some more wine and failing to keep track of how much he was drinking each time. “Because you want to keep me on a leash since I don’t throw myself at you like that dumbass cook.”

An impish smirk crawled it’s way onto Nami’s face that made him immediately regret what he’d just said. ‘Fuck. Damnit!’

“So…” She began slowly, savoring every second that the swordsman spent avoiding direct eye contact with her, “You admit that you are one of my lap dogs?”

A muscle in his jaw flexed and he stopped drinking for one second to grunt, “That’s not what I said.”

“That’s what I heard!” Chimed Nami as she rose from her seat, stepping over to Zoro and tracing a finger under his jaw while he drained the last few drops of liquid. “I should get you a collar, so people know who to bring you to when you get lost.”

Normally he would have snapped at her for poking fun at his sense, or lack thereof, direction but he wasn’t listening to her. She’d come close enough for him to pick up her scent and maybe it was the alcohol intensifying his feelings, but it was suffocating him in a good way.

He loved the way she smelled. Tangerines from her soaps mixed with salty seawater and traces of sunscreen. A hint of orange blossom, but only when she was close to him like this. 

Zoro inhaled deeply through his nose and, without realizing it, his expression melted into something affectionate and gentle. ‘In two years she’d changed in so many different ways… but she still smelled the same. She still smelled like home.’

                                                        * * *

“What are you thinking about, Zoro?” Her voice void of it’s usual teasing tone, Nami’s curiosity was piqued by his sudden shift in demeanor. He looked soft and peaceful, like he didn’t have anything to worry about. She wanted to know why.

‘Ah, fuck.’ What was he supposed to tell her? That he was thinking about how good she smelled? ‘Yeah right.’ Zoro was quiet for a while, mulling over his words until he came up with an explanation that didn’t sound as creepy – but also wasn’t a lie.

“I guess..” he finally murmured, his gaze shifting to meet hers, “It’s just been a while and… I was thinking about how nice it feels to be back here, with everyone…” a brief pause then he added, “I missed you guys.” ‘Look at him being all gushy and emotional, this wine really was something else.’ Zoro reached to brush his fingertips by her temple, catching a stray lock of hair and tucking it behind her ear, “I missed you.”

When had Zoro ever been this honest with her about the way he felt? Never was the answer, but now he seemed to trust her well enough to know she wouldn’t spill his secrets. Nami took his face in both of her hands, surprising him, and pulled his head down so she could kiss his forehead. “I missed you too, Zoro.”

Something about hearing her say that she’d missed him too broke a dam in his chest that he’d been trying to keep together for two years. Hormoness flooded through his bloodstream quicker than Zoro could even process them and before he knew it he was practically throwing his arms around Nami’s waist and crushing her against his chest.

“Nami—” he pressed his face into her neck to hide the tears that he couldn’t hold back anymore. Sober he might have cared about losing it like this around her but she was here and… ‘He just – needed to hold her.’ Hold her and smell her and feel how real she was because she had almost been taken from him.

‘He’d barely begun to process what he had been through on Thriller Bark when they were attacked in Sabaody. If he tried to think back on it his memories would get hazy and his bones would ache from their very cores. He knew what had happened but it’s like his brain was protecting him from understanding how close to death he’d come. Then – to be torn away from the people he loved with all of his heart? Who he had just nearly killed himself to protect?

It had ripped him apart and rubbed salt into every wound. And it fucking hurt. The same kind of pain he felt when he saw Kuina dead on the floor of their dojo. He was scared, he was furious, he was devastated – all over again but this time it was so much worse. So, so much worse.

That was why he had trained so hard over the last two years. Because he couldn’t bear the grief that came with loving them so deeply – so he got stronger. And stronger. And stronger. No matter the cost to his body, he would become powerful enough to defeat anyone who crossed them. Then… He would never have to feel the agony that he did when he first woke up on Kuraigana Island ever again.

Taking on all of Luffy’s suffering in Thriller Bark had been the most physically painful experience of his entire life – but that was nothing compared to how much it hurt to think that his friends were gone forever, that he hadn’t been able to protect them.

Training made it easy not to think about what had happened -- but now he was home, and they were safe - and he was realizing just how close he’d come to losing all of them. At once. And he could do nothing to stop it.’

Startled by him grabbing her, Nami was prepared to give the pirate a good smack if he was getting handsy but… He started trembling. ‘Was he not feeling well?’ Her mouth opened to form the question then stopped. His breathing hitched while his entire body jerked and she realized…

‘Zoro was crying.’

Roronoa Zoro, who prided himself on his strength, was sobbing wretchedly into her neck. ‘He must have been holding this in since Sabaody.’ Nami’s heart ached for him and his stupid pride that forced him to torture himself instead of letting him cry like he needed to. She’d been expecting him to crash at some point, how couldn’t he? Even someone as strong as Zoro was still a human being.

One of her arms cradled his head while the other wound round his shoulders, her fingers combing gently through his hair. “Oh you sweet, sweet boy…” she spoke in the tone that Bellemere used to use when Nami and Nojiko were frightened by a passing thunderstorm. It always calmed her, maybe it would calm Zoro, too.

‘Quit fucking crying you loser you’re supposed to be a man.’ But he couldn’t, he literally could not stop because he was trying to. “I wasn’t strong enough,” his voice quivered at the edges and he hated it. ‘He was definitely never going to drink this kind of wine again ever. Not if it turned him into a blubbering mess like this every time.’

“Shhh, no. No. Don’t you dare try to blame yourself for what happened. Hey, look at me.” Nami urged his head off her shoulder and cupped his face in both of her palms, “None of us were strong enough, okay? Not even Luffy.” Each tear that fell she tenderly swept away with the pad of her thumb. The corner of her mouth turned up as she assured him, “But we are strong enough now. We can take care of each other. Nothing is ever going to tear us apart again, Zoro.”

‘She was right. Of course, she was right. He needed to have faith in his crewmates and his captain. They could do anything as long as they had each other.’ His breathing slowly evened out as he focused on anchoring himself back to reality. He wasn’t in Sabaody or Kuraigana – he was on the Sunny. In the bar, with Nami who had grown so much since he last saw her. The look in his eye softened like it had before his breakdown.

“You’re staring at me again, Zoro.” The navigator teased, her hands falling to rest on his shoulders. He hadn’t let go of her yet but she didn’t mind, he could hold on to her for as long as he needed.

A ghost of his usual smirk passed across his face. “Sorry, Nami…” Zoro took a little risk by leaning in to press a chaste but lingering kiss to her cheek, then traced a path with the edge of his nose to her ear, murmuring, “Wine makes me a little… Messy.”